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#This man has no shame and he is hilarious
brucewaynehater101 · 2 days
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ok probably ooc but what if Tim kinda sees Bruce as his son. He hangs up Bruce’s weird ramble papers like you would a child’s drawing. He praises Bruce when he does something well, scolds him when he does something bad.
Tim has no reason to see Bruce as a father figure, but he has every reason to see him as a son. Plus, Bruce is always adamant that Bruce will never his dad, not the other way around
Jason: “he replaced me with you! A new shiny son since his first one died cause of him!”
Tim: “I.. believe you misunderstand my relationship with the Batman.”
Bruce should be named Billy cause he is the Batson
Tim puts little gold stars on the mission reports Bruce does well on and has a chart to track how well the man is doing at self-care tasks. Surprisingly, the frowny stickers are very effective at shaming Bruce. Maybe it's the disappointment of an inanimate object, maybe it's because a child is putting up the stickers, but Bruce hates seeing when a new one has been added to the list.
It would be hilarious if Tim pulled out the list for Jason and Damian too. He has sections for "insults," "murders," "knife pulled," and "bodily harm to family members."" He doesn't tell them he's the one doing it, though, cause it wouldn't be as effective. They just appear in a common area one day for all the Bats to witness.
Alfred puts ones up for the others as well.
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cheese-water · 11 months
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HUH??????
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kicktwine · 5 months
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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magnifiico · 5 months
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Did your parents spoil you lol
@itsthedeadlyduo || i choked reading this ty
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“ — ... Now, I'm sure I didn't quite hear you correctly: spoil? “I haven't the foggiest where you'd get that idea, but let's find a better way to phrase that... ah, 'curiosity' next time, hm?”
He lets out a slow breath: efforts now to appear unruffled.
“As it goes with any good parents, I was well looked after, if that's what you mean. Nothing more, nothing less.”
// what he means to say is “yes, absolutely; how could you tell?” (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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allmpa · 2 years
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I’m scared of dogs like genuinely no matter how sweet or small or big or cute or whatever they look like I am terrified. And I think that’s fitting because something tells me sirius black would love to scare the shit out of me like for the split second before I realize it’s padfoot everytime I’m like screaming and crying in fear and he’d turn back into human form and laugh at me for weeks
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ohimsummer · 5 months
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BEG FOR IT ft. BULLY! SATOSUGU
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— minors dni, bully! satosugu x female! reader, feisty idk, dubcon, groping, nipple play, nipple stimulation, biting/marking, a hint of choking, teasing
wc 1.9k
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You’ve heard the name Satoru Gojo whispered among males and females alike on campus. How he’s good looking and charming and oh-so skilled at everything. You think his greatest skill might be getting on the nerves of people who want nothing to do with him.
This isn’t the first time you’ve gotten into an altercation with Gojo. It seems he seeks you out for the sole purpose of one; to pin your wrists above your head and lean in close to tease, and suffocate you with his loud cologne that you’ll never admit smells delectable on him. The way this song and dance usually goes is he spots you, taunts you, wrestles you against a wall until he deems your squirming and whining “too annoying”, and then he leaves you with a “See ya later, princess!”. You don’t know why today suddenly warrants different results.
“Let go of me, Gojo.”, you deadpan at him, icy stare meeting his own. You don’t find this manhandling of you funny, you never do, and you hate the way Gojo laughs about it like your dismay is just hilarious to him.
“Make me.”, he chuckles in your face.
Fuck him. You twist against his hold again, and Gojo has to give you credit for actually managing to free a hand. Though it’s about all you’ll manage. He’s too big and too heavy for you to force proximity — it’s like throwing yourself at a brick wall. Doesn’t mean you can’t try.
“Aw, how cute.,” Gojo snickers at your attempt to push him away by the throat, grabbing your wrist and holding it away from him. “Try a little harder for me, yeah?” And he bats those stupid, long eyelashes at you.
You sigh in exasperation and squirm some more. You stamp at his foot, and he moves them at the last minute every time. You push against him to at least get away from the wall, but it’s all to no avail. He’s got you trapped here and there seems to be nothing you can do about it.
“Give up?,” he asks at your deflation.
His taunt springs you back to life, and your cheeks puff out in an angry pout. “Let go of me, I said!”
“Make me, I said.”
And if it wasn’t for your hands being restrained, you’d claw him right in his annoyingly pretty face.
You wriggle again. “You’re such an asshole. Don’t you have anything better to do with your spare time besides harass innocent girls?”
Gojo maneuvers your wrists into one hand just so he can tap at his chin. “Better than this? Don’t think so, gorgeous.” He leans forward to whisper into your ear. “And I’m not harassing innocent girls, I’m harassing you-“
“Get off me!” Your writhing and thrashing cuts off the end of his sentence, and Gojo bursts with laughter at your futile struggles.
“Oh? Who’s that?”
Both of you turn to the sound of the familiar voice. You sigh an obvious, angry breath at the arrival of another annoying man, Suguru Geto. Of all the people who could have come across you two, it had to be someone else to get on your nerves.
“My little plaything.,” Gojo answers. “Cute, isn’t she?“
Geto comes to stand next to his best friend, and something twitches in the pit of your stomach. Aggravation, yes, but something else telling you to hurry and get out of there.
You glare at the two men who steadily eye your constrained form. The look in their eyes harbors anything but good intentions.
Geto starts. “She-“
“Are you two gonna hold me here all day or….?” You have a feeling their spiteful answer is closer to yes, so since you figure they’ll keep you here, might as well be as annoying to them as they are to you.
“Such a pretty face.” You turn away as Geto thumbs at your glossy lips. “Shame you’re so rude.”
“Oh, excuse me for not being so polite to my captors.” They laugh at the scowl on your face, and you find yourself shrinking away from their salacious leering.
Geto tilts his head, and you notice his lingering gaze on your chest. “I just got here, I’m not the one keeping you in these halls.”
“Well, you’re surely not helping.”
Gojo chimes in. “You don’t wanna spend time with us, Y/-“
His grip loosened for just a second, guard let down because Geto’s around, and you take full advantage of it. You yank your wrists away from his grasp, bolting between them and heading for the nearest door to the outside. You can see it clearly, your escape: white double doors with warm sunlight flooding in through the window, a lit up path to your savior, the outside. Your fingers are grazing that first streak of sunshine, the heat of it kisses your fingertips-
There’s a jerk of your wrist, and your salvation is stripped away as fast as it came. You feel a firm heat against your back, and the view of the doors is blocked by Geto’s tall frame. Bright beams of sunlight flow around his body, giving him such a dramatic lighting. Like he’s a god or something. You have to laugh, if not for the irony then for your own sanity because your escape attempt has been so quickly thwarted.
Gojo’s hefty, patronizing laugh sounds out in your eardrum. “And where did you think you were going, hm?”
You’re so pissed off you can’t even hear their cruel mockery. Hands now pinned behind your back, all you can do is hang your head in frustration and curse them in your mind, and God knows you’re cursing the absolute hell out of them. Gojo and Geto and their stupid laugh, their stupid faces, their stupid, stupid need to always be bothering you.
Caught up in your own scornful thoughts, you don’t hear when they address you.
“Think we broke her?,” Gojo asks.
Geto hums, chuckles. “Maybe.” He steps a little closer to you and Gojo. “Let’s see.”
His larger hands hover over your sides, rising until they near your chest. Gojo eagerly studies his movements over your shoulder, watches in anticipation as his friend’s hands come to rest on your breasts.
The groping of your boobs brings you back to reality, and you snap your gaze to the dark haired man in front of you. “H-hey, wait a second-!”
Geto doesn’t stop, only begins slowly massaging your tits as Gojo speaks. “Oh? Back with us, princess?”
You’re incredulous at the absolute gall they have to treat you this way. “Stop that!”
Narrow, dark eyes meet your own, wide and brimming with newfound anxiety. Geto ignores your demands, and his thumbs move to press over your nipples through the two layers of your shirt and bra. It feels so teasing, and the ministrations are causing a wetness between your legs, but you’d never let these two see this is turning you on.
You wiggle and pull away from Geto, but that only presses you further into Gojo’s body. It’s a lose-lose situation. Geto sees the realization in your eyes.
“Gonna behave for me?,” he murmurs as his fingers dip beneath your shirt.
“St-stop—!”, you try and command him with even an ounce of authority, but it comes out as a feeble whimper.
Gojo uses one hand to keep your wrists bound, and the other latches onto your throat. He directs your wavering glare towards him, presses his lips to your cheek as he continues to taunt you.
“We’ll let you go if you beg…”, he offers.
And your immediate answer is of course no, you’d rather eat shit and die. “I most certainly will not! Let go of me!”
Geto pulls your shirt above the swell of your breasts, exposing a lacey, pink bra. He comments ‘cute’, and you barely register it since you’re too busy struggling to turn your head against Gojo’s tight grip. He presses a kiss to the corner of your lips, and while you’re reeling with what you hope is disgust, you feel the tightness of your bra loosen and the undergarment falls to the floor.
“Look at that.”, Gojo halts his teasing assault on you for a second to take a good look at your exposed tits. “So selfish hiding all this from us.”
“I’m not-!,” A squeak interrupts your statement as Geto runs a tongue over one nipple. Your thighs clench on instinct, and the look they share tells you they both noticed.
“I’m not!”, you finish your sentence. You don’t even know what else to say after that.
“Y’know…”, Geto mutters in between harsh suckles of your hardening nipples. “Perhaps if you weren’t so weak, you could’ve been out of this by now...”
