#Supernatural x Trans!Reader

[supernaturalscribe67]

T-Shot

Words: 8,204

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Castiel x Trans!FTM!Reader

Warning(s): Language, Needles, Description of testosterone injection, slight angst if you squint, hurt/comfort, description of afab anatomy (use of the word 'clit' once), fluff, Castiel not understanding social cues

Summary: The reader has started his journey with testosterone, and his boyfriend, Castiel, promises to be with him every step of the way. What Castiel didn't realize was that the testosterone would change (Y/N) more than he realized.

Request:

Hi I was just wondering if you could do a Sam or even Cas fic (romantic) where reader is trans FTM and also asexual. Where the reader starts testosterone and sam or cas helps them with the new changes. You can just have fun with it. Make it a sad a bit too but end with a happy note :)

Anonymous

A/N: Someone please come and take this pen away from me. This fic was only supposed to be, about, 3k words, I don't know how it turned into my longest fic. I hope you guys enjoy! Feedback is much appreciated!

~Much Love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

As he descended the bunker steps, the paper bag crinkled in (Y/N)’s hands. It was the best sound he had ever heard in his entire life. For, in that very bag, was the key to achieving everything he had dreamed of and more, allowing him to get one step closer to the person he was destined to be. And it all came in a little glass vial.

(Y/N) looked in the library but found it empty, so he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. His steps were rapid, anxious, yet excited. When he entered, he saw Castiel on his bed, who sat up. The movement of the door startled him, but he was quick to recover. (Y/N) flashed a small smirk his way.

“Hey,” he greeted and closed the door behind him.

“You’re back,” Castiel stated and stood from his spot on the bed. He took a couple of steps closer to him. “How did it go?”

(Y/N) held up the bag. “I got it.” His smile widened.

Castiel matched his grin as he stepped even closer. He reached a hand up to cup (Y/N)’s cheek and gave him a soft peck on the lips. “I’m glad to hear that it went well. When are you scheduled to take your first dose?”

“Well, the doc said I can take it anytime I want to start. I just have to make sure to keep it spread out to a dosage every week. So, today’s, what? Wednesday? I’ll be taking them every Wednesday from now on. Preferably at night. Easier for me to keep track that way.”

Castiel nodded as he listened intently to everything (Y/N) told him. “I see. When will you plan on taking it tonight?” He tilted his head to the side. 

“I was going to wait until after supper, but I’m too excited to wait.”

“May I watch you?”

“Of course, babe,” he said before he walked past Castiel and over to his bed.

(Y/N) sat the bag down before he took his shoes off, kicking them to the side. He then unbuckled his belt and let his jeans fall to the floor with a light clink. He stood in nothing but his boxers and t-shirt. He would have taken his binder off to make himself even more comfortable, but he was so focused on getting the medicine in his body that he didn’t even consider it an inconvenience. As (Y/N) sat on the bed, he beckoned Castiel over and patted the spot next to him. Castiel followed his instructions and sat down, his hands folded between his knees. He watched with great concentration as (Y/N) grabbed the paper bag and ripped it open. Inside the bag was a long, rectangular box, two different sets of needles, four syringes, alcohol wipes, and band-aids. Castiel studied the supplies curiously.

“This is everything I’ll need for the month. I have my testosterone, the bigger needles to extract it, the 23-gauge needles to inject it, syringes, alcohol wipes for sterilizing my skin and the surface of the vial, and cute little cat band-aids for when I’m done.” (Y/N) explained, showing Castiel all of the supplies as he talked.

Castiel paid close attention. He examined everything presented to him, taking in as many details as he could. He picked up the small box and opened it. The vial dropped into his hand when he tilted it to the side. His eyes narrowed as he examined the clear content. As he moved his hand back and forth, he watched the solution swish around inside.

“This is what you put into your body to change yourself?” He asked.

“Yep. It may not seem like much, but once it kicks in, you’ll start to see the differences.”

(Y/N) grabbed the box of alcohol wipes and opened them up. He grabbed two from the pack; one for the injection location and the other for the vial. He set the unopened packs beside him and did the same with one of the band-aids. The needles soon followed, one of each being placed beside him, each of their packages opened to allow easy access when he went to switch them out. Next, was the syringe. It, too, stayed in the sterile plastic, but was opened for easy access. He then turned to Castiel and held out his hand. Castiel carefully placed the vial in his hand, and the process began.

(Y/N) grabbed the syringe and connected the larger needle to the end of it. He set that to the side and grabbed one of the alcohol wipes, ripping the corner of the packet with his teeth. Using the wipe, he cleaned off the top of the vial. He disposed of the wipe and grabbed the needles and syringe. The needle was uncapped, and he could feel the nerves bubble inside of him. He pulled the plunger of the syringe, allowing air to collect inside. The doctor said it would make for a more accurate extraction. With caution and precision, he injected the needle into the cap, tilted the vial upwards, and took out the dosage prescribed. The mere sight of the testosterone dripping into the syringe sent euphoria coursing through his body. 

With the extraction completed, he replaced the needle with the 23-gauge. He took a deep breath to steady himself, took out the other alcohol wipe, and disinfected the area on the top of his thigh. 

“Alright, the moment of truth,” he mumbled.

Using one hand to grasp the flesh of his upper thigh, (Y/N) gently guided the needle to his skin. The initial prick shocked his muscles a bit, as he wasn’t aware of how tense he had been. They were tight, and he knew he had to focus on relaxing them, otherwise it would hurt worse than it was supposed to. He didn’t stop pushing it in until the needle was fully in his thigh, the base of the needle almost flush against his skin. Once it was sheathed inside of him, his thumb shifted to the plunger and he began the injection. It wasn’t much - the doctor explained that the first couple of dosages would be smaller until they got a good sense of how his body was reacting to the medication - but it felt as if it took an eternity before the syringe was empty. When he was done, he, carefully, pulled out the needle. A small dot of blood mixed with testosterone appeared on top of his leg. He capped the needle and set it off to the side before he grabbed the bandage and placed it over the blood. 

He stared at the band-aid for a moment - it came in a cheap pack of twelve and had a blurred image of two kittens cuddling on it - before he looked up at Castiel.

“I did it,” he smiled brightly. “I just got my first t-shot.”

Castiel’s eyes shifted to (Y/N)’s and he mirrored his smile. He took a second to look over his features. Slowly, his expression shifted from joy to slight confusion. “You don’t look different.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “It takes some people a couple of months to notice any physical changes. It’s not magic. Wish it was,” he mumbled. “That’s why I need to do it every week, so it stays in my system and makes the changes.”

“Ah,” Castiel nodded. “Well, I’m proud of you, (Y/N),” he took his hand in his.

(Y/N) furrowed his brows. “For poking myself with a needle?”

Castiel shook his head. “You told me that getting your testosterone was going to be your biggest step in your journey of self-discovery so far. I’m proud that you were brave enough to take this step to become the person you’ve been destined to become.” Castiel reached up and gently cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks.

As cliche as it was, (Y/N) could feel his heart skip a beat. Ever since he told Castiel about wanting to start testosterone, he had been nothing but supportive. He always expressed that he wanted (Y/N) to live the life he wanted to live and that he would be by his side for the best and the worst of it. (Y/N) got lucky enough to have a partner like Castiel. It was as if he came right out of a dream. For that, he would always be grateful.

(Y/N) reached up and brushed his fingers against Castiel’s knuckles. “I love you, forever and always.”

“I love you, too. Forever and always.” Castiel replied, leaned in, and kissed him softly.

*~*

“Holy shit, this pizza is so good,” (Y/N) mumbled as he shoved the rest of the crust into his mouth, stuffing his cheeks full.

Sam and Dean gave him a questioning stare as he ate, their bites slow and methodical compared to his. Castiel, on the other hand, stared at him with an intense look of concern. It had been a little over a month since (Y/N) started testosterone and, while there hadn’t been many noticeable physical changes, there was one thing that everyone took notice of almost immediately; his intense change of appetite. 

Man, could that boy eat.

It wasn’t the fact that he served himself more during meals, either. If he wasn’t eating a meal, he was snacking. He snacked on chips, candy, fruits, vegetables, sandwiches, you name it. Anything that could be placed in a pantry or fridge had been eaten by (Y/N). Dean couldn’t even count on one hand the amount of times he had gotten on him for eating in the car, only to get a stern glare from both him and his boyfriend. Castiel hadn’t been too sure why (Y/N) began to eat as much as he had been. When he asked about it, (Y/N) simply told him that it was because of the testosterone, but didn’t give many details other than that. It left Castiel with a lot of questions that sat in the back of his mind, curious about the other aspects of testosterone that caused non-physical changes to occur.

(Y/N) reached for another slice, hesitated, and then grabbed the last two slices.

“Hungry?” Dean asked with a quirked brow.

“Starving,” (Y/N) mumbled, his mouth still recovering from his last bite.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “That’s, at least, your fifth and sixth slices.”

“Sam’s right, (Y/N). You’ve been eating a lot recently. Are you sure you’re alright?” Castiel asked warily, placing a hand on (Y/N)’s knee, rubbing it comfortingly.

(Y/N) chuckled. “I’m fine, babe,” he said, cheekful of food. “It’s just the testosterone. It makes me really, really hungry.”

Castiel flashed him another concerned look, despite the nod and small smile he gave. (Y/N) noticed his hesitancy and he flashed him a closed mouth smile. He placed his hand on top of his, swallowed his food, leaned over, and placed a small peck on the corner of Castiel’s lips. 

“I’m fine, babe, I promise.” He said as he looked into his eyes. 

Castiel studied his expression for a moment before he smiled again, one that was more genuine. “Alright.”

(Y/N) nodded briefly. “Okay, I’m going to the bathroom,” he said before he pointed at Sam and Dean. “Don’t touch my pizza.” The threat dripped from his lips. 

Sam and Dean raised their brows and watched as (Y/N) stood from the table, his eyes still piercing their souls as he left the room. Dean shook his head and took another bite of his food. Castiel glanced over at (Y/N)’s plate, then cast his gaze down to the table. His hands were on his knees, and he rubbed them tightly. Sam, noticing the distraught on his face, cocked his head in curiosity.

“What’s up, Cas?” he asked, placing his food back onto his plate. He folded his arms on the table.

Castiel gazed up at him for a moment before he shook his head. “I’m just worried about (Y/N). He doesn’t normally act like this.”

Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s a pretty big change, the testosterone. It’s as if he’s going through puberty all over again.”

“Sam’s right,” Dean chimed in, some pizza sauce and spittle peaking out of the corner of his full mouth. “Sammy ate like a pig when he hit puberty.”

“Not helping,” Sam deadpanned. “It’s just a side effect of the drug. It won’t last forever.”

“That’s what he told me, but I didn’t think it would change him like that.”

Sam chuckled. “Trust me, you’ve just scratched the surface of the side effects. It’ll be an interesting journey, to say the least.”

That comment didn’t seem to ease Castiel’s worry, which Sam took notice of. He sighed.

“Tell you what,” he dug into his pocket and took out his phone. “I have a couple of articles regarding the side effects of testosterone. Keep in mind, not everyone goes through the same experience, though, and not in the same order as others, either, but I can send them to you so you can at least have an idea of what (Y/N) could go through.”

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Sam. That would put my mind at ease.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Dean shrugged as he chewed the last bite of his pizza. He brushed the crumbs off of his hands. “So the kid has a bottomless stomach, who cares? The only bad thing about it is that he steals all the damn food! I didn’t even get a chance to have more,” he gestured to the empty, grease-filled pizza box in the center of the table.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’ll live,” he mumbled.

Dean looked over at (Y/N)’s plate, eying the single intact slice. It was obvious that the gears in his head were turning.

“Dean,” Castiel said in a deep tone of warning.

