#Then his phone goes off

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 19

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There’s a couple things about FF that might be good to know at this point.

1. There are few things in the world he hates doing more than asking for clarification or admitting he doesn’t understand / know something. The thought of going up to someone and admitting that he hasn’t perfectly comprehended the situation upon the first explanation is something makes his stomach twist like he’d just eaten Mango-Habanero ice cream.

He has figured out his own math theorems in the pursuit of not having to ask the math teacher to explain he doesn’t understand. He got lost in an Ikea once for over 6 grueling hours where he considered making a home there and living among the display rooms until his grandma grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to safety (the food court) and let him regain his strength (eat Swedish meatballs). He, to this day, is not sure about one of his foreign language friend’s names (how embarrassing he just keeps waiting for someone else to say it but they go by some insane nickname).

So he has become a master of piecing shit together on his own. He sometimes gets it wrong (Andrew, god how embarrassing) but for the most part 8 times out of 10 he can get to the right answer if he just has a couple pieces to work with. No one had ever actually explained to him how Exy works and he was too embarrassed to ask after the third week of practice in middle school so he just pieced together what he was and was not allowed to do through the art of trial and error. He’s even mostly pieced out the rules for the other positions.

So with the information he has gotten through people being bound and determined to talk in foreign languages in front of him he has an idea about the tenuous situation some of the older Foxes find themselves in.

He’s heard Kevin Day and Jean Moreau talk in French.

He’s heard that the anxiety in both of their voices as they talked about their futures and owing 80% of their salaries to the ‘Moriyamas’ and how nervous they were about getting on professional teams or else they’d be killed.

Captain Neil and Andrew are not always using Russian to talk dirty.

He’s heard Andrew soothe Captain Neil’s worries about playing for a professional team. He’s heard Captain Neil mention that at least ‘Ichirou’ would likely just kill him and not make a game out of it like his father did.

Organized Crime might have more to do with Exy than FF had originally thought.

(He had thought it. Plenty of times he had thought it but his Gran had warned him that he was overthinking things. That he wasn’t playing a sport invented by the Mafia. That he had caffeinated coffee instead of decaf. “It’s going to be okay sweetie. Just take a deep breath.”)

This leads into the second thing you should know at this point.

2.  Before he had signed with Wymack he had known the broad strokes of Captain Neil’s life. There had been a lot of news articles about it and Gran (bless her) loved trashy gossip magazines.

After he had signed with the Foxes he had done a bit of a deep dive on as many of their controversies as he could find. There’d been things from brawls on the court (worrying), player overdoses (concerning), a straight up MURDER (Oh god), and the very public breaking of the King of Exy’s arm resulting in his suicide (Warranted, that wacko was going to take off Captain Neil’s HEAD.)

But the thing that had made him actually a little bit, dare he admit, excited to go to Palmetto was the fact that Captain Neil was there.

For someone who froze for almost a decade, who just took it and didn’t have the balls to even react? Neil Josten is an inspiration.

This is someone who got away, who lived a life completely unlike FF’s, someone who knew how to run and more impressively someone who learned how to FIGHT. Captain Neil was being hunted but he still ripped people to shreds in interviews. Captain Neil was probably more scared of the Butcher than FF had been of anything in his entire life but Captain Neil was way braver than FF could ever hope to be.

Captain Neil was taken and tortured but he still fought. FF had seen the scars and Captain Neil is right to wear them proudly (though based on some conversations he has unfortunately overheard he is sure Andrew may have a role in Neil’s positive feelings about them).

FF had thought that he was being lead to his death down in a basement of a club (Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t-) and he just trailed right behind the two of them without even an illusion of a fight.

Neil Abram Josten was a bit of a personal hero.

He’s proud to call him Captain Neil. He wishes Andrew hadn’t been there when Greg had mentioned wanting autographs because FF wants an autograph from Captain Neil but now Andrew has probably mentioned it to Neil.

Long story short, FF had looked into a lot of details on Captain Neil’s case.

Including two of the Butcher’s top men who were still on the loose.

Romero Malcolm and Jackson Plank.

He keeps his presence low but no matter how many times he blinks the man grumbling in Italian next to him continues to be Romero Malcolm.

Moreover Romero Malcolm continues to grumble about the fact that he is having a hard time finding ‘Nathaniel’ and that he’ll have to grab one of ‘The Wesninski brat’s friends’ to draw him out.

FF is a recently confirmed friend of Captain Neil.

FF who is standing next to this man, with his dick out, and trying to remain as invisible as possible.

