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t1meslayer · 2 months

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Trying something a little different today.

Inspired by the incomparable @alchemicallymoon, I'm going to do a postmortem commentary on my latest fanfiction. If you haven't read "Stone-Cold Lovers" Chapter 3 on AO3, now's your chance!

I've done similar things in the past, with my Pre-Preparation of Shiver post for "Splatoon B-Mix," but I'm really testing the waters to make this a more regular occurrence — possibly even going back to older works. If you enjoy, let me know!

Tons of rambling beneath the cut. You've been warned <3

Alright. I can't think of any better place to begin talking about "Stone-Cold Lovers" than to mention it's a classic piece (in the era sense, though also in the literary sense). I started publishing fanfic in 2019, right around the time I was graduating from college. A bunch of pieces I wrote are still exclusively available on FanFiction.net, but I've slowly been transitioning them with a fresh coat of paint.

"Stone-Cold Lovers" was the sixth story I published on FanFiction. As I mentioned in Chapter 1 of the AO3 version, it came back to mind after Pokemon Masters EX introduced a Halloween alt for Roxanne.

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Pokemon Crystal was my first "real" video game (not counting educational content like Sesame Street games), but Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire began my infatuation with the series. This was partially due to the fact that I could read the text on my own, which meant I could keep replaying to do little challenge runs.

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Fun Fact: One of the most prominent challenge runs I can recall involved catching a full team of Wingull. I named the Pelipper of my team "Sergeant," and the rest had other army designations. I would later copy this idea using shiny Ambipom and Aipom in HeartGold and SoulSilver that I obtained through entirely legal means for a rare item Pickup group.

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More Fun Fact: My favorite challenge run to this day is completing Pokemon FireRed with a single Clefable. I always really liked how many TMs a single Clefable could learn.

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All of that is to say I seared Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald into my brain by playing it all the time on the schoolyard and at my grandparents' house in Florida. It remains my favorite region to this day. However, I didn't fall in love with Roxanne until the Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire character designs came out.

Important note: I have shipping charts for basically every character-heavy... Anything. Something about pairing people up always makes my brain go brr. My body of creative writing speaks to many of the headcanons I've whipped up over the years. Similarly, I have headcanons about which Pokemon protag serves as the "main character" or "rival" in each title.

Yes, you can ask about my opinions. I will undoubtedly answer.

Brendan and Roxanne came into this framework because as much as I also love Brendan and May, I quickly fell into the rabbit hole of Brendan Champion/May Contest Idol, and therefore I'm legally obligated to ship May and Lisia. My original FanFiction Author Note says I'd been thinking about the idea for "a while," but frankly I don't remember where exactly it originated. All I know is that my goal was May scolding Brendan for being an oblivious dope.

This is not autobiographical.

As far as I know.

My truest sense-memory regarding this piece is writing the Rustboro opening in a Barnes & Noble parking lot at night, on the same night that I scored a new freelance gig (it didn't last all too long in the end). However, I helpfully noted that the Brendan and May banter was inspired by a FanFiction story called "Critical Hit" by Alphinia (it's still live!) and Carly Chaikin's Darlene from Mr. Robot. That was ending in 2019. Pokemon Sword and Shield were about to come out. The timeline lines up.

It's also very funny to imagine May as a raunchy, tomboyish smartass who also happens to love the fame that comes with princess-y Pokemon Contest shenanigans. Good headcanon.

The seeds of an idea for a date follow-up existed back then. My first inkling was to do a scene where, essentially, Brendan fucks the whole thing up by using Sandstorm in the middle of a food court because he's trying to impress Roxanne. Most of the set dressing around that, such as using ORAS' Street Thug trainer class (here portrayed by Shio — after ramen to reference the naming scheme of every trainer in Mauville Food Court), came later.

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Fun Fact (again): This is the first piece I've written using a new program called StimuWrite by Eve Harms, which was suggested by my beta reader. I liked being able to put my brain somewhere other than a blank white page, though all of the extra bells and whistles aren't all that necessary for me. Plus, I wound up jumping back-and-forth between the page and my 20 tabs of research anyway, so...

We'll see where this tool lands.

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A lot of my decisions regarding the style of "Stone-Cold Lovers" Chapter 3 were based on concurrent reading; I recently joined a book club, and we just finished Babel by R.F. Kuang. My experience with Zine editors such as @kiliofdurinsline (Shrapnel) on Homemade in Hyrule (still available to pre-order!!!) helped me focus on creative writing structure and clarity rather than the more "vibes" based approach I leaned on. But Babel's rich descriptions suggested that I perhaps moved too far in the direction of snippets. So, here I tried to more robust scene-setting.

The bit about Gardevoir reading Brendan's emotions is being back on my bullshit trying to capture "vibes," though. I'm often a proponent for Psychic-types having full telepathy, especially Gardevoir given its canon emotional connections, but I decided the silent implications were more fun to play. I'm also a big proponent of leaning into the medium by using all of AO3's formatting HTML for things like Gardevoir's text. Hence my abundance of italics, or even the House of Leaves-style page falling apart for Arven's nightmare in "Paradiso."

Another note from Shrapnel that I took to heart: Give each character a stable of description types to help them emphasize their personality. That's why Gardevoir's movements use ballet terms (many of which I had to look up, like "bras bas").

One bit that I thought about a lot was Roxanne's response to weather talk. I knew that she should flirt by saying any weather would be great alongside Brendan, and the verbiage "would that it were" stuck. A bit of Googling revealed that the phrase doesn't mean what my brain thought it does — it actually refers to wanting a better reality than you currently have. But it rolls off the tongue... So, I decided to play with that disparity by having know-it-all Roxanne correct her old professor, even when recounting a heartfelt memory.

Also, I'd be lying to you if I said goofy teenager who can't speak French wasn't an integral part of my planning.

The battle scene is pretty straightforward, it was mostly fun to incorporate the idea of Brendan being over-leveled by having him immediately wipe the floor with this tough guy, Shio. This especially goes well with the Mauville Food Court gimmick of finishing your battles within set time limits. Hopefully little descriptors like the space-warping Boomburst help make up for how short it is.

But with all of that said, there's only one place left to go:

Roxanne's outfit

That's right! Brendan wears his contest attire, but Roxanne wears an entirely unique creation. I did something very similar to my experiments with Shiver by digging around Tumblr tags for specific outfit pieces to cobble together as part of Roxanne's preppy and academic wardrobe.

I essentially wanted to put Roxanne in an "elevated" version of her typical uniform. For example, something with a nicer blouse. When I saw this post by stiefel-rock-bluse, I knew it was the one. That ruffled 'V' is perfectly suited for comparisons to a fossilized ribcage.

Had to tuck that blouse into a nice skirt, too. I did toy with the idea of going full suit-style with slacks, but Roxanne feels like a skirt girl to me. So I settled on this pleated skirt shared by zoesrepository, at least in-part because I wanted a brown-and-white motif to reflect... Rock stuff.

Having exposed legs also introduced the opportunity to describe a bit of Roxanne's obsession with fossils. If I get callouses on my hands from doing ceramics, she can have some scuffs on her legs from digging in the dirt.

My inspiration for her off-the-shoulder draped jacket is largely me doing silly cape shenanigans with my jackets, but for the style I went with this cover image from an article by The Girl From Panama:

In brown, of course. That really emphasizes the idea that it looks like strata.

Because rocks.

Unrelated to rocks, I was originally toying with a different idea for her jacket, one based on this image of Kendall Jenner uploaded by disarmluna:

Ultimately I liked the draped idea better, but I kept on the idea of it being corduroy. Also, I took Roxanne's "loafers" from here.

For accessories, I riffed on one of my favorite pieces of lore introduced by Pokemon Masters EX: the idea that Steven Stone is in a club with all of the Rock-type experts who love collecting shiny rocks. Steven knows how to give some specialized gifts, and in this case I gave Roxanne a single earring, as shared by gemville, because 1) red; 2) flowers; and 3) stalactite. I went with one rather than a pair because I think it's a cute asymmetrical thing.

Then, of course, I imagine her nails alternate blue and red ala Nosepass/Probopass. Finally, Roxanne's elevated school uniform look had to retain a tie. What better way to keep that tie in place than with a clip inspired by the one, the only, our boy: Anorith.

If the Yanma inhaler from "Peaks and Caverns" is anything to go by, y'all know I love to invent kitschy merchandise that will unfortunately never be acknowledged by Game Freak/The Pokemon Company.

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That's about all I've got. I'm not sure whether I'll return to this story again — the five-year pipe dream is already a big accomplishment in my book. But I'm really glad I finally closed the book on a longstanding idea in celebration of Valentine's Day! And I'm sure one day, if I can get through the rest of my insane backlog, I'd be happy to write further shenanigans between these two Hoenn lovebirds.

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talasterism · 8 months

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welcome to the very first installement of Winnow Weekly!!

today we meet the (once) noble Den Daev’yana, (Seed of Rebirth version), and Winnow's blood family. EXCEPT! since nine months the Den is considered missing, excepting two people - Zyn, whom Winnow likes the least in the family (he's the most pathetic meow meow but in a deragatory way), and Winnow, who had been in Dwendalian Empire in the time of the Disappearing. AND!! in the first session, upon Winnow returning to Xhorhas, we attend a ball and hear the announcement from the Bright Queen that Den Daev'yana is now officially dissolved since no progress has been made in finding them :') winnow did Not take the news well & now is even more determined to find them. exceeept he is wanted in Rosohna, where the family was last seen, for the murder his mother framed on him. (the family is messy to say the least).

everyones introductions and winnow's love language (nickanmes) below

Eala Daev’yana, she/they, drow (blue), 279 (Misuthar 11th 557 PD)

sweet mother go puhpuhpuh. OG Daev’yana. her favourite snack is toffee and their favourite artform is sculpture. has a very businesswomany clothing style and long hair (with a marriage bead) she keeps mostly free or does a sleek tight braid for Business ™ times. had a very strong tea-fortune-telling phase where she bothered everyone with not throwing away their teas. murderer (accidental? we simply dont know)

Luathi Daev’yana. she/her, drow (lilac), 301 (Cuersaar 20th, 535 PD)

mean toxic mom go brr. winnow always tried to impress her more than Eala & rogued mostly for her. only drinks black iced coffee. very goal-driven. loves to read in her armchair. if she had discord or a mobile phone it would always be on do not disturb.

Zyn Daev’yana, he/him, drow (lilac), younger sibling early 220s

Sareil Daev’yana, he/him, drow, 98 (738 PD), oldest sibling / adopted into Den

Luathi’s younger brother. He must spend a good fortune on hair bleach and an hour a fortnight to buzz it short again (blasphemy in the family who cares about hair traditions above any others, if you ask Winnow). writes embarassing poetry (in canon it's just taylor swift lyrics). Regularly shows up for family board game nights, and yet almost never wins (because he’s a loser, one could argue).

Sareil is a classic gay romantic whose first love is academia, and probably always will be. He likes to read poetry while looking out of the window in his favourite spot in the tower - especially on rainy days-, and drinking mugs of tea gone cold and magically reheated over three to five open books while hectically noting down questions to his own theories. Winnow and he have a softly quiet friendship, the kind where you talk to each other more through book annotations than with face-to-face words and make the other cup of tea when you make yourself one. Winnow's nickname for him is 2D PhD (cause his previous last name also started w D and he’s a nerd) or Reirei.

Orlas Daev’yana, she/they, drow, 77 (Thunsheer 1st, 759 PD), older sibling

FAVOURITE NPC!!! As far as being the firsborn and the oldest child of a noble Den (for a while, at least) goes, Orlas dealt with the expectations placed upon her quite graciously. They were an A student in all aspects and institutions, an excellent notetaker and moderator of meetings between Den Thelyss and Den Daev’yana, and even brought Winnow back home (more on that another time). Coincidentally, they are also the one who told him the truth, and losing a couple of points in their mothers’ eyes along with a promise braid. Not that it mattered - only those who knew her before Winnow entering their life could see that she had changed since he moved in. Something about them was opening slowly, like a kitten’s eye for the first time, something like happiness and relief.

If Winnow would ever write his own book, he most certainly would start with a small collection of short stories, dedicating each one to Orlas. He calls her l'Orla and cydan (undercommon affectionate term for big sister), or page Orlas in mock fancy tone And an accent, turning it more into Pajeeeh Orleeeh when he teases them. Gender-wise is a sister but not a daughter.

Garle’as Daev’yana, they/them, drow, 51 (785PD), older sibling

Somehow, from the very first day, Winnow never really liked Garle’as, and neither did they like him back. For the entirety of Winnow’s life in the Den, the relationship between the two was tensely taut, fuelled by mutual jealousy of each other - the new attention Winnow was getting versus the comfortable history Garle’as shared with everyone, the disinclination to share inside jokes, the coldness of shoulders turned to each other in sharp contrast of the warmth offered by the others. With finally more than enough people in his life to love, Winnow was not worried about their mutual annoyance with each other - if anything it’s kind of fun to have a relaxed nemesis, and no efforts were made from either to warm their relationship (except of course, staying civil during dinners and family trips. That mostly involved the mothers strategically placing the children out of each other’s sight and hoping for the best after they learned that chastising Garle’as publicly wasn’t doing any wonders, and it worked surprisingly well). At no point did Winnow think about giving them a nickname, not even a shitty one.

Ta’nuil Daev’yana, he/they, drow, 17 (819 PD), younger sibling

Ta’nuil - like most members of the family - has ADHD, except it’s multiplied by being a kid. In the Den, he is famous for changing hobbies every two to six business weeks (well, at least at the ripe age of being 7). Whenever Winnow’s ADHD alligned with Ta’n’s, he accompanied him in adventures of learning new crafts: through vicariously changing hobbies, Winnow has learned about himself that he likes to work with paper - like scrapbooking, paper sculting, and origami. Winnow’s nickname for them is spindle (cause he likes to spin) and Nui.

Elossu Daev’yana, she/her, drow, 8 (828 PD), youngest sibling

Winnow left when she was only 2, and before her appearance in his life thought himself to hate all babies - until she was the first exception. As a baby she was quite fussy and looking for undivided attention. Winnow liked to read to her. Winnow’s nickname for her is peacheeks (for her soft pinkish cheeks).

I even came up with Undercommon writing to transcribe everyone's names, but more on that later,,,

#dnd illustration #character design #family tree #xhorhas #winnow drihz #winnow weekly

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murdering-time · 2 years

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(// true! I do get that- shipping is nice and all, especially when you get down to the character development and relationships and stuff, but what about the ones that want to do something general?? Without it being overwhelming including so many people at one time?

