#This is very long and I bolded parts to make it easier to read

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.

Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.

At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.

Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.

Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.

via @QuackitySubs

#Quackity #QSMP #QSMP Official #Translated #This is very long and I bolded parts to make it easier to read #but if there's a way to make it more accessible to folks lemme know! #I personally find the bolding thing helpful but I know everyone is different #Edit: got rid of the additional ''Quackity:'' bolded parts since that's unnecessary #since. you know. he's the only one speaking here #Quackity Subs also missed a few words in here so I added those in but otherwise this is exactly what was posted #Minus the part where they said ''fro'' #I don't know if they meant for or from but that's a very vital difference so I'm leaving that as-is #IMO: It's reassuring hearing the full statement #''Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread'' #is an especially important reminder #There has unfortunately been a lot of misinformation and catastrophizing / doomposting going around #I understand it's a very scary stressful time for many people #and it sucks being told to be patient #but we actually DO need to be patient if we want to get actual accurate information

[esotericpluto]

messages from your future spouse

from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings.

these are intuitively channeled messages. I also channeled a book and looked at the quotes until I found the one that I intuitively matches your story better.

pile 1

sunshines, rainbows, picnics, lakes, swans, ducks and bunnies is the energy this pile is giving me. It feels like your future spouse is looking forward to taking you to such dates and it seems like they cannot wait until this becomes a reality as you will be their sunshine.

"It is you and me against the world. You are everything for me, my flower, my castle, my sun, my moon, my world. Never leave me and I'll make you the happiest person in the world. We are in this together and I'll never abandon you. I'll be your lighthouse and guide you and you will be my candle in every unknown path of life. We are one and I can't wait until we marry and have children. I am sure they will have your beautiful eyes. We will me meeting soon, just trust your heart and let go of fear"

"She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents, would most suit her. His understanding and temper, though unlike her own, would have answered all her wishes. It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both: by her ease and liveliness, his mind might have been softened, his manners improved; and from his judgement, information, and knowledge of the world, she must have received benefit of greater importance.” – Pride & Prejudice

pile 2

I feel like your future husband has tendency to act rough and strong, even in moments where they just want to break down and hold onto softness. Strength and resillience become weary and too much of a weight to endure and carry after so long, especially after years of going through so many hardships, difficulties and even traumas. Your future spouse struggles with opening up, with letting someone in, with showing vulnerabity or even some form of weakness.

However, they are telling me, and this is the message for you, that you make them feel like they are safe and taken care of. You are the warmth in their coldest days, you make them feel secure and like they can finally lean on someone, like they don't have to go through everything alone. With you they will learn how to trust, how to break down their barriers, their fears, their deepest worries. They want to give you the world and will defend you and protect you from everything they want. They are definitely the type to be very bold and strong towards other, but a full sweetheart towards you and this is something that will greatly enrich your heart.

I feel like they are telling me that you will also be scared at first as you will feel as if they are going to break your heart. They can assure you they would not, they would rather the whole world ending than your love going away and they will stick to their words and promises. Trust your intuition always.

"The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness" – Les Miserables

pile 3

"If we have had many ups and downs, many struggles, many back and forths. I thought I would lose you for real, that I had truly messed up, yet we are here again. You are in front of me, in this altar, in this sanctuary of love, exchanging vows. You made me the happiest person in the world and I can only thank you for that. I am sorry for failing you like I did, I am sorry you had to see the worst parts of myself the way you did and if I could give you the universe to compensate you, I would.

I am glad we could meet again, be together again. I knew our hearts would always find our way back to each other. I saw you in my dreams, I remember you from past lives. Our love was destined and nothing that could have happened could have separated us or changed that. You are my angel, my salvation, my inspiration to become better everyday. You have a shine in your eyes that lights up my smile. Thank you for giving me another chance".

I do not think this is an ex (although, for a minority of you, it is possible). It feels more like someone who you will still meet, have a separation with and find your way back to each other eventually. They seem to have really learnt from their mistakes and will do everything in their power to show that to you.

"Good-bye, till we meet then—I embrace you warmly, warmly, with many kisses. Yours till death." – Crime and Punishment

#free readings #readings #free reading #free intuitive readings #intuitive readings #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot readings #tarot reading #future spouse reading #fs reading #fs pick a card #fs pac #future spouse pick a card #future spouse pac

[austenwazright]

Yeah we don't know a lot but here's what we do know:

Sarcean and Anharion were into each other for a long time

Sarcean was an important member of the Sun Court

When in the parade he makes a snark commentary about how the Sun Court wins may be celebrated in the light but are all won in the dark (shady

Sarcean and the Lady had a one night stand

Sarcean and Visander also had a one night stand

The first time that Sarcean and the Lady met she's talking about the Dark General in third person but like let's be honest for a second here how many pale hot white guys with long dark heir in dark armour do you think there were walking around the Sun Palace?? Bet you she was playing dumb

When Sarcean was called back to the palace by the Lady there was mentions of a mob, I myself am very pro mob

In that same scene when she accuses him he says something like "is that what you were told?", well if that line doesn't make you believe that there's more to it I don't know what will

He wanted to be trapped and he's loyal to those who help him, but apparently his plan to getting out was being helped, bet he made it thinking anharion would be the one to do it

There's a collar that in theory takes alway anharion/james free will, even tho we were in his mind when it went on and it didn't go completely blank we have to assume it does something, what does it do??

Sarceans power is in theory control and death, and he used it the meanest way possible, or so we're told, but the Light did win and the winner always gets to write hystory so we don't actually know what's true and what isn't

He did kill everyone in the Sun Court but Visander and the Lady, even tho we don't know hes motive (I'm assuming he has one) it's still kinda drastic don't you think?

He can make weapons and use the mark but we never saw him wielding the shadows (he may be able, but also he may not be

Will has no acess to his power but he gets things done cause he's smart and charismatic, even tho they paint the dark king as someone who could only gets things done when controlling people I bet part of his powers came from those qualities as well, we've seen Will using the mark, it drains him, he couldn't possibly control everyone all the time

Sinclair presents the mark as a ceremony, as a reward, when it would be easier to just brand people by force what maybe tells us that it has to be willing

Anharion was the one to say "I will always find you" maybe the obsession goes both ways???? Besides james remember the feel of him and, as far as he let us know, it's not like bad

Now its just an hypothesis but sarcean may only be able to use his powers through objects (and yes I'm putting the reborns and the returners as objects to make a point sue me), that's the reason of the mark, and the cup, and the collar. I mean why make a fucking cup that turns people to shadow if you could just do it yk (here comes in the acceptance again, people have to be willing to drink), and like maybe, just maybe, the collar also allows james/anharion to use his magic (as in sarcean's) in a more weaponized way??? As in he can use it without draining himself, kinda borrowing it

We also know sarcean's fine as fuck, so far that has been very relevant to the plot since he fucked basically anyone of the old world we know by name

Something I keep forgetting is Will is Sarcean but hey Sarcean is also Will, and even tho we don't know a lot about the former we just spent two books in Will's head, that being said maybe Sarcean killed the whole Sun Court as some king of vengeance for someone he loved/was loyal too, that's like a super Will move

I'm gonna put this in bold letters here so no one forgets: SARCEAN IS WILL, WE'RE READING ABOUT THE SAME PERSON

"I cannot come when I'm called to fight so I'll birth a child"- or however that one goes it's been a while and I don't recor the exact words hahaha- why can't she come??? Like she can't or does she just doesn't want to?? I mean she's clearly able to send someone, she can make the returners, why not return herself??? I'm thinking that it's bad, maybe you lose part of yourself? I mean Visander didn't seen to loose anything (besides the obvious mental blow and all) so WHYYY can't she return??? The only reasonable explanation is that there's a bigger catch then we imagine

More will be added

#books #book recs #theories #dark heir #dark rise #cs pacat #will kempen #james st clair #sarcean #anharion

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide // part two (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, established friendship, heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of alcohol consumption, feelings of heartbreak, sadness, yelling, arguing, feelings of unrequited love, very brief feelings of abandonment, asshole jake in the beginning. If I missed any lmk!! (Vaguely proof read, excuse any mistakes)

A/N: SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG!!! Due to tumblrs weird limit I have to split up the 2nd part in two so there will be a 3rd part that will be up by the time this one is. I truly have no excuse for the delay other than I wanted this to meet everybody’s expectations and I didn’t know how to properly execute all my ideas for the second part of this little mini series. I thank you all for such kindness and patience regarding landslides part two. Alas, here it is!!

Also: it starts off with more of jakes perspective on the blow out and then will slowly transition into the present time. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part 1

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n”

Jake saw the hope leave your eyes the minute he said it. The sparkle he desperately loved now incredibly dimmed and your hands no longer holding his own, suddenly his confidence on the matter seemed to waver.

Jake always brushed off Josh's advances on getting him to make a move on you, dismissing it as his twins way of meddling and trying to stir the pot. How is he meant to explain the way your lips no longer smiled with your eyes?

Any other person wouldn’t have noticed the sudden hitch of breath for it was so discreet, but of course Jake did. He’s studied your person as if he wanted to become fluent in the language of you, so to say. He’s spent so much time with you over the years all of your habits had become second nature to him. Except there was one thing about you he could never read and you made sure of it.

He still knew you all too well and even if it was for a millisecond he noticed the missed beat in your response, he saw the barely-there glossiness coating his favorite irises and quickly blinked away despite the wide smile still on your face.

The average person would easily be fooled but your entire energy shift was almost spelled out in bold letters in front of him. Jake had started to question if he really was making the right decision.

Since about the 7th grade you had Jake completely enamored, unbeknownst to you. At first it was nothing more than a prepubescent school crush, no more than quiet stolen glances and bad attempts at flirting that had gone unnoticed. When highschool came around he realized girls found him attractive, and like any other teenage boy would do, Jake milked it. He stopped being hyper-focused on you and channeled that energy elsewhere.

You were so adamant on making sure he never got any idea of you seeing him in any romantic light, he genuinely believed it would never happen and realized maybe it was stupid pre-teen boy hormones convincing him he felt more for you than what he did and eventually forgot about his feelings for you all in all.

By the end of junior year your family took a vacation for the summer. You came back for senior year with a different aura to you, you had bloomed beautifully so to say. In simple terms, puberty hit you like a truck. The new effect you had on him scared Jake, he decided it was then easier to have you solely as his friend than trying to decode the rush of dopamine he gets just looking at you. Much like yourself, he denied any and all attraction.

Now as you sat across from him inconspicuously heartbroken, his entire perception shifted. He thought he was crazy when you clutched onto the lapel of his coat so desperately when he held you. His mind went hazy in the moment, almost drunk off the close proximity. He hadn’t thought about you in that light in years. Squashed any attraction into the abyss of his soul never to be thought of again.

Seeing you after the extensive tour, reignited the spark. You threw him off his game, he was so certain he had gotten over you and that Laura was the correct path for him but the way you looked into his eyes made him want to drop everything for you right there.

He continued the conversation nonetheless before the overthinking consumed him whole, he was certain he wasn’t thinking clearly. He relentlessly repeated to himself that you had solely seen him as a friend, there was just no way you were upset he was seeing someone. You were thirsty and dust flew in your eye or something, he made any and all excuses.

Once the conversation had come to a wrap and you hurried your way back inside to process the news. Jake too was in a frenzy, he was so sure of himself and his decision just about an hour ago.

Laura was in theory the perfect match, or so he thought. At first it was a casual hookup while he was on the road and as time went on he had grown to truly like her, he didn’t love her so to say but she definitely made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time and he romanticized her.

He hadn’t so much as thought about another because as much as he wouldn’t like to admit it, the thought of you had made a home within his head. Now that Jake was feeling something other than suppressed feelings for you, he wanted to hold on to that and convinced himself that was his fate.

Now that he sees there is even a slight possibility you do see him that way he feels like he’s fucked any and all chances, but do you? His brain couldn’t crack the code and he began to stress himself out.

On his way inside he ran into Josh.

“Hey did you see where y/n went? She ran off on me” Josh’s eyebrows perked up as his brothers words now privy to your hurried entrance from the patio.

“Ran off? Did you scare her off or something?” Josh joked unaware of the tension still rising in Jake’s shoulders.

“Very funny. No, I just finally told her about Laura.” Jake retaliated.

“Laura? What about Laura?” The eldest twin now confused.

“I made it official with her, I wanted to introduce y/n to her. You know.. have my best friend mingle with my girlfriend?” Josh’s eyes blew wide at the realization you were indeed not okay.

“When? This is the first I’m hearing of this. No offense but I thought it was casual for you guys..” Josh trailed off.

“Well I really like her, Josh. Why are you being so weird about it?” Jake asks, his insecurity on the decision now growing tenfold.

“Not being weird just…sudden is all. Can’t say I’ve seen her” Josh lied as he made his way to see just how much damage was done.

Now his own brother wasn’t even as enthused as he thought he’d be. It's not that Jake seeked validation from others regarding his life decisions but now that the two of the most important people in his life aren’t solidifying it, he’s succumbed to shameful overthinking.

He needed a drink to release some of the tension. Jake reached for the bottle of Jack as his phone buzzed. He poured a glass for himself before picking his phone up.

Message from: Laura

-Omw! See u soon baby.

Jake just shut his phone off and slipped it back in his pocket before taking a generous swig of the amber liquid.

The more he overthought the situation the more he found himself pouring more and more of that Tennessee whiskey into his glass. Eventually his step felt light and his vision incredibly disoriented. He put the bottle away as he realized he’s gotten ahead of himself and the alcohol in fact did not help but drove him to wrack his brain on the matter even more than before.

He saw the short blonde walk in from his peripheral and immediately greeted her.

As he leaned in to kiss her he got a whiff of her insufferably strong perfume, he had gotten so used to smelling yours since you got here that this almost made him nauseous. Even more so now that he’s realized maybe she isn’t what he wants.

“Your lips taste like whiskey sweetheart, drinking without me?” Laura laughed.

“Mmm, maybe a glass or two..pretty little blouse you got on” he slurred wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her in.

“Jake you’ve definitely had more than a glass or two, you’re getting a little excited honey” she giggled

“Just had a few refreshments on an empty stomach is all love..” he replied with his infamous cockney accent.

“I already told you not to do that accent Jakey, it's insufferable” Laura said before laughing it off and stepping away from him to grab a drink.

‘Y/n would have joked back in the same accent with me..' Jake thought to himself.

He quickly rid himself of the thought, why was even he thinking about you? The drunken logic now warping his train of thought, reminding himself that he thought nobody was truly happy for him in the moment.

Surely it was self projection, Jake had a newfound insecurity about his decision and outwardly projected his internalized fears onto both you and Josh. Assuming the reason you guys were so off with him was not because you had feelings for him as he previously thought, but instead it was because you guys were just simply unhappy for him.

Josh wasn’t excited, y/n certainly wasn’t matching his energy. In his mind, it somehow made sense.

Jake's head whipped around as he heard your voice come from the living room. Now was the moment he’s been dreading for the last 20 minutes, best to get it over with now.

“Come on babe, I want you to meet some of my friends” he said grabbing Laura’s hand in his and making his way into the living room as best he could given the liquor was catching up with him all too fast.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” Jake slurred as he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. Laura smiled wide at everyone and bid her hellos to those closest to her before her eyes landed on you.

She viewed you as competition. Much like Jake's past girlfriends, they saw how much he talked about you and more often than not gave him the ultimatum of them or you. No matter how much he swore you were just a really close friends Laura wasn’t buying it and wanted Jake all to herself.

Jake immediately searched for you. The minute his eyes met your own, a rush of warmth coated his chest. A bright smile flashed on his face as he forgot about his past worries momentarily upon seeing you look at him. He naturally gravitated towards you and motioned for Laura to come greet you to which she happily obliged.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one of my best friends since elementary school” He introduces but Laura already knew this so Jakes formality made her itch with annoyance, she didn’t want to hear any more. She knew to be nice anyway because she saw how important you were to him and if she wanted him to stay with her she needed to get you to like her as well.

Your bright smile made her confidence waver as you rose to wrap her in a quick embrace. She internally grimaced at how kind you actually seemed. Of course Jake respected you, you had such a welcoming energy that Laura was beginning to envy. Even she was warming up.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” as much as Laura wanted to be selfish you really did look beautiful. She wasn’t expecting for you to be as nice as everybody had said.

“Thank you, you’re so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you flashed her a smile as your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

Laura wasn’t up for any more of the niceties with you. She had hoped there would be some confirmation to her negative preconceived notion about you, ultimately finding none. The only seemingly respectful way to end the conversation was to excuse herself to the bathroom.

Jake gestured a hand toward the couch behind you for the two of you to take a seat.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you’re happy I’m happy.” You respond with a tight lipped smile, eyes avoiding his as you toy with loose strings on your dress.

Jakes head immediately swarmed with every negative thought he could muster. Your lackluster of a response had somehow been a confirmation to his idea of you not being truly happy for him.

“That's it? That's all you’re gonna say?” He asks a bit harsher than he had intended to. Jake immediately saw your brows slightly furrow and your eyes dim, his immediate regret quickly concealed by the whiskey fueling his fight.

“Well I don’t know what you want me to say…a-are you drunk right now?” You stumble over your words now anxious that this was all heating up faster than it should be.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all?” Jake knew he was being dramatic, in his warped logic it was better to paint you the villain and play victim than to deal with his internalized feelings for you now resurfacing on top of the immense guilt he was already feeling. Foolishly not thinking of the potentially jeopardized friendship at hand.

“I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?”you say lowering your voice, scared others around you might catch wind of whatever this dispute seemed to be.

Jake knew he was being irrational and could no longer come to terms with it, resorting to walking away from it now that he realized he’s causing more damage than good.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” Jake spat.

He harshly grabbed his drink from the corner table, leaving you behind in complete shock. Jake felt guilty the minute he grabbed his drink and left. He never blows up on you and didn’t know what had compelled him to speak to you like that. Sure you guys are mean to each other as a joke every now and again but this felt all too real.

You made your way to collect your things. Sam had been eavesdropping but could only catch Jake's end of the conversation, for you had made it a point to speak quietly. What he didn’t see was you and your teary-eyed escape. Sam however was just as drunk as Jake if not more and just wanted to be entertained with drama.

“Hey man, what happened?” Sam asks, stopping Jake in his tracks.

“Y/n is pissing me off, that’s what. Where’s Laura?” Jake says, eyes distant as he searches the area for the blonde.

"I can see that asshole, that's why I’m asking what happened.” He quips before continuing.

"You guys haven’t fought since like the 9th grade” Sam remarks.

“I’m not in the mood for your smart ass fucking comments Sam.. really fucking not.” Jake says, shaking his head. He takes a sip of his drink and attempts to walk away before Sam stops him once again.

“Dude just tell me what happened, i wanna know.” Sam prods again.

“I can just tell she’s not happy for me. I was excited to tell her about Laura and she just went all….. dry. Fucking got up and left when i confronted her about it."

“She left?? We just got back, there’s no way she would just leave.” Sam questions.

“Yeah. Well, she did.” Jake says, flashing the youngest kiszka a sarcastic smile.

He scoffs before continuing as he slowly starts to rile himself up again.

“…couldn’t even stick around, how immature.” seemingly forgetting your flee was a product of his harsh attitude.

“Thats fucked. If it helps, I’m happy for you dude… weird that she would just leave. Kinda selfish you don’t think?” Sam responds now just drunkenly wanting to instigate.

Sam's words were music to Jake’s ears, his mood instantly lifting hearing someone telling him what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t that nobody was in Jake's corner, in fact you and Josh both were incredibly happy for him no matter what. It was Jake refusing to come to terms with his emotions and essentially self-sabotaging.

However, hearing Sam call you selfish also made Jake's blood boil. To him you were far from selfish. You were giving and handled everything with the utmost humility. You were not only selfless to those close to you but to those you’ve just met. You danced through your life with grace and generosity and to hear someone undermine that, angered him. Yet, you were supposed to be the one he was upset with. The inner turmoil bubbling to the surface, ten fold.

“I mean, Laura aside… we’re her friends. Regardless of however y/n feels towards her she shouldn’t have just left. We’ve been gone for ages, she’s being petty.” Sam continued.

As much as Sam's words were striking a nerve in Jake as his immediate response normally would have been to defend you, right now he didn’t know how to feel.

Jake gave a quiet hum as he turned up with a lack of an answer on the matter.

The more sam starts to formulate his opinions on the only side of the story he’s gotten, the more it starts to genuinely irk him. His brother aside, he deemed you a best friend no less and felt like it was unfair.

“You know what? I’m gonna text her, she could’ve at least stayed for me or Daniel… heck even Josh!” He said waving his hand frantically, grabbing his phone.