The sheer audacity for him to even utter such a phrase has you struggling once again. “Weak? It’s taking two of you just to keep me here!”
Gojo promptly quips, “Only one of us is holding you, sweetheart.”
You aim to crush his toes beneath your shoes, only to be met with the floor when Gojo once again dodges your attack. Your lack of a proper comeback might as well be the funniest joke on earth the way he laughs in your ear about it. Not like it’s your fault, how are you supposed to focus with Geto swirling your nipples on his tongue and pinching them between thick fingers, and Gojo biting and sucking rough marks along your neck? You’re fighting back moans and trying to find the strength just to stay upright. If that wasn’t enough, you’re also juggling the fact that your panties are soaked straight through and, if you don’t leave soon, they’ll notice the discoloration dripping down your stockings.
Gojo gives your throat a squeeze, and smirks as you rasp in a breath.
“All you gotta do is beg for it.”, he quietly sings against your earlobe.
Pride be damned, you needed to get away before they used your arousal as another excuse to keep you around any longer. And to escape straight to your dorm for a little private time because just the way Geto was playing with you was gonna have your pussy leaking everywhere. You would not, could not afford to let them see you like that. You’d never hear the end of it.
Gojo’s hand leaves your throat and you let out a sigh. But your relief is short-lived as you feel his touch edge closer to your backside.
You’ve never made a decision faster. “Please let go of me.”
For a split second, it’s like time has stopped. Geto pulls away from your hardened nipples with a loud ‘pop’, Gojo’s hand stills on the curve of your ass. Both men look at you with matching grins, like they just won a Nobel prize.
Geto speaks first. “What was that?”
And Gojo right after. “Yeah, repeat it again?”
Your brows furrow and your gaze falls directly to the floor. “Pl…please let go of me.”
The grip on your wrists loosens instantly, and you snatch away from them both. You tug your shirt down to cover your breasts, and wrap both arms around yourself.
“See, now was that so hard?”, Gojo laughs after you who’s already heading out the door, yelling a shaky ‘fuck you guys!’ as it drifts shut behind you.
You walk back to your dorm on wobbly legs, erect buds poking through your wrinkled top. Finally able to flop down in the comfort of your bed, you realize you never picked your bra up off the floor.
No worries. It’s perfectly safe in their hands.
(aftermath)
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agentmarvel · 7 months
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Can we have headcanons of fem!reader wife x 141 guys and how they each handle her leaving for girl’s night out in a really skimpy dress?
I think they’d all have hilarious reactions.😂
Omg yesssss
NSFW under the cut
MDNI - 18+
♡ Price:
Oh lord, that man is NOT letting you out of the house.
"Where ya think you're going in that?"
gets a little pissy when you remind him you have one girls night a month, and you have every right to wear whatever you want
"Doesn't mean you have the right to show anyone else what's mine, love."
will physically block the door with his whole body, knowing you won't be able to move him unless he allows it
he isn't mad - no, quite the opposite! it's taking every ounce of his self-restraint not to rip that damn thing in half and have his way with you right there on the foyer floor
"John, move. I don't want to be late!" - "Shame... You should've thought about that before you put on something you know damn well I can't resist."
he thinks it's cute when you argue with him, but you both know this ends up with your front pressed up against the door, panties pulled to the side, and his cock buried to the hilt inside you
after he cums, he pulls your panties back into place and gives you a harsh swat on the ass, not caring that your make up is a little smudged or that your legs are jello while he's giving you that smug look he wears so well
"Enjoy your night out, Mrs. Price. Hurry home."
♡ Gaz:
he's on you before you even walk out of the bathroom after you finish your hair
wraps his arms around your waist, puts his chin on your shoulder, tells you how pretty you look
"This dress new? Haven't seen it on the floor before."
ohhhhh, he is so down bad for you, even after as long as you've been together
makes it a point to grab a quick selfie bc he knows it's a solid confidence booster, and he wants you to feel as beautiful as you look
it doesn't really cross his mind that anyone would try anything on you - you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, and he knows who you'll come home to; he knows who's bed you'll be in tonight, who's name you'll be calling in the dark
he even helps you pick the right shoes, even though you know he picks his favorite pair in hopes of seeing you in just those when you get home
ever the gentleman, he walks you out to your car, reminds you to drive safe, call him if you have too much to drink, etc.
he does, however, make it a point to send you some downright raunchy texts and a photo of his more... physical reaction, just in case you needed some motivation to come home a little early
when you get home (early), he's still riled up; he's too impatient to wait for you to make it upstairs, much less to unzip your dress for you, so you end up riding him on the landing until he's too tongue-tied to keep telling you how hot you look
♡ Soap:
you're not making it out of the house. Period.
the SECOND Johnny lays eyes on you, it's over
he's grabby as hell, digging his fingers into any part of you that he can - squeezing your ass, your hips, your thighs, tits, tummy, anything - while he navigates you to the nearest surface
"Yer so fuckin' pretty, baby. Never seen something so fuckin' perfect in my god damn life."
it doesn't matter if you end up on the couch, the kitchen counter, in the back yard; he's eating your pussy like a death row prisoner's last meal until you're crying, trying to wrench his head away with the hair tangled in your fist
he has your dress bunched up around your waist, straps pulled down so he can play with your nipples, but uses the whole garment as leverage while he fucks you stupid
you should've known better than to put a t-bone in front of a starving dog and expect it not to bite
"Go ahead, bonnie; text your little friends, tell them you're not gonna make it, yeah?"
♡ Ghost:
"'course, love. Have fun, be careful, call me if you need a ride."
Simon isn't too worried initially; he knows there isn't going to be a single soul in that bar willing or able to face his wrath should anything untoward happen. but then he actually sees what you're wearing, and all bets are off
that's why he follows you, he tells himself, it has nothing to do with the insatiable urge to destroy your ability to walk tomorrow
nothing trumps your safety, in terms of his priorities. he's simply here to look out for his wife, right?
wrong. he spends the next hour and a half watching you from a darkened corner of the bar while his palms itch with a need to touch
opportunity knocks when you excuse yourself from the table, and he follows you into the restroom, slipping in before you have a chance to lock the door
you're not surprised to see him (duh, you know him better than just about anyone), but you are surprised to find yourself bent over the sink, looking Simon in the eye through his reflection. he's fucking you mercilessly, spewing absolute filth while he pulls your head back by your hair
"My perfect little whore, hmm? Waltzing around in that tiny dress, wearing my fuckin' ring, rubbin' it in everyone's faces that you only open those pretty legs for me."
he wants to cum on your face, but you pout about the possibility of it getting in your eye, or worse, on your dress, so he settles for letting you swallow it instead
his impulses return not much longer after you return to your table; instead, he texts you that he's ready to head out, and you are all too quick to oblige
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after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.
steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.
eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.
so steve is all over eddie, it seems.
at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.
so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.
robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?
eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.
it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?
- robin and steve
“Steve.”
“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“
“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…
Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.
“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”
To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”
“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.
“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”
“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“
“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”
To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.
“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.
“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”
“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“
“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.
“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”
She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.
He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.
After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.
“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”
He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.
“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“
“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.
“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“
“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”
Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.
“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”
“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”
“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”
- later. steve’s house. to be continued?
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konigsblog · 4 months
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choking könig ...
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soap version. gaz version. ghost version. price version.
tw/cw: choking, dom!könig & sub!reader, degrading, size difference mention (not a petite-reader though).
könig finds it hilarious when he has you on top of him. regardless, you're small compared to him as he's a very, very tall and brawny man. something about having you choking this large man was a fantasy for könig; a huge turn on that had him achingly hard and throbbing inside of your slicken, drooling pussy.
he had you sat on top of him, his thick and rough fingers pumping inside your tight hole. you mewled, squealed with delirium as he continued to mess with your dripping cunt. he ordered you to choke him, his stern voice threatening and demanding as he helped you wrap your small hand around his thick neck. könig's large and calloused hand gripped your neck firmly, choking eachother while könig opened your supple thighs, fucking your tight and drooling cunt with his three large fingers.
your eyes widened and became blown out with euphoria when he fucked them deeper inside, his heavy and sticky cock leaking and sticking to his lower abdomen, pearly beads of his arousal smeared across his happytrail. you became insatiable, hungry for more as he continued to work his way inside using his digits, your lips parted as you choked out a breathless moan.
as he tightened his hand around your neck, you did the same. both your hands gripped his nape tightly, squirming so you were sat on his burly lap, your cunt an inch away from his lengthy, sore shaft. könig pulled his three, soaked digits away, the emptiness causing you to cry out and choke him harder with pure horniness.
god, you just wanted it all so badly. the feeling and sensation of his bulbous, thick heat pressed against your slit was leaving you choking on air, moaning out with tears running down your cheeks as he rubbed his shaft against your clit.
each stroke he made by grinding his lengthy, hard cock against your slicken slit caused you to squeeze his throat firmly. könig became breathless in minutes with your grip, his own orgasm along with the choking was having an effect on him, and his dick couldn't stop twitching and throbbing when pressed firmly against your soaking, sopping pussy.
“my dear, you're leaving me breathless. i can see you twitching and squirming when i rub my hard cock against your cunt just like..-- this... does it excite you?”
you choke him harder through sexual frustration and neediness, your thighs trembling and shaking with pleasure as he continued to rub the head of his wet, stiff cock against your sensitive nub, taunting you with his breathing laboured. you were holding together horribly; unable to keep yourself from squirting over his lengthy, slick cock, he hadn't even slid inside yet! shame filled you, letting go of his throat and collapsing forward against his musky, brute chest, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he attempted to catch his breath.
