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starwikia · 2 months

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so like are we done with the idea that james is a victim of the internet harassment mob or whatever you guys like to call it when in reality no one like forced him to be part of the public eye again. he had multiple times to disengage but he threw himself head first into the spotlight with some half assed apology where he used his dead mom, illiterate dad, and like 293 mental illnesses that he was in the right to do a widdle plagiarism but it’s not his fault! it’s everyone else’s fault for not being nice to him about it!!! how dare these people bring these issues to the public not thinking how james would feel about it! like ppl are forgetting there was notable period of time james went off air entirely. and every time he’s jumped back it’s always attempts to paint himself as the victim.

like be real for a second if anyone was weaponizing the internet harassment machine it was james somerton. he knew what he was doing when he posted that note. he knew the shit his victims would get for having the crime of (checks notes) voicing out their issues with him. he knew there’s people out there who are foaming at their mouths to use anything they can get their hands on as a “gotcha!” at hbomberguy (right wing people yes, but don’t act like it’s just them i’ve seen plenty of lefties trying to prove they’re superior to harry). they don’t give a shit about james, not really. he’s the dude who hbomb did a “hit piece” (yes that’s a term i’ve seen people use) and that’s what matters.

not to mention the writing that’s also very clearly targeting nick who’s basically cut ties with him at this point. james pushed all the burden on nick by saying it’s their fault, actually. he’s one of the co-writers and everything going to shit was nick’s fault when they had the audacity to move. james is faultless! with james still trying to monetize stolen content on the blatant lie that he’s doing this for nick’s sake as a portfolio. acting as if nick isn’t an sentient human being who could upload their own content, as if nick would even want to be associated with james at this point. this isn’t a teenager being harassed for an honest mistake, this is a 35-year old con artist who’s stolen hundreds of thousands and peddled the most vile shit as actual history but realized he was in deep shit and weaponizes very serious mental health issues as a “i’m just a poor little gay baby!! my alter ego did it!!!”

for the record if you’re among the people who tried to wash down james’ crimes as “he just did plagiarism!! it wasn’t that bad of a crime!” fuck you, man. i’m not kidding.

the fact i’ve witnessed people whitewash his acts of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism and misogyny (in fact i’m probably still missing a few things here), and say he’s being harassed by the internet just because he stole articles makes it so clear they have no fucking idea what they’re talking about. his shit isn’t fucking erased just bc he realized that he has to handle the consequences. he’s grasping at anything he can at this point to make sure that even if he’s not coming back, he’s sure as hell trying to take anyone he fucking can down with him.

he doesn’t get a second chance to be a content creator at this point. he doesn’t get to show himself to do better. he needs to fucking leave. and if he tries to publicly make himself the victim then he better know that he’s going to get public backlash.

if anything situation proves to me that he can never be trusted with a public platform ever again because he will immediately guilt people into feeling sorry for him.

#i’m going to be bitchy about this for the record #james somerton #hbomberguy #the funniest option is if james fakes his death like a fourth time and someone takes a pic of him in like a burger king or something.#updated i’m not 100% sure on nicks pronouns but i’m using they them just in case #update 2: the way i was proven fucking right immediately after posting this. you people are not real.

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beelstoecrust · 3 years

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Reading you based on your obey me Kin

i will be ruthless and im not holdin back!! ok now say it with me😈

Lucifer

I kin Lucifer and I have a hard time reaching out to my friends for help even when i know i need it. I don't want people to get worried about me so i mask my issues and help everyone with thier issues, completely disregarding my own needs for a break. in the end i feel alone because regardless of saying im ok, i want someone to truly sit with me and ask me if im ok, but i fear that moment because im not used to dealing with my own issues

Mammon

I kin Mammon and i just want to feel seen and loved. sometimes i do stupid/dumb things to get the seratonin that comes from making people laugh. i feel like no one ever listens to me and it makes me feel insignificant and like the last one to get picked. i truly want to be myself and fear that if im not the odds one out by doing little dumb things people will think im essentially worthless and most likely think im borning. I have a hard time talking about my feelings and want to so desperately, that if i do i won't know what to say or where to start due to the many emotions i've bottled up throughout my life

Levi

I kin Leviathan and i have very bad anxiety. i have a difficult time making friends and part of that reason is bc im scared they already hate me or want nothing to do with me. I know my interests are different from what is considered the norm but i so desperately want to talk and ramble about said interest for hours to someone who will at the very least listen. I get bashed about the things i like by my family and although i dont show it, this hurts me deeply. I lock myself in my room and indulge myself in my favorite things bc each character makes me wish i had certain aspects of them and makes me wish i lived an interesting life but bc of my anxiety it's extremely hard for me to do so. Im also used to being the last one picked and often assume i will always be the last one picked no matter how many times im reassured and deep down i want someone to relish in my own interests with me and truly love and care for me

Satan

I kin Satan and i have a horrible realtionship with my father. I Loathe my father and the tension arises every time we a near one another. A part of me feels terrible that i loathe my father because i know he has his own mind and emotions and i want to forgive him for what he's done but in the end I know it's fruitless to forgive him bc he has put me through alot of pain and hurt. i wish things couldve been different and we couldve had a normal bond. I also hide my emotions very well and am ashamed of ever feeling angry bc it makes me feel like i am horrible person. im also not used to affection and have only ever seeked or felt genuine affection from my pets. I also fear as if i have no personality and that im boring.

Asmodeus

I kin Asmo and i feel like i need to act confident around others in order for them to like me because im too scared to show people my insecurities because i fear they will never view me the same again and leave me in disgust. I want everyone to like me and I also can't handle when someone doesn't want to be my friend or doesn't like me bc i feel if there's something wrong with me. the need to act confident and cute all the time makes me oblivious to the fact that my insecurities shine through at times and make me even more oblivious to the fact people like me for who i am, insecurities and all

Beelzebub

I kin Beel and i have some form of sepreation anxiety towards my favorite person. i often get a sudden fear that something bad will happen to my fav person even though everything is ok. I get made fun of or scolded by my eating habbits and it makes me feel absolutely terrible because i'm trying. i also care very deeply for my family/friends and will do anything for them. i place unnecessarily guilt onto myself and perfer to do so, so that no one else has to bear the burden.

Belphegor

I kin Belphie and i act as if nothing matters but i secretly am very worried and care alot about my friends/family. I also stay up very late because i feel like i have no control over my life during the day and for some reason i feel like staying up late gives me some kind of control. I also hide my emotions with a sarcastic tone and usually think about the the mistakes ive made in my past while i cry in bed. i dont ask others for help emotionally and i want someone to care and listen to me as well as to relish in a calm peaceful life.

/Undatables/

Diavolo

I kin Diavolo and i fear that telling ppl i care about them isn't enough to get the message across so i constantly gift people things in hopes to show them i care. i also fear gifting things too much drives people away from me, i also dont get included much with friends and feel as if i have done something wrong. i also feel very upset when a fun time is over because the feeling of happiness goes with that moment, so i constantly throw little parties and whatnot to relish in the joy but feel upset once it's over. i can also read people well and get put on edge or very cautious when i cannot read someone

Barbatos

I kin barbatos and i constantly take care of others never once letting myself take a break. I hide my emotions behind a smile in order to not worry others and because i dont want dont ppls sense of depency on me to be ruined. i rarely let myself take breaks bc i fear that i wont be there for the person i care about when they need me.

Solomon

I kin solomon and i usually supress my emotions to hide the fact im not very used to being shown affection and that im not as confident as i seem. I also am a very private person but the fact im so secretive makes me disliked by some bc they think i dislike them. i also wish my friends would include me in more events with them and when they dont i bury myself in an activity to hide the fact im upset about it

Simeon

I kin simeon and i want to know and make sure they everyone is ok. i know just how to push and pull people's buttons but i wont abuse this because i care about those people. i'm also very hard to read and perfer to give people advise rather than answers to their problems. The constant taking care of others makes me forget that i also need time to just myself. It takes alot and i mean alot to anger me but once it happens it's not very pretty.

Luke

I kin luke and I want to take care of everyone and often forget to take care of myself. People often dont take me seriously and so i often i find myself baking as a coping mechisim bc it makes me feel in control of little things. I also have a hard time admitting that i care about others and i'll unknowingly show my affection that i do care about them by giving them little gifts and advice. im also very oblivious to certain topics and are i get mad when i get left in the dark about certain topics.

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stalebriochebuns · 3 years

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I know I don’t post but I wanna praise My Hero’s world building so bad / a Bakugou Katsuki appreciation post.

I wanna talk about society, specifically it’s views on heroism.

Bakugou and Deku are products of their society obviously. But what I don’t think people see is that they’re meant to be different extremes of the same problem.

Hero worship.

The problem is that society has given a specific set of criteria that defines a hero... ie a Licence. It’s the whole thing Stain despised, the idea that a hero no longer can be defined by their deeds or who they save but by a government issued card for passing a test. It completely takes away from the concept of a hero existing for the people and turns it into straight capitalism.

There’s a quote that I heard and can’t remember where it came from that goes along the lines of ‘A villain can exist without a hero, but a hero cannot exist without a villain.’ Which I think is true, being a hero revolves around the existence of villains but that’s entirely ignored in BNHA’s world.

And those heroes are glorified. Put on a pedestal by civilians, and I’m not saying they shouldn’t be, they’re heroes but what it results in is expectations for the next generation to live up to. So children are encouraged to be like those hero’s and unwittingly the parents place value on children based on their quirks. They’ve internalised this idea that Good quirks = greatness. And it’s not something new, often times fiction is a reflection of reality, because reality gives context for the issues within that fictional world. You’ll always find things that remind you of the real world. Here this idea that what you’re born with biologically determines greatness reminds me of how Chinese family’s used to value male babies over female babies, simply because that’s part of my culture. Others might read into it differently. These issues are transcendental, that is why there can be so many interpretations.

Anyway, willingly or not, the adults perpetuate this idea of Good Quirk = Greatness, thus stigmatising No Quirk/ bad Quirk = Failure.

