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but-first--tea · 26 days

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B A S I C S

Name: Ferthur Venator

Nicknames: none, unless aliases count. If they do, a lot of them. Notably, her most commonly used aliases for the past couple years have been Omori Kaya and Kasasagi.

Age: adult (I don't like to define characters by specific ages, especially with how wonky the passage of time in RP can be. But logically she's probably in her late twenties or early thirties by now. I created this character 4 years ago.)

Nameday: in game it's the 2nd sun of the 5th umbral moon. I've never RPed it.

Race: well she looks like a xaela

Gender: Female (cis)

Orientation: hetero/demisexual (eternal bonded to Eligos Venator, monogamous)

Profession: "I do what I want" (and try not to get caught). She owns an auction house now, though. That probably counts as an official job! Except it was more like the world's most over-the-top impulse buy while trying to shop for Starlight presents. She's suffering from a case of "asset rich, cash poor" at the moment as a result. That's probably going to suck when she has to pay taxes on the Omori Estate. Oops. Next BBEG: property taxes.

P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: White, and rather long. She doesn't wear it in a consistent way, and is instead adept at styling it many different ways to suit the outfit or occasion.

Eyes: Slitted gold

Skin: very fair, which can be a point of frustration for a lizert who would very much like to bask in the sun

Tattoos/scars: For most of her life, the very idea of any sort of permanent identifying feature was anathema to her, a potential threat to her anonymity and survival. However Eligos has slowly begun to erode these fears, and even managed to talk her into getting tattooed. A mixture of dragon scales, geometric patterns, and stylized florals now grace her right shoulder and arm, and curve along part of her hip and leg. So far she's managed to avoid any permanent scars, mostly by pulling a vanishing act when things get out of hand.

F A M I L Y

Parents: She was raised by a Doman shinobi named Harue, who told her that her father was a samurai who had perished fighting a voidsent. Unbeknownst to Ferthur, neither of these people are her birth parents. Harue is now recently deceased, and thus unable to tell her the truth of her origin.

Siblings: None that she knows of.

Grandparents: Harue's mother taught Ferthur her foundation in the arcane arts when the girl began to show an aptitude for them that Harue herself never had. Her grandmother passed away when Ferthur was a teen, leaving her to continue her arcane studies on her own. The lack of guidance went about as well as one might expect.

In-laws and Other: Eligos's parents are still alive, but they do not know Eligos is still alive, and so Ferthur has never met them.

Pets: None

S K I L L S

Abilities: Ferthur was raised by her shinobi mother, and thus was instructed in the shinobi arts from early childhood on. As she grew older, her affinity for the arcane began to show, and her focus quickly shifted to the arcane arts. Her obsession with magic brought her to some very dark places, however, and lately she has fallen back to her roots, relying mostly on the teachings of her mother to survive.

Hobbies: Dance, collecting clothing, theft and general mischief.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Highly adaptable and quick thinking on her feet, very protective of the self agency of others

Most Negative Trait: Obsessive and prone to spite beyond reason when something upsets her

L I K E S

Colors: Yes. Though to wear she prefers black and white, sometimes blue. (Why yes I did give her a magpie color scheme.) Even though she's not typically superstitious, she'll often wear red 'for luck' when she's about to do something particularly dangerous.

Smells: Jasmine, osmanthus, plum blossoms. Waterfalls and the sea. The spices and scents of the kitchen while Eligos is cooking. Sun-warmed skin and coconut.

Textures: Being buried in fuzzy blankets. Submerged in water. The touch of skin. Tracing anything with patterns or edges. The smooth softness of petals and leaves.

Drinks: Spiced tea, which she grew very fond of during her time in Ul'dah

O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes: Nope.

Drinks: Tea, water. Wine occasionally with dinner. The most ridiculous-sounding drink on the menu if on vacation or traveling.

Drugs: On purpose? Not usually. She's too paranoid and always needs to feel in control. Eligos has talked her into experimenting with alchemy on a couple rare occasions in a very controlled environment.

Mount Issuance: Unless a very tall viera picking her up and carrying her around because she's smol counts, not really. She doesn't own a chocobo or horse, though she does know how to ride.

Been Arrested: She came close once, but she chose murder over capture. Things got rather dicey after that for a while.

Tagged by: @wpip-raham and @starforger Thank you! Sorry it took me forever!

Tagging: anyone who wants to do the thing! This was going around maybe a month ago but I wasn't feeling well

#peeks out from under large rock to do things I was tagged in #Ferthur Venator #the doman magpie #ffxiv oc

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stry-someone-to-remember-you · 8 months

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Update... September was a Weird month for Me

2 Updates bellow come directly from my Art Twitter Account:

#STRY #webcomic I haven't posted art lately, as promised. Life kinda got me. Had a few weird days last month of random depression (I mean I know definitely why it happened has to do with something from last September... but I won't get into it)...Then other times this fixation with the novel or jobsearch. Trying to get back in routine of exercising and art. I hope next few weeks to post more. #STRY #SomeoneToRememberYou The #novel is coming together. It still will be several months and still getting everything in life, and the web comic together. But I'm honestly excited! I think I have the final Novel Summary down, -some cuts. Let me know if you want to see it.

~~~~ Sssooooo.... Lets Expand on what I mention above...

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO:

I felt more pressure as I also realized Indeed after I worked my ass off fixing my resume and my cover letter, had gone and saved the rough draft version so for the last several months I was using the poorly fixed version of both and had to fix everything again... I really don't like the side but it's one of the best for job searching. I admit my hours for art started becoming a game of job searching, going through the stressful process. I call it a game cause it was almost like an addiction. Especially after realizing I was using this whole time the wrong form of my resume and cover letter. You don't know how embarrassed that was, especially since I'm applying mostly for secretary positions. Talk about FACEPALM... I've told myself my old rule not to look at Job Apps at night, leave them be so I can focus on art... (I also watched a few new to me shows, I've been meaning to watch... got addicted lost time watching them, then came to find out they have a horrible ending *cough* Devil is a Part Timer *cough* yeah took a day to realize that has creeper predator ending) I really fell off my exercise routine which I tell myself I have to do (about for an hour) before I do art, mostly to stay healthy so I can keep doing what I love. I hope to just post some stuff and finally involve myself in the month challenge. Even if late. Stay tuned if I manage that... On my other profiles, job searching since fixing that "accident" up I have had several interviews scheduled since. Tomorrow I have a few scheduled and am so ready. Although, I admit I'm hoping for once with benefits, my last job promised it but never gave any. So I really hope to find one with such. And that will eventually help me in my potential career. If things keep not working, due to having a few friends on the force I've honestly considered going into the academy if things keep not panning out job wise. But they seem to be looking up. And I have looked into doing book reading jobs as well. So I have several avenues I'm looking at just in case. #WISHMELUCk Hopefully, you hear more from me art wise.

I want to thank the many people who've subscribed since my last few posts. Also so sorry for any art friends that think I may have dropped off all of a sudden. I'm still here. Just knd went through some odd motions..

