#Nate is struggling but doing better

[cl6udias]

✷ drunk in love

cw: nsfw content, fem reader, mentions of piv, i dont speak great English so some words might be used wrong, etc.

over spring break you watched a few “videos” to get a better idea of what you and luke should be doing in bed because i mean neither of you are very experienced so you wanted to try some new things so when you got back to camp you suggested a new position to luke and he was more than happy to oblige.

it wasn't anything like super crazy though, just that your lower back was raised off the bed by your pretty pink pillows, allowing luke to cock to hit deeper.

his thrust were slow, caluclated, drawing little whimpers from you with each thrust. he was asking you something, however you have turned into a cock-drunk mess. his question struggling to resonate in your mind. all you could focus on was the rhythmic squeak of your bunk, the coil in you stomach threatening to break, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips already leaving bruises…

and then everything stilled. there was a foreign pressure on your lower abdomen. the sensation sending goosebumps throughout your body, your warm walls instantly clenching as your eyes shot open to be met with him already staring at you.

"that got your attention, huh baby?”

"luke...wha–" you could only let out a whine as he did it again, you clenched around him making him let out a choked moan.

"look," you did as you were told and followed your gaze down until you saw it. there was a small bump protruding from the skin of your tummy. your eyes widened as he thrusted his hips forward to demonstrate, his cock visibly moving inside you. "looks like my dicks about to break ya open” he chuckled.

he began to thrust his hips forward again, using his finger to trace the outline over your stomach, enchanted by the sight of his dick ramming into you. “lu-muph!”

“awh did i fuck my poor baby dumb?” he cooed as he pressed down on your stomach again and this time you saw stars, toes curling as your jaw dropped , you’ve never came so hard before. so i guess it was safe to say your little research helped.

authors note: again im sorry if the english is bad :) also tell me why i was helping my parents at their restaurant and one of the customers mocked my accent while i was taking their order and the thing is we live in hawaii and like you could tell they were tourists so like who has the audacity to mock someone who actually lives hear when you on our land which we dont even want you on like wtf (i have a spanish accent but still) also i saw something like this with this like idea but i think it was for nate jacobs (is that his name?!?)or something idk credits to them i guess

tag list: @alexandria-millie @pipravi4life

#luke castellan #luke castellan smut #charlie bushnell #charlie bushnell smut #percy jackson #charlie bushnell x reader #percy jackon and the olympians

[sturniearth]

Toxic Bus Ride - Chris Sturniolo 🦌

Summary: You were on the bus coming home from school and of course the one person you hate the most is forced to sit next to you because there were no more seats available. Warnings: SMUT!! smut, 18+, fingering, moaning, foul language, orgasm, squirting.

♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡ Finally, school was over, it felt like fucking days being bored by my stupid science teacher. I hate school, it's probably the worst possible thing in my life besides, Chris Sturniolo, fuck him. I got on the back and quickly scurried to the back, hoping to get the one-seater. Nope. Matt Sturniolo, Chris's brother, took it before I could. He smirked and gave her a pouty face, "Better luck next time, sweetheart." he chuckles before slowly turning is focus to his phone.

I rolled my eyes before giving him the finger and sitting down in the seat next to the one-seater. I let out a sigh of relief as now I was sitting alone, for once without some gross 9th grader looking over my shoulder at what I am doing. Just as I was about to pull out my phone, I felt the seat move a little at the other end. I perked up and looked over at the figure before quickly realizing, it was Chris... I gave him a cold glare before speaking up, "No." I simply said with no hesitation. "Sucks to be you, I have to sit here." He said only a few seconds after me.

I roll my eyes and turn my focus to my phone, trying to avoid him.

♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀ 30 MINUTES LATER ♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀ I was listening to music while gazing out the window. Meanwhile, Chris was talking with Matt until Matt got a text saying that his friend, Nate wanted to sit with him. I glanced over at the two boys for a few seconds watching Matt get up when the bus stopped moving and walking to the front so he could sit with Nate. It was just me and Chris now... I turned both my head and focus back to the window as I resumed listening to my music. Chris on the other hand, had different plans for me. He moved his hand to my thigh, I quickly looked at him with a shocked and confused look, "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Christopher?!" I say with attitude as I push his hand off my thigh. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. "Oh, come on, can't we have a little fun. I mean, no one's back here." he smirks as he moves his hand back to her thigh but a little closer to her inner thighs. Yet again, I move his hand back to his lap, "Chris, no. We are on a bus, one, and two, I don't fucking like you. You're a dick, I'm surprised you have fucking friends, and you get girls." I say back defensively as I give him a light disgusted look, "Now, fuck off and leave me alone." Chris looked quite surprised at her defensive attitude, but of course he doesn't take this seriously and keeps trying. He smirks before moving his hand to in her inner thighs and slides his hands so far up his fingers touch her pussy. He starts to move his fingers up and down on her pussy with pressure through her leggings.

My eyes widen and I try to move his hands, but he just starts to rub my pussy faster, and faster. I moan softly, "C-Chris...stop!" "Nope, you know you love it, y/n." He says seductively as he rubs a little faster. I moan a little too loud causing Chris to put his hand over my mouth, "The louder you moan, the faster I go." He says as he slides his hand into her pants and slowly her panties, "Aww, so wet for me." As I struggle to not have an orgasm in his hand, he unexpectedly sticks 2 fingers in me, soon 3, then 4! My head falls back as my eyes roll which almost looked like to the back of my head. Chris starts to pump his 4 fingers in and out of me slow at first and faster, and faster by the minute, "Such a good girl." He smirks. I feel the tip of one of his finger's brushes against my g-spot causing me moan loud. Chris pushes his fingers into me deeper causing me release all over his fingers. He brings his fingers up to mouth and sucks his fingers until no more of me was on his fingers. I look at him with a confused yet satisfied look, "CHRIS! WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yell as a few kids that sat a few seats in front of us look back before bringing their focus back to whatever they were doing before. "You're a fucking dick!" I yell again, clearly mad that Chris fingered me on the bus. "I know you liked it." He said seductively as he smirked at me. "No, I didn't!" I yell back in response, very mad at Chris right know. But I mean of course I liked it; Chris has been my crush since probably the 8th grade, maybe even longer. "Yes, you did, you can't deny it, y/n." He says with a smug grin on his face, I fucking hate this kid. I cross my arms and nod my head, "No." I say as I turned my head towards the window, avoiding his gaze. "Yes, you did!" He teases as he pulls me a little too close for comfort, he then kisses him on the lips. What. The. Fuck. To be honest, I kind of liked the feeling of his lips against mine, it felt...comforting in some way. Before I know it, I am making out with Chris Sturniolo. I lay on top of him in the seat and make out with him as our tongues battle. He pulls back, "I know you liked it; you like me." He said yet again with his stupid little printed on his fucking face. "Oh, shut up you." I say back with a smile before my lips land on his once again. I think he likes me back... ♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡❀♡

#chris #christopher #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #triplets #sturniolo triplets #smut #fanfiction #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #viral #viralpost #fyp #tumblr fyp #first smut #first fanfic #more coming soon #short story #short smut #short fanfic

[imagine-silk]

Fallout Guys reacting to their crush Sole who has been traveling with them for awhile, and know each other like two peas in a pod, suddenly saying that they'll need to part ways for a little bit as there's something that they have to face alone. They promise they'll be back as soon as they find what they're looking for. A week passes and they return with a couple of items they picked up and gifts them as they apologize for leaving but they needed time to process. When they ask what they're trying to process, Sole says, "That I'm allowed to love you." As it turns out, they liked him too but was struggling with what their late spouse would think. Ultimately they decided that they'd want them to be happy.

》Ooh, I love this. Also, looking down the list I think they would feel conflicted about it as well. Extremely my shit.

【Danse】 "Are you sure?"

There is a certain self-loathing he has after Blind Betrayal that leaves him lost. Through all of it you pushed him better footing and he was doing so well. Then you dropped that on him. It takes a conversation to teach him it's also okay for him.

【Deacon】 "Of course it is. Have you seen me?"

Like always, he hides behind false bravado. He panics and tries to shift the focus to the idea you were bound to fall in love with his dashing rogue persona. Of course that doesn't work when he sees your face, like you're about to cry.

【Hancock】 "Took you long enough."

He had absolutely no idea you felt the same and he himself was feeling insecure about staying by your side with his love. You lost your spouse and here he was wanting that from you. But now that you told him you do as well he's over the moon.

【MacCready】 "Then I guess I am too."

He was in the same boat. Lucy only died a few years back, and to you Nate/Nora died less than a year ago. He was so caught up in figuring out if it was appropriate to love you he missed very obvious signs you were throwing.

【Nick】 "Lucky me."

He didn't particularly grieve Jenny, not in the way you grieved Nate/Nora, didn't have the direction to. He never thought to consider Jenny's feelings in his life. Somehow that made him feel better. You wanted him, and he wasn't the man from 200 years ago. You weren't a haunting shadow or clearly mistaken.

【Preston】 "I'm sure he/she would want you to be happy."

The idea of your late spouse made him feel conflicted from the start. You didn't seem to want to let go so he left it alone and refrained from asking. Because of that this came at him from a bit of left field. But who was he to say what they would feel about it or how you should handle it.

【X6-88】 "I see."

He did not see. To be blunt, Nate/Nora was dead, their permission was not needed. Even if they were alive you could ignore their wishes. Who would say no to you? Not him. But for you he'll sugarcoat it. It's not like he dislikes the news it comes with.

#ask and you shall receive #fallout 4 #fallout imagines #fallout x reader #companions react #gender neutral reader #danse #deacon fo4 #hancock #maccready #nick valentine #preston garvey #x6 88

[jamiesfootball]

Season two of the Ted Lasso rewatch and I am having some string feelings. Some strong feelers. Some shrimp about Ted and Jamie and how Ted really, really struggles between being Coach Shaped and being Dad Shaped when it comes to Jamie, and how Jamie is horrible at discerning either.

(Buckle up this is gonna be a long one)

Because what we start off with in season one is very much a man who is used to being Coach Shaped. He wants the boys to be inspired and to learn about life and to become the best versions of themselves that they can be. All of which could be very Dad Shaped, but in execution they’re not.

