I’ve always had a bit of a baby face. It’s not the worst thing, but occasionally gets me into awkward situations. Like when I was 23 having a flight attendant ask me in a baby voice if this was my first time flying alone. I was tired and befuddled and eventually blurted out, “I’m in my 20’s?”
But going back to school has been pretty funny. My classmates are largely 18-20. And to a one, none of them clocked me as being in my thirties. The highest any of them guessed was 25 and even that was said with extreme skepticism.
After telling a teammate over lunch what my age was she spent the rest of the meal staring at me in shock and confusion, clearly deeply shaken that someone she’d known over a year was a decade older than she thought.
But my absolute favorite was a classmate sliding up to me in figure drawing in sophomore year and dramatically whispering, “I- I heard you’re old!!”
I looked at them mildly and asked, “How old did you hear I was?”
They lowered their voice even more, as if the number they were about to utter was so scandalous they needed to hide its entry into the world.
“I heard you were… thirty!”
“Yep.”
They slammed back into their chair so hard it skidded backwards and shifted into high volume to exclaim, “WHAT! You like like you just graduated high school!!!”
I was laughing by that point, “No I don’t! You look fresh out of high school! I look thirty but all the actors who play high schoolers on TV are thirty so you can’t tell the difference!”
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“Your brother is adorable.” The cashier cooed at Danny, peering over the counter with a smile. “What’s his name?”
Danny looked down to the surly, scowling little de-aged Batman currently holding onto his hand, glaring up at the cashier with bright blue eyes.
Things had already been bad enough when he’d gotten caught in a fight in Gotham, but things went from bad to worse when a magician had hit Batman with a de-aging spell and then shoved them through a portal.
Into a different fucking dimension.
Because of course neither of their lives could be easy. And now the two of them were stuck in Iowa in the middle of nowhere, at a truck stop gas station, trying to go on a cross-country roadtrip to reach the nearest hero city and get home.
He looked up and smiled awkwardly, trying to come up with a name off the top of his head — one of the heroes called Batman ‘B’ when he got hit right? B for Batman, right. B… B… Bee… Bees.
“Buzz.” He said, and tried not to grimace as the cashier’s face warped with surprise. “Like the astronaut.”
This was gonna be a long trip.
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"Well, this is a bad idea," Tim says, hands on his hips as he surveys the mess they’ve made in the cave.
"Nah," Danny replies, twirling his screwdriver in the air in what is probably meant to be an impressive trick to inspire confidence, except he fumbles it and it clangs to the floor loudly, "we good. If a younger version of myself hasn't come forward in time to stop me, how bad can it be?"
"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"
"What?"
"Normally, it's an older version of yourself going backwards in time to stop you, right?"
"Not in my experience."
Danny's grin is impossibly feral and a shiver runs up Tim's spine.
"This is definitely a bad idea."
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At the dining table for breakfast
Jason: Heh.
Jason: Hahahaha.
Jason: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bruce: *raising the newspaper up higher*
Alfred: *placidly pouring coffee into Bruce’s mug* Did something interesting happen, Master Jason?
Jason: Alfred, I am about to have the perfect surprise for that bony a-Tim. The perfect surprise for Tim.
Alfred: *putting away the bar of soap he pulled out of nowhere* Is that so? Please do be careful not to make a mess here. The waxing was just done in the dining room.
Jason: No problem, in fact-
Tim: *entering sluggishly*
Jason: In fact…in…fact…Megamind, what are you doing here?
Tim: ……..hm?
Jason: What are you doing here?
Tim: eating??
Jason: You-why are you coming from the right side bathroom-weren’t you going to use the upstairs one on the left?
Tim: oh. Dick was already in it so I decided to use the other one.
Jason: what.
Tim: what.
Jason: No. Hahahahaha. You’re joking…nononono-god, Tim, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?
Tim: ????????
Jason: You-
Dick’s voice thundering from a floor away: JASON!!!!
Jason: *staring blankly then running forward and smacking Tim on the head* It’s all your fault!
Tim who hasn’t slept or had coffee or know why something he doesn’t know about is his fault: ???? WHAT DID I DO?!
Jason: *running past and leaping out the window* See you later, losers. Bye, Alf.
Disappearing seconds before a blur of wet skin, white towel, and neon pink hair rushes past and follows him out the window.
Tim:
Bruce:
Tim: ……Did you have breakfast yet?
Bruce: …….Hrmgh.
Alfred: *tutting* I just had the floors done. Master Bruce, would you mind redoing them? I’m afraid I must catch the mailman before he gives treats to Titus again. He’s leaving crumbs all over the entrance.
Bruce: What about Ti-
Bruce: *glancing back to see a lone leaf float in and drop slowly to the ground*
Bruce: ………
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patented 'not that I care that much or anything so there's no need to dwell on it too too much ahaha *sweats nervously* but tain would you pls consider not murdering my mom (and the mother of your child) for absolutely no reason whatsoever? no pressure tho of course you know best! :)' smile
(it's so dark but also so funny that when tain keeps on Hinting Ominously, garak's reaction seems... slightly exasperated? more than anything, under all the tension fsdjafsl. this exact conversation has definitely happened multiple times over the last thirty years, lending horror an edge of 'oh this again huh' ennui and hilarity. 'I should have killed your mother before you were born'/'so you've told me, many times'. I think it's the turnaround time from 'I've missed you, Elim' to this that drives it from straightforward psychological horror sneaking dread to still that but also kind of hilarious. it really took tain less than five minutes to go there didn't it. wow. well, actually. I think maybe the real horror part is that garak still loves him and doesn't know how to stop. somewhere in there is a five year old whose heart is a desperate stupid little moth and his father is a ruinous forest fire in the night, brighter and closer than any star. of course it burns you to touch it that's just what love is, right. *spots a smiling julian bashir in the loading bay holding a box of chocolates out of the corner of his mind and experiences something harrowing and existential he simply cannot unpack right in this moment thank you* right???)
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