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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 5 days

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@megatraven (there’s some proofreading but forgive me if some stuff is off or doesn’t make sense exactly. It’s 3 AM rn and I really wanna post this lol)

EDIT: Also, I didn’t see that you answered my ask about Meg and Hercules, so I’m sorry that some info is off😭.

Hercules and MC Friendship AU part 1: Hercules’s Songs.

Okay my song breakdown is of 2 covers of a song called, “Love me, love me, love me,” and they’re English covers of a Japanese song. Here is the cover by LittleJayneyCakes and here’s the other by JubyPhonic, which I will be using the lyrics from. I’ll be switching back and forth (since some lyrics I like from one and then some I like from the other) to make them fit the theme, and I’ll make sure to say where they come from :).

Anyways, after looking at the comments, you learn that this isn’t a yandere song (tho it sounds a lot like it), and is instead about golden child syndrome. The syndrome where a child will do anything it takes to get love from their parent(s). It’s shown in the lyrics such as:

(JubyPhonic): “I’m doing so well have you heard? You see, you see, I’m such a good girl! Cute as a button you heard.”

But sometimes it edges into a dangerous line, where the person is getting hurt.

JubyPhonic: “You see, you see, so good this girl. In pain I scream you see?!”

And then I’ll switch the JayneyCakes’s lyrics at that some moment which is: “Hey, hey, lovely just like me. Aren’t I the cutest of all? Hey, hey, I’m good, aren’t I? If you say no I’ll cry!” The doubt and the NEED to KNOW if they’re doing good just hits and proves the point more.

And then Jubyphonic’s “Aishite” (which is the original Japanese line at this point) is instead, “Love me I say,” while JayneyCakes is “Love me I beg,” which I feel FITS SO GOOD.

Jubyphonic: “Love me I say, love me I say, love me I say, more and more! Love me I say, love me away! Until I’m not completely sane.” I used to hear this line as “Love me you say,” which is like the parent is telling the kid to love them, which I feel could also fit, but “love me I say,” is what she actually sings.

JayneyCakes: “Love me I beg! Love me I beg! Love me I beg! More and more! And love me I beg! Love me I BEG! Till we feel madness creeping in.” (Highly recommend listening so you can hear the pure emotion in her voice and how hard it hits)

Now, how does this fit with Hercules and MC? Well, I listen to this song and I hear Hercules so heavy in it. Like, you could say it fits Alex (since they do so much to please their mother and Olympus in general), but this song is to an even higher degree than what Alex does, just like Hercules is. I cannot remember too much about Hercules, but from what I remember the reason he’s taking the auras is because Zeus promised him he’d be able to become a full god (Top Tier I believe) if he collected a certain amount of Aura’s.

I see him going above and beyond because he even stole Meg’s who, I believe, was Hercules’s love at the time. He’s stealing auras and doing whatever it takes to please his father and other Olympians, and he’s definitely been doing this for years and years. Probably since he was born. We see how demigods are treated on Olympus, such as Zeus calling Deukalion’s human side a “weakness”, and we definitely know that belief plays a part in Hercules’ life and how he acts. I’m so certain he’s been told his human side is a weakness ALL his life, definitely in the old days. And I feel like a part of him hates him, which I imagine from these lyrics following the previous:

LittleJayneyCakes: “Its agony, it’s agony, this curse I bear. Undo it, undo it, hey!” But he’s gotten so used to it that he can’t be stopped. “It can’t be stopped now, no, AAAAH!!”

And Hercules has gotten so used to it that he doesn’t think twice about stealing the auras. Just like the lyrics from LittleJayneyCakes. He changes over time, growing older with each century and Millenia.

LittleJayneyCakes: “Time goes on, time goes on, changes come to your frame, but the collar stays the same.” He’s so used to it. “It’s agonizing now, but this is nothing new. People just, people just, they’re not enough!”

The “collar” its mentioning is metaphorical that is sung about in the beginning, only mentioned about finding a collar and tying it around their neck and it becoming tighter and “blinding” their vision (in both versions with diff lyrics). I didn’t mention it because I wanted to jump right into it, but the collar is metaphorical. To me, the collar symbolizes the control the parent has and how it’s grown tighter.

Zeus’s control on Hercules, and even other divine beings, has changed over time and definitely become harsher.

JubyPhonics (the same time where JayneyCakes was at): “Grow as you may like a sweet summers day, but this collar will stay just the same. I’m hurting and bleed, I need more to feed. Get people, more people the choker would scream!”

This is where I was secondly hit the most with Hercules thoughts, with both lyrics but here’s both that follow immediately after the previous (with JayneyCakes REALLY hitting the Hercules feeling):

JubyPhonic: “I am the best in my class they attest, I’m a girl far above all the rest. From better than Rose, to better than all you. People, oh people, look only at me!”

JayneyCakes: “I vow to not lose to anyone in my class, aren’t I such a lovely child? (Hey). From more than that child! To more than that child! Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round, marvel at me!”

He’s doing all this to get everyone to look at him and give him validation. To give him love and for him to PROVE himself through anything. No matter what it takes. Even if it means he loses things he cares for. I can’t remember too much about our guy Hercules (since I can’t bring myself to watch Hydra’s route all over again rn tho I love him) but I can bet he’s lost a lot in his life too, since he’s followed everyone rules and guidance, even when it is bad. These lyrics both hit me, so I can’t really choose. They’re both just SO great, at least in these lines:

Jubyphonic: “Meeting alone in the yard, from me to you confessing my heart. Was it a lie from the start? To say I love you from afar, as filthy a creature you are!”

JayneyCakes: “Behind the gymnasium, when I told you that I was in love. Wasn’t that kind of a lie? I love you so, so very much, even though I think that you’re TRASH!

This feels like the Olympians (especially Zeus) giving him attention and validation, but still letting him know his human side is a weakness. They love him, but see him as weak (filthy creature) and not worth it (trash).

And then the golden child syndrome shows heavily here. Especially in Juby’s side. He’s willing to do whatever it takes and it’s plainly stated.

Jubyphonic: “Love me I say, love me I say, love me I say, take what you want of me. Taking from me, taking from me! All that I have and all that I keep!” And then Olympus’s POV: “Screaming for more. You’re not enough! Screaming for more. I couldn’t give you up, Ah!”

And then a big part that I can’t really decide who it’s coming from, since I see these songs as a conversation almost. Is this Olympus apologizing to him? Or Hercules apologizing to who he’s hurt? And may hurt in the future?

Jubyphonic: “I am just so sorry!” And then it goes into the “Love me I say,” and such, BUT adds the part, “Love me away, until I’m not completely sane! Torturing me, strangling me, torturing me. More and more, more and more, ahh!!” I see this as the collar continuing to tighten and tighten, until:

“Aren’t I so happy today?”

BUT JayneyCakes side hurts too (this is the part where Juby is all “taking from me”): “Love me I beg, love me I beg, love me I beg, I’ll give you everything. But in return, but in return! I’ll make you share this hatred I bear. It’s not enough, YOU’RE not enough, just not enough! But I won’t let you go, ahhh!!! I’m sorry about this!” And then travels back into the “love me I beg” from the beginning, but instead of Juby’s final lyrics they say:

“Love me I beg! Till we feel madness creeping in. It’s agony- I won’t let go- it’s agony. Strangle me, strangle me, hey!!” And then the part that feels so Hercules to me, something I bet he wonders:

“Isn’t this happiness?”

And then she screams. She screams!!! JUST AH!! It hits so good. These lyrics feel like such a Hercules song because I believe he’s doing so much of his fathers bidding bc he wants to become a top tier god. The people who are seen as ‘important’ in Olympus and who have respect from everyone! They’re true gods, no matter what, and that’s how he can become worth it. It’s how he can be seen as ‘perfect’ in his eyes. He wants to see the validation and live, no matter the cost.

Even if it hurts him, terribly so, or others around him. He’ll give whatever it takes, even parts of himself, to Olympus to be seen as worth it. And he’s lived so long that the question, “Isn’t this happiness?” Feels like a genuine question he might ask. He’s lived like this for so long….does he even know any other way? Any other way to live? Or is this it? Taking from others to gain approval, is it the only thing he knows?

That’s my first part of this AU I have involving MC and Hercules friendship. I wanted to break down these 2 covers because these lyrics always hit me as Hercules, AND MC AS WELL!! I’ll explain the MC part later (so this might be a 3 part…..I’m not sure yet) and then how I see their friendship forming and the point of these posts.

I love you Meg!! And I hope I didn’t come off as too sympathetic to Hercules. He’s done some fucked up shit, but a part of me sees a little deeper into it, just like we do with Zeus and Eros and any other insufferable God lol. I hope you enjoy the breakdowns and I highly recommend listening to both! They’re so good and it’s the only way to really hear the emotion and see what I mean! Especially LittleJayneyCakes (she puts her whole life into this cover). If you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts, but if not then that’s okay!!

But I would love to hear your thoughts or rambles or screams (or even disagreements if you have some) about the breakdown and the beginning of my Hercules and MC friendship posts!! Love you💙💙.

