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jokerislandgirl32 · 3 months

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When Violet Gets Angry Don’t Get In Her Way…

As I discussed in this post, Violet was in a toxic/abusive relationship prior to her relationship with Zach. Below I’m posting a scene from my Wild Violets AU that details the aftermath of Violet’s breakup with her ex. It’s dark stuff, so here we go…Please read the tags/following trigger warnings before proceeding further.

TW: Abusive Relationship mention/description, TW arson attempt, TW unintentional/attempted self harm, TW cursing (only mild 2 words), TW bruises mention, TW implied abuse. Please do not read if any of this makes you uncomfortable!

“I'll set fire to the whole place I don't even care about our house It's not the same in here since he left anyways…”

“Burn it down, burn it down, burn it down, burn it down…”

“Always said I was a good kid Always said I had a way with words Never knew I could be speechless Don't know how I'll ever break this curse…”

Burn It Down

Zach’s POV:

I watched as Violet, in a fit of rage, stormed through her childhood home, she grasped a set of keys that once belonged to her father in her shaking hands. She tore into a closet adjacent to the kitchen, and unlocked a cabinet within, pulling out a box of matches. Her clothing was torn, her hair was disheveled, her face was streaked with tears and was red from crying, and there were bruises blooming on her tanned skin.

I knew who had done it, but I didn’t know the extent of what had happened. The Zachbots and I arrived only a half hour before to a horrible scene, I shuddered at the thought…and people called me a villain. We’d taken care of the situation, but the damage had already been done and Violet wasn’t speaking to me about any of it.

A few of the Zachbots and I trailed along behind her. She threw open the back door of the cottage and headed to a small shed in the backyard, she pulled out the key ring again and flipped through the keys, muttering to herself under her breath, she started crying again and dropped the keys to the ground, screaming out as she did so, “why did he do this to me? How could he do this to me? Why does he keep doing this to me?”

She grabbed the keys with her shaky hands, shuffling them to find the one she wanted. I reached out and touched her shoulder, but she jerked it away from me, “What did he do?” I asked her, but she ignored me, sobbing and muttering to herself, clearly absorbed in her own thoughts.

Violet found the key she wanted and stood up, going to the door of the shed and unlocking it. She dove into the musty cobweb filled space with little to no care about what varmints might be lurking within, and she came out holding a gasoline can.

My anxiety immediately spiked, no, she wasn’t….she couldn’t…She locked the shed and tucked the keys into her dress pocket, heading back to the house with the gasoline can in one hand and matches in the other, a look of pure rage on her face, mingled with fear and despair.

Violet opened the gas can and began pouring it on the deck to the cottage and throwing it against the back door and walls, she threw the can down haphazardly and shakily took out a match and tried to light it…she was going to do it, shit…she was sobbing uncontrollably. I knew she wasn’t thinking rationally, and I knew she was going to get herself hurt or worse if I didn’t stop her.

“VIOLET! NOOOO!” I screamed out, causing her to turn her attention to me long enough for me to order one of the Zachbots to grab her and another to secure the matches and throw them into the nearby water.

“VIOLET! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?! YOU COULD’VE HURT YOURSELF OR…OR…OR WORSE!” I yelled at her, pulling her away from the Zachbot’s arms and into mine instead.

“I just wanted to forget what he did…I wasn’t trying to hurt myself!” She sobbed, burying her face against my sweater and wrapping her arms tightly around me.

I wrapped my arm around her and steered her toward the nearby dock. Violet untangled herself from me long enough to lock her arms around my waist in a side hug. I wasn’t too excited to be sitting on the filthy boards, but I feared if Violet stood any longer she’d pass out from exhaustion due to her hysterical crying.

I called the Zachbots over to me and told them to properly clean up the gasoline, a chore they were well used to since they were programmed to clean messes of all types.

Violet had yet to raise her head from my chest, but her sniffles were becoming quieter. I sighed and lowered my head until my face was pressed against her hair. I involuntarily kissed the top of her head.

Violet tilted her head up to me and looked at me with her large blue violet eyes, as if she was caught off guard by the kiss. She turned her head and looked to the water before us, the sun was setting and had painted the sky a dramatic display of oranges, pinks, and reds.

I took her moment of distraction to yet again ask her the question that was tearing me up inside , “what did he do, Vi?”

