#You just know he'd make you feel better

[chicknstripz]

omg what about “Can you play with my hair?” with Hunter 🥺

∘₊✧ [[ Chronic ]] ✧₊∘

Synopsis|| Hunter helps the reader deal with both her pain and her internalised guilt. Word Count || 1073 Tags || Chronic Pain, Dealing with pain, Guilt, Acts of Service, Fluff, Feels, Fem!Reader, References to reader's hair length

Sometimes, just sometimes, you wished you were normal.

The low ache that greeted you as you woke was familiar, expected even, the hours of sleeping on a hard mattress having ravaged your poor body. The low pillow was no better, the twinge of pain as you turned to one side making you inhale a breath. You knew that if you stayed like this it’d get worse, the ‘bed rest’ further stiffening your form until the smallest movement became impossible, but moving? Well that seemed an insurmountable peak on mornings like this, the incessant throb making you slam your eyes shut.

“Another pain flare cyar’ika?”

There was no hiding your pain from the man who shared your bed. Not only was he a soldier, familiar with the lingering pain that could follow an injury, but he was familiar with you - his months of experience telling him you were having a bad morning. Stars. You hated that Hunter to deal with this, hated that he was stuck with someone like you! You knew it was stupid to think such things, that he loved you for all that you were - including your health struggles, but the guilt was so strong sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like a burden.

“Yes”

He placed his palm between your shoulder blades, the barely there contact making your heart skip a beat. Stars! When did he learn the exact level of pressure you could tolerate? It felt like he’d known forever, the slow sweep of his palm spreading warmth across your aching back.

“I’ll get the medpack.”

You tried your best to make a grab for him, the dull ache elevating to a sharp stabbing sensation as you pulled at tense muscles.

“Please don’t.”

“But you’re in pain”

“We’re low on supplies as it is, please don’t waste any on me.”

You could cut the silence with a knife, his pained expression just about killing you as you turned your head toward him.

“What’s this really about Mesh’la?”

The endearment melts your heart, cracks the guilt just enough that you can whisper your worries to the morning air.

“I --- don’t want to be a burden.”

His hand drifts upward, tracing the line of your spine. He applies just enough pressure to ease the ache in your muscles, the radiant heat of pain replaced by the soothing heat of his touch.

“Your needs will never be a burden my love, no matter how complex they become.”

You scoff despite yourself, the sickly feeling of despondency settling low in your gut.

“You deserve better then to care --”

“Isn’t that for me to decide?”

He trails off, the sting of his voice soothed by the palm of his hand. He’s not angry. Can never be angry. He knows everyone deals with pain differently, has seen how hard it can hit Echo despite his best efforts to remind his vod that he’s a highly capable soldier. He also knows it’s hard to watch people who don’t live with pain go about their lives, to watch the other couples as they dance from place to place with barely a care in the world. But it isn’t what he wants! He wants this! For better, worse, and everything in between, his exhale slows as he curls his thumb into the hollow beneath your ear.

“I don’t mean to be harsh with you, but I hate watching you beat yourself up over something you can’t control. You’re everything I ever wanted. Strong, capable, beautiful, caring -- the mere thought that you might end our relationship because society labels you as less able? It terrifies me --”

He swallows hard, the sound audible despite the low hum of the engines.

“--you’re the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.”

The confession hits hard, the ache in your shoulders replaced by the hollow ache in your heart. You’d been so caught up in how you felt about your pain, your guilt, that you hadn’t thought about how it might affect others. It takes all your effort to turn, the mere action of lifting yourself on one arm taking more than usual, but it’s worth it to look him in the eye - the rich depths of his brown eyes warming you from the inside out.

“Oh Hunter, why didn’t you tell me.”

“Seems you’re not the only one who has trouble articulating your feelings.”

You laugh, grateful for the support of his muscular arm as he laces it beneath you.

“Big words for this time of the morning.” 

He gives you one of his famous looks of displeasure, the light that danced across his eyes, the only thing that gives away his hidden amusement. Dry humor had become the backbone of your relationship, the teasing back and forth allowing you to explore your feelings for one another. It was, perhaps, your favorite thing about this relationship, followed closely by his deep need to keep the smile on your face.