#my writing #Astoria fates kiss #Astoria fates kiss Hercules #idk what else to tag this as since it isn’t a ship pairing just a friendship #so I’ll tag nothing lol

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distortedclouds · 1 year

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So, I've been wanting to say this for a while now xD (read: months and months).

You may (or may not) have wondered why someone (me lol) has been interacting with you so much on Tumblr all of a sudden, but there's a reason for it.

I've been a long time reader of all the work you've written, but you've never seen me in your AO3 comment section. I also never turned up in your dash here. It's been almost two years that I've been going through crippling depression and the usual other shitty things life throws at us for fun - and I had no energy or will to reopen any of my social media, nor login into my AO3 acc. I love nights but some were so dark and scary that I had severe bouts of insomnia. What did keep me sane however, was your writing. The first work I read was "I'm begging for you to take my hand" and I still remember how much comfort it brought me. Even your crack fics, you meant for them to be crack but I was restless to read them every night after awful days. More recently ofc, BW, ah god, I have so much to say, but that's for the comment section ofc.

In short, thank you so much for all your hard work and serious effort. For me when I look back on the last 1.5 years, I think of lots of unpleasant things but also, the good things and one of them is definitely your AO3 treasure trove. A light at the end of the tunnel for me. A warm blanket that tells me things will be okay. Always will be.

So thank you once again. Everything you've written (and continue to do so) brings me so much happiness and inspiration. Things are so much better for me these days and a big part of why I began to write again is because of you. I'm just waiting for my free time so I can spam you on AO3 haha xD So happy to see you on my dash too!

(ah none of this is sensitive or private info btw haha xD Feel free to post publicly. Everyone should know how beautiful your writing is!)

I've read this message like, half a dozen times already and I still don't know what so say. I know our time on Tumblr is relatively short, but it's always nice to see you on my dashboard, especially after reading your aruani fics and I'm honored to know that I inspired you to write

I'm sorry to hear about the hardships you were going through. Times like that feel like they could go on forever and that there's no light at the end of the tunnel. As much as I'd like to say "it be like that sometimes" I genuinely understand since both reading and writing fanfiction for the past 8ish years has been really healing for me, and I'm glad my work was of help for you. Especially with how feel about night, it can be the most devastating when something that we loved turns against us and becomes a place of fear and anxiety

On a more specific note, learning that "I'm begging for you to take my hand" meant so much to you is kind of making me reconsider and view it in a new light. It was my least favorite and everytime I'd get a Kudos on it and I'd internally scream 'nooooo not this one!! go to my other stuff!!' But yeah, it's already being elevated in my brains as I type this

I think in online fandoms we stress so much that fanfic is 100% self indulgent and that we write only for ourselves but choose to share with other. and while I wholly agree with that viewpoint, but I also think writing (which includes fanfic) is also meant to move others and elicit emotions in them, and I'm truly happy I could provide the same joy and comfort your fics provided for me

I look forward to reading your future works for as long as you're happy to create them and I'm honored to learn that you're anticipating more of mine <3

I promise I'll get around to updating BW soon!!

#ask #moonspirit #personal #writing

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no-moremusic · 2 years

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helloooo

(sorry i didn’t reply sooner, life went 📈📉📈)

thank you for nixing my worries ❤️ i tend to panic about things that i shouldn’t lol

a real high school graduate !!!! that’s exciting!! i hope your last little while of high school goes well/is tame

idk who hayley williams is, all i know is you post about her a lot and she’s pretty so that’s dope. how was it? (the podcast episode)

prom dress day!! i hope it’s wonderful babes! i bet you’ll look great !!

(side note: we have rainbow prom 🌈 at my school board and cishet people literally just aren’t allowed at it unless it’s as a plus one lmao)

EVERY DAY i look up if ofmd has been renewed yet. and EVERY DAY i am disappointed ☹️

also, i’ve noticed you’ve begun posting about wwdits (the movie) so i thought i’d tell you that there’s a show called “Wellington Paranormal” and it’s about the police of wellington, set in the wwdits universe. it’s funny as fuck

i refuse to accept the fact that it’s the finale on monday. i never know what to do on hiatus so that’s just. not. happening.

side side note: have you noticed there’s WAYYYY more advertisements on tumblr recently? like, just scrolling through your profile to find your responses i saw -at least- five advertisements???! silly tumblr

hi!! no worries! i hope all is well❤️

ofc i do the same thing a lot! but i have a lot of trust in this show LOL i’m hoping it all goes well tomorrow🤞i can’t believe s5 is already over… i seriously am gonna feel so lost every monday like WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE THIS!! tmr’s gonna blow me away tho i know it in my soul and then i can binge watch it all over again

i’m so jealous of ur rainbow prom omg. THAT SOUNDS SO FUN I HOPE U HAVE THE BEST TIME!! the song choices, the decor, ugh if it’s queer run u already know it’s gonna be good. and thank you ! can’t believe i’m graduating.. maybe i’ll make a tumblr joke on my cap👹

if ofmd doesn’t get renewed i’m actually diving into my evil era. this will be my villain origin story. there’s NO REASON why it shouldn’t get renewed. but ive been hearing that if there’s any day for it to happen it’s gonna be may 18th! apparently this week is when all of hbo negotiations for their renewals happen. fingers crossed!! bc if i have to go the rest of my life with only one season of edward teach i will literally go in. sane.

hayley williams is the loml LMAO she’s the lead singer of paramore and she has 2 solo albums. and she just started a podcast called “everything is emo” after ghosting social media for a while so i’m HYPE ASFFFF. paramore is also set to release music this year!! if u like pop punk i rlly recommend the band! (start with brand new eyes… personal fav😁) and if u like chill stuff i defo recommend her solo albums:)

OMG THERES MORE WWDITS. YESSSS

honestly i started the movie for taika and i stayed for, well, everything. just thinking about it makes me want to rewatch it. i’m SO gonna look into the show thank u so much!! i also know theres another show(?) for what we do in the shadows, if u haven’t watched it, it’s on my list as well lol

yes THERES SO MANY ADS NOW they want us to buy premium and i absolutely refuse. if there’s 1 thing i know about tumblr it’s that they go through phases, so hopefully they’ll get over this extreme adding LMAOA for now all we can do is pray we don’t get the candy crush ads. (sometimes i’ll have days where all i get is candy crush-so while i’m trying to scroll and listen to music i’ll get the ad and my music will stop and the candy crush noises will keep. coming. long after i’ve scrolled from the ad. UGH)

#wife in law anon #anon my beloved

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obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts · 3 years

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Headcanons for being in a poly relationship with Dia, Luci, and Barb?

Okay but this relationship could be absolute chaos. Just hear me out, okay? Lucifer is like, the definition of "I've got a stick up my ass", whilst Barbatos is lot more flirty and Diavolo tends to goof off when he's not taking care of serious matters. If you've got the "straight arrow" mindset then, well, it balances itself out. But if you're a little more laid back, then it's going to seriously be one of the most fun (and possibly tiring) relationships out there.

The end of my thoughts. Brain empty. Ki da short but her I'm having ANXIETY

It most likely starts off casually between you and Barbatos.

Like, you're not together. You're just acquaintances who work closely due to the circumstances you've been put in. So, you text a lot and call a lot too. It's all boring school related stuff (he's Diavolo's middle man, so of course you tell him about that junk). In an effort to keep yourself sane, the two of you make it fun by casually flirting.

("I have some papers for you MC" "Aw, you waited for me?" "All my life")

It sounds serious but it's really just casual fun.

When Diavolo catches on, he finds it to be absolutely hilarious.

This little interaction is adorable! And so entertaining. He kinda goes silent and watches everytime you two go off lol.

He'll make some attempts if his own too, of course, but it's kinda like a single dad getting back into the dating world lol. He's a little rusty and most of his lines are a bit outdated or incredibly cheesy.

But it's still cute, and you like to record his rather brazen attempts on Barbatos.

Lucifer is kinda unaware of this up until Diavolo starts blabbering about it at meetings.

You've never seen the demon so confused before when the the big redhead started casually calling saying you've gotten incredible marks in two classes, specifically the cheesy unofficial classes of "how to steal a demon's heart" and "seduction 101".

(Which, truth be told, you wouldn't actually be suprised if those were classes.)

Lucifer is absolutely taken aback by this development.

But he shouldn't be suprised. Really.

He's worked with Diavolo and Barbatos for years. He knows what they're like.

Yet this is a bit of a suprise.

You guys don't drag him in though. He doesn't seem interested and you know you'd feel a bit awkward playfully flirting with someone who doesn't flirt back.

Yet, one night in your group chat he joins in, and that kinda how everything comes together.

Barbatos and Lucifer are definitely the partners who kinda parent you and Diavolo.

Like you could be as serious as Lucifer is, but it's just kinda in their nature to oversee your wellbeing.

And whilst Diavolo does have dad energy, he's like the fun dad that never gives any punishments unless the situation absolutely calls for it, which basically makes him the second child.

