#RABIE IS SUCH A GOOD NAME FOR A RACCOON!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catindabag · 5 months

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TBOSAS on Crack short take (56)

Casca: Ms. Price, could you get your weird dog off The Academy’s lawn right this instant?

Persephone: Sir, I’m sorry but I don’t have a dog.

Casca: That’s incorrect. He’s currently causing a scene outside my school.

Persephone: But sir, I’m being honest. I’m even allergic to them-

Festus: I think he’s talking about your crazy dad, Percy.

Persephone: My dad? But Festus, he’s at home-

Coryo: Creed’s right, Price. Just look out the window. Your crazy old man has been rolling around the lawn for hours.

Persephone: What?! Let me see! *opens the window*

Nero: *is screaming and rolling like an angry toddler*

Coryo: Did you see him now?

Persephone: Sh*t! You’re right! My poor daddy’s acting like a madman again!😩 *runs out of the classroom to get her dad*

Festus: *sighs* Poor Percy Price.

Felix: What’s up with Nero Price though? Why is he acting like that?

Coryo: Well, according to rumors, Percy’s old man lost his mind when the rebels tried to starve us to death.

Felix: Is his madness permanent?

Coryo: Yes. It’s permanent. He doesn’t even go to work anymore.

Festus: True. Percy’s mama is now the sole breadwinner of the family.

Arachne: *scoffs* It must be because he’s a crazy canniba-

Coryo: Don’t finish that sentence, Crane.

Arachne: Or what, Snowy~?

Coryo: Or I’ll tell the whole school about the day you lost your precious ✨Sandwich Queen✨ title to Festus and Sejanus.

Arachne: You dare threaten me?!

Coryo: I’ll also publish the photos of you wearing an ugly neck brace-

Arachne: Go suck a di-

Felix: But seriously, what happened to the “Railroad Titan” Mr. Price?

Festus: Well, all we know is that he lost his marbles because of the rebels.

Urban: Was it the maid stew?

Coryo: Maybe? Who knows.

Io: Hey, guys, look! *points at Nero Price* He’s now barking like a dog at Percy!

Apollo: Cool!

Clemensia: Is that normal?

Festus: That’s just part of his madness.

Coryo: Yeah. That’s pretty normal for him to do.

Sejanus: Coryo, my love, why are you and Festus so nonchalant about this?

Coryo: Well, my love, you already know that Percy, Festus, and I have been childhood friends and neighbors since forever. So I’ve seen her crazy old man go wild a couple of times before.

Festus: That’s not even his final form.

Gaius: He has a final form?!

Androcles: What’s his final form?

Coryo: It’s when he wears his pajamas wolf onesie and howls at the moon all night long.

Felix: That’s so weird.

Coryo: Yeah. It’s quite odd, but he literally thinks that he’s a cool werewolf or something.

Dennis: What about your poor neighbors? How did they react?

Coryo: Oh, they hate it when he does that. However, it’s impossible to arrest him when he’s in his ✨werewolf mode✨.

Apollo: Can I be a werewolf too?

Diana: No.

Io: But why is it impossible to arrest one madman howling in the middle of the night?

Coryo: Because Nero Price bites like a rabid dog. Heck! He might even have rabies for all we know.

Festus: He can even easily tear out the limbs of a grown man.

Felix: That’s impossible-

Festus: Coryo and I have seen him do it before.

Coryo: And rumors say that he once tore off the head of a rebel who tried to kill Percy.

Lysistrata: In the name of self-defense, right?

Coryo: Sure. Let’s stick with that.

Urban: So what’s his weakness?

Coryo: His wife.

Urban: Really?

Coryo: You don’t bite the hand that feeds you, do you?

Urban: I guess not.

Felix: By the way, are we going to help Percy catch her dad or should we just leave her be?

Clemensia: Maybe we should call the Peacekeepers?

Urban: Or a dog catcher.

Coryo: Is crazy Nero Price running around with a stick in his mouth?

Felix: No.

Coryo: Then that’s a good sign.

Festus: Yup. Percy doesn’t need us to intervene. She can handle him herself.

Felix: Are you sure about that?

Festus: Bro, I’ve seen her wrestle a nursery of rabid raccoons before. She’ll be fine.

Io: Hey, guys, I think Percy needs our help. Her crazy father is now throwing mud at her.

Sejanus: Yo, he’s now stealing and throwing our bikes in the fountain!

Androcles: Sh*t! He destroyed my expensive skateboard!

Apollo: And my tiny scooter!

Coryo: Yeah. That’s a bad sign. Let’s go help her.

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forlorn-crows · 11 months

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Mushy May Day 25: 'Adopting' a Stray Animal

Characters: Mountain, Cirrus, Dew, new animal friends

Words: 1073

behold, hank the raccoon lore!!

"Mountain,” Cirrus says warily. “That is a wild animal."

The earth ghoul remains unbothered. "He's my friend."

"A friend with rabies, probably," Dew mutters, arms crossed protectively in front of his chest.

"Don't say that about Hank, that's rude."

"Hank?!"

"Can he not have a name?"

"It's not that he can't, it's–"

"Good," he doesn't wait for Cirrus to finish. "Because his name is Hank."

The wild animal in question is a (rather fat) racoon currently bumbling about the greenhouse. Hank sits perched atop one of the worn benches munching on the remnants of a puffed cheese snack. Mountain reaches into the pocket of his work apron, producing another bright orange cheese ball and holding it palm-out for the raccoon to take. Hank chitters and plucks the snack from his hand, holding it between his paws as he munches.

"You just fed him a cheese ball," Dew deadpans, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"They're his favorite," Mountain replies. He pops a ball into his own mouth, crunching noisily.

The fire ghoul scoffs. “Did he tell you that?”

“You think because I’m an earth ghoul I can talk to animals?”

Cirrus looks between Hank and Mountain, seriously contemplating the idea. “I mean . . .” Hank finishes the cheese ball and wipes his paws on his cheeks, leaving little neon orange crumbs in his whiskers. He flicks his tail and peers up at Cirrus, little black eyes shining with curiosity.

He can only be described as round, which is nothing out of the ordinary for a raccoon, of course. There isn’t anything particularly distinguishable about him—standard wide black and white banded face framed by white whiskers, little bits of brown above the nose, tiny sharp fangs pointing past black lips, wiry double coat and matching banded tail, too-tiny paws. Standard, that is, save for the scarred tear in his left ear. It cuts through the center, splitting his ear into two tufts. He paws at it now as if to scratch Cirrus’ and Dew’s gaze off of him.

The scar piqued Mountain’s interest the first time Hank came toddling up to him, chirping with curiosity at the snack he was scarfing down after a long day of work in the greenhouse. The snack in question was of the cheesy variety, of course: a tiny bag of white cheddar popcorn.

“I see you eyeing my snack, little one,” he had said, stopping to let the raccoon brush up against his bare ankles. The animal let out a quiet chitter, staring pointedly at Mountain’s hand. His eyes had shone with a glimmer of mischief, too cute to resist. The earth ghoul sighed amusedly and tossed a few pieces of popcorn down to him.

“Just a few; I’m sure you know there’s more nutritious snacks out here for you.” He couldn’t blame him for desiring processed snacks, though, they were pretty delicious. The raccoon had taken them happily, cradling each kernel between his tiny paws and munching away with delight.

“Enjoy the treat,” Mountain trilled, reaching down to give him a tentative pet between the ears before returning to the abbey. Some may call it a mistake, but ultimately it was the start of a budding friendship between ghoul and raccoon.