“Then perhaps I should show you how I feel instead”

The kiss is slow and lazy, a heady sealing of your lips that takes your breath away. You imagine that he can hear the frantic beat of your heart as he gathers you to his chest, and can feel the warm buzz that coats your frayed nerves with soothing heat. The way his fingers tremble against the back of your neck only adds to the sensation, his touch-starved nature slipping through as he peppers revenant kisses from the corner of your lips to the shell of your ear.

“Now, Is there anything else I can do to make you feel good ner karta?”

“Can you play with my hair?”

“Your wish is my command.”

Time slows as he cards his fingers into your hair, the sensation of his fingernails trailing along your scalp drawing a pleased moan from your lips. This was, perhaps, your most treasured of intimacies. The quiet sound of his breath in your ears, the thrum of his heart against your chest, and the rhythmic flow of his fingers allowed you to relax - to be you again - to pack the pain into a box so that you can go about your day in relative peace.

“Hunter?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

He chuckles, the sound echoing in his chest as he presses a kiss to your neck.

“You don’t need to thank me, just feel good.”

And you do, you do, your morning so much better now your sweet partner has chased your fears away.

#tbb hunter x reader #hunter x reader #tbb hunter #chronic pain #You just know he'd make you feel better #<3 #request #one shot #short and sweet

[lorelune]

jing yuan doesn't really brat tame. he lets you get angry and hissy. you can put on any attitude, he's so unphased. unbothered! you can kick and scream and shout for attention until you tire yourself out. when you've finally ran yourself in circles, so frustrated that you're at the point of tears, jing yuan will tug your hair just right and with the kindest smile say, "now isn't this easier? why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

#lore loops #jy will let you be the biggest brat in the world until you collapse in on yourself and then he is happy to pick up the pieces <3 #he'd rather avoid the behavior all together but... if you're truly in a mood and are unresponsive to a bit of probing?? #he will wait until you're exhausted and worn down #then talk down to you... make sure you know he cares and he'll tend to you now. he could've done this in the beginning #if you just took things a little easier on yourself #wouldn't that feel better? #thirsts

[kawaiichibiart]

I need more fics of Zuko working at a teashop with Iroh (be it Pao's (iirc) or the Jasmine Dragon) but he's just really fucking short. Because can you imagine, be it Jet, Katara, anyone who's met Zuko (either as Zuko or as Li) stumbles into the teashop, makes a scene and comes off as a bad guy because they bullied this little boy?

I think I've read just one fanfic where this was a thing and I need more people to adopt the idea.

I just think it'd be funny if Katara tried to do what Jet did (let's say this happened a few days prior to Azula capturing Ba Sing Se), left because she realized no one believed her, returned later with the rest of the Gaang, Sokka tried backing her claim, he ALSO gets reprimanded for making stuff up about a little boy, and meanwhile this is all happening Aang and Toph are having a delightful time with their new friend "Li." Should they do something? Maybe. Will they? Nah, anyways Li what tea would you recommend?

#zuko #katara #aang #jet #sokka #toph #li from the tea shop #atla #i love the idea of zuko just accepting his new role as a child (you are one honey but whatever) #and using it to get out of trouble with people who recognize him #''how dare you say such things about mushi's nephew?'' #''the audacity of some of you; you're older than he is you should know better than bully a child!'' #''li is such a darling i wish he'd smile more and maybe he would if SOMEONE didn't make him feel uncomfortable.'' #etc. etc. etc. #of the gaang i think toph would be the one to go with it #know her friends are saying the truth #and just straight up deny what they're saying #she knows that this little boy is her friends enemy (and hers but like they haven't fought so is he really?) #but it's so much more amusing to see katara and sokka scramble to get support #she's not sure where aang stands until she hears him try to befriend ''li'' #bonus points to aang if he succeeds (like actually succeeds)

[volivolition]

suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.

#chemi chats #there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter #im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it? #he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun. #a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink. #he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best #pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful #he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and #it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes. #oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now #but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine #conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off #subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking. #he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it.. #hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting... #task: swept up #okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye #also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)' #funny fella. i love you.

