#a chaotic neutral himbo

[softquietsteadylove]

What about Thena was the one visiting Gil in the gym and then she saw him having a sparring with someone, maybe the sparring got a little personal and then she started worrying about him.

Gil shook his head, blinking after yet another hit.

"Why so distracted, Gil?" Ikaris asked with a frown, shaking out his own gloves as they circled each other. "I'm startin' to think you're letting me get these in for free."

Gil rolled his eyes. Ikaris was only this chatty when he was trying to blow off some steam. He guessed that was why he'd dropped by in the first place. "Y'know, some of us have day jobs. I've been at this all day, ass hole."

"Come on," Ikaris scoffed as Gil finally pulled his gloves up again. He immediately got his fists up, giving him a few taps, glove to glove. "The Gil I remember could go all day in the ring."

"The Gil you remember was twenty-something," Gil growled back. Ikaris was on break from the pro circuit, and obviously feeling restless about it, looking for a fight to exercise some of his excess energy. "He could go all day 'cause he had nothing better to do."

Ikaris threw a haymaker, followed by a swift uppercut. Gil blocked both easily. As much as his technique and reactions weren't what they used to be when he was still pro, he was still as strong as ever. "Oh, so you do now, is what you're saying."

"Shut up," Gil grumbled, throwing a few punches of his own, as much as his heart wasn't really in it.

"What's got the ol' grizzly bear finally on somethin' else?" Ikaris chortled, having entirely too much fun roughing Gil up for his own amusement.

"You come here to spar or did you just want a therapy session?"

Ikaris threw a suckerpunch straight down the centre, nailing Gil in the teeth.

Gil swiped his tongue around his mouth and walked over to his corner, spitting the blood into his empty water bottle. "That's what I thought."

"Y'know, I was talkin' to one of those gals from across the hall on my way in." Gil felt his blood run cold. "Real cutie--maybe you should chat up the other one some time."

Gil's mind flashed to the idea of Ikaris, leaning against the wall, chatting up Thena--his lovely Thena. Ikaris was always a real heartthrob of the league, always had fans, always had admirers. Gil felt his blood rushing in his ears.

"I think she liked m-" Ikaris stumbled back as Gil laid into him. That was the guy who was the strongest in their weight class by far--maybe the strongest in their league at the time. He held his gloves up. "Shit, Gil!"

Gil only saw red, focused entirely on the thought of Ikaris flirting with his girlfriend mere minutes before coming in here and challenging him to a 'friendly match'. He gripped Ikaris' hair, pulling his head up. "You leave Thena out of this."

Ikaris grunted. "Who the fuck's Thena?"

"Huh?"

Ikaris pried one of his eyes open, sure to swell terribly by the time they were done. "Name's Sersi."

Oh. He...he had been talking to Sersi. Which made sense, since Thena was probably still in the studio practising, while Sersi was the one who usually left on time with the rest of the class.

Ikaris blinked his good eye at him. "Gil, man, I don't know what you're on about. But I haven't even met the other one. If you're-"

Gil dropped Ikaris, unceremoniously at that. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pulling his gloves off. That was more than enough for today.

Ikaris grumbled as Gil helped him off the floor of the ring. "I didn't come here expressly to piss you off, believe it or not."

"Sorry, sorry," Gil murmured, helping Ikaris through the ropes and joining him on the bench. "Got a little...in my head."

Ikaris spat a little more blood into his own water bottle and raised a brow at Gil. "I saw the other one in the studio--blonde little thing? You and her...?"

Gil blushed, pulling out fresh water bottles for the both of them. "Something like that."

"I certainly hope it's more than 'something like that', Gilgamesh."

"Thena!" he blinked, looking up as she walked in with her usual lovely smile on her face. He stood, rushing over to her. "When did you come in?"

"I saw little of your fight, actually," she confessed to him. "I just peeked in to see what you were doing, and then I was worried about distracting you."

Gil fidgeted, guiding her by the shoulders further away from Ikaris' curious gaze. "That's okay. I'm sorry you had to see us going at it like idiots, though."

Thena smiled though, "I have seen plenty of fights backstage myself. I am no stranger to conflict."

Gil nodded. He didn't want to imagine what kind of damage ballerinas could do, if they all had the muscle strength and stamina that Thena had.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, raising a hand ever so delicately to the scuffs around where his headgear had been.

Gil chuckled, letting her take a feel for herself with her silky soft hands, actually glad for how cold they felt for once. "I'll be fine. Ikaris is an old friend from my pro days."

Thena glanced over Gil's shoulder briefly, nodding her head to the bloodied gentleman on the bench. She raised a brow at Gil, "that was what constitutes a friendly match?"

"Well," Gil shrugged, but left it at that, with no desire to admit that he'd completely lost it in a fit of jealousy. He took her hands in his. "You done for the day?"

She smiled up at him, nodding and letting him hold her hands, his warmth taking over the cold that she always seemed to have. "What about you?"

Ikaris stood from the bench, reaching for his bag and walking - more or less - in the direction of the changing rooms. "Don't let me keep you. Gil, I'll take y'out for a pint after my next match, aye?"

"Sure, man," Gil waved, actually grateful for Ikaris' miraculous moment of social awareness enough to excuse himself. He winced as Ikaris bumped into the wall next to the door a little, though.

Thena squeezed Gil's hand. "Perhaps I should tell Sersi your friend may be in need of a ride back to his hotel."

Gil chuckled. So, she had witnessed Ikaris chatting up Sersi, and perhaps the feeling was mutual between them. He felt as relieved as he did silly for worrying. "I think that's just what he needs. But what about us?"

"Us?" Thena gave him a coy smile. "Well, I thought we had plans for dinner at mine."

Gil leaned forward, pressing his face into her soft shoulder, inhaling her perfume. "That sounds perfect."

#Thenamesh Ballerina/Boxer AU #I love this au #I'm so glad people like it #Ikaris doesn't mean to be a dick #he's just...dumb #a chaotic neutral himbo #Gil is a lawful good himbo #peak golden retriever energy #he's going to get to lie on Thena's couch #with his head in her lap #so he's the real winner here

[thecoolergoj]

Shoutout to not just the lawful good himbos like Kronk, but also the chaotic neutral dumbass himbos like Jason Mendoza

A himbo that will throw a molotov with the doofiest smile ever is a treasure

#the good place #jason mendoza #kronk #emperor's new groove #alignment #chaotic neutral #tumblr #shitpost #himbos <3 #himbo

[nadhie]

thoughts

#I'm not doing an aligment chart bc I am really bad at making them but i was making a point to raya jajajaj #if i had to i guess tina would be with dream #ponk as well maybe neutral food #sam would be lawful good and c!sam lawful evil #foosh would be himbo #punz as well #one would be neutral himbo and the other chaotic himbo #my rambles

[sprite-writes-fanfic]

Hi!! Could I get some hcs of The 03 turtle boys with a gender neutral friend reader who’s a news reporter like older versions of April is, where the reader vaguely hints at oh I think Casey’s kinda cute so the turtles decide they gotta play wingman to their friends….!!

Thank you so dearly if you do end up writing some hcs for this scenario 💜

Okay I’m just gonna say, I love this and also I love that there are other people who like Casey LMAO (I love that giant ass himbo.)

Your Faithful Wingmen!

🖤🏒2003 Casey x Reader🥅💀

Word Count: 895

CW: gender-neutral reader, platonic relationship w/ the turtles, more fluffy and silly. Also BOOM, instead of headcanons, I figured why not do a whole fanfic of it, maybe sometime in the future I could make a part 2 to this, but I’ll save that for when proper motivation returns to me 😭

🖤🖤🖤

Being a News Reporter with big dreams, you were always looking for something new, something BIG that could rocket you into public recognition; and it was hard. You were just a local News Reporter doing smaller jobs, and it frustrated the hell out of you, understandably enough. Though it was a terrible idea to start looking into some serious stuff that not many covered, such as these break-ins and fights going on with mutants and these weird ninjas…

Going to investigate one night led you to being captured by the Foot Clan, and you certainly thought you weren’t gonna make it out. Luckily, you were proven wrong when four mutant turtles and a guy in a hockey mask saved you. Once everything cleared, your life changed forever, for the better of course.

Meeting the turtles, Casey, April and Splinter was probably the best thing that ever happened to you, not only that, doing a small News Report on ‘Mysterious Heroes’ definitely got you recognized, though some people thought you were crazy, most were definitely intrigued. 5 mysterious men in the night fighting ninjas? In New York? Things had gotten interesting.

After finally being skyrocketed, your private life has gotten more entertaining. Four mutant turtles as your friends? That’s sick! They were all fun to hang out with and they all had their own thing going for them, like Leo, the leader in blue trying to keep his brothers out of trouble, Raph, a turtle with major anger issues but has a soft heart, Donnie being a literal tech genius and a mechanic, and then there’s Mikey who was just the definition of chaotic good, the dude was crazy! April, she was a smart woman, and she was also easy to talk to, and you always felt comfortable with her. Splinter was like a father to you, and he had definitely helped you when you had some mental struggles… And then there was Casey. Oh, Casey was stupid and stubborn, but he had a good heart, and for some reason, this HIMBO, he ended up making your heart flutter and your face red. Somehow, this man, the man you sometimes bumped heads with and drove you up the wall, was the one that made you feel this way.

To say that nobody noticed was a lie, and guess who the first one was to notice? Yup, Raph. He was the one to notice that you were crushing on his good ole pal, Casey Jones, and was he gonna keep it to himself? Well, actually yeah, he was planning on it, until Mikey himself realized and went and told just about everyone, he’s a bit of a blabber mouth. Luckily, the turtles stopped him before he could go and tell Casey, and instead, Donnie suggested an idea…

Why not set up a blind date? Leo at first wanted to stay out of it, but with the continuous pestering, he finally gave in. Donnie was the one to devise the plan, Mikey and Raph would be the ones to bring you and Casey on this blind date, while Donnie and Leo worked on getting some hockey game tickets… Was a hockey game really the most romantic date? No. But would it bring Casey in? Absolutely.

And so they got to work, Leo and Donnie got the tickets, and Mikey got you, informing you that you were going on a blind date, and Raph dragging Casey, telling him he had a hot date at the hockey game. When you finally met up with your blind date, you were certainly shell-shocked when you realized it was Casey, and Casey, surprised you were his date.