At meetings Lucifer will desperately try to rule you and Dia in, often side eyeing Barb for help, but the time-warping demon tends to feed into the chaos rather then actually make any attempts.

At home you guys tend to be a fairly active group.

Barbatos cooks a lot, and Luke visits for baking lessons every week. You help out sometimes, but the dishes they cook can get a little extreme.

Dia tends to follow you everywhere, kinda hanging onto every action you make. He's like a stray puppy that's super muscley and also the heir of hell.

Lucifer usually comes over with work in hand, but you always get him to set it down so you guys can relax. He does admit it's nice not being around his brothers all the time.

Very stable and healthy overall.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me diavolo #obey me luficer #obey me barbatos

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 years

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Hi!! 💞 anon bc I just read ur post 🥺 thank you so much for your thoughts!! It kinda helped clear my head a bit as to what I want in general, and you kinda re-stated something I had told myself but forgotten a little bit? About just generally letting partners know “hey, I could be into some different things involving sex, but it could also be that I don’t want that, or I want something in between, idk!”

And that thought has always been so nice bc (1) it’ll let them know where my head is at, (2) let them know I’m kinda wary about sexual stuff in general and don’t wanna go all in, and (3) just to check in with each other :). I think that’s one of my favorite parts about reading kinkier stuff or dom/sub stuff, is that generally the harder the kinks and kinksters are the more boundaries and safewords are discussed. I’ve never talked to or seen someone in kink that wasn’t very aware of their own or their partners boundaries!

Also, I really appreciate your talk on queerness! I’m queer myself, so it was nice to kinda be seen in a “you’re not alone” light. It’s like I think one thing about my gender or my sexuality, but then the next minute my brains like “omg are you SURE” so it leads me to freak out a little sometimes 🙃 but yeah!! I really appreciated your words and sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that we can trust our brains to make good decisions more than it feels 😂 it’s taken me for a rollercoaster this week. And totally! Reading and experiencing are two different things, and while there are plenty of things I’d love to try with a partner I trust, there are equally plenty of things I’d never wanna do in real life with anyone lol. It’s also nice talking to someone who knows a bit more about kinks bc it reaffirms to me that you can wanna read about something really kinky without doing it, or that sometimes kinks don’t have to have some huge meaning, they can just be something you like or wanna try!! I’m not actively dating rn bc of Covid, but if I do start and I get into some kinky stuff, I’ll be sure to tell you how it goes lol! Thank you for all your advice, you’re so sweet and I really appreciate it!! Sometimes we just need our brains to calm down and breathe for a sec, ya know? 🥰

- grateful grateful 💞 anon

related to this

Hi again sweetheart! And yeah, of course, any time

Yeah, yeah it's always good to hear your thoughts rephrased and repeated back to you because sometimes you don't even register what you're saying if you're speaking about something you're in between on or unsure of. Yeah! Gotta communicate HARD sometimes lol.

Yeah, its the best part of kink, all those safewords and safe actions and boundaries and shit. To the point where, if you don't have all those things happening but you're still doing an activity that would qualify as a kink... that's not kink. That's something else. Kink is: safe 👏 sane 👏 and 👏 consensual 👏

Aw, yeah, I'm glad that part was still interesting lol. Oof yeah, self discovery and self knowledge are hard. That's what experimentation is for though! Yes yes you gotta trust your brain and your heart.

Mmm-hmm, yeah, I feel that. There's kinks that on paper and wonderful but in real life I'm meh over or just downright like, nope, not in real life.

Yeah! Exactly. The first step to kink is interest and then education. Sometimes education is reading books about kink, sure, but sometimes education is looking at fiction- not because it's correct in technique but because it can teach you what you like or don't like within the kink.

I will be happy to hear your experiences when/if they happen! Yeah, totally! And of course, it may not be good advice but I can type an awful lot, just look at the word counts on my fics 🤣

Exactly too, sometimes you need to stop thinking and breathe. Also, sometimes you gotta wack your brain with a rolled up news paper, like, no! Stop! That!

#asks #💞 anon #not fandom #personal #thoughts

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neocityarchive · 4 years

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blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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un0vian · 4 years

Note

Hear me out, SSS Miraculous Ladybug AU?

oh man you guys have no idea how much I’ve thought about an au like this before

The anon is new, but this has been in the inbox for a while, I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long! Also this kind of takes a general understanding of the show to make any sense!

This is just a HUGE bundle of ideas lmao I’m sorry it’s so disorganized. I’ll put some of the doodles up here and put in a read more for all of my bullet points (I wrote almost 2K words for this hhhh)

No Pokémon in this AU, and I’m not clever enough to shape the Miraculous after any of them lol.

I think Lance being the Guardian of the Miraculous fits the most.

Lyra becomes the Ladybug Miraculous holder the same way Marinette does, by showing and acting upon her compassion towards someone in need (not the same exact way, considering Lance isn’t nearly as old as Master Fu; she probably saves an old man and Lance notices).

In this AU’s origins I think it would make sense that Giovanni and Silver just moved to Goldenrod from Kanto. Giovanni (obviously) was a part of the crime-world, but found out about the Miraculous and their power, got ahold of the Cat and Butterfly Miraculous, learned of the Ladybug Miraculous’ general location, then decided moving was a good idea. They move into a place like the Agreste mansion (Silver thinks the move is just random btw).

I would say Giovanni holds Silver to high standards like Gabriel does for Adrien. Giovanni has Silver play the Violin and Cello (READ FVAWA!!!), and was probably homeschooled in Kanto. I’ll also say he probably has basic self defense training.

To blend in, Silver becomes enrolled at the same school that Lyra, Kris, and Ethan attend.

Lyra, Kris, and Ethan always try to yoink the back two tables, and every new seating chart the three play Rock Paper Scissors, loser sits alone. Lyra loses and ends up at the table next to the other two with an empty seat.

Their teacher, Professor Elm (I mean, who else would it be?? There’s Oak ofc but eh), introduces Silver to the class and has him sit with Lyra.

It’s obvious to Lyra that Silver is more socially reserved, but she introduces herself anyway.

Lyra moved from New Bark Town to Goldenrod City early in her childhood (Her and Ethan were childhood friends, Ethan moved to Goldenrod a little before Silver. Kris grew up in Goldenrod). I think it would be cool to keep the Bakery; Lyra’s mom would work there with Lyra helping out a lot.

I’m thinking Lyra could possibly be a model like Adrien, but wayyy on the DL in comparison. She has the right temperament for being in the spotlight (aka not being a flustered mess all the time), hence why she’s so well suited for the Miraculous.

Her passion is writing! Writing poems, speeches, music, all of it. And she enjoys public speaking. She’ll pull out a notebook (or just type on her phone like a sane person) whenever she gets a new idea.

Lyra sings and plays the synth. She plays songs she writes sometimes!

Tikki helps Lyra a lot with her worries about being a Superhero, and is great at giving suggestions and ideas of what Lyra should write if she has a block. Basically usual Tikki being great.

When the first Akuma appeared, Lyra found her Miraculous the same way Marinette did. The difference is when Tikki appeared she was less fearful, and learned about de-evilizing Akumas from the start.

When Ladybug showsed up to stop the Akuma there was no other support. She was able to defeat the Akuma, but damn, what a workout.

Hear me out here, what if there wasn’t an umbrella scene? I’d rather have their feelings for each other grow over time as Silver begins to doubt his father’s reasons for needing the Ladybug Miraculous and reflects on his actions. Besides, Lyra having feelings for Silver in the beginning would be kinda cringe 😬 (@Marinette in the PV smh)

The first Akuma was Giovanni’s way of testing the waters, and confirms that the Ladybug Miraculous is in Goldenrod. The night afterwards he approaches Silver with the Cat Miraculous. Giovanni explains that he needs the Ladybug Miraculous along with the Cat Miraculous to bring Silver’s mother back (which is total bullshit, all he wants is power), and offers him the Miraculous.

And about Silver’s mother; I know there’s a theory about Ariana being his mom, but in this AU (and in general, really) I HC his mother being kindhearted and not part of the mob ahah. (Also same sitch as Adrien’s mom in this AU)

Silver is apprehensive towards the “offer”, but can he really say no? And he does want to see his mom again. So he accepts. Giovanni barely hides the vile smirk on his face and throws in a “I’m proud of you, son” for good measure :/

From then on, Cat Noir shows up to battle Ladybug after an Akuma is de-evilized.

Plagg is somewhere between neutral and good. He’ll (not-so) subtly suggest that Silver should join Ladybug, and point out how much of a dick Giovanni is… but he won’t actively try to stop him because he can’t really do anything about it anyways. Plagg supposes he’ll just have to be patient. And he teases Silver about anything and everything, and his reactions are priceless.

Already having no partner to rely on during Akuma battles, Ladybug is most definitely tired out and has far too many close calls in her battles with Cat Noir. Lyra vents about this to Tikki, and worries about being unable to contact the guardian and request more help.

