#Literally mentally tho

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Im so tired

#Literally mentally tho #And emotionally #Just so drained #Idk if this is an adhd thing or an autism thing or a depression thing #Or just a me thing #And it could be related to a jaw condition i very l Iikely have (tmj) #But im just so tired #Its probably a combination #Idk #But I just #Cant #Like why tho #Im just so exhausted #But yeah that's fun #And part of this exhaustion is the fun side affect if having no filter and saying dumb stuff #Yay ig

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[jellyfisharesatan]

The foxes are maybe the most interesting iteration of the found family trope I've ever seen. They love each other. They hate each other. They spend half their time fighting. They literally hide behind each other when threatened. They call each other slurs. They're all gay and date each other. They're mentally ill and traumatised. They're so problematic it's ridiculous. Canonically three of them are murderers. They have a massive sleepover where they all snuggle together .Some of them have about two lines of dialogue together. What the fuck

#tfc #aftg #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #fr tho like #im reading fics rn and they range from #“these people are codependent due to mutual levels of trauma and mental issues” #to “these people were briefly on a sports team together and a few stayed friends and got married but most of them barely interact” #and its all perfectly reasonable #you can literally write them any way and it fits

[thatgecko0606]

Some Stardew fans when they marry the recovering alcoholic just to find out, he’s actually recovering alcoholic 

#stardew valley #i love stardew valley #stardew shane #sdv shane #he’s my husband #i like older men #literally tho #y’all don’t even know #why would you marry a recovering alcoholic if you didn’t wanna deal with the fact he was a recovering alcoholic? #He’s mentally ill! #what is wrong with people

[r-aindr0p]

Eyy Merry christmas ’n happy holidays to everyone ✨✨

The social battery is being drained from all the festivities and gatherings, most introverts are on the floor rn

Shitpost aside I wanted to say I’ll be more active again once the celebrations and new year are done ! I don’t always answer to comments or tags because I’m a bit awkward whenever I try to interact but I’m thankful for all the nice words I’ve read and I’m happy that what I draw is appreciated ! I hope I’ll be able to draw even more things next year whether it’s fanart or original stuff !

#twisted wonderland #twst shitpost #twst yuu #idia shroud #rook hunt #left yuu and idia in their sketch state because it does match their mental state atm #same tho I don’t want to eat for hours at the table I want to stay in my room and draw hhehfhdh #drawing ideas coming by swarms when you literally cannot draw aaaaaaaaaa

[hyunpic]

goodnight, sleep well, i said sleep well, just go to sleep you have to wake up soon, goodnight. you still aren’t sleeping? no, but it was a bit noisy earlier, so i turned off the music and also the air purifier. i did great, right? anyway, go to sleep right now. goodnight. thank you for loving me again, today. heum heum, anyway sleep well! and sweet dreams! [translated by 0325bubble]

#hyunjin #🧼 #he’s so cutieeeeee 😔☹️😔 love u the mostest… #even tho i literally got jumpscared by one of the goodnight whispers #cause i was at the balcony in the pitch black darkness and #the leaves were making this whispering sound in the wind that got me a bit spooked out #and then i played his voice message so loudly i actually jumped 😭😭😭 #anyway… mentally putting a warm blanket on him and manifesting all the nicest dreams for him

[mazzystar24]

Am I the only one who low-key loved that they showed:

1. Lucy’s anxiety induced blabber and Tim’s 😳 in the background - because I feel like while ppl were being like “oh that rant was so annoying and over the top” but in reality that rant is literally so accurate as a stream of thought of anxiety and overthinking , not only that I think the fact that this rant was included is so telling of their relationship because as someone with anxiety I can confirm that those types of thoughts STAY inside thoughts unless we are super comfortable with the person because WE ARE AWARE HOW UNHINGED AND IRRATIONAL WE SOUND

2. The chenford fight- when you have two mentally ill people in a relationship spoiler alert they will sometimes say shit they don’t mean and will sometimes screw up AND THATS OKAY AND REALISTIC like any mentally ill person will tell you that when they are spiralling, almost always they will unintentionally take it out on the person closest to them or who is supporting them the most and that’s not because they actually want to it’s more so that their brain subconsciously knows that that’s a safe target that they can be a bit of a screw up with them and they won’t stop loving them, this is literally the most common example of displacement (trust me I’m a psych student🤓,jk jk fr tho this is an actual thing)