Being given the tickets, the turtles wished you off as you and Casey would head off together to this game, albeit, you were an awkward and nervous mess while Casey was cheering for this game…

The turtles were certainly hoping for the best, and they were excited when Casey slung an arm around your shoulders and led you into the place to watch the game.

Internally, you were flustered, but happy, and Casey was the one to start up the conversation. “So… The turtles set us up on a date.” He starts, “Do you think they were just matchmaking or?” He glanced down at you, curiously, and you thought to yourself, ‘Well, I never told them that I liked Casey, but maybe they noticed? Or maybe Casey’s right…’ you looked back up at him, “Maybe? Either way, I’m not complaining.” Casey looked a little surprised, but smirked soon after, “You saying you like me, sweetheart?” Your face went red, but you took a deep breath and hit him back with the, “Well… Maybe I do? That a problem?”

Casey’s face softened as his cheeks reddened, his smirk turning into a smile as he stared down at you, “Not at all, maybe I do too.” As he led you to your seats and sat down with you. You were both quiet for a moment, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable at all, you were just both kind of thinking, ‘Wow he/they like me!’ And to say that you were both cuddling before the game started would be the truth. That didn’t last long though, since well, once the game started, Casey was getting excited and jumpy, and all you could do was laugh and cheer with him.

#sprite writes #fanfic #tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2003 x reader #tmnt 2k3 #2003 leo #2003 raph #2003 donnie #2003 mikey #fanfiction #2003 casey jones #casey jones #tmnt casey jones #tmnt casey jones x reader #casey jones x reader #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo

[daddy-dins-girl]

Pedro Boys "Feral/Sad/Angelic"

Thanks to everyone who provided their input on this one! I loved reading what everyone thought :)

Headcanons under the cut!

related posts: Pedro Boys "During a Fire Emergency" Pedro Boys "Nice Argument. Unfortunately," Pedro Boys "Don't Fuck This Up" Pedro Boys "Dad(dy) Matrix" Pedro Boys & Stabbing Pedro Boys "Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic" Pedro Boys Respond to "I love you." Pedro Boys "Character Tropes" Pedro Boys "Gay/Depressed/Horny on Main" Pedro Boys "Dad/THOT/Bastard" Pedro Boys "bring some Coke to the party" Pedro Boys "Zombie Apocalypse Team" Pedro Boys "I Want a Baby" Pedro Boys "As Babysitters" Pedro Boys "As McDonald's Dads" Pedro Boys "in a horror movie" Pedro Boys "Cinnamon Rolls" Pedro Boys "5 Kids, 3 Chairs"

Feral Disaster - Ezra. At the end of the day, there was only one person who could fit here. I originally had Max Lord here, but Ezra had to win out. This man is a walking one-armed dumpster fire and god do we love him for it.

Feral Himbo - Dieter Bravo. I don't think I even need to defend this spot for our belovedly unhinged himbo Dieter.

Feral Smartass - Max Phillips. IF Max was going to be on this board, he was always going to be in this spot. If you had to sum up Max Phillips in two words, these are the words you'd use, before "vampire" even came to mind.

Sad Disaster - Frankie Morales. There were a few suggestions to where Frankie should be (shoutout to @criticalarchitecture who said he'd either be an angel or a disaster, "depending on how recently he killed someone" - literally had me ROLLING). At the end of the day, our boy Frankie is a mess and we just want to wrap our arms around him and run our fingers through those curls, amirite?

Sad Himbo - Jack Daniels. Jack is... well, god bless him but this man is a himbo. "Tinder what now?". And he's sad because... well, we don't talk about that. Our poor cowboy :(

Sad Smartass - Javi P. Suggested by a few people and I couldn't disagree. Oh how we love that smart mouth of his... He's also a sad boy because, well, I mean, it's Javi. Poor guy needs a break. And maybe a nicotine patch.

Angelic Disaster - Marcus Pike. Look, I love my sweet baby boy Marcus but he's also proposing to someone after like 3 weeks who ends up breaking his heart so he's a bit of a disaster. Let me take your pain away Marcus... I'll treat you right ;)

Angelic Himbo - Javi G. Oh sweet, sweet Javi. Nobody can ever take this square from you, don't you worry babygirl.

Angelic Smartass - Oberyn Martell. Ok, Oberyn being an angel is certainly debatable, HOWEVER, in the realm of GoT, he's basically an angel. He only kills people who hurt him or his loved ones. Otherwise he just wants to bring pleasure to everyone ;)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #max phillips #agent whiskey #frankie morales #oberyn martell #javi gutierrez #javier peña #ezra prospect #marcus pike

[ashtxeman]

Punch-Out Relationship HC's!

I must clarify.. most of these are PLATONIC relationships! I'll get into the more fun stuff another time.. huhuhuhu. Minor Circuit

Joe and Kaiser are of course together, and have been for a few years now. Alongside this Joe's also great friends with Disco and a nice pal to Hippo when need be (he was previously afraid of Hippo but outgrew that fear).

Kaiser isn't one to make friends but is one to have a boyfriend ironically, who is Joe. He likes Disco and Hippo but only sees them as work friends, rather than personal friends. Hippos growls also tend to startle him, so he's always on edge around him.

Disco is super friendly and considers everybody a great friend, but Hippo is 100% his bestie.

Hippo returns the favour to Disco! He appreciates Disco for everything he does and values their friendship. He also likes Kaiser because he quite likes his moustache but isn't aware that Kaiser actually fears him quite a bit. With Joe, he's more of a work friend who he enjoys playfully mocking from time to time.

Major Circuit:

Hondo is on good terms with everybody, and isn't one to hold a grudge. He'll call everybody a friend at least, and that's true even for Don who he isn't as close to. Alternatively he's besties with Hugger, and even though he is good friends with Tiger he knows he's afraid of him deep down for some reason..

Hugger is like Disco in the sense that he just likes everybody! He thinks of all his fellow circuit members as great friends even if it isn't a mutual opinion.

Tiger is fine with everybody, except Don who he constantly argues with and the rest of the time just manages to tolerate.

Don has a sort of superiority complex over the rest of the circuit which weighs down his opinions on them, but he doesn't actively hate any of them.. he's just annoyed by Tiger 90% of the time and mildly inconvenienced by him the rest.

World Circuit:

Aran is obviously complicated for everyone. You love him, you hate him, or you're about to hate him. But he has opinions too! He tolerates Macho on the rare occasion he isn't loving him being the easiest boxer to tease and play pranks on, on account of his himbo-ness. He quite likes Bull because of how rowdy he can get, and as for Soda they bond quite well due to their shared interest in drinks. As for Sandman, Aran thinks he's too big for his boots but has learnt not to cross the line around him lest he get his ass kicked.

Soda is an overall nice guy who just likes everyone, considering everyone at least a pal to him. Bull is his bestie, and Aran is a close second.

Bull barely tolerates anybody.. except Soda. He finds Macho annoying, he finds Aran aggravating and he's just fine with Sandman, because he's quiet.

Macho is an odd fellow. He acts like he's above everyone else but in reality he often sees himself as an inferior person. When Bull is being Bull, he's terrified, but any other time he's just fine. Soda is good enough to meet his standards, and Aran makes him cry all the time so he's very low on the Macho list of recommendation. As for Sandman.. well, the cupid isn't far away from those two, let's say.

Sandman does his best to be nice to everybody outside of his work facade, but unfortunately some people make that very hard. He likes Macho when he volunteers to help with jobs (which is a weird amount) but finds it hard to attain that when he's.. being Macho. He finds Bull fine, but wishes he'd get his anger sorted, and he thinks Soda is a very nice man who doesn't get enough credit. Like anybody.. He lives his life with Aran in it just fine.

All:

Joe is obviously afraid of Aran, but Aran does go on to treat him better and he gets a little more neutral. As for Aran to Joe, he likes him because he's fun to tease.. but he also likes his cooking.

It's clear at this point, Aran and Hondo are besties.

^ This also goes for Tiger and Aran oddly enough! They have chaotic energy on opposite ends of the scale, and it balances out.

Kaiser and Soda seem to get along nicely, and often have interesting conversations about their histories with each other. There's a nice sense of privacy between them. However, Kaiser is scared of yet another person.. that being Sandman, but he'll hopefully get over that fear. Kaiser is also on good terms with Bull, and is surprisingly good at calming him down.

An odd relationship between Disco and Tiger, as Disco doesn't really talk with Tiger because.. Tiger avoids him. For some reason, Tiger is afraid of Disco Kid. But alternatively, Disco is very buddy buddy with Sandman! Sandy gives Disco boxing tips, Disco gives Sandy dancing tips. 

Hippo quite likes Sandman because he usually brings snacks in for him, but Sandman just does it so Hippo won't pester him. Close to Sandman though, there's Macho, who like a shocking amount of things is scared of Hippo. He has a fear that Hippo might try eat him (Sandman assures him this isn't true obviously). 

Macho and Don really don't like each other. They both accuse the other of being selfish and egotistical (or an eggo which is what Macho says). They're both right. However, Macho does want to get some advice about something from Don.. 

Another with Macho, he and Hugger are the type of people to walk past each other in the street and tilt their hats. 

Aran and Don? Enemies till the end. Don hates Aran for taking his spot in the World Circuit, Aran returns the hatrid because he likes how annoyed it makes Don.

Sandman has a lot! On one hand, he'll gladly stop to talk with Don or Hondo if he goes by them, but on the other hand he's great friends with Hugger over a shared love for animals and great friends with Joe because of the classic big guy, small guy dynamic. However, he dislikes Tiger for a particular decision he made that is also the reason Hondo is always uneasy around him.. Hugger, Hondo and Sandman know about this incident, and specifically keep it away from Disco's ears.

Hugger and Bull.. just call them the bald bros! Hugger is another person who's good with getting Bull calm, mostly with animal talk. Hugger also finds himself interacting with Macho quite often because Macho sees him as a fountain of knowledge, and always has a million questions.

