#Liquid iv side effects | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hollowdeath · 3 months

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Okay I was thinking of writing this myself but like Harry and his crush (who's a talented Potions witch) brews up an aphrodisiac potion into the form of a vapor (inhaled through like an atomizer) and she wants to test it with her best friend (crush lmao) Harry. Idea is a WIP but if you could use it for a smut piece I wouldn't complain 🫣🫣 LOVE YOUR WORK OMFG

Thank you loveee! ❤️

AAAAA thank you for requesting this!!! ive been wanting to write something like this for a while so you gave me the perfect excuse to try it out :D you're the best!

pairing: harry james potter x fem!reader (18+)

summary: you and harry have been working on a project involving amortentia, the most powerful love potion to exist, and when harry tests your device the night before it's due, he has some rather intense side effects.

cw: smut!!! dom!harry, fingering, penetration, breeding

word count: 6k

you and harry had spent the entire semester working together on a project that challenged you to create a new form of an old potion. rather than settling for the obvious ideas like turning felix felicis into gummy candies, you and harry had decided to try something a bit more complex.

you knew right away you wanted to work with amortentia more closely, as you had always been fascinated by the potion and its powerful properties, and harry was more than willing to let you take the reins of the project. he gave insight when he could, and spent a fair amount of time helping you figure out the more complicated steps of the process, but he honestly just loved sitting back and watching you work your magic. literally.

you were by far the most knowledgeable student when it came to potions, and undoubtedly one of the smartest witches harry had ever met. he considered himself lucky that you two had already formed a friendship prior to taking potions together, allowing him to pair up with the most sought after partner in the entire class. more than just your knowledge and skill, harry was just excited to be your partner so he could know you better and see how your mind works.

you were excited to work with harry as well, but not to collaborate on potions and fiddle with mechanics you could never understand. you had looked forward to sitting close to him, reading from the same books, talking for hours, and watching his eyes intently focus as he prepared the ingredients for you. of course you two were friends more than anything, and you never considered yourself one of those girls who would fawn over harry for doing absolutely nothing, but working with him so intimately for the entire semester really made you see him differently. he was funny, he was smart, he remembered every little thing about you, and he always brought you snacks when you were working together. it didn't help that you found him absolutely adorable in big sweaters with messy hair, or felt your heart race when he looked at you from over his glasses, or couldn't keep your eyes off his hands when he was helping you put together your atomizer.

speaking of, your project had actually turned out extremely well for the little experience either of you had in engineering such a device. it was a small, handheld diffuser that transformed liquid amortentia, as well as a mix of other potent aphrodisiacs, into a vapor that could be inhaled for the full effect. harry had actually been the one to suggest the idea, trying to figure out a better way to ingest the mixture while still altering its state. you thought it was brilliant, and were surprised at how smooth the process turned out to be.

however, the presentation for the project was tomorrow morning, and you were still fiddling with a few of the mechanics to get it to work just right. it was hard to know when it was fully finished since testing the product wasn't exactly practical, as the effects would have anyone distracted and unable to focus within seconds of inhaling it. you were a bit frustrated sitting alone at your table in the potions lab, a single light above you as the sun had long since set and night took over. your head was in your hands, staring at the atomizer in front of you, wondering if you should just take the chance and test it since you were alone in the classroom.

just as you were convincing yourself, you heard the door creak open to your right, causing you to jump in your seat. you couldn't make out who was there ar first as your eyes were still adjusting to the dark room around you. you hadn't expected anyone to come in anyway, mostly because it was past curfew and, frankly, who would want to spend their time in the potions lab on a sunday evening?

but, as the figure walked closer to you, you noticed it was harry dressed in pajama pants and a sweatshirt with his slippers scraping across the wooden floors. "harry," you breathed a sigh of relief, your hand resting on your chest. "you scared the piss out of me." you say with a laugh.

harry chuckles, and you notice he's carrying his invisibility robe in one hand, half of his arm disappearing beneath it. "sorry, figured there'd be no one in here," he says with a sleepy voice, setting the robe over his own chair, making it disappear as well.

you sigh, setting your head back in your hands and leaning your elbows on the table. "it's okay, i probably shouldn't be here anyways. this thing has me seeing red, and not in a good way." you complain. harry laughs again, making his way next to you and under the light. your stomach drops at how soft he looks, his hair messy, cheeks flushed, deep voice quietly chuckling as he leans on the table beside you.