“What!?” He held out his hands dramatically. “I’m hungry.” Dean paused, eyes still glued on the food. Casually, he reached over and grabbed the uneaten slice. He brought it to his face and was about to take a bite when a loud, booming voice echoed throughout the kitchen.

“Drop it!” (Y/N) shouted.

Dean visibly jumped, eyes wide as he turned to see (Y/N) in the doorway, eyes laced with red fury. He quickly put the pizza back onto (Y/N)’s plate, got up from the table, plate in hand, and walked swiftly over to the sink. Sam snorted and took a bite of his food as (Y/N) stalked over to the table. He glared daggers into the back of Dean’s head. If looks could kill, Dean would have been dead…again. (Y/N) sat back down. 

“Asshole,” (Y/N) grumbled under his breath, picked up one of the slices, and took another bite.

*~*

Every fiber of his being was sore. Grave digging was not for the weak, and that was exactly how (Y/N) felt after the salt and burn. The three of them came out of the hunt with some minor scrapes and bruises that were certain to go away on their own over time. Injury-wise, he was fine, but his muscles screamed in pain and agony as he moved from the Impala to the motel room door. They begged for relief in the arms of a hot shower, but he knew his blessings were limited. The pain, however, wasn’t the only thing he noticed during the aftermath of the hunt. Once the adrenaline wore off and his senses finally came back to him, there was one crucial detail he had failed to take notice of before then.

(Y/N) smelled horrible.

It wasn’t as if he had gotten blood or guts on himself during the hunt. All he did was sweat. He knew there would be some changes in the way his body odor smelled, but, in no way would he have assumed it would be as pungent and foul as it was. He even made sure to layer on the deodorant during his pre-hunt preparation as an extra precaution, but it was all to no avail.

“I call first shower,” (Y/N) said as Dean took the room key out and unlocked the door. “Have I always smelled this bad?”

Dean scoffed. “I was going to offer you the first shower, anyway. You smell awful. I was going to say something earlier, but I figured Sammy would yell at me or something.”

The three of them entered the room, welcomed to the sight of Castiel laid back on his and (Y/N)’s shared bed. He sat up, eyes immediately scanning over their bodies, taking in all of their details for any sign of injury. Sam shook his head and walked over to his duffel bag that lay on the floor next to the opposite bed.

“Yeah, ‘cause you would have probably been a dick about it,” he retorted.

“I would not!” Dean exclaimed as he strode to his bag.

“No, please, be a dick about it. I wanna know for the next time.” (Y/N) shook his head and retrieved some night clothes from his duffel.

“What would Dean have been a dick about?” Castiel asked, head tilted slightly to the side.

“About telling me if I smell.” (Y/N) answered.

Castiel furrowed his brows. “I thought it was considered rude to tell people they smell bad.”

“Yeah, random people. Dean’s my friend, though, and friends help each other like that. They tell you if you smell or look bad to save you from embarrassment in public.”

“Does that apply to myself as well?”

(Y/N) smirked. “Yes, Cas, it does.”

“So, should I inform you of the red and white spots that you have on your face?”

(Y/N)’s smirk vanished and was replaced by a deep frown. Wordlessly, he walked past Castiel and to the bathroom. The dim light illuminated the poorly decorated room, the vent whirring to life. He stood in front of the basin and studied himself in the mirror. Upon closer inspection, (Y/N) gaped. Accompanying the blotches of dirt scattered around his face were red, angry zits. There were some across his cheeks, some on his forehead, and a giant, ready-to-pop whitehead on his chin. Castiel made his way over and placed his hand on the doorframe.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?” Castiel asked cautiously.

“No! Everything’s not okay!” (Y/N) whined and squeezed past his boyfriend so he could point an accusatory finger at Sam and Dean. “Some fucking friends you are! First, you don’t tell me that I smell bad, and now I find you didn’t tell me that my face looks like it lost a fight with a pizza!?”

“(Y/N), plenty of adults have acne. I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Sam defended himself.

Dean pursed his lips. “I thought Sam would yell at me.” He shrugged.

Sam shot Dean a glare and (Y/N) sighed.

“I went out as an agent like this.” He complained.

“You look fine,” Sam said.

“Fine? I look like I got out of a five-hour Leave of Legends session and drank Mountain Dew nonstop! That mixed with my voice sounding like I’m going to beg my mom for the new Fortnite Battlepass doesn’t necessarily scream agent.”

Sam and Dean both held in their laughter as they looked away. (Y/N) shook his head. 

“I’m so glad you two find this funny,” he grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.

Castiel came over and placed a hand gently on his waist. “(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) turned his gaze to Castiel, absentmindedly leaning against him. “Yeah?”

“Despite the marks on your face, I still think you are the most handsome man I have laid eyes on.” He offered a soft, sweet smile.

(Y/N) stared at him and took a deep breath, lips pursed. Slowly, a smile crept onto the corner of his lips.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better.” He said, leaned up, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

“Ew!” Dean exclaimed as he picked up one of his pillows and chucked it at the couple. “Get a room!”

*~*

Another day but, fortunately, not another hunt. It had been a month since the group had been able to rest from the copious amount of cases available, and they were taking advantage of it. They deserved a small vacation. (Y/N) and Castiel spent quality time together in the man cave, curled up on the couch with a blanket draped over their laps. A movie that (Y/N) had practically begged Castiel to watch played on the television. Castiel was laid back against the arm of the couch, his arm draped around (Y/N)’s middle so he could hold him close. A bowl of popcorn, coated deliciously in butter, sat between them.

“I don’t understand the conflict that the two storm-chasing teams have with one another. What happened to cause the rift in their relationship?” Castiel asked, eyes glued to the screen.

(Y/N) shrugged. “Honestly, they don’t go into detail about why they’re against one another. I wish they did,” 

Castiel hummed and went back to watching the film. A couple of minutes went by before the sound of footsteps came closer to the room. Dean poked his head into the door. He looked at the TV and then down at the couple.

“Hey,” he said.

(Y/N) glanced at him, grabbed the remote, and paused the movie. “Yeah?”

“I’m heading out on a supply run. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks,”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit,” Dean moved away from the door and began to make his way down the hall.

(Y/N) watched the doorway intently as he listened to the footsteps disappear into the distance. “Can you do me a favor, babe?” 

“Of course,” Castiel said, his attention fully on (Y/N). “What is it?”

“When Dean comes back, can you distract him?”

Castiel furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“I might, and I’m saying might, have played a prank on Dean that he’s not going to be too happy about.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, you know how, recently, I’ve stopped having my period?”

“Yes?”

“I had a lot of tampons and pads left over, and I didn’t necessarily want them to go to waste. So, I figured, what better way to get rid of them than to prank Dean with them.”

“How would you prank Dean with menstrual cycle products?”

(Y/N) bit his lip, anticipation filling his chest. He practically counted down the seconds, awaiting Dean’s imminent return. His muscles were tense, and the urge to run began to rise inside of him.

“Let’s just say Baby has some new decorations.”

“(Y/N)!” Dean’s voice echoed throughout the bunker.

Castiel’s head whipped toward the door, then immediately returned to (Y/N). “I’ll distract him.”

“God, I love you,” (Y/N) planted a kiss on Castiel’s cheek. “Bye!”

Without a second to lose, he threw the blanket off of him and dashed out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow. 

*~*

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped in a massive yawn. The mere sight of his bed made him want to collapse, but he knew he would hate himself in the morning if he didn’t change into something more comfortable beforehand. Castiel was sat at the end of the bed, loving gaze attached to (Y/N) as he went over to the dresser to get dressed. He was practically on autopilot as he moved, grabbed an oversized t-shirt and a pair of night pants, and proceeded to undress. However, something stopped him in his tracks as he took his binder off. His head was cast down, studying his chest intently. 

Castiel had witnessed that many times before; a dysphoric episode. There had been times when (Y/N) would sit and question himself about his appearance, whether out loud or mentally. Castiel would always take the time to remind him of how handsome he thought he was. How perfect he was. The progress he had made with testosterone. How in love with him he was. That moment, though, seemed different. Castiel stood from the bed and walked over to him.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” He asked softly. 

(Y/N) glanced up at him before his attention shifted to the full-body mirror that rested beside the dresser. He tilted his body so the light from his bedside table illuminated his naked torso. In the warm light, he was able to get a better look at his chest. He smiled.

“Cas! Look,” he gestured to the mirror. 

Castiel stepped closer to him, gaze locked on the mirror. He paid close attention to his chest to see what had caused the sudden happiness in his partner. The presence of smaller hairs scattered precariously around his upper torso was evident in the light. When he glanced up at (Y/N), he noticed that the smile that had been on his face had somehow widened. 

“My chest hairs finally came in! I thought it was gonna take, at least, a couple more months.”

Castiel grinned. “That’s wonderful, (Y/N).” He studied the hairs more closely. “Will they continue to grow?”

“Probably. They should grow a lot thicker, and maybe a little bit longer.”

Castiel stared at him with adoration. Wordlessly, he reached up, cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks, and kissed him. (Y/N) raised his brows, but immediately returned the kiss. The kiss was long and light, filled with love. When Castiel pulled back, (Y/N) slowly opened his eyes. 

“What was that for?” He asked quietly, reaching a hand up to caress Castiel’s.

Castiel hesitated before he let out a sigh. “Admittedly, I was rather nervous about this whole process at first. I was unsure of what would happen and how it would affect you. I never want to see you hurt. However, I see how happy you are when you see yourself now. The negative thoughts you used to have about yourself diminished greatly, and you’re even more handsome than when we first met. I’ve come to realize that my love for you can, indeed, grow stronger, and it does so every day.”

(Y/N) could feel his heart and chest swell. If he was in a cartoon, he swore his pupils would turn into hearts.

“I love you, too, Cas,” He said softly as he wrapped his arms around his waist and laid his head against his chest. “More than you’ll ever know.”

*~*

(Y/N) had been in bed for three hours. Within the past week, he had started to experience bottom growth. Although he was excited to be able to start that part of his transition, to fully feel like his body was conforming to the person he was, he had to admit that the pain was more intense than he had originally anticipated. It wasn’t a constant pain, but when it arose, it felt like a dull, throbbing pain mixed with the sensation of a thousand needles simultaneously stabbing his clit. Painkillers worked for the first couple of days, but the relief gradually faded as the pain became more intense. No matter which way he sat down, stood, or laid down, nothing could dull the ache.

He had done some research on different forums about bottom growth, and he found that only a small - minuscule would be a more accurate word - amount of transmen experience full-on pain during bottom growth. So few that there was barely any information on how to relieve the pain. He could only assume that those people saw the thousands of comments claiming no one would have pain that they were too afraid to post about their own experience. He cursed himself for being so unlucky. His transition had been going so well. Of course there would be a hiccup. That was just his luck.

Perhaps it was similar to that of period cramps. Perhaps the intense pain would only last a while before it went away. Perhaps he was kidding himself. That he was the only transman to experience that level of discomfort. Perhaps that was just karma for thinking he could be a real man.

Fuck that. If pain was what it took to be a man, he was prepared to endure it, even if it killed him.

The icepack had turned warm and no longer provided relief. He had his eyes closed, head tilted back into the pillow, his fingers tangled tightly into his hair. A hiss passed his clenched teeth as another sharp pain attacked his nerves. As the pain slowly subsided, there was a light rasp on the door.

“Come in,” he groaned. 

The door opened a crack. Castiel poked his head into the room before he stepped inside. A worried look was prominent on his face as he closed the door and moved closer to the bed. 

“(Y/N), are you alright? Sam and Dean told me you’ve been in here for quite some time.” He asked, taking a seat next to him.

(Y/N) inhaled sharply as the dip of the bed caused discomfort to shoot between his legs. Castiel glanced between (Y/N)’s legs and his eyes.