[sovonight]

surviving on drawing/writing the barest scaffolding and filling in the rest of the blanks in my mind

#sovo art #xan x radri #torn on whether xan's marriage vows would be his classic 5 page essay or if he'd go 'you already know everything i'd say here so #let's just make this official. it's already been 3 years bc you kept accepting quests please this day was so hard to plan' #meanwhile radri only has one paragraph and she fumbles it. xan is still moved to tears however #anyway ive also been roughly altering scenes to fit radri better & feeling just slightly guilty abt it bc the way she flinches emotionally #sometimes means that xan changes to be a little gentler which may come off as ooc--but i did design her for them to go together that way... #she Is meant to change him somewhat... #her setup is perfect for jaheira not thinking that xan's the best match for her though loL #like yeah xan who defaults to silent treatment when there's an issue & radri who defaults to avoiding confrontation when there's an issue #it would appear that those issues would never get ironed out #but it's not abt having someone who complements those bad habits--it's having them pull themselves out of that habit #prompted by each other's actions--reactions--love #and they are both so scared and so brave

[frecklystars]

GOD!!!!! 😭😭💓💗💖💓💓💞💞💕💟💝💘💝💝💞💗💘💝💟💓💗💞💕💟💝💘💓💖💓💕💕

#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #love notes #💕♬♪ ♡ I fall more in love with you every day (Blue) Valentine - ̗̀💙💌🍦 ̖́- #love that every Ryan character has just become another bf to make me feel safe and loved #I have come so far from where I was one year ago #i love that i can self ship with this guy and im like YES he loves me he protects me he would never hurt me #its hard to feel that way 24/7 but i feel that way at least half of the time now #and thats all that matters is that im getting better even if its fluctuating and messy. i AM getting better #because i know one year ago today i would not have been able to self ship with any characters whatsoever #Dean isn't even a villain or a serial killer or whatever he's just some dude. just some guy in a jacket. #but back then i just could not for the life of me feel safe with anyone bc the abuse was so fresh #and just. thank god i am at a point where i can ship with some characters now. even when it's so goddamn HARD #its at least HAPPENING. y'know. like. i am healing even if it's so fucking SLOW going #the fact that i can look at this 5 second scene and feel a burst of love in my heart #and think to myself 'yeah yeah he loves me so much he'd hold me through my nightmares too' #that's. huge. compared to a year ago where i just. could not. #it hasn't even been a year since i cut my abuser from my life yet and im already making little progress #even if it's. so. minuscule. there is progress happening just bc of the passing of time #and the fact that Barbie came into my life exactly when it was supposed to and Ryan's been in all these movies i can focus on #it all worked out like the stars were aligned perfectly for me to meet these F/Os and for them to heal me #i don't think that's coincidence or accident or anything. i think that's some... universal or spiritual thing #like something out there is looking out for me even if it's just the galaxy itself #these characters were meant for me and i was planned to meet them and for them to heal me #slowly one day at a time. ANYWAY. WAHHH. HUGGING AND KISSING DEAN PEREIRA MY SILLY BOYFRIEND

[background-noise-headache]

Thinking about a Twilight AU where Bella's reasons for wanting to become a vampire have very little to do with romantic love for Edward and everything to do with finding the family she's always wanted. Renee made Bella parent her, so Bella didn't get much of a childhood. And Charlie's great but it's just them. The Cullens imitate the cheesy family sit-com that Bella's probably idealized her whole childhood. So she wants to be with them forever and ever.

#twilight #bella swan #twilight saga #for someone who insisted the cullens were the perfect family SM really did not deliver on the found family vibes #but is was her romance vampire!gerard way/oc self-insert #this is brought to you by this tiktok I saw theorizing that Bella and Jasper were meant to be fated #they used book canon details but they also looked at the themes of the story and the character arcs #would have loved if Edward learned that his mind reading wasn't exactly a window into the soul and he had to actually- #-spend time with and listen to people to really know them #maybe he'd realize Rosalie isn't shallow she's just hurting and doesn't feel safe with someone reading her thoughts at all times #tiktok also said Edward and Alice also made a better couple from a thematic perspective #their powers allow them to have silent conversations and challenge them to creatively surprise the other #and if SM can make a big deal about how Edward not being able to read her mind is part of what draws him to her to justify the romance #I can be like hey what about the way these characters and their gifts work? #these notes are brought to you by an all-nighter spent reading Jasper/Bella fanfic for the first time and- #three hours of sleep and ADHD turning my lit major brain into a ping-pong ball thinking about literary theme alternatives that fit better