"yeah, well, i couldn't sleep knowing it wasn't perfect as well," harry tells you, his eyes fixated on the device. "not that slughorn would notice either way, but…" he trails off, making you crack a smile and chuckle as well.

harry looks down at you, his glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose. "i just know how much it means to you." he says.

you feel yourself blushing and quickly begin changing the subject. "w-well, i think i've got it most of the way there, it's just, um…" you say nervously, picking up the cylindrical vaporizer and examining it in your hands once again.

"just…?" harry provokes.

you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head as you pass the device back and forth between your hands. "just…that, um, it still needs to be tested, i guess, to see the full effects, y'know?" you try to explain without stumbling over your thoughts.

harry understands what you mean and nods his head slowly. "oh, right…" he says a bit nervously as well, pushing himself off the table to stand up straight and clear his throat.

an awkward silence hangs in the air for a moment as you continue to roll the vaporizer between your fingers. "yeah…" you trail off once again.

harry nervously chuckles, breaking the silence and making you laugh at the sudden tension. "well, then, hand it over i guess." harry casually requests, holding his hand out to you.

you look up at harry in confusion, your eyebrows pinched together as you examine his lighthearted expression. "harry," you try to find your words, feeling yourself still blushing under his gaze. "are you mad? you can't just test this out randomly." you try to explain to him.

harry shakes his head, his own eyebrows pinching together as he lets out an amused laugh. "why not? it can't be that strong," he shrugs.

you give harry another incredulous look, utterly confused at his nonchalant attitude. "are you kidding? this potion is composed of some of the most potent aphrodisiacs in the world, and inhaling them should only intensify the effects…theoretically," you add the last part in a hopeful tone, turning your attention back to the device in your hands.

harry just extends his hand out further, nearly touching yours. "well, we'll never know if we don't test it, now will we?" he asks with a smirk. you hesitate for another moment, still looking down at your hands. of course you were insanely curious about the effects of the project you spent weeks sweating over, and certainly would feel better knowing it actually works as intended before having to present it to the class tomorrow. but you were worried it could affect harry negatively, or that he could have a bad reaction to it, and you weren't sure if you could take that risk.

"just trust me, [y/n]. i can handle it." harry reassures you once more, his voice warm and familiar.

you sigh, carefully handing over the device to harry and leaning back in your chair. he smiles at you, taking one more look at the design of the vaporizer in his hands before bringing the mouthpiece up to his lips and inhaling the mixture. harry holds his breath for a moment before blowing out the vapor slowly, the clouds surrounding him under the dim lighting in a way that makes your heart stop. he looks ethereal with the billowing vapor coming from his lips and nostrils, a soft smile pinching his cheeks.

"tastes amazing," harry observes, taking another look at the design as the vapor fades into the air.

you wait for a few seconds, looking for any sign of behavioral changes in harry as he continues to rotate the device in his fingers. "well?" you ask in a hopeful tone.

harry looks down at you, and for a split second, you swear his pupils expand to the size of his iris before shrinking back to their normal size, blinking rapidly as they do. harry sets the device down and looks away from you, his neck jerking to the side and his knuckles clenching.

"harry?" you ask, concerned, standing from your seat and reaching for harry's shoulder. before you can touch him he jerks away, making a frustrated groaning sound as he did. you're still concerned, but mostly confused as harry's hands reach for the edge of the table and grip it so hard his veins are pulsing. his breathing is ragged and heavy, nearly growling as he tries to steady it. you're momentarily distracted before harry attempts to speak to you.

"it works," he barks out, his voice strained and impatient. you're taken aback at his aggressive change in tone. "what?" you ask again, trying again to reach for his shoulder. "harry, are you okay?"

just as you make contact with his sweatshirt, harry's legs go limp beneath him as he sinks to his knees. his breathing gets heavier as he lets out a pained groan, trying his best to stand up and let go of the table for support. "just," he says between panting breaths. "i have to go," he abruptly turns and tries to leave, his hands grabbing at his hair and face as he stumbles away.

