#This one sneaks past people's radars more than the other

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 10.7 K Warnings: ANGST! Use of the unforgivables, bIood, major and minor character dеath, major sad moments, mental breakdowns, taking characters to their breaking point, pain, griеf… I’m really sorry. Prompt: What happens when you hear something dreadful happening, will you stand up for what's right? Will you stay quiet for the greater good? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

A/N: This chapter is getting shadowbanned no matter what I change so please like, reblog and comment so it does not go under the radar.

Chapter 44: No One But You 

A hand above the water An angel reachin' for the sky Is it raining in Heaven? Do you want us to cry?

Where the hell is the alcohol in this party? You wondered as you stepped out of the room, dealing with Arkalis and Evan was more than enough for the rest of the night. If only you could find a corner, pull out a book and focus on that without being bothered by anything or anyone else, you’d be satisfied. Of course, that could not be the case, could it? 

“Well look who’s here?” Barty said with a smile as he blocked your path. 

“Oh, Barty!” you said as you tilted your head. “You should probably go look for Evan, he seemed like he needed… a friend.” 

Barty’s eyes seemed to burn when you spoke, but you stood your ground, even as he approached you with ferocity. He might be as tall as you were, even if younger, and he might have been able to overpower you in the past, but he was not about to make a scene in the middle of the party, he wasn’t dumb, he had never been. And clearly, he wasn’t important enough for the deatheater clique to be at the private dinner, he didn’t need unwanted attention. 

“If you did something to him again…” he said, voice low and threatening.

You blinked calmly at him, “Barty… in this party, you should be careful with the things that come out of your mouth.” He grabbed onto your wrist, anger clearly seething from him. “I didn’t touch him,” you said as you looked down at his hand and then back at his face, “I’d suggest you’d have the decency of doing the same.” 

Then you felt a hand on your shoulder, Barty finally let go of his hold on you but stayed in his place, glaring now at the person standing behind you. 

“And I would suggest you turn the fuck away before I hex you again. Remember where you are Crouch. This might be Arkalis’ dinner, but my father was the one to invite Tom here.” 

Barty gave you another look of hatred and then stormed off. You sighed and turned back to look at Regulus. 

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, eyebrows softly knit in concern.

“No,” you said as you shook your head and moved your hand a little bit, it was the same arm Evan had latched onto you earlier, but frankly, after having fallen from your broom, punched by bludgers, dragged by water spirits and scratched by werewolves, this felt like nothing. “Is there Firewhiskey here?”

“Firewhiskey?” Regulus asked in disbelief. “You want to drink?” 

“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve never sneaked out Firewhiskey from your father’s stash.” Regulus gave you a look in return that was answer enough. “So, you’ve never drunk?” 

He shook his head and you laughed at that, “Such a good boy,” you teased. In response, Regulus pushed you to the side, which only made you laugh a little more. “Let’s find some,” you said with a smile, Regulus tilted his head to the side disapprovingly. 

“It’s a terrible idea to do it here,” he responded. 

“Come on, Reg, there’s no way you want to see whatever the hell those people consider to be a show, do you?” 

Regulus averted your gaze, and you narrowed your eyes at him. Does he know something…

A glass of cold water over your dress diverted your thoughts. “Oh, sorry,” the girl said, she had a streak of white hair pulled back behind her ears and looked far from being sorry. 

Your dress was black, so whatever she had poured, certainly didn’t ruin the look, even if it was fucking freezing you now, “Whatever, I’ll just use a drying spell,” you said as you pulled your wand out and waved it over your dress. 

“You’re Silas’ daughter, aren’t you? You were sitting next to Lucius at the dinner.” 

You turned to her with a small frown, she was the girl talking to Barty earlier, the one that looked like Sirius and Regulus. You extended your hand politely, “I’m afraid I don’t know who you are.” 

She seemed irritated at your lack of recognition. “This is my cousin Narcissa, Cygnus’ daughter,” Reggie said, introducing her to you.  

Cygnus’ daughter… Where had you heard that name? Right, Andromeda’s sister, you thought. You hadn’t spoken much to Andromeda Tonks, though Sirius and Remus had shown you some of her letters. As far as you knew, she had been kicked out of the family in the same way Sirius had, and her sisters had done nothing to help them. But then again, Regulus hadn’t helped Sirius either and you didn’t hate him for that. 

“Nice to meet you,” you added, she gave you a look before actually shaking your hand. 

“You’re dating Sirius,” she added, her tone making it clear that she looked down on you for it. 

“Cissy,” Regulus said in a warning tone. 

“I am, he’s delightful, you should know since you grew up together.” 

She scoffed. “Sirius is a disaster. He would always spark chaos and make stupid pranks on the parties, I’m glad he’s not invited anymore. He wears that awful leather jacket all the time, pretending to be a muggle or whatever and he’s insufferably loud.” 

“All of which I find absolutely charming,” you replied with a nonchalant smile, “You do not?” 

Cissy, as Regulus called her, scoffed again. “Just stay away from Lucius,” she added before leaving you and Regulus behind in favour of talking with someone else, her long hair flipping behind her in a rather majestic way that you would have praised had she not been a total bitch to Sirius. It must be in their genes, you thought, the Blacks have amazing hair.

You turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “The hell was that about?” 

“Lucius is her fiancé, she must have seen you talking to him at the dinner,” Regulus said. “You… looked very interested in whatever he was telling you.” 

“Oh, that?” You asked with a smile that turned into a smirk, “I was trying to piss Evan off.” 

“I figured.” 

“Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an offence.” Regulus raised his eyebrows at you and you gasped in disbelief. Then you spotted someone serving themselves a drink over in the far corner, it was the bar. You smirked, “Come on Reg, I’ll teach you how to drink.” 

“I don’t need to–” 

“Just come,” you added and pulled him along with you, you managed to convince the house elf there to give you a half-empty bottle of Fire Whiskey after telling them Arkalis had asked you to take them to him and pulled Reggie along towards a balcony. 

“It’s cold,” he said as the two of you stepped out, you could see the puff of condensed air blowing from his mouth as he spoke. 

“This’ll warm you up,” you said as you offered him the bottle. He gave you an exasperated look that was an awful lot like Sirius’ but took the bottle in his hands anyway, taking a small sip and scrunching up his face as he felt the bitter taste. Then he coughed and covered his mouth with his arm as he returned the bottle to you with a disgusted frown, you were laughing so much it took you a second to lean closer to him and place your hand on his back. “You all right?” 

“No wonder they call it Firewhiskey,” he said as he managed to catch his breath. You laughed again, still rubbing your hand over his back, he shook his head as he stood straight. He was a deal taller than you now, it hadn’t quite settled back in school, but it was evident now. “Why would you even drink it?” 

“Do you not feel warmer?” you asked as with a raised eyebrow, he seemed to think about it for a second. You were now taking your own sip of the bottle. 

“A warming spell would for sure do the trick.” 

You sighed and leaned over to look at the sky, you could see Sirius’ star up there, shiny and beautiful, just like him. Walburga and Orion might have been awful, but they definitely had a good eye for picking out names, even if they were just copying those of the stars. 

“Yeah, but it would take away the fun,” you said, head still tilted up and looking at the sky. You heard a few whispers from the inside, and you leaned your head over the window, there were people crowding a certain area of the room. Regulus stepped in between you and the window. 

“How’s school going?” 

You gave him a look, that was a stupid question. 

“I mean, I saw you at the Slug Party, you’ve been doing good at potions, haven’t you?” he pressed. 

“Haven’t I?” you asked with a frown, allowing your gaze to turn back to him. “It’s all thanks to my partner, he’s really good?” 

“Sirius?” Regulus asked, he had never heard of his brother being remarkably good at potions. 

“What? No, my potions partner, Remus.” 

“Ah… of course,” he said, now he had heard how good his brother’s best friend was. He was even a prefect. 

“But I’m shit at transfiguration,” you said with a shrug. “I don’t think Minnie and Horace are friends enough to discuss such things, though.” 

“I could teach you,” he offered. 

“Thanks, but I’ve already got a tutor.” You tilted your head to the side to try and see inside and then he moved, blocking your line of sight again. “Regulus?” 

“Yeah?” he asked, playing dumb. 

“You know what’s happening there, don’t you?” 

He swallowed thickly, “Nothing you should be concerned about, it’s adult stuff.” You shook your head as that and motioned to move inside but he stopped you again. “Please!” He sounded desperate. “Let’s stay here, and drink a bit more, I’m… I’m not looking forward to seeing my parents again.” 

You sighed, you knew how delicate it was for both Regulus and Sirius to deal with Walburga and Orion, and perhaps you shouldn’t have listened, you should have followed your instinct and walked inside, but there was something about the pleading expression Regulus had made that convinced you. You huffed out a breath and turned back to him. “How’s school for you? Messing with Severus didn’t put you on the spot, did it?” 

Regulus shook his head and carefully moved to the side, pulling his wand from his pocket and secretly casting a spell towards the doors so the sounds from the inside wouldn’t filter to the outside. You were looking at his face, so determined to figure out his emotions that you failed to notice what he was doing.   

“Not at all,” he responded. “Severus thinks it was all your fault.” 

You pouted at that, “How could it even be my fault, he’s the one that ate the snacks, I didn’t even offer them to him.” 

Regulus laughed at that, “So you had nothing to do? No emotional manipulation involved?” 

“What do you take me for? A housemate?” 

“Haven’t you been saying you ‘missed the whole indoctrination’ part by getting to Hogwarts so late?” 

“Doesn’t change the fact the snakes can be very manipulative. You know the muggles think they’re to blame for losing paradise.” 

Regulus huffed as he shook his head, he was just proving your point right then and there, “Well, I’ve never met a snake with ‘Vixen’ as a nickname.” 

“You know about that?” you asked in disbelief. “How do you even know about that?” 

“The entire school knows about that! Potter isn’t exactly subtle when he calls you. To be honest, I thought he was pissed the first time I heard it, and then I was surprised you weren’t insulted by it.” 

“It’s an inside joke.” 

“I could tell,” he responded and then smirked, almost imperceptibly, “I think it fits.” 

“Ass,” you said with a laugh and pushed him lightly. He laughed along with you. 

Talking with Regulus was fun, he told you more about the Slytherin common room, he mentioned seeing the giant squid through their window once when he was in his second year studying for a quiz late at night, and he told you about the time he had done the quidditch trials, back when Dorcas was still in the team. He asked you about the race, and you told him that’s when you and Sirius got together. 

You also told him about some of the fun things you had done with the boys, like picnics near the lake and even sneaking out at night to get books from the forbidden section. He asked you to teach him the disillusionment charm one day, and you promised you would. 

While the rest of his family was a piece of work, you thought Regulus had come out as nice as Sirius, even if a little more stuck up. You didn’t mind though, it was part of his own charm. He’d make a great brother-in-law…

“And then Solacis added the last ingredient of the potion, and it blew up on their faces…” he told you with a smile, mimicking the explosion with his own hands. The alcohol had warmed his cheeks and made him a lot more expressive by now. You laughed along with him. 

“Yeah? And what did Slughorn do?” 

“Nothing, he was being distracted by Nox so they wouldn’t fail the both of us,” he explained. “Nox added dragon breath to his potion and it clogged the entire classroom with purple smoke.” 

“For real?” 

He nodded excitedly, it was nice to see Regulus more relaxed, “Nox thought it was amazing and tried switching the ingredients around, he now knows how to make smoke of almost any colour, we’ve used it on parties so many times since then.” 

“I had no idea Nox was that into potions…” 

“Oh, he loves them! Slughorn doesn’t like him too much though, he’s always doing his own experiments in the back of the classroom instead of focusing on the class, and often ends up changing the potions around and–” a harrowing scream cut through his words. 

Your head snapped towards the inside and Regulus blinked a couple of times. His spell! It had worn out. 

But I’m not that drunk, he thought, he was certainly having fun, but that was just a consequence of hanging out with you.

“What the hell was that?” you asked as you looked inside, but he stood in between you and the door in a second.

You gave Regulus a stern look but he shook his head really fast, he looked nervous, like a kid that had done something terrible and didn’t want his parents to find out. 

“Regulus,” you said as you tried to look over his shoulder, but he moved to block your sight again. “Regulus, what’s going on?” 

“Nothing. You… you don’t want to know, just trust me.” It was more a plea than anything else. 

You took a step back, “Have you been distracting me?”  

Regulus swallowed and then nodded, “I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” You asked, voice dry. 

“I don’t want you to see what’s happening in there.” 

“And…” 

“Your mum might have implied I’d be better this way as well.” 

You nodded, you weren’t angry at Regulus, at this point you understood why he did most of the things he did, and you knew whatever he was doing now, it was because he wanted to protect you from his parents and whatever it was they were doing. 

“Will you tell me what’s happening inside?” 

“Will you promise not to enter if I do?” 

You sighed, “You know I cannot do that, Reg.” 

“It’s dangerous.” 

“Yeah?! For me or for the person screaming?” 

“If you do anything reckless–” 

You squared your shoulders, determined. “Regulus, let me in.” 

He didn’t move. You tried to move to the side and he moved along with you, effectively blocking your way again, you scoffed, slightly exasperated. 

“Regulus, I–” You were interrupted by another harrowing screaming, and then a silence so eerie it chilled your very bones. You looked at him, straight in the eyes, his eyes were red-rimmed and shiny, you were about to ask him what the hell was going on when a cheer erupted from the inside. All of the wizards were clapping, as if whatever had happened was cause for celebration. 

Regulus winced at that which only made you worry more about what was happening inside. 

“You don’t need to see that, trust me,” he repeated. Thunder came from above and then a smokey green skull appeared in the sky. There was a snake protruding from its mouth, slowly swirling around the skull. You swallowed, you knew exactly what that was, Seraphina had shown you pictures, and she had told you that one of the reasons they’d cast that spell was because… they had just murdered a muggle. 

You swallowed thickly, the scream, the silence, the cheering. It all made sense now. They had been tоrturing someone and you had been distracted, you weren’t even given the chance to stop it. But then again, could you have stopped it? One person –nay, a 6th year– against an entire army of deatheaters, you might have been a good duelist, but you weren’t narcissistic enough to believe you could take them all down by yourself

Perhaps it really was better to be out here, avoiding the reality that was inside and hanging out with the one person in this entire party that you’d actually want to talk to. You didn’t appreciate being tricked, you hated that Regulus had decided to keep you in the dark, but at the same time, you were thankful. He had spared you from having to witness whatever horrors were being committed inside. 

You were just a kid, why was it your responsibility to stop it? Why was it your war to fight? It was fucking unfair. 

“Trust me,” Regulus said, “stay here, it’s better this way.” 

You swallowed, and there was another scream, you shut your eyes and turned your gaze to the side, you could feel tears prickling in your eyes. 

“It’s not your fault, you won’t be able to do anything, even if you witness it.” 

You turned back to look at him, your teeth pressed so hard against each other it hurt, “They’re kiIling muggles,” you whispered. 

Regulus sighed, his eyes were just as glassy as yours, “We can’t do anything about it.” 

You huffed and looked at nowhere in particular. There was another scream, and then another one, and then there was silence and cheers. You sank down to the floor, the snake in the sky was still crawling around. Your breath was slow and controlled as if you were trying to keep it together. The first scream, you couldn’t have blamed yourself for it. The first one out? You had no idea. But this one? 

You already knew what was happening and chose to stay outside with Regulus. You chose to ignore it and an innocent had diеd. Were you any different from your father now? He had sacrificed Sirius and Regulus for his political means –and he hadn’t even gotten them kiIled– and now you were letting those innocent people diе. 

For what? To be the perfect daughter? To play the part they asked you to play and then pretend like nothing had happened? To write a letter to Nightshade and Dumbledore telling them everything that had happened tonight and becoming a valuable asset? A spy? Was that what you wanted to be? Was that what you were meant to do? Was it worth it to let all these people diе, in order to win the war in the future? Were lives exchangeable like that? One life for a hundred, does that… make it worth it? 

There was another harrowing scream and then silence and then more cheers. You dug your head on your knees. 

You

Were

Heinous

As much as you considered your father to be.

Was stopping a war, winning a war, any different from the way he coveted power? Was it any difference in doing things for the greater good to doing things for power if the casualties were exactly the same? People were dying, and you were too much of a coward to do anything about it. Hiding behind a mask of righteousness and pretending it was all for the greater good –It was, but it didn’t feel right.

Sacrificing innocents was never okay, not even for the greater good, and yet… you were here, crouching on the floor, and wishing you were somewhere else, wishing you hadn’t heard that first scream, and that Regulus was still telling you about Nox and how good he was in potions and so on. You wanted to feel like things were normal, like there wasn’t a war; like you were a normal teen, not one being trained to be a soldier, a spy, a warrior.  

Was it selfish to wish for all of this to go away? To wish to be elsewhere? Were you selfish? And if you were then, for what? 

For letting innocents diе or for wishing you were ignorant about it? 

There it was, the eerie silence again. And then a wicked laugh. “Would you look at that? the little witch has claws?” 

The what she said?

 You turned your head to Regulus and the look he gave you in return made you instantly know that whatever was going on inside was as much of a surprise to him as it was to you. 

“Reg wha– What does she mean by witch?” 

“I–” he stuttered and turned to look back, there wasn’t much he could see, except for Bella’s black hair bouncing around as she said something else. “I’m not sure but–” 

“Filthy mudblood!” the same voice roared and then there were screams. 

But there was something about those screams, they were different from the rest… And not because it was a witch but because… you gasped when the realisation hit you –you knew that person.

“Nina,” you whispered. 

“What?” Regulus asked, confused. 

“That’s Nina!” you repeated as you stood up and tried to get inside. 

Regulus squared his shoulders to block your path, and then gently placed his hand on your arm, “There’s nothing you can do, forget it.” 

“They have kilIed muggles, Regulus. What’s stopping them from doing the same thing to her?” 

Regulus shook his head, “You cannot intervene, even if you know her.” 

“Even if I– Regulus, Nina’s my friend! Like you, like James! I would intervene for you, even if it did nothing.” 

“It would be stupid,” he replied, there were tears in his eyes, you could tell his mental struggle ran as deep as yours.  

“If it were me, would you just wait and let me diе?” 

Regulus closed his mouth, looking down while not being able to give you an answer. You weren’t sure you wanted to hear it either way. 

“Let me through, please.” 

“I wouldn’t let you diе,” he said, panic filling his voice, he felt like he had to reassure you, he wasn’t the evil one here, he just wanted to protect you. “But I’ve known you for years, you’re my brother’s girlfriend, it’s different,” his voice was filled with panic. 

“It’s not different for me,” you said as you shook your head, a sombre tone adorning your words. 

“I can’t let you go in,” he replied, his voice breaking towards the end. “I’m sorry.” 

You pulled him into a hug, you could sense him relax into your hug the second you did. She understands, he thought. 

 “I’m sorry too,” you whispered with a sad smile, he didn’t have enough time to react, “Petrificus totalus.” 

You caught him as he fell, his entire body leaning onto yours as you tried to hold him from hitting the ground. Regulus was a lot heavier than he looked but you managed to open the door again and drag him back inside. You smiled awkwardly at the person who spotted the two of you and lifted the bottle as an excuse. If they thought Reggie was passed out drunk, they wouldn’t think you’d charmed him to get in. The person nodded as if completely understanding and you dragged Reggie to a chair. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, accommodating him to look asleep. 

And then you walked as fast as you could towards her screams. 

It took all your strength not to break down at the sight, there were people –not people, their bodies– on the floor. They weren’t covered with bIood or anything like that, it wasn’t gory, it was just… harrowing. At least 7 of them, all of them on the floor, horrified expressions on their faces. They probably had no idea why they were there and had been hexed and tоrtured till the light escaped his eyes.

The scene enraptured you so much the screams in the background almost faded out, especially when you saw someone you instantly recognized. The lady at Kings Cross, the one that had hugged Nina, she was there too, you sobbed. You had allowed that to happen, you had allowed them to kilI Nina’s mum because you were too scared to intervene. 

“Crucio!” you heard the woman scream again. 

You turned your face away from them and towards the turmoil, there were many people crowding around her and Nina, so many that you could barely see the top of her blonde hair, and the only reason you knew Nina was still there was because of her screams. You spotted Tom, Arkalis and the man you now knew as Rodolphus Lestrange all sitting and chatting at a faraway table as if none of it was happening. Tom would often turn to see what was going on, smile and then go back to the conversation with a pleased expression.  

You shuddered and tried to find a way through the people. You had to push a few wizards around and got an angry elbow shoved in the rib at some point but you pressed on. Eventually, you reached the edge of the circle, and you had to hold back the tears threatening to spill out as your young friend squirmed, her long hair sprawled all over the floor, and tears in her eyes. She had her mouth determinedly closed and her brows furrowed, she was trying to resist screaming again, all to avoid giving the woman the satisfaction. 

“I’ll find a way to help you,” you mumbled as you looked around for possible solutions. If you had had more time perhaps you could have used a mist bomb to create a commotion, if you had more time to think of a solution, perhaps you would have burned the curtains down with incendio or caused some other kind of distraction to drive people away from Nina and sneak her out. But you had no time, and your mind was filled with the stress of seeing poor Nina on the floor, with that heart-wrenching expression on her face, and the soft whimpers that she couldn’t help but let out as she continued holding her cries and the woman with curly hair twisted her wand to inflict more pain. 

If you had acted earlier, if you hadn’t let fear and cowardice drive you away from the incident, perhaps things wouldn’t have ended up the way they had, but you had been selfish, and you were now facing the consequences of your own decisions, them being mainly the mental strain and the stupidity of the action you were about to commit. 

“CRUCIO!” the woman shrieked again. “Come on luv, don’t be shy, we want to hear your cries.” 

She twisted her wand and Nina let out an agonising cry. This can’t continue, she’s not gonna last. 

“Come on little mudblood, cry louder!” the woman said, enjoying herself so much you felt like you wanted to puke. “Entertain us!”

You stepped forward, “Stop!” You shouted. 

The woman turned to you and, surprised you had spoken and twisted her wand again, Nina cried, but the moment she spotted you, there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes. 

You raised your wand at her, “I said STOP!” 

“Silas’ daughter?” she asked, clearly diverted. “Thought you were snogging my little cousin Regulus somewhere in a corner.” 

You held her gaze, “Last warning,” you added. 

She laughed haughtily in return, “You think you could do anything to me? What are you? A 4th year?”

You were so focused on the woman and Nina, that you weren’t paying attention to the things surrounding you, at least you had gotten her attention enough to have her stop torturing Nina, who was now struggling to catch her breath. 

In the far corner, Orion and Tom had turned to look at the scene with a perturbing interest, as if they wanted to see the bIoodshed that your stupid disobedience would cause. Evan had gripped onto Barty’s forearm and pulled him away from the circle and both of your parents were rushing towards you as fast as you could, but the crowd, which seemed just as interested in the situation, was making it harder for them to reach you. 

“None of your fucking business,” you replied. She turned her wand back to Nina and you stepped in her way in two long strides, she laughed again. 

“You’re a Gryffindor, aren’t you? There’s no way a Slytherin would be so recklessly stupid.” 

“Let her go,” you said sternly. “She’s a witch, just like you.” 

The woman laughed again. “She’s as much of a witch as the rest of them,” she said with a smile and pointed at the pile of bodies behind her, “Muggle-borns are abominations that shouldn’t exist. So weak they need real wizards to defend them, don’t they, Luv?” She said the last bit looking at Nina, she was still on the ground, eyes shiny with unshed tears but she held her head high. 

“I’m only making things even,” you replied, “do you really feel superior when you need thirty-plus wizards for torturing a 14-year-old?” 

The woman scoffed, “Do you even know who you’re talking to?” 

“No, but I bet I can guess,” you replied. “Dark curly hair, pretty but dеadly, a little crazy –I assume due to inbreeding– and you were sitting next to Rodolphus, which makes you one of Cygnus’ daughters. I met Narcissa today, and you’re definitely not Andromeda, which leaves out… Saiph? No wait, wrong star, it’s Bella, isn’t it?” 

She gave you a deranged smile, “Bellatrix.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you responded. “Now let’s leave this nonsense behind, and–” 

“Crucio,” she said pointing her wand behind you, Nina cried again. 

“Stop!” you shrieked. “Confringo!”

Bella barely managed to stop your spell and turned to you with rage, “Can someone take care of her?” she asked to no one in particular. Suddenly there were several wands pointing your way, but no one cast a spell. No one was brave enough to attack Silas’ daughter directly. 

Bella smiled and pointed her wand towards you, “Expelliarmus,” she said with a smile, your wand left your hand faster than you could react. 

She gave you a wicked grin as she pointed her wand at Nina again. She looked like she couldn’t take another moment of it, and you were running out of ideas. “Stop! I have a better prey for you.” 

Your father said your name sternly as if he could read your thoughts. 

You ignored it completely, “Why bother with a muggle-born when you could be torturing someone who’s mixed-race.” 

Your father screamed your name again, but Bella seemed interested enough to lower her wand and look at you, she wanted to know whose life you’d propose instead of Nina’s. 

“A mixed-race you said? Whoever could that be?” 

“Me!” you said and took a short breath, “I’m part-fairy.” Several gasps echoed in the room followed by whispers of the crowd.

“She’s lying!” your father spat.

“I am not!” You added quickly. 

“She’s trying to buy time.” 

“I can prove it!” you said desperately. “Use diffindo,” you told one of the people next to you. 

“Do not dare to touch my daughter!” your father roared. 

You looked around, trying to find Barty or Evan, since you knew neither of them would think twice before hurting you, but they were nowhere to be seen. Worst time to be fucking absent, you thought. No one dared to do it. 

“Fine then, bunch of cowards,” you said looking around before bringing your arm to your mouth. You had never done this, but you had practised half transfigurations, you focused all your energy on your mouth and managed to turn your canines into Vixen’s, and then you bit onto your skin and dragged your arm, slicing through it, you didn’t even wince. 

“That proves nothing,” Your father said. He was still trying to reach where you were.

“No, it doesn’t,” you responded. You could feel the metallic taste of your bIood in your mouth, you wondered if you looked as deranged as Bella did now. “But this will,” you said and focused your gaze on the cut you’d made, “Revelio.” 

A single drop of bIood fell from your arm, everyone witnessed it change colour and clash onto the ground in a shiny, silver drop. There was another collective gasp. Bellatrix cackled and your father looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite pinpoint, a mix of desperation, rage and disappointment.

“Well, well, well,” a voice boomed from the back of the room, “what an interesting little plot twist.” The crowd parted to allow the dark lord to walk towards the centre of the room, he seemed pleasantly entertained. “Silas,” he said as he turned to your dad calmly. “Anything you care to explain?” 

You turned to your father, being thankful that everyone’s attention had turned the other way, and looking for someone distracted enough for you to do your next move. 

Your father was about to say something but was quickly interrupted by your mother, “He didn’t know! I lied to him.” 

Your head snapped back towards them, Why is she–? 

“Is that true? Silas?” 

Your father stood straighter, looking indifferent. “I had no idea,” he lied blatantly, “I wouldn’t be married if I did.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit–” 

“Silence child,” you were interrupted by the dark lord who was staring at your dad with interest, he hadn’t said the words to the spell, but your tongue was tied, and you couldn’t emit a word anymore either, “the adults are talking.” 

You moved towards them when you realised you wouldn’t be able to speak. “Incarcerus,” Tom’s voice boomed and a set of ropes appeared from thin air, binding you to the spot you were currently on. His spell was much stronger than Evan’s had been, it was as if the more you moved the more the ropes tightened around your arms, digging into your skin sharply. Tom turned to your mother. “Elaborate.” 

“I met him, I knew he wouldn’t like me if he knew of my heritage so I lied and hid it from him.” 

“Well, I find this is the perfect little set-up for you to prove your loyalty,” Tom said with a simple smile. “Torture her.” 

What? You thought, head snapping towards your mother sharply, forgetting about the ropes entirely. 

Your mother and father exchanged a look, your mom nodded, almost imperceptibly, and then your father raised his wand against her, “Crucio.” 

There was a wicked laugh from Bellatrix as your mother sank to the ground and started screaming. You stared at the scene as if petrified. If there was something you had never doubted in the past, it was the love your parents had for each other. How could he– how was it even…

You turned back to the ropes and started to desperately fight against them. When you realised it wasn’t working you went for plan B, you turned into Vixen and jumped as fast as possible, snatching a random wizard’s wand from their hands as you turned back. 

Of all the terrible ideas you’d had today, this might have been the worst. You barely had enough control over the spell with your own wand, but you had to do something. You took a deep breath and pointed your wand at Bellatrix, “Pestis Incendium.” 

A giant fire exploded out of the tip of the wand you had stolen, prompting the people around you to step back several metres as the fire turned into a massive Chimera. Fiendfyre was a dark and dangerous spell, and you had only practised it in a controlled environment with Nightshade watching your back. But the Chimera you had formed now was bigger and angrier than anything you’d ever created, she was dеadly. The massive winged lion-goat was burning everything in its way as people ran to the sides and attempted to apparate the hell away from the room. 

But Evan’s house was charmed against apparitions, a few of them were caught in the fire as they attempted to run, others tried to fight against it, with water spells, but they seemed to do nothing against the angry beast you’d created. The heat quickly filled the room, smoke from burning things wafting through the air and making it harder to see. You searched for your mother, but you couldn’t spot her at all, so you turned back to Nina who was looking at you with an awed struck expression. You picked up a wand from the floor and handed it over to her before helping her up and casting a disillusionment charm around the two of you. 

“We need to get out,” you whispered, as you grabbed onto her hand and pulled her along with you. You sped through the running crowds as the curtains and furniture started to catch on fire and remembered you had left Regulus petrified. 

You ran towards him, pulling Nina alongside you and finding him still unconscious in the place you’d left him. “Finite Incantatem!” you said and Regulus opened his eyes hastily. He looked around confused and opened his eyes wide when he spotted the giant Chimera behind you, being even more confused when it completely ignored him and turned to the other side. You grabbed onto his arm, leaving traces of bIood over his white shirt, “Get out!” 

“What?” he asked, confused. 

“I won’t be able to control it for much longer, get out!” you repeated and pushed him towards the window before you pulled Nina to the side again. 

She used her wand and started hexing people as you sped through the crowd and toward the window behind the snack area. If you could reach the hedge maze, you’d have enough time to think of a better way to get the hell away from there. 

Finally, you spotted your mum again, she was right in front of the Chimera, using relashio in an attempt to slow her down. You raised your want towards your fiendfyre to drag it away from her but there was a spell cast in your direction. 

“Stupefy!” Bellatrix said as you fell to the ground, you lost control over the Chimera completely and the beast used one of its paws to crush your mother. You could hear your father’s scream ringing in your ears alongside yours, followed by a sob as tears welled up in your eyes. Bellatrix smiled, “Well, well, well, would you look at that, one little fae gone, and one to go,” she said as she pointed her wand towards you. 

You were on the floor, still trying to get a grasp of the situation and attempting to gain control over the Chimera again but it was pointless, she was doing whatever she wanted. Bellatrix smiled and raised her wand towards you, “Avada–” 

“Crucio,” Nina shrieked next to you, and Bellatrix instantly fell to the ground, with a cry. Nina’s curse was so strong that the woman continued to scream madly as she pulled onto her hair. “CRUCIO!” Nina repeated. You looked at her in amazement and she gave you a half smile, fear hidden behind her eyes. “She’s not going to touch you ever again,” she reassured and extended her hand your way, you took it and she helped you up. “Ferrum Incarcerus,” she said and suddenly a set of chains bound Bellatrix Lestrange, “Flagrante,” she said next and the woman started to cry in pain as the chains started to heat up and burn. “Call me a Mudblood again, you bitch!” Nina spat, and you recast the disillusionment charm around the both of you. 

Clutching to each other you walked all the way to the snack table “Bombarda!” you shouted, the window blew into pieces, and your Chimera went wild, growing wider and wider. You looked back once more, Bellatrix was still crying over the chains. There was a tall man, Cygnus, you assumed, trying to help her out of them, but Nina’s spell was strong and whatever he was doing wasn’t working properly. 

You spotted your father clutching the burned remnants of your mom and you stared at the scene almost petrified. You had done that, you had murdered her. 

Nina looked at you with tears in her eyes and decided to avoid staring at the pile where she knew her mother’s body would be, focusing on you, and on getting the hell away from that damned hellhole you’d ended up in. 

“Come on,” she pulled onto your arm. “We have to go, come on!” 

“That–” you said, still looking, the Chimera was bigger now, angrier. “They’re gone.” 

“I know,” she said somberly, but then the urgency came back to her, “Come on, they’d want us to get out!” she added as she pulled onto your arm again, this time much stronger, you didn’t move at all. “Hey, look at me!” she added and grabbed your head in between her hands to force you to look at her, Nina might have been younger, but she seemed so much wiser than you at that moment. “This is awful. Things are awful, and it’s unfair. But two things are true: It was not your fault, and we need to get out.” 

You tilted your head to the side, she didn’t know, she didn’t know you had ignored her mother’s cries. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, what a terrible person you were. “Okay,” you managed to say and allowed Nina to pull you alongside her and both of you managed to exit through the window. 

The cold was the first thing you noticed, white snow melting into puddles close to the house due to the fire. Messy mud on the floor making the pristine white layer of snow look brown and messy.

There were already Wizards outside, Regulus stood next to his mother and Narcissa, who kept looking inside as if waiting for someone to come out as well. Reggie too was looking around nervously, the last time he saw you, you were still inside and things were chaos. 

You took a small stone and threw it towards him, when he turned around you said “Vermillious,” and from the tip of the wand you had stolen, faint red sparks appeared. People weren’t looking your way, and they had been so faint that they were nothing in comparison to the amount of light that came from your blazing Fiendfyre, but you saw Regulus smile and nod your way. You turned to Nina, somehow much more composed than seconds ago. “You like puzzles, don’t you?” you asked her as you nodded towards the hedge maze. 

She smiled and gave you a nod, “Let’s get out of here,” she added, and the two of you walked inside. You ran through the maze, staying as close to each other as possible, and jumping from dеad end to dеad end. It truly was a headache, but Nina was as determined to get out as you were, so you followed her lead and continued walking behind her. 

“We can’t be too far from the way out, the magic stopping us from apparating is losing power the deeper we go, can you feel it?” 

“Yes,” you replied with a smile, and end to the nightmare, finally. 

“You can apparate already, right?” 

“Kind of,” you replied. “I mean, yes,” you reassured, you’d figure out a way, you’d both get out, you had to.

“Finite incantatem,” someone said when you rounded a corner, and both you and Nina raised your wands against him.

“Would you look at that, charming little butterfly and her mudblood friend,” The man said with a wicked smile, his silver hair flowing behind him. “You really thought you’d get away after causing so much havoc? My fiancé’s father is dеad because of your little ruse.” 

“Obscuro,” you spat, ignoring his remark and going straight for defence.

“Protego,” he returned. “Stupefy!” 

You blocked his spell with practised ease. “Nina behind me!” you said with determination, “Depulso!” 

He blocked as well, “Confringo!” 

You ducked and pulled Nina alongside you to the ground. His spell went straight to one of the hedges and things started to heat up, quite literally. The snow surrounding the area behind you melted and mixed with the dirt beneath, making mud similar to the one just outside the house. 

Lucius taunted and attacked with increasing ferocity, while you fought desperately to defend both yourself and Nina. Spells flew back and forth, lighting up the night with bursts of magic. With each passing moment, the intensity of the duel escalated, fueled by adrenaline and desperation. 

There was constant shouting and blocking. The more time passed and the more time you stood your ground against the man, the angrier he seemed to become. And you were tired, the amount of magic you had used up to conjure the Fiendfyre and the fact that she was still distracting and burning things back at the house, even if out of your control, was draining your energy –and magic– at worrying speeds. 

Combining that with the charred image of your mother that you desperately tried to bury in the back of your mind, you felt closer and closer to losing your grip and concentration, but you refused to give in, if there was something that you were, even in cases of life and dеath, was stubborn. 

“Getting tired, butterfly?” he asked with a cocky smile when he noticed you had almost tripped on a spell. 

“Opugno!” you responded, ignoring his taunting. Suddenly the branches of the hedges seemed to come alive as they went straight to get him.

“Deprimo!” he shouted before the spell hit him, and the floor started to shake, both you and Nina managed to step out of the way, on time, but the hole in the ground had now trapped the two of you in a dеad end. 

“Reparo!” you shouted, your previous spell had been strong enough to distract him while you attempted to build the ground back up so you could continue. 

“Impedimenta!” he shouted, and you were locked in place. When did he even get out of the hedges?

You tried to focus on shaking the charm off while he pointed his wand at you again. You were tired, but you had fought against Nightshade’s impedimenta several times before, and Lucius’ curse was much weaker. Despite that, the amount of magic you had already used had debilitated you and it seemed to require even more concentration than it had done in the past. That didn’t make it impossible. 

You were just getting a grip on the knot of magic that seemed to lock you in place when Lucius smiled, still bound by the hedges but gloating at the way you struggled. 

“Stupefy Maxima!” he shouted. You braced yourself to receive the spell, but instead, you felt a push from the side and ended up cornered against one of the hedges as Nina fell to the ground right in front of you. 

“Nina!” you shouted and dropped to the ground next to her in an instant, then you saw another spell leave his wand. You stared at the red bolt coming straight at you with watery eyes, thinking of all the things you wouldn’t be able to do, of all the things Nina wouldn’t be able to do because you had failed to save her. Anger and sorrow filled your thoughts as you stared at dеath straight in the eyes. 

But she didn’t stare back.

Instead, there was a bright, blinding light that lasted no more than half a second, and Lucius was thrown back against one of the hedges. It was as if his wand had backfired the spell on him. You stared at the scene confused, your bafflement increasing only when you spotted Barty Crouch shooting a stunning spell in Lucius’ direction. 

You turned back to Nina as the two of them fought the other, “Nina,” you said softly as you placed your hands around her face, her cheeks were cold but there was something gooey and warm behind her hair. As you pulled your hand back to look at it better you realised what it was. You shook your head and as you stared. “No, no, no, no...” you repeated over and over again as you leaned down only to realise she had fallen onto a sharp rock. “No, no… Nina, look at me,” you said, voice wavering. 

Her weary gaze turned to you, her eyelids were heavy and tired, but she smiled faintly when she saw you. “You’re okay,” she sighed. 

“No, no, no,” you repeated, tears already blurring your sight as you stared at her. 

“Go!” she said softly, reassuringly. 

“No!” you said again, voice cracking near the end. 

She nodded soothingly, “It’s okay, you have to go.” 

“Nina, please!” you begged. “We can do something, we can find a way to–” 

“Go,” she interrupted you calmly, more secure now. “You’re all right,” she said and smiled, “I can go happy knowing you’ll be alright.” 

“You can’t! I won’t leave, not without you,” you replied stubbornly, shaking your head as you said it.

“You can’t stop her now, the bargain’s made, the deal’s done,” she said simply. 

“No, please,” you said as you leaned onto her chest and allowed the tears to stream down your face, the girl somehow managed to place her hand over your hair and played with some of the strands with the little strength she had left. 

“You know… I’ve been bles-sed,” she said, her breath caught in her throat. “Blessed that you were the last thing I got to see,” she added with a smile, “thank you for saving me.” 

You felt her hand go limp over your head and you heard the last beat of her heart boom against your ear. “No!” you cried and stood back up to look at her. She had a pleased and peaceful expression on her face, contrasting completely with her stained blonde hair, and the rapidly changing colour of snow, no longer white, but scarlet. “Rennervate,” you said pointing the wand at her. Nothing. “Rennervate,” you repeated, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Rennervate, Rennervate, Rennervate.” 

“Stop it!” you heard Barty say from behind you. 

“Rennervate!” you said again, completely disregarding the boy. 

“Hey! You need to get out of here, people are coming.” 

“I don’t care!” You snapped. And turned back “RENNERVATE!” 

“You’re going to diе too! Her sacrifice would be for nothing!” 

“Go to hell!” You responded. You felt him trying to pull you away from her. “Get your filthy hands off me!” 

“Re- rennervate,” you repeated, it was more a whisper than anything else, a desperate cry, a futile attempt to cling onto something that wasn’t there anymore, that wouldn’t be there no matter what you did. Perhaps you had used up your magic, it was a stunning spell, not a kiIling curse. 

But it had also been the fall, and the rock.  

“Listen to me!” Barty said as he hauled you up by pushing you against one of the hedges. “She’s gone, and if you don’t move, you’ll be the same! Your stupid spell will do nothing to bring her back!”

“She’s my friend!” you shouted angrily as you tried to pry his hands away from your arms. But Barty was still stronger than you. “She’s my friend, and she’s struggling because of me. I won’t give up on her!” 

“THERE IS NOTHING TO GIVE UP ON! SHE’S FUCKING DЕAD!” 

Rage filled your gaze as you managed to focus on him again, you tried to push him off of you again, this time with much more determination. When he realised, he smiled and loosened his grip. 

“What?” you asked in disbelief. 

“Wrath is more useful than desperation,” he retorted. “You need to get out of here.” 

You gave one last look at Nina, her pleased expression made her look as if she was sleeping, soft and simple and happy. Could you trick your brain into thinking she was just sleeping if you tried hard enough? 

You turned back to Barty wearily, “Why– why are you helping me?” you asked with a wavering voice, emotions raw and unfiltered at this point. 

“Evan told me what you did for him. He’s taking care of Lucius and I’m much better at apparating than him.” 

You swallowed, distrusting, and turned to the side, Evan was indeed in the distance, performing some kind of spell on the man that had murdered Nina. Your mind was spinning with conflicting emotions. You wanted to lash out, to scream and rage against the unfairness of it all. But there was no use, Nina was dеad and no matter how much you cried about it, you wouldn’t bring her back.

“Look! If it makes you feel better you can hit me–” His words were cut short as your fist connected to his face. “Fuck! I’m trying to help you!” he winced as he reached for his nose. Your fist stung, but clearly, his face did just as much. 

“You’ve been an asshole to me for months.” 

“And I’m trying to do a good deed, bIoody hell!” he replied with a frown, you glared in return. “Come on, we need to get out.” 

“I don’t want to!” You said in a stubborn whisper, you wanted to lean against her and cry until the snow covered both of your bodies and you could forget about it all. 

“But she wanted you to,” he replied, there was bIood streaming down his nose, but there was an honesty in his gaze that you didn’t think Barty was capable of. “Allow me to help make her last wish true.” 

You swallowed, giving the boy one more weary look, “Can you try?” 

“Try?” he asked, confused. He was trying.  

“To save her.” 

“It’s pointless, if you couldn’t do it–” 

“My magic’s weak,” you admitted, despite yourself, it didn’t matter anymore, you didn’t care if Barty or Evan used it against you as long as Nina came back. 

The boy sighed, clearly thinking it was pointless, but leaned down next to Nina either way “Rennervate!” he said steadily.

Seconds passed by, agonisingly slow but nothing happened.

You let out a defeated breath, your mind was suddenly empty. You realised if you didn’t want to end up like her, you’d have to pull yourself together somehow. Barty tried again, even if you didn’t ask him, but the result was the same. You placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Fine, let’s get out,” you said with a nod. Barty stood up and you tighten your grip around the wand you were holding, taking in a deep breath before pointing it at Nina. “Papilioscorpus,” you said, focusing all of your attention on that one spell.

Suddenly Nina’s body transformed into a heap of small blue butterflies. You held back the sob that threatened to escape by sucking in a breath as the small creatures broke off Nina’s body, one by one until there was no more of her, but hundreds of them. 

How unfair it was, that Nina had to diе because she wasn’t a pureblood, you thought, even if Nina would disagree. She didn’t diе because she wasn’t a pureblood wizard, she didn’t diе because they tortured her to dеath, she didn’t diе weak and defenceless and in despair, you had spared her from that fate. No, Nina diеd to save you, and she was pleased with the choice she’d made, simply because she wouldn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist. 

They flew up, circling you for a second before continuing their path, way above the hedges, and leaving behind the bIoodstained snow in search of somewhere warm. 

Barty turned to you with a soft expression and then raised his wand to the butterflies, “Irascor,” he said simply. A protective charm, so they would be safe, even if Nina hadn’t been. 

