#Sometimes these books just hit me

[prince-peachie]

The way it’s just fandom culture to fixate and ship two characters who show up for two seconds in a book

#honestly wouldn’t have it any other way #Jean falling asleep listening to Jeremy’s voice #but also because this Neil character is boring to him #he’s such a grumpy French man #but he loves his golden retriever boyfriend #jerejean #ultimate ship #sunshine and grumpy trope #it just hits different #aftg #all for the game #aftg headcanon #if you reshare this post it will make me melt #especially adding tags #I feel sometimes like my art #doesn’t really work in this fandom #and it’s discouraging #JUST RANTING DONT ACTUALLY READ #anyway here is softness #in a book that isn’t soft #oops

[tariah23]

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work #like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like #their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’ #rambling #I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running #referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh #zines make me feel so anxious man #it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward… #another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail #and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either… #they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing #their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks #we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks #it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk #they were the mod for the zine too #I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to #there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro #i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway #I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed #I #Guess it didn’t make its money back #or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book #I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free #if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free

[keyofjetwolf]

So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!

#another ticky in the new year box #gotten nowhere with the exercise part #but also doing cracker on the watching what I eat #thanks cold! #jet wolf sometimes reads too #in case anyone was wondering: #i enjoyed it #REALLY HIT SOME OF MY PERSONAL HORROR BUTTONS LOOKING AT YOU DOLLS #it felt in parts a little like a one or two step up christopher Pike #which I mean complimentary #in that it was very easy to read and I had a good time doing it #it was a little hand-holdy in places which grated on me a little #(yes I get what this is really all about I get it I promise) #and I think suffered in part from me having just come off of The Witch Elm #but it's absolutely competent and held my interest from start to finish #even legit creeped me out in places #and laughing to hacking in others #a good pulpy horror read #and I'll check out the author's other books when that's exactly what I'm in the mood for

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received

#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too #idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight #also something about it was weirdly validating #because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart #i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does #and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’ #when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain #was just #yeah #i don't even know actually #i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw #i'm not delusional lol #but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing #which is i think why i connect with it so much #even if i express that creativity differently #(and with less skill) #sorry i'm just rambling at this point #i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn #so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book #thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble #humbug #lulu posts

[hussyknee]

I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.

#i used to devour eight books a week up until I was about 22 #i couldn't fathom leaving anything in the house unread #then it's like my brain maxed out #coincided with my cptsd manifesting in crippling depression‚ triggering my bipolar #and hitting that mid-20s adhd wall where all your coping mechanisms fall apart #it's just been getting worse ever since #i can no longer read anything but fanfic #i was able to make a great headway through alexis hall's work but then I fell into a hyperfixation again so #bye bye everything else #i couldn't read comics even when I was back to hyperfixating on comics #i can't absorb things and when I do I can't hold them in my head #i used to be able to pull out entire passages of my favourite books from memory #now I can barely remember what happened in them #sometimes i wonder whether it even mattered that i used to be such a voracious reader #sure it gave me writing skills but i was never able to do much with them because of the complete mental and physical breakdown #and people young enough to be my kids write better than I ever did #i still have the thirst and hunger for knowledge and stories #but no capacity for it at all #books #reading #just adhd things #actually adhd #burnout #book collection #knee of huss

[adriles]

it is both legal and morally correct for me to keep hector’s bloated corpse in my tent and not allow him to have a real grave #objectivism

#book 22 #book 23 #book 24 #hector #greatest hits #someone tagged this with corpse not rotting cause gods were embarrassed by the whole thing and SO true bestie #we r not accurate here all the time tho. sometimes we r just funny. and or accurate about how death works #if u wanna be 100% with the source material tho interpret this as me saying hector was bloated when he died #he had ibs ❤️ #favorite #mainly for the tags but the post is funny too

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong'' #the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book #and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it #like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities #and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him #(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself) #and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series. #like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much'' #anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it #and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming #i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public'' #you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling #so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example #but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones #its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her. #and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder #wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships

[mooshorange]

Do you ever think about The Island of Dr Moreau? Do you ever think about the fact that Prendick never fully recovered from what happened to him? Do you ever think about how he gained a dislike for people, religion, and everything he used to know? Do you ever think about the way he withdrew from society and never fully reentered it due to the trauma of what happened? Do you ever think about the fact that he didn't just go back to normal or do some 'real men don't experience emotion' thing? Do you ever think about the fact that talking through what happened and how it affected him with someone else helped him feel better and recover a little, even if things could never be the same?

