#AnyWay ! so yeah thats the rundown of some of my severe trauma that still affects me to this day

[lazarus---rising]

love (hate) when im Thinking about my childhhod and im like "yeah it was pretty normal and good ithink" and then i fuckingg Rember

#like oh that one wasnt very good ! #personal #<- ish #<- but boy are these tags about to be #this is about the time i didnt respond to my dad's text when i was in the middle of a highschool tour with my sibling #(<- they came with cause why the hell not) #and on the drive back home he went on this rant about how we dont know what money's worth (completely unrelated !) #and he literally told us To Our Faces that it wouldve been better if we werent born ! like sir whose fault is that one !! #and theres definitely more but for once im thankful for my head blocking shit out of my memories #and how hed yell at me for making Basic Fucking MIstakes (once when i was EIGHT i spilt water down the stairs and #he yelled at me for .i forgot how long but too fukcing long #and made me get him to bring my cups downstairs for a month after and then he forgot and yelled at me AGAIN #for asking him to bring my cup down AFTER TELLING ME I HAD TO #and so so much more like . the yelling got so bad that when i twisted my ankle #(only real ones remember) #i was scared of telling him cause i KNEW he'd be like 'do you have any clue how much the doctor's gonna cost blah blah' #and i just . didnt tell him #we used to have money issues and he'd always make me feel like shit for asking for anything that costed money ever #so i just didnt tell him when i was sick or injured or when i needed something cause he would get mad at ME like . hello #AnyWay ! so yeah thats the rundown of some of my severe trauma that still affects me to this day