“Boom, sent.” Although he didn’t mean for the message to come out so harsh, Sam was also belligerent and could no longer take anything seriously.

In his mind, this would blow over by tomorrow and you guys would laugh it off like always. Being friends so long, tiffs were bound to happen. Except unbeknownst to Sam, you and Jake have years of pent up turmoil you have yet to diffuse and he is only fueling the fire.

Jake sends a message too, but not in Sam’s drunken immature fashion. He had hurt his own feelings so much, the only convenient place he could point the finger at would be you. Opting to shut you out for the first time in over a decade.

Jake couldn’t decide if it was because he was genuinely mad at you or if it was because this whole situation had made his feelings all too real and he couldn’t bear to face them.

don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

——————————————————————

And that was the last you had heard from Jake in about a week.

You had granted him his wish.

Josh and Danny have called a couple times and everything was normal as far as you were concerned. Neither of the boys had made it awkward, you questioned if they even knew about the messages sent to you by Jake and Sam.

When you got home the night of the welcome party you were faced with immediate regret. You wracked your brain all night on where you went wrong and if you should’ve even left.

Was it the forced smiles?

Was it the choked back congratulations?

Had you not concealed your emotions well enough?

Were you being inconsiderate for leaving after waiting so long to see them?

It wasn’t that you were inherently unhappy for Jake, you genuinely wished the best for him. Internally you question if maybe you had been a bit insensitive but the more you wrack your brain on the matter the more everything starts to just not make sense.

Sam texting you made you all the more anxious. Drunken stupor or not he is a close friend of yours and for him to be mad at you, you must’ve offended him in some way as well. But how?

Your brain has gone a mile a minute since then. Your phone seemed to be in a permanent state of do not disturb. You’ve gone to work like normal, caught up with Ronnie before she went back home and you started to feel like things were semi-okay.

You had gotten so used to seeing a message from Jake everyday for the last almost-decade, it's been weird not hearing from him and you inevitably started to miss him. Although missing him only angered you because you were sure he doesn't miss you the same. You didn’t even want to feel sorry for yourself because how foolish of you to think your hot rockstar best friend is gonna be in love with you too?

Your romantic feelings aside, him being able to shut you out so easy honestly broke your heart even more than hearing he was with someone.

Argument aside, after this long of a friendship how could he cut you off that easily? Were you never that important? You would’ve been okay being his friend and forgetting about your feelings for him once and for all, you just didn’t know how to handle the news there and then and everything blew up in your face so fast.

If Jake didn’t want you to reach out, so be it.

You had come to terms with what Josh had reminded you of, you're 27 now and there was no more reason to sacrifice parts of yourself for the sake of making sure someone else is comfortable in your friendship. He is with someone now and you need to move on, the silent pining has grown old.

You thankfully set up a lunch date with Josh today and were grateful you could find a safe haven within the storm invading your mind. It made it easier knowing he knows just as much, if not more, than you on the situation. You had been deflecting that conversation with him but secretly knew he wasn’t going to stop trying until you told him more.

Josh knows something is up. Jake isn’t yapping about you everyday anymore, you haven't been making any plans with Jake since the tour ended. It’s deeper than Jake just catching an attitude with you. You weren’t one to wallow in your room for days when you were upset but you went into a minor hermit mode since then and it's raised a huge red flag for the older twin.

You sprayed some perfume as the final step in your getting ready process. You looked over your outfit in the mirror once more before grabbing your purse. You were going to your favorite cafe in Nash. It had bottomless mimosas for brunch every other week and with everything going on, you needed some casual day drinking with a friend.

You got situated in your car before heading downtown to meet with Josh. About 15 minutes into your drive, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac came up on your shuffle. You were fairly happy today but upon hearing the lyrics again with a different perspective, everything had easily begun to gloom over.

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

You fought the urge to turn it off because it was truly one of your favorite songs but everything reminded you of Jake recently and your sanity was slipping through the cracks. You were instantly brought back to your teenage self helplessly in love with your life-long friend.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’

‘Cause I’ve built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I’m getting older too

You unhesitatingly unplugged your phone from CarPlay. Stevie didn’t get a chance to finish her chorus before the silence in the car had engulfed you.

You fought back tears realizing how real that stupid song made everything. You couldn’t grasp why you were so emotional but you hadn’t realized just how much not talking to Jake had affected you. This change was new for you, life had always been pretty constant especially your friendship with him and you were having a hard time taking things for face value.

You got off the exit heading into town. Finding parking was fairly easy and you picked out a table for two knowing josh was gonna be late.

You took this time to recollect yourself and order a glass.

You waited for about 15 minutes before you saw the curly headed man’s eyes searching the establishment for you. Josh’s wide smile momentarily eased your nerves and you were glad to just spend time with one of your closest friends.

“Only 15 minutes! That’s gotta be a new record” you joked, poking fun at his infamous untimeliness as he found purchase in the seat in front of you.

“What do you mean? I would say I’m early” he feigned a confused expression checking the non-existent watch on his wrist. You couldn’t help but laugh at his nonsense while he waved down the waitress to order himself a glass.

“Bottomless mimosas huh?” Josh continued.

“Yeah, I haven't had a drink since…. well, you know.” you awkwardly laughed to make things light.

"Speaking of which, I didn’t want to ask you about it because i know it's a touchy subj—“

“No. I-i want to. I actually would really appreciate it if we talked about it.” You interrupted. You chose not to elaborate on the fact that the only reason you were in desperate need of talking about it was because you were not as calm about the situation as you had let on.

“Well alright then, lay it on me. Tell me your side, I’ve heard all there is to hear on his side but I refuse to even get into that right now.” He says.

“So he’s still talking about me?” You scoffed before continuing.

“It’s absurd to me that he can be so cold with me yet still bring me up to everyone else. We’re adults. Whatever I did I feel like he should’ve spoken to me about it by now..” you trail off, reaching for your glass.

"I think this may be deeper than the both of you want to accept.” Josh interjects.

“He’s not bringing it up constantly to everybody, but he's my brother so please just trust me on this. It’s deeper for both of you.” He continues.

“What does that even mean? Don’t go all cryptic on me Josh. He’s never spoken to me that way, I don’t know what I could’ve done. Was I really that inconsiderate? I mean if i was, i wanna apologize and talk it out. He’s my friend and I feel terrible that I’ve made it all about me and my feelings.” You rambled chugging the mimosa down.

“Y/n stop, you’re getting in your head again. You handled it well, Jake is just- he's being difficult. Stop blaming yourself, his actions making you feel unwelcome is not something to apologize for.” Josh tried to reason.

“You’re right but I was in the wrong too. I shouldn’t have left. I knew I shouldn’t have. The minute I walked out the door and got to my car I realized I was just overwhelmed with everything. I completely forgot it was a celebration for you guys. I apologized to Ronnie for leaving her in the dust and I wanna do the same for you guys as well, you can refuse all you want but I know in my heart I should have been there for you regardless.” You say trying to hold back the tears. You were almost done with your second glass and the champagne has definitely gotten to your head.

“…and then when him and Sam texted me i just felt awful, so I’m really sorry josh” you continue.

“Wait what?” Josh asks, now with genuine confusion stitched into his eyebrows.

“What?” You ask retreating into yourself, the feeling like you said something you weren’t supposed to had lodged its way in your brain.

“They texted you? What did they say??” He prods.

Jake and Sam hadn’t mentioned a word to Josh about the messages they had sent you. They knew better, they were well aware they were immature for doing so and didn’t want josh’s big brother patronization on top of it all. Jake more so than Sam, Sam didn’t think the argument was that deep and thought you'd take it lightly.

“You didn’t know?” You asked, now matching his bewildered expression.

“Of course not, now I have so many questions. I want you to tell me everything beginning to end. This is absolutely insane to me.” He says waving his hand and sitting back making himself comfortable.

“Okay well, he breaks the news.. I congratulated him and said i was happy for him. I thought i had held myself together pretty well then but I knew i would crack sooner than later so i had to excuse myself. I made a beeline for the bathroom to try and recompose before meeting her and i thought maybe it was the whiskey, you know how he gets on whiskey..” you said making a suggestive eye.

You and the rest of your friends were well aware the amber liquid made Jake easily irritable, to say the least, if consumed in large quantities.

“…but I’ve seen him with one too many whiskey cokes and even then he still would never do that. Anyway, I’m rambling. In short, I greet her, we exchange compliments, everything was fine and then she excuses herself for the bathroom mid-convo and he asks me what I think. I just said she seems like a great girl and I’m happy for him. I mean what the fuck else was I supposed to say? She literally left before I could have a real conversation with her and he just blew up on me saying I wasn’t actually happy for him and I could… and I quote, ‘at least act like I care’” you say with finger air quotes before finishing your glass and starting on your third.

Josh just stares at you for a moment before his jaw drops.

“What the fuck? So where does the text come into play?"

“Right, so once I get to my car and I think about going back inside I get a text from Sam first…saying this” you say before pulling up the messages and showing Josh the screen. His eyes scan over the message for a brief second.

“some friend? He’s one to fucking talk. He was drunk and glued to his friends the entire night, I think he just wanted to instigate. What about jake? I wanna hear what he had to say” you saw josh getting riled up but the reminder of Jake's message brought everything back to reality and the influx of emotions mixed with the alcohol did you no favors.

“…he um, he said not to bother reaching out.” you said voice small, eyes avoiding his own as you shut your phone off not even bothering to open his chat up again.

You saw his energy shift and although Josh is pretty composed and patient around you, you could see that it struck a nerve in him. He knew it was completely ridiculous and Jake was just deflecting and running from his feelings. Josh saw right through everything and the fact that Jake had failed to mention this to him, only angered him more.

“It’s okay.. really. I understand, he was probably excited to share the news and I honestly was acting a bit dry with him. But also what was I supposed to say? ‘hey I’m upset because I’ve been in love with you since senior year of high school but you don’t feel the same way’ like no.. obviously not. It would ruin everything…..I don’t know I'm just conflicted josh.” you say putting your head in your hands for a moment.

The liquor was catching up with you faster than anticipated on an empty stomach.

“Bullshit. Stop making excuses for him, you know its fucked up regardless. He can be upset with you for whatever reason but to completely shut you out like that? No wonder you guys haven’t hashed it out yet. I knew this was running on too long.” He says, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

You just shrugged before taking another sip of your drink.

“Listen, once he's ready he can reach out. But i'm gonna start putting myself first, if he doesn’t wanna talk? Fine by me.” You shrug.

“Let's ditch that topic for now. It's just starting to piss me off more, how is everything for you though?” You ask.

“It’s alright, we’re just getting prepped for some festivals that we have coming up but i'm excited for this down time. Been a while since I could come have lunch dates with my best friend.” Josh said, playfully winking.

“I knowww, i'm so excited you’re back. Jake and i had been talking about—“ you cut yourself off realizing the plans you and Jake had made may now never follow through. You guys had talked endlessly about catching up on all the missed plans and hangouts with everybody but the thought of it only saddened you.

“.. nevermind” you laughed, taking a sip of your glass in an attempt to ease the tension.

Josh gave you a sympathetic smile before changing the subject and continuing conversation as normal.

—————————————————————

Before you realized it, three hours had passed and it was already the late afternoon. You were seven mimosas deep and there was no shot at you driving yourself home.

“Josh? I think im a little drunk” you giggled leaning your head on your hands.

“Can I Venmo you for brunch?” You question.

“You think? That thousand yard stare is a dead give away. Don’t worry about it, i got it mama”

“Awww you're paying for me? That is just so nice” you tease pressing a hand to your chest. Josh laughs at your drunken candor.

“Shut up and give me your keys, I'm driving you home after I pay this bill. Finish the glass you have now and we’re going” he laughs trying not to entertain your drunken behavior.

“Hey… i'll shut up when i want to” you mumbled to yourself before handing your keys to him.

“You only had half a mimosa you weirdo” you joke as you both gather your things, some more efficiently than others.

“I saw how fast you were going through those, someone had to be sober to drive you home. You’re a lightweight.” He said with a pointed look.

"…touché’’ you say, squinting your eyes at him playfully.

Josh opens his car door for you and you try and climb up in his Jeep as gracefully as you could. The minute he shuts the door you realize you're a lot drunker than what you thought you were. You don’t drink often and certainly not to cope with heavy emotions but it honestly felt quite nice to feel the weight lift off your shoulders momentarily.

Josh hops in and starts his car up, your head was spinning and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, I just think it's silly I let myself get so drunk from mimosas..my head is literally spinning” which somehow made you laugh harder.

A genuine cackle had bubbled out of your chest as happy tears pooled at the corner of your eyes and Josh was happy to hear it.

You’d been blue since the fallout and even if it was just a case of the drunken giggles, seeing your happiness shine during the golden hour of the day only made his heart warm.

“Okay i just laughed so hard it made my head hurt…” you said calming down and rubbing at your temples.

“Whewww sorry, that gave me a good giggle” you said laughing again. You have a bad habit of rambling and it's only worse when you're drunk. You can talk about any and everything under the sun and Josh was mentally preparing himself for the word vomit, to which it never came. Instead he was hit with a sudden mood swing.

“You know… this is really stupid” you say, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

“I shouldn’t miss him so much josh..” you open your eyes as it only made the spins worse and looked down fumbling with your hands.

Josh stayed quiet allowing you to get everything out, the minute you weren’t spewing nonsense at him gave him a clue that this was hurting you more than you let on.

You don’t know where it had all come from but everything was suddenly incredibly sentimental and you were fighting back the urge to cry. You knew it was just the champagne talking, but was it? Or did it just make you feel what you’ve been suppressing all week?

You sniffled which immediately alerted josh.

“You were just laughing.. what happened?” Josh laughed at your sudden mood switch. You couldn’t help but laugh too at the randomness.

“Ugh I don’t know man” you cry-laughed wiping the tears

“… do you wanna talk about it?” He said trying not to pry but still wanted to let you know he was here to listen.

“not really, i haven't fully processed it and I don’t wanna talk about it until all my ducks are in a row” you chuckled before dozing off for the remainder of the drive.

“You’ve kept your feelings a secret for a long time little one, just making sure youre okay.”

”I'm feeling…exquisite” you slurred.

Josh just gave a slight hum before chuckling and turning down the radio a bit to let you get shut eye.

———————————————————————

You stirred awake as Josh lightly shook you.

“We’re at your house, wake up” he said.

You gathered your purse and shoes before hopping out of his truck and stumbling your way inside. Your keys were nowhere to be found in your bag and you frustratingly turned around at the eldest kiszka.

“Where are my keys? I want these jeans off of me already” you said tucking the hair that fell in your face behind your ear.

“Hold your horses little one, I have them because someone’s belligerent.” Josh said, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I’m too drunk to drive, not enough to where I can’t unlock my own door” you said matter-of-factly.

“Yea yea, whatever here you go” he said, dangling the keys in front of you.

“What am i gonna do about my car” you whined as you barely made it past your home's threshold. You plopped down on your couch face down, all the movement was starting to make you nauseous.

“Woah..i feel like i'm getting drunker by the minute, i thought i'd sober up by now” you said sitting up from your position and rubbing at your temples.

“Here, i got you some water. I'll take you tomorrow morning to pick it up.. sound good?” You nodded as Josh handed you the bottle. You uncapped the lid and took a few sips. You hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day except for one piece of complimentary bread and seven and a half mimosas…

Josh was surprised you were still able to stand yourself up given how much of a lightweight you are. You had gotten so wrapped up in conversation with him you completely forgot to order food.

“I'll be right back” you hear him disappear into the kitchen as you sink back into your couch.

Your head was spinning. It was almost humorous. Like the thought of Jake had been swarming your thoughts and now ironically manifested in a physical sense.

You missed him even though your pride didn’t want to let you admit it. It wasn’t even about him being with Laura anymore. You were content and happy with him as a friend. Time heals all wounds and you were bound to get over the silly heartbreak but having none of Jake at all was almost tortuous.

Your head shot up as you heard a ping sound from your phone.

“Is it jake?” You perked up.

Josh’s eyes saddened at the thought of you expecting a message from him. You both know how stubborn Jake can get and the fact you still have hope just made him more upset with his brother. He picked up the phone checking the screen realizing it was just one of your friends from work.

“No, sorry…. just Liz.” he said sympathetically, handing you your phone.

“Oh.. okay” you said, trying your best to not make it seem like you were disappointed.

"I’m gonna go change and try to make some food, you're welcome to stay Joshy. Help yourself” you said gesturing to the kitchen as you made your way to your bedroom.

“I already made you a sandwich. It’s in the kitchen on a plate for you. I told some friends I’d join them. Are you gonna be okay?” He says as you turn around to face him.

“Ugh traitor, I’ll be fine i guesss. Thanks for the food” you joked as you gave him a hug goodbye. You heard a chuckle bubble from his chest.

“I'll call you in the morning, answer and be ready” josh says, pointing a stern finger at you as he makes his way to your front door.

“I will! Love you long time” you gave him a tight lipped smile as he opened the door to make his way out.

“Love you!” You heard him shout before the sound of the door shutting had echoed through your home.

You stumbled back towards your bedroom and popped a couple Advils before making your way to your closet to change into comfier clothes. You didn’t bother taking off your makeup just yet and decided to leave your hair down, you didn’t have the energy to bother with it.

Your stomach rumbling only grew stronger as you were mentally occupied with the absence of your life-long friend. You knew you should go and eat but you had busied yourself with the incessant thoughts of that one night.

Deciding you needed a momentary distraction from the thoughts that had occupied your brain all week, your stomach growls at you from the thought of Josh’s sandwich.

‘Even if he’s mad at me I should still apologize, be the bigger person' you think to yourself as you turn the corner to your kitchen.

Sober you knows better and is too stubborn to cave in first, but drunk you is only occupied with the chest-burning thought of how much you love him and wanting this to be resolved as quickly as possible.

You look at the plate and see Josh made the sandwich Jake usually makes you. Your eyes tear up and your throat burns at the thought.

On one hand it was so sweet of Josh to bring you some comfort given the sudden change but it was also not the same because it wasn’t coming from who you selfishly wanted it to. You take a bite as the tears fall silently.

No expression on your face, just a dead stare as you eat and the tears quietly slip from your ducts.

You hadn’t allowed yourself to truly feel all week. You had occupied yourself with mundane tasks at home and work was a big help with distracting yourself.

Anything to not be focused on where things went wrong.

Now that you had gotten ahead of yourself with the mimosas, everything you had bottled up was starting to spill over the edge and your composure slowly slipping through the cracks.

You poured yourself a final drink for the night, opting for a sweet red wine to take the edge off. There was only a little more than a glass left in your wine bottle, no better time than today to finish it rather than right before you have to start going back to work. You had the entire weekend to recover from the inevitable hangover bound to plague you in the morning.

You made your way into the living room and over to your record player. You sifted through your shelf of vinyls before settling on CSN&Y’s ‘So Far’. You let it play for a little as you burned an incense and nursed your final glass of your favorite wine.

You hear the familiar chords of Helplessly Hoping begin to play and coincidentally all the wine had rushed to your blood. You were considerably drunk and this was very unlike you. You decided to not even finish the glass, you felt guilty almost. Like you were unhealthily coping. Your vision became disoriented and everything felt hazy.

Happy wine drunk is one thing but being sad wine drunk did you no favors, especially given the song traveling throughout your home. The only thing finding purchase in your clouded mind was Jake and Jake only.

You mindlessly picked up your phone, opening up your last conversation with him. You longingly stared at his contact picture of the both of you. It was an old photo Karen had sent you of when you guys were about 11 at their annual 4th of July barbecue.

“Come on kids, get in the dang picture!” Karen tried to reason with the 5 of you but you guys were too occupied with the fact that Sam wasn't giving the ball back.

As Karen tried rounding up Josh Sam and Ronnie for the picture, you pulled Jake aside and convinced him to get in the picture for his mom. Karen noticed the two of you ready and decided to snap one of just the two of you.

“Aww how sweet, the two of you together..” she said pointing her camera at the two of you.

“Come on mom just take the picture” Jake whined ready to get back to his game with his brothers.

“Fine fine, i'll get all five of you later… scooch in closer Jacob” She said gesturing with her hand.

“What, like this?” Jake remarks, laughing as he aggressively squishes his face against your own. You laugh at his sarcasm, as does he. Karen snapped the picture of your two wide smiles smooshed together in your red white and blue attire.

You smiled at the memory and without a second thought you clicked the call button as the memory had clouded all logic. All you wanted in the moment was to talk to your best friend again.

You heard it ring once, then twice, then declined.

A sob escaped past your lips as you heard his automated voice message saying he’ll call back, ironic given he probably won’t.

You left a message regardless. Liquid courage or not, at least you did your part.

