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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 18: Growing Pains (originally published on July 12, 2021)

AN: Welcome back everyone. Now, this is going to be a pretty heavy chapter for me to write. Well, mostly the A-plot, the B-plot will be courtroom nonsense ala Phoenix Wright and Harvey Birdman. But I'm getting off track, as someone who have faced some very tough times before in my life, I hope I can be as respectful to both the original episode and everyone who watched it as possible. Now then, let's get rocking and rolling.

Synopsis: Steven goes to his first doctor's appointment and realizes how deep his problems run.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball, Yellow Pearl

Grace Rolek as Connie

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Priyanka

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Charlyne Yi as Navy

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Amy Sedaris as Yellow Zircon, Blue Zircon

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Featuring Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

The day after his failed date with Connie, Steven stayed in his bedroom for most of the morning where he was surrounded by ice cream and watching the preview for a new Dogcopter movie, which showed the titular canine standing on top of a black car chasing a blue car and a mail van while a pug gave him orders.

"I know you're eager to catch the mail truck Dogcopter, but it's really a decoy!" the other dog at the wheel named Drew ordered Dogcopter. "Chase the blue car instead! Good boys chase the blue car, and you're a good boy Dogcopter!"

With a fearless expression, Dogcopter leaped off the black car and used the propeller on his back to fly towards the black car, followed by using a pair of extendable hands to open up the trunk, revealing a bomb and a ring box inside.

"Nice work DC, now get the bomb outta the trunk and off the bridge!" Drew congratulated Dogcopter. "We're almost out of time!"

However, it was too late for Dogcopter. The bomb went off as he tossed it off the bridge, and the resulting explosion blew him away. As Dogcopter collapsed on the bridge, the ring box fell from his mechanical hands and onto the asphalt.

"Dogcopter, no!" Drew cried as he burst from the car to keep his friend alive. "I can't lose you Dogcopter!" Luckily, Dogcopter was unharmed and he woke up to pop open the ring box, which contained a ring shaped like a dog bone that he presented to Drew. "Is that?"

"DOGCOPTER 6: TILL DEATH DO WE BARK: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WOOF!" the announcer read the film's title as it appeared on the screen, making Steven groan in agony at the irony of the trailer he was watching.

"Everyone's getting married except me!" Steven yelled as he sank into his bed and started turning pink. "Even Dogcopter succeeded in popping the question! I feel like poop." Steven then picked up his phone and tried calling one of the Crystal Gems, but he unfortunately got no answer. "Wish the Gems weren't doing a field trip to Homeworld today. I wonder if they got any reception?"

Meanwhile, on the Gem Homeworld, it was a rather tense time. Following the exposure of Black Rutile's revolution and attempted massacre of the Crystal Gems, the citizens were in fear of who among them could still be a supporter of her. And three followers, in particular, were about to be put on trial.

Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth led their classes into the Diamonds' throne room, which was already set up like a courtroom with stands for the judge, jury, witnesses, attorneys, and the accused. Those accused were Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, and Navy, who sat down at the plaintiff's bench with varying expressions of irritation, resignation, and sadness.

"Now class, we want you all to be on your best behavior," Garnet advised the Gem students. "This is a serious time for our kind, and we want absolute silence for most of this trial. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Garnet." The Gems obliged before they retreated to the jury box while their teachers took their seats at the prosecutor's stand. That was when Garnet took notice of Pearl sticking her nose in the book by George Ikari that she had gotten at yesterday's signing.

"I see you're keeping yourself busy Pearl." Garnet remarked, forcing Pearl to look up from her book.

"Thanks for noticing Garnet." Pearl replied to the fusion. "I've just been a little enraptured by this little tome lately. George uses such flowery terms for such simple concepts, and the concepts in question could be very useful to Steven too."

"All y'all, shush!" Amethyst ordered her two seniors. "Here comes the judge!"

"All rise for the honorable Yellow Diamond!" Yellow Pearl announced, serving as the bailiff for this trial, before her former Diamond emerged from the curtained entrance and made her way to her throne.

"Good day to you Gems." Yellow Diamond greeted the other Gems in the makeshift courtroom with utmost seriousness. "In case you are wondering, Blue and White Diamond are out searching for more of Black Rutile's supporters, so I shall serve as sole judge for these proceedings." She informed. "Now without further ado, read the charges."

"Holly Blue Agate-12B, Morganite-8HK, and Ruby-EJ9, you stand here accused of your support of the intelligence officer turned terrorist Black Rutile." Yellow Pearl announced as she read off a hologram. "How do you all plead?"

"Not guilty!" Holly Blue declared, speaking on behalf of all three of them. "Black Rutile is no terrorist, she had big dreams for our kind! She simply wanted to restore us to our old ways because she believed Steven had made us weak, no doubt weak enough to be so easily conquered!"

"Liar. Kinda not surprised you would do this." Amethyst snarked in-between fake coughing, inciting a glare from the Agate before she continued her plea.

"If you can find it within yourself, your most grand clarity, to scrub this silly trial altogether and let us go, it would be most grand." Holly Blue continued.

"Request denied." Yellow declared coldly. "If you really insist on begging on your knees this whole time, then I guess your defense attorney might not be needed."

"Wait, attorney?" Amethyst wondered out loud just as a new Gem stepped into the room.

"Sorry for being so fashionably late, Yellow!" a tall, confident Gem apologized as she strode into the throne room. In addition to the honey yellow pantsuit with large diamond-shaped buttons she wore to match the gemstone above her upper lip that resembled a mole, a straight bob-cut, and a cat's tail emerging from her rear, this new Gem also wore a large sunhat, a neon fur coat, sunglasses, high heels, mustard yellow opera gloves, and a cigarette holder in her left hand. "Had to quell a few uprisings a few districts over. Hope you're not too mad."

"Oh goody." Bismuth shared the sentiments of her fellow Crystal Gems as they grimaced at the cat-like defense attorney, all except for Amethyst.

"Who's the new pussycat here?" Amethyst asked about the attorney.

"That's Cat's Eye, one of the most affluent uppercrusts on Homeworld." Bismuth informed the smaller Gem.

"And one of the most irritating." Lapis groaned as she buried her face in her hands.

"She's almost like an Earth cat in a way." Peridot added. "Incredibly smug, loves making others mad solely for her amusement, and that grin on her face just rubs me the wrong way."

"So Cat, how have you been lately?" Pearl asked the opposing attorney with a strained smile.

"Miserable, my darling Pearl. Perfectly wretched." Cat's Eye answered as she made her coat, hat and sunglasses disappear with a snap of her fingers, revealing a pair of cat ears atop her hair. "Now then, let us get down to business." With that, Cat's Eye took her place alongside the prosecuted trio and kicked her legs up on the table.

"Oh Cat's Eye, thank you so much for coming out today!" Holly Blue exclaimed gratefully. "These horrible traitors have framed us for a crime we clearly didn't commit, and now we could lose every-"

"Could you move approximately 30 centimeters away from me?" Cat's Eye raised a paw-like hand to Holly's face while filing her sharp nails. "You're invading my personal space." The Agate meekly complied and returned to her seat, causing Amethyst to laugh raucously.

"That cat may be trouble, but seeing Holly put in her place will always crack me up!" Amethyst cackled, but her chuckling was cut short when Cat's Eye turned her cigarette holder into a riding crop to whip Amethyst in the hands with. "MEOWCH! Bad kitty, what the H?!"

"Order in the court." Cat's Eye declared crossly as she returned her weapon to her gem and took a stand. "Now, without further ado, I'd like to make my case for these three Gems and call a witness."

"Go right ahead Cat's Eye." Yellow rolled her eyes before the cymophane made her plea.

"Your honor, Gems of the court, these three stand here wrongly accused by these band of ingrates for allying themselves with a known terrorist who once filled a high seat in White Diamond's court." Cat's Eye stated. "But, maybe they could've been spared this fate if the Crystal Gems had simply shown them a little kindness."

"OBJECTION!" Pearl yelled and pointed an accusing finger at Cat. "We tried to show Navy here kindness, but it was all a ploy to steal back her squadron's ship!"

"That is true." Navy agreed. "But I simply played nice because you left us all to drift forever in space, even after Steven said you'd get us all back!"

"I'll admit, she raises a good point." Garnet found herself agreeing with the Ruby. "We were in a rush to get back to Earth, so rescuing the Rubies just flew over our heads."

"I rest my case." Cat's Eye declared with a prideful smirk. "Now, if we have nothing else to discuss, I'd like to call Yellow Zircon to the stand."

The Gems in the gallery began muttering among themselves as Yellow Zircon sadly got up from her seat and marched to the witness's stand, while her blue counterpart gave her a cheeky grin. "Whatever you do," Yellow Zircon said to Blue Zircon. "don't make a fool out of me."

"Oh, I won't." Blue Zircon said innocently as Yellow Zircon made her way to the stands, where Cat's Eye sat down in front of her with a seductive gaze.

"Now my dearest Zircon, do try to not make a fool of yourself for me." Cat cooed, cupping the Zircon's face in her hand and squeezing her cheeks, making her usually arrogant witness blush.

"I-I won't." Yellow Zircon sheepishly obliged and sat down in the witness's box. "But how did you become an attorney? You don't know the first thing about law and order!"

"Well, I'm here because I'm smarter than you think I am!" Cat's Eye yelled at Yellow Zircon's face, a far cry from the smug seductress she presented herself as. "Not because I'm so gorgeous! Though I really am."

"This is going to take a while." Pearl groaned before picking up her book again. "I wonder how Steven is doing."

Back on Earth, Steven continued to scroll through all the numbers he had on his phone. Pretty much most of the people in his contacts had either already began to drift away from him, would probably be too busy to call, or simply didn't have time for him. All except for one.

"Hi, Steven!" Greg greeted his son on the other end after Steven decided to give him a call.

"Hi Dad, how's it going?" Steven asked his father.

"The tour's been going great!" Greg replied happily. "Which reminds me, how have you been doing? You been throwing any dope ragers while you got the house to yourself?"

"Yeah, you know me. Steven the party animal." Steven responded sarcastically. "I'm glad you're finally coming home tonight Dad. I wanna talk to you about something that's happened between me and Connie?"

"Oh, this isn't that whole situation after you came back from Homeworld the first time again, right?" Greg asked sympathetically. "By the way, Sadie and Shep wanna say hi while they're working on a new routine that they're excited to show off. And guess what? The tour got extended!"

"Wow, that's-that's great." Steven tried to sound happy for the musicians and their manager, but at the same time, he was sad that he'd have to wait a little while longer for his dad to come home.

"Yeah." Even if they were far apart, Greg could sense the disappointment in his half-alien son's voice before trying to turn things around. "I get that you want to see me again soon, but this manager job is working great for me! Takes me back to when I was touring as a lad. Anyways, we're gonna go through a tunnel. You wanna call me back about your Connie sitch?"

"I-it's not really important." Steven fibbed.

"You sure?" Greg asked Steven. "You know, I can make a quick stop when we pass through Delmarva."

"No, I'm totally fine. Have fun!" Steven reiterated before hanging up and letting out a deep sigh. "Maybe I should get some more ice cream."

Steven then walked down to the kitchen to fetch some more of that dairy goodness from the freezer, but when he opened the freezer door, he discovered Connie's glow bracelet left in there after last night. Taken by surprise, the depressed half-Gem once again turned pink, but this time was different.

This time, parts of Steven's body began swelling up like a balloon and tearing through his pajamas as he accidentally tore the freezer door off its hinges before slowly turning back to normal. As Steven was left aghast at this new development, he decided to take a breather on the couch. However, his body began swelling up for the second time in a row as Connie began calling him on his phone.

"I shouldn't worry her." Steven tried to hang up on Connie upon realizing her promise yesterday to call him at noon. "You know what, I'll let her go to voicemail!" Steven's body had other plans as his right arm began to inflate and took the call for him, allowing Connie to be seen on his screen while the arm returned to normal.

"Steven, are you there?" Connie asked through video call.

"Hey Connie, what's up?" Steven casually asked, trying to hide the strange new changes his body was going through.

"I've been worried about you Steven." Connie answered when she noticed how pink her best friend was. "Um, are you glowing?" she asked before Steven's face began to puff up. "Good grief, what's wrong with your face?!"

"Wait, my face?" Steven mumbled through his inflated head. "What's wrong with my face?"

"Uh…." Connie replied.

"Oh right, the swelling." Steven realized what his would've been-wife was talking about. "Parts of my body have been randomly growing for some reason. But I'm sure it doesn't hurt, I'm perfectly fine!"

"How long has this been happening?" Connie inquired.

"Since this morning." Steven meekly replied, causing his face to blow up some more.

"What do the Gems think?" Connie began pressing further.

"Can't reach them right now." Steven answered as his face returned to normal while the rest of his body kept growing. "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were asked to serve as prosecutors for a trial on Homeworld, so they decided to make it into a Little Homeschool field trip." As Steven finished, his form returned to its normal size. "It's really nothing to worry about."

"You don't look well." Connie nervously observed. "I think you should see a doctor. I can ask my mom if she'd like to give you a checkup."

"I wouldn't want to bother her." Steven declared. "Besides, I already got a pretty okay idea of what doctors do when I went to see Lars in the hospital after his crash landing."

"Steven, you need to see a medical professional," Connie demanded. "Doesn't matter if my mom can see you or not, you need help."

"Okay, you're right." Steven accepted the opportunity while his face began to deform yet again. "Call me when she's ready."

Thankfully for Steven, Connie's mother had an opening and soon enough, Steven was sitting in her office with Connie by his side.

"You're lucky I had a cancellation today," Priyanka stated as she prepared for work. "Usually, I'm booked weeks in advance."

"Think you'll be able to help Steven out?" Connie asked her mother. "Even if this is some sort of Gem issue?"

"Gem issue or otherwise, he still has a human body, which means we can run tests." Priyanka remarked. "At the very least, we can see if you're suffering from a non-Gem condition, Steven."

"See? Everything will be fine." Connie assured Steven. "I'm sure everything will be fine." As Connie left the examination room, she began dialing on her phone and put it to her ear.

"Okay, give me all you got." Steven said reluctantly to the doctor.

"Alright, let's check for symptoms first." Priyanka said before putting a thermometer in Steven's ear to check his temperature. "Mild fever." She observed before walking away to pick up a stethoscope, returning to find that Steven is starting to once again glow pink. "Glowing pink color to the skin." Priyanka continued as she put the stethoscope to Steven's heart and then his gem. Next, she reached for a blood pressure device to check Steven's blood pressure, but it caused his arm to swell up and break the machine, causing his doctor to fall over in alarm.

However, Priyanka was quick to regain her composure as she looked over the notes she had taken. "Blood pressure is high!" she realized as she got up. "Well, these readings are quite interesting. Tell me, Steven, if you don't mind, who's your GP?"

"GP?" Steven wondered.

"Your general practitioner?" Priyanka explained to her patient. "As in, your regular doctor?"

"I guess you?" Steven answered confusedly. "I never have been to a doctor's appointment before, mostly because I have the Gems, my dad, or my healing spit to rely on whenever I get hurt."

"You're almost seventeen and you have never seen a doctor?!" a shocked Priyanka yelled, causing Steven to once again turn pink and inflate before she tried to calm him down. "I-it's okay, it's okay! I'll talk with your father later, but now we'll just need to run some more tests."

Steven looked nervously at Connie's mom as she walked over to a cupboard, opening it to fetch some hospital gowns. "Get undressed, then we'll help you into a gown." Priyanka ordered.

"Is that one of those blue things that don't cover your butt?" Steven asked embarrassedly before he was thrown a hospital gown.

"Yes, now let's get started." Priyanka declared before snapping on a rubber glove.

"Thank you for your testimony little Peridot." Cat's Eye thanked Squaridot, while licking the back of her hand, as the square-headed Peridot finished her testimony. "Tell us your designation so we may enter it into the records."

"Peridot, Facet-4E3M Cut-7ZY." Squaridot stated as she left the witness's stand and rejoined her classmates. "But everyone calls me Squaridot."

"Squaridot?" Cat's Eye repeated with utter disgust. "Who comes up with these abhorrent names?! I mean, Laz, Zuli, and now Squaridot?!"

"Would you care to get to the point?" Bismuth snarked to the catlike defendant.

"Gladly." Cat's Eye answered before clearing her throat. "Gems of this courtroom, the testimonies we have heard so far have given me enough to make my deduction." She announced to the courtroom. "These Crystal Gems are only kind to other Gems who treat them kindly in exchange. And that DOES, NOT, MAKE, SENSE!" She emphasized her declaration by slamming her fist into her open palm with each word. "If they say that they practice restorative justice, then why didn't they use that kind of justice on my clients here?"

"OBJECTION!" Amethyst yelled. "Girl, did you even see the Human Zoo back in the day?! Holly Blue was treating my quartz peeps like garbage!"

"That is because they were beneath her in the caste system!" Cat's Eye argued with Amethyst. "I swear you droll quartz, did you emerge yesterday or something?!"

"Actually, she was," Pearl answered for the purple Gem. "And you're just making stuff up in the hopes of sounding smart!"

"Do I have 'stupid' written on my gem, you no-good servant?!" Cat's Eye shouted at the white Gem, making sure to whip Pearl's hands for added emphasis. "Let's review what we have learned so far. Those two Lapis Lazulis retaliated violently when ordered to not terraform and their friend came close to poofing them both, yet 2F8D immediately forgot all that when coming to your silly little school!" she analyzed. "That does NOT, MAKE, SENSE!"

"Laz and I argued about going to Little Homeschool!" Zuli objected to Cat's Eye's observation. "An argument you obviously weren't there for-" Before Zuli could finish, she got a whip in the hands by Cat's Eye's riding crop.

"No backtalk!" Cat's Eye exclaimed as she returned to her statement. "Back on subject, then came Miss Squaridot here," she once again cringed at the name while gesturing to Squaridot. "who was given a second chance, yet was poofed without a second thought! That does NOT, MAKE, SENSE!"

"I tried to give Squari a second chance after I released her from her bubble," Peridot began. "but she then just ran off and got herself taken over by Hessonite's warship."

"Ah yes, the swashbuckling vigilante Hessonite." Cat's Eye said smugly. "Tell me, why isn't she here today to give a testimony?"

"Hessonite is off weeding out more of Black Rutile's supporters across many of our former colonies, alongside Citrine." Yellow Diamond answered.

"Speaking of Black Rutile, what if, and a very big if here." Cat's Eye stated. "What if Black Rutile wanted to do better than the Crystal Gems by offering these lost Gems a helping hand?"

"OBJECTION!" Pearl roared and once again pointed straight at Cat's Eye. "That no-good Rutile didn't care one bit for her subordinates! Not only did she let them all get defeated by us, but she abused her Topaz as well!"

"As I had stated earlier with Holly Blue, the Topaz was merely a subordinate to Black Rutile, especially since the Rutile had such a shockingly high status in White Diamond's court." Cat replied.

"Same with my Ruby and Pearl that fused into Rhodonite," Morganite spoke up. "It was only natural that we mistreated those beneath us."

"And on the topic of Pink Diamond's entourage," Cat declared. "allow me to call her former Pearl to the stand."

Rising from her seat, Volleyball separated from her Little Homeschool classmates to walk to the witness's stand, where Cat was awaiting her.

"My dear Pearl, you truly deserved a better Diamond than Pink." Cat cooed to Volleyball while stroking her broken eye, which was now showing the absolute faintest signs of a pupil following her fusion with her white-colored successor at the Reef. "Tell us all this court needs to know sweetie,

"Actually, you can call me Volleyball now." Volleyball corrected the defense attorney. "That's the name Steven gave me."

"VOLLEYBALL?!" Cat's Eye shrieked outrageously at the top of her lungs, quickly returning to her normal condescending tone. "I shouldn't have spoken too soon after complaining about that Peridot." She muttered while pointing a thumb over to Squaridot. "Now tell me, word on the street is that you may know a thing or two about this revolution. Is this true?"

"Yes, it's true." Volleyball revealed remorsefully, shocking the prosecutors and the jury. "Not too long after Era 3 began, I was left wondering what purpose I could still serve now that Pink Diamond was gone, until Black Rutile and Holly Blue Agate approached me with the chance to seek revenge by spying on their enemies."

"That is a bold-faced lie if I ever saw one!" Holly Blue fibbed while beginning to sweat profusely. "I never approached her in the slightest, the poor Pearl came crawling to me in tears, begging, no, pleading that she get some sort of payback for the abuse she suffered!"

"Really laying it on thick Holly." Morganite stoically muttered to the Agate.

"Yes, I can clearly see you lying." Pearl added before she walked over for Volleyball. "But as for you Volley, is it true? Did you really join Black Rutile and spy on us this whole time?"

"I'm truly sorry Pearl, they gave me no other choice." Volleyball apologized, now on the verge of tears. "I was so horrified by how they wanted to fight back against you, that I decided to back out after you and Steven offered to fix my eye." Volleyball then began to sob as she rushed out of the witness's stand and into Pearl's arms. "Please forgive me, I just didn't know any better!"

"It's okay VB, I'm here." Pearl comforted her crying fellow ex-servant. "Just let it all out."

"Wah wah wah, I betrayed your trust!" Cat's Eye mockingly cried. "Please forgive me even though I was allied with a proud sociopath! Oh brother, this era has lost all sense of justice. At least give her a week's punishment, anything."

"Big talk coming from the alleycat who doesn't have a single clue about justice." Pearl growled at Cat while Volleyball's tears started drying and she returned to the jury.

"Big talk coming from a Pearl who wanted to be free despite still essentially serving her Diamond." Cat snapped back at the Pearl. "And on that note, I feel we are ignoring the big Jasper in the room." Biggs Jasper raised her hand. "I wasn't talking to you!" Biggs lowered her hand while Cat kept a stiff upper lip. "But really, I wish to speak of a certain Jasper that has been housed on Earth lately."

"Here we go." Lapis rolled her eyes at whatever outlandish claims the defendant was going to make now.

"You see, the Jasper is just as much of a victim of Pink Diamond's faked death as pretty much everyone on this planet." Cat's Eye proclaimed. "And did the Crystal Gems ever try to extend a hand in friendship and sympathy? NO! They just let her get dragged to the bottom of the ocean in an unstable fusion, fall into an earthquake, rocketed sky-high by that Lapis, and later corrupted! That does-"

"Not make sense, we get it." Garnet interrupted what was essentially Cat's catchphrase at this point. "We tried so many times to help Jasper, but she just kept refusing out of her vendetta against Rose."

"And doesn't anyone find it ironic that Jasper has a burning hatred for a Gem that was her Diamond in disguise?" Cat shook her head with a cheeky smile. "Oh, how cruel fate can be."

"Good grief, how long can this puddytat keep yapping?" Amethyst whispered to Pearl, who just groaned and got back to her book.

As for Steven, Priyanka had gotten to work on examining her unusual patient. However, with each test she made him take, things just kept going wrong. Sticking a tongue depressor in Steven's mouth made him glow pink for the second time this appointment, taking his height stretched his neck up high, and testing his reflexes bubbled the hammer she was using. But it was taking Steven's X-rays that really clued Priyanka in on what was going on.

"So this is an average human skeleton." Priyanka demonstrated the X-ray image of exactly that to Steven before moving on to X-rays of the Crystal Gems. "By comparison, these are X-ray images that the Crystal Gems allowed me to take for research purposes. Their charts look like this."

Due to Gems having bodies of light, only their gemstones could be pictured. And in Amethyst's case, whatever she ate that day could be seen too. The doctor then showed off Steven's own skeleton, which was covered in cracks. "And this is your chart." Priyanka continued. "Definitely the skeleton of a human your age, albeit quite a large amount of fractures in the skull." She pointed out the various cracks that decorated Steven's skull. "Yet despite the injuries, everything is still perfectly aligned. Almost like the injuries healed just as fast as they were gained."