He steps back to let people grow, and sometimes that involves letting bullies be bullies so that the true leaders of the group can step up. Sometimes it’s letting Nate roast the other players- quite cuttingly at that - to get the team motivated. He’s directing the orchestra sure, but he’s not in the pit telling people how better to get along. He’s warm and welcoming, and he tries to foster good rapport and encourage people to talk to him and open up. He, dare I say it, actually has boundaries with people. He asked Rebecca in the first episode how she was holding up with the divorce, and when she seemed upset he noted it, offered a little commiseration, and moved right along without making a fuss.

And then he calls Jamie Tartt into his office to give him a compliment sandwich (“you’re a great athlete now pass the fucking ball and then you’ll be a super great athlete okay thanks”) and I think that’s where Ted’s boundary with Jamie first starts to erode. Because Jamie unintentionally ruins his whole fucking script. Jamie’s disaffected act crumbles at the first compliment. He’s sincerely taken aback by Ted’s praise, a little nervous and a little pleading. He breaks the rules of compliment sandwiching by demurring “well I work really hard”, which forces Ted to agree which is in a way TWO compliments, and when Ted tries to push through with his critique, Jamie ends up critiquing himself first about something completely different (“my left cross”), and then Ted has to wrestle them back to the actual critique, and the whole thing is just. Definitely not the ordeal Ted thought it would be.

So from early on we have these two working at cross purposes - because Ted thinks he’s being Coach Shaped, but the Shape he is doesn’t fit any Coach Jamie has ever had.

“what’s he like?”

“Great”

“…….”

“Well great at football”

“Yeah, I’ve know guys like that.”

And in return, Ted has known ‘guys like that’, competent athletes who are a necessary part of the game, but have such egos (“I’m not sure you realize how mentally healthy that is”) that Ted thinks he has to go to his players girlfriend for insight on how to motivate Jamie in the way that Ted needs for team cohesion.

So this is Ted trying to be Coach Shaped and give this kid a wake up call and this kid is so receptive that Ted barely had to lift a finger. But it doesn’t stick.

Ok. So next he attempts to give Jamie a book that he thinks will wake him up to the reality he’s living. He gave them to everyone. He’s still being Coach Shaped. He makes Roy and Jamie sit at the same table and tries to orchestrate a truce. He kinda gets there, but the next episode they’re still at each other’s throats. Jamie listened to Ted about the one in a million / one in eleven thing, but then Jamie ignored it. So he benched him. He’s Coach Shaped; it wasn’t personal.

Except Ted is not has not been anything Coach Shaped that Jamie could recognize, and football really is his life too. So it was very fucking personal. And here’s the first wrinkle in the narrative both of them have been telling themselves, because what does Jamie do? He fakes an injury and benches himself.

If Ted doesn’t think he should play, or doesn’t think that the way he’s playing is correct, then fine- he’ll make them both miserable. He just won’t fucking play. It’s kid logic at its finest. It’s cutting your nose to spite your face. ‘Well you said I wasn’t doing it right, so I won’t do it at all.’

It’s the same shit Jamie pulls on his dad when he leaves Man City to go be a reality tv star.

And it’s the first crack in the veneer between them, because the way Ted loses his shit at Jamie for it is not very Coach Shaped, but it is very very Dad Shaped. And unfortunately it was the sort of Dad Shaped that Jamie did recognize.

It’s the first loss of control Ted has in general, and it’s circling this player that Ted can’t seem to get a grip on.

And then there’s Jamie going to Keeley, and he’s got Manchester on his mind. It’s the first time we’ve heard him talk about the council estate he grew up in, and Keeley is telling him to stop battling people who want to help him. So he goes to the bonfire. And he talks about the fucking footprint his dad left in his wake. And he talks wistfully about his mom being proud. And this isn’t just about opening up to the team, it’s also about Jamie Tartt not battling Ted. Taking a risk that even if Ted isn’t very Coach Shaped, even if he appears closer to Dad Shaped than Jamie would like, whatever Ted is - Jamie is probably safe to be a little honest.

It’s not very Star Athlete With An Ego of him; but it’s very very Son Shaped.

“I was just starting to get through to him.”

Ted’s anger with Rebecca could be Coach Shaped. It could be. But it sure hurt him enough that it’s the first time he’s actually angry with Rebecca. Meanwhile Jamie was so hurt he had to tell everyone who would listen about it. Had to iterate that it was good riddance on being rid of Ted Lasso, because at least Pep was a proper Coach Shaped Coach. Someone who’d drill Jamie on the technicals. Someone who probably never once cared enough to pull him aside and tell him if he did a good job. Someone who probably assumed that’s what Jamie’s dad was for, showing up after matches.

“Good luck out there, Jamie!”

“Fucking mind games.”

Whatever Jamie already thought of Ted as a coach must’ve been rolling in the pit Jamie tried to bury it in, because Coach Shaped men don’t cheer you on when you’re playing for the other team. Pep wouldn’t do it if he still played for Richmond.

And maybe Coach Lasso does it for everyone he coaches. Probably. But it’s a very Dad Shaped thing. And fuck, Jamie’s actual fucking dad doesn’t cheer for him at all when Jamie isn’t playing for Manchester, so how’s Jamie supposed to know what it means?

Then there’s Ted, who just can’t help himself. Who can’t help but see potential in Jamie. And when he sees Jamie after the match, it’s a quick war on whether he should speak to him because in that instance Coach mode and Dad mode are in alignment.

Except reality hits as hard as a boot against the wall, because Jamie has a dad. And it’s not Ted. It’s not someone who’s come to tell him well done, or that he’s proud of the baby steps Jamie has taken, even though he’s been left to walk them alone. It is the opposite of what a father should be, but it’s taken up the mantle. Father Shaped. A thing of fury. A role fulfilled, not looking for new applicants.

Coach wins in that moment. Ted turns and walks away, and Jamie can finally see now in Ted Lasso the Coach Shape he’s familiar with.

Except even that can’t stick around and be familiar can it? Because while no one was looking, the Dad Shape in Ted scribbled him a little message. Left a note in his absence to let him know he was proud. Sent Beard with an army man, someone to lookout for Jamie and keep him safe. I’d say at this point a Ted Lasso couldn’t’ve drawn a line between Coach Shaped and Dad Shaped - this was a matter of pure human empathy, and decency, and an apology in its own way. I’m sorry for the roles we’ve been given. I’m sorry, but please know I care.

He walked away from Jamie and his dad. He didn’t have any obligation to Jamie. There was no more match to be won. Any involvement of Jamie Tartt in Ted’s life coulda woulda should’ve ended there.

“There’s something out there worse than being sad, and that’s being sad and alone. And ain’t nobody in this room alone.”

The look on Jamie’s face in that scene says it all. Because he is alone, but Ted clearly (desperately) doesn’t want him to be.

But being alone is better than being stuck in a room with James Tartt Sr.

Jamie doesn’t go to Ted first after Lust Conquers All. Why would he (think he had the right to)?

The first thing Jamie does do (after Keeley tells him it’s ok to go to Ted) when he meets Ted again is show him the Ted (Danson) Soldier. Ted may have made the gesture, and Jamie may have understood the meaning of it, but he does Not understand Ted. Not this Coach-but-Not-a-Coach. Still Jamie thinks he has the distinction down - what soft underbelly he thinks he needs to bare for this type of Coach to believe him when asks for a chance to come home.

“You were getting good minutes up at City.”

Ted redirects Jamie here in a very Coach Shaped way. He guides Jamie into admitting the real reason why he quit. He hears Jamie out, makes observations about how Jamie coming back would work from a team perspective, and makes only occasional eye contact. This is Ted clinging to a role that he’s used to, the one that comforts him in its ability to help other people.

(If there is something Dad Shaped in that scene, it’s an awful, haunting one. Not the one that Jamie grew up with, but the one that Ted grew up with. The one who took his son to play darts every Sunday for six years, who probably sat next to him and drank beer the way Ted does)

But Ted never set out to be anyone’s dad. He’s their Coach, and he has a responsibility to everyone on his team. It’s nothing personal; he’s just being a Coach.

They clink glasses. Cheers, and best of luck to your future endeavors.

There is something very tired about the way Jamie puts down his beer without taking a sip. He looks lost. He does not look surprised. (How could you have expectations for something you’ve never known? And how come that doesn’t make him feel any better about it?)

We don’t see Jamie after that.

We see Ted at training, worrying about Dr Sharon watching the team he’s made. He worries that she’s getting closer (metaphor). When Sam storms off the field, Ted is startled but relieved to follow. He doesn’t want self examination. He wants to be Coach. He wants to embrace the parts of coaching he’s always loved- helping other people improve and be better.

Sam tells him that he doesn’t want Jamie back on the team, and there’s a split second of relief from Ted because he made the right call.

Then Sam talks about his father, and how his father is grateful for Ted because with Ted around, he knows his son is safe. Because this has nothing to do with being Coach Shaped. Coach Shaped he may be in Sam’s life, but here’s Sam, who is very Son Shaped himself, and his father agreeing that Coach Lasso serves a greater purpose in Sam’s life than just being a supportive motivator. In their mind, in the absence of a father, Ted Lasso will do just fine. He will keep Sam safer than any little green army man.

That’s the final inexorable blurring of the lines for Ted, where the coach finally drops the ball to pay attention to the scraped knees that have been left behind.

Ted calls the Diamond Dogs meeting. Coach Beard and Coach Nate are very Coach Shaped indeed. What about the teamwork, Ted? “He’s the poop in the punch bowl.” Leslie is for bringing him back, but it’s for football reasons. It makes managerial sense.

But none of it means anything to Ted because at that moment he can not find it in himself to be Coach Shaped.

“I thought it was settled, but Sam went and unsettled it.”

“He reminded me that not everyone is lucky enough to have a good dad.”

“In sports aren’t we always on about second chances? Shouldn’t that apply to people too?”

This is not Coach Shaped. In some ways it’s not even Dad Shaped. But it is caring, and empathy, and wanting an excuse, any excuse, to try again. It is Love Shaped.

Ted Lasso is a coach to his team and a dad to a great little boy down in Kansas, and for Jamie Tartt he can try to fit on a third extra thing. Whatever that thing is called. Neither of them know what that thing is called. They’re too familiar with Coaches and too unfamiliar with Dads to know the difference.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #good grief this is long #ted lasso rewatch

[mysuperiors]

CW: Non-consensual sex.

Your friend’s cousin, Mark, was part of the bachelor weekend trip to the beach house. The first night was a bender and you were way too tired to go out on the boat with everyone else the next afternoon.