After two shakes (Yes he was watching but only because he had to! He wonders briefly if he goes to the FBI if they would accept a description of Romero Malcolm’s penis for the wanted poster? Probably not but it is BURNED into his retinas.)

He watches as Romero tucks, zips, and then bypasses the sink entirely.

FF shivers at how unhygienic that is. Who RAISED him?

The door shuts and FF needs to get out of here ASAP but his hands are shaking with the sudden adrenaline of ’One of the FBI’s Most Wanted just took a piss next to me and is looking for me friend’. He pulls his phone from his pocket and ducks into one of the stalls. Even if there’s no door it’ll at least FEEL a little safer, a little more private. He needs to warn Neil, Warn Andrew, and warn-

The door to the bathroom SLAMS open and music blares in (palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy-) and his phone slips out of his hands and into the toilet. There are footsteps coming towards him and FF digs deep.

He’s in ultra stealth mode. He is the wall behind the wallpaper. Mantis shrimp can only dream of the color he becomes, the United States military have the CIA on the look out for him because he’s fallen off all conventional forms of radar and tracking.

He is a bargain fruit platter on a dessert table at a kid’s birthday party.

He is ULTRA stealth.

Romero’s gaze glides over him.

Then the man leaves (STILL DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS).

His heart is hammering in his chest but he manages to reach down and grab his phone. Well, Coach Wymack had gotten the extended warranty at least. (“Do you know what these fuckers do to phones? Josten crushed his last year in a fight with the Baseball team captain.”)

His phone’s extended dip into the toilet water had not done it any favors in working properly.

Well fuck.

He wipes his phone down the best he can. He wipes his phone down with some toilet paper before cramming it into his pocket (Sorry Nicky, he’ll wash the toilet water pants if they survive).

He sees a flyer on the wall of the bathroom and starts to think of a plan.

He rushes out of the bathroom (he still washes his hands because he will not have something in common with a man on the FBI’s most wanted list and he just dipped his hand into a CLUB TOILET) and clocks Nicky’s wild arm movements and WORSE clocks Romero just 10 clubbers away.

He sees Romero’s eyes lock onto Nicky and a smile that terrifies him.

He’s out of Ultra Stealth Mode even if every atom in his body wants to run.

He is so stressed and panicked that he has gone beyond his body’s ability to process that so all that is left is determination. He’s got a head full of a half-baked plan, a hand going to his pocket, a second hand on the only ‘weapon’ he has on him, and a stomach full of acid.

He’s pulling his phone out of his pocket before he can really let himself think about it and walking up next to where Romero is standing. He holds his toilet water phone up to his ear and does the one weird social anxiety thing that he had never done before.

He pretends to be on a phone call.

“Hey Captain Neil,” he says and in the corner of his eye he can see Romero’s gaze shift from Nicky (surrounded by an adoring public, covered in sweat and therefore difficult to grab - a difficult target) to himself (alone, shorter, and probably looking like he’s about to pass out). “Yeah I think I’m going to take a break outside after I grab quick drink and then a water at the bar.” He says because he has to be the easier target and he has to go to the bar. “Yeah, yeah, okay I’ll mention it to that bartender guy.” He says and pretends to hang up.

He turns and he walks towards the bar and feels his pulse in his throat go to the beat of the music (success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not).

He only knows about the alley because in the car ride to Sweetie’s Nicky had mentioned that he wouldn’t let FF’s first time be out there. He had been embarrassed but it was the only way he knew to get Romero out of the club and away from where he could hurt Captain Neil or anyone else in the pursuit of that.

He spots the bartender who had gotten the drinks for their table and his mind completely blanks on the name but the bartender sees him and smiles. “Oh you’re Neil and Andrew’s new friend! What can I help you with? I thought you were-“

“Hi, yes I am Captain Neil and Andrew’s friend.” He says a little loudly because he can feel Romero behind him and he does NOT want the man to know anything about where Captain Neil was.

“Captain Neil? Oh wow that’s adorable.” The man gushes. “What can I help you with? I won’t ask for ID for one of their friends.” He winks.

“I’d like to order the uh…” he tries to remember the exact drink name from the flyer, “…the deluxe chocolate martini?” He asks and knows he got it right when the bartender’s expression shifts ever so slightly.

“Oh yeah, how do Andrew and Neil feel about that?” He asks and oh great a coded conversation. It’s nice to actually be having a real one of these for once instead of just perceiving normal conversations to have hidden meanings.