"That's good, right?" Steven nervously asked.

"Well, you've made miraculous recoveries," Priyanka replied. "but that doesn't change the fact that you've clearly been traumatized. You may have recovered physically, but what about mentally?"

"Are you saying there's something wrong with my brain?!" Steven cried as he glowed pink.

"Not wrong!" Priyanka assured Steven while kneeling to his gaze, turning his body back to its normal hue. "It's that adverse childhood experiences, or childhood trauma, can leave a lasting impact on how your body reacts to stress." She explained. "This can affect all kinds of development, social, emotional, and physical. When humans are in crisis, their brains release a hormone called cortisol. It can cause your heart to race, your muscles to tense, among other effects. I wonder if your body is perhaps reacting to the Gem equivalent of cortisol, if any. Steven, can you recall any childhood experiences that particularly stuck with you?"

"I can list so many." Steven stated before he began recounting some traumatic experiences. "It all started when I learned my favorite ice cream was discontinued around the same time I nearly got eaten by a bug monster. Then there were even more monsters that threatened my life, I got stuck in a bubble & nearly drowned, I made a new friend who nearly killed me; which is pretty often, I got turned into a giant pulsating blob of cat heads after an attempt at shapeshifting, got so old I nearly died, saw the Gems die multiple times, I woke up on a spaceship with a black eye, and more recently got tossed off a cliff."

"Steven, this is serious!" Priyanka yelled worriedly.

"That was only some of the earlier stuff!" Steven cried. "You really should've been there when I was tossed off the cliff. Black Rutile was a sociopath and proud of it!"

"I think all these experiences have subjected your body to an almost inhuman level of stress, and it's affected your ability to healthily react to new forms of stress." Priyanka deduced as Steven looked back on more harrowing experiences he's been through, from legitimately traumatizing moments to parts that would at first be seen as mere jokes or accidents. "You've been dealing with genuine threats to your life from such a young age, whether big or small, your body is responding to such minuscule threats like your life is always in danger!"

"But, why am I only swelling up now?!" Steven began fretting as he slowly felt his body change once more.

"Stress can be far less harmful when we have a circle of loved ones who can help you," Priyanka advised, causing Steven to flashback to yesterday evening's failed proposal. "Maybe if you've been drifting away from people who would've supported you, or if a recent experience had felt particularly off-"

Before Priyanka can finish, Steven began trembling in place while bolting from his chair before he began to swell up to possibly the biggest size he's ever been today, to the point of cracking the ceiling with a bash of his head.

"There are just some who don't want to be helped, and we try to respect that!" Pearl kept arguing with Cat's Eye while everyone else in the courtroom awkwardly spectating the event.

"And there are also some who you've forced to change without their consent!" Cat's Eye replied, baring her sharp teeth at the former servant. "Think of it, Black Rutile believed she could be a better ruler because she would take into account the feelings of everyone!"

"Are you sure you're not another one of her spies?!" Pearl asked, folding her arms and turning away from the defendant.

"I couldn't care less about what she's doing, I just think she raises many good points for a maniac!" Cat answered while her stuck-up image began cracking apart more and more, slowly revealing the petulant aristocrat underneath. "For example, in ending an oppressive empire, Steven created an even worse one where all who don't agree with him are deemed outcasts!"

"Steven is simply trying his best!" Pearl yelled back.

"You know, I am so glad that we invited our Homeschool classes, because this is way too much fun for just us three to get involved in." Amethyst whispered to the other Little Homeworld teachers.

"You're right, watching an uppercrust get humiliated puts a real big smile on my face." Bismuth grinned.

"They've been going on for too long." Morganite mumbled as her face was buried in the table. "Can't we just shut them up and reach a verdict already?"

"Well, if you're so loving towards Steven, then where is he now?" Cat's Eye asked one final question. "Did you actually care for him to begin with?"

"That is where you are absolutely wrong Cat." Pearl declared with a smug grin as she presented George Ikari's book to her opponent. "Steven is currently going through some tough times, and we're trying our best to help him thanks to this book from Earth. The author has a son much like Steven who lost his mother too, so he knows what he's talking about." With that, Pearl returned the book to her gem and took a bow. "Court adjourned."

It was here where Cat's Eye finally lost all control and lunged at Pearl with a mighty yowl. Gone was the smug and austere wannabe lawyer, and in with the furious predator going in for the kill.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" Cat's Eye shrieked as she wrestled with Pearl and kept trying to chomp at her face. "I AM CAT'S EYE, AND I WILL NOT BE TALKED DOWN TO BY A MERE PEARL!"

"Woo, catfight!" Amethyst cheered before Garnet put a stop to her revelry and prepared for a fight.

"Get ready Gems, we're in for a fight." Garnet declared while summoning her gauntlets, and the other Gems prepared for battle against the feral defendant. But fortunately for them, and unfortunately for Cat, the judge finally decided enough was enough.

"Okay, I've had enough sitting down and watching." Yellow declared fiercely before getting up from her throne and flicking a ball of electricity at Cat's Eye, making yellow lines course through her body and finally poofing her, leaving only her small gemstone to be collected by Yellow Pearl. "Now that that's settled, have we reached a verdict?"

"I believe so." Pearl responded after getting up and dusting herself off before turning to the other Gems. "What shall be decided?"

The Gems in the jury all rose up, their decision clear as day. "We, the jury, hereby declare Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, and Navy guilty as charged. In addition, Cat's Eye shall be tried for public assault of the prosecutors." Squaridot announced on the behalf of her classmates, to the horror of Holly Blue as she and her two compatriots were escorted away by Amethysts. While Morganite and Navy had resigned themselves to their fates, Holly was far less than pleased. In fact, she was furious.

"Get your hands off me, you no-good Kindergarten spawn!" Holly Blue shrieked at the Amethysts dragging her away by the arms before turning to the Crystal Gems with hatred in her eyes. "I hope you're happy Crystal Gems! Era 3 has destroyed this planet!" she yelled at the Gems. "Pretty soon, this planet is going to burn! We're all going to die! The Gem race shall be driven to extinction all because of you!"

As soon as Holly Blue was fully removed from the premises, all was finally quiet in the makeshift courtroom as the trial adjourned. Pearl let out a dramatic sigh as Garnet and Amethyst helped her back to her feet and walked her back to the prosecutor's table.

"Court is usually a lot more funny on TV." Amethyst remarked. "What Cat and Holly tried to do was just sad."

"Still, what if they're right?" Pearl moaned in exhaustion and grief. "What if we are soon to be our kind's downfall? Maybe we should've just ended colonization and left it at that."

"Don't get too down on yourself Miss Pearl." Blue Zircon lent some comforting words to Pearl. "You all tried the best you could, and that's all that should matter."

"Uh, can I go now?" Yellow Zircon shakily inquired to her fellow Gems, still reeling from being publically humiliated at the witness's stand.

"Yeah, you're dismissed." Blue Zircon told her fellow Zircon and turned back to Pearl.

"Yeah, we tried our best with Era 3, kinda like how we're trying our best with Steven." Lapis reiterated the other blue Gem's kind words. "Speaking of which, wonder how he's doing?"

"I'll go call him right now!" Pearl stated eagerly as she unsheathed her phone from her gem and began dialing Steven, but she got no answer. "Darn, no signal on Homeworld." She huffed in frustration. "Well, I hope he's doing fine."

Little did Pearl know, there was more than one reason why as to why Steven was unable to reach her, that reason being he was so stressed out, he was swelling up to a massive size.

As Dr. Laurie walked past the office Steven was in with a cup of coffee, he took one look at the giant pink boy, then back at his mug before dumping its contents into a nearby drinking fountain while Connie raced back to the office to aid her friend.

"Mom, what's happening?!" Connie asked her mother while they watched the inflating Steven fill up most of the doctor's office.

"I'm not sure dear, I just asked if he had any stressful experiences lately." Priyanka answered, trying to remain as calm in a crisis as possible while other doctors huddle around the window to watch what was happening, along with a man in sunglasses who seemed to blend in with the crowd.

"Steven, you don't think?" Connie then asked Steven.

"It's not you Connie, it's everything that's been going down lately!" Steven yelled as he grew larger and larger with every second.

"What is he talking about?" Priyanka asked, glaring at Connie.

"You haven't told your mom yet?!" Steven yelled.

"Told me what?!" Priyanka started yelling as well.

"It's not your fault Connie!" Steven tried to assure Connie amidst his growing stress. "But I still think you need to leave!"

"I refuse to leave your side!" Connie's mom fiercely declared. "This is a medical emergency!"

"Hey, you know one of us can take over!" one of the doctors watching Steven called from outside.

"No, he needs to be alone!" Connie stated. "I think anyone else being in here with him is making things worse!"

When Steven's height increased to the point of ripping his hospital gown, breaking the ceiling over him, and causing alarms to sound, the doctors took it as their cue to leave. "Point taken." That same doctor who suggested one of them take care of Steven realized before rushing away.

"Oh no!" Steven was in full-on panic mode now. If he grew any larger, the hospital would surely be destroyed. "Please, just go!"

"Steven!" Connie yelled sorrowfully.

"I just…" Steven began to cry before starting to get angry. "I CAN'T BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!" The Maheswarans braced for impact as Steven's screaming broke the window behind them when suddenly, Greg came barging into the office.

"Steven!" Greg called his son's name while Connie and Priyanka turned to notice him.

"Dad?!" Steven exclaimed while finally beginning to settle down at the sight of his father.

"I'm here for you kiddo!" Greg declared as he ran up to his giant son, turning to the Maheswarans who took it as their cue to leave the area as well.

"Come on Mom, let's give them some space." Connie said to her mother as they abdicated the office.

"Alright." Priyanka agreed and took her daughter's hand while Greg took Steven's side.

"How did you know I was here?" Steven asked Greg.

"Connie called me an hour ago." Greg answered comfortingly. "Plus, I was the only one she could reach since she told me the Gems were off in space today."

"Connie?" Steven called for his friend when she and her mother were outside. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Connie beamed and spoke to him through the broken window. "I'll come when you're ready."

"I'm so sorry Steven." Greg apologized to Steven. "If I had known, I definitely would've been a big help."

"It's alright Dad," Steven sighed. "you were super busy and I didn't know what was going on."

"Come on Steven, talk to me," Greg suggested. "Just you and me, father to son."

"I, well, um," Steven stammered before tears began welling up in his eyes again. "I tried proposing to Connie!"

"You what?!" Greg yelped in alarm. "Steven, aren't you a little too young to think about marriage right now?"

"I know." Steven kept on crying. "That's one of the reasons why she said no."

"Oh, Steven." Greg sighed.

"My body, it keeps reacting like it's always the end of the world." Steven kept on complaining tearfully. "I think I've nearly witnessed the end of the world so many times now, that everything that goes wrong for me just feels that extreme! I should be feeling happy these days, Earth is at peace and it's Era 3, but Black Rutile is still out there saying I'm a bad person and I'm swelling up over all these third-era problems! What do I do now?! How do I move on after every horrible thing that's happened to me?! How can I still live my life when every day it feels like I'm going to die?!"

Despite Steven being overcome with trauma to the point of sobbing, Greg was there to lend a hand like he always did. "It's going to be alright Schtu-ball." He said while holding his son's giant finger. "I'm here for you till the end of the line."

At long last, Steven finally calmed down and began to regress to his normal size, and he only had one request for Greg. "I just want to go home."

"You bet." Greg obliged, and Steven began to fetch his clothes while Connie and Priyanka stepped back into the office. "So, what's up doc?"

"This has certainly been an eventful appointment," Priyanka stated shakily. "Real eye-opener. As I'm sure your son has already told you, he has been through more stress than is normal for a human. I suggest finding ways to monitor these breakdowns."

"I'll see what I can do." Greg nodded while Steven returned to his side fully dressed when Connie gave Steven a big hug.

Outside the office, the doctor in the sunglasses from earlier peeked from behind a corner and spoke into an earpiece. "Giant boy crisis averted." He spoke in a deep voice to someone on the other end. "Yes sir, retrieving copies of the Gems' X-ray scans as we speak." Looking around to see if anyone had caught him, the man then took off his doctor's coat to reveal a black suit underneath and walked away with no one the wiser.

That night, Steven had been returned home and taken to bed, where Greg had prepared him a warm cup of tea and a sympathetic ear to his son's plight.

"I guess I thought I could follow Connie to college." Steven explained to his dad while sipping the tea. "Like, if we got married, I'd know what to do with myself for once. But turns out I still gotta figure everything out on my own."

"Cut yourself some slack, kiddo." Greg smiled earnestly. "It's okay to be worried and make mistakes when figuring out what to do with life, nothing unusual. Okay, maybe turning pink and the swelling is kind of unusual, but I'm sure the Gems will know what to do. And if you want to be a giant boy, I can lend you the carwash to take a shower in."

"Yeah, that's the thing." Steven revealed calmly. "I haven't told the Gems everything yet because I don't want them to worry so much, just like the old days when I was just some little kid who was way over his head." That was when he made a realization and spat out his tea. "Wait Dad, your tour!"

"Don't worry about me." Greg assured his son. "Shep and Sadie will be fine on their own. Just get some rest Steven; you can't just solve every problem in one night. Speaking of the Gems, where are they?"

Just then, the father and son heard the Warp Pad activate from Steven's conservatory, and the Crystal Gems marched into his room utterly exhausted from the trial they had just returned from.

"If I meet another Gem like Cat's Eye ever again, I swear I'm going to freak!" Pearl yelled with her hands buried in her face when she noticed Steven and Greg in the same room. "Oh, good evening you two. How was your day?"

"Nothing really special you guys." Steven fibbed. "Nothing at all."

So ends Growing Pains. Have to say, this might be one of the longest chapters of Alternate Universe yet, probably because of the B-plot. How hateable did you think I made Cat's Eye? I specifically wrote her with Cruella de Vil and Franziska von Karma in mind. And speaking of despicable characters, next chapter has Steven facing quite possibly his greatest challenge yet: making Kevin a better person. Oh, this should be fun.

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #garnet #amethyst #pearl #connie maheswaran #priyanka maheswaran #greg universe #lapis lazuli #peridot #bismuth #holly blue agate #morganite #navy #yellow diamond

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andromeda612 · 4 years

Text

Another exposed Lila prompt

Lila outed herself by telling the wrong lie, to the wrong people in front of the wrong witnesses

Before Ladybug (in this timeline the episode never happens) Adrien is in a photo-shoot just because. And if you saw some of my posts you can say that I’m very in love with Marcaniel, so of course I have to put my OTP somehow here.

-So Lila is a narcissist so is obvious she doesn't pay much attention to anything but herself, unless is for her favor (like what would be interesting for her classmates, or if they are being fooled by her) but is not like she makes her research (the Jagged’s kitten for kwami sake), so of curse she knows Nathaniel makes a very famous comic book about Paris heroes with the help of a black haired boy, Marc was his name if she can remember of every time someone talks about them or their stupid comic (ugh is annoying) but she doesn't know that the pretty same boys have a blog named "Creations" but different from their comic in which they sign with their real names, in the blog they use a pseudonym (Pen Magician for Nath and Arc-en-ciel for Marc) despite that everybody that is fan of their comic knows about this 'cause they told this in one of their comics when they first created the blog. (And both their classes know because every one of their friends and classmates read their comic)

The blog is for their original creations, other fanfiction and for commissions (of art, comics, or stories) and a way to interact with their fans. They were already very famous for the comic but the blog is threefold successful, Marc' stories are awesome and Nath's draws too, let's not talk about their combined projects. Also they have lots of commissions, and the fans are very happy to interact a little more with their favorites comic creators. They also caught the attention of people like Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale (Marinette may or may not had talked about the comic or the blog with them, but once they saw it they loved it) so they are very popular ;)

-So obviously Lila can't help but want to lie about knowing the creators (their official name when talked about both of them) she would be so famous! Maybe she can get Alya to interview her again, the journalist is also a fan.

-So she does, one morning to the art gang (the more excited about the blog) and in front of the rest of the class (who also like said blog), and backfires horrible since every time she talks she just dig her grave even more, like she says that Arc-en-ciel is a cute girl (because is obvious Nathaniel has something for the writer so saying that she could totally set them up would win her some points).

-But is common knowledge that Marc, sweet and patient Marc, HATES when people thinks he is a girl. He is aware of his androgynous factions, but is how he was born is not his fault and he is a boy damn it! Is of the few things that can make him really angry.

-Is also common knowledge that the only thing worse than telling Marc he is a girl, is telling that Marc is a girl in front of his PROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND NATHANIEL, his equally protective best friend Alix, and his too protective cousin Marinette (is a luck that she is late, because otherwise Lila would be in even more trouble).

First red blag

-And everybody knows the comic duo have been dating for MONTHS, they aren’t even subtle about it! Whoever seems them can see how much in love with each other they are! (Is too cute that is almost painful, even Alix cooed at them even if she denies it later)

Second red flag

-Also she would say that Pen Magician is a cool Lycee boy, maybe Arc-en-ciel’s old brother, and that he is totally infatuated with her. (Because an older boy interested in her? Adrien would be so jealous!)

Another red flag

-Nathaniel is their classmate and again he is dating Marc.

And the class is in shock because Lila is lying in their faces! HOLLY SHIT! Marinette was right!! If she is lying about this, what else was a lie?

And then she makes a comment that snap some of them out of their shock (the art gang)

-She says that she is the illustrator’s muse and she actually helped the writer with several of “her” stories, she also came up with the plot of their most popular comics! She actually was the one to encourage them to create the blog in the first place. She even help to make it.

-NOP, they all (the art gang) know that Marc and Nathaniel work TOGETHER and ALONE, if someone gives them an idea they would ask to use it and give credits. They know how much effort and love Marc puts in his stories and Nathaniel in his drawings, they also know the double love and effort they put in their combined projects, the care, passion, the joy and all the hard work they put in their comics and blog to be where they are. And Lila is taking the credit of that!

-They also know that it was their editor who came up with the idea of the blog, and were Alya and Max the ones who help them to create it.

The final flag

-Finally the rest of the class finish to process the shock and confront her. Lila doesn’t know what went wrong. She tried to lie her way out of this but to no avail, nobody believes her anymore, and there is no sympathy, just angry glares and disgust.

-When Marinette finally shows up is to see her classmate staring at their phones, some are frowning, Rose is at the edge of tears, Alix looks ready to hit someone, Nathaniel is sitting with Ivan and Lila is alone and fuming in her seat.

-When the class acknowledge her presence they immediately jump from their seats and apologize to her, for not listened to her and for being harsh to her for a liar.

-She forgives them, after all they were good friends, after Chameleon they never treat her bad and everybody makes mistakes, is not a crime to be fooled and manipulated.

-She ask them how they find out though.

-“Oh, she just told the wrong lie, to the wrong people in front of the wrong witnesses”

And just to know, Lila knows that somehow she was exposed but she can’t tell why she just know it has to do with that damn blog! And the stupid creators, the class won’t tell her anything. “Let the liar make her research for once”

Bonus: since Lila is exposed they eventually find out about her truancy, and she is punished. Also since Adrien still doesn’t know the extent of Lila’s danger is the class who explain him that his high road in real life is actually an awful advice, after he finds out what happened, the class also finds out that he knew, they confront him about it and when he explains his motives they understand that the boy didn’t knew better (Gabriel’s fault probably) and maybe Nino and Alya explain him the reality of the situation, he understands and apologize to Marinette for his bad advice.

Now, you can change the lies she tells about the creators or the blog, you can actually change the thing she lies about, I have this same idea, but instead of lying about the blog she lies about knowing Marc, and the art gang already knows she is a liar. You can add some salt if you want. I don’t know if this count like salt, because she is exposed but since this is before Ladybug she didn't do anything too bad... yet. And as I say in one post before, when I’m writing salt/bashing is focused just in Lila, but is up to you if you want to be more salty.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous exposing fanfic #lila is exposed #lila rossi #nathaniel kurtzberg #marcaniel #nathaniel x marc #alix kubdel #rose lavillant #juleka couffaine #art gang #lila makes a mistake #class sugar #prompt #exposing lila prompt #the class are good kids #they just made some mistakes #lila not #she is bad

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theyearoftheking · 3 years

Text

Book Seventy-Seven: The Outsider

“A person did what a person could, whether it was setting up gravestones or trying to convince twenty-first-century men and women that there were monsters in the world, and their greatest advantage was the unwillingness of rational people to believe.”

I’ve written about how Diane Downs really popped my true crime cherry. She taught me monsters aren’t just in Stephen King or Dean Koontz books; sometimes monsters are real and they walk among us looking like normal moms who like Duran Duran songs.

My true crime fascination was dormant until the Serial podcast premiered. At the time, I joked with a friend that listening to Serial made almost any job bearable. I listened to it while shoveling snow, cleaning my bathroom, driving ninety minutes to work... it consumed me. One afternoon I was listening to an episode, driving home and my daughter was asleep in the backseat. I pulled into my parking spot with ten minutes left to listen. When I finished the episode and turned the car off, I heard a tiny voice say, “Well? What about the cell phone towers?” My daughter was six at the time, and I’m pretty sure this was how she became true-crime obsessed as well. As I’m typing this, she’s upstairs listening to episodes of the Crime Junkie Podcast. I have no regrets. I have done my job as her mother.

But, I digress. The first episode of Serial dealt with alibis, and remembering the timelines of our lives. If you didn’t have your phone next to you, could you tell me where you were two weeks ago on Tuesday? Who were you with? What did you do that could potentially provide you with an alibi in case you were accused of a crime? After listening to this first episode, I became obsessed with the idea of an alibi at all times.

And that brings us to The Outsider.

Beloved Flint City little league coach Terry Maitland is publicly arrested and charged with the brutal murder and sodomy of little Frank Peterson. When the Flint City police arrest Terry at his team’s final game; they have eyewitnesses placing him at the crime scene, and his fingerprints. They’re also confident his DNA will be a match. Pretty open and shut, right?

Not so much.

Terry lawyers up, and presents the police with an airtight alibi: he was at a conference, and was even caught on-camera asking Harlan Coben a question. His fingerprints were even discovered at a shop he had stopped in while at the conference. It would have been impossible for him to commit the crime in the timeframe the police create.

There has to be a logical explanation, right?

Skinwalkers.

Boom.

The book is divided into two parts: the first half being the mystery behind Terry being in two places at one time. The second half, fan favorite Holly Gibney shows up, and helps track down and kill the skinwalker responsible for the murders of Frank Peterson, and other little children.

The book is excellent.

However.

We have another Dahmer situation on our hands. Constant Readers remember my review of Everything’s Eventual, when I ripped into Steve for talking about Jeffrey Dahmer’s grave. #neverforget This time, Steve writes, “Hadn’t Jeffrey Dahmer believed he was creating zombies when he killed all those homeless men?”

Dahmer’s victims were not homeless. Yes, they were on the fringe of society, and they were people whose disappearances were seldom investigated by police: immigrants, homosexuals, hitchhikers... but not all homeless.

I’d like to issue an open invitation to Steve to come to Milwaukee and talk to me (socially distanced) about Dahmer. I’d really like to see him prevent these gaffes in the future. We could even take The Cream City Cannibal walking tour, and I’ll even spring for a Dahmer jersey (number 17, of course).