“Oh man, you sure? We’re gonna be out there a few hours?,” your friend Nate, the groom to be, asked.

“Nah, bro. Go. I need to recover so I’m ready for tonight.”

“Alright, man. Feel better. Mark is feeling it too. He’s staying behind. Take turns throwing up,” he laughed.

Great. Stuck in a house with a guy you met 18 hours ago before getting blackout drunk.

You went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. The house was quiet, so you got your book and lay on the couch to read. An hour went by and you realized you hadn’t heard a thing. Was Mark going to wake up? Was he even here? You figured you’d check on him just in case. He had to have been asleep for 12 hours by now.

You went upstairs to the room he was sharing with another cousin of his and Nate’s, lightly knocked on the door and opened it. Mark was lying on the bed, completely naked, slowly stroking his cock.

“Oh shit!,” you exclaimed, and quickly shut the door. You heard him laugh on the other side of the door. “Sorry, man,” you called out. Just as you were taking a step away to go back downstairs, you heard him move to the door and pull it open.

He stood there, completely bricked up. “What the fuck man? Where you going? Come back in here.”

It took you a second to process what he said. “Nah, man. I’m not into that. I’m straight. I’m engaged too,” you said taking a step back.

He put his hands on his hips and asked conversationally, “Oh yeah? You and Nate ever swap?”

“What?”

“Bitches.” “Fiancés,” he added seeing the look of confusion on your face.

“What? No, dude. Put some fucking clothes on! I’m going downstairs.”

“Man, I could really use some help here,” he gestured at his dick. “My hand isn’t getting the job done.”

“Fuck this. I’m straight. I’m heading out. Tell Nate and the guys I’ll be back tonight.”

“Whoa! Wait. You can’t leave. They’re gonna ask me a bunch of questions about where you are and why you left.”

“Just fucking tell them… I left before you woke up. I don’t know. Jesus!” You were trying not to look at his bare naked body.

“Listen, man, don’t be a prude. Just come in here and suck it. You never gave a brojob before? College? Frat house shit?”

“Christ! No. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you some fag?”

“Don’t fucking call me that, man! I’m trying to be—”

“Yo I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m leaving.”

Mark took two giant steps forward and grabbed you by the arm just as you were turning to go.

“Get your fucking hands off me, man,” you warned him.

“Or what?”

Without hesitating, you took a swing right at his face, but he ducked and twisted your arm behind your back and shoved you by the neck up against the wall. “Yeah who’s the faggot now, cool guy? Huh? Tell me.”

You struggled, but he had you pinned up against the wall. “Let me fucking go! Get off of me!”

“I asked you a question. Who. Is. The. Faggot. Now.” and he tugged your bent arm farther up your back, sending a piercing pain throughout your shoulder. When you still didn’t answer, he banged your forehead into the wall, giving you an instant unbearable headache. “WHO?”

“Fuck. I am,” you conceded. “Alright? I am the faggot. Let me fucking go now, okay?”

“Nah, man.” Mark breathed. “You just said you’re a faggot and I’m rock hard and ready to cum.”

He slammed your head into the wall again and your vision blurred and you swayed from lightheadedness as he yanked you back into his room and shoved you down face first on the bed. Momentarily stunned, you couldn’t even resist when he literally ripped the T-shirt from off your back. One of his nails caught you and scraped your back, the sharp pain bringing you back into focus as you realized what he intended to do.

“No! Fuck. No! Stop! Help!”

But he grabbed you by the hair and forced your face into a pillow while you screamed. He got right down to your level and bit your ear hard. The shock of that shut you up for a second and Mark growled in your ear, “Shut the fuck up and take this cock like a good faggot. If you don’t be quiet, I’m going to smother you with this pillow. Do you understand? Do you understand that I am serious right now and this is the only choice you have left?”

You were petrified, and given everything that had just happened in the last five minutes, you knew he was completely serious. This jacked CrossFit bro was literally going to kill you. You stopped screaming. Your body was rigid with fear.

“That’s right,” Mark whispered. “Shhhh… nice and quiet. I don’t want you to make a sound, no matter how much this hurts.” He licked your ear lobe and kissed your cheek and forehead. “Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

You shook your head into the pillow.

“Tell me. Say ‘Yes, Sir.’”

“Yes, Sir,” you choked out through the thick sob that was forming in your throat.

“Shhhh, my baby. If you cry, I’m just gonna fuck you harder.” Mark taunted.

He let go of your arm, freeing it. As you pulled it back around toward your head, the pain was overwhelming. Mark slowly hooked his fingers into each side of your running shorts and boxer briefs, and slid them down, exposing your bare ass. “Nice and smooth,” he commented. He ran his hand over your cheeks, massaging them slightly. He traced his forefinger from the bottom to the top of your crack, sending a not-unpleasant sensation up your spine. Then he slapped your right ass check. “Perfect,” he purred.

He pulled you up on your knees by your hips. You were on all fours, your head pounding, your left shoulder on fire. You felt his knees in between your legs, and then you felt him spread your legs apart with his. You heard a wet sound, him licking and sucking his fingers, and then you felt him spread your ass cheeks apart. He pressed on your clenched hole with his forefinger. He gave it another lick and then began prying you open and working his finger up inside you.

You couldn’t hold back the choking sob. Large tears began to spill out. “Please. Don’t.” you begged between heaving breaths.

“I told you. Be quiet and don’t cry, or else,” he said calmly, and then shoved his finger all the way up inside you, sending an unbearably sharp pain up your colon into your gut.

You gasped and cried out in pain. Mark responded by punching you full force in the side of your gut, knocking all the wind out of you. “I said, be fucking quiet, faggot.”

You heard him spit and a second later you felt a large warm pipe pressing against your anus, pushing its way in, overpowering your sphincter as it tried with all its might to keep the intruder out.

“Don’t fight me, boy,” Mark said threateningly. He pushed his cock harder. You couldn’t withstand the pressure and you felt the muscle give way and expand to let him in. You gasped. My god, the pain. The pressure. You really only got a glimpse at his cock earlier. It was a decent size you had quickly noted, but now inside you it felt gargantuan. 

Mark laughed. “That’s right. You’re mine now,” he taunted. “Fuck. It’s so fucking tight! Fucking hot as fire! I love virgin ass!”

It was slow going at first, and unbearably painful. Your anus was wrapped so tight around his thick shaft that he could barely motion in and out, especially with nothing but a little bit of his saliva as lube. Undeterred, he continued to force his way inside you with each grind of his hips. You could feel him going deeper and deeper. Jesus Christ, how many inches was he? How could he possibly mine your ass any deeper?

Eventually, he was thrusting in and out, adding more spit every couple minutes. He was holding your hips, and you could hear his balls smacking with every thrust. Each one, slamming you a little forward. But with his hands on your hips you took the full impact. He was owning you. It went on and on. How long had it been? Five minutes? 10 minutes? An hour? Six hours?

You were becoming delirious. This wasn’t really happening. You weren’t really on all fours with another man buried deep inside you. This wasn’t your life. Your mind went somewhere else while you were taken by this guy who could not possibly be related to one of your best friends.

Mark didn’t let up. He was picking up the pace and slapping your ass in between grunts of “Yeah, bitch. Take my cock.”

You felt as though you had left your own body. Even though all you could see was headboard and pillows, you imagined yourself watching the scene from the doorway as if it were happening to another person and not to you.

Now Mark was in a steady fast rhythm. You knew he was getting close. Am I about to feel what it is like to have a man cum inside me? You wondered. Is this what the dozens of women that I’ve fucked have felt? Has it been this painful for them? 

Mark began to grunt. Feral. Loud. Urgent. “Fuck yeaaaaahhh, ahhhhh!!!” And you felt it. In an odd way you were anticipating this. Almost looking forward to it, like some grand finale of a fireworks show. A warm liquid was flooding your colon. It didn’t seem like a lot. Was it? How much did he shoot in me?

He kept fucking you slowly for a couple more minutes. Now his dick was sliding in and out with ease, his manly load making everything slick. Mark pulled out and said in an even, commanding voice “Turn around.”

With absolutely no resistance left in you, you obeyed and turned around, staying on all fours.

“Open your mouth.”

You did as you were told and Mark slapped his dick on your inflamed forehead, eyes, and nose before shoving it in your mouth. He took a handful of your hair and said, “Nice and slow. Twirl your tongue around it and lick it clean. Taste my cock. Taste my cum and my spit. Taste your ass. Taste what we taste like together. And look at me while you do it.”

You did as you were told. For the first time you were looking him right in the eyes. Christ, you saw power there! You saw a Man. He was still hard, and his engorged cock filled your mouth. You were enjoying this a little. He had one hand entwined in your hair on the back of your head, slowly guiding you up and down his long shaft. The other hand was on his hip, giving him a powerful and masculine stance as he towered over you, looking down at his conquest. You were enjoying this a lot.

“That’s right. You’re my calm little bitch now. Ready to go get cleaned up? The boys should be back soon.” He pulled his dick out of your mouth and it made a slurping noise as the head passed your lips. You eagerly started back for more, but he gave a little chuckle and pulled his cock back. “No more for now,” he chided.

You placed your hands on his hips and kissed his abs, starting to work your way up. You licked and sucked on his nipple and kissed his chest.

“You’re a good little bitch now, aren’t you?” he smirked.

“Yes, sir,” you said breathlessly, caressing his strong arms.

He hopped off the bed and took you by the hand and led you into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and waited as the water got warm. He looked at you while you ran your hands over his chest and abs and shoulders, in total awe of this new discovery: Man.

The rest of the trip was a blur. You showered. You got dressed. Iced your forehead. The guys came back. You said you fell and hit your forehead. They all laughed and made a joke about how drunk you must’ve still been from the night before.

It wasn’t until you were back home with your fiancé that you realized just how lasting this experience would be. She was eager to get you in bed when you got home, but you couldn’t get hard for her. You passed it off as just being exhausted after a crazy weekend of partying. But you knew the truth.

You spent the next week gazing at the pictures of Mark the guy posted on their Instagram from the weekend. You jerked off to the thought of his perfect body on top of you, plowing you and holding you down with a hand wrapped around your throat.

You weren’t a man anymore. That part of your life was over now. Now you are what Mark made you. You are a bitch. You are a faggot. The only thing you want now is a man’s attention.

All you want to do is kneel, serve, and obey. 