“They don’t know. They probably prefer that I order it instead of Nicky or Aaron.” He lets his eyes dart to the wide where he believes Romero is watching him.

“I don’t know if that’s true.” The bartender says, “Nicky knows how to handle a drink and Aaron’s not a lightweight either.” He adds.

FF struggles to find a coded way to say ‘It’s not that someone’s hitting on me too hard like the flyer mentioned. It’s that there’s a mafia hitman in your club.’

Finally after a moment, “It’s not the usual kind of drink they get.” He tries and the bartender looks confused by the statement, dammit. He struggles to find a different way to say it before the bartender smiles.

“Y’know you’re really cute.” He reaches under the bar top and grabs a piece of paper and a pen. “How about you write down your number for me cutie? We can meet up sometime.” He says. “I’ll get started on that chocolate martini for you.” He says.

HE COULD KISS THIS MAN.

“I’d like that.” He says.

He writes out a quick message on the small note paper.

‘Armed. After Neil. Looked at Nicky. I’m going to the back alley. Phone is dead.’

The bartender comes back and looks at his note. “We’re out of chocolate martini mix, can I get you something-“ He hopes the club lighting obscures how pale the man got, “something else?” He asks and FF can SEE his pulse.

“Can I just get some water then?” He asks.

The bartender nods and pulls up his phone and hopefully is dialing the police and hands FF a water. His hand grabs hold of FF’s “You don’t need to go out into the alley. You could hang in the backroom with me?” He offers.

There really are some kind people in the world.

“I think it’s better if I’m not in here for a bit.” He says back and honestly he needs this kindness and he has a spare bit of courage, “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.” He says.

The bartender swallows, “It’s Roland.” He says.

“Thanks Roland.” He twists the cap off of the water bottle and takes a sip.

He turns and pretends not to notice how Romero is trying to be inconspicuous pretending to be on his phone.

He makes his way over to the alley door and notices that Romero is tracking his movements but is not following him like he did to the bar.

His heart is pounding and he can’t BELIEVE he’s doing this. He wants to run, wants to hide somewhere, wants to become imperceptible but…but…

He opens the door to the alley as the bass of the remixed song finishes.

(You can do anything you set your mind to, man)

He lets the door slam behind him and he is alone in the alley.

He was not expecting a van to come to a screeching halt in front of the entrance and for a different face to appear climbing out of the car.

Jackson Plank.

FF looks at the ugly smile on the man as he walks towards him with a knife in hand.

Okay now what genius?

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

5/26/23: EDITED. Can’t believe I forgot to put the Captain in front of Neil’s name on the meme. I’m blaming the accidental early awakening.

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​ @insectsgetcooked​ @angry-kid-with-no-money​ @queer-crows​ @lillyndra​ @themugglemudperson​ @readertodeath​ @apileofpillows​ @mortalsbowbeforeme​ @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio​ @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe​ @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

Lillyndra it worked this time!!!

#Fluent Freshman AU #Is it a songfic chapter if it's only 3 lines? Experts aren't sure #Did I listen to lose yourself a lot while writing this chapter? Perhaps #If Nora mentioned something about Jackson or Romero in her extras I did not read it #Also gonna be honest here and state that I forgot the likely year that AFTG happened in and this is happening in 2010 #So I guess this AU also involves a slight time shift #Andrew and Neil may have gotten lost in one another's eyes a bit down in the speakeasy #Really they're just being polite to get all of their PDA out of the way while FF is taking what might be the piss of a lifetime. #(They have no idea how accurate that might be) #Andrew is all set to kiss one of his favorite of Neil's freckles (yes he has ordered them from favorite to lesser favorite) #Then his phone goes off #He looks and it's Roland #Andrew: WTF is Roland trying to call me? #Nicky is busy being the Dancing Queen. If someone plays ABBA he will absolutely scream rn #I had considered a whole sequence of FF trying to get Nicky and Aaron to the safety of the backroom in Eden's #And Nicky just keeps reappearing on the dancefloor while FF is looking for Aaron #I was gonna use that simpsons meme where Moe throws out Barney and then Barney is just right back in the bar #But it got a little too crazy #But just know in this AU Nicky is canonically an excellent escape artist #Maybe Erik went through a bit of a magician phase and Nicky was DELIGHTED to be asked to be his assistant #Maybe that's how they got together #The inherent ROMANCE of magician and assistant #I don't remember if they ever really said in the books or nora's content #If I'm rambling because I forgot to shut off my alarm (Memorial Day 4-day weekend baby) #The fate of FF's phone may have been caused by some slight anger towards my own #RIP FF's Wymack phone (July 2010 - November 2010) #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andreil #FF - Pt.19

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay I know reading cap's mind doesn't work but what if Billy's mind wasn't as protected. Like imagine if the jl got shunted into Billy's mind (idk he wasn't answering his comm so they went to check and got waylaid by sivana or something) and like.