~~~~ Update on Last Post (about the date): Lastly, to my update on going on a date. Yeah it was fine, conversations were odd afterwords and I can't say I felt much after the fact so I don't think that's going anywhere. Took a few weeks away from social dating apps/sites as I can get addicted to focusing on them. I'm trying to control the sudden addictive phases of solely focusing on this or that. I know it's cause I've been more nervous lately not getting previously during the summer more then a few job interviews and wondering what was wrong. Now that I've solved that issue and have several lined up, I'm finally kinda taking the reigns again and switching my focus art I was working on and art for the story.

~~~~~~~~~~

STORY UPDATES:

As for S.T.R.Y... Someone TO Remember You.... I hope to work on the Initial (last valentines day) Hint Post of the main characters which has been sitting in half unfished limbo for months now. And work quickly on the Sneak peak of the characters and full Face Reveal before or Around Halloween, cause I recently was introduced to a fandoms that I really want to use for a character halloween pic. It may be posted after Halloween. But I have an idea of what I'm wanting to do. I can't promise all my plans will work My Dad's birthday is this month, and though he's busy I know we are thinking of celebrating it a month later. So some of my focus will be put to that while the long time he's off working assisting my disabled mother with her many cleaning projects. I promised to help her around the front yard, especially with Halloween coming up for the trick-or-treaters. (Since my mom has mobility issues I'm often the one in charge of answering the door or such. So course I go all out dressing up. And I know it's important to all of use that the house looks good in the areas that can be seen. I wasn't able to do much last year since I was suffering Anxiety. I want to make up for things I haven't done. So I know the many art projects I want to do this month may not occur. But I wanted you to know what plans I'm hoping to do. I know I often pile on a lot, so I'm just saying what I hope accomplish but may not be able to fully do. That's my update so far... Stay tuned. Stay Sweet. PS. Ironic but I finally am just going to work on my UPDATE Comic that Legit I put on hold Two Years almost to this day to Job Search back near the end of the pandemic and now I'm picking it up again. WHy? THe Update is just me using my Authors character, by promoting the story and saying a little about myself. It was my way of practicing making a comic while making art. But, I told myself I wouldn't use the author character to make updates till I posted the comic. I've had so many times the last four months I wanted to make updates. Had a good plan but knew it would be redundant later posting the Update Comic I still plan on. I'm finally at a point where I want to work back on in (with the extended pages to add Recent updates rather then 2 years ago updates)... Then from then on, I hope to have shorter updates where I just use my Author Character to give updates without these long paragraphs and just short tidbits.... I've mentioned it before. But finally want to announce I'm working on finishing that... I still have a art project I'm making as a present, which is Half Way to completion. I added way more elements to it then I planneda nd just had numerous computer issues or life issues that got in the way of that getting completed. I also have a few fan Henry Stickmin art pieces I ALMOST forgot about from April and May I want to get back to soon.... So to say I have alot of art on the way Is not Putting it lightly. I have alot Of future Art coming up.

#henry stickmin au #henry stickmin collection #someone to remember #someone to remember you #thsc #henry stickmin ask blog #stry #s.t.r.y #novel #novel writing #job search #current wip

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pb-dot · 10 months

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Film Friday: The Matrix

There really wasn't any doubt in my mind over what movie I was going to cover next in my Film Friday series. I did briefly consider a number of movies, but there was really only one I could go for if I was honest with myself. When asked the dreaded question of what my favorite movie is, I often ask, as a clarifying question if they mean favorite as in the one I enjoy the most, the one I think is the most skillfully made, or the most important to me as a person. If the answer is the latter, I invariably say it is today's movie: The Matrix.

So, what is it that makes this movie so important to me? Part of it is no doubt that it came out when I was young, and fate saw to it that I managed to see this R-rated piece of heady hyperviolence a few years before I was perhaps supposed to. It was given an age rating of 15 in my country, and I first saw it as a pre-teen.

The movie blew my mind back then, there's no two ways about it. The late 90's punky rave/cyber aesthetics and the soft-focus worn-out humanity of the postapocalyptic real world, the absolutely mind-bending action scenes of hand-to-hand and gunplay combat, and special effects that defined the entire following generation of action movies. The Matrix had it all, and it was also one of the first movies I had seen that made me think.

I've always been a ruminator, prone to pondering and thoughts that may charitably be described as philosophical, and The Matrix gave me a reference point and language to talk about it to my peers. Yeah, sure, most of my classmates didn't give a single hoot about the difference between what is perceived as real and what is real, but through the tale of Thomas Anderson awakening to the falseness of his reality as his hacker alias Neo, I had an in to talk about some of that stuff. The Matrix wasn't quite the phenomenon in my neck of the woods as I'm told it was elsewhere, so my inability to care about team sports was still a major albatross around my neck of course.

Now, if The Matrix was merely important to me as a child, that would fail to account for the sheer importance this movie has to me, even to this day. A further slice of the pie can be accounted for if I were to take my nascent crushes on Keanu Reeves, it would take more than a decade to realize the nature of this, and Carrie-Anne Moss, the nature of which became apparent to me considerably earlier. There is, however, more.

The part of me that's more of a nerd about technical filmmaking stuff than emotional impact when it comes to movies wants to take this moment to talk about the pacing and structure of The Matrix. Put plainly, this is just about the perfect Hero's Journey flick. People come back to Star Wars Episode IV, but for my money it doesn't have beans on The Matrix. Neo's journey maps just about perfectly onto the threshold-crossing, helpers and mentors, challenges and temptations, death and rebirth, transformation and attonement, the entire package. While following essentially Hollywood's favorite story recipe perfectly might not seem like a great achievement, The Matrix is really the strongest argument for using the formula to lend the story profoundly mythological feel.

It is no accident, I suspect, that reading into the christian symbolism of The Matrix became such a popular topic in the aughts that it, at least according to several anecdotes, was banned in many film litteracy classes mostly because the teachers and professors were sick of reading about it. I will, however, say that the most salient reading to me is the queer one.

In short, the readings of the film has tipped somewhat from the "Kung Fu Jesus"-read that was popular in the 00's to being viewed more as a trans allegory, in part thanks to both of it's directors coming out as openly trans since its release. There certainly is much to recommend this reading, the focus on found family and self-chosen names, the antagonist's purposeful use of Neo's given name, what we would today be calling deadnaming, and so on. The ambigiously gendered character Switch was reportedly also intended to have a different gender in the matrix and out of it, as their "Residual Self Image" did not match their physical body, sadly this turned out to be too spicy for late 90's Warner Broothers and so that idea was cut.

I do agree that a lot of the parts that make The Matrix stand out in my mind can be read as inspired by the lived experiences of its writer/directors The Wachowskis. I would, however, argue that a slightly wider reading as a story of queer awakening might describe the movie more accurately than a strictly trans story, but do keep in mind I say that as a cis bi guy, so it only stands to reason that the themes of queerness would resonate more with me.

With that awareness of my own biases achknowledged though, there is something deeply queer about Neo's awakening into the real world. As Thomas Anderson, he is driven to self-destructive acts by a resounding feeling of wrongness with the world he knows. Thomas is searching, both in the fringes of what he percieves of the physical world, and the open frontier of the internet, for answers that can soothe his worries.

What answer eventually finds him changes his entire reality. As Neo, he lives a life that is more dangerous and more separated from what he used to call the real world than ever before, but it is, in a fundamental sense, real. Meaningful relationship can happen there. There's room for tenderness, for jokes, for genuine cameraderie with others who are in his situation or something very close to it. This all reminds me an awful lot of the 1990 Clive Barker film Nightbreed in this regard. Neo doesn't take to it right away, his social senses, like his eyes and muscles, are weak because he has never actually used them before, but everyone who's there with him has been through it and thus understands. Well, everyone except one asshole, but stories do need antagonists after all.

I feel like I've given this movie only the most cursory of discussions since I haven't even gotten around to discussing the movie's wuxia-inspired fight scenes, its take on fate and properchy, or the complicated legacy of a movie about outcasts fighting the system by employing truly staggering levels of violence on other people who aren't real people on the level of our heroes and as such are acceptable targets. Especially the last point feels like it needs some elaboration in an age that has made "our opponents aren't as human as we are" a popular dogwhistle when calling for violence as a political tool. Maybe I'll get to writing some on that one of these days, but for now I gotta stop putting every thought I've had about The Matrix in the last 15+ years into this post or I'll never get to the end of it.

So, with that in mind, if you haven't seen The Matrix yet, or haven't seen it in a while, give it a go. It's good, and probably gayer than you expect and/or remember.

#writing #peebs thinks #film friday #the matrix #carrie anne moss #keanu reeves

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chevvy-yates · 11 months

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Alright, I thought about it last night a bit.

I may just stop forcing myself to do the usual 'male v monday' 'shippy saturday' 'thirsty thursday' 'wip wednesday' stuff (I mean I can't even manage to keep up with that either) and instead post whenever I want, like I do on Friday already when everyone is posting their gorgeous females but I (if I post) do post my boys since I do not have any female oc.

I don't know if I'll completely abandon the tags for it or not. it's gonna be more: if I manage to post on that day, I'll add it, if not, I'll reblog and then tag it with the tag or sth like that.

I will still try and take my at least 30min of time a day (mostly after work around 6pm German time) to browse tblr. Queue often makes noe sense to me, sometimes I use ib when I feel I've reblogged to much in a row already but I do not tage anything that will come from my queue so you won#t even notice that it was queued.

I've also set a few blogs on receive notifications so I do not miss any new posts. I love that feature! But sometimes I have to stop using it if a blog keeps posting like every 1h through the day which will give me 24 notes a day on my phone - forcing me to look and I can't do that. I need to find some balance somehow. Still a thing to figure out to have it healthy.

I do not want to abandon looking at content because you all create so many cool things, but in this fandom, as I already said it so many times: it is just so hard to keep up with it. So please do not be mad about me or think I do not like your stuff (anymore) because I've not liked/reblogged a thing lately of your content. I often feel very 'unmenschlich' (inhuman?) when I can't find time to give some love to others work bc I receive so much from all of you, therefore I want to give it back as well.

Idk how you manage having 4+ ocs btw. I with my 4 boys feel like I abandon at least one for too long (rn it is Vijay - and it makes me so incredibly sad, no one will probably understand). But I have to keep telling myself, he will receive a whole lot of attention and love again. However, this month is for Thyjs, because he's having his birthday soon (13th) and so I will focus on him in the first place.

I decided to slide in Jaysen for something else yesterday (because spontaneous things still happen) and I'll hopp in to take a bunch of pic of him as well once my writing here is done, bc he's modeling for some new real cool pants. And then I go back to my soldier boy doing the same (if I can manage bc taking pic … takes time xD).

What elese?

I'll just need to find a balance when I do at least answer roleplay or do story writing because this also I feel very bad about It gets neglected the most, mainly because I've never been a writer. But I find such joy in it and I feel like a bad person that my rp partner always has to wait such long time until I answer. Some days I'd just love to thorw literally everything aside and just do rp 24h nonstop (we all know this doesn't work) because I love love love this story that developed in the past year and when I think about it I'm just so hyped to share it one day but it's a lot of work to do. It's gotten something like a lifetime project by now?

And I need to stop hording my drafts. Its getting ridiculous …

#thoughts

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skyward-floored · 10 months

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Hello Peggy!

Congrats, you've been visited by your LU Self Care Anon!

I hope you had a great day, and if not, don't worry, you did your best, and tomorrow's full of new possibilities!

Have you drank enough water? It can really help, abd since I've bought this really neat canteen with included straw I've been drinking a lot more (I think for me it acts as a stim too) Also, remember to get enough sleep, I might be an hypocrite now that i haven't slept at all this night, but it's only one night and I knew it would come, I'll sleep a lot the next. Did you know sleeping on your side may reduce snore or sleep apnea?

What have you been working on lately? Would you like to show me a wip, or describe it? I'm sure it'll turn out amazing, even if you now think it's nowhere near good!

You can do this! Believe in yourself, you're awesome!

Thank you! My day yesterday when you sent this was fine, and today’s been pretty good! Babysitting my nephew ‘cause my sisters getting her wisdom teeth out.

I have a canteen like that! I don’t use it much unless I’m going out of the house somewhere, but it’s pretty nice :) I’ve been trying to drink more water lately, I think I’ve been succeeding! Sleep on the other hand... well. 😅

I usually tend to sleep on my side actually! I didn’t know that though, that’s interesting.

I’ve been working on all sorts of stuff lately! I’m finally out of the crummy mental state I’ve been in since like, May, (mostly anyways, it’s way better than it’s been) and I’ve been bouncing around and working on a lot of different things. Trying especially to focus on stuff I haven’t updated in a while though, which right now mostly means brethren in a cradle.

Here’s a bit of what I managed to write, since you said you’d like to see a wip :)

Warriors and Wolfie came running back through the bushes, blood staining the fur by Wolfie’s mouth.

“More bokoblins,” Warriors said quickly, wiping some blood from his sword. “Only three, but I’d bet anything there are more around. We need to go.”

“But you said we weren’t moving,” Wild replied a little cheekily, and Warriors gave him a flat look.

“That was before I knew there were monsters about. We need a more defensible area— with you and the rancher injured, along with keeping Ember safe, I don’t like our odds in this spot.”

Warriors looked around, frowning in the direction where Twilight has gone.

“Why isn’t he back yet?” he asked worriedly, and Wild and Four looked at each other, then down at Wolfie.

Wolfie twitched an ear.

#thank you very much anon!#I appreciate seeing you around and sending these to everyone #it’s very sweet of you #answers from the floor #anon #wip #brethren in a cradle #that wip might be changed quite a bit #it’s very fluid at the moment

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kim-jonghyeon · 2 years