“No, I’m not okay,” (Y/N) whined. “I started bottom growth and it hurts like Hell. I’m tired and hungry, but the aches are so bad that I don’t want to get up or go to sleep. I just want it all to pass,” 

Tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes as he ran his hand down his face. Castiel’s feeling of worry only intensified as he saw how (Y/N) had been affected. He shifted in his spot.

“(Y/N), I don’t like seeing you like this. Let me heal you,” he pleaded with him as he reached his index and middle finger towards his forehead.

(Y/N)’s eyes grew wide and he snatched Castiel’s wrist before he could be touched.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled, eyes narrowed and words dripped in venom.

Castiel raised his brows, taken aback by the tone of voice that was used. It was the first time (Y/N) had ever spoken to him like that.

“(Y/N), please, I can see how much you’re hurting. Let me take care of you.”

“No! Because I don’t know what your stupid angel juice will do to me. I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at,” his voice was strained, broken.

“I just want you to be happy again.”

“I am happy!” (Y/N)’s loud voice echoed off the walls of the room as he sat up quickly.

He instantly regretted his movement when a painful shockwave struck his nerves. He clenched his jaw, cupped his crotch, and laid on his side, his back to Castiel. Castiel reached over to comfort him, but his hand was roughly shoved away. (Y/N) paid no mind to the expression of hurt Castiel had.

“I fought with myself my entire life to figure out who I am, and I fought even harder to get to where I am right now. If being in pain will turn me into the man I want to be, then so be it. Your father already made one mistake by putting me in the wrong body. I’m not going to sit here and let you reverse the progress I’ve made to finally fix his fuck-up.”

“(Y/N)-”

“No! I don’t want to hear it. Now get out.”

Castiel froze, surprised by the demand. It had been a while since he saw (Y/N) so angry, and the last time wasn’t even directed toward him. He never raised his voice at Castiel. Sure, they had their spats here and there, as most couples do, but they never shouted at one another. They knew how to talk about their problems, work through them, and discuss the way that they felt, something a decent amount of relationships lack. This was a whole new experience for Castiel.

He hated it.

At first, he contemplated talking to (Y/N) again. Try to convince him to take his offer to heal him. He hated seeing his partner in such a painful state, the same as at the end of any hunt. Castiel’s first instinct would be to heal him. To make the pain go away. To be able to see the smile he adored so much, which was hidden by the layers of agony he was experiencing. Alas, in the end, he decided against it. Instead, he opted to follow (Y/N)’s wants. He stood slowly, and quietly, from his spot on the bed and walked over to the door. His eyes never left (Y/N), his mind performing one last battle with itself, the urge to speak overwhelming. He held the desire back as he opened the door and left the room.

*~*

The library was quiet. Sam and Dean sat on either side of one of the tables, Sam with a pile of books laid out in front of him and Dean with his laptop and a small bowl of snacks. The occasional sound of pages being turned and the mouse pad click filled the room. Aside from the occasional small talk, they said nothing. Castiel entered the room, and their attention turned to him.

“Hey Cas,” Dean greeted.

“Hey Cas, how is he?” Sam followed up.

Castiel walked over to the table and sat down to the left of Dean. A sigh escaped his lips as he slouched in the seat, his folded hands resting on his stomach. He had a visibly defeated look on his face as he took some time to answer Sam’s question.

“He is in a lot of pain. I attempted to heal him, but he wouldn’t let me. He got upset with me and kicked me out of the room. I’ve never seen him so angry before.” Castiel shook his head.

Sam and Dean stared at him for quite some time.

“You tried to heal him?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Castiel confirmed. “He is in a lot of pain. I am certain I can make it go away.”

“Cas, he doesn’t want to be healed,” Sam said.

“I realize that, Sam.”

“No, I don’t think you do. I can tell you’re still upset about the whole thing. What (Y/N) is going through right now is a normal part of the transition. Granted, he has it a Hell of a lot worse than most, but, that’s why we called you. We thought you would be able to come over and comfort him.”

“I thought healing him would be comforting. It was supposed to make him feel better. To get him back to normal.”

“See? ‘Back to normal’. Don’t you see how that can be misconstrued?”

Castiel looked at him curiously. “I do not.”

“Well, what you see as something to be healed, (Y/N) doesn’t. He’s very proud of the pain he’s in. He views it as an accomplishment. To heal him and take that pain away, it would be as if you’re stripping him of that achievement.”

“Sam’s right,” Dean chimed in. “When he first noticed the bottom growth, he came to us saying, ‘Guys! Guys! I have a dick now!’.” Dean mocked with a smile, causing Sam and Castiel to grin as well. “And then, when the pain started, and we began to get worried, he would say, ‘It hurts like Hell, but I still have a dick’. He was still happy about it, even though it hurt.”

Castiel nodded, considering their words. “I see,” he trailed. “I know that this was a big deal for (Y/N), but I didn’t comprehend why he was willing to go through the pain. I understand, now, that it’s because he’s finally happy with himself and the progress he has made. The way I worded my concern for his wellbeing made it appear as if I wanted to reverse the work he has done.”

“Exactly!” Sam nodded.

“I would never want that, though. (Y/N) appears to be in the best mindset I have ever seen him in, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that. I would never reverse the progress, even if I could.”

“We understand that. We know how much you love him-”

“Yeah, it’s kind of gross,” Dean mumbled.

Sam sighed. “As I was saying, we know how much you love him, and we recognize you would never say or do anything to threaten that progress, but when someone is in a lot of pain, they don’t always think clearly. Take Dean for example. When I have to stitch him up after a hunt, he says some pretty mean shit to me, but he never means it.”

“At least that’s what I let him think,” Dean whispered to Castiel just loud enough for Sam to hear.

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. “Dean, you’re not helping.”

“Sorry,” Dean cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair.

“(Y/N) is still head-over-heels in love with you.” Sam turned back to Castiel. “Pain can just make us say some stupid stuff. It would probably be best to give each other some space right now, think about what we discussed, and talk to one another tomorrow.”

“I think that is a good idea,” Castiel said as he stood from the table and brushed off his trenchcoat. “Will you keep me informed on how he is throughout the day?”

“Of course, man, yeah,” Sam smiled up at him, which Castiel was quick to return.

“Thank you. I will be on my way, then.”

“Where are you going?”

“To retrieve some of (Y/N)’s favorite treats to give to him. I’m hoping that might make him feel better.”

Sam’s smile widened. “That’s a good idea.”

*~*

It took (Y/N) over two hours to be able to fall asleep. The pain hadn’t been constant, but with how exhausted he was and the tears burning in the corner of his eyes, all he could do was lay there and think. He couldn’t believe the audacity that Castiel had to ask if he wanted to be healed. Scratch that. Castiel hadn’t even asked if he wanted it. He had simply told (Y/N) that he was going to heal him. He didn’t need that, though. He didn’t need to be fixed. (Y/N) was perfect the way he was, even if some things still needed to be tweaked. Nothing about him was broken. Therefore, nothing needed to be fixed.

Perhaps he was overthinking Castiel’s intentions. Truly, he never meant what (Y/N) interpreted it as, right? Castiel loved (Y/N), even though his physical attributes were changing, right? Of course, he did, otherwise, he wouldn’t have practically begged to heal him. Right?

With the image of Castiel’s pain-filled eyes in his mind, he couldn’t help but feel a tinge of guilt swell in his stomach. 

He had never snapped at Castiel before. He didn’t think Castiel deserved it. Especially now. All he had tried to do was make him feel better - in Castiel’s own way - and (Y/N) took the anger he had for the pain out on him. How could he do that to him? The shame was eating him up inside. There wasn’t much he could do, though. The aches and pains made any desire to move or speak vanish. He knew he had to apologize, to make things right, but it would have to wait until he felt better. 

Eventually, after another round of pain, (Y/N) could feel the exhaustion wash over him. His eyelids slid shut, and it didn’t take long for slumber to come.

*~*

The pain was more bearable when he awoke. It was more of a dull throb rather than needle-like stabbing. He was able to move around with mild discomfort. Even though he was more mobile, the exhaustion from the day before was still very much present, despite the hours of sleep he had gotten. The desire to crawl into his bed once more was intense. Thankfully, the lack of a hunt made that possible. So, as soon as he awoke, he got up, grabbed himself a water bottle, painkillers, and snacks, and retreated to his room.

While the pain had subsided substantially, his thoughts were clearer than before. He was able to think back to the spat he had with Castiel in greater detail and understanding. With a mind free of any pain-influenced thoughts, he felt even more guilty than he had before he slept. The hurt he had seen in Castiel’s eyes was practically burned into his soul. The only other time Castiel had looked at him with those eyes was when he was on the brink of death after a hunt gone wrong. He never wanted to be the cause for that look. He shouldn’t have snapped. Not at Castiel. Never at Castiel.

As he lay in bed, he pulled out his phone, brought up Castiel’s contact, and texted him.

Hey, babe. Could you come to our room when you get the chance, please?

He placed the phone onto his lap and began to nibble on the nail of his thumb. He couldn’t think of anything else. Nothing could shift his attention away from the problem at hand. Even if he tried to occupy himself with mindless scrolling or one of his hobbies, he didn’t think he would be able to concentrate on anything else. The whole disaster could have been avoided had (Y/N) thought about Castiel’s intentions rather than his insecurities. That was one of the character flaws he had to work on.

It wasn’t long before three soft knocks echoed against the wooden door, and (Y/N)’s head whipped up.

“Come in,” he said.

Just like before, the door opened a crack and Castiel poked his head inside before entering the room. Instead of the worried look he had before, it was replaced by intense nerves. Not only that, but, in his hands, Castiel held a small, decorative box, some items poking out of the top. The box was the least of (Y/N)’s worries.

“Good morning,” Castiel greeted, almost cautiously. “How are you feeling today?”

“A bit better. A little achy, but nothing like it was yesterday.”

“I’m glad.”

They sat in silence. (Y/N) still laid back on the bed while Castiel stood a couple of feet from him. The guilt only intensified. To think that Castiel was nervous to get closer to him because of his outburst broke his heart. Rightfully so. He patted the spot next to him on the bed. Castiel took the silent invitation and moved over to him. As he got closer, (Y/N)’s attention shifted to the box.

“What’s in there?” He asked quietly.

Castiel looked down at the box and then back at him. “It’s some of your favorite snacks,” he said and held out the box to him. “I figured it would make you feel better.”

Carefully, (Y/N) took the box from him and examined the contents. Inside were, indeed, some of his favorite snacks and candies. The guilt was killing him. He gave a small smile and set the box to the side.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” Castiel gingerly sat beside him on the bed, careful of the way it shifted under his weight. “(Y/N), I wanted to apologize-”

“No, Cas,” (Y/N) interrupted. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, okay? I should be the one to apologize for what happened.”

(Y/N) turned his body in the bed, his face contorting slightly to a look of discomfort from the ache and settled for laying on his side so he could face Castiel.

“I should have never yelled at you like that. I should have never yelled at you at all. You were only trying to help. I realize that now, and I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”

Castiel nodded. “Sam informed me that my intentions might have been misconstrued because of the pain.”

“They were at the time. The pain clouded my judgment and, in a sense, it made me assume you wanted to get rid of my bottom growth altogether. I know that’s impossible, and I don’t know what could have made me think otherwise. If you were capable of changing me to that extent, I would have asked you months ago to use your grace on me instead of taking hormones,” he let out a dry chuckle. “But, Cas, I hope you know that my being in pain doesn’t give me a reason to talk to you the way that I did.”

“I understand,” He replied, gaze cast down.

“Hey, look at me,” (Y/N) reached over and, using his index and middle fingers, turned Castiel’s head so that their eyes were connected. “You don’t deserve to be talked to like that, especially by me. I was a terrible boyfriend at that moment.”