[mustangs-flames]

Mark gave Thatcher the "abandoned puppy eyes" without even meaning to and Thatch fell for it immediately lmao

Mark has that 'sad wet shelter dog' vibe that makes you immediately want to help and take care of him lmao

#hail true body au #mustang answers! #htb mark #htb thatcher #thatcher fell for it the first time he met that kid in november 1984 #he never forgot about mark nor forgave himself for not being able to help him then #and for letting mark go to his grandparents knowing they weren't the nicest of people #he wishes he'd fought harder for dave to get custody even though dave was clearly not in any position to take in mark #thatcher just thinks there more he should've done even though he knows that legally he did everything he could #and he's trying to make up for that by helping mark now #even though he's terrified he'll turn out like his own father and potentially hurt mark even more #damn this was a ramble lmao. sorry hjzdskgx #i just have a lot of thoughts about thatcher and his past and who he wants to be #i love characters that feel like they always have to be responsible and in control of the situation #because otherwise they feel worthless #thatcher you are such good parent material you'll see lmao #and so is dave #eventually #when he's ready to step up and be better for his nephew/godson #dave just needs to work through the baggage his parents left him with :(

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night.......... #actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it? #not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭'' #first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy. #anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon. #hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

[mahvaladara]

"You are my happyness..."

I don't deserve them. I caused them so much pain. I was so selfish and in my obsession caused them so much suffering. I was disillusioned, and I selfishly hurt them, because I was a coward, because I was a monster.

I don't deserve them.

And yet, they forgave me, they love me, they care for me.

"I know the true you, I have seen the true you. You're not the monster you see, or the selfish coward you loath. You're not the lonely and scared boy in the dark, or the hopeless and sad teenager in the rain nor the broken and suffering man covered in blood."

"You're a beautiful soul, broken into pieces and still holding together trying to ammend it's mistakes, take responsibility for them. I see, the bright and curious spirit trying to learn and grow with the world around them. And I see the kind and caring lover, who will always value everything above himself."

"I see my love. You are my happiness."

I don't deserve them. I am so much trouble. Frail sickly and so much trouble.

But I am selfish... So very selfish that I want to believe that.

I want to be their happiness, and I will do everything to make ammends, to make them happy, even sacrifice myself for it.

You are my life. All of it.

#spoilers in the tags #vulnarable tol with strong smol is my life #arlo #fannar #arlo has a hard time coping with his feelings of guilt and there isn't one day he doesn't feel crushing guilt for all the pain he caused #but he loves fannar deeply #so much he'd rather sacrifice himself to make fannar happy #even live when he doesn't want to to make fannar happy #even try to be better to make fannar happy #he doesn't care about himself #just fannar #it's a work in progress #arlo is very psychologically damaged that's why he says he's so much trouble #he knows his mental state isn't the best and that keeping him functional is a lot of work #so sometimes his will to make fannar happy conflicts with his belief that he's a burden who's just weighing fannar down #and that he doesn't deserve him #it's complicated #it's #i will live to make you happy #but alive i am such a burden that i should unalive myself

[sensesdialed]

the way some people will just go out of their way to misconstrue m.cu peter is like. can we get a new bit maybe

#now genuine mcu writing criticism i understand and agree with. also some choices regarding his creation in general #but talking about him as if he just accepts may's death and 'his fate' right there in comparison to atsv is. oh my god #he did not just say 'okay' and move on. tobey and andrew were NOT telling him to accept may's death 'because it had to happen' #they were showing solidarity with this grieving kid and trying to prevent him from spiraling over something that had Already Happened #and this whole movie was peter REFUSING TO LISTEN and SAVING THE LIVES of multiple villains that he was told were supposed to die #not ONCE in any movie he's been in has he EVER been one to listen to authority?? if he had been told that may would die before it happened #you're telling me you think he WOULDN'T have tried to save her? #if he were around for atsv he would empathize with and side with miles! #like i already HAD thoughts about the very similar position he was just in and how complicated he'd feel here but since spiderman fans #can't fucking handle nuance i'm making a point of the fact that he KNOWS where miles is coming from first #i also think the spiderverse movies are objectively better but there is no reason to be This obtuse about his characterization #🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc #atsv spoilers #kind of??