“Thank you,” you managed to mumble, as you saw them leave, not allowing yourself to wallow in the hopelessness you felt at such a stunningly beautiful sight. The snow-covered landscape, the stars shining above in the sky, the small snowflakes falling softly on the ground, all contrasted deeply with how you felt, how broken and in pain you were. You blinked back the tears and turned back to him. 

He nodded and cocked his head to the side, indicating you to follow him. It was slow at first, steps into a different direction, away from the bIood, now being covered by a fresh layer of snow, away from Evan and unconscious Lucius. 

Eventually, Barty started to pick up speed and you matched his pace, a welcome heat to the cold that had now chilled your bones. The dress you had, while long-sleeved, wasn’t exactly snow-friendly. Your heels long forgotten, left as you took faster and faster steps. The white cool of snow against your heels, helping you focus on anything other than all the previous events. 

Barty seemed to know exactly where he was going, and you followed him blindly. The traces of your steps had been long erased by the constant falling snow. If he was leading you to safety or back to the house, what difference did it make at this point? 

But then you felt it: the barriers against apparating were gone. “Where should I take you?” He asked softly, softer than you’d expect him to, the two of you breathing heavily as you tried to catch your breath. 

You blinked, looking around like a lost puppy. You had no mother, your father was a deatheater or something, and your home was probably not yours anymore –not that it had felt like one in the last few years. “I have nowhere to go,” you said the words as you realised their weight. 

Barty sighed, he knew what it was like to not belong. To feel lonely and forgotten and like he had to be outstanding to be cared for, to be worthy. He knew what it was to have no place to call home, but he had Evan now. He knew what that felt like, and for the first time since he’d met you, he empathised with you. “Sirius?” he offered, he might not like him, but he knew Sirius was as special to you as Evan was to him.

“He’s with the Potters, you cannot apparate there, you don’t know where it is… It would be too dangerous, for the both of us,” you said steadily, emotionlessly, trying to cling to your analytical side. If you blocked the emotions threatening to boil out of you, if you hid them so deep within your mind that they wouldn’t bother you then perhaps you’d be able to keep moving. 

“Secret hideout?” 

“I–” then you remembered. “School! Take me to Hogwarts!” 

“You can’t apparate there…” he said with a frown. Hogwarts was a brilliant idea though, it would certainly be safer.

“No, but, you can apparate on the Shrieking Shack! You’ve done it before.” 

“You want me to take you back, there?” he asked, disbelief laced in his tone.

“Yeah!” you said with a confident nod. 

“Are you… sure?” he asked again, perhaps the emotional toll of the night was getting to you. 

“Yes! I can get to the castle from there,” you repeated. 

He looked at you as if analysing the situation, you seemed pretty sure of yourself, so he nodded, grabbing onto your arm and pulling you closer, Barty was as tall as you, still growing, so you assumed he’d be taller. You ended up hugging each other in the most awkward way possible (a weird sort of hug where neither of you seemed to want to touch each other) before he apparated just outside the shack. 

You felt a sense of relief when you spotted the snow-coated building. You had made it this far, against all odds. But was it worth it? With how much it had cost? 

Barty gave you one last look, “Can I have the wand?” he asked in a relatively polite tone as he pointed to the wand in your hand. He was being considerate, even for his standards.

“Pardon?” You asked as your grip on the wand tightened. 

“I’m going to say I tried to stop you but you apparated away, you’re talented for your age so it’s believable enough. Evan is obliviating Lucius. We’ll try to get your actual wand back–” 

“Nina’s,” you said as you handed him the one in your hand. He frowned. “Get Nina’s wand, it’s more important.” 

“Why?” 

“I can buy another wand, but she… she can’t,” you said, trying not to let your features betray the emotions you felt. 

“But it’ll be useless to–” You gave him a mix between a pleading look and a glare, and he stopped his words, “we’ll try,” he conceded.

You smiled weakly, “Thanks.” He was about to leave. “Wait!” you stopped him, a hand on his shoulder, he turned to you, movements soft and calm, he knew you were on edge. “Priori incantatem, they will know you tried to bring Nina back if they check.” 

“Give me the wand,” you said and he did as told. “Now take it.” 

“Expelliarmus,” he said and the wand you had stolen flew from your hand to his, he caught it in the air with ease. It was surprising how fast he’d caught on to what you meant, but you already knew Barty was brilliant, even if he used said brilliance for evil deeds more often than not. 

“And now stun me.” 

“What? Are you daft? I’m trying to save you,” he protested with a frown.

“And this is my way of thanking you, you put up a fight against me. Stun me softly if you will–” 

“Stupefy!” 

Your body reeled back against the gate and ended up on the floor. It had been soft, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Either way, the physical pain was a welcome distraction from the grief that threatened to consume you whole. 

“Payback for punching me in the face,” Barty said with a smile as he offered his hand. He was joking. 

You scoffed and pushed his hand away, deciding that sitting on the snow was comfortable enough. “Get the hell out before I punch you again.” 

His smile only grew wider and he had the nerve to send you a wink before he apparated again. You stared at the empty space he’d left for a while, there was snow all around. Falling and falling in a stunningly, slumbery sort of way. So peaceful and quiet in comparison to how loud and hectic things had been just seconds ago. Even your heartbeat, which had been blasting against your ears, was slowing down. 

You stared at the cold white snow, and let your head fall back onto the gate as one of your hands fell on it, pulling some of it up and staring at the way it fell from your fingers lazily. You remembered playing in the snow with the boys, how happy you had been that day, you wondered if you could ever be that happy again. 

Ah… how tired did you feel, things were calm now, you weren’t in danger anymore, you sank deeper into the ground, adrenaline dissipating with ease and exhaustion washing over you in waves. You closed and opened your eyes wearily. 

The shack, why did you have to get to the shack? You wondered, everything was so peaceful where you were, you liked it, the cold of the snow soothingly numbing the pain, all the pain, not just the physical one. You let a faint smile coat your lips, who’s that in the distance? You wondered, it looked like someone you knew, but paler. Could it be… Nina? 

And then you closed your eyes. 

And so we grace another table And raise our glasses one more time There's a face at the window And I ain't never, never sayin' goodbye…

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

TAGLIST: @rayrlupin @callmelovergirl @warcelia @ireneop @endversewinchester @moonyunebi @smuttysluttybitch @mazzymoons @drugs-for-memes @sofiacblair @vmpir3lvr @remuslupinisbae @rabluver @willgrahamisalesbi4n @thatobsessedreader  @itskailey24 @hell0-kittie @belovedmoony @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @zucchini-queenie @springflwer07 @sseleniaa @cometsghost @orkwardx0 @imdoingbetternow  @sbrewer21 @remuslupinsbae @maxinehufflepuffprincess @wifiatthetrainstation @unstablereader @somewereinthegalaxi @msblacklupin @oliversaurus @jaylienpotter @remussbitch @hermionelove @izuoyarmin @themarauderswife7 @keira-kaz2y5 @lampthemacarenagod @bugg06 @a-n-1-m-3-f-r-3-4-k @darlingeels @kissmeunicornbaobei @xluansstuff @boo8008 @angelmixer @voteforintensedreams @allons-y-molly @aremuslupinsimp @imaginexred @writingshae @nyanwyn @poetrypirate @crazyhorseforgot @saturnhas82moons @ryeyeyer @mothraantics @maqqiekwon @desikudisworld

Leave a comment telling me if you wanna be tagged on Gilded Constellations

Want to support me? Like and reblog this post (reblogs are extra nice since they help me get my work to more people), also guys, I absolutely love reading your comments, so do throw them my way if you have any!

A/N: This chapter is getting shadowbanned no matter what I change so please like, reblog and comment so it does not go under the radar. They're only flyin' too close to the sun

Read more Marauders Fiction

#marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #moony #padfoot #prongs #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius x you #sirius x y/n #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus x reader #remus one shot #sirius black one shot #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x you #sirius black x fem!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #moony x reader #moony x padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #moony x you #gilded constellations

[ykiwrite]

one day

description: wednesday caught you planning out your entire future in sims 4

warnings: just fluff, sims 4

words: ~1.1k

Homework? Done.

Dorm? Spotless.

On top of that, it was Friday night. Your roommate left an hour ago to god knows where. More precisely, they sneaked out in full trust you won't tell a soul.

To be honest, who would even rely on you in case something happened if they saw you like this? You're most likely last resort when it comes to a witness, especially on dark nights such as this one.

In case Nevermore happens to have an accident on Friday, you're off the list.

Way too smitten with your laptop and a horrendous posture on the chair, you took a sip of the freshly made black tea. The one that will hopefully do justice in keeping you awake for the next hours into this session.

Sims session.

Given that you don't have the most ideal conditions to have a complete gaming setup or multiple games to pick from, you had to survive on a laptop for now.

Waiting for the screen to load left you in silence. One dark entity paid a visit in your mind as per usual. You haven't seen Wednesday since this morning's class. Ever since Yoko dragged her away the second class finished, she was off the radar.

It crossed your mind how Enid mentioned her Friday plans with Ajax. Relationship and lovey-dovey plans your girlfriend would, without a doubt, gladly steer clear of.

You almost reached for your phone but retraced your steps. Most likely scenario is the one where Enid and Ajax are both shamelessly kicked out of the dorm while Wednesday works on the novel.

The only scenario sadly.

As much as you'd like to spend some quality time alone together, away from everyone, you let her be. Not wanting to bother the peace she finds in the process of writing.

An hour into the precise and thoughtful decorating of the house, you stretched your legs on your way to find a potential candidate for a midnight snack.

A few strictly followed one by another knocks on the door and you already recognized the pattern.

"Come in!" You whisper yelled for the other side.

Wednesdays presence that was oddly soothing to be around was hardly visible if it weren't for the full moon nested behind you. Others would be petrified to death by the sight but not you.

Not expecting to see her this late awake, you scoffed, "It's past your bedtime Addams. What are you doing this late?"

Unimpressed by the joke, she crossed her hands together. Rather than making a snappy comment back at you, she watched you rummage through the drawer. Ever so adamant about finding something to bite on.

What really drew her attention was the radiant screen on the other side of the room. She was familiar with your passion for technology and as much as she claims it's brainwashing, it piqued her curiosity.

"I hope you don't mind me asking what are you doing this late awake?" she said walking towards the table.

"Oh you know me, i was-" you stood up so quickly and whipped your head towards her fast enough to break your neck.

You were definitely not ready to have this conversation with her.

With a fast pace you ran over to block her view of the screen. Best move you could come up with was to close it and make filmsy excuse.

It won't fly past by Wednesday but it's better than her coming across your fictional Sims life and future house you've been dedicated to. That would scar her for life. Forbid looking that far into the future.

Your plan, however, was foreseen by Wednesday when she stopped your hand from doing so.

Intrigued expression of hers was met with your caught-red-handed one. She had no intentions of letting you walk away.

Her raised brow acted as a question, making you sigh.

"I was just playing a game. You know that's nothing new for me," you gulped nervously.

She kept reading your expression up and down before opening the half-closed screen.

Her eyes scrunched in confusion the second she saw two people resembling the two of you. One was an uncanny copy of the black-haired girl with dark aura while the other was strikingly you.

Not able to take any more of this silence, you broke it "So..."

"Is this me?" sounded unintentionally comic.

"I think it's pretty giving, yes. It's..." you let the breath you were holding out and rubbed your temples, "it's us actually."

Glancing over at you with unchanged bafflement, you continued to smooth it out.

"It's a game where you build a life and do whatever. Build a house, find a job, control relationships, make a story."

She slowly nodded, you were torn between if it was out of horror or just confusion.

"And what are we doing in here exactly?" Wednesday questioned so she could understand it more.

Follow up questions of course, went through your head. "Oh you know, it's just us living our best."

Seeing the decorated surroundings which were dark tones and a little Addamsy much to her liking, she cracked a smile. One that escaped your eye this time.

"And we are together in this i suppose? Just as in real life?" she asked and you nodded.

You thought this was getting too humiliating and attempted to close it once more. Without a win because Wednesday still persisted with her quick reflexes.

You groaned and left with a plan of throwing yourself on the near bed and hopes of sleeping until Wednesday forgets about it.

Her hand reaching for you prevented you from leaving her side. "It's like writing a story, as far as i understood?" She asked pointing at the chair telling you to sit down.

Watching her grab another chair to share a space next to you, you answered, "Best way to describe it so yeah."

Making herself comfortable, she looked over to you candidly. "Why are you doing this?"

"I can always delete it if you wish so. It's a dumb game anyways-"

"No. I meant why are you building our fabricated lives in this?" she asked you unprepared.

Scratching your neck, you tried to avoid her gaze. "Thinking about our future, i guess? I often think about how it will be. If it will ever be."

Noticing there's no point in doing so because of the darkness in the room, you turned to her. "It's just like your novels. You write about things. Except this is far away from it."

Wednesday kept looking at you as if she's lost. As if her mind wandered off for a moment. You felt exposed. You couldn't read her mind that was now unknowingly running with the thoughts of your future. She never wanted to give it much attention but here she is. A future with you? Probably the one she's most hopeful about besides death.

"Don't compare a video game to a novel."

Feeling slightly dispirited, you laughed to conceal it.

Wednesday shuffled and put her legs on the chair. Folded in half, she gave you words of encouragement.

"Do i have privileged pass to see the house?"

"To see what?"

She made a motion with her head facing the game. "Show me. I hope you have torture chambers added."

Wednesday just might search for a place once this university ends. A place resembling the one in the game. Happy wife, happy life, no?

notes: happy wife happy life sarcastically meaning, i know wednesday would never

#wednesday x reader #wednesday imagine #wednesday addams x reader #sims 4 supremacy

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Safe Haven ~Bang Chan | Day 1.

Pairing: SpaceRebel!Chan x WitchQueen!F.Reader Themes: Fantasy AU | Sci-Fi AU | Royalty AU | Soulmate AU | Slow Burn | Mutual Pining | Angst | Smut | Fluff. Series Warnings: Third person POV · Very loose and liberal usage of Star Wars concepts (mostly to refer to weapons and tech). you don’t need to know anything about SW to read this, trust me · Physical descriptions of the main female character such as: can visibly blush, having long hair, and being short · Violence · Swearing · Mature themes and language · Original characters · Graphic smut (later chapters) · Mentions of the members of other groups (later chapters) · No one is straight, beware · Each chapter will include its own individual warnings. Chapters marked as M (Mature) either include highly detailed violence, or smut.

Chapter Warnings: near death experiences · mentions of weapons · food consumption · usually Chan’s thoughts are presented within the narrative in italics.

Word Count: ~9k | AO3

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact. ✰This chapter has been reworked as of 16/08/2023

Series Masterlist. | Next Chapter: Day 2.

Disclaimer: the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

“Felix! On our left!” Chan couldn’t have felt more stressed than he did right now. They had truly gotten in quite the pickle this time. 

Laser beams shot past them while Chan expertly steered the ship out of their path. One of the beams landed on an asteroid nearby, shattering it to pieces, the shockwave produced upon impact made their starship shake slightly when they flew by.

“I’m on it, I’m on it!” Felix shouted back at his captain from the weaponry, with his gaze fixated on the radar as he tried to lock onto their attackers.

Chan, Changbin, and Felix were carrying out a stealth mission. Dall–their leader–had tipped them on a way to circumvent the security systems on one of the main bases of operations of the Charmer. All they had to do was sneak in, steal the intel from the main computer, and leave undetected.

They had almost made it. Almost. 

The Charmer–as the man liked to call himself–was a murderous usurper, a warlock that used dark magic to conquer small, vulnerable planets. He was incredibly strong, so much so that he would be able to enslave the inhabitants of planets in a matter of minutes, with only the help of a handful of loyal subjects, and his own army of mutated creatures.

No one would dare stand up to the Charmer; no one would dare show any sign of defiance, as being a slave was better than being dead–or worse, being turned into a monster with no regards to human life. No one would dare… except the Rebel Alliance. 

The Alliance openly opposed the Charmer. They worked in opening safe routes for people to escape his grasp, and slowly, but surely, they were working on a plan to finally overthrow his cruel ruling across the galaxy.

Chan, Changbin, and Felix were part of this Rebel Alliance. They had a special unit, SKZ, which consisted of them and five other friends; friends, who came together by tragedy. It started as a way of self-preservation, as a way to survive with help from one another, but it quickly evolved into a statement. They joined the Alliance as one of the main units four years ago, and have since contributed immensely to Dall’s cause.

Which had taken them to this point, chased by an enemy battleship–much larger, and way more powerful than their own. All because of a stupid miscalculation in Chan’s navigation coordinates, which somehow gave away their position.

Another beam was shot at them, Changbin reacted quickly, he hit buttons on the main control unit as his life literally depended on it. The beam barely grazed them thanks to his quick thinking. From the feedback Chan could read on one of the many screens in front of him, the heat had left superficial scratches on the starboard of the ship. 

However, the relief they felt after avoiding the attack was short-lived. In seconds, all warning alarms started going off when the enemy battleship released attack droids into the atmosphere.

“Come on, Yongbok! Use your third eye or something!” Changbin was clearly slightly panicked–not enough to impede his thinking, but enough to shout at the younger boy in the weaponry.

“What the hell do you think I’m doing?!” Felix shouted back while he kept shooting incessantly to stop the attack droids from coming too close to them.

“Enough!” The last thing Chan needed right now was for his two crewmates to distract themselves arguing with one another.

They were in a bad position. Really bad.

Hitting a few buttons in the main console, Chan started communications with their base of operations.

“Chan!” A voice came through the speaker, clearly exasperated, stressed.

“Seungmin, lock our position! You might need it later! Over!” The words rushed out of Chan’s mouth, he could hardly focus on what he was saying, since he had to have his full attention on his steering to avoid more laser beams flying past them.

“I’m on it! Over!” Seungmin took his captain’s command, and the loud crackling sound from the speaker signalled the connection to be over.

“Changbin, load hyperdrive!” Chan’s orders came out of his mouth effortlessly, but hurried. “Lix, set shooters to defence mode and come back here!”

Changbin got to work immediately, he continued to frantically hit buttons on the main console to prepare their jump into hyperspace; meanwhile, Felix changed settings on the shooters to defence mode, and immediately ran back from the weaponry to the main control room. As soon as he was in the room with his friends, he sat down in one of the available seats, and strapped himself to it.

Another laser passed by them, and the tell-tale sounds of a charging hyperdrive filled their ears among all the explosion sounds out and around them.

“Hyperdrive ready!” Changbin spoke quickly as soon as the indicators flashed green. “What coordinates?”

“Any! The closest and safest you can find in five seconds!” 

Changbin paused for a moment as he gathered the numbers on his monitor. This was no moment to hesitate, so he chose the first numbers he saw on the screen that fit their needs. “Alright! Coordinates set, captain!”

“Hold on tight, boys!” Chan pressed the big red button, effectively launching them into hyperspace. The scenery took indecipherable forms as he steered as far away as he could out of the enemy’s reach.

Chan liked to call himself an expert pilot. He was able to perform tricky, precise moves, even now as he tried to confuse the enemy’s radar with his complicated–and admittedly dangerous–moves.

With minimal recoil, they finally reached their destination. The sudden quietness gave way to a slight ringing to start in their ears. The ship shook slightly when they entered the gravitational pull of the planet located in that quadrant.

Chan turned to Changbin, and Changbin turned to him. A look of relief passed Changbin’s eyes, but before he could say anything, they were both startled by Felix’s sudden movements and the sound of his safety belt unlocking.

“There’s a stray attack droid!” Felix yelled, running as fast as he could to get back to the weaponry.

Panic flooded Chan. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, getting ready to bolt out of there.

Felix took control of the shooters, and quickly aimed and shot on instinct without aid from the radar. Right before his shot landed on the droid, the thing fired at them, and hit their ship’s motor with a loud, and very unpleasant boom.

The droid exploded into space rubbish as soon as Felix’s shot landed on it, and then, they were falling.

“Lix!” Chan shouted for his friend while he tried his best to stabilise the ship. “Get back here, Felix!”

Even if Changbin was clearly panicking next to Chan, he did his best to start an emergency landing.

The warning alarms were loud around them, and the temperature was rising quickly inside the main control room as they fell. The landscape started transforming, from blobs of colour, to actual defined shapes. Mountains, rivers, forests, and even buildings were quickly approaching, or, more accurately, they were quickly approaching the ground.

Chan manoeuvred the ship as best as he could. By pure luck he was able to spot a clearing, hopefully big enough for them to land on. Would we even be able to land? The thought briefly flashed in Chan’s mind. Anxiety dangerously clung to every fibre of his being, but he couldn’t let it affect his motor skills. He needed to make sure they landed safely, he couldn’t let his friends die like this, he had to give this intel to the Alliance…

With one last turn of the wheel, the ship hit the ground. The sound of the crash rumbled across the land. Chan’s ears popped, and immediately, his mind went blank.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Why is it so stupidly hot?

.

.

.

My head hurts

.

.

What’s that noise?

.

Thoughts came and went as Chan slowly started to regain consciousness. How long have I been out? The main console was in flames, there was smoke everywhere, which made it difficult to see past a few metres in front of him. Ah, yes. Crash-landing… The memories started coming back to him as he took in the dancing fire in front of him.

“Changbin…? Felix…?” With trembling fingers, Chan unbuckled his safety belt, trying to get a response from his friends.

Since Changbin had been sitting next to him, Chan found him without much difficulty. With a sigh of relief, he realised Changbin was already stirring awake, and Chan gripped his shoulders to get his attention.

“Are you okay?” Chan was panting heavily, still shaken from the crash.

“What… the…” Changbin breathed out. Okay, one crewmate alive out of two.

“Good, good. Words are good”, Chan helped Changbin get out of his seat. As he did, a memory suddenly flashed in his mind, and panic flooded him again. Felix had taken off his safety belt and left his seat to go to the weaponry. “Shit”.

With wobbly and uncoordinated steps, Chan started to walk away from the control room. His right hand moved to his left side to grab his ribs, trying to ease the pain he was feeling in the area. 

“Felix?” Chan asked to the empty space as he moved in the direction of the weaponry.

No answer. 

Changbin was right behind him, just as wobbly as Chan, limping slightly.

“Felix!” 

Felix was on the floor of the corridor between the weaponry and the main control room, passed out. Both Chan and Changbin crouched down next to him as best as their aching limbs let them.

“Yongbok, wake up. Wake up, please”, Changbin started shaking his younger crewmate in hopes of waking him up.

“Dude, please”, Chan lightly ruffled Felix’s hair, his own attempt at trying to wake him up. He honestly lacked the strength to do anything else.

A few moments passed with no reaction. Uneasiness and anxiety settled between the ship’s captain and his co-pilot with every second of silence.

Eventually, though, groans started spilling from Felix’s lips as he slowly stirred awake. 

“Did I die? Am I in hell?” Felix mumbled, sitting up, and groaning in pain.

Chan and Changbin looked at one another, then at Felix. They both hauled themselves at him. Relieved, borderline maniac laughs fell from their lips while they hugged each other.

“How the fuck are we even alive?” Changbin said between laughs.

“I think… After I saw the attack droid explode to bits I started casting a spell”, Felix closed his eyes tight in concentration, rubbing at his temple with his hands while he tried to remember the events. Then, a shy smile spread on his face. “I think it worked”.

Chan looked at him, then at Changbin. He was so happy his friends were alive, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel so, so guilty… “Guys, I…”

The words got stuck in his throat when he started hearing noise coming from the main corridor, noise that dangerously sounded like steps.

There were other people on the ship.

Unidentified people. 

The three exchanged panicked looks. They had no weapons at hand, nor any physical capacity to defend themselves. They had just survived a crash-landing only to possibly die at the hands of the enemy anyway… It was honestly almost… cruel.

Trying to take on a better defensive position, they shuffled around. Felix was still not exactly dexterous with his magic, but he was the only one with a chance to defend them at this point.

Suddenly, a cloaked figure popped out from the main corridor with a spear in their hand. Not a lightspear, just a regular, old-fashioned spear.

The person stilled as they saw the three men crouched on the floor.

“Don’t move!” They ordered, pointing their spear at the group. The cloaked figure turned their face to the corridor, shouting, presumably for backup. “Over here!”

In the blink of an eye–before Felix had the chance to even cast a puny spell–five cloaked figures were standing around them, all pointing their spears at them. These people were fast, too fast for them. With one look at them it was easy to tell… Chan and his friends were, for lack of a better word, utterly screwed.

A sixth figure popped out from the main corridor. Of average height, male presenting, with white hair, white beard, and a scar going from his eyebrow to his cheek, the man simply looked them up and down.

“Seize them”, his voice was gruff, with an odd edge of disgust to it.

As soon as the command left his mouth, the cloaked figures lunged at the crouching rebels, and they forcibly pushed them to their feet.

They were strong, too, Chan realised as soon as their hands were on his body. Alarm bells rang in his head while he assessed his opponents. At this point, there wasn’t much they could do, he figured. They were unarmed, wounded, and unable to ask for backup.

The three rebels had their hands forced behind their backs. One of the cloaked guards flicked their wrist, and ropes of light immediately fell from their fingertips. The tendrils quickly wrapped around Chan’s, Changbin’s, and Felix’s wrists. 

Hope started slipping between his fingers as Chan realised just who these people were. Or rather, what they were. Magic wielders… We are truly, truly screwed.

“Move it!” A warlock pushed Chan to move forward, and the others did the same to his crewmates. 

Chan bit the inside of his cheek as they walked the main corridor. Everything was in ruins. Cables hung loose from the ceiling, the formerly automatic doors were half open, completely still and stuck in that position.

His heart sunk further in his chest when he realised what they were walking towards… There was a huge, gaping hole in what he knew was the side of the ship.

Realistically, as soon as he regained consciousness, he knew the ship was trashed, but he just couldn’t help the crushing feeling that overcame him when he saw the extent of the damage.

Chan understood then that the people that seized them had used this hole to enter their ship. One by one, they stepped out of the ship, the sunlight was almost blinding, and a cool breeze hit their faces. For the latter, he was grateful. 

As they marched in a line, rebels sandwiched between magic wielders, he turned his head to see the damage on the outside of the ship. The hole they came out from was right next to the white letters Chan himself had carefully painted on the shell. Big Bad Wolf.

With a defeated sigh, he turned his head back to keep looking in front of him, ignoring the knot he felt forming in his throat.

So far, this place looked nothing like he expected.

After Chan identified their captors as magic wielders, he was sure they had fallen into the enemy’s territory. And yet, this place looked nothing like any Charmer-invaded planet he’d been to.

There was grass beneath their feet, but not the usual brown, dry grass he’d see. It was green, it was alive. There were tall bushes around them, trees, even flowers. All full of colour, full of life.

In the far distance, he could see a castle-like structure standing tall past the trees.

After a few minutes of walking, more and more human-made structures appeared among the greenery. Fountains, benches, statues… And finally, people.

People started scarcely popping up around them. They gave them weird, concerned looks, but they didn’t look enslaved, nor abused in any way. This gave Chan some semblance of hope.

They eventually reached an open corridor adjacent to the castle he’d noticed earlier. Pillars with intricate patterns and carvings both adorned and supported the roof of this corridor, and to the farthest end, a grand arch provided a view of their destination. They were being taken inside the castle, Chan reasoned.

The inner corridors were ample, paintings and banners hung from the walls, intricate symbols were carved on all surfaces, none of which he recognised. The floors were lined with a marine blue carpet, which slightly muffled their steps as they walked.

Chan saw a few people walk past them. They were carrying stacks of books, baskets full of clothes, or even plates with food. They spared the group of rebels a glance, but carried on with hurried steps, with no real fear or concern in their eyes.

He was trying to look out the windows, to try and figure out where exactly they were, when they all came to a stop. The white-bearded man pushed open two big doors, and signalled his people to go in.

Once inside, Chan noticed two thrones on the last third of the room. One was golden, with wolves carved on its sides, the back of it adorned with a sculpture of a sun at the top, and red fabric on its cushioning. The other was silver, with tigers at its sides, violet fabric, and the sculpture of a moon at the top. Behind the royal seats, there were tables pushed to the wall with miscellaneous items scattered on top of them.

The warlocks positioned Chan, Changbin, and Felix in a row in the middle of the room, one of them had taken their hood off, and gave them warning looks, as if to say ‘Don’t move’.

“Who are you?!” The man’s tone was harsh as he addressed them.

The three of them exchanged looks. Should they speak? Should they remain quiet?

“Answer me!”

Chan cleared his throat, deciding to take the lead, as usual. “I’m Chan. I’m the captain, so I’ll speak”.

The man’s eye twitched when he turned to Chan. “Tell me, Chan. Why did you and your friends decide to ruin our royal gardens?”

“It was an accident”, Chan tried his best to appear impassive, to not give away any lead to this man about what they were actually doing before they crashed.

The man’s scarred eye twitched again, his nostrils flared, and he stretched his left hand towards Felix.

“Who do you plead allegiance to?” He slowly started to close his hand, and Felix was immediately affected by the man’s magic, if the desperate, choked sounds coming out of his mouth were anything to go by.

He didn’t even need to cast a spell to do this, Chan’s worried thoughts momentarily stunned him.

“Felix!” Changbin desperately shouted, with panic written all over his face.

“Answer me!” The man’s tone was harsh, his grip tightened ever so slightly for a moment, only to finally let go. As soon as his grip loosened, Felix fell to his hands and knees, gasping for air.

“That’s it, scums. Kneel! All of you! Unless you want me to continue with your friend”.

Changbin gave a hesitant look to Chan, who just barely nodded. Both sank to his knees. And, honestly, the carpeted floor provided little to no comfort in this situation.

The man walked towards Chan. With a snap of his fingers the rope of light that bound Chan’s wrists moved, carrying his hands to his front and locking them there. He took a hold of Chan’s left wrist, right on the little space left between his hand and the light-cuff.

“What are you doing here, and who do you pledge allegiance to?” The man emphasised his words with a tight squeeze. Chan just grunted in response, clenching his teeth to withstand the pain. This old man had a stupidly strong grip, and his already weak wrists could definitely feel it.

“If you don’t answer me… ” The man took a dagger from his belt, and placed it right on top of Chan’s bent wrist. “There will be consequences”.

This was quite the predicament now. On one hand, he certainly wanted to keep his hand–thank you very much… But on the other hand, there was no way that he could betray the Rebel Alliance by giving confidential, possibly compromising information to this man.

Above all else, Chan was a man of principles, and he would not back down. He just looked the man in the eyes, defiant, keeping his mouth firmly shut.

He could see it in the man’s eyes, the rage fueled by every second Chan stayed silent holding his gaze. He let out a frustrated groan, and lifted his dagger in the air. Chan braced himself for the impact.

Maybe he was a fool for being hopeful earlier, maybe this place was just like those invaded by the Charmer, maybe–

“What’s the meaning of this?”

The stern voice came from behind the group, just before the dagger connected with Chan’s wrist. The old man halted his movements, and he immediately tensed when his gaze moved from Chan to the person that spoke from behind them. Chan could see a flash of fear pass the man’s eye for a second, before he composed himself.

“Your Majesty…” He let go of Chan’s hands, and took a step back.

Chan held his wrist to his chest, trying to find a position to relieve the dull ache.

Muted footsteps could be heard from behind them. The sound grew closer, until a female figure came into their line of sight. Walking past them, she stopped right next to the old man, looking in the opposite direction of his, giving her back to Chan and his friends. 

“That’s enough, Lord Skallarg”, she emphasised her command with a tight squeeze on his shoulder, side eyeing him. The man Chan now knew was called Skallarg winced in pain under her touch.

She was dressed in a long sleeved cotton shirt, form fitting trousers, and boots. Chan couldn’t help but notice the dagger strapped to her thigh, but she didn’t seem to have any further weapons on her.

If he were honest, she looked rough for someone referred to as ‘Majesty’. Her hair was tousled, and her cheeks had visible smudges of dirt on them. Even then, though, there was some strange energy radiated off her. It was almost like he could hear a minute hum emanating from her, a hum that somehow made it so Chan just had to look at her.

“I hope you have a very good reason to be torturing people in our throne room without our consent”, she finally turned to look at him, speaking with a firm tone. 

“You–Your Majesty”, Skallarg stumbled on his words, and Chan had to use every drop of willpower not to laugh at the absurdity of it all… This man who almost cut Chan’s hand clean off was now cowering, and it was honestly a bit… satisfying. “You know that in the absence of the High King and the Queen, I’m–" 

“You’re in charge of political matters, yes. But considering I was gone for only a day, and knowing I would be back today, I would’ve expected you to wait”, she spoke solemnly, but there was a clear edge of disdain in her voice. These two clearly had some sort of history, and Chan filed that information in his brain in case it came in handy later. “Explain yourself”.

Skallarg cleared his throat. “These men crashed a ship in the royal gardens, Your Majesty, and they refuse to provide any explanation for their actions”. 

The Queen finally recognized their presence. She looked down at the three men kneeling in her throne room. Her eyes landed on Chan, looking him right in the eyes. He held her gaze, with no hesitation. There was still a bit of hope in him, and by the Gods he was going to hold on to it.

After a few moments of silence, Her Majesty finally spoke, still staring deep into Chan’s eyes. “Remove their restraints”.

“Wh–what”, Skallarg looked visibly taken aback by his Queen’s request.

“Iʼm not going to repeat myself”.

“But, Your Majesty–!” 

The Queen let out a clearly annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes. With a wave of her hand, the light tendrils that kept the three men’s hands bound disappeared. 

The group exchanged confused looks, trying to make no sudden movements, keeping their position on the floor. 

The Queen turned to Skallarg. “Leave us”.

Her command left no room for argument, and yet…

“Your Majesty, I would advise–”

She turned towards the back of the room again, and held a hand up to his face. Skallarg immediately recoiled at the sudden movement. “I honestly don’t care about your advice. You can leave it for the High King”, she started to walk, putting a stop to the conversation. “Leave. And take your guards”.

Skallarg’s face twisted in disgust. He shot one last condescending look to the three of them, and without any further comments, he made a signal to his guards and left.

Aside from the Queen, Chan, Changbin, and Felix, there was another person in the room. A tall, brown man, dressed in a similar fashion to the Queen’s. Next to him, sat a panther. Its tail slowly swayed from side to side. Chan locked eyes with it and gulped.

It was huge, like a small horse.

The panther stood up, stretching–its body formed that classic arch felines make when they stretched, and had he not been almost completely in shock, Chan would’ve probably found it cute. Slowly, it crept towards the group, and as soon as it was in front of them, it started sniffing them one by one. It took its sweet time, sniffing their hands, their necks, their faces…

The three sat completely still, understanding the silent command. The panther stood in front of Felix last. It sniffed him way longer than the other two, taking its time with each limb. After a while, it settled on sniffing his forehead, and a low rumble started resonating from deep within it when its tongue poked from its mouth and licked Felix’s forehead, right in the middle.

The Queen hummed at the action, sounding somehow satisfied. The panther simply stretched forward once again, and walked away towards the two thrones. It spun a couple of times around them, until it finally plopped down in front of the silver throne, and started to groom itself.

“Stand up, travellers”, Her Majesty spoke, breaking the deafening silence that had fallen in the throne room. “Tell me your names, and explain to me, what business do you have in our domain”.

The three men exchanged looks. And, once again, they reached a silent agreement for the captain to speak.

“I’m Chan. These are Changbin and Felix. We were travelling with course to Anem when suddenly our ship’s motor gave out”, Chan spoke confidently, he surprised even himself with how level and sure of it all he sounded. “It just so happened that the first clearing I spotted turned out to be your gardens. We managed to stabilise the ship enough so we wouldn’t die. Which was good for us. Not so much for your garden, though…”

The Queen’s lips quirked up the tiniest bit, almost like she was going to smile, but instead, she just hummed at his answer. She looked thoughtful for a second, a second in which her eyes never strayed from his. “Do you know where you are, Chan?”

“I do not”.

The Queen raised an eyebrow, but quickly composed herself, turning her expression neutral once again. “Do you know where you are?” She asked, turning to Changbin and Felix.

They both shook their heads.

Her eyes returned to Chan. The way she looked at him so directly made him feel only slightly intimidated–lies, he felt very intimidated by this woman, but he couldn’t let that show through.

“You’re in Lira Le”, she said simply.

Chan’s eyes widened in surprise. Lira Le was known for being a neutral, peaceful planet. However, paradoxically, they were also known for birthing the strongest warriors and magic wielders in the galaxy. Suddenly, the people that seized them on the ship, that man Skallarg… It all made sense.

“We like to help those in need, and keep things amicable… solve things without violence when possible, you know?” The Queen continued. “However, what we can’t stand is dishonesty and lies”.

Chan’s left eye twitched at that. Well, shit… He had always thought of himself as a good liar, as a decent spokesperson, and yet, he was caught. Maybe embarrassingly quickly. He held the Queen’s gaze regardless. He was willing to get his hand cut off for the Alliance, he would be willing to lie to this woman’s face if it meant the safety of their cause as well.

There was a pause. The Queen’s eyes darted all around his face, and, for a moment, he thought he would fall back to his knees under her heavy gaze.

His resolve to keep the Alliance’s secret trembled slightly, he’d admit…

“Let me ask you something, Chan”, she said finally, ending the staring contest. “When the night is dark, and the forest is calm, who attends to ease the wolf pup’s cries?”

Chan’s eyes widened immediately. This was a turn of events he didn’t expect.

He could feel his companions stiffen next to him once the Queen had recited the Rebel Alliance’s code, of all things. The one they used to identify each other in times of need.

There was hope after all.

“The Moon”, he replied simply, almost in a breathless whisper. 

The Queen smiled, a genuine smile, and turned around to start walking towards the tables behind the thrones.

“The moon, what?” She asked, with a slight lilt in her voice that Chan could only describe as teasing.

Chan gulped, and the gears started turning desperately fast in his brain. “The moon, Your Majesty”.

“I’ll give you another chance, Chan”, the Queen fetched a tray from the table, and placed a jug and five glasses on it. She walked back towards the centre of the room, and handed the tray to her companion. “What business do you have in our domain?”

She sounded sincere. It didn’t seem like any tactic to get them to confess their secrets, she had recited the code so convincingly that it left no room for doubts in Chan’s mind that she was, indeed, acquainted with the Alliance.

“We had no business here, Your Majesty”, he decided to add the honorifics to his sentences moving forward, in hopes of staying on her good side. “We stole intel from one of the main bases of the Charmer. We were unfortunately discovered and chased by a battleship. We escaped to these coordinates by chance, but were ultimately shot down by an attack drone”.

The Queen listened carefully to his words. A flash of something passed through her eyes, but she quickly concealed it. Even though she was clearly trying not to let it show, her tone was almost worried as she asked, “what happened to the attack drone?”

“Felix here shot it down”, Chan offered, pointing to Felix. The Queen’s face visibly relaxed at the confirmation. “We truly didn’t mean to land here. Lira Le just so happened to be below us, and we were just barely able to survive because of it. And that’s the truth”.

The Queen looked at him for a few moments, her eyes scanned his face for what he guessed would be any signs of a lie. He was telling the truth, and yet, a cold sweat broke on the back of his neck. He held his breath in anticipation while they shared the silence.

Finally, the Queen nodded. “I see”, were the only words to leave her mouth. Was that a good sign?

She turned to the man holding the tray, took the jug in her hand, and carefully poured the contents into the five glasses. It was a clear liquid, so Chan reasoned it had to be water. She took one of the glasses and drank from it, gulping it all in one go.

To him, the gesture was pretty direct, as if she was telling them ‘This liquid is safe to drink from’.

“Drink some”, the Queen handed the glasses to the three of them one by one, leaving the last for her companion, with an apologetic smile on her face. “I’m sure you need it”.

Chan was suddenly hyper-aware of how thirsty he was. With all the ‘getting captured by possibly evil magic wielders’ thing, his bodily functions were clearly not his major concern. He took the glass from the Queen’s hand, their fingers lightly brushed against one another in the process, making a shiver run down his spine. What an odd reaction to have with a stranger, he thought. But, ultimately, he decided to ignore it.

The container was cool in his hand, and condensation was already dripping from its sides. As he drank, he could feel the fresh liquid cooling him from the inside out, for which he was grateful.

“Well”, the Queen’s voice broke through the silence. “Welcome to Lira Le, Chan, Changbin, and Felix”, she regarded them with a smile, another genuine one. “I must apologise for Skallarg’s behaviour. When he’s given the tiniest bit of power he becomes a complete monster”.

Her tone was sharp as she spoke of their captor, and, immediately, a light sense of relief washed over Chan’s chest. It seemed like the odds were truly looking in their favour.

“Unfortunately for me, the High King wants him there, so there’s nothing much I can do about it”, she poured more water into her glass, offering more to the group, which they gladly accepted.

“Can I ask a question”, Changbin asked all of a sudden. “Uhhh, Your Majesty…”

“Please, go ahead”, the Queen turned around, hopping over her sleeping panther. She reached the silver throne and sat down on it, taking another sip from her glass.

“You’re in with the Rebel Alliance… I thought Lira Le was a neutral planet”.

The Queen’s gaze met her assistant’s briefly, only to look back at Changbin while turning a ring on her thumb with her middle finger.

“Yes, well… It’s complicated”, she offered. “Lira Le is a neutral planet, yes… But we’re also a very moralistic society, and I, personally, will not accept injustice. My affiliation with the Alliance has nothing to do with my people, nor the High King. This is a me thing. Which, I would appreciate if it could remain between the people in this room, and us only”.

The group simply nodded in agreement. 

With a flick of her wrist the glass in her hand floated all the way back to the tables behind the thrones.

“I will provide you with food and shelter. I will also get our best engineers to repair your ship. You can stay here as long as you need. As long as our little secret is not compromised, of course”, she added the last part with a wink.

There was a moment of stunned silence. A smile crept on Felix’s face, while Changbin’s mouth fell slightly open in surprise. Chan was just baffled, incapable of doing anything other than blink repeatedly for a bit once he heard her offer.

“However!” Her Majesty stood up from the throne, hopping once again over her still sleeping panther and walking towards the three men. “We still need to settle the matter of our destroyed garden…”

Her tone was calm, with no malice or ill intent in it, and yet Chan winced as the words came out of her mouth, as soon as he remembered the extent of the damage. Yeaaah, there’s no way we can afford that, he thought, and a cold sweat broke on the back of his neck.

“I’ll be willing to pardon the intrusion, and all the damages, as long as you guys do me a favour”, the Queen started her proposal. “My assistant here, Dev”, she pointed towards the tall man that had been in the room with them. “He needs two companions to go on a week-long expedition up the mountains of Kar”.

“Of course, we will provide all safety equipment and supplies”, the Queen continued. “And, based on my darling Freyja’s assessment”, she pointed to the panther behind her. “I’m sure any of you would be more than suitable for the task”. 

The three of them exchanged looks, speechless. One thing of having lived with each other for so many years now was how easy they could communicate, even without words. A look of ‘Do we even have a choice’ flashed in each other’s faces, emphasised with a shrug from Felix.

Well… Decision made.

Chan spoke, trying his best to conceal his hesitancy. “We’ll oblige”.

“Excellent!” Her Majesty sounded relieved, which confused Chan a bit. A smile made its way onto her face, and seemed to not want to leave, even as she turned to her assistant. “Dev, dear. Please, inform the maids to prepare three rooms and warm meals for our guests tonight. Let Jenna and Wang Eun in immediately. And then, send the engineers down to check their ship’s damage”.

“Will do, Your Majesty”, Dev bowed his head, then turned to the three men. “Welcome to Lira Le”, he added, smiling. With a final bow, he left the throne room.

The Queen turned to Chan once again. “You don’t need to tell me right now who’s going. We need a minimum of two people, but if all three of you wish to go that’s fine, too”.

Two people entered the throne room then, dressed in a simple, comfortable looking uniform. They stood by the door, with their hands behind their backs

“I have matters to attend to”, the Queen informed the three of them. “Should you need anything, our Wang Eun here will be able to help you”.

Her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled at them, she sounded almost… grateful, which immediately threw Chan for a loop. They should be the ones sounding grateful here, why would she be grateful?

With a slight bow of her head, she moved towards the two people stationed at the entrance. As soon as she was within reach, Her Majesty took the hand of the female presenting one to tug her through the door and out of the room with her, leaving Chan and his friends alone with the person Chan assumed was Wang Eun.

“Uhm, hello. Wang Eun, right? I’m Chan”, he extended his hand towards the man, offering a friendly handshake.