“Hey Jake, im probably gonna regret this in the morning” you sadly laughed. You let out a big sigh before continuing.

“..but it's been over a week, we’ve never gone that long without talking.. I didn’t think I’d lose you entirely” you paused for a moment as you were getting tongue-tied and your voice was slowly giving up as you fought back tears.

“I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know a-and I can’t just do that" you slurred as you plopped down on the couch.

“Anyway… take all the time you need. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..” you said trailing off.

“Just call me back i guess…o-or maybe don—“ you were cut off by the teleprompter letting you know the message was too long and you angrily pressed the hang up button before laying down and drifting off on your couch.

The spins were becoming overbearing and you didn’t want to think about how mad you were gonna be at yourself in the morning.

————————————————————

Jake saw your call.

He saw the notification saying you had left a voicemail.

He couldn’t bring himself to pick up or even listen to what you had to say. He feared that if he heard your voice after so long he’d crack.

He was being prideful.

He regretted everything he said for it was completely out of character for him and the whiskey is no excuse. He knew it was a bad idea the minute he finished his first glass. His emotions were heightened and Jake's entire perception of his reality had shifted within 15 minutes. He couldn’t process everything and blew up on you.

"I thought you said you stopped talking to her baby?” Laura questioned as she sat next to him on the bed.

“I did.” Jake sighed.

“So.. why did I just see you decline her call? Why is she even calling you?” She chided.

“Hey, calm down. I genuinely don’t know, I'm just as confused as you are." He replied pulling her into his side.

“I already told you how I feel about her. I don’t think she’s good for you. She’s clearly not happy for us.. for you, jakey” Jake internally winced at your childhood nickname for him coming out of her mouth, he hated when people called him that unless it was you that was referring to him.

“She was being a bitch to me at the party, you saw.” She remarked, lying to make sure she got what she wanted.

“Wait, how? She ended up leaving..” Jake pulled back from her now confused.

“Oh. Well maybe you weren’t there but she just said something about how I wasn’t welcome within the circle” she blurted. Laura couldn’t come up with a good enough lie to paint you as the villain.

“That doesn’t sound like y/n, I mean I’ve seen her strongly dislike people and she still would never exclude anybody. She doesn’t like confrontation..” Jake said now even more perplexed.

“Are you defending her right now?” Laura sat up defensive.

“N-no im just saying it’s not like her to say th—"

“Stop making excuses for her! She clearly isn't happy for you Jake! Her whole kindness thing is some lame act to get people to like her. She’s just some boring plain Jane that wants you to herself. Why can’t you get that through your head?!” She continued.

Laura’s facade now slowly melting away, something sparked in Jake.

He hated when people spoke ill of you, especially when people undermine you no matter if he was upset with you or not.

There was so much more to you than the surface showed.

You weren’t boring, you certainly would never go out of your way to make someone feel unwelcome. You were kind to a fault but still had a crazy fire that burned within you, unlike others you kept your flame contained. You were incredibly emotionally mature and it was silly for Jake to ever think you could be unhappy for him.

“Get out.”

“W-what?” Laura says shocked.

“I don’t want to argue with you on this, no matter what she and I are going through, she's been a close friend of my family since fucking elementary school and I think it's incredibly distasteful that you feel so comfortable bad mouthing her when you barely know her. Doesn’t matter what i feel, she’s still Josh’s friend, Sam’s, Danny’s.. my fucking parents” Jake said counting off on his fingers.

He didn’t know what had overcome him but he realized how big of a mistake he made thinking Laura was the one. How easy it was for her to speak ill of someone that was practically family to his own just showed Laura’s true character.

He stared at her gobsmacked expression for a moment before driving in the last dagger to seal it all.

“Matter of fact, I think this was a mistake.” He finishes getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.

“You’re seriously gonna break up with me over some girl? You even said yourself that she doesn’t care and you’re defending her?”

“Oh for fucks sake i was mad and drunk, i was just pissing myself off and pointed the finger at her. It was wrong of me, yes, but also none of your fucking business. I will reap what I sow on my own and I will certainly not have you speak ill of her because of my wrong doings.” Jake says as she stands up and collects her things.

“Fucking pathetic.” She spits pushing past him and fleeing down the stairs.

Jake hears the door slam shut.

What the fuck?

Jake starts to wonder if he dodged a bullet, the way she reacted to you being brought up just seemed so odd. Like the thought of you triggered her and Jake didn’t like that.

He held you close in his heart, as did his family, and he expects people to treat you with the same respect. Then again, how respectful has he been? Hearing Laura speak about you and try to lie about you just made him feel so guilty.

He couldn’t just man up and accept the fact that he loves you, he feels he's ruined everything.

His head perks up remembering you called him. He rushed downstairs to lock his door and immediately came back up to pick up his phone staring at the missed call from ‘Sunshine’.

Jake hesitantly tapped the play button on the voicemail putting it on speaker. Upon hearing your voice his wall broke. You made him weak in the knees. He listened for a little longer realizing you were drunk.

Is she alone?

Is she okay?

Why is she drunk?

He silently cursed himself for even going this long without talking to you. The only reason he was semi-okay in your absence was because josh and Danny would bring you up occasionally so he at least knew you were safe.

Jake was now even more pissed at himself for even letting things get this far between you guys.

‘I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know..'

Jakes ears started ringing, hearing you say he means something to you made his love for you just buzz even stronger within him.

He fucked up.

Aside from his romantic feelings, you were his best friend and he couldn’t believe he just shut you out.

He could hear the hurt in your voice and regretted everything he said. Even if he was getting in his head that wasn't your responsibility and he shouldn’t have pointed the finger at you just to make himself feel temporarily better.

’…I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..'

Jake couldn’t listen any further, the sound of your voice cracking during your apology saddened him. You had nothing to apologize for and he hated that he made you feel like you did. He needed to make things right.

He immediately called back and upon receiving no answer, he panicked. Every bad possibility was running through his head a mile a minute. He didn’t hesitate to throw on a shirt and grab his keys.

Jake had never rushed to your house so fast in his life. It was like a grand awakening for him. He vowed to do right by you and ultimately failed you. Hearing you so upset over his absence completely broke him.

Jake was having a hard time collecting his thoughts over this. Deep down he knew Laura was just a distraction from his feelings for you and instead of accepting the fact that he only had eyes for you, he villainized you.

Somehow having a reason to be angry with you only made it easier to shy away from the head high he gets just being around you. Your scent, the way your expression softens upon his gaze without fail, the way your hair perfectly frames your face, how you smile with your eyes and your nose scrunches when you laugh.

He was foolish to not realize these aren’t just things he notices you do, these are things that made him fall in love with you and he had been so incredibly ignorant to not realize earlier.

He pulled into your driveway and almost forgot to turn off his car from how much of a hurry he was to get to you. Jake wasted no time banging on the door.

You were startled from your slumber from the loud knocking coming from your front door, you stood up too fast and your vision went hazy. You completely forgot about your day drinking and the wine glass that had sent you over the edge until you almost lost your balance.

“Hold on! I'm coming!!” You shouted assuming it was Josh coming back to bother you. The incessant knocking never ceased until you stumbled over and swung the door open.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you were face to face with the man who had left you in the dark for almost two weeks.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said softly, staring as his chest heaved up and down.

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Part 3

Taglist:

@takenbythemadness @jjwasneverhere @gvfvanfleet @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @vanfleeter @m0uthfl13s @sparrowofrhiannon @love-isnt-greed @mohralistic @sinarainbows @gretnabancheese @kiszkaaa @napcoinv @citydovebaby @musicspeaks @dont-go-home-without-me @iheartjakekiszka @notjordie-gvf @fallen-from-venus @sydneeelyse @journeytothecenterofattenti-blog @starcatcher-jake @gretavankleep37 @starshine-gvf @violetstarcatcher @wildbluesorbit @imleavingyoufornewyork @dennys-employee @lizzys-sunflower @jessicafg03 @gretavansstuff @heckingfrick @thechurchofgvf-admin @fkfearandliveyourlegend @kiszkas-canvas @chlop94 @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfpal @whollyfree @gvfvanfleet @anythingforjtk @elkenenvy @gvfmarge @texas-bbq-pringles @iamasimpandnotproud

#gvf fic #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf smut #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka #greta van fleet imagine #gvf angst #greta van angst #jake kiszka fic #jake kiskza smut #Danny Wagner smut #Sam kiskza #jake kiszka landslide

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

#femboy #transitioning #trans #transgender #mtf #cross dressing

[savethegrishaverse]

Here is the Transcript to the Questions Answered by Eric Heisserer!

Recently, we were very fortunate that Shadow and Bone showrunner Eric Heisserer agreed to answer some fan questions! Below is the transcript of the screenshots that have been previously shared—not an entirely new interview. The transcript in this format should be much more accessible and convenient, particularly for anyone using a screen reader.

To make it easier to read through Eric’s responses, we’ve nested his answers below coordinating questions.

Okay, taking these one at a time -- because some of these will have very long answers, and I may have to return at later intervals to answer them: (note: questions will be in bold)

"I'd like to know if there's a way to liberate the pre-written scripts if Netflix doesn't plan on using them" - Asked by Christian Thalmann, the creator of the Fjerdan language.

"There is a way to liberate the Crows scripts from Netflix, yes, and in fact that would be part of the buyout for another streamer when acquiring the rights to Leigh's novels. It would be a package deal."

"In my view, "The Crows" have the potential to revitalize the Grishaverse. Unlike "Shadow And Bone," this new show could rely less on elaborate visual effects and offer a fresh narrative angle. Heist-themed shows are currently in high demand, adding to its appeal. Am I mistaken in thinking that our focus should primarily be on "The Crows"? The likelihood of "Shadow And Bone" returning seems slim, but l've always believed that "The Crows" had a greater chance of success." - asked by fellow fan Joleen

The focus on the Crows is helpful in two ways -- first, those scripts are written, which lets us get a running start at production, and second, just from casual analysis of book sales, it's far more popular worldwide than other Grishaverse titles. So it will be a bigger draw for viewers.

The trap though is the cost. It's more grounded than S&B, sure, but the Ice Court is a unique location that either requires a really costly set build, or set extensions and VFX work to make it look authentic, which means nearly every shot of the heist once our crew gets there could be a VFX shot.

My guess is the budget would be on par with S2 of S&B.

"If/when the spinoff is back (finger crossed) was there anything he had planned that would completely surprised, for good reasons obviously, the audience. And we should hold our breath for that twist/turn?" - asked by fellow fan Rti

​​Yes, there is a surprise or two in the Crows spinoff season, but overall it's as close to the novel as we could make it. And Leigh's novel is such an amazing story with natural cliffhangers that work as episode "out" moments, etc. I think the biggest move we made was to feature every single Crow's backstory to go with their episode. So that was fun/sad/exciting.

"What was the difficulties you mentioned about filming Season 2 in that Reddit comment? Don't want to sound negative but what went wrong?!" - asked by fellow fan Mitra

S2 kept throwing challenges at us, and it started long before we got to production. Like months earlier, when we learned the location we used for the Little Palace in S1 was closed to us due to the pandemic. So right there we lost out on a ton of S&S scenes, because it wouldn't be a match. But we also had written a compelling side arc for Ivan and Fedyor in S2, these two Grisha trapped on either side of the civil war. Each of them played a big role in the story, but Simon (Ivan) had a feature film that overlapped with our schedule and couldn't move, which meant we lost him. So Daegan worked to revise the season keeping Fedyor and leaving Ivan as most likely dead from the end of S1. He was Kirigan's right-hand man for the season. But poor Julian caught COVID just when we were to shoot out most of his scenes, and after trying to make the schedule work, we had to come to the brutal truth that there wasn't a way to keep Fedyor in the story. Our only option was to bring him in at like episode 8, which would've been too little, too late.

COVID continued to be a monster all through production, requiring us to juggle schedules and miss out on days, and it was madness for the cast, who had to pivot with almost no notice whenever someone was ill and quarantined. This isn't unique to our show of course -- it happened with everyone. It's just a challenge.

Beyond that, we had been given the go to write a special standalone story, The Demon in the Wood. This would have been released on its own around Christmas, like a BBC special but for Netflix, and would help bridge seasons 1 and 2 by showing a little of what Kirigan was doing before we see him in 52, and also provide more character context, etc. Christina Strain wrote that and did great work adapting Leigh's short story. But it never went the distance.

There was a lot more to 52 as well, scenes and side stories and little interactions that were lost due to budget or time restrictions. Again, not unique to our show, but agonizing all the same, since what you get is not what we had written, or in some cases even shot.

I'm incredibly proud of the cast and the team, and Daegan did the heaviest lifting while I was off finishing the Crows writing room. But we had a lot more thrown at us.

"How long was the sizzle reel ready to go but he had to keep it secret?" - Asked by members of the Discord Team

That sizzle reel was put together about four months before the second season dropped.

"I would love to know his perspective on the impact of streaming on storytelling. Would we have had to launch a campaign like this 10-15 years ago for a show like this? What are the main pain points when it comes to streaming models & telling unique, diverse stories?" - asked by fellow fan Acorn_Bri

Streaming is a challenge to serialized storytelling in that it looks at 'content often with a different agenda and uses metrics that can take a creative issue and exacerbate it. Like in broadcast, if viewership and thus ad revenue has slightly declined, the show will need to find a way to make their 22 or 13 episodes on a proportionally smaller budget. What is not done is reduce episode order. But if a streaming series underperforms or doesn't meet expectations, and the streamer doesn't cancel it outright, the go-to budget reduction idea is to reduce episode order for the next season.

When you just have 8 episodes and continue to deal with notes to compress, pace up, or omit for what you'd scripted for a longer season, reducing further to six or four episodes is exhausting.

This happens due to a slide in autonomy from what the showrunner position had been. What the chatter on the picket lines revealed to us is that most showrunners today don't get to see their own show's budget, and thus don't get the freedom to make budgetary decisions that could better protect the story they're telling. More and more, showrunners not at a legacy network aren't the final say or at times even involved in hiring key roles. I don't have any ideas that aren't already in a contract language, I just see how the job on this side has gotten harder and there isn't much of a way for us to make it easier for each other like we could with having writers on set or in post production, because the streaming model has made that impossible.

—

Once again, we would like to give a big thank you to everyone who asked their questions, and an even BIGGER thank you to Eric Heisserer for answering them!

#grishaverse #six of crows #shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone #sab #netflix #six of crows fandom #soc #saveshadowandbone #soc and ck #grishaverse news #the grisha series #the grisha trilogy #grisha netflix #shadow and bone fandom #shadow and bone netflix #netflix series #netflix shows #eric heisserer #fandom #netflix news #grishaverse fandom #save six of crows #save shadow and bone #renew shadow and bone #greenlight six of crows #no mourners no funerals #third army

[joongernaut]

I.O.U

⇢ pairing(s): school secretary!ten x school administrator!reader x dean!taeyong

⇢ genres: SMUT, light humor, barely-there-plot, enemies-to-enemies that fuck, coworkers-to-coworkers that fuck (i just made that up LMFAO)

⇢ warnings: threesome (F/M/M), switch!ten, sub!taeyong, unprotected sex, light hair pulling/choking, vouyerism, degradation, creampie

⇢ word count: 8056

⇢ author note: first fic posted on here after that very long hiatus... woo! 🫰🏾 this was made 2-3 months ago as a secret santa gift for a friend and she gave me permission to post it! i'm kinda happy with how it came out and that she loved it so i hope y'all like it too ❤️

✧

Winter break. It’s all everyone had been looking forward to as the season changed from that windy, cool atmosphere to the more frigid cold with the beginning of snowfall starting to blanket the city.

Students and teachers alike had wished for nothing more than for the days to go by faster, relieving them of the stress of work and end-of-year assignments and tests if even for a brief couple of weeks. Now that the time had finally come, everybody was giddy and ready to head home for the holidays to spend some much needed time away from all of the chaos ensuing due to the year starting to come to a close.

Today was the last day for high schoolers before their break officially started and it was now an hour since classes had been dismissed. The only people left on campus were mostly teachers and staff, with the occasional student here and there for last minute discussions or for some after-school activity that would inevitably be cut short so everyone could get home as soon as possible.

You were part of the administration staff and your time and attention had been split today. You floated frantically from different classes to help monitor the students, dropped off files for some of the teachers here and there, and eventually ended up at your desk finishing up your own personal work on the computer, completely drained because of the previous back to back tasks. It wasn't any easier any other day having to deal with rowdy, prepubescent teenagers (or the occasional pretentious adult) but you seemed more tense than anything today.

And that tension only seemed to grow as your eyes skimmed over the text on the computer screen in front of you for the fourth time.

“Are you serious?” You muttered low to yourself, standing hunched over your desk as you re-read the email again addressed from the dean. Something about a stupid ass staff ‘get-together’ he had planned a few days from now, very clearly just a replacement word for ‘meeting’. And to make things even worse the word ‘MANDATORY’ had been highlighted in bold letters emphasizing that the people that received it were not going to be able to back out of it.

‘Why me though?’ You thought in exasperation, pinching the bridge of your nose causing your glasses to shift up on your face as you let out a heavy sigh. This was in no way how you wanted to spend even a portion of your winter break. What could possibly be so important that they had to come back to the school in the middle of holidays to attend, especially a day before christmas?

“So, you got that email, too.” A voice came suddenly from behind and you jumped, nearly springing yourself backwards right into the body (the firm chest, to be exact) of said voice. Ten let out an amused chuckle as you shot him a glare from over your shoulder.

“Don't you have some business to mind? More specifically Dean Lee’s?” You hissed through nearly clenched teeth, straightening yourself up as you turned to face him. His somewhat lax demeanor would've put you at ease if it weren't for the fact that he absolutely pisses you off just being near you.

“Oh, I’ve finished up my work already,” He responded at once, taking interest in picking under his nail and inspecting the cuticles rather than looking at you, “And you? Looks like you might be spending your break doing even more mundane work than usual. Although, I guess that's to be expected from our resident busy bee and little ass kisser. Tragic.” He pouted with faux sympathy, your glare only intensifying towards him.

This has always been the dynamic between you two. From the very first day you started working there when Ten had introduced himself casually then proceeded to question whether you were ‘dressed to go to church or something’ right after as he looked you up and down like you were something at the bottom of his shoe, it's been a constant back and forth of snide comments.

How you survive in a room with him, his own desk being a few feet away from you located near the back of the shared space and conveniently next to Dean Lee’s private room, you never understood.

“What's this party even for, Chittaphon? Why is this shit even mandatory? I thought he wanted all of us to enjoy our breaks…” You questioned him, figuring that since he is essentially the man’s right hand that he would know the answer.

“Well, if you really wanna know so bad…” Ten leaned forward and you took an instinctive step back only to bump right into your desk as he caged you against it with one arm out by your side. He was too close, even more so when he leaned down close to your ear to whisper into it. “Show up and find out.”

You should've known better than to ask Ten for anything. Of course he would give you a hard time just because he knew he could. “Not like I have much of a choice.” You groaned, shoving at his shoulder to get him out of your personal space. He barely moved from the action but took a step back as he rolled his eyes. “It’s one day out of the break and it's not like you have anything better to do,” He scoffed, folding his arms over his chest, “Also, you're not the only one that has to suffer, you know. Almost all of us have to be there, too.”

You let out a faint gasp and he arched his eyebrow. “Wait, you’re gonna be there, too? Oh god, this just got so much fucking worse.” You whined to yourself while running a hand down your face, immediately feeling the heat of his stare once the comment left your mouth. You mentally pat yourself on the back for it as he finally walked off (not without saying something under his breath) and left you alone, a minor victory of getting under his skin.

You spent another hour and a half finishing up some documents and clearing your desk, packing up for the day before locking the room up and heading out. You’re glad, at the very least, that you weren't the last staff member to get out of the building. You also successfully avoided bumping into Ten again with the last encounter only slightly souring your mood until you remember getting the last word, the thought making you smile to yourself childishly.

It’s evening now and just like how the weather was this morning, it’s absolutely freezing outside. You tug your coat tighter against yourself as you sling the strap of your bag over your shoulder, fighting against the harsh wind as you make your way to your car. Walking across the parking lot as you slowly approach the designated staff member parking spaces, you notice a figure standing by their own car directly next to yours. And as you get closer, they become even more recognizable.

“Ah, Y/N, you’re finally done for today I see.” Taeyong says with a friendly smile, and you shoot him a polite one back. “Dean Lee,” You acknowledge with a nod, “Why yes I am. I was just getting ready to head home.” You added, clutching your car keys a bit and making them jingle.

Taeyong shook his head with a laugh, a huff of warm air coming out as a small cloud in the cold. “Y/N, it's been years. You know you can call me Taeyong, right? I don’t mind.” He says it so easily as if you’ve been his close friend this whole time.

