#Stop Being Weird About Intersex People | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spiderfreedom · 8 months

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not gonna effortpost about this today because I gotta get work done but real short

I notice this argument being used all the time: "you can't make a definition of 'woman' that does not exclude some people that we call women. therefore, the only good definition for 'women' that includes all people we call woman is 'people who identify as woman.'"

and the thing is, philosophically, "you can't make a definition of {thing} that does not exclude some examples we also call {thing}" is something that applies to almost every category! it's literally a whole philosophical problem of "what is the definition of a chair?" didn't we have a whole meme about how nobody can even agree on what a sandwich is?

it's not something unique to women, tables, horses, sandwiches, salads, or anything else. it is a problem of language itself.

you can apply the exact same argument to other categories: "how do you define 'blackness' without excluding some people we call 'black'?" if you're american, maybe you will use the one-drop rule, in which case halsey is black and anyone who had a single black ancestor four generations ago. but is that actually how we use the word black? does that capture something meaningful about being black in america? how about being black in the world?

let's go further: "how do you define 'transgender' without excluding some people we call 'transgender'?" within the transgender community, there is no real agreement on what it means to be transgender! beyond a vague sense of "identifying as the gender society assigned to you", but even that can be challenged. if a cis (female) woman takes testosterone, starts hanging around trans women, calling herself a trans woman, is confused for a trans woman by the people that she talks to, experiences oppression on the basis of being perceived as a trans woman... can she be considered a trans woman, despite being female?

ultimately "how do you define things" is a philosophy of language question more than anything else. perfect definitions that encapsulate sets neatly do not exist, because the terms we use are socially contingent. when people came up with the word 'table', they didn't also create a logically rigorous definition for it. they just said 'well, this thing here is a table.' and then people argue about the edge cases. because also, nobody actually agrees on the members of sets of every single word!! just like how we all have different ideas of what is and isn't a sandwich!

that's the other thing, people already disagree about what words refer to. someone who has the 5ARD intersex condition has testes but may be raised and socialized as girl because their parents think their genitals kinda look like a vulva. is this person a 'girl/woman'? people are not sure... which makes sense... because it is an edge case. is a stool a chair? is a hotdog a sandwich? is an open sandwich a sandwich? the further you get from the 'prototype', the more people are going to be disagree.

so the entire question 'what is a woman' is just an exercise in confusing philosophy of language framed as saying something very meaningful about the social category of woman. it is not! it is a problem of language that we cannot define 'woman' or 'chair' or 'salad' or 'horse' or 'gamer' in a rigorous way. it is nothing inherent to women, chairs, salads, horses, or gamers.

(but what about science?) good question, what about science? science tries to operate differently from the way laypeople talk about things. scientists take common words, like 'energy', and give them different, more rigorous definitions in order to try to figure something out about the world. for laypeople, 'energy' is something vague and diffuse. for physicists, 'energy' is the force that causes things to move, and its behavior is described by certain mathematical models.

similarly, laypeople may take 'woman' to mean 'a person with breasts and vulva/vagina', but a biologist may have a more rigorous definition of 'female': 'producing large gametes.' this is useful because it helps us see commonalities between creatures that may look really different, like flowers, bedbugs, asparaguses, cats, and humans - all very different creatures where sex looks different, but still have a distinction between 'producing large gametes' and 'producing small gametes' - there's no intermediate gamete. biologists have a different word for what people/animals look like, and that is 'phenotype.' when a parent looks at a child with 5ARD condition, they see the child has no visible penis and thus 'looks 'looks female.' a biologist would say that the child's sex is male (because they have the reproductive equipment to produce sperm, and none of the reproductive equipment to produce ova) but that their phenotype is ambiguous. sex is a binary variable, but human development is a long process where are a lot can happen, and so sexual phenotypes are not variable.

so already we're pretty far from the lay definition, because laypeople don't have the same idea of what sex is as scientists do, and don't distinguish between someone's sex and their appearance - for them, the sex is the appearance. who is right? it depends on what you want to do. scientists want to discover meaningful things about nature, and their definitions are far more useful than the layperson's for that purpose. which definitions are useful is also socially determined - we may feel sympathy for the child with 5ARD, told they were a girl their whole life, but who learns that they have testes. should we continue to treat this child as a girl/woman, or should we encourage them to view themselves as a boy/man? that is a social, cultural, legal argument, not a scientific one. the biological truth is the same regardless of the social, cultural, legal arguments, but there may be a compelling case to act differently. that's on us as humans to decide!