Deku is quirkless, he’s the opposite of what society wants and therefore suffers at the hands of hero worship. He’s pushed aside as the minority, and if you think about it that 20% of the population being quirkless is going to mainly consist of the older generation since quirks are genetically inherited so he’s really insulated, I wouldn’t be surprised if the first person he met his age who was also quirkless was Melissa (From The Two Heroes movie). His own mother telling him she’s ‘Sorry’ after he finds out that he’s quirkless only backing up this idea that he’s different and that he should be pitied. And we look up to our parents, so coming from Inko, Izuku was on the way to internalising that view also. And in some ways he has, I might be wrong about this but when he finds out that Melissa is Quirkless he apologises to her also, he’s doing to others exactly what had been done to him because that’s what humans do, we replicate behaviour.

Bakugou is exactly what they want and from the moment he’s gotten his quirk he’s not only been put on a pedestal by peers but by adults too, adults who should be his superiors are putting him above themselves, no wonder he gets an inferiority complex. He’s told he ‘will be a hero’. Unfair expectations to ever put on a child who hasn’t had the real world experience to decide his own career just yet. And so it manifests into an inferiority complex that the show actually admits to him having. He was never given any other option than to be a hero.

He was told for his whole life he’d be the best so to see someone who was always behind him move forward made him feel inadequate obviously, his lashing out isn’t excused by society’s involvement but can explain it. He’s working on it though. Working with Deku. Helping him improve. He’s shown character development. And it’s not just that, he’s driven solely by the idea of ‘winning’ which some might see as conceited but ‘winning’ is vague, it has no meaning, he chooses the challenge, he’s the only one who can define what ‘winning’ means to him. Some might think ‘winning’ means glory, or money or fame and he wants to be No.1 so there’s an aspect of that but it could just mean no casualties, everyone surviving, everyone being saved. Which I think is interesting.

Something else I think is admirable is that in his mind all opponents are just that, opponents. That’s why he goes all out when fighting Uraraka during the Sports festival, he said it himself. That it doesn’t matter that she’s a girl, she’s a girl that shouldn’t be underestimated. He doesn’t see her as weak. Even when the crowed and Present Mic got mad at him for being rough while fighting her. A fucking feminist Icon.

And he’s not just the typical 2 dimensional bully. He’s canonically got the best grades in the class, above Iida even. He goes to bed at reasonable times (8:30) most of the time. He studies, he even helped Kirishima. He works hard and it’s not just a natural talent which makes his character even better.

He feels guilt for being the catalyst for All Might’s down fall. They both idolised the hero and he felt like a fucking BURDEN. The self awareness he has is impeccable, understanding that he cannot control everything and being so angry about it, and why? Because he was told he could do anything he put his mind to, and he was discovering for the first time that that was a lie, that those adults were liars.

And when the villains kidnapped him he told them to fuck off. He was a hero through and through. He wouldn’t join them.

He’s a hero. A terribly misguided hero born from unrealistic expectations of children

He’s the epitome of gifted kid syndrome. He’s got a complex and major anxiety issues because of it. Imagine being told that they’re better than everyone else your age as a kid? You’ll believe it. Of course you’ll think you’re better bc the adults told you you were.

And it contrasts so well with Deku, Because their issues are due to the same societal pressure albeit different sides of that same scale.

That’s why ppl like him. He’s trying but just like Deku he was given an unfair disadvantage

He’s as much of an underdog. He’s a child who’s unlearning everything he’d been taught about himself.

#bnha bakugou #my hero academia #hero analysis #Izuku Mydoria #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha

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the-final-sif · 4 years

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listen i would love to see more of the whole "katsuki's been kidnapped multiple times" bc it's one of my favorite headcanons i've seen for him. i love ppl adding layers to his character and his experiences and i wanna know what you have planned past everyone finding out

Okay, I’m gonna go off of the “they found out after Katsuki was kidnapped again and they only knew that it happened when he finally showed back up to school.” route.

Katsuki gets kinda weirded out by how everyone’s reacting so weirdly, he doesn’t understand why Aizawa is asking him so many questions or making a big deal out of it. Sure, he’s kinda guessed by now that it’s not normal after all, but that doesn’t explain any of this.

They’re in Recovery Girl’s office now, Aizawa has already been fussing at him and gotten a report on his injuries. Recovery Girl is out at the moment but she should be back soon. Katsuki has already tried to argue that he bandaged all his injuries up himself, but the glare he got from his teacher put a stop to that.

Now they’ve moved on to Aizawa questioning him on his previous kidnappings and his teacher just seems to be getting more and more stressed out. Katsuki doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong, but it’s freaking him out because he’s been rationalizing and dealing with all of this for so long. Finally, he snaps.

“Why do you care?” And he meant it as a sarcastic remark, but Aizawa can hear the tremor in his voice, can see the minute shake of his shoulders, how Katsuki won’t meet his eyes.

“Kid, you got kidnapped. Of course I care about that, I’m your damn teacher and part of my goddamn job is keeping you safe.” He wants to say more, wants to say that Katsuki is a fucking child, and that on it’s own should be reason enough for him to care. That it’s not just a part of his job, he cares about Katuski himself. But Aizawa knows better then to say that. Maybe one day, but not today. Not when Katsuki’s already trembling and exhausted. Not when his pride couldn’t bare the insult of care, of being seen as the child he is.

“I mean, yeah, I guess I can kinda get you asking questions about the shit that went down this weekend, even though I had it under control, but what’s up with asking all these fucking questions about me being stupid when I was younger? None of it matters, I got out, I dealt with it, I learned from my shitty mistakes and I moved on. It doesn’t change anything. I’m fine.”

Sometimes, Aizawa wonders if Katsuki says these things because he genuinely believes them, or if he says them because if he doesn’t, if he didn’t dismiss the pain and shrug off the weight of his fears, then he might shatter under the burden of it all.

“Katsuki,” and that one word holds too much fucking emotion in it for Katsuki to take, he wants to curl into a ball and go to sleep, his heart is still to raw and his brain too messed up from having chains on his wrists and a muzzle forced into his mouth again. “Just because you aren’t dead or maimed doesn’t mean you’re fine. This stuff, it hurts. It leaves scars. I don’t know what the fuck was going on in your childhood that you were left to deal with that by yourself, but you aren’t alone in this anymore, okay?”

It’s been a long fucking weekend, and Katsuki is so tired that he can’t keep his walls up. Not quite. So he doesn’t argue, just ducks his head in a half nod as he tries to pretend there aren’t tears welling up in his eyes.

Aizawa can’t help himself then, he sighs, sitting down beside Katsuki on the bench and slinging an arm over the kid’s shoulders. It’s a gentle motion, a light squeeze, but Katsuki leans into it just a little bit and that’s enough.

Recovery Girl gets there soon after, and Katsuki protests healing at first, he doesn’t have much stamina left and there’s no way he can go back to class afterwards, but Aizawa tells him on no uncertain terms that he is not going back to class today, and so he relents.

That leaves Aizawa with a sleeping teenager who he doesn’t want to leave alone and 19 worried teenagers waiting for him back in his classroom.

In the end he sends Mic to tell them class is canceled today. None of them were going to be able to focus anyways, and they need some time to recover from the shock anyways.

All-Might finds out not too long after that, and his mind flies back to Katsuki on that night when he fought Izuku. He struck suddenly, by how it wasn’t the kidnapping itself that upset Katsuki. It wasn’t the villains that could’ve killed him, could’ve done all sorts of awful and terrible things to him. It was seeing someone else hurt trying to rescue him that upset Katsuki. That he was unable to understand.

Izuku put it together too. They both understand and can’t understand at the same time.

Katsuki wakes up, and he’s still freaked out by how much people care, but he accepts it with time.

Things settle down eventually, they go back to normal, but not really. Not quite. There’s a new normal now.

Katsuki isn’t left alone much anymore. Not unless he’s in his room and he’s kicked everyone else out of it for some peace and quiet. If he’s going out somewhere, it seems at least one of his classmates is following after him. Most often it’s some subset of the bakusquad. If he’s going home it’s almost always Izuku. He’s surprised by how often it’s people outside of that group though. All of his classmates have gone with him at least once. Even though he bitches about it, he doesn’t mind that much.

There’s a new set of rules for students too, when you leave the dorms you give an estimated return time, and if you’re more then an hour late and you don’t text your homeroom teacher to let them know you’re okay, they start looking for you.

Katsuki was annoyed by the new rules until some gen ed kid with a rich family actually got their lives saved by it. It makes the whole system feel less targeted, so he settled down about it.

Aizawa doesn’t follow the kid around, god no, he’s not going to invade a student’s privacy like that, but he makes it more of a point to know where Katsuki is. To know when he’s going home, or just going out.

It quickly becomes apparent and then suspicious to Aizawa that Katsuki never goes home. Even Shouto goes home sometimes, he has siblings he likes to visit apparently. Katsuki doesn’t.

When Aizawa had asked if Katsuki had ever talked about the fact he was kidnapped with his parents, the teenager had laughed. Then quickly shut his mouth when he saw Aizawa’s worried expression. What kind of parents don’t notice their own damn kid going missing? Aizawa had been wondering for months now.

Summer break is coming up, and most of the kids are supposed to go home. Katsuki is one of the few that isn’t excited for it.

After getting approval from Nezu, Aizawa approaches Katsuki two weeks before summer starts. He’s staying at the dorms over the summer, for safety reasons. Aizawa already got approval from his parents. They didn’t even question it. Didn’t seem to care much. Katsuki is wide eyed, but he doesn’t protest, not even his usual bluster. He just agrees, muttering that it’ll be nice to keep up on his training, and that’s that.

It can never be quite that easy though, and that very fucking weekend Katsuki was in such a good mood that he went out with a few of his classmates to the mall. All it took was him getting distracted by something in a shop window, he pauses for a moment to look at it, and then the assholes were on him. Something’s over his mouth, and he’s slipping into blackness.

He wakes up chained up with a headache, and he’s fucking tired, but he knows the drill.