Wang Eun looked at Chan’s hand, slightly confused, but he smiled regardless. Instead of taking his hand, he just bowed. “A pleasure to meet you, Chan. Is there anything I might be of assistance with at this time?”

Chan felt just a normal amount of mortified as he retracted his hand and wiped it awkwardly on his trousers. 

Changbin cleared his throat, diverting the attention to him. “Hey, I’m Changbin. Would it be possible for you to take us to our ship?”

“Sure, but”, a playful look passed Wang Eun’s eyes. “I believe a trip to the infirmary is in order. Please, follow me”.

“Well, this doesn’t look too good”, Changbin said as soon as they were standing in front of their ship.

‘Not too good’ was an understatement.

To their surprise, people were already walking around the ship, going in and out from the hole on the ship’s side with their hands full of blackened pieces of metal and miscellaneous loose wires.

“C’mon, let’s see what’s left”, Chan hated how weak his voice sounded, but he couldn’t help it, not when the knot in his throat and the heavy feeling in his chest returned tenfold. Entering the ship from its side certainly felt like a slash to his pride, like an absolute offence to his title as captain. 

There were even more people inside the ship. Some measured the gaps and holes on the walls, some were dealing with the burnt electronics hanging from the ceiling, others simply stood there, with their fingers flying over some stone slab-looking device in their hands that Chan couldn’t quite recognise.

“I’ll check the sleeping quarters”, Felix said suddenly, just as someone rushed past him, furiously tapping the slab in their hands.

“I’ll be checking the weaponry”, Changbin offered.

“Meet me in the main control room when you’re done”, Chan ordered before he walked away from his friends and towards the main control room.

“Shit…” Chan couldn’t help but swear the deeper he got into the ship.

Without the smoke, and without the threat of imminent death, he was finally able to see the true extent of the damage. The people working around the ship had somehow placed floating orbs of light throughout the space, which helped fully illuminate every crack, every obsolete circuit panel, and every loose cable along the walls.

By the time he reached the main control room, the knot in his throat seemed to have gotten bigger, and tears welled in his eyes. He didn’t let them loose, but he was so, so close to.

His attention turned towards the main dashboard, more specifically, to an old man kneeling next to it. The man had a bionic eye, he was carefully examining what Chan knew to be the circuit board of the main navigation system, which was usually located under the main console. 

“Can I help you, boy?” The old man’s gaze didn’t stray from the thing in his hands when he spoke. His bionic eye made small whirring sounds as it zoomed in and out and he kept assessing the circuit board.

“Uhm, yes. I’m Chan, I’m the captain of this ship”, he introduced himself for what felt like the millionth time that day. He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to contain the question that was bubbling inside his chest.

The old man placed the circuit board on the floor next to the main console. With effort evident in his huffs and grunts, he stood up. Once standing, he immediately wiped his hands on his oil-stained overalls.

“The name’s Talboot”, the man placed his right hand over his heart and bowed. “I’m the one in charge of this restoration project. This baby has been through some rough patches, hasn’t it?”

“One or two, yes”, Chan chuckled. He still had some hope that at least the internal components of the ship were salvageable, and, before he knew it, the question he’d been trying to keep contained finally left his mouth. “How bad is it?”

“Well, I’m not sure I can answer your question right now. We’re still running the diagnostic, trying to see how much has been damaged…” Talboot scratched his chin, his bionic eye wouldn’t stop moving, and it made it really hard for Chan to not focus on it. Talboot looked towards the main viewport, which was shattered to pieces, before he continued speaking. “Although, let me tell you, boy. It doesn’t look like she’s exactly in mint condition. If you know what I mean…”

“Yeah…” Chan sighed in defeat. “I know what you mean”.

“Oddly enough, the navigation system seems okay-ish. It’s not gonna need much work, probably just a lot of rewiring”, Talboot walked past Chan, and patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t look so sad. We’re here to help, boy”

With that, Talboot left the room.

Chan walked towards the main console, he swiped two of his fingers on the surface. The action left dark splotches of soot on his fingertips, and the path left behind by them made him sigh in defeat.

“The navigation system is okay-ish…” Chan repeated to himself, still trying his best to hold it together.

With a deep breath, he brought a hand to his head to card his fingers through his hair. He took a look at himself then. The healers in the infirmary had patched them all up quite well. One of them gave a vial of a mysterious blue liquid to the three injured rebels. It certainly helped ease the aches in their bodies, especially so as the healer took his time afterwards to dress their wounds.

As Chan stood there, in his trashed control room, he stared at a particular dressing on his arm. For him, that piece of gauze was a perfect reminder that he had, ultimately, failed his crewmates.

They had been on numerous missions before, but none as dangerous as this one. Had it not been for Felix’s quick thinking back when they were being chased by the battleship, they would have all died.

All because Chan made a mistake.

He had made that mistake, and almost killed his friends because of it.

The sound of footsteps suddenly pulled Chan away from his thoughts. Felix came into the main control room with two bags slung over his shoulder. With a hand tugging on his blond locks, he took in the state of the room, huffing at the extent of the damage.

Regardless, Felix approached Chan with a smile on his face.

“These are all the personal belongings I could save from the mess. I found your journal!” He announced as he dropped the bags on the seat closest to Chan.

Changbin popped into the room right then as well, with only one bag in hand. “It’s incredible, but all our hand weapons are intact”.

Felix huffed, and the annoyance lacing his voice was almost palpable. “Wish I could say the same for our stuff. It’s like they deliberately shot right at our sleeping quarters, holy shit. Most of my underwear burnt to a crisp”. 

Changbin gasped. He dropped the singular bag on a chair next to him, and made his way straight towards the other two with hurried steps. As soon as he was in front of the two bags Felix had dropped next to Chan, he started to frantically rummage through them. “Dude, was my Dwaekki harmed?”

“No, he wasn’t. Here”, Felix reached into his trouser’s back pocket, pulled out a small piggy plushie, and handed it to Changbin.

“Oh, Dwaekki… Thank Gods, if something had–”

“Guys. We need to focus here”, Chan really couldn’t help the sternness in his voice. After all, it was almost second nature to him whenever they were inside the ship at this point. “Her Majesty has requested for us to assist her. We need to decide what we’re gonna do”.

Felix flashed him a look of confusion. “Oh, I thought it was pretty obvious what we were going to do”.

“Yeah, man. Thought it was pretty clear”, Changbin added.

Chan looked back and forth between them, confused. “I’m–I’m not following”.

Changbin blinked at Chan, almost looking at him like he had three heads. “We’ll go with the Queen’s assistant. Dev, was it? Anyway, we’ll go with him to this mountain expedition-thingy, while you stay here”.

Chan opened and closed his mouth a few times, until his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. “Shouldn’t we, like, vote or something? This doesn’t seem fair”.

“Think about it”, Felix started. He knew that the moment Chan tried to disagree with them, they needed to really back up their decision with facts. “The three of us can’t go. When the communication system is restored, someone needs to make contact with the others. It makes the most sense for you to stay. You’re the captain of the ship, and you know your way around these things. Plus, you’re notorious for gathering information, I think it’s worth knowing what’s going on with the Queen and the Alliance”.

“It’d be beneficial for you to stay, though”, Chan countered immediately. “You could even ask them to teach you a trick or two?”

“What? You wanna submit this to suffrage? Who’s in favour of Felix and me going on the expedition”, Changbin raised his hand.

Felix raised his hand as well. “Oh, wow. Shocking. Major vote”.

Chan rubbed at his temples in frustration. He was the captain, but sometimes–most times they were not flying–they could persuade him. “Fine. Let’s do it that way. But you guys need to be very careful out there”.

“I think we can manage”, Changbin winked at Chan. He just visibly cringed at Changbin in response.

Footsteps could be heard from the corridor again, but this time, instead of cloaked figures, it was Wang Eun who came into view and greeted them politely.

“Your chambers are ready. I’ve also been informed that supper will be ready soon. The food will be delivered to your chambers by yours truly”.

“Okay, let’s go”, Chan picked up one of the bags, and his companions picked up the other two.

With the little belongings they had slung over their shoulders, they followed Wang Eun out of the ship, and into the castle.

Chan’s chambers were certainly much bigger than the sleeping quarters on his ship, much bigger than his own room back at their base of operations. Big windows lined one of the walls, he could see vast greenery outside, along with what looked like bioluminescent plants glowing faintly in the distance as the sun set.

The major add-ons were the attached washroom, a queen sized bed, a dining table, and a tall bookcase covering one wall. The rest was just standard furniture, empty shelves and closets… Indeed, much better and more comfortable than the shared sleeping quarters inside the Big Bad Wolf.

Wang Eun brought him food earlier, the plate full of food was now on the table, growing cold. Next to the meal, his journal laid open, where Chan had been catching up on documenting the events of the past few days. He stood by the bookcase, his dark curls barely grazed his eyes, still damp after he had taken his sweet time in the washroom, and a fresh set of Liralean clothes hugged his frame. 

He was immensely thankful for the clean clothes, since his own had been turned to scraps after the crash. A black sleeveless vest top, paired with black trousers that hung loose on his legs–except for their anchor points at his waist and ankles–were provided to him to spend the night in.

His eyes scanned through the spines of the books, they were all adorned with detailed drawings and intricate lettering. Going by the titles, they were of varied languages, and of many different genres.

A knock on the door resonated in the otherwise quiet room. Wang Eun had informed Chan that he’d come back later to retrieve the plates, and to provide him a fresh set of clothes for the next day, so the sound didn’t really take him by surprise.

“Come in”, a book caught his attention. It had golden letters that seemed to pop on the blue background. Chan heard the door open and close at his back, just as he took the book from the bookcase, and carefully looked at the cover–Lira Le Historia, it read.

“Not very cautious of you to not check who’s coming in, Mr Rebel Captain”, the Queen’s voice broke the silence, sounding immensely amused.

Chan’s whole body jerked as soon as he heard the unexpected voice.  The book slipped from his hands with the shock, he quickly caught it with his other hand–albeit not very gracefully–before turning around to look at her.

Her Majesty was wearing black loose fitting pants, similar to his, and a lilac vest hugged her torso. The garment had a deep neckline that accentuated her cleavage, and highlighted the intricate rune-like designs adorning almost every centimetres of her exposed skin. The runes spread from her chest, to her neck, blowing into her arms.

Oh, dear. We must stay focused, Chan, he mentally slapped himself as he scrambled to fix his gaze on her face and not on her… attributes.

“Have you grown comfortable already? I must say, I’m flattered that that’s how you feel about our castle, but I would suggest you don’t make it a habit”, she grinned at him.

“Nothing malicious has happened so far. Except, well… that guy that almost cut my hands off. Other than that, though, it’s been great!” A grin spread on his lips as well, and he finally put the book down on the table.

The Queen visibly winced at the reminder. “Yes… that… I would like to apologise once again on his behalf”.

“Somehow, I don’t think he’d mean it”, Chan chuckled. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed company?”

The Queen dismissively waved her hand at his comment. “Please, I don’t need any polite flattering. I might be Queen, but as long as you show some decency and respect, anything else is unnecessary. Just speak freely, that’s how we do things here”. Point taken, Chan…

“But you still want to be addressed by your title?” Chan couldn’t help but be slightly teasing, which was probably not a good strategy on his part. She did ask him to speak freely, though…

“That, Chan, comes in the respect part”, she emphasised his name, a teasing grin danced on her lips briefly, until her face turned more serious, and one of her hands started to play with the rings on the opposite one. “I was wondering if you’d made a decision on my request from earlier…”

Chan paused for a moment. He really didn’t want the boys to go out there on their own. He was especially worried about Felix and his untrained abilities, but they would kill him if he didn’t go with the agreement.

“Changbin and Felix will go with Dev”, he took a deep breath. “I’ll stay here to check on the ship. We want to communicate with the rest of our crew as soon as the communicators are repaired. We can only do so from the specific wavelength transmitted through the ship”. 

The Queen exhaled then, her shoulders relaxed, and she looked almost… relieved.

“Thank you, truly”, and to Chan, it sounded like she meant it. “Is there anything we need to take into consideration? Allergies? Food preferences? I will inform Dev to start the preparations as soon as possible”. 

“Not really. They’ll eat pretty much anything. As long as they’re not harmed or killed, they’ll be fine, but thank you”.

Will they be fine?

Chan’s thoughts would often drift to the worst case scenarios. They intruded his mind and troubled him endlessly, it was ingrained in his DNA at this point. This was one of those times, and it was honestly incredibly inconvenient.

“You don’t have to worry about your crewmates. Dev has an integrated communicator, so you’ll be able to speak with them whenever you need to”. 

“Integrated?” Chan was slightly taken aback, until the memory of Talboot and his bionic eye flashed in his mind. “Is everyone here enhanced technologically?”

“Oh, not everyone. But it’s pretty common. I’m not, for example. The High King isn’t either”.

Oh, yeah. There’s a King. Right…

“We’re a pretty longevous society”, the Queen explained. “However, if an accident occurs… Well, we can make it a little easier on ourselves”. 

“Is it done only in case of an accident?” He asked, curious.

“Most people… To be honest, at the end of the day, anyone can do whatever they want with their bodies as long as they don’t harm anyone else”, she offered. “I’m… not going to ask where you’re from, since you’ve already given me enough personal information, but from your reaction, I imagine it’s nothing like Lira Le”.

Memories came and went swiftly in his mind with Her Majesty’s comment. Chan’s home planet was… humble. It was small, full of arid areas, and communities settled around the few waterfields available. He was happy there, his family operated a ship repair shop, which offered him his first expositions to the vessels.

Everything was fine there. Until it wasn’t… 

Twelve years ago, the Charmer invaded and usurped the land with no regard to its people. Chan could still remember the day it happened. To this day, the memory sometimes–more times than he’d like to admit–woke him up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. He could vividly remember the screams as the Charmer’s mutated creatures were released on them. He could remember the chaos that ensued after, how his planet was no longer the place it used to be. He could remember it all… as if it’d happened yesterday.

A bittersweet smile crept on his face at the memory. “Yeah, definitely nothing like Lira Le. Especially not now… Not after the Charmer”.

Slowly, tentatively, the Queen walked closer to him, and got into his space. She carefully took Chan’s hand in hers. She spoke calmly, almost… tenderly. “Let’s have faith that our cause will finally put an end to this”.

There’s a King, Chan. There’s a King…

She gave his hand a light squeeze, and immediately after let go, regarding him with a genuine smile on her lips. “I’ll leave you to rest. There’s a standard breakfast schedule. Should you wish to change it, you can speak to Wang Eun about it. Feel free to go around the castle, but I highly suggest you don’t go to the throne room, nor the entire wing after it”.

It honestly didn’t sound like a suggestion at all. It was a command.

Chan nodded in understanding. “Once again, thank you, Your Majesty”.

“Good night, Chan. Rest well”, with that she turned around and left, just as Chan offered her a ‘You as well’.

Chan stood there for a few moments, staring at the hand the Queen had held. Indecipherable thoughts chaotically roamed his mind, like a flock of hens picking at corn kernels on the grass.

With a deep breath, he walked towards the table, until he was able to pull back his chair to sit down in front of his now cold meal.

Her Majesty was right, he was getting too comfortable.

Maybe it was the fact that he’d been flying for the last three days trying to get to the Charmer’s base, just eating enough food to keep himself standing, maybe it was the injuries he’d suffered in the crash, or the tiredness that was leeching to his bones as the day passed, but he felt oddly comfortable.

Even though they were on unknown land, getting help from a Queen that acted in the shadows, behind the King’s back, he felt lucky. Lucky he was alive, but most importantly, that his crewmates–his friends–were alive.

Chan took the spoon in his hand to finally take the first bite of his food. As he chewed, he felt the knot grow in his throat once more, and the events of the day suddenly felt heavy on his shoulders.

Putting the utensil down, he placed his elbows on the table, and he brought his hands to his head, to rest his forehead on his palms while he lightly tugged on his hair. Tears welled in his eyes for a moment, and this time, he let them fall.

Between quiet sobs, ignoring the trembles coursing through his body, he realised the food was good.

Really good.

Series Masterlist. | Next Chapter: Day 2.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

#stray kids fantasy au #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction #bang chan fic #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #bang chan smut

[mortemoppetere]

TIMING: current. PARTIES: @muertarte & @mortemoppetere SUMMARY: metzli and emilio butt heads when they end up going after the same person. it doesn't end as poorly as it could have. CONTENT WARNINGS: head trauma.

The rapid sounds of feet crunched and thumped against the wet earth while tree branches groaned with the weight of a predator. The prey’s heavy breaths wheezed desperately through overworked lungs, and the sound only brought joy to the vampire’s ears. It wasn’t uncommon for them to toy with their meal, especially when it had taken to an atrocity such as forging. Metzli scoffed to themself at the thought, lamenting the dead prospect of attaining a Renoir. 

The man who called himself Henry brought in a lackluster forgery, offending the vampire within seconds. Metzli’s body reacted far quicker than they had anticipated, forcing the pursuit to begin immediately, much to both their delight and chagrin. They preferred to be a little more calculated than that, but they supposed it couldn’t be helped. There was no other option than to go along with it.

The chase was lasting longer than it took them to see through the prey’s facade. Which, to the idiot’s credit, he was determined to sneak a fast one to the best curator in the state. Metzli had to give him some credit for mustering the cajones to try, though. The vampire knew rumors spread quickly about how people like Henry went missing after a failed swindle at Muertarte. Now he was going to be next.

He’d been watching the guy for a while now. Henry — though Emilio had figured out pretty quickly that that wasn’t his real name — had his hand in the door in so many illegal activities that it was almost impressive. At first, the detective had assumed he was a siren, or maybe a spriggan. Now, he wasn’t so sure. 

His latest client was one of many people who’d been swindled by the guy and, if it were just the swindling and the stealing, Emilio wouldn’t have given much of a shit. People stealing from each other rarely blipped on his particular moral radar given the number of times he’d been in a position where he had to steal something himself, and the people who tended to come to him about it typically had enough money to throw around that it was more of an ego blow than anything significant. But ‘Henry’ wasn’t just stealing. His rap sheet was longer than that. And more than a few things on that rap sheet made Emilio figure that, human or not, somebody needed to take the guy out.

Today was planned as a recon mission. Watch the guy on his latest scam, take a few notes, put together whatever version of a ‘plan’ someone like Emilio was capable of coming up with. (Not much of one, Rosa used to say. Em’s plans are just ‘stab here,’ when you really get down to it. She’d always known him better than most.) He wasn’t looking to make contact, but when ‘Henry’ peeled out like the damn house was on fire and nearly took Emilio out in an attempt to shove past him… Well, there was no time like the present, was there? 

“Hey, what’s the rush?” He shoved the man backwards, slamming him against the brick wall. “You know, it’s funny that I’d run into you. I was hoping we’d get the chance to talk.” A knife slipped from his sleeve and into his hand, and he held it up briefly to keep Henry from trying to run. It didn’t seem as effective as it normally might have; the man shoved against the hunter’s grip desperately, unable to break the hold but clearly panicking more than he should have been. Christ, Emilio thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It’s just a fucking knife. What a goddamn baby. 

In any case, it was clear that there’d be no conversation that was anything less than entirely one-sided. He might as well get the killing out of the way so he could move on to the next case. “All right,” he relented. “Guess we won’t talk. Not much good at it, anyway. Prefer the fun part.” He shifted his grip, preparing to drive the blade home.

Metzli’s path was cut short given the new body in their field of vision. The man seemed to know the vampire’s meal, and while that should’ve deterred them, it only made their mouth water. Made their pupils turn into mere points as they widened their eyes with a quiet snarl. No way a silly man was going to take what was rightfully theirs. 

Wasting no time, they positioned themself above the pair, listening for the right moment to drop. Their ears perked at the finiality in the man’s voice, signaling to Metzli that it was the right time to quite literally let go and let gravity do its thing. 

They landed with a dull thud just behind the would-be assassin, granting the vampire the opportunity to reach around, take Henry’s head, and smash it into the wall, rendering him unconscious. With him taken care of, Metzli grabbed the stranger from behind, ready to snap his neck as they allowed him to explain why he was trying to take their rightful kill. It likely wouldn’t do much to deter them, but they were just trying to be polite. 

“Few seconds before I kill and take mine.” They spoke in broken English, still trying to get the hang of such a stupid language. “Speak.” Metzli squeezed even tighter for a moment, slipping their leg between the man’s to get him to his knees. Having only one arm, Metzli had learned they had to level the playing field somehow. 

It crept up on him, that feeling that made every hair on the back of his neck stand up at once. A familiar sensation, one Emilio had come to know well throughout his life. As a kid, his mother made sure it was the kind of thing he’d recognize in an instant, stuck him alone with every undead thing she could find just so he’d never be caught off guard. Something dead was closing in. It was enough to give him pause, for a moment.

He figured he could deal with it when this was taken care of, take out that trash once this one had been finished off. And maybe he should have known better. After all, for Emilio, things so rarely went as planned. In any case, he wasn’t expecting the vampire to attack him first. He should have been. After everything he’d been through, he really should have. 

They moved quickly, slamming Henry’s head against the wall and turning him to dead weight in the hunter’s arms. Emilio scowled as he was grabbed and yanked around, hand shooting into his coat pocket to retrieve a stake that pressed against the vampire’s chest in an instant, leaving the two of them in a standoff. The vampire, with their hand gripping the slayer’s throat, and Emilio, with his stake pressed against their skin but not yet breaking through. 

“Don’t see your name on it.” There was another familiar shiver down his spine at their accent, at the way it curled around words not yet familiar. Similar to his own, a sure sign that they’d probably both be a lot more comfortable doing this in Spanish. Even with the realization, Emilio refused to fall into the comfort of his first language. He was just petty enough to make things harder on himself if it meant he could also make them harder on someone else, too. His bad leg screamed as the vampire tried to force him to his knees but, using enhanced strength that they must not have realized he had just yet, he managed to stay on his feet in spite of it. “There are plenty of other people to kill. Why go through so much trouble for this specific one?” It would be easy to just let them have it. Emilio wanted the man dead, but he didn’t particularly care how it happened. But stubbornness ran through his veins in a way that wouldn’t let him give in to anything undead, even if he wasn’t losing anything in the process. 

The dance was a familiar one, sharp and furious with a speed that only few knew how to sync with. Especially when the parties were never meant to keep pace with one another. It looked to Metzli that the man had experienced his fair share of tangos, moving to the music of danger and chaos. A delicate and unstable crescendo of instruments that usually came in the form of sharp metal and flesh. 

This time though, wood decided to join in on the symphony, and much to Metzli’s dismay, the musician had no intention of putting it down. They squeezed tighter around his neck, snarling at the lack of tact in his demeanor. Figuring him to be a hunter given the obvious, they decided to use their words instead of their teeth. Not the route they truly wanted to take, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, as if they had any other option anyway.

“And your name? Do not see it on him.” Metzli hissed, letting their body sink into the stake ever so slightly without ever changing their expression. There was no pain to be felt since Eloy taught them to numb themself to it. They really should have cared more, if only for their dress shirt. It ripped at the chest, rendering it trash. Oh well, Metzli supposed. They had to deal with trash first anyhow.  

“Attack my business. My kill.” They admitted with a monotone, looking toward the body. “Why you care? Did he do a crime on you?”

The pressure around his throat increased, but Emilio didn’t falter. His glare bore into the vampire, even as the added pressure made breathing a little more difficult. He’d faced far worse than this; strangulation was one of the first things his mother taught him to endure, long before he was old enough to be locked in rooms with the undead and expected to survive the encounters. If anything, this was easier than most of the training that had preceded it. The vampire had only one hand to squeeze his airway shut with. His mother had always used two.

Of course, the vampire wasn’t backing down any more than Emilio was. In a way, he was almost glad for it. With the asshole behind him unconscious, he’d need something to entertain himself, something to keep him from falling back into his thoughts. Figuring out whether or not he wanted to drive this stake home would be a good means of entertainment, he decided. Though, given the way the vampire leaned into the wood, he might not have to make the decision at all. His grip on the stake tightened a little, just in case this was some ploy to get him to release it. He had more in his jacket, of course — his pockets were always weighed down with more weapons than ought to be possible for one man to carry — but it was always best to avoid being taken off guard.

“How do you know? You don’t know my name.” The statement was dry, the kind of thing that might have passed for a joke if the person he’d said it to had had a heartbeat. Tilting his head up slightly, Emilio studied the vampire for a moment. “He’s done a lot worse than attacking businesses. You think you have a right to him because he lost you money? Hurt your pride?”

Of course the hunter was difficult, they were trained to be. And really, Metzli had a little sympathy for the cretins. There were similarities in upbringings. Torture disguised as training, desensitization used as a ploy to create soldiers and mold them to feel nothing even as white-hot pain threatened to pierce through their steeled flesh. It would be easy to acknowledge that, to find some sort of common ground, but as two warriors on opposite sides of the never-ending war, that truth would never come out without crimson staining their skin. Without boring into each other’s eyes as their torture mirrored one another to give them pause, just as it had for the vampire.

For the first time in a while, Metzli’s eyes were reflected back at them, letting some form of emotion creep in ever so slightly. Something in his eyes hovered like a ghost, like anything that returned from the dead. Those only come back for two things. Love or revenge. And the man in front of them wasn’t around for the former.

“Do not need to know name.” They practically tutted with annoyance at having to speak English when the person in front of them had an obvious accent. Metzli chocked it up to his innate need to do nothing for the undead but kill them. It didn’t matter anyway. They’d just speak in their native tongue and let it be one-sided. He could answer in English if he wanted. “Forgers always have more cons and far worse backgrounds, especially when they think they can steal from me. Which he didn’t because I am not an idiot.”

Metzli shoved the hunter away with a kick to his stomach, completely tearing their shirt. They groaned quietly, wishing they had worn a binder, but they were satisfied nonetheless. There was distance between them now, and their kill was just behind them. All they needed to do was pick him up and ignore the nuisance in front of them. “What is it they call it here? Dibs? I have dibs. Now leave.”

In truth, the expression on the vampire’s face was a familiar one. Emilio had seen it in the mirror more often than he’d care to admit. The careful blankness of it, the way they refused to let anything even remotely human shine through. They had more of an excuse for that than he did, all things considered; physically, Emilio was as human as he’d ever been. He just didn’t feel like it anymore. Everything that had ever made him feel like a person had been stripped from him in that massacre, and everything left now served only to remind him of what he’d lost. He wondered if it was easier not having to hear your own heartbeat, not having to fill your lungs with air. They were both dead things walking. Emilio just happened to look it a little less.

“Wouldn’t tell you, anyway.” Odds were, they’d recognize it. And if things were tense now, he couldn’t imagine they’d get any better with his family’s reputation between them. Part of him wanted to say it anyway, wanted to welcome the inevitable fight that would come with it, but he held back. His pride was the only thing that could outweigh his melancholy and as much as he might want to make a martyr of himself, he wasn’t about to let a vampire be the one to end him. 

He clicked his tongue as the vampire continued in Spanish. “Stupid enough to chase him through the streets. Should have taken care of him on the spot. Would have had less competition.” Continuing in English put him on an uneven playing field, he knew. He wasn’t good with English. (Frankly, he wasn’t much better with Spanish — Elena Cortez had never had much interest in teaching her children to speak. A blade didn’t need to know how to carry on a conversation.) But Spanish was the vampire’s preferred language, and Emilio didn’t like the idea of giving them anything they preferred. Forcing his half of the conversation into a language that didn’t fit well in either of their mouths might be inconvenient for him, but it was inconvenient for them, too. That was what mattered. 

The kick wasn’t entirely unexpected, but he grunted as it knocked the wind out of him all the same. The stake remained tight in his grip, ripping the vampire’s shirt as it went backwards with him and his eyes darted down to ensure that it was undamaged enough to avoid needing replacement. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the mark on the vampire’s now-exposed chest. It was a familiar one. His uncle had sketched it out once, pointing to the curves of it carefully. His mother made Emilio and his siblings memorize it, along with others. Eventually, they would have been expected to take action against the clan, as they had others. It was this particular mission, the one to rid Mexico of any vampire clan that kicked up dirt within the country’s borders, that led to Victor’s death. But not this particular clan. This clan, Emilio had learned, was torn apart much later and from the inside. One of the leader’s own lieutenants, for reasons that evidently hadn’t been a power grab given the way the entire group dissipated once the leader was dead. “You’re a long way from home, no? Though I guess you don’t have much of one anymore. Los Sombras del Sur. Trying to stay relevant?” 

A low rumble thrummed in Metzli’s chest, a growl quietly escaping their mouth, dripping with irritation. It didn’t really make a difference that the hunter was from their homeland, but it didn’t help. A hunter was as much of a pest as a rat, though that was insulting to the rodent population. What made a real difference was the fact that he knew exactly what clan Metzli was from. Not exactly surprising, they supposed. They just didn’t want to be associated with a life that took everything from them. Being relevant had nothing to do with it. 

“Had nothing before, have nothing now. You are an idiot if you think being of any sort of relevance was an option in that clan.” Metzli nearly laughed, but all that happened was a smile began to form. As if it was noticeable. “All that mattered was Master Eloy. Killing him myself fixed that. His and the clan’s existence are done. I imagine you would be easy in comparison to an elder, but I have no use in killing you.” 

They kept their eyes trained on the man, watching for any signs of an attack. So much as a twitch, and Metzli would be on the prowl. For the time being though, they unsheathed their knife and plunged it into Henry’s neck in one fluid motion as crimson eyes bore into the darkness. If they couldn’t take the kill with their teeth, they were spiteful enough to do it with a boring and tasteless blade. At the very least, the sound and smell of sweet iron made their throat and muscles tense. A hungry monster was dangerous. Add intelligence in there, and one had a lot of trouble coming their way. To make matters worse, at least for the slayer, the monster in front of him had a well-known name in Mexico’s supernatural ecosystem. 

It was a fair assessment of the clan, though Emilio was surprised they were the one making it. Typically, vampires were more loyal to the clans they’d come up in. It was an irritation at best — it meant you couldn’t take on the leader of any clan without taking on the rest of them, too, meant that you were never fighting a battle with just one person, meant that anyone manipulated or forced into it wound up as collateral damage. His mother would hate that line of thinking, Emilio knew, but he’d seen plenty of supernatural people who weren’t all bad. Even undead ones. They didn’t all deserve to die, even if the vast majority of them did. But clans, and the elders who lead them, had a tendency to force the people under them into submission. 

Some with less efficiency than others, apparently. A faint expression of vague interest crossed his face as they mentioned killing Eloy, and he wondered if it was true or if it was just some attempt at intimidation. It was plausible enough. He knew the leader of Los Sombras del Sur had been killed by a lieutenant, knew that the lieutenant had survived the ordeal, and had no idea where they’d wound up after. He’d been a little too busy losing everything to keep up with the specifics of what anyone else was doing around that time. 

Any begrudging respect he might have had, though, dissipated as the vampire continued, and he rolled his eyes. “If you did do what you’re claiming,” he said, “you ought to know better than to underestimate an opponent. I may not be as easy to kill as you think.” Plenty others had tried, over the years, and Emilio was still standing. Sometimes, he let himself believe that that meant something. 

He watched the knife bury itself in Henry’s neck with a sigh, rolling his eyes again. He didn’t much care who killed the criminal, at the end of the day. A dead man was still dead, no matter who delivered the fatal blow. But it was a little annoying, if only because the vampire was beginning to grate on him. He didn’t tend to hang around the undead for more than a few moments at a time unless he was ‘questioning’ one, and that faint buzz alerting him to their presence got old after a while. “Great,” he said dryly. “You gonna come at me next? Be polite to give me a warning.”It was the vampire’s turn to roll their eyes. Not only was the Spanish one-sided when it didn’t need to be, they hated when the need to repeat themself arose. Speaking held such little value in comparison to actions. People always tended to fluff up their words and misdirect; lie by any means in order to sate their needs. Metzli didn’t care for lying. So much so that they even detested things like diet soda. It was just a drink lying about being soda. Not even mixing blood in it could make it taste good. The very thought made Metzli want to grimace, but they had a more important matter to take care of first. 

“I killed him, and I did not underestimate you. I merely made an assessment. Which, mind you, I would not be surprised if you proved wrong. Hunters are nothing if not persistent.” Metzli licked the knife, barely humming as the taste coated their tongue with a sweet and savory flavor that they could never get tired of. They had no other choice, not really; all thanks to the fateful bite Eloy bestowed upon them. There wasn’t much use crying over it, and it wasn’t like they would at that moment. It had been many decades since they last shed a tear anyhow. 

“I told you already that I had no use killing you. That includes hurting you. I provoked you when I went after my kill, and now he is dead. My job here is done.” Finishing the final remnants of blood on their knife, Metzli sheathed their knife and studied the body on the ground. Maybe it was the wrong call, but they didn’t feel threatened anymore. If the man wanted to make any sort of attack, they were confident they could handle it. “If you won’t tell me your name though, I will at least tell you mine since you are the least annoying hunter I have met.” Metzli turned back to the slayer, “Metzli Bernal. A pleasure...” They bowed at the waist, sighing when they returned to standing upright. “Whatever your name is.”

It was hard to tell when a vampire was being honest. In some ways, Emilio almost envied wardens for that — at least the monsters they hunted couldn’t spin lies to try to tangle them up with. The safe thing to do, his mother would say, was to assume that anything undead was always being dishonest, to trust those with a heartbeat and discount those without one. But Emilio no longer found things to be so clear-cut. After all, Lucio’s heart had been beating strong when he’d sold his family out. Breath in his lungs and warmth on his skin hadn’t stopped that. And this vampire, in this moment, didn’t seem to be lying.

Maybe, a few years ago, Emilio would have been some version of impressed. Killing an elder wasn’t easy, even for a vampire. He never would have admitted to any respect it might have earned them, of course — doing so while his mother was alive, when it might make it back to her, would have been about as smart as sticking a fork in a light socket and ten times as dangerous — but there might have been some there. These days, though… It was hard to feel much beyond the grief and the anger he’d buried himself in. Most days, all he was was sorry. “I’ve been called persistent, sure.” He got the feeling they didn’t mean it as a compliment, but he’d heard far worse insults.

“Oh, most you could do is try. I’m sturdier than I look.” Still, there was something… interesting about it. A vampire stepping back, leaving a hunter be. His mother would have said such a thing was impossible. Of course, his mother would have stuck a blade in his gut for standing here and having a conversation when there was a perfectly good stake in his hand, so it might be best to take her voice in his head with a grain of salt this time. “Emilio,” he replied, making no move to offer anything beyond his first name. “You’re not the most annoying vampire I’ve met, I guess. But I don’t think I’d call you the least, either.” He inclined his head back towards the corpse now sitting against the wall. “I’m not getting rid of that. You killed him, you take care of the body. Anything else’d be shit manners.” 

Surprise nearly painted across Metzli’s features, not expecting the slayer named Emilio to reveal himself. Wasn’t usual for either side to behave so amicably. It was always bite first, ask questions later. Safer that way for each party. Attacking first meant no one could catch you with your guard down. While Metzli’s wasn’t entirely up, they still had a layer of caution in every movement, knowing that any wrong move could prove catastrophic. Until then, they decided to go along with whatever the two were creating. It wasn’t a friendship or alliance, but it was something along the lines of a temporary tolerance. If such a thing were possible in their world. 

With a sigh, they planted their hand on their hip, looking at the body with a shrug. “You’re right. It is  only fair. I will get rid of him. My friend will consume it. Bones and all.” Metzli gestured vaguely to the body, crouching down to assess how bad the cleanup would be. They tutted to themself, a small chastise for letting their pettiness get the better of them. It was a petulant outburst, but they hardly regretted taking something from a slayer. In spite of this, they still had manners. Metzli was no heathen. Not even to a sworn enemy. “No trace back to you, Emilio. No…shit manners here.”

Metzli stood erect again with a bemused hum, looking down at the man with a blank expression. He’d half-complimented a vampire of all things, and that was an alluring act. It deserved some investigation. “Are you a…what do they call it here?” They tapped their chin, trying to find the right term. “Oh. I remember. A coconut? You have the accent but speak no Spanish.” It was more of a taunting jab to get Emilio to speak their tongue, but their face or tone of voice gave no indication of that. Metzli wasn’t a funny person and they didn’t normally partake in jokes because they were never allowed to—never learned to, but they certainly could now, when it benefited them enough. That was the beauty of their hard-earned freedom. 

Their friend. It seemed a surprising confession to make, given everything. Context clues allowed him to guess that their friend was also undead. If ‘friend’ wasn’t a term that mostly meant ‘pet,’ he could assume that whoever it was was also sentient enough to have friends, which made him lean towards zombie. Part of him itched at that, the same way it always did when he got wind of something undead. Some habits, some thought processes were hard to break free from, and Emilio’s upbringing had left such little room for exceptions when it came to the undead. But this vampire had taken care of a problem back in Mexico, and they weren’t attacking him now. If anything, their goals seemed to align somewhat with his — taking out people who needed taking out. He could give them a momentary benefit of the doubt.

He could always kill them later, if he had to. Right now, he meant it about expecting them to get rid of the body. Lugging corpses around wasn’t nearly as easy as it had once been now that he had a bum leg and a body that hadn’t been properly taken care of in years. “I’ll hold you to that. Anybody comes sniffing, I throw your ass under the bus.” Though he wouldn’t let them be arrested. A vampire in a human prison wouldn’t end well for anyone involved, and assisting the police in any way had never been of much interest to Emilio. More likely, if the police came sniffing around, he’d pay off Javier for an alibi and stake the vampire out of spite. 

As they continued, he stiffened a little. The term wasn’t one he knew, but based on context clues, he knew he didn’t like it. The attempt to coerce him into speaking their shared native tongue was a smart one; Emilio had always responded to jabs before thinking over their motivation. “I speak Spanish when I want to,” he said irritably, the words rolling off his tongue in Spanish so much easier than they ever would have come in English. “It’s not my fault my English is better than yours. Maybe you need the practice.” The taunt wasn’t entirely fair, given the fact that his English really wasn’t much better than the vampire’s and certainly wasn’t good, but Emilio tended to respond to perceived insults in kind.

Emilio was a funny guy, it seemed. Hot-headed but somehow calculated all at once. As an older man, an older hunter, Metzli supposed he had to be a decent mixture of the two if he’d lived this long to be considered that. Hunters his age were short on supply thanks to their dangerous occupation. They were indeed sturdy, like many of the people they hunted, but it was often that roles were reversed in an instant in the heat of battle. Whoever falls as prey, loses their life. Emilio was fortunate—or possibly unfortunate given what Metzli knew of families in their line of work—to have never fallen as prey. They wondered if it was that careful humor he held within him. It certainly gave the vampire pause. Enough to not wish to kill him. Yet. 

“Ah, so not a coconut?” Metzli grunted with amusement, taking a seat next to the dead body to scan Emilio a little further. They could hear how elevated his heartbeat was, but it was much better than it was when they first pounced on him. If they didn’t know any better, Metzli would have to guess that his current bps was simply his baseline. Another gift from the job. Had the vampire had a heart, they thought maybe theirs would be the same, possibly even hiccuping with anger at the privileged choice of words. Not that Emilio was privileged by any means. He was just sounding a lot like those kinds of people. America may have sunk its teeth too far in, much to their chagrin. 

“Calm down. You will start sounding like all those Americans who tell us to go back to our homeland.” Emilio responded to jabs, so Metzli gave another, hoping to irritate him into behaving. “I just got here not too long ago. After killing Eloy, they told me to leave Mexico, but they did not exactly make it easy to do so.” They shrugged, rubbing at their shoulder in an attempt to hide their smile. It was nice to speak and hear their native language, even under those circumstances. “I will learn in time. Our people are resilient and determined. What about you though? Why America? This is not your home.”

“No. Not that.” It was strange, speaking to them in Spanish. Emilio might have claimed it was because they were undead, though it wasn’t entirely true. His native tongue felt like something of a double-edged sword, these days. It was the language he’d used to sing his daughter to sleep at night, but it was also the language spoken by the monsters who had killed her. His nephew hadn’t known a word of English, and neither had his murderer. It was the language with which his mother had praised him when he did well, but also the language she’d used to berate him for his every mistake. Both knife and salve, somehow, making wounds and repairing them in the same strike. 

Gritting his teeth in irritation, he waved a hand in Metzli’s direction at the accusation. He’d had the same experience, of course, throughout his time in the States. Strangers hurling insults because of the way his words came out wrong, scoffing at the way he didn’t always understand the things they said. But this kind of teasing was different when it came from someone who shared your heritage. Less a toss off a cliff face, more a playful shove.

Their question, though, gave him pause. Staying in Mexico would have been dangerous for him, to be sure. The vampires who had ripped through his town and killed his family would be chomping at the bit to take out the final member, with even those who hadn’t been a part of the massacre eager to earn the bragging rights that would come with wiping the Cortez line off the map. But that wasn’t why Emilio left. He hadn’t been trying to save himself, hadn’t been looking to spare his own life. It was somehow both simpler and more complicated than that. “I don’t have a home,” he replied, shrugging a shoulder. “Not here or there.” 

“Hm…” Metzli leaned back against the tree, nearly fully relaxing. It was becoming easier to, especially with the developing rose-colored glasses. Coming to a compromise with an enemy had a cathartic element to it. Cemented the idea that monsters could have light behind their eyes, not just motivated by bloodlust. By rage. Quiet and simmering entities that were empty, dark, and full of malevolence. An all-consuming combination that left its host feeling as if their mind was not their own. 

In Metzli’s case, it wasn’t, and they didn’t know Emilio all that well to speak for him and find common ground in that like everything else they had so far. “I see…I do not either.” They finally replied, close to feeling something. Metzli was a bit more inclined to try to relate to someone when they could compare wounds, and the loss on Emilio was evident. They were surprised they even tried, all things considered. Emilio was a hunter—a slayer, but he had paused. This, in turn, compelled the vampire to extend themself to him. Fight against every instinct to tear at his skin.

“You have my condolences.” Eloy had brewed his monsters together himself and made every fledgling his. He controlled the entity in them, and when he felt any semblance of defiance, he disciplined quickly. Took more of their essence and replaced it with that darkness. Metzli thought they’d get themself back when they killed Eloy, but his death left much to be desired. Whoever they were, they were still lost. All that was left was a numb and dark beast, somehow managing to feel the faintest sparks. Of what though, they didn’t know. Perhaps it was that empathy Honey talked so often about. The thing that made her shed tears when Metzli gathered their thoughts enough to speak about how they felt about their experiences coherently. Had to be. It was a humorous idea. A vampire empathizing with a slayer. But Metzli was nothing if not defiant. They’d always encompassed that trait.

Emilio grunted in response to the vampire’s statement, unsure how to feel about it. He wasn’t certain if they were trying to relate to him or simply stating a fact. He wasn’t sure which option would be preferable. Even now, even after having decided that he wouldn’t be killing them in this moment unless they made it a necessity, he wasn’t sure how to feel about having things in common with one of the things he’d been taught to hunt all his life. Elena Cortez had raised her children up with a mentality that forced a strict way of thinking, and while the birth of Emilio’s daughter had broken some of that spell… it was a hard thing to shake in its entirety. 

Perhaps that was why he bristled when Metzli offered their condolences, why every muscle in his body seemed to tense at once. Or, more likely, maybe this was a reaction he would have had from anyone who offered such a thing. Condolences spoke of a grief that Emilio had been desperately trying to replace with anger since the tragedy that birthed it. Accepting them would place him on a ledge he wasn’t sure he could balance for long. “I don’t want condolences. It is what it is.” There was no home to return to, and that was fine. There were no people to miss him, and that was better. That was by design. He’d left Rhett behind for a reason, after all. 

Deciding a change in subject was necessary, Emilio spoke again. “This town, you live here? You said you had a business.” 

The teeth in the slayer’s words didn’t sting, didn’t leave a mark. It was a small nip from a big dog, demanding Metzli to step away from their offer. They could understand, to a degree. Accepting their condolences would not only mean he’d have to concede his teachings on what vampires were to him, but also acknowledge his loss. “Fine. I did not want it either when my town was massacred.” Metzli ran too—had been running since they learned how to shut themself off from the world. It was easier that way. That’s what they told themself. But the reality of it was that the pain was inevitable, came in waves that could make one drown if they didn’t learn how to swim away. And it appeared both Metzli and Emilio were very good swimmers.