Other than the Dahmer issue, this was a solid book where the good guys are successful, and Holly is back to kick more ass. We have two Dark Tower references (ka, and the world moving on); and one Wisconsin mention... which I will stop griping about now.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 48

Total Dark Tower References: 73

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Doctor Sleep: A+

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Mr. Mercedes: A+

End of Watch: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

The Outsider: A+

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Finders Keepers: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Institute: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Hard Listening: B+

Revival: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Joyland: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Sleeping Beauties: B-

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers D

Next up is Elevation, which... sigh. The best thing I can say about the book is that it’s short.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

#the outsider #stephen king #constant reader #the dark tower #holly gibney #jeffrey dahmer #milwaukee #serialpodcast #diane downs #crime junkie podcast

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Halfway Home - Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader (The Outsider)

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: I think this gif set really cemented this fic as something I was gonna do. This one is the closest thing I will write to Show!Canon, although I’ve borrowed a couple of Shifter ‘Tells’ from the book.

I thought this was going to be really short, but in the end I’m glad I wrote it like this, instead of the way I had planned And I really really hope you all enjoy it 💙💜

Also the lyrics to this song are PERFECT Halfway Home - Carly Pearce

Disclaimer: Characters & Plot are Stephen King’s (or... Richard Price’s characterization...) / Lyrics not mine (and lyrical liberties taken) / gifs not mine - credit as appropriate. / Direct quotes used from Episode 10 - so, spoilers ahead!

Premise: This was never a problem in a million years you’d expect to have to face. And in all the lifetimes you’d lived you never had faced it. But now the Frankie Peterson case is over Ralph is aware your species exists, and that discovery may well rip you both apart...

Words: 8729

Warnings: Swearing / The Outsider show spoilers ⚠ Angst/Hurt Caution Warning ⚠

____________

Blame it on me, I'm an actor, I'm a fake Blame it on me, I broke your heart but by mistake Call it what you wanna, good intentions or denial But if I'm bein' honest, I've been lyin' for a while Halfway right doesn't make it right Halfway wrong is still wrong Half of me is with you here tonight And half of me is long gone But halfway to Heaven isn't Heaven And halfway home just ain't home

And I put it off, I was selfish, I was scared I put it off and I know it isn't fair You don’t want to stay, but you don’t want to say goodbye Let's call it what it is and we'll get out of this alive And I'm sorry If I hang onto you, I'll drown I'm so sorry If I don't let go, I'm goin' down Halfway right doesn't make it right Halfway wrong is still wrong Half of me didn't see it comin' Half of me knew it all along... ---

[Holly] “Are there more of you?”

[The Outsider] “Why? Have you seen someone like me before? Are there others? Cause there have been times when I sensed there could be more...” ***

You stood in the sliding glass doorway, looking out over the back yard, everything about your senses was heightened - it was like you could even hear the grass move. You knew there were others out there - heck, you were old enough to have walked amongst your own kind before you became an ancient relic left to history and ghost stories. A time when you were gods amongst men, until men rose up.

But here? In Cherokee City, Georgia? It didn’t make a lot of sense to you. Not for there to be another. You knew why you were here. Tired of running, tired of tracking, tired of being everything your species condemned you to be - you wished only for a quiet, peaceful existence. And you had one now; Detective Ralph Anderson saw to that in every way he could. And to him you were a normal human being, that lived their life out just as accordingly. All your weird little ticks were exactly that... because every human had exactly the same – a long list of ticks and traits that made them the person they were.

The problem was this shapeshifter wasn’t doing what you were doing. You’d sensed it before the Frankie Peterson murder, but as soon as Ralph came home from that case you knew something was wrong. Something was different this time. And he explained in lengthy detail the crime scene, and the DNA. That alerted you. No criminal left their DNA just lying around, but you could be so careless. Because everyone would suspect the person you had shifted into, not you. You could just as quick become someone else and be well on your way... to do exactly the same somewhere else. So long as everything added up. So long as the person who you had replicated got caught and the evidence was water tight.... and they had no alibi.

Well that was easy once, before DNA testing came into play. And then it took humans a little while to get that up to scratch, and DNA was your whole game. Witness accounts could be sketchy, but as long as your kind could produce enough, and better, witness accounts to the contrary you could get away with it. Their word against... well, something you’d fabricated.

The problem was, the victims of this was both a child and a man, named Terry Maitland, who didn’t deserve what had happened. Of course, really no one deserved it - but a man who was a teacher and had seeming never done anything bad in his life was not a man that deserved this. And to you, the child was unforgivable, it wasn’t uncommon amongst your kind to eat people – even now – but children? That was wicked and cruel – which may have explained the malice in the air. Not just the feel of it, but the feeling it was stirring up within the town. Drunk on pain and suffering. That made you hold on to Ralph and his love a little tighter – because an emotion like that was far more sustainable. And you weren’t about to let yourself go down the same path that this one clearly had.

But you were selfish and worried, and all you wanted was for this to go away, be buried, and you could go on living your quiet little life. If Terry went to prison, and your counterpart moved on, it would just be something unforgivably terrible that happened here. Even when you knew the repercussions of that... but you didn’t care so much about that so long as your identity was hidden.

Ralph had every single confidence that they both had the guy, and that the evidence was so good that Terry was going away whether he denied it or not. And Ralph’s confidence bled into you, which was a bad thing, of course and you let yourself get comfortable and cocky about it. Sure, you could absolutely tell him - and that made your conscience weigh heavily on you - but he’d say you were insane... You could show him, but how would that hold up in court? And what would it do to you, and the life you had worked so hard to build here.

Then it all hit you; because Terry Maitland was at a conference in Cap City, and he was on video tape. That wasn’t something that even the best evidence could save a shapeshifter from. How did you combat that? Stupid and careless - that’s what your counterpart was. And a child, to get so confident as to display itself so openly. You did, but that had taken many years of good practice, and you didn’t go around killing and eating children.

The other problem was it didn’t go away. And as the Peterson family fell one by one, and so did Terry at his arraignment, it stuck around. New to the game, maybe? But if it couldn’t sense you then it was young, and if it could but was looking to encroach on your territory, then it had another thing coming. The crude monster drawings you’d seen of your race weren’t far off an accurate depiction of your true form. You hadn’t had use for claws and needle like teeth in a long time - but you would surely use them if you had to. And to protect everything you knew, and everyone you loved here? Without question.

***

But just as suddenly it was gone. The tension that loomed over you dissipated. The case however, did not. And before you knew it Private Investigator Holly Gibney was in town. You had an uneasy feeling about this, and when Ralph asked if you were going to accompany him to the meeting you flat out refused. You didn’t know what she knew, what if she took one look at you and shattered your world into pieces? You couldn’t risk it. And perhaps it was better you didn’t go, because when he got home, Holly in tow, Ralph was beside himself.

When you’d gotten him to quiet down about what a waste of time it was - and stop being so rude, with her in the house - you asked him what was up. When Ralph rolled his eyes and refused to do anything but mute it, you gently coaxed it out of Holly yourself. And although a lot of her ideas were misconceptions, she had it right. “El Cuco”: a mishmash manifestation of stories and rumours carried on for centuries about your species. Not all shapeshifters were the same, and this new one was not the same strain as you. But close enough. You didn’t think telling Holly that you believed her held too much consequence aside from trying to get Ralph on side and to believe something. Even when he still scoffed and called you crazy too. You had some effect though, because lying together that night, with the quiet of the darkness that surrounded you – Ralph asked if you really did believe her – you could only answer that you really did, and it took him a little longer to dismiss it with a soft hmph!

But then they all went out to Tennessee and you were left behind. And you didn’t see what Ralph saw, or hear what he heard... or say what he said. And he came back to you with far more in his head than he’d ever wanted. And whenever you asked him about it he simply told you you wouldn’t believe him, and Holly gave you a similar story. Even when you tried the prompt of so it’s all true-!? Ralph clearly wanted to forget something he probably never could, and certainly didn’t want to talk about it. Holly left soon afterwards – with Ralph’s gentle smile and wish to work together again, sometime. Though of course he hoped on something less Supernatural. That evening you sat together on the couch in silence – your head resting on his chest. Maybe it was all over now? Terry Maitland would get completely pardoned in Hayes’ press conference, and you very much doubted that the other shifter got out of the situation alive. Though you were also aware there were many others that didn’t make it out of there also. Ralph had told you that much, but didn’t elaborate on anything else. And you’d just as soon help him forget, it to blow over, and you and he to go back to your quiet small city life. *** It didn’t. Because Ralph couldn’t get it off his mind. Sure he didn’t want to talk about it actively. He could barely wrap his head around it – around what he’d witnessed, around the idea that there were things out there beyond the explanation of science. Of everything he’d ever known. He might have asked Holly out of curiosity what else was out there, and watched her shrug with a smile… but did he want to find out? Did he even want to entertain the idea that this was anything other than a nightmare? Of course he didn’t. But part of him realised he had to. Having been cleared to go back to work Ralph was at least glad of something to put his mind to. But he was also worried – and dare he say it even scared? What if the things out there were perpetually WORSE than what he’d been through. He could handle himself, always had. But what if those things came for you? Ralph couldn’t handle the notion of that, but what if it happened? He’d never forgive himself if something happened to you – whether you be the one that was transformed into or… no, he couldn’t bare to even think of you as the body. He was glad you didn’t have children, together or your own – dare he even say relieved that you couldn’t have them. Because that was just another thing to worry about – and those were mounting on Ralph pretty quickly. And now he watched you so closely; he knew it might end eventually but how couldn’t he get paranoid? Scratches always came with questions, and you always gave him that little look of annoyance - Ralph, I just scratched myself. If someone did it to me after what Holly said, I’d come to you – you KNOW that! - and he also just as closely monitored the back of your neck. But you knew exactly why – and you let him do what he needed to do to get over this, because you knew you couldn’t become a victim of your own species. Not in the ways he was thinking anyway. The problem was everything coincided at just the wrong time. The shifter that Ralph had dealt with was clearly a great deal younger than you. A strain that shifted by shedding skin like a reptile, should have been easy and over in a few minutes for one as old as you. Like taking off a jacket and leaving it on the bleachers on a Friday night. But it took this one a month or so to change from one person to another, during which the composition of one victim broke down as he prepared to shed. Something very similar happened to you. A human form was not your true form – however the human form you chose was not someone whose DNA you had acquired. Each one of you could present human as necessary to blend in – but you weren’t meant to sustain it for more than a few months at a time. And, like he had, you would break down. It’d last for nearly 3 days total, but you would feel extremely uncomfortable in your own skin until your body was ready to regenerate itself. Technically you could shift at any point, but it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do under the watchful eyes – and even more so now – of a Cherokee City detective who was suddenly aware of the existence of your kind. It'd take an hour of quietly sitting alone in the midst of the woods with no one around, and then you could go back to being you again, but it was a long hour. And you made the mistake of choosing the park where the Peterson murder had happened. But it was oddly cathartic to sit in the middle of all that and contemplate. To cry, and feel that sorrow like a strange shot of adrenaline; to beg for the forgiveness of your kind for doing something so goddamn awful. And one lunchbreak later you’d step out of the trees and brush yourself down, shiny and new, and no one would know any different. It took about a day to really set back again, but even the most observant of humans wouldn’t be observant enough to know that your face probably looked a little off – it would be something so insignificant they couldn’t place.

You’d probably never been more wrong about anything in your life. You’d been with the same man for four years; and he was a detective. He’d never noticed anything before, but he’d never seen one of you before Tennessee. And the one he had seen, had made many mistakes. *** For four days Ralph Anderson had witnessed things in you he wanted to believe might have been figments of his imagination. Like his paranoia was making him see these things and they were tricks of the light. He thought he might be able to deal with it once or twice and write it off, but when the fourth day came and it was still happening, his suspicions had never been more heightened. Your eyes were the one thing you couldn’t control. You didn’t leave that odd gooey residue because you didn’t shift the same way he had – yours was more of a ‘shimmer’ from one person to the next and that meant you didn’t really leave much trace. Your skin might have felt odd, but that was only to you – and you could shake off feeling uncomfortable as anything: that time of the month… or just an uneasiness about the world right now (and he’d understand that with the Terry Maitland case still fresh!). But your eyes in light – that was a hard one; they flickered usually when you got emotional but you could control that. An odd silver sheen that would come and go and could be down to any number of tricks, including ones people’s brains played on themselves, but that wasn’t what this was. Ralph had seen that shine before. And it was too much of a strange coincidence for it to mean anything else. That shine wasn’t a reflection in your eyes, but something that seemed to come from within them. And he’d seen that in ‘Claudes’ eyes in the cave. And now in you for four consecutive days. Straws for eyes. Too many people had given that description, every nightmare Maitland’s daughter had had mentioned that. And it was odd to see in that cave – but it was horrific to see in you. It came and went but it was there. And every fibre in Ralph’s being tried to deny that. Surely you weren’t one of those things? How could that be – he had to be seeing things, he just had to be. He couldn’t accept anything else but that – not you, anything or anyone but you. He’d been with you for four years, he KNEW you. And he loved you. And Ralph didn’t know which was worse. He couldn’t even believe that lying in bed with you now, watching the way you breathed, he could even contemplate that thought. You’d looked like this since he met you – the other shifter didn’t last more than a few weeks, and then took nearly a month to become something else, but you were here. Like this. But was this you-!? Was this a victim of yours? Why the hell was Ralph talking so crazy to himself!? He had to be seeing things; but no matter how many times he told himself that, Ralph Anderson also couldn’t bring himself to believe it to be true. It was like the evidence was staring him in the face and he just didn’t want to acknowledge it. He didn’t want to believe it with Terry either – and that was just as concrete. And he’d been wrong there, he could be wrong here. But that was almost worse. Ralph bit his lip, and was even more horrified to find that the usual gap he maintained with you – of about two inches, close enough to reach out and hold you, to be protective – had now subconsciously widened; he couldn’t have been further across the bed from you if he’d tried. And he wasn’t sure he even wanted to fall asleep next to you – but hell he had done for nearly your whole relationship. He would have to get to the bottom of this and soon… at least he knew that much. And racing around his head were the same questions; What the hell are you? Is that even what you really look like? Is that even your real name? Who ARE you? You had already left for work before he awoke, and you left a sweet little note wishing him a nice day. But it just left him empty. Ralph placed it back on the counter and made himself a coffee. He had to know – but he couldn’t just go rushing into a confrontation with you without being sure. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. And he didn’t know exactly what you were yet, his experience consisted of one shapeshifting entity; you might have been one but you weren’t necessarily the same kind. But he’d killed one of you before – would he hesitate to do the same again? Ralph cursed himself for even thinking that. He could be so wrong about this – but had the uneasy feeling that he wasn’t. *** This continued back and forth for a few days; Ralph Anderson was in denial. And although you could sense something was wrong, he’d been acting odd since he got back from Tennessee and you didn’t blame him for it. You were more inclined to think that was just going to continue. And you would allow him to adjust back to normal at his own pace. If he ever really got back to that – if normal was something Ralph could rebuild for himself after the Frankie Peterson case. You knew life wasn’t yet as it had been before, but you were confident it was going that way. And your gentle sunny disposition wasn’t one you were about to let get dampened. In fact, you were sure Ralph needed it right now. You hummed along to your music as you made yourself breakfast, took a shower and got ready for work, and were still doing so as you reached the front door. Your partner was standing in the kitchen, staring out across the front lawn as you passed him, you paused and turned back. Something was troubling him; “Ralph?” He continued to stare forward. “Ralph? Babe? Ralph!? Sweetheart-!” It took you a little while to rouse him from his thoughts. “Huh-? Oh! I’m sorry.” You titled your head; “You okay, babe?” “…Yeah…” His eyes seemed to look everywhere but your face, “I’m fine, why.” “…You just… seem a little distant lately…” You took a few slow strides towards him, “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” “Okay…” You smiled gently, “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He tried not to obviously wince at the irony, “Of course I do.” “Alright, well, I’m off-! And… I’ll see you later.” “Sure. Have a good day.” You waited, thinking perhaps he would offer you a goodbye kiss, but he didn’t. Something was up. “…And you.” You tried not to sound dejected, and knew you’d clearly failed. “Y/N!” He caught your arm, pulling you back towards him – eyes looking straight into yours and hoping against hope that the next three words out of his mouth sounded genuine right now; “I love you.” Though he’d never lied more. You didn’t see through him, not even slightly. In fact your only thought was that you knew he did. “I love you too.” He let you go, smile still on your face and then watched you turn with a renewed spring in your step and exit the house. As soon as he heard the door slam closed Ralph lifted his hands to his face. He’d used exactly the same trick on you that the other shifter had used to collect everyone else’s DNA – with that yank back on your arm as an excuse. It was just a scratch sure, but it was so much more significant than that. Underneath his thumbnail was just a trace of blood. But it wasn’t red, like his was. It looked a lot more like he’d contemplated a sentence too long and pen ink had leaked, stubbornly burying itself under his nails. Blue-black. He’d seen quite enough of that coming out of the hand he’d stabbed to pin ‘Claude’ down. “Oh. Fuck!” *** Ralph had a hard time of it at work – and even more so when those too inquisitive wondered why he was bringing up the files for Frankie Peterson. He would simply answer that he just wanted to check on a few things, only to have them say ‘Why!? It’s closed!’ Because she’s a monster – was his only thought, and yet he couldn’t vocalise it - I fell in love with a monster. And he stared hard at those images until his vision blurred, not from tiredness – not because his brain had enough and needed to zone, but hot, angry tears. All this time he’d been with something capable of this – how the hell did he even know that you hadn’t done this? He didn’t know what you were doing when you weren’t together – and now Ralph was beginning to think that he didn’t know you at all. Why was this happening to him? Why again? Why in such a short space of time? Because he’d made a mistake with Terry? Now the Universe was just hell bent on destroying everything… You by comparison had a good day at work with your friends and barely noticed anything, not even Ralph’s little nick of your wrist. Although, when a colleague pointed it out you simply laughed – you had a bad habit of being clumsy sometimes and scratches appeared out of nowhere, even when you were careful. And of course, you had to be careful, the only time you bled the same colour as a human was when you shifted into one – and it was probably your one tell. Scratches happened, anything deeper than that and you’d be in trouble. Up until now you’d managed to avoid anything so serious ever happening. When you returned home Ralph was still pondering over notes, not so obvious as to be Frankie’s, and was so out of his head that it was difficult to get a read on him. Your kiss on his cheek did cause him to flinch; “OH! God-!” He placed his hand over his heart, adrenaline immediately spiking “Shit – I’m sorry, I’m just…” “It’s okay-!” Although your heart was racing equally fast, “You’re working, I’m sorry…” “No it’s…” He couldn’t even bring himself to say it, and his smile was restrained, but to you, at least he was smiling. You backed off; “I’ll make dinner-! Alright?” “Sure…” You beamed, and his eyes followed your walk away before he returned to his notes. Did he fear for his own safety? Truly he wasn’t sure – but how many times had you linked your hands behind his neck, or rubbed his shoulders after a hard day or even just placed a gentle kiss there. He shuddered slightly as he thought about Jack Hoskins; could you do that to him? Right now, Ralph hated that he had to assume the worst. Right now, you were none the wiser. *** It was approaching midnight and Ralph had made sure you were once again safely in bed. If there was something else he’d payed great attention to with Holly Gibney, it was how to check for traces of that ‘El Cuco’ entity. Ralph’s best guess was that if you truly were one of those things, you would leave that same trace everywhere that he had. Leave your fingerprints the same... He stood alone with his flashlight in the middle of the living room – fingertips hovering over the light switch. Could he bear to know the answer? Didn’t he already know. Ralph took a deep breath, and bit his lip – closing his eyes, he flicked the switch. It took him far too long to reopen them – and when he did, he ran cold from head to feet. It was everywhere. He was barely exaggerating to say there was more white than blue. He suddenly felt weak, stumbling backwards Ralph had a hard time trying to catch himself against the wall. His breathing was hard and ragged and he felt sick. He knew he probably would be sick. The house was dark so now the only light being thrown up was this, from you. He tried to swallow but his mouth was dry – sweeping the light to the stairwell, he followed it. Trying to calm himself down – but how could he? Everywhere he turned his beam that you had touched, or brushed against, was this substance. It caught brightest in the bathroom and he had to stop. In some places the white was faded - even if it completely covered a surface it was faint - But not here. Ralph approached cautiously. Aside from your bedroom he supposed this would be the place you’d spend the most time without clothes – only here water ran down your body in droplets and cascaded to the ground. The shower looked like someone had thrown a pot of white paint over it and the floor wasn’t much better – and even though it was white, it reminded Ralph too much of blood spatter. He was afraid, and repulsed, and hurt, and heartbroken. He gagged, and then realised that it wasn’t going to stop there. Not even at his worst crime scenes, or as a rookie seeing shit for the very first time, had Ralph Anderson ever thrown up at the sight of something – he was too calm and steady for that. But this was beyond words, this was you, this was the woman he loved, the person he wanted to spend forever with. And all of a sudden everything he’d been trying to hold in didn’t want to stay in his head, or his heart. And Ralph was crying again – but these were real body shaking sobs. He had to do something about this, but he was just as afraid of what he would do to you.

*** Ralph didn’t even wait past waking up the following morning. Dressing, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say, or how he was going to do it – but he walked down those stairs with a fully loaded pistol in his left hand. You could have kicked yourself a million times – maybe you just wanted to pretend everything was alright, that his tone wasn’t off, that his vibe wasn’t off. That it was everything that Ralph had been through over the past month and not you. But as soon as you heard the hammer click back and felt not just the malice, but the intent, you knew it was all but over. You didn’t even look at him, staring straight at your coffee cup – there was no point hiding this now. “You better be careful with shooting that.” He should have been fazed by your sentence; he almost was. Instead what came out of his mouth was defensive and venomous; “I already know you can die.” You breathed out, is that how he was going to play it? “Not easily...” You turned to him, stare measured “I’m not some child who has barely grasped the concept of shifting and makes careless mistakes Ralph. I’m much older than he was.” His eyes flicked away from yours and his brows furrowed – it made him look angrier, rather than his usual concerned; “Who ARE you-!?” Your voice raised to match his, but you were determined not to shout; “You know who I am!” “How can I-!? You’ve lied to me from day one-!” You took a step back: no matter how right he was, what did he want you to say? “And if Frankie Peterson hadn’t turned out the way it did, you would be none the wiser-!” “So if another you had gotten away with what he did, that would have been okay-!?” “Ralph. Terry Maitland, Frankie Peterson… no one who lost their lives over this deserved it. Except the son of a bitch that did this in the first place-!” Your heart hurt, “What do you want me to say Ralph?! If I’d have told you what I was, then what?” “Four fucking years we’ve been together – and you didn’t even - Who are you, right now!?” “Me.” “Bullshit!” “I have a human face, as much as I have a form that’s a lot more like what you would traditionally call a monster-!” You winced, thinking you’d probably said all the words he didn’t want to hear; “Ralph, will you please put the gun down.” A bullet through your head might only slow you down. To be honest you’d never had much contact with human weaponry, but you didn’t fancy testing it out when the man you loved was the one pulling the trigger. “…I can’t sustain a human form for four years. Not even this one… But I promise you this face is my own.” “How many have you killed?” You noticed his gun hand didn’t waver “What?” “Children. People – I don’t care, how many, killed and eaten-!? FUCK! What the hell-! Do you know how crazy this sounds out of my mouth-!?” You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head; “I don’t know.” Not very “Considering you’re pointing a gun at me for being a shifter.” “Answer my question.” “Ral-” “ANSWER the question.” You sighed, “I don’t eat children that’s insane – that’s cruel, and heartless, and downright repulsive.” But people? Yeah – once, but how far back in your history did he want to go? Human sacrifices to Gods were once a thing. But ever since you’d walked predominantly on two legs with the face you’d chosen for yourself, you decided looking human meant acting like one too. Ralph’s laugh was cold, like he couldn’t believe he was trapped in this; “But what anything else is game – what do you get off on, is it the killing, or the suffering!?” “Suffering is like Heroin, but that’s unsustainable. If I wanted to feed on emotions those aren’t the ones I’d chose.” You followed the barrel of his gun as he shifted his weight; “I don’t kill people, that’s murder and there are laws against that. I am dating a fucking detective; how dumb do you think I am-!? And eating people?!” You scoffed, “If that’s what you think of me then we are done here.” That smile was just as cruel; “Yeah. We are fucking done. Hold your hands out.” You stared at him in disbelief, “Are you kidding me-!?” “I figure I can’t fucking shoot you in my own house. HANDS.” Though right now as he looked at you that wasn’t mercy, that was I’d rather not have to move out because they’re busy turning this into a crime scene! “You’re going to arrest me-!? On what charges-!?” “Whatever I have to. You’re dangerous.” You figured with a gun still pointed at your face you’d rather do what Ralph said, and placed your wrists out; he would have nothing on you if you did what he asked. There was just one problem, your thought to instinctively try to take his own arm – to pull him closer to you and say something, or kiss him or anything. You were still you. Why did things have to change because of what you were? Ralph could be angry and upset but he was reacting to what he knew, why did that mean something had to happen? Of course as soon as your skin touched his he withdrew; “DON’T. Touch. Me.” Then he took a deep breath, rethinking his idea, “Turn around.” “What, so you don’t have to look at me when you shoot me?” “TURN. AROUND.” You narrowed your eyes, voice displaying your astonishment, “You really think I’m gonna turn you into Jack Hoskins, don’t you? You are un-fucking-belivable Ralph Anderson.” But you did turn away for him, and his yank on your arms was not gentle, “…If it makes any difference, I can’t do that. Whether it be a trait of his kind or just because he was so sick and twisted and evil…” Ralph pulled you back, cuffs tight against your skin. He hoped you wouldn’t strain and bleed blue again. “If it makes any difference…” He breathed, your back up against his chest (You didn’t dare tremble at that because it would be for all the wrong reasons), and you heard the faint click of his safety going back on, “I don’t care.”