so yeah I'm just tired of hearing the same damn arguments over and over again. "what is a woman? is someone with CAIS a woman? is someone with 5ARD? what if we take a young non-intersex male and give them female hormones?" like this will never take us to where we want to go because it's a philosophy of language question disguised as a scientific one. the real question is, what are we talking about and which definitions will help us in that? if you believe that female people are exploited on the basis of their female bodily functions, then obviously you want to bring attention to that by using the word 'female'! if you want to focus on feminine socialization, then it may be useful to bring up cases of people who may not technically be female but were still raised as them, like Erika/Erik Schinegger, a male (possibly with 5ARD) who was raised as a girl and believed he was a girl for most of his youth.

trying to make a single catchy response to a question of what is 'x' is never going to satisfy everyone, because it cannot, because language is imperfect and real life is messy. scientists try to cut nature at the joints, but their cuts may not look like laypeople's! (and don't get me started on scientists disagreeing on what is a joint and what is not, metaphorically.)

and at its worst, when chasing an ironclad definition, you get bizarre answers that seem detached from reality, like saying 'people with CAIS condition are genotypically male and have underdeveloped testes, so we should treat them as males'. they may be reproductive males, but they have a female phenotype, and are raised as girls, and are literally unreceptive to testosterone - to treat them as 'men' on the basis of developmental or reproductive sex certainly seems to be missing something very important from the picture! see below: a person with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS):

does it really make sense to say this person is a man due to her having testes, which technically makes her reproductively male? is that capturing reality? or are you trying to force reality to fit into your definition because you're afraid that if you cannot create a perfect definition of 'woman', that we will never be able to talk about biology and female oppression?

tl;dr: questions like 'what is a woman' are designed to be time-wasters because they are not actually answerable because language sucks. argue for your operative definition, your context, and move on. and don't be afraid to change definitions based on the context... sometimes reproductive sex is relevant, sometimes phenotype is more important, sometimes socialization is more relevant. this is not weakness, it's recognizing that reality is not so rigid and sometimes you must use a different model to get the understanding you want.

#feminism #radical feminism #mypost #stop wasting your time... being dogmatic to any definition always results in weird outcomes #i don't think this weakens the radical feminist case at all #sometimes looking like a woman (have a female phenotype) is more relevant than one's reproductive sex #sometimes one's reproductive sex is quite important #5ARD people go through a normal male puberty for example and if they get a surgery they can also reproduce using their sperm #many 5ARD ppl identify as women bc of their socialization. and in some spaces that makes a lot of sense!#but in sports it is probably not fair for them to compete because they are male in reproductive sex and in phenotype.#recognizing complexity will not hurt us; it will make our case stronger and fuller and richer #justice for all requires dealing with the edge cases and not just defining them away #if you care about intersex women then you need to get used to thinking about this sorta thing #because it is very common for intersex kids to be raised as female despite being reproductively male #it's a space requiring nuance. care. compassion. and thoughtfulness.#philosophy of language

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bisexualseraphim · 5 months

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Do queer people who gatekeep sexualities and gender identities have nothing better to do like genuinely what is your problem. The whole point of the community is that gender and sexuality are more fuckity wuckity than man or woman, gay or straight and in almost 2024 we STILL have mfs going “nah that’s not a thing :/ you don’t belong in the community” unless they’re causing harm to others I seriously urge you to shut the fuck up. It is the easiest thing in the world to just say “hmm I don’t really understand that. But it’s their life and none of my business” and just move on with your life and let people live theirs. I do not give one iota of a fuck if someone identifies as a wolfgender they/them/bun/bunself AMAB transmasc who is only attracted to butches with curly hair and brown eyes IT DOES NOT AFFECT ME. I’m happy that they’ve found a way to express their identity that feels true to them and then I think about it no further. Like it takes active mental energy and emotion to get pressed over how someone expresses themselves and I don’t understand why you’d put yourself through that stress and then decide to be bitchy and make people feel like shit for being themselves. I’m seriously getting so tired of people in the community acting like it’s a fucking competition or you can only join if you meet X Y and Z criteria as if it’s some college mean girls sorority club. People are actively trying to take our rights away all the time and while this is happening we’re helping them by tearing our teeth into our own. Great