It doesn’t take him long to pick the locks, doesn’t take him long to dispatch the guards and tie them up. Doesn’t take long for him to find the dumbass behind this whole thing and start a fight. Every bone in his body aches, but he keeps fighting.

The whole thing can’t have taken him more then two hours, so he’s fucking shocked when just as he takes a nasty blow to the shoulder, the front door of the place is broken down and there are people rushing in. He’s still kinda drugged out, so it’s surreal for him as suddenly Aizawa is there and has hands on his shoulders, and he’s being steered outside.

His classmates are there. Some of them anyways. Izuku isn’t. He’s apparently inside, having only just been hauled off the now unconscious villain.

It’s like he’s been teleported to a new world, and it’s confusing and strange, the idea that people noticed he was gone. That they cared enough to come get him, when they probably knew he could handle it on his own.

He must’ve said that last bit out loud, Aizawa’s grimacing now.

“Just because you can handle it on your own, doesn’t mean you should have to kid. You deserve some goddamn heroes in your life too. Now sit own here and let the paramedic look you over.”

Katsuki does, he answers the paramedics questions as best he can, and they take some blood and tell Aizawa something about sleeping it off.

Sleeping sounds awfully nice right now.

The adrenaline is fading, and some part of Katsuki screams that he needs to stay awake. That he needs to get himself home or they’ll catch him again. That this is do or die.

But that’s not right. Aizawa’s here. His classmates are here. Other people are here, and for some reason they’re helping him.

Even if Katsuki’s brain is still worried, his body knows it’s safe, that it doesn’t need to keep pushing and pushing anymore, and so he fades out. Trusting for once in his goddamn life that he doesn’t need to save himself. For once in his life, it’s okay to let someone else do that for him.

When he wakes up, he’s in the infirmary, and he can see his classmates scattered around the room, Aizawa in a chair to his side, Mic leaning on Aizawa’s shoulder and All-Might to their left. Everyone’s asleep. It’s like 3 am in the morning.

One deep breath in, one deep breath out. Katsuki lets himself relax on purpose this time, and as he falls back asleep he does it knowing for a damn fact that everything will be okay when he wakes up. He’s not alone anymore.

#katsuki bakugou #dadzawa #aizawa shouta #izuku midoriya #class 1-a #bnha #mha #sif speaks #sif writes #sif answers #my headcanons #man this got long #listen my brain just took hold of the aftermath and would not let go #Anonymous #katsuki's kidnappings

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kewltie · 4 years

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the idea that bakugou katsuki, a war hero and the empire's hound, is a man of great stature and even fiercer reputation of a volatile powder keg yet quite frankly so freaked out by izuku, HIS OWN HUSBAND, attempt of playing footsie that he broke a table IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME!! katsuki spend so long giving himself to his country and ppl and that HE literally had NO TIME for romance or like consider any romantic entanglement let alone think of the husband he left behind while he chase after new adventures; so yea he's a goddamn virgin lmao.

even when he's back home now his job as the empire's hound (which basically taking on tasks too dark and secretive that nobody can touch) means he running around the slums of the city to catch baddies so he's constantly hanging around other lowlifes SO HE GOT A BAD REPUTATION. a scoundrel and rake is what the rumors say about him and they all sigh pitifully when they spot izuku bc poor izuku, to have such a terrible no good husband hang around brothel houses :((( WHICH IS FUCKING FUNNY bc katsuki is devout in his marriage vows and also hello VIRGIN!! not that anyone know that, NOT EVEN IZUKU bc believe in katsuki's honor in their marriage but HE HEARD THE RUMORS and katsuki does keep v beautiful friends around (they're his informants lol) so izuku thought katsuki used to play around but now that's married he doesnt and wont.

so izuku GOT INTO HIS HEAD that katsuki is ~experience~ and prob had like a hundred lovers in the past while izuku is virginal and chaste and BORING so he tries v v hard to learn how to a good lover which means taking advice from racy romance books from his book club lmao. look, izuku is a quirk learner and HE'S always open to new experience and he's going to be a good husband and lover ok!!!!! so he's taking lesson to try to seduce katsuki and get his interest but he's so new at this he's afraid katsuki will laugh a him and find him lacking... so when he heard katsuki was hanging around one of the most famous oiran, a super high class prostitute, izuku IS SO JEALOUS bc how can izuku compare to such a beautiful and talented being??? so he thought he ramps up his game and tried for a footsie W KATSUKI BUT ????!!!

katsuki's reaction isn't to laugh and/or tease him about it but BROKE A DAMN TABLE as he reeled back and looked at him in shock and horror and izuku IS SOOO CONFUSED like???? did he do something ??? is that not how you play footsie??? OMG did he embarrassed himself?!! izuku thought he didn't come on strong enough, that his game was just too weak that it drove katsuki away which make izuku even more determine to be better next time! esp when he had the idea to meet up with the oiran and take a personal lesson on seducing his hubby lol. not knowing AT ALL that katsuki was internally SCREAMING ABOUT IT bc izuku, his super traditional and proper husband, just fucking ran his foot up katsuki's THIGH and he's did it all coolly like HE'S NOT FEELING KATSUKI UP UNDER THE TABLE AND AS;DJFAS;DJF. look, they're both dumb virgins who think the other is like some experience lover when in truth neither of them HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE AT ALL and they really aren't equipped to deal with any attempt of seduction/flirtation properly even though THEY'RE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!!!

i love the idea of clothes and accessories acting as symbolism and a state of mind. it's a constant theme in a lot of my fics - how and what you dress can set the tone of the entire space you occupied, sending a wordless message out into the world.

izuku normally dressed in traditional kimono all his life but when he left the countryside and moved into the city to be with katsuki where western influence have taken roots and many new western trends are popular right now, izuku starts to adapt and fashion is one of them. the shift from izuku's kimono to a western dress and pantsuits parallels his shift in perspective from the tradition views he hold and to new ideas brought by his new environment. though it doesn't mean everything old and tradition are bad while new things are all good!! izuku loves his kimonos and there's a history that come with them as they are handmade custom and pass down within his family so there's a lot of meanings and legacy to these old kimonos; news thing may offer a better insight but there's still a lot of value in tradition. like how in the first scene izuku decide to change his whole wardrobe to meet katsuki for lunch and how formal and austere he dressed, changing his demeanor as though he's putting on an armor. it's the way they make him feel stronger and confident that he may not feel otherwise. in that moment he fell back into his kimono, something he had known and grown up with all his life so it's the most comfortable for him and hold him up even when his doubts and insecurity weigh him down. this is the armor he chosen to wear when he's about to go to battle. the type and color of the kimono he wore, the way his hair is pinned and a certain hair accessory, and the mortif sewn into the kimono are all signs of his mood and how each is like a plate of armor on top of each other, layer and by layer building up his confident.

izuku lacks confident that much is clear esp when he'd pretty up uproot his whole life to move to the city to be with katsuki and uphold his place as katsuki's husband. he knows he's lacking in this strange new environment so his only defense mechanism is to fall back on old ways. izuku wants to be firm when he see katsuki and by dressing in that austere and cold formality of the kimono with dark colors and phoenix motif his message is that he wont be subdued by w/e katsuki say; and he says it w/o ever having to say a single word :P

izuku is really obsessed w being a good spouse, omega, and fulfilling his duty bc that's all he has ever been taught and that's how he measure his own worth. if he's not being upholding the honor and prestige of the background household,,, what use is he then? he's so desperate to be that 'good spouse' who doesn't complain, who doesnt question, and who doesn't fail at any task given to him that he come off as this unfeeling and obedience doll who only know how to stay faithful at his husband's feet which isn't izuku at all. we know he's endlessly curious, ravenous for knowledge and new ideas, reckless to a fault, and so v v v kind that it can hurt him but those aren't necessary quality for a spouse of a future duke so he squashed it and put up pretense of a more poise, charming, and compose person. which few even see through his mask BUT ofc katsuki eventually does and he hates when izuku puts up a front and hide his true feelings from him and that's where their first argument come from. IZUKU BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT HIM and katsuki telling to GET MAD, YELL AT HIM, ETC he rather izuku be real with him then having to face this smiling doll who only know how to carefully chose his words and say things he doesnt really mean when he want izuku to poke and prod and get angry and emotional at him bc he knows underneath that smile is a cat w claws lol. at the end of it izuku only wants to be included in katsuki's world bc his job is v v v important to him and to be on the outside and hearing rumors and stories of what katsuki is doing and not actually a part of it hurts izuku deeply bc they're married and in this together!! katsuki prefers to keep izuku from the ugly side of his job bc well it's dangerous and there's a unsightly things he doesnt want izuku to see and/or exp but izuku, wants to bear katsuki's burden too so he doesn't have to go at this alone!! marriage is partnership after all.

it's an interesting dynamic of where izuku keeps pushing more from katsuki and katsuki being a closed of jerk about it trying to keep a distance bc he has no time to entertain a relationship bc OF HIS V IMPORTANT JOB even tho they're already marry but izuku is persistence lol. they're going to keep this whole push and pull dynamic till one of them give which is going to be long ass time bc they're both stubborn lol but izuku didn't literally MOVED HIS ENTIRE life to be w katsuki to settle just for marriage w him, he's going to win katsuki's heart also!

