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#a little gift to myself i think
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a merry Between Week to everyone! rest well!
extra layers:
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canisalbus · 7 months
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cursed no tattoo machete (I'm sorry for doing this to him)
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linkvcr · 12 days
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goooood afternoon skysword nation
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crocuspetals · 20 days
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Kenlee (Kenny x Lee) for the cat/dignified ships!
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sure why not
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sideblogdotjpeg · 24 days
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learned the term "knitworthy" from the patreon comments . anyway. the polycule does NOT respect the fiber arts grind
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goldkirk · 2 months
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I opened Pinterest for the first time in months.
That made me realize a lot about how bad I was actually doing and how much of a Waffle House Index use of Pinterest is for adult me, apparently.
I hadn’t realized it had grown that foundational to me in a healthy-brain-exercise-and-hobby-joy way. Nice to know moving forward! It’s another sign I can keep track of and use to spot correlation/indicator patterns earlier my behavior.
I love this kind of thing, it makes me so excited!
#personal data hacking is my passion#someday I’ll tell a story about the most notable times I tracked things or hacked my own mental processes from childhood to now#including the fear of spiders and bed wetting and behavior changes and posture and heart rate and cursive and putting kitchen items and#trash away as soon as I’m finished using them instead of never ever or ages and ages later#I’m so proud of that#you have to give it time and still commit. chaining thoughts and routines and behaviors really works#we are not separate brains and bodies and external environments#anyway I’m gonna go haha I used up he last of my energy burst on Discord and here and I need to go rest and lie on the floor and probly doze#love you all be back soon bye mwah!#add to journal#trauma evolution#my Waffle House index#this is going to be a fun new tag I’m so going to have fun with this and I bet it’ll be a helpful example reference for other people too#more than just for future me!#so excited so proud of myself so happy so grateful for hope about me really trusting that my ability and my behavior and my performance#are able to and going to yes keep getting better#long many-milestone path-journeys of potential#like when I was a little 6-7 year old kid-team athlete looking ahead at a concept of a future with me over time getting#stronger and cleverer and faster and slicker and calmer and even happier and more and more capable and able to accomplish!#a gift. all this time I didn’t think I’d have and have been living anyway is such a gift.#knowing that I truly have future time to grow and explore and change and improve in even though I still can’t FEEL or IMAGINE that future#time yet. also a gift.#the time I will one day realize I can imagine a future and imagine myself alive? will be a gift.#breath is a gift. experiencing life is a gift. other life is a gift. rhythm is a gift. motion is a gift. awake is a gift. color is a gift.#such a great expanse. all of it new. all of it eternal. all of it me. all of it nothing I’ve ever known before. all of it all of it#all of it. gifts.#gonna go have floor time now. this would be such a nice time to re-re-regain my ability to cry!#mwah I love you future me. take care of your hand and thank u for writing all this down 💛#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?#my poetry
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hcnnibal · 3 months
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I need A1 and A2 to have a show with at least 4 seasons for me to binge watch! I’m obsessed with them!!
I love that A2 is like the biggest, scariest, deadliest, most loyal lapdog ever😭
i too want them to have a show 😭😭😭 but alas if i want content for them i gotta make it myself
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jtl-fics · 7 months
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more importantly how would riko fit into camping setting this man never touched grass
LMAO Shoulda known this would be the follow-up ask from you my dear.
I know we talked about Riko and stars but I'm gonna write a lil bit about it. So more under the cut.
There was a time where the car that is taking Riko from place to place, media event to media event breaks down in the middle of the road. There's no cell service and it's just him and a driver. The driver heads off, swearing to be back with a tow truck or whatever assistance they need.
Riko sits in that backseat arms crossed and PISSED about what's going on. He's going to miss his media engagement, it's going to be a whole damn thing. Who knows how Master will react. He can't do anything because he needs his suit to be perfect for when he shows up fashionably late to the engagement and the interview.
Then an hour passes, maybe two, maybe three, and it's dark. He can no longer entertain himself by counting the stitches in the fine Italian leather seats like he'd been doing when he ran out of Exy strategies to think about and funny excuses to give to people who might not even know he's not there.
He climbs out of the car figuring he can count a few stars, make exy plays out of their formations if nothing else. It'll get boring just like the few times he and Kevin snuck up to the top of the stadium and looked at the muted stars. Staring up at the stars won't ruin his suit.
