#Maybe i should just go to a cat cafe or something idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

niki-phoria · 1 year

Note

AHHHA stop I'm the anon who requested the Niki x male reader with him having a hug crush AND I LOVED IT LIKE IM OVER HERE READING IT BLUSHING AND GIGGLING 😭🤞🏽also YES definitely make a part 2 😔🫶🏽 and it would be more adorable if m/r is like inches smaller then Niki which the members tease about☠️

Again, thanks for writing my request and have a lovely day🧸

my bf (real)

pairing: niki x male!idol!reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff word count: 2.3k (longest fic i've ever written !!)

includes: blushy niki, mainly niki's pov, reader is implied to be shorter than him, supportive enha, brief mention of homophobia

niki's outfit is barely based on this pic

a/n: i'm so glad you liked the first part !! this idea is so cute, i love it sm i've been thinking of making this a series but the only other idea i have rn is them practicing together and reader meeting the rest of enha (maybe a collab stage ?? idk) i hope you like this part too <33

PART 01 / PART 02

requests open !! read my rules first

normally the familiar noise of niki’s phone vibrating on the table beside his bed would be an annoyance - a reminder that it’s finally time to leave the safety and warmth of his bed and do some work for the day. but today his alarm can’t come soon enough.

jungwon and jay are already in the kitchen making breakfast together when he sits up in his bed. he can hear them bickering amongst themselves as he peels off the covers, quick to wash his face and brush his teeth in the mirror. he spends a few extra seconds checking his appearance in the reflection. it’s something he wouldn’t normally do, but it feels needed.

he pushes his bangs back as he makes his way into the living room. sunghoon is sprawled across the couch as jake sits on the loveseat across from it. he nudges sunghoon’s foot out of the way, sitting down next to him. “morning niki,” jake smiles.

“good morning.”

“when’s your date with y/n?”

“later today,” he replies, pulling his phone out to check the time. “in two hours.”

“today?” sunghoon perks up, shifting to look up at the boy. “you don’t look nervous.”

niki raises an eyebrow. “should i be?”

“no, but,” sunghoon moves to sit up fully on the couch. “you’ve liked him for a while. i figured you would be a little anxious about going on your first date.”

“why don’t you help me then? i still need to decide what to wear and how to do my hair.”

“we’d love to help,” jake smiles. “come on.”

“try this on,” sunghoon says, shoving another shirt at him. niki takes it, disappearing back behind the bathroom door momentarily to put it on.

“where are you guys going anyway?” jake asks from his position on jungwon’s bed.

“he’s taking me to a cafe,” niki replies, exiting the bathroom. he tugs at the shirt’s collar in an attempt to ease his nerves. “a cat cafe.”

“so… casual,” sunghoon notes, continuing to rummage through niki’s closet.

“why not just wear a hoodie and some jeans? it’s what you wear all the time anyway.”

“i like that idea,” niki says, tossing another sweater back at sunghoon. “it’s just a cafe date.”

sunghoon sighs as he relents. “at least accessorize with some jewelry.”

“of course.” niki grabs a hoodie out of the pile before tugging it over his head. jake sits up to brush his bangs aside and help him fix his hair.

“try this on.” sunghoon tilts his chin up to wrap a silver necklace around niki’s neck. it sits just above the neckline of the hoodie. it matches the earrings he has in. “keep the earrings too.”

niki stands up, checking himself in the mirror. he pushes his nerves down before they can overwhelm him too much. his oversized hoodie hangs loosely on his frame. he brushes his bangs back again so the strands sit nicely behind his ears. he looks like he usually does. nothing about him specifically looks like he’s about to go on a date. it’s for the better, he assumes.

“it’s 09:45,” jake’s voice interrupts his internal debate.

“i need to get going,” niki frantically searches for his phone, quickly shoving it into his pocket. “thanks for your help!” he calls as he rushes to grab a random pair of shoes. he ties the laces as fast as possible before running out of the dorm.

the clock hanging on the wall reads 10:00 exactly as niki pulls on the door handle to the cafe. a chorus of small meows and purs welcome him as he glances around in search of you. “niki!” you smile, making your way through the swarm of cats over to him. “hi.”

“hi.” he’s sure his cheeks are burning as you take his hand, leading him over to a table.

“i got you a vanilla latte,” you say, pushing the drink towards him. “i hope that’s okay.”

“it’s perfect.”

one of the cats jumps into your lap, curling into a ball against your thighs. you smile, stroking a hand against her fur. even with his poor knowledge of different cat breeds, niki can recognize it as a calico. her face and body are scattered with orange and black patches. she purs against your jeans, nuzzling closer against you.

niki can’t help the small smile that spreads across his face at the sight. the animal looks so content from her position laying against you. he breaks the brief silence when you look up at him. “the cats look so comfortable around you. do you come here often?”

“i use this place as a way to destress; if that makes sense. i don’t have the time to take care of any pets myself so i hang around here with the cats. the coffee helps too,” you chuckle. “i read somewhere that you have a dog. bisco, right?”

niki smiles a little bigger. you know about his dog. “yeah, bisco.”

“i’ve seen a few pictures. he’s cute.”

“not as cute as you.” the words leave niki’s mouth before he realizes what he just said. he all but retracts back into himself from embarrassment before you laugh.

“thank you.”

the hours slowly blend together as you and niki laugh together. your drink goes cold from how long you spend sitting around the cafe talking until you can’t ignore your hunger any longer and finally decide to get lunch. you leave the cats after a long series of pets and promises to return soon. warmth spreads through niki’s chest as one of the cats leans up to rub her face against his hand as you smile at them.

“ramen?” you ask.

“sure.”

your hands brush against each other as you walk through the seoul streets. it’s the middle of a workday but you still pass by a few stray people along the way. niki hesitantly reaches over before you finally take the initiative to take his hand into yours. you look up at him. “is this okay?”

niki squeezes your hand, intertwining your fingers together. “it’s more than okay.”

he can see you smile behind your mask as you continue guiding him through towards the restaurant. it’s exhilarating - holding your hand, making you laugh, being on a date with you. all of his nerves have faded away by now. only a soft, loving warmth remains. it’s an unfamiliar but welcome feeling that only builds the longer you spend together.

his thoughts are interrupted when he all but knocks into your body - again - when you abruptly stop. “sorry,” he whispers. you simply shake your head with a small smile, tugging him into the restaurant.

you throw your head back as you laugh, bringing a hand up to cover your face. niki can feel his own smile growing as he watches you try to calm yourself down. it’s a beautiful sound - one that he’d like to hear more often. despite having heard it through a phone screen countless times it sounds different when you’re sitting in front of him. smiling because of him.

you fall into a comfortable silence together. for a few moments it feels like the world stops. everything around you disappears, fading away into nothingness. your eyes momentarily flick from staring into niki’s down to his lips. they’re tinted an incredibly slight pink; probably the remains from a lip stain applied for a promotional stage.

“niki,” you whisper. the sun is setting around you, casting a gentle golden glow across him. his cheeks feel warm under your gaze.

“can i kiss you?” his voice is quiet - as if he’s worried that saying the words too loud will make you pull away from him forever. his deep brown eyes stare into your own as he patiently awaits your response.

it feels like hours when you nod. niki slowly leans in a little closer to you. he smiles a little, reaching up to rest a hand on your cheek, stroking his thumb against your soft skin before pulling you into a sweet kiss.

suddenly, nothing else matters. you’re no longer two famous idols who have responsibilities to go back to and fans to potentially disappoint. you let yourself forget about all of the homophobia and backlash and hate in the world. you’re just two boys kissing underneath a sunset.

niki’s face is flushed when you finally pull away. your lips are a little pink, matching niki’s. a slight breeze blows past you, rustling your hair. he raises a hand to fix it with a small smile. “can i call you mine?” you whisper.

despite niki’s still-deepening blush, he nods immediately. your smiles grow as you lean in to press another quick peck against his lips.

it’s nearly dusk by the time niki returns to the dorms. he’s still giddy as he enters, slipping off his shoes and making his way into the living room.

jay is the first to notice him, perking up in his seat. “how was the date?”

“he was gone for a while, it must’ve been good,” jungwon says.

“it was.”

sunghoon raises an eyebrow at him. “that’s all? jake-hyung and i spend all morning helping you get ready and all you tell us is that it was good?”

“come on!” sunoo nudges him as he sits down. “we’re curious.”

niki sighs, looking down at his hands. “he knew my coffee order and asked about bisco. he payed for us to get ramen together and spoiled some new parts of his comeback for me. he’s really sweet. he made me laugh all day and…” his voice drops as he plays with his fingers. “i really like him.”

“aw, you’re blushing!” heeseung teases. he reaches over to pat niki’s knee reassuringly with a smile. “i’m glad you two had a nice time together.”

“did you get a good night kiss?”

the blush on niki’s neck deepens at jake’s question. “i did,” he says, faking confidence as he sits upright. “i kissed him this time.”

“cute,” jungwon laughs, playfully pushing his shoulder. “our maknae is growing up!”

“did you make it official?” sunoo asks.

niki can feel his blush deepening, though he doesn’t try to hide his face in fear of making the teasing even worse. “we did.”

“aw!”

“that’s so cute!”

“i can’t believe he’s dating already,” jay dramatically sighs, leaning back against the couch as he places a hand over his heart. “they grow up so fast.”

“when do we get to meet him?” the others pause their teasing at heeseung’s question, waiting for an answer from niki.

“i’ll ask him about it.”

the playful pats and hair ruffles immediately resume after he answers. niki laughs as they debate amongst themselves over your relationship milestones. who will say ‘i love you’ first, planning your first anniversary, more likely to propose, how it’ll happen.

he lets their words mix together in the background as he pulls out his phone, clicking on your contact. he smiles to himself as he changes your profile picture from a random image he found online to one that he took personally. you’re holding the calico cat in your arms as she cuddles into your chest while you look up at him. everything about the picture is perfect. your bright smile, the cute cat, and most of all, the memory safely locked away deep in his mind that returns each time he glances at the image.

he saves your contact, typing out a quick message.

you

i had a great time today :)

y/n <3

me too !!

i can’t wait to see you again

you

my members have been asking about you

they want to meet you sometime

y/n <3

i’d love to meet them

i’ve watched some of the en-o’clock eps and they all look really nice

you

i’m glad

we’re doing promotions at music bank in a few weeks

maybe we can meet up there?

y/n <3

that works perfectly

i can’t wait to meet them

there’s a slight pause before your next message. niki stares at the texting bubble as it disappears before reappearing a few seconds later. he waits as you type and retype the same message over and over, anxious to see his reply.

y/n <3

when can i see you again ?

niki smiles down at his phone. you want to see him again. a second date. the potential for another sweet kiss shared between two equally nervous boys. more memories with you. laughing until tears sting the corners of his eyes and talks that slowly transform into deep conversations.

you

i have some free time in a few days

we can meet up together and practice

i’d love to see more of your dancing

y/n <3

that sounds great !!

i can’t wait :)

“texting him again?” sunghoon asks.

“y/n’s his boyfriend,” jake nudges. “let him text in peace.”

“i was asking if he wants to meet you.” niki locks his phone, setting it down on the couch beside him. “he’ll be doing promotions at music bank in a few weeks. he said we can meet up backstage.”

“that’s a good idea,” jungwon says.

“we’re proud of you,” jake reaches through the sea of limbs to pat niki’s knee once again with a smile. “i know we tease a lot, but we’re all happy for you.”

niki’s own lips curl into a small smile as he nods. “thank you.”

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linawritesocs · 7 months

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Here is my writing for you <3

Aka reasons why I KNOW Lilia x Lina x Rollo is canon frfr

First of all, the vibes and the aesthetics are there. Trust

The :D x :( x :| dynamic is so fun. So so fun

Lilia is scooping you and Rollo up in his arms and giving you both forehead kisses <3

You and Rollo have things in common and I think you'd be able to help each other get through a lot of stuff!

Plus Lilia is there to always support you and he's very understanding!! No judgment from him at all, absolutely 0

Again, LILIA AND ROLLO WOULD FIND YOUR SMILE AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU STUNNING!!! GORGEOUS!!! They wouldn't want to change a single thing about you!