Also mun, you say ramble like that's a threatening promise but I promise you I would watch the absolute shit out of a video essay on jervis tetch- just can't promise it'll be in one setting, since adhd and attention span go brr)

-- ☎️

// I'm keeping this post to write the thoughts on. //

Annotated by Dictaphone

I am going to ramble about Jervis Tetch because I need to get this essay done. I'm so glad I have typed his name in so much that my phone fucking recognizes his name, great, this makes it so much easier, let me get the post up really quickly, I have it saved somewhere in my drafts but there are a lot of thoughts about Jervis that I have have and I shall - I shall voice those -- I shall voice these opinions.

hold on ok where do I want to start...

So the ask post says "mun you say ramble like that's a threatening promise but I would watch the absolute shit out of a video essay on Jervis Tetch, can't promise it will be in one sitting since ADHD and attention span that"

Still I'm going to get my WordPress up really quickly because I've written most of this already ... I don't need to login in, do I not have my phone... I don't... is it -- excuse me

No you know what - I was going to talk - I was going to talk while I get this loaded so the thing I really like about Jervis is that there's a lot.

There's a lot. There are so many qualities to him and things that I want to touch upon; his obsessive nature; the clear mental illness coding; and just I guess if he could be saved in general... so to start with would be the hyperfixations and The Obsession

I don't know how to do like enter so I'm just going to rattle it off so when was -- this is purely the Animated Series for the record and just because that's the one I'm most familiar with -- so this will likely be a ramble that I natter on and on and on about; I can make it more coherent at some point when I read it

Judge and jury; analysing Jervis tetch

a dive into the portrayal of decline within Batman

and it really is just like - that's another thing I want to touch on Alice, the Decline, and just him in general, so I basically started to say it's like -

it is a common statement among many DC fans to say that Batman does more harm than good; whether this is to Gotham, the people of it, or those who become his nemesis. the Animated Series even goes so far as to hold a mock trial for the bat himself; however this small piece won't be diverge further than the episode mentioned as "mad as a hatter"

I will reference some of the other episode but it is - it is good to keep it to "mad as a hatter" as enough. after all if we want to see if Bats really did cause Jervis' downfall then his precipice must be identified either before or during his first interaction with batman himself, and depending on that, whether or not Tetch could have been redeemed and when so.

The first introduction to our Mad Hatter is seemingly a regular rendition of a scientist exstatic over his device and having finished the project with outstanding results, already someone to sympathise with, he's achieved a goal and something clearly he's been discouraged to do if not definitely mocked for by the debunking naysayers within his community.

As "they all laughed" when he proposed the thesis, already it is clear that the man will go out of his way to achieve his goals and to gather definite results and prove to himself that he's worth something within his field and the company.

The underlying issue is, of course, self confidence...and where the desire to succeed comes from, taking note of the fact that his goal was to control creatures to act "more civilized". But even then, he goes as far as to state he could "control anything". This need for manipulation is clearly where Mr. Tetch's downfall begins.

Within 5 minutes into the 20-minute episode roughly quarter of the way through we're shown that service has the ability to be reasonable if not a mild mannered man

yeah it is clear that he suffers from some form of social anxiety as it is Made clear in his introduction.

it is apparent when talking to to Kate's he clearly has some form of hierarchical understanding of the company aware that Cates sits above him and Bruce sits above her. it is to Tetch's understanding that he must be accepted by his peers to be respected, his work done with the rats shows a clear understanding of not on neurological prowess but also a technological strength in that he has worked on his own circuitry and that he has developed his own programming and -- and Concepts for mind control

It is that we are introduced to Alice but we are also introduced through -- through subtlety and -- and background Cues that Jervis has an obsessive personality. So the episode itself is called "mad as a hatter", we are then introduced to Jervis tetch immediately after we see he in the background has an Alice in Wonderland poster.

It is never drawn upon though it is upon meeting the character Alice that we see this is where the focus of the episode will go and knowing that he is "mad as a hatter" we can only assume that this is where his downfall begins.

Prior to his downfall, it is established that Alice and him have a close relationship because she treats him as a human being; he goes on to say that she's the only one to really understand him and it is at that point that Alice says that she was lucky to have a man like him in her life alongside her partner who has not yet been introduced --introduced in a sentence in that we are made aware of the fact that she has a relationship. we are experiencing the shock alongside Jervis

Except in our case the shock is not so much we are hurt, it is more so we were led to believe that with Alice he is very very clearly smitten and very clearly socially anxious. We were to believe that either this would be that he is Hatter and she is his Alice, or that this story would be more likely his downfall over Alice.

It is interesting to note that in the original text for Alice in Wonderland she was uninvited to the tea party and that Jervis is the uninvited party in this episode... it is unusual connection to make but it is also something worth noting almost as if the to the two texts are foils to each other or rather the two medias are foils to each other; so where as the Mad Hatter was already mad in Wonderland we get to see Jervis go mad, and as Alice was uninvited in Wonderland we see Jervis as the uninvited party.

Whether the writer's intended this or not, Jervis is very clearly coded in a certain way -- he is very clearly coded to have some form of mental illness -- most like other roagues. Whether this is because of the 90s being the 90s, or because the writer's wanted them to be mentally ill and and create a tragedy from that --

See I think Edward would be the best example referring to Riddlers reform where we see him have a breakdown. it is a tragedy in a bitter sense. You can see this brilliant wonderful man who has a mind worth bragging about go down a root of his own self-fulfilling prophecy of a complete meltdown.

That's another thing for another day

So within the analysis we can see that his obsessive nature towards this presence is derived from the fact that he's obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. I do not believe that he was obsessed with Alice because of who she is I believe he was obsessed with her because she was caring to him and because her name is Alice.

It stems from the work that he's obsessed with, because it is to with something that he cares about and she has treated him kindly in an environment where he's been ostracised and socially neglected due to his mental health, and the way he acts, and his obsessive nature, and his completely ridiculous scientific reports that he divulges in. So when she treats him kindly, and the fact that her name is Alice just completes the the prime example of whatever he's looking for; kindness, sympathy, and better yet something wonderland.

Even when it's his private studies with the mice that replicates Wonderland because you can see the dormouse having tea so all throughout everything Jervis does it's motivated by Wonderland in some sense.

You see him grow from that anxious man when first meeting Bruce and then he grows agitated at Kate's -- I believe I need to refresh myself with the episode so I usually know it fairly well -- I usually know it word for word --

So he grows agitated upon hearing that Alice has a partner because he -- he already thinks that he deserves her because he sees himself too consciously as the Hatter -- he thinks that Alice is part of his world, not part of Billy's world, not that he knows who Billy is right now.

So it's at that point already that I truly think he is beyond saving. The fact that he or rather -- you know that's where we see the downfall truly start -- I don't think batman had anything to do with it, but I do think that Jervis not getting the help he required made or not even being able to recognise that he ostracize himself and isolates himself to a point of obsessive Madness, I think the fact that wasn't brought up is definitely not great. I think at that point, this is -- we were -- we see the start of the downfall as the rest of the episode plays out but it's definitely that Turning Point where he sees himself entitled to Alice.

Through the anger of her already having a partner that he basically Dons the Hatter Namesake.

I think through his obsession and through his isolation he -- he has his downfall and it's a lot of the rogues that do this to themselves almost in the sense that they are truly helpless to the way that their minds think.

Which makes sense because a lot of them are coded to be mentally ill I think the only person so far that I've gotten up to --I've gotten up Clock King -- no that's not true I've got a past that, I've gotten up to fear of Victory -- but through -- through watching the episodes the only person I have no remorse for in the animated series is the first iteration of crane because the first iteration of Crane was merciless -- he was merciless and it was painful to watch How Little remorse he had and -- and his motivation was spite so I-- I can't empathize with the animated Crane at all nothing -- I can't -- I cannot emphasise with the "nothing to fear" crane at all -- but it's interesting to compare them all against each other.

Scientists you can compare-- each scientist against each other especially scientists with an obsessive drive.

We completely and directly compare and contrast Jervis and Kirk, both the scientist with an obsessive drive, both the scientists who go out of their way to understand their obsession, and -- and both have research fuelled by obsession. Kirk has his bats Jervis is Wonderland.

So you have on one hand Kirk langstrom who is literally sacrificing his body and himself to his work, and on the other hand you have Mad Hatter who's sacrificing the people around him and it is interesting to note that Kirk is socialised and has a wife where as Jervis is completely isolated on his own.

It almost begs to-- to say that the people around you help you become who you are or at least in rogue senses... so Kirk you know his wife helps him in the end if I remember correctly and Jervis just doesn't because Kirk has that support but Jervis does not have that support at all so he becomes Maddened

It's more of a tragedy because you see it have an effect on him and those around him. Jervis has no support system at all and it's just-- it's just that notion of -- you know -- if you are supported you will still you know -- you -- you are still susceptible to Villainy but there is a way to help because instead of going to Arkham I believe Kirk is given a cure so there's this Direct comparison between the two of them; both scientists, both to have romantic interests, both have an obsessive personality, one of them is cured the other's sent to Arkham. I don't see Jervis not going to Arkham but I do pity him I do pity him a lot

With his relationship, to how he sees himself, there is clearly a lot of -- a lot of similarities between how he sees himself and how he sees the Hatter.

For example, he talks to his mice which then they have tea as like in the book, and he -- he has found people outcast him for being eccentric so he truly believes that because he is outcast he is mad or at least is made to be mad.

Additionally with how he is physically and with the way they designed him he looks very similar to the original Hatter it makes him even more singled out, so when he is isolated and he's working on his neurotech and he's obsessed with the book etc etc it is -- it is like he is projecting and to an extreme extent as well where in the book The hatter and Alice are amicable together -- it is completely different in the animated series

This is in contrast to Cates is specifically important because we are following Tetch's narrative. We as the audience villainize Kate's alongside Jervis Tetch that we only see her as a very blunt and forward woman and the way that she treats Tetch seems unfair. That we have only known him for a couple of seconds to be positive immediately the narrative is already biased because we don't know the context of what Cates is like. because she has every right to be angered and concerned and we can only assume that this is at the end -- or this is the at the end of something that has been building and building for a while.

And so with that in mind, we have to understand that where Cates is very career-orientated, she clearly cares for Alice to some degree. You can see her comfort her when she's left by Billy, she clearly doesn't emphasise but she has a lot of sympathy. Knowing this we can somewhat established that Cates is looking out for Alice and the fact that she has a distaste of Tetch proves that this is to some extent -- if not a lot of extent -- nefarious.

We also don't know how old he is. We know that Alice looks incredibly young and already there with that like seemingly large age-gap it's even worse.

I truly believe that Alice is too nice for her and good. When Jervis takes her out to Wonderland -- which is another thing and itself you can analyse -- that in itself she says that he's a silly little man so you already get painted -- you already get painted -- you already get painted this picture of -- of like naivety almost -- but like -- kind naivety so she definitely -- I don't know -- she was susceptible to -- to -- to -- no, not manipulation necessarily -- but definitely some form of mind fuckery...

I mean it's Tetch, you know you don't get Jervis without mind fucking but like I don't know -- I think the fact that Alice is the way that she is and she's supposed to be that -- if she's clearly looking at the good and everyone...

It is is any old Alice for Jervis but this Alice because of the way that she is and that -- it just makes it even worse because she's in more danger towards Jervis which I truly believe was what Cates was on the lookout for.

BASICALLy in conclusion, no Batman didnt make Tetch, he was simply a catalyst and Jervis was already the Hatter the moment we met him. He just chose to don the namesake after growing posessive of Alice to an obsessive degree.

#jesus fucking christ I rambled #here you go #you can see how I talk #Im glad I didnt stutter half as much as I usually do thank fucking god #though a lot of words I had to correct just because my phone didnt recognise I stumble on a good few words #anyway yeah #Jervis Essay #but like #not a formal one #just thoughts on a page #try to make sense of that what you can #Ill write it up later properly #ive been meaning to do this a while #ooc #mun #long post

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highkingpetermagnificent · 6 months

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Dear Yuletide Writer:

First off, I want to say thank you for writing me a story! This is such a fun challenge, and I'm looking forward to whatever you write. I know I'll love it, so don't stress too much! :)

I want to include a list of tropes I like, tropes I don't like, definite DNWs, and then individual blurbs about each fandom I've requested. Just as an overall note, I'd like for the fic to be a G or T rating - I have nothing against pwp (porn without plot) fic, that's just not what I'm looking for from Yuletide. :) If it is M in the way that doesn't involve sex, that would be okay, but I'd rather stick with a G or T if that jives with your vision.

Also, just because I've given an idea doesn't mean you have to write it! It's just a prompt, feel free to take them or leave them.

(I've never written a Yuletide letter before, so bear with me!)

Tropes I like:

Only one bed - when two people have to share a bed, it's the perfect opportunity for awkwardness, intimacy, and the general sharing of feelings. Good stuff!

Mistaken for a couple - when two people who like each other and aren't sure if the other does, it's fun when someone reads the vibes and makes the assumption.

Modern AUs of fantasy worlds, keeping the magic - there's something that really makes my brain buzz of modern aus of fantasy but they're still elves, or they're still dragons, or they can still cast spells. (Do note that I still love canon fics. Don't feel like you HAVE to write a modern au!)

Noble sacrifices - risking harm or death for someone else

Slice of life - especially if it's slice of life after the story concludes. But I love any and all slice of life.

Tropes I'm not huge on:

Soulmarks - any flavor of this. matching soulmarks, eyes that change color when you see your soulmate, first words on your wrist, etc etc

Modern AUs of fantasy worlds with no magic

Hogwarts/magical school AUs

Next gen fic

Werewolf AUs

DNWs:

please no spiders. I am afraid of spiders! I know some of these canons involve spiders, and I just ask that we avoid depiction of them here.

no explicitly shown/depictions of rape

incest, even in the background

no characters trying to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge

* * *

苍兰诀 | Love Between Fairy and Devil (TV)

Requested characters: Shangque, Jieli

I Love Them. Shangque is my favorite character in the drama in general - the combination of being very good at his job (being a dragon General, protecting the Moon Supreme) + good heart + some romance-related ineptitude makes for just a fantastic character, in my opinion. I know the fandom likes to call him a himbo, and he has his clueless moments, but the juxtaposition of the competence plus cluelessness is something I find fun. And he's sweet. :)

Jieli is such a fantastic counterpart to him - she's got a heart of gold, but circumstances have forced her to put up walls all around it. She's constantly lying, constantly trying to work behind the scenes to get herself ahead. And yet she does care -- she thinks it would be easier if she had no friends and cared for nobody, but the fact remains that she does care. Together, they make my brain go brr!

