#Someone who sees how magical I am

[beautyinthediss0nance]

Why is courting not still a thing??

A friend said to me that we, as humans, have lost the magic of being adored and going through all the steps of wooing and being wooed. That women no longer understand what it is like to be pursued and men no longer know what it is to be so captivated and work for her attention and time.. That society has made us all disposable and commodities, instead of appreciating how magical we each are… and he’s right. We are magic, and we have forgotten it for instant gratification.

#i want to be courted #and wooed #and loved #and have effort and time made #to be fully in my feminine #and meeting someones effort vs making the effort #i do not mind initiating #but it would just be so nice to be pursued and wanted #and not just wanted as a hole to stick their dick in #Someone who sees how magical I am #and shows me how magical they are #slowly and over time #so you are constantly learning and being amazed by each other #dating #modern dating #dating sucks

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school #so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away #i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute #and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with #someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over #so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job #not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people #and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie #or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn) #so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired #i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family #but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying #and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home #logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do #i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out #and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years #i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year #i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out #even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times #and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable #i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something #plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later #vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space #and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year #and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends #so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything #i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything #but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know #i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to #vent

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

it’s weird how many compliments I get now for just. existing. and wearing pretty clothes. it’s nuts how differently people treat me based on what I wear. smth smth commentary on humanity whatever I’m just glad other ppl also like my skirts.

#blue chatter #genuinely I think part of it is just that I dress like a magical girl anime protagonist #hair bow poofy skirt color coordinated and themed with matching KN95 sparkly makeup sometimes #and also that people tend to compliment parts of your appearance that you have control over #like hair and clothes and makeup #bc it’s a way to compliment without being forward or objectifying someone #so now that I regularly wear clothing that is bright and colorful and outside the norm it’s noticeable #and o do genuinely put more effort into my appearance now #but it is interesting how much easier it is to make casual acquaintances with people #<- this is important in context. bc I am constantly off putting. I don’t mask much at school anymore. #so this is people complimenting someone who is constantly flinching at sudden noises and randomly twitches/stims #it’s intriguing to me #people approach?? me?? and compliment my outfit and then we chat abt where I got it #and then they say hi to me in class the next day #and suddenly I have someone I can email if I need to miss class and want that day’s notes #it’s so wild #this happens more the weirder I dress btw. if I’m wearing sparkles and a petticoat and a bunch of pins and hairclips I get more #positive attention. which is real intriguing to me. #but I also genuinely like dressing like this? it’s nice to be complimented and it makes me feel good #but I also do it when nobody sees me just bc I enjoy it #I feel more confident in myself and how I perceive myself and I think the confidence also helps #a few of my friends have commented that I hold myself very differently now #one jokingly calls it my ‘queer glowup’ bc this coincided w me being more open and accepting abt my queer identities #which I think is fun

[waitingforminjae]

whoa

#(complimentary) #i am rlly not around cosplay or other costume stuff at all so its like magic to me <3 #like a little kid who sees someone dressed up out in the wild and gets excited <3 #also just crazy face structure whoa #rc watches lmlmv #also i wonder if this is just a character or a real popular cosplayer cameo bc that seems like smth that would be cameo #also i love how qing ci knows everybody and they're all nice <3 #sometimes u just gotta watch a show where nothing bad happens

[moregraceful]

kinda eating drywall abt the karlsson trade but it is what it is

i consider it a win in that i didn't lose nick cicek in the trade honestly, which probably says intensely worrisome things about my priorities in the sharks org AND my perception of nick cicek's trade value but. yeah no we got fleeced not only by pittsburgh's most eligible president of hockey ops slash gm AND kent hughes, which is an ego blow on unforeseen and sloppy levels. like my mom could sell me to kyle dubas and i'd be like fine, whatever, but mike grier is a whole ass nhl gm. he should have protective charms in place against that man so i gotta ask. i gotta ask. mikey you good. you good babe??? you need some electrolytes???

congrats to sid crosby for adding another boytoy to his dman harem tho. personally cannot wait to see what happens when karly (mean cat), tanger (evil cat), and gravy (anxious greyhound) get in the same locker room. the sparks...they're flyin