They'd take such good care of you, no cap. Seriously. They'd be absurdly good at it. And they're incredibly careful and ask if you're comfortable :)

Why did they fall for you? Not sure with them but in my head, they saw a failgirl meow meow (affectionate) and went "OMG I LOVE THEMMM" and "...Okay so I love them"

Also that one Halloween drawing you did is like. Stuck in my head permanently. The vampire x witch x priest one.

Ngl I think y'all should have a pet cat. Idk why but it seems right

So the fireworks during masquerade, right? Or whatever they were if they weren't fireworks, I'm not sure jsndkfs

I think Rollo would take you both to a place that's kinda far and the sounds aren't very audible, but the view of the town is great! And you get a clear view of the fireworks so that you don't have to miss how pretty they are!

I'm trying to think of date ideas but I'm kind of blanking rn? I know it'd be something more low-key... OHHH what if cat cafe??? (I feel like I keep mentioning cats but that's literally your and Rollo's energies, I can't just forget cats)

Whenever you're sick, Rollo would definitely take some time away from NBC, like a few hours, so he can see you and make sure you're doing all right! Maybe he brings you some food or medicines he heard is good for you!

I'm sure Lilia does a really good job too, plus he'd make sure you aren't lonely and in low spirits!

Random thought: If Silver is basically the son of Lilia and Lina, what's Rollo's role? I feel like he doesn't dislike Silver, that's all, but if you have thoughts... 👁️👁️

Cottagecore house cottagecore house cottagecore house

Once y'all graduate I can see you having a cottagecore house. Yes just like Seth and Rollo

That's all I have rn but PLEASE RAMBLE IN YOUR RESPONSE IF YOU WANT!!! I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT THEM <333

HSDHDJSJSDJKSJS TARUUUUU THIS IS SO CUTE I'M GONNA CRYYYYYY

and you're right. rollo x lina are just cat x cat. both of them are so cat-coded.

THE IMAGE OF LILIA SCOOPING BOTH ME AND ROLLO UP IS SO FUNNY but it's okay i know he can do it

everything about the vampire x priest x witch au is perfect. lina and lilia already dating and lilia going "hey dude wanna form a polycule". rollo naming one of the bells john and making cole and sebastian worry for his mental health. rollo being So Scared that someone is gonna find out about his relationship with those two but when cole and sebastian do find out they just go "OMG SO YOU DO HAVE BITCHES SLAYYYYY- ahem, we mean. wow.. you're not maidenless.." lina secretly being a catgirl and hiding her cat ears under her witch hat and fully turning into a cat when she's comfortable around rollo. honestly priest!rollo is a very popular au concept especially with a vampire/witch/other "monster" s/o but like. come on. we all know this is the best one /lh

. I GUESS SILVER CAN ALSO BE ROLLO'S SON THOUGH THAT'D BE SO FUNNY IT'S LIKE ".. so. uh. y-you're dating my father." ".. yes" "and you're also dating my mother" "also yes" ".. uh. does that make you-" "i am literally one year older than you" "okay father number two" NO BUT THEY EVEN LOOK KINDA SIMILAR. KNIGHT OF DAWN WHO. i'm actually obsessed with the way how silver actually looks and acts like a mix of them. he can appear very suddenly, scaring others in the process, just like lilia, he's eepy like lina and also tends to blame himself a lot just like them and he looks a lot like rollo and is very serious and responsible, just like him. he is literally their son. i'm gonna sob

here are some of my fav lina x lilia x rollo concepts if you don't mind me sharing!

lilia is 700 years old and he's been through so much and it took a lot of time for him to change and become the gremlin that he is today. lina is MUCH younger than him, but she also had to go through a lot of horrors. lilia never says that their trauma isn't valid and never says stuff like "well at least you didn't have to fight in a war". he just hopes they can feel a bit lighter when he's around.

i've mentioned before that i imagine lina's unique magic hurting them a lot in exchange for them to do things as good (or better than) as others so yeah, maybe rollo would find lina suspicious at first but then imagine him finding out about what her magic is doing to her and he's like. "SEE. I AM RIGHT. WE HAVE TO SAVE YOU WE HAVE TO GET RID OF MAGIC WE HAVE TO-" and lina is standing there like "sir.. why do you want to save me.."

*sobs* rollo putting a flower in lina's hair while she's sitting lost in thought and comparing her to that flower *CRIES*

rollo being confused why lilia is 100% okay with a poly relationship and lilia is like "well. uh. well. you see. i have EXPERIENCE" mallenoa and her husband (possibly crowley)

ACTUALLY IT'S SO FUNNY bc if you think about it lina x lilia x rollo is like a reverse version of that relationship. it's not the "actual queen" and a "trash man" it's "the nbc student council president and the most talented student from that school" and "a wet cat i found on the street and said "i just think it's neat"".

*SOBBING* LINA HAS NOTICEABLE FANGS.. DO YOU KNOW WHO ALSO HAS THOSE.. which means linalilia can just bite rollo whenever they want.

lina and lilia dye each other's hair all the time and try to make rollo join them. they fail but it's okay

#AGAIN THANK YOU SM!!#lina answers #friend: taruchi!

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joonsgardenia · 2 years

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Hello!! Idk if you’re still wanting input on if the maknae’s should know miss reader, but what about one of them following her on social media?? Like if she’s a small business owner, artist, or even a streamer or something? Like they aren’t,,, stalking her accounts or anything,,, but if they have notifications on for every time she posts that’s their business 👀😔

Idk it always makes me super soft when the fangirling (or fanboying in this case) is on the other party lol 👀🫠

ahhh my very first ask :b

but, yes i’m welcoming all input and i love that idea sm! and if i am being honest i was thinking that maybe jungkook be the one to know her, because like i said in the summary mc is going to be moving back to korea-as she lived there for some time as a teenager (i would love to do a mc background or get to know mc post if you guys are interested). mc and jungkook most likely met in school were they grew close and became best friends, but when mc moved back to the states they lost contact.

and this is when your idea comes and like kook like stalks her post for a while (definitely has notifications on and likes her post under a secret acc), it’s not in a creepy way per-say just in a “i miss you and i want to see what you’re up to” kind of way. as far as mc’s content that she post she’s kind of an “influencer” not really tho bc she doesn’t have that many followers like a steady 5k followers i would say. she post food content a lot like how her new sour dough bread recipe turned out or her infamous butternut squash soup recipe, she also post her outfits quite a bit bc babe loves to get dolled up and look cute, post her cat kirby (he has his very own highlight reel), just overall a very cute safe space for mc to just post her interest and what she’s been up to :)

i know this is getting long, but i can’t help but feel like once kook meets the boys he kind of forgets about her? like life has been so hectic and just so go-go-go that it slips his mind to check up on his once best friend who he adored a little too much. however, maybe one night he’s in the office stressed out over god knows what CEO shit and see’s a notification pop up saying mc is going live. so, he joins remembering that when he was stressed during finals in high school he would call her just to hear her soothing voice, and just as he’s relaxing he nearly falls out his seat to hear she’s moving back out to korea to help her grandmother with her cafe. he would be so excited to see her again that he just goes on a stalking rampage to see what she’s been up to, and is not happy to see exactly who’s she’s been up to it with.

( i’m so sorry if this is all over the place it’s late and my brain is half functioning 😭 and i’m so with you on the “being soft for fangirling” like first kook is going to be so whipped for mc and literally saying “fuck me being a secret stalking, imma just full on like and comment on my main acc”. and when the other boys come around to mc it’s going to be 6x fanboying over her. but, again there’s going to be a roadblock 😪 it’s slowburn for a reason. )

#✿kat’s : post #✿endless #joonsgardenia #first ask!!!!!!#i left it on a cliffhanger 😭#thoughts are being thunk #i’m so excited for you guys to see this series #kook and mc’s dynamic is gonna be >>>>#bts #bts x reader #bts x black reader #bts x chubby reader

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kowlsy · 1 year

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Eddy boba shop owner

Eddy likes working at the cafe. Its. Satisfying. He knows how to make good tea, he does so quickly and he has spent a fair few hours thinking of the most efficient way to do many drinks at once, arrange the counters, time when the boba will be done.

Its easy and it pays the bills and leaves him plenty of time to live life, practice and meet with his few remaining uni friends, cook good meals and go on long walks.

He's living a small life and he's okay with that. It's not what his mother wanted. It's not what he wanted. But he is genuinely, truly happy to wake up each morning, play for the morning fog, and make people smile all afternoon.

Then. Brett starts coming in. That's what the tag on his case says at least. please return to: Brett Yang. Eddy tries not to memorized the following phone number.

He still finds it doodled on the edges of the receipt paper he's meant to be changing

oolong milk tea, 30% sugar, less ice. with bubbles. sometimes regular milk tea, once a fruit infusion but. On Mondays Thursdays and Fridays at around 4pm. Oolong milk tea, 30% sugar, less ice. with bubbles.

He's beautiful. He’s. Big. Big smile, big glasses, big voice big presence that makes Eddy blush a little. The shop never feels so small as when Brett yang is in it. Eddy lives a small life. Much to small for Brett Yang, who has a QSO badge clipped to his jacket most days

but. Brett smiles at Eddy. Smiles at Eddy when he can't help by roll his eyes at the young boy who gets oreo mocha twist with sweet mousse. Winks at Eddy when picking up his drink. Laughs when Eddy stumbles through a joke.

Eddy starts playing tchaik a lot more, and tells himself he needs to get a grip because, really? Over a costumer who probably wouldn’t even recognize Eddy without the menu hanging above his head?

He's. Trying. he really is. he starts making Brett's order as soon as the man comes it. Brett starts standing at the counter, and Eddy learns how his face wears joy, the first time he takes a sip. They talk about the weather and the trains and Brett asks for his name.

They; maybe become friends? Eddy's life is small. But he can fit a friend in. Despite what else he yearns for. Brett smiles at him and grins when Eddy knows too much about violin, crows that of course Eddy is a violinist, starts asking to hear what pieces he's working on.

He shoves notes across the counter when Eddy starts giving him a discount, tells Eddy about his work, his roommates cat, his favorite bar. Eddy takes note, and tries not to read into it.

(“I literally told him about how cute this bar was, and how I love taking people there and he just nodded along? I'm crazy, no, stop laughing at me, he's just being polite because I'm a customer he's so not interested”)

He starts showing up earlier, just to talk to Eddy. Eddy starts taking his breaks early, just to talk to Brett. It's. Everything, maybe. To chat with him. He just…gets Eddy. Like a missing puzzle piece.

idk how to finish this but uhhhh eddy is sick one day and then the next time B is so worried n gives him his number n E texts him like “haha yes.” and then B texts back “damn should have done this months ago” and then Eddy

decides to do something bold for once and texts “haha if you would have done that i would have thought you were hitting on me.” then he goes and hypervenelates a little til B responds “damn i REALLY should have done it then” n then they kiss kiss fall in love

#tsv #my writing #and here the great tradition of me just not ending these drabbles properly begins #lmaoo

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hugsforthoughts · 3 months

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Saturday, January 27th, 2024

Dear Dairy,

I feel so weird recently.

This is becoming overrated how weird I'm feeling lately. I've been having some rough time in my house so that might be the big part of the reason why. But also I think it might have a bit of correlation with how I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm trying my best at these exams I'm having, well at least I try,, idk if my best. But on the other hand I don't know wth I'm doing in college. Like brother, I certainly don't believe I'll be having good working field after this, well maybe sometimes but most of the time im really confused. That might be also one of the reasons of this weird vibe...

Sometimes I feel like I should do something but don't know what. On one hand I should stay here but on the other hand I feel so damn weird here. I feel like it's all wrong, my life took a wrong turn, I'm not doing what I love. I feel like my time is running out but I'm in my early twenties. I rarely go out. I read books and fanfiction and watch series and that's most of the socialisation I do. I AM an introvert, I know that, but I yearn for something I know my body and mind couldn't bear in the long run. I felt so happy that past Thursday just because I was talking to my teammates on PE class. I finish that class next week and will probably never see them again, not all together. I mean that's good - I fucking hated that class. Why is my mind so split? it wants friends but when I do offer some type of contact with anyone it shuts down and my social battery is gone in span of maybe an hour. This is messed up and I don't know how to fix myself, I don't think even putting myself in rice would help.