*** Ralph pushed you into the back of the car, and whilst he had you cuffed the questioning continued. But you felt his revulsion, and he didn’t look at you. “Was it ever really real? Any of it!!?” For a moment you pitied him, that he would be forced to say any of this; “Ralph. I love you.” “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it-!” “How can it not be real-!?” There was silence and then he sighed “You told me you couldn’t have kids... because you’re this?” You blinked hard, staring at the back of his head. Why would he chose to fixate on that specifically? You knew he’d been disappointed about it when you’d told him, but it was Ralph’s decision to stay anyway. Besides, any time he was on a case that involved children – particularly this one – he was always glad you didn’t have any.

You cast your eyes to the floor and then the window, but you didn’t want to be anything other than honest with him; “I can’t have children with you. Because you’re human. If my mating season coincided with his presence in Cherokee City then... I could have kids, yes.” You rested your head on the window, wondering why you were continuing but suddenly couldn’t stop yourself from giving him something like a Discovery Channel documentary on your species “…Females are bigger and it gets pretty nasty. Like you shoulda seen the other guy nasty – with teeth and claws like that… And he was pretty young, so even worse. That’s if he survived; females used to kill and eat males after mating. I believe there’s spiders that do similar. Though it’s always the female that chases… Shame that stopped to preserve our race; would have saved you a job…” Ralph found himself almost retching again and wished he’d never asked. The car ride fell silent.

Eventually he pulled out his mobile and tapped away an urgent text - despite trying to lean over to see what he was doing, he’d done it at such an angle that you simply couldn’t. You thought about telling him that texting and driving wasn’t safe, but preferred to keep quiet – less you get him yelling at you again. It wasn’t something you liked very much. Perhaps you deserved it, but you had to admit to yourself any time you’d thought about telling him, it never ended like this – perhaps he’d need some time alone to come to terms with such things and you’d help him through it as best you could, but it was never in the back of his car snapped in handcuffs. Besides, he was sitting texting so you didn’t know who he was talking to. Ralph Anderson was defiantly an “I’ll call you!” man.

When he pulled into the precinct you knew exactly who he had messaged, as standing on the front steps looking equally confused and worried, we’re both Hayes and Sablo. You were outraged; “You’re kidding-!? You’re getting our friends involved-!??!” He turned to you with a look that said both shut up and how dare you call them friends, before exiting the vehicle and coming around to your side.

Yune was the first to move “Shit! Ralph! What the hell are you doing-!?” You supposed the question was warranted; Ralph was pulling his girlfriend out of the car in handcuffs. Hayes was staring, mouth open like this could only have been a dream. Try living it from this angle, mate. “What I must.” Was Ralph’s bitter reply “Y/N! What happened-!? Are you okay-!?” Though Ralph was putting his body firmly between Sablo and yourself. Possibly to protect him, but you’d roll your eyes at that – did he really expect you to go around attacking everyone now he knew? You gave him a weak smile; “Best to stay away from me Yune...” Ralph yanked you away from him and, holding you firmly, marched you into the building. Hayes was shoulder to shoulder with him; “What are you doing!?” “She’s going in a cell!” “Why-!? I hope you know what you’re doing calling me into this after Frankie Peterson!! What are the charges-!?” His shout-whispering definitely verged on the former, and you almost wanted to tell him to shut up also. “Whatever the hell you can possibly put on her.” “You haven’t CHARGED her-?!” Hayes stopped dead causing Yune to almost crash into him, “Ralph are you fucking insane?!?! Let her out of those cuffs right now, I’m not being a party to this!” “Well guess what - you are! And you have been for longer than you realise.” Yune placed his hands on his hips still watching you, and you were staring at the wall because right now your emotions were peaking all over the place, and if your eyes were going to burn silver it was now. “Will you at least tell us what this is about?” Ralph presses the button for the elevator; “Yeah. I’ll meet you in my office.”

As the elevator door pinged he walked you in, and pressed the button for the holding cells. You remained silent, finding your shoes more interesting. But what would you give to have those hands on you lovingly right now. Ralph’s grip was strong and you thought he was currently using more pressure than necessary, but supposed you understood. Yune and Hayes turned to each other in the lobby in utter disbelief - and Hayes sighed to break the silence, hardly daring to think he could possibly have been thrown into this situation again; “This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.” *** No-one asked him any questions. Probably because Ralph didn’t look like a man who wanted to be asked any questions right now – and you looked just as unlikely to say anything. In fact as he marched you down the corridor people actively stepped out of his way; man on a mission. He stopped to breathe only when he had you in front of the cell – and for once you could read your detective like an open book. He had no reason to hide emotion from you when he didn’t know you could read his aura, or get a vibe from him – but now they were loud and clear. Ralph pushed the cell door open and brought your wrists closer to his, paying close attention to your fingernails in the process. He unlocked the handcuffs, luckily they’d only made faint marks on your wrists because you didn’t struggle – he’d have a hard time explaining otherwise – and he almost sighed in relief, before giving you a hard shove in. You stumbled, caught off guard by the movement and he slammed the door shut behind you. You turned around – damn near glaring at him as he locked it up, but he still wasn’t looking at your face. Ralph couldn’t, yet. Couldn’t bring himself to look at a person he thought he knew, and was now a damn near stranger. “You’re staying there until I figure out what to do with you-!” “Why don’t you just take me out to a cave and put a bullet through my head Ralph, that’s what you want-!! I can read you!” You almost spat it at him – because the nerve of him not to look at you was nearly insulting. Like he could throw away four years of good memories just like that. And then he all but did; “Because I LOVED YOU.” His voice raised and so did his eyes, that gorgeous blue now so in pain, and you couldn’t take it away this time – he was hurt and betrayed, but there was nothing in that sentence that held untrue and you could feel that. Loved. Past tense. Just like that. “Ralph…” Your eyes flickered silver and stayed that way, your shoulders and your features slumping in defeat, “Ralph, please…” “Oh no, you’re staying here. Now I gotta sort this fucking mess…” He stepped away from you, unnerved even more by that unnatural eye colour, “RALPH!” You couldn’t take that. How could he say that to you? How could he just walk away after saying loved!? But Ralph Anderson didn’t stop, he kept going, and you heard his quiet murmur that no one was to touch you, to see you or speak to you before he came back. There was agreement, and then your partners footsteps faded. You slumped down on the bench, unsure of what you were feeling for the first time in your entire life. You’d been through the rise and fall of empires. Been treated like a God, feared like a monster and hunted like an animal. Hidden in many different countries under many different identities in cities that didn’t even exist anymore. But in all those lifetimes – you hadn’t ever felt something quite like this.

***

Yune Sablo was eerily quiet, he couldn’t even find the words. That was okay though, because DA Kenneth Hayes was livid - and couldn’t get them all out quick enough.

“You WHAT-!?! This WHOLE time!? All that shit you told me on the phone about Jack Hoskins and-!?” He paused only to collect his thought, hand to his temple momentarily, “And some other police guy - that was all crap!? Do you two HEAR yourselves!? Shapeshifters - tell me this is all a big fucking set up, please! God, let this be a joke!!” Ralph shook his head; “Every word is true. And I can prove it, if you wanna walk with me to the holding cell. I mean it won’t be hard - she bleeds blue.” Hayes made a face; “I don’t want to go anywhere near that. What I wanna know is why everyone was in on this but me. Did I not matter? Was it something I said-!?” “You’re smart Hayes, but you’re logical. I would never have believed it until I had to, you would have laughed us out of your office. Easier to let you do what you had to on terms that make sense, and don’t sound insane.”

“Like you do!” Hayes then did laugh, but not in humour, “Ralph-! You’re saying she is the same kinda thing that killed and mutilated Frankie Peterson - and that’s not the only murder, you’ve given me two more that are known about and an attempted kidnapping - stole identities of countless people, made mind slaves of others and almost killed all of you in Tennessee-!? And she’s just locked up in a holding cell-!?” “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Ralph folded his arms, “she denies that she does any of that, but who is to say... and I couldn’t exactly shoot her in my own house could I-!?” Would have been a hell of a clean-up operation, and it’d taken more than a bullet to stop the last one. If he could withstand that, and you were older, then what could Ralph put you through before you died. He shook that thought quickly away when it started to remind him too much of torture. “And you believe her-!!?” Ralph was silent, and looked across to Yune for support. The Lieutenant clearly didn’t want to interject however, causing Hayes to put his head in his hands; “She’s met my KIDS Ralph-! She’s been to my house—! We’ve all been around her and to plenty of events -! And all she needs is a drop of blood to become us-!?” “I. Know.” Ralph sounded exasperated, “How do you think I feel-?!”

***

It was a lot later in the day when he returned. You’d been left alone with nothing much more than your thoughts, and had watched shadows pass along the floor. You were glad for the silence and you slept in short bursts – but all of it was broken. And when you awoke you wanted to reach for a person who was no longer there. Because you weren’t in bed back home like you usually were. It was almost strange that you’d ended up being the one with the nightmares now – having soothed Ralph out of more than his fair share since the beginning of all this.

He walked in, duffel slung over his shoulder. He’d changed his shirt from this morning, so he’d clearly been home. You didn’t even have a clock to tell you the time. You’d mutter something about human rights – but knew you’d give Ralph the perfect opportunity to remind you that you weren’t human, and you refused to do that. He dropped the bag by the door – still giving you that same stare – like you were dead to him; the worst of the worst. And given the kinds of things Ralph had seen during his tenure, even you thought his look was a little unfair. But justified; why would you look at someone who had just broken your heart as anything less than a monster. And you really were one, at least in his eyes.

He opened the door just a crack, satisfied that you would stay still - try and show that you were no harm to anyone - and kicked the bag over to you. You looked pretty subdued, just sitting there on the bench – Ralph hoped you’d had some time to think it all over and stew, like a real perp. He wanted you to make some kind of mistake. But he’d been through it with Yune and Hayes, you could be held here for 48 hours, despite cries of insanity and protest. Neither of them was about to let a shapeshifter run loose in Cherokee City (again), and Ralph just didn’t know what to do with you otherwise. Or if he could be trusted. For a moment sympathy seemed to cross his face, and you weren’t sure if you should believe it or not; “I brought you some things. Clothes and pieces. I figured you might want them. It’s the decent thing…” Unlike you he seemed to say, but not out loud. Your eyes fell to the bag, and you reached for it slowly. Indeed, when you upzipped it, he’d given you fresh changes of clothes and a few things to make you more comfortable. You didn’t know why; he had no reason. Unless Ralph felt even just a little guilty about the situation. You supposed that was what he wanted you to feel most of all.

You should have been thankful, but you weren’t. “Oh you’re bringing me things now!?” Your smile was thin, “I assume that means I’m staying? The full 48 hours is it, Ralph?” You raised an eyebrow, standing; “…Why? Why the hell even pretend you still care about me!?” His face fell immediately, the sadness in his eyes that pulled across his face replaced by steel blue anger. You weren’t about to beg his forgiveness and Ralph knew that. But you standing up in the way you just had, that determined stance, hard eyes – he barely took a breath. All his feelings about everything, from pulling up at the Frankie Peterson murder to right now came out at once. He was venomous and cruel, and he didn’t care, he’d had enough; Ralph slammed his hand up against the bars; “There’s nothing stopping me from walking out of here right now, coming back with a bus load of tourists, and just watch ‘em fucking push each other out of the way, desperate, trying to get the best angle of your fucking face. Just look at your eyes… The colour of your blood? How much do you think could be charged for that?” It was a disturbing thing to see. Suddenly the man in front of you was a complete stranger, there wasn’t a person in the world that you thought would recognise the smile on Ralph Anderson’s face now; “And then comes the ever curious scientific community. They’re gonna be real interested in you. Poking, probing, injecting, extracting…” He gave a slow shake of his head, lowering his voice to no more than a whisper, delivery as casual as if he were simply passing the time of day; “They’ll cut little pieces of you off, take you back to the lab.” You took a step back, lips parting, what was wrong with him? There was no way in hell he’d get to speak to a human being like this; but you guessed it was okay. Because as Ralph was reminding you, you weren’t one. He raised his voice again, that hatred wasn’t just for you, it was as much for the dead body in a cave in Tennessee, but it cut deep – deeper than you were prepared to admit whilst he was standing in front of you; “-Just keep fucking carving you, and carving you, and carving you until...” He paused, because your eyes flickered back to that silver, and Ralph figured he might have gone a step too far. Maybe but what the hell, he’d said it now – and didn’t your kind deserve it, for all you’d put this City, and all your victims through? “…yeah. You wouldn’t want that, would ya? And it would serve our purposes much better if no one ever knew that you even existed.” He took a step back, shaking his head, “So you gotta go.” Then Ralph turned, without another word, and walked away.

The silence was suddenly eerie, and you wanted him back yelling at you again. You were aware that your eyes were still shining and worse, they smarted. You heard lights flickering on and off throughout the station, and Ralph’s equally angry footsteps fading away. And all you could think of was him returning to that house all alone. You just hoped that his friends would support him… because you knew that he might be saying love in the past tense, but the pain in your chest told you you weren’t about to let him go. Not easily.

Your head lowered, resting against the metal, and when you knew he was gone, and you couldn’t feel his aura anymore you let out a breath; shaky. Just the one, before you started sobbing. ‘So you gotta go.’ That echoed far louder in your head than anything else. What had they decided in that room? That it was okay for them to kill you? Because surely no one else in the world would miss you. A lawyer and two detectives could cover it all up easily, it’d be seamless. He’d loved you for four years – and suddenly he could contemplate putting a bullet through your head. And with that line, would probably go through with it.

You placed your hands over your face, trying to quiet them. But realised just exactly what you had to cry about, aside from sitting in a jail cell, and losing a man you didn’t think you could live without; you had lost your city… and quite perhaps your life. In every sense of the word.

It’s all over. It’s all fucking over.

---

@menndelsohn @3134045126 @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad

Well this is it! The last fic of 24 - roll on all the ones I will write at 25!

#The Outsider #The Outsider HBO #HBOs the Outsider #Ralph Anderson x Reader #Ralph Anderson #Shifter!Reader #Ben Mendelsohn #So. She isn't Dia because that's not who I see in my head... but basically the entire cast of The Outsider has their own Shifter!Reader #and I WOULD write them all #major angst #I love reading back through my work and being damn impressed with myself and THIS is one of those moments #D A M N #I love this piece - so much!#This turned out so much longer - but also so much better than I could ever have hoped for #so I really REALLY hope you all enjoy it #124 #AU!Harmony #last fic of my 24th year-!!!

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phoebehalliwell · 4 years

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How would you have changed it so Darryl his life wasn’t on the line in crimes and witchdemeanors? Like I totes agree that the show disrespected him! Daryl was the bomb! Like weirdly enough I could totes see him hanging with Leo and the Trophy Husband Squad! Do you think that say, if his kids had developed powers (or crimes and witchdemeanors hadn’t happened) that Darryl had stuck around? Like Daryl leaving was a CRIME

hmm that’s a tough question part of me just wants to say scrap the episode all together bc it’s like weird i don’t like it also strips phoebe of her powers which was a dumb move from a show standpoint imo and on top of that disrespects darryl’s character and also holly was too pregnant to be there but just having phoebe and paige there feels weird furthermore it was ugly like it was an ugly setup But That Being Said it’s a great barbas plotline That Being Said they didn’t do much with it afterwards like i loved barbas in its a bad bad bad bad world but like they should have done more with it y’know okay after talking this out right here my conclusion Is scrap the episode

i feel like the show itself definitely ended up regarding darryl as more of a plot device than an actual character, and when they felt the need to give him some actual motivations it was always like “i want to be promoted to be an even more important cop bc i’m a cop and i love being a cop” which also is so wack imo if his father was a member of the black panther party like hello how did that happen who sanctioned that?? and i feel like it really lost the original darryl who was loyal and earnest and above all cared about helping people. like bro darryl was invited to the weddings man he was like family until the show just decided he wasn’t :/

honestly i wouldn’t know how to write him into season eight in like a good manner he was written off bc the show had no money which is also why leo got turned into a popsicle like part of my wants to say make! darryl’s! kids! witches! but also i feel like that would have been like a weird move and it’s like totally outta left field and it makes absolutely no sense but also make! darryl’s! kids! witches!

#💌#darryl morris

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florrickandassociates · 4 years

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TGF Thoughts: 3x08-- The One Where Kurt Saves Diane

I wrote this over the span of, like, a full year and it is not very interesting. I am posting it simply because I am committed to the idea of writing something about every episode of this series. I recommend that you go check out Evil instead of reading this.

I’m just not intrigued by the clips of news footage about some sort of “Unredacted Unspecified Report” that open this episode.

Diane doesn’t seem to be that interested either: she’s not watching and talks over it.

More interesting (but, tbh, not actually that interesting to me either, because I’m losing interest in this season) is that Diane gets a letter of warning from a ~mysterious source~.

Most interesting of all: Diane and Kurt have a normal morning together.

Kurt spots the letter first and opens it. STOP DIANE. THEY KNOW ABOUT THE HACK. So maybe it’s directed at Kurt. Or maybe it’s supposed to say, “Stop, Diane.”

I still haven’t warmed to Diane’s bedroom set, especially because it still feels like Diane lives in her bedroom and her home has no other rooms.

Joy, Felix Staples has returned. All I have to say about this case is that the day this ep aired, basically what’s happening in this case happened in real life, because… Kings.

Hello, it’s October now and I suddenly felt like returning to The Good Universe and writing. It’s been a while.

My memory of this episode/arc is that Diane and Liz just did something uncharacteristically dumb and illegal, and this is the episode where Kurt secretly puts an end to the shenanigans without Diane even knowing. I remember this episode being satisfying, if only because it got rid of the aforementioned dumb and illegal plot. Let’s see how good my memory is.

Wait why don’t I remember Roger Bart being on this show and why didn’t I note it earlier?! How could I let George The Killer Pharmacist go unmentioned?!

On that note, how did I not use the opening scene of the season (Diane saying “I’m happy” as an excuse to ramble about how weird it is to experience happiness on a personal level in today’s world?) (I was just watching 3x01.)

I’m actively not watching the case scenes so they don’t kill my drive to actually write this.

Oh God, I’m going to have to deal with Blum again at some point. I had blocked out his bloviating. I think this is the last of the Blum/Maia free eps?

The weird Lucca/British actor plot is still happening!!!! I didn’t miss it during all those months in which I wasn’t reminded of it.

The joke about how these TV lawyers aren’t like other TV lawyers, except they are, was funny the first time.

Always great to see how Lucca, who is the head of a department at this point, gets called into other cases frequently. Definitely how things work.

Is it bad that I’m more interested in making a mental list of all the times TGF/TGW have filmed in this little park than this Marissa/Alan Alda scene?

I can see why this is the episode that made me stop writing these for a bit. So far, this ep is all case and a subplot I don’t care for.

You know what else was funny the first time and has hit a point of diminishing returns? The thing where a main character’s love interest shows up in court and then they get thrown off their game and it’s CUTE FLIRTING!!! Find a new, unique way to signal interest, writers!

This gag now involves literal gagging. I’m overjoyed.

Lucca’s monologuing at a toilet about her crush. This plot is cute. It isn’t bad. It is watchable. BUT! I know it’s a novelty, so I’m just not that excited by it or invested in it. It’s not really deepening my understanding of Lucca.

Lucca picturing everyone in court in their underwear is just unnecessary and honestly not funny???

Kurt leaves the warning note out for Diane to see. He confronts her about it and she asks for a drink.

The credits are at 19 minutes in. I do love them. Have any of you watched Evil yet? I watched part of the first episode (I intend to go back to it, I’ve just been busy) and the credits resemble the TGF credits. (Update as of March 2020: I watched all of Evil and you should too.)

Diane tells Kurt about Book Club or #Resistance or whatever I was calling it. Even though Diane doesn’t tell him the full story (mostly for his own protection, and she makes it clear she’s omitting stuff), I do appreciate that Diane and Kurt don’t keep secrets from each other, and if/when they do, they talk about it openly and calmly. I love them.

(I have blocked out Kurt/Holly almost entirely. I know it’s canon, but I still don’t believe it was anything other than a plot device to motivate some unnecessary drama in the TGW finale. God, that finale was bad. Ghost Will? Kurt cheating? GENEVA and Peter? GHOST WILL? Even the slap, which is one of my favorite parts, is more powerful as a symbol than as an actual plot development, since (1) Alicia betraying Diane is something Pilot!Alicia would’ve done to any friend to protect her family and (2) it stems from the nonsense about Kurt cheating and Peter tampering with evidence. What a letdown of a finale. The Kings are lucky they got to redeem themselves with TGF.)

(As anyone who’s had a one-on-one convo with me about the TGW finale at any point in the last three years will tell you, I will NEVER tire of discussing it, even if it means rehashing the same points over and over and over.)

I forgot about the thing where it wouldn’t stop storming in season 3.

Don’t have much to say about Kurt devising a plan to help Diane get out of trouble, but I do find it very fun!

OOOOH this is the episode about censorship that got censored!!! If you haven’t already, do read Emily Nussbaum’s piece about the behind-the-scenes drama of this episode. I thought the “this content has been censored” screen where the short would have been was a joke… but it was actually censored. That may be the most interesting thing about this episode.

I want more character-driven plots. I want more Liz and Lucca. I have nothing to say.

Book Club still believes the con artist who brought them together is something other than a con artist. Book Club is not that smart for being a collection of very smart people.

“So the whole group is bullshit?” Liz asks when Diane loops her in. Yes. But also, like, this is what happens when you do illegal shit with a group formed by a literal con artist. Liz may have an excuse for trusting the group (Diane brought her in), but why does DIANE trust them?