“my dirty thing, you will take me whole, just like you are ordered to...”
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cherry-leclerc · 2 months
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method acting ☆ cl16
genre: series - humor, strangers to friends/roommates, fluff, smut, denial of feelings
word count: 4.6k
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+...f!receiving, fingering, dry humping
cherry here!... seeing as we're basically at the end, i will go ahead and say that this series has been based off of Roman Holiday! c'mon now guyssss - enjoy the spiciness ;)
ch. one ch. two ch. three ch. four ch. five ch. six
Chapter 4
Life, as you fear, is falling apart as you're confronted with a serious case of writer's block that puts your career on the line. As a solution, you're roommate helps you plan a solo trip to the Amalfi Coast for a much needed break but it doesn't take long for you to meet a certain Monegasque who lays passed out on the beach.
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If there was a reasonable explanation of a frog finding a home deep inside your throat, then you would somehow understand because at this moment, it sure felt like it. Charles doesn’t do much apart from blinking at an extremely slow pace. You knew that day that you should have turned the other way, but like always, your curious mannerism won. Here were the consequences and now you had to deal with them. Your lips part, ready to aim meaningless excuses but instead release a shaky breath, finding it hard to make eye contact with his soft orbs.
“How did you find out?”
A stupid question, you knew that, but there wasn’t much to say. It was motifying enough now that you knew, he knew. “You remember how I always beg you to wash your hand every time you finish eating those little chocolates you like?” His lips curl. “You must have forgotten to do so the night before.”
Heat rushes all throughout your body as you come to a halt. His accent emerges with no trace of anger, but rather embarrassment of his own. Shame. Noticing you’ve stopped, he turns back to face you, only a few steps marking a distance between you two. “I don’t know what else to say other than sorry.” A sudden urgency zaps through your veins as you walk closer to him, broken cobblestones rubbing against your shoes. “That was something private and I crossed the line, Charles. Y-you don’t understand how sorry I am.”
A lazy shrug is all you receive from him as he sheepishly smiles though there’s a downcast to the act. “You don’t need to apologize. I should.” His words make you blink with confusion. No you don’t. Green eyes flicker onto the pavement before connecting back to your dreadful ones. “No, I do. I haven’t been honest.”
He visibly gulps, strong Adam’s Apple dancing its way up and down. “I’m sure you know by now. Considering you read it.” Sharp nose twitches, fingers drumming against his thigh. “But I want to hear it from you.”
Further heat rises as you furrow your brows. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. From what you read in between those pages, who am I to you?”
Flashes of his messy handwriting scribble its way into your fuzzy brain. Entries where he would talk about the hydraulics, whatever that meant, to depressive episodes he tries perfecting to keep out of sight. It’s sweet, raw, funny, and you ruined it for him.
“You’re just Charles. A man who enjoys spending his time playing piano, even if he can’t curve his fingers in time to hit the right notes. The one who proceeds to chuck an apple at…” You nibble on your lips, mind digging into the deepest delves as you try to remember. “Joris’ head?”
Pink blush feathers onto his cheeks as he bites his tongue. “You read that?”
A soft giggle erupts. “It was pretty entertaining.” He chuckles, but there is evidence that he was pleased by your answer. You find yourself wanting to continue. “A brunette who likes to tease a city girl when it comes to the amount of sweets she eats.” A lot, he snickers as you bite the air. “Someone who cares enough to take me on walks when I need it to calm down. Even if I don’t know it myself.” A pause. “You’re not some snotty F1 driver who brags out to the rest of the world how rich and famous he is. You’re clumsy, hilarious at an unhealthy amount that makes me think I can form a six pack without ever stepping foot in the gym, and you’re the kindest man I’ve ever met.”
Charles’ heart does an unfamiliar dip as he takes in your breathless state, as if someone’s just saved you from drowning. His feelings lunge towards you as he feels your genuine honestly. You weren’t just telling him what you thought he needed to hear, no, you were spilling it all out as if it were the easiest thing you’ve done in your entire life.
He feels stupid for keeping this from you, thinking you would betray him in some sick and twisted way. That you would think differently - treat him differently - if you knew how many zero’s took place in his net worth. How could he have ever doubted you?
Suddenly your eyes shine a little brighter, as if that were possible. Your lips blossomed into the prettiest shade of pink as you sheepishly smiled back at him. Your aroma quickly becomes his favorite scent in the world and he wishes for nothing more than for you to look at him the exact same way he looked at you. 
“I’m really glad we met.”
Your smile widens. “Lo stesso qui.”
-
The opportunity had presented itself, landed right in the palm of your hand. The universe gave you a chance…and you blew it. Your initial thought was that you, too, would come clean, but as soon as he started moving his lips and opening up to a level you never imagined you would ever reach, you pushed it further into the back of your mind. And now days have passed and it was just weird and awful that you never mentioned it in the first place. 
Times like these, you wish you had your cheerful friend to tell you what to do. Dialing her number, you patiently wait for her to pick up. Hello? The taste of home makes your heart warm as you beam. “Amelia, it's me.” A loud pitched scream flies into your ear as you pull your phone away. “I’m aware I’m missable, but there’s not need for you to-”
“I’m engaged!”
Your jaw drops, clumsy fingers navigating to press on FaceTime. The blond answers straight away, stunning diamond already being shown off as you gasp. “You’re fucking shitting me? Amelia Thompson! You’re about to be locked down for life.”
Your friend happily shrugs before hopping up and down. “This is cra- insane. This is insane. Isn’t it insane?” It’s actually very sane if you ask me. You two are meant for one another. Two peas in a pod. Her smile widens as she scrunches her nose in a playful manner. “I mean I just thought this wouldn’t happen for another year or so, but then he took me to that little park we love to go on Sunday’s and then a bird attacked him and th-”
“Back up, a bird attacked Roman?”
“Oh yeah,” she firmly states, red lips pursed as if to refrain from releasing a loud laugh. “It was a whole thing…”
Sitting there and listening to Amelia rant all the while Roman smiles as if he’s never seen a better encounter in his entire life, it suddenly hits you. Pangs your heavy chest. You were happy for the couple, over the moon, but you couldn’t help but mourn the end of an era. It only seems as if a few years ago you two were tugging heavy suitcases into your empty apartment. It would only be so long before she eventually moves out, leaving you alone. And it's not just that, but now you realize how lonely you’ve been these past few years since all you’ve ever done is dedicate your heart and soul into proving to be something you desperately wanted to be. 
“Helloooo?”
Snapping out of your self pity, you blink rapidly. “Sorry.” You release a content sigh, swooning as you nuzzle your head into the crook of your elbow as you press your face against the fancy marble. “I’m so happy for you both, really.” But? “But I’m jealous Roman gets to keep my roommate. I was here first.”
Amelia giggles. “You’ll forever be my favorite roomie. Plus, Roman kicks in his sleep so it's only a matter of time before I hit him with the divorce.”
It’s only after you two hang up that you realize you still hold everything inside your chest. Sighing, you make your way out to the terrace, hoping to find some peace and tranquility. Instead you find the Monegasque blaring rock music as he does yoga. 25/50 of what you were looking for. 
“Does this actually help you relax?”
Like a cat jumping out of its skin, Charles yelps as he hears your voice. He clutches his chest. “Does that answer your question?” The corners of your lips turn upward. He squinted at you, head pointing towards the house. “Good news?”
“Very. Amelia and Roman are getting married.”
His lips stretch into a sincere smile as he stands up straight. “That’s great.” Nodding, you tug your own mat as you begin to stretch. His stomach flips at the simple act. 
“She deserves it. They both do.”
Even as the music blares at an alarming rate that should have you worried for your hearing, you don’t move an inch and neither does he. With slight hesitance, the brunette licks his lips. “And how are you feeling?” You blink, suddenly losing balance as you plant your bare feet. Me? He nods. “You have feelings too, right?”
“I mean, do I really have the right to say anything else other than I’m glad my friends are finally tying the knot?” Floppy curls fling forward as he pretends to nudge your shoulder with it. You bite back a grin before you twirl into a soft frown. “I’m a bit sad.” A small click coming from him is enough for you to continue. “I guess I’m just not used to being alone. Amelia has been with me for as long as I can remember.”
“And she’ll always be there, you know? Only now, she’ll have a different last name and shiny ring.”
You roll your eyes. “What I mean is that it's starting to hit me. How far I’ve fallen behind in the dating category. All those times I’ve been asked out, I pushed them all away because I either had too much work or wanted to spend time with my friends. Now they’re getting married and I’m just kind of…here. I wish I knew what I was turning down.”
The Monegasque lets out a light whistle, fingers snapping as he stares off into the distance. “I would like to pretend that I don’t know what you mean, but I do. Racing is everything to me - it’s what makes me happy - but that won’t always be there. It's a scary thought to have, I know, but that's the way the world works. We need to grow up even after we’ve grown up. It’s a thing that continues for a lifetime and ends with death.”
Your eyes widen with alarm as you gasp at his gloomy perspective. What if you were still wasting time? For sure you still were, but what were you doing with your life? You’re just a broke girl who forms relationships with people you love to spend time with only to use their words for your benefit. A dark chuckle roars from your roommate as he quirks his head. Don’t get too freaked out. “Don’t scare me then.”