Anyways... I should go to therapy probably. I don't want to end up as my mother. But that would require like doing a bunch of other shit since said person cut me out of their health insurance and im a college student. Maybe I should end it all? Well not all, I'd love to just go straight to the city near mountains, maybe live in some shared apartment, work at cafe, adopt a cat... I think that would be really good. Honestly what's stopping me? some stupid degree I don't even care about? why am I studying stuck on this bullshit when my future plans don't involve living till like 50.

That took a turn- well.

ok bye

~ Jun

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gabunomigrlhasfeelings · 5 months

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i am a teenage girl at 4am during finals week, fangirling over him, while he is doing the same over someone else.

i wonder if the two of us are just part of a long string of people. a daisy chain of crushing, if you will.

i adore the stars in his eyes as he obsesses. he's adorable when he's over the moon; it's like those animated sparks from the scott pilgrim netflix show, but in real life, and every time i look into his eyes he leaves me in awe.

it's a sharp contrast from what i almost always find in my eyes: fire. all-consuming, all-absorbing, all-encompassing flame.

well...except when i'm with him. it's as if he has a bucket of water ready at all times, in...idk, one of the ways, ever.

when i'm in his car, it feels like anything but a death box — from how the dashboard looks in his eyes, to the irremovable fragrance of pancakes and plushies, to his thousand-song playlist, it feels like a home away from home.

no. it feels *better* than a home. safer. it feels like his.

and i am obsessed with everything about him.

he's good with pets. especially with cats. to be honest i should take him to that one cat cafe in the east side — it's far from where i am and a hell of a bus and train ride back, but it's so worth it seeing his eyes flicker with warmth again.

i miss him.

i know i'm probably gonna see him again today, tomorrow and the next few days this week. i still miss the hell out of him, like always. i miss how warm it feels in his car and how we get stuck in traffic.

i miss how that $7.21 banana chai tastes; i miss his face when he tried it and told me to get it. banana chai will forever remind me of him, though maybe i'll try that apple pie chai while it's still in season.

i miss how his laugh sounds. i wish i were funnier so i would get to hear it a lot more, because i would do anything. anything anything.

i'm pissed at how scared i am when i'm around him. he makes me feel so soft that i can't even stare a cop down without worrying if they'll hurt him. i'm too scared of losing him now, even when he was never mine to lose to begin with.

he loves stupid girls; i wish i were a bit more stoopid for him. /lh (disjunct from the rest, i just remember this in passing lmao)

i wish i could hate white chocolate with as much of a passion as he does, but hey, i'll eat any white chocolate he throws my way.

he makes me want to actually get home safe: self-preservation is something i really need in my life, if i'm being honest, and he makes me want to survive another day even when things don't look great. or,,,more than just survive. (i would go into the musical theater tangent but honestly i don't want this to be too long of a rant lmao, i want to eventually cut this down into a poem. maybe one i can read at poetry night some time.)

he makes me feel alive.

i'm alive every second that i spend with him, and for the hours and days and weeks that i think of him afterwards. i need him like air, but i'm scared and i want to give him space that he needs. i don't know why i'm so scared of losing him when i'm like his least close friend right now.

for the first time in...forever, someone makes me feel like i can truly be safe. and i don't know if this is love or a crush or a favorite person or a hyperfixation or all of the above, but i need to be his.

i don't know if that's something i can ever be (see the ventpost about him making me want to be a "boy in the demi lovato way or ghibli movie way" but tldr he's gay as fuck) but i think i want to try.

am i coming off to strong? am i annoying him? i don't know and i'm scared to find out. he said he'd tell me if i got too annoying, but i'm very scared that by then i'd be too late.

and i can't lose the boy that makes me feel alive.

i don't know how to end this off. but by the time i condense this down into a poem, the ending will have probably written itself.

but...i don't care if i never get home, if he doesn't care. i just want to be with him, that's all.

why am i so awkward around him? i don't remember crushes ever feeling like this. (though to be fair 90% of the crushes i've had turned out to just be FPs and hyperfixations. this is so different.)

...

dear dream boy,

i need sleep before finals. please, dream boy, take back the butterflies that you put into my stomach — only for the night, or for however long, and give them back whenever you'd like.

i don't mind if i take my test with just you on my mind. i just find it hard to close my eyes when you're all i can see. you'll show up in my dreams and i'll do my best to stop dreaming before i fantasize.

i got you one part of your birthday gift. and i hope you like it, you said you didn't have too much of a preference but you did say you liked them really soft.

ah fuck. i hope you don't find this account and get (one of many parts of) your birthday gift spoiled too soon. or my crush on you spoiled too soon. i hope, though, that if you do actually look through this account, you'll find what i want to tell you but that i'm too scared to. every good night and good morning message i wish i could leave for you. every little thing about you that i admire. every time you make my world more colorful.

good luck on your finals, dream boy. i know you have them too.

good night/morning, and sweet dreams.

xoxo, minty

p.s. i think i'll need to change my online name too, since i changed my handle lmao

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yolkcheeks · 9 months

Text

I was listening to a podcast episode of one of those shows where a mix of rewatch & first watch folks discuss an anime (kawaii desupointment) and it was the Tokyo Mew Mew episode from before New came out and I can’t stop thinking about some of the ideas the person going in totally uninformed had imagined the show would be like.

Like she thought it was a cat rescue thing and oh my god why is Cafe Mew Mew not a cat cafe??? Hijinks with people getting excited to see that one stray tomcat who only comes round from time to time, with the striking eyes, and Ryou just wants to get back to work and finish those darn spreadsheets.

Also man it is a shame they didn’t just name Berry like, Nilla or something, it bothers me so much that this adorable show with too many gimmicks can’t keeps them together.

Okay, let’s plays pretend here. TMM gets the Saban Moon treatment but it’s more like SPOP or Kipo- stylish and made with care. The cafe is a cat cafe- really it’s an animal rescue which R&K had been using to observe any alien impacts on local wildlife, and it has a small cafe attached to it. But Keiichiro still enjoys and is good at patisserie so that combined with small makes them seem more appealing and they get popular over the course of the series. Lettuce might get a rename and I’m sorry about it but she’s the odd one out in terms of being neither a fruit nor a dessert. How about Shiso?

Bonus: if you’re like, what if woof and fish kissed, the ship name could be umeshiso

Also we get more of the aliens backstory. Like so much more.

Nilla is there, and so is Ringo. Should they all get cute new names? Yes. More names is more names.

Okay so I might let Berry be Berry against because if I am going to do all new names I wanna start with the main girls and Zakuro is first for elaborate reasons. I want the pomegranate reference to be clear and others have done Pam, so what about something based on grenada? Grenadine? Nadine is a real name, maybe Nadine Grey the Grey Wolf? I think that works, striking a balance between 90s localization & funky kids show of the now.

Nadine is an influencer and eventually is explicitly dating Menthe, who by the way her outfit looks like ballet warm ups now. It is periodically implied that she’s funneling money to the project.

Shiso is perfect never change babygirl. She could be Key Lime (maybe Merengue as name?) themed instead but I really don’t want to mess with her deal too much so I like that Shiso is still a leaf.

What’s an actual nice sounding Chinese term for pudding or egg tarts? Our consultants inform us of this and that’s what Purin is called now.

Ichigo can stay Ichigo for now, too, since idk that Fariza is an improvement. Their Mew Mew names are whatever their thing is stated plainly, to be clear.

So: Berry & Ringo & Green Mouse Mew.

Mousie can be more of an aqua or teal? Between Mew Mint & Mew Lettuce. I have previously thought pear? Nonbinary because you can’t stop me their name is Perrie, sorted.

Mew Apple aka Mela is of an age with her & Mew Vanilla. Maybe Berry could now be Orchid? Too floral? Just the right amount of fancy? Who knows!

Also they all have like, a brief window when they first are injected to either get a cure or let it stabilize and all opt in because that just feels nicer story wise.

And Blue Knight gets a transformation sequence.

Okay buonanotte.

#yolkcheeks talks #ramblings and ravings #Tokyo Mew Mew #TMM New #Tokyo Mew Mew New #not a headcanon #not a fanfic #but a secret third thing

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jellifysh · 2 years

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first off, LEMME KISS UR BIG BEAUTIFUL BRAIN!!!

second, i was having a bit of a bad day today until my phone started blowing up with tumblr notifications and realized it was GBIST wednesday and immediately read the chapter, which leads me to my next point

i have a few questions/comments/ideas (they might all be the same thing but who cares)

i saw this idea thrown around a bit earlier, but the boys caring for mc after a bad period would warm my heart, i’m not typically one for period stories, but it seems like a cute addition to this one

unless you have it planned already, i think jin or yoongi should get the next nickname. it kinda hinted at it this chapter for jin and i think it would be a cute overall morale booster for yoongi, especially since we haven’t seen the hyungs too much lately.

i can’t remember if mc got a personalized playlist, ignore this if she did, but i think yoongi should make it for her if she hasn’t. we all know that everyone write him out to be less affectionate and more relax and carefree, so it might be a bigger thing for him to put his time and energy into one for her, especially since he’s makin music😋

i also feel that pets should come into play, like mc mentioning that she used to have a dog, cat, or something more unusual like a parrot idk. but then the boys-hoseok gives me animal vibes so maybe just him since we haven’t gotten a bit of him lately- takes her to like a cat cafe or something so she can just play with the cats( i’m prone to kitties okay) and it’s just a cute little date

i know it’s a lot of hyungs but i’ve missed them

also, i know you’ve said mc won’t get a boyfriend or anything but what if there’s a guy being TOO friendly to her, or maybe one of the guys at the dance studio ( i forgot their names forgive me )

also i know that the boys are famous and well known, will there be any scandal or anything since they are and we’re not?

also ( i say also alot) this is my favorite quote from this chapter “I'm literally wearing a ten dollar Hawaiian shirt right now." He replied, handing you your necklace. "This is the least tacky thing I'm wearing."

your story is super cute, and making me fall head over heels for them all over again, also, i love your style of writing

<3<3<3

omg anon you are a genius, I can connect all the dots now! The next chapter will have the hyungs taking care of you on your period, that way it's the period thing and a hyung focused chapter! I think for the hyungs, the nickname is just going to be oppa, like Jin oppa, yoongi oppa, but they love it <3

yoongi is making her a song, remember when she was humming and he recorded it? Yeah, thats getting made into a hit, so I think that's a little more than a personalized playlist but it still works. A cat cafe would be adorable, I feel like a lot of the reader and hobi's relationship is them just getting a vibe on each other, like seeing past the fake and being comfortable enough to vent to each other

You will get that extra friendly, just not this chapter... I want to say... two chapters from now? So yeah jealous boys :) and mention of a possible scandal, nothing too big but your name gets tossed around and it also comes up in the near future chpaters, but like I said, the boys are gatekeeping the mc so that's gonna take a while.

And I love that line too, it's so perfectly GBIST!Jimin and im glad my writing style is still likeable <3 I really tried this chapter

#thanks for the ask!#anon ask

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wooyunhwa · 4 years

Text

Genre: smut, fluff, humorous undertones

Pairing: barista!san & barista!wooyoung x fem!reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: idk just a lot of smut scenes, semi-public sex (in a bathroom), minor pet play (san discovers he’s furry trash), threesome with san and wooyoung but they’re not gay for each other, mild food play (whipped cream)

Synopsis: How do you choose between two cute baristas competing for your attention? The short answer: you don’t.

A/N: This one starts wholesome and gets wild. I have a problem with writing San with a furry kink oops,, anyway there’s three separate smut scenes in this so strap in and enjoy the ride~ this was so much fun to write and I hope it’s just as fun to read! Comments are appreciated as always <3

You paid for your coffee, taking your debit card back from the cashier with a polite nod and a “thank you.” He smiled warmly, flashing his brilliant teeth as he tore off the little piece of paper from the printer.

“Receipt?” he asked.

“Sure,” you replied.