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Kim Jonghyeon Interview [1st Look, November 2022]

[source - thank you discopixi!]

We've seen "Acrostic Poem Master" Kim Jonghyeon in action. (laughs) How many have you done at this point?

I'm not sure. I did so many when we shot the 1st Look digital video today. Making acrostic poems is like solving problems. More than being good at it, I feel like I get lucky every now and then so I get a pass.

It's like your talent. Once you've done it one time, it's a special skill that you often get asked to do elsewhere. That's how deep of an impression it left. Is your album coming out in November in its final stage?

We've been working on it for about three months. Finally, we've finished recording, but there's still a lot to do. The album's name is MERIDIEM. It's Latin for "noon", when the sun is at its strongest.

It's quite meaningful for a start. What were your expectations or mindset for your first solo album?

It is. Since it's the first album that has my name on it, that's filled with only my voice, I was actually more scared than excited. While I was working on it, I kept thinking about how the fans would listen to it or receive it. That was how I managed to control my fears.

Though you wanted to know about others' reactions, you must have had a lot of time to focus on yourself while preparing for the album on your own.

Since I focused entirely on myself, I felt a lot of things in that time. I would sometimes think, "I can do this kind of voice" or "I can express this much." Though on the other hand, it was through those thoughts that I became deeply aware of my shortcomings.

What were those shortcomings?

When I was promoting in a team, I was mostly doing rap, so I didn't have a lot of time to practice singing. While I was preparing for my solo album, I had to fill up an entire song on my own so I practiced a lot, thinking about what I lacked.

Since it's a solo album, the album name must have just been the start of a lot of decisions you had to make. Did your decisions have more weight this time? We heard that you were the type to think alone about a decision for a long time before making it.

I thought so much about what kind of music I wanted and how to express it. So it was hard just to do it based on my own opinions. I talked a lot with my company's CEO, and he said that it would be good if we could fully express what the person called "Kim Jonghyeon" is thinking right now. Those words alone really got to me. Maybe that can be read when people listen to the album.

You've been credited as the writer of several songs while Nu'est was promoting. Will we be able to hear some of your lyrics this time as well?

Songs I've written are in this album. We're done working on it, but I got quite interested in it so I intend to keep writing more lyrics.

What aspect of it are you interested in?

Firstly, I thought that I'd like to tell my story. Each person has certain stories only they can tell and lyrics are the same. I want to record all my thoughts and feelings. That process was really interesting.

Ordinary things that leave an impression can one day be written as lyrics.

That's right. I have times when I think, "Oh, this is a nice word? This topic is good, too" just passing by somewhere. Then I usually write it in the notes app in my phone so I can use it for later. Lately I've been listening to emotional hiphop music. When I look at the lyrics, I feel like I naturally learn things. "This is how someone might think. This is how someone might express themselves."

Another special thing about this album is that it's been 10 years since your debut. There must not have been a lot of time to cut yourself some slack while you were going through it. Since it's all passed, what are some things that have crossed your mind since then?

I think I've learned how to be a bit more relaxed. When you look for the answers calmly, instead of hastily, you're able to get a better answer.

Have you also gone through a slump before you were able to reach that calmness?

Of course, in that length of time, it's impossible not to have gone through a slump. I wasn't able to get over it masterfully every time, but I just didn't want to get too consumed by that feeling. When I get faced with difficulties, I'm the type to go, "Let's do the things I can do first." It's hard not to think that a difficult time won't turn into a slump that lasts forever, but that's just how I choose to spend that time.

You seem to have learned how to think realistically having been through a lot over a long time. You don't have any anxieties over this new album?

Since I have to show my whole self, "Kim Jonghyeon" the artist, I've prepared more thoroughly. I've done my best, thinking, "Let's keep going until [the album] comes out," and as time passes, I keep thinking I have to do even better. Though of course, this isn't to think hastily or impatiently.

You showed your whole self in today's shoot, too. Though you've had solo shoots during your group activities, is your mental attitude a bit different now?

It felt like it was a new start. Talking about my album in this interview and hearing questions about myself makes me feel like the time for me to show everything I've prepared has truly come. I even tried poses that I probably wouldn't have done on any other shoot.

Now that we've finished the shoot and we're doing the interview, the time on the clock says that it's 2:30 in the afternoon. Since your album's concept is MERIDIEM or noon, when is your favorite time of day?

My favorite is the cool night time, from about 9pm to 12mn?

You posted a picture of the Han River a few days ago, and it was right around that time.

Yes, I was driving with my sister and we stopped for a bit and took that photo.

Are you close with your sister? That's a little different from when people usually talk about their siblings.

My sister was the first person who listened to the track in this album after I recorded it. She didn't beat around the bush and say "Good job," but instead was really honest and said, "This is what I felt, what if you try this?" Talking with my sister made me think, "This is probably what the public will feel when they listen to this song."

Family can always give it to you straight.

Yes. There were a lot of times when I purposefully said, "You have to tell me this objectively." I have a lot of affection for my own songs, so there's obviously a lot of things I won't be able to see for myself.

For a while, it was brunch or painting pictures, but is your new hobby going on a drive?

I've been so caught up in working on the album lately that I don't really have time for hobbies. Once album promotions finish and things calm down, I might paint again. These days, I feel satisfied with small healing points of my day rather than doing hobbies. Depending on my mood on a certain day, I feel a lot better if I just eat something delicious. I try not to think of anything too heavy or serious in that moment and I feel happier.

There are only two months left in the year. What did this year mean to you?

This year has a lot of different meanings for me. It was the year my group activities ended, and the year I had a new start as a solo artist. I've received a lot of love and support from so many people, so without hoping for much more, it was a year when I can think, "I wish I could be with these people, just like now."

You've previously beautifully said that this album was "a flower that bloomed on the road Nu'est walked." When the promotions for this album end, what meaning do you hope it will have for you?

Hmm, the start of my journey. This is my new start, right? I can't know what will happen in the future, but happy memories might arise and more precious people might appear. There's obviously no way to have only good things happen. But even if had things happen, I think there will always be something to learn within that. So I wish this album could be the start of my journey and I want to feel a lot with this start.

[this is a fan translation by a non-native korean speaker and may contain inaccuracies. it has not yet been proofread or edited.]

#as someone who majored in writing in college #i am trying so hard to pretend this whole keeping stuff in my notes as writing fodder for later is not insanely attractive #and endearing #sorry for the late post! busy weekend #김종현 #뉴이스트 #kim jonghyeon #nu'est #shanibugi trans

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scoops404 · 1 year

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this is late! but i'm always curious with rpf writers: how do you consider the 'characters' you write about against the real person? as in, how do you personally manage the separation between the two? especially in regards to shipping as the fandom as a whole seems to veer more towards truthing and an assumption that we, as fans, are able to truly perceive these people.

i see you're very respectful of the creators boundaries in regards to personal information that hasn't been freely given. has this ever been a struggle for you? it's almost impossible not to learn things about creators that has been obtained by shady means as there's an obviously toxic community dedicated to stalking and doxing creators and then using that information to harass fans by shoving it in their face. hopefully this hasn't happened to you but if it has and you've been unwillingly shown personal information about the people you're writing about, how do you personally deal with that while writing to ensure you're respectful of their right to privacy?

sorry if this is a bit more esoteric than you were asking for! i won't be offended if you choose not to answer :) love your writing! you're definitely one of my go-to authors if people ask for recs!

It took me a while longer to get to this ask because I wanted to think on it, hope you don't mind :)

Also, this got super long so it's below the cut

I never for one second have thought I actually know the ccs, in any of the rpf fandoms I've been in. I was trying to think of how I've always felt that distinction, and honestly, I think it's because I've read so many AUs that it's easier to separate fic!cc from irl!cc - dunno if that helps, but for me it's like the written versions in stories are so different because they always have the tone of the author in the style of the piece, the "characters" are filtered through their eyes, no matter how grounded in their quirks and vernacular the author is, they can't 100% take themselves out of it. That's how I always see the distinction, i guess. No idea if this is making sense to anyone else.

Moreover, I've also always believed the ccs deserve their privacy, so for someone to write a story about them and think they haven't missed any nuances of who these people are as people, is like so dumb? We can't 100% know them, and we SHOULDN'T 100% know them. There should be a wall dividing us from them.

As far as writing them--some stories they are completely different but you have to reach at something true about them and expand on it. I'm talking mostly about AUs like thief and cop AU or king and knight AU because those obviously have dynamics that aren't inherent in our Dream and George. For the style of fic I like to write, which is mostly IRL or "reality" based with a twist, you can only guess at what you think is real and true to each one of them and focus on drawing that part of them out, in regards to whatever the plot needs. With "Fallen," George's mom's divorce is the catalyst that draws them together, so we needed the angst of George seeing that relationship fall apart and wondering if his relationship with Dream will inevitably go the same way. In "Deep in the Dream of Game" their lives are at stake and so the protective side of each of them comes out and the strategist side of Dream that works to get them home and keep everybody together and alive. I hope that makes sense. In "Shine Here to Us" George's jealousy of Dream having a child with someone else prompts him to rearrange his life (again) in order to be the closest person to Dream, to do it with him.

We've seen snippets of private George, of how he keeps information close to his chest, how he doesn't talk about past relationships, etc and I channeled that into Fallen. We've seen Dream be protective over George -- the cooking stream and telling him not to put his hand in hot oil, "Tiktok fix your shit", etc and I channeled that into Deep in Dream. Anytime Dream expresses interest in someone else, George gets jealous (I feel like this happened with Foolish) -- and thus a nugget for Shine here to us.

I do try to be respectful of their boundaries. Before George's last name was in his meet-up vlog, I'd seen it in lots of stories and that never sat right with me. Not in a way where I'm passing judgment on those writers, I wouldn't, it's just a line I myself wouldn't cross. I've made guesses at things based on stories they've freely told us, but I've been lucky enough to avoid doxxed info. I came into fandom twitter space (where most of it seemed to leak) after that seemed to die down--or I was lucky enough to avoid it, I dunno. My friends said there were times doxxed info would be in replies to cc'd tweets and I never saw that, which I'm grateful for. I've been on tumblr a LONG time, but on this account, I've never gotten critblur asks like most of the big blogs did (So I've been told after the fact, and also THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO SEND THEM TO ME, DO NOT). So, I don't go looking, and I don't incorporate private information into my stories.

I think if I had been shown private info, I'm pretty good at forgetting things. I have to double check stories with my friends and betas all the time, so I think I'd be okay at not using that info.

It's interesting to me to see the line of fandom moving as I've aged in fandom. A lot of people in this community are young (which is great!) but the "rules" of this fandom are a lot different from other fandoms. Though, I do think it's really cool to have the main three--dream team--cool with being shipped and written about. I think Dream made a really smart choice when he was blowing up. (not to say I think he played into queerbaiting--he's a person not a corporation and can't queerbait. I'm pretty sure he and George are just like that.)

I firmly believe he did a lot of research on cultivating a fandom when he started popping off and when he realized his audience was primarily LGBT and leaning female, he embraced it and encouraged them in things that female leaning people tend to do in fandom, which is, mostly transformative works. There's an interesting article that i can't find that talks about the traditional "roles" of men vs women in fandom spaces and men do more archiving and collecting ((think racecars, pokemon cards, mcc reddit spreadsheets, etc)) which is not to say women can't do that, but apparently women lean more towards writing fan fiction and drawing fan art. I think that article didn't talk about trans or nonbinary people but I see a LOT of them in this space, which is, again, amazing.

Anyway, Dream's growth in large part is tied to not only his creative videos and terrific editing skills, but the cultivation of a fandom that he allows full creative freedom--edits, tiktoks, analysis videos, fanfic, and fan art!! I don't know any other cc who encourages artists as much as Dream and I think that's really helped him.

But I do think that sometimes people confuse him being open with his fans to being open in the sense that they are owned information about him. They aren't. They never will be. He tells us way more than we deserve to know and way more than other ccs tell their fans. I block those people and keep it moving.

Sorry that this got way off track, lmao. Clearly I just needed to ramble about fandom stuff for a while. Sorry.

Thank you for reccing my fics, that's lovely to hear! I really love writing for this community :D

#on rpf

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tj-crochets · 2 years

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I ask this genuinely: how do you manage to create so much? I really admire how much you make things, and enjoy your hobbies so much. I'm trying to figure out how to feel motivated to do projects again

This got extremely ramble-y, so it's below a read more