“Yes, I live here. I own the art gallery in town. If you hear of forgers going missing in this area, it is likely my doing. Do not care for liars or dishonorable thieves.” One would think there was no such thing as honor in the act of stealing, but Metzli believed there was. Not everyone was dealt an easy hand, and when they were younger themself, they had taken to stealing food. But stealing highly sought after art that was worth thousands, if not millions. Well, that wasn’t exactly just a necessity, was it? That money was used for far more than just living costs and regular daily expenses. There was a bigger operation, and now Metzli knew both sides intimately. Their beliefs are the reason a shipment of crates that took food from the poor went “missing” during one of Eloy’s many missions. Sadly, like Henry, they were caught and promptly punished, leaving them with one less arm.

“I worked hard to get the business started, and idiots like him,” Metzli pointed a thumb at Henry, “Are usually in with more than just forgery. Trafficking, murder, torture…” They tutted as they shook their head, with a grimace painted on their face. “Rather get rid of them.” Pausing for a moment, Metzli tilted their head, growing curious. “And you? Do you live in town as well?”

Metzli’s statement about their town was so familiar that Emilio had to stop himself from flinching at the words. He wondered, for a moment, if they’d recognized him from the start and were only playing with him now, if they knew exactly what he’d lost and were just pretending not to in order to lower his guard. The paranoia that lived in his chest forced a lump into his throat, insisting that this must be the case, that Metzli was toying with him the same way they’d been toying with the dead man in the alley behind them. He shook the thought from his head as best he could, trying to force it from his mind. If Metzli was telling the truth about who they were — and Emilio had no reason to think they weren’t — they had even fewer connections in Mexico than he did. There was hardly any threat of them running off and telling those left over from the massacre in Etla where to find him. And even if they did… That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? To face the monsters that tore his family from him head on. To keep going until everyone responsible for that massacre was dust, or to die trying. That was all he was good for now. 

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he nodded curtly. “I won’t offer any condolences. For any of it. I think we both know I would be lying if I did.” Harsh, maybe, but honest. He liked to think they’d appreciate that more than a pretty lie. And they were being honest enough with him, too, admitting to ‘taking care’ of forgers and thieves around town. It wasn’t quite what Emilio did — he tended to focus more on violent criminals than thieves, though many like Henry fell into both categories — but he could understand it nonetheless. Art thieves were rarely people worth mourning. “Hope you’re usually more discreet about it than this,” he said, nodding to Henry’s corpse. There was something almost akin to a lilt in his tone. The undead rarely saw Emilio’s version of a joke unless he dealt it out with a heap of pain on top of it, but the fact that Metzli hadn’t come at him again meant he was a little closer to whatever kind of ‘at ease’ he could manage, these days. 

“Yeah. I was after him for something like that.” He pulled out his phone, flipping clumsily through a few photos in his gallery before turning the screen around to display a photo of a young woman smiling at the camera. “Was looking into him for something else, and her name came up. They found her on a hiking trail in Florida. Didn’t have enough on him to send him away for it, but it was him. Probably came here to get away from it.” He pulled the phone back, locking it and sliding it back into his pocket. “Some things you shouldn’t be allowed to get away from.” He didn’t care much about the client Henry had swindled, though that had been what put him on the man’s trail. If it were only that, Emilio probably would have been a bit more angry about the corpse on the ground, upset that he’d have to find some way to give the client an update that would still allow him to be paid even when he couldn’t tell the client what became of the problem. But there were some things far more important than all that, and this was one of them. Henry got what was coming to him. Henry got off easy. Glancing back up to meet the vampire’s eyes, the hunter shrugged. “For now. Don’t know if I’ll stay.” It wasn’t entirely true. He’d set up a business for himself here, which meant he was staying for the foreseeable future. But he wasn’t in the habit of sharing that sort of thing with undead strangers, even if he’d decided that Metzli wasn’t the worst person around. It was always better to give away too little than too much. 

Metzli grunted with amusement, not usually one to laugh. To do so, a person would have to feel free to do so. “I was feeling a little more fun than usual. The night was quiet enough for it.” Even with Eloy dead, liberation still didn’t feel real. There always seemed to be some sort of shadow looming just over Metzli’s shoulder, waiting to discipline. For them, that freedom came in cautious waves, leaving them anxious for hours, but painting smiles on those who motivated the sound to ring out. They knew freedom came at a cost, and in time, they’d pay less and less. As frustrating as that was. At least Emilio was funny without being overly so. Metzli wouldn’t know how to handle feeling free or at ease thanks to a slayer.

“You are not so bad.” Again, the vampire grunted. Emilio may not have made a joke, but the overt honesty was somehow humorous. A hunter showed a bit of kindness in not lying, a sort of respect toward a vampire. Metzli saw the irony in it, and then they smiled, genuinely. “You speak plain and your humor is dark. I do hope you stay in town if only for jobs like these.” They nudged their head toward Henry, “Human or…” Their hand gestured to themself, “Not. Species doesn’t really matter. Anyone can be worthy of death.”

With a sigh, Metzli looked at their watch and quirked a brow. It had been far longer than they thought, and now they were late to seeing Honey. She’d understand when they showed up with a body, but punctuality was something Metzli favored. “Hm…I must leave, unfortunately. Have to meet my friend. Do you think you could at least take care of the blood? Consider me owing you a favor. You seem like fun to work with anyway.”

It was strange, the fact that this vampire had the same idea as ‘fun’ as Emilio himself. Even now, part of him felt nauseous at the concept, stomach clenching in a way that reminded him of nights full of far too much whiskey without the pleasant numbness that preceded it. It wasn’t as bad as it would have been years ago, when his mother was alive and anything that might pass as rebellion filled him with a dread so heavy his lungs were crushed by the weight of it. Punishment in the Cortez household was always swift and brutal, but it was the disappointment Emilio had always feared more. He’d known, for a long time, that he wasn’t his mother’s favorite child. He’d never quite found a way to be okay with that. 

He shook the thought off as best he could, coming back to himself in time for Metzli’s compliment to nearly send him spiraling right back down. Instead, he managed a quiet grunt that might have been some kind of affirmation. “Most people don’t like my jokes.” Juliana had, up until the point where that budding resentment between them meant she didn’t like much of anything Emilio had to say. Rosa had always laughed at them, but part of him wondered if some of that was just politeness. The only person who’d ever really thought Emilio was funny with any kind of consistency was Flora, and it was difficult to tell how much of that was just a child idolizing her father. “I tend to lean more towards the not. But… Humans can be just as bad. Worse, sometimes.” He still resented Lucio far more than he resented the vampires his uncle had sold them all out to, after all. 

With a sigh, Emilio glanced down at the corpse. The blood spray wasn’t bad, but cleanup had never been his favorite part of the job. It was part of why he preferred to stick to vampires — they had the good manners to turn to dust when you stabbed them. Made cleanup a hell of a lot easier. But a bit of blood was far easier to get rid of than an entire corpse, so the compromise seemed like a fair one. Especially fair, when you factored in the favor Metzli promised they’d owe him. “I’ll be holding you to that. Go, get rid of this. Consider the blood taken care of.” If nothing else, he’d learned the best practices for cleaning up blood through years of dealing with his own staining his clothes and floor. “I’ll be seeing you, Metzli Bernal.” It was either a threat or a promise. Emilio wasn’t quite sure which. 

#muertarte #metzli: dangerous things #wickedswriting #head trauma tw #s1 writing #season 1

[michaelmilligan]

Endversetober Day Two: Found

(explanation post) (compilation post)

The camp looked pitiful. Then again, every place in the world looked wrecked and hopeless nowadays.

Vaguely, Gabriel remembered a line from a song: The broken, the beaten and the damned.

That described humanity pretty well these days.

Gabriel didn't take himself for a saviour, and it certainly wasn't a role that his father had chosen for him. If it had been up to the old man, he would have been a messenger until the end of time.

Though to be fair, he had also been tasked with killing demons several times. Just not his own.

He walked slowly, careful not to be noticed by anyone as he made his way into the camp. Luckily, there weren't that many people about in the dead of night, except for a few guards.

Good to always be prepared for a zombie attack these days. Not so good for an archangel trying to sneak into a human camp to talk to his brother.

Not that Gabriel was scared of those guys' rifles or anything. But if he was seen (and shot at), it would become a whole thing, and he might have to kill some people. Castiel might be a bit put out then.

Besides, there were few enough humans as it was. Gabriel wasn't exactly eager to thin their numbers further.

There was rustling from behind him, and Gabriel slipped between two cabins, willing the shadow to be just that bit darker around him. Maybe it wouldn't even have been necessary, because the guy who bustled past didn't even look up, eyes trained on some kind of list in his hands.

It was the prophet, Gabriel realized, that Carver Edlund guy or whatever his real name was. Gabriel wondered if he still had any visions these days. Maybe Castiel would know, provided that he'd be willing to talk to Gabriel at all.

Talking to the prophet himself was out of the question. Heaven might have been closed at the time, but that didn't mean that Raphael had abandoned their duty of watching the guy. Who knew what they'd do if Gabriel came too close to him.

Better to stay off his siblings' radar, as he'd done for the last few centuries.

Castiel's cabin was at the back of the camp, and it was even more pitiful than the other ones. It didn't even have a door. Or rather, Gabriel realized as he stepped closer, it didn't have a functioning door.

There was one in the grass, rotting, a big crack down its middle.

Someone had hung weird beads in the doorway in its stead. Gabriel wondered if that had been Castiel's own idea.

As he stepped into the cabin, a chair creaked, and Gabriel spotted Castiel in a corner of the room, one foot popped up on a second chair. He was rubbing his eyes.

When he finally focused on Gabriel, he tensed and reached for a gun. “Who are you?” he asked threateningly.

There was stubble on Castiel's chin, and he looked unwashed. One of his pant legs had been cut open a few inches to accommodate the cast around his foot and ankle.

It was entirely bizarre.

“I'm hurt, Cassie,” Gabriel said sarcastically, swaggering further into the room. “You don't recognize me?”

More creaking as Castiel leaned forward, blinking in the dim light of the room. Then, suddenly, his eyes widened.

“Gabriel?” he asked, gaping and breathless.

“'Sup, bro.”

“You're dead!” It sounded like an accusation.

It probably was one.

“Stories of my demise, etc. etc.” Gabriel waved his hand dismissively, then put it on the second chair, the one with Castiel's foot on it, when he stopped next to it. “What happened to you?”

“I broke my foot.” While Csatiel didn't put away the gun, he at least placed it over his lap, and reached for a glass full of brown-ish liquid.

“How does an angel break his foot? Why don't you heal it?” Looking him up and down, Gabriel was starting to get an idea why, but he wanted to hear it.

“I'm not an angel anymore. At least not really.” Castiel sighed. “Why are you here?”

“Wow. Can't an archangel visit his brother? What has the world come to?”

“Desolation,” Castiel said dryly, and took a sip of his drink. “Devastation. The end. Should I go on?”

“Nah, I'm good.” Gabriel watched him down the rest of his glass. “Seriously, though, what happened.”

“Well, Heaven is closed and unlike you archangels, us normies don't produce our own energy.”

“That's why your powers are failing.”

Castiel scoffed. “Oh, they've failed already, all the way. Look at this.” He gestured to his foot. “It's been a week.”

“Damn.” Gabriel sucked on his bottom lip. “You know, I could give you some of my grace, but-”

Castiel laughed. “And then what? At this point, you could probably possess me and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I'm hardly more than human.”

“Humans can still fight,” Gabriel said. He'd seen them go up against an overwhelming army of zombies, and somehow come out victors, with only minimal help from him.

“Yeah, and I plan on doing that. Until I die.” Castiel snatched a bottle from the table and poured himself another glass. “You know, I wonder where I'll end up. The Empty? Or Heaven? It would be very ironic if it were Heaven.”

Gabriel looked at him thoughtfully. He'd hoped to find an ally that day, but instead, here was a fallen angel. Not even corrupted by Hell, but just cut off from Heaven.

A grounded angel, maybe.

“Let's hope you won't find out where you'll go for a very long time,” Gabriel said, stepping closer to pat Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel tensed, but only for a moment. Then he sighed.

“I'm not sure that's what I'm hoping.”

“Well, I do.”

Gabriel left, then, not eager to entertain Castiel's gloominess when he could do nothing to lift it.  Castiel would be of no help to him in this state. Maybe if he'd come sooner... but that was an idle thought now.

All he could give to him, all he left behind, was a single of his feathers. A token to remember him by, perhaps.

He wasn't sure if Castiel could even still see it.

#A brotherly interlude #Gabriel SPN #Endverse!Cas #Quick writing #Endversetober

[naluriswrites]

Take me to your palace

Dream of the Endless x Original Female Character

Summary: Certain beings are out of Dream’s radar. Kallan is one of them and after meeting her by accident, it wasn’t surprising when she became the target of his curiosity.

Author Notes: Hi, hello. Heck, I'm nervous.

Kallan is my OC that I created for the Sandman’s universe and there is a lot to develop about her and her family (so there's a universe extension). So, welcome to a series that I call “writing original characters in universes that I love till have enough to write a full story with them”. I know, it’s a long title.

I wrote after watching the sixth episode, so it’s placed right after Dream’s arrival to speak to Hob. However, I haven't finished the series, so if there's some kind of "canon divergency", my apologies.

This is the first thing I wrote in English (that I1m proud of). So, if it's weird in any way, I'm sorry :/. I'll probably write more with Kallan (I didn't continue because I just wanted to see how my writing would go, so let me know what you guys think!

Anyhow, I hope you like this!

★・・・・・・・★・・・・・・・・★

Dream walked in the bar, fashionably late — just a couple of hundred years. His attention was fully on listening and paying attention to Hob's news. The voices echoing around the new version of a tavern that is centuries old. Something about that encounter was nostalgic, good enough to remind him of his old habits. It almost felt like it should happen everyday — and something inside him wouldn’t complain about doing that more often than a hundred years. Sometimes his duty was… Lonely.

She appeared out of nowhere, dressing in a white uniform and with a bright smile. She catches his eye without any effort, when approached the table next to theirs. He followed her movements, watched as she walked graciously around the saloon, so delicately that it should’ve grabbed everyone’s attention. Was he the only one who saw the way she practically danced around the tables like a ballerina in a scenario that didn’t suit her.

“Did the waitress grab your focus?” Hob asked with a chuckle. Only then, he realised the contortion to follow the woman around the bar. Dream kept his silence, staring at the man in front of him.

The King of Dreams took a deep breath, staring at the other tables for a brief second. He knew everything he had to know about those people, they’re dreams floated around them like neon signs. The waitress appeared once again, leaving in front of a couple pieces of cake and coffee mugs. Weird, he remembered that place only serving beer and lamb. She didn’t have any information, it felt like she was blocked from his own mind.

“The last time you did this, you turned someone into one of the biggest dramatists mankind had,” Hob joked, shaking his head to the sides. He thought of telling that to Hob. He could trust him, couldn’t he? Tell him more than the vague words he used to tell the man. That’s what friends do, after all. And he was waiting for an answer.

“You can ask me about anyone here and I’ll answer where they came from and their dreams,” Dream sneaked a glance to the woman rushing towards the other extreme of that bar. “Anyone, but her. I have no clue who she is.”

Hob stood silent, taking that information bit by bit. Soon, an idea shone upon his face, and a smirk drew itself with the thought. He was confident, which scared Morpheus of what was coming their way.

“Excuse me!” He called out loud, to the woman who was passing by. Dream slowly raised his eyebrows, his gazing moving from the man in front of him to the woman who approached their table.

He had seen her before. Somewhere he didn’t quite remember. The memory of their encounter was blurred and distant, lost in the dunes of the past. It felt like something was trying to keep him in the dark. Even if he had the vague thought of already seeing her, or some younger version, walking in his realm, he still didn’t know who she was. Frustrating.

She smiled softly, standing between them.

“What can I do for you gentlemen today?” She asked politely, her voice felt like velvet, and it was… Tempting. She had a strong accent, not from that land. Perhaps she was from the north. Dream stared at her name tag on the left side of her white uniform shirt. Kallan. He had an idea from where she came, the north, but it was too indeterminate. And he was curious.

“I’m almost pretty sure that I’ve seen you before,” Hob said, eying the other man in front of him. “Could it be from college, maybe? I’m a professor.”

She frowned, trying to search his face in her memories.

“Well, I’m currently taking some English classes in West London College.”

“Oh, that’s where I work. I probably have seen you around the corridors,” she smiled, nodding. Morpheus wondered if it was true, if Hob had really seen her around the college he worked. Maybe not, maybe it was just a lie to get to know anything about her… To help Dream solve the enigma beside them.

“Well, are you guys going to order anything?”

“I’ll have just a beer, please,” she quickly noted the order on her notepad and raised her eyes to Dream. And the world stopped for a moment.

Maybe the blocking got weaker as she stared at him for long seconds. He saw deep in her soul. Pitch black, unlike her bright green eyes. Yet, within all the darkness he could easily see, he did see light blighting everything inside her, pulsing in her heart, making her eyes sparkle in an electric way.

No, he didn’t know who she was, but he knew she was conflictive… In a dangerously curious way.

“I’ll have water, please,” she cleared her throat, nodding with her head. As soon as she left, he turned back to Hob, but his thoughts followed her around.

“Anything?” Hob seemed euphoric. Morpheus gave him a confident smirk.

“A point to start.”

— ¨ —

My heart was still skipping beats with the unexpected encounter.

Sandman, Morpheus, Dream of the Endless.

My mind spun around him all day. I was raised knowing about his existence, but never wanted to be around him. My father used to say it was the same as losing track of time, getting hypnotised and losing the control over your own mind. And after what happened with us centuries ago, staying in the same place as an Endless was too much for me. I have them burnt in my mind, like a white dress with a perpetual wine stain.

I hate to admit it, but I'm sure I'm between friends. So, here it goes:

I feared Morpheus with every inch of my body.

Well, yes, I was raised among “boogie-men” and such, but he was… Different. I feared more the things he could do to me than what he was. And seeing him in front of me, with his clear blue eyes reading my soul like someone reads a book written by a child, made me panic. One thing is to compose love and give it to other people; watching them grow from a distant point of view, far from their reality. Another one, completely different, is to see one of those people who always had unfortunate loves right in front of you. He’s one of those people.

The good side — if there was any — was this: I wasn’t headed to the palace. He was ten times stronger than us; he could tear everything down with the blink of an eye if he wanted to. So, if it was to be punished for God knows what, then I’d prefer to not put anyone in danger.

The goosebumps got worse as I approached my apartment. It was signal coming from the depths of my inner darkness; there was dangerous light around. I could've turned away and run for the hills, but I knew that as soon as I gave in to sleep, he'd find me. So, I turned the lock open, threw my shoes to the side and closed the door behind me. The small living room only had its darkness broken by the city lights. My eyes, used to the dark, scanned the place. Didn't take me long to see his silhouette watching me on the other side of the living room.

My body shivered. He knew she was out of the other humans. “People” like him knew exactly how to search for anomalies among men and would treat all of them with harshness.

Yes, I was expecting the worst.

“I can see you,” I blurted quietly, trying to sound confident. I was, indeed, fearful, but hope is the last one to leave its box. And even if he was the only being in the universe that could kill me and make me stay dead, I was trying my best to keep my mind entertained with the hope running through my veins.

“I know.”

His voice… His goddamn voice is something else. Deep, low. I don’t know if he made it echo in the living room or if it was my sharp hearing, but I could easily hear him. A voice that invites you to sleep, to have a dream in his arms. However, the fear rang in my head, reminding me of the tales, of the past bad experiences I had with his kind.

Keep your reasoning.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know who you are.”

“I’m Kallan.” I answered a truth he didn’t want to hear just to prolong my time thinking of better ways to avoid blurting everything out, it wasn't just me who could get affected with it.  Within seconds I understood that his silence ordered the right answer. “The humans like to call me Eros… Or Cupid.”

My voice reverbed in the dark space between us. I felt his gaze turn darker, angry. Viktor was right, we shouldn’t have messed with the Endless, especially Morpheus. I heard he was merciless with certain things and probably that was one of the things.

I wanted to turn myself into darkness and leave the apartment, but I knew it’d be useless.

“You…”

I knew how his relationship with love was. Not good; everything ended in tragedy. And it wouldn’t surprise me if he saw me as the guilty one. Everyone blamed me for their unfortunate loves. It’s better to blame me than acknowledge their own mistakes.

I try my best for all the loves around the world. I swear. I’m hopeful, everyone deserves a chance to be successful in love, everyone deserves to love and be loved… But Morpheus was a difficult type, he didn’t seem to even want to collaborate with love, which turned my task terribly tough to handle. I hate to see my creations failing. I hate to feel that I am a failure.

I tried so many times that I can't even count on my fingers. Rejection after rejection. "Stop being so stubborn. He doesn't want it" Thomas used to say when he caught me late at night, trying to figure out a way to make him... Give up. Yes, it became a competition with myself to see if I could do it.

“That’s not all,” his raspy voice, more like a nightmare now, called back to the world and the situation between us. “Tell me, what are you? What kind of creature are you?”

A half-Watcher, a child born between thunders, someone who could walk through light and dark. Not a human being, not a Watcher. Dangerous, untameable, unstable. A creature who never knew peace in my life, it was always fighting, running, hiding. A creature who only knows how to be hunted, hated and feared.

“Why should I tell you?” Now, my voice sounded angrier than I wanted it to be. I was defending myself, trying to find a way to give him a bad time in his possible attempt to terminate me.

He approached like in a dream — obviously. In a moment he was by the corridor that lead to the rooms, in the other he was a foot apart from me. I could feel his breath in my face, his eyes piercing mine to get to my soul to get the information out without any more questions. Why was he so invested about knowing about me, anyway? Why only now? My existence predates the Greeks, why now?

“I’m the King of Dreams and Nightmares. I need to know if a rogue is between humans. Dressing up as love and eating their fear.”

“I’m not a rogue. And I’m not dressing up as love. I project love, and I help them.”

Yes, that pissed me off.

“You help them by hurting them?” That sounded more like a personal offence than a genuine concern about humans.

“The love I give you doesn’t hurt, because love doesn't hurt. Still, once it’s given, it’s yours. I can’t control what you do with it.”

He stood quiet, angry. I felt anger running through my body. I felt it wasn’t enough.

“I need to know the other parts you’re hiding.”

“Why? I’m not a danger to society, if that’s what you’re asking.” That’s a lie. Even with light, I have darkness within me. I am a danger to society. But isn’t life a danger to everyone? “Besides, if you want to kill me you can do it without all of this… Questioning thing. I’m not strong enough to fight with an Endless.”

There was a pause, longer than the others. I was out of breath after my arguments. He was searching for another way, now that he saw that I wasn’t going to give in.

“If you’re really Eros, then you will allow the King of Dreams to visit your palace.”

Bastard. I was left without a choice, if I didn’t do it, he was going to take me with him and the last thing I wanted was to be a prisoner to another Endless.

Or he was bluffing, but I couldn't play with that card. If he wasn't bluffing, then I was going to be a prisoner in a golden cell. And Thomas, a vengeful spirit, would try to destroy bit by bit of the Dreaming Realm. 1) I can't risk losing my brother again. 2) Unlike Morpheus, I understand his value to humanity, even if he hates me. I highly doubt Thomas would destroy everything, but he'd cause a good damage.

“With one condition. You don’t get to destroy us when you get there.”

He leaned in, his face getting dangerously close to mine. An almost invisible smirk shone in his face with defiance. He didn’t believe I had a palace, apparently. I could bite him. I could punch him. However, my arms were glued like stone.

“I won’t, Eros.”

“Promise me.”

A pause. Long, torturing. He sighed, fixing his posture, his eyes still on my face. Bastard. His smirk disappeared, he stayed back on his serious look. I tried to breath, but it felt like air was too heavy for my lungs.

“I promise that I will not destroy your palace, Cupid.”

“Fine. Tommorrow, at night. Don't be late, I won't wait for you.”

And he disappeared into the darkness, leaving me breathless in my living room. I forced a glance towards the clock hung on the wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. Hours had passed us by.

My father was right, as always. Time doesn't move around Morpheus.

#the sandman #morpheus x oc #oc #morpheus #female oc #universe expansion #dream of the endless

[inavagrant-a]

@starsdescent said:

❝ we can sneak by them, even though i know that’s not your style. ❞ / lumi

The presence of the Fatui amidst the vast greens of Sumeru have become far and few in between. It isn't like it brought Tetsuya any sense of relief, but it's no secret that nations who loosen the grip of the Fatui on their territory do have the tendency of breathing easier, more sense of safety and security in the borders of their own lands. He'd know. In his memories, carding through one after the other, when the one known as the sixth harbinger dismissed himself he could always feel the sense of relief his absence brought upon those around him. Perhaps it was a sentiment that stayed universal for everybody given the alleged bitchings of him being the most unpleasant out of all of the eleven. Did he care? No, since attention is just that: attention. Negative or positive wasn't a concern of his. However, with that said, that didn't entirely mean that the Fatui up and left, no, the Fatui never do that and as one of their previous harbingers in his past life he can attest to it without doubting it. The Fatui just become quieter, they become sneakier, or they spread to other parts of said nation that are far louder, far more chaotic, that their presence there hardly stands for much. Enter the scarlet sands of Sumeru.

Tetsuya can not say he personally understands, but he's been told these deserts are merciless on the mortals, not many dare to traverse through its vast wasteland without proper reasonings. The desert has always been in Lesser Lord Kusanali's radar, but given the mess that the Akademiya is right now she has to tackle one single mess at a time and since the institute is so close within her reach, it was wise of her to pick the Akademiya first. However with Tetsuya's assistance that attention splits some, sending him off to the desert to assist where he could, to point out fault after fault, to see just how much help the people out here need. And lo' and behold of course the Fatui are infesting these parts like a famine, like the plague. He's not surprised, that is hardly the case, if anything it is a bit laughable how predictable they can be. To him anyway, probably not to some outsider who's never actually been within. Ruins, curses, treasure, and many things can be found here and according to what Lumine has told him, based on what she has seen, there's some mercenaries that are still in cahoots with the Fatui. That's no surprise either, of course they are.

He and Lumine hide behind a couple of crates at the moment, a large Fatui encampment spread out near a large hole in the sand that looks like it was manmade, out in the far reaches of the desert. In said hole lies a ruin with a rather compromising door that absolutely refuses to open. To even the dumbest of individuals one can conclude that there's something in there worth investigating, worth looking into. They're more than likely trying to figure out how to open that door that has yet to budge down below. Tetsuya isn't remotely curious about what secret lies within, he isn't like those greedy and selfish scholars, he's just here paying off his dues, slightly vindictive about it, but boring details quite honestly. He's about to rise from where he's currently hiding, his intent is clear, he doesn't resist nor second guesses it, but Lumine's hand resting upon his stops him. Her action catching off guard. "What?" He mouths at her voicelessly, a slight furrow to his brows that shows off his confusion and slight sense of indignation. Why is she stopping him? It's just them and this camp all the way out here in the middle of nowhere. There's hardly any risk. But... Lumine has been odd as of late.

Ever since she has returned from her most recent expedition in the desert she has had this strong sense of aimlessly that quite honestly gets on Tetsuya's nerves, he detests it and it annoys him so, if only because it reminds him too much of him. Almost like she's lost her way and can not find her way back into the road she was taking. He's also aware that she just recently learned quite the amount of things about her twin brother in a most... traumatic manner, to put it simply and in a pill that will be easy to swallow. He knows that's the biggest contributor to why she feels as she feels, even if she tries to act like she's since moved on from that. Tetsuya knows his love better than that for that to be the case. She does not answer his question and instead after the silence settles between them she suggests that they simply sneak by them even if that's not his style. It's said in a casual fashion, as if it's just a bright idea that she just got, when really it's her telling him she isn't in the mood for this and would want him to remain by her side. It's a well hidden plea she veils outstandingly well in her tone and it is frustrating for him how she hides from him when she should know better than that. She should know that she's, most of the time, hidden in plain sight to him.

His steady resolve is chained in shackles and strains for its freedom amidst his might's need to unleash his relentless wrath like a merciless deity and his need to be there for his lover in her crystal clear time of need like a smitten charmer. If she still wasn't feeling up to par why did she agree to come along with him then? The answer is in plain sight, but he's electing to ignore it and act like he doesn't know the answer to that. She wants to be in his company. All this while her hand remains on his. His expression has since softened, he knows all too well where this is going, there's no point in stalling and wasting both of their times here.

"Fine," Tetsuya sighs quietly, conceding to the obvious, "lets go." He motions his head over to the direction they can take to get away from the camp. "We'll set camp near an oasis," he continues quietly, his voice spoken with absolute authority not to be challenged, "and we can rest there for the day." He says and uses the word we freely and loosely, hollowly attached when applied to himself, because he really means her. So that she can rest, he does not tire. He'll figure out what to prepare her for a meal based on what ingredients she's carrying with her as well when they get there.

#starsdescent #inquiries. #in character. #act iii: wanderer. #softly but with a lot of feelin g clenching my fist: .... ..character development

[xarrixii]

Cinder_36 : "The Setup" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CW: previous chapter | beginning | masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▼

It was past midnight by now, and while Harlow was killing for some sleep, he knew Liam would be asleep right now, and he couldn’t afford being stopped right now.

This was his best bet.

It had been risky enough sneaking himself into the server room and looking through the data for a good twenty minutes looking for the most obvious of the places they’d gotten to guess—a pawn shop in Longport, the city he’d had to roam around on foot to study alone in the public library. Where he’d lived most of his life.

He had probably passed the building thousands of times going to the library, gone in a few hundred and asking them if he could clean for them, “Even if you only pay me a dollar.”

They’d always paid him more than a dollar.

As he approached the front door, lights on in the 24-hour, run-down little corner building, he felt a strange wave of nostalgia.

Hopefully Storm would make it easy, hiring real people to work the store while they operated below. Then again, he remembered almost every other building on this block being mentioned as well.

A bunch of apartments, he thought. Probably filled to the brim with kinetic users.

Scratch that, he knew as much. People who lived there taught him self-defense.

They didn’t need an underground hiding place, not with all of the space above ground they could use to house their agents—and prisoners. Right here, on one block. Enough of Storm’s agents must’ve still had real lives to go back to, that’s how they could stay under the radar. That meant their addresses would trace back to here, an always kinetic-dense block.

He had the excuse of personal experience on his side for this one. A guess on gut instinct.

That’s what made it easy.

Harlow opened the pawn shop’s door, bell chiming overhead. The person who usually ran the desk at night—at least back when he still homeschooled himself—emerged from the back door. Their face lit up.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite handsome little guy,” they beamed as they set down the box they held on the wooden part of the desk. “What can I do for you, Harlow?”

“I⸺” Harlow took a deep breath, looking behind himself onto the empty street. “I’m sorry. I hate, hate, hate asking you,”

“No, no, no,” they waved a hand. “Go on back there. I’m getting old anyway. I’ll take you whenever you need it. Hard to find honest work much anymore.”

“Thank you,” Harlow breathed out. “Really, you have no idea.”

“I have an inkling.”

A soft smile graced Harlow’s tired face without him even realizing.

“Go on now, you probably have commitments in the morning. Here,” they tossed Harlow one of the keys. “That one’s for the way back, got some more expensive things nobody’s dusted and whatnot for a while. You’re my saving grace, kid. That full-time is still up for grabs.”

“I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“I know, I know. You always wanted to do something bigger. The world just hasn’t let you yet.”

With a reassuring grin, Harlow enters the back, taking a heavy, long sigh once he’s out of sight of the old man. His daughter, Amy, always ran mornings. He had to be cleaning when they switched out.

He looked at the calendar they still used. They almost never had time or memory to tell each other in person when they planned to switch. It meant there was a good portion of a wall dedicated to notes they had to share with each other. He imagined if he had finished up quick and left before Amy even came, the old man would write something along the lines of Don’t worry about the missing cash, Harlow came by.

They switched out at 5 A.M.

He had four hours.

Harlow turned to the far back, his best shot at reaching whatever lay behind the outer façades of the block. It almost felt like he was being cornered.

Ironically, in the back of a corner-store pawn shop.

He had to switch the light on, looking at the assortment of jewelry, glass, porcelain, and other fragile expenses that typically had histories of getting broken by children and drunkards if kept in the main room. For everyone’s sanity, they’d been kept in the back to prevent incidents.

It brought an itching smile to his face at the simplicity of being back here, just a moment of remembrance before he had to return to looking for any sort of door.

Memory of Amy telling him not to lean on the walls kicked in. There was a uniform line in one of the walls that he had always ran his thumb over with confusion and he walked over, pressing on it first. Then trying to pry it both left and right.

He bent down to the wall trim next, trying to lift it when it budged for roughly the length of a reasonable door. Then he tried shoving it down into the floor. It caved, leaving a small crack of nothing beneath the wall it was hiding.

It allowed him to pull open the walkway, a button on the other side to bring the trim up again once inside with the door locked back in place again. That made sense. Couldn’t have someone leaning on it and it simply opening.

There was an empty lounge, a bin of black smartwatch-like wristbands under the coffee table. Harlow stuffed his Cinder sleeve into his leg bag and fit on the fingerless glove that matched the one on his other hand before swiping one to put on his wrist and another he turned off and on again—just to make sure—then off once more before stuffing into his bag as well.

Nothing else of note.

He tapped on the screen, essentially with the same mechanical use of smartwatches, and found the map option. To which it located the complex he was in before pulling up an appropriate map.

His heartrate skyrocketed. Definitely for apartments, he noted at the room numbers imprinted as he looked around for a bit from the comfort of the emptiness. And definitely for other things, too. Exterior rooms were marked with three digits, internal with four and a hyphen.

He almost felt bad for how easily the old man had practically let him back here. It felt like more than just a betrayal on his part. It felt like an invasion.

They’re just the front. They probably get shown IDs from a list of people to let in the back without question delivered by the owner, and that’s all their involvement is. That didn’t stop the feeling that Amy and the old man would both get arrested if the police uncovered something like this.

The idea of this block was risky. It felt too much like a decoy.

And maybe it was a decoy.

It was my most obvious choice, Harlow thought.

He shook it off before the thought harbored in his mind longer than it needed to. The longer he dallied, the more chances Liam would kill him later. The more chances someone would walk back looking for him just for him to not be there.

Alarm bells ringing in one building is probably an alarm for all the others.

Harlow stepped out into the halls, still lit, covered in signs, and almost completely empty. Everyone must’ve been in their rooms besides the few people who either chose to wander or were on patrol. He kept the wristband visible. In a building this large, there was no possible way to know everyone.

While poking his head through some of the glass windows along the sides of rooms to get a look at what Storm did behind their veils, someone had come up behind him.

“Lost?” the guy, in a brown trench coat, asked. He laughed to himself. Raiden would’ve called them a sort of 1950s-noir-detective-looking guy with their getup.

“New,” he replied, sure to keep his expression even.

“Mmmm,” they nod. “Wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself with everyone around peeking through windows like that. Would I be able to help you at all?”

“No. Kind of just getting a feel for the place. First-hand one, so I’m not always looking at this thing,” Harlow pointed at the wristband.

The guy chuckled, beginning to walk off. “I suppose so. I’ll leave you to it.”

A chill swept down his spine as they sauntered down the hall, leaving him instinctively following, sneaking quick glances into various labs and training rooms as he went. Just in case, he rummaged the lighter out from his pocket and quietly began burning away at the radio in their belt. The radio alone was enough of a hint he wasn’t a telepath, at the least.

There were plenty of corridors filled with office spaces connecting what was probably the two long hallways down the block, though his focus was more intent on watching as the guy entered on of the offices—probably theirs.

He leaned against a wall on his phone for a good two hours before the guy left the office, determined as they set out into the other side of the hall, opposite and parallel to the one Harlow was in. He’d been getting extremely lucky ever since he left Raiden’s apartment.

Curiosity piqued him, and he looked at the name beside the door before trying to burn it open with his lighter flame.

“Nacht Wolford,” he muttered into the silence.

He swore he recognized it from somewhere.

The fire kicked to life in his hand, thinking he’d just look in the Cinder database after a night’s rest. Harlow guided it to the little bar of metal holding the door in place, not wanting to bother with finding a keycard with access.

It pulled open to what would’ve been a typical office.

Had all the furniture not been bolted to the ceiling, a computer mouse dangling mid-air from where something held part of the cord to the desk. Still swaying, however lightly.

“What the fuck?” he wondered aloud before getting thrown into the ceiling, door slamming shut behind him as he tore his eyes to look down.

The guy, presumably Nacht, couldn’t seem to decide between a smile and anger. They walked to another wall of the room, curved around the edges and allowing them to smoothly walk until they were upside down as well, everything looking normal except for loose items hanging down and the door attached to the floor (now-ceiling).

Then the loose items, like the computer mouse, flipped to where they’d look perfectly normal.

Nacht tore the wristband off Harlow’s wrist and put a foot on top of him, inspecting it before throwing it aside, where gravity seemed to take it onto… the ceiling. Where Harlow laid like he was on the floor.

He didn’t dare say a word.

Nacht looked at him, cocking his head before reaching for where the working radio on his belt should’ve been, had a hole not been completely melted in from the bottom.

“I see,” he pondered, also throwing the broken radio aside. “Not as pathetic an attempt as I originally thought. It’s just you, then?”

The puzzled look on Harlow’s face made Nacht chuckle again. “My apologies. I thought there were more of you, so I spent a few hours on the cameras searching. But it was just you. Just you. When’s the last time Cinder raided anything mildly important with one person on the job?”

“You saw me standing there,” Harlow concluded.

“Yes,” Nacht nodded. “Yes I did.”

“Why didn’t you try to ambush me sooner?”

“If there had been more of you, it would’ve sent them all running. I had to make sure I was grabbing everyone I possibly could at once. Before I start dragging your fractured and limp body down the halls, might you humor me as to how you found me?”

Harlow considered it for a minute, watching for Nacht’s attention to drift onto something else before grabbing his lighter and whisking a flame forward.

Telekinesis snapped to attention, his hand flattening against their active floor. Lighter clattering out of reach before dropping to what was actually the floor. Nacht moved another finger and his other hand flattened down.

“Ready to answer now?”

“Simple,” Harlow reluctantly said. “Area was unnaturally dense with a kinetic-registered population.”

“How’d you get in?”

Harlow sighed, gravity of the situation finally seeming to set in.

“Come now, a telepath’s going to pick apart your brain for anything useful regardless.”

If Storm was anything like their mantra of being good people, “I’m an old regular at one of the stores. I abused someone’s trust. It’s not their fault.”

Nacht hummed, Harlow’s head the only part of his body that drooped in a manner threatening to fall back to the floor, seeming gravity of the rest pushing down harder as Nacht removed his foot. “I know it was your fault. I’ll just remind everyone not to let anyone without ID in back alone more often. This will only hurt a little.”

“What will?”

He felt the snap of the telekinesis just after the door barged open, Liam following what seemed to be the gravity of the room with loud complaint as he grabbed hold of Harlow and teleported the two out.

They both fell down onto the floor of the Cinder apartment in a less-than-polite manner, Harlow feeling especially light-headed with the sudden direction changes.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” Liam yelled, getting up faster than Harlow did.

“I⸺” Harlow was instantly interrupted.

“No, I think I know what went through your head. You thought you could go in there without anyone noticing and come back with new information. Well guess what? I needed to get ahold of you, couldn’t find you anywhere, and had to go ask my brother to help locate you. And where were you? You were being interrogated by Cinder enemy number one, on the ceiling of his office.”

“And it could’ve worked had we sent someone else in with me. But I couldn’t ask, because you would say no.”

“It’s reckless. That’s why I said no. We had to wait.”

“I couldn’t keep waiting.”

“We had to wait, Urban. Because it was the smartest option and I wasn’t about to try and send people Storm was on an active hunt for without a fucking plan!”

“You said you would let me help find Raiden in a heartbeat. And then you didn’t. I took it into my own hands.”

“When it made sense to! You were a second away from whatever Nacht would’ve put you in, and I don’t think you fucking understand just how close you came. And now what could’ve been a meticulous Cinder raid is a mass Storm evacuation. Because you couldn’t sit still.”

“I can’t just leave Raiden to die!” Harlow put a hand in his hair, argument taking pit in his stomach. Tears threatened to spill over in a sudden bout of exasperated guilt. “I’ve killed one person I care about already, I don’t need to go slaughtering another!”

Liam opens his mouth before snapping it shut, taking a deep breath. “Storm wouldn’t have killed Raiden. Not if they thought they could attempt a trade.”

“And that’s justification for not letting me go look for Raiden?!”

“I said no, Urban!” Liam’s voice raised again. “I gave you an order, as your superior, and you defied my order. This conversation is over.”

After a long stretch of silence, Harlow walked over to the couch and sat down, looking away from Liam. Emotion had bubbled over reason again. He clutched his head, ready to throw up from yelling and having it thrown around like a ragdoll. “What were you looking for me for?”

Liam sighs, voice calming down again as well. “You’re my responsibility, you know. Nobody had seen you since you left, and whatever several-hour long video I was watching finally ended and made me realize you weren’t back yet.”

Harlow went silent, listening as Liam gathered he wouldn’t be getting any witty comeback as he walked down the hallway to his room.

“Liam,” Harlow started.

“Yeaup?”

“Thanks. For getting me out of there.”

After a few seconds, “You’re welcome.”

He stopped Liam again. “Can you at least teleport this key back to the pawn shop? The front of Storm’s crap shouldn’t suffer because of me.”

With a sigh, Liam walked back over to take the key to the back area and disappeared.

Harlow heard Liam’s bedroom door shut a few moments later as he hung his head in silence, the only sound the analogue clock’s second hand ticking on the wall.

next chapter

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▲ missing a content warning? let me know

yet another title stolen from entry point

#fiction #original story #original characters #magic #dystopian #fantasy #angst #writing #writers #writeblr #man oh man #the 1950s noir detective guy appears again #this is when shit starts to get fucked up #i mean incredibly fucked up #brace yourselves

[theghostpinesmusic]

So, when I first started writing about Goose jams regularly, I had a huge backlog of Euro tour shows to watch, and I thought it would be fun to occasionally write about a notable jam from the tour as I worked my way through the shows. Then I got to the end of the tour, weighed in on a few jams from Goosemas as well, and now...there's no more new Goose for the foreseeable future, for what seems like the first time since I started listening in 2019.

I'm going to survive, probably: it's actually been really fun diving back into other music over the last month-plus since Goosemas. I've caught up with some artists I used to love that had sort of fallen off my radar (Fleet Foxes, Wilco, Tallest Man On Earth), tried a few things I'd been meaning to try that I bounced off of (Dawes, Mt. Joy, Lord Huron), discovered some great new stuff (that Andre 3000 album is legitimately good), enjoyed some other jam bands (Spafford, JRAD), and remembered that I do, in fact, love Phish. And that's just in a month of listening!

While Goose's break from touring might mean that the scope of the jams I write about will broaden (I'll definitely share some Phish clips soon, and maybe some Spafford stuff), and it will definitely mean I write less of these posts than I have been lately, I do want to take some of the band's time off to return to some of the jams and shows that have had the biggest impact on me over the last four years.

This band has not only constantly grown and improved over the last four years, they've also blasted out such a nonstop barrage of content over that time that a) it's been hard to even hear/see/absorb it all once, let alone ruminate over much of it, and b) now that the fire hose has been off for a month, the prevailing attention-span-addled fan's attitude seems to be that Goose is done, and it's time to move on to a new fire hose.

To be clear, I'm not writing these posts to argue with some internet strawman, but once you engage with enough of these people often enough, their negativity sort of burrows into your brain and sets up shop (at least if you're me). The best counter to this, I've found, is to stay off social media and write stuff that makes me happy instead.

So, in that spirit, expect to see the occasional "archival" Goose post for the next few months as I revisit jams from the past, both from shows I attended in person and from shows that I just like a lot.

We're going to kick things off with "Rosewood Heart" from the 2/3/22 Wonder Ballroom show, which I attended. Because I haven't covered "Rosewood" yet, I'll have to talk a little about the song first.

And, because this show happened in early '22, I'll have to briefly talk about COVID-19. COVID first, I guess.

So, I could fill (and occasionally have filled) virtual pages of this blog with my thoughts on my experience of COVID-19 and the various ways in which it (mostly horribly) divided my life into thirty-eight years Before and (as I write this) four years After. But I want to focus on the jams today, so suffice to say that 2020 through 2022 was rough for me, like it was for many people.