Mountain started seeing him around more frequently, little eyes peeking at him from behind a tree trunk or the outcropping of rocks by the lake. He would never ignore the crinkle of a chip bag or the tasty aroma of freshly picked berries—but only ever when Mountain was alone. He felt a fondness grow for the creature, blooming to the point where he would stash a variant of cheese snack in his pockets any time he left the abbey, just in case his friend were to appear.

Naming him had been the only logical next step. “Hm,” he had pondered, holding out another cheese ball to the raccoon as they sat in Mountain’s favorite forest clearing. “What do you think about . . . Bandit?”

The little thing hissed softly, baring his tiny fangs at the suggestion. “Okay, okay, no Bandit. Um. Little One?” He snorted and began grooming himself. “You don’t complain about the nickname,” Mountain grumbled. “Okay, what about . . . Cheddar? Since you like the cheese balls so much?”

The raccoon huffed and rammed his squat body into Mountain’s thigh, banging his hard head against his leg. “Ow!” Mountain yelped, rubbing his hand over the spot he rammed into. “Lucifer, you’re like a tank,” he complained.

The raccoon had perked up at that, hopping onto Mountain’s lap and gazing up at him with those dark eyes. “Tank?” His scarred ear flicked in annoyance. He pawed at the earth ghoul’s stomach as if pleading with him to try again. “Uh, you like how it sounds? But not Tank?” The raccoon rubbed his cheek into his shirt in agreement. “Okay . . . um. Huh–Hank, then?”

He had given the most delighted scratchy squeal, flopping onto his back and snuggling further into Mountain’s lap. The earth ghoul laughed and gave him a scratch on his soft exposed tummy. “Hank it is, then.”

Mountain supposes that’s the closest he’s gotten to actually talking to animals. He says as much to Cirrus and Dew, who are currently looking at him skeptically. Somewhere in the midst of telling his story, he’s scooped up Hank into his arms, cuddling him like a baby or perhaps a small dog. His fluffy tail certainly wags like one, swishing along the earth ghoul’s forearm as he pets behind his ears.

“So is the raccoon your . . . pet, then?”

“He’s not my pet,” he sighs, letting Hank roll out of his arms and pad towards the open doorway. “He’s still a ‘wild animal,’ as you so kindly pointed out. But he’s my friend. And I like when he hangs around.”

“Well,” Cirrus chirps, “it’s kind of cute, I guess!”

“It’s fuckin’ weird,” Dew mutters.

Before Mountain can form another defense, there’s a loud screech from the doorway, followed by a soft purring meow. The three turn towards the noise in time to see Hank scampering happily around an elegant white cat.

“Ah, Juniper, lovely to see you this morning,” Mountain laughs, striding over to greet her.

“Juniper?!”

“She wasn’t so vocal about her name.” Mountain stoops down to run his hand down her back. She closes her eyes and gives a loud purr in return. “Found her in a juniper bush one day. Hank’s really taken a liking to her, as you can see.”

Dew scoffs, shaking his head. "Earth ghouls . . ."

#mushy may 2023 #ficlet #fanfic #the band ghost #shitghosting #the band ghost fanfic #mountain my love #mountain ghoul #hank the raccoon #juniper the cat #cirrus ghoulette #dewdrop ghoul

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ltwharfy · 3 months

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"Bob's Burgers" Season 4 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 4:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.59

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking Breakdown: 13 5s; 9 4s

Season as a whole thoughts:

I'm genuinely wondering if Season 4 might end up being the highest rated season when this project is all said and done. And that's interesting because it is not a season I immediately think of when I think of a season with a lot of my favorite episodes- I think of 3 and 7 first. But Season 4 is just so consistently entertaining! As I got towards the end of it, I noticed that I had not given any of the episodes a 3 yet- but looking it over again, that checks out. I'd really be happy to watch any of these episodes any time I am in the mood for "Bob's Burgers"- there isn't a "meh" or a mixed review in the bunch. And since I have already rated episodes from later seasons when I've caught them on cable, am pretty certain that this might be the only season with no 3s or lower in it.

But honestly, one of the things that really makes "Bob's Burgers" standout among TV comedies for me- and one of the things that motivated me to do this rewatch- is that I think it has been really consistently good for a really long period of time. And if Season 4 was the most really consistently good season- well, then, maybe it makes sense for it to be my (mathematically calculated) favorite! (But we've still got a lot of seasons to go...)

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"My Big Fat Greek Bob": One of the "sleeper hits" of the season- I had forgotten how much fun it was! Bob's bond with the frat guys, the kids exploring the frat house, Linda and Gretchen's "lady goods" parties- it's all a hoot! And one of the pleasures of doing this rewatch has been realizing how much I enjoy many recurring BB characters- not in a "they are my new Blorbo I must create a billion head canons about them!" way but just in a "hey, it's nice to see you in this episode!" way. So, hey, Dr. Yap, it was nice to see you in this episode!

"Turkey in a Can": One of the hardest "Bob's Burgers" questions you could ask me is to name my favorite Thanksgiving episode- making me choose between this one and "Dawn of the Peck"?! Please no! The scene in the bathroom on Thanksgiving is one of the funniest bits of chaotic humor on the show ever. If I'm not cracking up when Gayle declares "It's the end of the world!" and kisses Mort, you should check my pulse because I'm probably dead.

"Purple Rain-Union": "Won't you enter my Acropolis and make my yogurt Greek?"- how come Aunt Gayle's name never comes up when people are discussing the greatest songwriters of all time?! Also, I love the scenes with Jen (one of my all-time favorite recurring characters) in this one- especially her hilarious "pep talk" to Linda. I also love the way Louise's nonsensical "everybody gets a black eye" plan somehow works!

"Slumber Party": Yes, the slumber party plot itself is great! Yes, Jessica and all the other recurring characters who debut in this episode are great! But what I really love about this episode is the amount of screentime and dialogue devoted to Little King Trashmouth!! "It's a rac-coup d'etat!" and "Aw, babies getting rabies" are two of my favorite ever Linda quotes! Let's just say that if I lived in Seymour's Bay I would be a crazy raccoon person alongside Linda and Teddy. I love those alley rascals!

"Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial": Hey, Randy, it was nice to see you in this episode! After "Fraud of the Dead", I was thinking about Louise directing that film and also directing the Meatman film in "Ain't Miss Debtatin'" and wondering if there were any other indications in the show that she had this interest in directing. So, it was interesting to rewatch this and note that Louise not only insists that she should direct instead of Randy because she came up with the script idea, but even when Randy is directing scenes of the commercial that she is not in, you can see Louise standing next to him mimicking his actions- like, it's not just about her wanting power or not respecting Randy (although both things are true) she's genuinely interested in directing!

"The Frond Files": Our first three stories anthology! Two things I really love in this one: the way Louise writes that ridiculous argument between her and Gene at the end of her story-it's the most sibling thing ever! Also, I LOVE the coloring and designs of the "Fart School for the Gifted" segment- it's just really beautiful art to accompany a really silly story! (I also love Linda's tearful reaction to that story and Bob insisting to Frond that he ending is ambiguous). I also loved the use of black and white for (most) of Tina's zombie story.

"Mazel Tina": Another fun thing of the rewatch has been noticing story types/structures that the show reuses that I enjoy- and this is one of them, where the Belchers are go to a place together (Tammy's bat mitzvah) and then all have separate little adventures there ("Mutiny on the Windbreaker" and "Legends of the Mall", are among other stories of that type). I particularly enjoy Louise in this one- Louise talking Janet into quitting her job and following her dreams is hilarious, as is all the Tammy-Louise interaction. One of the things that makes Tammy a great recurring character is that she has her own different dynamics with each of the Belcher siblings- they all mess with her, but in completely different ways.