Ideas: Seeing them working together to accomplish a goal would be fun, or forcing Jieli to actually speak about her feelings. (Shangque confessing his feelings and forcing her to confront that would be fun too!) An angst-y fic set during the time they're apart late in the show is an idea. Another idea could be a fic set during the years Xiao Lanhua/Xiyun is waiting for Dongfang Qingcang to be reborn. How do they progress their relationship? I'm also down for other characters to be included in this fic, as long as the focus is on the two of them.

Pellinor - Alison Croggon

Requested characters: Maerad of Pellinor

The Books of Pellinor were my biggest book love growing up. The sense of vastness in the story, the wonderful characters, the lavish and evocative prose. Even when I reread it as an adult, it still holds up, in my opinion.

Maerad is the heart of the books. I love the journey she goes through, physically and emotionally. I love the real opening up and growth of her character. She feels like a real person, who is irrevocably changed by the end of the series. Yet though she goes through much, she never gives in completely to despair, and ends the series laughing and content. It's such a cathartic arc.

Ideas: I would love some epilogue fic for her, especially if it involves another character. Cadvan is a big one, but I would also love Hem, Silvia, Saliman, even Hekibel! (Especially Hekibel - I loved the frank conversation Maerad and Hekibel had in The Singing, and wished we'd had more of that. I felt like it was so refreshing to see Maerad interact with another woman, especially one who wasn't a Bard and had that very very human perspective.) Maerad/Cadvan is a ship I adore, so if you want to write that, I'd love that.

Ever - Gail Carson Levine

Requested characters: Kezi, Olus

I feel like this book is a dark horse when it comes to Gail Carson Levine's work. When I first read it as a tween, I honestly didn't care for it, but now as an adult, it really compels me. It feels like that quote that's "the gods have not been kind to us, but we rise to meet the stars anyway." I like the hope in the face of hopelessness about it.

Ideas: I'll admit that it's been a while since I've read this, so I'm really open for anything. I do think something that would be cool would be to switch POVs of certain scenes. I know the book does that to an extent, but it would be cool to take it even further, switching between the two characters or even to an outsider POV.

Wars of the Roses RPF

Requested characters: Marguerite d'Anjou | Margaret of Anjou (Wars of the Roses)

The Wars of the Roses is currently my historical fixation, and especially so its queens. I recently read Helen Maurer's excellent biography of Margaret of Anjou, and something that really struck me was how hard Margaret was working to both preserve the role of the English Queen and keep the monarchy intact while her husband was incapacitated. Because the Queen was always expected to be acting on her husband's behalf, she couldn't really... both take charge and yet be acting under supposed direction. But she still grabbed that challenge with both hands and really rose to the occasion, in my opinion, even to the point of taking on the war-laden parts of English Kingship. England had had warrior-queens before (Æthelflæd, Lady of the Mercians and Empress Matilda come to mind on first thought,) but this was incredibly late in the medieval period, and England had never been used to queens taking on this martial of an aspect before, in my opinion. I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her. She took an awful situation and really threw herself into making it work.

Ideas: She's somewhat enigmatic simply by virtue of the historical record being so far distant, but we do have a fair few of her letters, and one can get an idea of a very smart politically, a bit forceful woman. I'd love to explore the emotional side of her, perhaps during the periods when Henry VI was ill and she had to ensure both his, hers, and Prince Edward's safety. Another idea would be to explore her interactions with Anne Neville, simply because Anne Neville is another one of my historical blorbos and I would love that. Or Elizabeth Woodville! (Another blorbo. xD) Or delving into her relationship with Henry! Basically, I would really love something that put the focus on her emotional state and/or her relationships with others.

The Lord of the Rings Online

Requested characters: Candaith

LOTRO is my biggest most delightful discovery for the past few years. Best Lord of the Rings game, hands-down. It takes what's wonderful about the books and really runs with it -- I love the overarching theme of how people want to help each other, and generally they will try to do so as best as they can. And it's just so fun! Best adaptation of the Lord of the Rings, frankly.

And Candaith 😭 I love him. I love the tragedy of him, and I love the hope of him. The vision of him at the Fords never fails to make me cry. I feel like he's the first Ranger the player character really gets to know - there's other rangers in Bree-land, but it's always felt to me like I'm just running errands for them when we meet them first, and not actually getting to know them. (At first! I love Saeradan later, especially. But at first, I didn't really feel like we were friends.)

Ideas: How did he get the Weathertop posting? How did he interact with the others in the Lone Lands? How did he feel about his fellow Rangers, and did he have any special relationships with any of them? Did he ever get lonely for them? Was he ever at Annúminas, and how did he feel about it? Did he really think the restoration of the King was going to happen in his lifetime? Alternately: definitely not opposed to a fix-it of the whole Ring of Bebarahir situation.

* * *

Thank you so much! Happy Yuletide! I know I'll love the fic, so don't stress too much, and remember that you don't have to follow any of the prompts if they don't speak to you. :) Have fun writing! Thank you again!

#if you're doing yuletide: please don't read this unless you get matched with me!#if you're not: you CAN read it but i will feel a little embarassed about it. :P #yuletide letter

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damedamedame · 4 years

Note

hihi! can I request hc's of teru, akane, and hanako's s/o being such a simp for them? Like giving them small sweet notes, and all those cute stuff. And it continues even after they were dating alr 🥺🥺

VARIOUS X READER - REQUEST

- “You’re a Simp? Understandable, have a good day.”

NOTES: WRITING SIMPS ARE SURPRISINGLY HARD???

TERU MINAMOTO X READER

...

Who isn’t though--

You were known to be one of the biggest simps for Teru Minamoto, Prince and Student Council President of Kamome Gakuen.

I mean, like everyone else but like

h u g e s i m p e n e r g y

like myself

You would always greet him every single morning with a ‘Good Morning, Minamoto!’ and with a ‘See you tomorrow, Minamoto!’ once you see him leave.

Everyone knew you wouldn’t stop, even Teru himself.

Which was good.

Because he

may or may not be

simping for you too—

mY HE A RT WE NT B RR BRR 💕

Listen, he saw you as a boss-type fangirl at first because of all the love notes you leave on his desk, the little presents that were left on the table in the Council Room which he would have to ask Akane about and just,, you in general.

He didn’t actually mind at all !! the chocolate-chip cookies you put on his desk one morning could even rival Kou’s.

Mhm yes the cookies won him over—

wai where was i

oH YES

THEN he realized that he was starting to like you simping for him,, A LOT ACTUALLY—

He couldn’t bear the thought of you doing these sort of things to someone else,,

Then,, ended up falling for the little things about you hard--

When you arrived to say ‘Good Morning, Minamoto!’ to him in the entrance, guess who pulled you aside to personally say

‘I.. really am starting to like you, (L/N), can we.. go out?’

Yes, it was Teru and your mind still locks this precious memory away in the back of your head.

And no, the simping did not stop after you started dating him.

Not at all.

You gave him kisses and hugs every time you saw him, which he would gladly return.

Especially if he was having a rough day and just needed your comfort.

He thinks you’re cute when you rush over to him and give him the biggest hug when he enters the classroom.

Everyone still can’t f uc king believe you got him, but here you were, receiving a little kiss on the forehead with your arms wrapped around him.

“You’re so cute, (Y/N).”

AKANE AOI X READER

lil heads up that this was supposed to be really angsty but then chapter 71 happened and i CANNOT HURT THIS BOY ANY LONGER—

You?? You’re simping on the biggest simp?? oH MY GO--

A VV CONFUSED AF BOY

WHY ARE YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, SIMPING FOR THE AOI SIMP????

Akane feels a little, or ve r y, awkward at first because?? um?? w h y ????

Even he knows he’s a big simp for Aoi, so why are you simping for him ??

As I said, vv confused.

Eventually, after having to deal with the many presents (how do you even have energy for this) and the amount of flirts you give him, he gets used to it :’))

An F in the chat for (Y/N) !!

Because he !!

*drumroll noises*

bRushEs yOu oFf 👁👄👁

Look, he has one goal and one goal only and it is all for Aoi—

You might have to give up on this one, even if it h ur t.

Perhaps you’ll do him a favor and start befriending Aoi to help Akane, even if it really really hurts to do so.

Unrealistic as fuck, I know, but deal with me rn :’3

When he sees you befriending Aoi, he is 99% sure you’re stealing her away from him for revenge.

May have brought a bat whenever he sees you, just sayin—

Although

He hears you both talking and

“You know, Akane is actually really good boyfriend material ! Maybe give him a chance, yes??”

Are—

Are you being his wingman???

For some reason, his simp has turned into his matchmaker and he just. doesn’t know what to feel.

‘Thank you?? But?? Aren’t you supposed to be simping for me?? Why are you helping—‘

You interrupted his thoughts with a cheeky grin on your face,

“I hope get you with her, Aoi :’>”

Don’t ask Akane why he’s frustrated with this outcome or you will get hit on the head with a bat.

You guys becomes friends after a while of suffering in confusion from him and after many many explanations that you just wanted to help him haha brr

And after a few months of banter

Let’s just say

There’s gonna be

A simp reversal

Because he definitely did not just notice the beautiful twinkle in your eyes, the way your smile makes his face flush all too suddenly, or how you just astound him in the most unexpected way.

“I... might have a problem, Ao-chan.”

“Akane, just give them a chance already.”

HANAKO - KUN X READER

What?? Where are all these gifts outside his stall suddenly coming from??

Much like Akane, poor ghost boy is also vv confused. When he finally catches the imposter heh, he’s shocked to see someone he thought he’d never see in,, forever.

You two were actually really good friends when you both were alive before !!

Hanako remembers you vividly.

You were always there to cheer him up whenever he came up with a new bruise.

Always sending him little love notes in class when you had nothing else to do.

Late night chats as you both walked each other home.

He always thought you were beautiful, but dangerous.

Falling in love with his old best friend was something he didn’t want, especially since ruining your friendship with him was not part of the plan.

WHY DOES HE NOT SEE HOW MUCH YOU SIMPED FOR HIM????

LIKE SM CONFUSION???

EVERYONE LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE DATING—

Little did you know that Hanako did see that but was vv unsure because ✨insecurities✨

Anyways

You were back in his life now, as a ‘student’ who was def not a ghost. Nope. Not at all.

Everyone thought you were weird because you just?? kept visiting that particular stall?? and always left a hella lot of presents and notes??

Hanako tries to keep an eye on you without you knowing but then you really went and said

“I know you’re there, Amane~”

oSHIT—

He didn’t realize how much he missed the way you said his name.

“H-Hey, (Y/N)..”

CH R IS T HE SOUNDS SO AWKWARD WHY WHWYWHWHWGWH.

You, because you love him too much and finally managed to find him after many boring years of waiting around, did not miss this chance to tell him that HEY YES I LIKED YOU FOR LIKE 50 YEARS.

Let me just say that

Hanako was a blushing mess. yes that is all.

He accepts your confession because you practically barged in his mind when you both first met and you just. never left—

When Nene comes in the next day, she goes 😳 because ‘I-Is that (L/N) and Hanako? WAI WHY ARE THEY KISSING—‘

Definitely makes sure that you never meet Tsukasa again, even though the younger Yugi twin pretty much loved you too :’D

After classes, you always made sure to spend all your time with Hanako without fail, being the huge simp you are.

Don’t worry, he is too ;))

“How did you even find me, (Y/N)?”

“Did you really think you could get rid of me that easily, Amane?”

END NOTES: sorry akane’s is so shit omg also um this was not at all proof-read so uH I’M SORRY FOR BEING A DISAPPOINTMENT :(((((

#toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk x reader #teru minamoto x reader #akane aoi x reader #hanako x reader

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dootdootwriting · 3 years

Note

i have followed the primogem here✨✨🤲🤲

primos pls— /j

on a seriouser note (if thats appropriate), i hope you're doing well!!! i am Here With a request of a tsundere reader or like reader 'who is normally seen as cold but tends to soften once you get to know them' hcs with zhongli and childe (separately) hc? 👀 and whoever you'd like to add!

im not sure if this is considered specific traits (?)— and if it is, and if you don't do specific traits, it's alright!! either ways i hope you'll have a fantastic day/night 😌

YEA also me too anon... *looks at my 124 primos and 0 fates*... my pity is over 50 now so maybe the game will decide i deserve One (1) five star soon...

also i added kaeya because imagining him with someone like this makes my brain go brr he would be So annoying but also very endearing yk. Man after writing his now i am Sad. kaeya my beloved you deserve so much more ;x;

...

Format: Headcanons Characters: Zhongli, Childe, Kaeya (separate) Pronouns used: none but i call you bro during kaeya’s bit Type: fluff Warnings: like one mild swear

ZHONGLI

- when he first meets you he sees how you present on the outside and decides to respect your boundaries and give you your space

- he’s very good at reading people and also a very patient person, so when he finds someone he’d like to get to know better, he pursues the most sensible path: make sure they’re comfortable with him first

- since externally you’re so cold, he assumes you just like your space, so he takes his time to let you warm up to him

- he’s also pleasantly surprised when you come out of your shell!

- it’s a nice reveal for him; you must trust him and enjoy his presence, so you’re softer and more open with him

- it makes him feel proud :)

- of himself and also of you! he’s managed to get to know you fully and you’ve managed to open up to someone (and he’s so glad it’s him too man’s smitten)

- he learns that his original “diagnosis” was correct when he sees how you act around other people you don’t knoW (cold, like you were to him at first)

- he’s so happy and feels so lucky like “this person chose me to be close to”

CHILDE

- polar opposite of zhongli. does everything in his power to break down your cold exterior As Fast As Possible

- man it gets annoying sometimes

- but this guy’s on a mission. he’s got his mind made up. and when he puts his mind to something NOTHING can stop him, not even the walls of ice you’ve worked so hard to build up towards strangers

- it’s actually kind of cute how persistent he is. he really cares about you now and genuinely wants to know you

- at first it was a challenge against himself to see if he could thaw your mask of ice but now... he’s gone too deep. he‘s invested in your life and in you and actually, he like you a lot

- it’s around the time he realizes this that you warm up to him and are softer around him

- i think he deadass forgot this was his goal. he‘s just too happy that you actually seem to enjoy him

- will tease you about it though

- “oh? you want a kiss now? i thought you were all mean and scary though... WAIT NO COME BACK I DIDN’T MEAN IT I’LL GIVE YOU KISSES”

- save this man

KAEYA

- another relentless one but this time! he just flirts with you! good luck bro!