"harry," you call after him. "what's happening? are you okay? is it hurting you?" you try to get some insight on what harry's experiencing, but he keeps shaking his head as he tries to make his way to the door.

"harry!" you finally snap, stepping away from the table. harry stops in his tracks. "our presentation is in 6 hours and you said you could handle the effects. now, i need to know what they are or else i'm testing it out myself." you demand angrily, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

harry turns to you but doesn't dare look at you, his body hunched over as if he's in pain. his hands are still rubbing at his eyes and he seems to be wiping away sweat on his forehead every other second.

"look, [y/n]," harry snaps back. you're again taken aback by his tone; you've never heard his voice so dark and foreboding before, and the sound of him practically growling your name has your mind racing. "i told you it works, okay? isn't that what you wanted?" his words are rushed, as if he's still trying to leave when you have so many questions that need answered.

"i need to know specifics, harry. what does it feel like? was there any physical response? how strong is it? i mean, you really can't let me ask a few questions about something we've been working on for weeks?" you ask.

harry frustratedly walks towards you, his wide strides making you step back towards the table in anticipation. his fists are balled at his sides, his eyes still pointed at the ground. "you wanna know what it feels like?" his voice bellows in the empty classroom, causing you to jump and gasp. you didn't want any prefects to hear you two in the lab and then have to explain why harry was in such a state.

harry comes closer to you, backing you against the table as his eyes stay fixed downward. "you wanna know how i feel, [y/n]?" he asks again, his voice less angry and more impatient, feeling his hot breath fall across your skin. again, hearing him spit your name at you so aggressively only made your mind race faster. you could hardly speak, so you just nodded your head anxiously, still attempting to put more space between you and harry.

for a while only harry's heavy breathing fills the room. you can see his hands still clenched at his sides, nearly shaking from the amount of pressure they're under. just as you're about to turn your head away from the tense moment, harry's eyes meet yours. you gasp again, this time at just how dark they had become since first looking away from you.

harry smirks evilly at your shock, his hands quickly grasping the edge of the table behind you, bringing his body even closer to yours. you were feeling such a rush of every emotion possible it was hard to tell what exactly you were feeling; all you knew is you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs despite fear making your heart race.

"i feel like i could tear you apart." harry's words drip with venom, his body leaning further into yours. you let out a shaky breath, your feet still trying to back up despite the table stopping you. "and i feel like you would let me." harry teases, his smirk growing.

you let out an involuntary squeal as harry's face comes closer to yours, turning away to avoid his eyes. "h-harry–" you try to protest, but he turns your chin back to him before you can finish.

"wouldn't you?" harry asks with a knowing tone.

you try to turn away again but harry doesn't let you, instead only bringing your lips closer to his as his hand fixes itself around your jaw tightly. you struggle a bit in his grasp but he isn't letting you go.

"i see the way you watch me, pretty girl. you may be smart but you're not very clever." harry's lips barely graze yours as he talks, his breath overwhelming your senses as he continues to stare into your eyes. "you'd love for me to tell you all the filthy thoughts running through my head about you right now, wouldn't you, darling? want me to describe every scenario, every position, every sound that comes from these pretty lips?" harry's thumb raises from your chin to your bottom lip as he swipes it across the soft skin.

you're speechless at his blunt attitude, your legs shaking beneath you as you try your best to continue standing. your mind is a mess trying to understand his response. you knew the vapor would be powerful, but you had no idea harry would react like this. you weren't exactly complaining, it was just so out of character for him to be so suggestive and upfront with his desires, let alone his apparent desire for you.

you clear your throat, trying to gain the confidence to formulate an answer to his question. "h-harry, it's the vapor, y-you're not yourself," you try to explain, your voice getting caught. "just…just sit down a-and we can talk about the side effects."

harry's grip on your jaw tightens more, making you wince slightly.

harry pulls away from your face, his eyes still boring into yours hungrily. his glasses are slightly fogged from how close he was to you, but his blown pupils were still clearly visible. he's looking down at you, smirking, chuckling at your pained expression. "you never answered my questions, if i remember correctly."

you can hardly continue keeping eye contact with harry as you felt your cheeks completely flushed and heart racing beneath his grasp. you were trying to keep it together knowing he was under the effects of a powerful potion, but part of you has wanted this for so long it only feels right to let harry have what he seems to want as well. i mean, that's what friends are for, right?