"The Kids Rob A Train": So, as I have written in other long posts and in fics, one of the reasons I enjoy Louise and Rudy's friendship is that we can see it evolve over time. They don't automatically become besties after "Carpe Museum"- in this one Rudy tells Beanbag that he knows the Belchers from school, not that they are his friends. And I think we see some key moments in the development of their friendship in this one- Rudy's patience with Louise's siblings during his presentation about the train, Rudy and Louise's back-and-forth as he tries to get her to hand him the chocolate through the window, and his fake allergic severe reaction and her panicked response. But even if you aren't as obsessed with that relationship as I am, this episode has tons of great things- Bob's "friendship" with "Ramon" the boy riding the bike next to the train, Gene's outfit, the thrilling musical score!

"The Kids Run Away": Another sleeper hit that I never really appreciated until this rewatch. I particularly love that Gayle is actually helpful in resolving the Louise cavity crisis in this episode. Yes, Gayle has a LOT of issues, but I think she does try to be a good aunt and a good sister.

The "How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town" two-parter: Most of the time, my ratings are mainly based on how much I enjoy the comedy, story, and character beats of the episode- I haven't really rated any episodes up or down based on how they look visually- and I readily concede that is not really my wheelhouse, I don't really know much about evaluating animation or direction in animation from a technical perspective. That being said, both parts of this two parter were probably the first episodes of the show where I repeatedly thought about how beautiful it was! There are many great shots that make the episodes seem more cinematic or theatrical (the spotlights on the singers during the musical numbers) rather than "just" an episode of television. The view of the town when Bob and Calvin are on top of the rollercoaster is particularly great. And I love how they brought back so many recurring characters, even if it was just for silent cameos (like Darryl and Logan being in the background for part of "Bad Things Are Bad")! This episode really shows how much the show had grown over four seasons- how it had developed a setting and a ton of characters, both supporting and main, so that you really cared about them. A fantastic ending for a fantastic season!

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-This season seems to have more plots involving Bob working somewhere other than the restaurant ("My Big Fat Greek Bob", "Bob and Deliver") and more plots about the family or members of it being in physical jeopardy (the first three episodes, "Christmas in the Car", the two-part season finale) than most seasons. I remember noticing that when it was first airing and worrying that it was a trend that might lead to the show becoming less grounded (like "The Simpsons") and that if we got to 10+ seasons we'd be seeing stories about Bob becoming a temporary chef for NASA and the family being stranded on the International Space Station or nonsense like that. Obviously, this concern was misplaced. if anything, the show has become more grounded as it's gone on, making episodes about things my retired aunt and uncle do as hobbies (birdwatching, hunting for mushrooms).

-I try not to nitpick jokes, but it bugs me in "Mazel Tina" when Gene yells "One Luftballoon!" after seeing Tina's blood red face. Yes, the English version of Nena's "99 Luftballoons" was "99 Red Balloons"- but "luft" doesn't mean "red" in German, it means "air" and "luftballoon" just means "balloon"-it has nothing to do with it being red! So, he's just saying Tina's red face looks like a balloon, which is an odd joke. Sorry, this is incredibly dumb, but y'know I took German for two years in high school and I need to use it occasionally so I don't feel like I wasted that time...

Thanks for reading! See you in Season 5!

#bob's burgers #bob's burgers season 4 #bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch #long post

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questionable-chnt-hc · 8 months

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Syd doesn’t care about the difference between domesticated cats and raccoons

He disappeared into the forest one day and was missing for a good week

When he came back, he was incredibly beaten up, but holding a raccoon under his arms

The raccoon was hissing and spitting and clearly had rabies but when Jedidiah asked, Syd just smiled and said “we’ve bonded!”

The raccoon lives in the Nurse’s Cabin and has a rivalry with Jedidiah and Joshua. It loves Syd and Natsume.

It still has rabies but doesn’t ever die

It’s name is Petey and Sydney had BEGGED Lucille to make it the official camp mascot on several occasions

#camp here and there #ch&t #chnt #sydney sargent #jedidiah martin #joshua macheath

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 2 years

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idk who else to ask so. do you think it is shitty to report someone in my neighborhood with an illegal pet raccoon? everyone around me is saying it’d be cruel because it would be euthanized and with its owner it is loved and housed and treated like a dog when in the wild it would die. but i don’t feel like it’s right….it is fully vaccinated for rabies etc. but the guy said the name + practice of his vet who isn’t even a wildlife vet. he regularly walks it in a dog harness and it plays with his dogs. im conflicted

It is not unethical to report someone illegally possessing wildlife. That animal will not live a good quality of life in captivity. Euthanasia is not cruel; it is sometimes the most kind option. Whether it will actually be euthanized depends on local laws. There is also not a vaccine for raccoon roundworm, and if the animal is being given dewormer designed for dogs instead that is perhaps not a good idea for the health of this very much wild animal. Legally in the US the rabies vaccine is not approved for wildlife, as in, if the raccoon bites someone it may still be seized and euthanized based on local guidelines for anti-rabies action.

And the only reason they have that raccoon is because they kidnapped a baby from the wild. They need to have that animal removed from them both for public safety and wildlife ethics.

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the-haunted-office · 7 months

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"Look what I found, it's a racoon! It was rummaging in our trashcan! I called it AM, fitting name, right Auntie?" (Tau to Thursday 😂)

As soon as Thursday sees the raccoon, she puts a hand over her mouth. Not from shock or fear or disgust, but from the undiluted hilarity of it.

She knows this raccoon. The chubbiness of it is quite distinct, as are the mark around the eyes. She's only surprised the raccoon's little backpack isn't with it.

The raccoon is just hanging there limply, her eyes staring right at Thursday. A silent exchange takes place and Thursday knows that she can't let Tau know that this raccoon is actually her creator, the Author.

"Oh, look at it! Raccoons are so cute! AM is a good name for it, you're right. Let's hope it doesn't have rabies like he does, eh?" she snickers. "You know what looks cute on raccoons?"

The Author silently narrows her eyes at Thursday.

Thursday grins. "Tiny little dresses."

The Author's eyes pop back open and she immediately starts scrambling to get away while trying not to scratch Tau or cause him too much distress. He may not be her nephew, but she adores him all the same.

"Come on, let's dress it up!" Thursday says, waving for Tau to follow her.

#drchandras sanctuary for ais #hehehe

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blackbearmagic · 2 years

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I came across a post of yours about rabies, and 1. Rabies does NOT make raccoon eyes glow green. Canine distemper can, but not rabies. A google search will confirm this, as will an in-depth look at scholarly sources. 2. I don't know what kind of facility you worked in, but it sounds shady af. What kind of director opens a carrier suspected to contain a rabid animal while non-employees are in the room? The fact that it was sedated doesn't matter. It's a HUGE liability and incredibly dangerous.

Oh that’s neat. I actually didn’t know that about distemper!! I guess that’s what that raccoon had... I wish I could go back and edit that post with this information.

And, uh. Yeah. This place was actually very shady. When I was working there (back in 2015), I was young, stupid, hungry for experience working with any kind of animal, and I missed so many red flags about this place.

Like the fact that non-vaccinated “employees” were supposedly not allowed to work with rabies vector species, but I worked the overnights, usually alone. So I was told that I was forbidden to work with the baby raccoons, but also told that mammals at that age are so delicate and really do need feeding every couple hours, oh well, they’ll probably be fine until morning, don’t touch the raccoons Suzanne, Jenny will be by in the morning and they’ll probably be okay, maybe just hungry and dehydrated, but they’ll probably perk right back up. Like I was told not to interact with them and guilt-tripped into doing it anyway, and was actually praised when I went against “orders”.