- he flirts with everyone but when people shun him like you do it becomes a competition. who can cave first? again: good luck bro

- he’s also got his flirty mask though, so... he’s one to talk

- you actually gradually discard your masks at the same time. and then somehow he’s his genuine self around you and you don’t act so cold to him all the time

- you become someone he can trust and vice versa, and he really really values that and then SOMEHOW you guys are tight friends and THEN you start dating

- sometimes you wake up and he’s next to you because there was a storm and he spent the night and you look at him and you’re like. man what how did this even happen

- he sees you act cold to strangers and looks at YOU and is like. man what i am so happy How did this even happy

- you no longer need luck <3

#Genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #Zhongli x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #kaeya x reader #gi Zhongli #zhongli hcs #gi childe #gi tartaglia #childe hcs #gi kaeya #kaeya hcs #gn! Reader

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xenoblademisadventures · 3 years

Text

Also here's a dump of other sketches with my thoughts process. Long post, so everything’s under the cut.

The Mythra:

I really liked my first idea so I stuck with it. My thought process was I wanted to emphasize that she's mecha anime and therefore out of place (she already has a mech). Pants are a reference to Alvis's illegal shoes. She’s wearing a crop top because Mythra reads as the type of person who would enjoy wearing a crop top to me. She has giant gauntlet things on her arms because they look cool. I gave her two giant braids because anime (and I’ve noticed a trend of tsundere characters often having two strands of hair going outwards for some reason? And I figured “might as well copy+pasta lol). Her left eye is partially covered by hair, which is supposed to represent her feeling distant or partially isolated from the rest of the world. It’s also a character design trend sometimes used in villain characters, which I thought would fit Mythra since she’s worried about her power being used for evil in 2 and is being constantly compared to Malos in Torna. I kept the choker from the base design because it looks cool and also relates to how she’s constantly constraining herself.

I also wanted to make her buff because she’s a warrior who wields a giant fucking sword, she should be buff (like, the fight scenes involving her in Torna DLC looked a bit awkward because Mythra was swinging a giant sword around one-handed like it was nothing while also having very shrimpy arms).

Overall, I wanted Mythra to feel very alien and distant to the rest of the world. If I were to continue iterating on this, I’d probably look at some of Elma’s armor (mim and alien) for reference because doing that would allow for Mythra to look disconnected from the Xenoblade 2 cast but still feel like a Xenoblade character.

Side note: I assumed that the Aegis shape Core Crystal was a requirement. If I had the option to remove it, I probably would. It doesn’t look bad, but if the goal was to connect the Aegises with the Monado, I don’t like that Alvis’s key had to be retconned for that to function.

The Pyras:

A consistent theme here between the designs was the pants. I wanted Alvis's illegal pants to be a running theme among the Aegises because they are stupid and illegal and I like them. They also look like the most vaguely scifi part of his actual outfit, so I figured giving them a shared article of clothing would be a nice way to visually connect the five character designs (Pyra, Mythra, Pneuma, Alvis, and Malos), and I wanted to keep the vaguely mecha theme going. You can see in Pyra 6 that I was tired and just drew Pyra in Alvis's attire.

I wanted Pyra to look like a mecha design covered up by something that more closely fits the aesthetic used in Xenoblade 1. So not quite mecha, not quite 1. The idea was that Pyra was trying to look more like a common person in order to appear less threatening. If she despises and fears her power, I don’t think she’d want to wear an outfit that embraces it. Putting her in more casual clothing would also contrast with Mythra and better communicate that Mythra is significantly stronger than Pyra. But all that said, putting her in full casual clothing might undercut the emotion Rex and Pyra’s first meeting was meant to invoke (of being like “oh wow, a legendary ancient weapon). And designing her to still look mecha would still be saying that “even though Pyra doesn’t want to be the Aegis, she is still the Aegis and cannot escape her power.” Which is why quite a few designs lean into the mecha aesthetic. The exact balance between mecha and casual clothing was the main thing I struggled with on this design. The final design is the one that more or less struck the balance I was hoping for.

A few of the designs are vaguely sexualized. Specifically Pyras 1, 4, and 7 all have tiny boob windows. If I were to finalize 7, I’d remove the boob window because it looks a bit awkward and I think a belt (similar to Elma’s underboob belt) would look better, but my thought process there was “do I want Pyra to be comfortable?” I don’t want to go over the top with the revealing clothing, but making Pyra wear slightly revealing clothing that she probably wouldn’t want to be wearing could help drive the point that she’s a combination of all the traits Mythra was criticized for lacking. It’s not pleasant or comfortable letting others dictate your entire existence through repeated harassment and Pyra already very heavily acts like the sexist ideas of what a woman should be, so giving her a tiny boob window could help emphasize that point. The main reason I’m saying I’d change it if I iterated on 7 is because I don’t think it compliments the design particularly well.

Another thing that stuck between each version of Pyra’s design was that her left eye is completely covered by hair. I did this for a few reasons: it would follow up on the symbolism of Mythra’s design partially covering her left eye, it would give Pyra a slight air of mystery, and it would faintly reference Alvis’s design (I want the designs to hint at each other but I don’t want it to be super obvious). The earrings were also kept between designs because they were in Mythra’s design and I wanted that to get carried over because it’s a little bit extra cohesion between the two designs.

I wanted was to use Pyra's hair to help represented Mythra binding herself. Mythra has two braids that are loosely flowing, so she's already semi bound. If I were to start drawing Pneuma, I think I'd want her hair to not be tied at all (maybe a similar style to KOS-MOS and Elly as a reference, maybe not?) or I'd just put her in really long dreadlocks or something because hair go brr. One idea I had was to just have one big braided ponytail, but another idea was to try and tie the hair up (which is what I was going for in Pyra 2). I couldn't find a way to do that in a way I particularly liked, so single big ponytail is the way I went.

You can probably see that there were a lot of ideas thrown at a wall here, so I’ll go over some noteworthy facets of each designs.

Pyra 1 had a key on her chest, it was meant to be reference to Alvis. It didn’t stay in other designs because the reference felt too obvious. The first two designs also had a giant X on her chest, it was meant to look like the outfit was binding her, but I don’t particularly care for it. Pyra 2′s pants had weird patterns on them because I was trying to visually make them look a bit distinguished from Mythra’s while still keeping the same idea, but I don’t really care for them. I also don’t like how Pyra 2 is just wearing a T Shirt. I’m not really sure what I was going for with Pyra 3. She kind of looks like Glimmer in the She-Ra reboot, which wasn’t intentional. Pyra 4 leans more into the mecha than any other Pyra. She kind of looks like a ballerina but not really. I was focusing mostly on making her look a lot like Mythra, but I feel that this design has a lot of similar issues to what I have with Pyra’s actual design where it’s sexy and looks cool, but doesn’t really fit the character. Pyra 5 looks like a heroforge character (or maybe like something that fit Mass Effect’s aesthetic if I’m being generous?). I feel that this one also doesn’t fit her character particularly well. Pyra 6 was a bit of an overcorrection and I ended up just drawing Pyra in Alvis’s outfit. And Pyra 7 is the one I actually went with.

Rexes:

Rex 1 was more of a warm-up than anything. I put him in a vest and some pants. The hookshot and x marking were things I completely forgot about until last minute, which is why they look tacked on. He has a belt with some items in it. I wanted to give him scraffly hair and freckles to better emphasize that he’s just some kid. I don’t really like this design. I feel like if I polished it up, it would still have a lot of the benefits to base Rex while not getting as many people complaining about his pants, but the design is overall a huge “meh.”

With Rex 2, I decided to actually look up what scuba gear looks like. This design ended up emphasizing primarily that Rex has a lot of expertise in salvaging and that he’s a kid with humble origins. His strap on was based on a scuba outfit, same with the shoes. He’s also wearing pull-ups with giant pockets. I felt those imply humble origins because pull-ups get associated with rural settings. The giant pockets imply that he works with machinery. That’s also why his hair’s tied back. If you long hair and you work with machinery, that’s supposed to be tied back so that it doesn’t get caught in anything. I also gave him glasses because we need more characters with glasses.

The character’s meant to be 15 and I feel that this looks closer to 15 than 12. If I were to make future iterations of this design, I’d try to lean more into making him look 15 because he doesn’t look 15 enough to me. I’d do this by giving him acne.

He has gloves because he’ll be using a sword and it’s generally not good to scrape up your palm while using one of those. His hook-shot also now takes up his entire arm because that’s heavy equipment. I haven’t figured out how the wire is supposed to be stored without having it fuck up his arm. But the hook itself is now in a little hook cubby. I think I’d want to make the bottom of the shoes look heavier than they are since they don’t currently look great for walking around the bottom of the ocean.

Still, I’m very happy with this Rex. I mostly draw anime girls, so I’m happy with the number of things I feel I’ve gotten right with Rex 2.

Nims and a Dahlia:

I’m a bit unsure of what I want from the Blade designs. I decided to design around their element, their rough personalities, them needing a core crystal, and their element. I also want them to look like they could also exist in the same universe and maybe not look very human? That was, at least, my thought process when drawing Nim, though that thought process was not consistently held, like, at all. A lot of my Blade redesigns don’t look very good because I didn’t have a very good idea towards what I should even be aiming for. The Blades have very generic personalities and overall feel so disconnected from the world that I’d probably just scrap every existing Blade in their entirety and replace them different characters who are better established. Like, maybe because this Blade was born from the Gormott Titan, they look like Gormotti or part giraff as a result and are more likely to have the earth element? And how many hands they’ve been through and the personalities of their previous drivers stack up to subtly influence their appearance? Like, a Blade from Gormott that ended up in Uraya for 10 lifetimes might be an earth-type cat-person with fins or something? Or maybe the more developed a Blade is, the less it resembles a human? But doing that would require writing a lot more lore per individual Blade than is actually provided. But just having something to better frame the Blades as something other than “random (mostly) anime girls that you pick up along the way” would be necessary to give them good designs.

Anyways, with Nim, I figured giving her a Saytr like appearance would be good. She has a strong association with animals and nature, which, for me, translates to “naked.” Alongside that, I looked up Nymphs and they’re also usually depicted as naked women. I also completely disregarded to the two foxes on her shoulders. They were put into Nim 1 as an afterthought.

Nim 1 is the only Nim that isn’t plus-sized because I figured “why not have some different body types among the blades?” A lot of my redesigns for Pyra and Mythra try to keep their body type more or less in tact less because I think it’s the best body type for them and more to spite the idea that them having big boobs is the reason that they’re oversexualized. Like, they are comically big, but they’re only sexualized because of how much attention the camera and design draws to them. But, that’s a side tangent. I made Nim overweight because I like drawing overweight women. Nim 1 gets the vibes of “naked lady” while Nim 2 has the vibes of “big fluffy friend” while Nim 3 is somewhat of a compromise. If I were to make a final design for her out of these, I’d definitely try and fuse some aspects of Nims 2 and 3.

Nim 3 has vines on her arms because Nymphs get depicted with vines quite a bit. The main reason Nim 2 is wearing a sun dress is because I stepped back and thought “wait, maybe some people would have an issue with a naked anime lady running around.” Nim 2 also has a transition between furry legs and no fur legs.

I didn’t really have any ideas for Dahlia. I saw someone draw a version of Dahlia based off Elsa from Frozen and I thought that might be fun to draw. I don’t really have any further thoughts on this.

Praxises:

This is sort of where I was at the point where I realized that if I wanted to redesign the blades, I’d need to figure out some unifying theme for them all. I was thinking “maybe blades could try and visually represent different aspects of being human?” This idea was only really used on Praxis and wasn’t very strongly represented. I was kind of tired when I drew Praxis 1 and Praxis 2 was a bit of a warm-up sketch.

Neither of these designs are particularly good. I wanted Praxis to be wearing those 90s bubbly arm and leg warmers because she has a bubbly personality and is a water type. I don’t know why Praxis 2 is a cowgirl.

Zenobias:

Zenobia 1 is based a bit a wrestler because she has wrestler vibes. I see her as the type of person who would do Dark Souls no armor run on the dance pad. My other thought process was “let me google the word ‘zenobia’ and see what crops up” and I saw something about a Syrian empress but I decided to do zero research, so I have no idea if what I drew was offensive towards muslims. She has a scarf tho because wind.

Zenobia 2 is based on a picture of that empress lady. I don’t think it follows her character in-game particularly well though.

Two (Blade) Nias:

Neither Nia is particularly finished. The main requirements were that this Nia has to look like a Blade, a catgirl, and like something were she’d be able to hide the Blade parts, but not comfortably. I’m at a bit of a loss here. I think the formal wear used in her base-game design is not the way to go. The outfit just doesn’t feel like it matches her brash and snarky personality, like, at all. The first outfit was trying to throw random ideas but nothing was coming up and that’s what happened with the other. Though, Nia 2 gets bonus points for looking like a cats 2019 character. I was sketching out what parts of her body should be covered, but I don’t think I’d want to go with crop-top and skirt because Mythra already has a crop top. The tail is also debatable since I figured if I kept that, how Nia hides the tail could be a fun part of her driver outfit. I also didn’t really like how Driver Nia and Blade Nia have different hair and ear lengths. It bothered me more here than with the original Pyra/Mythra designs because Nia isn’t the Aegis, I don’t think she should be allowed to material and dematerialize her clothing, hair, and ears like that. I do kind of like the idea of giving her paws since those are things that can be easily hidden by shoes. Giving her spotted skin isn’t a bad idea but it’s not as high on the “keep” scale as the paws are (which aren’t super high in the first place).

Overall, it’s probably a bit anticlimactic to end on some lame designs, but that’s how it goes, I guess. If I were to redesign more of the Blades (or finish the Blade redesigns I started), I’d need to figure out what running themes I want from the Blade designs. I think maybe focusing on the human designs first and working from there could be a way to go. Unsure.