His name was San, which you knew from his nametag. You had come to that particular cafe enough that you were pretty familiar with everyone. You took it, smiling back at him. It could have been your imagination, but lately it seemed like his gaze had been lingering on you. He would make eye contact for a little longer than necessary when you ordered, or smile a little too much when handing you your coffee, or maybe not, and it was all just in your head. You kinda hoped it wasn’t, because he was really, really cute.

You’d been coming to that coffee shop since earlier in the summer, sporadically at first, but midterms coming up meant you really had to buckle down on trying to tame your workload. You kinda regretted taking summer classes at first, but it was nice to have the coffee shop all to yourself in the evenings, unlike in the fall when it was packed with students. It was so quiet, in fact, that the employees had shut the lights off and almost closed up once when they hadn’t noticed you were still inside. It wasn’t strange for you to be the last customer left in the cafe, especially since you’d been staying late to study more often.

You set your laptop up in your usual spot—the corner seat with the outlet. It was cozy and out of the way, and relatively free of distractions. Well, relatively meaning there was still a very cute barista shooting glances your way, and you tried your best to keep your eyes glued to your screen as you typed out your essay for your literature class. But you couldn’t help but peek in his direction every now and then.

“Y/N?” a voice called. It was Wooyoung’s voice, not San’s. Wooyoung was the other cute barista who worked there, and honestly, you’d kinda had your eye on both of them for a while. It wasn’t unusual for them to be working at the same time, but most nights it was either one or the other. He gave you a sweet smile as you thanked him and took the cup back to your seat.

Next to your name was a smiley face and some cute flower doodles, and you grinned at the fact that he’d gone out of his way to make your coffee cup look special. Wooyoung always drew a cute little design next to your name, sometimes including phrases like “have a good day!” or “you rock!” or even a short little joke. You often wondered if he did that for other customers, or if he was doing it to flirt with you. Which you kinda hoped was the case, to be honest. He had a playful, sexy charm about him, and you often wondered how a person could make an apron look so hot.

The next day, you were working diligently when you noticed San slide into the empty seat across from you as you worked. You looked up from your coffee, startled, but moved your laptop out of the way to give him some room.

“What’cha studying?” he asked, grinning as he leaned over to peek at your screen.

“Oh—uh, just studying for midterms, nothing too exciting,” you said, taking a shy sip of your coffee. He was even more beautiful up close, his smile almost too dazzling for words. He ran a hand through his pale blonde hair, turning his head to glance out the window, and you marvelled at the cut of his jawline as he tipped his chin up slightly. He turned back, meeting your stare warmly.

“Is it ok if I sit here? I can move, I don’t wanna bother you—“

“No, not at all!” you said a little too quickly. “Actually, I was just about to take a break from studying.”

“Oh, nice! I’m on break, too,” he said, a warm smile still plastered across his face. You tried your best not to stare, but it was futile.

“I’m Y/N,” you said instinctively.

He laughed. “Yeah, I know. I take your coffee order every day!”

Your face felt red hot. Something about looking at how gorgeous he was made your brain short-circuit.

“But while we’re introducing ourselves, I’m San,” he said seriously before breaking into a smile. He extended his hand for a cheesy handshake.Your heart fluttered a bit at how charming he was.

“I know, I order coffee from you every day,” you teased back.

You chatted for a while, exchanging flirtatious quips with each other. The time seemed to fly by and you noticed him glancing at the clock nervously.

“Shit, I gotta get back to work,” he sighed, lifting himself up from the table, his toned arms flexing beneath the rolled sleeves of his button up. “But hey, here’s my number,” he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket smoothly and slid it across the table. “We should do something this weekend.”

You knew he was being flirtatious, but you didn’t expect him to actually make a move. You wouldn’t say you were unattractive, but this guy felt way out of your league.

You nodded a bit too enthusiastically, flashing a smile. “I’ll call you,” you said, holding the piece of paper up between your fingers.

He winked, and nodded towards the bar. “You know where to find me.”

You found yourself at the cafe again the following night, as your workload never seemed to end. Last night, San had given you his number on his break, and you smiled as you got a text from him asking if you were free that weekend. You messaged back and forth for a bit, eventually settling on a plan to meet at a cat cafe on Saturday.

San wasn’t working that night, but Wooyoung was, and you felt a little strange flirting with him after you’d already given San your number. But he probably didn’t know that, and it’s not like you were dating either of them, so why not?

Wooyoung called your name when your coffee was ready, and you hopped out of your seat to grab it from the bar. To your surprise, there was no cup to be seen, and you looked up to see Wooyoung holding your drink in his hand with a mischievous smile.

“Question,” he said. “Why did the coffee file a police report?”

You looked at him in confusion, trying to come up with a response.

“Because it was mugged!” he said, grinning at his joke.

“Ha-ha,” you said sarcastically, but you couldn’t help the smile spreading across your face. “Are you holding my drink hostage?”

“Yes, would you like to hear the conditions?”

“Conditions?” you laughed, raising your eyebrows.

“Mhm. One: I have another joke, and this time you have to laugh.” Wooyoung dangled the cup of coffee in his fingers, taunting you with it.

“Ok, I’ll do my best. What’s the second condition?”

“Second condition: you have to text me,” he said, and he turned the cup to show you he’d written his number on one side, surrounded by hearts and winky faces.

“Ok, deal,” you said, cheeks heating up as you saw the smile spread across his face. He was gorgeous, and undoubtedly charming, how could you say no?

“Alright, why did the hipster burn his tongue?”

“Why?”

“He drank it before it was cool.” He pushed the cup across the bar to you, and you forced a laugh, taking it from his hand as he stuck his tongue out cheekily.

You put his number in your phone, sending him a text with an equally cheesy joke you found off google. You heard him laugh when he read it, and you smiled as you continued to type out your essay.

[Saturday, 4pm]

It was finally time for your first date, and you arrived at the cat cafe a few minutes early, eager in anticipation. You couldn’t help but think about how cute he was as you waited—you couldn’t believe he’d even asked you out in the first place. Let alone both of them.

You heard him calling to you and you turned in the direction of his voice as he walked up to meet you by the entrance. “Hey, Y/N! I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.” You shook your head reassuringly. “Shall we go inside? Pretty ladies first,” he said, opening the door for you and flashing you a flirtatious smile.

You two were seated at your table, and immediately the cats took interest in you, rubbing on your legs and mewing. You admired him as he pet them lovingly. There was nothing more attractive than a man who loved animals.

He ordered coffee and you opted for tea, and you both split a blueberry scone. The waitress came over with a small basket full of cat toys and accessories to play with, and you grabbed a handful, including a cute little headband with cat ears, which you slid on your head. You started playing with the cat toys when you noticed San’s eyes trained to you—specifically to the cheap cat ears on your head.

He tipped his head to the side in thought. “Wow, you look really nice in those ears.”

“Huh, these?” you said, gesturing to the cat ears. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing,” you teased jokingly. You noticed his face go red suddenly, and you couldn’t help but blush back. He was looking at you like you were the only other person in existence.

“You never know,” he joked back, letting out a soft laugh and raising his eyebrow. He was so damn charming.

You spent the rest of the time playing with the kitties at the cafe, and you couldn’t help but marvel at how cute he was. He was the poster child for duality—his good looks were intimidating, and every time you saw him standing there with a straight face, he looked kind of scary, the kind of man you wouldn’t ever have the courage to approach. That is, until he flashed his intoxicating, dimpled smile of his, which immediately put you at ease, his eyes forming into cute crescents as he laughed.

“Do you have any pets?” He asked, making light conversation as he dangled a toy in front of one of the kittens.

“Not right now, my apartment doesn’t allow them,” you said dejectedly. “But I really want a dog when I move out.”

“Hey, I have a dog! He’s a Shiba, he’s super sweet. Everyone who meets him falls in love instantly,” he smiled, twirling the cat toy between his fingers. “You could come meet him if you want?”

You blushed, flustered a bit at the idea of going to his place. But you two were really hitting it off, and you definitely didn’t want the day to end. You nodded eagerly. “I’d really like that.”

He flashed you another big smile, and you were entranced. How could he be so charming?

When you got to his apartment, he immediately introduced you to his dog, Shiber. You laughed at the unexpectedly literal name choice.

“Shiber the Shiba?” you teased, and he laughed with you about it. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a date go so well, and your cheeks hurt from the constant smiling.

You ended up settling on the couch to watch a movie, but neither of you were paying attention. Your movie plans had devolved into you talking and laughing with the TV only acting as background noise for your conversation. At one point, your conversation reached its natural conclusion, and you had your eyes trained to his lips, signaling that you wanted him to make a move. He noticed immediately, and scooted himself as close as possible to you, pushing your hair behind your ear. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, like you hadn't just been begging him to with your eyes seconds before. You answered by pressing your lips to his softly, and he reciprocated fervently. You immediately tasted the faint lingering of coffee, and you smiled against his lips. What could be more fitting for a man you’d met at the coffee shop?

As the kisses began to escalate in intensity, you swung your leg over his and planted yourself firmly in his lap. He pulled you in by the waist, his hands grasping at your shirt eagerly, and you pressed your hips down against his crotch. The sudden pressure caused his breath to hitch in his throat.

“That feels so good,” he moaned against your lips.

You took his words as motivation to grind yourself faster and harder against the hard mound growing underneath you, taking pleasure in the moans and grunts escaping him. He grasped hungrily at the fabric of your shirt, practically tearing it off of your body. You were taken aback by his sudden aggression, but welcomed his forwardness as he began kissing and sucking down your neck.

You pulled back, slipping off of his lap, and planted your knees in the carpet. You began unzipping his pants, and he ran his fingers through your hair in anticipation.

“Wait,” he said suddenly. You looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. “I keep thinking about something… those cat ears from earlier looked so sexy on you.”

“I told you you had a cat kink,” you said with a chuckle.

“I can’t stop thinking about making you my pet. You’d just look so good in ears and a collar,” he said, eyes darkening as he marveled at the sight of you kneeling before him. The way he said it sent shivers down your spine. His voice was so much deeper now, dripping with lust.

“Well you do have a dog,” you joked lightly.

A lightbulb seemed to go off in his head, and he quickly got up and rustled around in the other room for something. When he came back you were still in the same position, and he knelt behind you, leaning in close.

“Wanna be my pet?” he whispered in your ear, and you giggled, thinking he was still joking.

“Sounds fun,” you responded.

You were met with the feeling of a vice being tightened around your neck. He was serious? “I’ve always wanted to try something like this,” he mused in your ear, clicking the collar together. “Turn around,” he demanded, and his sudden commanding tone had you melting at his feet. You liked when he was cute, but you might have liked this side of him even more.

You wasted no time getting your lips around his cock. It was picturesque in every way, and you wanted to savor it. His hands tangled in your hair as he held back from thrusting himself into you, and you took him as deeply as you could into your mouth. You took his dick enthusiastically, pressing your tongue firmly against it as you hollowed your cheeks to suck. You hummed against him, and you felt his fingers tense in your hair as he bucked his hips up needily. You glanced up at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of his pleasured expression. The view from beneath him was incredible, and it gave you a chance to marvel at the curve of his jaw from below. “Fuck...” he moaned. You pulled back for a moment to take a breath, your saliva connecting at the tip of his cock, and he let out a pleased sigh at the lewd display. “Good girl,” he praised, patting the top of your head softly. It was cute and hot at the same time, and you didn’t know how that was even possible, but he pulled it off effortlessly.

You resisted the urge to joke around with him—you weren’t in a position to kink shame.

As he patted your head, you noticed something glistening on the floor next to you. A leash?

“What, are you gonna leash me up now?” you asked playfully, glancing up at him from your submissive position.

“Well, yeah. I am.” His lips drew up into a devilish smirk as he retrieved the leash from beside you and hooked it on the collar around your neck. You had never done anything like this before, and you couldn’t deny it was kinda hot. You let out a small whimper as he tugged at the chain, testing your reaction. He wrapped his hand around the end of the leash a few times before yanking it gently, drawing you up to your feet. Even though it started as a joke, he was really getting into it, and you couldn’t lie, you were too.

His finger dragged along the edge of the collar. “God, you look so good in this thing. Come to bed with me.” You wanted to, not that you really had a choice in the matter as he led you by the chain to his bed.