#male worship #forced to kneel #forced feminized #resistance is futile #alpha master #jock bro #alpha jock #ripped #subbmisive #muscle god

[ambitionsart]

So... Deadlands but make it a Guild?

Putting it under read more because there's a lot.

So given the Deadlands characters have very little backstory we are headcannoning a lot here. Bare with me.

Edie, I imagine as a rouge (was torn with bard), who uses her sweet charms to get the information she needs. Picks up shifts in taverns in exchange for a roof for a few days.

Garnet is just Prudance 2.0. Since we don't know much of backstory, I can imagine her being a reserved magic user who does not talk about where her magic comes from, because lets be honest a less than savoury patron really doesn't go down well. (Also the idea of her having like a deck of many things, or where her patron picks the cards delt to deal damage would be fun)

Silas, I'm sorry this man is a barbarian. There is no other thing he could be, it's the unfiltered rage. Though I liked the idea of him duel wielding blades like his pistols. Also having miss matched armour to reflect he used to be someone important, the hints of his 'law man' image.

Nate, Okay so. Nate I struggled with. I'm thinking a paladin of some kind? Also I don't know how to translate, was at one point dead and now lives on alcohol and jerky, other than the common stereotype of Dwarves. So. Yeah. Sorry Nate. Though I do imagine him keeping his shirt as if it was something his late wife embroiderd for him and now it's too sentimental to get rid of so it's got patches holding it together.

Delacy, the idea of this relatively human party having a child half orc running around with them felt apt but also the level of humor of oxventure. Also Delacy being an unusually strong child also very good. I can imagine him being a fighter or some combat specific class.

If anyone has any better ideas, hit me up I'm not 100% on all of these, so please add your own to them.

#oxventure deadlands #oxventure guild #oxventure #my art #Fun Fact #I don't know alot about DND #Bare minimum you can learn from Oxventure Adventure Zone and D20 #So we are rolling with like very little backstory and my very scraping the surface understanding of class systems #Also like #Just wanting to draw fantasy outfits #while the base outfits for Deadlands are pretty plain which given the setting of the show is to be expected so not a lot to go on #Also I think I've accidently made Silas look like an angry ZeRoyalViking... I think it's the hair #I think I'll be going back into hibernation again #but I have so many Oxventure related doodles I've just never posted or finished so maybe I'll get round to doing that eventually

[krakenartificer]

Who wants a really sad Leverage headcanon?

Was re-watching the Gimme a K Street Job -- Season 5 Episode 5 -- and a couple of things stood out to me.

1) Nate says "Let's go steal some congresspeople", and then sends everyone on the team (except Parker, who's being a cheer coach) out to con one of their targets. But it feels like there's a profound mismatch in who gets which mark.

For the "not like other girls" feminist congresswoman who's inclined to dismiss cheer as worthless and demeaning, you need Eliot to come in looking like a man who very much knows what does and does not count as a sport, and be his tiny angry respect-women-juice self about how regardless of what you think of their choice of clothing they are working as hard as any other athlete and they deserve safety as much as anyone else. But instead they sent Hardison.

For the "Yes I am very busy and important; admire me" chairman, you need Sophie, who is better than anyone else on the planet at making you feel admirable when you're doing what she wants, and scummy and low when you're not doing what she wants. But instead they sent Eliot.

For the "Look I am trying, but I need corn subsidies or I won't be able to do anything else" newbie congressman, Hardison could happily have gone on an infinitely recurring series of fetch quests until he sees the place where they loop around and bottom out and every problem solves every other problem. But instead they sent Sophie.

2) Eliot struggles the most, so Nate works with him the most, but he doesn't help him out hardly at all; he just keeps saying, "So what's your next play?" and then revealing that he's already anticipated Eliot's next play and has all the materials in place to enact it. And of course, they do eventually get the dude on board, and it all works out, but afterwards, Eliot tells Nate, "I trust that some time soon you'll tell me why you had me slogging through all that when you already knew how to hook him."

And of course, knowing what we now know about how season 5 ends, it makes sense that Nate is trying to train the OT3 to work without him, looking for his replacement.

Except.

If the plan is to fuck off into the sunset with Sophie, then why did he throw Sophie into this uncomfortable not-my-wheelhouse scenario?

No, Nate's preparing the entire team to carry on without him. He's forcing them to learn how to plan, learn different ways of approaching problems, to think about bigger pictures and approach them strategically.

...

I think Nate just got the first diagnosis of the disease that's finally going to kill him. And again, we -- the audience -- now know that he's going to live for many years after that initial diagnosis. But he doesn't know that, at this point. He knows he's tested positive, and he knows it's eventually going to kill him, and he has no idea how long he has.

And in some sense, it doesn't matter how long he has. Three months or thirty years, that kind of revelation makes it stunningly clear that taking care of the people you love means making sure that they can take care of themselves.

So that's what he does: he throws them into new, uncomfortable situations where they'll have to grow and support each other without him, so that no matter what happens, they'll be able to keep going. Because he's not a nice person, Jimmy Ford's son, but by God does he know the importance of protecting your family.

#leverage #nate ford #nathan ford is not a nice man but he's the only thing standing between us and jimmy ford's son #headcanon #spoilers #leverage spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #gimme a k street job

[izzyspussy]

Rating Ted Lasso Characters Based On If They'd Respect My Pronouns (Correctly)

Roy "We Stayed At GAY Til 3AM And Then We Had Crepes With Some Drag Queens" Kent: 11/10 no fucking shit. He would defend me from misgendering also, even if we weren't friends. He's the very embodiment of that guy who fought the trans guy and then fought the authority figure who scolded him for hitting a girl.

Nate "Genius (Code for Autistic)" Shelley: 11/10 are you kidding. If only quarantine had happened in his universe he'd have pronouns too. Also his girlfriend obviously already does.

Jamie "Prettyboy" Tartt: 11/10 duh. No, he doesn't know off the top of his head what part of speech a pronoun is, but only because nothing in the universe could matter less. And much like Roy, if he saw someone else being contrarian for the purposes of being a prick for absolutely no earthly reason, he would be eager to do something about it.

Keeley "Just The Tip" Jones: 11/10 did you see her. Never have I personally received more solidarity than from (butches and) full tilt Barbie Girl femmes like Keeley. She may be cis and she wears "women's" clothes, but she's still doing drag every day. She gets it.

Colin "Right by This Pink Triangle?" Hughes: 11/10 obviously. He would be so good at not making a big deal out of doing it correctly himself or correcting others, because he knows what it's like to just want to live your authentic life without being a spectacle.

Coach "You Should See Him In Drag" Beard: 11/10 which you should've guessed. Look at him. Look at him with your heart. You know he has pronouns you've never even heard of that he takes out for special occasions.

Ted "We Don't Not Care" Lasso: 11/10 why is this even a question. Practically the entirety of Ted's goals in life are to be respectful and kind and help others do the same. Sometimes that's hard and he fucks it up, but this is easy. C'mon.

Sam "Social Justice Warrior" Obisanya: 11/10 like. Obviously. I have nothing else to say, like. Obviously. Obviously.

Bumber-"Impending Class War"-catch: 11/10. If anything, given the opportunity, he would encourage me to have more pronouns.

Dani "Joy" Rojas: 11/10. These are getting very simple now, and require less and less explanation. He promotes joy. What else do you want.

Rebecca "Ask Your Daughter What It Means" Welton: 11/10. She's a cutthroat and a genuine feminist. She doesn't care if a bunch of freaks are scared of strangers' genitals, and she's certainly not going to let something so petty get in her own way.

Jan "I've Run Out of Fun Epithets For Everyone And He Wouldn't Mind This Unfun One That's Blunt About That Fact" Maas: 11/10 of course. There's no logical, moral, or social reason not to, and there is a wealth of evidence supporting gender affirming behavior.

Isaac McAdoo: 11/10. And he would (unnecessarily) instruct all the other lads to do it too. He might struggle with it at first if we had known each other previous to my transition, but not out of malice or negligence, and once he got on track he'd stay there for life.

Leslie Higgins: 11/10. He's a jazz musician with ten thousand gen Z children. He knows at least as many trans people already as any natural member of the queer community.

The Rest of The Lads: 11/10. We all know this to be true. Next.

Georgie Tartt: 11/10. Have you seen her son. She's prepared for this.

Sharon Fieldstone: 11/10. Have you seen her do her job. She's good at it.

Dottie Lasso: 9/10. Her heart's in the right place and that matters! She is inescapably Midwestern in both the good ways and the bad ways, though.

Jake: 8/10. Have you seen him do his job. He's bad at it.

Rupert Mannion: 6/10. He's a trans inclusive misogynist lmao. He also will treat correct pronoun usage as a privilege if he gets butthurt enough.

James Tartt: 3/10. He'd respect a trans man who performed masculinity to his standards, but he is definitely afraid of girlymen and women who are better than him (most women).

#jack facts #ted lasso #hc #i do vague sir but i do not vague at you sir #also yes i do know beard and bumbercatch's first names but i thought this was funnier

[onyxbird]

OK, the idea of a soulmate au where you can't look anyone but your soulmate directly in the eyes was not done with me yet.

Leverage version:

Sophie knows all the tricks for faking full eye contact. For a third-party observer, it's nigh-impossible to tell that she's not quite achieving direct eye contact short of using cameras with very good eye-tracking software. Trying to fool a mark into thinking she's their soulmate via “eye contact” is tougher, but on a mark who hasn't met their own soulmate (and thus has never experienced true full eye contact), Sophie still has a pretty good success rate. Every member of the team has been drafted as her fake soulmate on a con at least once. Or, at least, Sophie has tried. Parker failed to pick up on any of the hints Sophie was able to drop without blowing their cover, so Sophie had to switch tactics. Hardison tried valiantly to hold the near-eye-contact, and they pulled off the job, but he was struggling and his resulting nervous blather did not help the illusion at all. Eliot picked up her cues and pulled off the illusion flawlessly… and hated every second of it. The first time they faked prolonged eye contact, he ducked away to Nate's bathroom the second they got in the door, and Sophie (slightly insulted) wondered if he was going to throw up. He didn't, just practically boiled his skin off in the hottest shower he could stand. Nate is by far Sophie's most frequent “soulmate” on the job… None of the rest of the team are entirely sure whether the eye contact is fake or not, and neither Nate nor Sophie is telling.