#or gravy ends up in wilkes-barre. i'll kill you gmkd don't test me #back for a hot second to check one (1) thing for a challenge but i could not resist explaining my passions (gay defensemen) #maybe there's a god above...all i ever learned from love...was how to write ryan graves in various situations getting stressed out #have i ever written ryan graves smut? i can't remember. huge L if i haven't. someone inform me if i have. i don't remember at all #this tumblr break is going great. i started and finished a fic for time begins that needs psychological spiritual and emotional help #''you know what this baseball fic needs? a trans grandmother who is witch-coded'' boy no it doesn't!!!!! #if i were smart i'd lean into urban fantasy and just go nuts. blake sabol the magic is within YOU #alas the grandmother is simply from sonoma (at first she was from bolinas and then i was like i CANNOT validate those maniacs) #still packing but i'm so stressed bc i have one episode of tunnel talk left and i'm like what do i do if i run out of episodes untll sat #my sister told me to listen to the audiobook of gideon the ninth and i'm like dude i don't know if i'm smart enough for that #i bring a real ''checking books out on libby and not listening or reading to them'' that libraries paying for ebooks and eaudiobooks #per use on a proprietary license do not enjoy #so i'm holding off on gideon for now. i checked out the night tiger while i wait for time war to come round again we'll see if i listen #what am i talking about. i rediscovered spotify's tropical house playlist and that's all i fucken listen to now #on some secret level i am on a sunny beach far away from here getting [redacted] by [redacted] while [redacted] #it's so interesting how it took me a half hour to respond to this and yet i gave anon none of the commiseration they wanted or needed #cage replies #anon

[ezraphobicsoup]

magical john drag king is exactly what alan moore meant about the ideaspace this absolutely existed in our collective consciousness as a human species

#or i guess the human species? who’s to say #ok i actually need to stop i don’t know what i’m thinking anymore #i can like vividly imagine magical john on a stage and real and i’m afraid #also yeah no this post probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else #ezra’s real life rambles #silly hours posting #<- hello my old friend i feel this is justified (ancients of mu mu?????) here #why am i being abnormal about the fucking klf book. what why how this isn’t good this isn’t a cool one to talk to people about #‘hey so you heard of this satire religion called discordianism? oh no you’re not? fair enough #surely you’re aware of self-referential reality tunnels though right? oh no you’re not. hm well how about the illuminatus! trilogy? #huh. ok. well to cut to the chase there was this band called the klf and they had like many hit singles #you’ll know some of them most likely. but uh ultimately they burned 1 million pounds in cash!! like straight up!! and it was filmed #some time afterwards (i think like 23 years?) they went around on an unusal tour showing off the footage #but at this point they weren’t making music anymore you see. so it wouldn’t even make sense as some publicity stunt #but yeah on this tour they go around and ask people why they (the klf) burned 1 million pounds #was it art? was it rock and roll? and most people go ‘it was stupid and selfish you entitled pricks’ #they both (drummond and cauty (the klf)) have a family yknow #like they both have wives and kids. one of them had like four children i think? #anyway the money burning happened on the 23rd of august 1994 in the island of jura’ #you can’t just say all of that to someone no one cares #ok for real i’m gonna go now and eventually sleep

[tiistirtipii]

Akk from the earlier episodes would have a mental breakdown if he saw himself in the later episodes and that is so funny to me.

#I don’t know how to describe it #but imagine him seeing himself in any situation with Ayan post episode 10 at the latest #oh who am I smiling at with so much happiness? #AYAN??!! #the guy I hate?? the guy trying to take over the school?? #WHY am I hugging him and kissing him and being comforted by him? #why am I looking at him like he’s my everything? #what kind of black magic is this?! #on a serious note every time I think about how their relationship slowly changed I feel emotional #that’s the magic of enemies to lovers baybeee #also it wouldn’t take much to make Akk have a mental breakdown he’s teetering on the edge of one every five minutes #it’s one of the thing I love about him #anyway hope someone gets what I mean #akk the eclipse #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #first kanaphan #gmmtv #tiistirtipii #akkposting

[mould-corner]

honestly, in terms of harry potter games, i desperately want one that’s just… going around the school and learning magic, yknow?

like, the only one ive played a bit is hogwarts mystery (on mobile) but ive looked at the other options and they all focused on more on the story than the classes. which like, makes sense, if youre making a game you want it to be a game, but also i just want to do magic school and learn how everything works.

i am such a sucker for magic theory and every day life as a wizard in general, i know there’s stuff like hogwartsishere online that has versions of lessons but that’s not a game. its better than nothing but i am still dying of want to just guide a lil guy around a magic castle learning magic and holing up in a library.