He shoved you down forcefully onto your stomach, but you bounced back gently against the soft mattress. He slipped off your panties, bringing a finger down between your legs to sample your wetness.

“Looks like I’m not the only one with a cat kink here,” he teased, pushing one finger inside. It slipped in effortlessly, and you let out a whine at the stimulation. He teased in and out with his finger torturously, twisting it inside you, every so often pushing against your clit to watch you squirm.

You couldn’t take it anymore. “San, Jesus Christ, just fuck me.”

That was all he needed to hear. He pushed in slowly at first before bottoming out inside of you. He tugged your collar as he pulsed his dick inside you, tugging at your collar, causing you to let out a soft choked moan against the pressure. He grabbed your hips hungrily, pulling your hips back against him impatiently.

He started to pick up the pace, thrusting rhythmically, one hand holding the leash and the other fisted in your hair. You were entirely overwhelmed in the best way possible. “Harder,” you urged, and his thrusts followed your orders. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the sensation of him inside you, and of course, the high you got from the collar choking around your neck. He pulled out of you and released himself on your lower back with heavy labored breaths. Your body gave out beneath you, causing you to collapse on the bed, waiting for him to bring back a cool cloth to clean you up with.

After you both had collected yourselves, you flopped into the soft sheets of San’s bed. He sunk into the sheets next to you, and you rolled over to swing a tired arm around his chest.

“Well that was… memorable,” you giggled, and he laughed with you, still riding a high from your orgasm.

“So I made a good impression?” he joked.

You melted into his touch as he traced his fingers down your back. You nuzzled your head into the warm crook of his neck, finally starting to feel a bit drowsy from your wild night.

“Yeah, you made a great one.”

[Sunday, 9pm]

The buzzer went off in the laser tag arena, signaling the start of the game. Everyone scattered, artificial gun sounds filling the room as you ducked for cover. Glowing barrels leaking “toxic waste” littered the dark room, and you dove behind one, dodging enemy fire with a nimble slide.

Wooyoung spotted you as you poked your head over the top of the barrel, and he pursued you with a grin, weapon poised to shoot. Lasers discharged from his gun, aiming for the target at the center of your chest, and you squealed and scrambled away.

He chased you, running a full circle around the barricade, and you turned on your heels, shooting him square in the chest. Wooyoung gasped in mock-offense, and you ran away as he raised his gun again. He had insisted on playing for the opposing team so he could whoop your ass, but so far you were winning.

You chased each other around like that for a while, giggling and shooting lasers at each other, ignoring the other players in favor of your own flirty warfare. He landed a particularly well-placed shot at your gun, and it made a sad little noise and died, lights flickering as it disabled.

Wooyoung smirked, backing you into a corner, cut off from all the other players by an artificially dilapidated wall.

“You’re weaponless,” he laughed, nodding his head toward your defunct toy gun. He pressed closer, causing your back to hit the wall, and he brought a hand up to it to cage you there.

“Please, spare me!” you giggled, your faces just inches apart. Your heart began to beat faster as he leaned in, sliding his arm around your waist, pulling your body against his.

“Not this time,” he said, and pressed your lips together. You dropped your gun, letting it fall to the carpet as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders, reciprocating the kiss.

Wooyoung pressed you firmly against the wall, his tongue sliding against yours with a soft sigh. You got way too into it, completely forgetting where you were as the kiss grew more and more heated. His hands came down to squeeze your ass, pulling you even closer against his body, and you were about ready to fuck him right then and there before the buzzer went off once more, snapping you back to reality.

You both pulled back, startled, then burst into laughter. As you caught your breath, you couldn’t help but stare. He had a beautiful smile, and a contagious laugh that had you doubled over for a second time.

“We should probably go before they kick us out,” you said breathlessly, picking your gun up from the floor.

“It was just getting good, too,” he pouted, pulling you in for another quick kiss before leading the way back to the gear room.

You hung up your vests and put yours guns back, and you were grabbing your purse from the locker when you felt Wooyoung come up behind you. He slid his hands over your waist and leaned in close to your ear, his warm breath tickling your neck. You quickly looked around to see if anyone was around, but you were the last two there, since it had taken you the longest to return.

“What’s my prize for winning?” he asked, his lips just barely brushing against your neck.

“Oh, there was a prize?” you teased, and turned around to face him. He had mischief all over his face, and you kinda just wanted to pull him in and pick up where you left off in the arena.

As if thinking the same thing, he leaned in, pressing your back against the lockers as he sealed your lips together. The kiss was even more heated than before, and you let your hands wander over his shirt, across the plane of his chest, moving downward to give him a teasing squeeze to the front of his jeans. He groaned against your lips, pulling back just enough to give you a sly smile.

“Just can’t wait, huh?”

“So what if I can’t?” you said against his lips, and he pressed you harder against the lockers.

“Dirty, I like it. You want my dick that bad?”

“Mm, maybe,” you laughed, and he captured your lips again, sliding his hands down to your hips.

“Why does home have to be so far away,” he whined playfully.

“I mean… they have a bathroom.” You were joking, but then again, were you?

“A bathroom?” he raised his eyebrows, surprised and also quite impressed at your suggestion. “What goes on in that little head of yours?”

“I guess you’ll see,” you said, grabbing his wrist, sliding out from underneath him to lead him into the single occupant bathroom down the hall. It was pretty late, and most of the employees were up front, so you were able to slip into the bathroom together without being seen. You flipped the lock, pushing Wooyoung against the heavy door as it slammed shut.

You kissed him hard, palming the bulge forming in his jeans, reveling in the way he moaned against your lips. You were on a roll—two hot baristas in one weekend? You felt a little guilty agreeing to both dates at first, but who could blame you?

The heart wanted what the heart wanted. Well, maybe not your heart so much...

You sank to your knees, maintaining eye contact as you worked his belt open and pulled down the zipper on his jeans, and he helped you slide his boxers down enough to let his dick spring free.

You wrapped your hand around his length, jerking it a few times until he bit his lip and tipped his head back against the door. You were in the mood to tease him, for some reason, and it was working. You planted a tiny kiss to the head of his cock, and you heard him sigh above you.

“Stop torturing me.”

You giggled, giving the tip of his dick another small peck. Slowly, you wrapped your lips around it, giving the slit a little flick with your tongue, and he groaned in the back of his throat. You took more of it, letting it sink deeper into your mouth, curling your hand around what you couldn’t fit.

You sucked hard, cheeks hollowing out as you bobbed your head, forming a steady rhythm as you began jerking him off as well. A particularly well-executed twisting motion had him cursing aloud, and you pulled back, a thin string of saliva connected to your lip.

“Shh, quiet!” you stage-whispered up at him, grinning at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“C’mere,” Woouoing said as he pulled you up, giving you a quick kiss before spinning you around. “Hands on the counter.”

“But it’s wet,” you whined, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser to mop up the water.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Wooyoung teased, flipping your skirt up to give you a sudden smack on the ass. You yelped, partially because of the smack, partially because your elbows were resting in a puddle of cold water.

You watched him in the mirror as he massaged your ass, momentarily in his own world as he admired it. You wiggled your hips to pull him back to reality.

He slid a hand between your legs, rubbing over the crotch of your panties, watching your face in the mirror as he added more pressure and started teasing circles over your clit with his fingers. You whined, breathy and needy, and you watched his face light up into a smirk in the mirror.

He slid your panties down, the thin fabric falling around your ankles. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans, retrieving a condom from between the bills. He ripped it open with his teeth, spitting the torn plastic onto the floor as he rolled the condom onto his cock.

Wooyoung lined his cock up with your pussy, dragging it along your wet folds, and it slid in easily. You bit your lip as he slipped it in, pushing in slowly with a groan. He started off slow at first, then quickly picked up the pace, falling into a fast rhythm as he fucked you.

You didn’t even care that the counter was wet anymore. You clawed at it with your fingernails, scratching against the sink as he fucked you harder, and it was becoming difficult to silence the cries that spilled from your mouth.

“Fuck, harder,” you whined, and he obliged. The wet sound of his cock fucking into you echoed in the small, single-person bathroom, and you wondered if people could hear from outside. Not that you really cared at that moment.

You were in heaven, not in a grimy public bathroom. At least, that’s what it felt like. His thrusts grew faster, and he slid a hand around your front to stroke his fingers over your clit. You had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from crying out, and your other hand slipped forward and accidentally set off the automatic soap dispenser, depositing foam all over the back of your hand.

“Fuck, shit,” you said, and you both started cracking up as you shook your hand, splattering foamy soap all over the mirror.

Tears welled up in your eyes from laughing so hard, but it wasn’t long before your laughter turned to moans again as fucked you faster, giving a few broken thrusts as he finished, groaning as he buried his cock to the hilt.

Wooyoung let his sweaty forehead fall against your back, panting out laughter as you wiped your soapy hand against his arm.

“Someone definitely heard us,” he said, and you hummed in agreement.

He pulled out, snapping the condom off and tying it up before slingshotting it into the trash can with impressive accuracy. You were busy using toilet paper to wipe down your crotch when a sudden knock on the door made you both freeze.

Wooyoung mouthed oh shit! as you clamped a hand around your mouth to muffle your laughter.

“Just a minute!” he called at the door, and you both cleaned up as fast as you could, bursting into a new round of laughter every time you made eye contact.

Good thing you’d chosen to go with the adults only time slot for your laser tag date.

In the days following your two dates, you still attended the coffee shop as regularly as you had before. You couldn’t seem to focus anywhere else. Things were relatively normal, but any time Wooyoung and San happened to be working together on the same day, you didn’t know how to speak to one without exposing yourself to the other, so you opted for no flirting at all, pretending instead to be too preoccupied with your studies. It was probably suspicious, how cold you acted to them when they were working together, but you didn’t want to seem like you were flirting with one and not the other.

It was Friday, and you were engaged in a particularly intense study session, and in your focused state, the time seemed to slip away without warning. You glanced up to realize the sun had set completely, meaning it’d soon be time for the cafe to close. It was just you, Wooyoung and San left in the cafe now, who were the only ones working the evening closing shift that night. You gathered up your things quickly, trying to leave without making much of a scene. You still felt awkward around the both of them when they were together, not knowing how to approach the delicate situation.

As you were walking out the door, an arm came down and blocked your exit.

“Don’t leave just yet.” It was San’s voice, and you turned to see him looking at you with a strange expression. You were the last one left in the store, so he was obviously addressing you. He kept his arm out to block your path. You looked at him in confusion.

“So I was talking with Wooyoung, and both of us happened to hook up with a cute regular over the weekend. Turns out, it was the same one.”

You shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze, not knowing what to make of the awkward situation. Was he mad? You peeked up at him to gauge his expression, but to your surprise, he was smiling. “Oh, uh…” was all you could say.

You glanced over your shoulder, and Wooyoung had sat down at one of the tables in the middle of the cafe, leaning nonchalantly back into his seat.

“Come on, let’s have a chat,” San said, and for some reason his tone sent shivers down your spine. You swallowed, San’s hands on your shoulders spinning you around and guiding you to the table where Wooyoung was sitting. Neither of them seemed particularly upset, which made you even more confused on why they were confronting you about it in the first place.

You sat down at one side of the table, and San joined, both of them facing you. You set your bag on the floor and placed your hands in your lap, feeling like you were in trouble.

“Alright, spill. Who was better?” Wooyoung said bluntly.

“Who was—huh?” you said, gaping at the unexpected question.

Wooyoung threw San a glance, like there was an inside joke you were missing. “C’mon, we just wanna know. We have a bet going, so who was better?”

“No way, I’m not answering that!” you laughed indignantly. San made a pouty face at you.

“I think it was me,” Wooyoung said, crossing his arms. “I kicked your ass at laser tag and you loved it.”

“Hell no! Cat cafe totally wins,” San whined.

“C’mon, you wish you’d thought of laser tag. Just admit it.”

“Ok, fine, laser tag is pretty cool,” San sighed. “But you don’t have a cute dog like I do.”

“I don’t need a cute dog, I’m already cute enough as it is,” Wooyoung said, making a cutesy gesture with his hands around his face at you. You and San both rolled your eyes.

“Whatever you wanna tell yourself,” San said dryly, and Wooyoung gave him a playful shove. “Ok, laser tag or cat cafe?” he asked you seriously.