#I’ve just had enough of it exclusionists can fuck off I want nothing to do with you #You’re honestly no better than those LGB Without The T dickheads trying to kick people out for being ‘too weird’ or ‘not queer enough’#I’m always seeing people saying intersex people don’t belong or asexual people don’t belong. What the fuck is wrong with you #You think cishets just treat them normally once they explain who they are? I’d love to live in your world #Yeah they get treated totally fine in a world where ‘virgin’ is used as an insult and babies have forced genital surgery #[sarcasm]#Absolute dumbassery mental gymnastics Jesus Christ #You sound like edgy Conservatives with all the ‘X isn’t real it’s a new thing kids have made up’#That ‘weird’ gender or sexuality label you’ve just found out about? Has always been around #Always. You just have to look for it #And even if it is new WHO. FUCKING. CARES.#The last thing someone who’s just discovered themselves needs is more bigotry from the people who are meant to accept them #Unless they’re literally doing blackface or are an actual zoophile or some shit leave them the fuck alone they’re not hurting anyone #They’re not. I promise you being confused by something you don’t understand isn’t harm #Where’s that post about how discomfort and harm aren’t the same thing #Work on that shit.#Anyway I need to stop you all do my fucking head in #personal #vent #rant #queer discourse #queer politics #queer infighting #queerphobia #lgbtq #queer #trans #transphobia #acephobia #anti exclusionist

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makiruz · 2 years

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Oh god, now I’m cancelling the Cancelled Rowling stand-in. Well that’s what happens when you’re a bigot, even when you’re calling out something you’re gonna repeat the patterns

#the ink black heart #rants #fairly sure that having the woke mob getting mad at an intersex character over tarnsphobia is intersexist #the Worm is intersex #intersex people exist #in the real world a part of the Woke mob would be like 'the Worm is intersex this is intersex representation stop being weird about it'#but it's possible that the Worm is intersexist

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nehts · 2 years

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Cannot. cannot relate to so many things. hate it here

#It being my body . and my life #I don't know. It's weird reading a lot of trans life stories and experiences when I've had both sides of the coin throughout my life #Dmab originally and then at like. 8-12 years old. somewhere in there (can't fucking remember due to trauma) I was just .#Given the 'well. I'm raising you as my daughter now' treatment since my body developed weirdly due to the hormone issues #Most people assume that I'm a dude. which I'm happy about. I get introduced to people and people ask 'Oh-#this is your son?' and. my mother has to say no no no it's my DAUGHTER although she's happy to hear you make that mistake #But. I don't know man .#My voice is high enough that I can pass online for Cis Female if I try hard enough. IRL the assumption is that I'm a dude #But. if I wear a dress. I can maybe pass sometimes in that direction as well #It's just. odd. it's an odd feeling to not relate to anyone online about this.#Being intersex is. fucking weird. I was given a neutral enough name that even if I turned out as I am‚ my parents could. simply #Decide for me. later on in life.#So fucking strange though. there's no point for this but I just wanted to type a bit and think about it.#Also. ended up not being able to go outside because it fucking RAINED!!!! ALL NIGHT #I kept waiting for it to stop. it did not. so I guess tomorrow if I'm lucky. It won't be 100% full but. I'll take 94%

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asfateentertwines · 9 months

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Sully kid childhood headcanons

❤️ Spider and Kiri had been dealing with the seizures for years without knowing what they were - they started when the sky people returned and normally were very small or more akin to falling asleep than anything - essentially the scene where Spider sits over her at the start of the movie

❤️ They dealt with it quietly thinking it was more of Kiri being blessed/weird than a medical concern - Spider almost threw up when he found out it was medical and she could have died

❤️ Spider has a lot of tiny immunities and adaptations on Pandora - some of them are small and almost unnoticeable like allergy adaptions or food tolerances and others almost seem like super powers, like him not being killed by wildlife immediately (something they sort of blame as him being attached to Kiri for most of their childhoods) or his heat resistance (aka how this mostly white ass child has his skin in tact)

❤️ Na'vi don't really have periods so the first period for all of the AFAB kids was ROUGH