i dont want plot i want school

#never thought id say i want school lmao #but like #i fidn the concept of magic as a whole so absolutely entrapping #as someone who loves programming and coding in general magic feels like it should work similarly #i absolutely love the idea of arithmancy and anchient runes as classes #because that is things that connect together -like a program- to do magic #we were robbed when harry didnt do runes and arithmancy #i have consumed so many fanfic centered around runes and arithmancy and i am going insane #i want to /learn/ magic #i want to see how it might have worked #i want to compare potions ingredients to see which one reacts with what to do what #i want to learn how to tell the age or abilities of magical creatures #i want to cast charms and transfigurations and learn shields and the patronus #i want the magic #not the story #just the magic #i want to use my dip pens to take notes and fill books of magic theory and classwork #i want to learn magic #i need to learn magic #mould shouts #harry potter #magic theory #harry potter game

[radiofreeilium]

Crowd sourcing plot points in my new wip

#tbh i am going to make all of these be a thing #but i'm doing a fun story idea i liked #it's like half magic half superpower thing; it's modern day but throughout society individuals soread out have unique talents #not entirely unique to each person but there are abilities that crop up again #but like small stuff #stuff like being able to pull water from the ground and fill a puddle #or feel the shape of someones emotions #or extend vision past normal reaches #be able to float very slightly #be able to summon mist or light rain #etc etc #plot would be about a bunch of separate people with powers living their lives as just people #people who just so happen to have an oddity to them #and like see how they use it or feel about the abiltity #then jump into it where something (i.e. poll option) starts boosting the effects of their talents to the point of danger #and then they've gotta figure who what when whete and why thijgs are happening #Concepts #writing #writeblr #polls

[tacagen]

erik alfred leslie satie you were the real one

#i mean that on all accounts. however. currently i am referring to the fact he dropped out of paris conservatoire twice #we both were too silly for the art music educational institutions 😔😔 #being into avant-garde ideas and some of the styles sucks. how tf i dont fit in BOTH art and pop music standards and expectations #composition class is a f-g nightmare when you are schizoid (not into any poetry and expressing 'feelings' no matter mine or someone else's) #my professor doesnt allow pieces without an Idea; a Picture that is Painted by Notes. more they dont even exist to her. #and then theres me. flat affected fucker who rarely has Ideas (and even if i do neither i want to nor can explain them) but often Neat #Sound Combinations. oh and also most of the conventional themes/ideas disgust me (see: 95% of poetry and songs being about l*ve) #sigh why cant i just magically be left alone to finally live my truth #the orientation to the listener and their basic ass perception while writing music and yk. expressing _yourself_ by it is so sickening

[duckuwu]

I, uh, I'm too in love with the concept of long game slow burn Imogen/Laudna to even enjoy Dusk asking Laudna out tonight.

I don't know if it's purely because I just hate love triangles, or if I'm against it because we know that Dusk has a hidden agenda and their niceness is just a front.

As a multishipper, I'm leaning towards it mostly being the second one. I know it's partially Erika having some fun, which I'm not really against. But idk...

I'm glad Laudna left. Not only cause it was directly choosing Imogen (because Imogen is all she really cares about), but also like... I already wasn't liking the whole notion of Laudna potentially being interested in something romantic with Dusk only to inevitably find out that they've had an agenda this whole time. Dusk's inevitable betrayal was already enough for me to place a Do Not Ship this label on the relationship, but then you've got Laudna saying she's never been asked out before...

...and all my protective instincts just took over. I absolutely do not want Laudna being taken advantage of. And that's what Dusk would be doing at this point.

Listen, as a storyteller, I absolutely understand how this sort of betrayal could bring about a whole bunch of interesting narrative paths. And I'm sure it was more of a throwaway line for Laudna/Marisha, and again I know it's all a bit of fun for Erika and potentially a genuine (somewhat fun times) interest for Dusk. But given the context of what we've been given wrt Dusk, and now Laudna... it's coming really close to the first time CR has ever made me feel uncomfortable/unsafe in terms of storytelling. I've come to cr knowing I could trust that certain things just won't happen in game...

...but boy howdy Dusk taking advantage of an innocent and inexperienced Laudna is absolutely not a thing I want to have happen / watch.

((again, I know it was mostly just having fun and throwing chaos into the mix, and that Erika probably wasn't really thinking in terms of anything THAT nefarious. but wow. That got so uncomfortable and unfun super fast for me.))

I sorta wish we got to have that sort of a moment between them PRIOR to learning that Dusk is not a friend. Because seeing the kinda adorable, and innocent seeming, Dusk asking Laudna out probably would've been really cute and fun to enjoy. But context is everything.