A lot of it is honestly luck? I have a stay-at-home job that has a fair amount of down time* where I have to be sitting at my computer in case someone emails me/messages me/calls me but can make things while waiting for emails, and it pays enough I can afford to live and buy craft supplies. I've also had a bunch of people, including relatives, neighbors, friends' relatives, and strangers destash and give me a lot of craft supplies for free. Part of it is that I get...idk how to word it. Antsy and listless when I haven't made things in a while? Making things is enrichment for me, and I know that, so I make a point to not go more than a few days without making something. Sometimes I don't want to make things, but I know I'll feel better if I finish a project**, so I'll crochet a little monster or make a tiny witch hat or something, and usually once I start making something I feel better and want to keep making things. Part of it is that I let myself make things on a whim. I've accumulated enough colors of minky, yarn, and embroidery floss*** that I can pretty much make any small thing I think of immediately after I think of it. This isn't universally applicable advice; I have the storage space to (mostly) store it neatly, and I know myself well enough to know I will absolutely lose enthusiasm for a project if I have to wait too long to start it. If I'm making a quilt but have a strong urge to make a tiny monster, I will take a break from the quilt to make a monster (I sometimes struggle with finishing big projects because of this, but it's a work in progress, and I always finish the project eventually). I also love craft supplies as decor. I let myself switch between hobbies as I have the urge to, and trust that I will eventually go back to previous hobbies. I used to guilt myself about changing hobbies, but now I embrace it. Learning new things is good for me! I just spent like three months quilting, like two weeks making doll clothes and a doll to fit them, and now two and a half days embroidering. I'm thinking about making a teddy bear sized tricorn hat. A few weeks ago I made a chain mail/scale mail bracelet, and before then I think it had been like five years since I made anything with chain mail. Sometimes I do get caught up in guilt about crafts. Like, guilt that I promised to make someone something and haven't yet, or that I spent money on supplies but haven't used them, or that someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them. It can absolutely drain all my crafting motivation. When that happens, I try to take a step back, and find what is stopping me/causing me guilt. Is a gift late? That's okay, my friends and family understand crafting takes time and won't be upset. Did I spend money on supplies and not use them yet? That's okay, picking them out brought me joy and inspiration and I will use them in the future. Someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them? How awesome that they thought of me! Someday I'll make something cool with that stuff, and it's great to have another metaphorical crayon in my crayon box to open up more possibilities of things to make. Sometimes I also get hung up on patterns, where part of it is just utterly unenjoyable to me and I can't bring myself to start making the thing. When that happens, I try to figure out what bugs me about it. Is it too complex a pattern? Okay, I'll pick a simpler one. Do I hate hand sewing applique? Okay, I'll look up machine applique, or use a different fabric that doesn't need applique, or pick a different pattern. I think I might've gotten a little off topic? Part of it is also that I struggle to focus on watching shows or even sometimes reading if I am not also making something.

*I mean, it varies day to day, but a lot more downtime than my first job

**there's some neurochemical thing about finishing a project, especially when the finished project creates a tangible object? ***I used to make friendship bracelets

#ask away!#the person behind the yarn #sorry nonny this got really long lol #I also have unintentional automatic negative reinforcement built in #in that the weirdness of my adrenals and my allergies combined mean if I get angry or stressed enough #I will literally have an allergic reaction to my own stress/anger #(it's like adrenals dump stuff in the blood stream triggering mast cells to dump stuff triggering allergic reaction)#but it does mean it's WAAAAY easier for me to notice when I am being unkind to myself than it used to be #and if I overwork myself I tend to have a POTS flareup and my blood pressure drops dramatically #between them my self-care is a looooot better than it used to be #which helps!#making stuff for people also helps #I love making things for my friends and their kids and the kid I used to babysit #my friend's son absolutely loves dinosaurs #and I never struggle with motivation making him dinosaurs because I know it will make him happy #so...love? love is a motivation for crafting? but also so is boredom and the inability to sit still and the lure of cute fabric #and problem solving. sometimes I make stuff just to figure out how I can.

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gladiatortale · 2 years

Text

Therapeutic Fandom Obsessions Round 2: ELECTRIC BUGALOO 🎉🎉 ...with some MAJOR edits lol

EDIT: oh what a fucking STORY THIS ONE IS. so. I had every intention in the universe of posting this in January like I did last year... but my partner at the time happened to read (as you'll see down below) the lil "life updates" section over my shoulder and THAT is how he found out I have been (still am??) questioning my gender identity.

It was not a conversation I was ready to have with him/ wanted to have with him (which maybe should have been a bigger red flag... BUT I DIGRESS), and it began a six month winding path to the collapse of our relationship. Was this the only thing? No. Did it, in conjunction with the fights we both had and weren't having (it was weird...), become what did us in in the end? Yeah. Little bit.

I was in a swirl of emotions from the time the conversation happened until the break up, and I'm still in a bit of a swirl now. But I'm doing better. Feeling more myself than I have in a while, and being forced to FEEL my emotions and not lean on/ focus on someone else's emotions (AND BOY HOWDY is my brain fucking LOUD without a good distraction). I've found some "good distractions" in the last six months, but mostly found joy the company of friends and their phenomenal support. I'll fill you in on all that nonsense next year (or in January because this is the halfway point lol) so stay tuned for part three! ;) But INDUDGE ME FRIENDS. Pretend we're still in January with my fandom recaps! And I hope you find some joy in my blast from the past xxx

END EDIT.

hellooooOOOOOO EVERYONE!! Thought you'd seen the last of these posts from me?? THINK AGAIN.

Is it a little late to be posting a New Year's post? MAYBE. Did my partner come to visit and it took up all my attention because I missed him more that words could say??? ALSO MAYBE. lol

But I guess you can call this my official decision to make this an annual thing. *shrugs*

Well. What a fucking year. Somehow someway my mental health (are we even allowed to say that on here anymore???) has improved this year. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a hopeless insomniac, and you could practically set your calendar by the cycles of my seasonal depression. But somehow, in spite of all that, I've actually made strides toward feeling better.

MINI RECAP.

I moved to California to take care of my grandmother (and she managed to take care of me in ways I never expected).

I'm finally moving forward with a diagnosis (still up in the air on what the fuck is going on BUT HEY. PROGRESS).

Had an (ongoing) gender crisis that was NOT FUN to deal with so late in the game... but still glad it happened.

I found a job I really enjoy in a field I've always wanted to get in to.

And perhaps most importantly, I've reframed the way I think about from "getting better" to "feeling better." --- Said this last year, but I don't think whatever is going on upstairs is something I'll really ever truly "heal" from. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try and make myself feel better.

And between the little ways (reframing my phrasing and thinking), to the much bigger shit (facing my fears around doctors, diagnoses, and medicine), I've made progress I can be proud of this year.

And perhaps my hyper fixations are only salve and bandaids on top of much bigger wounds, but they (AND THE BLESSED AND BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THAT ENJOYED THEM WITH ME) helped me get through a tough year.

So I hope everyone that's reading this found some joy in 2021 and will find so much more of it in 2022. And hey, if you're looking for a rabbit hole to fall down in search of some dopamine... this list this always here, and I'm ALWAYS around to chat ;)

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, PLEASE ENJOY MY OBSESSIONS OF 2021 🎉🎉

January 2021 -- Bungou Stray Dogs (Anime/Manga)

DAMN DANIEL BACK AT IT AGAIN???? (Did I just bring a vine reference into a post from 2021? Yes. Yes. I did.) but LORD IN HEAVEN, I'M BACK ON MY BULLSHIT.

STORYTIME. In November of last year, I managed to drag @idancewiththefairies down the anime rabbit hole with me and she wanted some recommendations for Top Tier shows after finishing Yuri!!! On Ice. I tossed Bungou Stray Dogs in her general direction and the rest is history.

HOLY HELL did my fandom obsession come back with a burning passion. The flame was FULLY reignited and I'm so glad it was.

Joined the fandom: April 2020

Obsession peaked: I *THOUGHT* it peaked in 2020, but that was NOTHING compared to January 2021.

Fandom friends: @idancewiththefairies hi ;) xxx, @lil-1nsane, @aeriamamaduck -- I've managed to kidnap all the usual suspects...

Fanfics you NEED to read:

'The Shinigami' by @cataclysmicevent2019 -- Supernatural Yakuza AU. She was already the unprecedented QUEEN of BSD and Soukoku fics in my mind and had earned my undying loyalty... AND HOLY HELL THIS FIC just reinforced that even more. Desperately waiting for this one to finish updating.

'Always Yours' by @cataclysmicevent2019 -- ABO period piece with arranged marriage(s). God bless Rachel and her eternal undying patience to put up with me as she waited a million fucking years for me to finish this fic. AAAAAHHHHHHHH. HOW DID YOU DO THAT??? oh man oh man oh man. This fic is a DOOZY. Lures you in with a false sense of security and then breaks your fucking neck with chapter 6. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND YOU WILL LOVE IT.

Favourite moments:

Pacing back and forth in my aunt's garden (and getting a nasty sunburn) for hours voice noting with Rachel around fan theories and fanfiction recs.

Finally getting in to the manga -- and boy HOWDY did I REALLY get in to it (RIP my wallet).

Commissioning one of my favourite artists to do a piece for one of my favourite fanfics -- THIS MASTERPIECE if you haven't seen it already.

March 2021 -- Violet Evergarden (Anime/Movie)

Full disclosure. I don't cry at movies. I just don't. Honestly wish I could, you all make it sound so therapeutic. BUT THIS SHOW. oooooOOOOHHHHOO LORD. THIS FUCKING SHOW. TO SAY I WAS UNPREPARED FOR HOW THIS WAS GONNA MAKE ME FEEL IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR.

Violet Evergarden had been floating through my Netflix recommendations for nearly two years by the time I decided to pick it up this past March. BRILLIANT DECISION this is one of those shows that is FULLY worth the hype.

And KYO ANI, stunningly gorgeous as always. Watching any one of their beautifully animated shows from pre-arson attack days is always tinged with a touch of melancholy, but it is nice to think the animators live on through their art if even in a small way.

Go watch it if you haven't; the message is timeless, the world building and character development are both stunning, with an art style that is simply out of this world.

Joined the fandom: March 2021

Obsession peaked: Around the same time -- this was a fast and fierce love affair.

Fandom friends: Aileen xxx

Fanfics you NEED to read: SEND ME YOUR RECS IF YOU KNOW ANY GOOD ONES.

Favourite moments:

EPISODE TEN. HOLY HELL IN A HAND BASKET. Can you call a borderline trauma response a favourite moment??? idk brah but it was soooo good. Literally had to watch the end like three times bc I kept crying and missing the subtitles...

Catching up with the show in time to watch the final movie in the cinema (in a rare moment when the pandemic was a bit more mild... what a hopeful time lol).

FINALLY getting my non-anime friend into the medium with this show (and making her cry at the same part as me).

March 2021 -- Figure Skating (Sport)

At the risk of this list becoming just the same as 2020's recap... here is the SECOND fandom to make a reappearance!

I don't think my love for this sport is ever really going to dwindle or die, but it certainly has had its moments when it's shone brighter and March 2021 was definitely one of them.

I got myself up at ASS CRACK O'CLOCK in the morning on the day of worlds (and then again like three weeks later for WTT) to scream in silence as the sun came up and I FREAKED OUT ABOUT THAT RESULT (hooooLEEEE MOTHER I did NOT see that one coming).

Joined the fandom: Childhood. 'Tis one of my oldest fandoms. Obsession peaked: (re)peaked in March of 2021. Fandom friends: HARUKA YOU QUEEN. Thank you for staying up/ waking up to chat with me xxx Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE ABOUT REAL PEOPLE NOOOOO THANK YOU. Favourite moments:

Live reacting and Instagram story-ing to World's at ASS CRACK O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING (thank you California and your ridiculous timezone).

Kaori and her stunning Matrix skate at all times this season but ESPECIALLY at Team Trophy.

Ranting with Rachel as always ;) xx

April 2021 -- Demon Slayer (Anime/Movie)

Sandra my dear. I should never doubt your recs (and yet somehow I'm still dragging my feet on FMAB...) BUT THIS TIME. I ACTUALLY TOOK YOUR ADVICE IN A TIMELY FASHION. Best decision of 2021.

OOOOOH THE ANGST. OOOOOOOOOH THE ANIMATION (!!!). I was not prepared for how this show was gonna fucking WRECK me. Walked into it thinking, "hmmm, monster-of-the-week-shounen. how bad could it be?"

BAD. VERY BAD. SO VERY BAD. but also SOOOO FUCKING GOOD. If season two and Mugen Train haven't made you hop on the bandwagon at this point idk what will. But believe me when I say this is FAR from your run-of-the-mill action/monster shounen.

Joined the fandom: April 2021

Obsession peaked: Almost immediately after.

Fandom friends: PAULIUS MA BOIIII, @aeriamamaduck thank you Sandra xxx.

Fanfics you NEED to read: Some how I haven't gotten around to this fandom yet, but I know it's coming.

Favourite moments:

Driving down the 405 and singing along to 'Gurenge' on full blast after watching Mugen Train (I NEEDED A PLACE FOR MY FEELINGS TO GO.)

Managing to stay spoiler free for TWO YEARS... but then seeing a spoiler on a Gigguk video THAT DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH DEMON SLAYER. still salty...

Eating my words on this being an overhyped shounen. Sometimes it feels great to be wrong.

May 2021 -- Fruits Basket (Anime)

oh my babies how i've fucking missed you... WAY BACK IN THE YESTERYEAR OF THE ANIME DARK AGES (lol) when your lil bean was just getting in to anime, this title came up CONSTANTLY on "must watch lists." And while I feel like I eventually learned the plot through osmosis without ever sitting down to watch the full thing.

FAST FORWARD TO MARCH OF 2021. I am hit by the sudden unexplained urge to fucking RAWDOG one of the most traumatic scenes in shojo anime (perhaps all of anime) with no build-up, no foreplay. Yes, season 1, episode 24 (WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING???)

FAST FORWARD AGAIN TO LATE APRIL OF 2021. I am pulled head-fucking-first into the orbit of a fandom I'd been skating around for nearly a decade and I have ZERO regrets. The anime broke my heart and put it back together again all at once, a GORGEOUS and fitting end to the Furuba saga.

Joined the fandom: idk brah... somewhere in my past??? Feels like I was kind of always there in some way.

Obsession peaked: May 2021. I could not fucking shut up about it.

Fandom friends: Raneen. Thank you for you stunning edits my dear.

Fanfics you NEED to read:

'I'll Be Standing By You' by Eboni -- Cancer Death Fic. OHHHH MAAAAAN. I read the tags. I often actively CHOOSE death fics. I knew what I was getting in to. *inhale* BUT HOLY HELL THIS HURTS LIKE A BITCH. Told almost exclusively from Yuki's POV, this stunning portrayal of the Sohma family faced the impossible and impending reality of Tohru's death fucking was so unbelievably good. If you're brave enough, READ IT.

'Another Banquet?' by SailorSong -- Future Fic, One-shot. Sweet future fic, largely canon compliant and some pseudo-angsty banter between Kyo and Yuki that warmed my cold dead heart.

Favourite moments:

Losing my fucking MARBLES with Yuki and Kyo's backstories in season 2, part 2 (THE ANGST. THE HAT. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS. I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT.)

Yuki and Kyo FINALLY having it out when the truth is revealed in season 3. ("Me!? I was jealous of you!" OH LORD SAVE ME. NOW I will never get over it EVEN MORE.)

June 2021 -- The Case Study of Vanitas (Manga)

Ass-kicking bisexuals. That's it. That's the whole show. Well... not the whole show, but a sizable portion gives off the *vibe* ya know? ;)

This was one of the first times I started with the manga rather than waiting for the anime. holy fuck I'm so glad I was impatient. Both Jun Mochizuki's art style and the story itself are so stunning (and the manga covers are just breathtaking so I recommend picking them up if you get the chance).

I specify with this series that I've only really become invested in the manga because despite the anime coming out around the same time, I've really had trouble sinking my teeth (heh. vampires. teeth.) into for some reason. I think the truth lies in the manga itself; the anime is very true to the manga but both are pretty slow in the beginning. Other than a very sneaky plot point revealed at the end of episode one (and chapter one) it does drag for the first couple of chapters, and THEN takes off like a shot. For people looking to get into either version KEEP GOING, it is soooo worth it. But even I will admit it *is* a slow start.