Violet breathed out slowly, and turned back to me with a trembling lip, she glanced back at her childhood home, then refocused her attention on me, “Enough to make me wanna burn this place to the ground…just so it’ll be gone, because every time I see this house…I remember it all…”

I repeated my question more firmly, pushing her messy hair out of her face, “What did he do?”

Violet shook her head, and started crying again, “I can’t tell you…not yet…”

And this is the springboard for them getting their matching tattoos….

Selfship Taglist: @snailchans-imaginarium @crunch-crunch-eat-a-bunch @changingcore @bitchywitchheart @stoatsapphic @3qu1us-main @kittycatkissez @benreillyswife @creativegenius22 @genderqueer-bithing @serenitytodd1234 @mailiow @celestetheseaunicorn @barnesncavill @mayixxxmoon @gui-mauves @evander2511 @bat-anon

Please let me know if you want to be added/removed! Details in pinned post!

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max-jagerman-asks · 4 months

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["Well, he didn't accept, so. Time for consequences~"]

[They grinned, their spirit appearing next to what was so dutifully called a literal monster. They swerved around him, laughing as they forced themselves into his body, the cold spreading along his limbs. Their mind trying to take hold of him.]

[They are trying to possess him]

[@unknowns-understanding]

[Max stumbles back, he claws at his own chest. Something in him howls in protest. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurts. He’s too cold, he’s never been cold like this. He hasn’t really felt cold sense his first change happened. He tried to rip the ghost out.]

#hatchetfield rp #hatchetblr #max jägerman ask blog #ask max #possession #tw implied sh #kinda? like he’s trying to get a ghost out of him and in the process hurts himself.#unintentional self harm

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ninjastormhawkkat · 2 years

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Divorced Amazing Cheese: Braingirl au

This idea was inspired by the posts going back and forth with @drtwobrainsstuff about their divorced amazing cheese/dadbrains au idea, plus discussing hero Steven and the braingirl au on discord with @melodythebunny. I have decide to combine these thoughts and ideas with the Braingirl au, and make them worse😈. Note: this is one of the darkest and most angst filled au’s I have developed. It is not for the faint of heart. Trigger Warnings: Seriously a lot of heavy stuff is mentioned so read at your own risk! I am not kidding.

So the hero Steven melody and I discussed falls in the braingirl au where Becky gets fused with Squeaky, but the accident also causes Steven to inherit some of Becky’s powers. So now he has to take on the hero mantle and protect the city while also having to deal with his now cheese-obsessed villain daughter. So hero Steven is sort of Batman dark in the braingirl/mousegirl au’s that I pictured. He doesn’t care about being in the superhero spotlight. He feels that he doesn’t deserve all the praise and ‘keys to the city’ and stuff like that since he cause Fair City to loose their original hero in the first place. He only takes the mantle of hero so this city won’t fall into utter chaos. He is a lot harsher with the villains in the beginning, it is especially bad when some of the villains asks where Wordgirl is. Steven’s death glare makes them shut up about it. Steven is not friendly with them because he views them as criminal scum who deserve to be locked up and punished for their crimes like that parasite that is currently attached to his innocent child’s brain. He does ease up a bit after incidents such as the Miss Power arc, but even then he still remain cold and aloof with them. Only a few people in Fair City are privilege to Steven’s old personality. He is still caring and loving towards Becky despite everything. Becky may be fused with the mouse brain but she does not want to leave her dad because of mice preferring to live in packs mentality. She does not know her dad is the new hero or that bob is huggy since she has forgotten her old identity as wordgirl. She does know she is a super-powered alien being. Steven’s personality has definitely changes from canon, despite a few people, Steven is now a cold, melancholy, and serious person. He is very protective of his child and is prone to outbursts of anger if someone wants to talk about Becky’s new mysterious mouse behaviors or talk very badly about the villain braingirl or dare even question about wordgirl’s disappearance in front of him. Steven at this point has allowed the guilt and regret from the accident to consume him as well as the rage and self hate towards himself. He closes himself off from others who in a concerning and caring manner want to help him as he believes that helping his child is his own burden to bare. Steven has sacrificed sleep and sometimes eating in order to complete his research into saving Becky from Squeaky.