Like when I heard initially that chenford would have issues this season I was so worried the writers would pull that old cliche of making stupid out of character drama that made no sense and felt inorganic but THIS this is so good to see how anxiety can affect a relationship and eventually how they get over that obstacle and it came out in a way that felt very realistic and in character

#chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie #the lucy haters are just a bunch of mentally well adjusted people who haven’t had or dated someone with anxiety #Lucky bastards😔 #but alas the girlies who get it FELT THIS EPISODE SM #like I said this on someone’s post already but like the girlies with anxiety have all been Lucy in one situation or another #so we completely see both sides and understand how real this is to have as a relationship obstacle #like seriously tho this wasn’t exaggerated or like stupid it was just how anxiety is and yes it’s irrational and bad but guess what #THATS LITERALLY WHAT ANXIETY IS #like it wouldn’t be anxiety if it was nice and rational and calm #anyways as others said go stream afterglow

[tallymali]

im gonna assume that a common experience of adults who were once traumatised children is when ur having a conversation and mention some random childhood memory and suddenly the other person is like 😦 and starts acting like u need to be comforted and its just like. i have made a grave mistake by mentioning my average thursday in 2009

#or they think ur some kind of creepy weirdo #ive literally had asks here that have been like ‘um dont you think its weird to bring that up?’ #i thought that shit was normal!!!! sorry for being weird on the mental illness website tho!!!!!

[lobotomizedlady]

I was reading some aspiring authors personal excerpt about how furious she is with the pervasiveness of misogyny in society & mens refusal to take it seriously, & it resonated so I was considering giving her book a try for a minute but then I get to the end of the post and the fucking tags are like "reminder that I am non-binary and use they/them pronouns so don't get weird in the replies"...I just can't deal with these people they're like a bad joke that came to life and gained (partial) sentience

#how can you be that aware of sexism & how it affects you personally & then still go ''not a woman tho lol!'' #be so real do you think men will stop being sexist towards you once you give them your pronouns #you think youre unique for not liking the role they cast you in? most of us dont join the fucking club #the seven layers of cognitive dissonence clouding your view of yourself on such a fundamentally basic level when #your entire job is dependant on being insightful about these things. #as a writer/poet who is very selfward facing the way her stuff was the ONLY way to be great is to be brutally honest about yourself #like dig deep go to places you dont want to go make yourself uncomfortable & give yourself a mental breakdown levels of self psychoanalyzin #this is what she should be doing. and homegirl cant even admit shes a fucking WOMAN #like its funny honestly but also quite sad. gender ideology is literally melting the minds of the masses

[bonefall]

Do Clerics have like. Doctor-patient confidentiality in general?

[Shrek meme: "They don't even have HIPAA"]

Nope. ZERO protections babey, the Cleric is a tiny Pope without a funny hat. They can do whatever they want unless the OTHER unaccountable religious cult leader decides to do something about it.

Cats like Featherwhisker, Spottedleaf, Runningnose, and Jayfeather are hit with realizations about this. For a few simple restrictions... you have nearly unquestionable power. You answer directly to StarClan. The amount of influence you have over a Clan is actually kind of insane.

The "Leader's Rights" and "Cleric's Vow" commandments were attempts to reign in the power of Clerics, with a lot of collateral damage. The Cleric is only overruled by the direct command of a leader, which means that the Cleric can ALWAYS act first unless the Leader pre-empts them.

Pearstar was a Cleric who violently overthrew Morningstar, before the invention of the Leader's Rights. The Leader's Rights were created in response to Larkstripe's Cleric Strike.