“My life is simple, Diane. I have a son. I have a mortgage. I have my job. And I go from home to work and work to home. So this stuff is, this bullshit intrigue… I’m done. Too much drama,” Liz laments, about a week too late. Where was this last week when Liz was like YES LET’S DO CRIMES?

One of my problems with the whole Book Club arc is that it makes very little sense that Liz would get involved in the first place. I understand why she would be sympathetic to their cause and willing to look the other way on their methods… if she were watching a news report about them on TV. She’s too practical, and has too much to lose, to get involved with a group like this.

An NSA nerd is back!! He’s the one warning Diane!

Okay, picking this back up in March 2020 because *gestures at the world* I have time. Like, I have so much free time I’ve finished 9 books in the last 14 days AND finally made it to the episodes of The Sopranos with JMargs. I began watching The Sopranos in 2017.

As I write this, I have no idea if TGF is coming back on April 9th as planned or not. Unless there’s something in the works for season 4 that can’t possibly be left unfinished or air today, I think they should air whatever they have now. TGF is always timely, and while scenes set in an office are suddenly feeling weird and implausible, they’ll probably play better now than in six months. And we’d all forgive the writers if they had to wrap up the arcs through an animated recap song.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the TGF credits so I rewound to watch the credits. I went to 2 minutes into the episode, then remembered… they’re 20 minutes in.

Y’all. They blow up a purse with hand sanitizer in it. Did they predict this?!

I wrote that preamble and then stopped writing. But now we know that TGF is really coming back on April 9th, which means I have to stop watching The Sopranos and write these things!

Ah, Felix Staples. I haven’t missed you!

Case stuff happens. Really riveting episode, this one. (It is an interesting case, though.)

Kurt saving Diane is pretty fun. But I don’t have anything to say about it and to write about it would just to be to give a half-assed play by play… and why?

Oh WOW, Lucca and Downton Abbey guy is still happening?!

Getting to see Kurt be really competent and caring is the best thing, by far, about the Book Club arc.

Wait, I take that back, Liz’s speech about voter suppression is also pretty high up there-- as long as you ignore the context.

V excited (!!) to get back to Maia’s bullshit in the next few episodes, not because I want to watch it but because if there’s one thing I’m actually motivated to write about, it’s how the show has handled Maia Rindell. Also, they handle the next few episodes well for her.

Oh RIGHT Liz tells ChumHum about her dad’s sexual harassment issues! And Adrian and Liz are finally going to tell the press! It may mean losing Neil Gross, though.

Book Club is over! Wooooooooooooooooooooo! On to more interesting things!!!

Also gone? Downton Abbey guy, who gave an interview about something new and exciting in his life. Lucca thought he was talking about her, and he was talking about some...personality test that sounds like a cult from the way he describes it? AAAAAND I Googled it and yup. It is. What a goofy ending to this arc I didn’t care about. Reminds me of the way the Marilyn arc ended (with a cameo from a celebrity who she was supposedly sleeping with). Glad the actor was so game to poke fun at himself, but is this the best we can do for Lucca?

Diane thinks she took care of the hack and made it go away. Kurt lets her take the credit.

The end!

#the good fight #is coming back soon!!!!#tgfthoughts #yes i still check this thing

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fal-carrington · 5 years

Text

Love Will Tear Us Apart Pt.2

Pairing: VictoriaxMc

Gender: Slightly Angst/heartbreaking filled with romance

@jellymonster @lovechoices @alexandralabhont @torifontaine @rudeassmonkey65 @psychopathdreamer21 @abunchofbadchoices @gayfontaine @zoe6111 @delphinusbae @choicesfannatalie @rubyheartjane

A/N: Hi everybody, today I was inspired and I decided to write this. The idea popped into my mind as I was replaying the last chapter of RCD's book 2 when Victoria admits being in love with MC, and MC alternately rejects her, so Victoria says "Don’t say anything else please. If you get there... Amazing. If you don’t... I still think having you in my life has been for the best”

Prompt: Falling in love with your best friend and seeing her date someone else can be painful, especially when you do not admit your feelings to her for fear of losing her and being rejected. That was what Victoria thought, but that was before her agent called with an unexpected offer. When Victoria and Kat have to act as lovers in Thomas Hunt's new series, things can turn out to be disastrous, would Victoria finally admit the truth when she's about to kiss her best friend for the first time on a TV show? Somebody is going to get out of this with a broken heart?

Months later

“...AND ACTION!”

"You know perfectly well that we can not let the police find Frederick's body." Ryan Summers in his character James Scott, New Orleans' most famous thief, looked earnestly into Victoria's eyes which in response received a cold glance from her character, Selina Di Santis the mafia's badass queen, rolled her eyes.

"... I'm not joking around, Scott." Victoria paced the room in long, slow strides. "I know what's at stake."

"Our necks," Ryan said between his teeth.

"My reputation. One of the city's crime leaders is dead, which means there's blood in the water and the sharks will come for us."

"The police." Ryan sighed.

"You're not as dumb as you look." Victoria nodded.

"It's only a matter of minutes before they come. Agent Russo has come to you?"

"No, but she'll come." Victoria smiled presumptuously, folding her arms. "... And when she arrive, I'll be prepared for it."

"... And cut!" Hunt's voice sounded from the set. Ryan and Victoria turned to the director. "That was formidable, Victoria and Ryan. Let's take a twenty-minute break and pick up the scene with Kat and Victoria." Victoria and Ryan nodded and headed off on different paths, she opted to go back to her trailer and do her makeup and hair, to recite her next lines.

She sighed as she returned to the comfort of her trailer, pulling out of her heels and sitting on her couch. Kat should probably be doing the same in her trailer, she always stayed a little longer to concentrate better. That day, Victoria saw her for a few minutes, Kat kissed her cheek and said she was excited to record their scene together.

It had been a few months since the show had been made. Hunt was more than proud of the work the two were producing together. Apparently when it aired the first episode of the series, the fans were crazy and the most beloved couple in the series were the characters of Victoria and Kat, the fans loved the couple. The chemistry between the two actresses was so strong that it made all scenes even more real, adding to all that repressed love and hate between special agent sweetheart Russo and the villainous owner of an empire formed by gangsters and death, Di Santis.

Victoria was grateful for the success that the show was making, with all that success and attention that her character and Kat's received, she could not help but wonder how close they both had been. On a few nights Kat went to the Victoria mansion to practice together and it was great.

Internally a part of Victoria was happy to spend more time with her. She made a mistake in falling in love with her best friend and for months tried to deny it, but then again, when are we able to choose who we're going to love? She did not choose, it happened.

She wanted to blame someone else besides her, maybe Kat? She was a great person to blame, she was everything Victoria wanted to avoid, but she could not.

"Oh. Stop it, Fontaine. She's with Matt.” Victoria shook her head in frustration with herself. She could not get much work done in that trailer at afternoon. When the trainee appeared in her trailer calling her back to the set, she sighed. That was her job and she was incredibly good at it even if she had to hide her feelings.

Victoria sighed trying to take out those thoughts that were bad for her mind, she finalized her makeup and returned to the set. On returning to the set she found the last thing she wanted to see. Kat was there and she was smiling radiantly in Matt's arms. Ugh, the image of perfect couple that the two of them made caused nausea in Victoria. She held the urgency to roll her eyes.

"What is he doing here?" She thought to herself bitterly. “He isn’t supposed to be at Italy recording his new movie?”

"Tori, hey." Kat saw her before she could change her course and go unnoticed. Victoria saw no other solution, approached with slow steps, for her it was as if she were walking to the death. “You don’t believe who show up here! Matt is going to spend the weekend at New Orleans with me!” She was so damn happy.

"Rodriguez," she said, glaring at Matt, forcing a smile.

"Fontaine," he answered with a playful smile.

"Ugh, you do not have any action movies to do?" Victoria thought. “Just go back to Italy already.”

"Matt came by to pick me up after the shoot, since this is our last scene of the day and he got the day off" Kat explained, smiling cheerfully.

"I thought we were going to have some coffee after the shoot." Victoria turned to her, trying not to look down.

"Oh!" Something snapped in Kat's eyes.

"Yep. She had completely forgotten our plans. That's what you get, Fontaine. She forgot you.”

"I'm sorry, Tori! I forgot.” Kat stepped up to apologize. Always a sweetheart. "Can we... You know, reschedule?"

"It was our afternoon together... And now you're going to go with Mr. Muscles."

"Yeah sure." Victoria shrugged nonchalantly.

"Thank you! You're the best.” Kat smiled.

"Yeah... I am." Victoria nodded, folding her arms.

"So... They say you two have good chemistry on TV. I wanted to see for myself.” Matt said smiling.

"I bet you want to," Victoria thought to herself bitterly.

"Alright everybody!" Thomas returned to the set with Holly. “Everyone in their positions." Hunt sat in his chair and fixed his eyes with a serious look at the set ahead of him.

“I guess that’s us” Kat turned to Matt smiling and gave him a peck in the lips. Victoria rolled her eyes and went back at her office in the scene.

" ... Action" Thomas said. Victoria knew perfectly well that the cameras were already rolling, she crossed her legs and glanced at the window while she drank her old fashioned.

The doors of her office suddenly burst open, revealing Kat panting and her blue eyes flaming with anger. She wore the famous leather jacket over the black tank top and jeans that were the hallmark of her character Alexis Russo.

"...Give me a good reason not to arrest you now, Selina!" She said angrily, Victoria turned her chair with a triumphant smile.

"Good afternoon to you, too, Agent Russo. What a beautiful afternoon do not you think?” Victoria smiled. Kat stepped quickly toward Victoria's table and put both hands on the wooden table.

"I'll lock you up behind bars for so many years that you will never see the light of day again," she said between her teeth.

"...I bet you could not stop thinking about me, huh? That's why you're here, right? To finish the discussion we had at that bar?” Victoria said smiling, wrapping a blond wick in one of her fingers. Kat retreated a few steps, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Damn, I taught you perfectly." Victoria thought to herself of seeing her performance.

"Do not play with me," Kat snarled. "I know it was one of your men who killed Frederick! I'm going to arrest you all."

"So much hate in the heart, agent." Victoria stood and circled Kat like a lioness about to attack her prey. Kat stood by watching her, "I wonder if you're really here with the intention of arresting me."

"There's nothing I want more than to see you pay for your crimes."

"Oh really? I do not believe it.” Victoria approached slowly. "You know, I think all your motivation to arrest me is actually hiding other things." She drew closer.

"One more step and I'll shoot, I swear to god, Di Santis, do not tease me." Kat threatened to put her hand in the holster as Victoria pulled her by the collar of her shirt and brought Kat close to her. At the same moment she could feel Kat's sweet scent with precision, Victoria smiled, staring at Kat’s lips, she touched Kat's chin.

And so it was the script, there was no kiss, only a platonic desire between them, a line neither of them should cross. But Victoria's wish was still there, she knew everybody was looking, Matt was. She got even closer to Kat, their lips inches from each other. “She’s so incredibly hot” Victoria thought to herself looking straight to Katherine’s sky blue eyes. A untrustworthy voice screamed in her mind to kiss Kat, dominating all her senses — but in the background another screamed back, saying she was a professional after all. She shouldn’t let her feelings intervene in her work.

"... What are you going to do, hm?" Victoria's voice sounded like a whisper.

"You... I’m... Not—" Kat stammered with the approach, she pulled away and shook her head. "I'll prove it was you who gave the order to kill him." Victoria laughed. Kat turned away from her and marched toward the door.

"...Do not forget to come back with a warrant." Victoria said with her back to Kat smiling. She heard Kat grunting and her grin widened even more.

"... And cut!" Hunt's voice echoed. Victoria turned her eyes to him and Kat did the same. "...You two were perfectly suited for this scene. Tomorrow we'll start from the scene of Chris and Pippa on the bridge. You two are dismissed,” he said. Victoria rolled her eyes.

"Relax, Tori. That was a compliment coming from him." Kat laughed putting her hand lightly on Victoria's shoulder.

"I have not gotten used to working with his strange terms yet," Victoria said as they walked together on the set.

"I think you were amazing, as always. My God, that scene was... pretty hot.” Kat sighed and smiled. Victoria stopped and looked at her for a moment. Was she impressed? She... Did she feel something? No, it could not be.

"Really?" Victoria stopped.

"Absolutely! Our chemistry in this scene was wonderful, I can not even imagine about the scene of the kiss between Selina and Alexis would be like.” Kat smiled excitedly. Victoria smiled, even though she tried to stop herself now.

"Well, if you're interested, we could go over the script in my room at hotel—"

"Hey, Kat!" Matt emerged before she could even finish the sentence, wrapping Katherine in his arms and kissing her face. "That scene was awesome! You were absolutely beautiful! "

"Do you think?" Kat turned with a smile to him, completely forgetting the subject, Victoria restrained the urge to turn her eyes.

"Girls, congratulations. This show is lucky to have you. Hunt should be grateful just for the chemistry you guys have on the show." Matt laughed and Victoria sighed forcing a smile. "Well, are we leaving?"

"Yeah, I just need to get my purse," Kat said.

"That's right. I'm just going to say goodbye to the people.” Matt kissed her cheek. "Great scene, Fontaine." He gave a thumbs-up to Victoria, smiling. Victoria smiled back.

Kat turned to her.

"I'll see you tomorrow on the set?"

"Sounds great." Victoria shrugged.

They had been friends for a long time, long enough for Kat to notice Victoria's behavior change.

She stopped, staring directly into the diva's eyes.

"Vic are you alright? What's wrong? "she asked.

“Nothing” Victoria lied.

Kat sighed impatiently.

“I’m really sorry about our coffee, I really forgot.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Oh, come on. Matt’s is only in the town for this weekend, you know I would never uncheck something with you if it was not for something important.”

“So, now I’m not important anymore?” Victoria touched her own chest.

“No, no! That’s not what I meant!”

“Every time he’s around you do this. You know that I hate this shit and yet you keep doing it. Today was our day.”

“He’s my boyfriend and you’re my best friend, of course, I’m going go out with him if he’s around!.”

Victoria bit her lip and nodded.

"You better go, your boyfriend is waiting for you, I will not hold you for much longer.” She turned her back and left, leaving Kat behind.

"Vic, please wait!"

Two weeks later 13h30pm

Victoria stared at her own reflection in the mirror, on one side was her personal hairstylist, adjusting the bobs in her blond hair to form her character's famous hairstyle. And on the other, her makeup artist, giving the finishing touches on her make-up. She sighed, angry at herself for the immensity of feelings that tightened her heart even more. How could she not be angry with herself for being in love with someone who clearly did not feel the same, and left her almost always in the background, or even with Kat for being... Kat. She was really pretty, but sometimes so naive. Katherine had sent some messages to her over the weekend, unanswered by the diva. The last thing Victoria wanted was to disrupt the happy couple. From now on, she would no longer let herself be affected by Kat, she would back away.

A few soft knocks came from the door of her trailer.

"Come in," Victoria said without looking away from the mirror. The door to the trailer opened, and Victoria could feel the fragrance of that perfume she knew perfectly. Damn.

"Wow... You look so beautiful." She turned her face and met Kat leaning against the door. Victoria felt her face burn and turned to face the mirror again. "The silent treatment? Seriously?"

Victoria did not answer her, in response to her attitude, Kat turned to the artists.

"Hey, guys. Do you mind giving us a minute alone?" She asked. Always so educated, when they both replied that they did not care and left the trailer leaving them alone, Kat sighed and took slow steps towards Victoria. "I bought our lunch, I went to that vegan restaurant that you love," she said as she got to her knees by Victoria's chair and looking for a response from the diva.

It was difficult. Hard to ignore, hard to ignore when she was so sweet, polite and charming. "Hey, uh... Do you mind look at me for just a minute?” She laughed.

Victoria turned her face and looked at her. Kat stared at her like an abandoned dog, her blue eyes bright and the dimple of her right cheek appearing as she bit her bottom lip. Oh, fuck.

“Don’t take easy on her. She screwed you.” Victoria replied to herself, trying to avoid Kat’s eyes.

“You don’t deserve it.” Victoria said coldly.

"Not even a bit. I'm sorry," Kat said sincerely, Victoria rolled her eyes. "Matt told me that he was coming at last minute, I got so anxious to see him again, but you... You’re so important in my life as well. I love you both.” She said looking for Victoria's eyes. "I can do anything to redeem myself with you. Anything you want.” Kat touched her arm lightly, bringing chills to Victoria's body and her stomach spinning, she tried not to demonstrate, swallowing hard and diverting her face for the young actress not to notice. Victoria took a deep breath and looked at her again, how could she get away from Katherine?

“Don’t do that again.” Victoria said.

“I won’t.”

“You better.”

Kat opened a beautiful smile and leaned down enough to leave a kiss on Victoria's cheek, leaving her face incredibly red. She stood and turned to take the lunch from both of them on the counter, giving Victoria enough time to recover from that act of unexpected affection, touching her own cheek.

Wednesday, 14h10pm

Kat followed Victoria into her trailer, the girl jumped on the couch and settled herself with a smirk on her face. Victoria leaned against the counter with her eyes on her, Kat pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and began to check her messages.

“How was your weekend?” Victoria asked.

“Really great. I just... I missed him so much. We really had a great time together.” Kat sighed talking about Matt again. “I’m sad that he had to go back to Italy, but it’s our jobs and we both understood this.”

Victoria took a deep breath, hearing those words were just like being shouted at the chest.

“I’m happy for you both.” She lied turning with a fake smile.

“Thanks, Vic.” Kat smiled back. “Sometimes I forget how great best friend you are to me. I’m lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, friend” Victoria thought bitterly. "...How's Matt doing?" Victoria asked. Kat looked up and smiled.

"He’s great." She smiled. "Just a little annoyed since we're not spending as much time together as we used to, but he understands." Victoria held the inner will to roll her eyes.

"Yeah. Sure.” She said and folded her arms.

"Chazz just reminded me that we have a very crowded day. I forgot the interviews and the photoshoots"

"Well, I have not forgotten." Victoria stepped away from her and went to the kitchen to make the tea. "Now we're almost done with this season.”

"Yeah, it's great, is not it?" Kat laughed, leaning against the back of the couch. Just two more episodes to end the first season. This series is crazy, you can not imagine how much the fans stop me at street, they keep asking me questions about you. Now they're shipping the two of us."

"At least they're on my side." Victoria thought to herself with a smirk on her face. "Does that bother Matt?" She glanced over her shoulder.

"A little. He says no, but I think he thinks the opposite, but he understands that the commotion is all about the show... So.” She shrugged.

"Good to know." Victoria smiled convinced.

"Which brings up a subject that I think we should talk about," Kat said, suddenly altering her behavior, fiddling absently on her cell phone, apparently to have something to look at instead of Victoria's eyes.

"What would it be?" Victoria asked curiously, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Our kiss," Kat said as she nearly knocked her coffee onto the upholstery of her sofa. "I mean... in the series. Hunt came to tell me that in the next episode will be filming the first kiss of our characters.” Kat told her and Victoria could not help noticing how eager she looked.

"Well, it would eventually happen, uh?" Victoria answered back.

"But are not you a little nervous about it? I mean, it's us... me and you, and I know it’s our characters and not us, but still... I do not know, I've never kissed my best friend before.” She gave a nervous laugh.

"I've done it so many, many times, I've gotten used to kissing in front of cameras." Victoria shrugged.

"I know and me too, but we have to talk about it." Kat said putting one of the strands of her hair behind her ear, Victoria noticed how cute she was when she did it, even though it was a sign of nervousness.

"Okay." Victoria turned to her. "Let's talk about this."

"Well..." Kat started shyly. "When I was a teenager— And you promise not to laugh at me!" She pointed her fingers at Victoria.

"Okay, Okay. I promise.” Victoria held up her hands in defense.

"...You know, we all have that crush of adolescence that is a celebrity and has no idea that you exist. In my case... You were my celebrity crush. And now you know that I exist, and we're best friends and we're about to kiss each other for the first time on a TV show! This is crazy. "

That was like a punch in Victoria's face, she stopped at once. Glancing at the girl with nothing to say. Kat smiled red-cheeked as she told her about her teenage years.

"Wait a minute, did you have a crush on me?" Victoria pointed to her still discredited chest.

"Yes. A huuuge crush. Can you believe it?” She laughed.

"Not. I can not,” Victoria said as she leaned her back against the couch, deep in thought, how life could be extremely bitch, now it was her who had a huge crush on Kat.

“Kat, may I ask you something? "Victoria approached curiously.

"Anything." Kat shrugged.

"We never had this conversation, but... I have to say, I always thought you were straight. So you're telling me—"

"I'm bisexual," Kat admitted. "I mean, I have more experiences with guys than women, I think I only slept with two girls," she said reflectively.

"I have a chance." It was the only thing that went through Victoria's mind. That conversation was proof that it was possible.

"I don’t know, I just... I do not know how to flirt with girls, I'm a complete disaster with women." Kat admitted, and Victoria smiled knowing she'd fallen in love with the girl next her so easily, and she didn’t have the slightest idea.

Friday, 19h30pm

"Victoria, five minutes." Victoria heard the assistant's voice on the other side of the door of her trailer.

"Thanks, I'm coming," she said as she finished her makeup looking in her mirror. She took a deep breath, moistening her lips perfectly aware of what would happen today. The scene of the kiss, the scene of the kiss that everyone was waiting for, surely that would have repercussion on the part of the media, the fans... She was a professional, already had kissed so many different actors in front of the screens of the cameras, but why now did you feel that way? Maybe because it was her best friend that she was deeply in love and that she had never kissed before.

"It's just a kiss, Fontaine. You can do that, a professional kiss.” She repeated to herself as a mantra to keep her head in the right place. "Let's get this over with."

Upon entering the set, she encountered Kat immersed in a conversation with Hunt, it seemed that both were discussing the script, when Kat saw her, gave a passionate smile, the same smile she always gave when saw Victoria.

"Hey, Vic." She said approaching.

"What was that?" Victoria pointed slightly at Hunt, who was already on the other side of the set with Holly.

"Oh, I was just talking to him about the kissing scene, I was thinking the scene would be more shocking if it was in Selina's office instead of the parking lot."

"And he liked the idea?"

"He said he found it interesting and that we could go through my line of reasoning, honestly I think he liked it." Kat gave a chuckle.

"Everyone in their positions!" Hunt's voice echoed across the set, he took his place in his chair.

"Anyways, are you ready?" Kat smiled.

"Always," Victoria said.

"Okay, then." Kat winked and smiled, heading for the stage.

Fuck, fuck. You got this, Fontaine.

Kat took her place in Victoria's office, leaning against the table, Victoria positioned herself behind the wooden doors to make her grand entrance.

"So let's make that clear. I want that passionate kiss, you are madly in love and for the first time you are ignoring your principles, and allowing it to happen,” Hunt said and both agreed. "All ready? And ACTION.” He said, at the sound of his voice, Victoria opened the doors of Selina's office, facing Kat, who turned to her with her arms folded.

"Oh, if this is not an unexpected surprise," Victoria said, taking two steps toward Kat. "What can I do for you, agent?"

"I came here to say..." Kat disengaged from the table, biting her lips, hesitant just as Alexis would be in that situation. "...I admit, I was wrong."

"So you finally admit it?" Victoria smiled triumphantly.

"About the case, not about you. I still think you're worthless, Di Santis." Kat snapped. "I just came here to apologize, nothing more. I still have my doubts "

Victoria took a few more steps toward her until she was close enough.

"At this point I thought we've already gotten over this." Victoria's voice became a mere whisper, she lightly touched Kat's cheek. "Admit it, you like me. Even if your instincts tell you otherwise. "

"I do not—"

"...You feel the same attraction, the need to be close to me, I know you do." Victoria continued to stare into the depths of Kat's blue eyes.