Really, when the fucking Natural Resources Police came in one morning in full riot gear, ordered everyone out of the building, and conducted a full inspection/investigation of the place, that should have been my clue to get the fuck out of dodge.

But I was, what, like 23 and an idiot. I kept working there even as the clinic director was building his case against charges of animal cruelty. No one came after me, thankfully, because I guess they (rightly) figured I was just a hapless pawn who was acting in good faith and didn’t know the full extent of how absolutely fucked up everything around me was. I stayed on until the end of baby season and then fucked right off.

Anyway, if you were to google the name of this place, the first result is a local paper’s article about how this pillar of the community was actually shady as fuck. Whoops.

#the Bear roars #I guess that post is making the rounds again #I have three anons in my inbox talking about it

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soir-rouges-esprit · 2 months

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xxv.d: Destroyer, “*Scream* WOAH!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?! YOU HAVE A FUCKING RACOON IN YOUR BAG” ... Ein scared, let out a little squeak, and dug deep into the bag to hide. Uhhh … Yea! And you just scared him! Nice going prick. Come here! tuka tuka tuka, come on! the evil little demon won't hurt you. “You KNEW it was in there!!!” Of Course! And … IT'S … name, ls … Ein. “Uhhhh Okay!?! Why the fuck do you have a baby Racoon? And WHY did you bring him here???” He was all alone and was clearly interested in me, he was walking all over my face when I woke up today, he seemed lost and scared … soooo … I've adopted him! “*Sigh* Why must you insist on making friends with strays? Do YOU EVEN KNOW IF HE'S SAFE TO HAVE???” Look at him! He wouldn't/couldn't hurt a fly … or well, maybe a fly, but not a Frog! … I start to pet Ein on his head as he pokes his head back out; isn't that right Ein! Yes! yes no you won't hurt anyone Noooo tch tch tch good boy. “I MEANT … Diseases! … fucking idiot, aren't raccoons carriers of rabies??” They can yeah … but only transmit it through biting, scratching, and getting secretions into your body, but he'd have to be rabid to do that … Which he is not! Thank You! And I'll have you know most diseases that raccoons carry are really only transmitted through their poop, so as long as you're careful, it's fine! “You are so gonna get some kind of worm or bacterial infection … and it'll be ME, taking care of you, fuck ass” Well looks like we have a plan then if that Happens!!! Now stop it … he's a hungry little cowboy bounty hunter and needs food because he is a strong boy. *Squeak* “You haven't found the shade with brains yet have you? Ok fine … what does … Ein … eat?” Well … tbh, I don't know what you're supposed to feed raccoons… but he loves granola bars. “You've fed him granola bars?” Yea! “Red, look at him! He's tiny, he can't even be a couple months old, he can't eat granola bars! Nor should he probably, he needs like … milk and stuff … he's just a baby and his stomach probably isn't developed enough to process that kind of stuff” She went and picked Ein up, started to pet him, and cradle him. “You can't just kidnap a baby raccoon and then proceed to mishandle/take care of him” I thought it was fine … look he's all chipper and ok. He closed his eyes and curled up in her hand, and started to pur. “You don't know if he's fine, we need to research this and take him to a vet, to make sure he's fine” Mmm … I mean yeah, probably right with that. “I'm gonna go research on what we should feed him and look up veterinarians in our area just in case, why I'm doing that … ”she grabbed a towel from the chair out of the recently washed laundry and threw it at me. I catch it. “Go take a shower and leave your clothes out, I'll throw them in the wash, I still have some old shorts of yours you can wear … I'll leave them on the sink” Yea yeah… got it … and … thanks. “No problem, and always … we'll talk more later, wanna know how you're holding up. But first ... ” *She pointed at the bathroom* “Shower stinky” *I grin and walk off to the shower (with full sass).* As I wash myself up, down, front to back, left and yes … right … I started to null over the lingering sound that had started to intensify since I arrived at The Over Garden, just general voices that were chatting away in the background, things being said such as ... [To Be Continued]

#creative writing #writing #original story #the imp

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justasimplesinner · 3 years

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Bro can I get mof and arkam Eddie with an s/o that loves animals to the point were if a wild/domestic animal so much as walks up to them unprompted they stop what they're doing and bring it home like "So this is our new child and you're their father now" or alternatively "Hey I found this on our driveway and I need to get to work hold this" and dumps a rabbit into their arms and bolts out the door.

Shat this request out just for you bro

patiently waiting for the 2nd girl with a cup (i hope no one gets this traumatising reference and if u do, just know that youre not alone in this)

Masters of Fear!Jon with a crazy animal person hcs:

his face is constantly the epitome of "excuse me but what the fuck?"

the first time you pulled shit like this, his mind just stopped fucking functioning for a moment. he's just sitting there, almost calmly (since his heart always races around you), waiting for you on the couch to read with you as you throw out some trash, and suddenly finds himself with a whole ass raccoon with babies (and possibly rabies) on it's back in his lap as you "make a quick meal for the poor thing". he was utterly frozen in his seat, eyes staring into the furry things crawling around in his lap, his fingers digging into the couch in fear of his life because this fucking thing could bite him and scratch him and give him every possible disease under the sun while you're whistling carelessly in the kitchen, making some meat and looking for crackers the raccoons could snack on. ("you want to feed 'em a little snack? look at their pleading little eyes-" "absolutely not, please get them off of me" "look at my pleading little eyes-")

after learning that this is just a thing you do, your little quirk 'cause you ain't like other bitches, he's less and less phased with every animal but he will never get used to this. what even prompts you to do this and how have you not died yet? he once saw you trying to feed and pet baby bears and the fucking momma bear rounded up on you and Jon swore his heart stopped dead in it's tracks cuz he thought you was 'bout to get fucking devoured alive

i mean, he has his crows, and they're definitely not domesticated, but you're taking it a step too far. you came back with a fucking deer following you into the house and you were just supposed to go to the grocery store! ( "i named him 'coat rack' :)" "if you don't get this thing out of my house i will turn it into a trophy on the wall" ":(" )

basically just

Arkham!Ed with a crazy animal person hcs:

oh, hey darling, what have you got there- oH MY GOD GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF HERE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KICK IT INTO THE SUN-

does not consent to your actions at all. he is terrified. Eddie isn't fond of animals and animals aren't fond of him. as a child, he always wanted a pet but he never had one, and he had a traumatising encounter with a stray dog once which left him a little wary around big animals. if he had to chose, he's most fond of cats, but despite being a grown man, he still flinches and is scared to approach them whenever they hiss or sharpen their claws. he just can't get along with animals, unlike you

he hates that habit of yours. he remembers sleeping in bed with you one time, happily fucking cuddling and then feeling something slither against his bare legs. the girly shriek he let out as he jumped out of bed and the horrified scream that escaped his throat as he actually saw a fucking snake under the covers did everlasting damage to your eardrums. ("it's just a ball python, he's harmless" "GET THIS FUCKING THING AWAY FROM ME AND MY BED I SWEAR TO GOD-")

it's such a distraction when he works, too - sometimes, you just burst in, a ball of fluff in your arms as you dump it in his lap while he's in the middle of welding some shit, telling him you have things to do and he has to take care of it for a moment. well, guess what - he has things to do too! and he's also scared of this fluffy white rabbit god dammit, the wretched thing started humping his leg, what is he even supposed to do in that situation? he had half the mind to use the welder but he's not that heartless. other times, he's peacefully coding away until suddenly everything fucking shuts down and his progress is lost because you thought bringing a beaver into the safehouse was a good idea and it got into his workshop, started building a metal fucking dam and chewing on cords! this is a fucking nightmare

he begrudgingly has to admit you're making him get used to animals and his fear isn't as prominent as it was before. but i guess that's the way shit goes when you fucking make him pet an alligator that was crawling around in your sewer and that somehow didn't bite your ass off, instead only enjoying the meat you fed it with

#jonathan crane #scarecrow #the scarecrow #masters of fear #mof #riddler #the riddler #edward nigma #edward nygma #edward nashton #arkhamverse #my writing #headcannons #fluff??#general dumbassery #and straight out bullshit #panshrekual iii

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alrightberries · 3 years

Text

glimpse of me and you

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff. ❈ word count: 2.6k

❈ summary: It’s your first day out of the Underground District and on the surface. Levi helps you get settled.