Charles shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ll meet someone soon. Someone who will love you as much as you love your piles of junk food.” You aim a sour scowl. He snickers, but continues. “And you’ll realize that all the worrying was for nothing.” The soft sound of waves crashing fills the silence. “But please invite me to the wedding.”
There’s a soft glow to you when you let out a bittersweet smile. “You promise you would go?”
“I thought I made that clear when I said I would go wherever you are.”
Your breath hitches, a gust of wind nearly knocking you down just as efficiently to his meaningful words. Forcing yourself to look away, you press your lips into a fine line, head bobbing in understandment. He shifts. “Teach me a few poses?” you ask, signaling to the mat. 
Let me taste your silhouette. You can talk between my legs.
“Oh um,” he stutters, red painting his entire face, briskly reaching to turn the music down. You suppress a giggle as you stare back blankly, lips occasionally wobbling, threatening to let out a teasing smile. “I-I-I don’t usually hear music like this. I m-mean - I do - but…it helps me relax.”
Giving up, your lips stretch, eyes crinkling with amusement. “You get more interesting day by day, Charles Leclerc.”
-
It’s now Monday and you still haven’t met your word count. It should be easy, you have lots of useful information, but every single time your fingers glaze over the mocking letters, you only think about how terrible of a friend this all makes you. And it’s as if Eleanor knows your lack of work, lengthy emails entering your inbox with daily reminders about your due date. It doesn’t help either that the green eyed boy keeps reminding you about the last two weeks you two have together. 
“I’ve just gotten so used to you,” he pronounces as he cuts up fresh peaches. “It’s going to feel wrong not seeing you often.”
Your fingers come to a halt. “Let’s just not think about it. How about a round of Truth or Dare?” You wiggle your brows. “Game?”
“Game.”
“Truth or Dare?” Dare, he eagerly spits out, anticipation evident. “Okay. What does the golden pin actually stand for?”
He scrunches a teasing brow. “You really thought this one through - used your brain. I’m impressed.” You hiss, pen barely missing his head. He cackles nonetheless at your childish behavior. “It’s sort of the same thing as I told you that day. He did say to go retrieve it when I got a Ferrari.”
Now it’s your turn to bunch your neat brows. “But you already own a Ferrari.” A slow smirk paints your lips. “Oh! You want to brag!”
“No,” he scolds. “Would you let me finish?” Relaxing against the pillows, you nod. “When I got a Ferrari championship. Only then could go get this mysterious horse. I think he thought I could do it.”
Your heart twists as you note his wretched smile. “Do you think you can?”
He sighs. “I’m actually not sure. Y’know when I first joined the team, I really thought I could. I mean, everyone around me was telling me how great I was, how my long contract must have meant I was extremely worthy. Now all I get are pity stares. High expectations that have me second guessing everything.” He turns to you. “But then the church was about to be demolished, so I had to go get it regardless.”
Licking your dry lips, you nibble before releasing. “I know you can do it. He might not be here to let you know anymore, but I am. And I know you can.” A beat. “Is that why you gave it to me?”
The brunette winces before tilting his head. “I don’t deserve it.”
In a single movement, you hurriedly crawl over to him as you slap him. Suddenly he’s on high alert as he grabs his cheek in pain. What the fuck? You smile sheepishly. “Don’t you dare say shit like that, Charles Leclerc. You have to believe in yourself the same way you did when you were a kid…I’m keeping the pin.”
His gaze darkens. “Oh, so you don’t believe I’m going to ever get a Championship either?”
“Don’t be stupid. I know you will, but I’ll take care of it for you. That way you have something to work for. I’ll be your temple,” you offer as he quirks a brow. 
“My temple?”
You hum. “They’re knocking down the other, so I’ll take over. And I’m just letting you know right now that I’m not giving it up that easily. You have to work really fucking hard.”
Charles’ pulse speeds at your determination and belief, so much so, that a certain kind of pride that had left him long ago returned. He could do this, he could win. He would win. Even if it killed him. An unknown flicker strikes his green eyes as your stomach churns.
“You’re not like the others I’ve met…” He grabs your hand, making you flinch in surprise. “I’m going to do it. For you.”
It’s as if he stole your breath away as you struggle to regain your composure. “...And for him.” His grin never once melts away as he squints a shy eye, lashes fluttering. That was implied, too. You’re the first to pull away as you purse your lips. “Your turn. I pick Dare.” 
The Monegasque coughs. “I dare you to tell me a secret.”
Your smile falters. “Don’t you think you have to work for it? I can’t just give it up like that.” Shaking your head and crossing your arms, you pout. 
“Oh, come on! It could be any. Your pick.”
“How generous,” you murmur. “I dented your car.”
He gapes, eyes zigzagging as he forces a smile. “No, you said it was a little boy who kicked a soccer ball.”
You wince. “I was trying to back out of the driveway to go get us some donuts and I wasn’t looking and next thing I knew…” You’re rambling for sure. “It’s not that bad?”
Charles groans. “I told off the first little kid who passed by with a soccer ball, thank you for that.”
You shriek. “Liar! No! What did you say?”
A smirk slithers onto his face. “I’m totally kidding, I knew it was you.”
“But-”
“I heard when it happened - it’s what woke me up in the first place. I stood up to check and saw you driving away.”
“I’m sorry,” you chirp. “You shouldn’t have left the key out like that for me to grab! So if you really think about it, it’s kind of your fault.”
“Of course it is,” he pressed with amusement. “I forgive pretty easily, so I’ll let you off the hook.” Your palms sweat with uneasiness. “Your turn. I pick Truth.”
It’s as if you’ve suddenly become extremely dehydrated as you blink back blankly. “Got a crush on anyone back home?”
“Skip.”
This gets you curious as you arch your brow. The Monegasque goes to extreme lengths to avoid eye contact. “You have to answer, that’s not how the game works. I promise I won’t tease.”
Long fingers drum against his lap as he whips his head, shaggy hair brushing along his face. “Maybe so, but I’m using my free pass.”
You let out a heavy heave. “What are you talking about?”
“Remember I gave you a free pass when we first played Truth or Dare by the shore and I said I would only let you skip if I got one of those in return? Okay, well, I’m using it now.”
“Wha- that’s not fair! That was so long ago, it doesn’t even count.”
He chuckles. “Yes it does.”
With a sour expression, you huff and cross your arms. “Fine. I don’t want to play anymore.”
“You’re choice.”
-
The remainder of the day was spent with you locked away and Charles on a business call. Now that you knew what he was hiding, it was easier for him to get some work done. Either way, it worked out because before you knew it, you were nearly done. And he was clearly bothered.
“Looks like someone chewed your ear off.”
The Monegasque cringes at the brutal image as he sighs. “Do we have any more ice cream?”
“Nope. Finished it last night.” Analyzing his tense shoulders, you step closer to him as you tilt your head. “It won’t help you get over whatever’s on your mind, though. Want to talk about it?”
He extends his long legs underneath the table, head rolling back as he groans. You shiver, a pool forming in between your legs at the sight. Your body’s reaction feels filthy as you shake your thoughts away. “I was on the phone with my manager. They signed the contract. They actually did it.” He squeezes his eyes in disbelief. 
“What contract?”
The brunette finally opened his green orbs, annoyance circling them. “Looks like I’m getting a new partner.”
This comes as a complete shock to you as you make your way to an open chair. “When? Who?”
“Starting 2025. Lewis Hamilton.” Kicking an empty chair away, he grunts. “Oh my God, and here I was thinking I had a chance…” He laughs hysterically. “A chance.”
Seeing him so distraught made your stomach hurt as you shook your head along with him. “I don’t see how this is a bad thing…change is good, no?”
A soft chuckles flies past him as he angles his head to catch your puppy lost state. “First of all, I really enjoyed having Carlos as a teammate. We worked well together. Second of all, compare me - a twenty six year old with five wins in his entire career - to a seven time World Champion.” His shoulders droop. “Who do you think is going to get all the attention and support from the team?”
Your lips part, then snap back shut. He smiles, already shrugging it all off. “It was doomed from the start, I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” Loopy eyes hug your sympathetic ones. “I just don’t want to let you down.”
Frowning hard, you tsk your tongue. “I have a feeling it’s impossible for you to do that. You’ve got this, have a little faith.” Slipping away from your seat, you stand next to his exhausted state, where his body continues to hang like a wet dog. “Will it be easy? No, probably not. But the best things take work. It makes it worth it all at the very end. You’ll see, Charles.”
“How is it that you have so much hope in me?” he whispered meekly, face slightly pale.
Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you raise your shoulders high. “Because I’m a firm believer that you will accomplish yours and your father’s dream. And I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been on that same boat before, I’m quite familiar.” I sort of still am, you conscious barks back. 
For a moment, he lays still, green eyes taking you in, low breaths. Everything about this situation made you feel like a kettle, ready to cry out. There was something so intimate and raw with the way he was looking at you. As if you hung the stars up for him. You’ve never been one to stick around, so it came as no surprise to tear your gaze away, wobbly feet stepping back. “Just don’t-”
His hands are slightly slippery from his palms sweating. His chest is freakishly warm from his blood pumping. And his cock was most definitely hard. 
Shifting on top of his lap, you giggle nervously as you try to avoid the lust in his eyes. And the heat in the pit of your stomach. “No, we said…” You furrow your brows. “This is wei-”
“No, you said that. I only played along.” 
Inhaling sharply, you shake your head, hair practically whipping his face as he smiles gingerly. “You said the kiss was weird! I said the kiss was weird - we agreed.”