“No, you weren’t,” Castiel shook his head as he grasped both of (Y/N)’s hands in his. “I’ve had time to reflect, and, if I’ve learned anything from my time on Earth, it’s that people make mistakes. It’s okay to make those mistakes as long as you take accountability for them. I took accountability for my mistake, and you took accountability for yours.”

“You’re right, accountability is very important, and people do make mistakes, but those mistakes shouldn’t hurt the ones we love. I love you, Castiel, more than you’ll ever truly know. You’ve stood by my side through every second of my transition and have continued to show your undying love and support for me, even when I’m a dick to you. You even got me a damn basket of my favorite snacks, even after what I did,” Tears streaked down his cheeks, and his voice began to quiver as he spoke. “You are so kind and caring and compassionate, and I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop,” Castiel reached a hand up and used his thumb to brush the tears away from his cheeks. “(Y/N), I love you, too. More than I ever thought possible. You deserve everything, and I wish I could give it to you. It hurt me so much to see you in pain, that I didn’t even consider your feelings. That was selfish of me, but, I know, from now on, I will consider what you want before I consider anything else.”

(Y/N) sniffled. “Oh, Cas, you’re not selfish. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. The fact that you care so much about me is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I just need to learn to keep my damn mouth shut when you’re trying to be nice,” he chuckled and leaned his forehead against Castiel’s. “Can you forgive me?”

Castiel opened his mouth to protest, to say that (Y/N) didn’t need to be forgiven, but he took a page out of his newly found book of social knowledge and gave him a small smile. “Yes, I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

(Y/N) attempted to do the same, to say that Castiel had done nothing wrong, to repeat the same line he had just preached. But he just copied the smile and gave a faint nod. “I forgive you.” He whispered as he leaned over and kissed him sweetly.

The kiss lasted a couple of seconds before they pulled away, enjoying their sweet embrace. (Y/N) shifted on the bed to get more comfortable and, again, winced when the ache returned. Castiel took notice, his eyes roaming (Y/N)’s body.

“Are you alright? Would you like me to get you anything?” He asked.

(Y/N) shook his head. “No, babe, thank you. Maybe we could just lie in bed together for a bit while I snack on the treats you got me?”

Castiel smiled. “That sounds like a great idea.”

The two of them adjusted themselves in the bed so Castiel was laid on his back and (Y/N) was laid on his side. His head and hand rested on his chest while Castiel’s arm was wrapped around his shoulders. (Y/N) reached over, grabbed one of the many bags of candy, and sat it between them. They sat in a comfortable silence, wrapped in each other’s embrace, never wanting to let go.

Everyone seeks some type of support and comfort from others. Whether it be family, friends, partners, coworkers, or complete strangers, the strength and stability of the human race depend on the support of others in some way, shape, or form. (Y/N) was lucky enough to be put in a situation where he was surrounded by people who loved and appreciated him for who he was. Despite the trials and tribulations of the past and the ones yet to come, he knew he always had loved ones in his life to fall back on in times of trouble. 

And (Y/N) would cherish that for as long as he lived.

#Supernatural #supernatural #SPN #spn #Supernatural x Reader #Supernatural x Trans!Reader #Trans!Reader #Transgender #Transmasc #Castiel #castiel #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester #SPN x Reader #SPN x Trans!Reader #spn x reader #spn x trans!reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural x trans!reader #Castiel x Reader #Castiel x Trans!Reader

[super-incorrect]

Kevin, with a high pitched voice - Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school to achieve my dream of becoming the President!

Y/n, with a deep voice - Nonsense, Barbie. You're staying home and having my children

Dean - What the fuck is going on here?

Kevin - *hiding behind Barbie's back*

Kevin - Nothing!

Y/n - Playing systematic oppression

#incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes supernatural #supernatural #supernatural incorrect quotes #y/n incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes spn #spn incorrect quotes #spn #spnfandom #kevin tran #kevin tran incorrect quotes #kevin tran x y/n #kevin tran x reader #kevin tran x you #incorrect quotes kevin tran #dean winchester incorrect quotes #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x reader x kevin #barbie #ken #spn x y/n #spn x you #spn x reader

[sam-winchesters-my-bf55]

Dean helping reader with his T shots:

A/n: I made a dean version too! Yippie!!

Starting off, Deans hyper supportive

Like, if someone even makes a 'weird sound' if your talking about it, he shuts it down immediately

He never wants you to feel bad about you becoming happy and comfy in your own skin. Never.

He does have a fear of needles, so he doesn't really look when you actually go to do the injection, and he prefers not to give you the injection himself, but he will if you really want him to.

Pokes fun at your facial hair when it starts coming in, especially the little mustache you get

You know he isn't actually trying to be mean

Like sam, he's always really proud of you

He thinks its fucking awesome that you're doing this

Goes with you to every appointment, every followup, anything.

He really wants you to know he cares

Definitely celebrates once you reach milestones

Talks to you in a deeper voice sometimes when your voice becomes noticeably deeper just to mess with you

Gives you tips on how to shave, and do other things

Never lets you get down about yourself, and he sure as hell never lets you get insecure.

(If you don't mind it) He happily shows off your progress

He thinks its the most coolest thing ever that your doing this, and wants everyone else to know just how cool you are too

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #spn #dean x you #dean x reader #dean #dean x male reader #dean x trans reader

[stormyelliotwritez]

Dean Winchester when he’s dating trans male reader

he’s slightly confused at first (even tho i hc him as trans but he’s cis just for this)

after you explain it to him, he’s like ok sweet and he’s supportive

he’ll steal stuff if you want it like t or other stuff

he will absolutely buy you a binder and if you’ve already got one, he’ll be so mother hen about reminding you to not wear it all the time

he’s the sweetest boyfriend and he’s always calling you handsome and saying stuff like you’re more of a man than he is when you kill more monsters on hunts

he will beat up people who purposely misgender you and if you don’t want him to, he’ll death glare them instead

when you get your period, he’s so protective like you’re going on no hunts whatsoever and you are staying at the motel or the bunker and watching crappy movies and eating chocolate and he’ll buy whatever stuff you need

he wants to give you the boy childhood you probably didn’t get so you guys watch all the manly movies and he’ll buy you the cool gender affirming clothes you want or he’ll steal them, it depends

when you have bad dysphoria days, he’s by your side for the whole time and he’ll tackle you into bed to cuddle and he’ll send sam off on hunts if they happen because he doesn’t wanna leave your side

he’ll always assure you that you’re a man and you’re his boyfriend and the best boyfriend he could ever have and that he’s so lucky to have you

#dean winchester #x m!reader #x trans male reader #x transmasc reader #x male reader #x reader #supernatural #headcanons #dean winchester headcanon #stormy writes things

[thelittleangel]

how they would react to you coming out as trans (ftm)

warnings: mentions of transphobia, and misgendering.

tags: physical affection, coming out, trans reader, male reader, can be read as romantic or platonic.

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon, Shane Walsh, Negan, Dale Cooper

Fandoms: supernatural, the walking dead, twin peaks.

authors note: if you like this one, I can write an MtF version.

Sam Winchester

trans ally Sam my beloved.

he probably already had a feeling.

he would see every time you would readjust the way you were sitting, or every time you would cross your arms over your chest.

he sees every time you stare into the mirror, wondering who the person looking back is.

so, yeah, he had a feeling.

he sits quietly with you while you say what you need to.

he wraps you in the tightest hug you've ever had.

immediate he/him, your chosen name, everything.

he takes you to every appointment and he's always waiting outside, or in the room with you.

he holds a party for every milestone

Dean Winchester

you're in the library, doing research.

he sits across from you drinking a beer, looking at something on the laptop.

"Dean I have something to tell you."

he looks up from what he's doing.

as you begin to tell him, he shuts the laptop.

Direct eyes contact the entire time.

"It ain't the weirdest thing I've seen."

he takes you out and gets you a more masculine wardrobe, if that's what you want.

he wants to be more respectful of what you want.

his father forced him to be a very macho type of person, and he doesn't want you to feel like you have to be this ultra masculine type of person.

Castiel

He knows what being trans is.

When you tell him, he stays quiet. he listens to what you have to say because he knows how important this is to you.

he keeps a mental record of your name, pronouns, what triggers your dysphoria, what makes you feel less dysphoric, and things of that nature.

Whenever you feel dysphoric, he gives you his trench coat to wrap up in.

Rick Grimes

you're going to have to explain it to him.

once he understands, he's like

oh

okay

if you wear a binder, he makes sure you don't wear it for longer that 8 hours.

he makes sure to use the right pronouns and the right name.

he tries to make sure that the others do too.

Daryl Dixon

"Wha'?"

once you explain it to him, it's all good.

he's so worried about messing up as far as pronouns or your name.

"You jus' tell me when I mess up, alrigh'?"

he keeps track of how long you've had your binder on and lets you know when it's time.

he goes on runs to make sure you have testosterone. he also makes sure that any of the needles and syringes are safe and clean to use.

Shane Walsh

he doesn't understand at first.

you're gonna have to explain it a few times.

"She goes by He/Him."

he makes sure you're not wearing your for more than eight hours, that you're taking your meds and generally taking care of yourself.

he will go on runs with you to get testosterone.

he tries his best to understand.

Negan

I am a firm believer in ally Negan.

he understands what being trans is.

it's an immediate switch.

he gets the pronouns and name right first try.

he gets the saviors to get you testosterone.

he makes sure you only wear your binder for eight hours and not a second more, especially in the summer.

he finds a doctor to get you top surgery if you want to do that.

Dale Cooper

the most ally to ever ally

probably the most supportive character in this entire list.

instant he/him

goes with you to pride parades

celebrates all the anniversaries with you

goes with you to all the appointments.

stays with you when you recover from surgery.

stays with you when you are feeling especially dysphoric.

#trans reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #rick grimes x reader #castiel x reader #daryl dixon x reader #shane walsh x reader #negan x reader #dale cooper x reader #the walking dead headcanons #twin peaks headcanons #supernatural headcanons #transgender reader #male reader

[gwiyeounsonyeon]

Writers who write for trans (Female to Male) listen up.

Stop making reader using unhealthy binding methods, you might not think anything of it but it normalizes that shit. If you are going to make the reader go through that put safer methods or links to cheaper binder options.

Binding with bandages or tape is not ok and if done enough will ruin your chances at getting surgery if you want it.

If you can’t afford a binder layering sports bras is also effective, use only three and put the middle one on backwards. If that doesn’t seem to work try pushing your chest closer to your armpits, moving them over like that can make your chest appear flatter, Wearing bigger shirts, hoodies or thicker fabrics like cotton on top of the sports bras can also make your chest look flatter.

Please remember that other people’s opinions of you are bullshit. If someone doesn’t truly love you there opinion shouldn’t mean shit to you.

It doesn’t matter who you are if you think you are a boy and you feel like a boy you are a boy. If people put you down because your “unconventional” don’t let them get you down those kind of people are stupid and don’t have anything better to do than rag on some innocent guy.

You are your own person. You don’t need validation to be who you are.

#x male reader #x ftm reader #trans ftm #haikyuu x ftm reader #female to male #trans #transgender #trans boy #supernatural x ftm reader #Naruto x ftm reader #ftm writer #ftm reader

[yourmom1232]

Castiel finding you crying over gender dysphoria

Warnings: Gender dysphoria, misgendering, crying and I believe that's it

It had been a hard day. You were on a case with Sam and Dean posing as FBI agents when it started. "I'm Agent Daniel and these are my partners Agent Peterson and Andrew" "Sirs and Ma'am" the officer said referring to you as Ma'am. You decided to let it slide, it was just one mess up and you guys weren't gonna be there long so who cares? The officer led you guys to the body. He explained that it looked like everything had just been sucked out of the body. "Huh he kinda looks like he's been vacuum sealed" you commented. "What she said" The officer replied. Now you were just mad. "Um excuse me, he's a boy" Sam told the officer. "No way, if you don't mind me saying your a pretty girly looking dude." Embarrassment flowed through you. Your day was now officially ruined. "Alright well thanks we'll be on our way" Dean said turning to walk away.