“I can’t pick,” you said, which was the truth. They were both fun, how could you possibly pick the superior date?

“Making out in a laser tag arena or… cat hair up your nose. Tough choice.” Wooyoung pretended to seriously mull over the question.

“Uh, how ‘bout… sexy kittycat with a leash, or disgusting public bathroom?” San shot back at him.

“I’m not saying public bathrooms aren’t gross, but that’s why it’s hot,” Wooyoung shrugged, confident with his answer.

You covered your face with your hands, mortified to be having this conversation. “Do we have to be having this discussion?” you groaned.

“Yes!” they said in unison, like cartoon characters.

“Which of us was the better lay?” Wooyoung demanded.

“Not telling!” you hmph’d, crossing your arms petulantly.

“I put a dog collar on you, so obviously me,” San said, hitting the table like a lawyer who’d just won his case.

“You did help San discover his furry kink—,”

“I’ll kill you.”

“—But my dick is bigger.”

“No it isn’t!”

They both looked at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to settle it. You made a gesture indicating that your lips were sealed. You wondered how long they planned on arguing for.

“I think there’s only one way to settle this,” Wooyoung said matter-of-factly.

What, were they about to whip their dicks out and measure them?

“You fuck both of us.” Didn’t you do that already? “...Right now.” Oh.

“Deal,” you said a little too quickly. You couldn’t choose anyway, so wasn’t it the perfect solution?

“Wow, fast answer,” San commented, and you blushed a little at his call-out. “Don’t forget, the bet is still on,” he called over his shoulder as he got up to lock the door and draw the blinds over the windows.

“And I’m so winning it,” Wooyoung said as he scooped you up from your chair, carrying you honeymoon-style to the bar and depositing you onto the counter. San flipped a few of the lights off as he came back, keeping just enough of them on so that it wasn't completely dark.

Wooyoung disappeared for a second, ducking down to retrieve something from the fridge underneath the counter. He popped back up with a canister of whipped cream, then threw his shirt over his head, tossing it behind him. He sprayed a line of whipped cream along his neck, tipping his chin up to give you the most access. He leaned in, caging you against the counter with his arms. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for your move.

You kissed along his neck, scooping up the whipped cream with your tongue and tasting the sugar on his skin. You licked it clean, and glanced up at San, who rolled his eyes and grabbed the can from Wooyoung’s hand. Not to be bested, he sprayed some directly into his mouth, maintaining eye contact with you as he did so.

He leaned on the counter next to you, and you hooked a finger in the collar of his shirt and pulled him in, leaning over Wooyoung’s shoulder to kiss him. You slid your tongue into his mouth, lapping up the whipped cream as he smirked against your lips.

Wooyoung scoffed as he kissed along your neck, pulling back to utter a brief but sarcastic “wooow.” His hands came up to feel underneath your shirt, pushing it up to your shoulders, ducking his head to pull your bra down with his teeth. He brought his mouth to your nipple, licking and sucking on it, and you moaned against San’s lips. His thumb traced circles along your skin, and you wanted more.

San moved a hand between your legs, giving your thigh a quick squeeze before dipping under your skirt and brushing his fingers over the crotch of your panties. He used just enough pressure to have you squirming, determined to be the one to make you moan. You felt like the luckiest girl alive, having these two hot baristas competing over you.

San slid your panties off, dropping them to the floor. He teased his thumb over your clit, and you arched your back, threading your fingers into Wooyoung’s hair. He gave a soft moan against your breast, then raised his head, stealing you from San as he locked you in a heated kiss.

You felt the press of San’s fingers as he slipped them inside you, dragging them in and out as you moaned into Wooyoung’s mouth. You raised your arms so Wooyoung could take your shirt off, and he worked on your bra next. San’s fingers moved faster as Wooyoung brushed your nipples with his thumbs, and you had no idea who was winning at this point.

You tipped your head back, moaning loudly as San fucked you with his fingers, and Wooyoung sucked along the curve of your neck, teeth scraping along the sensitive skin. Suddenly, Wooyoung brought a hand up to your face, brushing his fingers along your lips, and you opened them, letting him dip two fingers into your mouth. You sucked, letting your tongue drag between them, and both of them watched you hungrily, eyes full of desire.

“Alright, how ‘bout this?” Wooyoung said, pulling back. You looked at him in confusion, and San slipped his fingers out to see what he was about to do. Wooyoung worked his belt open, sliding his pants down enough to free his dick. It sprang free, and he grabbed the canister again, spraying whipped cream in a line along his cock.

“Gross,” San muttered to himself as you hopped off the counter, getting on your knees in front of Wooyoung.

You gave the tip of his dick a tiny lick, laughing as a little puff of whipped cream stuck to your nose. He wiped it off with his finger, then licked it off with a smirk. You dragged your tongue along his cock, kissing and sucking off the whipped cream as you worked your way down the shaft. He gave a satisfied moan, petting your hair as you licked it clean.

"Let's take this to the couch," Wooyoung said, and San agreed with a nod.

San guided you to a small carpeted area with a couch and a few chairs, draping you over the arm of the couch as he slid beneath you, grabbing your hips and lining you up with his mouth. He took a few tentative licks. “Mm, you taste so good,” he moaned against you.

Wooyoung moved in front of you, and you took him in your mouth eagerly, twisting the base of his dick with your hands as you sucked. He let out a few pleasured groans, signaling that he wanted more.

Pleasure swelled inside of you as San began circling your clit with his tongue. You moaned around Wooyoung’s cock, sending vibrations up the shaft that had him biting his lip. You let your tongue circle the head of his cock, distracted by San as he upped the intensity.

Soon enough you were grinding against his face, leaning your head against Wooyoung’s hip as you jerked him off, moaning as San slid his fingers into you once again.

You brought the tip of Wooyoung’s cock back into your mouth, bobbing your head over his length. You pulled off as you felt your climax growing, Wooyoung’s hand stroking your hair as you rode San’s face. San sucked hard on your clit as he fucked you with his fingers, and you cried out as you came, bucking your hips against his face involuntarily.

San kissed all the way down your inner thigh as he slid out from under you, a subtle smirk on his face that indicated he thought he was winning so far. You caught your breath, moving to the center of the couch to make room for the guys. San swiveled to face you, his cock in front of your face as Wooyoung’s hands found their way to your ass.

You repositioned yourself to all fours, waiting expectantly to feel Wooyoung’s cock push into you. In front of you, San tipped your chin up to meet his gaze, his lips pulling into a sinister smirk. He pushed his thumb against your lip, dragging it down slightly, then hooked two fingers in your mouth, pulling it open to accept his eager cock.

As if they had conspired, Wooyoung slid the tip of his dick inside of you at the same time that San pushed his against your lips. Your head rushed with bliss at the sudden overwhelming sensation of being taken from both ends. You moaned deeply, sending vibrations against San’s dick as Wooyoung pushed fully into you.

“Look at me,” San cooed, resting one hand under your chin, the other wrapped tightly in your hair. You lifted your gaze up, maintaining eye contact with him as he gently rocked against the roof of your mouth. “Good girl.” You heard Wooyoung scoff as San sang your praises. They fought for your attention as San maintained eye contact, but Wooyoung’s thrusts behind you had you seeing stars. Wooyoung’s hands clamped your ass, digging his nails in as he squeezed, delivering a harsh slap to your ass. They seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as you were—you could tell from their moans harmonizing beautifully as they shared you, and your mind short-circuited trying to focus just on one or the other.

“That’s a good girl… just like that, princess,” San purred, holding your chin as you sucked and licked at his dick enthusiastically.

“Can you shut up,” Wooyoung groaned, making a fake gagging noise. “I don’t wanna hear your voice right now.”

San smirked in amusement as he continued sliding in and out of your mouth. You wondered how much fun he must be having making Wooyoung gag like that.

You pressed your tongue firmly on San’s shaft as you sucked, and he bit his lip, holding back stifled moans. Behind you, Wooyoung’s thrusts grew more aggressive as he sunk his nails into your ass. “Fuck,” Wooyoung grunted, giving one final thrust before pulling out hastily, cursing as he finished. Warm liquid dripped slowly down the curve of your back as you turned your attention back to San, who was nearing his tipping point. You focused all your efforts on his dick, sucking mercilessly until he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled out, painting your face with hot streaks of cum. You stuck your tongue out to catch some, and the rest dribbled down your cheeks and chin. He smiled, petting your hair softly.

“What a good kitty, lapping up my milk,” he said, making direct eye-contact with Wooyoung, who immediately gagged.

“Are you trying to make me sick right now? If I hadn’t cum already my boner would be dead.” San laughed, cherishing Wooyoung’s disgust. “Just having a little fun. I know how to show my girl a good time.”

“My girl,” Wooyoung corrected.

You took pleasure in listening to them fight over you. You knew they were going to ask you who was better, but you really couldn’t decide in this moment. You honestly kind of wanted both. But right now you were more worried about the sticky liquid threatening to drip on the cafe’s couch.

“Guys, stop. Can someone get me a towel or something?” you asked. Hearing your voice, they both stopped bickering and trained their eyes on you, eyes growing wide as they realized you were still draped over the arm of the couch, cum dripping slowly down your sides.

“Shit! Sorry,” Wooyoung said as he scrambled to locate the nearest towel. Wooyoung got you cleaned up, and you all searched for your haphazardly discarded clothing scattered around the cafe.

“Pretty sure that violated like, every food safety rule,” San joked as he buttoned his shirt back up.

“Yikes, you’re right. Maybe we should throw that whipped cream away,” Wooyoung said, pretending to cringe. You laughed, shuddering at the idea of them using it for people’s drinks after such… unprofessional activities. Wooyoung came and stood next to you, crossing his arms. “So, who won?”

#san smut #ateez smut #woosan smut #wooyoung smut #seonghwa smut #choi san smut #ateez fic #yunho smut #hongjoong smut #mingi smut #yeosang smut #ateez reaction #ateez scenario

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siren-virus · 3 years

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Luckyboy!AU thing. So I went looking some stuff up, and I can perfectly imagine that Ben would name himself Nekomata, the name for the lucky cats in japanese; you know, because he wants the victims he rescues to have luck in their lives and to bring some of that to himself. However this confuses the Plumbers a whole lot, after all, why would a vigilante want to bring to himself and the others luck in education and love? Green Nekomatas bring luck in education and pink ones (close enough to magenta) bring luck towards love. Spoiler: Ben didn't know what the colors mean, he just thought that the lucky cats bring luck in general to people. His stickers could be coins in order to keep up the theme, or it could be some kind of cats to keep the cat aesthetic.

I also need some fluff between the different "people" (still don't know which noun to use to represent both humans and aliens that isn't "beings" (kinda uncomfortable using that one, since it also encapsulates non inteligent creatures) ) that visit the coffee shop while Ben is working there, like some conversation that he would have with Rook or Gwen, or how he could give some ideas to Cooper over the next technological thing to create/modify, a chat with Kevin about what alien technology he could sell to the civilians that would make him money AND avoid the eye of the Plumbers (and his vigilante persona too if they aren't dangerous)

Would his parents and Max surprise visit him to the coffee shop? I'd imagine that they would, not only to see him but also to have an excuse to give him money in the form of tips without being returen the money XD "You guys just gave me a big ass tip" "Well we just happen to like the service" "I GAVE YOU A GLASS OF WATER" "We REALLY like your service *wink*", meanwhile, Max's watching everything from the table sipping his own extravagant coffee (don't tell me he wouldn't find a way to add some tentacles to his coffee one way or another, forcing Ben to make one that way XD)

Also, what would happen with the love interests that Ben had in the prime dimension? Would he have met any of them in this timeline? How would his relationship with them be? Would any of them come visit him to his job?

Also also, I imagine that Ben would ask grandpa Max any time some of his friends want a tour through the Plumbers HQ to give them all a pass of some kind and do the tour himself (sometimes with his grandpa by his side, sometimes it's Rook, sometimes he's alone, and the best of times he would be with the other Plumber kids going alongside doing lots of pranks at the same time)

I wonder how many charms does Ben have in his home, since some of them are really useful and would help in a lot of things, like I imagine he would use a light charm and reduce his living costs that way, or a heating charm for the same effect.