#on writing #regency a/b/o au

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nozomijoestar · 4 years

Text

Transcribed and formatted for readability the master thesis between me and @wlwclem on the nuances to NaraTrish together and as individuals being why we love it and respect it not being CompHet- we spent way too much Big Brain Energy on it to not share

tw: brief mention of F-Slur when giving an example on toxic masculinity being bullshit, sexuality is briefly discussed in a non sexualizing way and in no graphic detail

*insert IM TRISH KIN BUCCIARATI joke here*

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:45 PM

JDDBSJDBD YES bc ofc she gotta be Reassuring but at the same time his Himboism Knows No Bounds One of the lines in EoH u can give her is “Go get me an Italian Vogue magazine too while you’re at it” and I’m like. Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:46 PM

JDHDHDF BDE Narancia whipped Narancia stands no chance

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:46 PM

OH FOR REAL one of HIS victory lines is something about getting all the stuff for her lmao And this is like even if she isn’t in the battle, Always Thinking Of His Queen

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:50 PM

Trish decides to test the limits of this and his ability to recognize them by asking for impossible or nonexistent items/feats and when he continues to try for her without question she realizes she has too much power and must restrain it fjdjjdjfjf Can't turn into Dad

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:51 PM

JDBDBSJS The color palette changes while she has an inner monologue while she watches him try to make her happy

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:53 PM

"Oh my god Bucciarati was right...he's too loyal for his own good I need to stop even if it's a little fun" Meanwhile Narancia: growing more and more frustrated with himself for perceived failure to someone he loves

epickinnienaranciaYesterday at 11:55 PM

She stops for the most part but does it every so often bc it’s cute

nozomijoestarYesterday at 11:56 PM

Lucky to have a freak like dat I feel like the only thing that can counter this self defeatism Narancia can get (bc his younger childhood...ofc he's fucked up and anxious and paranoid abt not being enough or abandoned) is Trish having to open her own repressed self up and love the shit out of himLike those reassuring lines she has in EoH and her moments in the anime/manga Bruno fucking does it as his father figure and Narancia admits it gives him strength

December 19, 2019

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:04 AM

Yes, he feels like he has to prove his worth and like he’s worth having around otherwise he’s useless, i def feel like he would not like talking about the stuff that happened in the past with everyone bc he would feel ashamed and stupid or st, he needs to be told You Are Enough and her to open up too so they can lean on each other

nozomijoestarToday at 12:12 AM

Honestly no jokes for a second I feel like this is also abt breaking toxic masculinity bc it's fucking Italy in the early 00s just out of the 90s...it was RIFE rifer than even now with that shit like in much of the world then too, the idea that a boy becoming a man and men in general need to strictly follow dumbass self harming rules

especially abt not opening up and only having real priorities for earning money, honoring family, and procreating as much as possible whether it's marriage making a family or "having sexual conquests" in promiscuity, anything outside of this bullshit image can't be tolerated and you might as well be a woman or "a fag" if you don't assert some fictional narrative of trying extremely hard to have power in everything bc that's all that matters is the ridiculous idea of Alpha Males applied to humans

Narancia being a 80s- 90s kid with the childhood he had did not give him much fighting chance at all in this context and time period esp just bc he happened to be born with a dick and thus saddled with these harmful expectations society made that could've only further repressed his recognition of not beating himself up and his own emotional needs on top of EVERYONE ever betraying him Where was he supposed to go? He can't go anywhere unless he meets Bruno

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:18 AM

yes i agree..... like, males being looked down upon for opening up, being societally forced to shoulder the burdens and “man up” and just deal with it and fix everything. And then already having a toxic support system with his “friend” betraying him and his dad Sucking Major Ass, all he’s been taught is deal with it but hasn’t been given the tools to know how, and if Bruno didn’t meet him he honestly would be so stuck, what person (esp in that time period) is going to go out of their way to help an uneducated young male?

nozomijoestarToday at 12:20 AM

Even if it tragically ends with his death in canon I feel like the time he spent with Bruno's bois, Giorno, and Trish was huge in making some of that crack little by littleBc he has moments where you see how sweet he actually is, his "real" personality if you will underneath all the unresolved anger when he's with ppl he sees love him and give him hope When Giorno said No One Is Going To Hurt You Anymore that just made me cry harder

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:23 AM

Yes! Like, ofc he gets angry, has unrepressed rage and reactions to things, he hasn’t had any type of emotional support in SO long and it’s not like it’s 100% fantastic in that regard with buccigang (which don’t get me wrong they are family but they are still in an aggressive gang and go off and give each other lots of shit)-YEAH AND THE FUCKIGN PLANT GROWING TOO IM

nozomijoestarToday at 12:25 AM

Trish is legit I think the one person aside from Giorno who would treat him without even the gang's aggressiveness Narancia is my fav in VA even if Bruno is the best written VA character bc he's me, this kind of shit in my life is why I developed PTSD undiagnosed since my childhood that only kept getting worse until only this year have I gotten any true help I know exactly how he feels

Esp when you think your whole life exists to serve others never yourself NaraGio shippers I see y'all argument even if I don't follow it tbh, Gio was again the only one besides Trish to consistently care for Nara in day to day and when he was in danger and esp during the Clash and Talking Heads fight Gio was the one dude present like No Narancia It's Ok Please Tell Me What's Wrong You're Clearly Stressed

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:31 AM

yeah although i haven’t experienced it i can still empathize and try to understand, i think there’s so many layers of protection and walls that most people never truly look past it to see the root cause or true self YES that fight was so frustrating bc they were all like Narancia stop being an idiot when something was clearly wrong and he was obviously in distress!!

nozomijoestarToday at 12:32 AM

Also Gio was the only one who first asserted that No, Narancia did the right thing in fighting Formaggio

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:33 AM

Yes and with that whole interaction the gang often uses Narancia as the scapegoat essentially and just give him shit for every little thing without trying to understand his POV

nozomijoestarToday at 12:33 AM

The Clash fight tbh I feel was an ass pull set up to give Narancia his big bad ass loyalty proving moment even if it's a great fight that beginning part is...only the Trish and Gio interactions rly make sense fjdjdjI wish him and Giorno hung out more or I guess more like talked more bc you can't rly hang out when you're getting assassinated every day hfgdg

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:36 AM

Yeah hdkdb, even with Fugo, even tho he found him and brought him to Bruno, he still calls him a dumbass, stabs him with a fork and shit, and then with Mista even tho I feel like they are Like Bros, he destroys Narancia’s radio for no fucking reason and also has a pattern of taking shit Narancia paid for without paying him backI def agree with that, I feel like Giorno interactions were lacking in that there really weren’t many one on one meaningful things so it’s hard for me to grasp his personal headspace and relationships a lot of the time

nozomijoestarToday at 12:37 AM

However to be a little more fair to the Bucci gang the manga version has Narancia trying a lot lot more to get their attention in logical ways that unfortunately Talking Heads completely ruins, he tried writing to let them know what was happening and TH warped the text into him saying vulgar things bragging abt his dick being a powerful Stand

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:38 AM

Yeah I was gonna add I wasn’t sure if the manga had other stuff, tbf

nozomijoestarToday at 12:38 AM

I think this is also Shounen Tropes of the 90s at play too the "child" character was often written as the comic relief dumbass Narancia suffers it so it does add a layer of Not Good to his relationships The trope still exists tbh Anime cut out him writing I assume bc it's too sexual It's already pushing it having him whip it out and piss in front of everyone jfhdhd

epickinnienaranciaToday at 12:41 AM

Yeah you right, it’s like the i want it to be that deep meme, like Araki obvi doesn’t have him only as comic relief but if he delved into his character more there would’ve been so much more that could’ve been done and shown YEAH DJDBDJDJF I WAS SURPRISED THT WAS ANIMATED

------------------------[ CUT INTERMISSION ]-----------------------------

nozomijoestarToday at 12:51 AM

Ok but to get back on track with where I was trying to go even opening this all up is how it's critical to NaraTrish in a mutually beneficial way

nozomijoestarToday at 1:01 AM

Nara is no incel he's a King obvs but he is also at heart a confused scared kid uncertain of anything in the world beyond what's closest in his grasp and without someone actively believing in and validating him he can't fully achieve awareness of healthy dynamics and even the problems within the ones he already has with his gang and Bruno- Trish doesn't have to babysit him and be the stereotypical The Woman Only Supports And Gives Up Her Body bc thats never her and couldn't be her and Narancia wouldn't make her that way bc even when he kinda touches on that (giving in a bit to the idea that men are the main protectors of women) when he gets too fixated on wanting what he thinks is for her wellbeing he does snap out and acknowledge he's wrong bc

Trish by her independent nature and tremendous Will proves those stereotypes are bullshit, not even factoring in their first meeting as already making a huge impression on his beliefs of what girls can do- Trish knowing how to challenge him by staying true to herself yet having the compassion to help someone suffering and with fewer chances from birth than she had would not only win him over but give him something even Bruno can't, self sustaining confidence, bc Trish isn't part of a chain of command, she's just a girl in love with a boy who wants him to be happy and that concept while foreign to him for so long once it kicks in he could actually learn to build himself For himself and For someone who wouldn't use him for some greater schemes or dirty work,

I love Bruno ok he's one of the best characters in anything ever but his flaw in his ability to help motivate ppl is tied to that fact that he's bringing them into a dangerous strict order of command to Serve not entirely in a place/way that lets them just be themselves and realize organic loving relationships with anyone and themselves SO

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:05 AM

they’re healing...... being shown love without a position of authority or any obligations is so powerful for his growth

nozomijoestarToday at 1:25 AM

That all being said, Everything Trish does he's paying attention to, she keeps him alive during the Grateful Dead fight not because she needs him to serve for a cause ( a cause might I add even Bruno the near saint he is was ready to let Nara go right then and there for bc death is in the job description) but because she doesn't know him well yet and shit he even swung a knife at her when they first met over who was in the bathroom, but he's a person suffering and in pain and to let him die even if it's Expected Of The Mission is garbage to her even if she respects Bruno down the line as a father compared to fucking evil Diavolo,

Trish constantly goes out her way to do these things for Nara bc Trish instinctively knows he's the most vulnerable mentally and her sense of compassion and justice (likely something Donatella made sure to instill in her before her death by cherishing Trish and spoiling her even as a single mother) will not stand to not help someone when she could've- and he reciprocates it even if in disbelief bc he can tell This Person Is Safety, This Person Is Like Me Yet Not, A Better Me I Want To Be, by the time he's about to die someone with his fragile mind was actually gaining conviction about taking control for himself on his own terms and he would risk even those chances to defend the person who actually helped him arrive there (along with Gio) in the first place,