It’s his turn to narrow his eyes at you, large hands gripping your waist, keeping you from running away. “The situation was weird, but I’ve never felt a pair of lips feel so right against mine.” Long fingers trace your bare thigh. “I know you feel it too.”
“Your boner, yes, how could I not?” you hiss, face burning crimson red. “You’re going to ruin it-”
“No I won’t.”
“You’re going to regret it-”
His gaze darkens. “The only thing I’ve regretted so far is not telling you how I feel about you and not having kissed you the way I wanted to.” Green eyes soften up, almost pleading you. “Fuck. I need to - you don’t get it, I need to kiss you, amore. I swear to God if you say no, I might lose my mind.”
Your head begins to spin as you balance your hands on his broad shoulder. Behind your better judgment, you know you shouldn’t. This would only make things worse because you know the moment you lock lips with him and he finds out what you’ve done, how long you’ve lied, he’ll be so disgusted by you completely. 
But like always, you push that all aside.
You basically pounce on him as you smash your lips to his. It was hot, it was heavy, you could feel his teeth clash with yours, his tongue sliding inside your warm mouth. He grunts deeply, pushing your hips down on him as you gasp. Arousal drips past your silky legs, already forming a wet patch against his denim jeans. Charles groans loudly at the feeling. Whimpering, you tangle a clumsy hand through his messy hair.
“You’re telling me this is ‘weird’ to you?” he teases against your pouty lips, pants entering your mouth as you whine like a kid at the dentist.
“You’re insufferable.”
“You won’t be saying that in a few minutes.”
Swiftly, he stands up, setting you down on his chair. You’re confused with his actions as you desperately try reaching out for him. He lets out a dark chuckle. Then, he’s kneeling down in front of you, bringing the chair closer to him. Oh God. The sound of the wooden chair squeaking is enough for you to snap out of it and blink rapidly, as if this were all a dream. He grins wickedly.
A beautiful fucking dream. 
Shivering at the feeling of his calloused digits, you bring your brows together. He plays with the hem of your dress for a few seconds before sliding it up, cock growing harder at the sight of your red panties. “These dresses have been driving me crazy from the moment I met you.” He presses a sloppy kiss against your clothed center. “So pretty…”
“Charles…”
He cuts you off the moment he slides the thin material to the side, tip of his fingers rubbing your wet lips. Moaning, you instinctively drape your legs over his massive shoulders. With your entire strength, you try bringing his face closer to where you need him. He lets out a loud laugh.
“You really think you can push me down onto you?” He signals like a know-it-all. “Neck strength, baby, neck strength.”
“I don’t care if you’re a racing driver and that’s your entire exercise agenda, do something.”
That’s the only green flag he needs to dive in, sliding his tongue like an animal. Arching your back against the chair, one hand finds a home in his brown lock and the other grips around the armrest. Dizzy with his fast movements, you squeal when he sucks hard against your clit. 
“You’re crazy,” you manage to pant before clenching around his digits that have now entered the equation. And he just curls them so deliciously inside on you that you begin to worry you might finish against his handsome face. 
Pulling away, he looks up at you through dark lashes, a sly expression evident. “And you’re irresistible, perfect…” He growls when your hole tightens around his fingers, how your juices pour out. He can’t help but lick you clean, sighing against your thigh. “Simply perfect.”
It’s a haze and you barely have room to breathe, much less give him a fair warning, because suddenly your white nectar takes over and hits him all at once. You’re moaning loudly, he’s groaning as he slurps needily. It was just all too much.
And you didn’t deserve any of it.
Your chest rises up and down as you struggle to breath regularly again. It helps when he traces shapes around your legs, hot breaths of his own hugging your humid skin. His eyes take in your state as he looks up at you with complete defeat.
“How am I supposed to stay away from you, ange?”
taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm
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paintingwhiteceilings · 3 months
Text
❃ Seventeen and Playfully Flirting with Them ❃
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A/N: So sorry this took me so embarrassingly long!! I have been so incredibly busy with uni that there was little time to write anything, but essays. Hopefully, I will have a bit more time on my hands to occasionally post a reaction now and then. Thank you for your patience, hopefully, the wait was still worth it :')
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Scoups/Seunghceol
❀ The members had dared you to act flirty with him during their dance practice, and who are you to deny a bored Jeonghan and Joshua the fun of a struggling to keep composed Coups? He is trying his hardest to remain serious, attempting to scold some of the members who have started to goof off during their tiny break but is having a rather difficult time doing so as you push his hair back, whispering that he had looked so incredibly handsome during his part.
❀ Honestly, his mind kind of blanks, and he is all soft and puddy in your hands. Wait, what was he doing? He gets so incredibly shy as you keep doting on him, complimenting his dancing skills whilst playing with his hair. He gets ever shyer when he remembers that the members are watching you two. He will be all like, “Noooo, stopppp”, but he is lowkey loving it.
❀ The moment he realises you are being flirty solely because the members dared you to, he will get so incredibly pouty. How dare you use his love for your compliments against him? How is he to ever trust your compliments again? He demands a lot of cuddles and even more compliments in return.
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Jeonghan
❀ I can see him as someone who is rarely phased by playful teasing and instead really enjoys it, treating it almost like a game. He takes it as a challenge, trying to one-up every flirt you throw his way. Oh, you told him his eyes are beautiful? Well, guess what? Your eyes reflect all the stars in the universe. If you lightly touch his arm, his fingers will start to linger around your waist.
❀ Mind you, that is only when this man is flirting innocently. Most of the time, his flirting is on a whole different level and slightly inappropriate. Honestly, he has you flustered within seconds because his compliments are so out of pocket you feel like you need a dose of holy water to cleanse yourself from it. He has no shame either; he will do it in front of other people without blushing.
❀ At some point, he starts initiating it on his own. You will be talking to some of the other members when he enters the conversation, with his compliment being so cheeky it has you hitting his chest in embarrassment. Needless to say, afterwards, some of the members feel like they need therapy.
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Joshua
❀ This man is a king of accidentally flirty gestures to everyone he encounters. You have had enough; you feel like you should charge him for endangering your health by making your heart skip so many beats. Most of the time, he is fully unaware that he has done something romantic. After seeing your tomato-red face, he slowly comes to the realisation that his actions made your heart soar.
❀ Thus, you have decided to flirt back. Full-force. No mercy. You lay it on so incredibly thick that a part of your brain is constantly cringing. You beat him to opening the door for you, rushing forward to open it for him instead. Not a moment passes where you are not gushing over his handsome looks. Heck, you even got him flowers.
❀ He is all smiley during your love attack, loving every single minute of it. He thinks you are slightly ridiculous, albeit incredibly adorable. The reason he is flustered isn’t even the gestures; it is your determination to continuously sweep him off his feet that has him blushing. He finds it hilarious when he accidentally does something romantic before you can, and you get frustrated with yourself for not beating him to it.
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Jun
❀ Jun.exe has stopped working. Try rebooting him. If altF4 does not work, return to the manufacturer. He is not used to you being flirty and touching him more than usual. It isn’t that he minds it, but Jun doesn’t know what to do and instead freezes in place, staring at you in shock. Did you just really pinch his cheeks, calling him adorable? Jun feels like he is experiencing some type of fever dream. Upon you throwing your head back at the worst joke he has ever made, he gets seriously worried about your sanity.
❀ He is so incredibly close to getting you admitted to a hospital; he is convinced you might have hit your head too harshly when he wasn’t looking. When you assure him that you did not, in fact, hit your head, he whips his head around, trying to find the hidden camera that surely is the reason behind your weird behaviour.
❀ It takes some convincing that you are just being playfully flirty and that there is no prank being played on him. Once assured, he will let it happen, albeit shyly. Man’s still confused and can’t help but continuously blush, but who is he to spoil your fun?
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Hoshi/Soonyoung
❀ It can go two ways with him. Hoshi will either get incredibly soft and shy or take it as a challenge. The moment you get his attention by poking his cheek and telling him he is adorable, he will scrunch up his lil face in the brightest shyest smile ever, blushing like a madman. He will try to throw himself at the nearest object or person, hiding his face away from you.
❀ However, if he is comfortable with your flirting, it is honestly over for everyone around you two. It doesn’t matter whether it is a public space or whether you are in the middle of a serious conversation. Hoshi is always ready to grab your cheeks, turning your playful flirting into a disgusting “no, you are cute” battle.
❀ Everyone around the two of you wants to clean their eyes out with bleach because once you two get started, there is no ending to it. You two can go on for hours, telling the other why exactly you find them so amazing. Nobody will be left by the time you’re done hyping each other up and professing your undying love for one another. They have all fled. 
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Wonwoo
❀ Wonwoo is all smiles and blushing. Nothing more, nothing less. You had discovered his adorable way of reacting to your playful flirting after you two had gone to karaoke, and you had continued to sincerely compliment his singing, calling his voice the hottest thing to have ever existed. He suddenly got very aware of his body in space and froze in place before giving you the tiniest, shyest smile ever, his face slightly red.
❀ He loves it when you take his face in your palms, gushing over how his glasses frame his face so well. However, he doesn’t quite know what to do with it, freezing up at all the attention and love he is receiving. Out of all the members, he gets the shyest about it, muttering a small “you too” whenever you throw a flirty compliment his way.