Finally, I have to say that I love that animation you did of Ben hating early mornings (and if he was out all night and went without sleep, then thank fuck he works at a coffee shop XD), and that tiny detail of him snapping his fingers with both hands, it's just, ugh, I LOVE IT, it reminds me of The Addams Family opening theme. Maybe whenever he does a spell he does that double hand finger snap as a way to focus himself? It'd be a funny easter egg for anyone who would be able to discern it (aka Jimmy, 'cause let's be honest, he would totally find a way to link the double snap with the show somehow, and he would be totally right XD)

Damn dude, I love that whole thing. He would totally choose that name without thinking about it. Nekomata... Rolls off the tongue nicely.

Fluff, eh? People is good enough.

With Gwen, like I said in another post (did I? maybe...) Their conversations would be brief, usually Ben just trying to get a rise out of his cousin to force her into a chat.

Rook is similar, their conversations are brief, but if Ben asks the right questions, serves him a particularly good drink, saves extra amber ogia tarts for him. Rook would be more than happy to indulge. They don't talk about plumbers business, Rook's smart enough to know not to exchange information with a civilian. (Even though Ben probably knows it already.) More, Rook discusses Earth culture with Ben, trying to play catch up with slang, sometimes he'll even indulge some info about his home planet, his friends, family, and girlfriend.

I don't believe Ben and Cooper would talk much, the only reason he's in the cafe is because Manny, Helen, and Alan (if he's not working) forcefully dragged him from the lab, kicking and screaming.

"i'll have an espresso shot. with some honey too... please." Is the only thing he'll before engrossing himself in what tech he managed to bring along.

The one with Kevin is interesting, I do like the idea of Ben tryna push Kevin in the right direction. But Kevins love of tadenite, and the fact he sells weaponry would propbably prevent that.

Instead Ben would try to get as much info from him as possible, subtly giving Kevin a little extra when it comes to info exchange. Kevins lips are sealed. Unless Ben decides to spill some info on Gwen. Kevin plays dumb, but it's easy to spot his interest.

Absolutely, Max, his parents, AND Patelliday all come for visits. At first his parents would be super cautious entering the cafe, they did their best to try to make Ben quit and find a "normal cafe" to work at. They also did their best to convince Ben to move back in. They would deffinitely use any excuse under the sun to tip Ben. They make regular visits on saturdays for morning tea. They don't stick around long though, aliens still spook them a little.

Max and Patellliday - are a unit- would always order a drink together. Max going with the basic Flat White, with some tentacles, of course. Patelliday going for the Boba Fish Tank... they have to restock their gold fish tank every week.

Ben has a good poker face, having to make such a... variety of drinks, and watch how his customer drink/eat. It leaves scars...

Love interests.

Well with Julie, Ben unfortunately never got the confidence to ask her out. But they're really good friends still. (Ben also learned as he got older that not every girl he's friends with wants to date.) Julie comes by the cafe every now and again, always checking if Bens there first before entering, she still managed to get Ship surprisingly, so Ship is always happy to get a pupacino, can't drink it or anything. Just happy to smoosh his face into it.

With Kai, they never had that meeting when they were 10. She comes to Bellwood every now and again, she and Gwen are surprisingly good friends. They clash alot though.

Kai comes by the cafe sometimes too, Ben think she looks nice, but they've had no interactions. (She's not a coffee person, just a water gal.)

Esther, there's no meeting between them, as Ben that is. However, Esther can't deny she feels something towards Nekomata. The guys charming.

I think there's another girl, but I can't remember ;;;

Tour guides? At plumbers HQ? Much as Ben would love to guide his friends around, the amount of jailbreaks that happen there is too many (the plumbers have shit security)... He's not even allowed there most times unless there is someone capable by his side.

More often than not Ben would be disappointed to see one of his regulars, Fist Rick out on the streets the day after he was arrested.

Yes yes yes!! Ben uses a lot of his mana on little things to make his life easier and more convenient. This also comes at the cost of using too much energy, so normally he makes sure to do this when he knows he doesn't have work.

Thank! I work best when I have a visual setting ;; Maybe I should switch careers to be a vis dev.

Also ngl, the whole finger snapping thing, Idk where that came from ;; Could be a cool easter egg thingy

Some days Ben has to be stopped from drinking the coffee. Mr Baumann (yes, he's the head honcho) threatens to send Ben home on those days.

#ben 10 #Lucky boy! au

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rataltouille · 4 years

Text

BONFIRE, BONFIRE!: A COLLECTION OF FLASH FICTION + POETRY

so i’ve decided to compile all twenty [these will be split into two so that the post isn’t super long] of the writing pieces i’ve done for my random celebration into one post so that it’s easier to read / access share!! you can also find it here, all put into one work, on wattpad, because i feel nostalgic about that website and decided to just post it!!

NOTE: i know that this shouldn't need to be said, but these 20 pieces belong to me so please don’t copy/repurpose it for your writing!! i plan on using these somewhere in my own writing and either way they’re stuff i’ve written so don’t use them!!

1. cooking + destructive + purple from @andiwriteunderthemoon [also i kind of cheated with this prompt and asked my sis @dreamscanbenightmarestoo for ideas and so the base idea’s from her!!]

I didn’t mean to set my house on fire, alright?

Let me set the scene: I’m sitting in my room, watching the infomercials that blur together, and suddenly there’s a bright purple flash on the glitching screen: /grapes/. They’re shiny, plump, and oh? A recipe for fine wine? Don’t mind if I do. So I pop into my kitchen and cut the grapes, dice them up, finally using the knife after years of not cooking— /mother, are you proud of me now?/— and stick the soft, luminescent fluid into a glass bottle. Following each step of the recipe.

The recipe didn’t mention an explosion.

Destruction rained around my house like a meteor shower. The bubbles from the fluid, frisking up at contact with metal, swam across my shoes and into the living room. It touched the TV, which still flashed the recipe, which I was still cursing at. And then, you know, it burnt up. The couch scorched first, I think. So that was fun. I later realised that I’d used my reserve of petroleum, which I’d put in my kitchen cabinet, instead of vinegar. I think I’ve got to move back in with my mother again.

2. running + quiet + sky blue from @kryskakikomi [i have no idea what this is i drafted this in a fever dream state]

Summer crawled up his skin like a worm. He was seated at his dining table, crosswording his way through the sticky morning, when it struck him that the humidity was new. He’d been caught in summer before, of course, but this year was different. His parents had whisked away to their hometown, and he still didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to go. He loved their home— he could have been running on beach sand and waves could have cruised over his feet, and his face would reflect sky blue under palm trees. Instead he sat doodling and scratching at cement walls in a quiet that nagged at his ears, grappling his flesh like a fishing hook, reeling him in. Boredom, him sister told him, before she also left for someone’s home. What would you know? he whispered once the door latched from the outside. Maybe /she’d/ like to sit on the same wooden chair, all the pink paint worn out, and scratch out squares of empty text until the pen poked through the other hand. He scoffed. At least he knew the number of scars on the wood; he could hold that over her when his parents returned.

3. hallucinate + hazy + violet from @chloeswords [i wanted to write something dreamy and ethereal but everytime i look at your url i’m reminded of church mud and indirectly my religious trauma so here we are 🤡]

We hold the book in our arms and chant for God. We don’t know what he looks like. They say that he’s sharp, never pixelating or blurring or showing through, like a hazy image would. No, children, our family says, he will come clothed in gold and velvet— the colour a deep and rich crimson, or chartreuse. And of course, he weaves a violet into his hair. Because he is just that humble. Just that gentle. Loving.

We’ve almost understood now. Pray, clasp our palms together into a transient equinox, and pray. Maybe he will shine down on us. Maybe we will speak so loud and chant so long that our lips will chap. Maybe we’ll simply hallucinate him to salve our bones. Our family says, he will bless you. And so he will.

4. halcyon + pluviophile + beige from anon [i was yearning for cats i am a cat person i love cats]

I remember my life before I moved to London,

Those halcyon days that I spent scooping up cat litter and brushing warm fur,

Being a mother to beige and white and black little felines.

They keep better company than humans.

Now I’m a self-proclaimed businesswoman, artist, influencer, pluviophile,

Even when I’ve barely stepped foot outside during the rain,

[But it needs to be said that when it rains in London, it pours].

I think I’d like to open a cat cafe;

I’m rich enough to pull it off.

5. sing + vulnerable + olive green from @occiidens [this was actually super fun to write because it’s a break from the typically unhinged stories i gravitate towards]

You watch from the highest hill of your town, hand wrapped around the serrated wood of a red oak tree. The bark pokes into your flesh, drawing blood that shouldn’t have been taken from you. You scowl. Just another thing that lives to cause you pain.

Three storeys down is a young man, short and smiling and lovely. He has dark skin and darker hair, walking with the stride of a deer, and he’s smiling; the joy reflects onto your face, even though you can’t hear him. He wears a cotton shirt, the olive green stark against the fire-blue sky. You call out, sing his name, three times in a row.

When he finally looks up, squinting as you silhouette under the sun, the smile widens. A wave. You’re suddenly overcome with embarrassment. Your palm digs into the bark until the wound is freshly dug again, the skin supple and vulnerable. You want to wave, but your hands would look so awkward, and the blood wouldn't help. So you turn on your heel and run— why are you so awkward?— and the grass around you is brighter. This is now a tomorrow issue, you conclude. You’re still smiling.

6. dislocate + ostentatious + blood red from @oasis-of-you [this got really unhinged really fast. TW: body horror]

If you take a turn at Finn Avenue,

Rogue your way down a blood red river,

[It’s not actual blood, do not worry. The colour’s a pigment and it’s saturated enough to give you the texture, the touch, the taste of blood, but I repeat, it isn’t true blood. You might think that it’s ostentatious of us to make you cross a river like that, but you’ll understand why.]

And if can stick your fingers inside the fluid,

You’ll find a bone.

Don’t pull it out fully! Only observe.

[This is a real bone, most likely animal. We may be ominous, but we don’t hurt humans. Not yet.]

So what do you do now? You want passage into a better world.

You came here because you saw the brochure, the flyer,

Radiant Idyll, home for love, but you also saw the jutting anatomy that leads to the city. The pictures were rather clear.

Why do you look so surprised? We’ve put this on the brochure— don’t you ever read the fine print?— to avoid this exact situation. That you would cross a body, a skeleton, pooled over in a fluid that we don’t name, but it’s probably alive.

It’s watching you right now.

So what do you do now?

Hurry up, unhinge your arm, dislocate the elbow, drop it into the blood, forgive me, false blood, and pay for your passage.

Oh! Excellent; that’s record time. We do hope you enjoy your stay!

1. @noteaboy [i’ve interpreted your url as ”note, a boy”]

There’s an orange tree. It’s spring, and there’s an orange tree, and it brims with fruit and citrus perfume. Point your lens flare downwards, and note, a boy. A young man, perhaps, because he combs his hair, uptight and firm, and he wears a tie. A long suit. He doesn’t look up, because his hand holds a book. /He/ holds the book, not the hands— tenderness doesn’t translate through anatomy, I’ve taught you this before. He’s waiting for someone. There’s only the rustle of leaves. He drops the book onto the lap of the tree, crushing the apple that had fallen down. Orange, not apple. Take note better. You only have one chance to get this right.

2. @eatingjupiter [your url is so beautiful omg]

The goddess had said this before she died: you need to watch over him. He needs your sentry to survive. The goddess’ words weren’t heeded. Little baby Jupiter tottered on lava as him parents small-talked with their kingdom. Well, it must have been small talk, because nothing seemed to happen afterwards other than his mother’s face collapsing in agony, anger, annoyance. He knew not to touch them then. He’d fly off into the sun one day, but if his hands were but and charred, he wouldn’t survive even a third of the journey.

The prophecy was simple: the firstborn to the kingdom will metamorph into a celestial, purify themselves so that only stardust remains. Live in the sky forever. The astrologers were baffled; you don’t just become a star. They should have heeded the goddess.

Jupiter was sixteen when he expanded and collapsed all at once. He still lives, they say, and the astrologers /were/ right, in a way: people just don’t become stars. They become almost empty space. Nobody knows if his hands were burnt when they left earth’s orbit forever.

