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#his family are all paranormal too but in more of a weird uncanny way
steakout-05 · 5 months
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headcanon: 'Everybody Loves Raymond' by Lemon Demon is about this guy whose wacky family just won't stop watching all these family sitcoms on TV because they're stuck in the 80s-90s and the song is just him listing all the shows they watch in order of what pisses him off the most, all leading up to him getting so absolutely purely unadulteratedly enraged by the mere mention of Everybody Loves Raymond that he transforms into a screaming demon. he hates it so fucking much it summons the power of the demonic
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If you are still doing matchups,, I'd be interested in a creepypasta one. I'm coming over from Elise blog.
So my name is Shay, I go by Whiskey because it's a preference in liquor on my end. I go by they/them pronouns, AFAB and I'm bi and omniromantic, I do have an mild preference for men or masc aligned people. I'm a Libra sun, Virgo moon and Aquarius rising. I'm also introvert (INFJ-A) and I'm constantly sleeply. I do have C-PSTD, Bipolar II and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).
I'm Caucasian/White and I stand at 5'9. I have celtic and Danish heritage, My family where vikings. I'm really tall and legs double the size of my torso, as in my thighs are as big as my torso in length, same with my calves. I call myself spider legs because of that. I have this natural like wolf cut going on that is this dark green with my roots be my natural dark chocolate brown hair. My eyes are hazel with gold flecks that shift in color which I found out is normal for people with hazel eyes. I paint my nails black a lot because I find the color pleasing. My build wise is like a rectangle like shape with broad shoulders. I'm pretty strong and I'm proud of my strength. I'm currently starting to get into shape and lose weight so I have fit shape but not like over for. Just the right amount of fat over my muscles. I have a lot of stretch marks,, mostly around my waist and my biceps. I call them my stripes or lighting marks. I have plans to get snake bite piercings and wear like the ring ones in them. I'm getting an tattoo soon that is like this and then I want a burning match tattoo on my color bone. My ears are piercing and I like wearing fake gauges, spirals and then the ratings that have the dangly stuff and cuffs with them. I also wear like those stereotypical hot topic chokers. I wear a lot of long sleeves and skinny jeans, I do like ripped skinny jeans. I also love flannels and black boots like doc martins or converse.
I think you can assume by the statement of me liking whiskey I am the rebellious sort which is true. I have drank a bit and tried weed, I don't do it anymore tho.I have been told if people don't know me and see me from afar I'm intimidating to approach. Even being spooky and intimidating, I promise I'm just a big softie. I usually assume the mom friend of the group with my friends. I always worry about them and make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes I do it so much I forget to take care of myself. I'm really gentle and compassionate, along with being extremely empathetic. I can be stubborn and bit judgemental at times, mostly working off first impressions myself when getting to know each other. I have an hard time being insertive and putting my foot down with my boundaries, scared to lose people even if the hurt me. I'm an introvert through and through, liking to watch from the back and observe the way things go on around me. I do my best to be an optimist because I can't see the point in see everything wrong in this world, it helps me to see the good. I love going on adventures with my close friends and love being a chaotic bastard with them. My dnd alignment is chaotic neutral and I'm Hufflepuff. I do live by the saying do no harm but take no shit. But I won't hesitate to fight someone for the right causes.
I do always constantly look like I am going to funeral of some sort because I own nothing but black. The color makes me feel really comfortable but it's not my favorite color. My favorite color is green but I like sage green, forest green, mossy green, etc. The earthy greens are my favorites. I have a love for the forest and woodlands, finding a sense of home in the woods. I do love archery and something I'm definitely going to be picking up along with playing the drums. I also smoke herbal cigarettes as well as alternative to smoking.
I often get called a cryptid and at this point, I am just one. Cryptidcore, Midwest Gothic, and Pacific Northwest Gothic are my favorite aesthetics. I have a huge love for cryptozoology (the study of cryptids), parapsychology (the psychic phenomena and other paranormal claims), original creepypasta stories and to be honest anything like spooky and creepy. I want to be a mortician and I'm attending school for that. I also really love the dark, especially if I have some good music blasting through my earbuds. I am a sucker for long road trips and seeing things, filling the adventure heart I have. My favorite animals are coyotes and I also like horses. I like to write a lot as well.