❀ He will 10000% accidentally drop whatever he is holding the moment the compliment reaches his ears or when you happen to kiss his cheek. His face is red, and he can’t seem to stop smiling to himself for the rest of the day. He is incredibly torn between feeling embarrassed and wanting to hear you say it again.
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Woozi/Jihoon
❀ He immediately knows that you are trying to tease him, and he is having absolutely none of it. In your defence, your boyfriend had insisted on finishing up a song before getting dinner with you and had been at it for the past thirty minutes. Thus, you decided to turn your boredom into frustrating your boyfriend by plopping down in his lap, flirtingly complimenting every change he made to the song. Damn, the way he played that chord? So sexy.
❀ The only indication that he is affected by it is the increasingly reddening of his face and the occasionally wrong-pressed button. He tries to crank up the volume of his speakers the longer you go on, but it is no use. You simply lean in, getting closer to his ear.
❀ He will either give up and leave with a heavy sigh because he can’t concentrate anymore, or he will ‘accidentally’ lock you in the recording room and ‘forget’ about it, opening it when he finally finishes the song. He doesn't even apologize for it; you called it on yourself. You are lucky that you inspire most of his songs, as he otherwise would save himself future trouble and ban you from the studio.
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DK/Seokmin
❀ Initially, he thinks you are joking and will joke with you, pretending that he, too, thinks he is the most handsome person on the planet. However, the moment he realizes that you are serious about finding him show-stopping handsome, he starts to malfunction. DK is not quiet often, but your compliments never fail to make him tongue-tied.
❀ Thus, as some of the members are over at your place and DK is his usual loud self, you decide to set up a small competition about who can make him shut up the fastest. Naturally, they fail miserably and expect you to do the same. Whatever the members had been expecting you to do, kissing him on the cheek and telling him that he is the best thing to ever happen to you, was not it. Still, it works like a charm; DK’s eyes widen as he touches the spot where you kissed him in wonder, completely awe-struck by your laugh at his adorable reaction.
❀ After discovering it was a competition, he will pull on your sleeve to quietly ask whether you had meant what you said. When you tell him yes, congrats, you have successfully put him on cloud nine. It kind of backfires on you all, though. DK is so incredibly happy that he gets twice as loud.
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Mingyu
❀ Where DK gets quieter upon hearing a compliment, this man gets progressively louder. He is whining and squealing at your flirtatiousness. His body spasms and knocks something (or someone) over. His legs give out, making him fall to the ground as he is clutching his racing heart. He gets so giggly about it, too, asking you to tell him he is handsome again and again. The way he reacts has you momentarily wonder whether he has never heard a single compliment in his life; when you compliment the way his shirt shows off his chest, he gets all bashful, covering up his chest with his arms.
❀ He lives for this and keeps asking you to compliment him more and more. It makes you slightly shy as he is hanging off every word that leaves your lips, zeroing all his attention in on you. The moment you do as much as slightly graze his arm, he scoops you up in his, wrapping his arms around your waist. The world could be ending around him, and it wouldn’t matter as Mingyu feels like he has already gone to heaven hearing you tell him that he is your entire universe.
❀ He would shamelessly try to get you to flirt with him and compliment him more, wearing his tightest shirt and casually stretching in front of you. The moment you hold any jar that needs opening, he appears right next to you, flexing his arms unnecessarily as he dramatically opens it. He doesn’t even care that the members tease him to no end about it, as one compliment and touch from you is worth ten years of endless teasing.
❀ Let’s just say it never ends innocently, either.
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The8/Minghao
❀ He gets so soft when you run your fingers through his newly cut hair, telling him that you didn’t think he could become even more handsome, yet here you are. All he can get out is a “thank you” gazing at you like you hung the moon. He basks in the feeling of you playing with his hair, his smile only growing broader as you continue to compliment him. Minghao knows that he is fashionable, but nothing beats you telling him, whether playfully or seriously.
❀ When you get very playful with it, kissing every inch of his face whilst calling him the prettiest piece of art, he will get so red, giggling as he tries to get you to stop. In the end, he will hug you close, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Not only will it prevent you from kissing his face continuously, but it will also refrain you from seeing how much he is blushing and adoring your actions. 
❀ Once he feels like he has received enough compliments, he will turn the tables. He will softly tug you by the hand, getting you to sit across from him on the couch. Taking your face in his hands, he will return your compliments in full force. Minghao will be so sincere about it, too, regardless of whether you had only been playfully teasing him, poetically describing how you make his life more complete. He will take his time, savouring the way you blush at each word that leaves his lips.
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Seungkwan
❀ Listen up, BOO SEUNGKWAN DESERVES MORE COMPLIMENTS. We should give him more compliments as he deserves ALL the compliments because he is THE Boo Seungkwan. After hearing him complain once more that he needs to go on a diet in order to, in his opinion, look his best in the music video, you decide to wage war on his critical inner voice. So often, you have heard Seungkwan bring his own looks down, and you finally decide to do something about it.
❀ When you first barge into your shared living room, your expression full of determination, he initially thinks you are about to scold him. When, instead, you start to relentlessly flirt with him, calling him handsome and reminding him of all his best qualities, you catch him completely off guard. It takes a while for your compliments to reach him, after which he gets so painfully shy that he physically tries to leave your presence, running away to whatever corner of the room you are not in. One compliment would have already been enough to make Seungkwan bashful. But upon hearing the tenth compliment leave your mouth, he wishes to turn permanently invisible.
❀ He ends up locking himself in the bathroom, screaming at you to stop flirting with him as he can’t take it anymore. He is one of those people who would rather have someone lovingly call them stupid than receive a genuine, heartfelt compliment. He only chooses to leave the bathroom after you promise to stop, not daring to meet your eyes, fearing it might trigger another wave of compliments.
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Vernon
❀ Out of all the members, he is the most unphased and unimpressed by normal, playful flirting. Listen, this dude hears at least seven times a day that he has godly looks and resembles a young, handsome Leonardo di Caprio. Touching him, at most, will get you a questioning glance from him. Similarly to Jun, he would be concerned about your well-being, asking you whether everything is okay and if you need to talk about it.
❀ However, what he would love is stupid flirting. Let me explain what I, a fellow stupid flirter, mean. You would point at a fridge and tell him he is just as cool or compliment his ears for being perfectly round. Cue his wonderful chair-squeaking-over-floor laugh. The two of you live for coming up with the weirdest ways to flirt/compliment one another. To anyone else, some of your so-called flirtatious remarks come off more as insults than compliments. Who in their right mind would feel moved by being told that if they were a trashcan, you would only use them for paper?
❀ All in all, playful flirting with Vernon is equivalent to speaking his alien meme language. It is all about having fun for him, making the person he adores laugh and laughing at whatever they tell him in return. Vernon knows he is hot; instead he wants to know whether he is hotter than that beautifully shaped rock you found the other day.
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Dino/Chan
❀ He. Is. So. Shy. It gets worse if his members are around. You adore it when he gets bashful when you kiss him, smiling at you all dreamily before dropping his eyes, too embarrassed to meet yours. Usually, he recovers after a few minutes, whining that you gave him a heart attack and should make up for it by kissing him again, to which you all too happily oblige. Dino still freezes when he feels your fingers intertwine with his or go through his hair, afraid that a single movement might scare you off.
❀ Sometimes, he seems to slowly get used to it. On one occasion, he had returned so incredibly late from his dance practice that you decided to make up for lost time, latching yourself onto your sweaty boyfriend. To try and convince him to let you keep hugging him, you kept kissing him, telling him how much you had missed him. He mirthfully laughed at your adorable behaviour, kissing the top of your head, promising not to let go.
❀ Yet, today, you think you have officially broken your boyfriend. All you had done was take his face in your hands out of the blue, kissing him deeply before telling him in full detail how beautiful he is to you and how much you adore him. It, however, is enough for his brain to shortcut. All he gets out is a stupid “Thanks, you too.”
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Masterlist
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fayes-fics · 1 year
Text
Impertinent
2k Celebration Masterpost
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: Sneaking around Aubrey Hall in the dead of night brings you right into the path of one Viscount...
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Warnings: very suggestive content, nudity, teasing and touching, Viscount being a total menace but mostly a gentleman.
Word Count: 1.4k (250-word drabbles... I'm HILARIOUS)
Authors Note: Seventh in my 2k follower celebration drabble request fills for @colettebronte with the prompt “You heard me. Take. It. Off.” (ask here). This ended up quite tame, but I enjoyed writing him as a tease. Unbetaed. Enjoy! <3,
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You know it's not the right thing to do. To be snooping around Aubrey Hall in the dead of night. But you cannot resist it. As everyone sleeps, you wander silently, tiptoeing around in just your nightgown, the light of the moon streaming through the large windows to guide you. It feels elicit, exciting even. Exploring the home of the man you hope to marry, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton. You have danced and promenaded a few times; this early invitation to spend time with his family ahead of the rest of the Ton bodes well.
You pause at the door of his private study, then, with a fortifying breath, turn the handle and slip into the room. Warm embers glow in the fireplace, and the smell of cigars and expensive whiskey hangs in the air. It is so masculine and so Anthony you can't help but drift to the sizeable imposing desk and take a seat, fingers running over the wood, picturing him sitting right where you are, working hard on something important or other. It makes you lean back, something stirring in your body, just the thought of him arousing.
It's then you notice there is material draped around the back of the large leather chair—one of his velvet, tailed jackets. It smells of spicy cologne, and before you know it, your nose is buried in the material, drawing deep breaths, the scent making your thighs rub together. Something compels you to want to wear it, to feel it against your skin. 