#critical role spoilers #cr3 #though a part of me wonders what Delilah's reaction wouldve been to dusk's inevitable betrayal #is Delilah as protective and possessive of laudna as she was of her late husband? #would she take over Laudna again and break Dusk like a magic rock? #i definitely am interested in finding out how Delilah feels towards Laudna #and what would happen at such a heinous emotional violation #but i absolutely do not want to see it happen in this sort of a context #again. to reiterate: i love erika and know theyre not someone who would purposely do this sort of storyline #I'm just needing to express how uncomfortable it was for me #needing to get the thoughts out #duck rambles #spoilers

[roughentumble]

sylph of mind triss. i will not elaborate.

#ok yes i will #obviously i am going to harp on “used magic to effect geralt's decision-making and have him sleep with her” #which is clearly creation of the mind #but she also is more cold and calculating than people give her credit for #while also creating in the minds of others a feeling a warmth #which isnt a bad thing! she does that by usually being nice #but when it comes down to it she falls back on the cold hard logic of giving ciri to the lodge. she plays the politics #she is both a fun and interesting person who makes the people around her feel better AND someone who has fun playing mind games #at least thats how i see her #i see her as someone who values her mind. which isnt a bad thing! but like #is very mind player. #witcher tag #ogc tag #HSAU tag

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Look it's Monday. Don't trigger my extra large inadequacy

Yes IRL they all said it was quite large.

*shrugs*

Since when have I listened to anything except myself.

#ring ring hello Hang 'Em High my red bra needs removed #heh but who da fuck is you do #could be like an Aerosmith vidya #makes me wonder about seeing King at 7-11 the ine day #could have been looking at myself for all I know #it was a pleasant exchange of nods #I was just on my way to or coming back from (if what thy say is tru(pa bank in amish) magic making)and there is an authority #there is no telling how many times I have fucked with myself over the years #at the same time if anyone has aympathy for me I guess it would be me and if not me you #or jojo obviously #When I stated she is a part of me this is Truth #I accepted the contract #with EL it's bi one bull the get the other free #also like I am already jealous of thebtime you will spend without me and it is the only jealousy I can tolerate #bo fly was probably right #bofly is probably PS in an incognito tab or something jokes on me I am sure #the great anon has curls like an Ed #mixed with mama who is.....*shrugs* Celtic perhaps #the joke of course about me dating someone freahman year who looked like my own sister #I really can't say #feels like Inlearned some truth about the star sister but I don't know if that was you or just thr language engine abstracting #like my thought forms can abstract without language #like a lot #Like if it wasn't your name before it sure is the first name you ever heard for yourself #and coming from God and teddy bear encounters from the B-53(proper caps) that's what it is #that is some deep seeded shit right there #me: hey brat you go through me if you want to trance out with your dyke lover alright #Australia...who knows with the Internet #my first online girlfriend #who kinda inserted herself into the role but hey whatever

[drchucktingle]

this was a comment on one of my post from a recent live event. it was photos of joyful queer buckaroos celebrating together and proving love is real through creation, community, and a trot of love. most important I AM LITERALLY IN PHOTO AS A REAL FLESH AND BLOOD HUMAN

it got me thinking about how DEEP AND VICIOUS the irony poisoning of these early internet communities goes. the way buds like this cannot fathom someone just being a sincere person unrelated to their OWN old days of cynical posting. it is fascinating, and i will admit, sad too

despite a DECADE of work, countless live events, 350 tinglers written well before large language models were a thing, there are still people who cannot imagine someone like me could exist. it is a strange place to be. not just part of me, but my entire EXISTENCE is often gatekept

it is easy to say ‘well chuck your art IS strange’ but honestly i think it is more than that. magical realism is common. there are stories about dinosaurs and bigfeet and unicorns. this scoundrel reaction is about two unspoken things: my art is neurodivergent, and my art is queer

heres the thing: I WILL BE FINE. what concerns me is not an issue of MYSELF, it is a concern for the other young outsider buckaroos who see comments like this one and think ‘is that what they will say if i express MY unique way? will i be dehumanized like this at every turn?'

i will be honest, i cannot say that WONT happen, but i CAN say this: for as deep as this irony poisoning goes, it is slowly dying. the way i was treated at the start of my career is LIGHTYEARS DIFFERENT from the way i am treated now. there is a massive shift towards sincerity

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. to young artists trotting up, the things that i am harassed over and doubted for and made fun of for are NOT tangental to what has made me successful, THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME SUCCESSFUL. YES I AM STRANGE, WHAT OF IT?