Lance realizes his mistake after a particularly nasty fight when a stroke of luck saves Ladybug from de-transforming. He introduces himself right after that fight, and apologizes for his oversight.

At this moment I don’t know if it would make more sense to introduce only one more Miraculous holder or two, and if they should be permanent or temporary. I’ll put down my bare-bones ideas for the Miraculous holders anyways.

Ethan - Fox Miraculous, Kris - Turtle Miraculous. I see Kris suiting the Turtle Miraculous because she waits for the right moment instead of jumping right in. I see her as being a great protector compared to Ethan.

Sheesh this is already super long any I haven’t really gotten to the SSS portion

Slow burn like the show, but in this case neither has a crush for a whiiiile. That part is quite different from the show, but the context is not the same.

Eventually there’s a semblance of a friendship between Lyra and Silver. They got close through sitting at the same table in class and working on different projects together. They also find they both share a love of music.

Anyways, Lyra gets really excited about their friendship and prattles on about it to Tikki.

“Wow, it almost sounds like you like him!”

“Whaaaaat? No!!! He’s just a friend, Tikki!” (Nice Adrien impression, Lyra 😃)

Along the way Silver begins questioning Giovanni’s reasons more and more, but it’s difficult for him to decide whether to keep fighting Ladybug or not because of all the things that could happen.

Eventually Plagg sits him down and is like:

“You don’t want to fight Ladybug.”

“Right.”

“You have a friend (Lyra) who has made it clear to you that you are welcome in their home, so you would have somewhere to stay if Gio-bitch kicks you out.”

“Right.”

“Ladybug may not trust you at first, but if you explain yourself she may begin to understand, and the act of switching sides paves the path to redemption.”

“Right.”

“So SWITCH SIDES.”

“OH. OKAY.”

Then there’s the ol’ switcheroo. During the worst Akuma yet (with Kris and Ethan helping as heroes), Cat Noir is able to get close to the Akuma and Cataclysms the Akumatized object. He flees immediately, thinking it better to show loyalty in small increments pffff

It’s a HUGE shocker to Giovanni. And Ladybug for that matter. Silver already packed a bag and had his violin ready to go, he grabs his things and doesn’t bother staying. He’s a little pissed Giovanni didn’t even try to stop him.

At this point Lyra and Silver like each other, but neither know how the other feels. Silver feels SO awkward about showing up at the Bakery with his stuff and almost turns around when Lyra’s mom (who had a bad vibe about Giovanni in the first place) spots him.

“Do you need a place to stay?”

“...No.”

“You’re lying. Tell me what happened.”

Silver reluctantly explains that he couldn’t stand staying there anymore, and that he had had enough of his father’s shit. So he left.

Lyra’s mom is a bit iffy on letting him stay. Without enough context it seems like Silver is just angry with Giovanni. Silver can tell she doesn’t understand and tries to explain the situation more.

“I… betrayed him. In a way. I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me around for a while.” “I understand. Feel free to stay the night, but you should talk to your father about whatever’s going on tomorrow. If he doesn’t let you back in you’re welcome to stay.”

Lyra shows up moments after, very confused. Her mom explains the gist to her and leaves them alone to talk.

Tikki overhears Silver explain the situation with a bit more detail and becomes suspicious. If Giovanni was Hawkmoth and Silver was Cat Noir, this situation would make a lot of sense. And Silver has the same hair color as Cat Noir (Lyra is obviously none the wiser because Adrien and Marinette be like that). Tikki doesn’t draw solid conclusions (it’s very easily just a coincidence) but she takes a mental note.

I think that’s where I’ll leave it. I’m already delving into so much plot skdjfbfb Anyways here’s a bunch of bonus drawings for sticking til the end!

#i did this on my laptop i dont know how it looks on mobile #my art #trainer lyra #rival silver #sss ml au #trainer kotone #headcanons #sss au #soulsilvershipping #BRUHHH #august 4 2020

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onp4012 · 3 years

Note

Okay, not PaC ideas, but...

Can you assemble some posts about mundane and more practical meanings of the 78-card tarot?

Let's say one asks about precise location or time or explicit physical attributes, maybe profession etc and I'm not talking about vague, way too generalized correspondences like the one given by astro signs and planets. I'm talking about something in the fashion of: which exact card or arcana combo indicate let's randomly say, a bar and which one is talkimg about a night club or a Michelin star restaurant or a golf club, a private club etc? Which card/s can indivate a cruise and which one are talking about Paris? Does the soulmate cooks for their significant other? And so on and so forth, I think you can understand somehow what I'm asking. Tarot is too fuzzy for every day, average person with sh*tty life that we all can relate with. Sure spiritual, deep meanings are welcomed and absolutely great and necessary, but let's try to use tarot a bit more practical. Think about it and see if you can come with something, I tried to do it myself for some time now but got away frustrated bc my experience with tarot is close to zero. That's why I dared to send you this ask, you seem experienced with tarot. Tysm anyway, I'm sending you lots of love 💜💜💜

You see, tarot never has a precise answer. The reader has. The cards only guide the reader. The reader’s job is to understand and make connections between the cards and the situation the one asking the question is in. It’s not like, for example, I got The Star card and the 6 of Cups so it’s something related to France. Tarot is not at all astrology. Different systems. Astrology is a pseudoscience, tarot is divination. Tarot is far more spiritual than astrology since astrology doesn’t have to do anything with spirituality.

I did make a post in which I literally explained the court cards (kings, queens, knights and pages) and gave personality types. I basically brought the cards to life. Here’s the post: court cards

I use a lot of intuition and I normally connect to the cards energetically. Let’s give a situation in which the one asking is asking “How Will stuff go with my mom?”, so I start shuffling, waiting for the cards to fall and once they fall I look at them and I’m like “ok fam, what’s happening” and then I see that the cards falling are:

Knight of Pentacles

Queen of Cups

Page of Swords

9 of Cups

10 of Swords

7 of Wands

Ok, we firstly analyze the images of the cards. Which theme dominates? (Masculine or feminine?). The theme is neither masculine nor feminine because we can see that the number of feminine cards(cups, pentacles) is equal to the number of masculine cards(swords, wands). That means the energy is very balanced. We look at the court cards if we have any. In this case, we have 3 court cards, we have the Queen of Cups, Page of Swords and the Knight of Pentacles.

Something’s odd, right? What could it be tho? Well, the queen of cups normally represents an emotional woman. It can represent a mother, an emotional person, a grandma, an aunt and so on. The reading is about this person’s mother so of course the cards are saying “this is the mother we are talking about, this woman right here is the subject of our conversation”. You connect to the asker’s energy and it gives you a very young vibe, maybe even childish and you look again at the cards. Oh wow, we have a Page and we know that the pages are the youngest and most inexperienced characters from the court cards. The asked is the page of swords, they are willing to learn a lot from you. They want to hear what you have to say. We see the 10 of swords and the 7 of wands and we see two men in difficult situation. Most likely the asker had a fight with their mom over something, over what? The “last” card we have is the Knight of Pentacles, the answer is money and the way the asker is managing their money. The queen of cups is worrying about the Page of Sword’s way of managing money and the page of swords is a very stubborn person. The mother could’ve not treated the asker right when they were a child and now the asker feels the urge to contact a psychic in order to understand their mother better.

Now, if I’d start making posts of how different card combinations work, I’d work at least 50 years to analyse, calculate and predict the fate of someone. If we take each card and pair it with another random card, we’ll have 6084 posts or analyses. Yeah, fine, it doesn’t sound so much but if we add all the possibilities and the situations the askers could get into we can as well multiply it to the number of possible situations and personality types each asker on earth has, which would make around 83780647 possibilities, which will make 509721456348 possibilities.

No sane tarot reader takes each cards meaning with a grain of salt because it wouldn’t make any sense.

Do not try to study tarot like it’s a science or something like that because it’s certainly not. The correct way of “doing tarot” is to mix 1% representing the cards with the 99% representing your own intuition. The reader is the one making the connections. Tarot is basically training your mind, that’s why you have to be quite intelligent to practice it accurately. I know things are very confusing at first and the cards can seem intimidating or mute but trust me, the cards never spoke, the higher self of the reader and the reader’s mind did, and when it did, it did accurately.

Btw, tarot isn’t a tool to entertain the reader and it cannot tell you how a normal day would happen, that’s why I don’t really like doing general readings. General readings don’t have a question so tarot can answer, they give too much freedom of interpretation, especially if the asker is known to be lazy lol. I mean, sure, sometimes the answer to those general readings are interesting but many other times they’re just boring.

So yeah, I didn’t really answer your question but I wrote a little. I tried doing that in the past but it never worked out since I didn’t know how tarot worked. It’s a lot based on experience.

Tell me what you think about it. Also since when you started doing tarot and how you got into it :D

👋🏻

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pyox1 · 4 years

Text

New Year - Cho Seungyoun

Hello! I’ve been wanting to write longer scenarios for a while now, and this is something kinda new for me so I hope you all enjoy it!! (I swear it gets better towards the end lol)

I hope the new year will only bring great things to each and everyone of you:))) Thank you all so much for supporting me and my works. It’s truly a dream come true.