With a boldness you thought yourself scarcely capable of, you stand up and whip off your nightgown, reaching to slip on the jacket. You luxuriate in the feeling of the luxury satin liner against your bare flesh, how it cools your back, snags your pebbled nipples, and how the velvet collar tickles your neck. The front may sit at waist height on him, but on you, the material skims the apex of your thighs, catching deliciously in the patch of hair you have there.
So wrapped up in the sensation of being surrounded by him, by his scent, you don’t hear the door open until it's too late.
“What in the…?” 
You startle and spin around to see there in the doorway is the man himself, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, casual in just a loose white shirt and his britches with braces slung around his legs. You are caught, red-handed. The power of speech has abandoned you, so you just stand there, a rabbit caught in his crosshairs, guilt, fear and shame flooding your system.
He stalks into the room further now and inhales sharply when he rounds a chair to see an unencumbered view of you, entirely nude except for his jacket. His gaze is heavy, sliding down your body sweeping your bare legs, then fixing on where the fabric only just covers you.
“Take it off,” he orders. 
You almost jump out of your skin at the tone and the gruffness. Your arms and hands incapable of moving; there are few charged moments when Anthony just stares at you.
 “You heard me. Take. It. Off.” This time it's even lower, a growl, predatory, enthralling.
And you scramble to obey, shucking the jacket from around your shoulders and letting it hit the floor with an audible thump. Entirely naked now, his responding noise has your thighs instantly damp.
“How impertinent to let yourself into my private study,” his voice surly as he prowls towards you. You freeze to the spot, your hands flying to protect your modesty. “Oh, it’s a little late for that now,” he chuckles darkly, “put your hands back at your sides right now.”
And you do. Casting your gaze to the floor as your cheeks heat. His stare is so heavy it feels like a robe you wear. Soon he is so close you can smell the same cologne that clung to his jacket but this time from his skin.
He circles behind you, and you gasp as he crouches down; it takes you a second to realise he is picking up his jacket, where you carelessly disposed of it onto the floor.
“Tell me, why would you put on my jacket while nude?” he queries, lingering there, and you shudder as his hot breath glances over your bare bottom cheeks as he does so, still behind you.
“I…I… I wanted to try it on,” you stumble, your voice far too quiet.
“And you had to take off your nightgown to do so?” he snarks, and both of your eyes cut to the side where your gown lays in a heap.
“It seemed like luxurious material,”  you confess, head still bowed, starting at the rug as if it fascinates you. “I wanted it against my skin,” those last few words are barely audible.
“You do not have velvet clothes of your own you could try this with?” he throws out, still behind you, that breath still hot over your cheeks; in fact, you swear it’s closer now.
“Yes, but…” you trail off, having no good excuse. Unable to think of a lie, you screw your eyes shut and decide on the truth “... they do not smell like you.”
You jolt and make a noise of sheer surprise as he pitches forward, and his teeth land on your cheek, inhaling deeply.
“At last…” he growls, scraping his canine over the globe of your bottom, “she admits to it.”
“To what?” you murmur as his wet tongue pokes out, soothing the spot he had touched with his teeth as you tremble.
“That you want me just as much as I want you.”
Your whole body shudders as he runs his tongue up the length of your spine, climbing to his feet, your toes curling, scrunching into the thick wool pile, as he unfurls to his full height behind you. You wish you had something nearby to grab onto; it feels as if you could topple over, the rush of blood to your head so intense.
“Are you a maiden?” his mouth is now hot on your ear.
“Yes.”
“And you have never had a man run his tongue over your body like that before, have you?” his voice dark and laced with bemusement.
“No,” you admit.
A warm hand lands on your shoulder as he stands behind you, and again you jump—your body aflame, your nipples pebbling hard, goosebumps breaking out down your arms.
“And I presume no man has touched your naked body?” 
“No, my lord,” your addition of his title makes him take a sharp breath.
“Good,” he snarls, sounding possessive,
His hand rounds your shoulder and starts to sink lower, mapping over the outer end of your clavicle as you try to school your body, trying to stay still, so completely overwhelmed by what is happening. When warm fingertips brush the top of your breast, you begin to tremble.
“Do you know what could happen to mischievous young maidens who break into men’s offices?” It's just a deadly rumble now while his fingers inch fractionally lower, so close to your nipple that it aches to be touched.
You are incapable of answering, so you shake your head a little, his nose bumping your ear.
“You are lucky, Miss y/l/n, that I am mostly a gentleman,” he purrs, “mostly.” 
You shiver as he circles your areola with featherlight touch but never crosses onto it, your heart pounding from the tease.
“I suggest you grab your nightgown and run now,” he advises, sounding like he is fighting his urges, his hand stilling in its motion.
“What if that is the opposite of what I wish?” you can barely believe you found the gall to utter your thought aloud, staring straight ahead at the bookcase, not daring to look down at his hand on your body.
His lips brush the shell of your ear, and it's like being struck by lightning.
“Leave now,” he whispers, “you may return tomorrow evening. Exactly as you are.”
“Why then?” you frown, disappointed as his hand drops from your flesh.
“Because then we shall be publically betrothed… and nothing should stop us.”
Your world spins, and you have to lock your knees to stop your swoon. “What…?”
“You heard me,” he says for the second time tonight, this time with a smug tone, stepping away and handing you your nightgown over your shoulder.
You take a faltering step forward and quickly pull on your nightgown, finally turning to face him again, and it steals your breath. His pupils are dilated, his cheeks flushed, his mouth damp and open.
“Until tomorrow, Miss y/l/n….” he gestures to the door and still utterly dumbfounded, you stumble towards it.
You cannot wait for tomorrow. 
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Anthony Taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @fictionalmenloversblog @debheart @malpalgalz @amanda08319 @panhoeofmanyfandoms @delehosies
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keulixeutin · 2 years
Text
Lovelorn & Laughable
a/n: tried something more casual and shorter.
summary: it’s laughable that your friends think that bakugou, of all people, is dangerous to you. bakugou x gn!reader.
cw: fluff. established relationship. mentions of drunkenness and alcohol. mentions of friends being afraid that reader is in an abusive relationship (they're not).  gender neutral pronouns used.
wc: 986.
You’ve been dating Bakugou for eight months, and your relationship with the infamous explosive hero is a confusing case among your friends.
However, you don’t know how confused they are until Uraraka pulls you aside one day to ask if you’re okay—read: to ask if you’re safe.
You almost laugh in her face, but you’re able to keep it together in front of her honest expression.  It’s surprising how little they know, and it’s hilarious how wrong they are (which is wild to you, because aren’t they close with Midoriya who considers him one of his closest friends?).
It’s laughable that they think Bakugou, of all people, is dangerous to you.
Bakugou, who gives you his credit card three months into the relationship.
Bakugou, who changes his phone background weekly because he can’t decide on one favorite picture of you.
Bakugou, who searches for your hand to hold even in his sleep, who jerks awake whenever he feels you shift too far away in bed, whose frantic fingers search the sheets for you in his half-sleep.
That Bakugou.  Right.
Though you have enough self control to not laugh, you do let out a wicked snort.  You tell her to watch carefully next time you’re all together, and even when she tries to tell you that she has been, you shake your head and repeat it—watch carefully.
At the next group outing at a pop-up carnival, you arrive arm-in-arm with Ashido, Bakugou following close behind.  Midoriya’s the only one who eagerly greets your boyfriend, though you wouldn’t say the others give an unkind welcome.  You grin at the ones you know are worried—Asui, Iida, and Uraraka—though they don’t find this as funny as you do.
Watch close, you mouth to them.
And they do.
At first, they think you’ve got some mild form of Stockholm Syndrome; they think that you must be used to trauma and that you can’t tell your relationship is a bomb ready to go off.  All they can see are his scowls and shouts.  All they can see is the angry child who grew bigger, stronger, and more powerful than he was a decade ago, a man who must be utilizing all of his strength and anger to keep you trapped.
Watch, you tell them again when they try to pull at you for a quick intervention.
They’re still doubtful, but for you, they try again. 
This time, they see things—they see Bakugou, maybe not the way you do, but different than how they used to.
They see how his shoulders always touch yours when he’s seated, how he accompanies you to the food stall so he can pull his wallet out, how he always glances back to see where you’re at as you linger at each stand.  They see him scowl with cheeks colored pink as you fix his hair in the whipping wind.  They see him lean into your ear and whisper something that makes you laugh as he points to an ugly pig plush prize.  They seem him pull you away from the group and sneak off into the crowd when he thinks no one’s watching.
Still not fully convinced, they finally approach Ashido about your relationship, about whether or not you’re truly safe and loved.  She’s first taken aback because she thinks they’re making a dumb joke.  Then, when she sees that they’re genuinely concerned, she doubles over in laughter, cackling so hard and so loud that there are hot tears in her eyes and painful cramps in her stomach.  She gasps out in between giggling and snorting about how incredible it is that they could believe something so obviously impossible, ignoring their expressions of irritation and shame.
Well, Bakugou doesn’t drink around you guys, so that’d probably help, huh, she says when she’s finally calmed down, wiping at her eyes.  At their confusion, she explains that he’s needy when he’s drunk.  I’ll give you a sneak peek, she smiles conspiratorially.