I think by the end of his life he rly did love her or start to, it being romantic or not is up to individual interpretation to which you know I'm in the romance camp, point is he found someone who truly taught him strength without him fully realizing it and did so without belittling him, if anything instead treating him only with love and kindness and patience (not being a door mat for him, but like, not treating him like ass like everyone else has their moments of either), I think anything Trish asks of him, this is all why he's so willing to do it on top of feeling deep empathy, I've written in my character notes as well that like this goes even further to sex being one of the most intimate things there is, like I kno we jest and jape abt Teens Doing Dumb Shit bc we're clowns

but the sheer vulnerability you have to have esp in a first love situation to be willing to go through with that for the first time ever takes a lot of trust and courage, aspects I think Trish was able to give him and would solidify in asking something seen as so important for many people from him, the headstrong Trish wants to be vulnerable for him and the slowly confidence boosted Narancia wants to accept that faith and trust and love and exchange it with his own of the same for her, it's not horny teens 100% it's two hurt but hopeful kids on the verge of having to be adults wanting to find another piece of identity in how they are with someone else, obvs it will forever be offscreen bc pedos deserve to be skinned alive

I just feel that the components that would fuel them to do something teens try to do to feel more adult and bc hormones are a lot more based in growing maturity than pure lust, I think this is what I fully mean by Writing About Teens Exploring Love And Sexuality; Not Fetishizing And Reveling In Showing The Act Itself Especially For Disgusting Titillation, I think this and not explicitly writing the sex are the difference between child porn and creating realistic characters

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:36 AM

Yeah, it is going to sound like a dumb take but the topic of sex and sexuality itself is not inherently sexual, by which I meant it isn’t the focus — there’s SO much more to it and in this case especially it can be like the ultimate sign of love, trust, intimacy, compassion, trying to make your way as a teen through a harsh world, like I can go on. Nasties Dont Interact but the shying away from the mere mention of it in a non-sexualized context is unrealistic.

Yes The Grateful Dead fight i 1000% agree is so important in both his personal growth and the development of their relationship, I think it’s an important parallel that he is dumbfounded about her going to such lengths to keep him alive without the sense of duty/obligation versus Trish’s feelings and outbursts of confusion on why Bucciarati and his gang even cared about her, protecting her to the point of death being on the line.(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:44 AM

all these elements of complication and similarities between their characters is why ive gotten so passionate about both them and their relationship (whether romantic or platonic it’s really fucking strong and good), the story of two kids making it through adversity, learning to unshoulder their burdens and lean on others, the Found Family™️, and learning and growing together is just so much more fucking deep and complex than the mainstream bs that exists.

now im not any type of elitist hipster but esp in male and female relationships portrayed in what feels like basically fucking everything are just like CompHet Bullshit and they’re together bc They Are Just Supposed To Be (not to mention the toxic masculinity culture within that where the women barely have character arcs and are just seen as objects anyways) But what I’m trying to say is that in this the relationship is real and it feels earned in a way that just isn’t there in so much other media out there(edited)

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

Honestly if we tweak this just a lil more this is basically Guts and Casca One of the greatest and saddest romances ever written

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:48 AM

i still have berserk bookmarked just haven’t gotten around to reading yet

nozomijoestarToday at 1:48 AM

If VA was a Seinen it's p much Berserk In Italy Also big brain...galaxy brain...everything you said was a fact signed sealed and delivered(edited)

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:51 AM

Wow we’re actually in sync and using the brain cell to its fullest extent tonight

nozomijoestarToday at 1:51 AM

When I say she's his world and he's hers this is what I mean, not comphet hdhdhfhYEAH HFHDG

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:52 AM

(also my phone autocorrected “and” to “ANF” bc of twdg..... it also sometimes changes it to “AMD” bc I work in technology. My Phone Knows My Interests Are More Important To Me Than One Of The Main Parts Of Speech. Iconic)YESSSS they’re just SO GOOD there’s so much to articulate!

nozomijoestarToday at 1:55 AM

She was his Queen, and god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

epickinnienaranciaToday at 1:55 AM

JDBDHE SHIT THE FUCK IP DKDBEBDJFBBD

nozomijoestarToday at 1:56 AM

Buy my silence $8000 a month

#jojo's bizarre adventure #naratrish #narancia ghirga #trish una #we support them at everything they do ty

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twilightprophet · 5 years

Text

ok i’m gonna rant about my therapy appt for a bit thanks

my surgery is on Mon so we focused a lot on that. he already knows that i don’t really want it, it’s stressing me out, i feel like it was forced on me way too soon. but i filled in the blanks today & it’s nice to talk about it. the results seem so real now that i’m so close to the date. i’m not saying i want kids or at least biological kids, but the possibility has always been on the table. & yeah pregnancy would fucking suck for me bc of the pain i already feel but it was possible. i took that for granted a lot & ignored it bc of the dysphoria but the dysphoria hasn’t been bad since i figured out i’m truly NB so now i can’t really ignore it. it’s just surreal to think that soon i won’t be able to have kids. like,, that’s something trans guys have done before safely. & i figured i could too if i wanted to, when i was a bit older. the pain is so bad that i can’t regret the surgery but my god, if you take that out, it hurts that i have to get it so soon. i wanted more time to think than this. this was a surgery for down the road when my life was more settled & i had no doubts. calling this an “ambiguous loss” is so accurate. idk how to feel. the pain will be gone but this is a possibility being ripped away from me. the loss still hurts on some level

he kept saying i should mark the occassion - i like “mourn” better, “mark” makes it seem like a celebration or something. this is a mourning. but i need a break from everything after this, i need out of this town & my apt for a bit, away from all of this. i know i’m supposed to go abroad in july but that’s not soon enough & that’ll be work. no i need a few days just to sit on someone else’s couch & have them worry about daily trifles. i’m so tired, i need to rest. i hate to put the burden on Villu since he’s already done sm, but god i wanna go back to columbus. it’s a different town & his presence is so calming. & they have some very lovely torts at their zoo that i want to visit. i need something nice to cheer me up, & that sure as hell isn’t here. but my therapist is right, i need someway to cope with everything

& we talked of isaak & monika. bc isaak has been so annoying, always complaining. & how it’s so surreal to hear him complain about finals when i’m stressing about a surgery that will render me infertile + is just a really invasive procedure. my therapist was hoping isaak was an ok dude but nah he’s gotten to be a burden to know. all he does is take & whine. my therapist asked if i had anyone that i could actually talk to and like yeah, but natasha & villu both live in another state & i don’t really know nico and his bf well enough to pass judgment. my therapist always says how he wants me to get more friends but doesn’t push bc i’m so busy & i’ve gotten burned sm. yknow, he said “most ppl are like nico and his bf. it’s weird that you keep getting burned whenever you reach out” - cool !! so this is abnormal, just fuck me ig !! & he followed with how it’s prob bc i’m willing to give a lot & ppl like isaak and monika and my mom sense this so they take everything they can and leave me with nothing. yeah lmao, i attract ppl like that a lot. i swear they can smell it on me

& he said how i’m so good at projecting that i’m collected & calm, that ppl like isaak can’t see that i have no energy left. i wish i didn’t come off that way, i can’t keep giving like this

unrelated but i met w my capstone prof today to talk about my ind research project this summer & she approved the topic & gave me some advice in what i can look into. she also offered to look over my application for the grant so hopefully between her & PK i can write a good app & get that grant

#hush lali #surgery talk //

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some-thrilling-heroics · 6 years

Text

So! me and @enkelimagnus had a nice long chat (seriously loving those~! *hugs* ) about malec and their relationship and how Magnus surely must have some triggers

TRIGGER WARNING for brief mention of Magnus’ mother’s suicide, his past abusive relationships, both romantic and not, talk of triggers and internalized victim blaming

~we are evil, what can you do *shrugs*

There’s anxiety and angst and crying and possible abandonment issues, but the major point is just supportive Alec and what I think we all hope and pray for when we think about telling ppl abt all the bad shit

I bet there were times when Alec does something.... ordinary, nice and kinda stereotypically romantic maybe? and while Magnus appreciates the intention it reminds him of BAD SHIT

I bet he has triggers from all those abusive relationships, not just romantic ones either but he wouldn't just come out and tell Alec bc /one/ that's a lot and heavy and he wouldn't want to burden Alec with all that and also /two/ he's a bit scared that Alec will bolt eventually when he figures he's damaged goods

so he just swallows the wince and smiles and pushes tru, tries to pretend that the roses Alec gives him are just a lovely gesture and they do not remind him of Camille

his inner monologue like "they are just flowers, he's trying to be nice, he's not going to hurt you"

or how that particular meal was his mother's fav and oh ya, she killed herself

or a specific smell that reminds him of living in the streets with stray cats as a child and he has to struggle not to puke

and after bad nights or bad days he's just extra sensitive to all the little things

the runes he sees at the corner of his eyes, that send shivers down his spine of "run Magnus, they found you!"

like, it's not when Alec is there and he can see this is his Alexander, It's when it's in the corner of his eye, or a quick glimpse in the mirror

or when he wakes up in the middle of the night and still half asleep and there's an arm with a dark rune on it, he freezes for a moment and then berates himself

but Alec is noticing

one night Magnus comes home to these delicious smells - Alec is cooking or maybe better re-heating take-out bc he can't cook, we established that lol

and it's so nice and he smiles, he is walking towards the kitchen to greet Alec when there's a sound

crashing plates and cursing

Alec broke something and Magnus is just frozen in place, hyperventilating bc he /knows/ how these things play out

because he /knows/ it's going to be his fault, somehow

that he's either going to be blamed or Alec is going to take it out on him

or he did something earlier and didn't realize

so he's standing there in place, trying not to male a noise

and then Alec notices him in the middle of his cursing and that's when he asks what is all of this flinching and the weird looks he’s been seeing

Alec is concerned but to Magnus it just sounds like a string of accusations

great, so Alec has been paying attention and been noticing his slip ups and now he's mad and omg omg he can't breathe

Alec comes close to him and is freaked out and he's trying so hard not to move away from Alec when he's coming close, because he just wants to get away but what if it makes him worse, he doesn't want to flinch away from Alec and hurt his feelings and make him suspicious