You didn't mean to always be so formal with him but he was your boss after all. Standing around the same height with a lean, muscular frame and a strong, handsome face with looks that could kill, you had to admit that being around the man was a bit intimidating.

Anyone would be with how attractive he was while also holding all of the authority over everyone in the school. He never gave you the vibe that he was a power hungry asshole and you wouldn't normally judge a book by its cover but in this case (with how little you knew about him despite your few years of working under him) you couldn't help yourself.

“Right, sorry… Taeyong.” You reply to him with a nervous chuckle, his name rolling off of your tongue hesitantly despite his reassurance. He lets out another laugh at your slight awkwardness and you can't help but think how sexy it sounds.

Before he can say anything else though, you decide to ask the question that has been plaguing your mind since earlier, “Hey, about that meet—I mean the staff get-together… I was wondering what that would be about? Since it’s mandatory, I would presume it’s something important.” You decided to ask it safely rather than the accusatory ‘What the hell are we doing having a meeting between our supposed winter break’.

Taeyong mulls your words over for a few seconds, eyebrows slightly furrowed before giving you an unreadable expression. It’s neither a smile nor a frown but it makes you shift on your feet nonetheless. “I can’t go over the details unfortunately but I guarantee you it is important. You especially need to be there. So… see you then?” He says before bidding you farewell, hopping into his car before cranking it up and driving off leaving you puzzled.

‘You especially need to be there.’

What the fuck did that even mean? The words repeated over and over in your head even as you got into your own car and headed home, more stressed out than you were before the short conversation. You guessed you’d get your answer on that soon, a few days from now to be more specific. Whether you felt like you were gonna be prepared for that answer or not, you weren't sure.

✧

You spent the first couple of days of the break spending time with your family and friends or at home getting into the holiday spirit with a christmas movie and a glass of wine to fill the time or doing some last minute shopping online for yourself. Last night you had finally decided on what you wanted to wear to the staff party, leaving it out for today so you can get dressed quickly.

The email specifically asked for staff members to get a little dressed up for the occasion and you hoped you didn't overdo it or underdress. You don't meet up with a lot of your coworkers after school hours so having them see you outside of the normal business casual look is a bit daunting. Not that you care about how they see you but you did want to look your best.

Really, if it weren't so damn cold, you would've worn a nice little cocktail dress to turn a few heads but you decided warmth was the better choice to achieve especially with the temperature dropping as the sun sets and the moon rose higher in the night sky.

You wore black, thick tights with a cream colored oversized v-neck sweater, heeled black boots, a long brown coat with a plaid thick scarf around your neck. Accentuating the look with a pair of gold earrings and a gold necklace, you had given yourself a quick once over in your rear view mirror and applied a fair amount of lip gloss before exiting out of your parked car and approaching the school’s front entrance.

After getting buzzed in by security, briefly greeting Johnny and Kun as they directed you toward the auditorium with a gesture, you made your way down the hall with your heels clicking against the tiled floor.

The halls were a little too quiet for a place that was supposedly having a party and you double-checked the calendar on your phone to make sure you didn't get the date mixed up. That couldn't have been the case though since security was on campus and seemingly on standby.

You shook the feeling off as you continued around the corner, greeted by the double doors of the auditorium decorated in gold and silver streamers just a few feet away. ‘Let’s get this shit over with.’ You hyped yourself up, mentally preparing for whatever greeted you on the other side as you pushed the doors open and stepped inside.

It was mostly dark at first, nearly as silent as when you were walking through the halls just a moment ago which only added on to the eeriness. “Uh… Hello?” You called out loud and clear, hesitantly taking a step forward. Immediately the room lit up with more lighting from overhead, almost blinding with how bright it was and you let out a startled yelp as a chorus of cheering and clapping started to sound throughout the space.

With your eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, you look around to see the room filled with a lot of your coworkers as they beam at you while your body froze in place. There were balloons and confetti scattered in the air and on the auditorium floor, a sign hanging up across the room reading ‘Congratulations!’ in glittery text. Right under the sign, your eyes trail down and you see Taeyong standing under it with a big smile of his own as he gestures for you to come up towards him. You're still very confused, and very much in shock, but your feet somehow carry you to him with a mind of their own.

Now standing next to him, with Ten standing off to the side of him as well with his hands clasped behind his back and an unreadable expression on his face, your mouth finally decides to work again as you face Taeyong. “I’m not sure I’m understanding any of this right now… what are we celebrating exactly?” You asked him curiously as he gently shoved a glass flute into your hand to take. Assuming by the color and the fizz, it had to be champagne or something rather expensive. “Your promotion, Y/N.” Taeyong answered with a soft pat to your shoulder as your jaw went slack.

“My? Me? I’m being promoted?” You questioned in disbelief and Taeyong chuckled. “Yes, you. That's what all of this was for. Sorry I had to keep it a secret but surprise!” He replied, taking a small sip of his glass as more cheering came from the rest of the staff members and you let the words sink in. You weren't expecting this at all, let alone a whole party being thrown in your honor.

Despite your constant complaints throughout the years of working at the school, to say you put your blood sweat and tears into this would be an understatement. So, finally finally getting some kind of recognition felt overwhelmingly good. So overwhelming that you could feel your throat tighten up as your eyes slightly stung with the formation of tears.

“I don't know what to say,” You started with a smile growing on your face, swallowing the small lump in your throat before continuing, “I’m just really grateful for this opportunity, to be able to do what I’ve grown to love. Thank you so much.” You said with a shy nod of your head towards Taeyong.

“You deserve it for all of your dedication. And no need to thank me, I'm happy Ten brought it to my attention so I could easily set this in motion for you. Again, congrats!” Taeyong said before walking off to mingle with the other staff members leaving you with another surprising detail. With him out of the way, you were now facing Ten who seemed to be looking in any direction but your own. Before you could speak up however, he fully turned away and started walking off towards the double doors.

You were going to call out to him, stepping in his direction to follow, but you were immediately stopped by coworker after coworker offering their congratulations and attempting to make small talk. Trying to be polite, you turned to face each of them to personally thank them while giving short, polite responses.

Hearing the sound of the double doors snapping shut, you looked up from the faces surrounding you and saw the one you needed to see the most right now disappear. The answer you had been looking for may have come out in an unexpected way but now, with the knowledge that you had currently, you had another question you needed an answer to.

✧

Finally slipping out from the auditorium (assuring the others you just needed some fresh air and weren't just trying to sneak out of the celebration) you started making your way to the place you could only assume Ten would be located at.

You reached the room of your shared space in haste, noticing the door already slightly ajar as you carefully pushed it open.

Your assumption had been correct.

Sitting atop his desk, a flask of alcohol in hand and in mid-swig, Ten immediately darted his eyes towards you as you stepped into the room and shut the door behind yourself.

“Coward. Why’d you run away like that?” You huffed out in irritation, making your way across the room to him with your hands on your hips. He stayed silent for a moment, his Adam's apple bobbing as he took a few gulps out of the flask before letting out a sigh of annoyance.

“I knew you’d ask stupid questions.” He answered with a shrug and you scoffed loudly. Unbelievable.

“That's a lame ass excuse but that's the least questionable thing about all of this,” You take a few steps closer to him until you're nearly standing between his legs, “You talked to Taeyong about me which, in turn, got me a promotion rather than somehow getting me fired… Why? Better yet, how did that happen?”

Ten took another long swig from the flask before capping it and setting it down beside him on the desk, hopping down from his spot to now stand close in front of you. “Does it fucking matter? I made it happen and now you're getting what you wanted. You should be thanking me, really.” He said condescendingly and you will yourself to not break the intense eye contact.

“I didn't force you to talk to Taeyong or tell him whatever the hell you told him. You did that yourself, of your own accord. It’s almost like you secretly like me or something.” You retorted, noting the clench of his jaw as his mouth formed a thin line. You couldn't help but smirk, clearly striking a nerve.

“Oh my god, that's it isn't it? You don't hate me, you actually like me! All this time, all the comments and insults were just a way of you coping with your little crush on me.” You rattled on with an incredulous look, smirk only growing bigger as Ten stood silently with his jaw clenching. There was nothing that filled you up with satisfaction more than angering the king of bitchiness and ‘nonchalance’ himself.

So, you kept going.

“What are we in, elementary school? Have you not been taught that that's the weakest way to try and pick up girls?” You shook your head in disapproval, not noticing the step he has took forward, “Really, I knew you were capable of stooping this low for attention but this is just fucking pathet-”

Your words were cut off before you could continue and you made a sound of surprise as Ten gripped the back of your neck and crushed his mouth against yours harshly.

Yet another turn of events the night had brought to you that you didn't see coming.

Ten was kissing you. Or rather, he had his lips against yours as you stood there shocked for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. But what came as even more of a shock was the way your body (once your mind finally caught up to what was happening) responded by pressing up against his frame as your lips pressed into his harder.

You were kissing Ten back. You were kissing him back and you were enjoying it because fuck was there so much sexual tension between the two of you. You knew it was there, you always felt it, and you weren't blind to how good-looking Ten looked all the time. Coming to work in his collard shirts with the buttons unfastened to show a peek of the smooth bare skin on his chest, the peek of his tattoos you would catch a glimpse of when his cuffs were slightly rolled up, the way his jeans would hug him in all the right places.

And Ten had felt all of that tension, too. It was like a chord snapping inside of him in that moment as he listened to you run your mouth before deciding that he had enough. To him, this was the best possible way to get you to shut the fuck up.

Once he realized you weren't immediately backing away in disgust and even seemed to want more with how urgently you kissed him back, he decided to indulge himself. Biting and pulling at your plump bottom lip until it was tender, licking along the seam before finding his way into your mouth and mapping out the inside with his tongue. He tasted like the alcohol he had just consumed when you first stepped into the room, a slightly strong liquor taste you were sure you’d probably gag from drinking by itself but on Ten’s tongue you couldn't get enough.

He pulled back finally, allowing yourselves to breathe as he dropped his head against the junction of your shoulder and neck and trailed his lips along the skin making you shiver. “Must not hate me that much if you're letting me kiss you like that.” Ten mumbled, his other hand moving to the back of your knee as he hoisted your leg up over his hip. He stumbled back until he was pressed up against his desk, dragging you along with him. He continued to do so as he sat down on top of it again and brought you into his lap to straddle his waist.

You inhaled sharply at what you felt between his legs in the new position, subconsciously rolling your hips and earning a low groan from the man at the friction. “Yeah, no fucking way. You want this just as badly as I do.” He hissed out, his hands gripping even harder to keep you firmly against him as he pushed his hips upward to match your motions.

Even with the thick layer of your tights and the rough texture of his blue jeans, you could feel how hard he was starting to get as the outline of his dick began to fill out with every movement.

“Fuck, wait, are we-” You tense up at a particularly hard roll, “Are we really doing this here?” The question came out as a breathy moan when he bit down at your neck. Ten’s hands creeped up under your sweater to grab ahold of your waist tightly, the skin there erupting in goosebumps at his cold hands. The question left unanswered as he continued to bite and suck along your throat surely enough to leave a good mark or two with the intensity of the action.

Carding your fingers through the hair at the back of his head, you gripped tightly before tugging and pulled his head back away from your neck. A noise of protest came from his throat as he relented and you took in the hazy, half-lidded look in his eyes as his bottom lip caught between his teeth. A look of pure sinfulness as you forced him to look into your eyes.

“Ten.” You had hoped for his name to come out of your mouth as a warning, a threat even, to get him to answer. Instead, it came out as a near whine full of neediness and the corner of his lip quirked up in a smirk. “Y/N,” He purred back with a lick of his lips, “Don’t be a coward. Don't run away from me now when I’m so ready to be under you like this.”

You hated him. You hated how his words made your thighs close together instinctively, only to be obscured by Ten’s body between your legs. You hated how warm you felt, body temperature increasing with the heat starting to pool in your lower stomach just from those words slipping out his kiss-swollen lips. And boy did he have a way with words.

You couldn't help yourself, though, as the little voice of reason nagged at the back of your mind.

“This is a school, Ten–”

“We're on break.” He pointed out, thumbs rubbing circles into your hip bones firmly.

You sighed heavily, slinking more into his hold. That was true but…

“I know that–”

“Nobody’s here in this room right now except us.”

“We could still get caught–”

“Maybe. If we do, though, it’s your fault. You’re the one wasting time by talking when I could easily be fucking you by now.”

Also true. You wanted this so badly, you really didn't have the brain capacity to think logically at all. It’s not like you’ve never had a quickie before and although not all of them ended in satisfactory for both parties involved (unfortunately) you just really wanted to feel Ten inside of you if even for just a quick fuck.

If you really wanted this to happen right here and right now, you’d have to hurry.

“Stop making sense.” You muttered, scooting back a bit in his lap to reach down between your bodies. Your fingers fumbled with the button of his jeans and the zipper, his intense stare not helping in the slightest as you clumsily unbuttoned and unzipped him. He leaned back and lifted his hips slightly to give you more space as you tugged them down enough along with his boxer briefs, a curse leaving his lips once his dick sprang free and smacked against his lower stomach. “Then stop talking and fuck me.”

You could confirm now that everything about the man under you was pretty. Even his dick. Not too thick but definitely impressive in length. Trimmed, one shade lighter than the rest of his body, and currently shaded pink at the tip where precum had started to bead.

In the position you currently were in, it was rather awkward as you wrapped a hand around his length. Ten didn't seem to mind it though as the contact made his hips buck up into the ring of your fist, a small moan escaping him.

Ten’s hands that were situated at your hips had taken to supporting his weight briefly as he leaned back a little bit more before he brought one hand up to push the front of your sweater up. Just enough so he could find the waistband of your leggings, attempting to tug the material down with one finger hooked inside. It was hard and it didn't go down much before it stopped at your mid thigh but he didn't need them completely off yet. You flinched at the feeling of his fingers trailing your thigh, up to your hip bone, teasingly past your belly button until he slid lower to fully cup your panty-covered pussy.

Through the dampened lace material, he rubbed at your outer lips and ghosted along your clit with practiced ease. Like he had done this before with you, as if it were muscle memory, like he knew your body well already. That had to be true to an extent as you rolled your hips, grinding against his fingers every time he applied enough pressure to elicit a moan out of you.

They grew more once he hooked his finger into the center of the material, pulling the lace away enough to expose your hole, and proceeded to ease his middle and ring finger in without much of a warning. He figured you were wet enough with the way you were making the palm of his hand so slick with your juices. He nearly growled at being proven right.

“Thought I’d help stretch you out a little but I see there’s no need for that.” Ten rasped, sitting up so you were chest to chest as he pushed his fingers in to the knuckles and your grip around his dick tightened just a hair. It was enough to notice though and Ten curled his fingers inside of you as retaliation, the rough pads of the tips of his fingers brushing briefly against that spongy spot hidden deep inside of you.

Your whole body trembled when he did it once more before you quickly abandoned his length in favor of tugging at his hair again, a little harsher.

“W-We really don't have time. Come on…” You pant breathlessly, flexing your walls around his digits for emphasis and earning a strained curse from his lips. “So eager. That’s cute.” Ten taunted, the usual banter coming out more teasing than ever. He can't contain himself any longer either though with how his dick throbs and aches for some type of release so he eased his fingers out of you before tugging your leggings further down.

It's a brief struggle as you try and help him wiggle them down and off of you while still hovering over his lap but the second you kick the article of clothing from around your ankle, Ten grabs you by your ass and pulls you flush up against him.

“Don’t have a condom on me... Is that okay?” He questioned with an arch of his eyebrow. You think for a split second until you feel him grab ahold of his dick and brush the tip along your folds, your brain turning into mush when it snags on the entrance. “It’s fine! Please, just…” You replied with an impatient roll of your hips, sinking the head just a bit more inside of you.

This is all the permission Ten needed before he used his hands to spread your cheeks apart as he lowered you further onto his dick and the stretch of it made you lean your torso forward until your face buried into his shoulder with a muffled whine.

“Fuck,” He shifted a bit, allowing you to adjust as he wrapped an arm around your waist while keeping you spread open with one hand, “You’re really gripping me.”

He was all the way inside of you now and you felt everything as you clenched around him. You still can't believe this is happening with Ten of all people, but the throbbing you feel makes the situation that much more real. And usually you’re a stickler for wearing condoms but the thought of taking Ten raw had you throwing caution to wind. Actually getting to feel him without any barrier now felt too good.

“Is this a reward? I got you a little promotion and you give me this?” Ten asked rhetorically with a sickly sweet tone, gripping at your ass hard to make your body rise up a bit before pulling you back down onto him. “I would've been a lot nicer before.” He added, nipping and tonguing at whatever he could reach on your neck while helping you glide along his dick at a leisurely pace.

“B-Bullshit!” You half-heartedly sneered as you let yourself sink down all the way, swiveling your hips in an almost slow grind. “I think being a mean bitch is in your blood. Especially to me.” You said as you started to pick up speed, grinding harder with him deep inside of you as the fingers you carded through his hair gripped tightly making him tense up.

Ten’s eyes rolled back for a second before a large grin broke out on his face. “Oh, baby, I thought you liked me mean,” He purred low, rolling his hips upward in a languid manner as he allowed you to take most of the control, “Isn't that what got you this wet?” He questioned, his fingers that helped spread you open brushing along where the two of you were connected making you both moan out loud.

He winced as you gripped his hair somehow harder than before sending a tingle through his scalp and his spine. His breath hitched when your free hand came up to wrap around his throat giving it a gentle yet firm squeeze.

“You like it mean, too. I bet you got hard after every argument and got yourself off just dreaming of doing something like this.” You retorted shakily but your movements got braver, the grinding turning into you fully bouncing in Ten’s lap with the faint sound of skin slapping against skin filling the empty room now.

“Y-Yeah, yeah, yes,” Ten’s voice came out strained as his own thrusts started becoming more vigorous, “Fuck, it turns me on. Made me want to bend you over the desk and fill you up.” He nearly gasped when your pussy clenched around him tightly in response, bouncing even harder in his lap while the pressure around his neck and the grip on his scalp persisted. “I’ll cum in you r-right now if you let me.” He rushed out, almost whining as you faltered with a whine of your own.

You really shouldn’t. You know you shouldn't. You were already fucking him without a condom and, although you were on birth control, this was still risky as hell.

And yet your brain couldn't be more clouded than it was now, the faint desperate ‘please’ slipping out of Ten’s mouth egging you on to ride him faster as you leaned over towards his ear to whisper into it. “I dare you.”

Ten let out a string of profanities as he pulled you slightly up in his lap by your hips, halfway pulled out, before fucking up into you at a speed that left your mouth hanging open. You felt his dick starting to pulse inside of you as he pounded up relentlessly.

The sounds inside of the room were nothing short of pornographic, heavy breathing and moaning coming from the both of you. You had half a mind to remember your surroundings as well as your combined volume of noise.

That was until you heard a faint, audible creak, the all too familiar sound of the room’s door, making the two of you abruptly stop.

You shot Ten a look to make sure you weren't the only one that heard it and you realized his eyes were already looking over your shoulder with narrowed slits.

The proper response to the possibility of you being caught having sex with your coworker in your workplace (even if there were no students in the building) would’ve been to scramble off the desk out of the compromising position and attempt to get some clothes on. Maybe even hide if you hadn't been caught yet and hopefully save yourself the embarrassment.

But Ten’s grip tightened around your waist before you could even think of slipping him out, keeping your body in place. “Come in. Right now.” He said out loud, the words clearly not directed to you. You gawked at him for a second and then craned your neck to the side to look over your shoulder.

For a moment, you thought maybe the door creaking had just been a figment of your imagination and no one was actually there. But after a few more seconds the door creaked open a sliver, allowing the eavesdropper to slip in before shutting the door behind them with a ‘click’.

“How long have you been listening?” Ten accused, his tone laced with something that would've made you shiver if it weren't for your body sitting still in complete surprise at who your eyes had landed on, now on this side of the door.

Taeyong wrung his hands together, the rings on his fingers shifting with the nervous movement as his eyes diverted to everywhere else in the room but the position you and Ten were in on top of the desk. “I’m sorry,” He muttered, “I didn't think… I-I just came to come look for you two and I–” He shook his head. “Sorry.”

You made another attempt to get up and Ten pinched your thigh, causing you to yelp. This made Taeyong glance over and your eyes locked for a second before he looked away with a flustered look on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You whispered in a hiss at Ten as he smoothed over your skin with his thumb. “Are you trying to get us fired?” The question came out and you realized how silly it sounded. Why wouldn't you get fired? You were literally caught fucking by your boss during your promotion celebration, one you hadn't even been able to celebrate for more than 2 hours at that.

This was an unemployment speed run. Better yet, a speed run for an arrest.