Joined the fandom: June 2021

Obsession peaked: Hilariously peaked right after I finished reading volume 8... oh the irony.

Fandom friends: Annika (@/mid_wintxr on insta), your edits kill me dead girlie xx

Fanfics you NEED to read: NEED to get around to fics in this fandom. I can just TELL they're gonna be good.

Favourite moments:

Driving all the way to fucking San Diego in pursuit of volume one of the manga during a printing shortage. Sounds way less fun than it actually was.

Getting through my first manga binge read with this series.

July 2021 -- Given (Anime/Movie)

In direct contrast to my previous month's obsession... bisexuals I would like to give an ass-kicking to.

HOOOOOOEEEE BOIIIII. Idk what I was expecting y'all but there was WAAAAAY more angst than I prepared for. HOLY FUCK. The Yuki plotline??? THE MOVIE?????

Joined the fandom: July 2021

Obsession peaked: also July 2021

Fandom friends: Fiji @lil-1nsane, thanks for suffering with me.

Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven't found any that have really grabbed me yet.

Favourite moments:

Jumping around the house like a madwoman as I kept pausing the movie because I was so stressed.

Playing a game of "musical chairs" with different Barnes & Noble locations trying to find the later volumes during a paper shortage... (idk if this counts as a "fave" moment, but it was sure memorable).

August 2021 -- Free! Iwatobi Swim Club (Anime/Movie)

Lord in heaven, I have never been so late to the party. To be honest, it shocks even me that I jumped on the Yuri On Ice train before paying dues to its Queer-Subtext-So-Overt-It-Stops-Being-Subtext older sibling show. (Literally this show is the sports anime equivalent of, "This bitch walked, she fucking strutted that runway mama, so that PEPPA. COULD. RUUUUUUN!!") But hey, better (EIGHT YEARS) later than never.

OH MAN. I did not count of how much these boys would fucking crush my heart. As a former competitive high school and recruited college athlete (shocking I know lol), this hit me in the feels WAAAAY harder than I was expecting. The subtle undercurrent of pressure and angst (tied together with a fucking BRILLIANT voice cast) made the show feel more real, and completely addicting to watch.

So if somehow you have managed to avoid this gem over the last decade, and are looking for a high school sports anime that is angstier than Haikyuu (I'm sorry Haikyuu fans please don't kill me xD) THIS is the perfect place to go.

Joined the fandom: July or August of 2021. Harder to pin this one down bc I spent months TALKING about picking up this show without ever actually DOING it.

Obsession peaked: September-ish? But tbh still going strong. This show has quickly snuck up into my favourites list.

Fandom friends: Rachel... FINISH SEASON TWO DAMMIT.

Fanfics you NEED to read:

'Coral and Bone' by @macbetha -- Mermaid AU. this fucking fic... Honestly? I don't know why I started reading it. I'm not normally a fan of the mermaid AU, but MAAAAAAN. This fic had me eating my fucking WORDS. I normally need to be hyper focused when reading, but I simply could not put this down. I was RAVENOUSLY reading it on a ten hour noisy AirFrance flight, and it felt like I was alone (and sobbing) in my own little world. ALSO Makoto and Haru may be the main couple... BUT THE SAMEZUKA BOYS STEAL THE FUCKING SPOTLIGHT in this. omg THE TWIST. AND THE SCENE WITH THE ANCHOR. AND NITORI WITH THE--- aaaaaahhhhhhh. read it. just read it.

'Eyes Wide Open All The Time' by @macbetha -- Gritty drug and prostitution AU with a shocking amount of heart and pathos. Confession time. I have not finished reading this one. HOWEVER, chapter one *A L O N E* is enough of a reason for you to pic up this fic. It is LOOOONG (chapter one is nearly 20,000 words all on its own), but the world building is SOOOO fucking solid and it's the perfect amount of angst for your resident angst queen over here (read: a fucking HIGH amount).

Favourite moments:

The antagonist to snarky deuteragonist trend that I saw unfold from season to season. (Rin, Ikuya, I see you I see you).

SOUSUKE AND RIN. HOLY FUCK. like LISTEN. I was fully in the RinHaru camp at the end of season one. But the season two twist??? and the A N G S T. *chef's kiss*

^^^ follow up to this one. MAKOHARU. *chef's kiss*

The whole of the Samezuka team. I love me my Iwatobi darlings, but there's just something about these chaotic fools that warms my heart.

The waves of swimming nostalgia I was hit with that made me want to get back in to swimming.

November 2021 -- Vampire Knight (Anime/Manga)

L I S T E N. I CAN EXPLAIN… okay maybe no I can’t… flipped this soap opera of an anime on a few weeks back when I saw it on Netflix (the motivation to do so lying halfway between idle curiosity and my desire to fact check a few things a literal DECADE on from my first watch). I was NOT counting on this shit sucking me back down the proverbial rabbit hole.

Is it a masterpiece? FUCK NO.

Is it even all that good? Eh *shrugs* Not really. The show/series had a LOT of potential (which is why pics are essential in this fandom and I am GETTING THERE) that it truthfully never really lived up to.

Is the show worth the watch? ABSOLUTELY. Maybe this is nostalgia talking, but it’s a fun show. Dark and moody and very atmospheric, the anime is wildly melodramatic with interesting characters and the charm of late 2000s shojo that helped get me into anime in the first place. So pop open a bottle of (red) wine, sit down with ya friends and watch this teenage train wreck run it’s course. You can thank me later ;)

Joined the fandom: Like???? June 2011?? Fun fact! It was my first “big kid” anime! (I… I imagine that explains a lot)

Obsession peaked: NOVEMBER 2021. BC NOW I HAVE ADULT MONEY WITH WHICH TO MAKE POOR DECISIONS.

Fandom friends: Sandra @aeriamamaduck (imma drag you back to hell with me babes xxx)

Fanfics you NEED to read:

'The Week of Four Thursdays' by @madmaenad -- holy god good gracious lordt in high heaven... this fic... this M O T H E R F U C K I N G MASTERPIECE OF A FIC. It is a *inhale* 400,000 word, arranged political marriage, faking-dating-to-real-dating, (mostly) canon compliant, ABO, fix-it fic WITH A POLYSHIP and it has RUINED ME. OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDD. It goes without exaggeration when I say this IMMEDIATELY shot up to my top 3 favourite fics of ALL TIME. It is beyond words. Her characterization of Zero, Yuuki, and Kaname is SPOT ON, while interlacing the framework of the characters with a maturity and nuance they FUCKING DESERVED, but never got in canon. It literally fixes everything. AND THE SMUT???? *chef's kiss* Never has a fic more rightly earned the "fix-it" mantel. GOOOO REEEEAD IT.

Favourite moments:

Watching it again ten years on and hit with waves of nostalgia.

Watching it again... AND NOTICING ALL THE QUEER CODED CHARACTERS (I see you Aido... I see you xD). They're everywhere, almost hilarious that I missed it the first time.

Any Zero and Kaname interaction. THESE BOYS. THE DRAMA. THE TENSION.

T A K U M A I C H I J O. MY PRECIOUS BOYYYY.

THAT FUCKING SCENE WITH ZERO AND ICHIRU. *animalistic wails of pain* WHYYY???? (can a scene that sad be a fave? Yes. Yes it can.)

December 2021 -- Blue Period (Manga)

wow. just. wow.

OKAY. STORY TIME.

Is it a bit cliche to call this a masterpiece when everyone else has said that a thousand times before? Perhaps.

Joined the fandom: This bad boy slipped on to my radar just after I started working at the bookstore.

Obsession peaked: I chewed through

Fandom friends: COME FIND MEEEEEE.

Fanfics you NEED to read: None yet, but give me recs if you have them!

Favourite moments: ALL OF CHAPTER ONE. The conversations about talent are just *chef's kiss*

Honorable Mentions:

Yuri!!! On Ice (Anime): Ah YOI... My indomitable steadfast love... Honestly? I could give this a section all on it's own as a "constant back of mind" fandom. It pulled me back into my love of anime and brought me closer to some of my favourite people in the world. Eternally making history and eternally in my heart.

Haikyuu!! (Anime): Listen y'all... I have T R I E D (and failed) WITH THIS BITCH TWICE ALREADY. It's just *too* happy. A GORL NEEDS HER ANGST OKAY?? But I think 2022 is gonna be the year (or a girl can dream can't she???) *shrugs*

Sk8 the Infinity (Anime): SPEAKING OF GAY SPORTS ANIME!! lol this was such a flashbomb love affair. Loved the series and was obsessed with it (and the stellar fanfics) for about three weeks... and then my love fled like the wind. Cherry's story (and the subtextual past abuse that is so beautifully implied) RUINED me. 10 out of 10. Everyone should watch.

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steampunkenglish · 1 year

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Finding Time, Making Time: Writing in Spite of Time Constraint

I've Got a Lot on My Plate

Those of you who know me, know that I stay pretty busy. I have a full-time job, am involved with lots of projects, and have lots of side projects. I'm learning (late in life) that this is part of my own neurodivergency (I'm not going to even try to self-diagnose here, but I have some deep suspicions about my personal wiring and why I do what I do). Sometimes, I'm a writing machine. Other times, I'm overwhelmed and just want go hide under my blanket with my Ninja-cat and crochet.

Despite this, I've managed to write a novel and a ton of short stories that are pretty darn good and have gotten some attention. This work has started a small, but growing second career as a professional writer. My childhood dream is coming true! Huzzah!

And it's terrifying because there's a part of my brain (remember that neurodivergent part?) that's panicking because it's not sure I can keep up with all that now.

Structure and Why I Try to Ask It of Myself

When I started writing in earnest, I learned that I write best early in the morning (yes, I'm one of those people). I love the quiet before anyone else is awake. If you look outside, the sky is a perfect shade of azure at about 4:30 or 5, and the shift from that to pink and purple and gold is one of the most sublime things in the world. Mostly, I just love having the space and time that's just mine (and the cats'). This has been somewhat diminished by the fact that I now live in a house where someone else also is up at the same time as I get up (my mom), but I am managing to carve out that same solitude the best I can.

I work hard to use the early morning to sit with the writing as much as I can. I write a scene. I work with characters. Sometimes I struggle or time gets away from me, especially on days I have to drive to teach face-to-face classes. On those days, sometimes, I don't get words in.

Currently, I'm using structured sprints with a group of trusted friends to help me get words on the days when I can sit and focus. That helps. It's not the most ideal, but on those mornings when I'm not sure, it's good to have that extra structure. Each day is a new possibility. Asking for help and using help is okay. I had to learn that.

I'm one of those folks where structure is important. If left without structure, I'm going to go wander off and eat ice cream and wear the same clothes for days. I know this, so I create structures for myself.

I write in the mornings for 30 minutes to an hour if at all possible. If I'm not writing, I'm usually reading. I dress like I'm ready for the day even if I'm not going anywhere. That keeps me from loafing. I keep myself accountable in some way. I post about my writing on social media. I talk to my writer friends. I write even if I'm at a convention to stay on track.

Part of this is just my way of taking care of myself, but part of this is also because of the inner terror that if I don't, I'll lose my momentum and never get another chance at this thing I've started again. I'm deeply motivated by my inner terror.

What Works for Me Might Not Work for You

Another thing that scares me is when people say, "Maybe I should start doing what you're doing." Doing what I do does not mean you are going to end up with the same results I've had. What if you get up early every morning, post your numbers on social media every morning, and knock yourself out doing what I do, and then you end up not writing the same or not getting published or not getting the things you want? Did I sell you the wrong thing? I don't want anyone to think that "This is the way."

This is my way.

This is A way.

Every writer is on their own journey. Every artist is on their own journey. I have to remind myself of this when I get a twinge of wanting something another artist has or the wish that I was farther along in my journey. This is my journey. This is YOUR journey. Each one is different.

We can learn from each other, but there are no guarantees. Getting up early isn't the key. Getting in the chair and putting words on the page is. I have friends who write only on weekends. I have a friend who wrote a novel at the Dunkin' Donuts late at night while I was sleeping, and emailed me chapters that I read over breakfast.

Find your structure. Use that structure. Write.

What Am I Currently Doing?

I started my second Kate and Shadow novel in earnest about a month and a half ago. This one is not coming as fast as the first, primarily because I had two halves of a story before I even started that first novel. This is completely different, so I'm approaching it differently. My writing structure is different too.

This time, I'm juggling a different schedule where I have to be more mentally present at work. I'm also in a different environment at home. I'm writing with a lot more interruptions because I live with two people who have no idea about writing boundaries. I've also continued to fight migraines, which have gotten better in some ways, and worse in others (thank goodness for better meds) In spite of this, I was able to write more short stories over the last two and a half years than probably ever before. This means that a lot of these problems are me problems that I can overcome.

I'm continuing to create structures and work as much as I can. The system helps me fight the bits of executive dysfunction that I have (once again, this is something that is not officially diagnosed, but I know what I know about myself). They don't always help me win, but I do get stories out and writing on the page, and that is a good thing for me and for my readers.

My goals for this year are to complete the Kate and Shadow novel and to write a few shorts on the side (because whether I want to admit it or not, I LOVE writing short fiction). I'm also excited because I have a few stories coming out in anthologies soon, so more fun is ahead. Getting stories out there means more people get to experience my weird little worlds and weird characters.

Y'all have a great week!

#writing #structure #writingtime #writersjourney #shortfiction

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cellsshapedlikestars · 2 years

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It's been a while since I sent you a prompt so here you go (but also no pressure!!!): YouTubers Sansa and Jon meet when Robb does a big event thing (he is also an YouTuber) and they have such a great chemistry that their fans keep asking for a collab and those two can't deal because they liked each other but they also had messy public breakups and they are shy of trying again with another public figure (is that too specific? The gist of things is youtubers!au I'll love whatever you come up with ❤️)

Ummmmm hello.

I'd like to preface this by saying... I don't know, I've been in sort of a slump lately and realized everything I've been writing has been pretty depressing and bleak (and by that I mean stuff I've been writing but not posting). In general, I've been feeling very blah and so I decided to try and force myself to write something light and remembered this prompt existed!

I preface this because I'm not sure I'm super happy with the final product, but I've also been staring at it for a while and I'm just going to post it. So sorry if this isn't what you were looking for!

Also, I think this is the last prompt in my inbox (except for that one from an anon that I got back in December 2020 that's become a sort of security blanket for me and I don't think I'll ever do because I'll miss seeing it in my inbox).

“Is that the cooking guy Bran's obsessed with?”

Arya's words take a few moments to make their way into Sansa's brain. Between the noise and the lights and the mass of people around her, it's all she can do not to have a full panic attack.

Sansa loves people, she does, but there's a reason her job is mostly sitting alone in her living room talking to a camera. She's social to a point, and she'd left that point far behind about two hours into VidCon. It doesn't help that Harry is here, with his merry band of asshole vloggers. It took her much too long to realize how toxic that whole group was and she's forever grateful she never really participated in their videos. But between Harry being, you know, around, and the pressure of meeting fans and constantly being on, she's losing a bit of her sanity.