Captain marvel, THEIR all powerful world famous behemoth of a man, sitting at a little fancy tea table, sipping from a floral tea cup: what are you doing here

#captain marvel #shazam #dc captain marvel #captain marvel dc #billy batson #justice league #dc comics #Jla #Old style rotary phone goes off (one of six along the back wall) #Cap gets up and goes to answer it everyone's listening eagerly #'no sorry' *click* #Wonder woman: who was that?? #Cap: *moving back to his seat* your father #1k

[vladdyissues]

They could have been BFFs

#danny phantom #vlad masters #jazz fenton #meta #danny breaks down vlad's front door to find his arch nemesis & his big sister #wearing matching pink bathrobes & spa masks & painting each other's nails #while having an absolutely incomprehensible conversation about medieval eastern european architecture #(does jazz even have any friends? is she one of those lonely gifted kids?) #she & vlad are both so chatty & gregarious. same strong/overbearing bulldozer personalities #their mall crawls would be epic #& with jazz's penchant for psychology vlad would be an endless source of intrigue #vlad sobbing on the phone‚ eyeliner smeared down his cheeks: i just don't know what to do jasmine #jazz: *sighs and pulls her dsm-v off the shelf* #whenever jazz has had her fill of her family's insanity #she goes & spends the weekend with vlad #because his brand of insanity is different & she needs a break #plus vlad makes the best roszke

[victimized-martyr]

digging thru south park history sure is fascinating. I know Liane’s whole intersex bit was hilariously retconned years later in 200+201, but it’s interesting to know that 1# she was a fucking playboy centerfold and 2# I know for damn sure that Playboy is Kenny’s.

#south park #eric cartman #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #90s #*takes notes that a key thing abt bein a Cartman is havin rockin eyebrows* #how many times has kenny stumbled across a Liane in his mags and shove them in Cartman’s face #the next day w/ stan and kyle just to fuck w/ him.. messed up dude jfkfkfjfjf #yea i know i’m just copying from my twt but (understandably) not everyone here goes on twt #I don’t think sp artists knew how to draw more believable poses with those faces so the proportions look. VERY off #as we’ve seen from phone destroyer/ modern seasons they found ways to include dynamic poses believablely thank god hhh #like look at this liane and the pinup witch liane from phone destroyer. what a HUGE difference!!

[highfunctioningfleshrule63]

hey, your video compilation of 4chan post about shield is a great ressource for fandom psychology. Interesting to see another user who lurk the wrestling board and use tumblr. Did you ever work on compilation of the tumblr fandom during the peak of the shield era ? I did not research it yet. xoxo

glad someone liked that video, only in times when im super fixated on something will i end up searching through the 4chan archives for more content...unfortunately 4chan vernacular tends to get a laugh out of me (if it isnt absolute lowtier content, had to scrape through a lot of that). the shield stuff i tried to get from when it was at its peak and you'll see posts on there from 2013+, but i also got modern stuff now bc the boardspeak actually changed with it.

ironically it is way easier to deepdive and compile stuff from 4chan bc it has a much better archival system than tumblr; ive also looked for lots of old stuff on deviantart due to the crossover but i found that it has a pretty shitty way of archiving/sorting older posts (just like on here. ive been on tumblr since 13 so i know what sorts of areas to look for, but its still very hard to find it directly on here. i havent spent as much time as i did getting those posts for that video so i can try harder.)

fandom psychology is interesting to me too so im happy you saw my video with that angle. ive collected lots of old shield fangirl content off of sites like weheartit and pinterest (ironically those are often better at keeping images up for longer periods of time) too but i didnt know if i should make a comp, maybe i will. i also looked through random forums and places like lolcow dot farms (which only really granted one of the screenshots...not too much discussion over there for good or bad. i was hoping to find discussion abt shieldfangirls or wrestling rpf but surprisingly they didnt think to make a "point and laugh" thread abt those topics). i find it interesting how much shieldrelated psychosis was on both sides of the spectrum (tumblr vs 4chan)....i could talk more on it but im a little brainless and sleep deprived rn

heres some extras i had that didnt make the cut (plus just some of my favorites):

and these were from a thread talking abt the modern stereotypical tumblr wrestling fan (specifically talking abt aedubs young bucks fans/the elite fans)