Now this is where Amazo Guy comes in. So braingirl has been doing her villain gimmick for a while now, soon she ends up stealing some really fancy cheese from this billionaire guy who has a lot of security. Her and Steven get into their usual hero vs villain battles which are tame compared to other villains because of you know reasons that only Steven knows. Well one poor security guard who is trying hard to prevent Braingirl from stealing his boss’s prize cheese tries to help Steven and ends up grabbing and yanking hard on braingirl’s mouse tail in order to try and keep her from fleeing the scene with the stolen goods. Now one thing for all animal loves to know, you NEVER yank the tail of any animal while their back is turned and their guard may or may not be up. Braingirl on instinct retaliates and accidentally slashes the guard’s throat just so he would release her tail. If this were just an attack by a regular person or a small animal, then the man would have been fine, but this attack was done by a super-powered alien child who is fused and influenced by a vicious mouse brain. He became deceased on the scene immediately and too quickly for anyone to help him in time. Becky is stunned in horrified by her actions but Squeaky compels her on mouse instincts to flee the scene. Steven and Huggy, also stunned by what happened, just let Braingirl get away. Steven flies home and finds Becky curled up under her bed covers with a shocked and horrific expression on her face. She comes out of the shock and just looks helplessly at her dad and silently whispers with tears beginning to come out of her eyes, “I think I did something very bad today dad?” Becky gets emotionally distressed very quickly and has a hard time explaining what happened but a few clear details come out. Steven just grabs Becky into the tightest, most comforting hug he can muster without using his powers and just quietly soothes her while she is a sobbing and hiccuping mess. He repeats over to her, “I know you didn’t mean to do it, I am not angry with you, We’ll try to figure this situation out, I still love you.” Steven tries his best to consolidate his guilt ridden, mouse-brained child, while also dealing with his own emotions over the event.

(Note: Steven does not condone what Becky did or tries to make excuses for it, Braingirl did kill someone while committing a different crime. He does realize that Becky was not in the right state of mind when doing this and had not intentions of even killing the guy. She acted on impulse and in a brief moment forgot how strong she really was and was just trying to get the guy to stop pulling her tail. All Steven is doing right now is trying his best to get her through this trauma and not let her fall into guilt-consuming state of mind similar to the one he deals with after the accident.)

Things get worse with the citizens of Fair City. This event sparks up a debate on whether let Wordman (hero Steven) continue to deal with Braingirl or permanently incarcerate her because she has shown to be a dangerous threat to citizens lives as well. Some believe that she needs to be taken out permanently because of how dangerous she is despite being a child. The government decides to call the hero league located in Global City because Braingirl is too powerful for them. The league sends Amazo Guy who was a colleague and very close friend of Steven to deal with the situation.

Now at this point, the people of Fair City don’t realize that Braingirl was once Wordgirl and the way the information in Fair City is distributed, the heroes in Global City don’t realize that Wordgirl is missing and replaced by Wordman.

The relationship between Steven and Amazo Guy was like with the divorced amazing cheese I discussed with drtwobrainsstuff a while back with my miss crimes au. They had feelings for each other, very strong ones, but did not develop them into a dating relationship, it was more flirting with each other while still being oblivious if they other likes them the same way back. Steven is surprised yet panicked when he sees Amazo Guy come to Fair City. Amazo Guy explains to Steven why he is here and Steven gets more scared and worried about Becky who is right now kind of hiding out at her house for a while why the henchmen, Bob, and her dad give her cheese to satisfy Squeaky. Steven tries to deter Amazo Guy and say that what happened was really bad, but they have Wordman dealing with it. Unfortunately Amazo is staying resolute and says that he believes Braingirl is a threat to everyone and she needs to be taken care of. Amazo Guy hopes he only has to put her in a confined jail cell permanently until matters can be resolved and not be forced to take drastic measures. (Sad truth established in most universes with heroes and villains; Heroes can’t save everyone.) Amazo Guy has to leave and flies away to begin his immediate search for Braingirl because people are scared and it is the job of the hero to protect the civilians. Steven angry that Amazo is not listening to him and now more than every terrified for Becky’s safety, rushes and puts more focus on finding a way to deal with Squeaky and try to resolve things. Unfortunately Wordman and Amazo Guy are about to be put into another confrontation.