“We’re not getting fired.” Ten said matter-of-factly as he tried not to roll his eyes. As if you were the one being unreasonable right now. “Isn't that right, Taeyong?” He called out to him over your shoulder in a sickeningly sweet voice.

“Of course not…” Taeyong replied and Ten smirked up at your bewildered face. “See? He just wanted to watch, that's all.” He reassured you. Like being watched by your boss while you got fucked was something normal. “You two… do this often or something?” You asked, the pieces of this confusing puzzle slowly falling into place and giving you some type of clarity.

“Not often. Not too many people get to see that side of him,” Ten answered thoughtfully before giving your sides a squeeze, “Enough talking, though. You wanna keep going or did the little pervert ruin it?” He asked and you shot a look over your shoulder at Taeyong again, taking in his timid appearance. This was different from how you normally saw the man, intimidating in appearance and usually keeping a calm demeanor.

You’d be lying if you said it didn't interest and spike something within you.

“Is he gonna join?” You asked, starting to roll your hips slowly as Ten grunted and squeezed at your sides harder. “If you want him to, he can.” He answered, nails starting to dig into your soft flesh. You rested your forehead against his shoulder with a sigh, nodding in agreement before Ten directed his attention to Taeyong. “Hey, pervert, come here.”

Taeyong flinched at the name, the flush on his face deepening from being called out. Nonetheless, he slowly made his way across the room until he stood a little distance from the scene in front of him. Ten shot him a glare and his body stiffened.

“Thanks to your interruption, we didn't get to finish. So, I think a little punishment is needed, Hm?” Ten hummed, hands running up and down your thighs as you lightly trembled at the sensation. “Take it out.” He ordered and the next thing you could hear was the sound of a belt unfastening and the rustling of pants. You heard Taeyong groan softly and you clenched around Ten at the noise.

“Now jerk yourself off and try not to cum on yourself while you watch. Don’t stop until I’m done filling her up like how I was supposed to be doing. Got it?” Ten instructed, starting to lean back onto the desk again as he began grinding into you.

Taeyong whimpered in response but he must've gave Ten a nod of his head in understanding because he started up his pace from before, gradually fucking up into your pussy with more energy.

Your eyes found Taeyong’s again, wanting to watch the man with peak curiosity as you rode Ten. His dick was more flushed than his face, an angry reddened color on the tip as he stroked himself to full hardness. He had barely started and he already looked dazed and fucked out of his mind, it made you start to bounce on Ten’s dick faster.

“Getting off to this too?” Ten teased and you bit down on your lip hard as he delivered a slap onto one of your ass cheeks. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn't expecting this to happen. I’m glad you’re into it, though.” He said, another slap coming down onto your other cheek making you moan.

A whine could be heard from Taeyong and you gave him an intense look, his hand stuttering in its movement. “Don’t tell me you're gonna cum already?” You asked mockingly and the hand around his dick stopped briefly to squeeze at the base.

“I’m trying.” He sounds breathless when he responds back, a little pathetic if you’re being honest. It only makes you want to see him crumble more.

“Try harder. Or you're not gonna cum at all.” You threatened, feeling braver with every passing minute. You really don't know what's possessing you. Maybe it's the little position of power you seemed to have fallen into that makes you say, “Why don't you come over here and help?”

And he doesn't hesitate. Taeyong immediately comes up behind you, pressing his chest to your back and essentially pinning his erection between your bodies. His hand snakes around to the front of your body where you and Ten are still connected and he gathers enough slick before rubbing circles onto your clit.

It’s like a chain reaction once his fingers press down onto your sensitive bud. You feel like the air has been punched out of you as your walls contract around Ten in a vice grip, in turn causing him to thrust into you harder and faster. You feel the coil in the lower part of your stomach wound up tightly as you were approaching your release.

“Fuck, I’m close.” Ten groaned out with furrowed eyebrows, likely teetering right on the edge of his own release as he desperately chased it. He finally tipped over when you wrapped your hand around his throat and tightened, a chorus of curses and moans and ‘just like that’ spilling from his lips as he came deep inside of you.

Feeling the warmth pooling into you paired with the fingers still rubbing at your clit and the hard length pressed between your ass, subtly grinding into it, it was only a matter of time before the coil in you snapped. Your walls spasmed around Ten as you cried out and followed him in releasing, the glide becoming wetter as you fucked yourself through your orgasm.

Both of your bodies trembled from slight overstimulation and once you both started coming down from your highs and stopped your movements completely, you lifted yourself to slip him out of you and felt the first trickle of Ten’s cum dribble out of your pussy.

Taeyong stopped grinding against you and held the base of his dick again so he wouldn't cum on himself but you promptly grabbed at his wrist on his free hand to bring him closer. Ten watched and let out a scoff. “How nice. Looks like you're getting a reward now.”

Blinking profusely, Taeyong looked between your body then up at your face and then at Ten’s. “I-I… Please. Can I?” He questioned in a strained, pleading voice and you simply tugged on his wrist again until he prodded at your entrance with his tip.

“Make it quick.”

✧

It’s a bit awkward.

No. It’s very fucking awkward now.

It had been an hour or so after that happened and the three of you went back to the auditorium as if absolutely nothing happened.

You didn't say much as you got yourself together nor when you made it back to continue the party. You half expected them to act as if that whole thing didn't happen and just never talk about it again. Maybe you were hoping that's what would happen if that would save you from the awkwardness you felt.

But it seemed like tonight was just not gonna go how you expected to at all.

You can't help but shift on both feet as you and Ten wait outside of the school’s parking lot for Taeyong. Once he concluded the celebration and everyone started heading out to leave, he caught you before you could sneak away and asked to talk once everyone had left. A sense of dread crawled up your spine and made a home within your chest as you started to think about the worst possible outcomes.

“You look like you're about to piss yourself.” Ten snickered, hand stuffed into his coat pockets casually. If looks could kill, you would be sure to take him out quickly with the glare you gave him. “He already said you're not getting fired. Stop worrying.” He pointed out as he shook some of the hair falling into his eyes’ view.

That was easier said than done, you were sure you would pass out from overthinking if the man didn't hurry up and say what he needed to say.

And as if speaking him into existence, Taeyong exited out the front door entrance before making his way through the parking lot to where you and Ten had stood waiting.

He gave a silent nod in greeting and you nodded back, unsure of what the fuck to do, while Ten just stared emotionlessly. “Look,” Taeyong sighed, his voice calm and even and nothing like the submissive whiny man who was wrapped around your finger just a few hours ago, “You can never do that here at the school again. Ever.” He said firmly, eyes shifting between the two of you.

“We.” Ten corrected, smirking smugly when Taeyong is unable to retort back and begins stuttering as his face reddens. You decide to cut in before Ten says anything else. “You’re right. We won't do that again here, I promise. We’re really sorry.” You said quickly with a tight smile. Ten opened his mouth to say something but you jabbed him in the rib with your elbow making him wince.

“Yeah, sure,” He said through gritted teeth, rubbing at his side with a huff, “So, does that mean we can do this again outside of the school?” Ten asked, earning a look from both you and Taeyong. One look of shock and the other something akin to murderous.

“That’s not what he meant at all-”

“-Would you be okay with that?”

…Huh?

You looked over at Taeyong with a tilt of your head. “You want to do this again?” You asked him, not entirely convinced you heard him correctly. But he looked away with a deepening blush that reached his ears only confirming what you had heard. “I’m not opposed to it… I’m pretty sure we all enjoyed what we did. We just can’t do that here.” He said, stressing the last part again.

It made sense, he still was your boss at the end of the day and it was pretty risky to do it where you could've easily gotten walked in on. And you weren't too keen on getting yourself in trouble after only just getting promoted. “Alright… We can talk more about this after Christmas?” You questioned, being met with immediate agreement.

You exchanged numbers to keep in touch, something you couldn't help but chuckle at since this would be the first time having any of these men’s numbers after all these years, before Taeyong headed off towards his car to leave first.

“God, I’m really two for two. A promotion and dick. You kinda owe me.” Ten giggled, walking alongside you as he walked you to your car. A little act of kindness you couldn't help but find cute despite the shit coming out of his mouth. He moved out of the way before your elbow could connect with his ribs again, cursing at him as you let a little smile grace your features.

How this new dynamic would play out between the three of you, you would have to just wait and see how things would turn out. But just like Christmas and the New Year approaching, you couldn't help but anticipate.

#taeyong x reader #lee taeyong x reader #ten lee x reader #ten x reader #nct fics #wayv fics #nct 127 fics #nct reader insert #taeyong smut #ten lee smut #nct smut #wayv smut

[azrielsshadows42]

Trespasser, Azriel x oc

This is my first fic ever on any platform, so pls be nice and I'm sorry if it sucks. Also, I haven't actually read the ACOTAR series yet, I really want to but... shit's expensive ya'll T-T, so if any details are incorrect I sincerely apologize (I know he could have winnowed but, for the story we're gonna pretend he can't)

Description: Azriel is coming home from a mission and is a little careless with his flying and crashes, while getting back home, he comes across someone who is unlike anyone he has ever seen.

Warnings: swearing, very very slight mention of injury, reader has she/her pronouns, eventual use of y/n, the smallest amount of suggestiveness it barely even counts and mystery maybe? idk

italics = thoughts Bold = actions/sound effects Both= plant speak, it will make sense, just wait

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Azriel had been on this mission for a few days now, he couldn't wait to get back home and have dinner with his family. He was exhausted, his wings dragging, and all he wanted was to collapse in his bed, but alas, he still had to make the long flight home, back to Velaris.

Knowing that the longer he waited, the longer it would be until he gets to see his family, he picked up his wings and started making the long flight to the Townhouse.

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You had had a relatively normal day, if you could call what you do in a day normal. Your life consisted of flying through the treetops, making sure that the animals and vegetation were healthy. Your job was to keep the cycle of forest life running smoothly, or well the life of this particular forest, although you did sometimes go out and help with the forests under your siblings care when they wanted to go galavanting about disguised as the locals.

You had never under stood there fascination, I mean sure, you understood wanting some company that wasn't your family from time to time, and life as a forest deity was quite a lonely one, being that technically, the fae and mortals of the land were not supposed to be aware of your existence (hence the need to be disguised) . But you failed to see what was so amazing about them, it's not that you didn't like them or had a problem with them, it just.... didn't appeal to you. And so to this day you had never, in your 750 years of life spoken to, or formally interacted with another person outside your siblings.

That was until today of course...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Azriel's POV

'Just a little bit further, almost there' I thought nearing the greenery that surrounded Velaris.

'I can't wait for some warm food, and a real bed... and to think of it a proper shower couldn't hurt either-' My thought track was interrupted by a sharp pain along my wing, as it hit a particularly tall tree I hadn't noticed, subsequently, my whole body was thrown violently off course, and hurtled towards the ground hitting it, hard.

'Well fuck... that hurt' Groaning, I slowly got up and looked around, I wasn't too far from home, I recognized the trees around me, I could walk the rest of the way, though flying would be easier... not likely though, the tree canopy is to dense for me to break through, even the part where I fell seemed impossibly dense. sigh. 'Walking it is then.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Your POV

You had been idly walking around when a shiver went up your spine and then you heard a commotion from far away.

Crack! Snap! Thump!

You mentally asked the plants what was going on but they were all unusually quiet. 'Strange, they normally rush to tell me the smallest of things' you thought. Naturally you had to go and investigate the disturbance yourself. Quickly traversing the forest you called home, you made your way to whatever had made the noise and was very surprised in your findings. Hidden in the leaves you watched from afar. An Illryian, I haven't seen one in centuries.

He flew to close to the trees, nicked his wing. He fell. He crashed. The plants added in the same hushed whisper they always spoke to you in. You almost wanted to roll your eyes because now they wanted to tell you? When you could very much see that for yourself? you could see the slight dent where he had landed and the small scrape on his large black membranous wing, very different from your own. You also couldn't help but notice how beautiful this male was, dark hair, flawless skin, black ink-like markings creeping up the side of his neck, and he seemed to be shrouded in shadows despite the fact that the sun hadn't even started to set. 'He must be the shadowsinger'

You continued to silently admire him as he looked to be gathering his bearings, trying to determine exactly which way he should go to get to.... wherever he was going. The town house, you presumed. He turned to face your direction, revealing his absolutely stunning hazel eyes. Well you hadn't talked to any fae, you had seen them in passing, and had flown over the city once or twice, but none of the fae you had seen were quite as stunning as he was, though if there were more of them that held even a fraction of the beauty he did... well... then you finally understood your siblings appeal for wondering to the places they did.

You couldn't seem to pull your eyes from him, completely enamoured with this spectacular male, clad in black fighting leathers that enhanced his muscular figure. You definitely weren't complaining about the view. You knew you should be careful about how you approached the situation seeing as he donned seven siphons, but you just couldn't get over how pretty his eyes were! His deep, amazing, wonderful eyes that were...

Staring. Right. At you.

Not past, not behind, not in your general direction. At. You.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT You fled immediately. It would be alright, logically you knew that. You don't live this long and never get spotted by anyone, you and your siblings have all been seen at least three times each, unintentionally. That's how stories of spirits started, sightings of you and your siblings (especially certain brothers who loved to prank people and make them think the forest they tend to is haunted *cough cough* Ethari). But that didn't mean you would willingly let this male, no matter how beautiful, see anymore of you then he already had.

You silently moved through the trees, expertly navigating any looping vines or low hanging branches, not even looking back to see if he had followed until you reached your favourite spot. A sort of clearing that ran against a large stream, dimly reflecting the stars that have started to appear, where you could properly spread your wings without hitting anything, yet the branches reached out unnaturally far over the area so that anyone flying above would be oblivious to anything that happened below. (Which you may or may not have had anything to do with)

Once you felt that you were far enough, you stopped and asked the plants if he had followed you.

He attempted to, but has lost sight. He is now returning home. No damage done. Safe. You breathed in and out silently, still feeling like any noise would alert him of your location. Calmly strolling to the edge of the water, you gracefully sat down on the lush grass, flowers slowly growing around you as you fed them some of your own energy to help them grow faster. Small flowers of bright yellow, soft blue, and fierce red all made subtle appearances. And you thought of the gorgeous male you wish you could have talked to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Azriel's POV

Looking around, trying to find out exactly which direction home is, I couldn't help but get the feeling that I was being watched. My shadows had yet to leave my side, still checking for further injury. Once sure that there was nothing other than the small scrape on my left wing, they started to look for the source of this feeling.

I looked around and almost dismissed it entirely until my shadows notified me of a presence in the trees. I looked to where they told me to. But, no one was there, briefly wondering if they've been mistaken until my eyes locked with another pair.

They were a dazzling light green, like the leaves around them but darkened around the edges. I couldn't move, couldn't blink, I couldn't breath they were so gorgeous. It seems that whoever this was had been equally as stuck until suddenly, they were gone.

I ran after them, but they were so fast and I hadn't seen anything but their eyes, I had no idea what to look for. Eventually I stopped, and listened, choosing to track them by sound rather then sight, which I realized very soon that had been a mistake because they were as silent as I am. But apparently I need not worry, my shadows keeping up just fine.

I crept along the path my shadows guided me upon, until I saw a clearing, and in it, the person I'd been chasing...

And she was absolutely beautiful... No beautiful didn't cut it, radiant, luminous, ethereal, angelic, nothing seemed to describe her quite right. Getting a proper look at her, I could see why she was so hard to track, she blended in so perfectly with her surroundings, like she was made for this place, like this is where she belonged.

She had large wings in every shade of green, flowing from dark to light seamlessly, that looked like over lapping leaves, and a smaller pair just like the first ones, beneath them. She had a smooth tail hovering just above the ground, moving in slow, elegant sweeps, back and forth with dull spines running along it, adorned with yet another leaf at the tip. She also had small horns that looked akin to the bark on the trees around us, and unblemished brown skin. Her dark brunette, waist-length hair in a neat braid swaying with a light breeze. The energy and power she held emanated from her, in waves, it was... soothing.

My eyes couldn't stray from her figure as she sat down without a sound, her wings relaxed at her sides and her tail curled around her form perfectly. Who is this female? What is she? And, most importantly, is she a threat to the court? Despite my instincts telling me to be wary of her, despite not knowing what she is capable of, if she is or isn't dangerous, I just couldn't help but get a just a little bit closer to her.

SNAP!

Fuck Seriously?, years of spy training and centuries of experience only to be caught because I stepped on a twig, such a fucking cliché.

Her head whipped around and she stood up, our eyes met again. Instead of running away like I thought she would, we just kinda, stared at each other. She eventually broke eye contact and looked off to the side muttering something that sounded like "Went home my ass" before looking back to me.

I looked at her in silence for a moment longer before the logical part of my brain caught up with the rest of me, I stood up straighter, brought my wings in closer and narrowed my eyes.

"Who are you and what are you doing in Velaris?" She raised a thin eyebrow "What am I doing in Velaris?" She ignored my first question instead choosing only to repeat the second as if she couldn't believe I had the audacity to ask her that. I narrowed my eyes further, a strong grip on Truth-Teller. "Yes" I hissed "You are not allowed to be in Velaris unless you are a citizen or have explicit permission, you're trespassing" "I'm trespassing?" She laughed, and ignoring the shiver that amazing sound sent down my spine, she laughed at me. No one laughs at me.

Before I could say something back to her she said "Honey, I am no trespasser, if anything, you're the one who's trespassing" "How am I trespassing?" This is ridicules, I'm the spymaster of the night court, who in the name of the Mother does she think she is? "You are in my forest" She said casually. "Your forest?!" I scoffed. She narrowed her eyes "Yes, my forest" "This forest belongs to the high lord; Rhysand" I stated "The high lord may be the ruler of this land, but he is not the owner" "Who are you" I asked again, more sternly this time. Her eyes studied me for a moment before she said "My name is y/n, and I am the deity who tends to this forest"

"What in the cauldron does that mean?" "It means, that I am responsible for keeping the forest healthy, making sure there is no over or under population of any species, treating the plants when they get sick, I make sure the forest stays strong" I regarded her skeptically before letting my grip on Truth-Teller loosen and my wings relax a little, something about her made me want to trust her, it scared me but, I also couldn't ignore it. "Alright, if you're a deity, then prove it" "What?" "Prove it" She looked at me like I had just said the most bizarre thing she had ever heard in her life. "You want me to prove to you, that I'm a deity" "Yes" I said matter-of-factly, she laughed softly to herself and lightly shook her head as if she couldn't believe that this situation was happening, before finally locking eyes with me once again. She wore a warm smile, a light shining in her eyes with the smallest shimmer of mischief breaking through.

"Alright, I'll prove it" She sunk down to her knees and my mind flickered for a second, to a place it really shouldn't, her tail lay lightly on the grass below, just the tip slightly burying itself into the soft dirt, she brought her wings around her splaying them out on the ground so the edges were also shallowly submerged in the ground. Y/n closed her eyes.

Then I could see a small green light where her heart would be, it grew larger and brighter, soon, a ring of light pulsed from her heart, and another, and another until the rings came in sync with every one of her heart beats. It was magical, it felt like the whole forest, every plant and animal, even the very air, was breathing with her. I realized that even my breathing now matched hers, and everything around us just felt more alive. I was mesmerized.

She stood up slowly with the grace that surely only a deity could posses and opened her eyes, they glowed slightly in the late evening light. "Believe me now?" she asked with amusement at my wide eyes lacing her voice. Even when she's mocking me her voice still sounds like the best music that has ever blessed this world.

I wasn't able to get a word out, I just nodded. Her smile grew and the amount of pride that filled my chest for being the cause of that smile was unfathomable. She languidly walked closer, her eyes never leaving mine. "You know" she started "I'm not technically allowed to show you what I just did, so you'll have to keep this a secret between us" " Not allowed to?" I questioned "I thought you said you were a deity, doesn't that mean you make the rules?"

She tilted her head downward, and smiled, it almost looked... sad. Something in my chest did not like that thought, not at all. "You would think that, but even the most divine beings have rules to follow, the 1st, or well, the 2nd one is that no one is supposed to know of our existence" my eyebrows furrowed at that. 'Why is it required for such a beautiful person to be hidden from the world' "Why?" She looked down to the ground and said in a voice barely above a whisper "Its just the way it is" I could see the topic displeased her and so decided to change it.

"Are there any other deities?" She smiled, a true smile this time "Yes, my siblings, we each tend to a different aspect of nature some tend to oceans, marshes, cities, although I'm closest with the other forest deities" While she was speaking, a brach bent down between us, low enough to sit on. Y/n moved to sit on the branch and silently motioned for me to join her. "Tell me about them" I asked

We sat there, on that branch for over 2 hours, just talking about everything and anything, her family, what it was like to be a deity, the similarities between her and her plants and my shadows, how they both talked to us, knew us better than anyone else. And it felt good. Talking to her felt good. Seeing her smile at me, because of me made me smile. Our wings brushing against each other ever so slightly just adding to the peaceful euphoria of it all. I never wanted it to end.