In tough times, I often turn to music for perspective, escapism, catharsis...you name it. And of course, during 2020, new music was in short supply. Live new music was, basically, not happening. Honestly, as much as I love Goose for their songs and their jams, I think part of the reason I fell so hard for them during this time was because they were the only band still playing. That not only meant they were still putting out new music, it meant that you could watch a livestream of, say, Bingo Tour, and see evidence that someone out there was still doing something besides sneaking to the grocery store at 10pm and hand-washing their tomatoes. This is why, to this day, 3/27/20 is still one of my favorite Goose "shows." It's a good show, but under the circumstances at the time, being able to livestream it made me feel like maybe the world wasn't literally ending.

To cut a long story short, things slowly got better. I saw a bunch of shows in the summer of 2021: Phish at the Gorge and Shoreline and JRAD at the Frost and the Hollywood Palladium. It was a bit freaky to be around such large groups of people at the time, but my mental health was such that I also couldn't imagine not going. Standing out under the sun on the Gorge lawn was sort of the first time I'd felt normal in a year and a half at that point.

Of course, all of those shows were outside and it was easy to socially distance on the various amphitheater lawns (the Palladium is an indoor venue, but it wasn't sold out and it was easy enough to wear a mask and stay out of other people's bubbles during the show). The Goose shows I had tickets for in the spring of 2022 - the first headlining shows of theirs I would ever see and my first in-person Goose show since 2/20/20 - would all be indoors. What's more, in the months before these shows, following the halcyon days of summer '21, more and more concerts had become superspreader events, and frequently shows and entire tours were getting cancelled either because the performers themselves got COVID, or because the band couldn't justify the risk (to themselves and to their audience).

In summer '21, seeing Phish and JRAD had felt like reassurance: not all of my old life was gone, after all. But getting to see four full Goose shows in person in February of '22 felt like a possible step forward into a life beyond whatever the last year-and-change had been.

I was, of course, totally terrified for weeks before the shows that a) someone in the band would get sick, b) I would get sick, c) the tour would get cancelled for safety reasons, d) my car would break down, e) the weather wouldn't cooperate and I wouldn't be able to cross the mile-high pass to Portland, which frequently becomes a death trap during winter storms...

...and so on. It almost seems silly now (and is sort of hard to explain) how desperately a lot of people clung to this or that one good thing they had to look forward to during those times, and for me, for most of early 2022, it was those shows. I had lost so much over the previous year, it sort of felt inevitable that these shows wouldn't happen, that there would be some tragicomic denouement to the one thing I had allowed myself to look forward to.

But everything worked out!

My first show of the run was in Bend, on 2/2. This was a bit poetic, as my first (and only) Goose show before this had also been in Bend (the 2/20/20 one). It was a great show, but the venue was way oversold, so my wife and I hung way in the back, where we could approximate social distancing, and we wore masks the entire time. Of the two Wonder Ballroom shows on 2/3 and 2/4, conventional wisdom is that 2/4 was better, and the band clearly liked it better, too, as they posted the entire show on YouTube...but, I found 2/3 to be way weirder and more interesting for my money, including the "Rosewood" that I'm actually, finally going to get to here shortly. My last show of the run was at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, which was an absolute scorcher of an "encore" show...suffice to say, I went home happy.

While I certainly wouldn't say that this "Rosewood" was the best jam of the entire run (in my opinion, it's in about fifth place), there's a great video of it, and like I said a million words ago, I haven't written about a "Rosewood" yet.

Despite my ranking-language in the previous paragraph, I try to avoid rating and ranking art these days ("Comparison is the thief of joy," and all that)...but if you put a gun to my head and commanded me to pick a favorite Goose song (this is a weird situation, why are you doing this to me?), there're pretty good odds that I would choose "Rosewood." It's an older song of theirs (first played in 2015!) but also always sort of a rarity (only played fifty-five times total over eight years). There's a version of it on their first album, Moon Cabin, which doesn't sound a ton like the current iteration of the band (because it's not), but still gives you a nice snapshot of what makes the song great. In short, it's got some of my favorite compositional flourishes (especially on bass and keys) without being overly compositionally complex, the lyrics do that thing Rick does so well where they allude to a sort of mythological or existential lesson without getting so abstract they lose meaning, and...it's just a real pretty song, you guys.

So, finally, this version in particular. I was stuffed into an oversold Wonder Ballroom in Portland with hundreds of other fans, I was trying not to whack anyone with my poster tube, and I had already sweated through my mask, but I was pumped to hear my first live "Rosewood Heart."

It might just be me, but I feel like this version draws out the introductory noodling a bit longer than usual, before the drums kick in earnest at 0:52. We move quickly from ethereal swells of sound to cascading piano and guitar lines before Rick comes in on vocals. You'll notice immediately during the softer parts of the song how fucking loud the audience was throughout the show. Please go to a concert only if you plan to listen to the music. There are many other places in the world where you can talk.

I love how the feel of the song changes with the bridge section at 2:22. Trevor's bass parts here are particularly great. The piano break at 3:04 is also fantastic. The jam proper starts after the song's vocal outro, at 5:52.

Rick starts off with the lead, and the first thing I notice listening back is how much tinnier and thin his guitar sounds than it typically sounds during a '23 show. This isn't necessarily a good or bad thing in my opinion, but he's almost got a '09-'10 Trey Anastasio effect (what we jaded Phish fans called "the whale call" at the time) going on here. I like it way better when Rick does it, actually.

This beginning section of the jam has a really jazzy feel, because of Rick's playing but also the beat Ben is laying down and the scattered piano chords Peter is playing. It's pretty abstract compared to your "usual" Goose rock jam, which is neat.

Rick starts building some momentum at 7:40, and the band picks up the energy to match his shredding. There is an absolute Wall Of Cymbals here that is just great. Post-peak, there's a few minutes of high-energy shredding before Rick steps back at 10:00, setting the stage for the next jam space.

After a short, spacey interlude, Peter starts developing a riff (do you call it a riff when it's on piano?) on piano. Along with some great, nuanced drumming from Ben, this sets the stage for the next portion of the jam. This almost-but-not-quite-disco jam is a great example of what I often think of as Goose's "default" 2022 jamming style. Basically, Peter homes in on a particular "sample" that he plays over and over on keys for a few minutes while everyone else plays around him. It's something that happens a ton during many of the band's twenty-plus-minute jams from this year. I don't know if it's a matter of Peter not wanting to or being able to lead jams in other ways (he's a fairly new keyboard player, as per my understanding), or if this is just a reflection of the band's electronica influence (see songs like "Creatures" and "Into The Myst,") but they got a lot of mileage out of the approach during this year, to the point that I enjoyed it at first, but was getting a little tired of it by December. They'll come back to it occasionally these days, but to my ears, Peter's approach to improvising on keys is way more varied than it was two years ago.

All that said, the keys "sample" does provide a great foundation for this jam, as long as you're not being a grumpy, jaded fan about it. Rick adds a lot of flavor on rhythm and melody guitar, the percussion dropping in and out adds variety, and Trevor builds a nice, comfy wooden fence around the whole thing to keep it reasonably contained.

Things slow down a little at 17:10, when the bass drops out and then the drums switch up. Rick changes his playing shortly after to something that sounds a ton like "Atlas Dogs" in a cool way and the lights even change to something a bit more nightmare chic to reflect the jam's dark turn.

This second build really feels like it's driven by Trevor, and I'm here (there?) for it. The camera's focus on Jeff tearing it up also brings into focus what the percussion contributes to the energy. Rick, of course, comes in at the end to cast out all demons and nearly destroy the FOH camera setup.

The video fades out at the end as the jam wraps up, though in "real life" this was a transition into a great version of "Indian River."

If you've read all the way to the end of this, God help you. I didn't mean to write this much, but writing about music is a) fun and b) a way to procrastinate doing the writing I'm actually supposed to be doing. So, thanks for enabling me!

I'm not sure what I'm going to cover next, but I'd love to rewatch/revisit some of the other '22 shows I attended, especially the Dillon shows and NYE in Cincinnati, so...maybe that's next?

#goose #goose the band #music #live music #jams #jam bands #tour journal #writing #traveling #Youtube #covid 19

[soul-dwelling]

This might be a depressing question, but do you think if Soul Eater (the manga) had basically 0 fanservice like something like Mob Psycho 100, that it would have gone under the radar and be forgoten, that maybe it wouldnt have past the first oneshot/prologue chapter, that one was very sexually charged so I wouldnt be surprised it was the main factor in its popularity...

I’m going to be all over the place in this reply, so please be patient with me. There are parts I read of your message and think, “No, I don’t think it was the fanservice that secured its popularity,” then I re-read your message and think, “...Oh, no, it _was_ fanservice that secured its popularity…Fuck.” 

Comic creator Ty Templeton, in his lecture on what goes into a good story, says it has to appeal to all of the seven deadly sins--including lust. I’m going to make a lot of assumptions about Templeton, that he’s not asexual. And as I’m not asexual, but I know fans of Soul Eater who are asexual, I’m going to say that Templeton’s argument is wrong. 

…Yet, depressingly, I do think sex sells to keep certain stories going--even when they are so not age appropriate for that. 

To clarify, I don’t mean “ew, don’t bring up sex or love at all”: that path is what is leading to these fucking stupid anti-LGBTQ tirades from just the dumbest motherfuckers online. “You can’t have a same sex couple in your story, because that means they are having sex!” Motherfucker, by that logic, you can’t have man-woman married couples with their own biological kids because, surprise, they were having sex--and even if the stork delivered their baby, that means they are having even more sex, because that means sex isn’t leading to reproduction and they can have even more sex, so get your filthy mind out of the gutter. 

What I mean is that, there have been enough stories that try to add sex appeal where not warranted: you can point to numerous anime and comics (US or Japanese) supposedly geared to children and teens where the pre-pubescent characters are designed to look far older than they are to titillate a certain set of readers. We can point to Soul Eater as just one of many examples. While you want to show that Black Star sucks at spying and sneaking around as a ninja, I think the Al Capone fiasco did that, you didn’t need Tsubaki bathing. While you want to show that Kid is obsessed with symmetry, we already clarified that--the mummy wrappings around the Thompsons was just for those poses and states of undress. 

But I would be lying if I didn’t think Templeton is sadly correct. I am almost certain I saw artwork of Blair long before I learned what Soul Eater was. Ohkubo made it clear from Chapter 0 of Fire Force that fanservice would be persistent throughout the series when we had the shower scene and Shinra looking down Maki’s top. Sure, you can debate whether Fire Force was ever equal opportunity: I can appreciate the firefighter calendar chapter as at least coming out of real-life firefighter calendars--but at least one character participated against his will (Takeru) and Shinra and other characters are underage, so, again, Ohkubo is going to be a fucking disgusting creep. 

And it’s all the more pointless because…well, have you seen a lot of fandoms? You draw a character, and you will have fans already thinking they are adorable, or beautiful, or attractive, or hot--and you could still draw them in the most non-sexual ways, avoiding any problems with the gaze or objectifying them--and fans still will latch onto them as their waifu. And that’s fine: that’s coming from fans who appreciate a character and are imagining stories with them, not a creator who can’t be bothered to try anything else without just feeding into the worst parts of an audience for a cynical attempt to boost readership and sales. 

I’m really trying not to be a prude here. Sex is part of many people’s lives. Sex is also part of young people’s lives, especially when trying to figure out new feelings and relationships: look at Pixar’s Turning Red for something that handled those topics far better than whatever the hell Ohkubo was going for (especially with his bullshit “Tamaki is here as the embodiment of fanservice to help introduce young people to sex and babymaking”--great job, you twit, once again overlooking, you know, anyone who isn’t interested in having kids or doesn’t have that kind of sexual interest or sexual orientation). 

But if you are going to include sex in your story, you avoid cheap fanservice and opt for storytelling that is more complicated. I am not familiar enough with Chainsaw Man--but I feel like you could have an argument about whether it handles the topic of sexual desires in a good or bad way. (From what I have seen, I don’t think it’s doing a good job--but I find arguments by other people to be persuadable, so I’m open to changing my mind, if I would read more of the series.) 

And what one person calls fanservice, someone may call integral to the story. (Again, sex is part of a lot of people’s lives: if you treat everything as just fanservice, you miss out on stories that are about sex, about life, about characters. I don’t want this to be like that inane “I don’t know pornography, but I know when I see it”: I think fanservice is when it is there for no other reason but to be for sex appeal and stops the story and character progression in its tracks for some poorly written humor or to maintain audience engagement because you’re too afraid the audience is getting bored and needs one of Templeton’s seven deadly sins to keep you interested.) 

But to go back to your question: if Soul Eater had almost no fanservice, would it have gone under the radar? No, I don’t think so. I know I said I saw Blair long before I figured out what Soul Eater was, but given how quickly a lot of the Blair and fanservice crap disappeared, I don’t think it was necessary to get the series started. 

But I do agree with you that it wouldn’t have gotten past the oneshots--because I think Ohkubo thought it was needed to get those three one shots (seeing as each of them had its fanservice--Blair, Tsubaki, the Thompsons) and continued into the main series way too long. Granted, appearing in Chapter 0.1 was way too long. But after that stupid “Soul pulls up Maka’s skirt” moment, the fanservice was reduced significantly. And anything edging close to it was either something you could dismiss (“Yes, Medusa is barefoot, but it we’re going to go after every single potential kink, we’re going to be here all day”) or that was there for a reason (Stein pulling off Maka’s jacket and lifting up her shirt is disturbing as hell--and while gross, and while I could agree to re-stage it so it’s not that creepy, we get that it’s there because that’s the point, it is creepy--I could agree to change it due to its triggering content, but I know it is here to be disturbing, not to be fanservice…and if it’s fanservice for you, then you really need help). 

But I think, once Ohkubo reached the Kishin Revival Arc, and once the first anime came out, something clicked with him and the editors that he didn’t need fanservice, so he largely reduced it (...give or take the Blair and Mizune fight in that same Kishin Revival Arc, and the stupid “Ragnarok lifts Maka’s skirt” moment in the next arc, and the later guest artist crap about the girls’ skirts, and…and I have contradicted my point--the “reduction” was still hardly that much of a reduction =_=; ).

But one reason I resist reading the series in this way? I don’t agree that it was the “main factor in its popularity.” Yeah, I said that I saw Blair before I knew what Soul Eater was--but seeing Blair didn’t bring me to the series: it airing on Toonami and having a great plot for Maka and Soul in Episode 5 is what got me hooked. I don’t think the series had enough fanservice to be what got readers, and as I mention above, it eventually became so infrequent that it wasn’t keeping readers. Sure, I can agree that it was there in the oneshots to hook readers; after that, it wasn’t needed. 

...Then Fire Force came along and forced it more than I thought it would, so he didn’t learn that lesson.  Maybe looking at B Ichi can help clarify this. That series had one gag early on about Shotaro finding Mana’s underwear in her luggage, getting tricked into thinking it was head garb, and wearing it--to her mortification. Silly gag, definitely a bit sexist at Mana’s expense--but not quite fanservice. But the end, when Tool is getting nosebleeds from Mana landing on him and seeing her underwear? That’s just fanservice. And I think that was the sad lesson Ohkubo took: “B Ichi didn’t last, so put in so much fanservice into the three oneshots. Great, now I got Soul Eater! Okay, now make lesbian subtext in NOT, but don’t develop a same sex relationship that well or potential poly relationships well--make them largely just fanservice. Okay, now make Fire Force--oh, the Fairy Tail guy likes Tamaki, force her into the story, then pretend I always intended for her to be here as some message about low population growth around the world and the problem of feminists! Yay, I have sold a ton of manga now!”

#long post #cw: sex mention

[fanficsfromyesteryear]

Hi! Can I request headcanons for dating marcus (deadly class)? Thank you

HEADCANONS FOR DATING MARCUS LOPEZ ARGUELLO

A/N: Just a head’s up, I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long lol. Also, sorry this took forever! I’ve been suuuuuper busy lately :/ I almost had it done before work picked back up, but I couldn’t figure out how to end it. Anyway, I hope you like it!!

Before the two of you started dating, Marcus had no idea that you liked him, and for good reason

You did such a good job with hiding your feelings that sometimes even you forgot they were there, which was kind of the whole point

With girls like Saya and Maria around, sending out mixed signals and dropping subtle hints that they liked Marcus, too, it was intimidating

Add Marcus’s constant cynicism about love, and life in general, into the mix, and it was clear the chances of him actually liking you back were next to nothing

So, you knew it was probably for the best to move on

You used the “if you ignore it, it’ll go away” approach in the hopes that if you simply didn’t acknowledge your feelings, the problem would disappear

All this did, however, was create a whole new issue

Somewhere along the way, you’d begun to take the thought process of ‘ignoring your crush’ too literally

You and Marcus were best friends, so when, out of the blue, you stopped talking to him, he could tell something was up

He had no clue what, though

Naturally, he assumed it was something he had done

Marcus started asking around among your mutual friends to see if they knew anything, but they were all just as out of the loop as he was

You hadn’t told anyone about your repressed feelings for Marcus, and you had no intention of letting the secret slip any time soon, but accidents happen

The truth came out one night during a game of truth or dare when you were up on the roof smoking with the Rats

Your confession came tumbling out quicker than you could even think about reeling the words back in

“You hear that, Romeo?” Billy asked, elbowing Marcus in the ribs. “Y/N’s got the hots for you”

All Marcus could do was laugh nervously as he looked down at his feet, refusing to meet your gaze

To your relief, no one brought it up again for the rest of the game

When the next day rolled around and your crush on Marcus still wasn’t the topic of conversation, you started to think that you were in the clear

Maybe they’d all been too stoned to remember when they’d woken up that morning

Your hopes were shattered by the late afternoon

As you left the bathroom, Marcus spotted you from across the hall

He quickly rushed over and caught you by the elbow, dragging you back through the doorway

“Relationships aren’t really my thing,” he said

Marcus sounded like he had more to say, but before he got the chance, you cut him off

“It’s fine,” you said. “I get it”

“No, no. I mean, I like you, Y/N, really. I just don’t wanna mess it up”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face even if you tried

“You’re not gonna mess it up”

Before either of you could say more, the bathroom door opened and Petra walked in

She glanced between the two of you knowingly

“Hate to break this up, but if I hold this piss in any longer, I’ll explode”

With that, she pushed past you both, effectively ruining the moment

It didn’t take long after that for you and Marcus to make your relationship official

‘Official’ is a bit of a loose term in this case

For the most part, both of you kept the fact that you were dating fairly under the radar for fear of what others would do with that information

In a place like King’s Dominion, something as small as caring for another person beyond using them as an ally was seen as a weakness that could and would be used against you, and the last thing either of you wanted was to be put in a situation where you were pitted against each other

Of course, there were several instances when one (or both) of you nearly blew your cover

Such as in Martial Arts class

Instead of fighting you, Marcus would try to cop a feel

You’d quickly smack his hand away

“Miss De Luca’s right there!”

“She’s not looking”

In defense of both of you, though, a class in which hormonal teenagers are asked to pair themselves up and wrestle is practically an invitation to break the ‘no sex’ rule

The other classes you shared weren’t any better

Master Lin caught you and Marcus staring at each other instead of paying attention on multiple occasions, earning both of you a smack from his cane

Although Marcus was somewhat known for his smart mouth and talking back to authority, he knew better than to challenge Lin, not mention that if he did, he’d risk exposing the two of you in the process

So, Marcus bit back his insults and held in his tirade until the two of you were safely locked away in his dorm room

“He had no right to hit you like that”

“I’m fine,” you assured him, shoving another tissue up your nose to stop the bleeding. “Besides, he does it to everyone”

“That still doesn’t give him the right”

“Next time, I’m gonna stick that cane right up his ass”

Marcus wanted to shield you from all the violence at King’s, but when it was coming from teachers, there wasn’t much he could do about it

If it was a fellow student pushing you around, on the other hand, there was no holding him back

You loved how protective Marcus was of you, but sometimes you worried that he’d get carried away

Marcus always made sure you were never around to witness the fights take place, but the scrapes and bruises on his face that hadn’t been there when you saw him that morning were all the proof you needed

In such cases, you would insist on patching him up afterwards

The first few times this happened, Marcus was embarrassed by all the attention you were giving him

After a while, though, he grew to love the feeling of having someone fuss over him, especially if it was you

It was nice to have someone care about him for a change

You weren’t much of a fighter, but making sure he didn’t get Tetanus was your way of looking out for him

When you and Marcus weren’t getting into trouble, you were actually a pretty cute couple

Your roommates became accustomed to the two of you being a package deal, which often meant sneaking into each other’s rooms after lights out

Sometimes, it was to make out, but other times, it was so you could have late night conversations that you didn’t get the chance to have during the day

The topics of these conversations varied—they could be deep and philosophical (which was Marcus’s favorite kind), an opportunity to open up to each other about yourselves and your pasts, a time to plot someone’s death (usually only theoretically), or simply joking around

After especially long days, you would accidentally drift off in the middle of these nightly chats with your head on Marcus’s chest, but he never minded

He’d pull the covers up on your side and wrap his arms more tightly around you

While both of you were perfectly capable of pulling all-nighters, whenever you fell asleep, Marcus was never far behind

The sound of your evened-out breathing was like a lullaby to him, so it was safe to say that his sleep schedule drastically improved after the two of you started dating

You’d found that you slept better with Marcus, too, so on the few nights you spent apart, you’d doze off listening to the mixtapes he’d made you in your Walkman, which were full of your favorite songs and songs that reminded him of you (though, these had quickly become your favorites, too)

It was rare that the two of you weren’t together, though

Even during the day, you and Marcus were practically joined at the hip

At lunch, you would hold hands under the table and share food

Of course, this always opened the door for plenty of teasing from your friends, especially Lex

“While you’re at it, why don’t you chew the food up for each other and pass it back and forth like little birds?”

“Fuck off, Lex”

It was always in good fun, though

Actually, the other Rats were relieved when the two of you finally got together because the weird tension that had been brewing leading up to that point went away, meaning group hangouts could carry on normally

They could overlook you sitting in Marcus’s lap if it meant you weren’t being distant and secretive

Just like they pretended not to notice when you showed up to class wearing each other’s blazers by mistake after spending the night together

Or walking in late looking ✨especially disheveled✨

All in all, you and Marcus are King’s Dominion’s cutest couple™️ that only, like, five other people know about, but still-

#marcus lopez arguello #marcus lopez x reader #marcus lopez arguello x reader #marcus lopez arguello headcanons #marcus lopez headcanons #deadly class #deadly class headcanons

[lubdubsworld]

Akrasia.

Happy Birthday To the Golden Maknae.

Here’s a little treat in lieu of Jungkook’s 24th Birthday!!!

Canon Compliant. 

Jungkook x OC

Word Count : 10K. 

Genre : Mild Angst. ( Happy'Ending) Jungkook X OC

Akrasia (noun) 

PHILOSOPHY    the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.

 Getting involved with someone like Jungkook is a bad idea. Do you even realize who he is? How much he’s worth? He’s easily one of the richest men in the country . He’s loved by everyone.

I wrapped the coat around myself, tighter. Everything that Lee Jiae had said was true. She was a popular idol . Someone who would actually make a good match for the Jeon Jungkook.

But even Jiae balked at the idea of going anywhere near someone like him.

Career suicide, she had said firmly. That would be career suicide, Areum. He has fangirls from all over the world. Billions of them. They will dig so deep into my past, find the most innocent of things and twist and turn it and the next thing I know, I’m being kicked out of my band, out of the company and on the streets. I don’t want that. And neither should you.

I shivered a bit. No, I thought honestly. I didn’t want that either. I was far from successful, just an up and coming soloist , with a very very niche fanbase. I did sell a lot of records and I made enough money to live comfortably but I was not a mainstream celebrity. I didn’t register on people’s radar because I stayed far away from the spotlight.

There was something about social media that made it a terrifying thing to me. It was so abstract and unreal and yet…it seemed almost like a sentient being.

A powerful sentient being that could potentially destroy my whole life.

It scared me.

And while Jungkook and BTS had conquered that particular monster, had leashed and saddled the beast and made it their own personal pet…. I didn’t want anything to do with that.

I don’t want that, I told myself firmly. I really don’t want that. I want to stay this way… make music I love… read the few dozen fan handwritten fan letters I received everyday, make the occasional appearance on a magazine cover and then just quietly retreat into my studio. I want this. And if I go anywhere near Jeon Jungkook, I’ll lose this. I’ll lose all of this.

My phone buzzed and I jumped, glancing around nervously. The late October wind was cold but not biting. Winter would come but not for a while. And yet my skin chilled in apprehension. I always felt guilty, picking up one of his calls in public. It felt like I was being watched, like everyone could hear me, on the phone …Could hear who I was talking to.

“Hello.” I whispered nervously, eyes flitting around to find a secluded spot in the park. It was early in the morning, still an hour away from sunrise and I quickly hopped over a small hedgerow and moved into a wooded area, away from the main path that had the occasional cyclist or jogger.

“You didn’t come.” His voice was honey, the way it dripped into my senses and made my breath catch. And yet it was the undercurrent of disappointment that tugged at my heart. Made guilt churn inside me in rapid little currents.

“Yes. Sorry.” I said quietly, picking my way past a few bushes to a bench a little way into the woods. It was rusty and damp because no one came here , and the darkness was absolute, only faintly broken by the dim glow of the streetlights hundred yards away. I settled into the bench nonetheless.

“Areum…. Don’t do this to me.” Jungkook said brokenly and I exhaled.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m being smart. And you should be too. You’re romanticizing something that was just…it was just a conversation. We had a conversation . That’s all that happened.” I said desperately. It was something I’d told myself over an over, these past few weeks. Weeks of avoiding his texts, of ignoring his calls.

Calls from his hyungdeul.

That had given me a whole heart attack.

“You’re just going to ignore me then? Toss my feelings away like they don’t matter?” He asked quietly and my heart clenched.

“You …” I shook my head.” You need to understand something. I’m not going to do this. I can’t afford to. I told you already Jungkook…we spent one evening talking..that’s it…we’re not dating..we don’t know each other well enough for you to be saying that you have feelings for me-“

“And I told you I don’t fucking care. “ He said sharply. “ One day… One hour…who cares? I believe in soulmates. Call me foolish and dumb but I do and when I saw you I felt that. And I know you felt it too.”

My mind flashed back to that evening. It was a private birthday party for a mutual friend. Barely a dozen of us had attended and Jungkook had been sneaking glances at me all evening, completely oblivious to the ay every woman in the room had their gaze glued on him. The party hadn’t been my thing at all and I’d sneaked away to the private terrace, accessible only through a rickety old fire escape and to my utter shock he had followed me up there.

The stars had been exceptionally bright that night,  but with Jungkook sitting on the tiled roof next to me, gazing at me with all that adoration, his doe  eyes had seemed to hold more of them than the night sky.

“What do you want, Jungkook?” I asked quietly.

“I want you. I know you want me. We …we understand each other. I want the same things you do. Do you even fucking realize how rare that is? To find someone who shares the same thoughts, the same dreams as you do? Who looks at the world the way you do… I… I am not foolish enough to think that there’s another girl out there who could connect to me the way you do. You call that a conversation…just a conversation…. Did you forget what kind of a conversation it was?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks ago  

The party had barely started and I was already itching to run home. There was a particular song lyric , stuck in my head like a loop and I wanted to put it on paper as soon as possible. I had this thing where seeing something on print helped me to elaborate on an idea. Directed my train of thought in that particular direction if you willed.

Mingyu was walking around, talking to his friends and making them laugh with his witty banter but I didn’t miss the way he shot me little glances. I gave him a quick thumbs up though, to let him know I was okay. He was a childhood friend, one of the few people I’d stayed in touch with through the years. And of course, being in the same industry meant a lot of shared interests.

I moved to the side bar with the drinks and appetizers, ordering myself a diet coke before hopping onto one of the stools. I watched the dozen or so people here….His bandmates, some other idols. I recognized Yugyeom from GOT7. They were all dressed in dressy casuals : flashy shirts and tight jeans and racy little dresses and I felt out of place in my long jean skirt and tasseled leather jacket.

Sighing, I turned back to my drink when a commotion near the door made me look up.

I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was.

The Jeon Jungkook. From BTS.

I stared at him as did pretty much every person in the room.  Jungkook was easily one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in my life, tall and just…big. I stared at the broad shoulders, the huge arms and the taut line of his abdomen, tapering into a narrow waist and long, long legs with muscular thighs. He was wearing a black shirt, unbuttoned all the way to his chest and skinny blue jeans with black boots.

I smiled, genuinely awed. Jungkook looked every bit like the untouchable superstar he was and I considered that the party hadn’t been a waste after all. The chances of me running into someone like that in person were pretty slim.

Almost at once he was surrounded and I watched as his ears turned red, gaze shifting away and an almost soft shyness in the way he bowed politely . A hesitation to be put on the spot but also a need to stay polite , probably. Laughing a bit , I watched him some more and then his gaze lifted to mine. To my surprise, his eyes went wide in what was clearly recognition.

What.

I watched as he quickly bowed and said something to the people around him before picking his way to me. My entire body went taut with surprise.

“Lee Areum ssi…” He stuttered, eyes wide and I could only gape. “ I’m a huge fan.”

I blinked.

What.

What.

“You know who I am?” I asked , mildly horrified and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his palm across his nose before laughing a little.

“Your voice is just… something about your songs…they help me sleep when I’m too exhausted to relax.” He said softly and I felt warmth pool inside me.

“Too exhausted too sleep. That doesn’t sounf good...”

Jungkook chuckled.

“Its not. It usually happens when we’re preparing for a comeback. It different with concerts you know…we’re exhausted because we’ve been running around …singing…its all physical…mostly. And that’s easy to brush aside and sleep. But comebacks…there’s that nervousness. The worry that things may not be as good as they were. Constantly having to keep up to standards. “ He shook his head. “ it can get exhausting.”

It was something deep and oddly tragic and I was stunned that he’d shared something so… personal. To a literal stranger. But the urge to soothe..to comfort and reassure him in some way was over powering.

Instinctively, I leaned closer and lightly touched his forearm .

“But you are the standard, now, Jungkook ssi. What BTS has done, others can only dream of reaching. You’ve brought this….utopian idea that you can love yourself just the way you are… and that’s amazing. I understand the need to meet expectation but I think you’ve earned the right to sleep without being burdened by them.”

Jungkook didn’t reply, staring into my eyes and I felt my pulse kick up a notch, my eyes taking in the beautiful features and my throat went dry when his gaze dropped to where my fingers lightly brushed the soft fabric of his shirt sleeve.  

“Oppa…Let’s dance.” A shrill voice behind him made us both jump and I quickly pulled my hand away. Panicking, I turned away from him fully, ducking my head so my hair could cover my face. There was a dull roaring in my head, making it hard to hear what he was saying but a second later he moved away from the bar and I exhaled sharply.

Shaking I turned back to my drink.

Another twenty minutes of trying to avoid looking at Jungkook, I gave up. This wasn’t my kind of place at all and after a quick word with Mingyu, I moved to the small balcony in the side, desperate for some fresh air. But the moment I stepped out, my eyes fell on the rickety ladder like stairs, rusty and clearly a death trap. I quickly moved to the ledge and peered up at the roof. It was a little inclined but nothing dangerous. And there was a barricade that would break my fall, just in case I slipped.

Thrilled at the prospect of doing something that was both foolish and fancy free, I quickly, climbed on to the ladder, climbing all the way over to the top and throwing my legs over the iron railing before carefully walking overt to the center of the roof. Grinning to myself, I settled on the slightly damp tiles.

“You’re lucky the ladder didn’t break .” Jungkook’s voice made me yelp and I stared as he quickly jumped over the railing himself, grinning and wiping his hands on his thighs.

“Oh my god, people are going to find us here!” I hissed, terrified and he laughed.

“Don’t worry. I told them I’m going home.”

“You lied?” I shook my head in disbelief and Jungkook hummed.

“Did I?” He pretended to think. “ Doesn’t feel like I did.”

It took me a few seconds for the implication to sink in.

I looked away, blushing a bit.

“Did I come on too strong?” He moved to sit next to me, just a foot away.

I shook my head.

“No. I’m just.. I didn’t expect you to know me. We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”

“There’s a very cliché line in my head about how you’ve been running in circles in my head for a long time but I’ll save that for our first date.” He said with a laugh and I blushed deeper.

“Date?” I shook my head, “ That’s not funny.”

“Good. Because it wasn’t a joke. Let me take you out to dinner sometime.”

I stared at him, trying to look for the punchline because even if he denied it, it was still laughable. The mere idea of it.

“Don’t turn me down Areum ssi.” He said softly and I swallowed.

“I won’t if you take it back.” I said quietly.

He sighed.

“Then…when you sang about wanting to give love a chance…wanting to free fall for once without worrying about the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, wanting to soar into the sky without thinking of the ropes trying to tether you to the ground….were you joking?”

I gaped at him.

“that’s.. those are… Those are lines from before my debut.” I said shakily.

“Like I said… I’ve been a fan for a long time.” Jungkook whispered.

The night was magical. Cool and refreshing and the night sky was resplendent, the lack of clouds offering a stellar view of the stars and yet, I found myself drawn to the galaxies swirling in his doe eyes. The strong nose and the cherry red lips, now being worried between slightly large front teeth as he stared at me with all the nervousness of a young boy.

But he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.

And this wasn’t a love song.

This was real life.

“Free falling is fun when you don’t know what you’re falling into. But when you do know that there’s a lot of pain at the end of the fall, its not something you want to experience.”

“Areum…”

“I’m flattered.” I said quickly. “ Beyond flattered…really. But… I can’t.”

“Okay. But don’t leave. Stay here with me.. for a while. Let’s talk.” He said quickly.

Jungkook was handsome and the night was still young. This maybe the last time I would ever see him and I was honest. It was flattering, receiving attention from someone like that.

I hesitated before sighing and nodding.

“Okay…let’s talk.” I smiled, throwing caution to the winds.

And talk we did. About everything and nothing. As the night grew darker, Jungkook relaxed next to me, laughing as he shared anecdotes about his members, about his family, about his brother. And then naturally about how successful they were these days and Jungkook told me that there was always a downside to fame but he enjoyed the love he received. That he loved his fans for how they treated him and his brothers.

“Fame comes with a price but it’s a small price to pay…being loved for what I do..being accepted the way I am…it feels good.” He said quietly.

“It’s not always that way though.” I pointed out honestly. “ You guys are … I won’t say lucky because you’ve definitely worked hard but you’ve been more fortunate than the rest. Sometimes the spotlight can be a terrifying place to be.”

“you forget that we were once one of the most hated idols in the country..” He laughed. “ Trust me I know.”

“I didn’t know about you guys till you got on the Billboard. And you’re an amazing singer as well.” I said softly.

He grinned , playing with the bracelets on his wrist.

“Thank you.” He said sweetly.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, staring up at the sky.

“I’ve never been attracted to fame.” I told him honestly.” Of course it holds its charms I suppose but I’ve always preferred the quiet of being obscure, you know. Like this secret that only a few get to learn in their lifetime.” I laughed. “ A hidden treasure maybe? Its why I started a Youtube channel instead of auditioning. Because only people who genuinely liked my music would get more of me. ” I smiled.

Jungkook hummed.

“When you first started singing your own songs on your YouTube channel? It was kind of around the same time we won our first daesang…” He smiled. “ In the MMA.”

“Oh…Really?” I asked surprised. That was nearly five years ago.

“Yeah. And till then..it was just your voice that I got to hear. You talked a bit but mostly it was just you covering someone else’s songs. And well, after we won the daesang I felt …lonely? Kind of? Scared maybe. And then you sang, ‘ White Dove’ a couple of days later and the lyrics…they just resonated with me you know. It made me feel like I knew you… Like you were a friend.”

I swallowed.

“I..thank you.” I whispered quietly, staring at my hands.

“And when you refused to sign with SM or YG. You also refused to monetize your videos on Youtube. You said your voice was your gift and you didn’t want to make money from something you’d received for free yourself. That …I loved that.”

“You’re like that too. You post your covers and songs on soundcloud for free as well.” I said quietly and he smiled.

“Like I said…we have a lot in common.” He smiled.

I smiled, shaking my head.

“I envy you.” He said quietly and I glanced at him.

“Hmm?”

“You’re just… You’re so untouched by all this. By me. It may sound incredibly narcissistic but people swoon when they see me for the first time but…you’re just you…. And that just makes me remember that you’re amazing and beautiful and you have such beautiful mind and you’re just… you’re so far out of my league. You’re so content with what you have and I wish I could be that way….But I …I can’t help but be greedy.”

“Greedy?”

“To do more. To want more. I know I should be happy that I even got to meet you . I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two hours , sitting here talking to you. But I’m still greedy for more.” He stared at me with an intensity that was electric.

“More what?” I laughed.

“More of this. More of you. More of you and me together. More of us.”

“Us?” I laughed, shaking my head. “ There’s no us , Mr. Jungkook . you need to forget about that.”

“ I don’t think I can.” He said suddenly.

I felt the smile fade from my face.

“Jungkook.”

“Your song … Utopia… where you write about your idea of the perfect world. I… I loved it.” He said shakily.

“Jungkook , wait…”

“All of these days, when I listened to your songs, I would make it personal.. It would be about how those words applied to my life but with Utopia… that world you talk about …where you can be yourself, where you can sing whatever you want, be whoever you want…. When I heard that song…it became about you. About us.. I… that world you dream of.. I want to give that to you.”

My jaw dropped and I exhaled in disbelief.

“Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Your fans…our companies… Everyone will lose their minds.” I whispered, horrified.

He nodded.

“I know. I know I shouldn’t ask you this. Because it goes against my better judgement. But I can’t help. I still want to choose this. Choose you. So if there’s a word for that.. That is how I feel.”

“I.. I should go.” I said nervously, making to move but he reached out an gently gripped my wrist.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked quietly and I shook my head.

“No.. I don’t.” I said quietly.

“Good. Because neither do I. But I do believe in people who can understand you better than anyone else can. Just give me a chance. One date.”

I stayed quiet staring at my feet. There was so much to consider but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and say no. He looked so hopeful.

“I’m busy for a couple of weeks. But there’s a beautiful terrace restaurant in Itaewon that I know. We’ll have complete privacy . I’ll get my chauffeur to pick you up. No one ill know. I just want to spend some time with you over dinner and if you have a good time….. we can meet again.”

And then what?

“I…I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.“ I said honestly.

“That’s good enough for me. Can I have your number at least?” He asked finally.

I nodded and quietly put it into his phone.

“I’ll make the reservation and send you the details. And Areum?”

I glanced up at him.

“I’ve been free falling since I met you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

“I do.” I said quietly. “ I do remember.”

“I haven’t stopped falling. I keep listening to your songs on loop… Because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you , of not being connected to you in some way…”

“You’re so .. you’re so intense.” I whispered shakily and he laughed.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I am… I’m here you know. The restaurant I told you about. And my chauffeur is at your home. But he told me he couldn’t find you. It’s the middle of the night . where are you?”

I sighed.

“In the park opposite my house.”

Jungkook didn’t respond for a second.

“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” He asked quietly.

I took a deep breath.

“ Akrasia. “ I breathed out nervously.

“What…”

“its when someone makes a decision…against their better judgement.” I laughed nervously. “When we had that conversation , you asked me if there was a word for it. For acting against your better judgement. Akrasia is the word you’re looking for .”

He stayed quiet on the other end.

“Okay.” He said finally. “ Well, are you going to be akratic with me?” he said finally.

“Ask your driver to leave for now. And come meet me in my apartment tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.”

Jungkook didn’t respond.

“That way we’ll have more privacy.” I said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dating Jungkook was a lot of pain. Just as I’d anticipated. It was sitting by and watching him work himself down to the bone. It was watching people throw themselves at him and not being able to say a word. To the world he was single. And the number of women who called and hounded him was unnatural.

And he worked so hard that my heart ached for him.

One night, he missed dinner and I couldn’t reach him on the phone. I stayed up , sitting on my bed, waiting.

He came back at exactly at three in the morning. He didn't turn on the light but the moonlight through the window was sufficient to let me know that he looked terrible. i watched him shrug out of his jacket, leaning against the table , long legs crossed and crisp white shirt unbuttoned. He tugged at his tie with a sort of tired , half hearted gesture and i smiled.

i watched him for sometime, seeing him shrug out of his shirt and change into a simple white t shirt. He moved with a sort of graceful strength. Like every single cell of his body had the same confidence that he did. 

It was like a dream, i realized as another dull ache of pain twisted my heart. It was like i'd slept and woken up in someone else's dream. A dream where it was okay for me to look at him and feel things for him , without fighting to convince herself that it was dangerous. That it was going to end in heartbreak.  

As i watched him prepare for bed, i wondered when I had started falling so hard.  

The sound of the door closing, made me look up , shaken out of my thoughts. Jungkook was locking the door behind him. 

When he moved to the bed, i decided to let him know that i was awake. 

"You're back?" i said softly. 

He hesitated, clearly startled , before smiling at me. It was a weak smile, one that practically screamed exhaustion and i sat up straighter,  watching as he moved to me side and gently stroked me hair. 

"Why aren't you asleep?" He smiled. 

"I was waiting for you." i said honestly holding my hand out and he took it, kissing it obediently. 

"you'll have to wait longer, I'm afraid. I have a meeting tomorrow morning with PDnim and I still haven't prepped for it. I need to get an hour's sleep and get back to work. " Up close he looked so tired that i felt my heart clench in panic. 

"You don't look good." i said, alarmed as i realized that his skin had a distinctively grayish tinge to it.

"Comeback times are always that way. Never good for my health." He said teasingly. He checked his phone messages before turning to me and smiling.  

"I see you've been cutting back on the pain killers... are you feeling better than?" He asked. I’d been down with some menstrual cramps earlier and I was touched that he remembered, even in the mess of his schedule.

"I wish you wouldn't change the topic everytime I try to show concern for you."  i said , a little bit annoyed. He grinned and touched my cheek with his forefinger. 

"Just the fact that you are concerned is enough for me . anything more and I might die of happiness. you don't want that do you?" He winked. 

Deciding that it was impossible to talk with the man, i asked him if he wanted something to drink. 

He shook his head and climbed in next to me but before laying down, he turned to me. 

He hesitated. 

"Will you lend me your shoulder for the night?" He said softly , placing his hand there. 

i sighed as he leaned against me . His skin felt warm against me, his hair lightly tickling me cheekbones and i threaded me finger through the silky strands. 

In just a few seconds, he was fast asleep. 

I stayed awake, watching the room grow steadily brighter, the weak winter sun gently finding its way into the room , much like the way the man in my arms was gently finding his way into my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"We should get a house, don't you think?" i said two months later, sitting up in bed , eating dinner while i watched him work on his files. He'd placed the desk in the far corner of the room, giving me the perfect view. And i was beginning to enjoy it a lot more than the one i could see out the window. 

" A house? " Jungkook stopped and looked up. " You want to live with me ? Just the two of us?" He smiled.

Well, when he put it that way. I balked and ducked my head. 

"It's too soon isn't it..I'm sorry I don't know why I..."

"What kind of a house would you prefer? Flat? Penthouse? Apartment? Duplex? Tell me....I'll get you the listings and you can pick out the ones you like . When you get better we can go pick one out." He grinned at me and i relaxed against the pillows , while he went back to his files. 

"I read something online…” i said casually . He didn't look up, merely humming to acknowledge that he'd heard me. 

"Did you date Lee Hyeri ?" i finally said. He stopped and looked at me. 

"Yes. Many months ago. I broke up with her because I wasn’t feeling anything serious and I didn’t want to lead her one. She didn’t take it very well. ." He said softly, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge. As was his habit, he reached for my hand, holding it in his and tracing circles with his thumb.

“She called me.” I said quietly and he stiffened.

“Shit.”

I laughed.

“She wanted to meet me . Wanted to talk about something although I have an idea what. I’m not going to indulge her though.”

“If she calls again, you should tell her that her obsession is bordering on stalking and I’m on the verge of getting a restraining order. She turned up at my studio too. Went on an on about how I broke her heart and cheated on her . ”

 i hesitated , looking away from him and smiling. 

"I don't know . Should I?" i shook my head. i hesitated, pulling my hand away from him. "What else did she say?" i said suddenly, remembering how angry she had sounded on the phone.