#xenoblade chronicles 2 #character redesign #pyra #mythra #rex #praxis #zenobia #nia #nim #dahlia #xenoblade spoilers #xenoblade 2 spoilers

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pcttrailsidereader · 3 years

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Attitude and Layers (Part 2)

Editor’s Note: For those of you reading this post prior to reading Part 1, posted on November 19th, I encourage you read them in order. It is a story well told. I can almost feel the cold, the joy, the relief. This is a re-post of a story from 2012.

By Natalie ‘Dances with Lizards’ Fisher

44 miles to go. Wake up to fog. White on white. Takes us most of the day to go four miles. Pulling out the GPS often. Having to trust technology. Crossing meadows or open areas with no sign of a trail. The usual dip is covered by a drift. When it gets too slick and steep, we know we’re above it. We don’t like to descend because gaining any elevation is such hard work. Maps, compass, check the GPS, look for blazes, look for the line through the mist.

We get to a low point where the trail hits a jeep road. 2 miles to Hart’s Pass. The next section of trail looks just as, if not more, steep and sketchy as what we just came through. We take the road. One of the only times I actually opt for road rather than trail. Even though it’s easier, walking a road has never been fun, and is still not fun.

38 miles out. Hart’s Pass. Our last exit point. My biggest mental struggle. Getting this far today was brutal. If there had been a warm car, with warm people in it, I don’t think I would’ve had the fortitude to continue. As luck would have it, there is just a bleak campsite. Ranger cabin boarded up for the winter. An outhouse and a couple picnic tables all covered in snow.

Not much discussion. Make a hot drink. Cook some food. All Brr has to say is: ‘If we don’t continue, I’ll regret it.”

Final push. This is our moment.

We continue.

34 miles out. On top of another snow covered mountain. I open up the tent in the morning (for the difficult process of putting trash bags on my feet so I can struggle outside into the cold to pee) and the first words out of my mouth are ‘Oh my God.’

‘What is it?’

‘Look outside!’ The world is stunning. Bright sun. Blue sky. In a small tent on the mountaintops. Surrounded by stoic snow covered ridges and peaks. This is why we’re still out here.

22 miles out. We actually made 12 miles today! There’s a celebration. I have to do a mental shift from “we’ll get as far as we can” to “we’re going to make it!” I can finally let myself believe that I’ll get there.

Canada is now our nearest out.

We are going to make it.

16 miles out. 6 miles today.

I worked for every inch of these six miles. All day and most of the night. For six miles.

Up to Rock Pass, down the other side, up to Woody Pass. We keep switching who breaks trail throughout the day.

We took a break at what we thought was the last switchback up. False summit. Got dark. Fog rolled in again. Took a turn down a wrong trail that was unsigned. We knew we were on a trail. We could see the line. The going was easy, but the ridge was on the wrong side. Kept waiting for a switchback to turn us the right way. GPS again. Turn around.

Wind whipping up. Can’t tell if it’s snowing more or just blowing everything around. Finally at the top of the real pass. Round the corner. Ridge is on the right side. Snow drifts are deep. Postholing up to knees or hips with snowshoes on. Brr’s foot has a bruise from the snowshoes. He switches to spikes and we keep rolling.

Work for every step.

Send a prayer to Mother Nature. Please give us a break.

The wind dies.

No more ice blowing in my eyes. I can see the line of the trail. We slowly follow it across huge drifts. Exhausted. Getting frustrated with everything. Stop for a break, but don’t want to deal with the wind chill, so we don’t cook, and just keep moving.

Finally to the top of Lakeview Ridge. Above 7,000 ft. Everything is downhill from here. But I can’t go on. We cook and try to see if we can get some more energy. But we’re done for the night. We’re supposed to get out tomorrow. We’ve already pushed the rendezvous back one day. But 16 miles might be impossible.

Must sleep. Hope that tomorrow is a better day.

14 miles out. We hit the valley. Took all morning to traverse the ridge, descend the Devil’s Staircase and get down to Hopkins Pass.

We can do this. It’s just 6 more miles to the border. Make spam burritos one last time (my favorite trail food: spam, Idaho potato mix, corn chowder, and cheez-its!), out of tortillas for this one. Ready to go. The snow is light on this stretch of trail, but I keep the snowshoes on to keep from slipping.

3.5 miles to the border. Castle Pass. The world is black and white today. Cloud covered sky, trees so dark green they look black. Snow covered world. A raven flies overhead. We take that as a good omen. We’re flying today. Nothing can stop us now. The only question is if we can get to the border with a little daylight left?

November 18. 5:30 pm. PCT mile 2660. We hit the border. [Almost 8 years to the day ago.]

This monument that I’ve been waiting to see for seven months is right before me.

Not a dream anymore.

I’ve had this image in my head of arriving at the monument. What I would do. What my end picture might be like. How we imagine it, is never how it turns out. It turns out the way it was going to happen all along.

It turns out better than I imagine.

Dark. Victory yells. Running and jumping around like crazy. Disbelief.

I pop open a bottle of champagne that I’ve carried for 80 miles. I can now admit to carrying it. (Otherwise that would have been a bottle quietly drunk in a corner). After all that long journey, I absolutely brought a bottle of champagne along for the last lap.

One more hiker mocha with the last of our coffee and instant breakfast mix. Sitting staring at the monument. This is really the end.

We got each other to the end.

Everything is going to happen fast after this.

8 miles to get out. We have people waiting for us. And we don’t want to camp in the broken tent on cold snow another night.

It starts to snow giant flakes.

Haul it.

8 miles to let it settle in that we’re getting out. That we’ve actually accomplished the goal. That I have to go do something other than walk now.

8 miles to laugh about all the moments. Favorite, worst, most epic, hardest, weirdest, most random.

4 miles out. We just made it up one more pass. To the end it is not easy. Mother Nature never lets it be easy.

Just a little further to our waiting family.

11:30 pm. Manning Park.

Anticipation as we arrive at the road. Then the parking lot. Then the resort. Door is locked. A security guard pulls up right as we’re taking off our packs. ’They were just looking for you. Weren’t sure if you were gonna make it out tonight.’

This is it.

In to warmth. In to waiting arms. In to a shower and a bed.

In to whatever happens next.

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appleb0mb · 4 years

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Hyacinthus Art Process! (Part Two)

Continuation of Art Process Below!

Yes, I’m still a little annoyed about it here me out

No, wait - continue the post-

Step Five: Shading

THERE’S THE OVERBLOT-

I started this one around the same day, October 22nd, 2020 -12:13 PM

This time I added darker colors such as black and dark brown to give that f o r m

As usual, I prefer this over the final product! I don’t know why-

Anyways for the following here’s what I used:

Robes - I used a light red or pink (same applies to the fingernails and the Hyacinths), + black to darken some of the areas

Skin- Dark brown and a tiny pink

Hair - Dark brown and black

Veil - Black

White stuff on his arm - Orange + hints of blue

Upper Body - Light, light blue

Thingy holding his hair - Orange + hints of pink

Neck - Dark yellow + bits of orange

Neck - Diamond - Dark blue!

Neck - Pearls (Blue stuff on neck) - Dark green (unsure, but hecka likely)

Thing on his Head - Orange + Light, light blue

Hyacinths - Red-purple...? (Unsure)

Chest - Orange + Blue + Red (blue and red particularly on the patterns)

Jewelry - Used bits of orange and light, light pink

Note: I made sure that I didn’t darken it too much so it would lose its color and keep your eyes on that p r i z e.

Step Six & Seven: Final Background + Dark Red Lineart+ Highlights

HEHEHEHEHEHEH (October 22nd, 2020 - 1:51 PM)

Unlike the past albums, I would try to highlight the characters in the album but then I asked myself,

“Shouldn’t Overblots be different? Such as...mysterious?”

And that’s when I started to derive my whole goal (I actually didn’t have a full idea now that I think about it) and made the whole art piece go down the drain.

I still love it as much as much as Lupine (in terms of music) and Mystique (in terms of art), but I think the background and highlights really brought the piece down altogether.

Back to the subject - Unlike my other albums where I used multiple pieces of lineart to make it look static, I used a full solid layer of red, blue and three layers of black to give this result of a darkened layer.

Plus, I only used one layer (so 1 copy of the lineart) in a dark red in the exact same position as the original lineart, and just made it slightly noticeable for you guys to see (in this case, you can’t).

As for the highlights, I used two of the black layers to highlight the jewelry and his skin, so that it can be seen and embellish the painting above.

Step Eight: Darker Effect + Title -> Final Piece!

Oh yeah I added a darker effect cause I want it to be super ominous-

No seriously! For Step Seven I felt like it was a little too revealing for an Overblot, so I made it darker to add the ominousness and mystery of Overblots! Also I needed to put the title somewhere-

Meanwhile, I’m really happy that I went out of my comfort zone for this album, and especially how Jamil looks here (kind of).

Though, just because it’s out of my comfort zone doesn’t mean I can’t do any better.

I’ll definitely strive to do different types of stuff for the Overblots. So yeah!

After this album, I’ll likely do a character design sheet of Scarabia, and finish requests in my inbox! There’s more stuff coming up, so please - stay tuned and continue along this weird thing of an AU.

Completion of Album Cover: October 22nd, 2020 - 2:44 PM

Time Taken: 2 days

Release of Album: October 23rd, 2020

Anyhow...

Thank you for supporting the fan-made music (and art) of Twisted Wonderland x Date A Live!

Don’t mind me I’m just giving off happy brr vibes

Curious? Hyacinthus [ Art Process - Part One ] here!

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uhhblogname · 2 years

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I posted 1,365 times in 2021

96 posts created (7%)

1269 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.2 posts.

I added 52 tags in 2021

#some weird overly long organizational tag bec the search function is shit. webbed site. - 26 posts

#✨mentol helth✨ - 6 posts

#workout for later - 3 posts

#haha depression go brr - 3 posts

#soup my beloved - 3 posts

#i want to commit chandelier cosplay 😀 - 3 posts

#me and my friend suzy sidalurges - 2 posts

#/j - 2 posts

#/lh - 2 posts

#/hj - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i love setting myself goals that are relatively far away and not that hard to reach because i never learned how to deal with disappointment

My Top Posts in 2021

pulling my bandaid of yesterday's cvts so they'll reopen and bleed again instead of cvtting again

6 notes • Posted 2021-10-22 11:41:20 GMT

9 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 17:01:50 GMT

making my own post because don't want to derail the other one but self deprecating comments about your own weight are always kind of iffy at best

and even if you're making that kind of comment exclusively around people who are thinner than you at best you just made things really awkward because now they feel obligated to reassure you that you're not fat or that "you're beautiful, don't put yourself down"

like i'm not saying that people should never talk about their weight (that would make me the biggest fucking hypocrite) but maybe consider actually talking about how you feel instead of making self deprecating comments

ie: "i feel unattractive because of my size"

"i'm afraid people will judge me based on my weight"

instead of "omg i'm so ugly and fat kill me 😭"

if you can't do that maybe consider keeping those kinds of thoughts to yourself or make a vent blog or start journaling or smth

negative comments about weight always contribute to harmful beauty standards, regardless of who makes them

9 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 08:19:03 GMT

can't believe it's monday again

i don't want to do this anymore

58 notes • Posted 2021-11-22 06:57:58 GMT

when you have a Moment of Clarity™ and realize what you're doing to yourself

421 notes • Posted 2021-11-15 00:45:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#what the fuck even are my tags #weirdo #the fact that i made 96 posts and i've only had this blog since september says something about me i think

0 notes

mentalmars · 3 years

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Tiny Tina's Wonderlands Dev Diary #1