#did you know hipaa didn't exist until 1996 #Your doctor could literally just phone your boss and blabber about your mental health disorder #It's so universal NOW that it's easy to forget this was not a value historically #But yeah no I chose the word CLERIC for a reason. They really are like high-ranking members of the clergy #I once half-jokingly referred to Fire as the Thunderpope and like... that's accurate. #Clan Culture #Queen's Rights #Better bones au #Also btw I'm thinking about giving Clerics a staff for smacking things with #Allow them to be the ONLY cats in a Clan who are allowed to regularly use weaponry #And also because Cinderpelt deserves it. I want to see her spear something to death tbh #Me when a girlie is on screen: ``What if she was armed tho.``

[phatcatphergus]

People talking about how purgatory effected them makes me think this is just a psychological experiment

#like last purgatory people were having mental breakdowns and not being able to separate it from reality #tubbo having nightmares and Tina almost killing foolish #and then this event with all the new people and the literal trauma bonding that goose went through #this is just breaking down peoples mental state 😭 #love watching it tho #qpurgatory 2 #qsmp purgatory #qsmp

[bubblesxo]

I’m sorry but the flat way that the fandom tackles the Enji Todoroki problem is so blegh. Yes, how he treated them (especially Shouto—we don’t 100% know if Touya’s training was the same, especially because he actually liked his training) was wrong, the way he treated his wife was wrong, the way he ignored his other kids is wrong. HOWEVER, him cutting Touya off from training was NOT 100% wrong. Should he have treated it more delicately? Yes. Should he have been more considerate to his kid? Yes. Should he have gotten him some kind of therapy to help him cope with his obvious mental issues? Also yes. But cutting him off from training when he gets hurt doing so and it’s unavoidable is NOT wrong. He was trying to prevent exactly what happened in the end. Maybe he could have revisited it a few years later when training isn’t all Touya is and looked into support items, idk, but Enji’s approach was the right decision in the wrong way.

#really Touya had some mental issues that couldn’t have just been from enji #because looking at it he wasn’t as bad on screen to Touya as he was to shouto #I feel like no one talks about that #shouto’s trauma kinda gets overlooked because he was strong enough to overcome it #but it was still there and erasing it erases his whole character arc #and really in the end touya did bad things. he became a villain. he killed people #despite the whole ‘touya died dabi was born’ thing they had going on (which was NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY #ITS A LITERARY ELEMENT THAT EXPRESSES FIGURATIVE REBIRTH) people in this fandom oh so love to disconnect touya from dabi #they are the SAME PERSON #touya tried to KILL shouto when he was a baby #he has had VERY deep-seated issues for a very long time #and honestly I think he was born with it #and the environment he grew up in made it worse #that’s just my two cents tho #shouto todoroki #touya todoroki #dabi todoroki #dabi #mha dabi #mha #bnha #enji todoroki #todoroki #todoroki family

[itsyouch]

no because I regret EVEN saying that I hate tex as a joke. This scene hurt man....

#rvb church #rvb tex #tex rvb #church rvb #red vs blue tex #tex red vs blue #red vs blue church #i actually cant #I'm so sad I don't even want to continue watching rvb #I actually think its effecting my mental health #I love Tex Church Caboose Sarge Simmons Griff Lopez Dounut and Tucker etc sm #i'm sad #Even tho Church let her go I can't :[ #I sound to emo rn #I'm really surprised that rvb made me cry this much #lol #Haha I'm not doing well #:'] #I'll probably draw the text later cuz rn my head if foggy and I literally feel so numb lol #thats crazy I REALLY didn't expect to get this effected by this show so bad #i love them so bad #And I love rvb #I dont even have enough energy to hate agent Wash #rvb #red vs blue

[bestial4ngel]

… bad fucking sign that I’m already crying this hard over the first episode like “as long as you walk the earth I’ll never taste the fire” and “if you were the last vampire on earth it would be enough” … ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME??!

#literally sobbed at that first one about fire I’m gonna die watching this show I it’s literally digging my grave as we speak #gonna be sobbing and mentally cradling louis like in ivan the terrible and his son ivan by the end of this #and/or claudia :( #iwtv s2 #amc iwtv #iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #rip the fans that never read the book tho yall r gonna have it so much worse probably

[blinkpen]

there is a certain type of man who seems to live under the unfathomably terrified delusion that at any moment aliens might teleport him into a pocket dimension where he will be forced to have sex with every female cartoon character who has ever existed, in order, and so it is critical that every single one of them always be At Least This Fuckable to Him Personally

this man type is very annoying, and loud, but best you can do is just ignore them

#sporadic warbling #if he is complaining a character who is a literal god damn child not being appealing enough tho #dont ignore you take a mental note and you consciously remember to trust that one even less #yes this is about people being racist and gross as hell about mutant mayhem april