#punch out wii #punch out #headcanons #i love writing silly little bonds between these silly little guys

[callmehopeless]

Ok I just had to Google what ‘himbo’ meant cause I keep seeing this word thrown around and SURELY we’re not calling Seb a ‘good looking but intelligent young man’ HE HAS READ ALL THE BOOKS IN THE LIBARY, he has to break into the Restricted Section to find new material to read! He might lack common sense but boy isn’t not intelligent 💚🐍

Say it with me everyone

You can be book smart and still be a himbo. You can be a genius and still dumb as fuck. The himbo is a state of being - the himbo is a dimwitted foolishness that comes from ambling through life, imposing yourself on the nearest person like an ape. Sebastian Sallow reads many books and knows a lot of things, but he's also driven by small brain energy

Sebastian Sallow is a smart boy who is controlled by dumbassery. Stupidity. Big Moron Energy. Sebastian is uncontrollably idiotic. He knows the right answer and chooses the wrong one anyway because he is a rabid, feral creature of a boy

Sebastian is an uncontrolled force for chaotic neutral himboism. Think of him like Thor, akin to Marvel's Avengers. Probably smarter than most people in the universe: but dumb of ass. Thicc of brain. A babe, but at the cost of crucial material needed to not be absolutely fucked

#hope talks #pugsnotdrugs92 #sebastian sallow #friday sleepover

[bl-bracket]

It's Back!!!

After several unplanned hiatuses and finishing the much bigger beast of a project Build-a-BL turned out to be, we are finally going to go back to our original programming! Since our last normal bracket, many BLs have aired, so I'm excited to see how these new additions will show up in our competitions!!!

Without further ado, here is our list of potential next topics!

#bl bracket #bl drama #bl shows #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #chinese bl #pinoy bl #vietmanese bl #korean bl

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

Tales from the Gas Station propaganda hour because this book series helped me survive the worst point of my life so far and I am forever grateful.

Do you like dark absurdist humor? Do you like small town horror-mystery? Have you been seeing more indie horror projects centered around working in retail and want to scratch that itch? Do you want to be taken on an absolutely wild ride? Well, look no further than TFTGS the book series/creepypasta that you might already know if you're more or less a passive listener of MrCreepyPasta or nosleep stories in general.

It's a workplace sci-fi horror comedy about an insomniac gas-station clerk who recounts wacky paranormal shit that has been happening to him during his years on the job. As the story goes on a lot of the elements spiral and thicken into a plot that leaves you double-guessing the importance of every detail and every strange occurrence. The humor is great and only gets better as it progresses, reminds me a lot of Hitchhiker's Guide. It's unreliable narrator and horror comedy done perfectly imo.

It's got it all: unfathomable horrors in the woods, an unreliable narrator with mental health issues, government conspiracies, possibly evil doppelgangers, a blonde chaotic neutral golden retriever himbo who is also an ex murder cultist and so, oh so much more.

However, although this was how I got introduced to the series, I would not recommend reading the reddit posts/listening to the youtube narration of the main arcs. You should rather listen to the main 3 (4 when it'll come out) audiobooks narrated by MrCreepyPasta.

While the youtube version with >2mil views is a lot more snappy and really rides from one plot point to another. The books take a more personal view from the main character himself with a heavier emphasis on his own thoughts and feelings as well as his backstory. The creepypasta blog posts (yt version) are canonically tied into the plot and are heavily mentioned in the books. But there is a lot of important story that goes completely untouched in the creepypasta, which is often disjointed and some developments are impossible to understand if you haven't read the books. And for that I recommend reading the books + the bonus and side stories (that exist in full on yt) such as Finding Vanessa, Bedside Manor, Murder at the Gas Station and others, that aren't crucial to the main plot, but fun nonetheless. Though you should listen those side stories in the canonical timeline order, as listed on the gasstationjack website.

^

#asks #not blorbo poll #propaganda?

[audhd-nightwing]

sometimes a family is a cheery grim reaper, her brother (a goth twink that puts people into comas), said brothers himbo bf that she made immortal, their chaotic neutral & hypersexual sibling, said siblings daughter that has the potential to destroy reality and her little brother that accidentally befriended multiple serial killers

#the sandman netflix #the sandman #death of the endless #dream of the endless #desire of the endless #hob gadling #rose walker #the vortex #jed walker #found family #sorta #ig technically they’re all related except hob #anyway #i love their fucked up little family #they all need therapy

[comphy-and-cozy]

Nothin’ Better Than This - JT Compher

(gif by @hockeylvr59)

Pairing: JT Compher x Reader (f)

Summary: The second part of Something to Dream About. Seven months in, your secret relationship with JT is still going strong. Will winning the Stanley Cup give you the confidence you need to go public to the world?

Word Count: 6.6K

Author’s Note: I can’t look anyone in the eye after this one. Here’s another extremely self indulgent fic that might be a tiny bit out of character for our sweet ginger king, but I know you sluts will enjoy it anyways.

Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY) with a tiny bit of plot. Chaotic Colorado Avalanche himbos. Swearing, alcohol use/mention, cocky Compher, unprotected sex, spitting, oral sex (m + f receiving), deep-throating, spanking, choking/breath play, a little bit of degradation/mild humiliation, facial. Sydney queen if you ever see this, I’m so sorry.

Masterlist

212 days. 30 weeks. Seven whole months you’d been dating JT Compher. It had been a whirlwind, but they had truly been seven of the best in your life. In that time, you’d met his family, exchanged I love you’s, and had key copies made for your respective apartments. You had a drawer designated for you in his dresser, and his toothbrush lived beside yours next to the sink. But still, seven months later, neither his teammates nor your colleagues knew about any of it.  

You had always been one to keep a healthy line between work and personal life, but even you had to admit that this was a bit far, especially considering you knew all of his teammates, and vice versa. You’d read the employee handbook section titled ‘Interpersonal Relationships’ enough times that you all but knew it by heart by now, and you felt a pang of guilt every time you passed HR’s office. It would be so easy to just set up a meeting, sign a couple forms, and be on your merry way, but you were still hung up on what it would mean for your career, anxiety getting the best of you each time.

So, here you were – seven months later, in an illicit relationship with the man you knew was ‘The One’, waiting for the day that you could make that statement publicly. 

The whole ‘secret relationship’ had gotten easier with time, falling into a routine of stolen glances, staggered arrivals, and secret text messages — though you had almost gotten caught making out in his car once. 

As the Avs got further into the playoffs, it got even harder to conceal. Your heart yearned to be able to wear a 37 proudly on your chest along with his sisters, his name etched onto your back like a public statement that was so much more than the jersey of a favorite player. Instead, you opted for a neutral Avalanche shirt to avoid making any public allegiances, and you sat with your colleagues more often than not.

Then there were his teammates, who, while maybe not the sharpest tools in the shed, weren’t that thick, easily deducing that their soft-spoken centerman had met someone, sending covert text messages and showing up to practice littered in hickeys on more than one occasion. At first, it was harmless, the normal teasing that boys do, heckling him over finally getting it in for once. But over time, the secrecy got more and more suspicious, nearly six months into the relationship and still none of them had met his mysterious and enigmatic girlfriend or even knew her name.

“JT, you gonna bring your girl around if we win tonight or what?”

“Yo, Comphs, is your lady gonna ever make an appearance?”

“Do we finally get to meet Mrs. Comphy?”

“Starting to think he’s made her up and this girlfriend is just his right hand.”

“Maybe he paid her!”

The voices of your boyfriend’s teammates echoed through your head, harassing him relentlessly. Each time, he made up an excuse – we’re taking things slow, she’s out of town, she’s not feeling well – but the excuses could only last so long, each one that was used up bringing you one step closer to the inevitable. 

Seven months — but who was counting?

Tonight, though, your clandestine relationship is being put to its biggest test yet, when the Colorado Avalanche make history and win the Stanley Cup in Tampa Bay. It’s a whirlwind, the pure jubilation and exhilaration of the win making the evening fly by in a blur of cheers, tears, and lots of champagne. 

What’s worse is, when you go down to the ice with your colleagues, you’re stepping onto the ice as an extended member of the Colorado Avalanche team, and nothing more. Your title is Executive Director of Community Engagement for the Colorado Avalanche, rather than your dual role doubling as the girlfriend of a now-champion. You send Jesse and Morgan a wistful smile, ignoring their pleas to just come with them to greet JT with their family, aware that while everyone else was distracted in their own way, someone would catch you. And, you knew yourself — and JT — well enough that if you saw each other now, in the heat of the moment and high of the win, neither one of you would be able to resist the pull of your lips, surely ending up kissing him square on the mouth right in front of your boss.

So, it isn’t for another painstaking, heart-wrenching three hours that you get to truly congratulate your partner and, ultimately, the love of your life, on his lifelong dream finally coming true.

He’s grinning, beaming really, when he opens the door to his hotel room, and you launch yourself into his arms. He’s warm and almost literally buzzing, the adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he embraces you, allowing your legs to wrap around his waist as you koala him.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper in his ear, voice thick with emotion. You’ve been trying to think of the words to say, to even begin to convey how you feel, and everything falls short. So, you keep it simple, knowing that he’d pick up all of the unspoken words in between.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he murmurs back, voice muffled by your hair as his face is buried in your neck. “Thank you for everything. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, J.”

It’s a few minutes later that he finally sets you down, unable to wipe the grin off your face. “I just… I can’t even believe it!”

“We did it, babe. We fucking did it!” he cheers, reaching for the champagne that’s been delivered to each player’s room. You cheer as it foams when he uncorks it, pouring a glass for each of you and toasting your glass.

“So fucking proud of you, J.”

“To the motherfuckin’ Stanley Cup, baby!”

He downs his glass, and you follow suit, the burn of the champagne pleasant in your throat heady as you look at him.

“You want me to show you how proud I am of you?” 

The air in the room shifts immediately. Though neither of you touched the thermostat, the room has heated to what’s got to be at least 110 degrees. You watch the bob of his Adam’s apple, the clear hitch in his throat at the question, the warm brown of his eyes swirling into a deeper shade almost instantly. 

“Well, do you, champ?” your words are teasing, slipping out of your mouth as if you hadn’t been imagining this exact moment for the last two weeks, as soon as you realized this win could — and would — become a reality. You’re over-the-moon ecstatic for him, but you can’t deny that you’ve also been waiting for the opportunity to worship him like the champion he is. Fucking a Stanley Cup Champion certainly had a different air to it.

He blinks at the nickname, then his lips curl upward into a half-smirk, as if he’s only just remembered what you’re really celebrating. “You want this Stanley Cup dick, huh?”

It’s your turn to smirk, stepping closer to him until your faces are inches apart. You can smell the beer on him, the champagne in his hair, but he’s looking at you like he’s never been more sober, heartbeat ticking in his throat as his eyes zone in on your lips, parted in anticipation. When your hand presses forward, palm against the already half-hard bulge in his jeans, he breaks into a grin, and your heart melts at the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

“Oh, she wants it.”