Becky is again forced by Squeaky to steal cheese so she sneaks out of the house quickly and quietly to get cheese from the grocery store. Someone unfortunately spots her and screams, both Steven and Amazo Guy hear the scream. Braingirl tries to escape quickly back home but is soon caught by Amazo Guy who tries to arrest her. Due to the cheese being removed from him and being a hungry little jerk, Squeaky makes Braingirl more feral in her attacks on Amazo Guy ex. biting and scratching. Amazo Guy starts to fearfully believe he may have to permanently take down Braingirl and Becky does get bruised up and injured a bit from the fight. Wordman and Huggy intervene to try and save Becky. In the struggle Steven’s mask comes off and it is revealed to Amazo and Becky that Steven is Wordman. Amazo is confused as to what is happening and Steven gives the truth in a sad and melancholy voice. Amazo Guy gets angry at Steven that he would risk endangering his own child like this. This pisses Steven off and he yells back at Amazo that he has no right to judge him like this, he doesn’t realize all the guilt and self anger Steven had to deal with, how he spent countless, sleepless nights trying to save his child from his own messes, how he hates the way he became a hero because of his mistakes. He also yells at Amazo Guy angrily and tells him off for trying to harm his child and treating her like a threat instead of trying to help her which what Steven was trying to get Amazo to do earlier. Amazo tries to calm the situation down and does apologize, but reiterates that she needs to be contained in a secure location until a cure can be found for the safety of herself and others. Steven nor Huggy likes the idea of Becky being imprisoned like a lab animal for a long time, even if it is for her own good.

Becky, who is recovering from shock that her dad is Wordman, tries to fly away to escape Amazo Guy and go back home where it is safe for now. Amazo tries to stop her again, but he is greeted with a punch in the face by Steven. Steven goes into “If you want her, you have to go through me mode” which leads into an Avengers: Civil War and Batman vs. Superman type conflict. Huggy goes after Becky to keep her safe and does not want to be apart of that emotional filled battle between two former people who were in love with one another. Now it is a battle between a hero trying to uphold heroic mortals and debating on whether to listen to his heart or his head vs a father trying to protect his child who is already an emotional mess and dealing with the heartbreak and anger over fighting against someone he once loved dearly who dared to harm his child. Just like the Batman vs. Superman movie, someone does die. I won’t say who.😈

@melodythebunny @drtwobrainsstuff

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knifegremliin · 2 years

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finally finished up these Jasper sketches. This Man Has Anxiety™

#digital art #sketch #oc art #demon oc #demon #snake demon #self harm tw #it's unintentional/accidental but gonna tag anyway #he's just anxious and it's kinda hard to not accidentally hurt yourself when you have claws #🔪.art #🔪.ocs #oc: jasper #oc: mars

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corruptedsilence · 1 year

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@bigveee - idk how many issues you have had, but when it comes to things with ME plz dont think they were ever anything serious. Ya never were out of line or said anything offensive to me. Cleared things up very easily and you handled it all very well.

That’s the thing though Finn, I didn’t handle it well. I broke down and had a meltdown over worrying and letting my anxiety suffocate me and choke me out. I didn’t approach you until I literally had panicked for a while because I was terrified of situations repeating themselves even though as you said I shouldn’t worry with you, you haven’t given me a reason to, and earlier i was just terrified that if I say anything about my anxiety with anyone else they’ll take it as me assuming the worst about people which sadly is true.

I’m not feeling emotions like fear, it’s just anxiety. I’ve experienced it when i first started my last medication that I could *feel* my emotions and actually describe them as spesific things, but lately at the end of taking my last medicine (which was a second reason i stopped taking it) and right now I feel my emotions aren’t spesific, they’re just basic-- fear, anxiety. If I’m happy I’m happy but im nothing else and I’ve felt what it’s like to not be like that, I know it’s possible but now it feels hollow. It feels heavy. The emotions i had are no longer just emotions but they’re weights pushing me higher or plummeting me.

i dont know how else to describe it?? but i know what im feeling now isnt right, it doesnt have to be that way either but i dont know if i can outside of medicine access this and it’s why i need to talk with my therapist and why im sorry because i need to do better to actually realize this. It took breaking down talking with my GF (neeko) about a situation i cant speak about (this happened literally tonight) but makes me so enraged despite the fact i shouldnt be, what triggered it shouldn’t be a problem and i realize that but I couldn’t stop myself and I honestly was, and am, scared.