Welcome to the Wonderlands Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands creative director Matt Cox knows a thing or two about channeling Tina’sunbridled energy into the creation and razzle-dazzling of this most whimsical realm. “I think there’s aTina in all of us,” says Matt. “At the very heart of our teams, we’re all creatives—so we don’t want to have a leash on that says ‘This is a real-world scenario, so you can only do real-world things.’ It’s such a gift for creatives to be able to not have that tether. It’s not very hard to create for Tina, because the crazy chaos that we all love to dream up exists in all of us—she’s the perfect representative of pure design chaos.” Welcome one and all to the first in a series of Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands Dev Diary articles, giving you a peek behind the Bunkermaster’s screen so you can get to know the developers who are bringing Tina’sunpredictable adventure to life. Matt’s here to walk us through some of the most fundamental elements of Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands, so strap in and get ready for a crash course in how all this chaotic fantasy came to be. Your adventuring party awaits If the fantasy trappings, abundant dragons, and occasional giant dice throws weren’t a dead giveaway, Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands is heavily inspired by the tabletop games that many of us enjoy playing with friends and family. There’s something enduringly magical about envisioning heroic deeds, fearsome foes, and dastardly villains with a table of allies by your side, all imagined via the guiding hand of a master storyteller. As your humble Bunkermaster, Tina is in control of your adventure through the Wonderlands—but you’ll be hearing plenty from Valentine and Frette, your pals around the table. And of course, the more the merrier where multiplayer is concerned, whether your crew of up to four adventurers prefers cooperation of coopetition (in which loot drops are shared, and often stolen, amongst players). “One of the best things about tabletop games, in general, is playing with your friends,” notes Matt. “We definitely want to create that sensation in Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands, and I think a lot of that has to come through with the table character dialogue and the performances of those characters. We have to feel like they bring a back-and-forth dynamic that really adds to the experience. So from the highest level possible, before you get into any of the big, gamey-game stuff—that’s a technical term—you need to develop that social dynamic at the table.” The tabletop trappings are reinforced right from the get-go, as Tina enthusiastically encourages you to create a character sheet for the Fatemaker, a fully customizable hero of your personal design destined to fight for her royal majesty queen Butt Stallion. It’s not all about looks, either: you’ll have to choose your class, like the sly Stabbomanceror the frost-wielding Brr-Zerker, and decide how to spend your hero Points to pump up stats for survivability, adept spellcasting, and more. “We wanted to make sure that those options were plentiful enough and had the ring of what it feels like to create your own character, with the allocation of Hero Points and the multiclassing later on in the campaign,” says Matt.”Being able to express yourself in the game was a giant goal that I think is another big inspiration from tabletop games.” An overview of the Overworld Early on in your shoot-and-loot adventure, you’ll encounter another unmistakable nod to tabletop gaming: the overworld, which gives you a third-person, bird’s-eye-view of your character as they sprint around Tina’s meticulously crafted game board (pay no mind to the haphazard popcorn kernels and that river of soda dribbling out of a tipped-over can). Here, the Fatemaker’s heroic proportions are shrunken down to be adorably bite-sized, not unlike a painted miniature running amok in a tabletop realm. “We went through a variety of iterations on the ideas of what that Overworld aesthetic was going to be,” says Matt.”We even thought about making everyone look like figures on bases that moved with aback-and-forth waddling animation. But I think we landed on this idea of an exaggerated, scale-agnostic version of the Wonderlands, and it was important that players who put a lot of effort into their facial customizations and really tailor what their look is to be able to see that.” And thus, the chibi look of the Fatemaker in the Overworld came into focus. “Since the camera is so far back, we thought ‘Let’s give them the bobblehead look; let’s just blow up their head!’” laughs Matt.”And when we did that, we realized ‘This looks like a really cool bobblehead-type figure, but it also still animates beautifully.’ Once we did the head-scaling to be so big, and with all the other scaling of how the environment looks, with all of the tabletop real-world stuff that’s just on there because Tina didn’t clean up her board, we really loved the synergy that everything created.” The Overworld is yours to explore Once you’ve gotten used to the sight of your Fatemaker’s big ol’ noggin in the Overworld, you can start poking around the many nooks and crannies of the game board. Some discoveries might be minor—a quick dungeon encounter here, a smattering of gold-filled chests there—but you could end up stumbling onto an entirely optional area that some adventurers might miss altogether. These aren’t just flash-in-the-pan diversions, either: optional regions like the Tangledrift and the Sunfang Oasisare expansive environments complete with their own multi-part questlines. “We treat these huge maps like standalone modules from a tabletop game that feel different from the main quest,” Matt explains. Braving these areas and completing their meaty side quests can help power you up before you take on the more difficult trials that await. You may also encounter some collectibles in the Overworld tucked away in hidden corners, like Lucky Dice that increase your luck stat, helping you get item drops of better rarity. There are also Shrine pieces to collect that unlock passive boons when you’ve found all the needed pieces, and Poetry Pages scattered across the land that offers a bit more lore (read to you by the local bard in Brighthoof) for those seeking to map out the Wonderlands in their entirety. Knocking over bottle caps that litter the game board will create handy shortcuts that can reduce Overworld travel time if you ever need to backtrack. Of course, exploring off the beaten path to find these optional areas is not without its perils. When trekking through stretches of tall grass or dense foliage, an enemy might pop out and charge at you, triggering a first-person shootout when they make contact. But if you’re not in the mood for a fight right at that moment, you can simply punch them into oblivion and continue on your merry way. “The player will always have agency on whether or not to engage with these random encounters; very seldom will it actually disrupt you,” says Matt. “You’re going to be fast enough to run away, or you can actually melee in the Overworld; you can melee the random encounter enemy before they touch you and they’ll just explode, and you don’t drop into the random encounter. “But at the same time, we want the random encounters to be meaningful,” he continues. “We want random encounters to make the player think ‘Oh, I have an opportunity to go get this type of loot!’ So we want random encounters to feel like a loot chest experience; the Christmas present or birthday present sensation of ‘Ah, what a nice surprise!’ From a design perspective, we’re really trying to make random encounters something that the player wants to do rather than run away from. We’ve done a lot of work to eliminate that feeling of random encounters being a distraction.” Oh, oh, oh, it’s magic Alongside your ever-growing collection of trusty guns, shooting off spells is crucial to maximizing your damage output in Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands, with most spells having short cooldowns that let you fire magic from your fingertips frequently. Some spells will make short work of enemies, roasting them with fire or sending them flying with a mini-tornado; others offer more utility, like giving you and your allies a bit of protection or reduced cooldowns. “The team has done a fantastic job of having fun first, especially with the spells,” says Matt. “I think that’s a hallmark of how we do things in our games, and particularly with Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands — it’s about having fun first before you start addressing the balance. That doesn’t mean balance isn’t important, but I think players will have the most fun if we put it at the forefront. The things that are super out there will probably become Legendary spells. It’s a matter of getting all those crazy ideas out there first and then finding the right place for them in the rarity balance.” Wondering which spells Matt prefers to fling on the battlefield? “I love using companion classes, which go great with some of the different hydra spells that let you put little tiny hydras on the ground—their spewing attacks are so adorable and vicious. Having a pet class plus a bunch of hydras active via spells is pretty fun,” he says. Slice, dice, stab, and slam Melee combat completes the combat trifecta of Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands, as you’re able to keep a dedicated melee weapon constantly equipped in addition to your guns and spell loadout. It’s not likely to take precedence over the guns in your right hand and the powerful spells in your left, but weaving a few close-up strikes into the flow of your firefights can go a long way. “It’s very important for us that the pace of our style of the shooter remains,” says Matt. “And our style of shooters is very offense-focused; it’s very forward-focused. It was important that our melee combat didn’t use a lot of defensive parrying mechanics; there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not the style of play that fits the pace of combat we want. We also didn’t want melee to replace shooting or upstage spells, because guns and spells are the two main modes of damaging enemies.” Instead of treating melee weapons—whether swords, axes, giant mallets, or more—as primary methods of attacking, smacking nearby enemies (like a bony member of the Skeleton Army) will stagger them to give you a bit of breathing room. You can keep tapping the melee button for a continuous series of swings if you’re getting swarmed, and trying to melee an enemy that would otherwise be just out of reach will make you leap forward into a little glide-attack that closes the distance, which can be a crucial tactic for repositioning during an intense fight. “We wanted to make sure that melee was very accessible; it’s still a one-button mechanic, but it has layers to it,” explains Matt. As you collect and equip progressively better melee weapons, you’ll also notice some impactful modifiers that synergize with shooting and spellcasting. “For instance, a successful strike might reduce Action Skill cooldown or spell cooldown, or it can return ammo,” Matt continues. “So if you’re multiclassing and dialing in your Hero Points and your passives into spells and melee, maybe you’re going to start choosing melee gear that returns spell cooldown to really optimize those relationships. For us, melee is still that secondary, offhand thing, but compared to our previous games, we want you to use melee more than you might’ve before.” You’ll have a chance to perfect your mix of guns, spells, and melee in combat when Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands launches on March 25, 2022. Until then, keep your eyes peeled for more Dev Diary articles and updates here on the site!

Continue reading on https://mentalmars.com/game-news/tiny-tinas-wonderlands-dev-diary-1/

#Tiny Tina's Wonderlands News #Tiny Tina&039;s Wonderlands Interview

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indialawguide · 3 years

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THE INTERPLAY BETWEEN CSR & ESG NORMS: WHAT INDIA INC. AND INVESTORS NEEDS TO FOCUS ON

Across the world, there is a growing demand on corporations to focus on sustainable development goals and strengthen the social responsibility of business. Working in sync with each other, while Governments are taking initiatives to bring legislative changes, investors also have started to value and consider such factors as key parameters for making an impact with their investment. The investors (such as private equity funds, venture capital funds, social venture funds, banks, financial institutions) are looking towards going a step further to not just focus on monetary returns but also achieve positive social and environmental governance impact. The impact of COVID-19 has already created ripples in the society to switch focus on various social goals.

Against this backdrop, the framework in India has progressed significantly with increased accountability for directors, key personnel and more disclosures relating to businesses. A series of efforts have been taken by the Indian Government, one of which requires spend of 2% of average net profits by India Inc. (certain eligible companies) towards corporate social responsibility (CSR) activities in eligible areas such as eradicating hunger, poverty and malnutrition, promoting health care, education, gender equality, including environmental sustainability. The move to introduce CSR regime went beyond philanthropic activities to create a systematic model to create impact in society. The CSR objective of the Government works in sync with the Government’s focus on expansion of disclosures on environment, social and governance (ESG) reporting by Indian listed companies. In fact, a company’s reporting of performance on sustainability related factors has become as vital as reporting on financial and operational performance.

Given the above context, this article analyses the interplay between the CSR and ESG regimes in India and how the corporations and investors would be impacted by these measures.

Corporate Legal Services

Development of social responsibility of businesses: CSR model changed from “comply or explain”, to “comply or penalty”

The first milestone in the evolution of identifying social responsibility of businesses was release of the Corporate Governance Voluntary Guidelines in 2009 by the Indian Ministry of Corporate Affairs (MCA), to encourage corporates to voluntarily achieve high standards of corporate governance. This was followed by the release of the National Voluntary Guidelines on Social, Environmental and Economic Responsibilities of Business (NVGs) in 2011, which were subsequently used by the securities markets regulator in India, Securities and Exchange Board of India (SEBI) to frame the Business Responsibility Reports in 2012 and top 100 listed companies by market capitalization were mandated to file such reports. Later, in 2015 the mandatory reporting was extended by SEBI to top 500 listed companies by market capitalization.

With the enactment of the Indian Companies Act, 2013 (CA2013), the concept of CSR spending achieved legal recognition and apart from Section 135 of CA2013 which deals with the requirement, conditions and compliances for CSR spending, Section 166 of CA2013 also emphasized on the obligation of each director to act in good faith in order to promote the objects of the company for the benefit of its members as a whole, and in the best interests of not only the company, its employees, shareholders, but also the community and for the protection of environment. In 2019, MCA revised the NVGs and formulated the National Guidelines on Responsible Business Conduct, which lays down nine principles of business responsibility.

Section 135 of CA2013 and its rules were recently amended on January 22, 2021, to provide that spending CSR amount will be mandatory and mere statement of a reason for not spending the required amount on CSR activities will not suffice. However, keeping in view that not all CSR activities are likely to be completed in the same year of its commencement, any unspent CSR amount for the financial year has been classified into two buckets, one relating to ongoing projects and another relating to non-ongoing projects. In either case, there is a sunset period within which the unspent CSR amount for each financial year is to be transferred to the specified Government fund or unspent CSR account opened by the company.

To further encourage CSR spending, the amount spent in excess of the CSR obligation of 2% (two percent) of the average net profits of the company can now be utilized to set-off against the CSR obligation of 3 (three) subsequent financial years. To further ensure that CSR amounts are spent in the manner intended under the CA2013 and the rules framed thereunder, the new revised rules require the Chief Financial Officer of the company to certify that the CSR funds have been disbursed and utilized in the manner as approved by the board. Even the annual disclosure report has undergone changes and now more detailed information about the CSR projects, allocation of CSR funds, unspent amount, excess spending, carry forward, etc, are required to be reported.

ESG reporting: Impact investing

Varied set of investors are looking to invest in assets which have ESG integrated or sustainable investing model. Their intent is not to just make profits but make impact on social and environment fields. The increased focus of stakeholders seeking corporations to be responsible and sustainable towards ESG goals have witnessed Governments actioning various legislative changes.

In the Indian context, SEBI recently on May 5, 2021, replaced BRR reporting with the Business Responsibility and Sustainability Report (BRSR) which imbibes the ESG principles. To begin with, BRSR has been made applicable to the top 1,000 listed entities (by market capitalization calculated as on 31st day of March of every financial year), for reporting on a voluntary basis for financial year 2021 –22 and thereafter on a mandatory basis from financial year 2022 –23. SEBI has prescribed a detailed format and guidance note for BRSR and requires listed entities to disclose on their performance against the following nine (9) principles of the ‘National Guidelines on Responsible Business Conduct’ (NGBRCs). The reporting under each principle is divided into essential and leadership indicators. The essential indicators are required to be reported on a mandatory basis while the reporting of leadership indicators is on a voluntary basis.

Principles of ESG Reporting

Some of the key disclosures under the new BRSR and ESG include disclosures relating to environment, waste generation and management, employees/ workers employed including benefits given to them, occupational and health safety management systems implemented, safety related incidents, process used to identify work-related hazards, measures taken to ensure safe and healthy work place, consumer complaints, product labelling and recall, CSR, details of fines/ penalties paid in proceedings with regulators, etc.

A systematic disclosure on BRSR will help the stakeholders assess and mitigate the ESG risks, and at the same time, also require the companies to put system in place to ensure that ESG reporting is true and correct as many investors will base their investment considering ESG as a key factor.

Way forward for corporate India and investors

Now that the interplay between CSR and ESG norms has been established, the revised CSR norms and ESG reporting are likely to help stakeholders in understanding the compliance by companies of the laws relating to ESG. While the benefits of CSR and ESG reporting are immense, at the same time, corporates need to be careful of what they disclose and ensure that the disclosures are in line with the current legal requirements relating to labour, environmental law, consumer law, etc. The interplay between ESG and CSR will also act as potential tools to engage into meaningful conversations with the stakeholders and create value. While in the beginning, ESG and CSR have been made applicable to certain limited corporations, however, with its results and impact, its reach may well be expanded to other entities as well.

ESG may be in its nascent stage at the moment, however, with the global economies’ focus shifting to sustainable development, reducing carbon footprint, fulfilling beneficial social and environmental goals, it will make investors closely assess ESG and CSR factors in identifying their potential investments to have an impact investment. The diligence exercises carried out by investors will indeed have dedicated focus on ESG norms. It is important therefore, for corporations and stakeholders to carefully assess the disclosures and compliances with ESG and CSR norms, in consultations with their advisors, including legal and financial.

*Co-authored by Manendra Singh, Associate Partner and Tanvi Goyal, Principal Associate of Economic Laws PracticeC

#Corporate Legal Services #Consultant For Banking Legal Advice #Legal Services For Dispute Resolution

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tech-battery · 4 years

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s-o-n-de-r · 6 years

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Years in transit: Against the Current in Boston and a reflection on music, moods, and seasons

Note: Rarely, I opt to publish personal pieces in place of sonder’s traditional editorial content. With this, however, I wanted to revisit a show I already wrote about in an expansive retrospective that deals with music journalism and auto-biographical elements. Thanks for reading - Andrew

If you’re a regular sonder reader, you probably noticed something out-of-place last November when, out of the blue, I published features from a show in Boston that pop-rock band Against the Current played. Boston? Weird, considering sonder is based in south Florida, and that’s where the majority of the site’s content comes from. Right?

Actually, despite being sun-soaked for the past 17 years, I have northern blood running in me. Massachusetts is my home; roots I can’t ignore. I grew up in a small town called Grafton, toward the center of the state. Grafton is the epitome of small town, pacified New England: Quiet, wooded, outskirt suburbia rolls over a few creeks bridged by old stone masonry to our town center, a picturesque square with a gazebo, new stores in old buildings, and one of the local churches.