The ride home was miserable. Sam and Dean apologized for the cops behavior but that did nothing to make it better. Once you got home and into your regular clothes Dean and Sam went out to get food. As soon as they left you stated to cry. What the officer had said really got to you. You looked in the mirror picking apart your appearance before you got into bed and sobbed softly. You heard a whosh and saw a confused looking Cass staring down at you. "Are you alright? Sam and Dean sent me here to make are you okay" Cass was you boyfriend that you loved dearly. You were so ashamed and embarrassed that he had found you like this. He knew that you were trans and that sometimes it caused you distress but he didn't know it could cause this much. "I'm sorry Cass this is so stupid" He stopped you before you could say anything else. "Whatever your feeling could not possibly be stupid if your crying like this. So please tell me what's wrong" So you did. You told him about the app and how dysphoric it made you feel, how you felt like no one will ever see you as a real boy and that you would always be a girl. "Honey, The people that are important in your life are you as a boy and always will. You are a real boy and your the most handsome, beautiful, kind, and wonderful boy I have ever met." "Thank you Cass" you said with tears in your eyes. You cuddled into Cass and he wrapped an arm around your waist. He kisses you. "I love you Y/n" "I love you too Castiel"

Hope you enjoyed!

#supernatural x reader #castiel x reader #castiel x male reader #Castiel x trans reader #spn x male reader #castiel imagine #castiel

[asgardianhusband]

|Supernatural|Guys reacting to you Coming out as Trans(FTM);

{Requested}

A/N; This one was one of my Favorite Requests ngl c: I Hope you enjoy it! [I didn’t include John bc #Johnwinchestersucks sry but not sry] as a Trans guy this hit me like harder then i expected. also sorry for any spelling errors :) <3

CW: Mentioned Dysphoria, mentioned violence ?

“Hey Dean? I need to talk to you, it’s important.” You walked towards him, your eyes were pointed at the Floor and your Hands started to shake.

“What is it?” He turned around and gave you a knowing look, Dean always knew when something was up.

You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes “Dean, I’m not a girl. I’ve known for some time now but I was to afraid to say something, I want to be a boy!” Your eyes immediately looked away, you were to scared to see the look on his face.

Before you knew it, Two strong arms were wrapped around you Hugging you tightly. “I’m so happy for you, My dude.” He gave you a kiss on the forehead and smiled, It was a genuine smile and felt so good to see on his face. “So What should we call you now? Something like Dean jr?” He laughed and laid a hand on your shoulder, a smile formed on your face when you told him your name.

“Y/N, that’s my name.” He patted your shoulder softly while giving you up and down look. “Well Y/N seems like we need to go shopping for you, but for now-“ he paused and walked up to his bag with clothes, he searched for a bit and then threw a shirt and flannel your way. “Here, it’s gonna suit you just fine boy.” He turned around to give you a big smile. “Thanks, Dean.” You said before leaving the room to change in your new clothes.

When Sammy first started to notice how uncomfortable you looked in your clothes, He gave you a shirt of his and said that you might grow into it someday. He wasn’t really shocked when you cut your hair or started to change your appearance to look more masculine, He was actually the one to come up to you and ask:

“Hey, You? Uhm Do you want to tell me something?” Sam asked while he looked at his Laptop, you were sitting across the table playing with you hoodie. “What would I want to tell you?” you haven’t had the courage to come out not because you didn’t trust him but more because it would be difficult to be seen as a Hunter by some people.

“Maybe a new name? A day when you want to get some fitting clothes for yourself?” He looked up and smiled softly, your eyes widened as you looked at him. “N-name?” You weren’t aware that he knew what was going on, you thought if Dean didn’t notice why would He?.

“Come on, I see how you’re struggling. Do you really think I’m that blind? You can always trust me, I’ll always be here for you.” Your eyes were tearing up at that assurance coming from Sam, he stood up and went over to squat down before you. “Hey hey, look at me. It’s all gonna be okay.” He laid his hand on you cheek and wiped away a tear.

“My name is Y/N and I want to be a guy.” You said proudly, Sam’s face showed pure happiness. “I’m so proud of you Y/N, that was very brave of you dude.” Sam stood up and held his arms open, you immediately stood up and hugged him. He patted your back and for the first time in a long time you felt very good in your own skin.

“Hey Kiddo, give me the wrench will yah?” Bobby asked while he Worked on the motor of his current car, you gave him the wrench he asked for and continued to stare at the blue-grey sky. “Hey, are you alright?” He asked concerned as he looked at you while closing the engine hood, He had that worried father look on his face that you knew way to well by now. You didn’t know if he would accept you, he was born into the older generation so he might not support it? Maybe he would abandon you for being different? Maybe he would think you were just as bad as the other monsters that you had to face everyday.

“I have to tell you something but I’m scared you won’t accept it or you will hate me.” You said while looking down at the ground trying to keep your tears from spilling, He put the wrench down and laid his hand on your head. “Nothing that you could tell me would ever change my opinion about you, Idjit.” He removed his hand as your head lifted up to look at him, now was the time. “I want to be a boy, I spent so much time convincing myself that it was a phase but I’m absolutely sure.” You said with confidence before your feelings boiled up and your eyes started to tear up.

“Hey hey, don’t start crying now! You know I can’t see you cry, boy.” He hugged you and held you in his arms, The way he said boy made you feel Butterfly’s in your stomach, it just felt so right to hear that. “Tell me son, what’s your name?” Your smile was genuine when you heard him say son. “Y/N, that’s my name.” He slowly ended the embrace and gave you a big smile, He was so proud of you for telling him. He doesn’t quiet understand it yet but he will make sure to learn and adapt to your situation. “Alright Y/N, I think it’s time for you to learn some important men stuff.” He chuckled and gave you a pat on the back.

When you first approached Castiel you worried about his judgement, since you did Love him a lot and didn’t want him to hate you. Your nervousness could be seen all over your body, Shaky hands, No eye contact, not standing still, these were all signs that cas knew way to well. „Is there something wrong?“ His soft voice echoed through your mind as you came back from your thoughts, You nodded and took a deep breath.

„Castiel, there is something that I need you to know. I‘ve been struggling with this for a long time now but I didn’t know if you would still accept me or if you even understand what I mean but-„ He stopped your ramble by Laying his hand on the side of your Face. „It’s okay, You don’t have to explain right away. Just tell me, there will never be something that will change my View of you.“ those words felt so good in your mind, He always knew how to calm you down when you were about to go loco.

„I‘m a Boy, cass. I want to be who I truely am, I don’t want to be The person you were introduced to.“ Cas tilted his head as if he was confused but then gave you the most genuine smile you‘ve ever saw. „Of course you are a boy, I knew that already. I‘ve been waiting for you to announce a new name, what will it be?“ You smiled and tears of joy rolled down your face, Cas used his thumb to rub away one of the tears. „It’s Y/N.“ he nodded approvingly and gave you a kiss on the forehead. „Welcome Home Y/N, I’ve been waiting for you.“ he opened his arms and you embraced him tightly. You never expected him to be this accepting but you hoped for it, He was way to important to you and you just didn’t want to loose what you two had.

If there was an Angel That you genuine liked then it was Balthazar, he might be a sarcastic and mean one but he was very fun and chill to hang out with. He never judged you not even once, You killed a lot of his brothers and sisters before but it was necessary most of the time. You‘ve felt like it couldn’t go wrong when you out yourself to him and well that feeling turned out to be right.

Just as you walked into his ‚Secret Hideout‘ aka a mansion somewhere in nowhere when He appeared in front of you smiling like he knows something that you don’t. „Look before you start, I know you don’t like surprises but-„ you stopped him by giving him a ‚what did you do‘ glare, He sighed and smiled again. „Look i know what you want to tell me, I may or may not have catched you practice your lines last night.“

He took your hands and gave them a squeeze „Y/N was it?“ this right there was the moment you realized you aren’t strong enough to stop your feelings from embarrassing you, your eyes started to tear up quickly. Tears of pure joy and relief ran down your face as Balthazar pulled out a tissue out of his pocket to give to you. „Don’t cry Darling, there is no need for that.“ after you wiped your tears away, He looked at you concerned. „There might be something that could help you.“ he snapped and a Binder appeared in his hand, he held it out to you and smiled. „This will make your everyday a little more comfier, but take it off after 8 hours max if not I will.“ He said serious before a chuckle left his mouth, You hugged him as a thanks and went to the bathroom to test your new binder out.

„Huh?“ you entered your motel room just to find A package on your table and you didn’t put it there before you left. „Hello?“ you shouted to make sure that no one was there and when there was no answer, you approached the package with care and tried to read a name but there was only a Small piece of paper on top. You picked the paper up and unfolded it just to read „Miss me?“ you were confused but then you heard wings move and before you knew it someone shouted „Surprise!“ which startled you into a fight position, you turned around just to relax after you saw the Archangels face.

„Hey baby, did you miss me?“ he said mockingly before taking your hand, His expression went from happy to serious. „Something is different, What happened to your Hair? And is that a Stubble?“ you haven’t seen Gabriel after his ‚Death‘ And before that you weren’t able to come out since you had other things that troubled you, you started your transition about 2 months afterwards and since then you‘ve been changing into your true self. „Gabe, there has happened so much. The only thing that matters is that I found my true self and I’m happy with that!“ you said in defense, you‘re so used to defending your choices against others but there was no need for it this time.

„Hey hey Pumpkin pie, no need to get defensive.“ he smirked as he placed his hands on your shoulders. „You might change but your feelings are the same, aren’t they?“ He said in a soft tone while giving you puppy eyes „Yes, They are. I‘m Y/N by the way.“ you said smiling, The trickster cupped your face in his hands and kissed you quick before letting go. „Y/N, this is how I greet my Boys.“ he laughed mockingly before throwing himself onto the bed „come on open the box, it’s a big surprise!“ You did what he asked for and we’re quite surprised that it was full of Food and goodies, he knew exactly how grateful you were even if you just let a „thanks“ out.

„Hello L/N, Nice to see you again.“ He said charming as ever, You stood in front of him with Teary eyes. „Hello Crowley, I want to make a deal.“ His expression changed into a serious one, he approached you to stand closer to your face. „What happened?“ He asked as he looked at your Black eye, You put your hand in front of your eye. „Nothing, it’s not important let’s just get this over with!“ you said demanding, He didn’t move at all while starring at you. „Alright, What is your wish?“ „I want to be a Men, Like beard and testosterone and everything!“ He raised his eyebrows in Surprise, he did all kind of jokes on you when he first met you like ‚Are you supposed to be a man?‘ ‚Oh look it’s my favorite boy‘ but he didn’t expect you to ask him that neither that you would be willing to make a deal with him for less then what your soul is worth. „A men? Listen here this is not happening okay? Your soul is worth so much more then To appear masculine for others.“ His voice was As low and gravely as ever „Tell me who did this to you, now!“ He put his hand against your cheek to hold your face in place, The worried and yet angry lokk on his face made you feel sad. "Look i can fight my own fights against others crowley, Just please help me with this one. i can´t fight this anymore. Everyday is getting harder and i´m just suffering more and more." You let out a sigh, You tried to get on hormone therapy in a legal way but they denied it after two appointments. " I Will make a Deal with you but you can keep your Soul for now." He said in a calming way that made you relax for once. "I don´t understand, Why would pass up this opportunity?" he gave you a soft smile "Because i want you to be happy, we will do this together alright? no going off alone anymore." you nodded and he came closer before you gave him the sealing kiss. Suddendly your body changed and everything felt so right, after you thought it stopped you walked to the nearest Mirror/Glass to see your true self standing infront of you, the boy that you´ve alway been. "So how about a new name, hm?" You turned around with happy tears running down your face "Y/N.. that´s my name.." You hugged him tightly "Alright Y/N, i´m happy you can finally be happy as yourself." and before you released him out of the hug you whispered a soft "Thank you.." it made the demons heart melt...