I haven’t spoken about it but these emotions, terrify me. It felt too similar to the (unintentional) suicidal action (i took 8x the amount of an over the counter sleeping pills i should have in a 24hr period) I had done earlier this month? (october or september i cant remember), i wasn’t in control, i wasn’t in my body, i was just this one single emotion, not a person not a human just this one feeling, and im really scared what’s going on. which is why I want to say im sorry for not realizing it sooner, and im sorry for damage or if I had hurt you and i realize i need a lot more help than i first realized. i thought i was doing okay, but i wasn’t and its hard to accept that

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painofhumanity · 3 months

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[ STEADY ]: the sender rests a hand on the shaken and panicked receiver’s shoulder to steady and ground them. ( aedus / felicity )

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. ( A PROMPT LIST! )

Felicity hadn't realized that she was shaking or breathing heavily until she felt the warm hand on her shoulder. She'd been staring blankly ahead, but now turned wide, panicked eyes to look at her lover. "I-I'm- I'm--" Felicity kept trying, but she couldn't seem to take a full breath. She wrapped her arms around herself but was unaware of how she dug her claws into her skin hard enough to draw blood. The pain felt distant, though, like it was somehow already a memory. "Tell me where we are," Felicity said breathlessly. "Remind me where-- Please." She just needed him to remind her where she was (and more importantly, where she wasn't). She knew he didn't need an explanation, but she would give him one regardless once she didn't have the feeling of primal panic clawing through her chest.

#{🌙} felicity vanderwald ; asks #rubiesintherough #panic attack tw #self harm tw #(unintentional but still)

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buglersholiday · 1 year

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Fanart for Chapter 21 of All was Golden by Foodsies

#Fanart #tw: blood tw: unintentional self-harm

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aftermath-askblog · 8 months

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So uuhhhhh you good Pama?

#mcsm #minecraft story mode #tw self harm #just gonna say PAMA just. out of stress unretracted their claws and in an attempt to reassure themself ended up scratching themself #my point is just its unintentional self harm PAMA isnt purposefully doing that #tw eye strain #if i need to tag anything else please lmk!#tldr; pama accidentally hurt themself self harm isnt a thing they usually do #they just accidentally scratched themself #still tagging it with a proper tw tho

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katethevampire · 9 months

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OH MY GOD HOW AM I STILL ALIVE MY DUMBASS WAS JUST FIDGETING WITH A KNIFE

#and i only noticed because i almost stabbed myself and was like “hmm this stick feels sharp on my chest- OH SHIT-!”#i am dumb #knife mention #tw knives #tw stabbing #unintentional self-harm

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haeryna · 4 months

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feeling so high but too far away to hold me ↪ gojo satoru x reader x geto suguru ;༊

← previous | ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ | next →

summary: satoru and suguru come to a critical conclusion, but is it too late for them to mend what was broken?

tw: angst, homophobia, abandonment, mentions of (unintentional) self harm, mentions of illness, barely proofread

notes: title taken from halsey's "without me." all images were taken from pinterest and are NOT mine! i'm not sure if i like how this came out but oh well gotta get through it lol. banner is from @/cafekitsune!

Lately, Satoru has been thinking a lot more about you.

He shouldn't be. Choso's been on his ass for stupid mistakes, like a slight misstep during practice, or the way his voice wavers ever so slightly on notes that are well within his vocal range. Nanami grumbles a bit more when recording sessions extend even further. Haibara brings him an extra water bottle during practice. Even Sukuna is slightly nicer to him, as if he can see how much Satoru is struggling.

Satoru hates it. It makes him feel weak, because he knows now that he misses you more than his heart can bear. He has women throwing themselves at him left and right, so why does a girl from a town he left behind make something in his chest twist? By all accounts, Satoru is thriving. He has a wonderful relationship with his boyfriend, his boy group has broken record after record with each single they release, and Satoru has just signed onto a brand deal with Chanel.

(He knows you're not just a girl, you were his. The only person he could bear to share Suguru with, the only person who could see past his flirtatious facade and say, "It's okay, 'Toru, I'm here for you." He knows the reason why he forces himself to believe you would have only shunned him like his parents, is to run from the realization that he abandoned you in the most horrific way possible.)

It doesn't help that his managers handle all of his social media accounts, and go through all his mail. As soon as him and Suguru signed onto the same agency, their phone lines were decommissioned, and they were given highly protected personal phones. You wouldn't be able to reach him even if you wanted to. Hell, they barely even saw Shoko, and the only reason was because they were both the only people who trusted her to take care of their medical needs.

Suguru had tried, once, to ask about you, to get a way of contacting you. Shoko had looked him dead in the eyes, steel hidden behind soft brown, and told him that, "if you were just going to abandon her like that, at least have the decency to stay gone until they could commit to her fully." The way Suguru's face had paled only confirmed the worst for Satoru; you hadn't understood. You had seen their leaving as the worst kind of betrayal. Shoko had refused to tell them more, stubborn in her loyalty to you.