❤️ Trans! Spider was first and they thought he was actively dying ,,, like homie wears a loincloth it was bad

❤️ Kiri was ten times worse cause Na'vi are intersex and they were sort of betting on that overriding the human half but then she woke up cramping

❤️ Neytiri damn near killed Jake for not explaining them to her (to be fair, he tried. She thought it was barbaric and something only Spider would deal with and promptly blocked it from her memory)

❤️ Tbh Jake had no idea if he had sons or daughters until their first communions with their parents - it wasn't until joining ques that he really understood how Na'vi understand gender

❤️ Norm taught Spider than Paz was a hero - he didn't find out she was on the enemy side until he was almost 14. Lo'ak almost punched him for it

❤️ Lo'ak was the kid to ALMOST break a bone every other day

❤️ Lo'ak somehow never actually got hurt but Neteyam got hurt every single time trying to stop him

❤️ it's how come Neteyam had the pain tolerance to keep swimming

❤️ Kiri brought something home on a regular basis and had puppy eyes that got Jake and Neteyam to do almost anything - Neytiri was immune to all the puppy dog eyes her kids had...except Tuks. Tuk clocked her with just a hint of a pout

❤️ Kiri would take home anything she found - sometimes for good reason and sometimes because she decided it was her best friend

❤️ Jake likes to tease that Spider was one of such finds, it hurts when they're little but he wears it like a badge of pride when he feels comfortable in his place in the family

❤️ Neteyam has a gorgeous voice but any instrument he plays sounds like a dying wailing cow

❤️ Lo'ak is the opposite - if they could stop bickering, they would be a pretty good duet

❤️ Kiri, lovingly, sucks at both. She can do some spiritual songs for ceremony but it is with a ton of work to sound decent

❤️ Spider can sing well but the instruments are normally about as big as him...he does play a mad triangle when he makes one out of old lab equipment tho

❤️ Neteyam went through a mean phase that lasted approximately a week...he was snippy and just sort of bratty to everyone when he was like 11. It was fine until he made baby Tuk cry and Neytiri gave him the eye opening of a lifetime...he made being the best big brother ever his life goal after that

❤️ Spider and Lo'ak like to teach the ikran tricks - including some that probably should have gotten them both killed

❤️ Spider has a missing nick in his ear and scars on the back of his cheek from a tussle he and Lo'ak got into with the Syaksyuk near hometree - Lo'ak almost lost a couple fingers prying it off his face

❤️ They had to do all of Kiri's chores for a month and half to convince her to fix them up AND cover for them but Lo'ak had dirt on virtually everyone so he convinced her

❤️ Lo'ak was the village gossip - he was horrible at keeping secrets but he knew everything about everyone. His siblings had to censor him to keep him from getting his shit rocked

❤️ Neteyam had a line of kids with crushes on him and was oblivious to it. He was a very eligible bachelor to his age group and many wanted to court him through their teenage years with hopes of being his mate. He picked up on virtually none of it and was a bit of an accidental heartbreaker

❤️ Lo'ak, on the other hand, had a bit of the bad boy thing going until his mom dragged him across hometree by the ear. After that, his dorky side sort of overtook the bad boy look and he was sort of the town mischief maker. Very mixed reception from the older crowd but most of the younger were very fond of him

❤️ Kiri and Spider were always a package deal and the town weirdos. They had some of the youth fond of them but it was more of a distanced friendship than anything. They were mostly close with one another and their siblings.

❤️ "Monkey Boy" was because Jake said that raising the 5 of them was like herding monkeys but Spider was the only earthling so he was the only one who could be a monkey

❤️ Fun fact they do not understand what monkeys are

❤️ Tbr they don't understand a lot of earth things but they feel cool saying it

❤️ All of them are fluent but would probably sound very different with native speakers that hadn't just spent a decade on Pandora

❤️ Spider is BUILT but they all think he's puny cause he's so much smaller than Na'vi. On earth, he would be a pretty impressive athlete and it's literally just from this kid trying to survive

❤️ Lo'ak didn't tell anyone but he got into several fights protecting his siblings over the years. He also got Trudy to teach him to shoot long before Jake was aware...he always had a feeling that war wasn't over with

❤️ Lo'ak was always the best fighter, he just wasn't the best solider, Neteyam was. Jake just never realized the difference

❤️ Teamwork makes the dreamwork and these kids have nightmares

#spider socorro #avatar the way of water #spider soccoro sully #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo'ak sully #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #atwow #neteyam #kiri #avatar #jake sully #headcanons

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wizardpotions · 11 months

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not to start shit again but its shocking how much i have to see fucking teaboot on my dash after they kept having to be told to stop being weird about intersex people and blatantly using us as pawns for their own discourse.