Okay, first off, you sound so cool?! Like we should talk more 😃.
I match you with...
Hₑᄂₑ𝚗 ₒ𝚝ᵢ𝘴/ Bᄂₒₒ𝚍y Pₐᵢ𝚗𝚝ₑᵣ
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(Not my art, unknown artist. Contact me with credit info!)
Helen gets the they/them pronouns. For the longest, the thought he was a weird girl. Then he had body dysphoria for a long time, and then he came to terms with his identity.
Helen is a Virgo to your Libra. Virgos admire Libra's clear mindedness and their drive for balance in all areas.
However, Virgos can have some trust issues. Just be there and patient with Helen. He'll get over those hurdles eventually.
Helen gets being an introvert, being one himself. He never had many friends growing up, his only close one being killed by bullies who then tried to blame it on him. Helen would be perfectly content if you two were the last people on Earth.
Helen loves how you look, like you're just 'classical' beautiful? He loves painting your eyes, trying to get that perfect mix of green and gold.
He recites Robert Frost to you because your eyes remind him of this poem:
"Nature's first green is gold/ Her hardest hue to hold/ Her early leaf's a-flower;/ but only so an hour./ Then leaf subsides to leaf/ So Eden sank to grief/ So dawn goes down to day/ Nothing gold can stay"- Robert Frost "Nothing Gold Can Stay"
Helen would enjoy painting your nails for you, maybe even painting little designs on them if you'd like
Helen would be so supportive in your fitness journey. He just doesn't want you to feel like you have to lose weight to please him or anyone else. He thinks you're perfect just how you are, just like he'd think you're perfect 50 pounds overweight or 50 pounds underweight.
Helen loves your stripes. Whenever you feel self conscious about them, he reminds you that the things that make a person attractive are groupings of flaws that work well with each other to make a beautiful face
OR
He tells you how the Chinese fill in cracked china and pottery with molten gold because the cracks make the piece more beautiful since it has more character.
Helen would love to design tattoos for you
He thinks it's sweet that you're Mom Friend™, but he's not going to let you drive yourself into the ground taking care of everyone else. So, now, you can't lift a finger around Helen. He waits on you hand and foot
He'll help you learn to be more assertive and stand up for yourself and what you believe in. He'll help you set boundaries and limits and he'll help you enforce them. One of his more important lessons is that you have no room in your life for people who hurt you, use you, or make you miserable.
Anyone that hurts you will be subjected to The Wrath of Helen Otis™
I feel like Helen wasn't a huge outside person before meeting you.
But between pictures on your camera roll of you and your friends' adventures and just listening to the way you speak about the Great Outdoors? He's intrigued as hell now and goes on a nature walk with you on an easy forest mountain trail, nothing too challenging or taxing.
And suddenly he just understood everything you'd been talking about.
A special activity he likes to do just the two of you is this: you think of and describe to him a cryptid and he paints it following your description. Then he listens to any stories or folklore for that cryptid.
Its normally exactly the way you pictured it in your head (it's actually pretty uncanny).
Thinks it's cool that you're going to mortician's school. He's always been interested in medicine, but can't tolerate all the patients. But a mortician... They do medical things and have the quietest patient that are just so agreeable! What a genius career path (seriously, I'm on a wait list for an interview with the coroners office (Low turnover rates 😑)
Helen also likes playing in paint worn you (but I'm thinking that deserves a whole post of its own)
Helen also likes to paint while you write (sometimes he paints you writing about him painting). Its beautiful, really. Just two people who love each other enjoying their hobbies together in companionable silence 😍
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Essay III: Get Out
For my third critical analysis essay on horror, I chose the contemporary movie, Get Out, directed by Jordan Peele. Horror is a broad spectrum, and the most effective pieces of horror find their success in playing off the insecurities of their audience.  This movie was considered a huge hit in its genre, and has such a unique and captivating story.  Get Out uses race and cultural differences to uncover the social failings of a society and to entertain at the same time. Using references from literary studies on the uncanny, zombies, and much more, this essay is going to take a deeper look into the power of genre and the cultural significance of this movie.