At first, it was easier to hide shame behind a kind of disdain. Of course you hadn't understood what it had been like, being rejected so violently by parents you once loved. Of course you hadn't understood what it was like to feel the noose tighten around your neck until you knew you would either run, or die. Maybe if you couldn't let them go, it meant you truly had never loved them anyways.

As the months grew, slowly and surely, the tangle of excuses unraveled. You might not have understood, but you had defended him silently in small rebellious ways. The eyeshadow palette that still sat at his vanity. The birthday card you'd made him when you turned 14, with a small rainbow under the phrase "I'll love you no matter what." You too had felt the noose; you'd spent years fighting it, fighting your hatred of the small town you were forced to grow up in. "Satoru, Suguru, Shoko," you would tell them, "one day we'll all move out of here into the nicest, fanciest apartment in the city."

Grief was love with nowhere to go, and in that particular moment, Satoru found your absence particularly painful. Sighing, he stretches, resting his chin on the back of the couch to stare at the clock. 12:36; Suguru was probably still awake. Quietly, Satoru pads to the spare room in the apartment he shares with Suguru that they'd converted into their music and production room. Unsurprisingly, he finds Suguru perched on an old barstool they thrifted, gently strumming the strings of the guitar you'd gifted him so long ago.

"Satoru," Suguru says softly, pausing. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be asleep by now."

Wordlessly, Satoru wraps his arms around him, nuzzling into the slope of his neck. After a few moments, he speaks.

"I miss her."

He can feel the way Suguru stiffens slightly in his arms, before exhaling, tension releasing from his shoulders. "I miss her too. I've been thinking, Satoru."

"That's dangerous for you," Satoru chides, and Suguru rolls his eyes fondly.

"You're such a brat. I've been thinking, what if we went back?"

Satoru blanches, staring at Suguru. "What?"

"Not permanently," Suguru hastily amends, knowing how deep Satoru's scars run. "Just enough to...I don't know, Satoru. We messed up really badly. I know there's a large chance she won't even be there anymore. She used to always tell us about how she couldn't wait to move to the city. But we can at least start there, right?"

The news of Satoru's hiatus caused enough ripples for even you to notice it. Despite the fact you avoided anything to do with both his and Suguru's music career, every news outlet, radio channel, and social media post had something to say about it. Hell, you couldn't even open the local newspaper without seeing his face plastered on it, lamenting his temporary break from the group's next comeback.

Frowning, you slam the kitchen cabinet door a bit harder than necessary. Why should you care? If anything, you should be gloating with this piece of information, that not everything was perfect in Gojo Satoru's idol career. Yet, a small part of you still worried. Was he eating alright? Did something happen to Suguru? Should you call Shoko?

The door chimes, startling you out of your thoughts. Your parents are back in the hospital undergoing another round of treatments but they could have came back early. Sighing, you walk over to the door, opening it without a second thought.

"Hi, what-"

In that moment, you feel several emotions. Regret, that you hadn't checked who it was before opening it. An odd blend of concern and fear; why had they come back, was something horribly wrong? Most overpoweringly, was the deep sense of anger that welled up inside of you, seeing both Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru standing on your doorstep.

"You're here," Sator- Gojo, breathes, crystalline blue eyes greedily drinking in the sight of you. He reaches for you, but you flinch back.

"What are you doing here?"

You're surprised to see that Gojo seems hurt by that statement. Sugu- Geto steps closer. "We wanted to see you."

"Oh, so a whim?" You can't help the harshness of your voice, or the way that your voice trembles ever so slightly. "Its been years, Geto. Five years since you left, and you come back now? What am I, just an afterthought? I already knew that but my god you're such an asshole."

"That's not what I'm saying," Geto sighs, and you want to throttle him. "We missed you so much, I can't even-"

You can't help but cut him off, fists clenched and hot tears pooling in your eyes. "You could have left a note. You could have left me an address, could have reached out once you settled in, anything!"

It's Gojo's turn to speak, hands fidgeting as if he wants to pull you close. "Our managers-"

"I don't care!"

A hush falls after your outburst, and you can't help the tears that slip down your cheeks. "Did I really mean that little to you? I would have left with you, I would have done anything for you, so don't you dare try to come up with an excuse. Don't try to tell me that your managers stopped you. I loved you." Your voice breaks. "How could you?"