"Nothing, you need to worry about. Are you done with this? Shall I clean it up?" He reached for my dinner tray and i grabbed his wrist. 

"where are you going?  You should tell me what she said." i protested, but he gently pried my fingers off before dropping a kiss on me forehead .

"And You should tell me when you're going to start staying over at my apartment.. It's going to snow in a few days. Or so they say. I thought you might like to enjoy the first snow with me..." He smiled . 

I took the subtle hint to drop the subject.

"You're being too wonderful. It makes my heart ache." i snuggled into my bed and pouted at him. He laughed at that. 

"Take rest. I have a meeting right now. I'll be back late so you should sleep." 

I watched him leave, feeling oddly bereft. I was growing to love him deeply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As with every couple in the world, our fights were often over the silliest things.

"You're still angry." I said casually, watching him work on his documents, the low burning desk light setting his features in sharp relief. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.

"I'm not angry , Areum. I'm busy. There is a difference." He said with a sigh, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. I watched the gesture and sat up straighter in bed, leaning over the side to stare at the clock there. It read 1.15 Am.

"It's snowing." I said softly, getting one my knees and peering out the windows. Through the haze of moonlight, I watched the small flakes drift down over the neatly cut hedgerows, making each segment of the garden look like neat cut slices of cake with vanilla cream frosting. I grinned at the little wisps of cotton white snow, clinging to each little branch on the trees and felt my heart swell with joy. 

"I suppose you're too busy to make good on your promise." I said naughtily, peering over my shoulder to glance at him. 

"Promise?"

"That you'll walk with me , in the first snow." I said, turning around and getting out of bed, slipping my feet into my fur slippers. I watched him fight with himself , the emotions warring across his handsome face and held my breath.

finally he sighed and stood up. I tried to keep the triumphant grin off my face and failed miserably. I felt awful, because deep down I had known that no matter how angry or upset he was, Jungkook would never break a promise. And I'd worded my request that way, just to take advantage of that little chink of honor that he always lived by. 

"Alright then. Let's go take a walk in the first snow." He said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You love snow."

"How did you know that?" I said surprised, lightly grabbing the low lying branch till it showered both of us with soft white flakes. 

"You make these little sounds , everytime you see  snow. I've noticed it from the time we met." Jungkook grinned . 

I laughed and turned away. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a fairytale, the white landscape making me feel like some exotic Ice Queen. I walked ahead of him, running a few steps till I was about ten feet ahead of him. I turned around, facing him as I walked backwards. He laughed at that. 

"Be careful. The snow looks soft but the fall will hurt." He warned me, putting his hands in his pockets and narrowing his shoulders to fight the chill. I smiled and shook my head.

"I want to look at you and make sure that you're not angry with me anymore." I said, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not angry. I told you that."

"Yes. You did. But i didn't tell you I'm sorry, did I?" I said softly, stopping in my tracks and watching as he drew closer. Jungkook gave me a curious glance, walking slowly till he was just in front of me.

"I'm sorry I said I'll leave you." I said honestly. He looked surprised but smiled nonetheless.

"Duly noted." He bowed his head, tipping an imaginary hat at me. Smiling, I turned around I ran a few more steps and instinctively knelt on the ground

"Don't ." He said suddenly. 

I  looked up from where I was gathering a handful of snow. I gave him an innocent smile. 

"What?" 

"I know what you're thinking. don't do it." He said, taking a step back. I felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through me, realizing that the big bad wolf was actually scared of being hit by a snowball. 

"You should know why I like snow so much.." I grinned with mischief and he gave me a look of disbelief.

"I don't think you can hit me. You're forgetting that i'm an expert at taekwondo.”

I held my hand up and threw , cursing when he casually stepped out of the way, laughing at the look on my face. 

"You have to concentrate on what you're doing. Anticipate my next move and react accordingly." He advised, bending down to get some snow for himself. 

"React to this!!" I grabbed two handfuls of snow and ran straight at him, grinning as I leapt on him.

We landed on the snow, Jungkook  on his back and I right on top of him, laughing as I smeared the snow on his face. He spluttered in disbelief and swiftly, threw his weight over, pinning me to the ground and straddling me, fingers swiftly grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands over my head, leaving me vulnerable and helpless, as he shook his head , showering me with ice cold flakes. 

I squeaked in surprise and he laughed hard.

Watching him laugh, full and open , I realized that I'd never watched him laugh that way before.

He looked exhilarated. 

Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss. 

the first touch of his lips to mine, felt like the sweetest, coolest sip of crystal waters after a lifelong thirst . 

I sank into the snow, sighing into the sweetness and the gentle pressure of his lips against me, the first touch of his tongue, making heat seep through my body, despite the cold. I curled my fingers into the fur near his neck, smiling into the kiss as he slipped one hand into my hair, gently tilting my head for better access. 

He kissed me softly. He kissed me deeply.

He kissed me like that was what he'd been put on the earth to do. 

But mostly he kissed me like that was all he wanted .

It was so absurdly romantic that I wanted to laugh .

I could catch whiffs of his scent, even though my eyes were watering and mey nose felt like it was running. Some elusive cologne mixed with the scent of  clean male skin . It made me heat up in ways that curled my toes in my fur boots. Each little kiss lasted a little longer than the one before, till I was certain that I was going to melt into the snow. And each little breath felt like a little wisp of my soul leaving my body and mingling with his. 

We kissed and kissed and kissed, while the snow fell in white flakes around us .

First Snow. first kiss, I thought happily. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After our little episode in the garden, I found that I felt something akin to desperation everytime I came in contact with Jungkook.

It's not that I woke up one day and realized that something had changed in the way I watched Jungkook.

. That my eyes lingered, not just on his face but on the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the exposed skin of his neck. My fingers wanted to reach out and  grip, not just the strength of his shoulders and the slender digits of his hand but also his lean waist.

I began losing my mind, slowly and painfully. Suffocating when Jungkook got too close , choking when he went away too far.

As they spent time together, Jungkook began touching me.

. Not too often and never in an intrusive way , but every time his fingers traced the back of my palm or brushed back my hair, my  throat went dry and my heart stopped pumping blood and I felt like like a fool because I had no idea if Jungkook felt half of what I was feeling.

In fact I was certain that Jungkook didn’t feel anything at all.

What I was feeling was painful and confusing and if Jungkook felt any of it, he would be running as far away from me as possible, not moving closer and closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why are you so nervous?” Jungkook laughed and I bit my nails nervously, glancing around the reception hesitantly. The workers were all busy, no one spared us so much as a glance but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.

“It’s only us here? For the whole weekend? No one else?” I asked again for the hundredth time.

Jungkook groaned, shaking his head and ignoring me, holding his hand out for the keys to our cottage. I yelped a bit when he began walking away without waiting for me, running to keep up with his long strides.

“Sorry…I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” I said quietly, slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers together and smiling a little.

He squeezed my hand gently before pulling away to wrap me in a one armed huge, pressing a kiss to my neck.

“I booked the entire resort for the weekend. The staff have all signed a confidentiality agreement. No one is going to know we’re here. You can be as loud as you want.” He whispered and I yelped, hitting his chest,” let me finish….” He laughed. “ When you yell at me. You can be as loud as you want when you yell at me.”

“You’re a terrible person.” I whispered , burying my face into his arm in mortification.

Jungkook merely laughed .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You seem tense." He said that evening, as the pair of us sat on the back deck , glasses of bubble tea in hand , watching the waves break out on the rocks. Slow but persistent , gradually breaking the rock's resistance and carving its way into its heart.

"Can we ever …truly be relaxed ?" I asked , a little bit of desperation in my tone. Jungkook didn’t turn to look at me . Instead he took a picture of the rocks and the sea with his phone.

"That's a pretty loaded question. With a lot of answers."

I stared  at him, wondering why I was more confused now than before.

"Sometimes I can't understand you at all." I said quietly, shaking my head.

“Do you understand that I love you?” He said softly.

I hesitated before nodding.

“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys dropped by for a visit the next day.

I sat down on the open deck, opposite Namjoon for a game of chess. Jungkook slid into the armchair next to me.

"Are you winning?" Jungkook asked quietly and I shot  him a glare, which gets a smile in return promptly. It was like he always knew what to say , how to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, how to make me look and feel a certain way , just so he could steal that part of mr away.

How evil.

At first I didn’t  notice that he was sitting a bit too close for comfort, because as such, we've lived on top of each other for quite a while now. But after a while I became  aware of the warmth of his thigh, solid and strong against my own, evident even through the layers of jean separating them.

I  tried to move away, surreptitiously, but Jungkook only moved closer.

"Try this."

His fingers fluttered over my thigh, intentionally or not I would never know, reaching for my queen and I tried not to jump out of my skin, gritting my teeth as my muscles stiffened, my nerves tingling like electric.

I licked my lips and Jungkook’s  eyes flickered up at the movement, a gentle smile tugging at his lips and my gut clenched in embarrassment. But the brunette moved even closer, his bare arm now brushing against mine  and I had to swallow the desperate urge to get up and just run.

"Well, this is entertaining." Namjoon said suddenly and i looks at my opponent for the first time since Jungkook’s  arrival. Namjoon was leaning back in his armchair, amusement shining out of his eyes .

I scrambled  in a bid to put space between Jungkook and I and failed miserably.

"He's just helping me with chess." I said desperately.

"Oh, is that what they call it these days?" Namjoon leaned forward looking very intrigued.

Jungkook reached out and clonked him on the head but his eyes were laughing and I wondered how this was going to end. I wanted it. Wanted to take that final step with Jungkook but I was also so , so scared.

Would it change things. For the better? For worse?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook, I soon realized, took the way I was shying away from him , as some sort of a twisted challenge to get closer than ever. The more I moved away, the closer Jungkook gets , touching me in gentle intimate little touches and every time he did,  a slow simmering fire started at the pit of my stomach, reaching out in gentle upward licks , drying my throat and turning my insides into molten goo.

She's almost tempted to ask Jungkook if he feels the same way but she's saved the trouble later that week.

"I want you."

I froze on the spot, fingers stopping in mid air, inches from picking up a slice of apple, neatly placed on the tray. We were in the dining room,  Jungkook sitting with a set of files spread out in front of him and me with a knife and a few uncut apples in a basket.

"You..what?" I squeaked.

" I'm attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you." Jungkook said  , almost carefully.

Like he was announcing the weather. Like his words weren’t carefully calculated to turn my world upside down.

"Alright. " I whispered, not even sure what else I could say to that.

I stole a glance at Jungkook who was grinning from ear to ear. I felt blush rushing up my body, the blood flooding my face so quick it made me dizzy..

"Don't .. Don't look at me like that." I whispered, mortified to sound like a sixteen year old girl.

"Do you want me to leave now?" Jungkook reached out , placing a soft hand on my palm and it took all my  willpower not to grab Jungkook and hug him. Instead I managed a weak smile. My mind was a few seconds away from collapsing in on itself and I was too stunnedto think straight.

So I answered the question at face value.

"No, I don't want you to leave now. "

"Okay. Go ahead, eat your fruit. It's good for you."

Jungkook smiled again, serene and perfectly at peace with the world.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At eleven thirty on Saturday night, both Jungkook and I sneaked out of the hotel, arms laden with our picnic basket and coats draped over our shoulders. Once we reached  large pond in the outer edge of the property, Jungkook made quick work of the blanket, spreading it out on the artificial lawn that surrounded it.

I settled down on it, reaching out and dipping my legs in the water. It's a bit chilly but only for a second. I wriggled my toes playfully and Jungkook slipped a bit closer to me, letting his foot sink in next to mine.

We played around for a while, splashing water on each other and then I pulled my legs out.

"You okay?" Jungkook asked softly and I turned around to stare at him , a little apprehensive. There are so many things wrong with this , a part of me screams. But there's a part of me that longs, so badly , for this simplicity. Longs and has longed, all my life. Just this, the chance to relax and be myself and play around with water in the moonlight.

"I'm not sure." I admitted, honestly.

"Tell me. " Jungkook said and for once his voice isn't relaxed. Instead it's a bit urgent and anxious.

"We're not... I’m so scared that we'll never make it, you know." I sighed, dipping my legs back into the water, just as Jungkook pulled his out.

"Why? Because of the media ?" There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice and I hated myself for bringing this up. We were supposed to be spending time together, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sup[posed to be ruining the mood like this.

"It's nothing. I just.. I don't want you to get hurt." I said honestly.

"Because of you? Because I'm with you?" Jungkook's voice was lot softer now, the bitterness replaced by concern.

"I.. Yes.. I mean... I'm.."

"You're a gorgeous young woman who is intelligent and charming. Why would I ever give you up?" Jungkook asked, reaching out and wrapping an arm around my shoulder but I couldn’t help but sigh.

"That's.. that's not what everyone else thinks." I reminded him. “ And that not what they’ll say, if you ever tell them the truth about us.”

"No it isn't. And I won't say something stupid like , it doesn't matter what others think. Because it does, I know it does. And it's going to hurt. In fact I think it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me. But if I don't... If I don't take a chance with us... that's going to hurt me too. So its a choice. I can either  choose to get hurt by people I don't give a damn about , and in return I get... get to be with someone I really...like…..

"Or, I give up the woman I love and get hurt by my own decision. " Jungkook finished.

"We hurt either way." I smiled bitterly, Jungkook's words making a lot of sense.

"Yes. All you need to choose is , what's worth the hurt? Being with me, or society's approval?" Jungkook leaned forward slightly and I blinked.

We stayed that way staring at each other for a second and then he pulled away and sighed deeply.

"I've already chosen, I. I'm not pushing you, but I hope you'll pick me." He said quietly.

I stared into the night, thoughtfully. So easy, I told myself. So easy to turn around right now and kiss Jungkook, tell him that I didn’t deserve so much happiness. That my heart was so light, I wanted to spout wings and fly.

So easy but so frightening.

The wind picked up somewhere and somehow a draught found its way inside and I shivered a little, only to have a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulder. Jungkook snuggled in with me and we huddled together

My thoughts tripped over each other  and I wanted to run away but I stayed still, letting the gentle lap of the water against my toe, calm my inner turmoil.

"It's just you and me." Jungkook whispered, " Right now. Just you and me. Let's pretend we're the only ones on the planet."

I turned around to the brunette in surprise but Jungkook's looking out into the water, lit by a full moon from the skylight.

"Just you and me. " He said absently and I nodded, looping my fingers with Jungkook's. We sat in silence, pressed against each other and I waited till the moon slipped behind a cloud before turning around, slightly, and pressing my lips against Jungkook's.

It's soft and very short, over before it even begins and Jungkook smiled into the kiss.

  Explicit Content : 

       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook teasingly pushes her back and Areum falls back against the soft mattress, like she's been shoved. She melts into the kiss and then Jungkook’s lips move away, dragging his teeth and tongue over the exposed expanse of her neck, lightly sucking and biting and then soothing with his tongue. Areum gasps and struggles and fights for air, before dragging their lips together again.

Jungkook kisses her until she's splayed flat against the bed, eyes wide and lost and lips parted, blush staining her cheeks and then Jungkook's reaching out to the table and pulling his camera , snapping a picture.

"You're such a weirdo!" Areum laughs , too turned on to be annoyed.

"No, just a man. A man in love." Jungkook leans down, pushing his hips down into hers and she gasps at the friction. They make quick work of their jeans and suddenly its skin on skin and she's not sure if she's doing this right.

"Jungkook.. I..I.."

"Hey, relax. I got you." Jungkook holds her close, just holding her, cradling her almost and the familiar words smooth away her apprehensions and he's moving closer, trying to pull more sounds out of her, his lips tracing the line of her chest, tongue swirling around one nipple before moving down and down, dipping lightly into her belly button.

And then the camera is tossed to the side, Jungkook flipping them over with ease , his lips moving down , tongue dipping into the curve of her waist down and then further down , lightly licking at the sensitive bundle of nerves near her center and Areum's pretty certain she loses her mind at that point.

"You're amazing." He whispers, and she nearly flies off the bed when Jungkook slides a single digit in, slowly , so slowly. She’s wet and ready but her body is still stuck in auto pilot and she wants to close her legs instinctively.

"Relax for me." Jungkook whispers, lips close to her ear, licking and teasing .

"I'll make it good. Just relax for me." Jungkook says again,  gently, lapping at her neck and Areum unclenches her thighs letting him work his way in, sighing when the slide becomes a little more easy and a little more familiar.

"So beautiful." Jungkook whispers and Areum laughs, shaking her head.

"It's dark, you can't even see-"

"I can’t see but I can feel you. i can feel you and you’re so fucking gorgeous." He slips another finger in and curls his fingers against the walls of her insides and the gentle press of the pad of his finger is too much and not enough , all at once. Her head falls back into the pillow, all coherency leaving her body in a single whoosh of breath.

"Look at me. Only me." She whispers when Jungkook thrusts into her for the first time and Jungkook nods shakily and he pushes in, leaving her trembling at the ache and the pain and wanting to cry out, but she swallows it all down because she knows it’s going to get better .

"Don't wander off. " Areum whispers, pulling him down for a kiss and Jungkook pushes in deeper, earning a gasp. He wishes he could explain, that he can't ever think of anything but her because she is the perfect dream.

“I love this. I love you. “ she whispered and he had to physically restrain himself from burying himself to the hilt inside her. Her body was still getting used to him. He didn’t want to hurt her but God, she felt so amazing around him. the heat and wetness driving him crazy in a way that couldn’t be explained.

“Hold me tight.”

And she did.

With her arms and her legs and her body and her.....everything.

When she clenched around him, his mind went blissfully blank, her orgasm hitting him like an earth shattering, bone melting , heart stopping explosion of bliss.  

He fell against her, careful not to crush her with his weight and rolled to the side gathering her close.

Someday he would hurt her, he was sure of it. He was an idiot after all and he knew he would find a way to muck this up and ruin it for them but for now, he wasn’t going to think about any of that.

For now, he was going to enjoy the intimacy of making love to the woman he loved.

 Author’s Note : Hope you guys liked it! it was supposed to be very angsty but its really not lol....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#bts smut #bts fics #bts fanfics #jungkook smut #jungkook fics

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (June 18/2021) - The Outpost Conflict

---

I’m trying out a bit of a new format today! Let me know which one you prefer, or if there’s anything you’d like to suggest! 

Maybe it will stick, maybe it won’t, but since a lot happened today, this recap is less edited-down than usual and it’s put beneath a cut with some extra labels for each big “section.” I’ll probably continue to stick to the normal format for less story-heavy days.

---

The day starts off normal enough, with Ponk building a statue and Foolish working on a gas station.

When Ranboo and Tubbo begin building out a new wall to expand their outpost, though, Quackity comes online to confront them with Purpled and Foolish, getting into a heated territorial dispute.

Tommy meets Slime and begins constructing a railway around Las Nevadas, speaking with Quackity along the way. Slime ends up getting kidnapped over a conflict surrounding Linda the shovel.

After Tubbo tells him about some history that surprises him, Ranboo tries to think through how he feels about it until he comes across a visitor at the outpost.

Ranboo later gets into another lengthy debate with Quackity about the border conflict, after which Quackity speaks with Purpled and Foolish about a possible new plan for Las Nevadas:

An underground district of the city.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Captain Puffy

Tommyinnit

Ranboo

BadBoyHalo

QuackityToo

---

---

DREAM SMP RECAP: JUNE 18, 2021

!! UNDER THE CUT !!

---

SECTIONS:

1. Tom Bee

2. Quackity’s Arrival

3. Tommy and Slime Arrive

4. Ranboo and Slime

5. Quackity vs. Ranboo, Area 51

---

-

--- TOM BEE ---

-

- Ponk tells his landlord story to chat at the Thiccatron

- He makes copious amounts of TNT. He goes and places a single piece on top of the rebuilt Pickle’s head

- Ponk goes to the summer home and brings his supplies to his shack there, then creates a giant statue of Tom Bee wired with redstone

- Foolish logs on by where Ponk is standing. He turns around to see the present

- Ponk places down a sign:

---

MOON = FAKE

---

and immediately logs out.

- Foolish tries shooting the target block and the Tom Bee statue blinks. Ponk logs back on to say he passed the test, and the next one will be in four working days. He logs back out again

- Foolish sneaks over to the outpost. Ranboo is there, and Foolish keeps stealthy. He spies on Ranboo from the wall until Ranboo notices and comes over, breaking his cover

- Ranboo tells him to leave. Foolish asks for a cookie and Ranboo gives him some

- They discuss gas stations and Foolish asks if he can have a summer job at the outpost to pay off loans. Ranboo declines, as they already have three employees (himself, Tubbo and the guard fox)

- Foolish leaves to start building a gas station just off the main road to Las Nevadas

- Tubbo and Ranboo begin constructing a new wall for the outpost, expanding it outwards

-

--- QUACKITY’S ARRIVAL ---

-

- Quackity logs on and whispers to Foolish that there’s an issue. The two speak in Las Nevadas

- Quackity looks at the outpost. Foolish explains the new wall came about extremely quickly. The two walk to the outpost, remarking that it doesn’t look like much of a “cookie outpost”

- Quackity has an idea, and he wants Foolish’s warrior experience for guidance. He’s thinking of covering up the river, making that their border, and building up an even bigger wall. He starts placing down cobblestone to demonstrate

- Ranboo spots Quackity building up outside the outpost, putting his armor on

- Quackity says the walls can’t get any closer. Ranboo challenges this

- Foolish starts building up beside Quackity. The two build a tall wall of cobblestone outside

- Tubbo and Ranboo consider blowing up the ugly wall. 

- Purpled comes over to join Quackity and Foolish and Quackity tells Foolish about how he recruited Purpled. Foolish’s main experience with Purpled in the past was when he hired Purpled to kill the L’Sandburgians

- As Quackity fills Purpled in on the plan, Tubbo messages back and forth with Foolish

- They join the Las Nevadans’ VC and Quackity asks why Tubbo’s cookie outpost has a giant wall. Tubbo and Ranboo say the wall is outside of Las Nevadas’ border and is on their land

- Quackity is willing to settle it in court. He tells them about some of their plans for new business and billboards. He offers for Tubbo to advertise their cookie outpost in Las Nevadas

- Quackity offers a compromise for them to take down their walls in return for the cobble wall getting taken down as well

- Quackity finds the wall threatening and asks Foolish and Purpled’s opinions on the wall. Purpled explains how the property value is being lowered by the cookie outpost wall. Tubbo whispers to Ranboo that he has several stacks of TNT

- Quackity says that he and Tubbo can have a private conversation, as Tubbo is a lawyer as well 

- Tubbo and Quackity go up to the Needle to look over the land. Quackity doesn’t want Tubbo building towards his country. He doesn’t want to fight Tubbo because of their history, though

- Tubbo explains that he builds walls because he knows things he builds tend to be destroyed, and he needs protection. Quackity offers him a treaty of peace as long as Tubbo takes down the extra wall

- While Quackity and Tubbo argue, Purpled, Foolish and Ranboo stand in a circle throwing miscellaneous items at each other

- Quackity doesn’t want a repeat of L’manburg and doesn’t understand why a cookie outpost would need a wall. Tubbo suggests they get a border map drawn up

- Tubbo wants the borders to follow the river, but Quackity disagrees and wants square borders and flat lines

- While Tubbo and Quackity continue to negotiate, Purpled, Foolish and Ranboo play with a red sheep, jumping around it excitedly

- Quackity reminds Tubbo of how L’manburg started as only a drug van that turned into a massive nation. The outpost may seem innocent at first, but Quackity doesn’t want a repeat of history

- Tubbo says he wants reimbursement before he takes down the wall out of principle, since he spent a lot of time on it. Quackity points out he can’t have formed an emotional attachment to the wall already

- Purpled, Fundy and Ranboo contain the red sheep in a small pit in the ground

- Quackity quotes Sun Tzu and says that Tubbo has the high ground. Tubbo says Quackity’s painting him as the enemy

- They get a second red sheep and put it in the pit with the first one, throwing some more miscellaneous items into it

- Quackity says that Jack Manifold taking Tommy’s hotel never sat right with him. He doesn’t like the wall. He leads Tubbo back down

- They go outside to the others and continue bickering about the borders. Quackity is upset that their reunion is a legal dispute

Quackity: “Well why would you come and build this outpost right here?! Especially after not talking to me for so long?!”

Tubbo: “To be close to people -- that’s because you dropped off the radar! What did you want from me?!”

Quackity: “You saw what happened with Technoblade! Why’d you never come talk to me? Why’d you never come try and find me?”

Tubbo: “‘Cause you ran off, and, like, I dunno, I assumed you were going through stuff. So I’d never came and find you or even, like, reached out, ‘cause how was I supposed to contact you.”

- Quackity takes Tubbo into a separate call to discuss things further. Las Nevadas isn’t finished yet, and the walls jeopardize Quackity’s expansion. He’s already had a similar dispute and explains what happened with Wilbur, and how his space has become limited with both Wilbur and Eret boxing him in

- Tubbo suggests open borders. Quackity says that would mean Tubbo would be under Las Nevadas law, but Tubbo disagrees

- Quackity proposes that they consider Tubbo’s outpost an embassy of Snowchester, while everything else is under Las Nevadas’ jurisdiction

- Tubbo suggests Quackity follow the path of least resistance instead of targetting Tubbo. Quackity says he’ll deal with Wilbur and Eret, but he wants to deal with Tubbo with words. He doesn’t want the outpost there

- They return to the others having gotten nowhere. They keep bickering for several more minutes

- Tubbo asks Foolish why he changed his mind from yesterday, where Foolish built a palm tree

- Quackity says that if he doesn’t stop Tubbo and Ranboo from building this place, what’s stopping them from going around and claiming other things if he lets them have this piece of land? He has to put his foot down

- Quackity says they’ll get rid of the outpost if they don’t come to an agreement. He will not allow more expansion

Quackity: “Is that how you want to take it, Tubbo? Is that where you want to take it?”

Tubbo: “Big Q...what’s happened to you?”

“What’s happened to you, Tubbo?! I’m making a really fair request! I have a country in the middle of nowhere and you decided to come in front of my country and build this massive structure, which you call a cookie outpost -- really, it’s a military outpost! It’s a strategic military outpost, that’s what it is.”

Tubbo: “Yeah, that’s what it is.”

Quackity: “Why wouldn’t you choose -- what?”

- Whether it is or isn’t, Tubbo says, is his business. Quackity says it is his business since it’s right by his country

Quackity: “I’ll bleed and die for my country, Tubbo. Whether it be you, Tommy, whoever else, I’ll bleed and die for my goddamn country!”

- Quackity would rather they come to a compromise. Tubbo says it’s hard to come to a compromise with someone who isn’t compromising

- Quackity doesn’t know why Tubbo would want a strategic military position outside of Las Nevadas and he doesn’t have a good history with walls. He doesn’t want there to be conflict

Quackity: "Tubbo, I'm going to get rid of this cookie outpost."

Tubbo: "Best of luck."

- There’s not enough space in this land. Foolish asks about how Tubbo is with Tommy and Wilbur, how they might join them

- Ranboo says he’s never been violent and they aren’t a threat. Quackity reminds Ranboo about what happened with George’s house, and there’s a first time for everything

- Quackity once believed in peace, and it didn’t work out for him

- Tubbo states that whether or not the outpost is a military base, it doesn’t matter, it could go either way. They should take it up at a later date, once he’s thought things through. 

- The two speak in private again

Tubbo: “Hey, so you said you play a lot of Civ V, right?”

Quackity: “Yeah.”

Tubbo: “Are you aware of what Gandhi does in Civ V?”

- While Quackity starts telling him to explain himself, Tubbo immediately hangs up on him. Tubbo returns to the outpost

- Meanwhile, Quackity speaks with Ranboo with Foolish and Purpled. Ranboo warns Quackity to not do anything that would directly harm Tubbo

- Ranboo leaves and Quackity talks with Foolish. For the time being, they’re keeping the Las Nevadas walls up

- Ranboo speaks with Tubbo. Tubbo says they won’t try to fight Quackity. He hasn’t done anything bad towards them yet, and has two other fronts to deal with

- Foolish tells Quackity about how Tubbo lost a nuke, and they aren’t sure who would have it. Las Nevadas isn’t giving into them

- Quackity tells the other two that everyone is going to look for conflict, and he wants to give them a chance to back out now

Foolish: “I’ve been in the sand long enough, and...I think it’s time to change things.”

Purpled: “If I went through all of that just to leave this place, I don’t know where I’d be or what I’d do. I mean there’s not really other options for me, are there.”

- Quackity asks how powerful the nukes are. Foolish tells him he’s seen where they built them and they’ve done a test

- Las Nevadas needs the walls. Quackity wants to run tests with canons to test strength of materials

- Foolish asks who’s a part of Las Nevadas. Foolish hasn’t met Slime yet

- Meanwhile, Tubbo and Ranboo listen to a disc together at the outpost, looking out across the land

- They plan to just let Quackity cool off a bit. Ranboo has no quarrel with Quackity and thinks he’s probably a good person. Tubbo says he’s done some questionable things

- Tubbo tells him Quackity was actually the whole driving force behind Technoblade’s execution. Ranboo doesn’t hold it against him. Tubbo’s worried he’s been on his own for so long that he doesn’t know how the world works anymore

- Tubbo also says that Quackity wanted to execute Ranboo, but Tubbo managed to talk him down

Tubbo: “...Did you know I got executed?”

Ranboo: “Hm?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, I know. Have I never told you this?”

Ranboo: “H -- no, you -- you have -- you -- you did?”

Tubbo: “Yeah. Technoblade. Blew me up.”

Ranboo: “What? He -- why did he blow you up?”

Tubbo: “He was peer-pressured into it by Schlatt and Big Q.”

Ranboo: “Like -- by Quackity again?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, see, I’m starting to establish a pattern of behavior, if you know what I mean.”

- He cautions Ranboo to keep it in the back of his mind in regards to Quackity

Ranboo: “Are you -- are you okay? From that?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, I’m fine. Yeah, you know, a little bit burnt from the firework explosions, but you know, it’s fine.”

- Tubbo’s concerned that there might be something sinister going on beneath the surface of Las Nevadas, which is why he wants to observe. If it’s between violence and nonviolence, though, he wants to do things nonviolently if possible

Ranboo: “Are we doing the right thing?”

Tubbo: “Um...we’re kinda just chilling out, we’re doing our own thing. I mean, right and wrong depends on which side you are. Right and wrong isn’t really a fair way to describe things, like, I’ve done shitty things. You’ve done -- you’ve unknowingly done shitty things, but you know.”

Ranboo: “Am I a bad person because of that?”

Tubbo: “No. Like I said, right and wrong just depends what side you’re on.”

Ranboo: “Okay...you would tell me if I was a bad person though, right?”

Tubbo: “Yeah, I’d tell you if you step out of line. And, like so, you’d do the same for me, yeah?”

Ranboo: “Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.”

Tubbo: “Yeah.”

Ranboo: “We’ll just be...safe.”

Tubbo: “Yeah, if we just stick to our side of the river...”

- And if all hell breaks loose, they have a deterrent

- Quackity takes the Las Nevadans to the side of the outpost and says he wants weapons there. They discuss plans for where to build their wall

- Foolish asks who’s the bigger threat to Las Nevadas right now. Quackity isn’t as worried about Tommy and Wilbur, whereas Ranboo and Tubbo have done rapid expansion

-  Foolish has several stacks of obsidian. He asks if Quackity wants any sabotage happening...

- Quackity says that if they so much as destroy a single block of sand, they will react. But until then, they’ll just create the wall. He likes where Foolish’s mind is going, though

Foolish: “Making me feel young again, Quackity!”

- Sam mentioned having a gunpowder farm. Quackity will speak with him

- Quackity asks Foolish about this thing called “L’Sandburg...” Foolish starts explaining it. He says it’s a similar dispute to this one with BadBoyHalo 

- Quackity isn’t sure what Tubbo’s relationship with Tommy is nowadays. Foolish tried asking about it and it seems like they went their separate ways

- Quackity asks Foolish and Purpled at how good they are at PvP. Purpled’s pretty good, Foolish might be a bit rusty. Quackity is awful and asks if they could help him train

- Quackity asks Purpled what his relationship with Dream was back in the day. Back in the days of L’manburg, Purpled didn’t have a strong allegiance to anyone. There was never any point where he and Dream really spoke much. Same with everyone else

- As for who Purpled got along with...not really anyone in particular. There was no one person that Purpled was long-term friends with. He spoke with Punz some, but hasn’t seen him in a while. (Foolish saw him recently making a giant trampoline)

- Foolish talks about the missing nuke and mentions he used to be part of Snowchester -- Quackity, hearing this, presses him on it, surprised to learn it. Foolish joined in his first few days, but they kept things from him

- Quackity asks if Snowchester ever tested the nukes, how much damage they could do. Foolish saw the crater

- Quackity asks Purpled if he was there for the destruction of L’manburg. Foolish wasn’t, but Purpled was. Nukes weren’t used, but it was destroyed all the way down to bedrock. If they could replicate that device for defense purposes...

- Foolish also suggests they put together one of the flying versions of the TNT machines. TNT flying bombers. Quackity likes the idea. He wants to be ready for anything

- Quackity tells them both about what happened with Wilbur

Quackity: “When someone goes and claims a part of your land, you don’t really know how to react. But Wilbur took that plot of land and claimed it as his own. What I should’ve done was prevent it from escalating...”

- Foolish asks if Quackity plans to recruit other people. There are a lot of people Quackity hasn’t spoken to, and if he finds people with potential, he might ask them

Quackity: “We don’t want sleepy people in the country.”

Foolish: “Who’s a sleepy person you’re thinking of?”

- Quackity reminds them about George sleeping through the elections. He asks what’s the last they’ve heard about Niki. Foolish last saw her while working on Kinoko, as she was under there first. Quackity is surprised to learn this

- Foolish tells them a bit about what Ponk’s been doing

- There’s also the new guy, Michael. Foolish has spoken with him and thinks he could possibly fit in

- As Foolish and Purpled continue to work on covering up the river, Fundy comes over and Foolish fills him in on what happened

- Fundy is wearing Quackity’s outfit (he went into Quackity’s closet and stole an outfit that fit him). Quackity comes back and notices, telling him he looks great!

- Quackity tells Fundy about what’s going on. They’re building walls right now

- While everything goes on back at the mainland, Puffy takes down her L’Llamaburg towers with plans to move to a more discreet location

-

--- TOMMY AND SLIME ARRIVE ---

-

- Tommy logs on and goes exploring around Las Nevadas a bit (and running into Purpled) before heading home. He notices that there aren’t many railways around

- He returns to Las Nevadas and sees Tubbo’s outpost. He makes it to the tollbooth and meets Foolish face to face. He passes through and goes to the headquarters. Wilbur said the goal was to upset Quackity

- Meanwhile, the Las Nevadans go over to the edge and see Tommy down there. Tommy speaks with Tubbo and Ranboo, who both come over to Fort Big

- Tommy makes a memorial for Ghostbur

- Quackity still has his Manberg war banner. Fundy shows him his prized heirloom, Shclatt, passed down to him from Schlatt himself as he died. Quackity also has stacks of obsidian from the L’manburg wall, one of which he keeps for history purposes

- Foolish points out how Tommy is traumatized by Dream and shows Quackity how he can put on Dream’s head to scare him, saying they can play mental games as well. 

He also has the Wilbur head as well and puts it on

Fundy: “Oh, I’m not too keen on that one...”

- Fundy presents the Las Nevadas shield to Quackity

- Tommy drinks the invisibility potion and sneaks over to where the Las Nevadans are standing. They know he’s there, but can’t see him

- Tommy shows himself to them as a pair of pants, introducing himself as “Trousers.” He asks if he can join and gamble. Quackity shows him a gambling machine: a pit of lava he can step into

- “Trousers” asks why they hate Wilbur. Quackity says it’s because Wilbur was one of the reasons L’manburg was destroyed (he read it on a Wiki somewhere)

- Tommy notices his time running out and quickly runs back to Fort Big, getting away from them and speaking with Tubbo and Ranboo again. Slime is there watching by the restaurant as he runs by

- Tommy explains Karl Marx to Ranboo while the Las Nevadans discuss what happens “when two pants love each other very much”

- They introduce Slime to Foolish while Tommy comes up with an idea to build a railway around Las Nevadas

- Slime is wearing a new outfit -- a green version of Quackity’s clothes

- They clarify to Slime that pants do not have sex and Quackity goes to ask Tommy what he’s doing. Tommy tells him he’s creating a free railway that costs no money. Ranboo says he’s not involved

- While they talk about Slime’s fear of pants, Slime refers to Foolish as “Foolish From a Long Time Ago”

- Quackity threatens to destroy Tommy’s country the same way Tommy destroyed his house all that time ago

- Quackity brings Tommy over to apologize to Slime for scaring him

Slime: “Hey Tommyinnit From a Bunch of Places, thank goodness you’re not pants!”

- Tommy tells Quackity that he knows Quackity was trying to manipulate him into joining Las Nevadas, and he doesn’t stand with him

- Quackity asks his relationship with Ranboo and Tubbo. Tommy says they’re friends. Quackity apologizes for what happened with Wilbur the other day

- Meanwhile, Slime and the others talk about flowers “breeding” and Foolish asks if earthquakes are mitosis

- Tommy and Quackity talk about Wilbur. Quackity says he’s just returning the favor by rejecting Wilbur from his country. Tommy tells him two wrongs don’t make a right. You can’t just exclude people

- Quackity asks, what if Dream one day walks out of prison and wants to join Tommy’s country? Tommy says it’s different, Wilbur’s changed and Dream hasn’t -- but Quackity asks how exactly Wilbur’s changed

- If Tommy ever wants to have a conversation, Quackity will be in Las Nevadas. He holds no grudges. Quackity leaves and Tommy works on the railway

- Quackity comes back to the Las Nevadans to find that they’re having The Talk. He tells them that Wilbur was manipulating Tommy into joining him

Slime: “Manipulation? That sounds bad!”

Quackity: “Manipulation is bad, Slime!”

- Quackity says goodbye and heads out. Slime sees in full panoramic vision

- Slime digs himself into a hole. Then he tries to teach Foolish how to do mitosis

- Slime asks Foolish what “among us” is and asks if he is “Susicle”

- Tommy comes over

Slime: “Tommyinnit From Nowhere in Particular!”

- He asks them to come to the casino, explaining that he lost something through gambling that he needs to build his railway: his “romantic shovel”

- Slime gives Tommy a loan to gamble for her back. He asks Tommy what “sympathy” is. Tommy scares him away by pretending to be pants

- Tommy tells Foolish his shovel was named “Linda.” Foolish goes to check the system (going outside and retrieving Linda from his Ender Chest)

- Tommy won’t leave until he gets the shovel back and threatens to “take the boy,” turning to Slime and offering to lead him to a box that he can sit in forever. Foolish has Linda, but he wants something in return for spending his money gambling to get her

- Tommy takes a piece of Slime and starts walking away with Slime following to retrieve himself

Tommy: “You’re going to be such a good prisoner.”

Slime: “Like Dream!”

- Foolish puts on the Dream head and Tommy starts running, telling Charlie to follow him. He brings Charlie to Fort Big and puts Slime in a hole

- Slime starts doing mitosis. Tommy tells him to not do it and asks if he would like to betray Foolish, telling him that “betrayal is good.” 

Slime: “Dream From Manhunt ate him!”

- They drop some bars

Tommy: “My name is Tommyinnit and I’m here to say, I keep prisoners in a different way! I - am - immoral!”

- Foolish starts digging Slime out. He gives Tommy a fake Linda but Tommy notices the difference. Tommy reminds Slime about betrayal and tells Foolish to leave

- They ask if Slime is having fun

Slime: “I have just been having a time! Since I was sludge! None of it has been good, none of it has been bad, it’s all just been time! Oozing onwards to the inevitable destruction of everything! One day we will all be soup, so in a way I’m not so different than the inescapable future!”

Tommy: “What he means is he’s having fun.”

- Foolish leaves. Tommy keeps Slime’s gloop, which gives him 33% control over what Slime does. The Prisoner Hole in Fort Big will be Slime’s home, and they’ll upset Quackity 

- Slime says he’s (definitely not) a pile of goop that’s been in the ground observing everything. Tommy notes that they seem quite alike

Slime: “Tommyinnit...I haven’t been exiled!”

- Tommy asks how he knows. Slime saw. Why didn’t he help? Slime says he glooped around a little. 

- Tommy leaves Slime in the hole. He has the idea to threaten him as the legs later

- Foolish worries that if Tommy gets Linda back, he’ll lose the one bargaining chip he has over Tommy and Tommy will just manipulate Slime, who is very impressionable

- Maybe next time he should just fight back instead of trying to work through tricks all the time. He did say he would be changing things. Or maybe he should just get rid of Linda?

- He can also just work on his Dream impression. He ends stream, hoping to finish the gas station tomorrow

-

--- RANBOO AND SLIME ---

-

- Ranboo thinks to himself at the outpost. He and Tubbo just wanted to expand their area for a wheat farm, and now Quackity’s gone and gotten in the way as well as covered up the river

- He has no ill feelings towards Quackity, except possibly -- well, he learned that Tubbo was executed, found out that Quackity wanted to have Ranboo executed

- He’s not sure how to handle this. Should he say something to Techno? He wants to stay peaceful

- Ranboo spots the shadow of a nametag moving behind the wall. He pauses work on the farm

- He comes to the gate to find Slime behind the lava wall. When Ranboo lowers the wall, Slime starts running. Ranboo confronts Slime outside and questions what he was doing

- Slime asks who Ranboo is. Ranboo tells him simply, “Ranboo”

- Slime tells him that Tommyinnit From Nowhere has 33% of his “meat” and that he was put in jail

- Slime says he’s from the ground before correcting to “the womb.” Ranboo says it’s nice to meet him and asks if he’s human, noting that he’s “slimy”

- Slime tells him that he was with Quackity From Las Nevadas, but now he is with Tommy From Nowhere because Tommy can control him with “meat”

- Ranboo tells him he -- Ranboo -- is not human. Slime directs him to spin around and jump before referring to him as a “brother slime.” Because if Ranboo is not human, he must be slime

- Slime tells him the truth: he is actually goo. They enter the outpost and Ranboo gives him a cookie to eat. Slime hasn’t seen any other slimes up here. It took a long time and a lot of watching for Slime to look like this

- Ranboo doesn’t think, genetically, it’s possible for him to be Slime’s brothers. Slime tells him genetics are a lie, they must be brothers, and tells him “I forget too”

- Quackity has taught Slime how to be friends! Slime demonstrates by digging himself into a hole and telling Ranboo that he’s going to kill him, then Ranboo will work for him, and thus they are best friends

- Ranboo tells him that isn’t what friendship is, and that friendship is based on kindness. Slime hands Ranboo some bones to keep up his disguise

- People can’t find out what they really are. If they found out, who knows what would happen? Slime has seen what they’ve done...

- After learning that Ranboo has been speaking with the others, Slime asks what he has learned about friendship (he refers to Ranboo as “Ran-goo.”

- Ranboo explains it with acts of kindness, like cookies. Slime tries this by charging interest on the cookie

Slime: “How else is the house supposed to win?”

- Slime learns that people don’t get things back necessarily, but rather trust and friendship. A “bond” (he confuses it for the investment definition)

- Ranboo tries explaining it by talking about an emotional attachment to a pet -- if the pet died, one would feel sad. Slime asks how?

- Slime gives Ranboo some goo to patch himself up. Ranboo “does so,” and Slime says he is now a part of Ranboo

- Ranboo tells him that someone telling them they’ll kill you isn’t a good thing. Slime asks why not -- everyone will be dust eventually

- Ranboo continues to teach Slime about friendship. Slime wants to understand why people do what they do

- Ranboo tries to tell Slime that he’s not a slime, but Slime still doesn’t believe him. He’s part Enderman and part...he’s not slime and he’s also not human

- Ranboo gives Slime his parts back. Slime tells him about how Fundy From L’manburg ate a part of him and now Slime is part of Fundy forever. Slime hands Ranboo more slime and asks if he has a mouth. They can have “a bond”

- Ranboo tells him he’ll keep it on him, but not eat it

- Slime says he hasn’t seen Ranboo. Ranboo hasn’t seen him either, since he seems to be new

- Ranboo tells him he’s been here since after L’manburg got destroyed the second time (which Ranboo refers to as the first). Slime notes that that place got blown up a lot

- Ranboo shows him grass blocks. Slime tries to pick one up, but he can’t

- Ranboo notes that Slime is one of the only people that he can look right in the eyes

- Slime tries to give his cookies back to God. When it doesn’t work, he gives them to Ranboo

- He tells Slime to not hurt people, even if other people tell him to. Slime has to think for himself about what he wants to do

- Slime goes into the ground where he will commune with the gravel to think about what Ranboo has said

Slime: “When I come out, promise you won’t be dust!”