Luckily, she's got Arya and Jeyne with her – Jeyne as her manager and Arya as... well, Arya's just always been good at getting her out of her own head and bringing her back down to earth. Which is what she suspects her sister is doing now.

“Snow's Kitchen?” Jeyne joins in, and Sansa's grateful for something to focus on as they weave their way through the crowd.

She looks up to where Arya's pointing and... “that's Jon Snow?”

“Sure is,” Jeyne says, a sudden, gleeful smile on her face.

“How do you know? He never shows his face.” Sansa has seen Bran watch his videos and she's never seen Jon Snow's face before. She would've remembered. All she remembers from those videos is the camera pointed at a kitchen counter, and all she remembers of Jon Snow himself was a torso, hands, and a disembodied voice.

“Oh, he does sometimes,” Jeyne waves away as she and Arya seem to come to a silent decision and change course to the booth where Jon Snow is.

“Come on, Bran will kill us if we come back without an autograph,” Arya pulls on her arm. Sansa wants to be reluctant, but she ends up following the others without any real protest.

“Hi!” Jeyne enthuses when they make their way up to the booth. It takes a while – his isn't the most crowded, but his fans are clearly devoted. And, she notes, respectful. A sharp contrast to the fans that used to mob Harry, she can see the difference in an instant. Some of his fans seem to recognize her and move out of the way so she can get up to the front quicker, which makes her feel a bit guilty for cutting the line.

Jon Snow looks first at Jeyne, who'd spoken, but then his eyes move to Sansa and she feels... ok, she is not going to acknowledge the way her tummy flips. No way. She tries to focus on what Jeyne's saying.

“I watch all your kid's cooking videos,” Jeyne's saying, and that really brings Sansa back to reality. Jon Snow has a kid? He's probably married. Her stuttering heart and traitorous stomach can shut up.

“How old's yours?” a man asks, the one standing behind Jon that she assumes is his manager. He looks kind and gives Jeyne the sweetest smile.

“Oh, it's for my boyfriend, actually,” Jeyne explains. “Theon's the pickiest eater. I've found toddler food is the easiest way to make him eat vegetables.”

“Theon Greyjoy?” the man asks.

“Unfortunately,” Jeyne sighs. The man's eyes move to Sansa and widen a bit and she almost sighs internally. He obviously recognizes her. If he didn't know who she was already, Theon (and by default, Robb) probably clued him in. She's been in enough of their videos.

“I'm Sam, I'm Jon's manager,” the man introduces with a smile.

There's a lot of introductions and awkward shuffling as Sam brings them back behind the booth and Sansa tries very hard not to show how flustered she is when Jon shakes her hand. There's more talking (mostly Jeyne and Arya and Sam) and Sansa learns three things pretty quickly: Jon started a series on kid food because Sam's son is also a picky eater, Jon doesn't have kids himself, and there's no ring on his finger.

“Get a photo for Bran,” Arya says at one point, pushing Sansa in Jon's direction. “Our brother loves your videos.”

Jon doesn't seem to know what to do with the compliment and it's in that moment that Sansa realizes he's worse with real people than she is. Sansa can be social (she used to be more social, before Harry), but she gets the sense that Jon is a true introvert. It gives her a strange boost of confidence.

“Do you mind?” she asks, standing next to him and pulling out her phone.

“Course not,” he says and moves so he's in frame. She takes the photo and immediately sends it to Bran.

“We should head out,” Jeyne sighs. “You've got fans waiting and Sansa needs to be at her panel in fifteen.”

Some awkward goodbyes (or maybe that's just her projecting), and she tries not to think too hard about how nice Jon's smile is. She tries to shake him out of her head and focus, instead, on her talking points for the Women in Social Media panel she'd been invited to.

And she definitely ignores when Jeyne leans over and whispers, “he's much cuter in person, right?”

…

Sansa is unreasonably thankful to be home.

She loves her fans, she really does, but VidCon is always overwhelming. Now her life can get back to normal.

The first morning after she gets back, she rolls over in bed and checks her phone. At first, nothing seems off - the normal mentions and DMs and emails. It takes about five or so minutes to realize a lot of people are quote tweeting her and she clicks on the notifications to see... there, on her Twitter, is a short, looped video of her and Jon Snow. He's smiling at her and she's laughing at something he said and Sansa watches in horror as her video self reaches out and places a hand on his arm.

She quickly switches over to her messages and sends one to Jeyne.

What the hell?????

It was a cute moment! is Jeyne's near-immediate response, as if she was waiting for Sansa to text her.

Sansa groans and opens Twitter and clicks on Jon's name (that Jeyne had, conveniently, tagged in the post) and she sees that his most recent post is the selfie she took of them, with some caption about how great it was to meet her.

She calls Jeyne.

“Do you know what you've done,” she groans, flopping onto her back and staring up at the ceiling.

“I posted a cute video of you,” Jeyne says innocently.

“Have you seen the comments?”

“Oh, you know how the internet is,” Jeyne dismisses, and for a moment anger flares in Sansa's chest.

Jeyne isn't the one the internet is now shipping with Jon Snow, if the top comments she saw are any indication. Jeyne isn't the one who's very public relationship imploded in a very public way not six months ago. Jeyne might be dating a Youtuber, but she isn't a public figure herself and while Sansa knows she means well, she doesn't... she doesn't really know what it's like.

And this was a good move, Sansa knows, from a PR standpoint. That's Jeyne's job after all – she's her manager, she's there to help build Sansa's brand. Jon has nearly eight million subscribers, which isn't too far behind Sansa's ten-point-three.

“Jeyne,” she whines, closing her eyes tight against the suddenly too bright morning sun. “You know I'm not... associating with other creators right now.”

There's a moment where she hears Jeyne take a deep breath. “Not everyone is Harry,” Jeyne says, her voice losing the teasing quality it had started with.

The memories are suddenly there, hovering in the corners of her mind – that one girl releasing Harry's DMs to her. The floodgate opening, girl after girl coming forward with receipts. Proof that Harry had been cheating on her since the beginning. And she means girls, not women.They'd all been so young, it makes her sick. It's not like she's ancient at twenty three, but finding out her twenty seven year old boyfriend was DMing shirtless selfies to sixteen year olds made it even worse.

“I've never heard a single bad thing about Jon Snow,” Jeyne continues. “He's never been involved with any drama, no one has anything bad to say about him. He doesn't really do collabs with any other creators except maybe some chefs, so it doesn't seem like he's a clout chaser. Honestly, he's a PR dream. And if you were going to get back into collabs...”

“Jeyne...”

“Come on! Just because he's a Youtuber and hot as fuck doesn't mean he's a bad person. Just look at you! Don't judge a...” Jeyne seems to hesitate, search for words, “a... chef by his apron? Wait, no, don't judge a cookbook by it's cover, how did I miss that?”

“Oh my god,” Sansa groans. “If I agree to a collab, will you stop trying to come up with cooking idioms?”

“Yes,” Jeyne agrees, clearly pleased with herself.

Once she's hung up, she opens Twitter again and sees that she has a DM from Jon Snow himself.

Hey, I just found out Sam posted that photo without your knowledge. Apparently he and your manager decided all of this, but they should have asked you first. I can take it down if you want.

She stares at the message for too long before responding.

It's a good photo, it'd be a shame to delete it.

…

“The video title will be something like – Cooking Sansa Stark's Favorite Meal,” Sam tells them as he fiddles with the camera settings.

Sansa feels anxious, though she's been doing this for nearly four years now. She's perfectly fine in front of her own camera.

It's that Jon's audience is so different from hers, that's what's making her nervous. It definitely isn't Jon himself. She definitely doesn't notice how nice his arms are in his tight tee or how perfect his ass is in those jeans or even that stupid man bun that she should hate but absolutely doesn't.

“Here,” Jon hands her an apron and she busies herself tying it on and not watching Jon's hands as he ties his own. She absolutely doesn't wonder what his hands would feel like on her.

She is not getting involved with another creator ever again.

She made that promise to herself after Harry and she repeats it, over and over, in her head. It doesn't matter how attractive she finds Jon, it doesn't matter how nice he is.

“I still maintain it should be Cooking a Romantic Meal for Two,” Jeyne chimes in and Sansa feels her face heat and she can't bring herself to look at Jon.

It's not like they haven't acknowledged it – the way the internet has starting gossiping about them. And Jeyne and Sam have been very active in hinting about this collab and that's done nothing but fan the flames. Jon had pulled her aside when they got here to make sure she was ok with it all, which was... nice of him. She wishes he weren't nice, it would make her stupid crush on him easier to ignore.

“That's a little too pandering, even for you,” Sansa finally manages to say, which makes everyone laugh.

“So,” Jon says after they've done the video intro and he's explained to the audience what they're doing, “sushi is your favorite meal?”

“Well, I think my actual favorite meal is my mom's pot roast, but sushi is always my go-to when we're figuring out where to eat. And it's definitely not something I'd try making at home.”

The video goes well, she thinks. Jon gives her instructions and she follows them as best she can and she learns all sorts of things about him. He's from Winterfell, just like her, and he started this channel while he was in culinary school because all his friends kept asking him to cook for them, and he started making instructional videos out of spite. He has a dog (which he promises to let her meet once they're done the video, because Ghost isn't allowed in the area where they film, for food safety reasons). She also learns that he often donates his extra food to a local halfway home. Sam's the one to tell her this, and she watches the tips of Jon's ears turn red as he shrugs it off.

By the end of filming, she realizes that her small crush on Jon Snow has definitely evolved into full blown. And then, when she finally tries the finished product, she almost moans around the chopsticks and tells him that she loves him.

Luckily, she does neither of those things and saves herself the embarrassment.

…

This wasn't her plan, honestly.

She runs a fashion and lifestyle channel, it only makes sense that in her channel's collab video, they'd do something related. And Jon Snow is known for only ever wearing the same thing in his videos – black tee, jeans. That's it. Even in his public appearances and the few photos he's posted of himself on social media, its the same.

“Sometimes he puts on a flannel when it's cold,” Sam had amended with a laugh when Jon had grumbled about this observation, when it was decided that Sansa would buy him outfits in various styles and make him try them on for her video.

She swears she had started out with the most innocent of intentions.

She never intended to end up on top of Jon Snow in her bed while he's half dressed in khakis, the pink golf shirt he'd been wearing thrown somewhere on the floor behind her.

But, well, here she is.

“Sam and Jeyne are waiting,” Jon says, breathless and panting when they pull away for air.

“It's not my fault you look hot in soccer dad chic,” she grins, trailing her hand down his stomach to the waistband of the khakis. He laughs, head falling back against her mattress.

It's also not his fault that when she'd knocked on her bedroom door, where he was changing, and asked if everything was alright, she'd mistaken his response as a request for help and opened the door to find him shirtless.

(It might be her fault, though. She swears he asked her to come in, but now that she's taken a moment, that might have just been wishful thinking on her part. She's just glad he doesn't seem to mind that she'd barged in on him changing. Or that she practically threw herself at him.)

“I can't believe you actually got me to wear this,” he mutters.

“Just wait for beach vacation chic,” she teases. “Board shorts and a fun floral shirt...”

He groans, but there's still a smile on his face and she thinks he doesn't mind much at all. She's just about to lean down to kiss him again when Jeyne calls from the living room, “everything ok in there?”

“Guess that means we should get back to it,” Jon sighs, though his hands stay at her hips and he doesn't look like he really wants to get up. It's up to her to finally crawl off the bed and she pulls at his arm to make him sit up.

“Your next outfit's there,” she points at a stack of clothes. She's just about to leave when she turns and says, “maybe we shouldn't tell Jeyne or Sam about this? Until we figure out what...” She trails off, feeling suddenly shy, even though this is her apartment and they're in her bedroom and Jon had definitely seemed into that kiss. But Harry is still there, in the back of her mind.

“I'd like to take you out,” Jon keeps his voice low so no one but her can hear. “If that's alright?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, trying to tamp down the fluttering of her heart. “I'd like that.”

She leaves and closes the door behind her and takes a moment to lean against the wall of her hallway to try and process everything.

Getting involved with another creator is not something she ever intended, and maybe this will all be a huge disaster like Harry was but... but there's a part of her that thinks it won't be. There's a part of her that knows, somehow, that Jon is different.

She tries as hard as she can to wipe the stupid, besotted smile off her face before she walks back out to the living room, where Sam and Jeyne are waiting.

“Everything good?” Sam asks, eyebrow raised.

“Oh yeah, bit of a mix-up with the outfits, it's all sorted,” she says as breezily as she can.

“Good,” Jeyne nods. “Now, before we start filming again, why don't you fix your hair so the audience doesn't figure out you two mauled each other between takes?”

#jonsa #prompt fic

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wanderlustphatty · 3 years

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Boxers:: FWxFem!Reader

Summary: Fred and Lee opt for a night in with the reader, and choose some interesting attire.

Warnings: Implied steaminess, kisses. Mostly humorous.

Word count: 1584

Notes: I have no clue why I even did this. It started as a joke, but I could actually see this happening with Fred and Lee lol. I hope you all like it! Hopefully it gives you some serotonin.

Masterlist

"Fred, put your pants on!"

"No."

"Pants time!"

"No."

"Pants party!"

"NoOo."

A sigh escapes her lips as she stares at her husband gaming in his boxers and a t-shirt on the couch. Normally she wouldn't be this adamant, but Lee would be by soon and the three of them were supposed to go out to eat. After all, this whole plan was concocted by them and not her. So why not get dressed? It was normal for the stubborn twin to be fashionably late, but that never stopped her from trying to get him more organized.

"Lee will be here shortly, love. You need pants," she tried to reason with him. Instead she's met with a smirk and a quick glance. "He's seen me naked before you. Boxers won't bother him." To this she rolls her eyes and turns to walk back into the kitchen. Again, defeat. What would make him budge?

Before she can finish her thought, there's a knock at the door and her husband chimes in telling whoever was outside to come in. Luckily it was Lee and not some stranger. Mentally she makes a note to keep the door locked just in case.

He pauses at the door for a moment, acknowledging that his friend still wasn't fully clothed, and then casually asks "So uh, we still going out tonight, or staying in?" His eyes dart to her and back to the lanky ginger. Yet again Fred answers, this time with his nose curled up slightly. "I was hoping the missus would let us have a relaxing night at home."

She looks over at him, her gaze searing for a moment before being talked down to an exasperated agreement. "Fine," she says with the slight shake of her head and a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips. It wasn't like it was a date or anything, because he would never pass that up. "I'll order pizza, unless you two want something else." The both of them answer in near unison saying that's fine, and she turns to grab her phone.