(*fangirl in this is a term im using loosely of course)

#surprisingly there is actually LESS shield blingees than dx or cm punk blingees. that at least i could find. theres a large number of #desktop background edits from deviantart and content like the fanfic edits/“outfits i would wear to meet the shield”/ogflowercrown phone bg #collages. and the like. i could compile all this shit i just didnt think it mattered to anyone LOL #sorry for the long post everyone #the most interesting thing abt the shields hayday and eventual fall on 4chan was 1) how many guys unironically loved seth up until he #“turned shoot faggot”/or the first knee injury. he was a fan favorite on there even with the contrarian posters saying otherwise (most of #4chan is just being. the contrarian so that tracks). and 2) the huge divide between guys who hated ambrose (usually bc he was over with #female fans...theres still that divide with how straight men dont understand favs among women. also goes along w my noted difference in fav #among queer men/women etc etc - but they would mask this by saying they hated that he was a jobber (true) or his inring technique was slopp #) and guys who adored ambrose bc he was a promo guy...they loved his early promos/“he just like me fr”.. (and a large grouping of dudes who #would call him cute). i dunno just stuff i noticed #also. obviously a lotta mox hate due to dickriding cornette #the shields peak is interesting to me so i might continue to compile more shit like this when i get the time. i have the shield dvds too #and wanted to do a LONG journey of p1rat1n6 all their scenes off of pcock while i still have my sub. but it would take a while #also. love ur acc bc i too enjoy thinkin abt the fem versions of dude wrestlers #fleshclipstag #tactical-asks

[dayurno]

omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

#i know kayleighs sermons go hard kevin and riko are sitting there head bowed like yes maam….. #i havent yet decided where they both go to college in this au #but i think for one that the nest still exists and jean still gets sold to the moriyamas but it’s the main branch now #however without riko there jean’s experience in the nest is. Hard but not brutal #anyway i think riko would apply to edgar allen but he would be rejected on the account of being second branch raised by foreigners #but how horrifying to think about jean in the nest bossing riko around right. kind of a slay though #i think kevin goes to palmetto still Because he wants to reconnect with wymack and riko is very divided but ultimately chooses usc #because they’re the best and he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to kevin and his father #also i imagine his time in usc sucks a lot for the first months because it’s so different LOL #and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach #but :) hed make friends. maybe even… captain jeremy knox….. whos to say? #! #meanwhile kevin (a normal boy at this point) has to deal with the foxes being a trainwreck and the new serial killer dad recruit #he’s got a lot on his hands #ANYWAY this is entirely unrelated and indulgent but i want this kevjean to meet so bad #riko on the phone: we played against the ravens that jean moreau is a scoundrel and a monster and he almost broke my arm kevin: woaw #he’s gonna be so pissed off three years down the line when jean moreau shows up at christmas dinner with the days #you think theres any worse dynamic for jean and riko than master and slave? of course. Brothers in law #wouldnt you just kill to be a little fly buzzing around that christmas supper #asks #riko #kevin&riko

[aroaceleovaldez]

the way the cabin counselor system at chb works is so funny to me, especially the later into the series it gets. Annabeth is cabin counselor at 12 because she’s been there the longest, so her siblings who are literally all older than her have to listen to her. Piper challenges Drew to be cabin counselor only to immediately leave, making Drew the counselor again. Nyssa and Jake play hot potato with being counselor only to pawn it off onto their presumably second-youngest and newest sibling (Leo), who then also immediately dips. There can be multiple counselors at one time with no reason required other than “Eh, we felt like it.” Theoretically there is no upper limit to counselors per cabin. Everyone is cabin counselor. You are cabin counselor. What is happening.