“Uh huh,” you murmur with a squeeze of your hand that earns a grunt from him, “She wants it bad.”

You can feel the grin of his lips as he smashes his mouth against yours, tongue quickly delving into the space and shattering the invisible barrier of tension hung between you. Even the way he kisses you is different, the energy thrumming through his veins tangible, palatable, like he’s completely invincible — and honestly, tonight, he probably is. Hands reach for your face, tugging you toward him as he nips at your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. His beard is thick, coated in champagne, scratching at your face as the overgrown whiskers above his lip tickle your nose.

You can feel his growl, more than hear it, when your hand runs along his length through his jeans, like you’re assessing your prey, but really you’re just admiring the hardware. His hips push forward, into your hand, and you have half a mind to scold him for his impatience, but you can’t really blame him.

JT stutters a protest when you pull away, the words dying on his lips when he sees you lowering to your knees. His lower lip is tugged between his teeth as he regards you, eyes locked with yours as your hands resume their previous actions, running over his erection through his pants. You press your mouth to the zipper of his jeans, and he hums, louder when your tongue flicks out against the denim.

“Want it in my throat first,” you say, hands plucking at his belt as you begin to unbuckle it. “Want to know what a Stanley Cup winning cock tastes like.”

He’s buzzing, straining against the zipper you slowly tug down once his belt has been discarded and button undone. You run your tongue along him again, this time just through the thin material of his boxers, and this time you can feel the heat of him throbbing against your tongue. 

Your fingers tuck into the waistband of his boxers, and you look up at him, already disheveled, as you lick your lips. There’s a fiery anticipation in his eyes, like he might die if you don’t get your mouth on him soon.

“And after I’ve had it in my mouth, I want to have this Stanley Cup winning cock stuffed in my pussy.”

JT lets out a sinful groan, twitching against his boxers. You smirk, pleased with his reaction as you finally tug the material down his muscular thighs. Biting back a moan at the sight of him, hard and standing proudly at attention, leaking slightly from the tip, your mouth waters and you’ve suddenly forgotten that you wanted to tease him.

Your tongue flicks at the tip, tasting the drop of precum that melts into your mouth. Almost immediately, his head falls back, and you smirk. “I’ve barely touched you, baby.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be rewarding me?” he sasses.

“Even Stanley Cup champions have to be patient.”

He opens his mouth to retort, but pauses when he sees your hands reaching for the hem of your top, watching the Avs logo wrinkle as you pull the material over your head. Toying with the strap of your bra, you look up at him and ask coyly, “Should I take this off, or are you too impatient?”

“Don’t be a fucking tease,” he breathes.

“But I like you when you’re desperate,” you taunt, enjoying the way you can see the burn in his eyes.

When your hands caress your chest, sensually dragging your fingers along your collar bones, his dick twitches in interest, a silent encouragement to please, don’t stop. You reach behind you to unclasp your bra, slipping your arms through the straps before tossing it behind you. JT’s eyes grow glassy, staring at your bare tits, your nipples pebbling in the air.

You resist the urge to laugh at how much of a boy he is, instead opting to give him more of what he wants to see. Your hands come up to cup your breasts, feeling the weight of them in your hands while your thumbs run over your nipples, a sigh escaping your mouth. 

His dick twitches again when one hand slides down your torso and between your legs. The sound he lets out is a mix between a growl and a whimper, watching the way you cup your sex over your jeans. It’s not enough, not nearly close enough to what you actually want, but the contact to your clit even through the layers of fabric has you letting out a moan.

“Babe — please,” he whines. The desperation in his voice has you looking up at him, and part of you curses the side of you that melts for him. You’ll never be able to last like this, not with the eyes he’s giving you that rival that of a lost puppy. 

He’s so hard that his dick is standing straight up, twitching against his shirt and leaving a thin wet spot on the blue fabric. Leaning forward, you press a kiss to his balls. Your tongue follows the path of your lips as you make your way up to his tip, the pulsing vein on the underside of his dick a road map to heaven.

“God, babe, you —” JT stutters. “Fuck.”

You are pleased that he’s been reduced to a series of groans and half-finished sentences, but you want to render him utterly speechless, a true reward for your champion. Finally, you give him what he wants and take him in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him as you begin to move on his length. It’s difficult to smirk when he groans again, loudly, so instead you keep your motions steady to keep the sounds coming.

The bob of your head finds a rhythm in synchronicity with your tongue, reveling in the feel of him in your mouth, hard and heavy and everything you want to be able to show your admiration. JT’s whines encourage you to keep going, the velvety smoothness of his skin sliding against your tongue as he goes deeper with each pass. Relaxing your throat, you glance up at him, wrecked and panting, before slowly pressing yourself forward until he’s lodged firmly in the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ,” he chokes out, hand flying to the back of your head, fingers tangling in the hair at the crown.

Wordlessly, you move your mouth back and forth, trying to encourage him to take control. Eventually, he catches your drift, and his eyes look down to lock with yours as he thrusts his hips forward. Broken curses fall from his mouth as he watches himself slide between your lips, feeling the tip of his dick sliding down your soft, warm throat.

It’s hot, filthy actually, and the tension in the air between you is thick like the dick in your mouth. He’s the one controlling the pace, taking your throat, but somehow there’s an unspoken air that you’re still the one who’s calling the shots.

Your vision blurs with the tears brimming your eyes, frothy spit escaping from the corners of your mouth and dripping onto your chest, something JT will appreciate later when he gets a good look at you. The sound of your gags fills the room, the slick of his cock adding a wet noise like a deliciously slutty harmony. 

You whine at the feeling of emptiness when he slips out of your mouth, a thick trail of saliva keeping your lips connected to his tip. You know the sight is lewd and salacious, your tits out and covered in a pre-cum and saliva mixture, knees pressed into the cold tile flooring, eyes wet and lips swollen. JT’s hand slides to your jaw, holding your head in place, and you obediently remain still while his eyes regard you hotly, looking at the swell of your lips and trails of spit dripping down your chin.

“So pretty like this, all wrecked out,” he murmurs, thumb running over the saliva on your lip before slipping into your mouth. Instinctively, your lips wrap around the digit, sucking on it, and his eyes glitter at the way your tongue slides over the pad of his finger. “Such a good fucking girl for me.”

His words send heat to your core, the praise making your pussy throb with desire. He smirks when you whine against his thumb, shifting on your knees to create even the slightest friction of your now soaked panties against your sex. 

“Only for you, J,” you say, voice slightly hoarse from the abuse on your throat. “My Stanley Cup champion.”

His smug smile is prideful, and you don’t blame him — for all of the teamwork mentality and group praise he’ll be preaching the next few days, he should be allowed a moment to let himself feel successful, to be proud of his hard work and sacrifice to get here. 

“You gonna let your champion fuck you now? Hmm?”

“Wanted you to cum down my throat,” you mumble, shyly, though the growl in his chest sends a wave of confidence through you.

He leans down to kiss your lips, his grip on your jaw still strong. The feeling of his plush lips on yours has your heart leaping to your chest, quickly turning from mush to flame when you see them purse, letting a thick wad of saliva fall into your open and waiting mouth. Feeling the spit sliding down your tongue, you moan, and he smirks again in what is one of the sexiest expressions you’ve ever seen grace his already beautiful face. It’s intimate and equally scorching hot, the throb between your legs growing deeper with every passing minute.

“We have plenty of time for that later,” he says, breaking you out of your hazy eyed daze. “But right now I want to be inside your pretty little cunt.”

And, well, how are you supposed to say no to that? 

His strong arms pull you up to your feet, another hungry kiss pressed to your lips before he’s stripping you of your pants, flinging them blindly behind him. His hands can’t move fast enough, growing more and more restless as more of your skin is revealed to him. 

When you’re in just your panties, he lays you back onto the bed, taking a leg in each hand and parting your thighs as if they are curtains revealing a broadway show. You can feel heat rise in your cheeks when you see his eyes fix on your center, and you know that your panties are visibly wet, can feel your arousal pooling in the fabric, undeniably turned on from having his dick lodged in your throat. 

JT hums and echoes that same sentiment. “You liked that, huh, baby?”

Licking your lips, you nod, watching the way his tongue immediately licks a stripe up the fabric, saliva mixing with your juices to wet your panties even more. He hums, savoring the taste of you before he glances up at you with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Think you taste sweeter when you’re desperate. Maybe instead of my good girl, I should be calling you my good slut.”

“J,” you whimper, practically ready to come from his filthy mouth alone. He’s always more than satisfied you in the bedroom, but this version of him is something you’ve never seen from him, the confidence and the high from the greatest win of his life finally settling into his veins. Tomorrow, he’ll go back to being a humble team player, but tonight, he’s your Stanley Cup champion, the best player in the world.

“Oh, you like that?” he teases. “You want to be my pretty little slut?”

“Jesus, J.” You don’t have to confirm or deny for him to know you do; he can see the want in your eyes and the hitch of your throat when he says it.

His fingers are warm against your hips when he presses them underneath your waistband, pulling your panties down your legs. His eyes are on your pussy, but he’s talking to you when he responds, “I can tell by how fuckin’ soaked you are, baby. Could slip my dick right in, right now, no problem.”

“JT — J, please —” you cry out, the emptiness between your legs overwhelming as you feel yourself clench around nothing, desperate to have him inside of you.

But he’s not done, sending you a glance as he tugs his shirt off, and your fingers itch to touch the warm, creamy skin that he reveals, run over the sinewy muscle that he’s spent so long sculpting. “You’re desperate for me, aren’t you? Just dying to have this Stanley Cup winning dick in your cunt, huh?”

Ignoring him and the way he’s turning you feral with each velvety whisper of his filthy words, your hands reach up when he kicks off his boxers the remainder of the way down his legs. He’s quicker than you, though, hands catching your wrists and pinning them down above your head as he settles his muscled body between your spread thighs.

“If you made me wait to get your mouth on me, you’re gonna have to wait to get fucked,” he murmurs, fully aware of your desperation and determined to get his revenge. Temporarily, he distracts you from your aching desire with a hot kiss, provoking a lewd moan against his mouth. One hand moves to meet your chest, the skin on skin contact enough to set you on fire as he palms your breast, massaging the flesh roughly. When your back arches into his touch, his hand releases your wrists to slip behind you, fingers grazing the ridges of your spine while he pulls you into him, like he can’t get you close enough.