the things that you tuck away for fear of a review that says ‘there is a PROBLEM with this art because it has always been done another way’ THOSE ARE YOUR SUPERPOWERS. the gatekeepers want you to tuck those parts of yourself away because THEY TUCKED AWAY THOSE PART OF THEMSELVES

never forget that your unique way is PURE UNFILTERED 100 PERCENT ROCKET FUEL. it will stick out (maybe, if you are lucky, scoundrels will even say that someone like you could never actually be real), but sticking out isnt so bad when you are waving the flag of love.

in fact, when youre waving the flag of love, sticking out is pretty dang cool. what are flags for, after all? LOVE IS REAL BUCKAROOS. thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this long post then please consider preordering BURY YOUR GAYS.

LETS TROT

#buckaroo lifestyle #chuck tingle #tingleverse #queer #actually autistic #love is real

[raeygina-george]

Thinking about the actual story I have to give to my au

#raey spam #this au literally only spawned bc zel thought it'd be funny if I drew kel as a magical girl #i have a couple little ideas with breaking the 4th wall but idek how to tie that into the magical girl thing #the idea i just had is where the big yellow cat is killed by Someone and suddenly no one is watching over headspace anymore #so there are a lot of enemies and shit running around #like actively attacking civilians #while the guy who killed the yellow cat is doing some injustice or whatever idk #briefly considered him kidnapping basil but idk maybe #the real question is who would be the villain #i am thinking. sunny trying to defeat omori #which would b really fun bc then id get to design sunny magical girl #except i wouldn't i would keep his normql design bc the point is that he's sick of this #i could also make mari the villain #anyways its boutta storm i kind of want to lay on the concrete and let the sky reclaim me #listen to the deafening thunser (entirely too loud btw someone turn that shit down) and all that #update i could not lay down but i took a very short walk and was sufficiently drenched. yippee #dear 2 mutuals who see my posts ever idea do u like best #evil mari or evil omori or 4th wall break basil or other (please click all that apply) #anyways no one told me this but apparently if you get wet you must then suffer the consequences of being wet #wtf

[possamble]

Needlessly close reading and long commentary on chapter 57 and how the audience actually has an extremely limited view on what Marcille has been like over the course of her life.

I am once again thinking about how pre-dungeon Marcille is so quiet and stoic that she seems like a completely different person. How jarring chapter 57 is for the audience. Like you have Marcille, who has been just the most blindingly expressive person with resting baby face

And then the chapter drops a title page of Marcille hearing from Falin for the first time in four years and it's like.

Who is that. Genuinely. Would you even realize that's Marcille without the context clues?

And then the chapter just keeps coming in with the sucker punches.

We have SEEN Marcille meet strangers. It was never with this understated of a smile.

literally who the hell is this. the few times the audience gets to see some Signature Marcille Faces that they're used to is when she finally gets to see Falin again

when she's testing out her new spells

(and when Laios and Falin are fantasizing about her being their damsel in distress, funnily enough)

And then finally. Finally you get to a fully recognizable Marcille when she fucking DIES and comes back to life to geek out about necromancy.

We know she loves magic. We know she loves Falin. So it's not so surprising that she wouldn't be able to keep a mask up when thinking or talking about the things she loves. But why the mask in the first place? Where does it come from? It's tempting to think that, maybe, Falin's departure just hurt her so much that it turned her into a quiet person.

But that's only half true. If you go back, the first instance you see of this incredibly mild personality is actually introduced much earlier, in chapter 17.

What if she was always like that. What if her default after her father died was to hold people at arm's length, to never really emote past being polite and friendly. What if Falin was the first person who was able to bring her out of her shell, and when she left, Marcille just went back to how she was.

And when comparing her detached demeanour with someone else...

It's not exact, but wouldn't you say there's a resemblance? Wouldn't you think she might be trying her best to imitate what she saw of her own mother working as an accomplished mage?

It would certainly explain why she's hiding behind her portrait in her nightmare, at least.

We aren't told that Marcille has been distancing herself from everyone around her using a mature and dignified personality she modelled off her mother. But we sure as hell are shown it, I think.

#marcille donato #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi spoilers #this got so fucking long #it was originally just supposed to be 'haha marcille's old coworkers probably know her as the super serious one' #and then i started connecting dots and it was all over for me #anyway babygirl went right back to depressionville after falin left and it's like. wow. falin doesn't even know how long it's been #that's gotta hurt. #dunmeshi panel meta #marcilleposting #junoposting