#pjo #percy jackson #chb #Camp Half-Blood #Technically so long as there is a co-counselor either counselor doesn’t even need to be actively attending camp #(ex: piper and drew since piper is off. wherever at any given time. and drew goes to school in brooklyn which implies shes not year-round) #which means technically a cabin could appoint someone who’s not even there as cabin counselor #cabins start trying to elect their roman siblings as counselors #hecate cabin names Alabaster as their counselor and force him to phone in to meetings against his will #I like to believe the Hephaestus cabin has declared everyone in their cabin is a counselor #and whenever someone needs to do a counselor job it's either nose goes or whoever's available #they rotate who goes to meetings #all decision making is finalized by Harley #they dont do lights out cause they dont have a singular person to call it. they just say goodnight and then proceed to work on projects

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

#tragically had to skip the 'are you afraid of me' exchange i love at the start bc. this scene is Long #super dark times #josh templeton #zach taylor #sam edits #btw i'm firmly in the 'Josh didn't kill John' camp. bc to me THIS scene is the point that... makes the most sense as Josh's breaking point/ #'villain turn' if that's what you'd want to call it. because this is really when Josh... sort of 'officially' loses Zach. from early on in #the movie it becomes clear how much Zach is like... an anchor for him—the way Josh is just fucking *chanting* his name in distress during #the Daryl accident. The way Josh begs Zach to believe him that it was an accident. The way Josh turns to Zach for answers/clarity/direction #Like even if we want to take a cynical approach and think of it as Josh just latching onto Zach in the Daryl situation because he was There #rather than that being an established thing w/ them... in the aftermath of that same incident Josh is still looking to/depending on him! #Josh self isolates at first... but after they talk & Zach tells him they shouldn't act weird Josh goes back to school. (yes #he lashes out there because He's Dealing With The Crushing Guilt but *all* of 'em are acting off then—Charlie specifically calls attention #to the idea they all probably are) Josh goes to the party just like Zach said they should and is *visibly confused* when Zach seems mad to #see him there. He goes to Zach's house to talk and you can SEE how caught off guard he is by what Zach says. Even though the script version #of this scene is VERY different from the final version I do think this one bit of description from it is... insightful: 'Josh seems sincere #almost vulnerable. But Zach is too focused to see it.' LIKE in this scene Zach is already convinced Josh has lost it! He's trying to act #more neutral about it (claiming they could just 'draw a line') but we saw his phone call with Charlie. Because of his own guilt-fueled #paranoia—something shown pretty clearly through the assorted dream sequences and like tht scene of him walking in the hall hearing people #gossip about Daryl—it seems like everything lines up too well! that '*of course* it's Josh and what if it's *been* Josh all along and well #then the role *I* played in the situation really isn't *my* fault because it was all *Josh* and...' etc. even if that's more subconscious #But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although #Zach says he isn't... i mean he fucking stumbles on the word 'afraid' (like... he hangs on the 'f' sound a moment too long to sound natural #its very subtle but like Noticeable). But Josh sees right through him. Zach doesn't trust him anymore. Zach thinks he's the bad guy. the #monster. Josh feeling like he lost the last person he had in his corner feels like the most realistic thing to... push him over the #edge. like that's a compelling tragedy to me—the idea that these two poorly coping with the Daryl situation in these separated ways where #they *aren't* talking/communicating ends up CREATING the feedback loop that makes everything get worse and worse. #But for that to be the case... it wouldn't make sense for Josh to have just randomly killed John before this scene. I think it's a more #interesting story if certain things really ARE just coincidences but it's that Zach's paranoia won't let him see that 🤷

[spawksstuff]

The De Completionist Checklist Part 17 (Final)

(Excludes all Star Trek entities)

1967 - 1998

Note on the dates: I will mostly be going by when a show/movie was shot rather than its release date. Variety Magazine will be given first priority.

My score: 6 / 10

Need To Find: The Silent Force – The Judge, Owen Marshall – Make No Mistake, Afternoon Playbreak – I Never Said Goodbye, The Cowboys- David Done It

Favorite Movie: Both for different reasons: Night of the Lepus and Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars

Favorite TV Show:  The Littlest Hobo - Runaway

Favorite Scene: When he’s using he phone in “Littlest Hobo” and starts talking the answering machine: “I beg your pardon?....egah another machine…30 seconds?.”

“No Viking I the bagel.” (Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars)

“Some genius smart alecky kid at NASA thought it would be a ton of yuks…”  (Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars)

#deforest kelley #de completionist checklist #final #room 222 #nice father son scene #night of the lepus #look the bunnies did the best they could to look ferocious #watch the rifftrax version #the littlest hobo-runaway #dave martindale got off light #toby jack would've shoved that cane right up his- #would've deserved it too #who tells a kid i'm getting married so i won't have time for you #good thing de and the dog are cute #“well whose phone number is this dave or bobby” #brave little toaster goes to mars #“he's a legend” #“you sent back some cool pictures of mars” #fitting final character for de