Kat moved away, shaking her head.

"Do not do it. You know perfectly well that we can’t."

"Why not?" Victoria whispered.

"You know the reason." Kat turned to the door and walked over to her. "You and I are very different, Selina."

"Is that so?" Victoria crossed her arms. "Do you know what I think? You're lying to yourself. "

"I'm?"

"Admit it at once you want me as much as I want you," Victoria said. Kat touched on the door handle, ready to leave the office, with her back to Victoria, she took a deep, hesitant.

It was when Kat lifted her head and looked at Victoria, and Victoria could see the desire in her eyes, burning like fire, she marched toward Victoria, certain of what she was doing, and just as surely she touched the diva's cheeks and brought her into a passionate kiss.

Victoria grabbed Kat's leather jacket and brought Kat closer to her, holding tight, Kat's lips were delicate, warm and soft against hers, she was completely addictive, even if she did not know it. And Victoria, like a junkie, having finally tasted her drug for the first time, could not let that moment slip away so easy. Kat was being sweet, kissing her in a passionate way, just like in the script, and should not have tongue, it should be a totally professional kiss. But... Victoria took advantage of the cue and bite lightly on Kat's lower lip, taking out a silent groan from Kat in response. Kat's fingers went into her blond hair, squeezing them lightly, while Victoria boldly asked for permission with her tongue to enter Kat's mouth, which surprisingly allowed her. She curled her tongue against Kat's, finally feeling her for the first time, starting a slow, wet kiss. A damn good kiss.

Kat back away seconds later, which seemed like forever, she was still close, her forehead touching Victoria's, panting and red-lipped. Victoria stared at those perfect blue eyes, Kat watching her in surprise and shock. But there was something else... something she could not tell what it was, maybe desire?

"What the hell was that?" Kat asked quietly, a small smile on her face. She was not following the script.

"I have not the faintest idea," Victoria replied with a smirk back, bringing her face close again and kissing her lips lightly.

"And.... CUT." Thomas said seconds later, the two of them turned to him. "That was..."

"Extremely pornographic, I loved it!" Addison interrupted him with a smile on her cheek, Hunt looked at her with disapproval.

"I suppose it was... as it should be, but I realized that you both left the script for a few seconds, however I believe we can use that kiss on the scene. Congratulations, you two.” He said.

Kat ran her hand through her hair with a smile on her face at Hunt's words. Victoria was still shocked by the kiss, but she managed to draw a smile from her face.

"You’re a damn good kisser, Fontaine. Thomas loved." Kat laughed, her lips still red. "And I'm sure the fans will love it too." She left a kiss on Victoria's cheek and left smiling.

"I do not think they were the only ones who liked it," Victoria said, touching her lips as she watched her walk away.

#choices you play #victoria fontaine #red carpet diaries #victoria x mc

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ariabauer · 6 years

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100 Carmilla Stories - RunWithWolves Masterpost

Missing Hollstein? Already re-watched the series dozens of times? Need some Carmilla in your life? Then I have the fics for you. Seriously. I’ve written 100 Carmilla stories and categorized them here for your convenience (some stories fit into multiple but i did my best)

If you want...

Fake Dating/Marriage - i just really love this trope

Politician Carmilla has to get engaged to someone for her campaign and ends up with her long time best friend Laura. Marriage of Convenience

When Laura hears that actress Carmilla is fake dating her ex, she has some words for her best friend. A Rational Irrationality

Princesses Laura and Carmilla told the world they were dating to get out of arranged marriages. It’s easy til they fall in love. Not Really a Royal Romance

Laura wakes up in the hospital to find ex Carmilla at her side after they apparently got married a decade before. The Girl Who Got Away

As far as anyone knows, pHd candidates Laura and Carmilla hate each other. Lab Manager Laf is onto them. Worst Lab Partner Ever

General Fantasy - Supernatural beyond just vampires

Hollstein are dragon riders and Carmilla is not taking the responsibility seriously enough for Laura. Just A Girl and Her Dragon

Vampire Carmilla never expected to find old roomate Laura working a magical flower store in Diagon Ally. Lophii’s Blooms

Carmilla never wanted magic and Laura can’t unlock her own, they’re stuck together until they figure it out. circle of magic au Magic of My Own

Movies at Silas come to life and drag Carmilla into the role of Prince Charming while Laura gets sleeping beauty. Silas Movie Night

Werewolf Laura and Vampire Carmilla don’t get along and Carmilla doesn’t understand why Laura doesn’t turn her over tot he hunters. Like Cats and Dogs

Carmilla’s the best surgeon in the hospital but she swallows her pride and asks Dr Hollis for help when she gets an unusual sickness. Paging Doctor’s Hollis and Karnstein

Laura is angry because Carmilla thinks her blood tastes gross and spits it out instead of killing her. False Advertising

Clockwork Au: Laura and Carmilla to each have creatures made of clockwork (dragon and cat respectively) that represent their souls. Silver and Gold

Myths and Fairytales - sometimes you need a Hollstein happily ever after

Sassy Laura barges into Carmilla’s castle with a rose and demands a curse be lifted from her father. Beauty in A Beast ft Catmilla

Cupid Laura is determined to find vampire Carmilla’s soulmate even if Carmilla doesn’t want her too. Stalked By Cupid

Totally-in-love Laura and a tiny kitten Catmilla. Princess and the Frog twist, The Princess and the Kitten

Goddess of Spring Laura is accidentally kidnapped by Lord of the Dead Carmilla. Hades/Persephone AU. Queen of the Underworld

Carmilla goes overboard into the ocean during a storm and never expected a mermaid to pluck her from the sea. Kissed a Mermaid

War is over and shepherd god Carmilla can’t wait to go home to her wife. Sumerian god au. The Shepherd God

Orphan Laura falls in love with witch!Carmilla and chases after Carmilla when she runs. King Arthur au. Sword In My Stone Heart

The gods disappeared and Greek demigod Laura demands Sumerian demigod Carmilla help her save them. Daughter of Love and War

Science Fiction Fun - time travel and space and oh my!

Carmilla’s time machine keeps taking her to a small human child. When Carmilla stops coming back, grown up Laura stows away. Time Travel Malfunction

After graduation, bffs Carmilla and Laura take their spaceship on a roadtrip with definitely no pining. Roadtrip To the Stars

Captain Hollis is forced to let cocky co-pilot Carmilla join her starship crew as she tries to stop black holes from devouring the universe. Star Filled Memories

Cops or Superheroes Au - nothing like a good bout of crime fighting and a mystery to get flirty Hollstein roaring to life

Laura as a detective and Carmilla as the flirty annoying writer following her around as they try to solve murders. Write Me A Murder

Laura who doesn’t have superpowers trying to navigate a school for the superpowered featuring asshat with superstrength Carmilla. Powerless

FBI agent Carmilla trapped in a bank/bomb heist and sending flirty notes to the hostage negotiator Laura. Don’t Let Go

Supervillain Carmilla and superhero Laura being arch-enemies and yet their alter egos are roommates. Beneath the Boots and Leather

Special Agent Hollis would have an easier time getting through the laser field if her annoying partners wasn’t so flirty. Mission Flirtable

Vampires know there’s no such thing as superheros. Laura didn’t get the memo and she’s now Carmilla’s problem. Not a Superhero

Fire Princess Carmilla has flames at her fingertips and still isn’t ready for her air-powered roommate. atla au Fire In My Veins and Air in My Lungs

Star Reporter Laura is determined to get an interview with Superwoman if only her incompetent partner Carmilla stopped getting in the way. At The Daily Planet

Batwoman doesn’t have time for dating even if Wonder Woman ‘call me Laura' makes her heart flutter. No Dating For Batwoman

Could Be During Canon? - Trying to fit stories inside the world we love

Reincarnation AU where Carmilla's vampirism allows her to die and then come back to life 9 times. Nine Lives to Die

Carmilla plans a date after Laura asked her to the Zeta party. s1 Date Like it’s 1698

Each episode written in an extremely snarky tone in Carmilla’s diary. Dear Creampuff

Countess Karnstein is looking for the partner who dances in step with her. The Right Partner

Laura is the girl who cares and Carmilla doesn’t know what to do when she stops. s2 story. A Question of Caring

8 times Laura uses a Bandaid and 2 times she doesn’t. Stick an Apatosaurus to My Heart

Even though Laura’s dead, alt-Carm keeps hearing her heartbeat everywhere she goes. Floating Through A Stone Wall

Laura breathes until she doesn’t. Carmilla doesn’t breathe until she does. With Human Breath

Hollstein gets trapped in the s2 cellar with a magical snowstorm raging upstairs. Cuddling for warmth. Colder Than Our Hearts

Hollstein says hey a lot. It’s kind of their thing. A look at all seasons and the movie and what that word means. Hey

Canon Alternatives - twists on the way it went

Carmilla dies from the Dean’s sword and Laura brings her back, binding them together forever. The Golden Heart of Paris

Laura gets her heart back but doesn’t wake up so Mattie comes to her with a deal. Hold Her Hand

Danny is dead and the the campus is gone and Laura Hollis has had enough of people dying in her name. An Explanation for Deification

Laura saved them all from Vordenberg but paid a price Carmilla wish she hadn’t to channel a god’s power. Behind Your Ancient Eyes

Laura had meant to do romantic things for Carmilla, she’d just thought they’d have more time. I Meant To Do That

LaFerry fic where Laf is a ghost and keeps stealing substance from Carmilla so that Perry can touch them. Define Death

Saving Laura to be the only reason Carmilla would ever willingly get back inside the coffin. Coffin of Starlight

Barely friends Carmilla and Laura literally glued together including obligatory shower scene. The Sticking Incident

Mircalla’s doesn’t remember her past but her next client looks familar and, instead of taking her ‘services’, just wants to talk. Find You In the Dark

One Carmilla was bad, Laura has no idea how to handle 2 version of her ex girlfriend when they’re stuck in the library. Split Personality, Literally

Laura has amnesia but is thrilled to find out the hot vampire by her bed is her wife. Absolute jackpot Wake Up With a Hot Wife

Carmilla’s soul is trapped in the pit and Laura and the scooby gang have to figure out how to put her back together. Colours of A Soul

After Canon Ends - what could happen next

Post Movie Hollstein and their daughter go looking for the fountain of youth. Retcon the retcon. Family Trip to the Fountain

Papa Hollis gives a speech at a Hollstein wedding that gives all the feels as he tells Laura’s life story. That’s My Daughter

Vamp Laura going through a photo album and telling stories about her adventures with Carmilla. A Live Well Lived

Laura, her father, and eventually Carmilla leave letters on Laura’s mother’s tombstone. Until We Meet Again

Mortal Laura and immortal Carmilla trying to figure out their lives and how to handle forever. Dandelion Promises

Vampires can’t go inside churches but Carmilla still likes to listen to the bells. Laura follows her. post movie. Monstrous Grace

Laura leaves a letter for Carmilla to give to all of Laura’s reincarnations over the centuries. The One Who Loves Her Next

Pregnant Laura has weird 2am cravings for Carmilla to try and fill. 9 Months of Mustard

Musical Hollstein - Trying to write melody with words

Tired world class musician Carmilla gives beginner Laura lessons and falls a little bit in love with her and the music. Teach Me to Play

Carmilla’s sent to interview her ex, pop star Laura. It’s been years and Carmilla can still see the brokenness her mother put on Laura’s face. To Hope Beyond an Unfinished Melody

Coffee Shop and Cooking Hollstein

Laura moves in with the hot coffee barista she has a crush on it’s both the best and the worst. Coffee Cupcake Crush

Laura can’t make coffee but she can set up all her customers with each other, the only person she can’t find a match for is fellow barista and ‘cupid-in-crime’ Carmilla. The Ultimate Coffee Shop Au

Angsty chefs Hollstein run a cooking show but when things get hot in the kitchen, they become secret exes with benefits. Cooking With Hollstein

Human Hollstein - Nothing supernatural. Just our girls being cute.

Billionaire playgirl Carmilla can’t bring herself to be a playboy when it’s Laura she’s taking as her date. Read The Carmilla Karnstein Special

Laura sees a girl on the subway but couldn’t speak to her so writes a ‘missing person’ ad instead. Missed Connections

Aggressive salesman Laura sells girl scout cookies with tiny Laf and knocks on Carmilla’s door. Just Buy the Cookies

Adorable sticky note conversations between broody Carmilla and the girl on the day shift who stole her mug. The Mug Thief

Drunk Carmilla comes into Laura’s tattoo shop and demands a tattoo on her butt. Tattoos and Bikinis

Laura literally falls into Carmilla’s lap on the bus and a spunky older gentleman gives love advice. Strangers on a Bus

Laura’s not very good a camping and the night’s cold when your tent collapses, might have to share sleeping bags. To Build A Tent

Librarian Karnstein enjoys annoying Professor Hollis by rearranging the books to see her scrunched nose. Librarian Hottie

Laura signs up to be a toymaking Christmas elf but gets a grumpy partner who hates making toys. Christmas Trains

Hockey player Laura is determined to get concessions booth worker Carmilla to love the skating rink. Cookies Cupcakes and Hockey Captains.

High School Hollstein Stories

Nerd Laura becomes the quarterback and only reluctant cheerleader Carmilla doesn’t change around her. A Classic High School Love Story

Laura is desperate for cookies and Carmilla ate them all after high school home ec. How to Avoid Kale

Hollstein neighbours shoot nerf guns and marshmallow guns and water guns at each other. War of the Windows

Hollstein becoming friend in kindergarten and then grow up together while getting into all kinds of trouble. Loving Trouble

Hollstein with Animals - Fluffier than fluff because animals are fluffy

Reluctant dog walker Carmilla can’t say no to vet Laura’s requests to walk various animals so they get exercise. Puppy Dog Eyes

Pet Store worker Carmilla saves Laura after she kills Laf’s fish. Again and again. One Fish Two Fish

Carmilla’s cat to keep bringing home some mysterious girl’s underwear. Drawer of Lingerie

Carmilla’s cat gets Laura’s cat pregnant and Laura demands Carmilla co-parent the kittens. Bonus unexpected canoe. Kitten Kisses

Carmilla rescuing Laura from evil spiders in the laundry room. For Fear of Spiders

Playing With Words - Hollstein examined in a story

The story on campus before Carmilla reached room 307 told like Welcome to the Nightvale. Welcome To Silas

Writing the movie plot before the movie came out with Hollstein engagement and Ell closure. It’s Not About the Plot

Laura’s a baker, Carmilla’s a firefighter. An examination of what a Hollstein story really is. A Generic Carmilla Story

Detailing the 100 little ways Hollstein fell in love over the seasons. 100 Ways They Fell in Love

Soulmates - because who doesn’t love some soulmate Aus. Usually twisted from the typical soulmate version or an original idea

Tiny literal hearts to pop up every time Carmilla looks at Laura and all Carmilla wants is for Laura to NEVER SEE THEM.Love is Orange

The scars from one person to show up only on the body of their soulmate featuring a Carmilla who is scarless for centuries and a Laura who will only wear long sleeves. Scars Inside

Timer soulmate au where Carmilla meets a tiny five year old Laura on her first day of school and suddenly finds her timer has started counting down to the moment they fall in love. A Broken Pocketwatch

A mirror will let you see your soulmate every year on your birthday but everyone is convinced there’s been a mistake when 21th century Laura sees 17th century Carmilla in the mirror. The Mirror Between Us

Fairy Laura follows her soulmate compass through a jungle only to find a panther. Carmilla’s not interested in soulmates. Follow Your Arrow

Everyone is born with a soulmate marker to write the name of their chosen soulmate on their skin. Vampires don’t have ink. s1-3 We Chose Each Other

Child countess Carmilla wished on stars for a best friend and got an imaginary lion. Centuries later, child Laura makes the same wish and finds a panther on her doorstep. Wishing On Imaginary Stars

Carmilla has never seen color until the world starts flickering when a kid can’t find their mom. A Hint of Colour

You can hear the music of your own soul and your soulmate but vampire Carmilla can’t hear the music. After Ell separates them, can Laura find her again and again? In Every Universe You Are My Symphony

This has been a 3 year labour of love. The stories vary in length from about 2k to over 100,000k for a total of more than half a million words. Have suggested stories? Let people know! It’s a big list!

Hope you enjoy them and thank you for all of your support creampuffs! <3 Aria

#carmilla #hollstein #laura hollis #carmilla karnstein #runwithwolves #aria bauer #long post #masterpost

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Best Books of 2020

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In 2020, we needed good stories more than ever: To escape, even for a little while. To subvert and question the status quo. And to remind us of the joys of being human. The books listed below fall into one, some, or all of the above categories. We had our contributors select the stories that meant the most to them this year and polled you the reader to compile a subjective yet comprehensive list of some of the year’s best. Here are the books, organized by genre, that broke through the cacophony to mean something to our Den of Geek contributors—and to you—this year…

Quick note before we begin: Like many other areas of the media industry and economy, the independent bookstore industry was hit hard by the lockdown caused by the pandemic, as more people than ever flocked to Amazon to get their reading fix. If you are inspired to purchase any of the titles we gush about below, consider using Bookshop.org or other sites that support independent bookstores (especially Black-owned ones) to do so. They need your help more than ever!

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Best Horror Books of 2020

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s Mexican Gothic was the buzziest release of the summer – and with good reason. Her lush prose, descriptive settings and disturbing plot combine for one of the most compelling – and likely uncomfortable – reads you’ll experience this year. (If you love mushrooms, I’m really sorry in advance.)

Set in 1950s Mexico, the novel follows the story of the vibrant debutante Noemi, who must journey to a remote mountain village to check up on an ailing cousin, whose mysterious husband keeps insisting she’s mad. If you’ve ever read any Gothic literature before, you know many of the beats that come next: The isolated manor, the creepy servants, the dark dreams, the gaslighting, and the constant sense of rising dread. There’s even a cruel housekeeper that could give Mrs. Danvers more than a run for her money.

Moreno-Garcia uses nearly every conceivable Gothic trope to her advantage, telling a familiar tale whose often predictable elements still somehow manage to feel fresh and new. This is largely due to the deft way that the author weaves the political and the fantastical together, reckoning with larger issues such as racism, British colonization and Mexico’s fraught history with eugenics. A good story, well told, with more going on beneath the surface than one might expect.

– Lacy Baugher

Devolution by Max Brooks

World War Z author Max Brooks takes on Bigfoot in this excellent eco horror which comes with added resonance during a pandemic. Like in his zombie bestseller, Brooks approaches the story as if it were real—it’s the novel equivalent of a found footage tale with the events that befall the residents of isolated eco community Greenloop documented in the diary of our protagonist Kate. Greenloop is a remote idyll of smart homes powered by sunlight and waste and controlled by phones and tablets where deliveries arrive via drone, but when the eruption of active volcano Mt Rainier cuts them off from the rest of the country the groups survival skills are tested. The trouble is, most members of this wealthy community don’t have any. And that’s before the family of sasquatches turn up…

This is a violent, vibrant horror with carefully drawn characters and an escalating sense of dread. Though there is humour here Brooks manages to make the Bigfoot group scary rather than faintly ridiculous, while the mirroring of the devolving eco society and the rise in power and confidence of their feral counterparts is handled skillfully. Intercut with interviews and real life stories of broken boundaries between man and wildlife it’s a cautionary tale that tells us never to underestimate nature, be wary of an over reliance on technology and that humans have animal instincts too.

– Rosie Fletcher

Survivor Song by Paul Tremblay

Tremblay completed his infection horror Survivor Song long before the pandemic hit but the novel is unsettlingly prescient. An outbreak of a deadly and fast acting strain of rabies has swept the country. Citizens are told to isolate at home while hospital staff are vastly overstretched and are put at risk due to a shortage of proper PPE. But when Doctor Ramola hears that her very pregnant best friend Natalie has been bitten by an infected human she’ll do anything in her power to help deliver the baby safely.

This is an incredibly poignant road trip novel, of sorts, which takes place over just a few hours. It’s a love letter to friendship, an anti-fairytale and a careful character study drenched in Tremblay’s characteristic ‘sad horror’. One ‘interlude’ section, which features characters from Tremblay’s earlier work A Disappearance at Devil’s Rock, is so utterly devastating you’ll want a biscuit and an episode of Schitt’s Creek just to get over it. If Tremblay’s A Headful of Ghosts was his take on the possession subgenre, Survivor Song would fall loosely into the zombie category, though it’s likely to be the most gorgeous and literary zombie novel you’ll read all year.

– Rosie Fletcher

Southern Book Clubs Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix

Despite the slightly twee title, Hendrix’ latest is an evocative and often very frightening tale of a small town terrorized by a violent outsider. Based in the same world as his coming of age masterpiece My Best Friends’ Exorcism this tale is set in the 90s and focuses on the mothers of the small Southern town of Charlston: bored housewives whose work is often denigrated and overlooked.

At the centre is Patricia, who spends her time looking after a senile mother-in-law, almost grown kids and an ungrateful husband. She, along with neighbourhood friends, forms a book group who discuss true crime stories which provide handy knowledge and insight when Patricia begins to suspect handsome stranger James Harris is up to no good. Charleston is where Hendrix grew up so he paints the town vividly and with affection while acknowledging the oppressiveness felt by the women there, and the systematic racism experienced by the black community, whose children are disappearing and who are not being taken seriously.

Across his work from Horrorstor, My Best Friend’s Exorcism to We Sold Our Souls, Hendrix has proven excellent at writing women and girls. It’s no different here, where the Southern mums of Charleston are heroic and fearsome and their friendship is all powerful – if anyone can take on a vampire it’s them.

– Rosie Fletcher

Thirteen Storeys by Jonathan Sims

This extraordinary debut by Sims is a both a multi-genre anthology and an overarching haunted house story. Centred around the mysterious Banyan Court, a housing complex consisting of a thirteen storey luxury high rise and the poorly built and utterly decrepit affordable housing unit hidden behind it, the book introduces us to various residents or people connected to Banyan Court, each of whom receives a mysterious invite to a dinner party on the top floor hosted by the strange and reclusive billionaire who owns the complex. At the end of this party, we are told, the billionaire will plummet 13 storeys to his death, and none of the guests will have any recollection of what happened.

This is a very smart first book, showcasing Sims’ talent in a range of different horror styles and bringing multiple voices without ever feeling overcrowded. There’s the eerie tale of a little girl and her imaginary friend, who might not be as imaginary as you think, the loyal door man and his violent alter ego competing for supremacy and the art dealer who becomes obsessed with a strange painting. Characters interweave in pleasing ways building to a grotesque but satisfying denouement which ties all the stories together. Sims is an exciting new voice in horror who is definitely one to watch.

– Rosie Fletcher

If It Bleeds by Stephen King – READERS’ CHOICE

The people have spoken!

Stephen King is not only one of the greatest writers of his generation but also one of the most prolific, and nigh a year goes by in which at least one of his stories—either new or adapted—isn’t in the cultural conversation. This year, it was If It Bleeds, a well-rounded horror collection of four previously unpublished stories, including one that features King universe character The Outsider‘s Holly Gibney (in the story that gives the book its name). The novellas revisit many of King’s most popular themes, from supernatural cell phones to the cost of creativity, and manage to feel both modern and nostalgic at the same time. If It Bleeds hit bookshelves in April and, in the midst of the real-life horror that was the pandemic, the continued killings of Black Americans by police officers, and the American presidential election cycle, King gave us something gloriously fictional to be afraid of. Whether you’re a longtime King fan or have never read anything by the horror master, If It Bleeds is well worth your time.