Please give feedback if possible, I always love reading what you guys think:)

Genre : fluff, ANGSTY, (tinyyy bit suggestive)

Pairing : Seungyoun x reader

Word count : 1,5k

(there’s literally no correlation with the gif and this imagine pls don’t mind me askjdkds)

“(Y/n)?”

You didn’t even need to turn around to know who the owner of that voice was, since you could distinguish it apart from millions. Hearing the door being shut, steps made their way next to you. Through your flowing hair, you saw Seungyoun’s enticing figure stand against the metallic fence. He wasn’t looking at you, seemingly too engrossed into the city’s late night view.

“What brings you here? Tired of the crowd?” The way that it slipped out of your mouth could’ve made it seem like it was a reproach. The black haired boy snickered, before letting out a sigh. If you knew better it could have almost sounded as if he was sad.

“Yeah, you could say something like that.” Even with the door closed behind you, the loud music and obnoxious cheering were still very apparent. Nevertheless, you couldn’t expect anything else from a new year’s eve party. It was tradition that your friend Hangyul threw a huge party on new year’s eve, inviting each year more and more people to get shit faced. Usually, you wouldn’t mind getting blackout drunk with a couple strangers, but this year seemed different. It felt like something was missing. Maybe it was the fact that you were once again, alone, with no one to kiss when the clock strikes midnight. Or maybe it was the fact that the one you wanted to lock lips with was standing there next to you, unattainable.

“I was looking for you.” His eyes continued to gaze upon the illuminated buildings, while his voice sounded just as distant. It didn’t seem like he was waiting for an answer, so you stayed silent. He huffed, his hands shuffling through his hair. It was one of the signs that indicated that he wanted to say something, without knowing how to express it. Sometimes you felt like you knew him too well to only be his friend.

“You look gorgeous tonight, you know.” This time, his eyes were on you. Your words got stuck in your throat, taken aback. This wasn’t anything new. Seungyoun always knew what to say to get a reaction from you.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You giggled nervously, staring at the hem of your dress. He inched himself closer, enough so that you could feel his black jeans rub against your naked thighs. Your stomach tightened at the contact.

“Why not?” The smirk in his tone was evident. Seeing you all giddy for him drove him insane. If only he had the guts to tell you.

“You know you can’t.” You whispered, your small smile disappearing. For a second, he froze, realization washing over his pupils. “This is wrong Seungyoun.” It seemed like he understood. For a moment, you even thought that he was going to go back in.

“Then tell me,” His hand grazed over your lower back before setting itself on your hip, his touch sending shivers down your spine. “Why does it feel so right when we’re this close?”

“Seungyoun…” The way your cold body reacted to his warmth almost made you pass out. He nuzzled his face in your neck, his nose tickling your skin. Automatically, you pressed yourself closer, craving his touch. He laughed, the sound muffled by your skin. His hands massaged the flesh of your hips, enjoying the gasps that escaped your lips when he occasionally groped your bottom. Any sane thought had now left your mind. You were getting lost in the way his breath fanned over your ear, the way his arms held you tightly and the way he was slowly starting to grind against you. Everything felt surreal. It was only when his fingers made their way under your dress that you knew you couldn’t go all the way with this.

“Stop,” When pushing him away, he didn’t try to hold you back. Emotions taking over you, tears started to fog your vision. “Why are you doing this to me?” You didn’t need to explain yourself for him to understand you. He knew what you meant, and it pained him. Tears sliding down your rosy cheeks, Seungyoun’s felt his heart rip in half.

“Please (y/n)… Don’t cry.” He said, while stepping cautiously towards you. It was barely audible but you were almost sure that you had heard his voice crack. When he saw that you weren’t going to back away, he engulfed you in his arms. This time, there was nothing sexual about it. You let yourself sob into his chest, his hands caressing your hair at the same time. “Look at me (y/n),” His hands cupped your face, holding eye contact. “I can’t keep looking at you without knowing that you aren’t mine to hold onto every night. I want to be able to go on dates with you, to hold your hand whenever I want to. I want to be the reason you laugh out loud, not cry.” His thumb circled over your cheekbone.

“Don’t make me believe in something that’s impossible.” You croaked weakly.

“I swear, everything will get better. I’ll work things out, don’t you worry. I know the situation isn’t the best right now but I can’t stop myself from telling you how I truly feel about you.” A single tear ran down his eye.

The echoes of laughs and screams coming from the house suddenly grew louder. Quickly checking your phone, you noticed the time.

11:59

You could now hear a very clear countdown. It was almost as if the whole city was shouting at the same time, impatiently waiting for the new year.

“3,” Your thumb slipped over Seungyoun’s face, wiping away his tear.

“2,” He then smiled at you. The most heartbreaking smile you had ever seen.

“1,” The moon shining on him, he literally glowed of ethereal beauty. Your heart raced in your thoracic cage. You could’ve sworn that you felt Seungyoun’s heart beat faster against yours as well.

“Happy new year!” Just like that, his lips were on yours. His lips were soft and demanding. Passion and sadness mixed together, he wanted to show you just how much you meant to him. You could still taste the saltiness of his tears when his tongue passed over your bottom lip. Teeth clashing, the both of you were desperate, wanting to eternalize the moment for the longest time possible. Your hands reached up to his hair, pulling at his roots, eliciting a small moan from him. You savored everything you could; his touch, his taste, his scent. It was all so intoxicating.

When you finally pulled away, Seungyoun kissed your for head softly.

“Seungyoun, I love you.” The words had left your mouth before you could even process them.

“I-”

“Seungie?” All of the sudden, the warmth you previously felt around your body had faded into thin air. The boy before you cleared his throat, flattening his shirt. There, holding the balcony door open, stood a beautiful girl wearing one of the sexiest dresses you had ever seen.

“Sorry sweetie, I just needed some fresh air.” The small girl waved around a red cup, clearly already drunk. She frowned, staring at the both of you. Somewhere, you hoped that she’d noticed how flushed the both of you were. You wanted her to call him out, but that wouldn’t happen of course. That would be too good to be true.

“You didn’t even kiss me when the ball dropped” She whined. Seungyoun laughed bitterly, looking everywhere but your direction. Maybe he was relieved that she hadn’t noticed.

“I’ll make it up to you babe.”

“Come in now, you’re gonna catch a cold if you stay outside for so long. Plus, it’s getting kinda lonely in here.” She winked at him, biting her lip. He walked over to her, but not before shooting you an apologetic smile, which made you want to scoff. How dared he? He had just confessed his heart out to you, and now he was acting as if he was speaking to a stranger. Before he could close the door, he told you those words that you wished you hadn’t heard.

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

This is why you and Seungyoun will never be a thing. He has already made so many promises, all of them staying unfulfilled. You hated that you thought that tonight would’ve been different. You hated how he still gave you hope.

And above anything else, you hated how deeply in love you were with him.

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legilimensxsnape · 4 years

Text

How to stay sane when arguing with Snaters

1. Feel the energy before If the post is too hateful, makes you feel overwhelmed or you just feel a very bad energy coming from it... don’t read the comments. They’re going to be worse. If you really want to write something, come back later once you had time to feel better. It’ll allow you to control your emotions if (and when) a Snater will reply. Choose your battles, kid.

2. Feel the energy during Is the other person insulting/disrespecting you? Are you feeling okay? Is the other person just doesn’t want to understand anything? They’re like a wall? Do the comments have a bad energy (for example, hateful)? Don’t allow the other person to drain your energy. You can leave whenever you want. You say goodbye and that’s it. It’s not about winning the debate.

3. How is the other person? Are they disposed to receive your opinion/argument? Are they open-minded? Do they respect you? Are they willing to understand your point of view? If right from the beginning, they start saying Snape is a racist and incel piece of shit who deserves to die, you might just want to leave it. They’re just irremediable and it will be hopeless to try to have a debate with that kind of person. If they seem to be nice and not too hateful, you can counterargue. You’ll see how it goes. If they just say “I hate Snape.”, that person is not necessarily looking for a debate. No need to argue with them. If you want to know why, just ask them. Depending on the answers, you’ll need to judge if that person is opened to your counter-arguments and if you think you might change their mind on certain points.

4. You can’t change everyone’s opinions How many debates I’ve had? A lot. How many I’ve “won” (made the other person change their mind on Snape/James)? Too little. That’s why you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the effort.

5. Immature people with no knowledge of psychology That’s what I see the most in Snaters. They are young, have no experience in life and don’t know shit about psychology. Some are just not fully evolved yet to understand your point of view and won’t do anything to hear what you have to say. Psychology is complex and so is Snape. If the other person is too immature to grasp a psychology concept, life values/principles, anything that has to do with “the more experiences you have in life, the more you understand how it works”, don’t expect them to understand what you’re trying to say. How many times have I told Snaters that Snape called Lily a mudblood because he was being humilliated in front of the whole school and lashed out on her because he was losing control and tried to gain it back with the only way he found. That he didn’t mean it, that it’s what abuse does to some people, that he apologized and it was his worst memory ever. How many times have I been told that I was justifying what he told her?