#supernatural crowley x reader #supernatural #supernatural x reader #x trans reader #lgbtqplus #dean x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam and dean #spn #castiel #castiel novak #baltazar #gabriel x reader #spn balthazar #spn gabriel #dean x trans reader #sam x trans rader #sam x male reader #dean x male reader #castiel x male reader #crowley x male reader #angst and fluff #angst and humor #spn fluff #dean winchester fluff #bobby singer #trans visibility

[trans-reader-fics]

Safety — fatherly!Castiel x trans!reader (he/him)

TW/CW: Transphobia, dysphoria, canon typical violence, swearing, mentions of s/icide, references to sh.

Summary: (y/n) ran away from his transphobic home and unknowingly stumbled into a djinn’s lair. Thankfully, the Winchesters and their angel were there to help him. 

--------------------------------------

(y/n) shoved his clothes into a worn out duffel bag. He couldn’t stay for any longer; this house was suffocating him, draining him of his will to live, and it became an undeniable fact that he was not welcome anymore. The people who raised him surrendered their title of parents by issuing him an ultimatum. He could either shove himself back into the closet, resigning himself to a suicidal fate, or get the fuck out of their life. So get the fuck out he would. 

He rummaged through every pocket he owned, scraping together as much spare change as possible. He had enough to buy a bus ticket out of town, far away from anyone who knew him. The prospect of nobody caring enough to look for him lingered in the back of his head, only strengthening his resolve to leave. He would not be missed. He would not be hurting anyone.

It would be cheaper to just off yourself. Really, it’s a huge waste to put all this effort in when there’s an easier way out. He entertained these thoughts for longer than he should have, dwelling on them as he walked out the door and began his new life. It was a long walk into the city.

By dusk, (y/n) was exhausted. He had been walking for hours, and in the distance, he saw a warehouse. In better circumstances, he would never consider it. But as it grew nearer, he realized just how heavy his body was, and how dearly he just wanted to collapse into bed.

The warehouse door was already open and (y/n) walked right in. He tiptoed deeper into the building, stepping over empty bottles and cigarette butts. Finding an isolated corner, he curled up against the wall and searched his bag for a blanket. “Damn it,” he grumbled, settling for covering his body in an oversized hoodie. Whispering voices kept him awake for a little while, but he drifted off to sleep, blaming the hisses on his exhaustion. It had been a long day, and he always did have an overactive imagination.

“(y/n)!” His mother called for him. “Wake up, you’ll be late for school!” He stretched and blinked the sleep out of his eyes, before promptly falling back into bed. He hears stomping up the stairs, but he’s not afraid. She pulled the blankets off of him, lovingly ruffling his hair. “Hey! Another late night?” she laughed, her voice tinkling like bells. “C’mon, breakfast is on the table. I’ll drive you, so you don’t have to catch the bus.” She pulled the curtains open, revealing the beginnings of a sunrise. He groaned, rolling out of bed and onto his feet. 

“I’m awake, I’m awake. Had a long night,” he yawned. “Looking for scholarships.” He began pulling on his clothes as soon as he stepped into the bathroom, tugging on a binder and black jeans. “Hey mom?” He popped his head out of the bathroom door, catching his mother right before she descended the flight of stairs. She smiled gently, turning to face him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hon. Now hurry up! Your food is getting cold.” He laughs before closing the bathroom door and putting the rest of his clothes on. He was so much more confident now that he was out of the closet. Everyone in his life was supportive, and a warmth radiated in his chest. He ran downstairs to eat his breakfast. He approached the kitchen, seeing his father sitting in the same place he always did. 

“Good morning son,” he smiled over his laptop, the clicking of the keys never ceasing. “You might be a little bit late for the bus.” He checks the little white clock hanging over the stove. 

“I’m driving him, honey.” His mother comes over and kisses her husband on the cheek. “Speaking of which,” she looks up at her son. “We gotta head out soon, okay?” She smiled, but it wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. “(y/n), o-” 

“-kay? Are you okay?” a deep voice asked. “Hey, can you hear me?” (y/n) groaned as someone placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Head hurts.” He grimaced as he tried to open his eyes. “Who are you? I was having such a nice dream.” 

“We,” the man paused, “We’re the Winchesters. You were kidnapped, and monsters found you. But it’s okay, you’re safe now. The monsters are,” the man paused, “dead, they’re dead.” (y/n) finally managed to open his eyes, and he looked around the room. It was even darker than before, but the building looked the same.

“Kidnapped?” He mumbled, still woozy. “That can’t be right, I’m in the same place. I fell asleep. I need to catch the bus out of here.” He felt for his jacket pocket, discovering that he no longer had a coat on, just a loose t-shirt. “Oh fuck. Where’s my coat?” He began to shift, but the man holding him kept him in place. “Hey, let go of me.” He tried to push him off, unsuccessfully. “Let go of me, where’s my fucking coat?” It had been a long time since he had worn only a short sleeved hoodie, although there were seemingly bigger issues at hand.

A tall man with long hair held up a jacket, his jacket, and fished through the pockets. He pulled out a knife, which he placed on a nearby table, and then found the bus schedule. “Uh, Dean?” The tall one looked at his...brother? and pointed at his ticket. “This bus left over 24 hours ago.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened and he bolted up, catching even Dean by surprise. “My bus left? I slept for over a day? What the hell is going on right now?” 

The tall one bolted over to the distressed teen. “Woah. Let’s start closer to the beginning. My name is Sam, Sam Winchester. That one is Dean, he’s my brother. What’s your name?”

(y/n) took a few deep breaths before answering. “My name’s (y/n). I wasn’t kidnapped.”

Dean looked at him, head tilted in confusion. “Where did that come from?” 

“You said I was kidnapped,” he grumbled. “Earlier, when I was lying over there. I wasn’t. I fell asleep in this warehouse. Not,” he paused, his voice trailing off as he thought. “Not over here, but it’s definitely the same place.”

Dean looked at his brother, then back at (y/n). “Okay, well then, where do you live? We’ll take you home, back to your family.”

(y/n) scoffed, his legs shaking as he walked over to his jacket. “Nope,” he slid the knife back into his pocket. “But if you wouldn’t mind, I need a ride into town.”

“(y/n),” Sam shot a pleading look in his direction. “It’s not safe, you’re a kid. Just let us take you home.”

“Look, I’ll spell it out for you. I was kicked out. I’m not welcome there anymore, and even if I was, I’m fucking done. I’m not going back.” He sighed, shrugging his coat on. “Sucks, but it’s what I’ve got.” 

Dean huffed in exhaustion. “Look, we’ll drive you home, explain to your folks that you almost died. If they still don’t want you, then we’ll drive you to the bus station and you’ll be on your merry way.” 

“Oh, please.” (y/n) rolled his eyes. “Skip the denial. Just drive me into town, and if you really feel that bad for me, I wouldn’t say no to a bagel.”

Dean stared at the kid and tapped at his phone, speed-dialing a number. “Cas,” he grumbles. “Sam and I need you. There’s a stubborn kid, and neither of us can talk any sense into her. Come do some angel shit or something.” Instantly, a man materialized in between them. 

“Woah,” (y/n) breathed out, “What the hell?” The angel grabbed his arm, and walked them into a different room. 

“You’re unhappy. Will you tell me why, or do I have to find it myself?” He stared straight at (y/n), his blue eyes barely blinking. 

“That’s blunt of you,” he laughed. “Look, I don’t feel like getting into it. Sure, do whatever.” The man reached over, pressing his hand against (y/n)’s forehead. 

Kicked out. Kicked out. Unloved. Die. Die. Die. Kill yourself. Die. Unwanted. He. He. He. HE. I want to go home. I don’t have a home. Please. Help me. Help me. Kill me. Fucking kill me.

He pulled his hand away. “You’re coming home with us. We have a,” the dark haired man paused. “We call it the bunker. You’ll be safe. I will make sure of that. They will understand.” He begins to walk away, still holding on to (y/n)’s arm.

“What’s your name?” He whispers. “And why are you helping me?”

“Castiel. My name is Castiel, and I am an angel.” He pulled the child back into the first room, where the brothers stood, waiting.

“Well?” Dean groaned, arms crossed. “Where does she live?” (y/n) flinched slightly, but Cas only stood up straighter.

“We’re taking him to the bunker.” With that, Cas led (y/n) out of the warehouse, and sat him in the backseat of the Impala, sliding in next to him. “I will not let anyone hurt you,” he whispered. “You’ll be safe with us. They will accept you. Now sleep.” 

(y/n) glanced at him, skepticism in his eyes. Cas saw this, and he slipped his trenchcoat off, draping it over the teenager’s body. 

“Thank you,” he whispered before dozing off, leaning into Cas’s side. 

He awoke to the slamming of car doors, and the faint noise of arguing. “We can’t keep the kid,” Dean shouted under his breath. “We aren’t parents, and if you haven’t noticed, we kind of have bigger things to deal with right now.”

“Dean.” The angel stated, opening the door to the backseat. “This is not a discussion. I can take care of him, and you were not the one to see inside his head.”

“So tell me,” he begged. “Make me understand.”

Tell him, (y/n) thought. It’s okay, Castiel. You can tell him. Almost as if he heard (y/n)’s thoughts, Cas replied.

“(y/n) is what humans call transgender. His parents were not pleased with this, and he is unable to return to where he used to live. I’m sure you understand that feeling.” He gently readjusted his jacket so that it covered more of (y/n)’s body, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Dean froze in his steps, his furrowed brows and clenched jaw betraying his rage. “We’re keeping him. Let’s get him inside.”

He sat up slowly, eyes still heavy with sleep. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ll be on my way tomorrow. I won’t be a bother.” Dean turned to look at him, and his face began to fall. 

“No need for that, kid. You’re staying. Besides, Cas would kick my ass if I let you leave.” He chuckled, while Cas let out a heavy sigh; (y/n) saw a hint of a smile cross his face as he did so.

“Rest, (y/n). We will talk more in the morning. For now, just rest.” Cas reached out and brushed a spare tuft of hair behind (y/n)’s ear. 

He woke in someone’s bed, in a tidy, barely lived in room, under blankets that smelled like cinnamon. As soon as he sat up, there were three knocks at the door. Dean walked in immediately after, and (y/n) could tell it was his room.

“Fuck,” (y/n) sighed, burying his head in his hands. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I stole your bed, didn’t I. Sorry, I should’ve taken the couch, I-”

“Hey, hey, kid it’s okay.” Dean smiled and sat on the side of the bed, next to his legs. “I offered, and besides, there’s plenty of rooms with beds in here. The bunker is huge.”

(y/n) opened his mouth to protest, but from the doorway, Cas cut him off. “We want to help you. Do you plan to keep fighting it?”

“I, um,” He took a deep breath. “I don’t trust favors. What do you want in return?”

“For you to try not to kill us.” Dean paused. “Sorry Cas. Wrong answer?”

“Wrong answer,” Cas confirmed, “But yes. Please don’t try to kill us. We want to help you, and you are welcome to stay with us. Indefinitely.”

(y/n) smiled. Something in Cas’s deadpan delivery made him trust the angel, and he started to get out of bed. “Thank you. All of you. I think...” he took a deep breath. “I think I’ll stay a while.”