– Kayti Burt

Best Science Fiction Books of 2020

Riot Baby – Tochi Onyebuchi

One of 2020’s most incisive works packed more power into a novella than a book thrice its size; and while its particular story has a dystopian feel, it is actually keenly of the moment: not just the current protests against incarceration and police brutality, but the vicious and violent cycles that imprison, murder, or otherwise cut short Black lives. In an NPR interview at the start of the year when Riot Baby was published, Onyebuchi discussed how well-meaning white people talk about broken systems, when instead Riot Baby concerns “a system working just as designed.” That is, a system that cannot be overturned except possibly by superpowered means—and even then, not always easily.

Ella has a Thing, an otherworldliness to her that allows her to glimpse the fates, positive and negative, of those around her; to astrally project across the country and into others’ minds; to control unimaginable forces. But she can’t break her brother Kev (the “riot baby” of the title, born during the 1992 Los Angeles riots) out of Rikers Island. She can’t stop him from getting arrested in the first place, struggling as an adolescent not to transmute her rage into her powers and hurt those she loves, even as her baby brother is targeted for the color of his skin.

That tension and futility drive this slim account of not just their lives, but of the Black experience, projecting back to the roots of their family tree and forward to the authoritarian near-future in which Kev struggles to build the foundation of the rest of his life. Riot Baby is brutal, but it still nurtures hope—and it’s a necessary read for well-meaning white people like me.

– Natalie Zutter

Star Wars: Shadow Fall – Alexander Freed

This might seem like an odd pick, as it’s the second in a tie-in trilogy, and not particularly accessible if you haven’t read the previous book. But I’m true to myself. This was certainly one of my favorite books of 2020, with the caveat that sometimes favorite means “heavy enough that it, artfully, made me extremely miserable.”

It’s not what you might expect from the generic title. I’m often fascinated by genre writers who try to tackle writing about aimlessness in genre, whether that be slacker heroes or the existential ennui faced by Alphabet Squadron between spaceship gun fights. It’s such a plot-heavy genre that writing about questlessness sounds very hard. And Shadow Fall has done that magic trick. To quote my own tweet, this book is about people who act on mistaken assumptions and concoct entire non-existent relationships in their heads and hurt themselves in fugue states. All of the relationships are intense, but splintered and sideways all the time. Each character is their own carefully defined brand of amoral and brittle. I’ve rarely seen awkwardness portrayed so well in a book without the story itself coming off as edgy and misanthropic.

It’s also a good adventure story, with set-piece battles, a mysterious cult, and a genuinely surprising take on how the Force works from a series that isn’t at all about Jedi. Start with the first book, Alphabet Squadron, don’t mind that title either, and make sure you have some calming tea ready.

– Megan Crouse

Sex Criminals Vol. 6: Six Criminals by Matt Fraction + Chip Zdarsky

Really, this is celebrating the end of Image Comics’ raunchy-yet-surprisingly-heartfelt series about Suze and Jon, who find out they share the same gift: Their orgasms stop time. So, of course, they start robbing banks—only to discover that it’s not just them with this gift, winding up on the lam from the Sex Police. But rather than treat this audacious premise like a fleeting dirty joke, Fraction and Zdarsky built out a deceptively simple metaphor into a thought-provoking exploration of lust-versus-love, money and class, the chasm between finding someone who “gets” you in the bedroom but not outside of it. With cheek and heart, they boiled all this down to Suze’s refrain of “This fucking guy” that makes me tear up every time I read it.

And it wasn’t all just bodily fluids and dangly bits—Sex Criminals also consistently delighted in pushing its own envelope in all things meta. Drawing in post-it notes to obscure the Queen lyrics they couldn’t get the rights to for a scene they’d already drawn; a sequence in which huge dialogue bubbles physically knock extras out of the way; even turning Fraction’s anxiety attack about writing a key scene between two female characters into its own mini-comic—this team often turned their probing gaze on themselves.

In the Sex Criminals universe, robbing banks was small potatoes, foreplay even—the final volume ascends beyond the initial crime, transforming into a treatise on grief and time and retreating into memory. As the final issue posits, take any significant moment between two people and you have to expand the frame, to look at every single other person who brought these two together, whether for a one-night stand or “to have and to hold.”

In fittingly 2020 fashion, the series concludes bittersweetly, but the final moments come back full circle to where the series started: wanting to prolong that particular pocket of time and space in which it’s just you and your person, the rest of the world be damned.

Yet Sex Criminals’ greatest legacy is that it’s not the last comic to delve into the intersections of sexuality and science fiction. Vault Comics’ Money Shot, from Sarah Beattie and Tim Seeley, is a clear successor with its story of underfunded scientists having sex with alien species in order to subsidize their interstellar teleportation research. As another series about copulating to undermine capitalism, Money Shot carries on the horny torch that Fraction and Zdarsky lit way back in 2013.

– Natalie Zutter

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey

Queer western speculative fiction. Need we say more? Sarah Gailey, author of Magic for Liars, is back with an all-too-brief tale of Librarians, the only truly free women in this version of the American west, and Esther, a stowaway escaping her small town and plenty of secrets. Nothing is as it seems, including those running the book wagon – one’s a trans guy with they/them pronouns who must masquerade as a woman for his own safety whenever authorities or other prying eyes are near.

While the noir of Magic for Liars made that world feel inevitably dark, Upright has a more hopeful outlook and a wide-open setting that feels full of possibilities, even as the Librarians make their way delivering books in the kind of dystopian setting you might find in The Handmaid’s Tale or The Grace Year. In a year so full of doom, the Librarians are capable and even swashbuckling in their adventures, teaching our newcomer narrator and maybe even making her swoon with their swagger.

– Delia Harrington

The Resisters by Gish Jen

In AutoAmerica, a not-so-distant future where everything is connected to artificial intelligence and the have-nots are meant to be good consumers and nothing more, a young Black-Asian woman with a gift for pitching baseball becomes the eye of the storm when her country decides to bring back the national pastime and compete in the Olympics.

Come for the underground baseball league, stay for the sly pop culture references. The world is built out so fully that the inevitable movie or limited series version of The Resisters might even be better than the book – blasphemy, I know, but so many concepts and kinds of tech are dropped in that a showrunner and crew would have a field day bringing to life.

It’s rare these days for a man to narrate spec fiction, and he certainly has the least interesting story here, but perhaps he has the best vantage point to admire his talented wife and daughter, the former a lawyer who repeatedly takes on Aunt Nettie, a defiant nickname for the government-backed AI who runs their lives, and the latter, a young woman who was raised in a defiant household, whom he hopes won’t fall for the allure of Aunt Nettie’s promises.

– Delia Harrington

Best Fantasy Books of 2020

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik

In a year where we are all struggling with how we feel about Harry Potter and its complicated legacy, Naomi Novik’s A Deadly Education has arrived to offer us an entirely different and thoroughly exciting magical boarding school tale. The first in a trilogy dubbed “The Scholomance” after the magical school at which it takes place, the story is sort of like Harry Potter’s dark twin, featuring a difficult female heroine, a unique magical system, and a very dark take on the world of teen magicians. (Plus, it features the sort of effortless, matter-of-fact diversity that more authors – both YA and adult – should emulate.)

Galadriel “El” Higgins is a powerful, potential dark sorceress in her junior year at the Scholomance. Here, students must fight for their lives from the moment of their admission against the horrifying monsters known as malificaria that roam the school halls trying to eat them on their way to class and graduation is simply a test of who can escape a roomful of the largest and deadly creatures in the school. El is powerful enough that she could probably wipe out all of them on her own, but she refuses to embrace her natural affinity for dark, potentially world-destroying spells – no matter how many of her fellow students think she already has. Novik’s prose is as propulsive and fun to read as ever (consider this an additional, belated plug for her icy fantasy Spinning Silver) and A Deadly Education manages to put a fresh spin on what otherwise might feel like a staid, overdone setting. From its prickly heroine to the very real stakes that surround her classmates – most literally won’t live through final exercises – there’s so much here that feels unexpected and new. The sequel cannot come fast enough.

– Lacy Baugher

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow

It’s rare that a story truly feels like magic, but such is the case with Alix E. Harrow’s lush and enchanting The Once and Future Witches. Part period piece, part celebration of sisterhood, and part feminist manifesto, the story is a love letter to women of all kinds, everywhere.

Set in an alternate version of America in the late nineteenth century when witching of all kinds is banned, this is a story about three sisters finding their voices and staking a claim to their own futures. It is also about accidentally summoning a magical tower and returning witchcraft to the world, healing the rifts between sisters and exposing the cracks between people who claim to want justice, but who actively work to oppress others. And it is about the power of community – the great things that can happen when women honestly see one another, support one another, acknowledge the challenges inherent in saying yes to help, and work together to make the world a better place. Isolation is dangerous, both for ourselves and the world we inhabit, and this is a novel that will make you want to call your personal coven and thank them for being there when you needed them.

Once upon a time, there were three sisters and they starred in a remarkable book, full of fairytales and folklore and old stories made new. In 2020, perhaps more so than ever, the idea of once and future resonates more strongly than it ever has before, the people we were and are, and what we might become – but only if we hold on to each other along the way.

– Lacy Baugher

The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart

Multi-perspective fantasy novels are all the rage right now, but Andrea Stewart’s The Bone Shard Daughter is truly something special. Not only does it deftly weave what initially seems like five separate stories together into something powerful and thrilling, the novel contains precisely the sort of compelling characters and rich worldbuilding that make this genre so much fun to read in the first place.

The first installment in the “Drowning Empire” trilogy, The Bone Shard Daughter is set in a sixteenth-century kingdom comprised of migrating islands that float through something called the Endless Sea. A story of empire and identity as much as it is a story of magic, the book at first follows Lin, the heir to the throne of Phoenix Empire, or, she will be as soon as she has proven she can properly use bone shard magic.

It’s this central magical system that makes this book so compelling – it involves commands being etched on pieces of human bones harvested from the general public in annual trepanning ceremonies, which are then used to power “constructs,” chimaera-like beings cobbled together out of various animal parts. If that wasn’t creepy enough, these shards literally drain the life energy from their doners to keep the constructs alive, a sort of human battery system that is horrifying to witness. (Especially when it appears that many of the more complex constructs have something like sentience of their own.)

Creepy and thoughtful, The Bone Shard Daughter grabs your attention from its opening lines, dumping you in a complex tale with lots of moving pieces that only gets messier as it goes on, and expects readers to keep up. For those who can manage it, it’s more than worth the journey. (And did I mention there’s a magical aquatic cat?)

– Lacy Baugher

The City We Became – N.K. Jemisin

Jemisin is a master of fantasy world-building, and she turns that eye to the real world in an unsubtle, masterful New York City under attack by lovecraftian horrors. Funny, weird plot twists abound. This book starts with someone screaming on top of a roof, beautiful mystical singing from his point of view, and a neighbor yelling at him to shut up. There’s a musical beat through the whole thing, and all the ways that music can be added to or enhanced by the city noises all around it.

Along with living in the city herself, Jemisin meticulously researched its history and quirks. She’s great at digging into detail, but also knows when to go broad, adding pop culture and references that seem obvious in hindsight but not too goofy to maintain the tone of the story. It’s fast-paced, especially toward the end.

This is distinctly a novel for today, talking about racial tension from a variety of perspectives, and addressing the kind of harassment that comes with those conversations. It’s a snapshot for what’s been talked about on Twitter, what’s being talked about in art galleries and publishing houses. And it’s a snapshot of the city — kind and cruel, raucous and serene. It probably helps that part of this book made me feel some rare home state pride.

– Megan Crouse

The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood

The Unspoken Name by K.A. Larkwood sets itself apart in two major ways: its setting and its characters. Priestess Csorwe is fated to be sacrificed to the eldritch god her people worship. But when she’s rescued from that fate with a wizard with ambitions of taking over a kingdom, she becomes a servant to a different master entirely — and has the chance to become far more than a sword-wielding minion. (There’s some cool sword-wielding too.)

Surrounding her are people motivated by power, ambition, the unknown, the experience of living always in the shadow of the unknown and their sense of what is known becoming askew because of it. It’s about emotional abuse and people who want things and people they shouldn’t and can’t have. At the core is Csorwe, refreshingly straightforward but wonderfully complex in her own way.

This story plays out in a world the author describes as an “eerie hyperspace labyrinth” that also does great things with some more familiar, but under-explored fantasy elements like flying ships and orcs. Full of strange magic and fascinating creatures, it’s truly inventive. The world may have orcs and elves, but it never feels derivative of the fantasy greats. In more ways than one, this is a book that exemplifies what secondary-world fantasy can be in 2020.

– Megan Crouse

Wicked as You Wish by Rin Chupeco

It’s a rare thing when I encounter a novel that feels as though it’s written exactly for me. The first time this happened to me was when I (belatedly) read American Gods. Wicked as You Wish is the second book I’ve ever picked up where I immediately felt as though I were the target audience, and the story was just for me.

The story opens with the budding friendship between Tala Makiling Warnock, a girl who can nullify magic, and Alexei Tsarevich, heir to the throne of Avalon, in hiding after a terrible spell froze his kingdom. The Makilings are allies and protectors of the throne of Avalon, and Tala’s family is dedicated to keeping Alex safe—at least until his sixteenth birthday, when the Firebird will arrive and help him come into his powers. But the Snow Queen of Beira, Avalon’s enemy, is eager to finish the war she started, and Alex is keeping secrets of his own.

Rin Chupeco’s world draws on mythological and literary traditions including Wonderland, Oz, and Tala’s Filipino magical heritage, blending them into world building that’s contemporary and relevant (there’s a scene with ICE—at the behest of the Snow Queen facing off against Tala’s immigrant family). And while the book is marketed as YA and would certainly appeal to that audience with it’s predominantly teenaged cast, Chupeco’s sophisticated third-person omniscient narration gives readers insight into the motivations of the adults, who come through as strong leading characters as well. It’s an incredibly smart fantasy novel, and if it requires a little work to keep up with the worldbuilding and twists the story takes, it is absolutely worth the effort. The next book in the series cannot come out soon enough.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee

Yoon Ha Lee is better known for writing stories in space than fantasy, but based on his blending of space and mythology in his middle grade novel, The Dragon Pearl, I’d been looking to his first fantasy novel. I was not disappointed. Phoenix Extravagant follows Jebi, a non-binary painter trying to succeed in an occupied nation; when trying to assimilate gets them thrown out of their house by their sister, and fails to get them a well-paying job they’d applied for, Jebi’s at a loss. Jebi has no desire to work at the Ministry of Armor, aiding the war effort that continues to oppress their people by painting the magical commands for automata. But the Minister leaves Jebi no choice: join, or their sister—who, unknown to Jebi, is a revolutionary—will pay the price.

Jebi’s gift for painting allows them to communicate with a dragon automata, who was painted with pacifist instructions, and the two make plans to escape the conflict all together. Lee’s story tackles themes comparable to Peter Tieryas’s “United States of Japan” trilogy and Arkady Martine’s A Memory Called Empire, especially in the way both of those series look at ideas of assimilation and the justice—or injustice—of dues one pays to their government. Lee gives no clear moral answers in the tale—Jebi’s sister seems to prioritize revolution over family, Jebi’s lover has killed people Jebi cares about, and the antagonist may have valid reasons for his evil plots—and that’s part of what makes the story so compelling to navigate. The novel is planned as a standalone, but I’d love to read more set in this world.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse

Reading Black Sun was like opening a new door in my mind. This is an epic fantasy series opener, and a lot of the tropes are familiar, but they’re all presented with different structure and framework–enough so that the novel feels like something entirely new. The story centers on Serapio’s journey to the homeland of his mother, where a bloody destiny awaits him; the efforts of Sun Priestess Naranpa to revolutionize her priesthood and make them more relevant as true servants uplifting the people of her city; and Xiala a ship captain whose supernatural origins make her both feared and targeted, but whose earthy attitude grounds the story. While Naranpa and Serapio are set up by the cosmology to be enemies, Roanhorse depicts them both so sympathetically that readers will hope for both of them to survive–and thrive–despite whatever fate has in store for them.

Roanhorse draws on indigenous American and Polynesian cultural and physical geography, which makes the world feel rich and new in a genre that has traditionally drawn on classical or feudal Europe for its influences. Using language that tends toward poetic, she plays with time, so that the narrative moves backward and forward around the events rather than in a linear fashion, which means the reveals of the narrative come not as the story progresses, but as readers progress through the story. Don’t be surprised to see this one on all the award lists in 2021.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

A girl makes a deal with the devil to live forever, and is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets. It’s the kind of premise a book could coast on, but V.E. Schwab has never been a coaster. From the very beginning of her career, the 33-year-old fantasy author has elevated engaging plot with unforgettable prose, resulting in stories that stick with their readers long after the book has been closed.

With The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, the story is a particularly ambitious one: spanning 300 years, from 18th century France to modern New York City, we follow Addie as she learns how to live an existence in which she cannot hold a job, cannot rent an apartment, cannot have relationships. “We tell these immortality tales of men where all of a sudden they’re immortal and it’s just like, go get rich, go have fun, go have 100 mistresses and just sleep your way through eternity,” Schwab told Den of Geek earlier this year. “But women would never have that option.”

But this is not just Addie’s story. It also belongs to Henry, the only person Addie meets in three centuries who can remember her. Henry is a millennial living in New York, living with mental illness. In a story whose only other two main characters are an immortal woman and a devil, Henry is our human.

Ultimately, like so many of Schwab’s books, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue is not quite what you expected: romantic and Romantic, modern yet classic, Addie was one of the unforgettable books of 2020.

Best Young Adult Books of 2020

Ruthless Gods by Emily Duncan

Emily Duncan’s “Something Dark and Holy” trilogy is everything YA fiction is not supposed to be: Dark, frightening, unsettling, and very, very bloody. Its second installment, Ruthless Gods, is a complex tale of war, betrayal, and heartbreak – a story that is not particularly hopeful, gory in a way this genre is rarely allowed to be, and populated by heroes who are often anything but.

The novel follows three lead characters: Nadya, a young mystic who talks to gods but can no longer hear them; Serefin, a king whose country has long been at war with Nadya’s and whose life and consciousness are no longer entirely his own; and Malachiasz, a deeply disturbed boy who either wants to destroy the gods, become one himself, or something in between. Over the course of the story, their lives become intertwined on what feels like a cosmic level, as politics, religion and the very survival of humanity collide.

Duncan’s prose is rich and lush, full of gorgeous descriptions of eldritch nightmares and frightening visions, with a fair amount of body horror thrown on top. For YA fans, this is a series that is unlike most anything else you’ve encountered this year.

– Lacy Baugher

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow

There aren’t a lot of books I read this year that captured the feel of 2020 as well as The Sound of Stars. There’s no pandemic in this book, but the alien invasion that results in humans being locked inside their apartment buildings, unable to socialize, their normal lives taken from them because the world outside just isn’t the same? I’m sure Dow never intended that to be a metaphor, but it worked for me!

The title takes its name from a fictional album performed by fictional band The Starry Eyed, whose media presence before the alien invasion provides a framework for the book. The story centers on Ellie, a black girl determined to help her human community escape through the illegal borrowing of books, and M0Rr1S (Morris), an Ilori labmade, responsible for vaccinating humanity to prepare Earth for Ilora habitation. Morris, unlike other Ilori, is emotional, and loves music; immediately Ellie intrigues him with her bravery and willingness to risk everything for the sake of stories. When he enlists her to steal hidden music for him, their uneasy friendship begins, and as the stakes get higher, Ellie and Morris travel across the country on a mission to save humanity.

The story is fantastical and earnest and hopeful, and it was especially wonderful to experience in the audio production, which featured two excellent voice actors telling the story of stories and music and love.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

“I know the exact moment of inspiration for [Cemtery Boys],” Aiden Thomas told Den of Geek about his YA debut. “[A Tumblr writing prompt asked], ‘What would you do if you summoned a ghost and you couldn’t get rid of it?’ And you see people commenting and stuff and they’re like, ‘Oh, this super spooky, scary thing.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, but what if he was cute?'”

Cemetery Boys is not only breaking new ground when it comes to explorations of trans identity and Latinx culture, it’s also a delightful read. The story of Yadriel, a trans teen boy determined to prove himself a brujo to his traditional Latinx family, Cemetery Boys has the best inciting incident: Trying to get answers about his cousin’s mysterious death, Yadriel attempts to summon the ghost of his cousin. Instead, he summons the (cute) ghost of school “bad boy” Julian. Julian has some questions of his own he’s looking to answer and, when he refuses to leave, Yadriel’s mission gets a little more complicated… especially once Yadriel realizes he might not want Julian to go.

Romantic and hilarious, sweet and suspenseful, Cemetery Boys has so much to fall in love with: from its diverse cast of characters to its vibrant and complex world. Thomas wrote the novel, in part, so that young, marginalized readers would have a story not only to escape into but also “where they see themselves as being incredibly powerful, supported, but very importantly, being loved.” Cemetery Boys is a gift to us all, and a reminder of what is possible when the still far-too-inaccessible publishing industry lets more people in.

“No, it wasn’t the end. It was a better beginning.”

Best Non-Genre Books of 2020

The Darling Killers by Sarah McCarry

Over the summer, mere weeks into lockdown and in the phase of the pandemic where it felt like you couldn’t trust anyone or anything outside of your precarious bubble, author Sarah McCarry began serializing her latest novel The Darling Killers via a weekly Substack newsletter. The sparklingly clever title tells you plenty, but in short, it’s a female-perspective Talented Mr. Ripley by way of Los Angeles’ glittery world of young adult authors whose mastery over words has earned them obsessive fandoms and access to the endless party life.

In the style of the best thrillers, this lush novel provided the perfect escapism as antiheroine Sofia Bencivenga arrives in LA and immediately falls in with a trio of talented, haunted writers: ethereal Alison, bitchy Judith, and charismatic Jaxson. Sofia goes from shadowing their weekly writing dates to conning her way into emerging-writer status, but when Alison dies under suspicious circumstances at one of Jaxson’s fabulous parties, Sofia has to pause in her pursuit of vicariously living through Alison’s life to consider its dangerous flipside.

It would have been enough for the book to skewer the particular cult of YA author celebrity, to mock how every supporting character nurses their own dreams of writing—or at least acting out—The Great American Novel. But McCarry also gets to the heart of yearning to create worlds and characters, the ache of writing-as-processing, the thrill of trying on other stories and lives—she grabs that heart out of your chest and shows it back to you, thumping obscenely but recognizably. Back when the rest of 2020 stretched out ahead of us, especially uncertain, waking up to each installment every Tuesday morning was one of the few things keeping me looking forward to the next week.

– Natalie Zutter

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Beach Read is perhaps the worst misnomer of any book title on this list, and the cover doesn’t help. The lead characters only go to the beach near their adjoining properties once, maybe twice! Emily Henry’s gem lies somewhere between romance and literary fiction, mirroring her characters’ work. In Beach Read, next door neighbors find themselves uncomfortably close – they can see in one another’s windows, when they’re both on the deck they can easily chat at normal volume – and of course their first interaction is fraught.

It doesn’t take long to find out they’re both writers – she, romance; he, literary fiction – and amid an argument about whose work is easier, a challenge to swap genres unfolds. Throughout the heat of the summer they teach one another about their respective genres and open up about their lives. It’s darker than the average romance – he’s writing about a cult where pretty much everyone died; she’s cleaning out her dead father’s home – but if you’re looking for something with adult sex/romance and adult relationships and emotional pitfalls in equal measure, Beach Read has you covered.