Magnus is also hating himself for not being good enough at swallowing it all, so he's just apologizing - he's not really sure for what exactly but better safe and apologize for everything

which just confuses Alec so much more as he leads Magnus slowly to the couch or the chair or just somewhere to sit bc Magnus looks ready to collapse

and one day, Magnus manages to tell him

it takes a lot from him

he asks Alec to sit down bc he has some things to confess

and he's so afraid

because Alec could hurt him so badly right there

he starts with a list of disclaimers how all he is about to say is not a reflection on Alec, please, just to put Alec at ease when he himself is petrified and ashamed bc as much as he is against blaming the victim he still has shame, obviously he /should/ be able to be better than this

Alec is watching him with those big soulful eyes

he told Alec it was in the past, it should be in the past and here he is abt to bring up all those exes - what is Alec gonna think?

nothing good about him, because he promised it was gone now, that he didn't think about them, and also, he's so weak

he lied basically

and lying is /bad/, it's one of the Bad Things

so he starts rambling, not sure how to explain

rambling abour how he loves him and how he’s old and stupid

Alec disagrees but he's not really listening to that, he’s too busy /remembering/ and meanwhile Alec is also remembering those ittle things he noticed Magnus flinching at

maybe he starts with ppl that are long dead? like this guy in 1920s that had big hands and black hair

or about those shadowhunters that hunted him for sport and how he remembers their runes for deflect or for agility

and then he talks abt Camille, one of his longest relationships still, he realizes that FUCK

those ppl are dead, but Camille is still presumably somewhere around and kicking - Alec is gonna be so suspicious

so Magnus swears up and down he no longer has those feelings for her, and he'd do anything - how about a charm that will tell Alec his exact location? or a truth spell? he can do that, just so Alec will believe him

and Alec is like “what? No, I trust you”

and Magnus ends up telling him all the things

and Alec listens

and every now and then tears start back again, bc one - the memories and two - Alec is looking at him with such utter love and patience he can't take it

like “how can he love me like this. It’s not possible”

Alec keeps holding his hand, asking what is ok to do and throwing random ideas and if those things would be good for Magnus

which is another surprise for Magnus bc he didn't really think that far ahead?

he just told Alec abt those red roses and now Alec is asking him if lilies would be better as if he intends to give him flowers in the future???

Magnus is like ???

"you want... to give me *sniffles* lilies?"

"yeah? bad idea?"

"why would you want to?"

“hmm because I love buying you flowers?”

and after Magnus seems like he told most of it, Alec is like, planning mode, even a little bit smiling and excited and he tells Magnus that it's all gonna be fine, they will work out their own little things

and Magnus is just having a moment, his lip is trembling, taking it all in

how Alec isn't blaming him, doesn't sound angry or hurt but how he's talking abt work-arounds and solutions

Alec suddenly asks if he wants to be hugged or not so Magnus agrees and collapses into Alec and by then dawn is coming

Alec kisses his forehead and says they should sleep, he'll take a day off, maybe come by the Institute later in the evening and stops Magnus when he starts apologiziing for taking all night with this

Magnus snuggles against him in bed, he's completely spent and exhausted

Alec just holds him and he falls asleep, with Alec whispering how he's not going anywhere and how he loves him and how it's all ok

They take it one day at a time

Alec starts making noise when he comes into a room so Magnus doesnt freak out when he appears suddenly

if you liked this, send some love to @enkelimagnus she has the greatest ideas :3

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #sh meta #sh fic #my meta #behold I wrote a thing #whump #crying

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bakukirikami · 7 years

Note

I'd like to request all the angsty headcanons please

GOD ok this ask is over a week old but im finally ready 2 deliver

under the cut bc this is literally 2k of bakukirikami angst hc’s

bakugou

not rlly super angsty but he’s rlly touch sensitive

mainly bc of the sludge villain which. makes sense

the first time kiri and kami swings an arm over his shoulder he flinches To The Max and they’re shocked bc angry baku just jumped away from them

though it’s good for the beginning of their relationship bc it helps them realise and understand it

they both ask him first if they can hug him and tbh for the first few seconds baku doesn’t know what to do

eventually he hugs them back and Gosh it’s such a good feeling

he feels a little calmer and he just relaxes and shit he feels gr88

he doesn’t even mind if he tells anyone else abt hugging them bc he’s just so glad that he feels safe being held by someone

tbh it’s not easy to overcome something like that? esp for baku, he’s so used to having control that the sludge villain really hit him hard.

the first time they share a bed together baku’s in the middle although he’s the tallest.

he’s been so long without proper touch and kiri and kami really just wanna make him feel loved

at first it’s Too Much Touch and he feels really trapped but his bf’s really did some research abt touch sensitivity and they figured out how to calm him down

he sleeps really well when he’s in the middle bc he knows that he’s literally surrounded by love

he’s the last of the three to wake up in the morning and when he does he can just hear kiri and kami whispering about how much they love him so he buries his head in his pillow and kicks them both so they don’t see him smiling and blushing

eventually after a REALLY LONG TIME he does end up trusting 1a so he doesn’t really mind if they know about his touch sensitivity

there’s nothing wrong with it ofc he’s not any less of a hero it’s just another part of him

but if anyone from another class/in general mocks him about his flinching he will try to explode him and it takes kiri and kami 43 tries to get him to calm down

he finds it really irritating ofc bc he wasn’t always touch sensitive! fuckin sludge villain

when he goes home to visit his family he brings kiri and kami home to meet them

mitsuki hasn’t seen baku in ages so her first instinct is to hug him which is p normal for a mom imo

he flinches for a second and then he realises this is my mom she literally has baby soft skin she can’t hurt me before he relaxes

she still notices his flinching bc she’s his fuckin mom so she asks kiri about it later bc he seems like a good lad

kami overhears and helps explain

later when they’re trying to go to sleep they tell baku and he just shrugs bc he doesn’t mind. he’s getting used to it now

sidenote bakugou’s family fucking love kiri and kami

when he finds out ragdoll lost her quirk he gets a few nightmares about losing his own quirk

makes sense tbh bc the majority of his confidence and arrogance stemmed from his Super Awesome Quirk

usually ends up with him waking up really sweaty and holes in his blankets from uncontrolled explosions during his sleep

he goes to the bathroom to cool off and he stares at his reflection a lot and constantly reminds himself that he’s not going to lose his quirk he’s not he’s not he’s not

what happened to ragdoll isn’t going to happen to him he’s okay

when/if kiri and kami find out they’re shocked again bc they’re not used to insecure bakugou

however they do reassure him a lot that he’s not going to lose his quirk

they remind him a lot that nightmares don’t make you weak at all

he doesn’t usually say anything but if he does it’s usually just “yeah, yeah, yeah, i know.”

“thanks dumbasses”

his dreams usually rotate between hero dreams and fluffy dreams abt his bf’s so the first time he has a nightmare he’s super pissed off bc! He’s strong he shouldn’t be getting nightmares

kami and kiri are Best Bfs they buy baku all might merch when he’s feeling Bad

kirishima

right so listen up kiri’s rlly insecure about his quirk in general so like after baku got kidnapped he really beat himself up about it like A LOT A LOT

his updated hero costume has sleeves from a few of the scars he gave himself during that time

bc of his quirk he rlly doesn’t need armour or anything so everything when they tell him he can upgrade he goes

“fuck i need to hide these scars”, thus, sleeves

during the hero license exam arc kami’s confused bc why the fuck would kirishima, whos ((pretty much)) made of steel need s l e E V E S

kami doesn’t question it tho bc who the fuck is he to judge. kami’s costume is literally just a cool jacket and pants w/ lightning bolts

baku (and everyone else) doesn’t really notice bc theyre used to kiri’s Extra As Fuck costume

anyway eventually bakugou and kaminari are going to end up seeing his scars, whether on purpose or not

when kiri explains baku’s first reaction is just anger bc not only does he think he’s the reason for all might’s end, but he’s thinks that it’s his fault kiri hurt himself

its no one’s fault of but neither of them know what to say but they just both hold kiri really tightly and at that moment, that’s all he needs

DOESN’T LIKE TALKING ABT HIS FEELINGS BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO BURDEN HIS PALS

sunshine kid needs to stop bottling things up blease kiri

spends half of his time in class overthinking about things

he wants to make everyone happy and please everyone but kiri u can’t do that you gotta make yourself happy first

after he, baku and kami get together he talks a lot abt his insecurities and he feels so liberated honestly its a good feel u go kiri 👏👏

they’ll be in bakugou’s room watching a movie and as soon as the credits start rollin he exhales and sits up straight and just Starts Talking

bakugou and kami don’t interrupt them, they just let him talk and as soon as he’s done kami cuddles him and drowns him in blankets

baku does His Thing but kiri still knows he cares so he smiles really fondly at baku which makes him blush bc kiri has the nicest smile!

eventually kami will make bakugou cuddle w/ them

they all sleep a lot better that night.