By the time she turns back around, she catches Lee discarding his pants at the door, just like he did his shoes, and heading on into the living room. He and Fred both are laughing as he picks up the second controller and makes himself at home. Neither of the two paused to think that hanging out in their underwear might seem a bit odd. Is this what they did in Gryffindor tower?

Apparently her stares and the lack of talking on the phone made her husband look up. "Everything ok, babe?" Lee turns around to look at you as well, but they both seem fairly oblivious to the awkwardness of the scene. Finally she manages to ask "You two comfortable?" Confusion knits across their brows before it finally dawns on them and they both burst into laughter again. "You got a few husbands when you married me, love. Lee's one of them. If you hurry up and order the pizza, you can run upstairs and put some boxers on too. It'll be a boxers party then." He winks and crimson dusts her cheeks. Again, both guys laugh.

Instead of replying, she simply turns to walk back in the kitchen. She grew up with all the boys, so it wasn't uncommon to see a shirtless George, have Lee stay a few days, and watch Ron wear the same shirt for two days. For some reason though, this was the first time any of his friends had shucked down to their boxers in her presence. In a way she felt honored because of how comfortable Lee felt, but at the same time, underwear is pretty intimate.

With a sigh she shoves the awkwardness out of her mind and dials the number. Moments later she hangs up the phone, dinner on its way, and reluctantly walks up the steps to her shared bedroom. Fred's eyes watched her as she ascended to the next floor, a mischievous smile playing across his lips. Deep down he knew he could get her to do anything he wanted, including participating in a "boxers party", as he put it. Just as he watched her, she watched him as if to convey he owed her in some way for pushing her boundaries with his friends. As his smile spread and realization started to register within his brain, the controller in his hands vibrated, signaling a defeat of sorts. He quickly turns to Lee and both of them let out amused and defeated groans, but agreed to continue the game.

In her room she found a pair of boxers she had normally reserved for pajamas and slipped them on over her panties. She wasn't brave enough to wear them like the boys did, so the thin layer of fabric beneath them gave her a sense of protection and security. Her third husband by marriage had no business seeing any of her unmentionables if the underwear was less than conservative. As she gives herself another look in the mirror to make sure she looks good, she hears Lee cheer and Fred let out a loud, yet amused "NO", meaning Lee had won that round.

Deciding not to drag her feet anymore, she heads back down the steps, catching her husband's eye as she rounded the bottom step to go into the living room. Brown eyes analyzed her figure from toe to head and his eyebrows peaked. His lower lip pulls between his teeth, making her blush slightly. Even when she's wearing pajamas, he was able to make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Quickly she motions to the TV screen to remind him to focus, and just in time too - it was time for his character to jump. After successfully clearing that obstacle, he winks at her and nudges his head at the place next to him on the couch. Before she can make it there, though, the food arrives and she retrieves that before coming to take her place.

Both guys pause their game to eat and chitchat. Conversation was always easy with Lee, and there was never a dull moment when he was around either of the twins. No matter the situation, he was always happy to be there with his friends. Stuffy restaurants would never be either of their scenes, and she admits that part of her expected one of the guys to flake on going out. Truth be told, she was happy to be in comfortable clothes as well.

As she half listens to the conversation about the Chudley Cannons, her thoughts and her bite of pizza are interrupted by a long finger trailing up the side of her thigh. Her eyes dart up to Fred and she's greeted with a mischievous smile. The finger trails back down and she feels the breath hitch in her chest. He absolutely had plans to make up for staying in. Quickly she looks at the other couch to see Lee more focused on where he's going to bite next on his slice of pizza, thankfully. She turns back to Fred and smiles before mouthing "behave". A pout forms on his lips and his brows knit in fake sadness before he mouths back "where's the fun in that?" This man.

"Do you think Egypt'll actually make it to the Quidditch World Cup this year?" Lee's question interrupts their moment, but the clever ginger doesn't miss a beat. "Y'kidding me? It's going to come down to Romania and Argentina. Egypt has played alright so far, but they nearly lost it to Chad, of all teams." Immediately the two are engrossed in a discussion about various teams, but the long finger that traced her thigh was replaced by a hand that pulled one of her legs up to his lap. His hands gently work at the muscles in her calf and gradually start to make their way farther toward her center.

"What do you think, babe?" Her attention snaps up, meets her husband's, and she tries to speak, but her voice comes out hoarse and she has to clear it. His eyes seem to twinkle, knowing even that small gesture was enough to occupy her thoughts. "Excuse me. Sorry about that. I, uh, personally I'm thinking we'll see Transylvania and Scotland." Their gazes hold for a moment while Lee begins to explain why Scotland or Transylvania would be a better choice than Argentina. So it's not too obvious, though, the twin looks back at his friend and nods in agreement.

Their night consisted of video games, quidditch talk, and a brief moment of dating advice for their friend. As always, their hang out session was fun, and Fred politely tried to get his friend to stay the night because they had lost track of time and it was after midnight before he started preparing for his departure. He declined as he hopped to pull on his pants, giving the excuse of having to work in the morning, and left when he got his shoes on. No sooner than the redhead latched the door, though, she knew it was on.

Quickly he turns and gives her a delicious grin before picking her up. Instinctually she wraps her legs around his waist and giggles. Hungry lips trail kisses from her jaw down and he nearly growls in her ear. "I've been waiting to do this all night." Chills scatter her skin and he carries her upstairs.

Masterlist

#fred wealsey x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley x gryffindor!reader #fred weasley x hufflepuff!reader #fred weasley x reader #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley fluff #fred wealsey fic #lee jordan

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masterjedilenawrites · 3 years

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Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 4 (Blueberry Path)

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. Refer to this Masterlist for previous chapters and alternate paths.

Chapter 4: The Party (Blueberry Path)

Pairing: Thrawn x reader

Content: Light drinking, more pining

Length: 2.4k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The gala was as elaborate and ostentatious as you would expect of a formal event at the Imperial Naval Academy. It was like the whole ballroom shimmered as glasses of drinks were passed around and ornate dresses swished about in dance. You'd certainly never been a part of anything so grand from your home world before.

It was quite a sight, to be sure. But it still paled in comparison to the man who walked beside you.

You could feel the stares from the classmates and superiors around you as you moved deeper into the ballroom with your date. But you didn't let their open judgement get to you. You were proud to be on the arm of Mitth'raw'nuruodo. If anything, these pretentious Imperials should be envious of your connection to him.

You also tried not to let your own insecurities get to you. Occasionally you'd catch glimpses of yourself and Thrawn, reflecting off mirrors and windows. You'd thought you looked decent standing alone in front of your bedroom mirror. But next to him, you were so... plain.

"The music is quite pleasant," said Thrawn from beside you.

Part of the plan for the night was to substitute your targets for other subjects, so any potential eavesdroppers would be none the wiser to your true intentions. Anything related to music was to symbolize one half of the plan: Eva and Arden.

You saw the couple near the entrance, having just arrived a few minutes behind you. Eli was supposed to keep an eye on them, while you and Thrawn were tasked with Burdick. You internally shook yourself free of your complicated thoughts about the gala and your date, and instead turned your focus to the mission.

"Do you think Eli has noticed?"

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it." Thrawn nodded across the room, where Eli was standing next to his date. He held a drink and was making a show of casually looking around, but you could tell he was paying extra attention to the entrance.

"And how about that assignment?" you asked. Burdick would be referred to by discussions of homework, another innocent topic. "Have you found your thesis for it yet?"

"No, I'm still looking into it," Thrawn said calmly.

You looked up at him to see his steady red eyes were mostly blinking politely at the faces that passed directly in front of you. Every once in a while, ever so subtly, they would flick elsewhere. A gap in the crowd. A far corner of the room. You even caught him looking at a tray of champagne glasses hovering nearby, casting a perfectly angled reflection of the space behind him.

Gods, he was so good.

"Is there something you wish to say?" he suddenly asked, catching you off guard as his eyes made their way to your own.

"No..." You struggled to find balance, not wanting to seem too dismissive or too dishonest. "I was... uh, just... watching you... watch... the room...."

Thrawn's left eyebrow quirked ever so slightly. Almost imperceptible to the untrained eye, but you knew it was a sign that he was amused.

"It would be far more productive if you were to watch the room with me," he stated. His eyes traveled to somewhere behind you and for a moment you thought he had finally found Burdick. But upon turning, you saw it was only a tall cocktail table that had opened up. Thrawn placed a gentle hand on your lower back and guided you toward it.

"Here. Now we can discreetly observe both directions," he said just low enough that only you could hear. He moved to stand opposite the table from you, and while he was right, your positions now covered both halves of the ballroom, you were finding it difficult to focus on your side when Thrawn was also in your view.

"Drink?" he asked, swiping two champagne glasses from a passing tray and placing them on the table before you had a chance to answer. Considering he didn't touch his glass after that, only resumed his scanning of the crowd with hands folded neatly in front of him, you knew it was more for show than anything.

But your nerves were on fire, and so you gladly took up your glass and downed most of it in one go.

"I have decided on my thesis for the assignment," said Thrawn as you clanked the drink back onto the table. You held back a burp as you casually looked over your shoulder to where Thrawn seemed to be looking. Commander Burdick was hovering by an hors d'oeuvre table, a small plate piled high with food in one hand, scowling at every person that passed him.

"Just the one assignment?" You turned back before the commander could notice you staring. You could've sworn you'd overheard during your recon that Burdick had found his own date.

"My last-minute arrangement," said Thrawn quietly, breaking from the code you were supposed to be using. "It occurred to me the commander may end up distracted by his partner, rather than focusing attention on Arden. Thus, I've arranged for his date to be delayed in arriving, possibly even too late to make it altogether."

You nodded and finished off your champagne.

"You're not impressed."

You looked up at him to find his eyes were inspecting you, searching for something. Approval? Praise? Surely not, not from Thrawn.

"Would you like me to be?" you side-stepped the question, mostly out of surprise.

"I don't do these things for clout," he stated plainly. "But I do value your opinion."

You blinked at him a few times, unsure how to process those words. To say you could count on one hand the number of opinions Thrawn valued outside of his own was an overstatement, as there would only be one finger up for Eli. You'd never dreamed you could be included in that count, too.

Thankfully you were distracted from having to come up with a response by the change in music to something much more lively. Several pairs of people excitedly moved toward the dance floor, including Eli and his date, and Eva and Arden nearby. You angled your head to see around Thrawn's body and watched them.

"The music is... uh... going well." You cringed at your own inability to find a way to incorporate the code. Thrawn casually followed your gaze, only sparing the two couples a second of attention before turning back to give you an amused smirk.

"And now we must do our part. With the homework."

He came around the table with an arm extended and gave you a wink. An honest-to-god wink. You thought you were surely going to collapse on the floor, but managed to grab ahold of his arm in time, allowing him to lead you away from the table.

"Commander," Thrawn's ever-calm voice raised in volume to address the man you were approaching. The Commander in question looked up from his food plate and somehow managed to scowl even deeper as he recognized who was addressing him.

"Well, well. If it isn't my favorite student," Burdick said dryly. Though he was a full two feet shorter than the Chiss, he still had an air of looking down on him. "I'm surprised you'd even come to an event like this."

"The Academy has provided a generous occasion tonight," said Thrawn evenly. "It would have been in bad taste for us not to attend."

It was only when Thrawn referred to you collectively that Burdick took note of your presence.

"Commander," you said with a polite smile that he was definitely not deserving of. "It is quite an evening. Are you enjoying yourself?"

Burdick scoffed slightly, which you took as his attempt at a laugh. He turned back to Thrawn as he responded with a grumbled, "Thoroughly."

"And where is your date, Commander?" Thrawn asked, turning to you slightly. "What was her name? Eva?"

You met Thrawn's eyes, and though they perhaps didn't seem much different than usual, you thought you picked up enough in them to understand his game. You suppressed a mischievous smile as you played along.

"Thrawn," you pretended to scold in a low voice, slapping his arm and giving Burdick an apologetic look. You could already see a vein bulging along the man's temple at the mention of her name. "I'm so sorry, Commander.... Thrawn, I told you they're not together, not anymore."

"Ah," the Chiss nodded solemnly. "That explains why I saw her dancing with a fellow classmate of ours."

He turned to cast a look at the couple in question, and to allow enough of a view for Burdick to see them on the dance floor as well. Arden was moving rather intimately with Eva, and though they were a distance away, you could still see the boy's eyes glancing over at Eli and Sadie just a few steps beside them. Your friend was putting on quite a show with Sadie, undoubtedly making Arden feel the need to one-up him with his own partner. How clever.

"Who is that?" you feigned ignorance, squinting your eyes just a little dramatically.

"I believe his name is Arden Fey," said Thrawn. "He is in our flight class."

The two of you watched the couple for just a few seconds more before simultaneously turning back to Burdick. The man's face was as flushed with annoyance as you'd hoped.

"My apologies, Commander," said Thrawn. "I did not mean to be inconsiderate. However, on that note, I have spotted another one of our professors. We really must acknowledge them. Please excuse us."

Thrawn gave a courteous nod as he began leading you away. The Commander only remained rooted to the spot, glaring at his ex as she continued to move provocatively with her new beau.

There did end up being another professor that you spent some time greeting. You tapped your fingers restlessly against your thigh while Thrawn engaged in their small talk, all the while sneaking looks behind you to track Burdick as he continued to fixate on the dance floor. When Thrawn eventually wrapped up, you were practically bounding after him as you went toward the veranda in the back of the ballroom.

"Oh my god," you finally let yourself smile, wide and excited. There were only a few people outside, most briefly checking on the view before returning indoors, and one pair who'd clearly been fooling around in the shadows and hurried away with frustrated looks as you and Thrawn went up to the balcony.

"I can't believe we're pulling this off," you were still gushing.

"You speak as if you had doubts about this evening," said Thrawn. He leaned against the railing beside you, an amused glint in his eyes as he watched your face contort in all its excitement.

"Not doubts, just..." you shrugged, not sure why you were so surprised, honestly. It's not like this was the first, or even the most complex, scheme of Thrawn's you'd been a part of. Maybe it was that glass of champagne, or your nerves from earlier that day resurfacing. "I don't know, it just feels good when a plan comes together."

Thrawn hummed, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he looked away in thought. You let your gaze drift out, too, taking in the twinkling glow of the garden lights. There wasn't much impressive with that small patch of greenery in the daytime; most of the plants were imported and only minimally kept up by ungrateful horticulture students who just needed some extra credits for the year. But at night, there was enough shadow to pretend something interesting might be hiding out there. In fact, now that you thought of it....

"Oh, I heard they're bringing in some featherferns soon," you said, remembering you'd been meaning to tell him before all of this flight school drama came up. "One in the traditional violet, but the other is supposedly a pale yellow. Possibly a hybrid, or maybe sun damaged, they're going to have to study it to be sure. But they'll replace those awful garlic roses."

Whatever thoughts Thrawn had been consumed by were no longer important as he looked down on you with wide eyes. "I was not aware you were keeping tabs on the Academy's flora collection."

You threw him a little smile and a shrug. "Well, ever since someone taught me to appreciate it, I can't help but stay informed."

"I am glad," he said, turning to face you more fully. "And likewise, your enthusiasm for this evening also pleases me. Your good spirits are... infectious."

You gripped the balcony railing in order to steel yourself. Your eyes flitted about his face, once again unsure how to read it. Was he really smiling at you now, or was it your imagination playing tricks? A mere projection of the feelings you wished he had? You usually didn't mind the mystery that surrounded Thrawn; in fact, it was probably what drew you closer to him. If he chose not to show his thoughts and feelings, he did so for good reason, and you were free from the burden of having to interpret or address them.

But now it infuriated you. You needed to know what he was thinking. Where did his mind go every time you said something that caused him to look away? How strongly of a line had he drawn between your usual dynamic and the parts he was having you play tonight? Was he even conscious of the fact you were standing much closer than friends typically did in such a setting?

You shivered involuntarily. It was much cooler outside, but his gaze on you was also unnerving. The slight shake of your arms and the growing goosebumps on your skin did not escape his notice.

"You're cold," he stated.

Despite the truth of that statement, no sooner did he say it did your cheeks flush with warmth. Now you were wondering if he was going to offer you his jacket, picturing how warm it would be, how it would smell like him.

"We should return inside."

But obviously Thrawn's solution was much more practical. He moved away from the balcony and set his arm back in place for you to accept it. You cursed at yourself for letting your feelings get the best of you yet again today. Why were you doing this to yourself?

You took his arm and offered an easygoing comment to cover your silliness. "We should probably check on our assignment, anyway."

He nodded with what could've been another smile, but you were determined not to keep reading into it.

"Yes, we certainly should."

#star wars #thrawn x reader #thrawn #mitt'raw'nuruodo #eli vanto #choose your own adventure #friends #romance #friends to lovers

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sparrowvolk · 2 years

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(the image is just so you can all see that i do in fact have a reblog button in my inbox. anyway.)

@hollyfire asked:

Any good pet sim recommendations? I play wolvden and I was looking for some good secondaries to play while my wolves finish hunting :)

Honestly the answer to this depends a lot on what you like about Wolvden, whether you've tried other sites, etc, but I'll treat this as a sort of general rec post. I've attempted to use indents to make it less of a wall of text, but it still definitely is. Sorry about that!

To anyone kind of new to petsites, or who was out of the game for a while, the big three right now are Flight Rising, Dappervolk, and Wolvden (/Lioden). Each of these have very different approaches, so if you like one you may not necessarily like the others.

Flight Rising is a dragon breeding game. It is very polished and has a lot of interesting mechanics and depth without being too overcomplicated. It would probably be the one I'd recommend to anyone shocked to discover that Neopets spawned a whole genre while they weren't looking. It is a great sampler of a lot of the things petsites tend to do these days, and also it has dragons.

Dappervolk is an avatar site with pet collecting and heavy rpg elements. I phrase it in that way because while the pets exist and are fun to collect, the focus is very much on your character and their interactions. It is widely reknowned for having an adorable painterly artstyle and widely panned for not having enough content/having bugs at launch according mostly to people who have never played a petsite at launch. I think it's very good at what it does, but that may not be for everyone.

Wolvden is a wolf sim, the thing that the Lioden team made after running their lion sim for several years. I really think the distinction between simulation-heavy pet sites and collection-heavy pet sites is one worth making, and these are all the way on the sim end, to the point that the collection part can be kind of frustrating. The focus is on breeding, but also on successfully managing your pack/pride. I personally find the breeding system of WD/LD overcomplicated but it does make very pretty animals, and the realistic art style is unmatched. Both games are 16+.

Here's a few other sites that I have played and think are worth trying:

Tattered World is a pet and avatar site that is also more rpg focused. It's got crafting, cooking, and pets evolving like Pokemon. It also successfully made shopping mechanically interesting without being annoying. The biggest feature and biggest downside is that there's an overarching plot to the site - of the sort that progresses over time, not for each player, and I will never bother to actually read it all.

Goatlings is an avatar site that also lets you collect goats. It's all the way on the collector side of the spectrum, in that it's all about collecting items and goats and there's very little to actually do. You can customize your avatar, but only collect the different goat designs. It is very cute, but you may guess by how much I love mechanics that it's not really the site for me!

Warrenz is a rabbit sim, inspired by Watership Down. If that appeals to you, you'll probably like it! It's very in-progress and rough around the edges, but it has some unique mechanics that make it absolutely worth checking out if you like games on the sim end of the spectrum.

Furry Paws is that genre of pet site where you're actually a human person with perfectly normal animals as your pets, which I've never been into, but it did help me learn dog genetics and also apparently it is old enough to vote. If you want to breed and train perfectly normal and realistic animals, I don't really get you but Furry Paws definitely does that well.

Mweor is a fantasy cat breeding game and also a kind of wonderful time capsule of late aughts pet site vibes. I played it a bit several years ago, and will be making a new account for research purposes. I don't remember a lot of specifics, so I'll be sure to report back!

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the28thofseptemberr · 3 years

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helloooo!! i didn't do a fic rec last month because i was so busy with my exams and barely had time to read, so this month's post is going to comprise of mostly fics i've read in june but also some i've read in may.

thank you to all of the incredible writers, please go support them!! and remember to read all of the tags and possible warnings before reading the fic! here is the list of fics (mostly below the cut):

read

•° — led by your beating heart by @missandrogyny 29.4k | E | famous harry/non-famous louis

Nick leans over. "Oh," he says, his voice smug. "Who is that?"

Harry just blinks at his phone. "Um," he manages to stammer out.

"Who's that, Harry?" Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he's not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another 'um'. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn't be any help right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

"Oh," Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry's distress. "Looks like we've got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?"

Her number. So Nick thinks it's a girl. Well, Harry can't blame him: 'Lou' is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist's name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he's kind of, really, really not a girl. He's really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.)

note: this was so funny and cute and well written, and everyone was characterized so perfectly!! i adored the chemistry between louis and harry, this fic kept me smiling for the whole time while i was reading <3

•° — sounds like love to me by @neondiamond 14.6k | G | kid fic

“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

Louis watches as Harry’s face falls with the realization that this is one of those things he won’t be able to experience. For a second, Louis considers saying no, to show Harry they’re truly on the same boat through all of this. But he nods in the end, reaching over for Harry’s hand as the doctor flips a switch. Noise fills the room then, and it takes a few seconds for the sound to become clear enough for Louis to make out the baby’s fast heartbeat.

“It’s really fast,” he voices his thoughts out loud as he uses his thumb to tap against the back of Harry’s hand, replicating the rapid rhythm of the baby’s heartbeat. It takes the younger man a little while to figure out what Louis’ doing, but a huge grin breaks out on his face as soon as he does.

“Is that them?” He signs with the other hand, his own eyes starting to tear up when Louis nods.

OR: Harry is deaf, Louis is pregnant. They figure it out.

note: i'm not a fan of mpreg or kid fics in general, but i stumbled across the fic post for this on my dash and the summary sounded really intriguing to me, so i had a go at reading and it did not disappoint!! it was really sweet and fluffy but also so touching and heartbreaking in some parts. plus, i really enjoyed how harry and louis worked together and supported each other.

•° — this restless dream by @afirethatcannotdie 5.6k | NR | first meetings

“Hiii, I called earlier about the dogs?” he asks, taking a few steps closer to the desk where Louis is standing. He’s taller than Louis, with a dimple when he smiles and bright green eyes. There's a cute eagerness about his whole presence. “Do you have any puppies?” He’s a bit like a puppy himself, actually.

AU. Louis works at an animal shelter and Harry wants a puppy. Things don't go quite according to plan.

note: this was so so adorable and soft, especially since i have a soft spot for h&l with pets. i also have a soft spot for h&l being oblivious lovesick idiots and this was perfect!!

•° — all i see is you, lately by @runaway-train-works 2k | G | first meetings

Harry noticed him for the first time three months ago. He couldn’t not, really, what with the man being so pretty and all, and Harry remembers it well because it was three days before his birthday and he had joked to himself that seeing someone so gorgeous for three days on the trot must be an early present from the Gods.

The one where Harry has a crush on a fellow commuter.

note: this one was quite short but so sweet and perfect and lovely!!

•° — the things i'd do to wake up next to you by orphan_account 36.1k | M | amnesia fic

AU. Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

note: this fic was incredible, i'm always up for an amnesia fic and this one was heart-breaking and realistic but also sweet and fluffy as well :)

•° — this glorious mess by theweightofmywords 14.2k | M | post-breakup

His head lolls to the side, and his eyes float open to focus on what used to be his bedside table.

It’s empty now, devoid of the framed photo of the two of them. And Louis knows that he has no right to feel hurt, but somehow, this only confirms what this really is.

“This is the last time,” he cries, his voice breaking both from pleasure and pain.

“I know, baby,” Harry breathes, burying his face in Louis neck.

note: this is the third mpreg-centric fic i've read this month and... i don't even like mpreg?? but god the premise of this fic intrigued me so much, and it was lovely and emotional and beautifully written.

•° — BLAH BLAH BLAH there's a moment you know (you're f*cked) by @mercurial-madhouse 3.2k | M | spy au

Anyone impulsive enough to betray their country is either foolish or overly-confident. Louis’s too cunning for the former. So his inflated ego tips precariously close to the edge between pride and hubris. In sum: He may be an expert, (as proven by the .32-cal Beretta Alleycat Harry found strapped to his back) but ex-agent Louis Tomlinson will explode like a busted bullet misfiring in a broken gunbarrel if Harry can find his trigger.

___

Or, the spy AU in which Harry thinks he's prepared to meet Louis only to find he's not.

note: the banter and tension in this fic was so good and so fun!! i need moreee

•° — every lonely place by @ham-palpert 38k | E | time travel/alternate lives fic

Facing the fact that he’s been prioritizing his career over his relationship, Harry proposes to his longtime boyfriend Louis on a whim. But when yet another work emergency takes precedence over their plans, Louis decides he’s had enough. Harry goes to bed drunk and alone, and when he wakes, he finds himself in an entirely different world. Over and over again, Harry visits a lifetime he’s once lived, across time and dimensions. And wherever there’s a Harry Styles, there’s a Louis Tomlinson.

note: this was such a unique fic! and such an emotional one too, love the message it sends and the character arc and development was so good

•° — tick-tock by bubblegumclouds 6k | G | soulmate au

When Louis was born to Jay Tomlinson with a tiny 2 years on his clock, it starts the most beautiful love story. Even if things are missed, fate finds a way to make it work.

note: this was just so, so cute and fluffy and sweet! i loved it

•° — baby baby, you're a caramel macchiato by @missandrogyny 3.2k | T | coffee shop au

So, yeah, Harry doesn't think it's that far of a stretch to call himself a good barista. There are some particularly bad ones, and some particularly good ones, and, with his work ethic, his skill, and his charm, he'd probably be lumped in with the latter group.

note: this was so lovely, and i especially really loved the little section talking about louis' name and how it suits him!

re-read

•° — one shines brighter by @afirethatcannotdie 11.8k | T | wedding fic

“Hi, baby. You doing anything fun today?” Harry shrugs. “Dunno. Thought I’d see how I was feeling before making any plans.” “You wanna get married?” Louis asks. Harry’s face breaks into a smile, and he nods. Louis’ lips are just brushing Harry’s when Gemma appears in the hallway. “You two are in so much trouble.” Harry's wedding was never supposed to be the happiest day of his life. No, that was going to be the day after, when he finally got to start his marriage. Unfortunately his family (and Louis) have other ideas.

Featuring a pair of moms who only want the best for their kids, meddling sisters with too much time on their hands, and a groom who gets caught up in the fairytale.

note: i adore this fic!! it's so so so adorable and so soft and well written, and you can feel how in love h&l are with each other. so so good!

my own fics

•° — under your bed in new york 33.4k | T | exes to lovers

"We know you're still in love with Harry."

Louis' nostrils flared up. "I'm not—"

"Louis."

"I'm not!"

there are many things louis likes to tell himself. we broke up for a reason. it's been so many years. and of course, the classic: i’ve definitely moved on from him. but when he suddenly finds harry back in his life after three years, louis realizes he might be a little less moved on than he thought.

au; spilling coffee onto an ex, being set up on dates, and having a nosy puppy might be all louis needs to find love again

note: i didn't actually write or publish this one this month, but i did edit, revamp and make a fic post for it this month so i thought i'd put it in here anyway. reblog the fic post here!

#28th appreciation #tracksintheam #trackinghome #hl source #1d source #fic rec #my fic rec #2021 recs #fic list #june rec #june 2021 rec #*#sched

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