– Delia Harrington

Yes, No, Maybe So by Becky Albertalli and Aisha Saeed

In a year when politics was inescapable and inescapably miserable, Yes, No, Maybe So provided political escapism that soothed my soul in the form of a romcom about a state senate race. While the setup might sound contrived – two teens, a Jewish boy and a Muslim girl volunteer to knock on doors together and fall in love – the book itself featured well-drawn characters. Trading off narration by character and corresponding author, we learn about their home lives, friends, hopes and fears, why they’re invested in this race, and how they really feel about one another.

Taking place mostly during Ramadan, the book has some fun easter eggs for veteran canvassers and field staff while doing a decent job explaining some of the inner workings of a state-level campaign for newcomers. Anyone interested in getting more politically active will find numerous examples in the book of how to do so, and it certainly helps that as Jamie and Maya face their respective fears, they make getting involved seem easier to the reader, too. The book is incredibly earnest, tender and sweet, both about politics and their romance, especially under Jamie’s narration, but Maya and their circumstances bring in a dose of realism to help balance things out so it’s not too saccharine.

– Delia Harrington

What were your favorite books of the year? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Best Books of 2020 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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theperfectionists-pi · 7 years

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A theory has been brewing in my head the past few days that I'm going to do my best to put out there, even though my thoughts are kind of jumbled now lol. I just can't shake the shadiness of Ezra and Aria's relationship and now the mysteriousness behind Arias file. As we all know the story began with the Montgomery family in the pilot. The story has always seemed to revolve around them for some unknown reason. We even know now that immediately after Alison's disappearance the Montgomery family moved to Iceland for a year. We also know that Alison was seen talking to Byron the night of her disappearance and was blackmailing him. We also know Aria has, multiple times throughout the show, acted strangely or appeared to have some sort of A involvement. We also know that Aria and Ezra's relationship began in the pilot but we don't know much more of what went on previous to that. We do know now that he has been writing a true crime novel on Alison's disappearance. I have all this time been rooting for him to actually be a private investigator because of his spy equipment however I firmly believe now that he really is just writing a book. With all of this said, I will get to my point. The true crime novel "In Cold Blood" was written by Truman Capote. While not credited for her portion of the research, author Harper Lee assisted Truman in all of his research and some of his writing for this novel. If you don't know who Truman Capote and Harper Lee are or what the book "In Cold Blood" is about, you might want to read into it a little bit further. In short, the book in Cold Blood was about a true crime that happened on a farm in Kansas. Truman, also being famous as the author of "Breakfast at Tiffany's", went down to the crime scene and interviewed multiple people and did his own research to create this nonfiction crime novel. Harper Lee, also famous for her book "To Kill a Mockingbird" was best friends with Capote and, as stated before, helped him write this novel. If you don't see where I'm starting to get out with this, I am associating Aria with Harper Lee and Ezra with Truman Capote. Both are authors and have assisted each other in writing a book. And as previously stated, Ezra was working on a novel for the true crime of Alison's disappearance/murder. There have been numerous "Breakfast at Tiffany's" innuendos throughout the show. It was even stated that Alison reminded Ezra of Holly Golightly and she used it as an alias on one of her IDs. Now, in regards to the "To Kill a Mockingbird" references, this is where it starts to get very twisted and you almost have to read between the lines. It starts with Ezra teaching the class about the book To Kill a Mockingbird. I've always realized there was some sort of hidden meaning behind all of this but I'm just starting to put it into perspective. If you go back to episode 3 season 1 "To Kill a Mocking Girl", listen to the conversation between Byron, Aria and Ella very carefully. Byron is asking her a lot of questions about whether or not she likes her new English teacher. He goes on to tell her to read Harper Lee's biography if she likes the book "To Kill a Mockingbird" so much. He says reading the biography might inspire her to write a book (wow if that's not foreshadowing). Ella even chimes in a comment at one point about "it will make the father worship a little more clear". Did Aria idolize Byron until she found out about the affair with Meredith? We all know the affair was hard on her but maybe there's even more to it than we realized? Anywho back to the point. In the book "To Kill a Mockingbird" Boo Radley kills the man that is after the kids but Jem, being the lawyer's son, ends up taking the blame as his father would probably be able to get him off the charge easier than Boo, who has appeared to have some problems. Now this brings up the next piece of information I thought of. On Detective Wilden's board, a note was written in regards to the fact that Spencer would do anything to protect Aria. Now who do we know has a lawyer for a father? That's right, Spencer. Who also was once accused of Alison's murder and keeps having reoccuring dreams or hallucinations of blood splatters and holding a shovel? That's right, Spencer again! Now this might be far-fetched but based on the book references and clues that I am seeing I'm coming to the conclusion that there is a very good possibility that Aria is actually the one who killed the person in that grave that night and that Spencer is just protecting her but has repressed memories. Sound crazy? I kind of wondered too but who was seen talking to Byron that night? Alison right? Now with all of this, if Aria was already bothered by the fact of the affair and then overheard Alison blackmailing her father for money over it, what are the chances that Aria was completely enraged? Not only that but Aria also was holding a pink cup in the barn that night that was later found outside of the house that Jason picks up and drinks out of. This leads me to believe that Aria had left the barn whether it was shown or not. We already know Spencer had left the barn, but was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Maybe Aria saw this conversation between Alison and Byron go down and then tried to chase Alison down and ended up getting the wrong girl? Maybe Spencer was there and that's why Melissa was confused and assumed Spencer did it and buried the body? "Miss Aria you're a killer not Ezra's wife"... Guys, there has got to be more to this than just the Shana Fring murder. Mona said this in Radley before Aria killed Shana. While I know Mona is one amazing bitch, I really doubt that she was premeditating this. I firmly believe that she knew something about Aria that had already happened. Like I said in my previous theory about Aria's file, I really do believe that Aria murdered the person in the grave, but Ezra doesn't know yet. Seriously, if you think about it, what better twist to the story than Ezra writing a true crime novel (with Aria's help even), just like Truman Capote (and Harper Lee), only to find out the cold-blooded murderer was his fiancee, true love and wife-to-be....Aria.

#pll theories

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samsegrist · 5 years

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Twin Peaks Time Capsule

By Sam Segrist

May 21, 2017

Tonight, in less than half a day, I’ll be seeing something I never thought I’d see: a new episode of Twin Peaks. For fifteen years, there’s been an ache in my heart at the lack of resolution to the season two finale, which—for my money—is television’s greatest unresolved cliffhanger. Perhaps this is why I’ve grown fond of making a semi-annual vacation to this strange and beautiful mountain town which reminds me of my own home, Scottsbluff: a place of weird, desperate, flawed, good people. Repeated viewings never fail to allow me to savor the bittersweet quality of this enigmatic narrative puzzle, a 29-episode loop which compels viewers who fall under its spell to return to the scene of the crime, always just outside of the Martells’ estate, by the lake and the big rock, where millions of people can find, over and over again, the plastic-wrapped bouquet of Laura Palmer’s body.

Over the years, if there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it is that everyone who loves Twin Peaks has a story about when, where, why, and how they fell in love with the show. Mine was back in 2002, when I was working overnights as a telephone switchboard operator for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. I was a college student, spinning my wheels academically while finding out that working from midnight until 7 AM, while good for my grades, was not so good for my social life.

This job entailed sitting in front of a computer, with one other operator in the elevated cubicle behind me, waiting for an emergency call to come in or (usually) a false fire alarm. Most nights, nothing happened in the quiet call center of Nebraska Hall. I worked with two other nerdy, but nice enough, guys: a middle-aged David with a mustache who looked like Van Dyke Parks, and a guy named Clay, who resembled a much less creepy Jacque Renault.

There was a television in the upper corner of the call center that was always on. Back then on boring nights, we’d flip through channels to find something, ANYTHING, to watch that was remotely good. We found out Bravo broadcast two back-to-back reruns of Twin Peaks between the hours of three and five A.M. (Before this exposure, I had seen Dune, Blue Velvet, and Lost Highway, and, while they disturbed me, they didn’t hook me with the same fascination as Twin Peaks.) I can’t remember what my first episode was, but I do remember the odd magnetism of the show, how it pulled me out of the sterile cubicle environment and into its dream-world.

Going to work often meant leaving house parties-in-progress or Halo marathons with my roommates, but I looked forward to this mid-shift excursion when I hoped no calls or flashing lights would break the dream reality of the show. (“Through the darkness of future’s past/One magician longs to see/One chants out between two worlds/Fire alarm don’t interrupt me…”) The one-two punch of weirdness which I viewed every shift was compounded by the fact that I missed several episodes on my nights off. Over the course of several months, I saw every episode, but never in consecutive order. A few nights ago I was relating this to my friends Chelsea and Dylan (pronounced Dye-lan), and the realization struck me that I saw Episode 29 several times before realizing the finale, with Dale and the toothpaste and the cracked mirror, was the end of the show! I remember being somewhat mystified when I would show up for work on the next night only to be right smack back at the beginning with the pilot episode. My lack of context regarding the show’s history only added to the mystery and the yearning for resolution.

So, every two weeks, the show would start over, and I would tune in. Both David and Clay seemed to enjoy revisiting the show. I distinctly remember Clay exclaiming “Coop! I love that guy!” when Kyle MacLachlan first showed up on screen.

I eventually lost that overnight switchboard job because I realized I was missing out on too much college life while living at the Blue House. (I had called in sick so I could go on a date with a beautiful girl named Sarah. ((I remember us grilling shish kabobs at my drummer’s house.)) Someone at work somehow knew about this, squealed on me, and my boss figured they’d give me the benefit of the doubt, give me the chance to explain myself, but I was a no-call no-show the next night. D’oh! I guess I was so lovestruck I didn’t care about the consequences. No worries, though, it all worked out: my next job at Blockbuster was to be a much more significant place of employment, but that’s a subject for another entry…)

One thing which initially appealed to me about Sarah was her love of similar things dark and quirky, things like David Lynch. It was at one of the infamous Blue House parties where our conversation led us down this path. I figured any girl who was into Twin Peaks was all right in my book. I later found out her mother was a big fan from back in the day and had programmed her VCR to record the episodes. That’s dedication to truly can’t-miss-television back in the day! As the years go by, Sarah reminds me more and more of Norma, which I suppose makes me more and more like Big Ed. C’est la vie for sweethearts of the past…

It was sometime after that in the middle-aughts that a couple named Nick and Sara Arling invited me to their apartment for a biweekly Twin Peaks viewing. It’s funny, but I don’t remember meeting these two wonderful people at all; all I remember is how fun it was to go to their house in the Near South of Lincoln every other Sunday evening to watch three episodes with a group of people. This was how I also met a great young couple named Justin and Noel (pronounced No-elle). Years later, they would invite me to a Halloween party at their house where I met a stunning brunette named Stacy. I was dressed as a chocolate shake. She was dressed as Audrey Hepburn’s character from Breakfast at and was impressed when I complimented her on her Holly Golightly costume. (Any other schmoe could have just said “Nice Audrey Hepburn outfit.”) It was only later on, I realized how striking of a resemblance she had to Sherilynn Fenn BKA Audrey Horne. Funny how the love of a show can lead to love in real life.

One final thing about this Sunday Night Twin Peaks Club is that it was the first time I saw the entire series in chronological order with the Log Lady intros. The entire series was not yet available on DVD, so seeing the show in its grainy VHS was probably the closest I’d ever get to seeing the show the way it was originally seen.

To augment my love of the story, I hunted down the out-of-print books The Autobiography of FBI Special Agent: Dale Cooper: My Life, My Tapes and The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer. Besides being good reads, they were inspirations for how to write an epistolary story for my master’s thesis and first book.

In the spring of 2005 (or 2006?), I drove to Fairfield, Iowa to attend a weekend conference on Transcendental Meditation at the Maharishi University of Management to hear David Lynch speak. It was like getting to spend a weekend with an eccentric and groovy uncle, but perhaps the best thing that came out of it was I was able to ask him two questions during a Q & A which I then put on YouTube. You can check it at this URL (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1E5SJaXc30&t=87s) or by searching for “David Lynch Q & A on Season 3 of Twin Peaks “ to see what he has to say about my idea finishing Twin Peaks. Keep in mind, I never thought they’d ever actually make another season though!

One sticky point of contention, I’ve only ever seen Fire Walk With Me once. I was one of many fans who was disappointed that Lynch didn’t use the movie as an opportunity to finish the story. The cinematography is gorgeous, but it veers too far in tone from the delightful mix of the television show. I also find it way too disturbing, obscene, and unnecessary to actually see the rape scenes. Now that the new show is almost upon us, I worry the R-rated freedom Lynch will have will mean these new episodes will also be more darkness than light. Say what you will about censorship, but I think Lynch thrived under the limitations of broadcast television because there was a line he could press up against, but not cross. When there is no line, some creators don’t know when to stop…

Fast-forward to 2007-2008 and I was a first-year teacher in Omaha. I was so excited that the Gold Box, the complete edition of Twin Peaks was coming out on DVD that I spent more money than I should have at the Borders at 72nd & Dodge (R.I.P.) and watched them all with my girlfriend Rachel in my little one-bedroom apartment in the Old Market. That was a really hard year for both of us. I was woefully unprepared to teach children of poverty and she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life after graduating from St. Andrews College in Scotland. Though there was much tension and drama, I do believe we helped each other get through that year. One of the many things I love about this show is sharing it with people who’ve never seen it before, to see their reactions.

The last girlfriend I would ever watch it with was Abby in the fall/winter of 2008. Things were not going well with our whirlwind of a romance, and I remember sensing things were darkening and souring between us. As we neared the end of the show, there was a sense of an ending brewing. She didn’t know about the cliffhanger finale, and I remember her wondering aloud how the show could possibly wrap up all its threads in the last episode, but as soon as Episode 29 ended, it was like she felt like it was okay to end the relationship because we had concluded the business of our mutual vacation in Twin Peaks. It wasn’t meant to be, and that’s okay.

Fast-forward to Christmas 2014. My brother and I have an annual tradition which we picked up from our grandmother Betty where we send each other a list of potential gifts we’d like to get, not knowing which one will actually be chosen. This way we always get something we’re sure to enjoy, but there’s still an element of surprise. That Christmas was one of the best ever because my dear brother Mark got me the Complete Mystery box-set on Blu-Ray. (Hint, if you ever want to feel creepy, just run your finger over the front of the set and you’ll be able to feel the contour of Laura’s eyeballs through the blue eyelids. Who thought of that? Who greenlit that icky detail? I want to know.)

And then it was 2015 and the internet found out the rumors were true and the show was coming back. I suspected at the time (and still think) the whole “David Lynch is walking away from the revival because they’re not going to give him enough money to do it right” was a publicity stunt to drum up a fervor online, to measure just how many people care about the show coming back. I remember thinking, Oh, the dispute was about money? And now they’ve doubled the number of episodes from 9 to 18? I wouldn’t rule it out in this day and age of innovative and unorthodox market research, but I digress…

Once I heard they were bringing back the show, I thought it’d be fun for my wife Maddie and I to watch the show together, but she can’t get past the quirky cheesiness or kitsch of it all. She just thinks it’s a bad show and rolls her eyes. I hope she gives it another shot in the future, otherwise our trip together to Snolqualmie, WA to see the locations of the show will not be as much fun! Haha!

[When I think of the Giant’s warning that “It is happening again” I just think that’s such a cryptic and terrifying statement. What is “it”? When did it last happen? What happened? What was the result? Wait a second, the verb “happen” is in the present progressive tense! It’s occurring right now! When will it stop?!? J I’ll likely write about this at greater length later on, but I believe there is a Holocaust subtext to Twin Peaks, and something about the dark return of this show somehow anticipates and foreshadows the rise of Trump. That’s all I’m going to write about that today…]

As the big date of the return has drawn nigh, I’ve enjoyed listening to the vinyl reissues of the soundtracks and reading the 33 & 3rd book about Angelo Badalamenti’s score. It’s also been a treat finding out that cool students of mine like Caitlyn are interested in the series. I’m an (old) millennial fan, which means I only got into the show AFTER Twin Peaks mania. It’s a strange feeling to become so fanatical about something that was once SOOO popular which then became a weird cult show. I wonder what it will be like to revisit Twin Peaks: The Return in 25 years.

My most recent reviewing of the show happened this spring. I had the joy of watching it all with my sister Katie. She got hooked on the show like crazy. I’m glad we were able to watch the show together because in about a month she is moving to Alabama, and we may not ever live in the same town again, but we’ll have had this brother-sister bonding experience.

Anyhow, I’m cutting this real close, but the show will be live in about forty minutes! So I thought I’d wrap this up briefly outlining what some of my fears and desires and questions about the new show will be. I wonder how the show will maintain the atemporal vibe. Will there be cell phones and texting in Twin Peaks? How will they advance the story and resolve leftover mysteries from Season 2? I know Showtime probably wants the show in widescreen, but I feel like the 1.33 aspect ratio is practically a character or a force of nature in the show, forcing the director, cinematographer, and actors to compose every shot a certain way. I suppose what would be the best of both worlds would be if they stream/broadcast it in widescreen and then make a Blu-Ray collection where there is a full-frame option. I doubt that will occur, but you never know.

I know, I know it will never and can never be the same, but I am cautiously optimistic that Frost and Lynch will find a way to capture the magic again and transport millions of viewers to that sublime place we call Twin Peaks. In this age of Netflix-pioneered season dumps, I find it exciting that the Summer of 2017 will be ineffably tied to a weekly installment of this show, so that we’ll get the opportunity to watch each episode as they come out and then run to the Great Online Watercooler to converse with all the other fans. If the show is bad, I know I will not be able to unsee it, and I’ve been down this pop-cultural road before where long-awaited and unexpected returns/revivals/installments become bitter disappointments, which are sometimes so bad that they retroactively taint the way one thinks of the earlier work. (I’m looking at you, George Lucas.) It is for that reason I wanted to make this memory time capsule, documenting just how much this show has meant to me throughout these last fifteen years.

There’s less than half an hour until the new show starts. I was almost done when I got a call from my best buddy Zach. He recently watched all 29 episodes and didn’t know that the new season was about to start tonight. We’ve made plans to talk as soon as the premiere is over. I told him he’d be a part of this document. I like to think he and I have the kind of love for each other that FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper and Sheriff Harry Truman have for each other, and hey, we do!

So, now it’s getting dark and the trees are not stirring on this windless May night in Lincoln, Nebraska. All these words are now written down for posterity. They may not be wrapped in plastic, but they’re still beautiful. I know I will write about this show more in the future, but for now, I’ll just have to trust that I’ll see you in the trees.

#TwinPeaks

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tvobsessed96 · 6 years

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“Shades of Justice,” a CSI: Miami Rewatch: Episode 18

1x18- “Dispo Day”

CASE: An armed drug heist during what should have been a routine evidence disposal leads to an internal investigation to determine how the information was leaked. This is a rather unique episode in that the nature of the investigation puts the focus entirely on the characters. Episodes like this are rare for crime procedurals, because the writers are reluctant to stray too far from the formula. It think that’s stared to change in the 15 years since this aired, though. Luckily, the characters are by far the best thing about CSI: Miami. The investigation of the heist itself isn’t nearly as interesting as the character moments that come out of it. The final reveal that a reporter was the mastermind behind it all was kind of a neat twist, though.

CHARACTER: The family dynamic that had started to emerge in “Dead Woman Walking” is fully formed here. I love the very big sister way Calleigh reminds Speedle to clean his gun in the future. It comes from a genuine place of concern and affection. I also liked when Horatio gave him the gun cleaning kit as a late birthday present at the end. That was very sweet! This won’t be the last time Speed’s neglect of his gun will become important. *sobs quietly in a corner* Okay, moving on. Calleigh accidentally getting high on cocaine was kind of hilarious! I think the writing there could have been a little bit better, but it’s so amusing to watch that I can’t really be mad. The relationship between Calleigh and Horatio continues to be one on my favorite things ever! I love when he stands up for her! Speaking of relationships, I get that Delko being a bit of a player with the ladies is part of his character. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I just wish we wouldn’t write it in such a sleazy way. It makes it harder to appreciate the moments when he’s a genuinely amazing person. The final thing I want to mention is the ongoing mystery of Horatio’s brother. We get a bit more information in this episode. It’s confirmed that he was killed in the line of duty, apparently during a drug-related case.

CRAFT: This episode was written by Elizabeth Devine, Ildy Modrovich, and Laurence Walsh. Devine is credited with the story, while Modrovich and Walsh are credited with the teleplay. For the most part, I think this script is pretty good. There are just a few clunky bits. For example, there’s a moment where Calleigh says that Officer Hollis was “fatally killed” by a bullet. That really should have been “fatally wounded” or even just “killed.” One more draft would have fixed that. Unless it was a mistake on Emily Proctor’s part, in which case someone really should have caught that. Also, while I understand that the explanation of how the polygraph works was intended for the audience, it doesn’t really make sense within the story. Police department employees shouldn’t need it explained to them. I just have one more nitpick. It would normally annoy me that we have a brief flashback to something that happened earlier in the episode, but I’ll let this one slide. I think it provided some mostly necessary clarification as to when Calleigh inhaled the cocaine. This episode was directed by David Grossman, and I’m glad he’s back! The man knows how to shoot a quality episode of television.

Grade: B+

This is an immensely enjoyable episode! I like it quite a bit. Next up is “Double Cap.”

#csi: miami #csim rewatch archive

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martens-movie-reviews · 7 years

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Release Date: March 25, 2016 Running Time: 3 hours 2 minutes (regular cut is 2 hours 31 minutes)

“It’s been nearly two years since Superman’s colossal battle with Zod devastated the city of Metropolis. The loss of life and collateral damage left many feeling angry and helpless, including crime-fighting billionaire Bruce Wayne. Convinced that Superman is now a threat to humanity, Batman embarks on a personal vendetta to end his reign on Earth, while the conniving Lex Luthor launches his own crusade against the Man of Steel.”

Because of the anticipated release of Justice League on Friday November 17, I’ve decided to write reviews of all of the movies that make up the DC Extended Universe so far. There have been a lot of talks about how long this franchise will last, but as a comic book fan, and huge lover of movies, I never want movies to be bad. I’m hoping that it’ll be amazing. You can find the dates for when the reviews for the other DCEU movie will be released at the link here. I wrote the review for Wonder Woman around the time it came out, and it can be found here.

DC Extended Universe – Source: Warner Brothers Entertainment

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Trailer – Source: Warner Brothers Entertainment

Cast & Crew

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was directed by Zack Snyder, who I’ve already summarized his previous work and work since in the Man of Steel Review.

It was written by Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer. I’ve already mentioned Goyer’s work as well in the Man of Steel Review, as such I will go over Terrio’s work. Chris Terrio previously wrote the 2012 film ‘Argo’, and has since worked on the Justice League movie, the sequel to that movie will be released in the future, and Star Wars: Episode IX set to be released in 2019.

From Left to Right: Henry Cavill as Kal – El / Clark Kent / Superman, Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman and Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne / Batman – Source: Warner Brothers Entertainment

Cast includes Jesse Eisenberg, Amy Adams, Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Laurence Fishburne, Diane Lane, Callan Mulvey, Scoot McNairy, Holly Hunter, Gal Gadot, Jeremy Irons, Kevin Costner, Ray Fisher, Jena Malone, Ezra Miller, Michael Shannon, Lauren Cohan, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Review

I will start by saying that I find the idea of Batman and Superman fighting for any reason to be kind of silly, but I was interested in the idea. If this movie would have been just Batman v Superman, and not ‘Dawn of Justice’, I think that this movie would have been a much better film, and wouldn’t have split the audience as much. There were too many rushed storylines in the overall film, and making everything a little convenient, and stupid. They made Lex Luthor a joke for over half the movie, and then made him somehow have little surveillance clips that featured Aquaman, the Flash, and Cyborg that he had managed to get, implying that he knows everyone’s identity.