(kiri’s in the middle)

used to get a lot of shit @ middle school during The Edgy Phase

filed his teeth in anger

vowed to be the nicest person he could be

he doesn’t like thinking about it a lot but he definitely thinks it made him a stronger and better person

got mocked a lot abt his quirk bc it wasn’t “flashy enough” ://

this is already canon but he cried when meeting tetsu for obvious reasons

STILL CANON but best bros w/ tetsu

he talks to tetsu abt their quirks a lot

tetsu is a Comfort Buddy

initially tetsu doesn’t rlly understand why kiri is upset about the lack of originality of his quirk, but once he does understand he’s very comforting

of the two, people say tetsu’s quirk is more unique because he’s transforming his body from flesh into steel, whereas kiri’s is flesh into harder flesh

(this is p much why tetsu initially has difficulty understanding)

tetsu reassures kiri a lot tho and in the end they always feel a lot better about their quirks

once or twice tetsu mentions it to kami and bakugou

out of the blue they’ll randomly compliment kiri and his quirk and he’s super happy

they never say anything to kiri about tetsu but kami and baku are really grateful that he told them

forever upset that he won’t meet crimson riot

kaminari

mmmMMMKAY maya has some angsty kami hc’s here in case u havent seen them yet but ITS MY TURN NOW

super pissed off bc of how he always gets called stupid and dumb!

yes he doesn’t have the best grades but can you stick a knife in a toaster without dying? no? didn’t think so

whenever anyone is a dick about his intelligence he gets really pissed and starts shooting tiny sparks out of his body

when he came to UA he did that a lot less tho

but he does it most often around jirou

(at UA its usually her being a dick)

once she pushed him a lot and he nearly did fry her

kiri had to calm him down and hold him back

when he was little and figuring out his quirk he accidentally fried his favourite book and he cried for ages

got yelled at by teachers as a kid by teachers for accidentally short circuiting the building

bc of this he doesn’t like loud shouting a lot

he Will Flinch

especially when he goes to UA and when all might teaches

nothing wrong w/ all might ofc but his voice is really loud i’d flinch too

like he knows all might’s not going to hurt him but fuck it sounds like he is

after a while all might is the only loud adult voice he can deal with

he doesn’t really want the teachers to know bc its sorta a sensitive topic

when/if kiri and bakugou find out they won’t force him to tell anyone, they’ll just help him cope with it and comfort him

scars on his limbs from not knowing how to use his quirk as a kiddo

constantly terrified of losing control over his quirk and hurting ppl he cares about

idk i think that’s already canon but it’s important bc !! he actually likes the people at UA and he doesn’t want to hurt him

craves affection and attention all the time

he doesn’t need to be the center of attention at all, he just wants to be noticed and would rather not blend it

it’s not like he would go out of his way to stand out though, he just wants to be liked for who he is

it helps him a lot w/ his self confidence since he’s so used to him and his quirk being shoved aside (a result of the backlash of overusing his quirk)��

will cover up his pain or hurt with a joke because he like other people seeing him helpless

always stressed on how to be a better hero

runs his hands through his hair a lot

on bad days he’ll pull at his hair

bakugou and kirishima can tell whenever he’s feeling more upset because they’ll notice random strands of his hair floating around

a short attention span

it contributes to his “bad grades” and he hates himself for it

literally when he figured out just how short it was he electrocuted a couple trees because he was so pissed off

his parents gave him a really old record player for his dorm at UA but it broke when kiri and bakugou were having an arm wrestle in his room

dunno why they arm wrestling in his room BUT THEY WERE

he’s upset for ages bc that’s what reminded him of home

tries every possible way to fix it

he’s not even upset with kiri or bakugou he’s just. Empty

kiri and even bakugou apologise a lot and they actually feel awful for ages

at some point they buy him another one

ofc they know they can’t replace the other one but what else can you do

can’t go a day without someone insulting his hero costume

cries when he can’t buy a new video game and starts shooting sparks if someone else in 1a has it but he doesn’t

he gets really insecure about his body randomly, especially when he compares himself to bakugou and kirishima

but he wouldn’t mind being a little stronger but boi gets distracted all the time

but its obviously different bc ofc baku and kiri use their whole body to fight, but kami doesn’t need to do that

that being said, he doesn’t really want to be Super Buff either

#katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #kaminari denki #bnha #mha #i listened to my emo romantic playlist on full blast the whole time writing this who the fuck am i #also this is all over the place im sorry !! hope u enjoyed tho #also i think touch sensitive baku is kinda popular but its one of my faves so #self harm mention /#headcanons #bkkb #mod maia #maka lucy #asks #angst #affection #cuddling #fluff #requests

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gardenbiriety · 7 years

Text

bad feeligns below lol

so like tw for self harm, sui ideation, gender dysporia, anxiety/depression? generally Not Good Feels, parents being yikes, transphobia, ableism, grottiness

so like i feel so shit and every time i get to an okay kind of place the tiniest thing happens and it’s like i’ all the way back at the start? why can’t i just be neurotypical already?

so i ‘m gonna be legally changing my name soon and my parents don’t want me too and while i don’t think they are going to actively stop me i’m worried that they are goign to be make it more shitty to live at home but i can’t go anywhere else? like i am in the midst of yr 12 and having to learn how a new household works and their schedule would fuck me up so bad? plus i wouldn’t want ot burden anyone like that

like i’m really fucking scared? but i’m more scared of what i’ll do to myself if i don’t change my name? like i think about hurting myself every single day and the urge to do it is so fucking strong like? what’s stopping me? nothing? i could fuckign slice my hips open and nobody would ever know it’s winter

i’m just very very scared and very tired and even tho i know my friends love me and support me but like? my family doesn’t. like they ‘’’support me’’’ by only verbally critizing me and not actively standing in my way when i do things (generally) and i’m jsut so fucking tired of it? like i want out but i don’t wanna financailly cripple myself and it’s not like i’m ever going to amount to anything anyway? i mean? for fucks sake? who is going to hire a sad shy ~~~ special snowflake ~~ child? like? i am never going to be employed? nothing i do will be judged based ont he actual action it will always be about me being genderqueer like??? everything will come back to that and i don’t want to? live like that? i’m so fucking mad but also exhausted so mostly i’m sad and i’ve had enough? is it too much to ask to be accepted and love by my family? am i really that? diffficult to love? like? that’s literally all i want is for them to actually love me and support me and it’s not even that hard right? i don’t understand why they are like this ?

i am also goign to fucking fail school, i’m nto doing maths but i still won’t get the score i need to get into the courses i want that don’t have math ass a pre req, but with maths i would get like a 40 study score so? i’m fuCked there isn’t even any point anymore i’ve had enough honestly

like i am such a lost cause i can’t even handle sitting in a room? and making myself actually do homework? in that room in school time set aside specifically for that? like how fucking lazy do you have to be? why can’t i just? fucking? do it? i am actually smart but because i am fucking incapable of putting in any sort of effort i’m gonna fucking fail year 12 lmao what even is the point?

i’m just so tired i never want to do anythign again i just want to be gone for fucks sake? if i wasn’t such a wuss i would be already lol

i keep trying to be lik e’ don’t be mean to urself it’s just ur MI making you like this, don’t walk on a broken leg, ecct.” but like? that’s just me trying to shift rresponsibilty for my own actions off myself why can’t i jut grow up and hold myself accountable lmao?

okAy and also like? my parents say i don’t talk to them but when i do they always get mad at me? like i was telling my dad about how i’m dropping maths but i might be allowed to be able to sit in the class room (my friendss are in the class and i’m good friends with the teacher too) and even tho i’m not actually a part of the class i could study/do homework there instead of in the study center (which fucks me up and i have panic attacks in there like every otehr day lol kms) which would be so fucking good like? i would be so productive and yet? my dad was like ? y don’t u jsut stay in maths then?” and gave me the biggest greasie and i legit had to leave bc i HAtE fighting with my dad bc he scares the shit out of me lol? like my ma i know she loves me even if she is a dickhead sometimes and that she will listen if i write things down and don’t be too confrontational but my dad? i’m terrified he will hit me and like? u know that voice ppl use when they speak to a dog that’s being bad? he uses the same voice to talk to me and my brothers when we do something he disapproves of and i fucking hate it so much like? i hate it i hate it i hate it and i hate how he will hurt my brothers and i can’t do anything bc if i say anything i’l make it worse and one of them has adhd and my parents are both super harsh on him all the time and like? nothing they do actually helps him ti’s just easy for them to be mad and have him be scared into doing what they want rahter than actually being responsible and growing and being a good person and i’m so mad bc my brother is literally an angel and he thinks he’s st*pid bc my dad called him (idk hwo to censor it but like? basically he insults his interlligence all the fucking time ) and they yell at him when he doesn’t answer right away and it makes me so fucking mad like he tries his best and they have no understanding what so everr like they don’t even? i’m really fucking mad i love my brother so much and they are shit as too him and i really dont want him to end up like me bc if he does if he ever says anything my dad would probably actually beat him up and i’m terrified for him? is that silly? idk since i think abt sui like all the time i’m just scared he might also get like me but bc he’s not ‘’’’a girl’’’’ (i’m not but that s why feelings are ok bc females are weak appaz lmoa) and they will jsut tell him to get over it and i’m so?

i’m so fucking scared and i dont want to feel like this anymore but it won’t stop and i dont’ know what i’m supposed to do i literally cannot continue like this but i can’t cchange anythign bc i’m so powerless and weak and i fucking? why can’t i jsut be okay ffor more than a few hours at a time is that to much to ask? i jsut want to be fucking happy and i’m never going to be able to achieve that? i’m never going to get into the uni i want, i’m nto gonna be able to go to the places i want, i’m not going to be able to live how i want i’m not going to be able to do anyting? my life is just gonna be under the thumb of my parents until i fucking die and i’m too weak to change anything and i hate myself lmao

i cannot even look in the mirror it’s so fucking? painful? like i just want to be recognised as myself is that oo much to fucking ask? for people to use the right name and the right pronousna dn to not invite me to fucking girls nights ever again.

i feel like a clown with makeup on and i feel like a boy with pants on and i hate both i hate it i hate it i hate my long hair and i dont want to get it bleached againa nd i don’t want to keep it but i’m too sccared to fucking cut it off bc my ma will hate it and i hate the way half of my shirts cling and show off my boobs and i hate my boobs but at the same time they are really nice boobs? i’m proud? i hate the way my cheeks are pudgy and my jaw isn’t sharp and my forehead is too big and my chin is covered in pimples and so it my back and my shoulders and my feet are bony and weird and have big veiws and my hips are too big and my arms are disgusting and my ribs stick out funny and my fingers are always msising skin and i have scabs on my scalp from where i’ve scratched it oo much and i hate how sometimes i can’t wash my hair bc there are too many cuts on my fingers and it’s too painful and i just wish i could fucking? not be like this i wish i could work out without being embarssed, i would i could put my msuic on in the car without beeing embarssed, i wish i could fucking exist in any sort of space outside my bedroom without beign embarassed i wish i could push through that embarassment and o things i want to do i wish i could fucking do something? literally anything? just? do ? something? i wish i wasn’t such a piece of shit