Parker has never had any interest in making eye contact, and was genuinely unaware that this was a serious thing people actually believe in. (Sure, people talk about finding their “soulmate” through eye contact, but people also talk about summoning Bloody Mary through the bathroom mirror. That doesn't mean it's real.) The first time she looked directly into Hardison's eyes was both accidental and jarring. She averted her eyes and assumed they would never mention this uncomfortable situation again. She was not expecting Hardison to suddenly want to have an intense, excited conversation that was clearly loaded with some meaning she wasn't picking up on, and she definitely wasn't expecting him to do so while trying to eagerly stare into her eyeballs. When Eliot happened to walk in, she latched onto him like a spooked cat, demanding he do something about Hardison; there was something wrong with him, like he's possessed or something; make him stop!

Eliot has habitually avoided even the possibility of eye contact with anyone since he was in high school. (He certainly wasn't trying to lock eyes with people even before that, but, well, he and Aimee had tried once, back when they were young and naive and thought maybe they were meant to be. They weren't.) In his line of work… it was better not to know. There was just no way that would end well. He doesn't have anything against other people finding their soulmates, though. Really. So he's not quite sure why there's such a bite to his words when he snaps at Hardison to knock it off—that “soulmates” is no excuse for trying to look someone in the eye when they don't like it. But he's sure he can feel a headache forming as he's stuck between Parker's “'Soulmates'! Ha! …Oh, come on. You're kidding, right? That's not real” from one side and Hardison's horrified “Oh my god, I'm sorry! Parker, I am so, so sorry—I was just so excited, you know? I didn't realize—” start of what was clearly going to be a long and heartfelt apology on the other.

Hardison thinks soulmates are very romantic, and he's always hoped, you know? He tries not to talk too openly about it—dreaming of finding your soulmate was deemed “girly” and “wussy” by the popular boys at his high school, and he had more than enough targets on his back for bullying as a kid without drawing attention this one. He's always kind of thought he'd probably never find his, if he even had one. He did so much of his socializing with like-minded people online, and you can't make eye contact—not real eye contact—over a webcam. There have been some near misses that made his heart flip (Hell, back during that first Dubenich job, when Eliot had taken out all the Pierson guards and then given him that smug little smirk, for an instant—just for an instant—Hardison had almost thought their eyes met directly. He must have imagined it, too caught up in the incredibly sexy and unexpected display of competence on display in front of him to avoid a split second of daydreaming about what it would feel like to look straight into those incredibly blue eyes. Anyway, it had never happened again, and after working together for so long, they surely would have looked each other in the eyes by now if it were possible.), but no dice. Until now. Parker, though… Even while apologizing (he should have realized to be more careful with Parker), Hardison could barely keep the absolutely giddy smile off his face. There had been no mistaking that, and god when people talked about “getting lost” in their soulmate's eyes… Wow, they weren't kidding!

Nate will expound at length about how the concept of “soulmates” and consequently the act of making eye contact have been exploited and commercialized for all of recorded history, the absence of any scientific evidence that the rare ability to make eye contact with another person actually correlates with any real measures of relationship compatibility rather than being a random biological quirk that has been superstitiously fetishized, and (if the person who brought it up isn't desperately trying to escape the conversation yet) whether the concept soulmates is compatible with Catholic theology. Very few people last long enough through his disparagement of the entire concept to notice that he has skirted around ever actually saying whether or not he's ever made direct eye contact with another person, and even fewer are willing to risk touching off another lengthy tirade to press him on the matter.

Thanks @soulmate-au-bargain-bin for the fun idea!

#soulmate au #soulmate eye contact au #leverage aus #leverage ot3 #leverage #soulmate au bargain bin

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter Two I Tell Me About You

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 2481

Warning: I have literally no clue how football works. Enemies to lovers. First Person. Minimal Y/N.

A/N: LMAO I LOVE THIS GIF One of my favorite chapters! Hope y'all are enjoying!

Prologue One

Nearing a year later, I was outside the club, again, in the early morning. After being regulated at the end of last season, I had blamed myself. Ted assured me that it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Just bad luck. But I took it as a chance to do better. To be better.

But recently I’ve been having a mental blockage. I couldn’t picture myself playing the game anymore. I was struggling to coach and to train on my own. I know they hadn’t said anything, but I could tell the other coaches had noticed. With Nate being promoted I was worried that I was going to be let go or replaced. It didn’t go unnoticed to me that I was having the same insecurity that Jamie had been feeling before he left.

But still, here I was looking down the field trying to shove all those feelings of fear and insecurity aside so I could just train. I took a breath and closed my eyes, slowing my heart so I could focus on the game. With a deep intake of crisp morning air, I pulled back my foot and-

            “’Morning (Y/N)!”

I whiffed my foot right over the ball and stumbled a few feet before whipping around to see who caused the distraction.

            “Oh, good morning, Ted,” I sighed. There was no way I could be cross with him. I kicked the ball up into my hands.

            “Sorry, I didn’t interrupt you, did I?” Ted apologized as he approached.

            “No, no. I was just finishing up,” I conceded. I spun the ball in my hands wishing I could feel the same magnetism to it I had when I started the job.

Ted took a long look at me before speaking again. “Ya know… when I was little, I had this puzzle. I loved this puzzle more than anything. I would take it apart and put it together over and over, excited to see the same photo every time I put it together.  But one day, when I put it together, it felt off. Different. I tried everything to get that feeling back. The excitement to see that photo again. But eventually, I realized I had outgrown that puzzle. That it was time to move on.”

My stomach dropped. This was it, this was the moment he was going to tell me I was being let go.

            “Are you firing me, Ted?” I asked, my voice shaky with fear.

            “What? Oh, good heavens no!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “Oh my god. You scared me. I thought that was what you were saying. With the whole puzzle metaphor.”

            “Yeah, I can see how you would think that, but most certainly not.” He chuckled and made a dramatic sweat wiping motion with his hand.

After our laughter died down a moment, I twisted the ball in my hands again before looking at him to continue. “What were you trying to say then?

            “I’m just saying that sometimes it time to try a new challenge,” he paused. “I wanted to get your thoughts on bringing Jamie back.”

My eyes widened in surprise. As far as I knew, Jamie wasn’t even an option. He had quite a fall from grace after he left Man City and had his brief stint on ‘Lust Conquers All’. Sam and Isaac had hosted quite a few watch parties to watch his floundering attempt at finding love on the dating show. As expected, he was kicked off early in the game after double crossing one of the girls on the show. It was fun to watch, especially after what he had said about me in the press.

Yesterday, Sam had come to me, showing me a photo of Ted and Jamie together. He was nervous about Jamie coming back, scared of how he might ruin the good vibes that the team had now with Ted in charge. But Ted had assured us both that Jamie was not coming back. He had told Jamie no. I couldn’t lie and say that brining back Jamie wouldn’t have its pluses. The boy was talented and that’s a fact. But was that talent enough to outweigh the team dynamic.

            “Jamie?” I echoed. “I thought you said that you had told him no.”

Ted shrugged sliding, his hands in his pockets. “I did. But it’s been nagging me anyways. He’s going through a tough spot right now.”

            “Oh, really, he’s going through a ‘tough spot’?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

            “I know, I know, but there is something different about him, I swear.” Ted continued. “It takes a lot for a guy like that to come asking for help. And I’m thinking he might deserve another chance.”

I skewed my lips to the side in thought. “Jamie is… talented. But you saw Sam. He wasn’t just angry he was scared. Scared of how Jamie would treat him when he came back. It’s not about talent. It’s about… personality.”

            “So, you think it’s a bad idea,” he clarified.

Is that what I was saying? The truth was bringing Jamie back could be just what we need to push forward in the league. Get out of the tie streak and start getting back to promotion. That, or we could be stuck in the Championship League forever. And I would be known as the coach that ruined AFC Richmond. But how could I know that if we didn’t try. Something had to change. I couldn’t just keep putting together the same puzzle, hoping it would excite me every time.

            “No, I don’t,” I decided, looking at Ted. “I think we just need to be careful.”

Ted sent me a dazzling smile. “Good, cause I’m putting you on Jamie duty.”

            “Jamie duty?”

            “Yeah, cause he’s coming back today!”

            “Today- TED!”

That’s how I got stuck waiting for Jamie in the locker room. Ted thought it would be a good idea to start him slow. Get the team used to him being back, make him earn his spot.  I leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to finish changing. Out he came, bouncing from foot to foot, punching the air occasionally.

            “’Morning! Ready for a great day of trainin’” He exclaimed, seemingly unable to stop bouncing.

I didn’t react, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. “Alright then, let’s go.”

I pushed myself off the wall and headed towards the pitch. But as I walked past him, he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

            “Wait, before we go, I just wanted to tell you that I’m different now, yeah? I’m not a prick, like I was,” he told me sincerely.

I glanced between him and where his hand touched my arm. For some stupid, idiotic, unbelievable reason, it made my heart skip a beat. His eyes looked so desperate for me to hear him. I pursed my lips and gave him a sympathetic, albeit somewhat sarcastic smile.

            “Sure, Jamie, whatever you say.” I gave him a pat on his hand, signaling for him to let go. He withdrew his hand, looking for something more from me. A sign that I had forgiven him for everything. I rolled my eyes at him. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Practice was a mess to say the least. All the lads seemed determined to bring Jamie down as far as they could. Ted told me it was my job to make sure Jamie felt comfortable coming back to practice, but it was really hard when watching Colin and Sam take their revenge was just a little too sweet.

            “Hey (Y/N), why don’t you stick around a bit after practice, give Jamie some one-on-one training to get him back into the sense of what we’re doing around here,” Ted suggested after watching Jamie flub yet another pass.

            “You want me to what?!” I blurted out before I had a chance to think.

            “Yeah! Just give him the run around. Ya’ know, literally!” He smiled at me, like it was the most amazing idea in the world. “Give you a chance to catch up on that personal training you missed this morning.” 

Ted was about to be ded. As in dead. This whole Jamie thing was HIS idea and yet here he was shoving it on me! He’s a shover.

            “Ooooh she’s looking at you with her angry eyes,” Beard cautioned, lowering his sunglasses.

            “That’s actually quite scary,” Nate chimed in.

            “Ted, I swear to god, I better not be your new puzzle,” I sneered at him.

            “New puzzle?” Nate questioned, turning to Beard.