#tw transphobia #cw transphobia #tw suicidal thoughts #tw dysphoria #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #supernatural x reader #supernatural x trans reader #x reader #x reader fanfiction #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel fanfiction #what the fuck is this honestly #ive had this in my drafts for so long #hurt comfort

[ssanovak]

Characters & Fandoms I write for;

I am willing to write pairing fics of a character x reader, or general scenario fics with reader inserts.

Reader will be male with he/him pronouns as a default, so please specify if you’d like a female or gender neutral reader!

I will write LGBTQ+ and straight readers & pairings, just let me know what kind of thing you want in your request! I will not write smut.

I am Autistic and have ADHD, I will happily write either of these into fics.

I will write mental health issues, I personally suffer from OCD, CPTSD, Depression, and have previously dealt with ED tendencies, so I can write those with relative ease, request other mental health stuff and I’ll give it a go if I can or let you know if I don’t feel able to write it.

Characters not on my list are probably either not there because I don’t feel I know the character well enough to write them or am not comfortable writing them as pairings, but it’s always worth checking just in case I forgot to add someone!

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner (Hotch)

Jason Gideon

David Rossi (Dave)

Jennifer Jareau (JJ)

Emily Prentiss

Derek Morgan

Penelope Garcia

NCIS

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Anthony DiNozzo Jr. (Tony)

Timothy McGee

Abby Sciuto

Jimmy Palmer

Ziva David

Ellie Bishop

Nick Torres

BBC Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes

John Watson

Mycroft Holmes

Greg Lestrade

James Moriarty (Jim)

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Castiel

Gabriel

Crowley

I will probably add more characters as I get further into shows I am watching or if I find a new fandom to obsess over! Have fun writing requests!

#criminal minds #ncis #sherlockbbc #supernatural #crimnal minds x reader #ncis x reader #sherlock bbc x reader #supernatural x reader #x trans male reader #x transmasc reader #x male reader #x reader #spencer reid #aaron hotch hotchner #emily prentiss #jethro gibbs #tony dinozzo #tim mcgee #sherlock bbc #dr watson #mycroft bbc #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #fanfic

[platonicfanfiction]

Supernatural

Your Mistake [Winchester!Reader] (F)

Hustler [Winchester!Reader] (F)

Breakfast Time

Shirts Worn [Trans Male!Reader]

Lucifer's First Son (M)

Of Cats and Angels [Winchester!Reader]

Long Lost Sister Masterlist

#platonic fanfiction #winchester!reader #winchester!sister #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #castiel x reader #destiel x reader #platonic x reader #male reader #trans male reader #non binary reader #x reader #supernatural x reader #spn fanfiction #spn x reader

[supernaturalscribe67]

Against the Grain

Words: 3,059

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Trans!FTM!Winchester!Reader [Platonic]

Warning(s): Fluff, Language (?), a brief mention of blood

Summary: Ever since the reader has come out to his brothers has transgender, they have been nothing but supportive. The only thing that Dean hasn't been supportive of is the reader's inconsistent facial hair growth. So, Dean comes up with a way to help him by teaching him how to shave.

A/N: I've officially hit over 30,000 words on my blog and I honestly have no idea how to feel about it...Feedback is greatly appreciated! Much love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Are suits always so itchy?

Granted, he didn’t know if he would feel the same if they had gotten his outfit from a retailer that specialized in men’s formalwear instead of the old Goodwill a couple of towns over, but they needed something quick and easy. It didn’t help that he wasn’t able to wash it between cases either, but he was thankful nonetheless. Sam and Dean had promised that they would take him to get fitted for a professional suit on their way back to the bunker. 

James Garrison would kindly pay, of course. 

When (Y/N) came out to his brothers as transgender, he didn’t know what kind of reaction he was expecting from them. All of the negativity that was brought upon them from early childhood had clouded his judgment on how they would respond to such dramatic news. He had kept it a secret from them for about three years as a result of the anxiety, already having trouble coming to terms with his new self-discovery. Alas, two years ago, when he had gathered up all of his courage and sat his brothers down to explain in grave detail what was going on inside of his head, they were nothing but supportive. 

It was an adjustment at first, with Dean having the hardest time with getting pronouns correct and slipping up on the name change, but (Y/N) could tell that he was doing his best, and that was all that mattered. He got better after a couple of months and had abandoned (Y/N)’s deadname and old pronouns completely in favor of his newly updated ones. (Y/N) could tell that Dean was proud of himself, and he was proud of him too. Sam, being the nerd that he is, wanted to learn more about transgenderism. He would ask his brother questions and scour the endless medical journals available online if (Y/N) couldn’t answer the ones that he had. He even went as far as to help (Y/N) find the perfect binder and get him set up with an appointment to start testosterone. Thanks to Sam, (Y/N) had been on testosterone for almost a year-and-a-half. 

With the use of testosterone came changes, changes that he wasn’t necessarily expecting. He was constantly starving, constantly horny, and hair was growing everywhere on his body. Everywhere. Even though he didn’t mind the hair growth in some places, one place that the hair seemed to be lacking in growth was on his face, the place where he had wanted it to grow the most. He had a couple of scraggly pieces here and there, most of the hair growth being on his sideburns and underneath his chin, none of the patches consistent in length. Still, every time he looked in the mirror, he couldn’t help but smile. He had finally started to feel like his true self. Like he was starting to morph into the person he was destined to be.

And he couldn’t be happier. 

(Y/N) emerged from the poorly lit motel bathroom, combing the sides of his hair with his fingertips. Sam and Dean stood in the center of the room, clad in their mock FBI uniforms. When they heard (Y/N) exit the bathroom, they turned their attention to him. It was the first time that he felt confident enough to dress as an agent on a case, and he was a little uncertain about his appearance. He wanted to make sure he looked professional enough to pass. It was a big change compared to when he only had to wear a blouse and pencil skirt. He didn’t miss those days. 

With his arms held out in a grandiose gesture, he gave a small smile. “What do you think? Do I look okay?” He asked with a tone that indicated his uncertainty. 

Sam and Dean eyed him, their gaze scanning from the top of his head to his shoes. Sam nodded. 

“Yeah, you look great,” he commented, a smirk curled up in the corner of his lips. 

Dean, on the other hand, furrowed his brows. “You look like a douchebag.” 

Sam slapped Dean’s shoulder. “Dude,” he hissed. 

“What?” He held his hands up. 

(Y/N) frowned and looked down at himself. “Why do I look like a douchebag?” He asked, his shoulders slouched to show his disappointment. 

“You don’t look like a douchebag,” Sam shook his head rapidly. 

“Yes, he does! It’s because of that little neck beard you have going on.” Dean gestured to his face. 

(Y/N) slowly ran his fingers through the hair under his chin, neck, and sides of his face. “What’s wrong with my facial hair?” His voice was quiet.

“(Y/N), don’t listen to him, there is nothing wrong-” Sam began. 

“Sam,” Dean interrupted before looking back at (Y/N). “Look, FBI agents need to be clean to make it more believable. You look like a kid who just got out of a nightlong session playing that…that…War of Worlds or whatever.” 

“World of Warcraft?” (Y/N) arched a brow. 

“Yeah, that. You gotta shave it.” 

“I don’t know how,” 

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but Sam was quick to interrupt. He was sending Dean the deadliest of glares. “Dean, we don’t have time for him to do that. He looks great. He doesn’t need to change anything. Let’s just go, and, if it makes you feel any better, we can say he’s a rookie.” 

Dean sighed. “Fine.” He mumbled before he turned back to (Y/N). “But when we get back, I’ll show you have to shave properly.” 

“Okay,” (Y/N) nodded. 

Dean and Sam then turned and made their way out of the motel. (Y/N) stopped for a moment and returned a hand to his face. He felt the patches of long hair caress his fingertips while the patches of stubble made his hand itch. He scowled.

“I’m not a rookie,” he mumbled to himself before he followed after his brothers. 

“Alright,” Dean grumbled as he pushed the stopper into the sink. He proceeded to fill the basin up with warm water. “Now, one thing that you need to know is that you never, under any circumstances, share razors. Lucky for you, I packed a spare one.” He smiled as he pulled a new razor out of his pocket, handing it off to (Y/N). 

(Y/N) glanced down at the razor. It was one of the cheap ones. One that you would find in a pack of ten or fifteen in a Walmart. The plastic was still hooked onto the side of the blade. (Y/N) took off the plastic bit and tossed it into the small trashcan in the corner of the room. 

“What happens if you share razors?” (Y/N) asked. 

“You can get an infection. You don’t know how clean someone else’s face is, and if you nick yourself, then you’ll be in a lot of pain. Trust me, Sammy and I learned a lot about that when we were younger.” He chuckled. “Okay, the first thing you want to do is get your face wet.” 

Dean set his razor to the side and dipped his hands into the warm water. He leaned his head downward, brought his cupped hand up to his face, and wet his jaw. When he pulled his hand away, droplets fell into the sink below. He then looked at (Y/N), who raised his brows before he followed suit. He dipped his hands into the water, lowered his head, and brought some water to his face. His facial hair clung to his jawline as water dripped from his chin. 

“Right, what I like to do now,” Dean reached down and picked up his razor. He looked in the mirror and tilted his head to the side so that he could fully see the right side of his face. “Is…make a mark on both of my sideburns where the hair meets the face.”

Dean reached the razor up and cut a small portion of his stubble near the hairline. It was only about an inch or two worth of hair. When he was done with the right side, he turned his head and did the same for the left side. He rinsed the razor in the water. 

“You got it?” He raised a brow. 

(Y/N) looked at himself in the mirror, turning his head from side to side. He furrowed his brows and hesitantly reached his razor up. He stopped before the razor could touch his face. “Where do I cut?” He asked timidly. 

Dean sat his razor down and turned to his brother. He looked in the mirror, into his eyes, before he looked back at the side of his head. “You’re gonna wanna cut right…” he trailed as he reached up and ran his finger along the side of his face, about a third of the way down his ear. “Here.” 

(Y/N) reached his hand up and allowed the razor to levitate above the spot Dean had pointed. “Here?” 

“Yeah, right there. And don’t be shy about it. You’ve got this.” 

(Y/N) glanced at Dean before giving a small nod. He then turned and looked in the mirror. He brought the razor to his face and made a small mark on his sideburns, the same as Dean had done with his. Once he was done with the first mark, he looked at his brother. Dean smiled softly at him, confirming that he had done it correctly. (Y/N) then tilted his head to the other side, repeating the process. When he was done, he rinsed his razor, just like Dean had, and looked towards him expectedly. 

“Good, good,” Dean nodded before he reached over to the corner of the sink. He picked up a can of shaving cream, popped the top off, and sprayed a dollop into his hands. He held out the can towards (Y/N), who held out one hand for him. Dean sprayed some of the shaving cream into his hand before he set it on the counter and placed the cap back on. “Now, you want to make sure to cover every part of your face where the hair grows. Just watch and do what I do.” 

(Y/N) gave a small nod and watched as Dean began to apply the shaving cream onto his face, starting with his right cheek before moving down his jawline and to the other. (Y/N) followed his movements exactly. The shaving cream felt different against his face, it was wet and cold, yet soft at the same time. He remembered times at the end of some school years, when he was younger, when the teacher would give them shaving cream on their desks to help clean the surfaces. He remembered drawing faces in the shaving cream, pictures of cartoon ghosts and cats. They proceeded to apply the shaving cream over their cupid’s bows, onto their chins, and their necks. When Dean was done, he rinsed his hand in the water, (Y/N) followed. 

“Alright, the moment of truth,” Dean smiled at him as he picked up his razor. “We’ll start with the face and then make our way down to the neck. Just follow my lead, okay? I’ll go slow.” 