The first connection I was able to make to the coursework when watching this film was the similarity between the Haitian Zombie, and the way that the Armitage’s were able to create their own zombie slaves, if you will, through hypnosis. David Inglis provides a great definition of the zombie in his chapter Putting the Undead to Work: “The fear that is embodied in the Haitian figure of the zombie is not the Euro American one of the dead returning to visit a cannibalistic holocaust on the living, but rather involves dread of the body snatcher –the zombie master- who takes the living body and destroys the soul within it, creating a living dead being who endlessly obeys his will” (p. 42).  I think the term “body snatcher” can be easily applied to the work that the Armitage family was doing.  A perfect example would be the opening scene where the son throws a black man in the trunk of his car, who shows back up later at the garden party, but this time he does not seem to have his soul.  Following the same type of mentality as the witch doctor from White Zombie, the Armitage family is making slaves out of people, through hypnosis and surgery instead of magic, and selling them off as their own labor force.  
Another connection I made after watching the movie was the sunken place (Chris’ hypnotized state) and the subconscious, to Freud’s ideas on the uncanny.  Freud gives an insightful explanation on the relationship between human consciousness and the uncanny: “If this really is the secret nature of the uncanny, we can understand why German usage allows the familiar to switch to its opposite, the uncanny, for this uncanny element is actually nothing new or strange, but something that was long familiar to the psyche and was estranged from it only through being repressed” (pg. 148). Exploiting Chris’ subconscious by bringing up the topic of his mother’s death, she is able to repress the part of his brain that makes him Chris.  After the initial hypnosis, she almost has complete control over him with her teacup. We see throughout the film that these people with someone else in their mind controlling their body and consciousness are brought to the surface when exposed to a camera flash.  Meaning there is some hope for these people that have been turned, but we also see that the man taken over by the grandfather kills himself as soon as he is freed from the distressing situation of living his life as a spectator.
The term used to describe these people once they’ve been hypnotized is the “sunken place.”  Once put in this trance, Chris finds his existence to be as the passenger of his own life, he screams and struggles and gets no result or reaction from the people around him.  The sunken place is meant to represent the oppression of the system, and how minorities find themselves trapped, screaming as hard as they can without being able to get any sort of communication across.  Peele was trying to make a statement about the underrepresentation of black people in the horror genre, and how he was upset with the stereotype of them always being the first ones to die off.  Thinking about the film in that light, Peele really turns the tables around, by not only having the black protagonist survive, but having to murder his way out of the house to freedom.  
To bring this all back to the discussion of cultural significance, Get Out, tells a story of racism to a group of people that think racism is no longer a problem.  So what is it that makes this movie so powerful and such a good medium for a message that a nation desperately needs to hear?  Author Colin Dickey sheds some light on what separates good hauntings and horror from the sheep: “A paranormal event without a story is tenuous, fragile.  What makes it “real,” at least in a sense, is the story, the tale that grounds the event. The sense of the uncanny, of something not-quite-right, of things ever-so-slightly off, cries out for an explanation” (pg. 5).  Dickey explains to us that to deliver a message, especially to todays disconnected population, you have to ground the idea your trying to communicate with something that seems more interesting or entertaining to the masses.  Once you have captured their attention you are able to point out the reality and truth to them, the truth that they refuse to see by looking around.  Even genres of horror like the ghost hunters start off by establishing the history of the buildings they go through, as well as the tragic pasts of the ghosts they are trying to provoke.
Peele does an excellent job in Get Out of building suspense.  By creating those not-quite-right situations, as Dickey put it, he was able to use a realistic character.  Most horror films feature protagonists who are incredibly oblivious and don’t have the sense to pick up the phone and call the cops, or to get in the car and drive away. What is so brilliant about the suspense build up in Get Out, is that nothing too out of the ordinary happens that would make a rational person leave a girl he’s been dating for months, until its too late.