            “Oh, the puzzle metaphor…” Beard whistled lowly. “He’s really trying something out.”

            “You know the puzzle metaphor?” I accused, narrowing my eyes at him.

            “Oh, yeah I know the puzzle metaphor.”

 “Woo, I love the puzzle metaphor, let’s get these kids in the showers!” Ted finally joined in. With that he walked forward, blowing his whistle to signify the end of training.

Then it was Jamie and me. I kicked the ball onto the field. Jamie, somehow, was still bouncing with energy.  

            “Did you see how they was treating me, (Y/N)?” he said, kicking the grass. “I’m trying me best here.”

I passed him the ball. “Score a goal.”

He backed up and readied himself. “I mean, I said I was sorry.”

With that he moved forward and kicked the ball, sending it flying on a beautiful arc to swish into the goal. I rolled him another ball.

            “Yes, you did,” I agreed, rolling him another ball. “Take 5 steps back and score again.”

He did as I instructed, stepping back to score again. “I just don’t know what else they want from meh.”

He moved forward and scored again. This time, however, the ball moved further to the left. Still in the goal, but drifting. I eyed where the ball landed. I rolled him another ball.

            “Another 5 steps,” I instructed. “Are you being serious right now?”

He took another five steps back before jogging forward and hitting another swish of a goal. This time it was even further to the left. “Yeah, I’m being serious. I’m still new at this whole nice thing.”

            “Go get the balls,” I told him. “So, you really just thought you would come back and say you’re sorry and everything would go back to the way it was?”

He jogged back with the balls. He kicked one towards me. “I mean… yeah?”

I studied the ball on the ground. Then I took three steps back, dragging my feet back as I did. Then I jaunted forward and kicked the ball, it flew through the air and swished into the center of the goal. Jamie starred at the ball.

            “You’re trying too hard, Jamie,” I explained to him. “Things aren’t going to go back to the way they were. And it shouldn’t.” I kicked a ball towards him. “You were a prick.”

He stops the ball. “What do you mean.”

            “Score a goal from there,” I told him. “I mean… do you actually know what you’re apologizing for?”

Jamie took a breath before sending the ball flying. “I mean, yeah. I was a dick. I said shitty things. I did shitty things.”

            “Do you know why I’m mad at you?” I asked him. I placed the ball on the ground and took a few steps back, dragging my feet again. The ball flew through the air and landed in the middle of the net again. Jamie looked between the ball and me.

            “How many times do I have to say that I was a prick,” he whined.

            “Go get the balls,” I shooed. “And always, you always have to say you were a prick.” He began jogging towards the goal. “And, you were a prick, but do you know why you should be sorry.”

The kicked the balls back in my direction. He furrowed his brows, thinking hard about it. I rolled my eyes at him while kicking the ball back, at nearly the halfway point of the field it was a long goal. I took a deep breath, taking three dragging steps backwards, then one step to the side.

            “You aren’t actually going to- “

I didn’t listen. I could see it. I visualized the ball and the opponents. I could see the clock ticking down as I set my feet in motion. Like slow motion, I kicked the ball and watched as it went soaring until it landed in the goal with a satisfying noise. I smirked.

            “Holy shit,” Jamie gapped. “That was like… really impressive.”

            “Jamie, I know. I’m fucking good at this. And I am the first female coach in the league. And every day I woke up with a million reasons why I shouldn’t have my job or come to work. I convinced myself every day that it would be worth it. And every day I you came up with another 20 reasons why I shouldn’t be here.” I kicked a ball up into my hands. “And you made sure to let me know that you thought you were better than me. Think about that.” I pressed the ball into his hands. “Score a goal.”

He took the ball from my hands and dropped it on the ground. He took a step backwards before kicking the ball. He missed, but just barely.

            “You need to plan where you hit the ball. The further back you go the further harder it is to get it in the goal,” I explained. He scoffed at me. “It becomes more important to really know where your boot hits the ball.” I placed the last ball on the ground and motioned for him to come stand next to me. “If you drag your feet, it gives your legs muscle memory. You’re more likely to get the ball where you want it to go.” He looked at me skeptically. I moved my hand in a swooping motion, presenting the ball to him. “Well, I’m not going to wait all day.”

He looked at the ball, then down to the goal. He mimicked my movement, backing up three steps with his feet dragging on the grass then one step over. Then he moved forward and kicked the ball. Swish. The middle of the goal.

            “Damn,” he sighed. I came up next to Jamie and stared at where the ball sat in the goal.

            “You made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be here. And that’s what I can’t forgive you for,” I stated, not looking at him. I could feel him turn to look at me, but I shook my head, feeling tears spring into my eyes. “Pick up the balls and go get showered.” With that I spun on my heel and walked inside, Jamie’s eyes burning on the back of my head.

#jamie tartt #enemies to lovers #eventual fluff #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x y/n #ted lasso #ted lasso show #angst

[everydayyoulovemeless]

any thoughts on how companions (dlc included) would react to a kid sole survivor? like if shaun was their baby brother and nate+nora were their parents?

Fo4 Companions With A Child!Sole

➼ Word Count » 1.7k ➼ Warnings » None

MacCready doesn't know what to do when he sees a kid walk straight into the Third Rail with nothing but a vault suit and a weapon they surely don't know how to properly use strapped to their side. He'll go up to you before you even get the chance to do anything else in here. He's so worried that someone in Goodneighbor will try to get you hooked on something, so he'll take you straight to Diamond City, even if he hates most of the people there. You remind him of himself when he was that age and he wants to make sure you don't do anything you might end up regretting. He almost adopts you in a way, never really leaving your side out of fear that you'll get hurt. MacCready will do whatever he can to help you reunite with your brother and will be on your side no matter what ends up happening.

Nick feels awful for you. You've lost everything yet here you are trying to gain some semblance of it back. He can't help but want to try and give you some kind of closure for everything you've gone through and will drop everything to try and track down Shaun with you. He's careful with his word choice as he doesn't want you to loose all hope, but he'll tell you the truth if leads end up empty or if there's nothing more he can really do. Nick's not going to lie and tell you everything will be okay, but he will tell you that he'll be there to help you feel better when everything is said and done, no matter how it all plays out.

Cait hates the idea of traveling with a kid, she's so scared that you'll end up like her. She'll do her best to be as closed off as she possibly can so none of her personality rubs off on you, and then she'll take you to an area safer than the combat zone. She doesn't care where it is, as long as you end up in the care of literally anyone else. After that, she'll leave and you'll never see her again.

Danse would immediately take you under his wing and train you to be a soldier. He wouldn't want to shelter you in any way, instead, he'd try to teach you survival and how to live out here in the waste. It'll almost feel like you're in the boy scouts as he'll teach you how to tie knots and make knives and whatnot. He'd hate if you ended up being swayed by the wrong people, or worse, if you ended up dead. He's constantly reassuring you about finding your brother and with the Brotherhood's help, you'll have nothing to worry about.

Preston would be quick to add you to the Quincy group. Something about you being so young and so determined makes him feel all sorts of ways. He's so incredibly appreciative you came along, although, he refuses to make you general, if anything, he'd just promote himself to that position while he takes care of you. Him and Sturges would teach you how to use a hammer so you could aid with rebuilding some of the settlements, but also to just give you a distraction from everything you experienced in the vault. Preston will be super understanding and kind toward you, and the Quincy survivors will begin to feel like the family you never got to grow up with.

Codsworth feels dreadful when he sees you walk down from the vault all cut up and bruised... and alone. He cleans you up and puts you down to sleep. Now that you have no parents he feels that it's his duty to fill that missing role for you and will constantly be doting on you just like your mother would. He finds it so noble that you want to find where your brother was taken and will do everything he can to ensure that you stay healthy enough to be able to continue forward, even if sometimes he struggles to find anything non-irradiated for you to eat.

Piper will be like an older sister to you, giving you a bedtime and occasionally making you attend the school in Diamond City. She's even more determined to get security to start looking into synths and the Institute when she hears you're story and will look into it more deeply while you're in class or busy hanging around Nick. She doesn't care that you're a kid or that this isn't the world you're used to, she's still prepared to defend you and have your voice be listened too.

Curie thinks it's amazing that you've come so far with next to nothing. Her Miss Nanny instincts make her want to travel with you if nothing else than to keep you safe. I don't think she'd have too much of a concept of how dangerous it is for a kid to be wandering around in a wasteland and would probably just treat it as any other normal day. You and her would learn a lot together as you wandered the Commonwealth and it'd probably be the most wholesome pairing on this list as you both still hold that childlike wonder and curiosity.

Strong thinks you're a good enough leader for making it all the way to the top of Trinity Tower with your size, and would agree to follow you just the same as if you were an adult. He thinks your goal in finding your brother is dumb and useless, saying something like "Won't find, Shaun most likely dead". He's got no remorse and if you ever cried in front of him he'd start insulting you. Nonetheless, he'll try to raise you as a mutant and convince you to start doing more mutant-like things. Someone would have to step in and get you or you'd grow up to be a cannibal.

Hancock freezes when he sees a child walking around Goodneighbor. This place isn't for you and he'll go up to you, take your hand, and lead you up to the Old State House to question you about why you're here and where you're parents are. He'll escort you over to Diamond City and hand you off to Nick. He knows he's a bad influence and would rather you be with someone who can actually help you with you're case rather than drifting around in Goodneighbor where anyone could snatch you.

Deacon hates that you joined the Railroad. It just isn’t the place for a kid to be around and he’d rather hand you off to any of the other companions, however, he can’t help but think of how good a kid spy would be or how badly he's always wanted to raise a kid. He’ll try to shelter you and keep you away from violence as best he can while also telling you jokes and teasing you about being the “youngest looking 200 year old” he’s ever seen. He has mixed feelings on it, but he does end up teaching you how to lie really well and get away with things you normally wouldn’t have. Deacon loves having you around, but he can’t help but feel you don’t belong in an environment like this and will almost certainly hand you off to someone else if he feels that it's beginning to get too overwhelming.

X6-88 isn't all too sure how to feel. He's not sure how you managed to make it all the way to the Institute, and he isn't sure why Father would just release you from the vault with nothing going for you. He thinks it's incredibly admirable of you to care so much about your brother and has high respect for you even if you're just a kid. He'll ensure that you'll never have to scavenge for food or water or any other resource ever again. Everything will be taken care of by him and he will make sure that you're 100% safe if you continue traveling the wasteland.