The Grafton part of my life feels like a long time ago. It mostly just exists as dust and cobwebs filling rarely-explored corners in my memories. Scattered in those cobwebs are pieces of small town New England in the 1990s, a decade that already feels hauntingly distant, lost in the blurry whirlwind of time. My childhood home was a two-story house on a massive corner lot with a hill in the backyard. All that space and gradient land meant I got to have fun as a kid. When it was autumn, I’d sprawl across a pile of crunchy brown and orange leaves I had assembled from the side yard. When it was winter, I’d get to rocket down the back slope on a sled or build up little forts with the huge snow banks that would accrue. During summer, the air was so clear and refreshing. The family would go to Swirls and Scoops, the local ice cream place, or Art Bradish Snack Bar, the local cheap and tasty dinner indulgence. They still make the crispiest chicken sandwich I’ve ever had.

Summer was always so pleasant and mild, with rich greens cascading across lawns. There was a huge tree at the corner of our property, surrounded by a half-circle of piled stones (who knew who put these here?), and that was prime territory for hanging out with my friends. All these little details kind of tumble around in my head when I think of Grafton. I relish them. Chances are, you have your own set of memories like these, and once in a while you might come upon them and bathe in their familiarity and warmth. Because that’s what nostalgia does – it comforts you, no matter if it’s accurate.

“It's been a minute

Everything's the same, but different”

Against the Current, “One More Weekend” / a song about re-visiting things and people in your past and tapping the well of nostalgia

After being transplanted from the north to the south in the middle of my childhood, I rolled with the punches (”the punches” being Florida). When you move from a place like Grafton – or, as I imagine, nearly any town defined by rich, varied culture – to the endless sprawl of southwest Florida, it’s a stark change of scenery. If Grafton was authenticity, then southwest Florida was shtick. In Grafton, we celebrate colonial history. In Fort Myers, we celebrate developing condos.

The mental weight of these differences on me never really showed up until my trips back to my home town in recent years when I realized, almost all at once, how much I missed it. Of course, that’s unsurprising. I was nine when we moved, and as a kid, you’re generally not acutely aware of how huge life changes like that can affect you on a deeper level. I was just sad that I had to leave my small number of friends.

But, I realized later the old cliché of “home is where the heart is” screamed in my face. Cliché, as it turns out, is overused for a reason. Who would have thought? I didn’t realize until my young adult years that, while I have many pleasant memories of New England, I had next to no similar memories in Fort Myers. In Fort Myers, no matter how hard I tried, nothing felt as close and tight-knit as things did in Grafton. Most of my good memories in Florida are, rightfully, from concerts I’ve been to or photographed.

Despite the build-up, there isn’t some overly dramatic point to be made here. Florida is where sonder has been built. It’s where I run into people at shows who recognize me and chat with me. It’s where I’ve met all my peers in concert photography. It’s where you, my readers, have said you like what we do. It’s where everything happens for this site. There’s a couple blocks in downtown Orlando, stretching from The Social to Backbooth, where sonder has basically been nurtured. I could recite half the restaurants and bars in that area and probably identify which brick goes where. It’s where I’ve photographed and interviewed bands for years.

That’s a general rule of thumb, anyway. Sometimes, when I get bad wanderlust, I end up far away. The most extreme example of this was when I was traipsing around the east coast for 13 total dates of Vans Warped Tour 2012. Going to many Warped Tour shows during the same year means you get to explore the detail in what that tour does, and it was in Connecticut when I met up with a young band named Against the Current. They weren’t playing. They were just hanging out. And it was during their early days: They were still a five-piece and only had one song (“Thinking”) and a cover out under their own name (both released the same day). I met them all, but spent most of my time talking to singer Chrissy Costanza before leaving, knowing that, at the very least, it would be a long while before I saw them again. The debut song was good. Good enough to get a footing, anyway, although in retrospect, you can really tell how the band has progressed. But this is the case for pretty much any new band, isn’t it?

Despite those glitches in the Matrix, Florida is mostly where sonder operates. But Florida could never come close to the feeling I feel from Grafton, or from Massachusetts in general. I have a love for the whole region. The northeast. New England. Etc. Amazingly, though, I had never really been to the seat of what makes New England, New England: Boston.

I wanted to change that last summer when I was spending a lengthy amount of time in Massachusetts on vacation (and, incidentally, feeling intimately re-connected to my home). So, being the day tripper I often am, I got a ride to the local MBTA station (our commuter rail, referred to as “The T”) and took a train to the coastal metropolis for the day. I watched my home roll by me in a blur as I explored Paramore’s self-titled album, and now, whenever I hear the positive chords of “Daydreaming,” I think of that trip. Cheerfully apt. And now, cherished.

It was one of those pleasant New England summer days, right in the dead of tourist season, so there was a lot going on. I ate, had a beer in the oldest tavern in America, visited the Holocaust memorial, and took lots of photos, as I often do. I didn’t seek much out. Instead, I let the atmosphere come to me instead – a mark of the fly-on-the-wall behavior in me that’s part nature, part journalistic nurture. My goal for that day was to get to know the place, even just a little. It was just a day, though, and I didn’t think I’d be returning for a long time.

I went back to Florida. Summer ended, but before I knew it, a family emergency had brought me back up in mid-November – the first time I was returning during fall since I was a little kid. The first shock I had was at 5:30 a.m. in the parking lot of a hotel in Delaware. It was 32 degrees outside, I had my tank top on from the previous day (because it was around 85 when we left Florida), and I was dying just to get into the car and hit the seat warmer button. Brr. I blame Florida for thinning my blood. I always blame Florida. Smooth.

See, part of the chaos in my head that Florida has nurtured is inability to cope with non-sunny weather. Even in Florida, I’m the type of person who will be in the dumps all day if I wake up and it’s raining. I’m embarrassingly sensitive to this stuff. And it’s because I’ve lived most of my life in a place that, for the most part, just shines.

So you can see potential problems about returning to Massachusetts during the tail end of fall. Which, don’t get me wrong, I was enthusiastic to see. It had been 17 years since I had seen a proper autumn, with leaves falling off of the trees and forests turning into splotches of brown and orange. We were going up toward the end of the season, so the vivid colors were less common, but some of it was still around. And just this change of pace and scenery allowed me to reconnect more with my New England nostalgia, something I desperately wanted. As of late, I feel like I’ve been floating through a perpetual identity crisis, so feeling connected to who I really am was cathartic. And there is some innate soul nourishment in New England autumns, from going to apple orchards to feeling the crisp, cool air to finding a cup of hot chocolate the most relaxing thing at the end of the day.

Rural Massachusetts under the cover of late autumn

Florida is a land of perpetual daytime and perpetual bloom. Even in December, our days are long, hot and super sunny. Now, me and my sensitive little self were heading straight into color-drabbed cold bookended by perpetually-encroaching darkness.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of seasonal affective disorder (the “S.A.D.” acronym is just life smiling down at us), here’s the crash course: It’s a psychological thing where the shorter, darker, colder days of winter basically hit the “on” switch for temporary depression. Now, remember those bits about how Florida doesn’t prepare you for different weather and how sensitive I am?

Yeah. Connect the dots.

The first day we got to Douglas (the rustic town where we were staying, not far from Grafton) after our drive up, I fell asleep at around 10 p.m., which is a record for a recovering night owl. I collapsed straight into a deep, blunt sleep, and when I woke up at around 9:30 a.m. the next day, I barely had any energy. H-E-L-L-O, S.A.D.

This is all a little gloomy and is partly exaggerated for the sake of narrative. But, you know, if I can deal with Florida for 17 years, I can deal with some blues for the week I was there. That week, by the way, happened to criss-cross with the touring schedule of Against the Current, who would play their very first show of their latest headlining tour in no place other than Boston. I didn’t even realize the coincidence until I was already up in Massachusetts, and if I wasn’t catatonic, it probably would have excited me more.

As you know, I first met them in 2012, and here I was four years and some months later, ready to see them headline a tour in support of their first album on a label. A lot happened in those four years – again, I knew I wouldn’t be seeing them for a while after my first meeting, but it was in late 2014 when they finally came down to the sunshine state.

I brought my camera to that show and have since managed to see them at every show in Florida they’ve played – sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident. But always happily. There’s a decent amount of bands who receive repeat coverage on sonder, and generally it’s because I have a sense of admiration for those bands, but Against the Current are a little different. The combination of being there at the beginning (or nearly the beginning), having met and spoken to them enough times, genuinely enjoying their music and keeping up pace with photographing their shows, has instilled a sense of stewardship in me. And they were part of the inaugural class on sonder – sonder had existed in several different forms over the years prior to 2014, but 2014 is when it really coalesced and defined itself. At this point, having photographed them at nearly every Florida show (including a non-show – a standalone meet and greet), plus up in Boston, I feel the part of a documentarian, at least partially, and that compels me to follow them through to wherever they go. When I see the band playing to festival crowds in the U.K., or opening to 20,000 people on One OK Rock’s bill, or surrounded by thousands during a Q&A in the Philippines, I think back to that first meeting and bubble with pride.

With all this in mind, the opportunity to cover them in Boston, on opening night, was something I just didn’t want to miss.

So, on a dreary Thursday, I found myself once again on the T heading to Boston, again watching Massachusetts roll by.

Eastbound to the coast

Getting ready every day of that week was an effort. I woke up each morning in a gray catatonia, and that Thursday was no different. I let the hot water of the shower toast me because it was nice insulation against the encroaching cold outside. I slowly packed my bag because the blues were making me run at about 30 percent efficiency, and I had to zone in on every little thing I was doing to make sure I didn’t run out of energy halfway through. On the way to the Grafton T station, I got a Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, which is basically the state drink of Massachusetts. I sat there, relatively calm, and learned that the train was delayed, which didn’t cause as much anxiety as I thought it would.

Almost instinctively, I reached for Paramore when it arrived and enjoyed the tunes again. But this time, it was cold, bleak, and I had a lot on my mind. The weight of the seasonal depression acted as an emotion inhibitor, stripping away the intense anxiety I typically have before a concert and rendering everything neutral. A few ups. A few downs. But I felt way more level than I normally do. And level is a bizarre state of mind for me, as my mental states usually aren’t restrained; they usually catapult wildly from one spectrum to the other without apology. And feeling level is striking considering my struggle with anxiety and that I had no idea if I would even make the last train home – something that, in previous years, I wouldn’t be able to reconcile and would have shut the whole trip down.

Much of my mental workouts earlier in the week revolved around processing all the bleakness that was swirling around. There was one particular day that I stared out at a dark, rainy Worcester through a crying hospital window and saw all the naked trees and cars sloshing through puddles. I don’t think there was a single time that week that I felt a bounty of energy – even when I drank coffee, it was more like “whatever, this is caffeine.” I’m helplessly in tune with metaphors manifesting themselves in real life – I can probably partly blame all the literature courses I’ve taken in my life, but more likely it’s about the lens of extreme emotionality I experience life through, feelings that I’ve never really been able to properly convey or dial back. So, for example, summer in New England is a time of liveliness, vividness and in my recent case, adventure. But fall is about that life and vigor petering out, settling down. I think about stuff like that religiously, and it’s probably a contributing factor to why I’m susceptible to S.A.D.

Regardless, what eventually poked through that shell of the seasonal depression that day was realizing I was photographing a band I admired on their opening night, in my home state, surrounded by my personal nativity, during an actual change of season.

Everything was different from Florida.

And that is powerful. Even with the S.A.D., I felt things that hadn’t stirred within me for a long time or just not at all. Being in my mid-20s, the fervor of the late teens and early 20s has died, and it’s easy to fall into relative normalcy and consistency. Which is fine, but sometimes you don’t experience things raw as often. On this day, everything was basically flying at me raw: I overdrank on coffee (and could actually feel it), so my bones felt electrified, and when I spend enough time outside in cool weather, it naturally energizes me. I ended up walking all the way from the center of the city to the Cambridge area because I had just downloaded Uber, had no idea how to use it, and couldn’t get it to actually call a ride. So as I walked, my mind raced, and I thought a lot about things in my life that had led up to that moment. I was taking in a part of the city I didn’t make it to last time, so it was new to me, heightening the sense of discovery. And in the back of my head, I prepared for the tone of how I would write about Against the Current for the fifth time and reflected on their youthful exuberance and open pushback against systematic norms, a message preceded by a long line of punk ethos – even if Against the Current’s musical style was glossier than your traditional punk band.

Walking through the city during autumn was different – for one, the scores of tourists were far less pronounced, and it being a Thursday afternoon, it was much quieter than my last venture. During that week, I was on a mission to find at least some vestige of colorful autumn vibrancy, and it hit me out of nowhere. I rounded a corner into a plaza, and suddenly, what I was seeking leapt out at me. No holds barred, either – rich reds, browns and yellows. Even the park grass was vivid. I took in for a few minutes because, in all likeliness, it will probably be many years before I see it again.

And I got a really nice view when crossing the Charles River into Cambridge – these views invigorate me and make me feel like just a small cog in our beautiful world, a feeling I embrace. I like insignificance. It keeps me grounded and objective and nurtures the fly-on-the-wall instinct.

Pretty much every normal circumstance I knew whenever I photographed a concert was replaced with something new, with the slight exception of the band itself. But even then, it was different, as Against the Current were touring in support of their debut LP, In Our Bones, for the first domestic, non-festival headlining tour of the record cycle. I felt a rush of life on my walk there, ironically born underneath the thick shell of temporary depression. For the record, the melancholy really tried to bring me down, but little did it know that I’m too good at discovering meaning in misery.

One thing that helped this night is the whole “addicted to travel” thing – interestingly, I’m the happiest when I’m tired and at the end of a 13-hour drive. That was, by the way, part of my reality when I first met Against the Current those years ago, and it’s why I never balk at long-distance anything. Not that an hour-long train ride is harrowing road travel, but I was pretty far from home and on my own. If something went wrong, I would have been stuck in the city overnight by myself. For the record, going for a day trip on public transportation by myself is something that, years ago, would have stirred up such violent anxiety that I wouldn’t even dare. Anxiety is one of those things that you suffer through that either gets marginally better over time or just bowls you over. More likely, both, at different times, but that’s not really here.

Like I said, it was dreary all day, and the days were short, so it was dark before it made sense to be dark. One of the luxuries of going to shows at 24 is being over 21, so to kill time between sundown and doors opening, I had a few beers. An hour later, I was there in line freezing (because I underdressed and have thin blood, i.e. the “I Blame Florida” thing), but it was then that I realized, “Hey, I’m cold, depressed and a little tired, but I’m somehow still quite happy.” The irony is that a mixed tempo like that is not what culture generally props up. People like to talk about highs and lows, but as if they’re separate, not existing in the same space. Because it’s easier to qualify. But I’m obsessed with the gray that exists between black and white, and the tendency toward exploring subtlety is what drives my passion for this very site. It made sense for me to be both melancholic and happy in that moment – in fact, it made more sense than a lot of other things that go on in my head. By this point, cognizant of what was happening (again, I’m painfully self-aware), I let the feeling steep within me because I knew it would be helpful in a weird way.