"You should probably get back to your family, it's getting late, they might worry"

'My what? Oh right! My family, the one waiting in the town house for me so we can have dinner together, I told them I'd be back by now' I'd been in such a daze that I hadn't even noticed the time passing and had completely forgotten about the dinner plans made before I left for my mission. "Uhh, r-right, yes, of course" I stuttered, I fucking stuttered. Cauldrons what is this femal- deity doing to me? "See you around shadow-singer". Before I even had a chance to respond she had spread all four of her wings, and I couldn't help but admire them again, how they looked so fragile that if the wind blew to hard they would break. Yet they held strong without faltering. Lifting off into the air with the same grace she had shown the entire day, the canopy opening so she had direct access to the sky, she disappeared before I could blink.

I decided that, yes, I would definately be 'seeing her around' sometime. And with that I beat my wings lifting of the branch which slowly bent back to its original place, using the same break in the canopy that y/n had, and made my way home, thinking of how I would go out and try to find her again tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Y/n's POV

Leaving the shadow singer with a dumb-founded look on his face, I flew away to a deeper part of the forest.

'You know, maybe my siblings had the right idea with the whole 'visiting fae cities' thing, I might just need to ask one of them to take care of my forest for a while.' Just to see what I've been missing out on, obviosly. Not at all to see a certain shadow singer 'I never got his name.' Oh well, guess I'll just have to accidently stumble across him during my visit.

–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-

Ok so how was that? Let me know if you think it was any good, constructive criticism is welcome, have a good day, love ya

#fanfic #fantasy #original character #acotar #azriel #azriel x you #azriel fanfiction #azriel x y/n

[solvicrafts]

Jarlaxle & Social Grace

BUCKLE UP, KIDDOS! I'm about to drop some new Jarlaxle meta :O

This post is going to be following a new format because I want to make it easier to read for people who maybe aren't very well-versed in the books, and I want to provide a good resource for roleplayers and DMs. Therefore I am going to break it up into different sections, and if you are reading this with the intent to get an understanding of Jarlaxle for the sake of portraying him faithfully in your campaign, you can skip ahead to whichever part you need (although of course I DO recommend reading the whole thing if you're /not/ very familiar with Jarlaxle and would like to get a really in-depth look at him & his motivations)

This post is going to be super-long, so if you do not want to read the entire thing, Section 4 is where I try to more or less summarize things and give some tips on how to play Jarlaxle as a DM. All sections have been bolded in orange font to make them easier to find at a glance.

EDIT: There are some spoilers for one particular thing that happens towards the end of Lolth's Warrior. These will be mentioned in the second half of Part 2, and all of Part 3. If you wish to avoid them, Parts 1, 4, and 5 do not have them.

Section 1: Jarlaxle and the concept of social grace

If there's one thing Jarlaxle is known for, it's his ability to charm the pants off of damn near everyone he encounters. And while this is very much true for him, people pretty commonly miss out on the purpose of his charming behavior and the intent behind it.

As I re-read the Sellswords trilogy (and some of the side content from that time period), there are a few things that really stand out to me:

Jarlaxle goes out of his way to de-escalate situations… like, a lot.

These books really do a good job of pointing out how delightfully charming Jarlaxle is -- more on that later.

While he does try to coast on Drizzt's reputation a few times, he really doesn't NEED to for a pretty major reason.

Jarlaxle is extraordinarily good at extending social grace to people in situations where it arguably isn't deserved, and while it doesn't always succeed for him, what I find interesting is that he doesn't tend to take it very personally.

For our first example, let's take a look at this bit from Servant of the Shard:

Entreri and Jarlaxle merely tipped their hats and moved to the bar, making no threatening movements and keeping their expressions perfectly friendly. "What're ye about?" the barkeep barked at them. "Who're ye, and what's yer business?" "Travelers," Entreri answered, "weary of the road and seeking a bit of respite." "Well, yell not be finding it here, ye won't!" the barkeep growled. "Get yer hats back on yer ugly heads and get yer arses out me door!" Entreri looked to Jarlaxle, who seemed perfectly unperturbed. "I do believe we will stay a bit," the drow stated. "I do understand your hesitance, good sir . . . good Eman Briar," he added, remembering the sign. "Eman?" the barkeep echoed in obvious confusion.

This bit goes on for a while, with the barkeep becoming increasingly irate, Jarlaxle hilariously over-performing in his Drizzt Do'Urden cosplay, and Entreri just plain having enough of this shit.

What's also interesting is this exchange:

"It will always be like this," Entreri said to his companion a short while later. "It had not been so for Drizzt Do'Urden of late, so my spies indicated," the drow answered. "His reputation, in those lands where he was known, outshone the color of his skin in the eyes of even the small-minded men. So, soon, will my own." "A reputation for heroic deeds?" Entreri asked with a doubting laugh. "Are you to become a hero for the land, then?" "That, or a reputation for leaving burned-out villages behind me," Jarlaxle replied. "Either way, I care little."

(bolded for emphasis)

What's interesting to note here is that Jarlaxle claims not to care, but then later on a fight breaks out when Kimmuriel and Rai'gy send a group of wererats in to ambush Jarlaxle and Entreri, and this happens:

He took a moment to glance Jarlaxle's way then and saw the drow up in the air, levitating and turning circles, daggers flying from his pumping arm. Following their paths, Entreri saw one wererat, and another, stumble backward under the assault. A farmer grabbed at his calf, a blade deeply embedded there. Jarlaxle purposely hadn't killed the human, Entreri noted, though he surely could have.

This, by the way, continues on throughout the Sellswords trilogy. Jarlaxle and Artemis repeatedly find themselves in situations where people are hostile towards them largely due to Jarlaxle's race, and Jarlaxle always makes a point of diffusing the situation whether or not it is justified. He's not above embarrassing the occasional drunkard, of course, but he does go above and beyond to give people the benefit of the doubt, and we also see an example of this in a short story that takes place I believe between the first and second book, in which Jarlaxle and Entreri enter a tavern and the waitress appears nervous over Jarlaxle's presence and has trouble serving them, and when Entreri lashes out at her, Jarlaxle is the one to admonish him for his behavior.

So, why does he do this? Why does Jarlaxle go to so much effort to give the benefit of the doubt to people who, arguably, may not always be deserving of it?

Section 2: Why Jarlaxle is surprisingly successful at breaking down social barriers

Even if his attempts at keeping the peace don't always work out in his favor, one thing that his traveling companions (especially Entreri) tend to pick up on his that he is really, really good at breaking down social barriers.

For example, Entreri notices in the beginning of Promise of the Witch-King that Jarlaxle makes quick work of befriending a group of adventurers that includes a surface elf, also known as the sworn enemy of Lolthite drow. The group is initially standoffish toward him as he approaches, and they very quickly come around as he makes them laugh.

What makes Jarlaxle so charming, and earns him a bit more leeway and good will than most drow trying to make it on the surface, is the fact that he is really, really good at extending social grace to people and giving them the benefit of the doubt even in situations where they have not done so themselves. He even tells Entreri in this same book, point blank, "charm is a learned skill" and he's not wrong.

Jarlaxle has an easier time winning people over because he prioritizes making them feel good vs making them feel bad. When you put people on the defensive, they will almost always double-down on whatever behavior it is you want them to change. But if you show compassion or understanding or try to make them feel better in some way, they're going to be way more likely to come around to your point of view.

Remember that bit I bolded from Entreri saying "it will always be like this"?

If Jarlaxle had given up and gone back to Menzoberranzan, he'd probably be right. But as it stands, Jarlaxle did not do that; he instead fought to build a society in which drow can safely live on the surface and mingle with its inhabitants. Lolth's Warrior even ends with him leading thousands of refugees from Menzoberranzan to the surface and securing a better future for them, and that is an absolutely monumental achievement on his part.

And what makes Jarlaxle so inspiring and also very compelling to me, personally, is the fact that he really doesn't get terribly caught up on the concept of "deserving." This has been a constant for him throughout the series, and it becomes very apparent at the end of Lolth's Warrior when he makes a point to stand behind Quenthel and refuses to give her up during his negotiations with Sos'Umptu.

Section 3: It's not about 'deserve...'

...it's about what you believe.

"We will destroy everything you desire in House Baenre, I promise, should it come to that. But it should not! You will have Matron Shakti Hunzrin at your side. And with Malagdorl freed by you, House Barrison Del'Armgo will not oppose you. Make of him your patron and your weapon master in House Baenre! The play is so obvious, and with House Baenre and Barrison Del'Armgo joined, who will argue? You will have the peace you need to rebuild." "And what do you get in return?" Sos'Umptu asked. "We leave." "Leave?" He hid the smile he felt at her bemusement. "We leave. All who will go. We leave Menzoberranzan, the City of Spiders, the City of Lolth. We leave never to return, and with your word that you will not pursue us." "I cannot give you that word. I serve Lolth." "Then just let us leave, and we will do what we must if it comes to that." "The Blaspheme remains." "You would not want that and I cannot offer that." Sos'Umptu sat back for a bit and considered her reply, seeming to agree with the former part, at least. "Quenthel is doomed. She stays and pays for her great heresy." "No." "No?" "No. As I said: all who want to must be allowed to go. Besides, I cannot make decisions for her. Do you not understand that? Do you not understand what this is all about, what it has been about since the beginning? It is about individual choice and freedom. Personal agency to determine life and faith—yes, faith! Mostly faith! How can you demand fealty to a goddess from those who do not worship her? Why would she even want them? Why would you want them causing only unrest in your city? That's what we fought for, Sos'Umptu. Lolth was a symbol of the oppression, nothing more." Sos'Umptu laughed at him. "You always were an idiot, Jarlaxle, believing that others carried such pride as you have within your heart. You never saw Lolth as your great mother and so you are arrogant enough to believe that all others feel as you do." "Not all. Not you, clearly." "Not hardly all," Sos'Umptu said.

For those of you who haven't read the books (or have only read a few), Quenthel is one of Jarlaxle's sisters, and was, up until this point, the Matron Mother of House Baenre. And as Matron Mother, she personally victimized Jarlaxle and several of his men many, many, many times. She arguably is wholly undeserving of Jarlaxle's compassion here.

Which only makes Jarlaxle's refusal to give her up that much more important and moving. Because here's the thing: he *could* have done it, and it likely would have made negotiations a bit easier for him. He had no way of knowing that Sos'Umptu was going to be willing to concede that much, and he took a huge risk at losing everything to stand up for Quenthel.

And really, I don't think anyone would have even held it against him if he'd given her up; they'd have accepted it as a loss for the greater good or, likely in many cases, would've felt she deserved it.

But to Jarlaxle, it wasn't a question of deserve or doesn't deserve. After all, his closest friends tend to be people who murder to cope with their traumas, and he has taken it upon himself to give all of them a chance to better themselves whether or not they've 'earned' it in any way.

Section 4: The Takeaway, from an RP Standpoint

And now, let's think about what we've learned of Jarlaxle — or what we've learned from Jarlaxle:

Extending social grace to people who are not acting friendly towards you is not a sign of personal weakness, but in fact very much the opposite

Giving people the benefit of the doubt may not always feel justified or deserved, but it absolutely can benefit you to do so

People learn and grow when they are given opportunity and support

With that in mind, here is some advice on how to play Jarlaxle as a DM:

For the love of Lolth (or not), don't have him murder or otherwise betray Soluun or any of his other men. This take comes up with alarming regularity in discussions about Waterdeep: Dragon Heist and it absolutely grinds my gears. Jarlaxle would not approve of Soluun's activities, but his solution would not be to just throw him under the bridge and be done with it. Realistically, if your players were to reveal his activities to him, Jarlaxle would likely pull him away and not give him any further opportunities to murder innocent people.

Also, keep in mind that Jarlaxle immediately forgave his lieutenants for starting a coup and attempting to murder him. He immediately took responsibility for his own lapses in judgment during Servant of the Shard and even appointed Kimmuriel as his co-leader to keep his worst impulses in check. Had Rai'gy and Berg'inyon survived, he'd have pardoned them, too (though he probably not have promoted them like he did Kimmuriel lol)

Jarlaxle's charm is meant to deceive would-be adversaries, yes, but it's not the only reason he uses it. Jarlaxle genuinely does not want bloodshed if it can be avoided, and he tries to find solutions to conflicts that are mutually beneficial. If your players end up befriending him or wanting to side with him? Run with it. Jarlaxle is almost always willing to make a deal, and he is not going to go out of his way to attack or attempt to kill the players unless they absolutely force his hand, and it'd take something really, really extreme for that to even be on the table in the first place.

While he probably wouldn't admit it even under torture, there is an undercurrent of self-loathing that guides a lot of Jarlaxle's actions, and is part of the reason he goes out of his way to be compassionate (even if he'd never use that word to describe himself). Jarlaxle's charm and vanity is meant to knock his enemies off balance and keep the peace in situations where a fight might break out, but it's not all of who he is as a person. Much of what he does in the more recent books comes down to lasting guilt and trauma due to his perceived failures to protect and save people he cared about.

While he may use some really under-handed methods for achieving his goals at times, he does usually have pretty decent if not outright good intentions behind them. With this in mind, if players are willing to negotiate with him, do not play him as an unreasonable hard-ass. This man loves diplomacy and will almost always prioritize finding a peaceful solution over violence. He will absolutely convince your players that his and their goals are aligned, and honestly? There's a pretty good chance they will be, if they aren't already. I realize this is basically point #3 re-phrased but I just can't emphasize it enough because 80% of the fandom completely fell for his act and never looked any further. Yes, yes, he's the funny hat man who fucks, but there's just SO MUCH MORE to him than that.

And lastly (for now lol) Jarlaxle loves flirting and enthusiastic consent, but — and this is very, very important! — he absolutely draws a hard line at violating someone else's (or his own) bodily autonomy. If you choose to let him/the PCs flirt, please for the love of god keep that in mind. Jarlaxle will happily flirt and play around (and more) but if another character isn't into it he will absolutely stop and respect their boundaries. He wants to have fun and if the other person/people involved are not having fun, then neither is he.

Section 5: And lastly: how can we apply what we have learned from Jarlaxle to our personal lives?

I also think that Jarlaxle's example is not just important from an RP perspective, but from a human perspective, because at the end of the day, odds are we've all encountered people in our lives who were rude to us, or treated us poorly, or offended us in some other way. That is a fact of life and it is something that all of us have to deal with at some point.

And the truth is, giving in to cruelty is easy. Holding grudges is easy. Writing people off is easy.

But giving people opportunity to learn and grow, and showing compassion to people who have wronged you absolutely is not, and very often we get caught up on the question of "does this person deserve it?" but we neglect to ask ourselves "how am I helping [this cause/this person/myself]?"

And of course, that is not to say that there aren't situations IRL in which it IS better to burn bridges, because of course there are. But if you take some time out of your day to ask yourself that last question, you might be surprised to learn that extending a bit of social grace yourself, even (or especially!) in situations where it might not feel deserved, can actually be beneficial not just to the other person but to YOU.

Could the cashier have bagged your groceries wrong because they're a jerk and wanted to hurt you, personally? Yeah, sure, but does it benefit anyone to assume that is the case and get worked up about it? Probably not.

Did the person who cut you off in traffic do it because they're a jerk? Possibly. But is holding a grudge going to give you peace of mind, or is it going to ruin your day?

Sometimes people are assholes because they feel like it, but most of the time people are assholes because they feel justified and/or slighted in some way, and while it might not always feel justified on YOUR part, extending social grace and forgiveness will benefit you more often than not even if it isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.

#legend of drizzt #jarlaxle baenre #jarlaxle meta #lolth's warrior spoilers #I keep going back and editing this lol #but another point I'd like to add is that while being diplomatic was an absolute MUST for Jarlaxle during his life in Menzoberranzan #he does not HAVE to be so understanding and forgiving of people on the surface #but he actively CHOOSES to #and what makes this great is that it's not framed as a weakness by the narrative even in those instances where it doesn't work out for him #honestly I wrote this while I had a raging headache and was burnt out from work so there's a lot more I probably missed #that'll have to come in another post I think

[wayfayrr]

The colors voices being being more quiet than before altho he can still hear them they are much more muffled as times goes on in reader's world making it hard for four to tell who is talking let alone hearing them against outside voices. Heard somewhere that the colors aren't extra pieces of four but rather parts of him so I would think they wouldn't go away it's just the outside world is way much more easier to hear than the colors now which means when four actual wants to hear them perfectly to understand who is talking and what their saying, he has to be in a room where there is little noise meaning he is gunna miss things. Twilight and Legend's behaviors and abilities that have something to with the animal part of them are still there even when they can't change to animal form altho Twilight still can because of his necklace since it has it's own source of magic and it's the magic Zant used to turn Twilight into a wolf but now in a gem where Twilight wears so I think when twilight or legend touches it they end up turning into their animal forms pluse those behaviors that connect with those animal forms stay no matter what as those are just nature to them something there body is just adapted to do like legend sleeping with eyes open and twilight having sharp teeth. Time feeling the affects of losing that magic fd gave him intill he has the fd mask with him where he can feel those strength back but it's much more faint since he still has to deal with those joint pains. As a treat reader takes wind to those aquariums to see the wonders of the sea and takes him to beaches. The Chain and sage come with them as well since they are very attached to reader, always there's one of them trying to loop one of their arms on reader's waist taking reader's attention off of wind and when people notice as some of the links faintly fight over reader as to not get introuble and get them all kicked out and so ruining the day for the two and so seeing how the links look similar to each other making some bold strangers asking who is the father of and wind and thinking reader is wind's parent but then again they are technically since someone has to adopt wind or else he is going straight to the orphanage and no wants that and noting how the links are it causes chaos and the stranger confused. Reader is gunna have to explain while the links are throwing hands and then there's wind just glaring at the fight like "why, out of all days to do this, it has to be now"

This happens a lot to be honest and those who seen reader with sage in the past think wind is adopted and sage is the other parent. Sage confirms and now the links are fighting again

I'm just gonna start this by saying I'm not gonna answer part of this ask because I don't wanna spoil the fic! I'm more than willing to talk more about the role wind's going to have and the family dynamics with the rest of the chain but right now I'm keeping it more quiet until I get to that bit!! If you want to send in asks about it feel free but I'll be answering them under a read more!! ✨

As for the rest of this! One of the first things brought for four when he realises what happens is sound cancelling headphones so he can get some privacy to tune into the colours whenever he can, without having to go into a private room and lose whatever they were saying if he has already managed to catch him. Reader's trying to help them all adapt no matter what. Even if Sage is being a bit of a baby over it. With the idea of Legend and Twilight keeping those traits as well, it would be a much steeper learning curve for them, as long as Twi's stone keeps some twilight magic within it both of them can shift as long as they please with the drawback that each time they do it drains the reserves slightly faster. Time losing the FD traits is what will take the longest out of the entire chain though, seeing as he's had that influencing him the longest out of anything and how he still has the mask with him. But as it does start to wear off and you're very right about the joint pains, the old man's gonna need a lot of support now that he's starting to feel his age.

But group trips with the chain like that, Taking them to beaches and to places wind wants to go as a reward It's so soft 🥹🥹 he just wants a nice day out with his family, He doesn't want them ruining it like this. you can guarantee he's sulking the entire way back.

#Sage will learn to talk to people at some point. #reader will force him to work out his differences with the chain #He doesn't get a choice :) #It'll end up alright after all the minor arguments #even though sage is still a sad wet cat #yandere linked universe x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #lu sage #househusband sage #moss✦answers

[dirtbra1n]

well since you obviously said it isn't a trap! what are your thoughts on hirano and sasaki :)

so it was a trap in the end. surprise! it’s just that it was supposed to be like a pit trap and it still is one just stupid deep. I’ve been in this pit for so long. sorry for leaving you waiting. it’s been ruminating for this long now and my thoughts aren’t organized to begin with so we Might as well just get on with it

tldr Tfw you and your best friend are queer at the same time and are sort of constantly orbiting around one another about it in weird liminal space where you’re simultaneously telling each other everything but never saying something

so I don’t know if you’ve gotten the chance to read the sasamiya first years novel yet highly recommend it Sound of the summer. but there was. like. an unprecedented amount of stuff in there that gutted me. like the last chapter. here’s the chapter image by the way

psychological warfare on me specifically. just Look I’ll bold the highlights:

He wants to pull himself up, I thought. He just hasn’t found anything to give him that push.

Not that it was any business of mine.