[doecrossing]

just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life

#my bf's family was in town to see the eclipse #he was like 'hey do you wanna get dinner with us after?' #and he's met my entire family so even though i didnt want to it was only fair. #anyway his uncle picks us up at my apartment. his sister is in the car. #no one asks who or how i am and i do not get introduced nor have the chance to introduce myself #for like a good 3-5 minutes. off to a bad start. #we get to the restaurant. a pizza place. his family is already seated. #no one except for his grandparents acknowledge me. they are the only 2 people to talk to me directly for the entire meal. #his grandfather asks some stuff about my life. i answer normally. he veers off into tangents that i can only respond to with 'haha' #or a smile and nod bc they are so personal that i literally have nothing to add #the children in the family spill water everywhere. there is yelling in the public restaurant while my bf goes and gets napkins #like a normal person might do #despite being at a pizza place everyone decides to order an individual dish instead of something to share #this might be fine if there were only 4 of us. there were 10. #they get mad when the food takes over an hour to come #at this point i wished i had ordered a cocktail #his uncle is the most awkward person ive ever met. he quotes outdated memes out loud. #at one point everyone except for me and my bf was on their phones #his grandfather shows me vulgar facebook posts #what is WRONG with people #im going to shower and change into my jammies and have a drink and watch something stupid #i need to cleanse myself of this whole. thing. #txt

[p-antalons]

bad bob is the type of famous person who wakes up one day at like age 57 and goes “i should write an autobiography” and alicia just tries to smother him with a pillow because it’s 3 am and he woke her up to share this revelation. the next morning he immediately starts writing it, only to realize he literally knows nothing about writing and has to take a step back and call an agent for help. jack doesn’t find out he’s writing one bc bob has forgotten to mention it to everyone he knows so he literally finds out through twitter with about half the hockey world, including all of bob’s famous retired friends who all send confused congratulations. he also announces that he’s going on a book tour with that ON TWITTER and immediately picks the weirdest set of cities to visit. after tweeting that, he immediately goes on a fishing trip and can’t be reached for about nine hours, as his phone is being blown up by everyone and everything. alicia thinks the entire affair is a comedy and encourages it

#jack doesn’t find out until tater mentions that he hopes it gets a russian translation at practice #so he literally finds out via tater and goes to call his dad who doesn’t pick up #and then he calls his mom who just laughs the entire phone call and says nothing helpful #one of the cities bob picked is kent’s hometown #not on purpose he threw pins at a map and it happened to land there #and it’s during the off season so kent HAS to go bc one of his cousin’s kids is obsessed #they take a horrifying picture where both of them look like they’re being held at gunpoint as his baby cousin is beaming #all the aces chirp kent about it #bitty is delighted by this entire ordeal and his parents drive up to go to bob’s signing in georgia #it turns out to be an incredibly well written book and no one has any idea how #omgcp #omgcheckplease #check please #bad bob #bob zimmermann

[age-of-moonknight]

“Blackmail,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #4.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

#Marvel #Marvel 616 #Marvel comics #Moon Knight vol. 9 #Moon Knight 2021 #Moon Knight comics #Moon Knight #Marc Spector #this GUY I swear #the cracked screen…the fact that his phone is still only 75% charged #the fact that he’s making the same noises I do when my alarm goes off but with the added DRAMA of sleeping in a sarcophagus #(and in his Mr. Knight gloves???) #I love this page so much

[enbysiriusblack]

thinking about horror film au marauders.. (tw. lotta gore)

lily the nerdy, bossy character that comes out with a giant axe and brutally beats up the killer/s to the shock of every other character

peter is either the bargaining character that tries to bargain and give the killer/s what they want just as he's about to die. or the character secretly on the killer's side that's revealed at the end

definitely giving wolfstar the making out whilst a killer is in their house/car/woods

mary, dorcas, remus, and lily all turning to each other wondering which of them is gonna die first, when they realise they're basically in a horror film cause of the black character dying first trope (i watched the blackening yesterday and the tagline "we can't all die first" gave me this hc. very good film. highly recommend)

sirius is the resident horror film expert that tells them what the killer usually does next (im imagining someone dying and everyone is just screaming over the dying body and sirius is also screaming but then adds in "this is exactly like that scene in wrong turn!"

the screamers are probably mary, remus, and james. not a definite though. i can see it being other people.

marlene gets the most jump scare scenes and emmeline gets the most hearing creaking and footsteps

james is the best at fighting but absolutely hates blood. feel like there needs to be a scene where he's like punching a masked killer and is doing SO WELL. and he gets the killer on the ground and is about to pull the mask off when the killer pulls out a knife and stabs at his hands and chest and shit. and he just screams and backs away staring at his blood until he faints.

as marlene dies, she clutches dorcas' hand and whispers "the lesbians never get a happy ending. apart from fear street... why couldn’t this be like fear street?"

the final girl HAS to be mary. ofc.