still squirming under the weight of his body against yours, harry grows impatient as he lets his clothed erection just barely rub against your thigh, enough to get your attention. your eyes widen, and harry smiles in satisfaction, humming at your response. you let your body relax despite your thumping heartbeat and rapid breathing, feeling yourself lean into harry as well.

harry hums again with his eyes tracing over every part of your face like he's trying to memorize it. "hmm, that's what i thought. now, tell me, pretty girl," harry starts, his hand tilting your head up to face him more. "what do you want?"

his question left you speechless once again. you didn't expect harry to consider your feelings in the matter; not that it made any difference anyway, you've wanted him just as bad for a long time now. but you were conflicted, was harry actually attracted to you, or would the potion make him act this way towards anybody? would it be wrong of you to encourage his behavior knowing he was under the influence of a potion? did any of that even matter with harry's throbbing erection pressed against you?

rather than answering harry's question, you took a chance and reached for his shoulders to help steady yourself before pressing your lips against his. harry moans into your mouth at the feeling, his grip on your jaw loosening but still holding you in place. his other hand snakes around from the edge of the table to your ass, hungrily grabbing for it and making you gasp.

harry takes this chance to shove his tongue past your lips, pushing you back against the table once more. in one swift motion he lifts your ass onto the tabletop, sitting you down in front of him. both of his hands go to the hem of your shirt, which you help him take off quickly. his lips attached to your neck, his hands already wrapped around your waist, and you nervously watched the door behind harry to make sure no one catches you two.

you start pulling at harry's sweatshirt and he rips it off before you even have the chance to help him. his skin is hot to the touch, and his hair's becoming damp with sweat. "harry," you say shakily as he's leaving a bruise on the side of your neck with his teeth. "you're so warm,"

pulling away and admiring the fresh red mark he's left on you, harry has a slight smirk on his swollen lips, "you should feel my heart," he says with a chuckle, guiding one of your hands to his warm chest. you can immediately feel his racing heart just beneath your fingertips, beating at a pace that couldn't be healthy for him.

you try to protest, but harry just gives you another hungry but short kiss. "i'm fine, [y/n]. i'm better than fine. it's like every inhibition i've ever had is gone, and it feels amazing. i'm sorry if i've been a bit strong, but, if you could see what i'm thinking, you'd actually be a bit impressed with my restraint…" harry voice is softer this time, his hands finding their way to your back, fiddling with the clasps on your bra. his lips wander from your ear down to your shoulder, sending a chill down your spine.

once harry has your bra undone, he looks back at you for confirmation. you eagerly help him remove it from you, throwing it to the side as harry's eyes become fixated on your chest. "fucking hell, [y/n]." harry curses under his breath before his hands cup your boobs aggressively, making you whimper in response.

it doesn't take long before harry has to press his lips against the soft skin of your tits, with his teeth following not far behind. you instinctively bring a hand to your mouth to muffle the sounds you can't hold back, but harry isn't having any of it. he gives you a stern look before grabbing your wrist and placing your hand in his messy hair. "let me hear you." he states, his voice dark and commanding once again.

once harry's lips and tongue find their way to your nipples, you can't help but start to melt in his hands. whiny moans, gasps, and occasional curses fall from your lips watching harry's eyes flutter close as he enjoys pleasing you. your fingers become entangled in his hair, holding him closer to your chest.

however, harry soon grows impatient again, and your filthy noises certainly didn't help him.

he pulls you down from the table, making sure you're able to stand before quickly turning you around and pressing his erection against your ass. you moan at the feeling and grind against him, making harry's grip on your waist tighten as he lets out his own strangled moan.

you help harry remove your pants as his come off as well. only left in your underwear, harry's arms wrap around you from behind, his fingers softly running across the wet fabric covering your pussy. "fuck," he breathes against your ear, his other arm wrapping across your chest and bringing you further into him. "i need you."

harry's desperate tone sends another shiver across your skin, your mind practically short circuiting at the thought of him wanting you so badly.

harry bends you over the table, his chest against your back as he leaves rushed kisses along the nape of your neck. the cold surface of the lab table makes you gasp, your nipples hardening at the sensation.