“Sun’s pretty high in the sky by now. There shouldn’t be any direct sunlight on your desk this time of day,” I said. “You came all the way to school. As long as you have the chance to make the effort, why not make it?”

With that encouragement, Sasaki got to his feet, swaying slightly. As I watched him brush the dust off his uniform, I decided to suggest to the Disciplinary Committee that we should make sure this area got swept periodically. We wouldn’t want any part of the school, even one off-limits to students, to look grimy.

“Mmm… Well, I guess I could handle one worksheet. If you’ll help me, Hirano.” The way he still seemed completely harmless was almost funny.

“Yeah, I’ll help you. If you really have it with you. If you don’t, then go talk to the teacher and get another copy before lunch is over.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I almost cracked a smile at the sense of friendliness he exuded. “You should only say ‘yeah’ once. Break’s over in five minutes, you know. You could stand to look like you’re sweating it a little.”

This time, Sasaki drew it out into a single “yeeeah.” He started down the stairs, and I fell into step beside him. “Hey, give me your phone number,” I said softly, rushing it out.

“You?” he said, apparently not expecting that at all.

I was surprised to discover I felt a rush of embarrassment. I kept my eyes determinedly forward. “It’s a pain in the ass not being able to get ahold of you.” It felt funny, looking after a guy my own age like this, but I couldn’t stop myself. I figured getting Sasaki’s contact info now would make it easier if I needed something with him in the future.

Sasaki Shuumei.

My first impression was that he did things by the seat of his pants. My second—that he was a lot of trouble.

for my own peace of mind. will largely copy-paste what I’ve already said

like. how else do I say that this feels like. pre-romance. you’d think it’s WEIRD for these two. but there’s still that feeling. that hirano feels drawn to look after sasaki in like EXACTLY the same way he felt drawn to look after kagi. the like. “Hey, give me your phone number,” I said softly, rushing it out. sasaki sweeping dust off himself and hirano getting the idea to suggest the disciplinary committee sweep EVERYWHERE. with that underlying feeling of I don’t want you to get dirty. seeing where sasaki is, not wanting to move forward, and wanting (quietly, subconsciously) to help him with it. Maybe we were supposed to be having this conversation.

like what’s WITH that. why does it FEEL LIKE THAT

like part of it totally is the whole I have feelings for you I have feelings for you too (the feeling they’re both feeling is friendship) but it’s ALSO. ITS SOMETHING ELSE TOO. and it’s SO interesting to bite into because this novel like. very suddenly threw at us this different angle at which to view the relationships we’re already familiar with. and without even knowing it hirano and sasaki’s friendship—which was ALREADY liable to tear me asunder—was actually EVEN MORE LOADED with things to blow my dick clean off No don’t leave that in.

like we knew already that hirano’s this diligent kind of guy, but he gets this task that he feels is absolutely not his fucking job (tell sasaki to turn in a worksheet) and then he, like. gets pissy about it Yeah but also takes it exactly as seriously as you’d EXPECT him to. he complains about not feeling full at lunch even on a regular gym day, but he ate fast to have more time. to look for sasaki. he looked in every typical playing-hooky kind of space in the school, physically moving up the school, floor by floor, as he searched. and then he’s out of places. except for the school roof, which is locked, but he gets suspicious and goes to check anyway.

Ogasawara said Sasaki hates the heat. From that perspective, the stairway looked like a cozy hole in the ground.

I pushed aside the whiteboard proclaiming that the roof was for “authorized personnel only” and took a hesitant step onto the stairs. I worked my way up to the landing, doing my damnedest not to make a sound. I turned and saw someone.

“There you are!” I sighed.

Sasaki was at the uppermost part of the staircase. The door to the roof was indeed locked, and the only window that let any light in was far away. Sasaki was sitting in a shadowy spot, leaning against the cool wall, listening to music.

“Oh,” he said, his eyes drifting open. His ya-caught-me expression seemed out of place on the dusty staircase. It was the disinterested reaction of a guy who just didn’t care about school.

“The hell are you doing here?” I said. Had he really been sitting there all day? Didn’t his butt get sore?

Sasaki slid off his headphones and gave me a questioning look. “Er, Hirano, right? Whatcha need?”

He remembers my name? That surprised me. Maybe my golden hair gave it away.

“What do I need? To tell you that you have to turn in a worksheet for Modern Literature today. You’re the only one who hasn’t.”

Only then did it occur to me that it would have been far more efficient just to have Ogasawara send him a text. I’d been asked to tell him to turn in the worksheet, but I wasn’t ordered to collect it from him. Still, it was true that I was concerned about his “flying by the seat of his pants” approach to life. Maybe we were supposed to be having this conversation.

and really when you read the entire chapter with this understanding of its Weirdness you’ll notice all these various ways hirano has noticed things about sasaki (“No wonder he always seemed to be eating bread at lunch.”) and it’s just like. Where do we go from here.

and then you look at early hirakagi and sasaki’s subtitle is “The Classmate” and it’s BEWILDERINGLY FUNNY

like this is hysterical to me. you share this strangely intimate moment with this guy you feel drawn to look after despite everything and then after that he’s not even your friend yet.

we see what the beginning of their friendship looks like, we see how invested hirano is in sasaki’s just. everything! we see how much he sees sasaki (apathetic, placid, a couple steps from delinquency, though he’s not moving towards it) and we see how much he WANTS sasaki to get past it!!! and then they aren’t even friends yet. because hirano is unbeatably weird about his relationships with all people. what the hell is wrong with you hirano taiga. I love you.

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN GETTING INTO THE WAY SASAKI GETS ABOUT HIRANO.!!!!! because just. god I think the reason I was putting this off is because it makes me want to cry. We all remember this scene right

because I remember. think I could probably get whacked over the head with a fire extinguisher, get amnesia’d, and still remember this scene in blinding detail. have I said already that I’m insane. I went on this big long tangent in sunnnfish’s tags about it one time, and I’m gonna quote myself on that:

the way sasaki who even now at this point in time is generally apathetic and walled off from emotion / who is walking with a friend of his who also generally isn’t much for externalizing how he feels / sees an aspect of that friends life that he hardly sees / and thus sees an aspect of that FRIEND he hardly sees / and that aspect is. it’s so. / like i’m losing my grip on this framing / sasaki knows hirano to be kind of a hardass and stick in the mud / and all of a sudden out of nowhere hirano is like Head back without me and sasaki / who until that moment hadn’t been paying attention. had therefore been observing and feeling nothing / looks up and sees. hirano doing something so (to sasaki) UN-hiranolike / because of kagi. and sasaki has to notice that. because he and hirano are friends. and sasaki is someone who notices things

the much shorter quote that sums up my feelings on this scene just about as well is as follows: LIKE GOD. LOOK AT SASAKI’S EYES. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN / DON’T YOU?

like you. I have to collect myself this is so embarrassing I hate you sasaki shuumei….. <- lie YOU GET THESE PIECES AND START PUTTING THEM TOGETHER. that their friendship started at the top of a stairwell that was kind of like a cozy hole in the ground, and hirano saw the sasaki there that was kind of just. not in a place to care! and he reached out to him in his pissy hardass way and asked shyly for his number and agreed to help with his work and started this process that got sasaki to. HERE!!!! they weren’t friends until somehow someway sometime they were and when hirano tells sasaki to go back without him he placidly agrees until he sees what hirano is doing and he gets this look in his eyes and it’s. I think I subconsciously know to avoid talking about sasaki because I can’t ever help but get unbearably emotional.

they’re just

they’re friends. and they care about each so much and the jump from their first year first-contact fucking. rendezvous in the stairwell leading to the roof, where it’s just them two in a place where neither of them is supposed to be, where hirano still resolves to keep it clean. which could mean nothing. to their second year where you can just look at sasaki’s eyes and glean something beyond words that has permanently ruined my life. to their third year where they’re so easy and comfortable and hirano smiles easily and with affection and sasaki has grown into someone who would be a stranger to first year hirano, but not an unwelcome one. you just. you have to get it! you have to understand!

so hey. we’ve made it this far in. right? we have. so can I please just

hirano sees sasaki, wants to help him despite being the same age -> sasaki, two years later, undeniably friends with this guy who he can be deeply himself with, wants help with something, sees hirano, notices how focused in on his own work he is, probably puzzles together how worn out he’s gotta be, and resolves not to ask for it.

we’ve made it this far in together, right? so I’ll do you the favor of not drawing this comparison to kagi even though I kind of want to, both for your sake but mostly for mine. because it might kill me to put those words together and I need to wipe my eyes AGAIN I HATE YOU SASAKI SHUUMEI!!!!!!!! <- liar

but there’s this thing that is so so evident through hirakagi specifically where you see sasaki seeing something and resolving to hold onto it for hirano’s sake. sasaki sees how worn out hirano is and refuses to put more stress on him. sasaki sees hirano interacting with roommate-kun and makes up his mind to keep as many of those details from miyano as possible.

he just cares. sasaki just cares.

so now this If you thought I was being weird before. man. let me quote myself again

like. it . these two. it almost feels like sasaki is thinking about miyano just to remind you that the weirdness here is totally Not something we should be latching onto. like sasaki SHOULD know already that miyano would NOT want him hunching over. but how else would we get THIS

what is with sasaki and hirano and this FEELING.

sasaki’s own line of ellipses. I mean, it’s not like you’re short or anything. Oh. But then Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

WHAT IS WITH SASAKI AND HIRANO AND THIS FEELING.

@sunnnfish comments here on the liminality, “a special space where time and space feel weird. Almost like it shouldn’t exist”

a couple steps to the left

like sasaki and miyano.. they don’t really get all that many liminal moments. and hirano and kagi get their moments but they’re like. MOMENTS. but sasaki and hirano…… every one of them, it feels like, when they’re alone, just the two of them. every one of them has that liminal feeling where everything’s weird, and you’re speaking around this impossible SOMETHING in your mouth, sat on your tongue, not going anywhere, and your words come out sort of jumbled for it. your brain tunes it out, thoughts about this and that, anything else, but the busyness just serves to emphasize that space on your tongue that is being taken up by….. whatever it is. like an x-ray, what’s being seen through and what isn’t.

…

like this moment where it’s just them and liminality is inescapable, they HAVE to talk about roommate-kun and he HAS to think about miyano. they have to. just a couple steps to the left, but this isn’t that. Oh. But Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

I’m a rotten husk, if you couldn’t tell. going to take one more second on that FUCKING. LINE because there’s something about it to me.

S: You of all people?

H: Huh?

S: Oh, no…

S: ………

S: I mean, it’s not like you’re short or anything. Oh. But then Roommate-kun’s taller than me, isn’t he?

his demeanor, his nine point ellipses, scratching the back of his head. then he thinks about kagi and draws the comparison. I’m gonna be sick I think actually

and then sunnnfish threw a right hook re: recontextualizing hirano’s They really have gotten close… …… Well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with that.

SF: … it’s like. In our canon universe that Not shifted a little to the left Hirano watches Sasaki evolve so much. Because of Miyano. Sasaki rather suddenly became such a close friend of his who he actively wants to see get better and find purpose and he sees him find that. At least a little. Even though he’s still apathetic he has more pep in his step. And there’s something there in all of that too. Just. Watching your best friend fall in love and change. That’s like it’s own kind of fucked up. Especially considering on some level he wanted to be the one to help sasaki. But he’s also happy that sasaki seems happier. I’m getting lost in the sauce I feel

DB: NO YEAH YOURE GETTING ME THERE

so I’ll drag back the tldr. sasaki and hirano have a really queer friendship and it’s a pang through the heart if you’re at all like me. number one secret third thing of my heart, because they’re actually really mundane and their friendship is so liminal and. look when I say. okay I’m gonna say something. their friendship is kind of romantic. just not necessarily in a romantic way. okay? all right.

one last. Let me sort of quote myself one last time I promise

sasaki too this GUY…. like of course I like the sasaki sasaki is with miyano. he’s everything to me even. but I think part of this secret third thing with hirano is like. the clear shot of the sasaki that. well not everyone sees him this way, tashiro thinks he’s scary. and ogasawara is gonna have a different view of him too because they’ve known each other for a few years now. but hirano went looking for him—when he realized HIMSELF that he literally could have just had ogasawara SEND HIM A TEXT—he went looking for him and found him in that stairwell that he was NOT supposed to be in and spoke to him, like he was maybe SUPPOSED to, and he sees this clear shot of the sasaki that is so. quiet friendly lonely and kind, a little timid and reclusive and aimless but not for lack of WANTING to pull himself up. this sasaki. and hirano gets a little short with him but he also wants to help him, wants to help pull him up, or at least help him WANT to pull himself up, wants to look after him

they’re weird and they care about each other so so so so sooooo so much because they’re friends. and sometimes they’re weird about each other. which is super normal. but as much as I’m waving my hands around clarifying this and that I’m standing by my initial statement with the stairwell. that was a really romantic framing. all right? okay.

I’m giving you a ladder out of the pit trap now. thank you very much for asking you’re a real good sport for that

#so. Yeah! #finishing this hmmmm. juuust about half an hour before it’s sasaki’s birthday for me #so we’ll call it his birthday present even though he’d hate it. :) #sasaki shuumei #hirano taiga #novel writer kotoko hachijo. i would love to shake your hand someday… #last touches done. if it’s janked or unreadable or incomprehensible. lets just call that an occupational hazard. okay? all right #belatedly realizing i forgot some tags #askbox #dirtbrain digression #sasahira

[esotericpluto]

the ideal career for you

from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings. You can donate here.

divider: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

pile 1

the moon, 7 of wands, ten of cups

this pile includes 18+ themes, so please skip over it if you are under 18. You can pick other pile.

with this pile, I'm getting a lot of possible careers coming through. I feel like many of you might end up working in careers that require you to work at night or until night. However, I do also see that some type of fame and recognition is very possible here and that you will keep this air of mystery, regardless of how famous and known you are. Some people reading this pile might even have more than one career from these options throughout their lives or even change it up a bit later on in life when you are more stable, looking forward to the field that truly makes you happy and fulfilled.

Now, some of you this indicates jobs in public eye. Some of you will be entertainers and bring joy to others. This can mean being an actor, singer, artist, musician, a comedian, a dancer or even could mean being an illusionist, working at the circus or at the entertainment part of hotels and touristic areas.

This might be especially true if you have leo and 9th house placements, if you love to sing, if you like to dye your hair or paint your nails. It might also resonate if your initials are C, K or M. Some of you who like to wear bold eyeliners can also resonate with this.

For some of you, I feel like you might end up becoming strippers (and yes this includes some men reading this) and get even some popularity from this. While this is sex work, keep in mind it still is counted as entertainment by many. Alternatively, you could go into burlesque/cabaret or similar things. Later on, for some of you, I do see a career change into something new you'll fall in love with but this will keep you afloat for a long time and many of you will enjoy it, especially due to the money. Others will make enough money to retire early or even leave early and just invest and live life. Now please, keep in mind that for those of you in this field, it is important for you to keep yourself safe and work in regulated spaces.

This could especially resonate for you if you have a couple tattoos, that know how to belly dance, that like smoothies, that have curly hair, that wear glasses/contacts, that love working out or go on shopping sprees. If you have a tongue piercing, it could also be a sign it resonates. Extra confirmation of any of you are aquarius, leo or virgo, especially with moon in scorpio or moon in capricorn.

Alternatively, some of you could end up working as dj's at clubs, bartenders or even bodyguards. This seems like it will actually help you meet a lot of people, make connections and network. I see some people even managing or owning nightclubs/bars later in life. The same could go for motels/hotels, although the sexual theme is being compelled here, so I think a motel seems somewhat likely for those of you this resonates with.

I feel like for some of you, you might become teachers/professors who give night lectures at universities or even to bigger audiences in important conferences. I feel like your input in your field will be extremely important. For those who will follow this teaching path, I feel like you will either be a political science, sociology, sexology or arts/entertainment teacher. And some of you could even end up having some minor career in politicians (like being a deputy/congress person in a parliament).

I feel like this one can apply for everyone in this group, so there is a chance any of you do end up doing this later in life out of passion.

For those of you thinking of going into investing into property or in general, I feel like this will go extremely well for you. Again you might invest in nightclubs/motels like i mentioned or even in rehabilitating older houses in usually less appealing neighborhoods, giving it a new life and appreciation and increasing thr value and safety of the area. If you want to invest in stocks instead, definitely invest in things related to the topics above. For some of you, I heard "invest in HIV research" so pick medicine companies that are working on researching it and creating cures/treatments. I'm also getting a special warning to not invest into crypto/nfts if you pick this pile.

pile 2

7 of pentacles; Tower; 3 of wands; Queen of Cups

I'm getting that some of you might get a career that has a long path to go through and that might include having a lot of patience. I feel like this could indicate some of you will have to study a lot and spend years and thousands on education to get this career, which leads me to think some of you are becoming doctors or medical practitioners. Alternatively, you could be in a career that will require you to start with low paying entry level jobs, but that will take you to the top positions that will be extremely well paid. I see that for some, this could also indicate having to go through an unpaid or lowly paid internship in order to make your way into the field or being in a job that doesn't pay you well and overworks you before switching to a better one.

For some of you, this wait in order to collect the seeds of your labour can be literal as in becoming a gardener, a farmer or even similar jobs in agricultural management or even owning a flower shop. This could, in a few cases, also involve baking and cooking and all the time that can go into it.

There are a group of you that this wait refers to working on your psychic and intuitive abilities as well as on your spiritual knowledge to the point of mastery and make a career out of it.

Like I mentioned before, I do see many healers, doctors and medics coming out of this pile, psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists are also coming in strong. Some might also go into traditional medicine and hollistic practices, maybe even reiki, energy work or medical astrology. I see that checking your 12th house or pisces placements either on your solar chart or on your midheaven persona chart can help you confirm this information.

Those of you that are thinking about going into therapy and psychology are being recommended to look into specializing in anger management and conflict resolution, so possibly something like family and couple therapy.

There could also be some of you that create youtube channels/instagram pages to help others with your knowledge and tips.

A small percentage of you might end up becoming a military medic/doctor/nurse as well, specializing in helping wounded soldiers. On the same note, a military cook is also possible.

It is also very important to note for everyone who picked this pile that your career might cause you emotional overwhelm or pressure, so always be sure to protect your energy and not allow yourself to be too drained.

This strong energy also takes me to believe some of you will be writers or artists, which also makes sense for the time aspect of this reading, as making art or writing can be time consuming. Some of you could even become freelancers or start creative industry enterprises/businesses.

These are just extra confirmations, so if nothing of these signs match you, it doesn't mean the pile is wrong for you.

This could resonate especially if you've recently watched a documentary or movie touching on the subjects of oppression, if you're in university or if you have been to university and if you have ever worked a waiter/public service job. If you enjoy stuff like Silent Hill and Red Dead Redemption, this could also resonate with you. Same if you like purple and blue or are wearing either. Extra confirmation if you're a taurus, gemini, aries or capricorn. Also if you specifically have a libra venus in either tropical or vedic.

pile 3

Lovers, Death, Star, Tower, Four of Pentacles

This pile has a brief mention of de*th and s**cide, so if you're very sensitive to those topics, please avoid this pile.

With the number of major arcanas here, I feel like whatever career you end up picking, you will have an important role in the area and maybe do something very groundbreaking in it. You'll be essential in your job/career and could even change the world in a way with it. No matter how small of a change it is, it will still be impactful.

The career will involve other people or at least one more person to some degree, this could be either a business/work partner or work involving clients or the public.

I'm getting two main groups here. One group will be focusing on healing and some type of therapy, especifically involving death. So this could be councilling focused on helping disaster survivors or grief therapy to help people who lost their loved ones or witnessed traumatic deaths. You will essentially be very important to help them move on and find themselves again. Because the Star can be related to peace, being true to one self and healing, you will definitely help people heal and find their peace and meaning in life again. For some of you, you could also help people who attempted suicide or have suicidal tendencies, helping them to work through this. You will help people who have lost everything and you'll help them rebuild their lives back up with healthier and better foundations, allowing them to feel more secure and in control of themselves and their lives.

For the other group, I feel like your work will be focusing more on creative industries. This could be publishing and marketing for some, however I feel like many of you will embark on music and acting careers, which will help many people also heal and have healthy coping mechanisms.

I feel like your music or your acting (mainly acting) will allow you to become separate from yourself for a moment by wearing another persona and putting yourself in someone else's shoes, but also will allow you to explore different aspects of yourself, giving you a deeper understanding of yourself and others. For some, this could be a musical theatre career. If not, you could become a music composer for movies and shows or even a music producer.

I'm also seeing some of you will be a play writer or a movie writer/director. I feel like there might be moments of your career you won't feel as valued, but rest assured there will be millions loving your work. You might also have extremely innovative ideas for the field and do things, create storylines no one has ever really seen before. You could even create a new genre of cinema or a new wave/style of film.