#they scream into the void #anyway kms #ew

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kewltie · 5 years

Text

so i have been actively following this super rad manga series called, “Otome Kaijuu Caramelize”, which is about a girl who occasionally turns into a giant ass monster, a kaiju, in the presence of her crush. it’s quirky, weird, and so damn cute so ofc it’s right up my alley. and thanks to that godzilla!bakugou artwork we saw waaaaaay back I COULDN’T GET THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD.

katsuki is the (next) defender/protector of japan after his mother, the great queen of monsters, had decided she was going to save humanity instead of destroying bc she fell in love with a human call masaru (imagine a giant ass monster WOOING YOU lmao). he’s half kaiju and half human and all temperamental shit, but he gotten good at controlling his transformation which he can now call upon command at will. when he was younger, though, it easily get triggered by any kind of emotional stress/strained but he’s older now and he’s NO NOOB!!! most of the time, katsuki is just a normal high schooler, abit a highly competitive and talented one, but sometimes when there’s a kaiju attacking the coast of japan katsuki transform into his monster alter ego BAKUSHINCHI, a giant firebreathing lizard monster, that protect japan from other giant ass monster!!!!!!

he’s a national secret and is under intense scrutiny so katsuki never had a normal life either by the people who knows who he really is (fear, awe, and nerves are abound in his presence) or his peers who views him as peculiar and odd bc they don’t know how or why but there’s just something strange and inhuman about bakugou. the only exception is his childfriend deku who no matter how much katsuki tried to push him away, izuku always come BACK and is fiercely loyal to katsuki. also, while most people spurn kaiju and think they’re a nuisance even though they have a KAIJU PROTECTOR IN THE FORM OF KATSUKI AND HIS MOM, izuku kind of um... a fanboy of these kaiju?? e doesn’t seem to fear them at all and even entertain the idea that humans and kaiju can coexist in peace :OOOOO. WHICH had made his childhood rough bc other kids call him the monster’s lover :((((((. it’s actually bc as a child, izuku’s life was save by a kaiju and ever since them he saw them very differently (that kaiju may or may not be katsuki), but also bc he’s a just a good boy at heart and doesn’t see them in all black and white.

though katsuki and izuku grew up together, izuku was never let in on katsuki’s secret or the true nature of katsuki’s mother. his parents are both scientists who work on the super SECRET lab that study kaiju and as part of that program katsuki was exposed to izuku as a child bc they’re the same age and izuku’s parents thought katsuki needed someone of equal peer so he woudn’t be lonely and have someone to play. izuku had absolutely no clue that the boy he saw in the lab, HIS ONLY FRIEND when he was a child, is the the bakushinchi that fighting for japan against other kaiju right now.

they got separated around the age of 8 or 10 when a kaiju accidental nearly killed izuku bc izuku and katsuki was allowed to go outside together but under strict surveillance. in this one occasion a kaiju appeared and attacked the place they were at and katsuki wanted to transformed and fight it BUT izuku is right next to him and if he transformed than he was afraid that he would lose izuku and izuku would be terrified of him. his human self couldn’t do much against another kaiju but izuku, who isn’t exactly fearless, with trembling legs stood up and tried to protect katsuki WITH HIS SMALL BODY SOBS. but with a single wave of its hand, the kaiju slapped izuku against a wall and izuku was knocked out. that all it took for katsuki to go berserk and transformed into his kaiju alter ego and fought. they leveled an entire city block with their fighting but he managed to save everyone and izuku. that day cemented his desire to protect everyone, but he couldn’t go through losing izuku again.

ever since that day, katsuki disappeared from izuku’s life but izuku never stop looking and hoping katsuki would come back even though he fears that it was him that caused katsuki to go away bc he was weak and couldn’t save katsuki in the end. katsuki actually was training with his mom to control his kaiju power so that one day he can take her place as the defender of japan!!!!!! it won’t be until many years later when they’re both 16-17 years old that they meet again and katsuki got his powers locked down. he has been taking his mother’s place to fight other kaiju as the bakushinchi and in one of these battles he meet izuku again bc IZUKU ever since that day when he nearly died and he was saved by the bakushinchi, he has become enamored with kaijus and wanted to be close. He staked out every kaiju’s battles and put himself in the line to record every details and post it on his fansite--which has all the detail and info about a lot of kaiju... but most specifically the bakushinchi who he admits to favoring A LOT.

katsuki in his kaiju form is fighting some kind of worm with a hundred eyes and he had been worked hard by his mother to get this point where can hold his own against many low-mid tier kaiju and HE HASN’T LOST A BATTLE YET, but the moment he recognized that small form (which is v v v hard bc katsuki is like the size of tokyo tower and everyone kind of look like an ant to him in this form) he got so distracted that he took a tail whipped from the other kaiju and flew into a building. katsuki manages to slap himself sober and put all his focus into the fight so he can yell at izuku later for, like, while everyone was RUNNING AWAY FROM TWO RAMPAGING MONSTERS izuku WAS RUNNING TOWARD THEM INSTEAD bc he’s a reckless idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that’s how they reunite, right after the battle when everything was cleared out and the SUPER SECRET ORG that in charged of kaiju (and occasionally katsuki when he is deem controllable lol) is there to make sure everything is okay, katsuki had turned back into his human self and kinda let izuku assume that he’s part of the org and not, like, IS THE ORG.

so yea, izuku and katsuki meet again upon the aftermath of the kaiju battle where katsuki yell at izuku a lot for what he did while izuku is just super happy to reunite with his childhood friend who disappeared over five years ago. katsuki worked so hard to finally get to this point where he can fully control his power and be near other ppl safely!! but the moment he meet izuku again, katsuki’s heart races and his cheek flush and he can feel the bones underneath his skin trying to break out of his human flesh!!!!!!!!! he thinks it’s fluke. katsuki battles giant ass monsters, HE IS A GIANT ASS MONSTER, and he even knocked his mom down (once!! before she kick his ass but w/e she’s the queen of the monsters so that’s pretty impressive on his part) so NO HUMAN IS GOING TO FUCK WITH HIM. except izuku does totally fuck with him lmao.

now that they reunited katsuki got permission to join the human’s world as just another teen boy and enrolled himself into izuku school bc he worked soooo hard to prove himself to everyone that he’s SAFE and he can maintain control of his form!!!!! but the more he exposed to izuku the more he realizes these flash of uncontrolable urge and panic energy around izuku is him HAVING A CRUSH AND FREAKING OUT OVER IT. like, when he was younger it was his emotional outburst that triggered his transformation but he’s older and more mature and can handle his power, yet the moment izuku get too close to him he can himself losing control and scales apart on his arm ;AJSDF;ALSJDF lol.

but it’s not like the crush just appear out of nowhere!! it was nurture since young bc kaiju mate for life. katsuki didn’t know it yet but all that biting izuku’s cheek when they were little (which izuku thought was kinda weird but just katsuki being katsuki) was katsuki laying claim to izuku as his mate. izuku is diff bc he is strong of heart, good nature, and he just loves people so fiercely and katsuki though has the burden to protect japan and humanity is performing his duty but doesn’t nececesary see the value in humanity in the end bc he protects them but they still treat him as a monster, something to be fear and use, bc he knows that the japanese gov’t does everything to keep him a secret and safe but they do it bc they NEED HIM TO FIGHT. but izuku doens’t need him for anything, he just want to be by katsuki’s side sobs!!!!!!! so how could katsuki ever resist that????

izuku isn’t in love with katsuki though. he loves KATSUKI but not in love so katsuki has to work to get izuku to see him in that light. not that he has to work THAT hard at all lol bc izuku was already kinda crazy in love katsuki’s kaiju form bc izuku never forgot the kaiju that saved him when he was a kid and HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT’S KATSUKI!!!! so that save a lot of trouble for katsuki in case he ever reveal his secret, not that katsuki had any idea that izuku is totally ok with A MONSTER BF bc most ppl aren’t lol :P.

so katsuki takes to wooing his mate as awkwardly as possible bc his frame of ref is literally his mother (whose never let the fact that she’s a kaiju stop her from chasing after his father, HIS VERY TINY FATHER in comparison to her). but the wooing is kinda diffuclt and DANGEROUS, not bc of izuku who is wary of katsuki or anything but of katsuki himself bc everytime izuku touches him katsuki freaks out and his heart just GO DOKIDOKI AND HE CAN FEEL THE URGE TO DESTROY THINGS AND JUST READY TO BREAK SOMEONE FACE IN. everything about izuku is a trigger--the way he smile, his warm laughter, and how he look at izuku with total admiration and it’s all in the way he wears his feelings all over his face. he doesn’t hide how he feels at all and izuku is just full of love for humanity and even KAIJU that katsuki CAN’T HANDLE IT AND JUST WANT TO RAMPAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so like, dating for them is such a dangerous concept that the japanese org have an entire TEAM full of people prepping and watching izuku and katsuki’s dates, trying to make sure katsuki DOESN’T GO BERSERK over some dumb things like handholding and it’s the most embarrasing, sweet, and hilarious THING EVER. their guardians don’t know whether to laugh or cry that this scary ass monster boy is like so terrified and nervous over this green eyes boy that he transformed into his monster form anytime they touch!!!!!!!!!!!!

so here are these adults, badass adults themselves who work at a super secret org that deal with giant city destroying monsters, and they’re here surveillance two kids going on a date bc one of them just happen to be the monster boy that is defending their country and the other also happen to be the boy THAT HE IS IN LOVE WITH. it’s all hilarious and ridiculous and they aren’t pay ENOUGH OR THIS SHIT as they watch katsuki try not to freak out at izuku leaning in to close and blow up the entire city block in the process!!!!!!!!!!

the world is constantly bombard with monsters trying to destroy humanity and here is katsuki one of the last lines of defense and is a BAD ASS MONSTER HIMSELF find himself can’t handle a simple human boy and that’s just a;ja;sjdf;alsjdf;alsdjf;alsdjf the greatest love story on earth.

#bakudeku #not!fic #fic: doki doki

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