#im very much a satire horror fan. in case you couldn’t tell from this. #gonna explain how everyone dies (other than mary) in the tags cause im having ideas now i thought i was finished #idk the order so this is random and not at all chronological #remus- is high as fuck. thinks sirius or james is pranking him and then gets stabbed or whatever #sirius- tries to out horror the killer. tips a bucket of fake blood on them. has a chainsaw and mask #has a bunch of recording devices with sounds he previously made. etc. but then his fucking phone goes off #and he gets so annoyed because thats such a rookie mistake. and he asks to cut and do a retake just before the killer kills him #marlene- kinda already said about her death. but feel like it's def outside like in the street and shes only with dorcas #i already said james' death #lily- feel like there's more than one killer and she manages to kill one. just to turn around and another to get her #dorcas- she gets VERY into it once marlene dies. definitely gets hits in if not killing some of the killers. #but they ultimately get stabbed a lot and they run to marlene's body whilst bleeding out instead of the hospital #and she dies in marlene's dead grasp. #emmeline doesn't get killed for a while. is bait in a plan to catch killer/s but the plan goes wrong and she gets pushed out a high window #i havent mentioned other characters but why not say their deaths. #regulus- he's made to be involved with like a scene in a library where they go to him to ask about some secret history of the town #and then is killed the next day but has s bunch of writings and pages of books around his room about the killers and hes solved it #but the killer burns it all before anyone gets there #pandora- kinda want her to the first death for some reason idk.. like it gets framed as a suicide but so many people dont believe it #and the killings go on #barty- sees the masked killer and like jokes around touching their mask and stuff. and then the killer just like. brings out an axe #and chops his head off #evan- dont know why but im imagining him driving and getting those spikes in the road to lure him out the car #also btw didn't mention peter's death cause im leaning towards him being secretly one of the killers #and gets killed by either lily or dorcas #was gonna say barty and evan could be killers then i realised i made them kill reg and pandora and cas so people would not like that #also no mary death obviously since shes the final girl. survivor ever <3 immortal <3 #marauders era #marauders #tw. gore

[mcwebby]

messages that martin sends to the archival groupchat at 2 am that make jon sit up in bed and go “wh”

#jon is obviously laying awake staring at his ceiling wondering why his back hurts so bad #he has like three pillows beneath him with his hair in a plait over his shoulder under a RIDICULOUS amount of covers #seriously swaddled. and his phone goes off and it lights up next to him and he’s like who could it be at this hour. #martin slightly intoxicated: ojhh and what if i owned cattle #one of those texts in the gc that nobody responds to #tma #martin blackwood #magpod #the magnus archives

[steakout-05]

headcanon: 'Everybody Loves Raymond' by Lemon Demon is about this guy whose wacky family just won't stop watching all these family sitcoms on TV because they're stuck in the 80s-90s and the song is just him listing all the shows they watch in order of what pisses him off the most, all leading up to him getting so absolutely purely unadulteratedly enraged by the mere mention of Everybody Loves Raymond that he transforms into a screaming demon. he hates it so fucking much it summons the power of the demonic

#lemon demon #the idea of a guy's demon powers being set off by a cheesy sitcom show is extremely funny to me #this song is probably one of my absolute favourite LD songs honestly #i love me some Sitcom Screamo™ #also i like to think that one of the biggest reasons he hates it for is because his whole family really does love raymond #and he's the only one who doesn't and none of them understand so he's just really resentful towards this sitcom #it's his villain origin story #he goes on a rampage fuelled by his pure hatred and detestment for this show and blows up his neighbourhood #also this song was originally supposed to be on spirit phone so the whole demon thing kinda fits #his family are all paranormal too but in more of a weird uncanny way #they're all stuck in the past in every single way and it's unknown exactly what they are #they're like. obsessed with these sitcoms. and they're so overly friendly #anyway #sitcom screamo good go listen to it #everybody loves raymond

[bellshazes]

I might have screencapped this on my old phone but it's actually so funny. does anybody know how much his Skype and phone used to be going off every single episode ever and he'd yelp like it was a new thing

#bdubscomments #drafts cleaning #this one goes out to everyone who Knows. #he really fucking always had his god damn phone going off all the time