You can feel your hips rolling against nothing, barely brushing his thigh. His mouth trails hotly down your neck, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin on his way down to your nipple, where he takes the bud between his lips. His tongue is warm, wet, on your chest, pulling more sighs from your mouth. The trail he leaves is hot, wet, down your body, over your rib cage and tickling your belly, mouthing at your hips before he finds himself between your legs. His beard scratches you, and fuck, you want more, later, but now you’re so keyed up you think you might die if you don’t get him inside you soon.

But he’s got other plans, putting the teasing aside for a moment to delve his tongue between your folds, groaning at your taste. His hands are quick to latch onto your hips, holding them in place as they buck against his face. You want to protest, to beg him to quit teasing and fuck you already, but the words die in your throat, his pillowy lips too sinful for their own good. 

JT’s mouth is greedy, lapping up every bit of your nectar that he can like it’s the elixir of life, bound to make him invincible like this forever. He’s moaning against you, enjoying it almost as much as you are, wanting your juices to coat the thick, coarse hair of his beard for the rest of the night. He’d eat your pussy for days, if you let him. And honestly, on any other occasion, you would let him.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, sticky from sweat and champagne and Lord knows what else, gripping for traction while his tongue assaults your clit. The buzz in your belly is right there, has been steadily building all night since you watched him squirt water on his hair during warmups, only growing stronger and hotter as the night progressed. All it takes is one precise flick of his tongue to send you flying into euphoria, a long, lewd cry out into the darkness. Part of you knows your hotel neighbors can hear it, but you can’t be bothered to care, not with the way his mouth is riding out your orgasm, sending pulsing waves of pleasure through you.

“Feel better?” he asks, sarcastic, with a dirty grin. “Barely had to work for it, you were so desperate.”

Your cheeks burn at his words, would be embarrassed if you didn’t know he was loving how strung out you are, pliant in his hands and needy for him. “You gonna fuck me now?” 

He chuckles darkly, the sound low in his throat. “Such a filthy little slut that even an orgasm can’t tide you over, huh?”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to be inside my pretty little cunt,” you retort, referencing the words he’d choked out earlier. He smirks, and you know you’ve got him when he slides back and rises to his knees.

“This what you want?” he asks, voice oozing smugness, hand moving to stroke himself slowly.

“Yes, God, J, please,” you whine, your temporary facade of confidence thrown away as you watch the swollen tip of his dick fucking his hand, any remaining humility you might have left completely flown out the window. “Want you. Need you.”

“Need me, or just need my cock?”

“Both,” is your broken plea, hips bucking against nothing as he kneels before you. He’s getting off on watching you beg, desperate for him, crying out his name, stroking his ego — literally — in a way that’s so unlike him, but then again this is a special occasion.

The immense relief you feel when he finally positions himself between your legs is unmatched. You don’t quite know where to look, torn between his dick and the molten chocolate of his eyes, burning with lust as he bumps your clit. The moment is briefly paused when he leans forward to kiss you, sweet and caring in a manner that starkly contrasts the tension in the air, hot and thick with raw desire.

“I love you,” he whispers against your lips, chasing them to kiss you again, as if to prove his point.

“I love you, too,” you reply, breathless, mouth falling open when you feel him grazing against your sensitive labia. “Why don’t you show me how much?”

You feel the hot breath from his chuckle, mouth still pressed up against yours. His lips slide over the seam of your mouth, swallowing the pornographic moan you let out when he finally, finally pushes into you, slow and steady. Temporarily, you’re paralyzed, only able to focus on his rigid length, feeling each inch as he fills you up.

JT scatters soft, tender kisses up your jaw, allowing both of you a moment to revel in the simple pleasure of being connected so intimately. He’s thick, and rock hard, and you can feel yourself clench tightly around him. Your fingers press into his shoulders, an arm sliding around his neck to hold him close to you, and you murmur, “Move, J.”

“Greedy girl,” he snickers, but obliges, done with the teasing game now that he’s finally sheathed inside your snug heat. His hips begin to move, creating a steady rhythm that has whines tumbling from your lips, breathless sighs of his name into the darkness.

It’s always good with him, but tonight, it’s different, Stanley’s magic casting a spell over you both in a way that has each stroke lighting off fireworks between you. Your arms wrap around his back, holding his body close to yours and trapping the heat and all of the intimacy between your bodies, the hard muscle of his chest sliding against yours.

“J,” you moan in his ear, and it’s like the call spurs him into action, picking up his pace until he’s pounding and you can do nothing else except clutch onto him for dear life.

“Fuckin’ made for me, sweetheart. Always so good for me. God, I fuckin’ love you.”

JT’s lips connect with yours, soft despite the harsh metronome of his hips. His tongue slips against yours, accepting the mewls that you offer, exhaled softly on his mouth. One of his hands trails down your side, gripping your thigh and hitching it over his hip, then repeating the action on the other side so he can press deeper into you with a groan. 

“You like being fucked by a Stanley Cup champ, huh?” the question is scalding hot, whispered against the sensitive skin of your neck.

Your reply is less of a yes and more of a mangled cry, unable to form a real sentence for the way he’s fucking you. You can feel the way your body squeezes him, tight, sending him the message to please, don’t stop, without having to speak.

“Feels so good, baby. So fuckin’ tight,” he murmurs, the depth of his voice sending a tingle down your spine. “‘Specially for a little puckslut like you.”

“Fuck, J, I’m gonna –” 

With his words, the fireworks in your belly are exploding, powerful waves coursing through you as you climax. Distantly, you hear him groan, feeling the way you’re gripping him tightly, fingernails surely leaving crescent-shaped marks in his otherwise unmarred porcelain skin.

JT coaxes you through the dying pulses of your orgasm, beard scratching your jaw as he presses kisses against your cheek. He chuckles, amused at only needing one sentence to make you scream his name.

“God, you really are a slut,” he jokes, the easy smile on his lips offering a lighthearted reprieve, temporarily bursting the cloud of lust that looms over you. You smile back, lips curling up against the place where his thick beard meets smooth skin of his cheek.

“Only for you,” you whisper.

He hums fondly. “That’s fuckin’ right, baby.”

The intimate moment has passed, and in a flurry of movements, you find yourself being flipped over onto the mattress, large hands tugging your waist back as you settle onto your hands and knees. Instinctually, you sway your hips back and forth in a little show, earning a growl from him before his hand is cracking against the bare skin of your ass. He guides himself back into you, slipping in almost too easily with the excess lubricant you provide, practically dripping for him.

He’s rough, quick, and you love every second of it. The force of his hips slapping against your ass has the mattress shaking, rhythmic bumping that will leave no question about what’s happening in your room, accompanied by the occasional smack of his palm against your bottom, faint handprints in its wake. His hands are gripping your sides, pulling you back onto him, though his urgency is less about his own release and more about yours, wanting to make you come over and over again – because even on a night that’s completely about him, he still wants to please you.

You feel his hand sliding hotly up your spine, chasing the bumps until it reaches the back your neck, fisting your hair and pressing down, firm but not so hard it hurts. The air in your throat is restricted, slightly, and you moan when he shifts his hips, changing the angle of his thrusts to have you crying out as he presses deeper into your greedy cunt. His hard body looms over yours when he leans forward, beard scratching your ear and jaw when he brings his mouth close to you.

“Can you give me one more, sweetheart?”

His hand releases the pressure, allowing you to gasp out an affirmative yes, and he’s back to his relentless pace. One hand returns to your neck, while the other moves to the top of yours, lacing your fingers together. The sound of his hips slapping against your ass, hard, echoes off the walls of the fancy hotel room, the few breathless gasps you let out muffled by his heavy breathing. 

Your third one comes quickly, suddenly, a broken sob making its way out of your throat. He groans in satisfaction behind you, pleased with his track record and the way your body goes completely rigid underneath him. You’re barely out of your aftershocks, blinking away the stars in your eyes, when he’s nudging you to flip over, pulling out and moving to spill his release onto your face with a grunt. Your mouth opens in a moan, the hot liquid spurting over your cheek and onto your lips, the tanginess resting on your tongue.

JT looks at you, soft, with a smirk, admiring his handiwork. “You’re so pretty.”

When you lick your lips, catching some of his cum and humming as you swallow, he groans. “Do I look like a proper puck slut now?”

“A perfect little puck slut,” he says, leaning in to kiss you. “But only if you’re all mine.”

After you’ve cleaned up, you’re tucked into his arm under the crisp white sheets, blissfully happy. He’s recollecting some of his favorite memories of the run, reflecting on the journey to get to this point. 

“I’m so… I’m so happy for you, J,” you whisper, craning your neck to kiss his jaw.

He hums, hand absently stroking circles into the skin of your shoulder blade. Your body is still tingling from the pleasure he gave you, and you feel the electric sparks from the light touch. “You know what would make me even happier?”

“Another blowjob?”

He laughs. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t say no to that.”

“What could possibly make you happier than you are in this exact moment, JT Compher?”

“Let’s tell them.”

“What?”

“Let’s tell everyone,” he repeats, pulling away slightly so he can look you in the eyes.

“J —”

“Babe, come on,” he says. “I just won the Stanley fucking Cup. I literally just achieved my dreams, and I want to celebrate it with you. My girl. I want to kiss you in public, to see you wearing my fuckin’ jersey at the parade, to have you there with me on the float — not hide you away in my secret hotel room and wave to you in the crowd in some generic jersey.”

You’re quiet, and you know he’s right. Truthfully, you’d been preparing for this moment since the day he asked you out all those months ago, the thought of making your relationship public one that got more comfortable with every day that passed. It’s not just the high of the win talking, but it certainly gives him the confidence to push the thought out into the universe, hanging heavily and loudly in the air.

“I just… I love you, so fucking much, and I want the whole world to know. I’m ready, if you are.”

“Okay, J,” you nod, pushing away the last little shred of uncertainty that lingers in your chest. You’ve known the time was coming, for awhile now, and, admittedly, no time could feel better than after winning the Stanley Cup. “You’re right. We can tell them. Let’s do it.”

He smiles, and distantly you think to yourself that his face must hurt from all of the grinning he’s done today — then again, so does yours. When he kisses you, he murmurs, “Can’t wait to do that in front of everyone. I’m gonna grab your ass so hard. Bo has a thing for you, you know.”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “He’s like, 12. Besides, I’m only a puck slut for you, remember?” 