#teaboot

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johannestevans · 4 months

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Woe, Boypussy Be Upon Ye: Transing Characters in Fanfic & Fanart

What’s the deal with envisioning your blorbos as transgender?

Originally published in Prism & Pen. Also on my Patreon.

It’s a meme, I made it. Here it is.

It’s been unbelievably positive for me as a trans dude, the change in approach to trans characters in fandom and subsequently in media in general, and I just wanted to write a bit about my experiences with the cultural shift and how positive it’s been for me personally.

What’s weird about people in fandom confidently, nay casually, writing characters as transgender and just having them be a regular dude with a pussy or a regular girl with a dick is that like… I remember when it wasn’t a thing.

Back in 2009, for example, which was a big time for fandom — Superwholock was running rampant, Star Trek (2009) had just gotten a new generation of fans into Trek — or even in 2012, when Les Misérables (2012) had dropped and gotten new people into Les Mis, or when the Hobbit had revamped a lot of interest in Tolkien’s books and the original Lord of the Rings films, not to mention The Hobbit itself, none of this even getting into the Marvel movies, like…

It just. It wasn’t a thing.

Sure, there were transgender characters around, characters that people wrote as trans, but I remember it so strongly as being very niche. It was deep, emotional work where people had to work to “justify” the emotional work they were doing, and even then, they couldn’t just say a character was trans and be chill about it. In order to justify a character being transgender, one had to put in mountains of evidence, or admit the trans perspective was a genderbend of sorts.

For me, I’m pretty sure the moment when things started to change was when I was reading and writing a lot of Loki-centred fanfiction, roundabout 2014–2017 — and the more permissive culture was very much borne of Loki being seen as an exception.

Loki, of the Marvel film and comics, is an alien secretly kidnapped and adopted into the Odinson family, and is known to change his body and appearance frequently, including changing his apparent gender or expression.

He was, in the comic canon (not to mention the original Norse mythologies) quite genderfluid, after all, so even if you didn’t refer to him as explicitly transgender, you could explore him as being some variety of genderfluid, nonbinary, or intersex — as an alien, as a Jötnar as opposed to being AEsir like Thor or Odin, as a god.

But then things changed a bit more.

Welcome to Night Vale, a weird narrative horror podcast, started in 2012, and one thing you could rely on from a lot of fanfics is that people might have weird or alien or otherwise not-not cisgender but not entirely cisgender genitals either. The Magnus Archives, also a narrative horror podcast, started in 2016, and when I got into the fandom in roundabout 2019, which is also when the new Good Omens TV show was due to release and there was a resurgence of interest in the book as well, I remember experiencing a sort of newfound thing where like…

I’d had a mental block around writing many trans characters, before — I could create my own characters who were trans, but a big part of me still felt like I wasn’t allowed to just make a canon character trans if they’d never been mentioned as being trans before or made explicitly trans.

What was it that stopped me?

My own dysphoria? Perhaps a little. Maybe some lacking self-confidence.

Most of all, it just felt as though I couldn’t justify it. I couldn’t justify seeing a cis man written by cis people in a cis show and saying, “Hey, no, he’s like me, actually” — even though I could easily do it about the same character being gay or Jewish or even chronically ill or disabled.

It was like there was a mental block inside me I just couldn’t get past.

I still had a lot of the old online cultural expectations stamped onto me, I think, even being an out trans man who knew many many other trans and intersex and nonbinary people of every gender imaginable in fandom.

I think for Welcome to Night Vale and then especially for The Magnus Archives, part of what made it so easy for people to write and envisage different characters as trans, the fact that there was such limited physical description of characters, the fact that you were attached to them by their voices alone, allowed people to envisage them in whatever way they liked.