Both men look ashamed. Geto is the first to speak. "We thought you would have moved away. We lost our original numbers, and Shoko refused to-"

Your eyes flash. "Don't try to blame Shoko for this. Unlike the two of you, she stayed with me."

Gojo flinches. "That's not fair. We didn't have a choice, why can't you see that?"

A sardonic laugh escapes your lips. "See what? All I see is the choice you made in leaving me behind."

"What happened to you?" Geto breathes, and you fight the urge to slap him. "You were so adamant that you would get out of this town."

"Well I can't," you hiss. "Not all of us can abandon their loved ones without a second thought."

Gojo's face looks like you've just shattered his world. "You never left?"

Something in the way he says that breaks something inside of you. "Mom and Dad have whatever Grandmother had," you tell them. You're not even sure why you're saying this, but there's a sick sense of pleasure in watching it start to sink in. "There's nobody else to help take care of them. Whenever she can, Shoko will try her best to stop by."

"You've been alone," Geto murmurs, horrified.

Venom fills your mouth. "I have been since I was sixteen, thanks for asking. You think I didn't notice that you two were together? You never even said anything to me and I still figured it out." Gojo's face pales but you plow forward. "It was always Satoru and Suguru, Gojo and Geto, but what about me? I was there too, wasn't I?" Blood drips down your palms; you're digging your nails in hard enough to cut. "You two forgot about me. You discarded me, left me behind. Did you really think so little of me? Did you really think I would treat you like everyone else in this town?" You can see the pain in Geto's eyes. "As if it wasn't enough, I had to see you everywhere. It's nice seeing how quickly both of you replaced me with other women."

Gojo calls your name but you shake your head, vision blurring. "Go fuck yourself, both of you. Don't talk to me. I wish you'd never come back." Whirling back inside, you slam the door, ignoring the frantic banging and shouts. As you sink to the floor, you finally allow yourself to sob, curled up against the solid wood doorframe. I thought it was over, you think miserably. But somehow it hurts more than the day they left.

#haerinwrites #idol!satoru gojo #rockstar!suguru geto #satoru gojo x reader #satosugu x reader #suguru x reader x satoru #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #jjk angst #satoru x reader #suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you

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painsandconfusion · 29 days

Text

Off Guard

Whumping the Whumpers - Part Thirty-eight

(tw: electrocution, escape attempt, concussion, torture, death mention, murder mention, plotting murder, handcuffs, stun gun, blood, beating, unintentional self harm (bloody knuckles)) [Previous | Masterpost | Next]

Ethan’s fingers tingled as he walked, flicking them against each other by his side to stave off the sensation as he moved down the hall.

He didn’t want to be too loud. Not tonight. The light was off in Nate’s room, so the bastard must finally be getting some half decent sleep. No reason to wake him and have the idiot trying to take over the scene. Again.

He shoved open the workshop doors, ignoring the slight grinding whine the hinges gave off - though still subconciously noting to add some kind of oil or whatever the fuck you do with hinges later. As the lights snapped on, the pitiful lump of a man in the middle of the room curled into his chains, a small sound of displeasure coming off of him.

“What, were you sleeping? I’m sorry-” Ethan stepped up to him, almost delicately pressing a foot down onto a dried slurry of blood that gashed over Crawford’s thigh.

“Hnn-stopstto-”

“Hmm… I dunno, maybe beg a little more and see if it puts me in a good mood?” The edges of his mouth seemed to shift, tugging like curtains pulled by a string on the other side of the room to coax a smile out of him.

Getting there, at least.

It was an almost completely forgotten sensation. Smiling without meaning to. It pulled an entirely different set of muscles than the simple, polite curve he gave to people he wanted to shut up or leave him alone. Different than the ruse he put on or the sarcastic toothy grin he threw in Nate’s direction in place of a verbal response. This was something different entirely. Like a little parasite had carved up inside his cheek and gnawed at the thin strands of muscle until they tightened like strings of a violin, ready for the steady screech of rosin to truly set them alight.

“Y’mdnr-”

“Hmm~?” Ethan’s foot ground in further, leaning in to see Crawford’s face as the man squished it against the cement.

Another incoherent slurry of sound pressed from the man’s throat, still curled into a ball around the spot where the shackle lashed him to the ground.

Ethan rolled his eyes, pushing off the man with a small kicking shove before crouching down and squirming his hand into the knotted ball of a man to grab his jaw. Twist him round. Hear his neck crackle with the fresh movement after nights sleeping on cement.

“Use your words,” he prompted, forefinger alone relenting the grip to taptaptap on Crawford’s jaw.