He hums, nodding in approval with a soft chuckle. You shift, sitting up on your elbows to look him square in the eye. 

“Let’s talk about all of this in the morning. For now, how about that second blowjob?”

*******

The morning after winning the Stanley Cup is the same as that John Mayer song, Dreaming With a Broken Heart, except instead of a broken heart, it’s pure, unfiltered joy. You blink, adjusting to the light and the strange surroundings, and all at once the realization comes crashing down on you that you won the Stanley fucking Cup.

The same thing goes for being the girlfriend of a Stanley Cup winner, waking up to watch the love of your life remember all over again what he accomplished mere hours ago.

After some slow kisses and another round of celebratory intimate morning sex, the two of you discuss how you are going to break the news to the team. Ultimately, you decide that he’ll keep it casual, starting with Landy and working his way through the group, to avoid making it overly uncomfortable or awkward for you.

The hotel has reserved an entire ballroom for the team and extended guests to gather, and they are serving breakfast this morning to kick off another day of celebrations before the team flies back to Denver. When the group chat lights up to signal that everyone is moseying their way down, you and JT shower to freshen up and follow suit.

Once you’re ready, you open the door, not even thinking about the optics of you leaving JT’s hotel room the morning after winning the Stanley Cup. Unfortunately for you, Cale is also leaving his room, and turns to greet you, freezing when he sees JT standing behind you, and quickly puts two and two together.

“Uh –”

You freeze, heat flooding your cheeks, and JT sighs behind you.

“Oh. My. God.”

“Cale –”

“Nate, get out here! I finally figured out who JT’s girl is!”

JT glances at you, apologetic, his face saying, Hope you’re ready, because here it comes. 

Nate’s door opens a few moments later, kitty corner to where you’re standing. He looks at Cale, then you, then JT, and then back to you. 

“You’re Mrs. Comphy?” he asks incredulously, his mouth falling open. 

The commotion causes a few others in the hall to burst out of their rooms to solve the Compher mystery, each more loud than the last. When JT finally manages to convince the group to at least head down for breakfast, you’re five hugs deep and feeling overwhelmed, but in a good way — mostly.

“I knew it!”

“Shut the fuck up, Burky, no you didn’t.”

“Does Josty know?” asks Gabe, nudging your shoulder in an affectionate gesture.

“Of course he knows,” JT scoffs. “That’s the privilege of being on a different team now.”

“Well, everyone’s gonna know now. Kept half the damn wing up last night,” Logan chimes in, earning a few guffaws from the group that’s formed around you.

“Oh my God, JT, harder!” Erik mocks in a high-pitched voice, tossing imaginary hair over his shoulder with a moan. “Right there, JT, don’t stop, Daddy!”

“Oh my God,” you cry, covering your face in your hands, desperately wishing that you could spontaneously combust right on the spot. “I’m quitting my job, right now.”

“If you quit, does that mean you don’t have to disclose it to HR?”

“‘Course she does, she’s been fucking our resident cranky ginger for months. That shit needs to be on record forever.”

Gabe laughs, his perfect smile gracing his perfect face. He slips an arm around your shoulders and says, “I know you’re already part of the Avalanche family, but welcome to the inner circle.”

Your face is still burning, but you appreciate the gesture. “Gee, thanks. Public humiliation is definitely a warm welcome.”

Later, though the celebration continued all day, JT pulled you aside after some of the commotion had died down to check in. “You good? I know that was… a lot. Obviously, I was hoping to be a little more tactful about it.”

You smiled, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips – your first ever in-public kiss – as your response (a wolf whistle sounded from behind you, and JT flipped them off). No, it wasn’t exactly as planned, but somehow it was just right anyways. “I’m just happy I get to do that now.”

He grinned, the elation clearly written all over his face – he had the Cup, and now he had his girl, to show off for the entire world to see.

And three days later, when he lifts the Cup at the parade, kissing you proudly in front of millions, you think to yourself that you couldn’t be happier with the decision. 

#jt compher fic #jt compher fanfic #jt compher x y/n #jt compher x reader #jt compher smut #jt compher imagine #jt compher imagines #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey fic #hockey imagine #colorado avalanche fic

[witchthewriter]

 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

🌿ENTP 🍁Slytherin 📜Chaotic Neutral 🔮Sagittarius Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising

SFW🌿

⭑ You weren’t a fan of port. It meant leaving the ship and interacting with other ... people. 

⭑ The noises, the smells, people not moving out of your way. It drove you crazy. 

⭑ But that was where you met John, on the island of Nassau. 

⭑ He had become well-known throughout the plundering community. He was respected amongst his crew and worked well with Captain Flint. Their relationship created an almost impregnable barrier against enemies.

⭑ You were fearsome in your own right. 

⭑ You were born on a pirate ship; your mother the Captain and your father the First Mate. 

⭑ You carried a legacy. One that had been started by your parents, and as they had no other children, you had the sole responsibility. 

⭑ Luckily enough, the pirate life was for you. 

⭑ Although it was a difficult life - having people rely on you, you had grown up with it. Gotten used to it. Your mother died 10 years ago, your father not long after that. They were in love. 

⭑ Love ... they were the only representatives of true love. 

⭑ You didn’t think much about that. Much about finding a partner. You just wanted a good crew. Men and women you could rely on. Loyal. But they had to be loyal to a fault. 

⭑ And they were - 

⭑ Anyone who double-crossed you, or sold you out... well... they lost their tongue, and fingers. 

⭑ You didn’t like it; the savagery of it all. 

⭑ But it was the life you knew. 

⭑ John was a surprise though

⭑ And surprises didn’t go well with your line of work

⭑ You didn’t like him at first. There was an air of arrogance when you first met. But you had mistaken what it actually was; a barrier. A wall against another potential enemy.

⭑ Now, after 3 years of marriage, John still has moments of arrogancy. 

⭑ You lived relatively rich lives. The gold and jewels you had found funded a comfortable life.

⭑ It was away from the prying eyes of pirates, but not too far from civilization

⭑ It was just you two. And it had taken John a bit of getting used to. Well, as did you.

⭑ You still wanted to live part of your life at sea. And John was completely okay with that

⭑ But you were never gone for long though 

⭑ Although he was an awful cook when he stumbled into Flint’s crew, he’s actually developed his culinary skills and is great at whipping up an easy meal

⭑ Probably have a pet of some kind

⭑ Although John said it was nothing but another mouth to feed. But you couldn’t resist 

⭑ Most days John feels cold, even in the heat, he’ll feel the slightest chill in the air and wrap up

⭑ You like to trace to the scars on his body, and he shivers 

⭑ He never forgets your birthday, even though he doesn’t know his. He picks a random day every year 

⭑ Likes to hear you breathing while sleeping next to him 

⭑ Hums a lot. While bathing, tidying up, while doing yard work. He likes to sing too

⭑ You have hidden weapons around the property

⭑ And you both always have a gun and a knife on your person

⭑ Likes it when you braid his hair

⭑ And you give him haircuts

⭑ You absolutely adore his curly hair

⭑ Some days his leg hurts so badly that he has to lay in bed. You bring him tinctures and teas to ease the pain 

⭑ He doesn’t know what he’d do without you 

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

Wondrous Love by Bear McCreary

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

  ✧ Himbo Wife Energy 

  ✧ Bastard (John) x Likes The Bastard And Is Mad About It (You)

  ✧ Just A Hook Up > Crew Members > Friends > Lovers > Married

  NSFW🔞minors dni!

⭑ Oh he does love to be dominated. Without a doubt. 

⭑ He’d happily lay there as his wrists and legs are tied, completely at your mercy. 

⭑ Has both Mummy and Daddy issues... he likes to be coddled and told what to do

⭑ Likes to be pegged, but only if you call him a “good boy” 

⭑ When kinks/fetishes aren’t involved. Then the sex is very intimate and passionate. 

⭑ John won’t stop looking into your eyes, trying to capture some part of your soul and merge it with his. 

⭑ His movements are slow and deep, hitting parts of you that you thought you weren’t able to feel

⭑ John’s strong arms wrap around you, holding you tightly; all he wants is to show you how deeply he feels. These moments aren’t rare, but neither are they common

⭑ He’s very good at foreplay, and his seduction techniques are otherwordly

⭑ He can turn you into jelly by the way he kisses your neck

⭑ His hands are large, and when he fingers you,  you whimper shamelessly

⭑ Loves nibbling on your ear lobe 

⭑ Gets out of trouble by whispering sinful things in your ear

#black sails #black sails headcanons #long john silver #long john silver headcanons #john silver headcanons #pirate headcanons #long john silver x reader #long john silver x you #black sails x reader #black sails imagine #black sails fanfiction #long john silver fanfiction #witchthewriter #headcanons #pirates #reader insert #fanfiction #god i love this show

[avissapiens]

Abyss Alignments: Good

The Pleasure Triad

Pup- Lawful Good.

A pup is an embodiment of eager obedience. Following the rules and being happy to do so because it is ultimately for the greater good of yourself and all you care for. Such an innocent, loyal puppy. Always happy and willing to stay by his master’s side. To serve and obey. Not a hint of malice behind those big, beautiful eyes. In love with the law laid down by his master. So eager to please that he could never get on anyone’s bad side. 

Himbo- Neutral Good.

A manifestation of pleasure for yourself and for others. Beauty and bliss are the ultimate good, and by embodying those ideals no one could ever judge you. Nice, Buff, Dumb, Slutty. No one would ever think those could be anything but good. You like having fun, showing off. You’re not hurting anyone. Everyone wants to be friends with a Himbo. Hedonism distilled down to a fine art.

Bro- Chaotic Good.

A bit of a rebel, but with a good cause. All these nerds and dweebs are so uptight, the bro shows you how to break with convention. Break the rules to have fun and to make a better brighter future. Be dumb, get drunk, drop out of school, lift heavy, fuck hard. It might seem wrong at first because society is constantly telling you to follow it’s rules. But once you start you quickly realize that your life and the life of your bros is much better with that frat house Laissez-faire attitude.

Art credit for the Archetypes goes to my discord Mod, Sludge. You can find him HERE Just a bit of expansion on the "Lore" of the Abyss. Helping to flesh out the archetypes a bit more. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences and writing, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server. And check out my file archive on my website.