He looks up and the universe is greeting him.
He gets back in the car suddenly feeling overwhelmed by what he had just seen. Sits and tries to count the stitches (finite, with an end) just by touch but he keeps getting different numbers since his fingers aren't that sensitive anymore.
He takes a breath and climbs out of the car again and looks up. The universe greets him again and it's endless. He can't possibly count what is up there, it's bigger than him. He looks at his suit and knows that he's not going to be going to make it and he can think up a good story about why he's dirty.
He settles on the hood of the car staring up into the sky and he feels small. A car passes him and he doesn't even try to stop it too transfixed by the heavens above him.
A few more hours pass like this and he wonders if his driver just legged it fearing the repercussions of improper maintenance of a Moriyama vehicle. He wonders if he lives here now.
The car is kind of uncomfortable he looks to the side and thinks about laying on the grass and thinks about insects and worms and things beneath him. Small things that can be destroyed by him so easily right under his polished shoes. He's above them, high above them.
He looks up at the stars again and finds himself laying with the bugs in the grass.
It's nice.
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smilesrobotlover · 29 days
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How is your week going?
It's going pretty ok! I only have one more exam so i'm kinda chilling, thinking about stories and stuff. It's fun. But I ordered something reeeeeally exciting that's arriving on the 15th and I'm anxiously waiting for it to arrive I'm SO excited hehe!
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cornerful · 7 months
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It's newsletter time babey!!
I've some catching up to do 🏃‍♂️
I basically ended up taking a complete hiatus from tumblr for several months when my migraines got real bad last year. And then things, as things do, kept on happening. Bastards.
I haven't looked much at the tag yet and I still have to catch up with the first five? Chapters and relearn the ropes so to speak, but hopefully I'll see some familiar faces around this year, and new ones 👀
Last time I couldn't get to the end but what I did get through was a lot of fun and the best part was what everyone else was saying and drawing and discussing! That's what I missed the most, was talking and joking with everyone. Lotr is probably my Favorite Story, and to have this in-time community readthrough is such a treasure. As usual, three cheers for @sindar-princeling for organizing. It's a hell of a feat 😁
I'm arriving uh...Precisely When I Mean To ;] but here's to a great year! 💚🍻
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seariii · 3 months
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*getting out of bed stumbling* let's send the last couple gifts... (< Can barely open her eyes)
Also... I always forget how pretty it feels to gift things to others... Some have big reactions, some have smaller ones, but... Most of the time you get to see them happy, a small smile, a warm feeling.... That's beautiful... So beautiful
And Im still not used to the receiving gifts jajajaja and it's... So pretty... It's such a warm and gentle feeling but so so strong... "This was made for me, thinking about me" "this was chosen for me".... I'm... Heh...
Giving and receiving gifts is always so beautiful.... This is why I love Christmas, Valentine's, birthdays.... I'd love to actually bake everyone brownies... To give them little cards...
Also valentine's is so pretty because it's all about love! And at least where I live is literally called The Love and Friendship Day!!!! So I've always seen valentine's as a good day to show appreciation for friends ... *Happy sigh* I love Love
Jijiji as I was writing the notes, my brother knocked on my door and gave me a small cinnamoroll notepad and it's so cute... Such a cute day
Alr, now let's send those gifts
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theflyingfeeling · 4 months
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Eighteenth Day of Gift-Giving: Aches
Prompt: "Just focus on me and try to relax."
This is the prompt I asked a little help with, and here's the result! I wanted to bring back the airport saga one more time, the previous part of which can be found here (although I'm afraid you still won't get to learn how Niko and Tommi are doing at the bar, sorry). This piece was sort of inspired by several prompts on the list, but this was the only one I included as it is. Enjoy 🖤
~
Joel’s head hurt. His eyes hurt. His back hurt from lying on the floor. His jaw hurt from gritting his teeth. His palms hurt from his nails digging into them in an attempt to mute all the other pain into something more harmless and bearable, but it only made him more frustrated. The only part of him that wasn’t hurting was a small patch of his skin near his collarbone where Joonas’ thumb worked in a circular motion. It wasn’t much, but definitely more than what Joel deserved after having complained the entire day, as if everyone else wasn’t as tired and irked about the situation; he was just the one being a huge bitch about it. 
