A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin
Word Count: 5k+
Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters).
Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff.
Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage.
A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke’s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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