Dogmeat will be slightly more protective over you, sticking closer by your side as you wander around. Sometimes he'll even bite your shirt and drag you into some bushes to avoid a swarm of mutants or raiders. Besides that, nothing will really change with him.

Old Longfellow doesn't know why you keep hanging around him, but he doesn't mind all that much. He'll buy you some apple juice or something while you sit with him in the bar maybe even a sip of his beer and just listen to all your tales and stories of the Commonwealth. He'd end up just accepting that you probably won't leave him alone and just escort you to wherever you want. He might even take you on a boat and teach you how to fish if he likes you enough. One thing you can trust when traveling with him is that he'd never let anyone on the island take advantage of your young age or naivety. He's constantly on the lookout for anyone who might want to influence you in a certain way and will quickly put an end it if he sees it happening.

Gage can't help but laugh at his own expense when he sees a kid walk out of the Gauntlet and into the Cola-Cars Arena. How the two of you seemed to end up in the worst situations will always be funny to him and he hated that he had to be the one to announce you as the Overboss to everyone else in the park. He already knows Nisha is going to tear his throat out when she hears the news. He doesn't really expect you to live for very long and thinks you even being here is an absolute joke, but he'll treat you like he'd treat any other Overboss and would be amazed if you actually got the power working again. In fact, all of the other gang leaders would be. It'd almost be like having a bunch of older siblings defending you at every turn.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fo4 companions #fo4 headcanons #sole survivor fo4 #sole survivor #fallout headcanons #fallout 4 headcanons #maccready fo4 #nick fo4 #nick valentine #rj maccready #cait fo4 #paladin danse #danse fo4 #preston garvey #preston fo4 #codsworth fo4 #piper wright #piper fo4 #curie fo4 #strong fo4 #john hancock #hancock fo4 #deacon fo4 #x6 88 fo4 #old longfellow fo4 #porter gage #gage fo4

[irradiatedpiratebooty]

Pleeeease do tell me more about Francis. Why did he leave the Children? Why did he join them in the first place? What did he do down in that bunker for three years, and what was getting out like? How did he meet the companions he hangs around with?

so, i'm gonna go in order of the timeline of events in his life. and please forgive some mistakes in the writing, i unfortunately didn't luck out with my abilities, and don't usually write anything more than footnotes. though i'm hoping the more I write out posts like this, the better i'll get :)

I also made goofy doodles to accompany the writing to compensate, and to better visualize what i'm trying to convey.

growing up, he mostly drifted from place to place with his family, which mostly consisted of him, his aunt, uncle, and two other cousins of his. his aunt adopted him at a very, very young age.

they mostly kept to DC, but eventually wanted to travel more east.

eventually though, due to family drama and disagreements, his family disbanded and he just traveled with his aunt. His aunt was VERY close with the rest of his family, so their departure took a toll on her.

she was pretty desperate to fill the void that was left, so when the children of atom offered relief from the feeling of abandonment, it didn't take much convincing.

the only catch was they had to leave DC and join the expedition to the commonwealth.

so, how did Francis join the children of atom?

Francis was about 18 at the time, and was used to just- going wherever his aunt went. so he didn't really question it and tagged along. He listened to the preachings and started to buy into the ideology himself. his aunt began to firmly believe too, so that helped condition Francis.

why did he eventually leave?

he left at the age of 20, knowing damn well what the cult does to dissenters. he was aiming to make it all the way back to DC and rejoin his family, but without the travel supplies that isn't realistically possible.

plus he's never been to Boston before, so he had no idea what direction to go in.

what did he do for 3 years?

he managed to wander his way to sanctuary, where he met Nate. (who i decided to make into an old ghoul, who protected vault 111 from the outside. he believed in the rumor that the vault was a cryo-facility, and that comforted him.)

Francis was half-dead when he wandered onto Nate's front yard, but Nate is nice and saw Francis as the exact opposite of a threat. think a newborn puppy on freshly polished tile.

he offered Francis his own bomb-shelter to stay in, taught him how to cook (which ended up being a new hobby for Francis.)

Nate is like a dad to him, so it worked out nicely.

Francis has high perception, and he's not stupid. (he just has TERRIBLE charisma)

so, with his S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes in mind, He began to question the fact Nate had never opened the vault, and tried to convince Nate to finally check in on his family. Nate refused at first, but after sleeping on the idea, he agreed. only to be met with the realization that his spouse was mysteriously murdered, son kidnapped, and only a recording of the crime. (thanks alternate start mod)

baffled by the fact that nobody ever opened the vault doors since the bombs fell, and now troubled with grief, Nate struggled to even face it all. Francis, wanting to repay Nate for giving him a place to live comfortably and safe from the cult who may use him to set an example for others who are thinking of turning their back on atom- promised that he'll seek out Nora's murderer, and most importantly, find their infant son.

where the rest of the game's plot plays out.

one thing to note though is his face markings. like the third eye of atom and the other rings around his face. usually its just makeup in game, but francis, at the time, wanted to prove his devotion in the most... non-lethal way he could think of. and so he got it basically tattooed. talk about regretful tattoos. with all that backstory being said, Francis is pretty happy most of the time!

sure, he's been through a lot, but he tries to see the positives in things. his main goal in life, during the acts in the main story, is to just finally have a place he can call home. maybe one with a comfy couch and a nice garden.

#my art #doodles #fallout 4 #ocs #francis #long post #i hope this isnt too much info at once! #having to restrain my impulse to dump as much information as possible #mainly because i dont want to answer everything at once #where theres no questions left for him #i know it all REEKS of fanfic but its fun #hopefully things become more coherent the more i make these :)

[nearlyrae]

Could I get a oneshot where Near is older like 21 & he has a S/O. He doesn’t know how to show affection but wants to start doing. Could be NSFW up to u 🤍

Hi!! I realize this ask is like, years old. I took a long ass hiatus with no warning due to life stuffs! But I am back baby. (I am bored and coping)

You peeked through your bedroom window, one of the only ones in the building. Snow layered each and every crevice beyond the horizon, the mounds cake-y and white. You craved a hot cup of coffee, but you’d already had your fill, the building mounds of anxiety coursing through your body and threatening to burst.

You gently lowered your head, your cheek fluttering onto your pillow, and found yourself being lulled back to sleep by the harmonies of the cold wintery afternoon. Thank God it’s Saturday.

The room got clearer as you opened your eyes, blurring to life yet being molded by the gentle warm lights you set up. A pale, warm hand rested on your head, unmoving, almost robotically placed, an unsure attempt. You unintentionally twitched in your half asleep stage, and the hand zipped away. He came into vision, his lips turned nervously, eyes wide and gazing down at you.

“Near,” you murmured, lifting yourself and allowing the blanket of drowsiness to fall. “What’re you doing here?”

For a second, you truly believed he did not know what to say. Near was not a proud man. He stuck to his facts, things that could not be tested, or doubted. In the way the grey rings around his eyes rippled, then hid away, his long white lashes curtaining them, you understood.

”I didn’t mean to wake you,” he spoke lowly, the rumble of a man’s voice deep in his throat. “I wanted to let you sleep longer.”

”Do you need me?” You asked, pushing the comforter off you, your bare legs cold against the Air Conditioning. You caught Near’s eye staring at them for a split second, before they were trained on the window.

”No, everything is in order.”

You knew better. The yes was silent.

“Y/N,” Near started, an anxious hand going up to his locks, a whirlwind of silver hair around his index.

You smiled. You always liked when he said your name, your real name, considering it the greatest form of affection.

“Yes,” you whispered. “Nate?”

His lovely pale cheeks reddened, and you giggled, allowing the warmness of his proximity to fill your chest.

“I struggle with affection,” he sat on your bed, propping one knee up to his chest. “I am sure you know this already.”

“Correct,” you smirked, balancing curiosity and wit. “It doesn’t bother me though, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No,” he twisted his strands faster, matching his anxiety. “I want to give you affection.”

”You already do,” You replied. In the little ways you say my name, stay with me, and lend me your company.

”I’ve never been with anyone, Y/N. And I don’t necessarily know how one is supposed to show affection. If there is a cue that allows for it, I do not know it.”

You placed your hand on his, and noticed how he froze up. Then, with wide, pleading eyes, you looked up at him.

”Is this okay?” You ask.

He nodded, face flushed.

“If you think I may or may not be okay with something, you usually ask,” you say, then interlace your fingers with his, almost being able to feel his rapid heartbeat between your touching palms. “But… Some things, you can just play it by ear. If somethings not okay, you can say something in the moment. And little by little, we can see just how far we can get with each other, to the degree we’re most comfortable.”

You smiled, at him, who stared back at you like a deer in headlights. But meekly, he cast his gaze down to your hands, half-lidded, thinking things you couldn’t quite pick up on.

“I trust you,” you nudged him gently, allowing him to look back at you. “And I know you trust me, too. That’s why you don’t have to worry.”

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

You stared at him, your own heart now beating out of control. Then, to quiet the fireworks, you leaned in, and watched him lean in too, colliding lips against each other, the fire bursting, eyes closed, and breaths interlaced.

You didn’t speak, mouth preoccupied, tongue curious and understanding your partner’s, gasping, trying all at once to memorize and savor it all.

His lips were softer than you imagined. Sweeter, saliva tasting like pheromones so delicious only your partner could give you. His face ingrained in your mind when you were only centimeters apart from kissing, eyes half lidded, begging, wanting, a look of pure desire and an unspoken love. It wasn’t an imagination; It was real.

You both pulled away, fully aware that he was on top of you on your bed, and how quickly the situation had escalated. Collecting your breaths, you stared up at him, that same look on his face. Desire. Love.

“I really liked that,” you said, voice sugary and quiet, submitting to that feeling of wanting.

”Me too,” he said, collecting his own breaths. “I liked that very much.”

“I am so glad that…” You let out a long sigh. “That you want me that way.”

Near looked away for a second, then locked eyes with you, and you became conscious of his arms on either side of your head, his knee only inches away between your thighs, and how his shirt seemed to hang down lower, showing a bit of his chest underneath. Intensity.

”Y/N, I want you very much,” He admitted. “But I am afraid of these feelings, and afraid of what they might make me do. I do not want to hurt you, or cause you grief.”

”But you didn’t hurt me,” you rose your hand up to his hair, gently caressing it. “You made me happy.”