For a smaller percentage of you, I'm also seeing that you might be doing something money/management related, so an investor or establishing a new business/company that might help people around the world.

Extra confirmation if you like rock n' roll or watched an Elvis Presley movie/documentary or read a tweet about him recently. If you consume true crime, especially from the 80's, if you enjoy the aesthetic of the circus. It might also resonate if you listen to Britney and/or Mariah or if your favorite color is red. If you like high heels, especially louboutins, or enjoy using red/dark lipsticks, or shaved your legs in the previous 3 days, this is also extra confirmation for you. Could also apply if you're a scorpio, sagittarius or pisces.

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #free readings #free tarot readings #tarot readings #tarot reading #free tarot reading #intuitive reading #intuitive readings #free intuitive reading #free intuitive readings #free psychic readings #psychic readings #psychic reading #free psychic reading #career tarot readings #career readings #career reading

[ambrosialsyrup]

To Pause

Warning(s): Gender-neutral reader, OOC?, Not proof-read, self-deprecation, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self-harm. Angst? to fluff. It’s Swallow Bun.

Fandom: The Tale of Food

Summary: Swallow Bun longed for death but now…he wishes to pause for but for a moment and stay by your side. Until the day he can not reach you.

Notes: This man needs a break. And therapy. Preferably both.

Swallow Bun believes you’re wasting your time.

You have plenty of other spirits who’d love to spend time with you. Who’d happily smile and laugh alongside you while playing a game or during a simple conversation. The options given to you were endless..so why do you continue to be with him? To choose him to be the one you spend your time with? He could not offer you a smile or be able to enjoy any games with you without his wings getting in the way. Why…why Master do you look at him so lovingly?

Are you perhaps afraid he’d leave one day?

It’s only natural you’d be. With his wish to part from this world like the autumn leaves to a tree, it’s no wonder you’d be worried enough about him. About his departure. About his death.

Regrettably, Swallow feels like it’s going to take a long time for that day to come. The day when everyone forgets about the dish and the tragedy from which he was born from. Like his wings, it kept him to this world a little longer. Ah…everything would be so much easier, so much less sorrowful if he could just chop them off. They do nothing but bring him attention he doesn’t desire, giving him more time to stay in the world he’s trying to return to.

But..if there’s one thing his wings do right…it’d be giving you joy. Swallow wasn’t sure why you liked his wings so much or why you enjoyed touching them. To him, they were only a burden he was stuck with until his eventual demise. To you, they were a wonder and something you always tried to make easier on him. He doesn’t understand it at all. He doesn’t understand you at all.

And so he decided to finally ask you the question at the hiding spot only he and you knew about. The question that had been on his mind ever since he first met you. Ever since you convinced him to wait for Yizhi’s return to find a way for his wish to be fulfilled.

“Master…why do you care for me? There’s no reason for you too..”

Perhaps he shouldn’t have asked that if the way your eyes widened were any indication. But then you surprised him with what you did next. Hugging him before telling him words he had never heard directed towards him before. It was always monster or a spring god he was not, never such passionate words with such a gentle but determined eyes.

“I love you! That’s why I want you to be happy! To smile!”

You really are full of surprises Master, just like life. Unlike life however…you never made him feel exhausted or pained. Like his existence was necessary in your eyes. To you, he was the one you love. He could feel it now, the red spreading across his face as he covered his face with his hands, hiding himself and you within the embrace of his wings as he closed them around you.

He wasn’t sure how to answer your confession, a very bold confession at that. And now that you were this close to him…Ah..Master, what should he do now? But…as he lowers his hands from his face looking at your eyes, the corners of his mouth couldn’t help but lift up slightly. Unnoticeable to many but an old friend and you.

Leaning his head down and placing it on your shoulder, he nodded. A silent acceptance of your bold confession as he slowly wrapped his shaking arms around your waist. Death may not wait for anyone but if..it was possible, he’d like to pause it for just a second..so he could enjoy this moment of peace with you.

#tale of food #the tale of food #tale of food x reader #the tale of food x reader #Swallow Bun #Swallow Bun x reader #I’m gonna wait until a certified therapist gets added into the game #No the Young Master doesn’t count #how does he sleep though #does he like cocoon himself? #~syrup writes

[sardonic-the-writer]

━"How To Summon A Demon For Dummies"

━Tw: Slight flash warning for the gif separator

Summary:

The supernatural wasnt real. Magic was a cheep party trick; all smoke and mirrors to con people out of their money. Demons were a myth created by parents to scare little kids into eating their vegetables.

That's what (Y/n) thought. Untill they were caught up with a demon of their own, who dead set on getting his way.

━Notes: The beginning of something dark

━Song: "Empty Hallways" By Steve Gabry

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

(Y/n)s fingers hurt.

The fact that someone was leaning over their shoulder munching on some brand name chips didn't make this research any easier.

For the past half hour the free-lance artist had been silently typing away at an old keyboard clogged with food crumbs and flecks of paper. Using their life long friends computer wouldn't normally be their first choice, but seeing as they had stayed longer into the night than planned it looked like (Y/n) didn't have a say in it.

They cringed lightly as Alex swallowed a mouth full of food right next to their ear; presumably to ask a question.

"Remind me exactly why you're using Wikipedia of all places to look up whatever the hell this is." (Y/n) didn't have to look up to know that her muddy blue eyes were staring at what they were typing into the computer.

"It's a commission." They responded shortly. Alex raised an eyebrow waiting for them to go on.

"I got a dm on discord. Someone wants me to do a full body of their oc or whatever and I had to do some research on what species their oc was." (Y/n) continued, clicking on the enter button as they finished their sentence and scanning the results that came up. "No other websites had information on what I was looking for so I turned to Wikipedia."

Alex snorted and backed up. Heading to her messy couch, she flopped on it and snatched the remote.

"Ah yes. Wikipedia. The place where weirdos and crazies hang out. Should be perfect for you." She said all of this in a sardonic voice, pressing some rubber buttons on the remote in her hands to pull up a video. (Y/n) meerly huffed out a slight smile. Playfully flipping them off without looking they retorted.

"Just becuase I became an artist instead of starting a tattoo shop with you doesn't make me a weirdo."

"It was our dream job though (Y/nnnnn)!" Alex whined. They just chuckled and scoured the shitty website more as she surfed the internet.

(Y/n) heard Alex let out a small gasp of excitement as well as say something along the lines of 'he uploaded!' Only after they heard the loud and sadly familliar words 'top of the mornin to ye laddies!' did a groan escape their lips.

"Really Alex? This guy again? All you watch anymore is him. Hell you even drink the coffee he sells, and you hate coffee." With a grumble they added the last part in hopes that their friend would pause the video to argue with them. At least then they could get some work done without the t.v screaming at them from behind. But she meerly shushed them and settled into the stained couch with a giddy grin.

Sighing, they tried to ignore the sounds of a sharp Irish voice from behind and the sound affects of some random video game.

Not but two minutes of listening to that God awful video had passed before they sighed in relief. At least they had found what they were looking for.

"A glitch demon." They read aloud to themself quietly. "An entity that lives and feeds on the internet, often appearing unstable and like its name suggests; a glitch."

As they read more and more, it got less interesting. You could tell this article had been written and edited by someone with less than average vocabulary and it made for a very annoying read. The only part that stuck out was a bolded paragraph in italics, practically begging to be read. Summoning The Entity- was the subtitle that hung over it boldly. That grabbed their attention fairly quick.

The words were forien and complicated to (Y/n)s curious eyes. So much in fact they felt the urge to sound it out as a pathetic attempt to understand it better.

Besides, how real could these things really be.

"Πείτε αυτά τα λόγια και θα ακολουθήσετε. Μόνος σου δεν υπάρχει πλέον δυνατότητα. Παρακολούθησε και ακολουθούσε από οθόνη σε οθόνη. Θα συναντήσεις τη μοίρα σου με μια κραυγή."

It was a strange language. One that they wernt entirely sure was real; not even to mention if they read it right. And while it left them confused, the attention of Alex from behind them had finally been grabbed.

"What are you reading there buddy." She asked with a mix of caution and curiosity. They waved a hand signaling her to come over without taking their eyes off the screen.

"I found what I was looking for." They worked some saliva around in their oddly dry mouth. "The article on glitch demons 'member? Yeah and there was a summoning part. Wanted to see what it sounded like aloud."

Looking away from the screen for the first time in a while to find Alex looking at then with worried eyes, neither adults noticed the glowing white screen fritz out into a green pattern before going back to normal.

The pair proceeded to share a look and have a silent conversation. Alex had always believed in the strange myths that came from the crumpled pages of musty books. (Y/n) was always more of a no nonsense person, dismissing those claims of UFOs and magic as the incoherent ramblings of a crackhead on the street corner.

"It's says here glitch demons, if summoned, can follow someone by electronics kept on one's person (Y/n)."

Alex had turned her attention back to the computer. Reading aloud, their face was set in a grave look that (Y/n) had to resist the urge to roll their eyes at.

"So you're telling me satan's gonna follow me home through me discord." They deadpanned, cutting off their friends words before they could speak again. "Alex you do realize these articles are written by thirteen year olds with an obsession for the paranormal right. This shit is about as real as the ninja turtles you had a crush on in the third grade."

Ignoring the comment made about the fictional vigilantes she had been infatuated with as a child, Alex huffed at (Y/n). She went on a small rant about how this wasn't a laughing manor and that they should be legitimately worried.

(Y/n) managed to calm them down by promising to turn off their phone when they took the bus home that night. It was enough to get her to stop lecturing them, so they took that as a sign to log off the computer and walk to the kitchen.

"Come on. Let's have a drink or two. I think after today we both deserve it."

As the night went on and many glasses were filled to the brim, their phone lay by the computer.

Every once in a while it would glow green.

They woke up with a splitting headache and aching body.

Blinking through an eyeful of crust and bright light, (Y/n) eventually managed to look at their surroundings with a low groan. Everything was sore all over. Like they had jogged twenty miles before getting home last night.

While dirty clothes clung to sweaty skin, they used their elbow to prop their form up on the slightly messy bed. Hair stuck up in every which way as evidence of a good night's sleep.

How exactly did they get home last night? (Y/n) vaugly remembered a lone bus ride home with droopy eyelids and breath that reeked of wiskey. Thanks to their appearance they has gotten their own corner on the bus- no one wanting to sit within three seats of the drunk mess.

Slightly wincing at the memory, they sat up. One thing that stuck around from last night's escapades, besides the clothes on their back, was the aftertaste of hot alcohol in their mouth.

Smacking thier lips together the bleary eyed artist stood up and made a slow beeline out of their room and to the bathroom down the hall. They really had to get out of these clothes.

The shower they indulged themself in didn't take long; nor did the hygienic routine after. Just a simple scrub n brush and they were already strolling back into their room with wet hair feeling ten times better.

While in the shower they had remembered how they neglected to turn off their phone when traveling home last night, but shrugged it off. It was simply to ease Alex's mind anyways, and if she didn't remember the promise what was the harm in ignoring it.

A towel rested upon their barely clothed shoulders when they approached their bed, catching any stray droplets that dared fall from tangled locks. Closing their eyes to ruffle the damp mess of hair, their ears perked up.

It was quiet.

Way too quiet.

(Y/n) brought their movements to a still so they could look around. They hadn't noticed it in their slightly hungover haze, but it seemed that the power was out.

Fans had stopped running their usual white noise, something that hit them hard in the midst of the summers morning. That was the first thing they noticed.

Then it was the black face of their monitor staring back at them.

With a string of small 'shit shit shit shit shit shit's making its way from their lips, they scrambled over to their drawing tablet. As an artist that worked from home doing odd jobs here and there, all of their work was on that goddamn computer. And if they didn't save every last piece of art- well you could kiss that much needed cash goodbye.

After pressing down on the power button hard enough to leave an imprint of the companys logo on their thumb, (Y/n) waited with an anxious demeanor for it to start up.

The feeling that coursed through them after seeing the start up screen beginning to run its usual course was akin to coming up for air in a pool.

If I'm being honest though I think the thing that threw them off was the small green hello that popped up instead of a lockscreen.

(Y/n) blinked once. You could argue it was from the water droplets that were still cascading down their face, but more realistically it was becuase of the five small neon letters looking at them

I think what put them off more was the fact it seemed to be waiting for a response.

With much trepidation, they typed back.

h̷e̴l̵l̸o̵

what's this

n̴o̸ ̴n̷e̸e̴h̷d̸ ̶t̸a̵ ̷b̶e̶ ̷s̴o̸ ̴h̸a̶r̴s̶h̸ ̸d̷o̸l̶l̶

Furrowing their brows together slightly at the weird way of typing, the questioned this unknown stranger about it.

what's with the font

ā̶̹c̸͔̒c̶̡̣̾͂ȩ̸̮̾n̵̟͆t̷̫̲̓

who are you

i̷m̶m̸a̸ ̵b̷i̶t̷ ̵h̷u̶r̵t̴ ̴y̵e̷ ̵d̴o̴n̸'̷ ̸r̴e̷h̵m̷e̶m̴b̸e̸r̷ ̴m̸e̶.̶ ̴y̸a̸ ̶d̵i̸d̵ ̶c̵a̶l̴l̴ ̷f̶e̴r̶ ̷m̴e̶ ̴a̶f̷t̷e̴h̴r̶ ̸a̶l̵l̵ ̷(̵y̸/̶n̸)̷ ̷

how do you know my name

The past few minutes of pure silence was interested by (Y/n) clutching the end of their work desk so hard they heard a shrill creak. Despite audible proof of the strain on the furniture they didn't let up untill the three dots behind 'they are typing' ceased to a hault.

c̶u̸t̶e̷.̴ ̷i̸l̴l̶ ̷c̶a̷t̵c̵h̸ ̴y̸e̷ ̸a̶r̵o̴u̷n̴ ̸l̷a̵s̸s̷.̷ ̸y̴o̸u̴l̴l̶ ̷s̷e̴e̷ ̶m̵e̶h̶ ̶s̵o̶o̵n̸ ̶e̷n̶o̸u̸g̷h̵ ̸

And with that the screen resumed to its normal state. Seconds later the power came back on with it.

Despite the regular noise of their everyday life starting back up again (Y/n) didn't move. They just kept staring wide eyed at their screen as if something was about to jump out of it.

"Well fuck. Maybe those crackheads are right."

Finally done. This took like five hours. You bastards better like it /lh

#anti x reader #anti #antisepticeye x reader #antisepticeye #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye x reader #septic ego x reader #septic ego #septic egos x reader #septic egos #septic #egos #egos x reader #ego #ego x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #(y/n)

[bengiyo]

get to know me ask game

Thanks for tagging me @telomeke

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

Growing up the way I did gave me a few complexes about my appearance. It's something I'm still working through.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

I played Academic Games for most of my academic career and finally won a first-place trophy in Propaganda in my final year at Nationals (Hilariously, one of the games I used to hate). I was also part of a pickup team that challenged the reigning champions in 3 of our 4 games. I can make a lot of our regular meals without having to refer to recipes much. I am actually a strong swimmer. As much as I love series, I find it's easier to share a movie with a friend, and I love my friends! It's why I got a huge sectional! So many of my friends don't live near me, so I travel a lot now.

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

I realized I was ace-spectrum about a decade ago, and so I haven't really dated someone in a long time. I'm a slow starter, and haven't gelled with someone who was okay with that in a very long time. I've had many an old friend, though! I have lots of best friends of more than 10 years! My parents are still going strong at 36 years and are having the best time as retirees. I've dated a best friend; it didn't work. I give advice to friends, but it's usually because they ask. I am mostly made of online friends, and I even met some last week!

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

So, I was a Boy Scout, so I have done a lot of these just by happenstance.

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

I'm an American in the South. If you can't sleep in a moving vehice you will suffer. I'm like the dad friend, in that I get asked for help with the most specific shit. I live by the quote: "Be brave enough to be kind." Who doesn't like Mexican food??

I think the whole squad has already been tagged, but tag me back if you do this!

#tag meme

[silly-inky]

So I'm working on this fan fiction inspired from @penbwl post about a bowuigi prompt (I will repost it here if I am allowed) this is what i have so far, still a work in progress but yeah

*Kamek POV 3rd person*

"Everything is preped and ready your maliciousnous" The old Magikoopa spoke firmly, with a hint of excitement in his voice. Stepping into the Hall as the guards shut the Giant doorsbehind the old man.

Kamek, the right hand man and royal adviser to the king, made his way through the massive throne room, following the Crimson Carpet with golden trims, allowing himself to be guided towards the King.

"Good. I hope that this will run smoothly Kamek, we don't want to miss such an opportunity" The Kings grugh voice boomed throughout the hall.

Sat a top his Large Throne, that was made as intimidating as King himself was. It was made of stone and metal, and encrusted with the most vibrant of Amythests and Ruby's, hints of the Crimson Lether padding, cushioning the Throne could be seen from certain angles where the kings massive frame was not blocking the view. Spikes pertruding out of the top of the throne, Imitating the spike the king himself adorned on the back of his shell. Truly a Bold statement, but fitting for the King of The Koopa Kingdom.

"I assure you that the plan will run smoothly on my part, I have made sure of it. " Kamek promised the King, finally standing before the Throne, after his long journey through the Hall, almost leaving him breathless.

It was so much easier when Kamek was in his prime, still young and spry, but that was years ago now, in fact the last time he could recall even being able to run was when the King was still a child under the Magikoopa's care, his highness was always a bit of a trouble maker, so he was always chasing after him. The quick trip down memory lane made Kamek sigh with slight discontent, although he would never say it to the King, he missed looking after the little prince.

"Anyways!" Kamek said, snapping himself out of his funk "it should be ready for next week your grumpiness"

This plan had been in the works for well over a month, as gathering all the necessary research and practicing the spell was time consuming, even for such an experienced Mage such as Kamek. But non the less it should work, Bowser had full trust in his advisor, and had even more confidence in his brilliant plan.

Normally Bowser's plans where foiled by Mario, being the no good “Goodie too-shoes Hero” he is, but this one definitely was not only fool proof, but dare he say Mario proof!

You see, Bowser had come up with a plan to get into his arch nemesis’s head, well in a matter of speaking. So Kamek did some diging, to make this a reality. The spell that he was to perform on the King would allow him to be able to read the mind of the first person he touches, which of course would be Mario.

How would Bowser do this you ask? Simple, an event, to be more precise the annual sports tournament was next week, the Kings beloved Princess Peach would organise and host these events to try and ease tensions between kingdoms and try and grow relations and bonds with others outside her own kingdom, as well as, some good old fashioned fun never hurt anybody, right?

Anyways back to the point, the plan would be, that Bowser would allow Mario to win a match of something, probably tennis, and when he would go to shake his hand at the end of the match, as a sign of good sportsmanship, BOOM. The spell would be in effect, and he could ascertain information about the Mushroom Kingdom, the Mario Bro's personal life, which could be very useful down the line.

But for this to work, the King had to put his one pride aside, which was not easy for him. As much as Bowser hated loosing, he and everyone else knows he would never show an ounce of sportsmanship towards Mario if he had won the match.

" I can't wait! Oh to hear I get on Mario's nerves when i beat him in the games, that would be brilliant!" Bowser exclaimed with a harty laugh

Bowser then frowned at the thought of even pretending to be civil with his rival, even if he didn't have a plan in place. But in order to attend the tournament he would have to sign a temporary peace treaty, so that way he couldn't harm any of the Mushroom Kingdoms residents (on purpose anyways) or other people at the event. But hearing Mario's agitated thoughts would make up for that.

"Will the Koppalings being just attending, or will they take part in the event with you this year your Moodiness?"

Kamek asked, attempting to break the silence the King had left after his chuckle

"What? Oh. No they will not, they would rather stay at the castle than spend time with their own man, pssh. Jr will be though so do make sure everything is prepared for him as well"

Bowser said caught off guard after his train of thought was broke.

"Very well, should I tell them about your plan?"

Kamek questioned again

"No. As much as i love the little twerps, they tend to get a bit to excited when i do this sort of stuff, we can't have the plan foiled even if done unintentionally"

Bowser said, feeling slightly guilty for keeping his children out of the loop

"Alright, if that is all i will take my leave"

"Yes that will be all, you are dismissed"

Bowser said waving his hand, shooing the MagiKoopa away. Allowing him self to slip back into his thoughts of presumably wiping the floor the Mushroom Kingdoms" Hero"

Kamek let out a sigh after exiting the throne room, as much as he ha faith in the plan, he can't help but feel like something is going to get in the way. No time to dwel on those thoughts though, he has to make sure Jr has all of his needs sports gear, and if any if it needs replacing.

#bowuigi #super mario