6. Basic arguments He was obsessed with Lily, he was Neville’s worst fear, he insulted Hermione, he bullied kids, he almost killed TREVOR, etc. To be honest, they’re 90% of what a Snape lover has to deal with! They’re easy to answer and you might win some debates by changing their opinions because they’re mostly people who followed the pack and use those arguments without even understanding them. But once again, if they’re not opened to what you have to say... not worth it. Just say ciao.

7. They don’t make sense You say something, they understand something else, and now they distort what you said and created a whole new argument? Yeah, welcome to the club. You say that Snape was abused as a child and now they say you glorify child abuse. See what I mean? Here is an example of what happened to a friend recently:

Her: “Hagrid caused Dudley great trauma, a big fear of wizards and fat-shamed him. No, I don’t dislike Hagrid, but I hope you do, as he did awful things to students too.” Snater: “Sis are you really telling me that Hagrid is worse than Snape, the man who emotionally and physically abuses kids?” Obviously, my friend wanted to show that Hagrid also did bad stuff and the Snater distorts what they said and change her argument into “Hagrid is worse than Snape”. When they start to put words into your mouth, run! It happens frequentely. No fucking idea why they do that. I guess they don’t know how to debate.

Another weird thing they do: they change the subject. You’re talking about Snape’s greasy hair and how it might be caused by his depression, and the next thing you know is that Trevor almost got MURDERED by Snape. You’re like.. “the fuck? I was talking about hair?” They don’t follow the rules of a debate. You open an argument, you end an argument. They’re out there opening parentheses wherever they want and never coming back to what you said. Which means that 1: you never concluded the argument, 2: you already have another argument to answer, and 3: it means they are not paying attention to what you have to say. This often happens with another thing: the word-vomiting arguments. They say every goddamn arguments they can think of and that’s it, that’s the debate. It’s up to you if you want to counterargue or not.

8. Don’t put too much energy in this Not worth it.

9. Verify who posted the post If it’s a Snape hate account or a Marauders fan account... think about it.

10. Disrespectful snaters & bullies Don’t worry, it’s not personal. Something’s wrong in their head and that’s it. They’re hypocrites. Blocking is an option for those cases. Don’t play their game. Sometimes I like to act stupid when I see it’s a dead-end.

11. They want to make you feel bad Here’s a comment from the previous Snaters, talking to my friend after her ending the conversation: Snater: “byee (kisses and heart emojis) at least the convo ended w me knowing im not a toxic person apologist (in love emoji)” So yeah. If you’re called a racist, an abuser, a KKK member, a Nazi, a whatever-you-want apologist (for example, Sn*pe apologist (which is the worst, in my opinion))... Don’t worry. They like to say that to everyone who likes a dickhead like Snape. I doubt they understand the meaning of those words. They’re hating on Snape for saying mudblood but hey ho, it’s okay to bully and insult real people, uh? Just saying that we all know we aren’t bad people for loving Snape.

Last point: No every Snater is like that! Thanks to them. Don’t assume every Snater you encounter is hateful. But from my own experience... a lot of them are lol! Isn’t it surprising? They hate Snape for being the way he is yet they are very hateful person themselves. Just be respectful yourself and block them if it’s too much for you. Feel your emotions, understand them and control them! ♥ Don’t put too much energy in defending Snape. He’s a fictional character after all and your mental health is way more important.

Also, keep going, Snape lovers! The vast majority of you are open-minded, kind and smart. That’s why you gotta spread kindness. Love you and have a good debate x

#severus snape #how to fight snaters #snape #pro snape #snape love #halfblood prince

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yutaya · 3 years

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Iron Fist Rewatch 1x05: Under Leaf Pluck Lotus

I like this shot. The way the women are shown reflected in the wall first. Also lol quintessential synchronized female power strut

Why wait until you’re IN the office to move your wedding ring?? Or to unbutton your shirt? Well, that one I can understand - let all the people who see you heading INTO the office see the shirt still buttoned up. The ring, though - unless the POINT is to be seen moving it? Imply that you’re open to cheating or something? Ugh.

This is so sketchy.

Danny’s employees be like: “Having? My voice heard? At work? Having? My opinion? Be valued? My? Contribution? Being? Acknowledged? Personally??? ??? ??? What is happening????? ??????” And then it’s the “the worthy leader’s people love and are completely loyal to them” trope (aka one of my greatest weaknesses) forever. <3

Lmao Joy you’re cold.

“Is that heroin? You bring drugs into my office?” *Laughing/sobbing*

Ward just staring blankly while Danny name drops a bunch of triad stuff like Ward is supposed to know what that is. Danny: “...It’s a criminal syndicate.” Ward: *heavy sigh*

Danny, continuing: “So I was talking to the criminals with the hatchets and asked them for intel. They sent me a box, which was clearly a message!” Ward: “You 👏 sound 👏 in 👏 sane. 👏” Danny: “No, look, the proof is that the symbol on this heroin looks like the undying dragon that made me a living weapon!”

Lol “Harold said so himself” no faster way to turn Ward off a plan, sorry Danny

Danny. How do you manage to make half your conversations sound sketchy as hell?

Joy: *brings up the Hatchet men and Red Hook right after Danny was telling Ward about it in relation to the Hand* Ward: *alarm bells ringing because HAS DANNY BEEN TELLING JOY ALL THE THINGS WE SPECIFICALLY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL JOY?* Joy: Anyway, about Dad’s cancer... Ward: Oh, ok then.

Siiiiiiigh this conversation where Ward reassures Joy that she’s a good person making the right decision when she feels bad about doing something but does it anyway - to protect their own company and personal interests - and adds on a load of “also you don’t really feel guilty because you think this is wrong, you just feel sad because you’re remembering Dad, don’t mix it up”

Colleen to Claire, Iron Fist 1x05: “Oh what was that? Come on, hit me.” Colleen to Misty, Luke Cage 2x03: *hitting directly on Misty’s stump while Misty yells at her to stop* “You came to me. I’m not easy. You don’t like that?”

Claire: “I guess I got tired of people doing things for me all the time.” Claire was a helpful nurse in Daredevil, and a friend with medical knowledge in Luke Cage - Iron Fist is where she says “I am tired of being reactionary”

LOL Danny’s cute little smile when he comes in to see Colleen doing her normal thing, training a student, just - it’s so loving and adorable even though they BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER YET

Claire just giving Colleen knowing looks ahahahaha

This scene is SO CUTE Jessica and Finn do such a great job playing all the body language and speech cadences like two teenagers with crushes on each other

DANNY ordering takeout for a talk with someone without even checking to see if they’re free first is SO PRESUMPTUOUS what if she wasn’t free (which she WASN’T) or didn’t want to talk or had already eaten/already had meal plans?

I’m literally laughing out loud hahahaha takeout hahahaha

Claire is laughing at them too. This fumbling “date?” conversation is too adorable I can’t

LMAO Claire knows EXACTLY how much she is third wheeling them right now but she doesn’t care because Damn that food looks good. Girl knows what she wants. (Also a little bit of female solidarity helping to buffer when your friend has literally said “no” to the guy - but in this particular case it’s SO OBVIOUS that Colleen likes him back that I read she’s leaning more towards the ‘it’s just to make sure but also that food looks REALLY good’ - then again, especially with all the things Claire has seen there really is no such thing as ‘too cautious’... let’s go with the way she hints is an opening and when Colleen leaps on the opportunity for Claire to stay it becomes ‘yep, I’m definitely doing this, Colleen doesn’t want to be alone with the dude: confirmed’)

Ward is looking at the problem as what it is: a set-up, and they don’t fall for traps. Joy goes “Remember that I am better at public perception than you - there are more factors here to consider than what everyone involved in this particular case knows. I’M thinking long term about potential future ramifications.”

“He’s in a completely different world, Joy.” “He lives in ours, now.”

That awkward moment when you’re already digging in and someone starts praying

The way Danny just goes shutters down mode when Claire starts probing about how harsh life in the monastery was

Colleen, brainwaving to Claire: ‘YOU BITCH DON’T LEAVE ME HERE’ Claire, brainwaving right back: ‘”Vow of chastity.” I’m good. You’re on your own, girl.’ She does do one last check in to make sure Colleen really isn’t worried though which I appreciate.

Danny. You lovable buffoon. You think Ward’s problem is that he doesn’t believe you? And that if he did believe this was happening he would of course immediately take action to shut it down? Colleen to Ward, sometime in the future: “Danny has Always had way more faith in you than you deserve.” ToT

Colleen: “Ok soooo I’m still not seeing the part where you had to come tell me this? Am I just your favorite sounding board or...?” Danny: “Well, I want you to come stakeout and possibly getting killed WITH me, of course.” Colleen: “Wait, is this a date?” Danny: “What? No! I mean. Unless you want it to be?” Colleen: “No!” Danny: “No. No, uh, definitely, uh, not a date. Heh.” Colleen: “Good.” Danny: “Good.” *both nod*

Of course the argument that gets to Colleen is how this will endanger her students.