❈ trigger warnings: profanity.

a/n: i would like to confess that i was in A Mood.

mini sequel: truly, madly, deeply

i. morning

The first thing you noticed was that it was bright. Too bright.

Not the kind of brightness you saw in the warm glowing lamps that littered the Underground District, but the kind that made your eyes squint and feel sore- like they were going to pop out of your head any time soon. Your hand slips out of Levi’s to block out the light hurting your irises.

He stops walking up the staircase and turns to look at you.

“Here.” He murmurs. He places down the boxes he was holding and takes off his green Survey Corps cape, draping it around your shoulders and clasping it at the front before drawing the hood over your face. The sunlight is no longer as harsh.

“Better?” He asks, and you nod.

“Much. Thank you, Levi.”

He hums in acknowledgement, one hand picking up the boxes with your luggage and the other one slipping through yours to slowly lead you up the staircase once more. He could tell from how you squeezed his hand and kept taking deep breaths behind him that you were nervous. He couldn’t blame you, either. He remembers being the same with Isabel and Farlan two years ago.

Two years. That’s how long it’s been since he was captured and taken to the surface. Since last saw your face and heard his name slip from your lips.

It took the better part of two years to barely scrape up enough money to buy you citizenship, but as he leads you through the stairway with your warm hand in his, he knows he wouldn’t hesitate do it all again.

For you.

“It’s going to be brighter once we reach the surface.” He says. The last step of the stairway was nearing. “I know you won’t, but close your eyes if you have to. You might get disoriented if you don’t.”

True to his words, you did end up getting disoriented because you refused to close your eyes. But really now, how could you? 26 years you’ve waited for this day to come. And you would be damned if you didn’t take everything in the second you set foot above ground for the first time.

As you reached the surface, Levi notices you flinching, turning your head away from the light and gritting your teeth once you set foot on the cobble stoned streets above. Despite your clear discomfort at the brightness, you made no move to close your eyes. In fact, you even braved to let them roam around.

“Stubborn dumbass.” He scolds quietly.

He leads you a little ways off from the exit of the stairway to put your stuff in the small wagon in front of you. The small wagon was drawn by a gorgeous black horse, and you realize that this was probably the beloved mare Levi spoke of in his letters.

“Is this Estreya?” You ask. Levi hums in agreement and takes the last box you were holding to place it with the rest of your luggage with a low grunt.

When he looks back at you he notices your eyes are still squinted, but your teeth were no longer gritted. The hood was still drawn over your face and one of your hands was still shielding your eyes from the burning light. You weren’t even going to lie, you were half terrified that your eyes were going to melt from how hot the sun was.

“Have you ever ridden a horse before?”

You scoff. “Yeah, because horses are really common in the Underground.”

He doesn’t reply to your quip. Though the way his eyebrows relax and his lips twitch up in the slightest doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Ride the wagon. You’ll fall on your ass if you try to go on horseback.”

“If you say so, Captain Levi.”

It was now his turn to grit his teeth. He knew he shouldn’t have told you about his promotion.

“Tch, just get on. Or I’ll leave you stranded in Wall Sina.”

ii. noon

The wagon ride to Wall Rose was something you could only describe as ethereal.

You hadn’t the faintest idea the sky was so big and blue, and how fluffy the clouds seemed to be. The sky seemed to stretch for miles and miles, and knowing that there wasn’t a ceiling above you almost made you want to cry.

Wall Sina was beautiful, as well. Especially the market. The market you passed by almost made you want to stop the wagon and drag Levi from stall to stall to see what they had. They housed probably the most vibrant colored fruits and vegetables you’ve ever seen, and the smell of freshly baked bread made your mouth water. Not to mention, the air didn’t smell like moisture or piss or shit.

“Don’t get any ideas.” He says, noticing your longing stare at the colorful tents. “You look like you’re about to jump off the wagon.”

“Will you leave me stranded if I do?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

Undoubtedly, though, your favorite view from the ride would be what Levi called “the suburbs.”

The tallness of the trees. The freshness of the air. The sounds of ruffling leaves. Birds and critters running around the ground and flying through the sky. The beautiful greens and blues were the biggest contrast to the drab grays and blacks you typically saw in the Underground District, and now you understood why Levi was so hellbent on taking you to the surface and never looking back.

“We’re almost there.” You hear him call out from in front of you.

Your eyes stop wandering around what Levi called a “valley”. You look past his figure sitting on the horse, spotting a castle made of bricks. It looked small from this distance but the closer you got, the more you realized that distance could be deceiving.

“Is that the Survey Corps’ base?”

“No, it’s a fucking circus.” He replies sarcastically.

“What’s a circus?”

“It’s— nevermind.”

iii. afternoon

When you got to Levi’s private quarters, you didn’t hesitate to ask for a spare towel so you could take a shower.

You didn’t even bother kissing him or unpacking your things or… making up for lost time, if you will. Instead you made a beeline for the private bathroom connected to his bedroom and spent a good hour inside, talking to him through the door about how you’ve been looking forward to taking a proper shower all week. Levi had to drag you out and stop you from wasting more of the Survey Corps’ water reservoir.

“So, let me get this straight.” You mutter.

You were sitting on his bed and he was sitting on a chair across from you. Your hair was still damp and your upper half was clad in a spare Survey Corps button down, while your bottom half was clad in nothing but your underwear.

Levi had complained that your clothes from the Underground were too dirty and would have to be washed. You called him rude, only relenting when he offered to do your laundry. But he wasn’t about to complain about the extra chores when it gave him this view.

“You’ve been captain for an entire year and only bothered to tell last week?”

“Yes.” Came his stoic reply.

“But why?!”

“I’m not hearing the end of this any time soon, am I?”

Before you could respond, Levi hears loud banging from his office door (which you noticed was connected to his bedroom) and he sighs as he wordlessly covers your bare legs with a blanket. Confused eyes met his, and all he could do was shrug as he heard the office door breakdown. The loud banging was now being directed at the bedroom door, the only thing separating you from what you assumed was some rabid raccoon.

“Levi motherfucking Ackerman!” You hear someone shriek from the other side of the wood. Okay, so maybe it’s not a rabid raccoon. “Open this door right this instant!”

You hear the lock clicking and the knob turning rapidly. Despite knowing you should probably be scared, you can’t help but smile at Levi’s clear irritation. It wasn’t the genuine kind of irritation. It was the kind he showed to Isabel— the one where he pretends to be annoyed but secretly enjoys their company.

“It’s not locked, four-eyes.” He replies.

Ah, so this must be the Hange he’s been complaining about.

“Then why can’t I open it?!”

“It’s push, not pull.”