Yeah, me neither. I am also normal and definitely don't think about this all the time.

#J speaks #I am not remotely normal about this book #the ending really just hits me sometimes #especially considering when it was written #The Island of Dr. Moreau #H.G. Wells #The Island of Doctor Moreau #if you enjoy Victorian horror novels then I highly recommend this one #of those I've read it was the one that was most genuinely unsettling at points #though I also went into it almost entirely blind as people don't talk about it enough

[mimbl]

first chemo day (!!!!!) means actually using tumblr as a blogging platform like god never in his wildest dreams intended

using this as a benchmark for december when i’m hopefully better

joel miller did nothing wrong. see ya

#sometimes you just need to shout life events into the void to confirm that they are indeed happening #obligatory if anyone has recs for books/movies/shows/video games/etc then hit me up

[badolmen]

Thinking about grief as a wild bird caged in my chest. The first few hours weeks months years she beats her wings until they bleed and molted feathers fill my gut. She tires herself, cold and pathetic and small as she accepts captivity. She learns to swallow cut fruit instead of leaving it to rot and she learns to gnaw on the wooden toys instead of the bars. But she remembers. She was wild. And you never know what sight, what sound or scent carried on the breeze will remind her. She will fight for a freedom I cannot give her without carving my heart out of my chest. She tires herself. The cycle continues, increasingly infrequent but never gone, never forgotten, an undomesticated pet unsuitable for release.

#ra speaks #personal #poetry #grief #I guess?? idk man grief and me go way back #I’ve been going to funerals since I was 5 at an increasing frequency as I grow older #it’s just how life is in a big family with a short life expectancy #and sometimes it just hits me that the love I have for these people is trapped inside me with no recipient #a mailed letter returned to sender everytime I think of how my grandpa would love this book or how my uncle would be proud of my car #the box with a ball in it theory ya know? the box has a button in it that is grief. the ball starts large but grows smaller with time. #reducing the frequency at which the button is hit but never eliminating the possibility of it. #sorry took my anxiety meds last night they make me feel things™

[tarvastries]

it always hits me so hard when I remember lotr is about more than just war and death and hope. ultimately to me it’s about endings.

tolkien set this story in a world that is nearing its end; all the kings and warriors of old have passed on, and the golden ages are over. middle-earth, even after the victory over Sauron, is an old and gray world. its best days are in the past, and the thread of the future runs thin.

which is why I think the sense of loss is so great, even with a fairly happy ending. everything goes right, evil is destroyed, most of our friends get to go home…but the world is still dying. they’ve still lost loved ones. they have wounds and scars that will never heal. they can never go back to before.

one aspect of this that’s really getting to me right now is how bilbo, at the beginning of tfotr, intends to leave because of his time as the ring-bearer, and he’s giving everything to frodo. not just because he loves his nephew, but because he’s confident frodo will live a long and happy life in the shire and the baggins family will live on.

except, it doesn’t. even though frodo comes home and tries to live the life he used to want — might even still want — he can’t. and until he realizes he can’t, there’s no way for anyone to know that he is the last baggins who will ever live in bag end. frodo, once the single, shining hope of his family name, will be the last one.

it’s the end of an age. the end of a great and terrible story. and the end of a once-happy, once-innocent, once-many things family. just that one tiny ending makes it all a tragedy to me.