#hypnosis #muscle pup #muscle #himbo #frat bro #creative writing

[ninjasmudge]

Also I can't get over the very short lived shotgun arms arc

I'm still not sure which makes me laugh more

The fact our girl really looked at the chaotic neutral cat monkey man's shotgun hands concept and with 0 hesitation went

Mei: yeah! I see nothing wrong with this!

Or the whole reason the fiasco ended because make could not hug his big glowing himbo boyfriend

the secret is that mei is down for chaos and violence at all times, shes just not as loud about it so people dont always notice at first

its ALL THIS PLUS THE FACT THAT NEITHER OF THEM FACTORED IN THE FACT HE DOESNT HAVE ANY HANDS TO RELOAD

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #entanglement au #mk #ask

[twistedoverbloat]

Maybe we can have a Headcanon of The personalities of all the Yuu so far please?

Shit well fuck how many did I do-

Ok states so far!:

Arizona Yuu - a cryptic basically.

Washington Yuu - a lawyer

Florida Yuu - a raccoon you forgot about in the garage.

Minnesota Yuu - most passive aggressive bitch yoy ever meet.

New Jersey Yuu - put your hands up bitch were fighting.

Hawaii Yuu - soft gentle giant, but if you fick with their friends they'll kill you.

Alaska Yuu - they are fighting bears when abke too. They are mostly in the thick if the woods.

Nevada Yuu - they are always somewhere but no one knows where.

California Yuu - a dealer everyoen loves and also they own guns.

Oregan Yuu - gun dealer don't fuck with them they'll kill you.

Country Yuu's:

Russia Yuu - will kill you every way possible.

Australia Yuu - bugs and critters love them they will use them against you.

Catbug Yuu - almost like a child but can murder anyone with strength of the gods.

Digimon Yuu - no fucks given come at me bitches.

Great 7 Yuu - tried ready to drop at any moment.

Singer Yuu - happy and a bit oblivious to everything.

Punk Yuu - ready to fight you they know everything.

Lady Tamayo Yuu - motherly will adopt you as theirs.

Green thumb Yuu - a sweet child but knows how to Poison you.

Molly Yuu - done with everyone's shit and is now bitting people be careful they got rabies.

Lilia's daughter Yuu - is very sweet and kind also oblivious. But don't. Worry they're working on it.

Chaotic artist Yuu - all I. The name they don't care and they throw random shit and it turns out amazing.

Sherlock Yuu - is ready for adventures and loves puzzles they are a bit dissociated with everything but they don't mean to be.

Bitchy Yuu - will make you sob in front of everyone with out mercy. If your not one of their soft spots your dead.

Danny phantom Yuu - is tried as well and already dropped. Don't worry their not dead yet.

Cosplay Yuu - they are chill about everything just tryignr i get through life.

Casino Owner Yuu - will fuck up your life, a bigger bitch then Bitchy Yuu.

Fighting Ring Yuu - very nice but dotn cross then if you want to live.

Famous Yuu - they are so fucking chill and nothing others them they just post and film chaotic shit.

Saiki Yuu - they are done with everyoen and avoiding them but gets attached to their idiots.

Mob Yuu - claim but when angered can level NRC in a second flat.

Princess Jewel Yuu - Gatekeep Grilboss, and Gaslight these bitches. Or Mansplain, Malewife, and Manslaughter.

Reverse Time Au Yuu - done with everyoen and knows all. They know how to fix all your problems.

Monarch/King Arthur Yuu - a kind ruler that is beloved by everyone. Kinda can't be mean when really needed.

Buff Yuu - a himbo/bimbo/thembo

Amazonian Yuu - a strong person but kinda denied very keep on honor.

Gymnastics Yuu - cocky with their talents but really like competitive too.

Shroud Yuu - they are the neutral land between their siblings but can cause and stir shit in a second.

Cat-like Yuu - they are also chill probably high on catnip but who knows? Asleep most of the time.

Overbloat Yuu - Dane witbeveryoen and planing murder. Was once kind but now? They are the cruelest person to ever live.

Principle Yuu - very nice, anxious of fucking up the next generations.

#wow i have so many Yuu's and these arent even all of them- #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Hazbin Hotel x Helluva Boss Theory: Why The Overpopulation Is Charlie’s Dad’s Fault & Theory To Fix It...In Fanon.

[Note: Reading This Post Is Optional. and Don’t Reblog Without Permission. also will talk about small spoilers from the Lucifer TV Show...and even the Fan Series that is  Arackniss Audio Series that is by Axelgear...]  

not everyone has to agree to this theory, but it still makes sense if you think about it...

there is a Overpopulation in Hell, in Hazbin Hotel (and possibly Helluva Boss, if they are in the same universe but have two different stories going on.)

but the overpopulation, might be the most high in the Pride Ring.

there is a rule that sinners can’t use the Elevators to take them to the other rings, which might be a foolish rule to make, as it has done more harm than good to make such a rule...

Lilith, you have married a Himbo I am afraid...

Charlie’s idea to redeem Sinners to stop the overpopulation to save lives and even try to help them become better, is a noble thing.

but it is still possible she might only be able to help some, while others who have crossed dangerous lines that should of never been crossed, cannot be redeemed......like certain Toxic-Priests & Toxic-Nuns, who can’t be forgiven for the disgusting actions they have done to the souls of innocent ones...

while there can be some Sinners in the Pride Ring, that could still be like chaotic neutral, but in theory some might be more darker than most, and aren’t able to be redeemed.

plus it could be possible that some of the people who ended up in Hell in both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, are good people, while only some other percent are neutral, chaotic neutral, and then there is the worse of the worse, far worse than Overlords, even if the Overlords would be more powerful.

in theory, if Lucifer had the meetings with the other rulers of the other rings, they can get rid of the rule that says that Sinners cannot go to the other rings.

there can be three options, go to Charlie’s Hotel to try to be redeemed, or wait for the next cleansing day when the Exterminators come down and kill some of the sinners in the pride ring, and that also gives the sinners the choice to hide or die.....

then there is the third choice, moving to one of the other rings that fits their trait and interest.

that last choice, might be important that is equal to Charlie’s goal to redeem her people and get them sent to Heaven....

man she is kind of like the Lucifer from the Lucifer TV Show, yeah plot twist and spoilers, the Lucifer from that universe ends up becoming, I guess a type of therapist and ends up with Chloe and even having a daughter named Aurora Morningstar....

but anyway, when Lucifer’s Dad from that universe retires and one of this other sons becomes the new God, Lucifer’s Dad ends up retiring to his ex and I guess well, former ex and now rekindle love and other half, Goddess’s Universe.

so at some point, Lucifer figures out the meaning of his father’s words, something about how Hell doesn’t need a keeper anymore...

that it needs a healer, meaning that Lucifer from that universe, would be helping redeeming souls through therapy so they can get to Heaven.

if Charlie ever watched that show, I think she would be a bit jealous of Aurora having such a cool dad. XD

might make Charlie’s Dad mad though, that his counterpart would give therapy to mortals so they can be redeemed and go to heaven...

dude, you don’t let the sinners go to the other rings, and have kind of caused the overpopulation in the first place, I might be a Defective Earth Angel who’s Mom when pregnant with me, NEVER got Morning sickness, and only got Evening sickness, which was part of the reason why I use the word Eveningstar and add that with Twilightner like something from Deltarune, like being between a Lightner & Darkner....the Player could be seen as a Twilightner probably.

anyway like I was trying to say, I might be a Defective Earth Angel, but even I had figured that out.

I don’t know how many Moms ever had just evening sickness, but I still find it weird and funny my Mom never got morning sickness with me and only got evening sickness.

it might be a good idea, that there should be some form of  therapy in the afterlife, for souls who had suffered trauma to their souls.

and some souls could have it far worse with some traumas, and some might be lucky not to have a full memory of some of their more traumatic past lives, or even ones that had nothing to do with them, but they might of inherited like copy memories that belong to their soul-parents that they had fragmented from.

which I guess could be like a soul mitosis, when a small piece of a soul breaks off and becomes a fragment but also becomes a newborn soul, and it might end up merging with another fragment soul and making someone new.

and I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa King David’s Daughter Tamar ever went through a soul mitosis, well her and the gal named Sarah who Asmodeus was smitten like a kitten for...could go through that soul mitosis as well, I mean possibly...but Asmodeus was like smitten like a kitten for Sarah.

in Helluva Boss, Asmodeus aka Ozzie is smitten like a kitten for Fizzarolli...

Ozzie can’t lie, the fans know he is smitten like a kitten for Fizzy....

it’s Sarah All Over Again....but like slightly different.

Ozzie from Helluva Boss and King Asgore from Undertale, should both be called Fluffybuns....maybe call Ozzie “Fluffybuns” just to mess with him.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lucifer, Ozzie, Mammon and the others in both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, are cute idiots, and give off those himbo vibes...

if this was like a thing in real life, this would be possibly one of the reasons why the Goddess shouldn’t of been dethroned, it upsets the balance, but try telling that to the humans who back in the ancient stupid ages and think war solves everything...

and if Archangel Samael is Cain’s Bio-Dad, he ain’t really a good one...

and as weird as it might be, I think Cain possibly needs both a hug and therapy.

I still think both Cain and Abel were in the wrong, you do NOT harm fluffy babies in that way, Abel! you just don’t....

it’s one thing to use livestock for food and clothes, and yeah some animals you can have be like animal companions and even be emotional support animals.

but I can’t be the only one who is just realizing what Abel was doing was wrong, and the theory he could of got way worse later on.

Cain still shouldn’t of done what he did, but there could of still been some hidden meaning to it, something we never really thought of before....

but yeah, I still think those two were both in the wrong, but Cain needed spiritual and emotional healing, which is why I think he needs both a hug and therapy.

and like I pointed out before, even if Samael is Cain’s Bio-Dad, he ain’t the boss of me....even if Cain is my ancestor, and well I think because Seth is also my ancestor, wouldn’t that mean they both are kind of Dunkles...? 

and if he turns out to have a hand in Cain’s emotional and spiritual damage,

I might have another reason to think about placing him on the list...

you know the list that has to do with my wishing to punch those who deserve it in the groin, even if I never did that before and it is just wishful thinking...

Mammon was the first one I thought about doing that to, which is why he is at the top of the list....