In The Magnus Archives, most of the main characters are envisaged as trans in one way or another — Daisy Tonner particularly is explored with all flavours of butch dykey complexity, trans in whichever ways or directions are juiciest and most interesting. But for so many of the characters — from Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood to Sasha James and Tim Stoker to Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas to any of the other Entities — there is no end to the characters people will explore or envisage as trans or nonbinary or just straight-up outside of gender or gender-weird.

No one has to justify a period character being trans with no problems. Loads of people write Izzy Hands or Stede Bonnet or Edward Teach, as being trans in Our Flag Means Death alongside the canonic nonbinary character Jim Jimenez. Any and all characters, trans or otherwise, are invited to participate in ye olde top surgery performed by Roach, the ship’s surgeon, or somehow get hold of ye olde hormones in whatever handwavy way necessary, and it’s cool and fine.

And what’s wonderful for me is the way I see the current approach to trans characters gleefully and delightedly applied to fandoms that are years if not decades old.

I see people write House MD fanfic now where they just go, right from the beginning, yeah this or that character is trans, and they’ve always been trans, and it’s chill. What if James Wilson was trans? It’d rock, that’s what. What if Greg House was trans? Yeah, he’d probably do his own T-shots under the table.

People write Spock as trans now, or guys from M*A*S*H, or Jean Valjean.

What if in the X-Files Dana Scully and Fox Mulder were T4T? Makes complete sense, and also, the idea fucks absolutely. They’re already so lesbian vibes for each other, it fits perfectly.

I wrote a silly little Tumblr post a few weeks ago envisioning Morticia and Gomez Addams as T4T, and it blew up immediately — I think about how if I’d made that most a decade ago it would have been met with crickets, if not a bit of scorn, and not just from transphobes, but just people who like me at that time hadn’t been able to relax and have fun with it.

That’s the real crux of the matter, the impact a lot of fandom has made on me and the way that trans characterisation is approached, the hunger I have for trans characterisation now — it’s the idea of being trans as joyful and delightful, as inherently fun and sexy, but also just as being something every day and normal. A detail you can include as casually in your interpretation of a canon character as any other headcanon.

There’s a beautiful freedom in it, and I’m so grateful to have been able to learn from and grow because of other trans people paving the way with their confident headcanons and delving into trans ideas in their fic.

It’s done wonders for me everywhere — not just in my fanfic, but most of all in the original works I pen now, each one of them featuring trans character after trans character.

#musings #fandom #fandom culture

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theforesteldritch · 19 days

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I need to stop doomscrolling queer discourse on social media so much because I need to bite people over the fact that I had to read the words, and I quote: 'a woman with a weird medical condition is more palatable than a mentally ill failed male. This divide ultimately encourages many intersex people to fall back on transmisogyny' from someone being serious. Tell me you don't give a shit about the experiences of intersex people and are an intersexist piece of shit and go.

#moth rambles #intersex #intersexism #lgbtq

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butchdykekondraki · 3 months

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also get normal about intersex people in general. stop acting as if being intersex is just something sexual to gawk at and jerk off to. stop acting like being amab and having a pussy or being afab and having a dick is weird and funny to think about. like holy shit just be fucking normal about people for the love of god

#[ren]#ohhh my god. oh my god everyone get normal about intersex ppl please pleaaseee im so sick of weirdos. be normal Please god Be Normal

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murruspins · 2 months

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I’d love to stop talking about this topic, but sadly people don’t know how to respect intersex people. Here are some comments I have received when I mention being intersex, even just mentioning it slightly. Some comments bellow the cut are sexual, just for a warning.

(Context: a vent to do with having to always explain myself to strangers online)

I ran out of room for photos so I’ll write some

"What k1nks are you into? I mean with both parts you have to b k1nky"

"Can you still have kids tho?" "Oh so you’re not a real woman" (I’m transfem & enby, oh and I’m infertile. It’s one of my biggest insecurities)

"It’s an abnormality and shouldn’t be normalised stop talking about it"

"How do you have sex?"

"Do men really want you like that?"

"Ok but I’d never do someone if they had that.."

"What’s in your pants tho?"

"So you’re deformed?"

"Okay but how does it look, you know.. down there?"

"If you mention it online why can’t I ask about what’s in ur pants tho"

"I’d kill myself if I had to live life like that, I want kids" as if I don’t? I’d die for the ability to have kids.