Pulling out her phone, she opens up the folder created specifically for sentimental Bakugou photos.  Ashido shows them a picture of him passed out on the couch, face resting against your lap with a firm grip on your calf (This was last week when he was plastered after four drinks!), another of him with you up on his shoulders in the pool, fiery smirks on both your faces (They beat me and Denki in Chicken, ugh!), and finally, a picture of him kissing you around a corner, which was immediately followed by a blurry photo of Bakugou swinging at the camera  (I don’t remember this one, actually, but this happens pretty frequently!).
Perhaps they hadn’t been watching closely after all, they think.
Ashido shows them several more photos, each with Bakugou sappier than the last, and she ends it by cooing about how cute the both of you are.  She says she’s surprised that neither you nor Midoriya have shown them anything, and Midoriya stammers out something about privacy, and they mention that they hadn’t expressed their horror in full until recently.
Horror, Ashido repeats, and then it turns into another full-blown cackle in public.
When you and Bakugou make it back to the group, you take one look at your friends and grin, seemingly aware of their newfound understanding.  They look back at you, abashed, but you’re too preoccupied with your bag of souvenirs and the ugly pig plush in your arms to be mad about their misconceptions.  Anyways, the pig was bought, not won, and you’re excited to share the story with the others.  Bakugou is on his phone again, subtly leaning against you; when Uraraka passes by behind him, she sees that he’s not scrolling through his apps but deciding a new background photo, stuck between one of you throwing the camera a kiss or laughing in the sunlight.  She watches him pick one and then favorite the other one.
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iamnmbr3 · 8 months
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So you know the scene at the end of The Taming of The Shrew where they have that stupid competition to see whose wife is most obedient? Can you imagine if other Shakespeare characters were there?
Ophelia: You called, My Lord?
Hamlet: No I didn’t. Why are you here when nobody likes you? Go away!
Petruchio: Even I think that’s mean.
Romeo: Go find Juliet and ask her if she would come here and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes, that make the very sun seem dull, and the loveliest hair and a face that puts to shame Aphrodite herself...oh and bring her this sonnet I wrote her...and actually I’ll go find her myself for I can’t bear to be apart from her another moment!
Petruchio: …
Petruchio: … Yeah he’s not coming back. Next!
Coriolanus: Go find my wife and ask her to come here and also ask her if she's seen Aufidius. Actually, have you seen Aufidius...or heard any news of him?
Servant: No I haven't… Is there a name or a description I could use to find your wife?
Coriolanus: Hold on. I know this one.
Petruchio: Wow... We’ll come back to you. Next!
Orlando: I refuse to participate in this farce. It’s demeaning to women.
“Ganymede”: Nonsense! Any real man (which I totally am) wants women to obey him without question!
Orlando: That’s wrong! That’s not being a “real man”; that’s just being a bully. I would never treat Rosalind that way and I hope no one else would either!
“Ganymede”: … You pass the test.
Orlando: What?
"Ganymede": What?
Benedick: HEY BEATRICE!
Beatrice from 3 rooms away: WHAT?
Benedick: CAN YOU COME HERE A SECOND?
Beatrice: WHY?
Benedick: SOME MAN HERE WANTS TO SEE IF YOU’RE OBEDIENT.
Beatrice: WHY ARE YOU PERPETUATING THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN INSTEAD OF PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE?
Benedick: YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO COME HERE AND SHOW OFF YOUR OBEDIENCE? I AM SHOCKED AND HEARTBROKEN!
Beatrice: HA. HA. SO HILARIOUS.
Beatrice: … HE STILL DOESN’T SOUND VERY PUNCHED IN THE FACE. I SUGGEST YOU FIX THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOREVER!
Benedick: ON IT!
Benedick *rolling up his sleeves*: Isn’t she great?
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radioisntdead · 8 days
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It's 4 am, I haven't slept and I'm supposed to be sleeping but Alastor shenanigans are plaguing me, headcanon time folks! Throwing the reader in at random times
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Alastor is stunned when you shine a flashlight at him, like eyes wide, smile stuck, ears forced straight,
Deer in headlights fr fr
He's NOT happy once he's freed from the flashlight pause, if y'all are romantically involved you are getting bitten, if you are not romantically involved, then you are getting threatened, sucks for you good luck.
Dude makes deer bleats, it's canon
Imagine just giving the dude some form of affection like a slight smooch on the cheek and BLEAT
Also hooves, I imagine dude has to get his shoes custom-made to fit comfortably,
Do y'all think he could tapdance with the hooves? Like click clack, I have no idea how tapdancing works it's late, I'm sleep deprived and delusional.
If you know how tapdancing works feel free to infodump in the comments I love reading infodumps
I have no context but onlyhooves popped in my head and I found that hilarious,there are probably people who have a thing for hooves in that universe in a non cute way. Yucky shame on thee.
Anyways put this man shoeless, hooves out on a fleshly waxed/mopped floor or something and he's becoming Bambi, he is NOT dignified when he's slipping and sliding, do not laugh at him you will get bit and I said it once and I'll say it again this man probably has something, Now I adore Alastor that deer guy is why I'm in this fandom BUT THAT MAN DOES NOT HAVE GOOD HYGIENE,
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Why do I like this guy? [It's probably because this is the only fictional character that I unwillingly got a thing for that's ace and I feel safe in that way, only in that way though he would kill me. Or I'd kill him first because I AM NOT GETTING TAKEN OUT BY THAT DRENCH HIM IN HOLY WATER]
Anyways back on topic y'all would 100% have to chase him down with a bucket of water, soap and a sponge.
Like use the flashlight to stun him and throw him into a bathtub, dab shampoo and conditioner in his hair and leave him there to soak, this is a weekly debacle
Like he'll take a bath on his own but that's like once a month maybe twice if lucky
You will have to remind him to brush his teeth and stand in the bathroom and watch him brush his teeth, y'all are going to have to change out toothbrushes often because he destroys them brushes his sharp ol' teeth
also I just realized his teeth GLOW? Brushing isn't going to make it any less yellow but maybe glow more.
Deers apparently do this lil' ol' foot stomp while agitated and I can't remember if Alastor does a lil stompy stomp in the show but I can just imagine dude leaning on his radio staff probably bickering with reader because y'all are trying to get him to brush his teeth and then stompy stomp.
You could probably dress him up festively for Christmas, he won't do it willingly but you could try, put Christmas lights on his lil' antlers make him grow em' out and you can put ornaments on it too
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I should be sleeping but I'm doing this instead, I am making great decisions here!
I'm yawning rn and that has lead to me thinking he probably unhinges his mouth like pennywise to yawn, Sometimes I wish I could do that, big yawn.
According to his wiki Alastor is a canonically a foodie and cooks
He has a cookbook that he made himself, it's handwritten and looks like it belongs to a older woman [COUGH COUGH he took care into making it look like a cookbook his Ma had cOUGH COUGH]
I imagine he cooks in bulk [me projecting but that's because when I cook it's usually for my family] and before the hotel he would pack it in advance like "this is my delectable lunch, and this is my partners lunch for tomorrow and this is for-" but after the hotel it's just "Salutations! I made dinner now feast."
I imagine there's a few checks to make sure he didn't put any sinner meat in there, like Sir we did not consent to cannibalism.
He usually makes dishes with sinner meat separately.
Dude sleeps with his eyes wide open, dry ol' eyes, give him some eye drops like sir you had glasses in life, I'm assuming your eyesight got fixed to some degree, TAKE CARE OF IT this is coming from someone with glasses, I want good eyesight SOBBING.
anyways if y'all were married for example in life the first time you go to snoozeville and you wake up you freak out because he's staring at you and he did NOT DO THAT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
Dude definitely got freakier in death, like dude was a funky lil' charmer that killed people, I can't emphasize enough that this man killed people, Remember it's alright in fiction but we don't condone it irl.
And now he's a funky cannibalistic dude, still kills people
Imagine keeping a diary or something and one entry is just like
"Dearest diary, Alastor has developed a taste for sinner flesh."
I really don't use Alastor making puns in my fics enough, I need to put that in more I ADORE puns
I've been kicked out of like two gcs because I wouldn't stop making stupid puns at bad times.
Same with the 1920's-1930's slang and just everything like that was my hyperfixation for a good bit [I say good bit like I wasn't a walking talking wikipedia article and like it isn't actively ongoing] [I am SO GLAD I WAS NOT BORN THEN I WOULD NOT SURVIVE FOR MULTIPLE REASONS.]
Dude has chest fur. Also random tuffs of fur around like his elbows or knees.
I also headcanon that he sometimes sleepwalks, so you wake up at 2 am and he's just standing over you, watching.
Assuming you're used to it you just blink before turning around and going back to sleep, add in a "Alastor go back to your side of the bed"
When he's not freaking you out with his sleeping habits he's staying awake for multiple days in a row.
Okay I'm going to sleep now goodnight folks, Let's see if this makes any sense when I wake up.
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solsays · 3 months
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I’m doing a whole series of these btw
Why BBH is the Hierophant vvvv
very set in their ways
counsellor or mentor who will provide you with wisdom and guidance or a spiritual or religious advisor such as a priest (ccBBH is actually able to BE a priest which is hilarious to me, but that aside, he was Cellbit’s “mentor” during the war)
Those close to you may not understand this need to challenge the established way of doing things and may be completely against it (the amount of qCharacters who disagree with things Bad has done is frankly impressive)
clinging desperately to old ways to your detriment or it may indicate that you have feelings of guilt and shame associated with behaving in a way that goes against the values you were raised with (this man refuses to “die” because he is afraid to forget all the eggs and his friends, but he has mentioned never to love things as an immortal because they will all die eventually multiple times)
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