I guess I could think about adding Asmodeus to that list, even if he is way bigger than me, cause well I’m only around 5′5″....

and it is just wishful thinking of something I would like to do to those who deserve it.....but if I was able to, I would try my best to punch Ozzie in the groin.

but Mammon would be the first.....and he freaking knows why, even if it is normal for people to be greedy, there is just some lines it should never cross...

anyway even if this might not happen in the canon of the shows, the whole sinners being allowed to move to the other rings to fix the overpopulation in the pride ring would possibly help a lot, and well it might only happen in the fanon timelines.

and it could be true that when a sinner does die from a holy weapon, their essence ends up becoming part of the buildings and items...

for all we know, Sir Pentious’s Hat was one of those victims of Exterminators.     

if Sir Pentious somehow could change into humanoid form, but like still have a hat head, he might end up having a rival for Arackniss...

pretty sure Arackniss might classify as a “Fallen Angel” in a certain Fan Series.....like starting out as a Sinner Demon, but then end up becoming a Angel, and then technically falling, and not really going back to being a sinner demon, but had become a Fallen Angel....some might get where I’m going with that theory, and it having to do with a certain fan series, and if it turn out my theory is canon in that fan series, I would be surprised, and maybe even happy. maybe I would end up freaking out. XD

and yeah, I’m talking about the Audio Series of Arackniss, that is by Axelgear

(and just like the canon series of both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, it isn’t for kids....and I guess would be like 18+ and for a mature audiences.)

anyway there might be a bigger reason why the pride ring is the most overpopulated, it might have to do with keeping all the sinners from going to the other rings....and if this does became so, Arackniss could end up adding Ozzie and Fizzy to his himbo harem....

we already know he is a bit of a moronsexual....he goes for cute idiots.

there can be different levels of a himbo, and with how Monty The Python is, he would be the highest rank himbo.....but probably come in second or third place...meaning there would be someone who more of a himbo than him....

Papyrus from Undertale, would come in second, and the one who would come in first would be Tucker from Red Vs Blue....I was thinking Caboose, but Tucker works as first place for now, because he thought he went back in time once and thought Donut was Sarge, so yeah he gets the highest rank of himbo...

Doctor Deep from Sonic Prime comes in fourth place, that he has to share with Eggman from Sonic Boom, because they both are Egg-Himbos.

and my being super weird aside, it could be possible that the overpopulation could be solved by relocation, which Charlie does have the right idea by suggesting redemption, but that might not be able to help everyone...

like it could help those who might not want to try it, but don’t really want to try.

but even if there are some who do try it, they might not be able to be redeemed because they just can’t be redeemed, while only some percent of the sinners of hell can be redeemed and be reformed into angels and send to heaven.

I don’t think it would just be me who figured this out, some fans might of also figured this out as they figured out the real reason for the overpopulation in hell, but it being more in the pride ring than the other rings....

maybe Lilith should take Lucifer over her knees and spank him for allowing it to get this far....no one should misuse the spanking, and it should only be use if it is truly needed, and with how some parents and those who are suppose to watch little kids are, they need to make sure not to over do it and not put all their strength into a spanking, it could possibly cause emotional damage, I mean it could be possible it could for some....

plus there can be a right and wrong way how some teachers handle little kids, like sending them in timeout way too much if they accidentally do something wrong without meaning to, and the teachers don’t try to explain in a calm and gentle way, instead of just making the child feel bad and at some point it is going to cross a line where they will stop playing with the other kids and keep to themselves....anyway it could be possible that there can be a right and wrong way...

and well Lucifer isn’t a child, but doesn’t mean he ain’t acting like one it would appear, and him keeping the sinners in his ring, and not letting them go live in the other rings, is possibly part of the reason for the overpopulation.

so Charlie’s redemption plan and even letting those who aren’t ready for redemption or have no interest in it, should be allowed to move to the other rings, as it would make the pride ring less overpopulated.

so yeah the sinners might need to go through a relocation process, either by going to Charlie’s Hotel for redemption or moving to one of the other rings.

also the whole Arackniss becoming a Fallen Angel in the Arackniss Audio Series by Axelgear, is more of a fan theory....and I wouldn’t be surprised if that theory turns out to be true....it could possibly make Arackniss a higher rank than a Overlord....like he could possibly be made as a Duke or a Prince.

but anyway, it could still be possible that if some of the sinners were moved to each of the other rings, it will cause the overpopulation in the pride ring to be less and it would help a lot, but also some of the half of the sinners that do move to the other rings, can be ones who want redemption but didn’t feel ready for it yet, and once they are ready, they can go to the pride ring (when it isn’t the cleansing day...) and go to Charlie’s Hotel.

and even if this might not happen in the canon timelines, it can work for the fanon timelines, even in crossover timelines.

plus this would be fan headcanon, that would work in the fanon...

maybe Lilith should ground her husband Lucifer for causing the overpopulation.....just place him in the box of shame, he will stay in the box as a timeout. XD

and another punishment for him, would be that he isn’t allowed to play with his rubber ducks, or be around his Lilith or even hold her and kiss her....

like picture Charlie’s Dad screaming “why must you torture me so?!”

and well the reply would be like “you know why young man, now back into the timeout box of shame!” XD

I’m weird, and even if some might not fully agree with it, I believe in a Goddess now too....though when someone misuses the words “may the lord have mercy on you.” or “may god have mercy on you.” because you come out and say you started to believe in a Goddess now as well, but when you freaking try to get that toxic-religious jerk to try to understand they are hurting your feelings and making you feel really bad as well as making you cry, of course they wont listen and will keep throwing those misused words at ya....

which is why I had to block that toxic-religious jerk a few years ago, who kept throwing either “May the lord have mercy on you” or “may god have mercy on you.” and I know that it was one of the two, and it still hurt my feelings.

I know I am better from what happen, and I don’t want to go through that again.

but that toxic-religious jerk didn’t listen to reason, they kept throwing those words at me, and they possibly thought they were “helping” but really they weren’t and I pointed out how it was making me feel bad and making me cry, but they wouldn’t listen, they kept throwing those same words and it wasn’t a good thing, and plus I had figured out what they were doing was misusing those words.

I think maybe that could count as religious trauma, well toxic-religious trauma.

not all people who are religious or spiritual will be like that person.

and what they did, was still wrong, but they still wouldn’t listen that they were making me feel bad and that could be the case with others they may have hurt if it wasn’t just me they had caused toxic-religious trauma to...

and I know I can’t really talk to my family about it, because they don’t know I don’t really go by Christian anymore, even if I can still believe in God, but I also believe in a Goddess now too...

I’m in different closets, and one of the them being the Aroaceflux closet...

and there is the Neo-Spiritual Closet.                                                                   

even if my family might disagree, but I don’t think they would be as bad as some families that take their disapproval a bit too far, and might try to “fix” someone who is Ace....there really needs to be a shirt that reads “being h*rny shouldn’t be mandatory, so stop shaming me for being Ace.”

but instead of the word Ace, it has a Spade instead.

anyway not everyone has to agree with this theory about how the overpopulation in the pride ring, might be caused by that rule that says the sinners can’t go to the other rings.

and if sinners were to move to some of the other rings, it could be possible half of those sinners could end up becoming Overlords in the rings they end up moving to....

like there being a Overlord of the Lust Ring for one...

I know this idea and theory, might not be revealed to be canon, but it can still work in the fanon....and it does make sense that the overpopulation in the pride ring, and in the pentagram city, might have to do with how Lucifer is running things, and not understanding he can’t just keep all the sinners in one basket, and the pride ring is that basket.

anyway in my next post, I think I will talk about a FNAF theory, or maybe a Sonic Prime theory...

also I think Charlie could still be able to redeem some of the sinners, but that doesn’t mean she can redeem all of them, as some of them can’t really be redeemed, and have possibly done far worse than the three V’s and Alastor. 

and yeah, as weird as it might sound...if my theory is true, and the reason why the sinners can’t go on that elevator in one of the episode of Helluva Boss...

is because of that rule and it being why the pride ring is so overpopulated...

well, that still makes me think Charlie’s Dad should be put in a timeout in a box.

and he isn’t allowed to cuddle Lilith or hold any of his rubber ducks so long as he is in that timeout box of shame...even I would ground him if I was able to...

anyway I think I will wait until tomorrow to post more theories, but maybe tomorrow I can talk about a FNAF theory, or maybe Undertale or Deltarune theory, or maybe Sonic Prime theory....I can decide later or tomorrow...

also I hope some don’t take the theory and fan headcanon about the cause of the overpopulation in the pride ring in Hazbin Hotel.

and only some fans can end up predicting future canon of a show or video game. like Kris from Deltarune ending up eating all the pie.

anyway I think after I post this, I will go listen to that radio that started to act freaky at times with me....still reminds me a bit of Alastor.

I can always watch Transformers Animated, Transformers Prime and even RWBY, later tonight or tomorrow...

so anyway, it’s okay not everyone thinks this theory could turn out to be canon.

I know it might not, and it will just be in fanon, I mean they didn’t reveal that Megatron went through mitosis in TFA, and Sari is his daughter and she was a hatchling and wasn’t like the other protoforms that were taken from Yoketron’s Dojo...but fans do figure out things, even ones that never get fully revealed at the end of a show series.

or like in theory, Ultra Magnus turning out to be Megazarak, and not really being the Original Ultra Magnus, Megazarak could of placed the real one in stasis before Optimus’s Team ended up on Earth....

if Megazarak can’t be a big shot in the Decepticons, he might as well be so in the Autobots....

Megazarak use to be the leader of the Decepticons, but was exiled by Megatron.....so yeah, I believe “Ultra Magnus” the very one that got hurt by Shockwave, is actually Megazarak, and the real Ultra Magnus is being kept hostage at a secret base that belongs to Megazarak who is also disguised as Ultra Magnus....I think I will talk more about that theory another time...

but I hope some like the theory about why I think the overpopulation could be how it is in Hazbin Hotel, not everyone has to take this theory seriously, and in fanon it could be solved with having some of the sinners go through a relocation to the some of the other rings, and if some wanted to, they can also have the choice of going to Charlie’s Hotel and try to get redeemed even if they do ended up moving to one of the other rings before heading to the hotel.  

#hazbin hotel theory #helluva boss theory #lucifer hazbin hotel #overpopulation #himbo vibes #cute idiots #groin punch #solutions #relocation #fanon #headcanon #mature audiences only #not for kids #may 2023 #do not reblog without permission