DANNY trying to convince someone to do something and then when they hesitate dropping “by the way I’m your new landlord” on them is SKETCHY you foolish foolish boy. How do you manage to come across so sketchy all the time?!

Ward: *cheerfully throwing Danny under the bus* Joy: *warning Look* Ward: *sighhhhhh you ruin all my fun Joy*

Joy: *radiating ‘just wait til we’re alone’ vibes at Ward* “:) I will back up my brother wholeheartedly because we are a united front and I refuse to let the board see any cracks to even try and exploit :)” *’JUST YOU WAIT WARD YOUR ASS IS GRASS’*

Ahahaha “Ward has always led our company to greatness with his mad genius” when Ward knows most of those decisions were actually Harold I’m cry

Danny. That’s Colleen’s private property Danny. It’s very presumptuous to order takeout, buy her building, and start playing with her katana, Danny.

Martial art style teasing rivalry culture I love it

They’re too cute

AI YA

“suck on that, Dad” Ward be like “yeah i went against everything smart that Joy and board were arguing for me to do just to make your precious company look bad DAD whatchu gonna do, huh? gonna send me more vaguely threatening text messages about how not a single moment in my life is private from you, huh, DAD? fuck you”

Danny: “it’s just nice, having someone to count on.” Colleen: “You have the Meachums.” Danny: *remains silent* IT’S SO DAMNING ahahaha Colleen has so many reasons to hate the Meachums hahahaha

Danny: “I don’t even know what I’m doing or saying until it’s taken the wrong way,” Well, I’m glad you realize that, Danny. You’ve seen how many times in the last TWO EPISODES ALONE people have recoiled slightly and gone “woah, woah, what are you doing?” Oh buddy.

Danny: “Ok, look, this stakeout is dangerous, but it’s not ILLEGAL. Technically, I own that pier, so it’s not trespassing or anything.” Radovan: “No hospitals! I’m a wanted man in several countries.”

High Ward T_T and the two different conversations Ward and Joy are having right now T_T and the way Joy doesn’t have the information to even begin to know what Ward is talking about but how she can FEEL that it’s BAD and - T___T

High Ward with his walls down cuddling Joy’s arm and saying “you stood by me” and Joy scared as hell but not hesitating on “we’re family,” as her explanation T________T

“The Hand.” - Danny knew this was The Hand going in. Claire is freaking out because SHE LEFT HELL’S KITCHEN TO GET AWAY FROM THE HAND FUCK THAT HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HER? Colleen is freaking out for an entirely different reason. :(

“The Hand is everywhere.” Cut from Claire and Danny to a new shot of Colleen looking on in the background.

Claire: “This is not something a rich kid from the Upper West Side can just ‘handle’, ok? This is a job that requires someone with special.... skills.” Ahahahaa poor Claire how DOES this keep happening to her?

Danny, with utmost conviction: “I am the ONLY one who can defeat them.” Claire: *long, defeated sigh. How many freaking times has she heard this before and how many times will she hear it again?*

Colleen: “This is my choice.” Danny hears: “because it’s the right thing to do and I care about the people of this city especially my kids who are highly likely to be effected and also I maybe care about you too.” Colleen means: “because this is the Bad Hand that is sullying my family’s good name and I will not let that stand. I will work together with my family and we will defeat this.”

Gao: “’His hands’. Are you sure it wasn’t his fist?” Guard: “Ummmmm what’s the difference”

CULTS ARE SO SCARY HE REALLY JUST KNELT THERE AAAAAH

#iron fist #iron fist rewatch #under leaf pluck lotus #my stuff #the immortal iron fist

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awsugar · 4 years

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sorry to bother you if you don't want to hear about this but do you know if ray or mikey have said anything yet? i've been so weird about even posting mcr content lately bc a.) it doesn't feel important and b.) i'm kind of annoyed at their silence ya know? idk, nothing i do feels right and it's making running a blog uncomfy bc i want to talk about casual stuff like mcr to feel a lil better sometimes but also like why should i get that escape when it's peoples fuckin reality every day?

sorry for the late response, i got a lot of messages. i’m not really ignoring them as much as like. i’ve said my piece on frank’s statement and i don’t need to continue that conversation over 10 more asks.

ray hasn’t said anything. apparently mikey posted on his insta story? i don’t keep up with his story cause he posts too much lol but yea i’ve heard he posted some things there.

i’m willing to give ray a bit of a pass because he like. doesn’t have a huge social media presence to begin with. he has a platform for sure but it’s not like he’s posting all the time and is just being silent right now. i wouldn’t be surprised if he does pop in to say something though.

i do think mikey could make a more concrete statement outside of an instagram story but that’s not hugely important. i think gerard should absolutely say something.

as far as continuing to run a blog i think it’s ok to still blog about your normal stuff with content about the current situation mixed in. i know what you mean about why should i get that escape when others don’t. it does make me feel really priveleged. but also as a mentally ill person i need some normality. i struggling with feeling like i don’t deserve that but i know that i need to somewhat stick to my routine to stay sane and blogging about mcr is part of that routine. idk thats just how i feel.

#anonymous #answered

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malereader-inserts · 5 years

Text

How to Date a Human

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley x Male!Reader x Aziraphale Summary: You have to admit, they’re pretty good boyfriends - you just wonder how they do it. Word Count: 2,568 A/n: I know I said I’ll do Mikaelsons for today, but I wanted to do this as a self-indulgent fic. I also said this would be a series but I decided against it also you’re a badass hunter with added upgrades lol, my mind is wild and I can’t stop until I write it. Might do a part two of this tho just to keep me happy

Part Two

When they met you, they thought you were the most adorable human being to ever exist, as they progressively got to know you, you were more dangerous than they thought, at least for a human.

You were a hunter, a pretty good one whilst you’re at it, known throughout the supernatural. You don’t associate yourself with angel business and demon stuff was sketchy that admittedly, you’ve had your share of run-ins. The supernatural was a nightmare for the almighty and the fact that a human was keeping it sane, on the down low and in control. God, herself, praised you for your work and decided to gift you.

You were, after all, her favourite human.

So, you became immortal but the catch was that you still have to experience everything a human does and if you were to get injured, you cannot be healed, if you were to go to a witch.

You’ve been dating Crowley and Aziraphale for some time now, six months of dating and a year of being friends with you. They’ve told you their secret and you’ve told your part. You three had no secrets to hide away from each other.

Other than, the fact the two have a rule book they’ve written just about you. Affectionately called “How to Date a Human.” They have a lot of details, in case if they forget to take care of you seeing you are still human and therefore a little bit more fragile. Death is easier to grab you despite your immortality. You were immortal, not invincible.

You’d never admit, when the two were off busy for the week, you found the book. You found it touching and put it back in its place after reading some of its contents. (and yes, it does have an index page, made by Crowley himself.)

1. Make sure (Y/n) gets enough sleep.

This was the first rule made in the book, the two had noticed that you were seeing them more tired to the point you could fall asleep at your feet. You’ve out and about will latest hunts and peace treaties, they weren’t exactly knowing your sleeping pattern and they haven’t seen you for two weeks. But, from your dark eye bags and frequent yawning

They kept giving each other side-eyes, watching you sway in the middle of the bookshop.

“Alright, that’s it!” Crowley exclaims, holding you firmly at the shoulders.

“Hmh, what?” You asked, yawning, your eyes slowly shutting and then opening.

“Come ‘ere!” Crowley pulls you by the arm.

“Be careful with him, my dear boy!” Aziraphale exclaims, following the two of you into the back room.

Crowley flops onto the sofa, then tugging you down, catching you effortlessly as you lie on top of him. Aziraphale chuckles as he kneels by you, stroking your hair as you sighed wistfully. You slowly snaked your arms around Crowley and pressed yourself closer, earning a chuckle from him.

Slowly you fell asleep, the even breathing escapes you as Crowley and Aziraphale smiled at each other at their exhausted human. That was the first time they have seen you so exhausted.

Then it became a habit, Aziraphale had to lead you to the backroom whenever you turned up and he could see your shoulders heavy with tiredness, he’ll close the shop and hold you dear to him as he reads to you. Crowley would let you sleep in the Bentley, sometimes, if you’re around about, he’ll drive around in circle hoping it lulls you to sleep.

They always call you up at night to make sure you’re in bed and talk at you until they hear your snores.

They make sure to keep track of your sleeping habits, making sure you don’t oversleep but when needed they leave you be. You appreciate it, really you do, time is no longer a problem for you anymore but your health is always a top priority for them.

Plus, the love seeing you sleepy you get more affectionate.

“How much sleep have you gotten last night, love?” Crowley asked just as you enter the bookshop with a cheerful smile, “By the looks of it, enough.”

“You worry too much,” You teased as you squeezed his cheeks.