”All I want is to make you happy,” He tried to scoot away, adjusting a discomfort on the seam of his pants.

You held him there, smiling.

”You make me happy.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close in a warm embrace. He was warm, and his heart beat incredibly fast at your touch. If he could put his heart in your hands, you would not let it come to harm.

Even though the outside was covered in a thick layer of snow, you felt warm that night, and was sure that he was too.

#death note #nate river #near headcanons #near x reader #death note headcanons

[camgoloud]

one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!

like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!

but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!

and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!

but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3

#it's like. he doesn't want to be a spokesperson! he shouldn't have to End Homophobia by becoming zava 2.0! in fact it would not be possible #for him to do this even if he DID come out publicly and then became the best goal-scorer the league has ever seen because the people who are #the problem will ALWAYS manage to find something to attack him for no matter what he does #what's important to me and i think to him as well is that he has the confidence in himself that he needs to perform at his own personal best #and that his teammates recognize this and support him the same way he has always supported them both on and off the pitch #and while a part of me would have liked to see a public coming-out arc i completely get why they're not going there. it would be a lot to #tackle and this season is already getting justified criticism for spreading itself too thin #i think it would have been POSSIBLE to do and do well but. it would place a LOT of constraints on the entire rest of the plot #and i do recognize somewhere in the back of my brain that colin is not ACTUALLY the protagonist of this show for most people #so them choosing to take the character in the ‘i don’t want to be a spokesperson’ direction instead makes sense and was handled very well #anyway. one other reason i’m pleased about all of this is that while most of my recent tl fic is no longer canon-compliant as of this week. #i sure did NAIL the happy ending being an assist and not a scored goal. have been thinking these thoughts for WEEKS and i feel so vindicated #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #colin hughes

[jamiesfootball]

Anyways. Back before season three aired, my working theory for What Ted's Deal was - with his advice to Jamie, with the panic attacks that were layered Jamie and his son - that it would turn out that his late father had also been abusive, but that with his father's death Ted had never processed it.

Obviously the show didn't go that route, but in general these were the points that I was daisy-chaining together to build something of a narrative flow:

Ted preaches kindness and positivity but also struggles with his own repressed anger and inability to be direct in what he wants. He continually, pathologically, puts people before himself, to the point that it's becoming a breaking point in his marriage.

Ted repeatedly praises 'women' for being the more emotionally intelligent of the genders. He looks at toxic masculinity as not just a thing to be examined and overcome, but the root of why men struggle.

He himself is a product of the same toxic male behavior, and while he tries to lead by example as an individual, there's a part of that culture that he almost sees as... natural? Like a foregone conclusion. A lot of his methods for dealing with the team in season one happen within the same social boundaries he decries. If he can get Roy to step up, if he can get Roy and Jamie to stop fighting and call a truce, then everything else will fall in place, because men follow a hierarchical structure. This is How Locker Rooms Work, and-

I always go back to Jamie's first, open receptiveness to Ted's 'one in eleven' speech as the first sign that Ted doesn't know how to deal with things directly. This scene reads as Ted being very taken aback by Jamie's willingness to listen. It has shades of their later scene at the Crown & Anchor in it, with Ted being the one who pulls away from a conversation that has the ability of getting emotionally direct and real.

Ted's repressed anger. His shouting at Jamie in 1x06 over practice, but also his shouting at Nate when Nate tries to stuff the letter under his hotel room door.

Ted emotionally reaches for the bottle like. A noticeable amount of times. But especially when he's getting divorced.

Every Sunday afternoon Ted's father used to take him to a sports bar. From age of 10 til 16.

Ted's mom is completely incapable of being direct

Ted and his mom never processed or talked about his dad's death

Ted looks devastated when he sees Jamie with his father in the boot room, but ultimately walks away

Ted sends Jamie a token to show he's not alone (Ted soldier)

Next time Jamie tries to talk to Ted at the bar, Jamie opens with addressing the subject directly (the Ted soldier) and Ted deflects. Asks about City. Won't look him in the eye. Doesn't say anything to Jamie admitting he left City to piss off his dad. He just says that line about how sometimes having a tough dad is what makes you better.

He thought he knew what he was doing [about Jamie] but Sam 'went and unsettled it.' Some people aren't lucky enough to have good dads.

Ted welcomes Jamie back but keeps his distance (much more than in season 1).

Ted begins having panic attacks that feature Jamie and his son.

Ted admits panic attacks linked directly to his father's death.

So this takes us through season two, and at this point my working theory was what if it turned out that Ted most of Ted's Ted-ness had been an active effort on his own part to become something less like his own father? It would explain his disdain for male-coded behaviors while also explaining why he seems unable to truly break away from them. it would explain his people-pleasing habits (and meeting his mom and knowing she is also allergic to asking for things, I think this could still fit as a trauma response). It would explain his putting women on a pedestal, if he had a bad male role model to begin with. It would explain how his demeanor around Jamie changes so much when they have the 'tough dads' talk turning into something closed off when his body language with Jamie has always been open before (and there's a lovely parallel with how they're both sat at the bar in that shot too). Hell it would add additional weight to that talk if it turned out he was also speaking of himself. His panic attacks would make sense, seeing himself in Jamie but also his son and his own role as a dad.

That, plus Ted being a character we regularly see drinking something harder than wine or beer, usually when he's emotionally stressed. Plus Ted's dad bringing him to a sports bar every Sunday for years, and at a young age too. Plus Jamie's dad being an alcoholic. That's where I thought this was going- I thought it would turn out that the late Lasso had also been an alcoholic and a tough dad. It just seemed the obvious conclustion at the time, to make the Ted & Jamie parallel into a full parallel.

Then you add in the fact that Ted married his college sweetheart and then waited until they were in their thirties before having a kid (In the midwest. Where he definitely would've been pressured about it) and all of this to me added up to a troubled man who struggled with the idea of becoming a father long before he had a son. Someone who spent years creating a facade, pretending (like his mom) that things were okay. Someone who maybe never felt right blaming his dad for any of it, not when it became so clear at the end how much his dad was struggling.

Only to have that facade crumble the second someone else from similar circumstances showed up to challenge it.

His dad was a product of his time, the same way that Ted is a product of his dad, the same way men are just a product of toxic masculinity, and Ted doesn't know how to 'deal' with any of it but he'd thought he'd gotten to the point in life where he had some solutions. Only to find that those solutions didn't work when held up to a mirror.

So yeah. That was my theory. Then season three happened, and I realized that unfortunately my theory had a flaw. See, I was so busy looking for a Watsonian diagnosis that would make Ted's idiosyncrasies make sense, that I completely missed the fact that the problem was Doylist to begin with. The show writers never meant for us to read into all of that, because the show writers themselves didn't see anything contrary, worrisome, or tone-deaf about Ted's behavior. Not from a toxic masculinity standpoint, and certainly not from the standpoint of discussing abuse of a male character.

It's not Ted who dismisses Jamie's dad's abuse. It's the writers. Which unfortunately means, since Ted by extension is the show, that it is Ted. Which is why all of us are left watching scenes like the 'tough dads' scene or the Mom City scene and going-

What the hell, Ted?

#apologies if this is rather rambly #i think i lost the point a few times #anyways here. have an old theory that got axed with the rest of them #though I stand by the idea that Ted also had depression in season three #ted lasso #jamie tartt #ted lasso meta #cw suicide mention #for Ted's dad #cw abuse #for jamie and (in this version) ted's dad #this is the longer version of the previous post that I mentioned in the tags

[kiankiwi]

What about Jacob and reader goofing off during his set bc he has a twenty minute break but reader is super hormonal bc she’s pregnant and is like “noooooo don’t leave”

I couldn't think of anything goofy so I hope them having cuddles is okay!

*

I can see Jacob getting lost in Nate's thoughts and stuff and of course being in Nate's head can be super scary for him at times depending on what kind of scene they're filming and so he clearly needs help coming back to himself when he steps off set. He books it to his trailer where he knows we're hanging out reading, sleeping, doom scrolling, having a snack, something he just knows he needs a cry or a cuddle.

He storms in and we can immediately tell he's struggling from the storm cloud on his face. "Hey, bubba, hey, breathe." He takes a deep breath as you gather him up and hug him hard. "You're you bubba, not him." You whisper. He nods and steps back when he's ready and you can already tell the Nate part is gone, you have Jacob fully back now. "I'm okay, I'm good." He looks around. "You haven't been bored have you? I feel bad just leaving you in here."

You show him your phone which you've been reading off all day. "Nah, I'm okay, I've just been resting and reading and hanging out." Jacob gave you another hug, rubbing your back. "Well I got about a 30 minute break so I'm all yours for a while." You eyed the little kitchen of the trailer. "You should eat something." He shook his head. "Some assistants are getting us a full lunch spread. Can we cuddle instead? I miss you when I'm in his head. He's always angry."

You nod. "Course. Cmon bubba." You take Jacob's hand and lead him back to the large bed in the back of the trailer. You slowly lay down on the bed, getting comfortable while Jacob takes his shirt off and wraps his arms around your belly. "You okay?" He asks, sighing contentedly. "Mhm, I set an alarm so you can sleep if you want."

You both groaned when the timer on your phone went off 25 minutes later. "Fuck," Jacob groaned, rolling onto his back and rubbing his eyes. "I don't want to leave, I'm coooomfy!" He whined. He grumbled as he got up to find his shirt and go back to set. You woke up when you realized his warm body wasn't next to yours anymore. "No," you reached our your hand toward him. He took your hand and kissed it gently. "Don't go!" You cried, overly emotional and still sleepy.

"It's okay babe, I'll be back in a couple hours, you can go back to sleep." You sat up slowly beginning to cry. "Y-yeah but I sleep better when you're here.... I m-m-miss you." Jacob cupped your face in his hand, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. "I know, I'm sorry lovie. Do you want to come with me to set? I'm sure they'll let you watch? I can get you a snack and a drink too."

You cried for a few minutes more as Jacob stroked your hair. "It's okay baby, I'm sorry I've been gone all day." You attempted to swing your legs out of bed and stand, "I-I'll go with you... just help me up, my bumps too big." Jacob chuckled and kissed your hair before helping you stand and taking your hand.

"We gotta go back to the make up trailer first so I can it fixed up since I slept though." You nodded, squeezing Jacob's hand.

#dad!jacob elordi #dad!jacob #x reader #kiwisblurbs #dad!jacob on set