“Okay,” (Y/N) nodded and picked up his razor. 

Both of them turned to face the mirror. (Y/N) stared at his reflection for a moment, a part of him noting how humorous he looked with the beard of shaving cream before his eyes shifted over to Dean. As Dean began to shave his face, (Y/N) copied his movements. Every time Dean rinsed his razor in the sink, (Y/N) did as well. Everywhere Dean put his razor, (Y/N) put his. 

It was a strange sensation, shaving. Since it was his first time, (Y/N) didn’t know how he felt about it. From the curl of his lip when he had to shave his cupid’s bow and chin, to the feeling of the shaving cream slowly running down his neck. It was new, but not disliked. It was easy enough, easier since he was following the live tutorial next to him. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander, though. Let his mind think back to the times when he was younger and watching from some random bathroom doorframe as Dean taught Sam to shave for the first time. Dean held the same expressions on his face back then when he taught Sam as now. A sort of proud, grown expression, giving (Y/N) the first taste of realization that Dean was the one who raised them, not their father. Fathers were supposed to teach their sons how to shave their faces for the first time, not the older brothers. It was almost as if Dean adapted the fatherly role in (Y/N) and Sam’s lives. (Y/N) would never forget that. 

(Y/N) hissed. “Dammit,” he mumbled as he pulled the razor away from his face. 

He looked in the mirror and could see a small, red circle appear on his left cheek. It had been the last strip of facial hair left. He had been doing so well up until then. 

Dean’s head turned towards him before he let out a chuckle. He placed his razor down on the sink and leaned down to snag a small piece of cheap toilet paper. He moved over to his brother and tilted his head so that he could see the nick. Gingerly, he placed the piece of toilet paper onto the red mark. It stuck instantly to (Y/N)’s face. 

“There we go,” Dean smirked and turned back to the sink. “Not bad on the face. One nick is pretty good for your first time. Now, onto the neck.” 

(Y/N) did the same for his neck as he had done for his face, glancing in the mirror at his reflection while, now and then, turning to study his brother’s movements. He shaved his neck without incident, and when he rinsed his razor for the last time in the basin, the water now clouded with a mixture of hair and shaving cream, he felt a sense of accomplishment. He felt proud of himself. When Dean set his razor down, so did (Y/N). They looked at their reflections and examined themselves. 

“And you're done,” Dean nodded. “All we have to do is rinse our faces,” Dean reached over, turned on the warm water from the tap, and cupped his hands to rinse off the rest of the shaving cream. Once Dean was finished, (Y/N) copied. “And we’re done.” Dean smiled at (Y/N) in the mirror. 

When (Y/N) looked at his freshly shaven face, he ran his fingers over the places where the hair had been. The skin was smooth, something that he was going to have to get used to again, and he looked younger, in his opinion. The corner of his lips curled downwards in a frown. 

“I look like a baby,” he mumbled. 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “No, you don’t. You look like a new man. Hey, facial hair grows back fast, and it’ll grow back a little more even this time. If you wanna keep it, I can show you how to shave around it when it does, to keep you looking clean and not like some homeless guy.” 

“Really?” (Y/N) raised his brows. 

“Of course. As long as you promise not to grow out a lumberjack beard or anything,” Dean dramatically shivered. 

(Y/N) rolled his eyes. “No promises,” he chuckled. 

“Oh!” Dean exclaimed. “Almost forgot. Aftershave!” 

“Aftershave?” 

“Yeah,” Dean reached over to the bottle that sat next to the shaving cream can. It was a small, green bottle of Brut. He splashed some into the palm of his hand before he put some in (Y/N)’s. He placed the bottle onto the counter and capped it. “It helps with those stupid razor burns and bumps.” 

(Y/N) nodded as he looked down at the liquid in his hand. The scent was strong, and he recognized it as something Dean smelled of often. He, once again, copied Dean’s movements as Dean began to massage the liquid into his face and onto his neck. When (Y/N) massaged it onto his left cheek, he felt his skin begin to burn when it ran into the small nick on his face. Dean smirked. 

“Burns, doesn’t it?” 

“Yeah, why the hell does it burn?” 

Dean shrugged. “Not too sure. You’ll get used to it. And once you stop cutting yourself while shaving, it won’t burn as bad.” 

(Y/N) grimaced and continued to rub it in until all he could smell was the Brut and his entire face had been covered. Dean lowered his hands and unplugged the sink. The clouded water began to drain. 

“There, now we’re officially done. What do you think?” 

(Y/N) shrugged. “Not bad. I could get used to it, but I look stupid with this tissue on my face.” 

“Oh, here,” Dean reached over and carefully took the wet paper off of his cut. “See? It’s like you didn’t even cut yourself.” 

“Wow…” (Y/N) turned his face back and forth, examining the spots where the hair used to be. 

“Now you can shave by yourself whenever you want. We just need to get you your own razors, and I can show you how to use an electric one when we get back to the bunker if you want.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest, his smile never faltering. 

An identical smile made its way onto (Y/N)’s lips as he looked over at Dean. “Thanks, Dean. You’re a great big brother,” he spoke quietly. 

Dean tilted his head down, narrowing his eyes. “What was that?” 

“I said ‘You’re a great big brother’.” He spoke a little louder that time.

“Come again?” Dean cupped one of his hands behind his ear. 

“You’re pushing it, Dean.” 

“Alright, alright.” Dean laughed as he reached over and wrapped an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders. (Y/N) placed his arms around Dean’s torso and hugged him tightly. “For the record, you’re the best little brother a guy could ask for. Just don’t tell Sam.” 

(Y/N) smiled even wider. “I won’t.” 

#supernatural #spn #spn x reader #supernatural scribe #supernatural imagine #dean winchester #sam winchester #male!reader #supernatural x reader #Brother!Reader #Winchester!Reader #Trans!Reader #FTM!Reader #Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural x Reader #SPN x Reader #Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester

[sunnyvelvet]

Telling Sam How You Both Got Married (Trans! Dean Winchester X F!Reader)

A/N: Hello everyone! This is the first small idea I had about this project that I think about 24/7 anymore. I want to start out with just some small ideas about Trans!Dean and his wife. I do hope to make this apart of a greater story that can be read separate or together. Consider this part one. This is my first time writing fiction in almost three years so I have zero idea what I am doing anymore.

WC: 459

Trigger Warnings: John Winchester being an asshole.

Reader's POV

Back seat of the Impala

All I could hear was the soft sounds of talking as I steered awake from my sleep. The car wasn't moving so Dean and I must have made it to Stanford. As my eyes adjusted to the dark I could see Dean talking to a tall man while the trunk was open. It must be his brother Sam. "I can't do this alone." "Yes, you can." I scuff at their conversation, don't really think your alone in this Dean. While John and I may have our differences, he was still Dean's father. I roll onto my right shoulder in hopes of going back asleep. Dean's vision becomes focused on me. "What? You got some chick shacked up in the backseat you forgot about." "No Sam, that's my wife."

Sam's POV

"So, let me get this straight. You both are married?" We were on our way to Jericho to figure out what had been killing men on a highway. Ever since we left Stanford I was dumb founded how my brother had found a wife in the short time I had been away. "Yeah, well. This kind of thing just happens Sammy." Dean looked over at me, "We met on a hunt and the rest is history." "What does dad think about this? Does he even know?" I looked behind me at (Y/N), my new found sister in law. She laughed at me, "He knows and does not approve of me. He says I distract him from the mission. " She moves to put her arms over Dean's shoulders as he drives. "But. that didn't stop us from getting hitched in Vegas." I looked at both of them in disbelief, "Vegas? Are you guys serious? How did you even get the license? I mean, Dean isn't even..." I trailed off, not wanting to say it but also wanting answers. "All you need is an ID that looks real, Sammy. Those people will believe it if I want them too." Dean smiled over at me. "Isn't that right, baby?" His hand went from the steering wheel to (Y/N)'s arm that was over his shoulder. "Yeah, we went down there to take out a vamp nest. We thought we could stick around for a little bit and next thing I know this one right here was sweettalking me into it. We even had the cheesy Elvis impersonator officiate us." I laughed, "Y'all really just went for it? That's great." "Yeah Sammy but Dad was madder than I had ever seen him before when we got back!" (Y/N) looked over at me, "That's only because we stayed an extra week and ignored his calls. When we finally met back up in Oklahoma I don't think John stopped lecturing Dean for two days."

#trans dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #trans dean winchester x reader #supernatural #x reader #sam and dean #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x plus size reader

[sam-winchesters-my-bf55]

Sam helping reader with his T shots:

A/n: I don't know a whole bunch about Testosterone shots, but im gonna do my best!

He's sappy. We all know this.

Definitely gets all emotional once your voice starts to deepen and stuff

Doesn't really like that the actual injection hurts you, but knows it's a necessary evil

Will be the first to go with you to any appointment, anything.

He's always mindful of the routine, and reminds you of it if you tend to be forgetful

Researches any and every thing there is to know about testosterone shots, good and bad.

Definitely info dumps onto you, he can't help it, he just wants you to know everything you possibly can.

Always puts a bandaid over the spot where you took the shot 🥹

Always always ALWAYS tells you how proud of you he is

Once you hit milestones (one month, one year, ect) he celebrates with you

He loves the fact that you've found yourself, and are starting to become happy in your own body.

Helps you keep all the stuff organized and sterile

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x trans!reader #sam winchester x male reader

[bitchybarbarianenthusiast]

12/06/23 - THE INTRO :)

Hi, my name's cherry/katt. Yes, katt is spelled that way.

This is a sub-blog i created in lieu of just having another platform to spew my girly little wisdom on.

At the time of this post i am 18 years old. And my dad is dead. One has no relevance to the other i just like pointing that out so people don't get disappointed when they find out that i'm actually kind of disturbing.

If we're being completely honest here, i'm just a weird girl who happens to be hot.

That being said, I'm in a lot of fandoms. This blog was created as a ted talk of sorts. Everything from what current characters i stan to any random piece of thinking i have while stoned. [This blog is 420 friendly, let's talk about it!]

I will try and post daily but there's no promises that i won't be able to keep.

Alright, that'll be all for this post!

Lukewarm regards,

xoxo - Cherry <3

#random dialogue prompts #dean winchester #castiel #sam and dean #dean is bi #sam winchester #supernatural #jack kline #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley #team free will #spn crack #the empty #kevin tran #dean x you #dean x reader #bucky barnes #bucky smut #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #steve rogers #catws #iron man #irondeficiency #marvel #castiel winchester

[starlvenus]

Supernatural oneshots :p !!

Hii!! :3

Got into writing again :p and supernatural fics are what i want to write right now!! Im not the most experienced writer so some things may be out of character but i try my best!! Request some stories and ill probably eventually get to them :3 Ill write for almost every character (maybe not John Winchester :p) I write for men and women (ill write for readers with social anxiety as i deal with that as well :3)

If you want a specific gender for the reader just put it in your request (idm writing for any gender :3 + if there is no specified gender it will b gn :p) I will also write platonic stuff whenever its just friends or siblings, or even family stuff (like dad dean etc.)

For things that i wont write are any NSFW, no pregnancy, incest+stepcest, birth related stuff, i also wont write any three ways with the brothers (ex- sam x reader x dean), huge age gaps (1-5 years are fine, a bit iffy on anything else :3), no perverted readers or characters, and just basic gross stuff!!

But yeah anything but those things ill basically write anything!! A sam x reader is currently in the works :3 soo there will be something coming out soon :p

#supernatural #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #fem reader #male reader #x reader #gn reader #bobby singer #mary winchester #john winchester #rowena macleod #crowley #castiel #bela talbot #meg masters #jody mills #kevin tran #kevin tran x reader #jack kline #supernatural x reader #supernatural fanfiction