The show was a textbook example of a good time. It took place in an almost literal den of comfort, a basement under a bar where the shared body heat of everyone kept the space toasty and insulated from the brisk autumn on the ground level. When I close my eyes and remember that night, I relish in the community of music and how comfortable I felt even though I was there by myself and far from home. I knew no one there except the performers, but I had been “there” before, absorbing the atmosphere and culture that comes with club shows. This is one thing you will never feel at an arena show, even if every single person in that basement room was there with you.

Even better, it was a photographer’s dream – never before have I experienced such helpful and bright front lighting. You could see people’s faces! Amazing!

I fly-on-the-wall’d myself pretty hard, keeping quiet and getting a sense for the venue and eventually just sticking toward the side of the stage for Against the Current’s set and taking photos for the entire hour or so. That photo above, by the way, is one of the very few I have framed to capture both the band and their fans. I like to look at photos like those and scan faces, try to get in the heads of people through their expressions. There’s admiration and excitement. And it’s a reminder of when I was that kid, right up in the front row – music journalism was always a natural segway from me, to transition from being in the crowd to trying to explain why it matters. Because that’s 100 percent something I believe in: That the alternative music and community matters, and that belief is pretty much the foundation for sonder.

More to the point (an interesting choice of phrasing considering we’re thousands of words in), as I discussed in the premiere feature on the night, this was one of the finest times to see Against the Current because In Our Bones really got to breathe. There was also this interesting moment when the band broke out into a cover of “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance and reached backwards in music history to a song off an album that defined a generation. I found myself singing along to this one more than the band’s own songs, not because I’m a massive fan of MCR or not that familiar with Against the Current’s songs, but because the song is that catchy and significant.

Anyway, as the star of the night, they played most of In Our Bones, which is good pacing for the band. I’m a perennial hipster in this regard – in all the years I’ve been watching music, I often yearn for the earlier days of bands’ careers when they get to play most of their catalog. This is because it’s so more likely they’ll explore deep cuts, and anyone that’s a well-versed fan of a band knows the deep cuts are often what give you your sense of relation to the group. For Against the Current, deep cuts mean “Fireproof” (from Gravity), any of their older covers or a song such as “Something You Need” off of Infinity.

This would be one of my favorite live concert shots if the focus wasn’t off ever so slightly. That being said, it’s still a photo I enjoy a lot. I love catching performers lost in what they’re doing, when the true enjoyment really comes out. It’s a rare example of an on-stage shot that captures both the essence of the performance and a sense of intimacy.

Infinity, for the record, is the defining moment for my own experience with Against the Current. Infinity was the product of years of waiting. When the band released “Thinking,” I gave it some coverage and waited for what felt like forever for the band to get an actual record out. Then, oddly, I didn’t even pick it up at first. When I did, it hit me like a blockbuster. Infinity is one of my favorite collection of pop-rock songs in existence – it really shows the cohesion of Against the Current’s individual members. It goes for a big, booming, almost arena-ready sound and hits it out of the park. Will Ferri’s drums are explosive. Dan Gow’s guitar work is crisp, and he has a knack for delicious, spirited hooks and leads. Chrissy is youthful and owns the poppy nature of these songs. Vocoder effects and layered secondary instruments are drizzled into these songs and give them a shot of depth. These songs reek of penultimate youth and love; in my initial review of it, I said that they would be the perfect choice for a contemporary remake of Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and I still stand behind that. The classic and timeless nostalgia of things such as summer break and young love are embedded into Chrissy’s intonation and lyrics. And the duo of Dan and her aren’t just cohesive – they positively feed and flow from each other; the two detonate together, guitar leads blasting to uppity choruses that she soars into. I listen to and cover many bands for sonder, and it’s only once in a blue moon that you find debut records cut so skillfully, even rarer that they’re instant classics. Part of the magic was also the cooks in the kitchen: Zack Odom and Kenneth Mount, who are responsible for some of the most timeless pop-punk records ever (Mayday Parade’s A Lesson In Romantics, Cartel’s Chroma, All Time Low’s Put Up Or Shut Up), were the production brains for this record. Infinity was an awakening for me, a collection of songs that lit a fire in me, something not too common in my music consumption as of late.

Some years ago, I had a Nissan Altima (my first car) that my brother and I installed a sound system in. It had an amp and a sub that really kicked, and it was around the time when Infinity first came out. I would drive around town and crank it almost to the max, relishing in the explosive tones, bass, and energy in these songs. Just five songs, but I had the album nearly on repeat. It was a pleasant getaway to peter around town taking in these songs that felt eternally vibrant.

Back to the show: Even as it was happening, that nagging feeling of woe that had been wafting inside my head for the week kept at it, regardless of stubborn pockets of resisting happiness. In what’s perhaps a desired curse, such melancholy intensifies my fly-on-the-wall instinct. Sort of like this: Oh, wow. Look at everyone enjoying themselves. That would be nice. But I know I couldn’t fully immerse myself in that feeling, so I’ll just document it.

Actually, regardless of hilariously inept mental state, I generally purposely distance myself from being in the middle of fandom because it helps sharpen my editorial eye and maintain subject/journalist separation. But I love seeing others experience fandom. Of course I enjoy concerts. But I also flirt with classic objectivity, so I try to observe more than engage. At the same time, considering the long history I have of observing Against the Current, it’s hard to not feel some sort of wistfulness, to root for them. I find this to be a fundamental paradox in music journalism, kind of in the vein of the observer effect in science: By covering a band, you naturally draw closer to them. After all, when music comes across my desk to review or cover or take photos of, something about it needs to be an experience I enjoy or, at the very least, is something I can convince myself others will enjoy. But it’s so much easier to do good music journalism when you care about what you’re covering, least of all because the closer you get, the more intimately you know the music and will be able to talk about it better.

This conundrum reflects part of the core experience of music – the fact that, at base level, it is an emotional experience, and the more you cover a particular band, the harder it is to divorce yourself from that emotion. Covering a press conference is fairly straightforward. Covering music is wading waist-deep in the emotion of the moment and trying to come out without feeling heartbroken, happy, enthused, motivated, or any of the very emotions the musicians are trying to convey. How is that a sensible process? I mean, I just spent a whole paragraph raving about the band’s debut album. How would I have reviewed that music without getting in the weeds and not getting grass shavings on my socks? I’m not saying it’s impossible or that it’s even hard to take a step back from an emotional experience with music in order to write objectively, but I think there’s room for thoughtful, impactful music journalism that is both informative and emotive.

If you haven’t realized it, the concept of internal conflict is wreaking havoc throughout this piece. Happy v. sad. Past v. present. Childhood v. adulthood. Objectivity v. emotion. But, like I said earlier, it isn’t actually stark, distinctively separate differences that define our experiences. It’s often the nuanced in-between that makes actual sense. We yearn for the distinct, so it is often hard to confront the gray area that’s actually behind most things. This is, at its core, one of the uplifting thing about music – it has this ability to override things and dunk you into environments, sort of like the memory triggers I talked about in the beginning of this piece. Theoretically, anyway. Have you ever had a really bad day, but masked the negativity by reminding yourself there’s a show you’re going to see soon? That thought is merely a root. Dig it up, and it leads to so much more. This is part of the magic of music. It’s a reverberation of some of the psychological phenomena that defines the human experience, and most of the time, this effect can be in full blast, and we don’t even realize it. Music reaches so deeply into the human experience in an animalistic way. It floods into you. Remember: I can listen to “Daydreaming” and somehow, in my mind, be transported back to that train to Boston, even though I’m physically in my room thousands of miles away. I’m sure you have a song like this. And chances are, if you listen to a song you heard a lot growing up, you’ll feel traces of a memory from your childhood. This is why it seems so difficult and nonsensical to strive after true objectivity in non-hard news music journalism, and this is also why people who make the effort to be actively negative about bands seem pretty dull.

Part of the mission of sonder has been to bring the inward reflection that has made this piece (and all of music) possible to your brains in a percolated way, to try to unravel the machinations of why bands make you feel certain ways. As far as Against the Current goes, despite writing about them half a dozen times, I still haven’t fully grasped what it means to hear them. I’m confident I can bring a piece of them to you every time I write about them, but I’m not sure if that piece is even a fraction as meaningful as what it’s like to be in the room. To be in that Boston basement where the sonic energy is floating around the room, rushing through everyone, making strangers into friends. It’s kind of like that blunt feeling you get after a good movie when the credits roll and you walk out awash in the emotion of what you just saw. It’s non-transferrable, but other people who were there get it.

Probably my best photo of the entire band all in the frame at once. Unfortunately, it’s tough to get everyone in focus when you’re dealing with long focal lengths and the wide apertures used for dark settings, but this is genuine Against the Current.

The discomforting thing about this is that writing about music is impossible. You know how the very notes and structure of instrumentals (let’s not even talk about vocals and lyrics) can make you feel something intense, something that, despite your best efforts, you just can’t relate to another human being? As in, “the tone of this guitar lead makes me remember the feeling of when I was 16 in Ohio in July falling in love” or “this keyboard riff puts me right back in downtown Orlando seeing a friend I haven’t seen in years and laughing at his joke” or whatever other combination of specific emotions you get from music that you can’t relate? Writing about music is like sticking your fingers in your ears and saying “la la la” to that; to boldly be stupid. But I try anyway because it’s so unifying, and because it means something to me, too. Again: Why fully divorce yourself from the emotion?

This story wouldn’t have been as cohesive if even one part of the situation was different – if it wasn’t Against the Current, if it wasn’t Massachusetts, if it wasn’t autumn. Which is a little weird because, on the surface, none of those things seem integral to the narrative, until you acknowledge that these things are all influenced by my emotional interpretation of them, and that this interpretation is part of the same human experience that makes music so intense. The seasonal fluctuation of New England, if you haven’t realized, is the absolute catalyst going on here, not because it has some sort of intellectual significance, but because it goes straight to the core of who I am as a person. It’s something I experienced in my youth, didn’t experience for 17 years, then was suddenly dunked back into. It sounds silly, but I was surrounded by who I am. And then the band was the topping to that because, damn it, I haven’t managed to maintain objectivity about them, and I personally care about them and their career. How couldn’t I? Has this ruined a sense of objectivity? Does this make my words here cheaper?

In March of 2015, the Nissan Altima, with its nice sound system, became a heap of twisted metal after a reckless driver pulled right out in front of me despite having a blind spot. I crawled out of the wreck with, luckily, nothing but a broken clavicle. Later that year, after I was healed up but still didn’t have another car to drive, I posted an article on sonder highlighting bands we wanted to see on Vans Warped Tour 2016. Chrissy randomly replied to it and asked if I was going to be at their upcoming Orlando show. When I responded and told her I had gotten in an accident and wasn’t sure if I could make it, she sent her well wishes and said she hoped to see me there. It was out of the blue, appreciated (during a time when my mood was in the gutter) and one of the things that cemented the bond I feel for the band.

Chances are, you have your own version of Boston or Against the Current, something that means something to you because it intertwines with your history in a meaningful way.

I did not manage to slow down very much for most of that day. The only way I made it back to South Station for the very last train back into Grafton was thanks to leaving the exact second Against the Current finished playing “Gravity” and getting into an Uber, since the app actually decided to cooperate. At that point, I got to see Boston float by at night, gleaming under the rain, and there was this tune that crept into my head – a tune I first became familiar with a few years ago, a tune that I have a deep emotional connection to. It’s a connection that I can’t explain very well, for the reasons I’ve outlined. No – it’s not Against the Current or Paramore or a band from years ago. It’s by a band named Transit (an apt name for this story).

It is “Young New England,” and it has become a part of how I filter and process my past. It’s managed to bring me closer to my home, even when I’m in Florida. It’s a folksy drinking song, but it’s not just that. A few lines repeat through the song:

Oh, Young New England.

Over and over again, Young New England.

New England, in a photo.

When I first got into this song, I played it on repeat like people often do when they find a song they like. But I didn’t get bored. I kept playing it. I was driving home once from a show in West Palm Beach. It was the dead of night, and I was taking the roads through the middle of the state, so I was basically alone on the roads, creeping through Florida’s desolate, sad sugar roadways. And I must have played “Young New England” 10 or 15 times in a row. I have heard those notes so many times, and over time, I attached part of myself to them, part of my youth and love of New England. So now, those feelings are inseparable. Go listen to it. You won’t feel those feelings. You might not even like it. And, that’s part of the struggle of what I do on sonder. I listen to the song when I want to feel at home. It’s a cradle. But you probably won’t get that.

I was exhausted by the time I got back home, but unlike earlier in the week, I had re-gained some motivation and mojo. I was wiped out, but it was underscored by being fueled by doing what I love to do. It helped that I got some of my best photos of the band that night.

I thought hard about how I wanted to end this piece, but there are so many moving parts and tangential discussions that it seems impossible to tie it up. And more to the point, a wishy-washy, up-beat “and here’s why all this matters!” ending would be a disservice to the grayness clouding most of this piece. In a short word, the psychology of nostalgia and memory is fascinating to me, and being as awkwardly self-aware as I am fueled this. This piece began as impulses in my mind maybe three months after the show, but it took me a while to get it down on the page and flesh it out. Even then, though, I had the feeling that that night in Boston had been important to me on a deeper level. Hell, I might have even known that the night of, and it just took a while to uncover it.

If there really is a bigger picture here, it has to do with how and why sonder operates the way it does. After all, Against the Current, the other bands we cover, our Orlando HQ, our home town – these are insignificant details to you, but they’re part of our identity. The theory behind sonder wouldn’t change if you swapped these elements out, but the character would. And that’s, of course, because emotional connection to everyday things affects everything. And I just hope that, even if you don’t identify with mine, you have your own and you never let anyone belittle that or take it away.

Because the things that define you aren’t just things out there in the world – they’re your things, pieces of the world that you turn into a home.

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Article, photos, and excessive self-reflection by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Like this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography publication at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook if you like this!

#against the current #chrissy costanza #dan gow #will ferri #travel #features #novel #long reads

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