[lazarus---rising]

love (hate) when im Thinking about my childhhod and im like "yeah it was pretty normal and good ithink" and then i fuckingg Rember

#like oh that one wasnt very good ! #personal #<- ish #<- but boy are these tags about to be #this is about the time i didnt respond to my dad's text when i was in the middle of a highschool tour with my sibling #(<- they came with cause why the hell not) #and on the drive back home he went on this rant about how we dont know what money's worth (completely unrelated !) #and he literally told us To Our Faces that it wouldve been better if we werent born ! like sir whose fault is that one !! #and theres definitely more but for once im thankful for my head blocking shit out of my memories #and how hed yell at me for making Basic Fucking MIstakes (once when i was EIGHT i spilt water down the stairs and #he yelled at me for .i forgot how long but too fukcing long #and made me get him to bring my cups downstairs for a month after and then he forgot and yelled at me AGAIN #for asking him to bring my cup down AFTER TELLING ME I HAD TO #and so so much more like . the yelling got so bad that when i twisted my ankle #(only real ones remember) #i was scared of telling him cause i KNEW he'd be like 'do you have any clue how much the doctor's gonna cost blah blah' #and i just . didnt tell him #we used to have money issues and he'd always make me feel like shit for asking for anything that costed money ever #so i just didnt tell him when i was sick or injured or when i needed something cause he would get mad at ME like . hello #AnyWay ! so yeah thats the rundown of some of my severe trauma that still affects me to this day

[bumblingbabooshka]

Worst Guy Ever - Also, Unfortunately, Very Homosexual Convo. (subtextually)

#Evidence of Tom being a bad boyfriend is also in a file labeled 'Tom wants to fuck Steth so bad' #but seriously I wanted to deck him in this convo v_v FORTUNATELY it is bearable bc I think that's the point - like the narrative is #showing that Tom is 'ruining what he's worked for' by being a dick to B'Elanna so I'm not like meta-mad about it (like OTHER Tom/B'Elanna #moments) <- Ex: Tom saying 'I have a beautiful girlfriend' instead of something like #'someone I care about/a girl I love' but that's a like...tv writing thing. I don't like it but I know it's a tv writing thing #Woman as like a status symbol instead of a person you care about #I never care about Tom's inner conflict in Tom episodes (with the exception of the one where he gets thrown in solitary - him going full #rogue was fun) bc his inner conflict is always the most boomer bullshit #Literally he's just having a midlife crisis in this one. #BUT...GUYS....IMPORTANT NEWS...BULLDOG'S IN THIS ONE?? #BULLDOG ?? My enemy BULLDOG BRISCOE from Frasier??? Good to see you man! This makes sense. #Steth....WHY would you choose to turn into a guy with a detailed and established web of interconnected relationships on a ship with a #complex hierarchy? Steth really thought he'd be able to play it cool on VOYAGER...the USS codependent...nu uh #they sniff you out and maul you like gophers on that baby #EHHEHEEH the Emh is funny as hell...'WOW...I had no idea me being so perfect at everything was making you feel bad! It all makes sense to #me now...' / Steth(as Tom):....Yeah v_v #SNRKEHEHEHEHEHEH GUYS..I'm taking a mental health day so I can reflect on myself and how even though I'll never be as good as the Doctor #I'm probably still worth SOMETHING #Steth(as Tom): Hey now B'Elanna...let's not go around blaming Steth for things. He's a pretty cool guy actually. #Okay yes confirmed! The above convo is also to show that Steth is 'being better' than Tom by telling B'Elanna what she wants to hear #unfortunately this does not make me like Tom more #SHE WANTS SO LITTLE. SHE ASKS FOR SO LITTLE. #BC Tom DOES say that B'Elanna is 'overreacting' and basically calls her crazy even when it's not for a later moral lesson and #this isn't framed as bad by the narrative. If your girl's always mad at you then your relationship ISN'T good. #There's literally NO resolution once again to their relationship issues. Tom shows her his garage program and when B'Elanna says she feels #she doesn't value her he says 'Yeah I do.' episode ends. #T/B scenes are literally [conflict arises then they argue or kiss] <- it is never...RESOLVED... #Me @ The Writers: (B'Elanna voice) Is this your idea of an adult conversation? #OH. Gay subtext: I hate spending time with my girl I want to hang out and live the bachelor life with my cool guy friend. #Tom's grease monkey program might as well be a subscription to playgirl magazine sit DOWN dude