So what dose this movie say about our current situation as a nation? Looking at the bonus features on the film there was a Q&A panel with Jordan Peele and someone asked him about his favorite scene in the movie.  Peele responded, saying that he enjoyed the insecurities revealed in the garden party: “When you have older white people trying to connect with a younger black man the insecurities come out in a weird way.”  Watching the movie, you find out that the whole purpose of the garden party was for these people to evaluate the possibility of buying Chris at the auction, which only adds another theatrical layer to the racist situation on display. Every time Chris meets with a potential buyer they let out some awkward piece of conversation as their way of trying to connect with someone with racial and cultural differences.  All the other black people on the question panel agreed that this scene had a lot of truth behind it, and said that they do have to suffer through situations like this regularly
One of the biggest eye openers for me when I watched this movie is the character Rose.  She is a powerful persuader and a master of lies, and to me, she reveals the most about our culture’s divide when she tries to talk down Chris as a way to prove to him she and her family are not racist.  Rose will go on little tangents with Chris as her audience about her family having black servants, the way he was treated by a cop, or how her family and friends are just “so white.”  Hearing her overcompensate as a way to try and come off as sincere reminded me of the same thing I see on social media every day.  White people will see a video of police brutality on twitter and quote it with some witty caption and think that they have just made peace with the whole black community.  The way they go into great lengths online about civil rights and social responsibility reminded me of the same empty way that Rose would overcompensate so that her cover wouldn’t be blown.  I know that these people’s words are hallow because I spend time with them in real life and know for a fact that they are not actually doing anything to change the current situation, or to give up the privilege they’ve been born with.  
Overall, this movie is a great tribute to its genre and does a great job reflecting national anxieties and problematic attitudes.  Watching this movie again after in class discussions about zombies and Haitian culture, I was able to notice a lot of parallels between Get Out and movies like White Zombie.  A lot of the ideas and theories presented in Freud’s The Uncanny, are revealed in this film.  Peele does a great job of building suspense in this movie while delivering a powerful message at the same time, and I would recommend this movie to any fan of Horror.
Work Cited
“Putting the Undead to Work” David Inglis
“The Uncanny” Sigmund Freud
“Ghostland” Collin Dickey
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biofunmy · 5 years
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Here’s What Being a Witch Really Means
You could say I was primed to be a witch from an early age.
My grandma Trudy used to tell us that she had “healing hands.” According to family lore, she once saved the life of a dying horse that, after she pressed her palms to its flank, stood up and trotted happily away. While I can’t vouch for the veracity of that tale, I do know that a touch on the forehead from her would always make my headaches vanish.
Trudy was a librarian at a library in central New Jersey, where I spent many a childhood afternoon pawing through the low end of the Dewey Decimal System, where books on the paranormal and other oddities are kept. I’d thrill as I read about the alleged mystical energy of the Egyptian pyramids and swoon over the entries on witchcraft in “Man, Myth, and Magic,” a 24-volume “Encyclopedia of the Supernatural.”
My favorite novel was “Wise Child” by Monica Furlong, a story about an orphan girl who gets taken in by a kind witch named Juniper, who teaches her magic and loves her like a mother might. The villagers come to them in secret whenever they need healing, but in public, Juniper and Wise Child are shunned.
Witches, I learned from the book, are complicated creatures: sources of great comfort and great terror.
As I approached my teen years, I was beginning to feel like a complicated creature myself. I’d developed an affinity for poetry and purple eye shadow — my own special brand of popularity repellent.
But my interest in magic remained a largely private, solitary pursuit. I wasn’t ashamed of it, exactly. My discretion arose from an urge to protect one of the few things that was mine alone. When you’re a weird kid, you learn to put guardrails around the things you love.
Still I followed the trail of literary bread crumbs further into the witch’s wood. It led me to a place where magic was something that could be done, not just read about.
I would often coax my parents to drive me to towns many miles away, where there were shops with names like Red Bank’s Magical Rocks or Mystickal Tymes. This was where I could find precious artifacts like old “Sandman” comics and bootleg CDs of my musical holy trinity, Tori Amos, Björk, and PJ Harvey — artists who wove references to goddesses and Pagan rites throughout howling hymns to female sexuality.
I scored my first set of tarot cards there, called the Sacred Rose deck, which contained mysterious symbols that were drawn to look like medieval stained glass.
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Most of my early spells were focused on boys I had crushes on, desperately hoping to make them love me back. (These spells usually called for ingredients like rose petals or fresh cinnamon, but I’d often improvise with whatever I found around the house, such as Sweet’N Low.)
I eventually started doing occasional castings (that’s witch shorthand for casting a spell) for a few trusted friends who were pining for people who may or may not have been pining for them too.