.PaiN.

Pain.

Ethan knew pain.

Close friends as they were for so many years, it was strange he found himself at a loss for its name when it reared its ugly head once more, overwhelming his mind in a single snap of blank, processing emptiness.

Ethan felt the echoing crack as his head hit the concrete, remnants of what he was finally recognizing as electricity buzzing down his twitching legs.

Some strangled growl ripped up his throat as he tried to right himself enough to grab for the man who was shoving on top of him, but his arms were slow - groggy from sleeplessness, shock and lost, aimless electrons trying to find their way underground.

He shoved at Crawford only to feel the prongs of the stun gun shoved hard into his collarbone, burning agony through the skin and crackling as if eating through the bone itself as he thrashed to shove the searing pain away.

My name is Ethan Scott. The mantra lit up the back of his skull without prompt or ask. It was just there.

It begged him to fall stoic. To sit still and take it. Be tough. Be a good b-

No.

No-

NO.

My name is Ethan Scott and you cannot break me.

He won’t sit still- he can’t. Taking it isn’t strength right now, taking it is defeat.

Crawford was the one in chains today.

Ethan’s hands scrabbled for Crawford’s arm, finally knocking the thing off of his flesh with a roaring gasp, shoving the other man off of him as best he could.

Knuckles snapped against his nose, crunching it back. Some dull part of his mind calculated that that wasn’t even half the force of Crawford’s normal blows, but it locked up his mind anyway, pushing his gaze hazy and blurred as heat snapped across his sinuses and exploded behind his eyes.

There was blood. He could taste it.

Shoving numbly, he was barely keeping up enough to track the bastard’s fingers knotting into his hair and slamming his head into the ground. Again. Again. Again-

And it stopped.

The weight lifted off of him in a blur of white and charcoal grey, sound muffling to the side.

Ethan shoved back, hand moving to his face to press against the bleeding and squeeze his eyes shut to will vision to return to him. His head was spinning, like he was about to tip over and crack against the ground again.

He shoved it back. Forced his eyes open and made them focus on the sounds and movement to his left as he shoved himself up on an elbow to squint at the unknown blur.

It took a moment to process exactly what he was seeing.

Nate was a cheerful kind of bitch. The asshole whose smirk you could never wipe off. The life of the party. Class clown. Charmer. No matter how many screams he ripped out of Ethan, he did it with a gentle, almost seductive tone, grinning, smirking, or smiling almost fondly. He’d only seen Nate angry the once. When they’d met for the second time.

But this savage blur in front of Ethan’s bleary eyes had him wondering if he was knocked into a dream. Blood splattered up Nate’s face from the sheer force of his hits as he drove his fist into Crawford’s face again and again, snapping it back and forth against the unforgiving cement. He didn’t even have to pin the man down - the welp on the floor couldn’t do anything but try to throw his arms up in front of the blows, shielding his face.

Nate didn’t seem to care. He hit them too. Silent yet somehow screaming a rage tha echoed through Ethan’s skull.

Ethan sat there for several long seconds, trying to blink away the mirage in front of him before it slowly sharperned into clarity. It was really happening.

A dull thought finally graced his addled mind. He’s going to kill him.

Immediately a panic pressed up through Ethan’s veins like acid, snapping him to attention and the closest thing to lucidity his star-studded mind could handle. He shoved up to his knees and flopped forward to tackled Nate off of the man. “St- sstop- STOP!”

Nate shoves at Ethan, trying to throw him off enough to get back to Crawford. Ethan could practically see the red smeared over Nate’s eyes as he shoved the man’s hands away, fogged body easily ignoring the nails slicing blood from his arms in their desperation to return to their proper target.

“NATE STOP.” Ethan finally just grabbed Nate’s face, forcing it toward him.

Nate’s eyes stayed on Crawford, but he did slow, chest heaving and teeth barred like some kind of animal.

“..that’s enough-!”

Nate tried to shove off the words along with his hands. “He w-”

“I get to kill him. Me. Not you. Me.”

Nate’s breath stuttered off its ragged rhythm, and his jaw set, lips pinched tight as a glare snapped to Ethan’s eyes at last.

In a surrendering kind of huff, he shoved Ethan off of him again. This time Ethan let himself roll to the side, lying with shallow, echoing breath on the ground as Nate shoved out the workshop doors at a brisk walk, sticky hand leaving a smear of blood like claw marks over the edge of the door.

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