3. @laughtracksonata [your name gave me slight horror vibes idk why!!]

Hahaha. The Horror Movie (don’t ask me for a name, I’m not good with those), with its cymbal crashing and plastic sounds, it’s so loud and scary that it hurts, father. Please turn it off.

Father doesn't listen. I shiver on the couch. The screen flickers like radio static and reflects off our wide eyes. What kind of a home is this anyway? I don’t want to fucking listen to a laugh track or a horror VHS tape or watch the bass crescendo as the serial killer jumpscares the watcher. I don’t think that having hour pupils glued to the same blood-splattered movie, with the same recording looping in his eardrums will help him. He laughs along, sometimes. It’s scary. Father needs a new hobby.

PART TWO COMING SOON!!

anyway this got REALLY long so i’m posting the third prompt group, the one based on songs, as a second part in some time. i hope you enjoy this, and PLEASE do boost!! i spent a lot of time writing these pieces and am pretty proud of them :’)

general taglist: @lovingyou-is @guulabjamuns @andiwriteunderthemoon @coffeeandcalligraphy @melonmilk @silentlylostwriter @charles-joseph-writes @eklavvya @eowynandfaramir @bitterwitchwrites @laughtracksonata @whatwordsdidnttouch @indeliblewrites @thenataliawrites @summersguilt @illimani-gibberish @sarahkelsiwrites @writing-in-delirium @shaelinwrites @sienna-writes @chewingthescenery @jennawritesstories @chloeswords @aelenko @keira-is-writing @cherylinanika @infinitely-empty-pages @jmtwrites @august-iswriting @freedelusionbanana @beetleblue88 @mistercaleb @iwannawritepls @hanwatchingmovies @mortallynuttyqueen @idratherliveinnarnia @maisulli @thegreyboywrites @ahowlinwolf @ravens-and-rivers @oasis-of-you @yanittawrites @chazza-writes-sometimes @skyfirewrites @lovebenders @treybriggsthewriter @themidnxghtwriter @ash-karter @queen-devasena @a-procrastination-addict @gaymityblight @beyondthebracken @madmaxst26 @adielwrites @moonpixxel @hollow-knight-dnd @keep-looking-here @overlap @ashleygarciawrites @ryns-ramblings @wordsbynathan @novaemlynlewis @sophiewritingstuff @howdy-writes @occiidens @nsanelyawkward @viawrites-andacts

#writeblr #am writing #flash fiction #poetry #wtwcommunity #ofcolourtracking #crabappletracking #anyway part two probably in a couple days #i still have to start writing them 🤡✌️#bonfire bonfire

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shattered-catalyst · 3 years

Text

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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ikeromantic · 4 years

Note

Ikemen vampire theo x mc where theo and MC become parents and theo has to take care of the baby for a day by himself? LOL if it’s to hard u don’t gotta do it idk if I requested this before lol

Day 26 of Ikemektober!

I haven’t read all of Theo’s route yet, so I don’t know how accurate to character this is - but I hope you enjoy ^_^ Approx. 1800 words of baby filled fluffiness for the ask.

Theo snuggled to his precious hondje despite the insistent sunlight streaming in the windows. She was soft and warm, and it felt good to have her nestled against his chest. If fate allowed, he might have stayed right where he was until Sebas announced lunch. But late morning weren’t for parents.

As if on cue, the twins began to cry. Anna was breathy and quiet, but her sister Akari made up for that in spades. Her cry was demanding and loud, and there was no way to ignore it. Not even for five more minutes in bed with his lovely wife.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Oh - oh, my babies. I’m coming, coming . . .”

Theodorus watched her stumbled from the room, half asleep. She was exhausted since they’d had the twins. It was a lot of work, even with helpful uncles in the manor.

He watched her shuffle back from the nursery, a baby in each arm. They had their mother’s dark, straight hair and their daddy’s big blue eyes. A deadly combination. Theo scooped Akari up and bounced her in his arms. She stopped crying as soon as he held her.

“Ah, papa has the magic touch, hm?” His wife smiled at him. “I don’t think they’re even hungry. They just wanted company.” Anna was settled too, happy to be held. The four of them ended up laid out in bed, the two babies in the middle with their mom and dad on the sides.

Hondje was falling asleep already, with long, slow blinks. Theo felt bad for her shouldering so much of the work with the babies. He wanted to help out - he just wasn’t sure what one did with a baby. They were terribly fragile things.

As if to illustrate his point, Akari wrapped her tiny hand around his finger and started chewing on it. Her mouth was small and pink and it tickled a little.

“Trying to eat me up, eh?” He laughed quietly. Maybe he could try to give his beauty a break today. Let her sleep in, take a long hot bath, eat pancakes in blessed silence . . . all things neither of them had done since the babies were born.

All he had to do was take care of these two feisty little ones for a few hours. Surely . . . surely that couldn’t be too hard.

Theo slipped out of bed, silent as a cat. He carefully lifted Anna and Akari and took them for a chat with Vincent.

“So what I want to do is take care of them all today - but, what do you do with a baby, broer?”

Vincent tickled Anna’s tummy, fascinated by her smiles. He didn’t look up as he replied. “Well, if you want her to have peace and quiet, you should take them out someplace.”

“Like a gallery or a cafe?” Theo tried to imagine it. All he could picture was Akari and Anna trying to eat random items and crying a lot.

“No. Someplace they can just . . . be babies. Maybe take them for a picnic?” Vincent finally looked up.

“A baby picnic? I guess that could work.” They would stay on the blanket, safe and sound, and well out of their mother’s hair.

“Perfect. Why don’t you get them dressed and I’ll meet you out front with some picnic supplies.” Vincent smiled widely.

“Are you coming with us?”

“Of course! I can’t miss a chance to dote on my sweet nieces.”

Theo carried the babies out. At eight months, they were getting a little heavy but they were still too small to walk. He didn’t mind the weight but he wished they wouldn’t wiggle a kick so much.

It took Theodorus almost an hour to get the little ones bundled up for an autumn day. Long sleeve dresses and little warm leggings courtesy many shopping trips with Comte, mittens and boots from Arthur and Dazai, and a red scarf for Akari, and a yellow one for Anna. He topped it off with little knit caps shaped like an apple and a pumpkin. The hats and scarves were handmade by Sebas. He’d taken to knitting cute accessories for the girls in his spare time, and seemed to really enjoy seeing the twins wear his creations.

“Why do my babies look like they’re part of a harvest festival?”

Theo turned to see his beauty in the doorway, making puppy eyes at him. “Mijn knabbel, I was going to surprise you with a day to yourself.” He felt ridiculous having to tell her about it. Couldn’t she see what he was doing?

She crossed the room and put a kiss on his cheek before he could say anything else. “Thank you, love.”

The look in her eye made him go warm inside, like a summer breeze. It reminded him of all the reasons he loved her. “Just go back to bed, hondje. You look tired.”

“Mmm, I will. I want to be rested up when you get back.”

“Oh?” And now Theo knew he had something to look forward to. He gave her a quick goodbye kiss and took the squirming babies to the front entry.

Vincent was waiting for him with a double carriage for the babies and a big basket of goodies. He also had a blanket for the ground, a spare one for the babies in case they were cold. “Are you ready to go?”

“I think so. They’re dressed and wiggly.” Theo laughed, setting the babies in the carriage. He looked at the basket on his brother’s arm. “Did you bring something for them to eat?”

“I did. Sebas made up a special pancake and berry blend and put it in little jars. They will love it.” Vincent grinned. “I’m hoping to sketch them today. They are almost a year old and I haven’t managed to get a single good painting of either of them.”

“They move too much.” Theo gave the babies a mock stern look. “You have to hold still for mijn broer when he’s painting you.”

Anna and Akari gurgled at him in response, completely unrepentant.

The brothers took the babies out to Vincent’s favorite flower meadow. They laid the blanket under a tree and set the babies down on it. Anna sat where her papa put her, but Akari pushed herself up on all-fours and wobbled toward a pile of fallen leaves.

Theo scooped her up just before she got there. “Think you can escape little one?”

She started to cry, an angry, helpless sound.

Vincent put his hands to his ears. “Can’t you let her play in the leaves? It wouldn’t hurt anything. We used to play in leaf piles all the time.”

“Yes but -” Theo wasn’t sure how to put it into words. It was different when it was your baby. You worried more. About all kinds of things. Still, his brother was probably right.

“Ok, ok,” he told Akari, and set her down on the blanket. She immediately stopped crying and went for the leaves again. “Just don’t eat them - please?”

Vincent laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you plead like that. Being a father has changed you.”

Theo shrugged. His brother was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. The two of them watched the babies crawl over and under the leaves, picking up the bright red and yellow ones to stare at them in wonder. And occasionally gnaw at them with their little slobbery mouths.

Gloves, hats, scarves, and booties disappeared through playtime, replaced by dirt and dead leaves. A different sort of fall costume, Theo mused.

Vincent managed a few quick sketches, but the girls made it hard to catch them in any pose. They had so much energy and everything fascinated them.

Eventually they got tired and let their papa and uncle feed them. Then promptly fell asleep in the baby carriage.

“I guess that’s our cue to head home,” Vincent sighed.

Theo nodded and stood up to gather the scattered picnic items. He found the two hats, and the mittens and boots, but the scarves were gone. He tore through the leaf pile and checked under the picnic blanket. They weren’t there. Or in the baby carriage. Or in the basket.

“What’s wrong,” Vincent asked. “Did you drop something?”

“No. Godverdomme. I can’t find the girls’ scarves. They have to be here someplace.”

“The ones Sebas just gave them to wear for winter?”

“Yes, those.” He shot his brother a look of annoyance that faded the second it landed. It was impossible to be annoyed with Vincent. “Can you help me look for them?”

“I will. I’d hate to see Sebastian’s face if we had to tell him we lost them.”

“Thanks, broer. Helpful.”

“Don’t worry Theo. We’ll find them.” Vincent gave his angelic smile and the two of them tore through the picnic site again. Still no scarves.

Theo knew they needed to get back soon, but he didn’t want to give up. That just wasn’t his style. “Did you check the grass, Vince?”

“Yes, and I went through the leaf pile again. Lots of red and yellow, nothing knit.”

“And the picnic basket?”

Vincent sighed. “We both looked through it. Unless Akari and Anna managed to stick them in the jam jars, the scarves aren’t in there either.”

Theo popped open the basket and checked the jam jars just in case. With the babies, you could never be sure.

“I think we’ll just have to admit we lost them, Theo. I’m sure Sebas will be alright. The twins got to where them out once at least.”

“Yeah.” Theodorus felt a sudden wave of exhaustion. It had been a very nice day but the ending spoilt it all.

He and Vincent pushed the baby carriage back to the manor in low spirits. Anna and Akari slept through the whole drama, unaware of the importance of their missing scarves.

Sebastian met them at the door, all smiles. “Did you have a nice day out? Did the girls like their pancakes?” He leaned down to look at the snoozing pups. His smile faltered. “Ah, still not cold enough weather for a scarf?”

Vincent looked over at Theo.

It would be easy to lie right now. Say that’s right, and then the scarves could go missing without it being his fault. But Theodorus wasn’t one to shirk responsibility. Sometimes you had to man up. Admit your faults. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, as he considered how best to break the news.

His fingers brushed something wooly and soft. His eyes widened.

“What is it, broer?”

Theo tugged the soft fluff from his pocket. A scarf. Yellow. And in the other pocket, one red. He grinned at Sebas. “Nah, they took them off while they were playing. I stuck them in my pockets for safe keeping.”

Vincent laughed, relieved. “I wish you could have seen them, Sebastian. They were so cute.”

Sebas smiled. “Well, I’ll have to wait for your next outing.” He gestured upstairs. “I believe your lady is waiting for you?”

Theo grinned.

Vincent nudged his arm. “Don’t worry, Sebas and I will babysit the rest of tonight.”

He didn’t need anymore encouragement. He bounded upstairs, eager to show the mother of his children how much he appreciated her.

#ikemektober #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp van gogh #ikevamp parent #fluff #fanfiction #fanfic

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neocityarchive · 4 years

Text

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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