There was the spell I did for Rebecca, my older sister’s friend, who was hiding in my room during a house party, lusting after some guy who was downstairs. I lit some candles and did some incantations: “Oh kindle the fire of his heart!” I chanted, while trying not to kindle the fire of my suburban bedroom.
Then I sprinkled her with some “love powder” that I’d bought at a New Age shop and sent her on her way. They made out an hour later.
There was the time that my best friend Molly was going to be hanging out alone with a boy she liked. She was pretty nervous, and I was nervous for her. She and Tom were both on the shy side, so it was anyone’s guess who would make the first move, if it happened at all. She was going to need magical intervention.
I did a spell.
I started by trying to telepathically send Molly a message of bravery and held an image in my mind of them kissing. I paced the upstairs hallway of my house, back and forth, back and forth, chanting, gathering energy, feeling a sort of furry electricity running up and down my arms and threw my hands, until — astonishingly — there was a shudder of lightning and a loud crack of thunder.
I couldn’t believe it. Was it a coincidence? Or had I somehow summoned it? I still don’t know.
A phone call from Molly later that night confirmed what I thought must be true: yes, they had kissed. We compared notes on the times, and they lined up. The spell had worked.
As I got older, my witchcraft became less about trying to cause specific outcomes and more focused on helping me become a more purposeful and compassionate person. And while I still do rituals of the more traditional sort, my magic has become something I carry with me in all facets of my life.
I was doing magic at the day job I had for 14 years, where I got to oversee photography projects, and placed a figure of Artemis, the Greek goddess of the moon and female independence, in my cubicle.
On my altar at home, I keep a copy of the United States Constitution next to my candles and talismans, as a way of asking Spirit to protect our country from nefarious forces.
I’m doing magic when I march in the streets for causes I believe in. (The proliferation of “HEX THE PATRIARCHY” placards fills me with particularly witchly glee).
“Witch” is one of the words I now use to describe myself, but its meaning varies depending on context. At any given time, it can signify that I am a feminist; someone who celebrates freedom for all and who will fight against injustice; a person who values intuition and self-expression; or a kindred spirit with other people who favor the unconventional, the underground and the uncanny.
I use the word “witch” to signify both my Pagan spiritual beliefs — that nature is holy, thus the planet we live on and the bodies we live in are all sacred — and my role as a complex woman who speaks her mind, behavior that is still often met by society with judgment or disdain.
I’m a witch when I’m celebrating the change of the seasons with my coven sisters, as well as when I stand against the destruction of the environment. I’m a witch when I’m giving thanks to the sun, moon and stars, and when I’m working to subvert the corrosive narrative of sexism, racism, queer-phobia and xenophobia.
Like many such epithets, the word “witch” is loaded and coded. I’m thoughtful about how I use it because it is a word that carries weight, even as it liberates. Whether we’re speaking of literal witch hunts or metaphorical smears (just Google any female politician’s name alongside the word “witch” and you’ll see what I mean), it is a word that has been linked to centuries of misogyny and oppression.
In occult-speak, there is a term for a type of magic that I love: apotropaic. It describes workings or magical items that are administered to ward off evil. Sometimes specific jewelry is worn, like a piece of obsidian or other black stone; other times, reflective objects like mirrors are hung in home windows to reflect bad energies back out and away.
More often than not, the protective devices use aspects of the very terrors they are averting as part of their design, which is why gargoyles are often on the facades of buildings and Halloween masks are worn to scare off spooky spirits.
By embodying the things we think will hurt us, somehow we feel safer: a creepy costume, a scary statue, intentionally dreadful décor. Sometimes all it takes is an utterance, like addressing yourself with a monstrous name.
I may not be able to lay my hands on every suffering being and take away their pain the way my grandma Trudy seemed to. But by calling myself and my heroes witches, I’m shape-shifting a fearsome word into one that signifies strength, stewardship and a fierce, open heart.
And that is a love spell in itself.
Pam Grossman is the host of “The Witch Wave” podcast and the author of “Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic, and Power,” from which this essay is adapted.
Rites of Passage is a weekly-ish column from Styles and The Times Gender Initiative. For information on how to submit an essay, click here. ​To read past essays, check out this page.
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