Immediately, the banging stops, and silence takes over the room. But the silence is short lived when Hange suddenly kicks the door open and you jump from surprise.

“Don’t think that I wouldn’t find out about you bringing a civilian to the base, Ackerman!” Hange points an accusing finger at Levi’s bored face.

“I’d be more surprised if you didn’t. Considering I asked you to sign the authorization letter.”

The soldier ignores Levi’s quip and quickly makes their way over to you, sitting down next to your side and extending a hand.

“The name’s Hange Zoe, Section Commander of the Survey Corps. And you are?”

You warily accept their offer of a handshake. Your eyes briefly flit over to where Levi was still sat, relaxing a bit when he nods to your silent question of whether or not it was safe.

“Y/N.” You give them a polite smile.

“When Moblit told me Levi brought a civilian to the base, I was ecstatic!”

What the fuck is a Moblit? You wonder.

Your hands were still joined, and you weren’t sure if prolonged and drawn out handshakes were a custom of the surface. Not wanting to be rude, you continued to shake Hange’s hand, nodding along as they continued on.

“I didn’t peg shorty as the type to play boyfriend.”

“Neither did I.” You chuckled. “But he’s been more than wonderful. He’s more than I could ever ask for.”

Levi bites back the smile teasing his lips.

“Stop shaking Hange's hand. You’ll catch rabies or some shit.”

iv. evening

It was nearing six o’clock when Levi finally convinced Hange to go away, but only with the promise that he would introduce you to his squadron later at dinner. Normally he’d detest the idea of sharing intimate details about his personal life, but as he listens to you ask question after question about the surface, he deems the small sacrifice was more than worth this small moment with you.

“You said the surface was going to be hot. Why is it so cold now?” You ask, settling into the bed. Levi lifts up the blanket and begins to lie down beside you.

“Because it’s almost night.” He says simply. “It’s hot in the day and cold in the night.”

“Is it always like that?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “It depends on the season.”

He feels you shift closer to him, lifting his arm up and placing it around your waist as your head rests on his chest. He takes a deep breath, and the smell that was so uniquely you fills up his lungs. He almost hums in delight because it’s been two years; he hasn’t had this in two years, and no force on earth could ever take it away from him again.

“Season?” You murmur, sleepy eyes staring into his.

Levi immediately knows that you’re a bedtime story away from snoozing, and he figures the fatigue is to be expected. You were, after all, being introduced to too many things at once. And judging by the bags under your eyes, you were probably too happy about going to the surface to get any sleep last night.

“Yeah. There are four seasons above ground: winter, summer, spring, and fall. Right now, it’s spring.”

“Will you tell me about the seasons?”

He feels you shift, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

“You missed.”

You smile. A hand gently reaches out to grasp his chin, pulling his face towards yours to give him a gentle kiss. When you try to pull away, Levi pulls you back in.

“If you’re going to kiss me, do it properly.” He muses as your lips broke apart. The arm wrapped around your waist holds onto you a little tighter as you relax to his side once again, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. His thumb rubs small, gentle circles into your arm.

“The flowers bloom in spring. Everything blooms.” He explains. “In fall, the temperature gets colder so the leaves start changing colors.”

“What colors do they become?”

“Mostly brown or orange.”

You nod.

“In winter, that’s when things start getting really cold. Colder than the Underground. Snow starts falling and everything gets covered in it. It’s annoying.”

“But don’t you use winter as an excuse to... y’know, convince your bosses to spend more money on tea leaves?”

It was now his turn to nod, and you merely let out a chuckle. He feels your breath fanning against his neck and he doesn’t stop his head from lulling into yours. He really did miss having you in his arms.

“Figures.” You yawn. “You’re obsessed with that stuff.”

He feels a sleepy kiss press against his collarbones, and he places a tender kiss to your forehead.

“Get some sleep.” He murmurs. “I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

“But you haven’t told me about summer yet.”

A small smile makes its way to his lips, and Levi was thankful that you couldn’t see. He’d never hear the end of your teasing if you did.

“If I tell you, will you stop annoying me?”

“Possibly.”

“Okay.”

v. midnight

The first thing Levi notices is that it was dark. Too dark.

A brief glimpse out his open window confirms his suspicions that it was, indeed, night time. He probably slept through dinner.

The second thing Levi notices is that his entire right side was numb and there was a heavy weight on his body, some of it crushing his arm. He hears your sleepy voice mumble his name in your sleep, and he relaxes once he remembers the events of today.

He kept his promise.

You had an entire future ahead of you, and Levi’s heart warms at the thought. Sure, you were a civilian who couldn’t stay in the Survey Corps base forever; and he should probably start helping you job hunt so you could both start saving up for a new house. He’d fight you tooth and nail if you tried to join the military though, and something tells him you probably wouldn’t listen.

But he kept his promise. And that’s all that mattered for now.

He hears you shift in his arms before taking a sharp inhale, and your eyes sleepily open. They glance around the room, trying to remember where you were, before landing on him. A small smile teases your lips, adoration blossoming in your heart at the man in front of you.

“What time is it?” You softly ask. One of your hands reaches out to rub your eyes before he feels a warm palm come to rest on his stomach.

“Late.” He replies. His free hand lands on your soft cheek, and he tilts your head down so he can kiss your forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

You only nod, too tired to argue. You break free from his grasp and Levi is momentarily disappointed when you turn the other way. But then your hand reaches out behind you to sling his arm over your waist, and he shifts closer when he realizes you wanted to spoon.

“So I don’t kill your arm.” You explain quietly.

Levi presses his chest to your back and his leg wraps around yours. His nose is buried into the crown of your hair and he couldn’t help but take a deep inhale and close his eyes. Your hand intertwines with the one slung around your waist, and he feels you lift up your conjoined hands to place a kiss to his knuckles.

“I love you, Levi.”

This time, Levi doesn’t bother to hide his smile. It wasn’t the first time you’ve said I love you, and it definitely wasn’t going to be the last. But it would never cease to amaze Levi how just three short words could turn his stoic and uninterested demeanor into one of smiles that reached his eyes.

“Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

“Marry me.”

mini sequel: truly, madly, deeply

If you want to be added to the tag list, click this link!

#i figured since i wrote a rlly angsty smut #i should write a rlly soft fluff #and this happened #also i was in A Mood #writing #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi imagine #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #aot imagine #attack on titan imagine #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk imagine #shingeki no kyojin imagine

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youarejesting · 3 years

Text

Sly like a... ? Part 15

[Full Masterlist] [Sly Master List]

Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All (Marked Chapters 18+) Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, a slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have any plot in those chaptrs and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story.

Summary: Humans strive to be better, faster, and stronger by looking at animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[First] [Prev] [Next]

Sprinting out of bed and down the hall you were met with a strange sight, there was something running on the top shelves of the kitchen. Yoongi was swiping at it with a broom and Taehyung was shouting for him to shoo him outside.

“Hey!” You called loudly and everyone froze even the fluff ball on the top of the cabinets. “Listen, the poor thing is going to have a heart attack, waving a broom around like a mad man is scaring it.”

Yoongi nodded, putting the broom back down letting out a small growl under his breath, “the thing probably has rabies,” Yoongi huffed while sitting on a bar stool with the others.

“Hey there little guy, come down here, I promise none of the boys will hurt you.” The fluff began descending the spice shelf by the sink and landed hesitantly behind the bread. “See, I’m nice. Would you like something to eat?”

You grabbed the blueberries from the fridge and popped a few in your mouth before offering some to the tiny creature. When it didn’t move from behind the bread box you rolled a few towards it, a clawed hand snatched the berry before snatching another and another.