And then there was Joonas. Joonas, who always knew better than to bother Tommi when he sat still with his eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest. Joonas, who would let Niko borrow his powerbank charger even though he was running on 8% himself, just so he could call Minna to wish her good night before he'd climb to his bunk. Joonas, who had made everyone promise they wouldn’t comment on whatever Olli and Aleksi had going on between them, because apparently they were yet to figure it out themselves and that they should be left to do that in peace, on their own terms. 
Yeah, there was no way in hell Joel was worthy of Joonas’ solicitude. Not even a little bit, Joel decided and turned to his side on the new-ish hardwood flooring of the airport lounge, even though it made him feel even more uncomfortable and pained. 
Only then he noticed that the only other part of his body that wasn’t hurting, apart from the little piece of skin Joonas had been caressing, had been the back of his head. 
Because Joonas’ arm had been there this whole time, keeping his head from dropping to the cold, hard floor.
The arm was now protecting his temple and showing no signs of moving from under him. It must have gone numb by now, although Joel wasn’t sure how long they had been lying there. It might have been only five minutes, but with Joel’s sense of time being manipulated by his agony, it could've also been five hours for all he knew.
“Do you want me to go?”
Joel sighed. He was surprised by the smallness of his own voice when he heard himself speak.
“I bet the sofa would be more comfortable.”
“For sure, but do you want me to go?”
It’s not that Joel hadn’t known his answer the first time Joonas asked him. He just didn’t know how to ask Joonas to stay without feeling like he was asking too much.
Too much, as in more than what he was worthy of. 
Joonas, however, took his silence as an affirmative answer and tried to slide his arm from under Joel’s head. Instinctively – or not knowing what else to do to have his way; to selfishly keep Joonas by his side – Joel grabbed Joonas’ hand to keep it in place. Joonas stopped in his tracks that very second, and two more later, intertwined their fingers, and in doing so, stopped the entire world around Joel.
For a fleeting second, there was no half-empty airport lounge, no fog outside the enormous windows keeping them as its prisoners. There was just Joonas' hand in his, and it shattered his world.
Joel wasn’t used to this kind of intimacy. He simply wouldn't let it happen, not with Joonas, not with anyone. Fleeing before anyone got too close to him never made him too proud of himself, but he didn't know anything else.
He couldn’t really explain why. It scared him, he supposed. Even now, his entire body shivered and his chest felt tight with something Joel did not know how to put into words.
He was thankful that at least with Joonas, he never had to; Joel sometimes felt as if the guy could read his thoughts, which was a comfort as much as it was a nuisance.
“Shhhhhhhhhhh.” Joonas ran his hand up and down Joel’s arm. “Breathe, Joel. Just breathe.”
It was incredible how Joonas knew he was suffocating even before Joel realised it himself.
Joel squeezed his eyes closed and tried to imagine himself some place else, just anywhere that wasn’t a room half filled with strangers, many of them probably gawking at them and wondering what the hell was wrong with him. 
I’m what’s wrong with me, Joel wanted to tell them. I’m so wrong and broken that I’m on the verge of a panic attack by having lowered my walls enough for my best friend to fucking comfort me when I need him the most, nothing else to see here, thank you and have a nice day.
“Joel.”
He could barely hear Joonas’ voice. He couldn’t tell if it was because it was so quiet or because his heartbeat was so loud in his ears.
“Joel. Please turn around. I want to help you. Please.”
Maybe it was the calming tone of Joonas’ voice. Maybe it was the movement of Joonas’ hand on his arm, or the fact his other hand was still clasping Joel’s, tight as if to keep him from falling off a cliff. Whatever it was, something made Joel do as Joonas asked, and he turned slowly, first to lie on his back for a moment, then to face Joonas. 
He kept his eyes shut, for he found some kind of strange comfort in the darkness. Sometimes it terrified him to death, but with Joonas’ soft voice speaking to him, Joel suddenly felt as if nothing would.
It took him a minute, maybe two, for Joel to find his normal breathing rhythm again. Somehow it matched perfectly with the pattern of Joonas’, which made it easier, Joel guessed. He didn’t even try to understand it; one moment he’s a trembling mess, a prey animal who had digged inside a leaf pile trying to hide its own heartbeat, and in the next he’s boneless and warm under Joonas’ touch, his blood finally flowing to his limbs again.