- Ranboo watches Slime, who remains in the hole. Slime begins whispering to himself about the nature of existence while Ranboo stands there listening

- Slime comes back up, saying he was just “processing.” Ranboo tells him he used to go to an obsidian room when he needed to process

- Ranboo tells him that if Slime ever needs advice, he’s free to ask him. Ranboo also tells him that friends aren’t supposed to be controlling of you. Slime won’t let people control him

- Slime leaves to return to prison, telling Ranboo he won’t let anyone keep him down again!

- Ranboo hopes he’ll learn about free will soon. Something tells Ranboo Slime should probably be protected

- When Ranboo met Slime, he saw himself in him. He used to be like Slime back in L’manburg, going along with people and things

- Ranboo just wants to be supportive of Tubbo. He thought the scars came from Tubbo just testing something. He doesn’t know how he feels about Techno doing it

- He hasn’t seen Techno in a while...

- Ranboo heads to the strip club to visit the place he made

- After thinking some more, Ranboo leaves some signs with a gift chest saying he’s sorry to Quackity that they got off on the wrong foot, and would like to talk some more

-

--- QUACKITY VS. RANBOO, AREA 51 ---

-

- Bad and Skeppy log on, Bad planning to possibly build Skeppy’s statue

- Quackity logs on in Las Nevadas and finds some food. He notices the gift box, reads the signs and finds the Yeezys and cookies. He’s not impressed

- He runs into Ranboo coming up from the tunnel and tells him to pay the toll. He gets Ranboo to come back to the toll booth and then blocks off the tunnel, saying Las Nevadas is closed for the day

- The two speak. Ranboo tells him he has no ill intentions. Quackity asks why his partner threatened to nuke Las Nevadas. Ranboo tells him the nukes were decommissioned, but Quackity still took it as a threat

- Quackity tells him the only way they’ll be on a good foot is if they relocate the outpost. Ranboo tries to explain, but Quackity hangs up and walks away

- Quackity explains his thinking, how he feels threatened by why a cookie outpost would need such a massive wall. Quackity has to protect his country

- Foolish logs on. Quackity intends to continue building up the wall until it encloses the entire area

- Quackity speaks with Foolish, who tells him about Tommy taking Slime prisoner because Foolish wouldn’t give the shovel Linda back

- Quackity starts running as Foolish continues to fill him in. Foolish shows him Linda in his hand. Quackity is outraged that Tommy would hurt Slime over a shovel

- He’s also mad that Foolish would let it happen. They get to the tollbooth and spot Ranboo running around again

- Quackity tells Ranboo that if Ranboo wants peace, they’ll have to compromise. Foolish was inspecting the outpost and found gunpowder. Quackity doesn’t like the area that they’ve used to build these farms that are heading towards Las Nevadas

- Meanwhile, Skeppy and Bad argue and Skeppy pricks himself to death on a cactus

- Quackity tries to explain his position to Ranboo again. He wants it on paper that they’ll have no issues, and he wants compromise

- They continue to argue. Las Nevadas has plans of expansion

- They keep arguing and eventually, Quackity tells Ranboo to talk it out with Tubbo and to stop expanding. They part ways and Quackity asks Foolish’s thoughts on this. They talk about the expansion

- The subject returns to Slime, and Foolish explains how Tommy came barging in asking for Linda. Quackity tells him to just give Linda back. He trusts that Tommy’s a good person and won’t cause more trouble if Foolish just returns it

- Foolish asks if another situation like the one with Tommy and Slime happens again, how should he handle it. 

Quackity: “You know what we need, Foolish? ...We need laws. We need jurisdiction.”

- Purpled comes over as they start taking down the extra cobble wall they built earlier

- They finish and Quackity speaks with Purpled back in Las Nevadas. Quackity points out that the country is very exposed right now, and they need a backup plan: an underground city expansion

- Purpled tells him about the underground part of his base beneath the UFO he used to have and Quackity asks for him to show it to him. They go over there

- The underground area could be where all of the functional things are, away from the flashy tourist attractions

- They reach “Area 51,” the underground area. Quackity remembers how he and Tommy used to smuggle drugs through the sewers there

- Purpled shows him around through all the secret rooms. They figure out the combination lock

- Quackity also directs Foolish to place more sand, since that’s where people assume the borders stop

- Purpled fixes the entryway to Area 51. Quackity wants something similar done in Las Nevadas

- With regards to conflicts, Quackity trusts them to act on their own judgement. He leaves them with that and heads out

---

Upcoming Events:

- Final Egg lore stream [POSSIBLY SOME TIME NEXT WEEK]

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Dream’s lore video

- Ponk’s lore stream

- Possible Lore Suit court battle

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #long posts #dsmp #this took so long oh my god #apologies for things I missed/messed up! #usually I'd have more time to go back and double-check details but...yeeeah

[jekde04]

Of Sudden Rains and Lasting Promises

Pairing: Gruvia (Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser) Fandom: Fairy Tail Genre: Romance Word Count: 2,254 words Summary: She had been fairly good at controlling the rain and not letting her emotions influence it too much. But there were a couple of instances in the past that it went out of hand–and it always involved one person. Just like how it did now. Prompt: Tears (Day 4 of Gruvia Week 2021, but I'm so late I don't want to tag it as such anymore lol) Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics. Tag list (I'm so sorry I totally forgot to tag you in my last few fics!): @shampooneko @fbflame94 @juviaafullbuster @unvalley @gruviaftw11​ (Wanna be tagged, lemme know)

She didn't mean to make it rain. But thank heavens it was just a drizzle.

It had been a while since it last happened. She had been fairly good at controlling the rain and not letting her emotions influence it too much. But there were a couple of instances in the past that it went out of hand–and it always involved one person.

Just like how it did now.

Juvia wiped the thin streaks of rain pelting her face. She decided to sit on the park bench right under a big oak tree, but the rain must be getting stronger now because the thick canopy of leaves had become inadequate to protect her. She heard a man curse and remark how annoying the sudden rain was as he hastened to pack up the magazines and newspapers he was selling.

She was the gloomy rain woman once again.

"You shouldn't be out under the rain like that."

A hand holding a familiar pink umbrella appeared beside her, shielding her from the worsening downpour. She didn't need to look to know who it was.

"How did Gray-sama get Juvia's umbrella?"

"You left it in the guild, so I borrowed it for myself," Gray said as he moved to sit beside her, all the while not letting the shade of the umbrella leave her head. He moved his damp bangs away from his eyes and ruffled his hair to shake the droplets off.

"Gray-sama can use Juvia's umbrella. No need to ask Juvia," she muttered. She could feel Gray inching closer to her to make sure they're both under the umbrella, their arms and legs touching.

"I know. I just happened to see you here, and it's kinda unfair to keep the umbrella for myself while the owner is getting drenched."

Juvia looked at him, his chiseled profile matching the perpetual frown on his face. She already knew how handsome he was, yet her heart still beat fast every time she looked at him.

But she also couldn't help that sinking feeling in her chest when she remembered what she overheard earlier. She sighed.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"Hmm-mmm," Juvia answered. She wondered if she should ask him or just let him broach the subject. Finally, she decided to just stay in comfortable silence as the rain poured in a steady rhythm.

"Juvia?"

"Yes?"

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

There it is, she thought, but she didn't dare hope. It could be something else.

"Juvia is listening."

A long pause, with nothing but the incessant downpour and the few people out and about being all that they could hear.

"I'm going on a quest with my team." When Juvia didn't say anything, he continued, "It's gonna take a while."

Really, it shouldn't hurt like this. Mages like them go on quests all the time.

But this one was different, she knew.

"Juvia knows. Everyone was talking about it at the guild." She looked at him while he continued to stare straight ahead as if counting each drop of rain. "You're doing Gildarts-san's failed quest, right? The one that hasn't been solved for 100 years."

"Yes."

What was a previously light shower started to transform into heavier rain, bigger drops falling from the sky and making plop-plop noises on the umbrella shielding them. She could feel drops hitting the right side of her body, and she knew that it would only be a matter of time before the wetness would start to seep through her thick clothes.

She felt Gray squeeze closer to her and reposition the umbrella to cover her entire body. Glancing at him, she noticed that half of his body was getting drenched by the sudden heavy downpour.

"Gray-sama, you're getting wet," she said as she moved even closer to him, grabbing the umbrella and trying to cover him better.

"Don't worry about me," he told her, moving his arm around her shoulders so that they could fit under the umbrella better. The sudden warm sensation as Gray practically embraced her lit Juvia's pale cheeks with a pink tinge, but she couldn't bring herself to say more to him.

After a few beats, he said, "I'm sorry you had to hear it from other people. I was planning to tell you, you know."

Despite the dark clouds in the sky and her heart, Juvia couldn't help but smile. At least Gray wasn't planning to just leave her in the dark this time, like what he did when he disappeared without a trace for six months. The thought of it made tears well in her eyes, and she hastily wiped them with the back of her hand, lest the rain worsened.

Gray looked at her, concern written all over his face. "Hey, you can say no if you don't want me to leave."

At this, Juvia looked at him, her eyes wide. "What?"

"If you're not fine with it, I won't go."

"Is Gray-sama asking Juvia's permission to go on a mission?" she asked, not believing what she was hearing.

Gray blushed and looked away from her. He shrugged. "Maybe."

"But why?"

"Well, you are..." Gray swallowed, as if a thick lump had formed in his throat. "You are... my… my friend. And what you think is important to me."

She should have been sad to be called just a "friend," but for some reason, Juvia felt warmth spread in her chest. Gray wasn't particularly good with his words, but he always made up for it in his actions.

And now, he was actually considering her feelings. Ready to throw away the chance to go on a once-in-a-lifetime quest if she said so.

"Does Gray-sama want to go?"

His brows creased in thought, and it took him a moment before he answered. "Yeah, I think so. There's a part of me that wants to stay, but a bigger part of me wants to get stronger."

Juvia furrowed her brows as she looked up at him. "But Gray-sama is already very strong. Juvia knows she says this a lot, but you really are one of the strongest mages she knows."

"I'm not planning to be the strongest out there," he said. "I just want to be strong enough to protect the people that matter to me."

Juvia rolled her eyes. "Everyone at Fairy Tail can protect themselves. You have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not talking about Fairy Tail," Gray answered, his gaze darting once again to the empty rain-drenched street. She may just have imagined it, but she thought she saw his cheeks darken as he tightened his grip on her shoulder.

"There is... someone... I cherish. Someone I almost lost before. I don't want that to happen again. I want to be strong, so I can keep her safe."

It was so unusual for Gray to talk about his feelings that it left Juvia dumbfounded. Of course, she didn't want to assume or make Gray uncomfortable, but…

What the hell. He was leaving soon, and she had to let him know how much he mattered to her. One more time.

"Juvia is sure that whoever that someone is, she already thinks Gray-sama is wonderful and more than enough," she said. And in a lower voice, she added, "And she believes that her love for him won't change whether he's the strongest mage on Earthland or just an ordinary man without powers. Because she loves him just the way he is right now."

She sneaked a peek at Gray, whose eyes she couldn't see behind his bangs, but his cheeks had definitely turned a dark shade of red. And maybe it was just her imagination again, but was that a shadow of a smile appearing on his face?

The rain was finally letting up, the dark clouds gradually going away. Yet the two of them remained huddled under Juvia's umbrella. Gray started to subconsciously play with the tips of her hair, curling and uncurling them on his fingers. Not that she minded, though.

"I know that. After all, she's the kindest person I know," Gray said. "That is why I want to be the best version of myself. For her. I don't want to be anything less because she deserves only the best."

Juvia could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, but she fought it and willed herself not to boil or turn into a puddle. The dark clouds were all gone now, replaced by the sun's rays taking a peek from the clouds and giving an ethereal sheen to their surroundings.

"Gray-sama is so sweet. Whoever she is, she's one lucky girl."

"Trust me, I'm luckier," Gray said, grinning at her. Then, realizing that the rain had stopped and the sun was out, he closed the umbrella and stood up, stretching his hand for Juvia to grab.

"I guess someone's feeling less sad now?" he asked, and Juvia blushed.

She took Gray's hand, and he intertwined their fingers as they started walking towards Fairy Hills. "How did Gray-sama know?"

"Let's just say I also have a Juvia-radar that tells me when you need a bit of cheering up," Gray told her, and Juvia couldn't help the swarm of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

Maybe it was due to their interlocked hands and the way his thumb mindlessly caressed her knuckles. Or perhaps the fact that he was walking her home, though he had been doing that for quite some time now. Or maybe it was because of how well he knew her–and actually cared about her.

It was all of the things he had said and done… and even all the unsaid ones that brought unparalleled joy in her heart. Because she felt… no, she knew that she was loved. Deeply and completely.

But she had to ask him one more thing.

"Gray-sama?'

"Hmm?"

"Can you promise... that certain someone... one thing?"

"What is it?"

"Promise her you'll come back."

Gray chuckled. "Of course. I promise I'll come back home to her, no matter what. I will come back as a man worthy of her love. "

She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back, and they continued walking hand-in-hand, no words needed.

They were at the gate of Fairy Hills when Gray spoke again.

"Juvia?"

"Yes, Gray-sama?"

He had stopped walking and faced her. "Wait for me, will you?"

A bright blush bloomed on her cheeks. Gray had always been indirect with her, yet here he was, asking her (and not a certain someone) to wait for him.

As if there would be any other answer.

"Always, Gray-sama."

And, in a moment of boldness, she tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek, her lips lingering for a second before letting him go. She caught sight of his reddened cheeks before he turned his face away and awkwardly patted her head with his free hand.

"We won't be leaving until the end of the week, so, um... would you like to... spend some time with me?"

Juvia's eyes sparkled. "Is Gray-sama asking Juvia out on a–"

"Not a date!" Gray quickly interrupted. "Just, um, hanging out with each other since I'm going away and we're not going to see each other for a long time."

Juvia smiled knowingly. Nothing would change her mind that Gray was asking her out on a date, but of course, she would let him believe that they were just "hanging out" if that was what he wanted.

"Let Juvia think." She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped a finger on her chin. "Hmm, Juvia wants to eat caramade franks, go fishing–"

"You wanna go fishing? We can do that."

"Really? Juvia's so happy! She was told it's always raining around her, so she can't be taken fishing or camping or–"

"Who said that? That's a load of crap," Gray said, irritated. "Tell me and I'll punch his brains out."

Juvia placed a hand on his arm. "Not important, Gray-sama." She smiled and added, "Tomorrow, then?"

Gray nodded. And before she knew what was happening, she felt Gray pulling her body close to him, her hat yanked away from her head, and Gray's lips suddenly on her forehead. Her hands landed on his bare chest, and she could feel his heartbeat thumping loudly, probably as strong as the beating of her heart at the moment.

It ended as fast as it happened, and she found herself being pushed away by a flustered Gray, mumbling, "See you tomorrow!" As he hurriedly walked away from her, Juvia finally broke from her trance and had enough sense to shout, "Gray-sama, your clothes!"

"Crap!"

Juvia giggled as Gray picked up his discarded clothes and started wearing them, still a bit of pink coloring his cheeks. When he was done, he hastily waved goodbye to her and shouted, "Tomorrow!"

She watched his retreating form until he was no longer within her line of sight. Her heart ached a bit, knowing that he was going away soon, but it swelled with the promise that he would eventually come home to her–a better, stronger, and more confident man.

How that was even possible, she didn't know, as he was already perfect in her eyes. But she also hadn't imagined that she could even love him more, yet here she was, finding herself loving him a little bit more each day as he ever-so-slowly let her into his melting heart.

Clutching her hat to her heart, she entered Fairy Hills.

A/N: I'm still writing Gruvia Week fics? You bet I am! It would be a waste if I don't flesh out those drafts I did before, right? Thank you for still reading my fics. I appreciate them a lot and you inspire me to keep writing. Btw, the fishing thing is a reference to the FT 100 YQ chapter 11 cover. And also to what Bora said to Juvia once. :)

#gruvia #gruvia fanfic #gruvia fanfiction #gray x juvia #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #fairy tail

[earnestly-endlessly]

hey!! Your fic recommendations are always elite–I was wondering if you had any kid fics, thank you <3

Hi anon. I have plenty of kid fics for you. Since you didn't quite specify what kind of kid fic you wanted I decided to divide it into fics where Charles and Erik are kids or get deaged and fics that involve kids. This is kind of a long list so I hope that there are plenty of new fics for you to read.

Cherik Kid Fic

--They are kids or get deaged--

Conspiracy of Kisses - Alaceron

Summary: Seven-year-old Erik needs to keep his telepathic best friend Charles from finding out that he wants to kiss him. But that's okay, because he has a plan - he'll put on a tinfoil hat.

Chasing After You - Alaceron

Summary: Charles isn't very good at tag. Erik helps

We’ll be the sum - afrocurl, ninemoons42

Summary: In between bouts of blanket burrito-ing and vegging out on movies, Charles and Erik figure out how they currently feel about each other.

Of course, they're schoolboys and they're on a sleepover and also Edie dotes on them both excessively, so things work out just fine.

Growing pains - ikeracity

Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.

Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.

Valentine’s day – ikeracity

Summary: Kid fic! Erik waits impatiently all day at school to give Charles a card for Valentine's Day. Maybe Charles has something for him too...?

Now You Know You Know it Now – luninosity

Summary: Erik’s not sure why he keeps glancing at the other boy. Not as if Erik likes other kids, or other people in general, for that matter. But still—he finds himself looking. Again.

This Family Comes with Batteries - Fishwrites, lynneh

Summary: An orphaned Charles Xavier goes to live with his Godfather: Tony Stark. This story is a tale of what would have happened to the events of MCU, if Tony was raising a six year old telepath in Stark Tower. There is also the matter of Charles' robot AI manny/bodyguard/tutor/only-friend, David.

You’re Not Doing This Alone – flightinflame, Lynds

Summary: What's meant to be a simple recruitment mission leads to both Erik and Charles being de-aged back to thirteen years old. Terrified and out of their depth, the boys try to hide their situation and help each other until they can work out what is going on.

Charles Xavier, A Retelling – Extra_fried_noodles

Summary: An attempt to reverse his paralysis goes wrong, and Charles is de-aged into a 2 year old toddler. While Hank scrambles to fix the situation, the whole gang is here to help. Through a mix of selective memory, they watch Charles relive his childhood, revealing some deeply hidden and painful truths.

Protective Instinct – Groovyhornbill

Summary: Charles and Erik were testing Cerebro’s new prototype when things went very wrong.

Divergence – Lynds

Summary: Universes and timelines collide, dropping two younger versions of Charles Xavier into the midst of the hunt for Sebastian Shaw. Now the newly formed X-men have to deal with a strangely quiet and self-reliant six year old, and a sixteen year old covered in bruises.

Erik, in particular, has to accept that the man he loves hasn't had the kind, happy upbringing he wished for him. But these children are here now, and Erik's not going to let anyone hurt them this time.

--Where they have kids--

Sink or Swim – endingthemes

Summary: Erik is a struggling single dad of three kids with a burning hatred for Sebastian Shaw, the man who wronged him years ago. He’s tried to move on with his life, but a run-in with Shaw’s rude, spoiled omega, Charles, drags up old anger. When Charles ends up in the hospital after an accident, Erik goes to confront him only to find that Charles has amnesia. In the confusion, Charles mistakenly assumes that Erik is his mate.

Erik knows he should clear up the misunderstanding, but how can he pass up this perfect chance for a little revenge?

(An Overboard AU)

Rumor Has It - blueink3

Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."

Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

Words and Pictures – pocky_slash

Summary: When Lorna's powers manifest early, Charles Xavier's mutant picture books are the perfect teaching tool. Erik just hadn't expected the author to be so young. Or attractive. Or available.

Write this number down (you can call it anytime) – pocky_slash

Summary: When Erik upsets his children, they have a habit of running away from home--and straight to Charles' school for cookies and consolation. Charles doesn't mind the visitors, but as they appear more and more frequently, he realizes that sooner or later, he and Erik are going to have to talk about what happened on the beach and what it means for their future and the future of Erik's children.

Dress Your Family in Plaid and Skinny Jeans – cygnaut

Summary: Erik and Charles meet at the mutant playgroup/parenting support circle and they instantly hit it off. And so do their kids, Lorna and David.

Not What I was Expecting (So Much Better) – lazulisong

Summary: Erik, the single father, hires Charles, the grad student with the slightly shady past, to be his manny.

Heli Cases – Black_Betty

Summary: "Heli Cases" is a program on PBS whose aim is to educate on the rapidly increasing occurrence of genetic mutation in the general populous by breaking the complex science down into palatable, easy to digest pieces.

It is also the only thing that helps Erik get his fussy daughter to fall asleep.

(Featuring Dadneto, baby Lorna and the struggles of single fatherhood, and Charles as the host of a late night show about genetics.)

Doing Something for Yourself – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik is a hard working engineer and single dad, Charles runs a local Community Center where Wanda and Pietro spend their time after school. Erik accidentally makes Charles' acquaintance one Wednesday evening when he's running late from work. Erik has no idea if he stands a chance with his new acquaintance, but that isn't going to keep him from falling for the guy.

A Good Dad – listerinezero

Summary: Ten years later, Magneto has left the Brotherhood and Raven asks Charles to help her find him. Charles discovers that Erik is the single father of five year old twins Wanda and Pietro, and he is doing everything he can to keep them safe from his former enemies.

Take a Chance (On Me) – Ook

Summary: In which Charles, terrorised by his abusive ex, takes his young son to a small town in America, where they both settle down and make friends with their neighbours. Particularly the town mechanic, Erik, and his foster son, Alex. Requester stated they wanted to "drown in H/C. "

Can’t Buy Me Love – niniblack

Summary: Erik's a single dad struggling to make it work and nab the promotion he's been waiting for. The last thing he needs is to get involved with politician and notorious playboy Charles Xavier.

(The Maid in Manhattan pastiche that no one asked for.)

Ohana – royal_chandler

Summary: Erik's children are absolute hellions. If by hellions, one means children who are incredibly protective of their new family unit and won't let a few household mishaps get in the way of keeping it together.

One Second and a Million Miles – magneto

Summary: Between being a parent to the best baby in the history of man-kind and co-running a Mutant Center in Hell's Kitchen, Erik Lehnsherr has his hands pretty full. Too full, certainly for romance; something that has never really been on his radar to begin with.

All that changes, however, when he meets Dr. Charles Xavier. Handsome, intelligent, capable, kind, an Omega level telepath, and one of the best pediatricians in the state, he's everything Erik didn't know he was looking for. But he's also Lorna's pediatrician which means, of course, he's off-limits. Except how is Erik supposed to try and forget his crush when he and Charles keep running into each other as if fate is trying to tell them something? When, as Charles says, they seem to want the same thing?

Her Only Mutations Were Her Blue Eyes and Her Auburn Hair – Pookaseraph

Summary: While sneaking back out of Russia, Erik and Charles stumble across Anya, Erik's presumed dead daughter, and it changes quite a few little things along the way. Fluffy, self-indulgent, fix-it.

Despicably Yours – Cesare, veryorangecat

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr, AKA Magneto, is a supervillain without equal... except maybe one: Charles Xavier, AKA Professor X, AKA Erik's next door neighbor. When their competition heats up, Erik decides the only way to get ahead is to adopt four mutant orphans to infiltrate Charles's mansion.

Things don't go as planned.

The Wrong Impression – Rosawyn

Summary: Charles is trying to balance the responsibilities of his career with his responsibilities as a single father to a tiny baby. It's not something he ever thought he'd have to do, and it's not as easy as those women on the internet make it look! He does't have much of a social life (unless talking to his sister on the phone and attending a parents' class where he's the only guy count), and he doesn't even have time to think of dating. He's just trying to keep his job - and keep his son fed and healthy.

Marrying a Mob – Ook

Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".

Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.

Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.

Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.

#cherik #cherik fic recs #fic recs #asks #earnestly answers #kid fic #long post

[butgilinsky]

'cause maybe then you'd want me just as much // np

warning; heavy language, toxy relationships, love triangle to an extent, throwing up, mentions alcohol a lot, mentions of smut but nothing explicit, there's one make out scene in it, angst angst angst this is straight angst, i think that's it?

summary; after your split from Nolan, you can't seem to find a way for both of you to be happy. when you meet his girlfriend for the first time, everyone seems to think you've developed a crush on her. based on the song girl crush by little big town.

word count; 15.6k+

a/n; he baddies, so this is a lot. one thing i wanted to say quickly is that this is mainly a nolan fic, but there are heavy joel x reader themes throughout. a bit of a love triangle but that's not entirely the focus of it. so if you're here for a nolan fic, here ya go. if you're here for a beezer fic, strap in it just takes a bit of time to develop to that point(: enjoy!

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

“You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too.” your eyes instinctively rolled back, the anger burning in your chest only growing at his attempt to confront this situation head on. He had a tendency of doing that, going at something full force with little to no thought of how it’ll actually end up.

“That’s a stupid saying! Why would I want the cake in the first place if I can’t eat it?”

“Can you dissect the english language another time and just listen to me for once?” the scoff that tumbled past your lips was subconscious, something you couldn’t stop yourself from. “All i’m saying is-”

“I get it, Nolan. I won’t give you the satisfaction of claiming me in front of the entire world, and now you’re walking away from me. If you can’t tell everyone that I’m yours then it means I'm not, right?” his shoulders slumped, his chest deflating as your words resonated in his mind.

Truth be told, Nolan didn’t give a shit what other people thought. He didn’t care about other people’s view of him, nor did he care about their validation. All he wanted was to be able to tell his friends where he went after each of his games, who he spent his nights and mornings with. He didn’t want to keep lying about why he bought enough groceries to feed more than one person, or who called him when he was on the road.

He understood at first, why you wanted to keep things to yourself. For a while, he agreed with you. He didn’t want your friends to get in the way either, though the group the two of you were in made that slightly difficult. They thrived off of teasing each other, and the two of you did your fair share of teasing as well. One thing Nolan didn’t want was for his friends to make the two of you feel as if this was all a mistake. He didn’t want you to have to face any scrutiny from the team or anyone else, so the two of you agreed to keep things just between the two of you.

That all turned to shit around six months in, when Nolan stopped getting excited about slipping out of his apartment unseen or arriving at the rink just in time for him to duck underneath Claude’s radar. The secrecy wasn’t fun anymore. He didn’t need a label, didn’t need you to commit to an entire life with him, but he wanted to be able to show up to functions with you under his arm. He wanted to see you wearing your Patrick jersey outside of your apartment.

He wanted you to be his girlfriend, and he wanted everyone to know about it.

Nolan knew there were things that had happened to you in the past that made you hesitant to climb aboard. He tried to be patient, tried to give you the time and space you needed to get you to where he stood. But months passed and you never got there, and he was starting to lose faith that you’d ever get there. He was starting to think he was waiting for something that was never going to come.

“I’m not sneaking around anymore. You can decide what that means, but I refuse to have these secret rendezvous where I can’t even tell people where I’m going. We don’t have to put a label on it, I’ll wait an entire lifetime if I have to for that, but I’m sick of the lying and scheming and secrecy.” he didn’t know what was more important to you at this point; being with him or making sure you kept all of your walls up. He did know what his priorities were, where he stood on the subject matter, but that wasn’t enough anymore. Now it was up to you to decide where the two of you lie.

“So what’s it going to be y/n?”

The last time you had gone through a break up, it had hurt a lot less than this. The weeks following the split between you and Nolan had been harder than any breakup in the past. Maybe the thing that was making all of it worse was the fact that you were suffering in silence. Nobody knew about you and Nolan in the first place, so nobody knew about the breakup that wasn’t actually a breakup.

You didn’t see him for two weeks after he’d walked out of your apartment. You couldn’t bring yourself to go to his games, and you denied all of the team’s invitations to go out with them. Even when Joel and Travis showed up to your apartment with several bags of take out food and tried their best to pick your brain about what had been going on with you, you fabricated a story about how school and work were mixing together in an unappetizing way.

It was easy for the most part, to blame your mood on schoolwork. Most of the flyers had no idea how stressful college could be, given that even the ones that were in your age range had never gone to college. Apart from a few of them like Joel, who had spent a year in college before being drafted, they assumed that school was everything you said it was. So any time they invited you out and tried to tell you that you couldn’t come up with any more excuses, a simple lie about a project being due soon would fend them off for a few days before repeating the process.

You finally agreed to go to a game when Joel needed a last minute ride to the rink, which ended in him convincing you that since you were already there, you could stick around for the game. You were sure that he had planned it all out, no doubt with the help of a few of the guys in order to be convincing enough, but it worked. It got you in the seats where most of them stopped by to wave at you during warm ups.

The smile that crept onto your lips when Nolan scored was subconscious. You couldn’t help but smile and clap for him, a warm familiarity swimming in your chest. Normally you’d meet him at your apartment afterwards, sharing toothy smiles and sensual kisses that never failed to turn into more. Your bed was familiar with Nolan, claiming half of itself to be side and clearing out a space on your nightstand for his phone and water bottle.

But you couldn’t do that anymore, Nolan wasn’t yours to take home anymore. While the realization was tough to bear, you simply wiped the smile off of your face and barred a neutral expression for the remainder of the game. You clamped your lips shut in a tight line and kept your deafening thoughts to yourself.

Your life had made room for him, a space for him to slide in without much effort at all. Your routine molded itself around Nolan being there in the mornings and nights. It started as little things like buying a second phone charger to plug in on his side of the bed. Then it turned to buying double the amount of groceries and recording his favorite shows on tv. Then he had a toothbrush next to yours on the bathroom counter and a bottle of body wash next to your shampoo in the shower. They were little changes here and there that somehow made it feel like Nolan practically lived there.

Even if the words were never said out loud, you and Nolan had broken up. It was hard to wrap your head around, how you could break up with someone without even realizing that you were dating in the first place. It shouldn’t have been so detrimental to lose him, to not have his hips snapping into yours or wake up to him brewing coffee in your kitchen. It was never supposed to get this far, was never supposed to be a tale of two friends that pined for each other enough to cause these waves. It was what you had done your best to avoid over its entirety, but you failed.

And now you had to pretend as if none of it had ever happened.

“Get out of the car, y/n.” you rolled your eyes at Joel’s attempt to sound stern with you, given the look he was sending you through the door frame. His eyebrows were raised and his hands sat on his hips, as if he was your angry mother that was dragging you to soccer practice on a sunday morning. “You have five seconds or I'm carrying you inside.”

“Jesus, Joel I just dropped my chapstick, chill the fuck out.” he rolled his eyes but smiled when you began climbing out of the car.

It was almost painful to convince you to come to Claude and Ryanne’s cookout, an event you normally wouldn’t miss for the world. If this were three months ago, you would’ve been happy to oblige. You’d steal glances across the yard at the boy who was more often than not already looking at you. Maybe you’d meet up in one of the empty rooms far enough from everyone else that they wouldn’t hear you sharing affirmations or other things not appropriate for a family friendly cookout with practically everyone you knew in Philly.

But you knew when you woke up this morning that that wouldn’t happen. You don’t live in the past and you’re no longer able to share stolen glances and smiles with the blue eyed boy who had stolen your heart without you realizing it. Instead you’d be forced to act as if nothing had happened between the two of you. It was easy at games, given that you never truly had to talk to Nolan, but today wouldn’t be that easy. You were certain that at some point you’d have to talk to Nolan in order to eliminate any suspicion about the two of you giving each other the cold shoulder.

You had mentally prepared yourself for the disaster you may or may not encounter, the feelings that were bound to throb in the back of your mind upon seeing the boy with shoulder length hair and a voice that never failed to send a chill down your spine. What you hadn’t been expecting was the petite blonde girl tucked into his side, the one with bright blue eyes and a smile that surely had the entire room smiling right back at her.

The weight of the situation hit you at full force, almost knocking you off of your feet before you even stepped onto the grass in the backyard. You asked yourself if there was any way you could escape, any way you could find a last minute excuse and run out the door before he even saw you but then you remembered that Joel drove you, and there was no way he’d take you back now.

That, and Nolan locked eyes with you before you could form a coherent thought that might have gotten you out of this situation. He looked thrown off, like he hadn’t been expecting you to be here. He looked down at the girl beside him, painfull aware of how this all looked to you and finding a million and one things that he assumed were running through your mind.

“You alright?” your eyes flicked up to meet Joel’s that were flooded with confusion and worry at the sight of you clearly thrown off by something. But then you coughed and shook your head, forced a smile to the surface and told Joel that you were perfectly fine.

You were fine for a while, assuming you could just stay away from them and everything would be okay. If you didn’t have to talk to her, didn’t have to hear about her or anything that had anything to do with her, you’d be fine. You could handle the avoidance of eye contact with Nolan and you could push your feelings below the surface for the time being.

Unfortunately for you, she seemed to be just about the nicest person on the planet and felt the need to introduce herself to everyone in her general vicinity. You were walking back out of the house, your fingers wrapped around the neck of four different bottles before she popped up out of nowhere and offered you a bright smile.

“Hi! You’re y/n right?” you nodded gently, pushing a soft smile to the surface to humor her. “Thought so. Nolan’s told me a lot about you. I’m Mackayla.”

Aside from the fact that she was definitely the last person you wanted to be talking to right now, she was dangerously nice. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see the appeal. Her long blonde hair was beautiful, and you were sure by the way she was gently gripping onto her cup that she was gentle in all walks of life.

She was nicer than you’d wished she’d be. It’s as if you couldn’t find a flaw about her, other than the boy she chose to latch onto. It’d be easier if he was smiling all the same, if he was looking at her the way he used to look at you, even if nobody noticed. You’d be able to live with it if Nolan looked just as happy with her as he did with you, but he didn’t.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and his hands were always shoved into his pockets or running through his hair. His knuckles went white from his tight grip on his better bottle, and you just knew. You knew that the way he looked at her held little to no weight, not when compared to the way he’d look at you with your head on his chest or his in your lap. If you didn’t know what he looked like at 2 in the morning over a plate of waffles the two of you were sharing. If you hadn’t heard the laugh that bellowed out when you stared at him in disbelief for eating the last bite.

You wondered if she knew that he’d rather waste money on overpriced sushi than order a pizza, if she knew that rubbing his temples and scratching his scalp helped soothe his migraines. Did she know that he’d talk about the things bugging him if you just gave him space for a minute or so and let him collect his thoughts? Did she know that he kept a bottle of ibuprofen in his nightstand and one in the center console of his car?

You doubted she knew these things, because you knew Nolan was oblivious to you knowing these little things. He didn’t know you’d picked up on these small details about him because you didn’t voice them, you didn’t need to. You got his favorite coffee creamer without asking him what flavor he wanted, keeping it in your fridge at all times just in case. You made sure not to steal the black hoodie that always laid over the back of his couch, because you knew it was his favorite and if you had ever taken it he’d lose his mind.

You made sure that Nolan was taken care of, that you never acted out in a way that would negatively affect him. And as much as it hurt to stand in front of his new girl and act as if you didn’t know all of these things about him, you’d do it for him. You swallowed your pride and forced a smile so that nobody picked up on anything for Nolan’s sake.

You were doing an okay job with faking a smile and listening to Mackayla talk about the things she’d done with Nolan over the weekend. You’d learned she was from Georgia, though that much had been obvious from the southern drawl in her voice, and it only led you to wonder how she even met Nolan in the first place. Was she staying at his apartment while she was here? Did she sleep on your side of the bed and eat the granola bars that he always bought for you without a second of hesitation?

You were doing fine, until you noticed Nolan’s eyes glued to you. He was watching you, whether it was out of fear of you falling apart or stepping out of line in front of her, you weren't sure. Maybe he didn’t trust you with the girl he was trying to use to get over you, and maybe he was concerned for your well being, but you had a fairly good guess as to which one it would’ve ended up being.

So with the best excuse you could muster, you politely told Mackayla that you had to deliver the beers slotted between your fingers and ushered her back in Nolan’s direction. He tucked her under his arm just like he had when you first arrived and sent you one last careful glance before turning away from you both figurative and literally.

When you got back to Joel and dished out the beers you promised everyone, you pressed your own against your lips and downed half of the beer in one go before Joel forced you to stop.

“Woah! Try not to drink your weight tonight, yeah?” you rolled your eyes and fought back the groan that threatened to slip when Joel pulled your bottle away from you. “Breathe for a second.”

You tried to ignore Travis and Karly’s concerned looks, confusion setting in for both of them when you offered a smile in place of an explanation. They didn’t question it, knowing better than to dig too far into the reason for your actions. In an attempt to take the focus off of your odd behavior, Travis offered a change of conversation. Though it would’ve been better if he had chosen a topic that didn’t directly relate to your sour mood.

“So Mackayla’s pretty nice.” Karly hummed, eyes locking with yours for just a second. Her motive was innocent, simply offering a skepticism about a new girl being introduced into the mix, something the two of you usually had when any of the guys started dating someone new.

“She’s pretty.” you shrugged gently, attempting to offer an innocent enough addition to the conversation that wouldn’t force you to endure too much more of this conversation.

Joel gasped gently, eyes panning down to you while a smirk creeped up his lips and firmly planted itself on his face. “Do you have the hots for Patty’s girl?”

Your eyes blew wide and while the only thing running through your mind was how wrong Joel is, he mistook your shock for fear of being sniffed out so easily. It didn’t help that Joel had been your wingman on more than one occasion, always doing everything he could to snag you someone worthy of time.

“Bee-”

“You’re so into her!” you groaned at Travis bouncing in excitement, only calming down when his girlfriend dug her elbow into his ribs.

“I do not have a crush on Mackayla.”

“Who said anything about a crush?” Joel’s smile ignited a fire inside of your chest, an aggravation that had you clenching your jaw and rolling your eyes. He sucked his teeth and pressed a hand to his chest, a far off look settling in his expression. “My baby’s growing up.”

“Shut the fuck up, Farabee.”

Unfortunately, you were unable to convince Travis and Joel about your feelings towards the girl, or lack thereof. You couldn’t exactly tell them that you weren’t anything less than envious of her, that you kept looking in her direction because she seemed physically incapable of leaving Nolan’s side. You couldn’t tell them that you were truly looking at Nolan, that all you wanted to do was tell him that everything that’s happened was severely miscalculated on your part.

While Joel and Travis were painful at times, they were your best friends. They were attentive to your feelings more often than not, even if they miscalculated them here and there. Joel slipped you a few more drinks throughout the night and Travis made sure you never had an empty cup in your hand. Karly kept a close eye on you, worried about you quickly tipping over the edge if no one paid attention. She wasn’t convinced by the story of your crush on Mackayla, but she wasn’t sure what was truly bothering you so she did her best to make sure you stayed away from the ledge.

After two cups of the punch that Jake brought you were taking deep breaths in the bathroom, mustering up the courage to go back out and face the music. With every twinge of alcohol that infiltrated your system your shoulders slumped and you forgot about the pain that resonated in the back of your mind. It was easier to not look at Nolan every few seconds when you partially forgot that he was even there.

However, just as you opened the door to step back out into the house, the door was pushed wide open and Nolan stepped into the small space with you before shutting the door behind him. You were caught off guard, not having been this close to him since he walked out three months ago. It was almost nice, you almost let yourself slip a smile but then you were painfully aware of the way his forehead creased in frustration.

He saw your mind go over ninety different thoughts, your face showing off just about every emotion you were feeling when you felt it. It was hard for him to stand his ground, to not reach out to you and press a soft kiss against your forehead at the sight of you stressed out about something. But then he remembered why you were stressed, why he came up here in the first place. He remembered how you told him you couldn’t be with him, how you broke his heart.

“Why are you in here, Pat?” he flinched at the name, having not heard you call him that since before everything had unfolded between the two of you. You never called him by his last name, nor his hockey nicknames. Not after you’d been trapped between him and his mattress far more times than you could count.

“You talked to Mackayla earlier.” you hummed, rolling your eyes when you realized what was coming.

“So you saw me talking to your girlfriend earlier and now you’re wondering if I told her something she’s not supposed to know. If you’re wondering what we talked about then you can ask her, because I honestly couldn’t remember if my life depended on it. I stopped listening to her after she told me that you’ve told her a lot about me.” despite the way his eyes changed, darkening ever so slightly and pupils dilating, Nolan looked unphased by your confession.

“She’s not my girlfriend-”

“Then what is she? She’s clearly something since she’s here at your captain’s house. She’s visiting from Georgia for fuck’s sake, Pat-”

“So you did pay attention to her.” as fucked as it was, Nolan smirked at the realization that you still cared. Despite everything you told him, every time you said that you needed things to be a secret and that you couldn’t open up that part of you, he was elated to find out that you had a soft spot for him.

“Do you think it’s funny? You think it’s funny to watch me fall apart right in front of you? I’m trying so hard to keep myself together, and then you bring her here and wave her around in my face like you deserve an award for moving on.”

“I had no idea you were coming.” you wanted to laugh, wanted to scream at the top of your lungs that he had to be joking right now. But you didn’t, you held the laugh in the back of your throat and you opted for a vocal level that wouldn’t travel downstairs for everyone else to hear.

“That’s bullshit! I know you’re lying to me because Joel showed me a string of texts from your group chat of everyone saying that they were excited to see me. You know why he showed me that, Pat? Because I needed the motivation to peel myself off of my couch and start hanging out with my friends again. You know, i’m doing everything I can to hold it together but it’s really fucking hard when i can’t even be vocal about the fact that I don’t want to be around you right now.”

“Oh, don’t put that shit on me. You wanted to keep us a secret, so that means your heartbreak is a secret too. What do you want me to do about it? Help you through it? You want me to help you get over me? This is me trying to do that. I’m trying to move on, and you should be trying just as hard.” that almost hurt more than figuring out that he had deep rooted feelings for her. To know that she was your replacement, the one that was meant to help him get over you, that was much worse.

“But that’s the thing, Nolan! I don't want to get over you!”

“Well you have to! It’s too late to make up for all of the shit we’ve already been through. The damage is done, so you need to let me be happy without you.” your heart sank at the revelation, the look of defeat that sat on his face and told you that there was no going back. There was nothing you could do that was going to backtrack from this.

So you reached around him and grabbed the doorknob, twisting it as quickly as you could and slipping out of the bathroom just as quickly as Nolan had slipped in. You ran down the stairs fast enough to miss the sound of him slamming his fist into the countertop, the guttural groan that left him as he broke down in the room you left him in.

The good thing about the alcohol induced daze you were in was that your tears could’ve been due to anything. They could’ve been from someone taking your white claw away, and while you were sure you could find an excuse for crying, you knew that you wouldn’t need to when you saw Joel’s face.

“Can we go?” he nodded without a single question, promising you that it had been well over two hours since he had had a single sip of beer. He turned to Phil and told him to tell everyone they left but to leave out the part about you standing in front of them with wet cheeks and red eyes.

He didn’t ask you what was wrong, didn’t ask you to fess up to your crying fest in the car. He simply drove around the city until you had let out every tear and choked sob you could manage. He knew that part of it was spurred on by your blood alcohol level, surel exceeding the limit to drive, but he knew there was something you weren’t saying.

While not many people other than the people in Joel’s close vicinity had seen you crying just before your disappearance, a few did. And while nobody knew what it could have possibly been caused by, Karly watched Nolan descend down the stairs a few minutes after you had with an expression much different than the one he wore when he went upstairs. His cheeks were red and blown out, a dead give away for him being angry. It didn’t take her long to put the pieces together, to realize that you weren’t looking at Mackayla all night but rather the boy who had an arm draped around her shoulder.

You hoped that maybe you’d never have to see Mackayla after that, that she’d return to whatever town in Georgia she came from and stay there. Maybe even if she was around, you wouldn’t have to be around her. If Joel and Travis wanted to believe that it was from your attraction to her then so be it, just as long as you didn’t have to witness Nolan giving someone else the affection you craved from him.