Stopping in hopes the creature would come out searching for more, you had to suppress a giggle when a tiny head popped up from behind the bread box. Two big round eyes surrounded by dark fur as if the mischievous creature was wearing a bandit mask.

“Oh aren’t you beautiful, you want some more my little friend?” you called holding out the blueberries watching as it crawled up your arm and sat like a toddler on your hip. “You are friendly aren’t you. With your cute little ears, we have a raccoon in the house too, his name is Seokjin.”

As if saying some sort of magic word the raccoon dog stretched and grew in your hands until you fell from the sudden and odd distribution of weight. Seokjin was on top of you looking sheepish and scared. “I am sorry, I am so sorry.”

You couldn’t help but freeze up in shock, the others were so confused. You looked at Seokjin who had openly started to sob in your shirt, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey Jin, calm down.” You sat up, lifting his head and wiping his tears on your sleeve. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I didn’t tell you cause I was scared everyone who ever adopted me sent me back scared I had diseases and said I was a filthy animal. I tried to be good.” He cried again, his ears folded down and he looked heartbroken.

You hadn’t realized he felt this way, that he had walls around him just like Yoongi because he didn’t let you see that he was scared. He played his part perfectly so you would never know, he never complained and never brought attention to himself. The first to act and help and always agreeing with you.

“Jin, honey, come with me to your room, and let’s have a talk. okay?” you took his hands and his crying grew louder as if he truly thought you could give him back. You squeezed his hands and walked him down the hall, ignoring the whispers from the other five hybrids.

“I’m sorry I never told you I thought I could hide it.” He said and you smiled sitting down beside him on the bed.

“Jin, tell me about it, how it works and everything,” you asked, taking his hand.

“Uh well…The Tanuki or the Neoguri is something called a yokai,” Seokjin tried to find the right words.

“I am familiar with Yokai.”

In the year 720 stories began circling about the Tanuki, they were recorded to be tricksters who liked to make fun of humans and could change their appearance.

The Tanuki would turn into humans and go into the town drinking and at the end of the night after they had paid their bill and left the money would turn to leaves.

The Tanuki had one rival and that was the Kitsune or Gumiho. They were not rivals at first the two were quite happy beside one another, but the Tanuki played a trick that cost the kitsune its life.

It started a war and the two became sworn enemies.

“My family lived in the wild. They told me the stories but one day I was taken.” Seokjin said, struggling to remember the events from his childhood, “My attempts at disguise weren’t the best, unable to hide my ears and tail. This meant I easily passed for a hybrid and saved my life.”

“I have been in adoption centers many times as my owners find out and send me back.” He sighed, “I understand that you won’t want me that’s okay,”

“Jin,” you sighed, exasperated by his lack of faith in you, his readiness to give up, “Kim Seokjin look at me.”

He turned his shiny round eyes landed on you, you were taken back by his handsome features but pressed on anyway. “Can you show me how you transform?”

“I-I can try?” He admitted his ears tipped red he hadn’t been asked to do that before. Seokjin stood up and began changing slowly his body shrank and you felt an odd sensation, your body feeling like it was floating for a moment.

Seokjin as a small raccoon dog clambered back onto the bed and sat beside you turning back into himself. “It doesn’t scare you or make you feel sick?”

“No, it kind of makes me feel better, Jin I have a secret very similar to yours, I can’t say much now but I won’t abandon you. Trust me and I hope you can accept me when the time comes.” You blushed

He hugged you pressing his nose into your neck nuzzling and scenting the area happily. “I will accept you. I think I have an idea but I will wait for you to explain.”

There was something about Seokjin revealing his identity and abilities that eased your mind, you thought perhaps between him and Felix you would learn how to control your change as well.

Perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad after all, and if the boys could accept Jin then you were sure they would accept you.

It warmed your heart that finally, Jin seemed honest, that he wasn’t guarding his emotions. You were always too distracted by someone or something else in the house to ever notice or have the time to address Seokjin.

But now that he had opened up you took the chance to hear his thoughts and feelings. “Tell me what you think of living here, do you like it?”

“It is hard to put into words, I like having little brothers and people to talk to and freedom and my own room and…” he blushed looking away “I like you.”

“Oh thank you,” your face felt like it was burning. “I am glad you like it here and everyone, would you change anything if you could?”

“Um… I would love to make more food. I like cooking with you and Yoongi. I want to try more things.” He said “I would like it if we could spend more time together, I like when we play games and chat”

“Alright, I think we can do that.” You breathed standing and looking over your shoulder. “Oh and Jin?”

“Mm..” he looked up nervously.

“I like you too, I am glad out of all the hybrids I found you, you complete our little family.” You swore you saw his eyes well up and as you opened the door you saw Yoongi standing there fidgeting with his fingers.

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isitbussinjanelle · 3 years

Text

Meet Leroy

Raya: I got a dog. Deal with it.

Namaari: okay I guess- AAHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK THAT

Raya: [holds up a raccoon] My doggy! :)

Raccoon: [growling]

Namaari: WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND IT.

Raya: noi gave it to me. She’s running this animal shelter down the street.

Namaari:

Namaari: [sighs] was it a trash bin.

Raya:

Raya: m-maybe...BUT LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE!

Namaari: WERE NOT KEEPING IT YOUR GONNA GET RABIES

Raya: WE ARE KEEPING HIM. HIS NAME IS LEROY.

Namaari: RAYA NO-

*later at dinner*

Boun: I thought you guys weren’t keeping that thing.

Raccoon: [struggling and squirming in a high chair]

Raya: I talked Namaari into it.

Namaari: no, you threatened to never be little spoon again.

Raya: it worked didn’t it? Didn’t it Leroy? :)

Raccoons mind: lord get me out of this hell hole I’ll be good I swear

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flamingredanon · 3 years

Note

I wanna hear your take on Fresh and Wilfilth. Or Kitty and his Terrence. Feel free to dm for my notes

Sir Wilford IV sat in his office, trying to cover his ears from the screaming heard all the way over at the medical ward. Wilford knows he should be at Randy's side, providing support and comfort. But... Randy was changing into... something not of this world. Would that really be Randy after he transforms?

"Listen Wilfy, whatever shot at me didn't hurt that much. I didn't even get a gnarly scar from that! But if it makes you feels better though, I'll swing by med bay tomorrow."

Maybe if Wilford was more stern in taking Randy to get seen by their doctors on the day that strange laser hit Randy, maybe all this could of been averted.

"Hey... could you take me... to med bay. I'm tired... so, so tired... not even an entire... pot of coffee could shake... this tiredness. Wilfy... please..."

Wilford saw how tired Randy was that day. And how once he got into the hospital bed, Randy fell into a deep sleep. Wilford didn't even know how long Randy was out for, he was too busy burying him in Toppat paperwork or organizing things around the Airship, just so he didn't have to be there with Randy. He had already felt so guilty.

"Everything hurts Wilford, everything hurts, everything hurts, EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE!"

Wilford saw Randy scream and writhing in pain, he saw Randy's face partially melting into black goop, and he didn't want to see anymore. If Wilford was being honest with himself, he felt ill looking at Randy... if that was Randy at all anymore.

Sure Wilford has seen some shit, hell he has caused some shit himself. But that wasn't normal shit happening to Randy.

Was whatever happening to Randy contagious? Would Randy be another TRNK and run rampant, hurting and killing Toppats in his wake. Those thoughts filled Wilford's mind as tightly covers his ears more, desperate in shutting out Randy's excruciating screams.