“Just… focus on me and try to relax. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“It’s okay.”
“Okay.”
“I’m here, Joel. You’re safe.”
I know.
~*~
"Joel. Hey, Joel, we're going."
The headache wasn't gone, but Joel supposed he had managed to fall asleep for a short while, since keeping his eyes open wasn't such a strenuous task any more. There was a slight pain in his neck, but he felt warm, even when Joonas lifted the leather jacket he had put on him at some point.
Maybe, against all odds, he'd make it back home alive.
"They're boarding us soon."
Joel could only nod at the information. His entire body felt heavy, possibly too heavy for the plane to take off with him inside it, if Joel was to count on his luck.
Only at the boarding queue he had the strength to lift his head and take in his surroundings. He saw members of the crew, yawning tapping on their phone cases. There was Tommi and under his arm almost sleeping Niko, perhaps a little tipsy if the shade of his gaze was anything to go by. Behind them, Olli and Aleksi's eyes kept wandering back to each other time after time, quick smiles visiting their lips each time they caught the other staring. They way their hands kept fumbling with each other, almost teasingly before shying away again, implied they would've holded hands if they had been some place else that wasn't an international airport.
Joel could relate: his hand was no good for anything without Joonas holding it.
~*~
The time on Joel's phone was nearing four in the morning when they finally stepped out of the taxi. It wasn't unsual to him to be awake at that hour, more often than not against his will, however.
His tired eyes blurred when he stared at the front door of his apartment building. Joonas' would be a few blocks down the street; close enough for Joel to stomp to whenever he ran out of oat milk.
(The nearest grocery store with an entire shelf full of Joel's favourite brand was about as close in the opposite direction, but Joonas wouldn't be there.)
"D'you wanna stay at mine?"
(And they wouldn't read Joel's mind at the grocery store the way Joonas always did.)
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borderline-abnormal · 2 months
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computer: how do i learn to act like myself around others-- quickest route- no masking
....
'puter do you hear me?
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derpinette · 4 months
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sometimes i will get bored & go through someone's entire blog since its creation
#& if they have their blog made unsearchable therefore no archive to pick posts from i take it as a challenge#& i really read every post not just skimming i gave up archives caus i find it hard to pay attention to individual posts#plus you never see the full tags & clearly from my postings they serve as the single most important part of a post#the actual post is more of like a title or a sort of epigraph#& i am interested in the Posters themselves like i feel compelled to absorb&gather as much information about them as possible#in an effort to understand them ( as well as myself Many epiphanies & revelations came to me from this activity i recommend it )#i just did this BTW not saying who but god if you never knew of her you totally missed out on the best Poaster tumblr has ever had to offer#her mind was unlike any other & her influence on me is so noticeable even today. wishing her well today & always#also (moving on from that) i even constantly have like 40 tumblr blog tabs open at all times#some that are even i think 3 years old now#i never close them they keep me company i will not really click on yhem either To be honest but those are like my friends My chums;#on my phone as well two year old tabs from when i was still in highschool of tumblr blogs i was reading#i just have so much Love in my heart for Posters real genuine love not interpersonal just as an Observer#well kind of interpersonal when it comes to some#so if you have a tracker & you see someone from north africa spending hours or even days or months on your blog#that would be me#i actually did spend months once back when blogs opened on the side i never shut my laptop off & my tabs are always saved#had to go back & scroll a little to keep the page active to not refresh & i got as far back as 2010 i think#because their blog did not have an archive but NOTHING will stop me OK if you got a Beautiful Mind or Gift Of Curation#i will do anything in my power to enjoy it. without disturbing you ( as much as i can anyway )
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fantomette22 · 1 year
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Lady Maria framed photograph
The old hunters considerably assisted Byrgenwerth and the newly founded Healing Church with their researches and expeditions in Loran.
In the caves of this desolate region they found the lumenflowers. Legendary and forgotten species of plants, greatly appreciated by the Kins, phantasms and a few Great Ones.
They bring them back to Yharnam in order to attend Communion. With a lot of patience and many efforts, they finally managed to grow the delicate flowers in the heart of the city.
It is said to have been Lady Maria's favorite.
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kerocola · 7 months
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The Seal (Little Witch Nobeta)
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