"That doesn’t exist"

STOP asking or saying weird things to us.

#murru hisses 🐍 |#murru’s rants #digital diary #intersex #intersex awareness #intersex struggles #lgbtqia

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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Have you seen the people on Twitter making 50 thousand look Tweet threads about how being altersex “fetishizes” being intersex 😭 God forbid you don’t want a traditional transition

I haven't seen those specifically because I rarely use Twitter but I know what you're talking about lmao

For one it shouldn't matter whether or not someone wants to transition for a fetish. But also the way people think that "no one could possibly want non-traditional genitalia for Good and Pure reasons, it's a curse you most be born with" is good for intersex people. Hell intersex people CAN BE ALTERSEX, especially people who want to return to genitalia they had at birth that was changed against their will as infants. There absolutely are intersexist altersex people but to call an entire group fetishizers for simply having genital dysphoria/euphoria is so unhelpful to intersex people. Like there are far bigger issues than salmacians just existing (also, people can work on unlearning intersexism, whereas these people want salmacians to either stop existing/be dysphoric forever because of their discourse-poisoned idea of what "fetishization" means)

It's also fucked up because I know that a LOT of salmacians felt guilty for years for wanting a salmacians body because it is so heavily sexualized, and the only place they ever saw it was in porn. r/salmacian has a ton of posts from people saying "I thought I was a weird freak for wanting this & that it could only exist in hentai but now I realize it's actually normal and attainable". It's so deeply fucked up to shame people away from transition that could radically improve their life for some bullshit identity politic "activism".

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the idea that non-traditional genitalia is not only natural, but can be desirable to possess, is only good for intersex people. The idea that non-traditional genitalia can ONLY be for people who were born with it is just. stupid. It creates this vibe that it's like, a burden you must carry rather than something you can choose to have or keep because it's normal and can be just as nice as traditional genitalia. Intersex people and altersex people can and should be friends & allies.

#& this issue tends 2 focus on salmacians and less on like #agenital or xenogenital people #also I imagine there's overlap in terms of discrimination between intersex ppl w non-trad genitalia & post-op salmacians #so i don't see why we are seen as opposite sides when there are very clear reasons why our fights are intertwined #m.#ask box #salmacian

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homochadensistm · 2 months

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Sorry if this is weird, but you seem particularly approachable about questions and such, and I was kinda curious to ask.

I'm not Jewish, but I consider myself to be an ally and I'm consistently willing to call out BS from other non-Jews, especially lately.

But a number of times over the years, I've seen mixed opinions on whether any criticism of circumcision is inherently antisemitic or not, and I worry that my perspective makes me an unwelcome or ultimately shitty ally.

I have an unwavering principle that non-essential surgery or cosmetic surgeries shouldn't be done on babies, a belief that's rooted in my being intersex. I don't start the argument with people, or start criticizing if it's mentioned, and I certainly don't use it as a gotcha or push my point of view on others.

But if specifically asked, I'll say what I said above, that I don't believe in medically unnecessary procedures on babies much too young to consent.

Is this some deep set antisemitism I need to unpack or reconsider my ideology about before I can consider myself an ally at all?

I dont see how criticism of circumcision is antisemitic tbh, same way I dont see how western countries banning Kosher slaughter is antisemitic. I think the act is barbaric and cruel (applies to Kosher slaughter as well), and just because our ancestors saw the ancient Egyptians do it and thought Nice doesnt mean that we should continue mutilating kids in modernity. There are plenty other bronze age traditions we stopped practicing (stoning, slavery, using barrels of wine to check for virginity, etc) because theyre incompatible with modern liberal values, why should this be any different? I find that religious jews will view these topics as a personal attack on their values/lifestyle which would prompt accusations of antisemitism.

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wc-confessions · 2 months

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Warrior cats fandom stop being intersexist challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

Like holy SHIT some of you guys are weird about intersex people. Can’t even have a fucking non-binary headcanon without getting asked “ok but transfem or transmasc” like it’s some strict enforceable binary. Intersex people exist and we deserve to be able to exist without being forced into neater little boxes for the sake of dyadics.

And don’t even get me STARTED on when people automatically claim that all male tortie cats or all female ginger tabbies are transgender. You can definitely headcanon them that way, but please at least don’t dismiss intersex headcanons, too… headcanoning Redtail or Squirrelflight as intersex isn’t ‘trans erasure’. It’s just not. I’ve been seeing a bit of this shit floating around the fandom recently, and it’s just generally very upsetting to be around

#text #confession #warrior cats

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genderqueerdykes · 2 months

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I’m a short, plus size trans guy. I have a pretty hard time with masc clothing due to it not fitting right or at least not how I wish it did. Fem clothes usually fit how I want them to so I stick with them, plus skirts are fun and surprisingly help with the bottom dysphoria cause there’s no indent of where my dick should be like pants do, so I have 2 questions.

1: is it ok for me as a trans guy to still be upset when misgendered while wearing feminine clothing?

2: any advice on how to find masc clothes that fit properly on a fat and short guy?

hello there, thanks for taking the time to ask this! sorry for the delayed reply, but i hope you've been doing well in the mean time!

it is absolutely okay for you to be upset for being misgendered regardless of what clothing you're wearing; cisgender people get misgendered while wearing their preferred clothing, as well, many butch women get misgendered and called men when they are very much women who prefer to dress, act and look masculine. cisgender men often get misgendered if they choose to wear feminine clothing, or even men's clothing that's too "fruity". if cisgender people can get upset over this, you can too.

i feel like it's 200% impossible to know what a stranger's gender is just by looking at them and that as a society we would truly progress if we stopped assuming the genders of strangers by how they dress and avoid using gendered terms until that person reveals that information, if they so choose.

as for where to find clothing that would fit well, this one can be a bit tricky. i am tall and fat, i'm about 5' 8" and 280 lbs, so i unfortunately haven't much experience in the height department on that end, but i can tell you that wearing men's pants can be a bit tricky if you have wide hips. i have 48" hips and it can make wearing men's pants uncomfortable. if you haven't already, measure your hips (at their fullest point) and your inseam, which is the length from the crotch of your pants to the bottom of the pantleg. men's pants are sized by these two measurements, with the hip width being the first number and the inseam length being the second. my example for myself is that i wear 48x32 men's pants whenever i do buy them.

here's a guide on measuring your inseam:

here's a guide on men's clothing sizes (in both inches and centimeters) and how to measure yourself for different garments:

i will say that in the past i've thrifted most of my clothing. i'd like to be able to get to a place where i can buy myself some new clothes but up until this point most of my clothes have been thrifted. i will say if you live in a smaller area finding good clothing in plus sizes is a nightmare and you have my condolences. however i can suggest looking into men's fashion and seeing what styles you like to get an idea of what kinds of clothes you're looking for. before transitioning into buying clothes from the men's section you can always look to see if there are similar cuts of clothing (like cargo pants, for example) that are sold in the women's section for the sake of finding clothes that fit your proportions a little better at least until it's easier to figure out what size men's clothes fit you

most shirts and tops shouldn't be too much of an issue as they're made to be pretty loose fitting and don't conform to one's figure- if sleeves are too long they can be hemmed or rolled up, tails of shirts can be tucked into pants, etc. be very careful with button-up style shirts, these fit me so weird due to being intersex and i find that a lot of bigger people in general don't fit into them super well. they're not made for our proportions they just size up the shirts made for thin people and don't take into consideration how our bellies, chests and shoulders look.

button up shirts (when buttoned up, lol) can also make one's chest more prominent and create stress on the buttons that draw the eyes to the chest- i never button up these types of shirts and instead wear them open. this is a very masculine look, especially with a men's t-shirt underneath. this was my go-to in my early days of transition.

as for specific stores to look at, this will vary wildly depending on where you are in the world. i would recommend being highly cautious of buying mens' clothing from places online like Amazon, Temu, Wish, etc. that have a lot of China-based sellers, because often times you will see a 2XL+ garment and buy it thinking it will fit only to realize that that is Chinese sizing and therefore much smaller. shopping online for clothes while fat can be very hard, so i urge you to shop in person when possible

anyone have more concrete suggestions for this guy? i'm totally blanking on good suggestions of where to look for clothes.

good luck out there, stay safe, and take care of yourself. i hope you're able to find more clothing that helps you feel like yourself! thanks for stopping by

#asks #answers #transmasc #transmasculine #trans man #trans men #trans guy #wardrobe #clothing #clothes

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