And then it hit Wilford, Randy was much like an animal with rabies that needed to be put down. It pained him to think of it that way, especially with someone as close to him as Randy, but it was for the best, especially for the clan and the growing guilt he wants quelled.

---

Wilford wheeled Randy's hospital bed slowly to the cockpit and to the outside. This was the safest way to dispose of Randy, to make sure he didn't come back. Randy looked up at Wilford and asked what he was doing, his face half dripping and covered with an odd visor now, so unhuman now. Wilford was honest with Randy, he was putting the safety of the clan first.

No matter how many times Randy begged Wilford to stop, his voice having an almost electronic like reverb to it, Wilford did not. Wilford walked the hospital bed outside of the Airship, and briefly hesitated. Was this the right thing to do?

Wilford just looked at the warped body of his friend, and then pushed him off.

It was done, Wilford had put an end to Randy and his suffering. Wilford went inside the cockpit and just sat down on the floor, back against the cold metal wall. It was for the good of the clan, Wilford kept mumbling to himself, trying to find a reason for murdering his suffering friend.

Suddenly the Airship's front windows shatter, throwing glass everywhere and an unholy sound was heard reverberating soon after.

"WILFORD! OH WILFORD!"

Wilford's blood ran cold, it couldn't be, it just couldn't be! But it was, flying straight towards Wilford at an ungodly speed was Randy Radman himself. Wilford let out a whimper as Randy grabbed his coat and flung him out the front window of the Airship.

Wilford saw the ground getting closer and closer, he was going to die, he was going to die in the same way he tried to kill Randy. The ground was getting so close now, Wilford closed his eyes and braced for impact.

But then felt his coat being grabbed at, jerking him mid air. Wilford looked to see Randy's terrifyingly angry face, that black dripping liquid oozing down his face has he spoke to Wikford.

"So you tried to kill me?! Instead of being there for your suffering friend, you ran and hid like a coward. And then you had the audacity, the nerve, to throw me overboard, to have me killed! Well Filthy Wilfy... actually scratch that name, that sounds like a cute pet name for a fucking raccoon."

Wilford was being still being held on by his coat, in mid air, moments away from falling, while Randy was just casually deep in thought. Randy then got an idea, somehow spawning a glowing lightbulb like those old timey cartoons as he cleared his throat to continue where he left off.

"Well Wilfilth, the time to face the consequences of your actions is now! From now on, I am in charge of the Toppat Clan! And you get to deal with whatever I have in store for you. By the way, since I'm back in a brand new fresh way, you can call me Fresh from now on."

Randy flew back to the Airship, with Wilford still in tow. For the first time in Wilford's life, he feared for the future and what this Fresh had in store for him.

Payback was going to be bitch.

#lizzyask #sir wilford iv #randy radman #funky fresh #eldritch #transformations #attempted murder #pain #karma #guilt #good going wilfy

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tomato-hub · 2 years

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10 Facts About Raccoons That Will Surprise You

Raccoons are one of the most common urban animals, but many people don’t know much about them. I did a little research to get some facts about these cute critters. Check out 10 Facts About Raccoons That Will Surprise You.

1. Raccoons are very smart

Raccoons are very smart and very curious. They will try to get anything they want. They have been known to raid open garbage cans and can be a nuisance to homeowners. They can spread diseases like rabies and roundworms. Raccoons like to eat fish and frogs so they sometimes go fishing in small ponds.

2. Raccoons will get into your trash

Raccoons are well adapted to living in cities. They are great climbers and will get into your trash. Raccoons are also good swimmers. They often come out at night when people are asleep.

3. Raccoons used to be a delicacy

Raccoons are a common nuisance species in many areas. These wild animals are quite intelligent. They can easily get into trouble and cause damage in residential and commercial settings.

911 Wildlife is here to help when you have a raccoon problem or any other wildlife issue.

Raccoon Damage

Raccoons are omnivores, which means they eat both plants and meat. They live on just about anything they can find, including fruits and nuts, as well as insects, small animals, eggs, and garbage. This can create a problem for homeowners, who may discover that their garden plants have been dug up or their trash has been torn apart by these pests. Raccoons may also break into buildings through holes in the roof or attic and make nests there. If raccoons are living on your property, 911 Wildlife can trap them humanely and relocate them to a safe area away from your home or business.

4. Raccoons can carry rabies

Raccoons can carry rabies, which is a viral disease that causes brain inflammation. The disease has not yet been cured, and it kills around 50,000 people worldwide each year.

5. Raccoons can be tamed

Raccoons are smart, curious and mischievous, which makes them fun pets. However, they can also be destructive and pose a danger to you and your home.

Raccoons are wild animals. If you're considering keeping one as a pet, consider the effort involved. You'll need time to feed it, clean its cage and play with it. You'll also need a secure cage and space for your raccoon to run around when it's not caged.

6. The word raccoon comes from a Native American word that means "little elders"

Raccoons are small, nocturnal mammals with a distinctive appearance. They have a black "mask" around their eyes and furry rings on their long tails.

They are native to the United States, but they've also been introduced to other parts of the world, including parts of Europe, South America and Japan.

The word raccoon comes from a Native American word that means "little elders." This is because its face markings make it look like it has an older face.

7. A raccoon's tail is almost as long as its body

Raccoons are very intelligent animals. They are also very agile and strong, and they have been known to pull apart a roof and rip off shingles in order to get into buildings. Raccoons are excellent at opening doors, latches, and jars. They can even open a car door! A raccoon's tail is almost as long as its body. The tail usually has between five and seven black rings around it and is very bushy. The raccoon's mask-like face, with its dark eye patches, makes it look like a little bandit.

8. Baby raccoons are called kits, not pups or cubs

At first glance, you might think a baby raccoon is a dog or cat. However, it has its own unique name — a kit.

Kits are born with their eyes closed and are tiny, weighing around 100 grams (3.5 ounces). They mainly eat food given to them by their mothers, but some might munch on plants or other organic matter.

9. Raccoons make great pets if you do it right

Raccoons. You know they're cute, but they can also be destructive and dangerous. And, yes, they may be legal to own in some states.

But are raccoons good pets? We did some digging to find out if you should get a raccoon as a pet. Here's what we found out.

Raccoons are not legal or regulated pets in many areas.

The first problem with getting a pet raccoon is that it's illegal in most places. Even if it weren't illegal, owning one would probably be a bad idea anyway. Raccoons are wild animals and have sharp teeth and claws that can inflict serious wounds when the animal feels threatened (as is often the case). And even though raccoons are nocturnal animals, they don't make good pets for small children who may try to play with them during the day.

10. There are more than 50 different species of raccoon!

Did you know that the raccoon is a member of the Procyonidae family? This family also includes coatis, kinkajous, olingos, and ringtails. There are more than 50 different species of raccoons!

Raccoons are noted for their intelligence, with studies showing that they are able to remember the solution to tasks for up to three years! Raccoons use a variety of vocalizations such as hissing, whistling and screeching to express emotions.

Raccoons are omnivores, meaning they eat meat and plants. Raccoon diet consists of nearly 40% invertebrates including crayfish and crabs; 30% plant matter including persimmons, acorns, fruits, palm nuts and corn on the cob; 20% vertebrates such as mice snakes and birds; 5% other animal matter such as frogs and fish; 5% human garbage

However, I've a Raccoon Clothing Store is here to help you dress properly for whatever the occasion may be. Please visit and give me you valuable opinion about my store. Visit here: Raccoon Sunflower

We have listed ten interesting facts about raccoons which will help you know this animal better. These animals are almost half as large as a cat but they can be very dangerous, especially if they are rabid. So we don’t recommend you to try to come near them.

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