“We worry just the right amount, and rightly so,” Aziraphale mentions shutting a book he was right in - the start of the rule book dedicated to you, wagging his finger at you as you beamed at him.

“I know,” You hummed, “And that’s why I love you two.”

2. Make sure (Y/n) eats.

Not your fault you forget to eat, when you’re busy and lose the track of time you forget to eat. And when you do, it’s not necessarily healthy.

“I got’s to go,” You say, pulling your bag over your shoulder as Aziraphale knits his eyebrows together.

He had noticed you had just woken up, your hair still dishevelled and shirt ruffled, you kissed his temple as he looks at you questioningly, a slimy little bastard with his judgmental look.

“What?”

“You haven’t eaten breakfast!” The angel asserts loudly as you shake your head, heaving out a sigh heavily.

“I’ll eat, I promise!” You say, kissing him again, “Bye, honey!”

You slam the door of your apartment, leaving the angel terribly confused. By the looks of it, you were going too busy for the day so there was no point in expecting you to join Crowley and Aziraphale to lunch that day. Whilst Aziraphale was busy during the night, Crowley was there at your apartment for your arrival.

“Heya darling!” You waved, passionately kissing him upon entrance, “How’s your day?”

Crowley shrugs his shoulders, “Could be better, hunter,” As he watches you pull off your shoes as he narrows his eyes towards you, “Angel told me to ask about what you’ve eaten today.”

“Oh,” You paused, “I haven’t.”

“You’re stupid,” Crowley announced, standing up and throwing the shoes you’ve just pulled off, “Come on we’re getting McDonald's.”

You looked at him blankly, “I don’t want McDonald's.”

“Well, do you have food here?” He snaps at you, you looked unphased as you crossed your arms over your chest like a little child, “Exactly, that’s mah point!”

“I want Subway,” You say, pouting as he raises his eyebrow above his sunglasses, “What? It’s healthy!”

“Heugh-!” He splutters and he starts making his classic noises as you wait for him to finish his outburst, “Healthy!? If I recall you haven’t eaten food and you’re talking about being healthy!”

“I...Yeah?” You sounded unsure but you could feel your demon glaring daggers at you as he yanks your arm, “Wait! I haven’t put my shoes on!”

With ease, he flings you over his shoulder, grumbling as you crossed your arms over your chest as Crolwy have a hold of your shoes.

“Nice arse, babe.”

“Hey!” Crowley exclaims, but you couldn’t see there was a smug smile on his face as he puts you into the passenger seat and gives you your shoes.

You hated being in the car when Crowley drove and you always try and not get weirded out as he watched you eat. You huffed as you wiped your mouth and finished your foot-long sub before he pushed over six inches sub towards you.

“Hey, don’t glare at me, if it was Aziraphale he would be taking you out for a three-course meal,” Crowley shrugs as he picks up the sub and tries to force-feed you.

“I will bite you.”

“Do it, I dare you,” He hissed, knowing that he was challenging you behind his sunglasses.

You snatched the sub out of his hand and munched away with a mouth full of food., “You haven’t told Ariza, have you?”

“Manners!” You jumped at the new voice, you huffed as Aziraphale sits down in between you and Crowley. You give him a tight smile as he looks at you with a stern look, “You’re unbelievable!”

“I forgot!”

“It’s substantial for a human, sweetheart, only an idiot would-”

“I already heard this from Crowley, I don’t need your bitchness,”

“You will get it-”

“Uh no-”

The three of you started to bicker as you continue to eat, since then, Aziraphale makes sure you text you incisively to eat and gives you disapproving looks when you’re eating unhealthily, though he will always make room for dessert with you.

3. If he returns injured, DO NOT scowl at him (if needed; do it lightly) and always tend to him because he would not do it himself

It was clear to the boys that you sometimes come home minorly injured, some cuts and bruises you couldn’t handle. They wish they could miracle it away but due to your agreement, you have to suffer.

So, every wince, every huff of pain, each complains, they also have to suffer with you. They hated seeing you in pain, even if was nothing. Sometimes you try to hide it but one of them always catch on.

However, the first time you came home with more than minor injuries. The two freaked out. You were gone for some expedition to calm down some werewolves and you had silver to warn them. You were sure you stopped the bleeding of the scratch, and you were luckily not bitten as you slowly make your way to your apartment, not noticing the Bentley parked nearby.

You opened the door of your apartment and stepped in, tiredly looking at your boyfriends.

You put your bag down and stumble over your feet as you felt some hands catch you, “Thanks Aziraph- Azi-A-,”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” He interrupts you, looking at Crowley desperately as the demon was seething in his spot.

“Have I ever mention that I fucking hate werewolves?”

Crowley moves towards you and picks you up, gritting his teeth as you wince loudly. Aziraphale snaps his fingers as the three of you arrived at your bathroom, the tub slowly filling up with hot water and helped you to get rid of the bloody coat and shirt off you.

You sat on the side of the tub, whilst Crowley and Aziraphale stood before you.

“What were you thinking?” Crowley started to scowl, pulling out a first aid kit whilst your angel runs a hand through your hair whilst kissing you tenderly, “Going out knowing there was a full moon.”

“Very irresponsible of you!” Aziraphale added his two cents, “I thought you know better!”

“You could have been killed, you’re not invincible-!” The demon continues as you flinched when he started to stitch put your cut, “That’s what you get!”

You looked up to them as they paused, your eyes looking so fed up. You swallow and look guilty, though you looked so exhausted of just existing at that moment as you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, your voice broke at the end and letting out an uneven breath.

“You just have to be more careful, (Y/n),” Aziraphale softly hums, as Crowley continues to stitch you up so carefully that you won’t flinch.

“We’re aware it’s your job, but,” Crowley struggles to speak honestly, he struggles to be soft.

“You have to come home to us, and seeing you injured...well.”

“It’s hard when we can’t miracle you better.”

The two looks at you as you looked down, looking at your shaky hands - that’s what blood loss does, “Lets clean you up then?”

You allowed yourself to get assisted to stripped as your boyfriends lavish you. Your skin scalding due to the hot waters before getting used to the temperature. Aziraphale washes your hair as Crowley lathes you, discovering smaller cuts and bruises appearing on your body.

After that, they help you get dressed comfy whilst Crowley miracles your hair dry and leading you to your bed, which was a super king bed. You lie in the middle as you shut your eyes, hoping to block the pain.

Your boyfriends lie beside you, unable to sleep as you sleep because they were more concerned about you.

So, they vowed that you would never take of yourself so they had to do it. Most of the time when you come back pretty nastily, they remind you how they need you to come home safe but always drop compliments, or close to compliments in Crowley’s situation.

4. What to do when he has a bad day.

Aziraphale's handwriting is pretty, you think now as you stare at the writing in the book.

There was just a list of what to do when you have a bad day, not that you have many. Also, it’s subjective to each person to what is a bad day. A sad bad day or an angry bad day differ immensely, however, Aziraphale had listed different days and what to do, which by the looks of it Crowley has taken a look of it far too many times till he got it memorized.

If he’s sad, get him to the closest soft surface. Such as a bed or sofa, even your lap.

You like sitting on the angel’s lap because he had a little more weight, you liked cuddling up to him.

Don’t force him to speak, let him tell you when ready. (I mean it, Crowley!)

You smirked when you see the little note to Crowley, Crowley gets impatient most of the time, but as he continues to date you, his patience with you grows and his patience with Aziraphale decreases.

Cuddles! Lots of them, stroke his hair, traces on his skin, just hold him!

Affection, if there is a medal or trophy you could give to Aziraphale because he's so soft and always a sucker for affection. Crowley likes affection when it’s for him, he struggles to give back, so if you’re the one who reaches out for him then he’ll happily give it to you but he would never insinuate it.

If it’s an angry bad day, let him blow off some steam (that does not mean you can go make him do something illegal, Crowley)

There was that one time, Crowley almost convinced you to start a fight to release your anger before Aziraphale came to the rescue. Now, you go punch a punching bag at the gym if needed, they leave you be for a few hours to let you cool down.

If it’s a frustration bad day, well, the handwriting changes to Crowley’s, let him steam it off with sex! (or alcohol) - only with his permission, obviously.

You chuckled at the demon’s eagerness for sex and alcohol, but also respectful of your boundaries and such. You were even amused that Aziraphale had not crossed out Crowley’s suggestion because it was true.

You shut the book and put it away. There were a few more rules added with the scrawls of your boyfriends, but you couldn’t possibly have the time to read all of them. You tapped your finger against the wooden desk, you looked at the book with narrowed eyes, upon the shelves wedged in between with other books owned by your angel.

You picked up your bag and checked how much money you have as you made your way to the nearest supermarket for a book also. Clean and ready for your ink to spill.

And you would affectionately call it: How to Date a Demon and an Angel.

You might have to change the “A Demon and an Angel” Bit to something shorter, it’s a working process.

#ineffable husbands x male reader #anthony j crowley x male reader #aziraphale x male reader #crowley x male reader x aziraphale #good omens #good omens imagine #good omens x male reader #x male reader

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