#idk why this is hitting me so hard rn but DANG #and yeah I know sam and rosie move in but again it’s Not The Same #and that’s kinda the point #I think it’s the same point tolkien makes in the hobbit by placing the company’s hope in thorin and his nephews and have them all fall #it’s the same point he made even with thorin and his father and grandfather #that sometimes families end out of the blue #they just do #it’s such a quiet end and hardly ever as dramatic as in these books #but it’s still a sad and painful thing to witness #a line and family and name just erased from existence #anywho #I’m sad now #lotr #sav speaks

[ickypuppi3]

billy hargrove & karen wheeler // put me in a movie - lana del rey

#billy hargrove #karen wheeler #cw grooming #cw abuse #<- #just to be safe #+ words #remember when karen canonically groomed billy and memorised his work schedule #you’re gonna look at me and tell me that i’m wrong? #i saw a post about karen that put me in a mood so #here we are #also i never clocked she was reading the same book in billy’s intro scene #in s3 #like i rewatched that scene today for this #and noticed it #hate that !! #this song + billy #also seventeen by ladytron #hits different #sometimes i have to not think too hard about him being 17 in the first scene #and how easily he did that #like he’d done it before #literally cannot get into all that rn #it’s too late #or early

[iknowplaces-tv]

CARA WARD AND WYLAN VAN ECK IM SCREAMING

#like ok i knew they were besties #but sometimes it just hits me #like two of my fav characters of my two fav books #what the fuck #you dont understand this is everything to me #jimena talks #agggtm #soc

[hopeheartfilia]

ive been switching lanes waaay too fast this week. Anyway having some mini identity crisises over how little i actually understood about nuclear fusion

#me #a shitpost can be blue #physics #i guess #tis about how i knew so little about quarks #like okay i know their names i like knew they had like charges that were colours #thatw e call colours. but id uh missed the part where that leads tp actually looking how they interact and also waves #this came from me helping my best friends little syster #with a presentation on nuclear energy #and so i was just like huh i know it works like that but like why exactly does that give off energy as a byproduct? #and then i. and then i had to sit there like. ah #its been so long since ive actually looked at physics #like interesting physics not explaining basic concepts to a kid for school #cuz i have. highschool physics at best at this point and #uh my grandfather was a phycisist and he was writhing a book on some theories when i was 2 to 3ish #and he was babysitting me and we stayed close till my early teen years #so ive actually always known just tht bit much more about particles specifically then my peers #idk its always been interesting to me #but now im coming over here like oh ive lost the #constant building of knowedge over the years that id gotten used to #because like we would cover some material in school i kinda new #id get curious and look a bunch of atuff up #but ive actively been forgetting physics for a few years now and it idk it hit #im just not keeping up with my sciences #which is a terrible blow to my little curious ass #like ive been keeping up with literary education and fashion history and phylosophy #but ive been missing the biology and physics and chemistry actually #but i dont tend to hyperfocus on theese topics so im jot sure how to keep at it #cuz i like learning stuff like that and sometimes ill go on binges of learning about curves #but idk ive been missing my dose of i guess the harder sciences part of it

[dallonwrites]

delighted to report that the notes app writing i did last night is 619 words yayyyy devastated to report that tonight my tummy hurts

#tomorrow i am going to do some Timelining (basically outlining but the visual of the timeline makes more sense to me) and if i feel good abt #things from that i may fuck around and try to write the 6k i need to hit the 30k i wanted to hit this month over 4 days #is that possible? who knows brooooo who knows #lover boy is litfic and doesnt have the kind of plot i can speed through but sometimes when i write it i just pull words out of my ass so #easy so it is possible. however i am just so scared of the scene im currently on #hence the wanting to look at the timeline for the book + this chapter so i can reground myself in everything #anyway heating pad + bed and maybe i will write more in the notes app LETS FIND OUT!

[ct-hardcase]

genuinely shocked at just how good escape from valo is as a MG book—I tend to be a bit more apprehensive about getting into these, but it was on hoopla and I'm trying to catch up on thr phase 3 before temptation of the force—but overall, this book has had really good pacing, tight character work, and age-appropriate action. I'd recommend this to any star wars young readers (or anyone, really).

#not to be contrarian but while I like a lot of YA/MG stuff in star wars alright and sometimes a lot #see: the cartoons / SotE #some of it doesn't quite resonate with me and that's totally fine seeing as I'm not the target demographic #so for this to be one of my favorite thr books not just of the MG/YA but all of them so far? yeah #also gavi is hitting me right in the feelings from when I was like 10-14 #star dorks