But time passed and Mackayla stuck around. She stuck around for a few more months, visiting Nolan far more often than you would have cared for. She was around more than you wished she’d be. She was nice enough for everyone to like her, though it was kept at a surface level. Joel still picked your brain about your supposed crush on her, dropping hints in various conversations about it.

“So I was talking to Mack the other day-”

“Who the fuck is Mack?” it was a reflex, popping your head around the corner and shooting Joel a confused look across the room. He was leaning back on your couch, waiting for you to come back with the popcorn that was currently popping in the microwave.

“Mackayla…” Joel’s voice trailed off as he turned over his shoulder, his smirk all too irritating for you to not roll your eyes.

“What, the two of you are best friends now?” if Joel didn’t know you so well, he’d think you were jealous. He did, to an extent, think that you were jealous of him for being close to Mackayla, which was somewhat amusing for you.

“Chill, y/n/n. I’m not going to steal her away from you. She’s all yours, after she’s Patty’s.” it was meant to be playful, meant to bring a soft laugh out of you. Joel had no idea that he was just digging the dagger further into your heart, twisting it violently at the mention of Nolan and his girlfriend that seemed to be here to stay for much longer than you originally expected.

She showed up at games that you quickly regretted attending, wearing a jersey that you recognized all too well, having a few matching ones lining the back of your closet. You played nice though, letting her ask questions about you and answering them with the best answer you could offer at the time. You even went to grab drinks with her during the second intermission.

It was almost laughable, how oblivious she was. She was nice and in any other scenario where she wasn’t dating the boy you were hopelessly in love with, you probably would have liked her. There was nothing wrong with her other than her love interest, and the fact that she was oblivious to everything around her. You thought it was innocent at first, maybe even cute, but then she offered you a bright smile after you had calmed down from celebrating Joel’s second goal of the night and told you that the two of you would be a cute couple. Not only did it make you laugh, but the way she wiggled her eyebrows and told you that she could help you make that happen made you sigh in realization that she truly had no idea what mess she had walked into.

You hadn’t realized that Karly had caught onto your distaste for her until you announced that you had to run to the bathroom and Karly jumped up before Mackayla could even think about it and hooked her arms in yours. You sent her a puzzled look laced with a soft smile until she raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips in a way that told you exactly why she volunteered to go with you.

She let you break down in the bathroom, confessing that the mere sight of her made you nauseous. You told her about the history between you and Nolan, the way that you fell in love with him without even knowing it. You told her how you messed it up, how you did something that he couldn’t forgive you for and before you were able to tell her that you didn’t know how you would fix any of it, she told you that there was no way in hell that this was irreversible.

She’d seen the way you looked at him, the way he looked at you and the way he looked at her. In her mind, the choice was clear. Mackayla was no match for you, not even close. She didn’t bring any of the things to the table that you could, despite her being a good person. She wasn’t a bad person, but you were made for Nolan. Even Karly could figure that one out.

So you let her drag you to a bar with the team afterwards. You let her ring up a tab for the two of you and slip you drinks throughout the night without thinking much of it. Sure, Mackayla and Nolan weren’t very far away, but you knew you wouldn’t have to watch them do much more than things you’d already seen. You knew they wouldn’t dance, since Nolan would’ve preferred to drink everything behind the bar than dance in public.

It made you think about the times he danced with you in the kitchen at 3 am when soft music was pouring out of his phone and encapsulating the two of you in your own bubble. Neither of you were ever fully dressed, wearing things that you picked up off of the floor before cooking an entire meal in the middle of the night. Those nights were your favorite, when he did things that only you had the pleasure of experiencing.

It made a familiar feeling stir in your stomach, one that had you pressing the back of your hand to your mouth as you rushed towards the bathroom, passing the line that formed against one of the walls. Karly apologized to everyone who you had unintentionally skipped, though they all waved her off and claimed that you clearly needed it more than they did.

You were relieved when you got inside, able to breathe while also getting the nausea out of your system. Karly stood guard, only opening the door to yell at someone that had been knocking for the past three minutes.

“It’s fucking occupied- Patty?”

“Move.” you coughed at the sound of his voice, your throat constricting in a way that was involuntary. “Karly, seriously-”

“Nolan that’s not a good idea-”

“I can get her to stop.” Karly’s words paused in her throat, uncertainty flowing through her but when she heard you dry heave for the third time, she stepped aside and let Nolan come inside.

He gently pulled your hair out of your hands and grabbed the hair tie around your wrist, throwing your hair into the quickest ponytail he could in order to get it out of your face. His hands fell to your sides, slipping under your shirt without much effort at all and providing your skin with a newfound warmth.

He’d done this before, that much was obvious to Karly with the way you easily melted into his touch. He wasn’t doing much more than Karly could do but she knew that it was the feeling of his hands that grounded you, rather than physical touch in the general sense. If it wasn’t Nolan it wouldn’t have worked, and that gave Karly everything she needed to know about how you felt about her boyfriend’s best friend.

“You’re okay.” he whispered softly, letting you fall back against his chest and curl up into a ball on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom. He rocked you gently, almost unintentionally, while he kissed the back of your head gently. “You’re okay.” he repeated, feeling you relax into his hold afterwards.

Karly was stunned to say the least. She had never seen you react like that to anybody, let alone when they were that close to you. She was used to seeing you shove Joel or Travis away from you when they tried to baby you, claiming that you could hold your own and didn’t need them to help you through things. But here you were, melting into Nolan’s hold without a second thought.

“Thank you.” you whispered gently, despite the fact that Nolan was inherently the reason you were in this position. He didn’t know that, assuming your physical reaction to be from the alcohol you had consumed.

“I’m going to go get you some water.” Karly whispered softly before slipping out of the room, but not leaving until she threatened anyone else that tried to usher you out of the bathroom.

“You didn’t have to do that you know?” it was soft and broke through a thick silence after Karly had left, but it was enough for Nolan.

“I know I didn’t, but I care about you and I know that Karly’s clueless when it comes to things like that.” you laughed, one that came out more bitter than you had originally intended it to. Nolan’s ears perked up, his face twisting in confusion. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just holding me in a bathroom right now while your girlfriend is waiting for you to return.” Nolan groaned, annoyed that you had to ruin a good moment by mentioning Mackayla. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he wished that just once he could have a conversation without you mentioning her.

“Alright well if you want me to leave, I can.” he stood up, brushing off his jeans and turning towards the door before you were on your feet and pulling away from it.

“Do you love her?” his brow furrowed, confusion written into his features as he tried to figure out why you would ask him such a thing. His silence gave you hope, made you believe that there was a possibility that maybe he didn’t love her.

“Why would you-”

“Do you still love me?” it hit him like a thousand bricks, like he had walked straight into a wall and knocked himself out. He’d never told you that he loved you, despite the fact that he definitely did. You had never told each other that you felt that way, though now you think maybe that would have changed things between the two of you. “I only ask because-”

“Just, don’t. Don’t this to me, y/n. I can’t handle this again.” you wondered if the sound you heard was his heart cracking, breaking in his chest at a simple question. You wondered if you had messed things up by being too scared, by living in fear rather than taking things that you wanted.

“I love you.” you felt your shoulders fall, shedding themselves of the weight they held onto for so long. “I love you so much it hurts, and everyone thinks it’s just because I’m in love with your girlfriend. They think that when i’m looking at you, i’m looking at her and while it’s a great coverup for the real issue at hand, it’s almost worse. Because in a way, I guess I am. I want to be her, I want to be in her place. I want to kiss her because at least I'll get to taste your lips again. At least if I listen to her go on and on about her weekend plans then I can keep up with your life from someone other than Tk.”

It was a lot, a lot of things you’d wanted to say for longer than you could recount, but now it was too much. It was too much to dump on Nolan in a bar bathroom where you had just previously been throwing up. It wasn’t ideal, and it was probably disgusting, but you need to get it out now. Now or never, right here in the bathroom where Nolan’s girlfriend stood not too far outside of it.

“Y/n-”

“Just tell me you love me. Tell me i’m not crazy because I think you look at me the way you should be looking at her. I think that whatever you have with her is probably great, but it’s nothing like what we had. She’s not me, Nolan. I know she’s not.”

“That’s the problem! She’s not you, and that’s good for me. She’s good for me. She doesn’t hide me, doesn’t shove me into her room when her best friend comes knocking on the door. She doesn’t hide my jerseys in the back of her closet or stay ten feet away from me in public. She’s not you, but that’s not an accident.” your heart sank, not only at the words ringing in your ears but the steam pouring out of his ears. The way that he was looking at you, like you’d ruined him, made your stomach twist. It was awful, to have him stand in front of you and not understand that all you wanted was him.

“Nolan please-”

“Please what, y/n? Haven’t we already had this conversation? You want me to help you but I'm telling you I can’t do that. I can’t keep running into bathrooms when you’re throwing up and I can’t hold your hand when your anxiety bubbles up and you can’t be around people anymore. I can’t do this for you anymore y/n. Yes, I love you. I love you but it hurts in a way that love should not hurt. I shouldn’t wake up every morning feeling like i’ve lost a part of me that i’ll never get back. I should be able to have a girlfriend without worrying about what my ex thinks, how she feels about me. I shouldn’t have to worry about your feelings anymore because you didn’t worry about mine when I was begging you to stop making me sneak around with you.”

“I didn’t mean for-”

“I don’t care anymore, honestly. I don’t care what you meant to do. All I'm asking you to do is to leave me alone and let me move on with my life. You had your chance, you had me right in front of you, telling you that you were the one for me, you were it, and you threw it away. You broke my heart and kicked me to the curb because you didn’t care what I wanted. So now i’m telling you that I don’t care what you want. I want you to stay away from me.”

The image of him walking out of the bathroom felt a lot like the night he walked out of your apartment. The way he slammed the door in your face, leaving you behind with wet cheeks and an ache in your chest that made it hard to breathe. It wasn’t any different from last time, but you were determined to change it from here on out.

You walked out of the bathroom after splashing water on your face, walking straight up to the bar and ordering three shots of tequila. Three shots that Karly watched him place in front of you from her place across the room as panic coursed through her. She shoved Travis to the side and did her best to reach you in time, dragging Joel along with her but it was too late. You had already tipped back two of the shots by the time they got there, and just as they slammed into the side of the bar, you lifted your third in a mock cheer before downing it.

“Let’s go have some fun, yeah?” you grabbed Karly’s hands and pulled her to the middle of the room to dance with you.

Karly wasn’t sure if she should be careful around you, if you had things that you wanted to air out or if you wanted to bury everything. She wasn’t sure exactly what happened with you and Nolan, and she wasn’t entirely sure how she was supposed to help you. So she let you drink. She made sure that Joel would be ready to take you home when you needed to go, and she let you do almost anything in between.

Joel was the one that cut you off, paying for your tab and pulling you away from a guy you were trying to hustle drinks from in favor of taking you home. He labeled you as gone enough to go home and when he was met with a drunken smile, he knew he made the right decision.

He kept an arm around you when you said goodbye to everyone, and pretended not to notice the way you skipped right over Nolan on your way out. Karly made him promise to call her as soon as he had gotten you home. He let you lean against him on the walk to his car and made sure all of your limbs were safely placed inside before shutting the door.

“You have a good night?” Joel asked about a minute or so into the drive, watching you gaze longingly out of your window. You nodded gently, which was slightly off putting but somehow enough for Joel to stop pushing it.

“She’s so pretty.” Joel’s ears perked up, attention shifting over to you at the sound of your voice. “Great smile, big blue eyes that you can’t help but stare out. Her accent can get annoying but it’s cute in a weird way.”

Joel laughed gently, thinking that your rambling was a drunk confession that his skepticism had been correct, that he had sniffed you out easier than you had expected him to. But then you spoke again, and it took everything in him not to slam on the brakes in the middle of the street.

“Maybe if I had her long blonde hair or her magic touch, he’d want me just as much.” he felt his heart sink into his stomach, realization dawned on him more and more as time progressed.

All this time, he’d been teasing you about the stupid crush he thought you had on Nolan’s girlfriend. He thought the glances and the heavy sighs were directed towards the blonde girl when in all reality, they were directed at his teammate. It made sense, how you and Nolan seemed to start acting strange around the same time. He wouldn’t hear from either of you for hours at a time, when nobody knew where either of you were.

It made sense why you stopped coming to games, why you stopped accepting invitations to go out with everyone. He realized now, that he’d made a big mistake. By thinking that you had a thing for Mackayla, every mere mention of the girl must have brought a sick feeling to your stomach. He mentioned her and Nolan all the time, and had unintentionally hurt you in the process.

“Do you think he would?” you turned toward Joel, hand falling onto his arm while your eyes blurred with a thin layer of tears. He looked down at you, so fragile and small in his passenger seat, and softened. He couldn’t help but think he helped put you in this position, but he could make sure he never did it again.

“I think he’d be an idiot not to love you just the way you are.” you rolled your eyes but the smile that stretched across your lips was enough for him. You shoved him playfully, letting a laugh pass your lips afterwards.

Something twisted in his stomach, seeing you laugh beside him in his passenger seat. You looked beautiful despite the drunken haze and the way your eyes could hardly stay open. It wasn’t the first time Joel had seen you like this but he hoped it wouldn’t be his last either.

“Careful, Beezer. You’re going to get my hopes up.” his heart sank again, the smile slowly fading from your lips before you slipped into a light sleep. He was furious that anybody would hurt you like this, let alone someone that he was so close to. He didn’t know how he didn’t sniff this out sooner, but he was determined to never let it go unnoticed again.

Joel kept a close eye on you then. He made sure not to invite you to things when Mackayla was already set to attend. He kept conversation topics about Nolan in the ‘do not mention’ box, only mentioning him if he was a vital part to the story he was telling. Joel went through your closet and replaced every single Patrick jersey with a Farabee one, claiming that you can’t keep showing up to the games with a simple flyers hoodie that was practically on its last leg.

You noticed the small changes, noticed that Joel was doing his best to keep you out of harm's way. You assumed he must have told Travis enough for him to stop mentioning your alleged crush on Mackayla. One thing you were sure of was the fact that you wouldn’t have made it this far without Joel. He showed up with takeout when he knew you’d gone all day without eating, and put on your favorite movie without asking.

Essentially, he was himself, dialed up to eleven. He made sure you never had to go anywhere by yourself if you didn’t want to. It was clear that Mackayla wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and you were far too close with the rest of the team to let Nolan indirectly stop you from having fun with your friends.

You went into the night thinking that it would be a good stepping stone for you to accept the fact that Mackayla would be around more often whether you liked it or not. You got ready with Karly, pulling on the tight leotard and the bunny ears that matched. It was a ridiculous outfit, but it was worth it when Joel walked into your apartment with his arms outstretched beside him and a pipe hanging from his lips loosely.

“Where’s my bunny?” you wiped a stray tear from your waterline, your laughter tumbling further into an uncontrollable fit. You knew these costumes would be ridiculous but seeing Joel in a velvet robe and a sailor’s hat was far more comical than you originally expected.

“Hi Hughie.” you kissed his cheek gently, heating up the patch of skin unintentionally. You didn’t notice the way his eyes lingered on the skin of your exposed thighs, nor did you see the way his eyes followed you when you turned around, back facing him.

“You ready?” you nodded gently and told Travis he did a good job, despite the fact that his and Karly’s prisoner costumes were just orange jumpsuits.

Karly brought her lips close to your ear when Nolan and Mackayla arrived, making a passive comment about how you and Joel looked ten times better than that. It made you think about last halloween, where you ended up leaving Claude’s with Nolan, only to wake up the next morning with a trail of marks down your neck and a mess of makeup you had forgotten to take off before falling asleep.

You shook the thought out of your head, deciding that it wasn’t worth it. You were thankful that Joel stayed close to you all night, eliminating the possibility of you ever being locked in a room with just Nolan and/or Mackayla. He didn’t stop you from tossing back one too many white claws and kept guard in front of the door when you used the bathroom.

He didn’t stop you from standing on a table beside Tk, elbows hooked together while you raced to down your can faster than him. He hip checked Karly when she tried to distract you to give her boyfriend the win, and he grabbed onto both of your thighs when you wobbled on the slightly unsteady surface.

Your hands fell to grab onto his shoulders in an attempt to steady yourself, thankful for the way he had no intention to let you fall. He smiled up at you with a smile that said he knew you were just past the point of being able to keep your balance. You’d lost count of how many white claws you’d been handed throughout the night, but the close eye he kept on you told him how much more you’d be able to handle before the night was over.

Joel wrapped his arms around your legs and lifted you off of the tabletop, only loosening them enough for you to slide down to stand on your feet. When your feet hit the floor, you were painfully aware of how close you were to Joel, feeling his breath fan over your face and struggling to keep your eyes locked on his.

In all the time you’ve known Joel, you’ve never felt the fuzzy feeling that was currently residing in your chest. You’d never thought about your relationship all that much. The two of you spent time together because it felt natural, it was easy to fall into a routine with him without even realizing it. In another world, you’d let Joel break down your walls. You’d probably help him, hammering them down all on your own if it meant that he looked at you like that for the rest of your life.

But this wasn’t a perfect world, and you couldn’t do that. No matter how much you tried to soak in the way that Joel was looking at you, the way he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes off of you or pry his hands off of your sides, you were reminded of the fact that he wasn’t Nolan.

You cleared your throat, eyebrows furrowing for just a second before you started tripping over your words. “I, uh-”

“Beezer!” Joel’s hands fell back to his side, eyes snapping up to follow the sound of his name only to find Morgan and Phil beckoning him over in their direction.

“I should uh-”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, go. Don't fall off any tables.” he laughed gently and pressed a soft kiss to your temple before walking past you, leaving you with a burning feeling in both of your hips and now the spot of your temple that was still warm from his lips.

You quickly shook it off by the time that Karly popped up beside you with an unopened white claw, swinging it in front of your face and smiling brightly when you snatched it out of her hold. Unbeknownst to you but not flying under Karly’s radar, was the boy with bright blue eyes and shoulder length hair that had been watching you longer than he should have been.

Karly sent him a firm glare while your back was to him, silently testing him while also warning him. He rolled his eyes, unsure of when she had figured things out or what she had heard. He was sure you told a skewed version of the truth, surely roping Karly into believing Nolan was the spawn of satan. In all actuality, Karly didn’t think that. She thought that the things you told her about Nolan were great, and she knew you deserve someone like that. She did, however, know that you were also hurt by the things that Nolan had been doing and saying recently, and she’ll be damned if she lets him hurt you again.

So she kept an eye on Nolan all night, she made sure that he kept his distance from you while also trying to figure out what was going on between you and Joel. You leaned just a little further into him than you normally would and he seemed to always have a hold on you, whether it be his hands on your hips or an arm thrown over your shoulders.

The first time she could ask about it was when the two of you were dancing, not the only ones in the room but you were surely the only one that could hear her over the music. She wrapped her arms around your neck and brought her lips close to your ear to help drown out the sound to everyone else while also trying to eliminate the possibility of raising suspicion.

“So you and Beezer?” you smiled fondly, not even realizing that a toothy grin spread across your lips at the sound of Joel’s name.

“He’s just my best friend, K.” she rolled her eyes, unconvinced that’s all it was. She casted her eyes over your shoulder, catching the eyes of none other than the boy dressed as Hugh Hefner.

“I’d say the way he’s looking at you right now is not how I look at my friends. It is, however, the way I look at my boyfriend after being teased all night long.” you turned over your shoulder, catching Joel’s eyes with your own. He pushed a smile forward, one that eventually turned into a short laugh before he looked back at Morgan who was talking about something he had lost track of a while ago.

“We’re just friends.” Karly hummed, unconvinced but dropping the subject nonetheless.

If you weren’t thinking about it beforehand, now it would have been impossible to stop thinking about Joel. maybe it was the fact that you could still feel his hands on your hips, or the fact that almost every time you looked at him he was already looking at you. It felt impossible to stop thinking about him, to turn your mind off and stop thinking. It sucked, the dull ache finding its way back to your chest because no matter how much you were thinking of Joel, you couldn’t stop subconsciously looking for Nolan.

The way he didn’t have his arm slung around Mackayla’s shoulders like always brought a whisper of a smile to your face. She was talking to Jake about something that he looked amused over, whether it was the topic of their conversation or her hand gestures that amused him you weren’t sure of. He was hardly looking at her, opting to stare into his cup or up at Travis when he nudged him hard enough to grab his attention.

But then he looked up at you, holding eye contact with you for longer than either of you should have. His knuckles were white, his cheeks tinted red in a way that made you dizzy. You remembered a time when you’d smile at the sight of them, run your fingers over them and probably kiss them softly. Nolan would tell you to leave them alone, to ignore that they were even there but he didn’t mind when they made you smile like that.

It took you back to a time where you could cock your head to the side and ask him to meet you in the bathroom. There’d be rushed kisses and whispered affirmations, words that nobody outside of the two of you were ever going to hear but it didn’t matter because Nolan was the one saying it all to you.

But you couldn’t do that now. You couldn’t meet him upstairs or back at your apartment afterwards. He’d be going home with his girlfriend and you’d be going home alone. It was the harsh fact that you had been trying to accept for months at this point, but it didn’t hurt any less than it did the first time you saw Mackayla and realized that no matter how much you wanted to hate her, you couldn’t.

You took a deep breath and broke eye contact, opting to turn your focus to downing the rest of your drink before walking into the kitchen to grab another. You’d love to say that you were surprised when you heard the door open after you had shut it, but you weren’t. In fact, you’d be surprised if it hadn’t opened.

“Is there something going on with you and Beezer?” you fought back a laugh that sat in the back of your throat. Of course that’s what he cared about. Of course, even after all this time, he was still worried about what you were doing and who you were doing it with.

“Would there be a problem if there was?” you turned over your shoulder, not missing the way he had to peel his eyes off of your backside. Though, you couldn’t blame him for it. You look good in the black leotard and you were sure it wasn’t the first time tonight that he looked at you like that.

“So there is?” you rolled your eyes and turned back to your drink that was practically finished. You took a deep breath and exhaled through your nose, bringing the cup to your lips to take a large gulp of it before you turned back around and made a break for the exit.

“No, Nolan. There’s nothing going on between Joel and I but it’s not exactly your place to grill me if there was.” you went to give him a firm pat on the shoulder but he gripped your wrist lightly, turning you just enough so he could look at you properly.

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” the look of confusion mixed with hurt that took over your face filled him with regret. You had never done anything that should have given him the notion that you’d ever lie to him, but he felt the need to ask regardless. Now that he had, he had his answer and he wished he had just kept it to himself.

“Things would be a lot easier between us if I was able to lie to you.” despite the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, there wasn’t enough time for you to explain your words to him before you were walking past him and out of the kitchen.

The alcohol swimming through your system had your eyes burning before the door had even shut behind you and while Nolan didn’t follow you out right after, that didn’t stop Joel from grabbing your hand and tugging you away from the room.

“I was just about to go in. I saw him follow you in there, are you okay?” he could tell you were in a bit of a daze. It was evident in the way your eyes didn’t meet his right away, the way that your breathing was slightly irregular and the way that when you looked up at him, he could tell you were still out of it.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah i’m okay.” he nodded slowly despite the fact that he wasn’t entirely convinced and agreed to dance with you when one of your favorite songs came on.

It felt like the night was never ending at this point. You’re not sure what time it was or how many white claws you had downed, but that was obvious by the way you were stumbling around the Giroux house. Joel hardly trusted you to go to the bathroom by yourself with the way you were stumbling everywhere.

He was persistent in walking behind you up the stairs, holding out his hands to stop you from falling backwards. He wasn’t much more sober than you were, but he was clearly handling it a lot better than you were. You tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest when he said he was going to wait outside for you, but then he offered to sit on the edge of the tub and while it was far from the thing you should have done, you were certain that you would mess up somewhere if you did it all on your own.

One thing you had forgotten about was the outfit you were wearing, and the fact that you practically had to strip in order to use the bathroom. So, with a low groan and a drunken laugh, you told Joel he had to stand in the shower while you peed, curtain closed and all. He did though, stand in the shower and stare at the tiled walls while he asked you if you were having a good night, all things considered.

When he heard the sink turn on and your voice telling him he could come back out, the shower curtain slid to the side and he stepped back out, a smile gracing his lips when he locked eyes with you in the mirror. He bumped your hip with his gently and gasped when you splashed water at him from the faucet, splashing you back without any hesitation.

“Oh that was a grave mistake, Farabee.” his eyebrows shot up, a silent questioning sitting on the tip of his tongue before he repeated his actions.

Somewhere along teasing comments and a few more splashes, the laughter dulled down and the faucet was turned off. Joel’s eyes were trained on you though, the alcohol in his system lowering his subtlety in the way he raked your body up and down. It wasn’t subtle and it sent a chill down your spine, the fact that he was openly checking you out unapologetically.

He leaned closer, or maybe you leaned closer, it was unclear who made which move first and who was just simply following suit but within mere seconds, your lips were pressed against Joel’s. His hands found the back of your thighs with ease and lifted you up onto the countertop, giving him the ability to press his lips further into yours.

You got caught up in the heat of the moment. The way his lips felt against yours felt so familiar, like you had kissed him in another life. It felt easy and natural, and right. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced, even holding his head in yours while you kissed him back just as feverishly.

You were in a daze until he pulled his lips back from yours and pressed them against the skin of your neck, making a path of his own on the way down to the spot of your neck that met your shoulder. Maybe it was the fact that he settled in an all too familiar spot of your neck, or the way that his hands couldn’t seem to hold enough of you, but you ripped out of the moment. Everything around you started coming back, reminding you of what you were doing in the bathroom of a Halloween party where all of your friends were just downstairs.

“Joel.” you whispered softly, trying to get a firm grip on reality rather than allowing yourself to get lost in the boy that was still nipping and sucking at your skin.

“Yeah baby?” the rasp in his voice sent a shockwave through your body, making your head fall back ever so slightly at the same time a low whine passed your lips.

“We can’t do this.”

“Why’s that?” he switched sides, grabbing the underside of your jaw and turning your head enough to give him access to the other side of your neck.

“Because we can’t Joel. you’re my best friend-”

“Oh bullshit.” he pulled back then, pupils blown out and lips slightly swollen. Red tinted his cheeks and the soft pants rolling past his lips mimicked the way his mind was racing. “Haven’t you heard anyone say that falling in love with your best friend is the best decision you can make?” your heart fell into your stomach, your shoulders slumping at the sound of his question.

Falling in love? You didn’t think Joel was anywhere near in love with you. You’d guess maybe a crush or some surface level feelings but full blown love? There was something holding you back, not allowing you to get to that point with anyone after what you’d been through. You couldn’t just forget about all of it as if it hadn’t happened, as if it didn’t still affect you.

“Say something.” the desperation in his voice killed you, somehow breaking your heart even further. The way his lust clouded vision turned to one of pleading tugged at your heartstrings in a way that had you speaking before you could even think about it.

“I still love him, Bee.” Joel’s head fell then, his hands moving to grip the edge of the counter on either side of you as he tried to catch his breath. “Joel-”

“Don’t bother. I get it. It’s always going to be Patty, right?” he looked up at you, hoping that you’d rush to tell him that’s not what you meant, but that never came.

Instead you bit your lower lip, chewing the anxiety away as you tried to find the words to describe the situation. By the time you could think of anything worth saying, Joel was already turning the knob and slamming the door shut behind him. The sound made you jump just before you leaned back against the mirror, trying to rid yourself of the mess you just made for yourself.

Joel rushed down the stairs in search of something to drink, anything that would save him from his mind. He couldn’t stop replaying it over in his head, the way your hands felt on the sides of his face or locked in his hair. The way your lips felt against his or the way you reacted to his touch. He couldn’t get the sight of your blown out pupils and swollen lips, two things he had caused, out of his head. He couldn’t get you out of his head.

When he found Phil and Morgan passing a flask back and forth, he held his out for it and downed about half of it before Phil tried to swat it away from his lips, noticing something severely wrong with Joel. None of them noticed you jog down the stairs and bolt out back, in search of fresh air and a space where there weren’t many people around.

“You alright Beezer?” Phil asked just before tipping the flask enough to take a swig from it.

“Other than the fact that I may have just fucked everything up, I’m fine.” Morgan realized what he meant first, given that he’d heard Joel talk about you more often than anyone else on the team. Morgan was the one he went to when he couldn’t go to you, this being one of their main conversation topics.

“What did you do?” Joel’s eyes lingered on Morgan for a bit and when he pushed out a heavy sigh to procrastinate the words he was about to say, he only allowed the time for Nolan to walk past him just in time to hear everything he was going to say.

“I think I almost slept with y/n.” Nolan came to a screeching halt behind him, eyes snapping to meet Phil’s who was completely clueless to the tension currently building up.

“You what?” Joel’s neck practically snapped with how quickly he turned over his shoulder, coming face to face with the broody boy who was seething right in front of him.

“Nothing. I uh, that came out wrong.” Nolan didn’t believe him though. With the way Joel was stumbling over his words and avoiding eye contact, Nolan knew there was something worth digging into.

Nolan walked away from the three of them, eyes scanning the room, no doubt in search of you. His fists were clenched and his focus was completely thrown off. He had forgotten about everything else going on around him, everyone else that stood inside of the house.

He saw you through the sliding glass door, a smile sitting on your face that he knew held no weight to it. He knew that whatever Jake was telling you was probably funny, but he knew there were other things on your mind. Both because he knew you well enough to know when something was on your mind but also because he had just heard Joel say that there was something for you to be thinking about.

He yanked the back door open, not caring for a single second if it slammed open or shut, or if it even shut at all behind him. He didn’t care if he was attracting attention to himself or if he was about to accidentally air out a bunch of dirty laundry for not only himself, but you and Joel as well.

“So you’re a liar now?” your head turned at the loud voice calling out to you from the opposite side of the yard, worry and fear intertwining in the back of your mind.

“What are you talking about?” Jake and Claude had forgotten what their conversation was even about by the time Nolan was halfway across the yard, anger clearly written into his expression.

“You fucked Beezer?” your eyes blew wide open, along with the two men at your side that were rudely interrupted by a false accusation.

“No! What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about whatever happened between you and Beezer that you told me was surely not happening.” you rolled your eyes now, more annoyed with the fact that he was digging this deep into something he had no business knowing about rather than the fact that he was yelling at you in front of your families.

“Why do you even care, Nolan?”

“He’s my teammate! How am i supposed to play on a line with him when i know he’s-”

“He’s what?” you stood up now, standing face to face with the boy who was clearly causing a scene. Even the people still standing inside were watching through the door that still hadn’t shut from Nolan’s dramatic exit/entrance.

“He’s touched you!”

“It was just a kiss for fuck’s sake!” Joel wouldn’t admit that his heart sank at the comment. What was ‘just a kiss’ to you was much more to him. It was everything he’d wanted to for as long as he could remember, but he’d keep that to himself too.

“It’s the principle!” his words irritated you. He was irritating you. You’re not sure how it was his business to know, let alone who gave him the right to be mad about it.

“You’re not my boyfriend, Nolan!” he clenched his fists at the fact. He knew that, he was painfully aware of that. All it did was remind him that the girl he wanted more than anything wouldn’t meet him halfway.

“Well that doesn’t mean he can be!”

“And why the hell not?”

“Because i’m still in love with you!” it was bad timing, truly. In theory, someone probably should have stopped her from stepping outside while the two of you were fighting, but nobody did. Nobody stopped Mackayla from hearing everything that Nolan said, everything that he had denied to her for as long as they’d been together, and they didn’t stop her from walking out into the backyard just as her boyfriend was confessing his love for another girl.

You deflated at the sight of her, shoulders slumping when you realized that you were responsible for two people’s heart breaks tonight. Three if you counted Nolan, but you didn’t. He’d been like this for a long time it seemed and while you wanted to fix that, one thing Nolan was right about was the fact that there was too much damage between the two of you to backtrack now.

“You’re in love with her?” Nolan’s eyes fluttered shut at the sound of her voice, mind racing over all the ways he messed up in the past that led to this moment. His girlfriend of x amount of months was now standing behind him, her heart in her stomach and her cheeks wet as she witnessed her boyfriend confess that he was in love with the girl she’d been worried about for the entirety of their relationship.

“Mack.” he whispered gently, turning around to face the girl who had already given up on him. There was no way he could fix this. He had told her too many times to count that nothing had ever happened between you and him. He promised her that you weren’t somebody she needed to worry about, but he told everyone that it seemed. “Mack I didn’t mean to-”

She turned and ran back into the house before Nolan could even finish his thought. While he wanted to turn around and drill into you for fucking up another thing for him, he knew it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything you weren’t allowed to do and he made a mess for himself. He didn’t walk into a mess you built, didn’t try to fix someone who didn’t need fixing, but he did break two girls who deserved the world.

“Good job.” you mumbled to yourself, bumping his arm with your shoulder when you walked past him and tried to follow Mackayla when he made no effort to.

“Y/n-” you spun at the sound of your name, angry tears building up in your eyes at the look on his face, a look that made you feel guilty for something you were more than allowed to do.

“No! You don’t get to berate me. You don’t get to belittle me or tell me that I made a mistake. I’m allowed to do whatever the fuck I want to. You left me, remember? You left me and you told me that I needed to let you be happy. I tried, Nolan. I tried so hard to let you be happy and now you’re screaming at me in front of everybody because of what? Because I might be starting to be happy without you? You don’t get to be angry at me for finding a way to fix myself. Just leave me alone.” by the time you passed by everyone who was looking at the floor rather than up at you, you knew that you should leave anyways.

With your phone in one hand and your shoes in the other, you ran outside and sighed at the relief you felt when you found Mackayla sitting on the curb.

“Mackayla!” you ran down the driveway towards her, wincing at the sight of her glaring harshly at you. “Mackayla I’m so sorry.”

She wiped her cheeks and nose and let out a heavy sigh. In reality, she couldn’t be mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong in her mind and you surely weren’t the one that lied to her. Sure, it wasn’t her first choice to hang out with the girl that inherently stole her boyfriend from her, but she also figured that she had stolen your boyfriend in a way so she guessed that made the two of you even.

“He sucks.” you laughed gently and sat beside her, opening your phone while you plopped down on the curb beside her.

“He does.” you paused for a moment before smiling over at her. “You’re staying with him, aren’t you?” she nodded slowly, realizing that she didn’t have anywhere to go or any of her things. “Well I'm about to order an uber if you want to crash at my place for the night. I’ll answer any questions you want and I’ll help you get your shit from his place in the morning.”

She hesitated, clearly not ready to accept your offer with a wide smile and an open mind. She hardly knew you, and she wasn’t ready to forget about all of the things she was beginning to realize about you and Nolan’s relationship.

But she agreed, because she truly had nowhere else to go. She sat at your dining room table with you in a pair of your sweatpants and a shirt you had promised her was not Nolan’s. She drank your coffee out of one of your mugs and asked you every question that had plagued her over the course of her relationship with Nolan. Not all of them were about you, not even all of them were about Nolan, but you answered them all regardless.

You helped her get her things in the morning from Nolan’s and drove her to the airport when she was able to rebook her flight back home. You apologized ten more times and she waved off every one of them by telling you that you didn’t do anything wrong other than be the love of Nolan’s life, which wasn’t your fault entirely.

Karly was there to help pick up the pieces the best that she could, though it was hard with her not always being in Philly. She tried to fill the space in your life that Joel left when he stopped coming around for movie nights and take out dinners. You fully stopped going to Flyers games, finding no use in showing up to them anymore.

Every call you made was sent to voicemail, every text left unread. You were being shut out, and you couldn’t do anything about it. Travis tried to assure you it wasn’t your fault, you just didn’t notice your best friend falling in love with you because you were trying to fall out of love with his teammate. He told you to just give Joel time, but you were stuck believing that ‘time’ may never have an ending.

So you threw yourself into your work. You submitted projects before their due dates and received positive feedback on just about every portion of them. It was a healthy coping mechanism, a way to shift your focus onto something productive. You did such a good job, in fact, that your boss called you into his office after a few months.

It was nerve wracking, to be called into your boss’s office with no clues as to why. It was even more nerve wracking after you had left and your hands were slightly shaking. The weight put onto your shoulders was unlike any you’d ever experienced, plagues with a decision to make all on your own. It wasn’t a decision you wanted, not one you had even been close to looking for, but it’s one that you got.

It’s one that lingered in the back of your mind for weeks afterwards, still never reaching a decision. The flexible timeline gave you all the time in the world to decide, and your boss wasn’t pushing you in either direction, though you slightly wished he would have.

But then you told Karly about said decision, and the way you watched her face fall told you that she knew what your decision would be. In all actuality, you knew what your decision was. If you were going to say no, you would have by now. You would have denied the offer and stuck with your current life, boring or not.

You were practically tackled the second you stepped foot in Travis’s apartment, his arms thrown around you as he leaned into you just enough to throw off your balance. Phil followed close behind, wrapping you up in his arms and telling you that you weren’t allowed to disappear for that long ever again. Karly’s sideways glance in your direction went unseen to everyone but you, mostly because you silently told her to drop it, given that now was not the time to be talking about this.

But then you felt your heart sink further into your chest with every passing second. It was nice to be around all the people that made Philly feel like home to you, but it made your decision harder. Not because you had to choose which side you were on anymore, but because it made your choice that much harder to accept.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard if Joel wasn’t going out of his way to ignore you. The way he ducked out of your way any time he got close to you, or the way he purposefully stood on the opposite side of the room when the only open seat was beside you. You noticed the way he steered clear of you and while you wanted to be upset that you didn’t have your best friend to make these things easier for you, you knew that Joel was doing this for his own good, not to hurt you.

So you found yourself on Travis’s balcony with Karly, your head leaning on her shoulder while you swung a bottle back and forth between your fingers. The sound of the door opening behind you made you turn over your shoulder, eyes locking with the same pair of blue eyes that you knew you’d have to face at some point.

“I’ll let you two talk.” Karly whispered gently before standing up and ducking back inside.

Nolan closed the door this time, making it a habit in everything he did nowadays. He sat beside you, his knee knocking into yours gently. He didn’t know what to say to you, didn’t know how to apologize for all of the things he had put you through. The two of you had something beautiful once, you’re not sure when it turned itself upside down but it didn’t matter anymore. Not when things were about to change so drastically. Maybe not for him, but definitely for you.

“I’m shocked your lap dog’s not out here.” you rolled your eyes, finding it ridiculous that you thought he would start this conversation on a positive note.

“Why don’t you sit there and i’ll sit here and we can keep to ourselves until one of us wants to go back inside.” he sighed, like he regretted starting off on the wrong foot.

“We can’t even try to be nice to each other?” you turned to him then, giving him a look he hadn’t seen in a long time. It reminded him of times where you’d let the stress from school and work pile up, when you looked at him with an exhaustion that he couldn’t help. It was how you looked right before you stress cried, right before you’d normally turn into his chest and unload everything you’d been holding on to for far too long.

“I’ve tried being nice to you. I’ve tried letting you live your life but the second I started doing that, you stopped letting me live mine. I think you only want me to be happy if you’re the one that’s making me happy and that’s fucked. I lost my best friend over it. I lost the love of my life. It feels like I'm losing everything and I'm starting to think this isn’t the place I need to be anymore.” the latter part of your rant slipped without you even realizing it.

“What are you saying?” you shook your head, chewing on the side of your cheek and deciding not to dive into. Nolan didn’t care, and he was not the person you needed to be talking to about these things.

“Nothing. Forget about it.”

“Y/n. You’ve never been good at opening up but you’re clearly struggling. I know I'm not your first choice right now but I'm the only one that’s here. There was a time when I was your go to person for this sort of thing. So just tell me, what are you talking about?” you stared at him, hesitation evident in the way you were chewing on your tongue.

He was right, though. At one point, he was the person you called when things went wrong. He was the one you unloaded things onto at the end of the day when he asked what was worrying you. You told him your problems, shared your demons with him. If there was anybody who knew how you got when things were ruining you from the inside out, it was Nolan.

“I got a promotion.” a small smile spread across his lips, excitement and pride filling his chest. He always supported your work ventures, and he knew that they were crazy to ever think that you wouldn’t be their top employee sooner or later.

“Y/n that’s great.” you shook your head slowly, heart deflating in your chest before you pushed out the vital information that he hadn’t been looking for.

“It’s in Vancouver.”

He didn’t know what to say. On one hand, he wanted to say no. no, you can’t go to Vancouver. No, you can’t leave Philly behind. No, they don’t need you up there, they need you down here. He wanted to grovel, to fall to his knees and to beg you to stay. Stay in an apartment that he knew like the back of his hand, stay in a city where he knows you’re never too far. He wanted to say that moving to Vancouver was crazy and you’d regret it before you even had time to settle in.

But he couldn’t do that, because the other half of him was louder and logical. You deserved the promotion, deserved the raise that came with it despite where the job was. Nolan knew that Philly held things that you wanted to forget about, reminded you of times in your life that were only painful to think about at this point. You didn’t want to be here anymore, that much Nolan could tell. If you didn’t want to be here, you shouldn’t have to be.

“I think that would be good for you.” it was hard for him to say, tasting just as vile as it was to think about you going to another city.

Would you go to Canucks games? Would he have to see you dressed in blue and green rather than orange and black? Would you start hanging out with the Canucks roster like you did with the Flyers or would you avoid hockey completely? Maybe you’d date one of their players or maybe you’d make sure that anybody even remotely affiliated with hockey stayed far away from you. He didn’t know what the future held for you, but he hoped it was filled with joy and relief from the things you’d endured in Philly.

It hurt you to hear him say it just as much as it hurt him to say it. You could see that there were more thoughts swimming through his mind, that he wasn’t telling you everything he was thinking. Part of you wanted him to beg you to stay, to say that he was single now and everyone knew about the two of you anyway. You wanted him to say that maybe one more shot would finally do the trick, but you knew he wouldn’t and you knew that jumping back into anything with Nolan was far from a good idea.

Then there was Joel. Joel who had feelings for you that you never got the chance to hear about. There was a place for you and Joel, you knew that, but you thought it was unattainable. To be with Joel after everything between you and Nolan, it’d be a catastrophe. There wasn’t a possibility of you going back to being best friends, not when he had feelings for you that weren’t unrequited. You could pour your heart out to Joel, could tell him that you could see yourself falling in love with him if he was willing to be patient with you. But you couldn’t do that either. Not when you had finally come to the conclusion that you needed to move to Vancouver in order to put yourself back together.

That didn’t stop you from looking over your shoulder though, gazing at the boy who was impossible to rid your mind of. His smile made your heart clench, the way his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut behind his glasses. He was beautiful in every sense of the word and while you loved the sound of a world where the two of you fell in love with zero complications, you knew that you were holding onto false hope.

“You should tell him. I don’t doubt he’ll show up on your doorstep in Vancouver if you don’t.” you laughed gently and turned back to face Nolan, hardly aware of when you had turned away from him. He wore a gentle smile, one that told you that even if you took this step, he would still be here for you. Maybe not in the ways that you previously needed him to be, but there was always room for building a new foundation.

“I will in a bit.” you whispered gently, sinking into your seat and lying your head on Nolan’s shoulder.

You’d miss this; he noisy bunch inside right behind you, the skyline you could see from Tk’s balcony. You’d miss the feeling of being close to Nolan, if only having your head on his shoulder while you sat in silence. You’d miss excitedly running into his apartment with new song recommendations, or him sending you a short playlist he made on the road for you. You’d miss waking up in the middle of the night to him tossing and turning until you brought him painkillers and a tall glass of water.

You’d miss Joel slamming his way into your apartment with a bright smile that meant he was having a dangerous thought. You’d miss the times you’d bring his back to the rink when he forgot it at home, or the way that he brought you lunch on days when you were too busy to send him a simple text that told him you were okay. You’d miss lying your head in his lap and looking up at him with nothing but love in your chest.

You’d miss going to Flyers games and watching your friends do the thing they loved most. You’d miss watching Joel score insane goals that you were always unsure of how he made them. You’d miss wearing Nolan’s Flyers paraphernalia and splitting snacks with Karly.

You’d miss it all, but you had to go. You had to go for you, because Philly isn't home anymore. It would always hold a special place in your heart, but so would all of the people in it. And you knew you needed to lead all of them behind as well.

Even the ones with bright blue eyes that would be burned into your memory for the rest of your life.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick x reader #nolan x reader #nolpat #joel farabee #joel farabee x reader #joel x reader #beezer #philadelphia flyers #flyers #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nolan patrick imagine #joel farabee imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine