Do you ever think about what would have happened if Mary Hodges (formerly Mary Loquacious) hadn’t interrupted Crowley and Aziraphale’s “intimate moment”?
Because I do. I think about it a lot.
First off, the way that this shot is set up is perfect. Mary - Mary who had a key role in the whole “Antichrist shuffle” fiasco, and who is a walking reminder of the approaching apocalypse that will separate Aziraphale and Crowley - is literally coming between them. The show is full of these beautifully simple, yet easy-to-miss moments that only last a few frames.
Now, on its surface, this part of the scene mostly plays as humorous because Crowley and Aziraphale are sexless-by-default, non-human entities who just happen to come across to most humans as a very aesthetic queer couple. So naturally, Mary makes the same assumption as every other human that so much as glances in their direction, and isn’t that a laugh?
Except that…she’s not actually wrong about it being an intimate moment. Not just in the physical sense, although I think this is the closest we see them physically get in the whole first season (not counting being literally inside each other’s corporations, I suppose).
But it’s intimate in the emotional sense too, because Crowley is worried and stressed about having lost the Antichrist, and now on top of everything else he’s got Aziraphale calling him “nice” and poking at some very old wounds (if he’s so “nice” then why did he Fall?). And Crowley is also probably *frightened* - they’re inside a former Satanic convent that kept regular contact with not just Crowley himself, but also Hastur, and probably other demons too. For all Crowley knows, someone from his side could still be lurking about; they could overhear and get them both in big trouble.
And as if all that weren’t enough, I don’t think I’m imagining a healthy dose of frustration with Aziraphale in the mix either. Just a few minutes prior, the angel essentially tempted Crowley into miracling the paint stain out of his coat, and then broke their rules by saying “thank you” for it. Aziraphale has spent at least the last few centuries sending him some very mixed signals and we can see that Crowley is done with them dancing around each other. That game was more or less fine before, they had time, all the time in the world. But now, in just a few days, all the time in the world will be ENDING. And yet here’s Aziraphale, playing the same game as always, acting like nothing between them has changed, even though they both know better.
So yeah, it all comes to a head in that moment, and Crowley (sort of understandably) loses it a bit. He won’t actually hurt Aziraphale and they both know that, but he has to get across to the angel SOMEHOW that he’s experiencing some Big Feelings. And he doesn’t have a whole lot of options as to how to do that. He’s too worked up to communicate effectively. So he goes with the wall slam. This causes an emotionally charged situation which we’re primed to think will have an emotional payoff - the camera pulls in close, a dramatic transition, drawing us in to the tension of the moment right along with Crowley and Aziraphale.
And then there’s Aziraphale, who…doesn’t defend himself at all. Aziraphale, who is kind but far from defenseless, who used to guard the gate of Eden with a flaming sword, who was supposed to fight in a platoon of angels in the final battle. He’s no pushover, and yet he lets himself get literally pushed over. It doesn’t even seem to occur to him to stop Crowley, not even as he’s wrinkling his precious coat.
And maybe this is just my read of this scene, but Aziraphale’s reaction to Crowley coming into his personal space is interesting in and of itself. He doesn’t act as if this is the first instance of Crowley being that close to him - and it is CLOSE. Their lips are centimeters apart. Their noses are touching.
And one might well say that all of it happens so fast that Aziraphale is caught off guard and freezes up, but as so many have already pointed out about this scene, just after Mary interrupts he looks…blatantly longing, and then more than a bit put out.
And after Crowley lets him go, he casually fixes his clothes and goes straight back to bickering. Which may be partially a defense mechanism, because they don’t have time to talk about what just happened, there clearly won’t be any emotional resolution right now. But really, wouldn’t “you go too fast for me” Aziraphale be more rattled if that were truly the first time they had crossed that physical boundary and shared space like this? He looks affected, certainly, but quickly shakes it off.
And, to take it one step further: Aziraphale knows Crowley. He knows what words are likely to set him off. He has an established pattern of having Crowley do things for him, based on Aziraphale’s own prompting (see also: wordlessly asking Crowley to help Hamlet become a hit). Aziraphale does as much tempting to get Crowley to do “nice” things as Crowley does to get him to do “naughty” things. All of which is to say, Aziraphale may have actually been baiting Crowley here, but the bait is just a little too effective, and Aziraphale isn’t fully prepared for the intensity of the response he gets. But there’s a strong case to be made that by calling the demon “nice,” he’s looking to get a specific reaction out of Crowley. Again, not the healthiest form of communication, but it’s what they have in this context, because honesty would be too dangerous.
Which brings me back to my point: it IS an intimate moment, in more ways than Mary could have possibly realized, and what if she hadn’t walked in on them? How would Crowley have finished his sentence that got cut off, and how would Aziraphale have responded to it, to Crowley’s outburst of emotion, or to their proximity?
Maybe he would have gently and politely pushed Crowley away - but to me, something about his expression and body language says he wouldn’t have. Because Aziraphale is tired of dancing around this too, actually, and in the heat of the moment, he may just have closed the distance. Especially if they’ve had “intimate moments” before this one.
And between you and me, I think they did, and I think it was after Crowley saved Aziraphale and his books during the Blitz. It’s a solid explanation for the increased tension between them in the holy water scene.
Anyway. This meta has been sitting in my drafts since before the first trailer came out, S2 is only nine days away, and I’m clearly very normal about all of this.
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Little Loner
Pairing(s): Jace Wayland x fem!reader
Warnings: clary being jealous but then cupid??, I wrote this while sleep deprived, fluff at the end, Clary x Simon if you squint.
Words: 1,743
Author's Note: I finally finished the requests. Now have some drafts while I work on sequels and stuff <3
Masterlist | The Mortal Instruments Masterlist
Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read it, @simonsbluee, @thewarriorprincessxo, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @livlaughquinn, @bubsonnobx, @bunnyweasley23
Jace leads Clary to Hodge, but hesitates when he sees an open door. He finds himself pausing to admire the scene, leaning on the door frame with a crooked smile. Clary moves to get a better view and is confused.
A girl sits in a windowsill, her pencil hitting the paper lightly as she sketches out the scenery outside the window. The light appears to angle just right, giving her an almost angelic presence. Black runes cover her skin, some disappearing to hide under her clothes.
Clary leans over to Alec and whispers. "Who is that?"
Alec simply nods a little. "Y/N. Jace has a thing for her, but he's never acted on it." Clary feels her heart break a little. "Shame, really. She likes him too, but they're both too stubborn to be the one to confess."
"Oh..."
"My advice," Alec looks between her and the room, "stay away from Jace."
He moves on before she can ask much else, walking along the halls and calling to Jace quietly. Jace is brought back to reality as he gives one last look into the room before venturing on.
"So, Y/N..." Clary tries.
She doesn't miss when Jace blushes slightly, "another Shadowhunter. She's been here a long time, however she really only talks to me."
"Why's that?"
He chuckles a little but shakes his head. "That's none of my business to tell. She's a great person when you get to know her though." That's all the information he gives before they reach their destination. He opens the door and gestures inside with a nod.
His expression stays neutral, stoic as he explains, "You may find Hodge a little eccentric, but he's one of the greatest Shadowhunters that's ever lived." He looks down at the cloth in her hand and his brows furrow. "Here, give me that."
She walks inside of the giant room, her body and eyes exploring. The two boys walk in after her. They watch her carefully. Despite her distance, Clary can still hear Jace and Alec by the door.
"Don't lead this one on while you pursue your little loner. You'll get her hopes up, and if she decides to stay...the rune to fix a broken heart is the most painful one." She could practically feel Jace roll his eyes.
"I'm not leading her on."
"Oh? Is that so? Because I don't normally go around flirting and being handsy with random people, Jace." Alec warned. "It's obvious, the way Clary looks at you. I'd tone down your 'lack of leading her on' before she gets the wrong idea."
The doors shut suddenly, causing Clary to flinch, and Alec storms off down the hall, leaving Jace to think over his words. The more he thought about it, the more he tried to deny it.
Jace opens the door, "The Silent Brothers are ready for her."
When Clary and Jace set off for their next location, she noticed a new companion had replaced Alec. It was the girl from before. The girl that Jace liked.
"I didn't expect you to be joining us..." She tries to make conversation, but Y/N barely acknowledges her.
"I admire your attempt, but she won't talk. Not unless she's comfortable with you." Jace smiles at the girl in question, who smiles to herself but stays quiet.
"How long would that take?"
"Patience is a virtue, Clary." Jokes Jace. "I suppose I was the first person who ever really tried, so there's not much to go off of. She's coming with us because I asked her too."
The redheaded girl can't help but glance between the two every now and then. She isn't sure whether she feels jealous or wants them to be together, but she can say one thing for sure; The tension was nauseatingly strong.
"Why didn't Hodge come with us?"
"He hasn't left the institute in years." Jace shrugs as he continues walking. "Some say it's a spell."
"He's agoraphobic." Y/N giggles at Clary's bluntness, leading to the ginger giving her a small smile. One she returned. They stop and turn, Jace crossing his arms while he waits.
"Is that him?" Clary asks.
Jace follows her gaze and shakes his head. "No, that's Harold, the groundskeeper." He tilts his head, leaning in a bit, "that's him."
She looks up a little and feels a small shiver of unease crawl up her spine. A comforting hand is felt on her shoulder, and she's met with Y/N's smile when she turns her head. The action leaves her wondering how obvious her discomfort was, but she still is thankful.
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Clary looks to the two as though asking for help, but nods regardless. "We will help you to remember."
The trio follow the tall robed man, Clary a little more hesitant. Y/N turns, kind smile still standing, and lifts a finger to the middle of her lips. Clary nods and follows behind.
Along the way she trips, "Ow!"
Jace turns his head instantly, shushing her. "You'll wake the dead."
Clary rolls her eyes. She catches Y/N giving her an apologetic shrug, the girl nodding with her head to continue.
"I can't believe this place is just outside of the city..."
She follows the duo to the window like ledge they looked through. Jace's voice catches her off guard, "Welcome to the City of Bones." His breath is right next to her ear, sending her hairs to stand on their ends.
"This is where the Silent Brothers draw their power, from the bones and ashes of Shadowhunters."
"All of them are buried here?"
"Yes." Jace looks to the wall, "One day," he taps a skull, making Y/N giggle, the sound eliciting a smile to slide upon his pink lips, "that's gonna be me."
Clary stops to look at the skeleton. Sensing her unease, Y/N urges her forward with a light touch. Clary stops a few steps forward, inspecting the room from entryway.
"This is as far as we go." She looks at Jace, and he assures her, "You'll be fine."
"So you've done this before?"
Y/N and Jace exchange a glance. She dawns an apologetic look as shakes her head and Jace replies, "No."
Clary decides to continue to try and talk to Y/N, "Have you ever met Magnus Bane?"
The girl only shakes her head.
"You know... I'm quite jealous of you." Clary admits with a laugh. Y/N tilts her head in confusion, prompting Clary to continue. "I thought Jace was into me, and if I'm being honest, I'm really into him but... I'd be stupid to stand in your guys' way."
Her brows furrow, even more confused than before. Clary's hopes range from high to doubtful, there's a chance Alec was wrong, that she didn't have feelings for him, but she saw the way the two looked at each other. She might've been naïve and clouded in her conflicting feelings, but she wasn't blind.
"Jace likes you too. And honestly...you should go for it." She looks away, ashamed of her own assistance in helping the guy she liked be with someone else. However, she doesn't have time to mope, when a voice she hasn't heard before causes her to snap her eyes back to Y/N's face.
"Is it that obvious?" A shy expression, laced with a little embarrassment, greets her.
"You-"
"I talk, yes." She chuckles. "Jace wasn't lying. I mostly talk to him, but after I realized my feelings for him, I started to confide in Alec. My only problem was that I didn't realize Alec also had feelings for Jace... But, Alec saw how much I love Jace, and told me that he had found interest in someone else. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but, my feelings for Jace have always been around since then. I'm just...not too sure what to do about it."
Clary nods understandingly, and places her hand atop Y/N's. "Talk to him."
Y/N thinks about it for moment, and then nods. "Thank you."
"Hey. Can we talk?" Jace turns, nodding when he realizes it's Y/N. The blond looks around the infirmary, making sure Simon and Clary are accounted for one more time before he returns to facing her. He follows her to the study, sitting beside her on the piano seat.
"What's wrong?"
Her fingers press into the keys, a slow recollection of a piece by Bach. "It's nothing... I spoke to Clary-'
"You talked to Clary?" Y/N giggles at his dumbfounded expression. "M'sorry, that just caught me a little off-guard, you don't normally talk to anyone else."
"That's fair. Basically, she gave me some advice to a problem I have, not that I asked her for it- she actually noticed it- anyways, after Simon and the vampires and everything- I guess- my point is, Jace..."
"Yes?" His eyes were laced with concern, no longer amused by her sudden socializing.
"I like you. Like, really really like like you." She bit her lip. "Like...I'm in love with you."
Y/N stared at Jace, waiting for his answer. She grew nervous as time started to feel slower. The seconds felt like they were snail's paced, so close yet so far away. Sweat dripped down her forehead and her heartbeat rang in her ears. It was all so overwhelming until-
"I'm in love with you too."
"You what?"
Jace smiled shyly. "I'm in love with you too. I've been for a long time now." His eyes trace over her lips, the distance between them closing gradually. He hovers above her lips when his eyes meet hers again.
It's all in slow motion and superspeed at the same time. She lets go of control and lets her instincts take the reigns. Her lips crash into his and he lets out a surprised groan. Their eyes both close as they kiss one another, their lips partaking in a dance they somehow know. By the time they pull apart, they're out of breath and their eyes are blown.
"How long?"
She blinks. "Pardon?"
"How long have you been waiting to do that?"
"If I'm being honest, a month or so after we met. What about you?" Y/N giggles.
"Since we first met."
Clary leans against the door, heart half broken and half full, yet content with herself. Maybe she should look into what Simon's benefits are.
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Hello! I do hope this doesn't come off too presumptuous, but looking through your blog, you seem like the kind of chap who'd be able to answer my question better than the hodge-podge Google's been throwing at me
I was raised by Messianic "Jewish" parents (not Jews, just Christians stealing your traditions and holidays, but I'm sure you're familiar), and now that I've left Whatever That Faith was, it's become more and more obvious to me how much my parents basically just forced Christian Doctrine onto Jewish tradition.
Anyway, when I was a kid, I was taught that the reason people fasted on Yom Kippur was so that in denying our bodies of sustenance, we would learn to more fully rely on God, with an added bonus of: we're supposed to be too guilty for our sins to eat on Yom Kippur. To me that feels very Christian, specifically extremely Baptist.
So my question for you would be: Is that actually why Jewish people fast on Yom Kippur? Or is there a different reason?
First off, I applaud you for recognizing the problematic environment you were raised in and doing the work to educate yourself. That takes a lot of courage and strength and I'm proud of you.
You may notice that in Judaism, we rarely agree on anything, so I'll talk about three reasons.
One of the main reasons I was taught for fasting on Yom Kippur was to remove any distractions so that we can focus purely on reflecting on the past year and working towards bettering the new year and ourselves. If it was about suffering, then people who medically or psychologically cannot fast would be commanded to fast anyway, when in reality it is forbidden to fast if you physically cannot. In fact, we are commanded to eat a lot the day before Yom Kippur so that we don't suffer while fasting. Yom Kippur has a lot of additional prayers, and so we really end up spending most of the day and night before in synagogue, and don't really have time to eat, anyway. Essentially, we're supposed to "hyperfocus" in a sense on our spiritual reflections of that the day.
Fasting isn't the only commandment of Yom Kippur- we are also commanded to refrain from excessive annointing or bathing (in modern applications- don't shower, don't use skin creams if you don't have to, don't have a foot bath, etc), sexual intercourse, wearing leather shoes, and more also don't wear jewelry. This is in line with the commandment to "afflict" one's soul on Yom Kippur, which actually isn't the same as the Christian idea of affliction- we're not supposed to be in pain or suffering, but rather just depriving ourselves temporarily of certain pleasures or desires so that we can focus on a more spiritual mindset that is unique to Yom Kippur.
There is another interpretation of why we fast which is so that we become more akin to angels. Angels are entirely spiritual beings whose entire purpose is service of G-d, and many interpret the different rituals of Yom Kippur as attempting to emulate angels. We pray a lot of Yom Kippur prayers standing (if we're able to) with our feet and ankles together to mimic the appearence of angels, who do not have legs or any lower-body but rather "stand" as a column. We do not eat or have sexual intercourse or bathe or anoint because angels do not need to and are even unable to engage in such actions. We wear white to appear like angels. And because angels don't have free will and are therefore incapable of sin, they have nothing to be forgiven for, and therefore in this way we may encourage G-d to see us as angels and see us as blameless.
Some more reading:
Why Fast on Yom Kippur?
Yom Kippur Customs and Rituals
Yom Kippur Fasting
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