[digirainebow]

i didn't think jacob would be arguing with olivia, wanting it almost as much as her. what the hell. i expected the self defeated, taking one for the team attitude but actively needing it like her? when he had been trying to stop her all night? i feel like i've been blasted by a buckshot

#digi discusses #the world needs more jacobs and i just took him out of it #did he go back to being a kid again? to see the lights of possibility again? #to feel like he's doing something exciting and worthwhile again not by making art but by being “freed” by maggie's knowledge once more? #or did he. choose another timeline entirely? augh i'm gonna have to watch the ending back again...where did he go... #maggie would be turning in her graaaaaave to know he chose this. she would hate that for him she would h a t e it #the anna parallels. stuck between time only able to hear him on radios if you are lucky. fuck off #becoming an urban legend...i think he would have liked that. immortalized just like he wanted. ugh wait did riley do that for him #but the details getting lost his name becoming warped over time? i think riley (and i) would feel it was almost disrespectful to his memory #the fact he puts meeting riley on the same pedestal as saving camena. god god god god. even when they aren't friends they are. #riley talking to athena like a person like he did. i am MISERABLE #its the dys exocolonist thing all over again. he's happy and that's...good. but he could have been just as happy if he'd stayed too #every single time i think about the hug i'm going to cry #every single ending has done this to me there is literally no winning #being kinda mean to him was bad enough but this ending just feels! it feels like riley. like i. drove him to. #girl i need to log off bye #oxenfree II spoilers #yeah there's the essay. just took a minute #i will make another one about hurt healed olivia in a bit too because that. made me sob. that one hit really...close to home #he says when he was a teenager he would have fallen for it if someone told him he could open a portal in the sky and make things better #what a liar he would still do it now #EDIT: NO i knew it he says almost exactly what nona says after you hug her when you hug him. the orange-associated characters strike again

[bluebayard]

i am so emotional all the time about imagine dragons. yes i'm watching live in vegas again

#it was like. i was like 12. being neglected #had no friends. bullied constantly. forced to hide everything i felt and just be agreeable #no help or release from the pain i was in but i had music #and in all the saturation of pop music i found imagine dragons and the album that'd just come out #smoke and mirrors and before that #night visions #and both these albums whole-heartedly unabashedly about mental health struggles and feeling so fucking alone #and like yk dan reynolds himself talking about how he felt #like there wasn't a future and he couldn't confidently say there'd be another album because he just #he struggled too and there is just this struggle of #these dark pits in your life where you can't see out and when you're stuck in the middle #it feels like there is only one way out. and its so hard to see past it #and i like #felt that in my fucking soul #saw them as my first concert and he'd said something about like. so let's keep going #let's see those better tomorrows #lets make another album and sing some new songs and lets get there together #so i said as long as he could do it i could do it too #and you know what? #we did. #we fucking did #purrsonal

[adore-gregor]

I wrote that i hope he's doing well and enjoying his new life 🥰

Gregor thanked me and answered that he's doing well and has many new exciting things in his life :)

So glad to hear this <3 🥹❤️

Also thanks to him for answering all my questions 🥺🥰❤️

#most important thing is that gregor is happy 🥰🥰 #i will forever only wish him all the happiness and all the best in life 🥰 #so this makes me happy he deserves it all 🥹❤️ #but ngl also hurt a bit asking him this question while i'm so glad he's happy❤️ i also still miss him as a skijumper sm 😕 #sometimes i wish he would miss skijumping a little bit more 😅 #because for some time i hoped maybe he would still realize he misses ski jumping and still needs it in his life so he'd come back 🥺 #but i have given up that hope by now #also kind of hurts seing him happier now because that means he wasn't really that happy anymore towards the end in ski jumping 🥺💔 #gregor who loved ski jumping sm yeah hurts to know 💔 #but it probably is for the better especially with some of the things he said in interviews lately :(( #it makes me see the sport a bit differently ngl altough some of the things are already well know #but yeah still - will post about this later #no but i am happy for him i really am ❤️ don't get me wrong it's just a mixed feeling if you know what i am #but the most important is that gregor is happy 🥰 #ski jumping #gregor schlierenzauer