"now," harry says, leaving one more kiss just under your ear. "what i want you to do," he continues, reaching for your open notebook across the table as well as your pen. "is be a good potions student, and write down my symptoms." he tells you as he sets the notebook in front of you and hands you the pen. you can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

you're a bit confused and nearly about to protest when you feel harry's fingers hook under your panties and pull them down hastily. you try to look back at him, but a hand quickly grabs your hair from behind and forces you to look back at your notes. "follow the rules, darling." harry's deep voice instructs you with a hint of a threat behind his words.

harry's grip on your hair only makes your pussy throb more. you can feel his other hand resting on the back of your thigh, his fingers running along the wet folds of your pussy, humming to himself at the warm feeling. just as you're about to start writing, you can feel harry slowly pushing a finger inside of you. your moan is strained at the unfamiliar feeling, but harry's tight grip in your hair loosens as he begins to comfort you. "just relax and let me take care of it, baby."

if you weren't wet before you certainly were now. your knees were weakening beneath you, forcing you to lean into the table for more support. you relaxed your body and breathed evenly, trying to shift your focus to the notes in front of you instead. your handwriting is shaky and uneven, biting your lip in an attempt to distract yourself from the desperate feeling growing inside you.

"go on, tell me what you wrote." harry teases. you groan in protest but attempt to speak anyway. "r-rapid, heartbeat," you manage to say before you start writing the next symptom. "d–" you try to speak, but you gasp as harry introduces another finger into your aching pussy.

harry chuckles, tightening his grip in your hair. "hm?" he asks, waiting for you to continue. you try to hold back your moans as you look back down at your notes, your eyes attempting to focus on your writing. "d-dilated…pupils…" you trail off, your eyes rolling back as harry's fingers thrust deeper into you. you can hardly keep your moaning under control and harry's loving every second of it.

"lack of…inhibitions," you breathe out, your handwriting barely legible the more you write. harry deep chuckle from behind you only distracts you further. your stomach is tight and your legs can barely hold you up anymore as you feel your high begin to build. just as it does, harry removes his fingers and leaves you feeling empty.

before you can whine, harry lets go of his grip on your hair and instead grabs your shoulders, pulling you up from the table a bit. holding yourself up with your arms, harry separates your feet with his. you can feel the head of his cock grinding against your wetness from behind.

harry's fingers end up in your mouth, making you taste yourself as he forces your head back to look at him. his eyes are entirely dark, no longer the inviting shades of blue you're so accustomed to. his smirk is evil, and his hair is sticking to his forehead from the excessive sweating. "i want to watch you take me." harry's voice is darker than his eyes, a cold, demanding force that takes what it needs.

with his fingers still holding your mouth open, you let out a pained moan at the overwhelming feeling of harry's cock pushing inside of you. despite his aggressive demeanor, harry remains gentle with you, giving you time to adjust to the feeling and carefully watching your expression. his eyes are practically sparkling with lust watching you lose yourself in the feeling of being filled by his cock.

"fuck," harry curses under his breath again. his other hand grabs for your hips, his fingers digging into your skin like you're the only thing keeping him standing. "feel so good, darling." harry places a messy kiss on your forehead before he begins thrusting into you again, slowly, enjoying every second he's inside of you.

you're nearly crying out in pleasure and desperation with the pathetic sounds coming from you. you can hardly move against harry's grasp, not that you were complaining, but you just needed more or else you would go insane.

you attempt to push your hips back to make harry get the message, and the smirk on his face tells you he got it right away. once he starts thrusting into you quicker, your mind goes blank. you can feel the drool start to drip out of your mouth and over harry's fingers, even down to your chest and the table top. harry is groaning at the sight of you becoming such a mess for him.

"looks like you needed this more than i did, hm?" harry teases, his lips so close to your ear you can feel them. you nod eagerly, your hands reaching for his arm holding your mouth open. you grip onto his forearm for stability, your eyes rolling back into your head at the overwhelming pleasure. he takes his fingers out of your mouth and instead holds your throat tightly. you gasp for air and wipe the drool from your lips.

soon both of your moans fill the room, the air sweaty and the table creaking beneath you. the fear of someone hearing you or getting caught no longer concerns you, if anything it just thrills you even more.

harry then reaches for your notes and pen again. you try hold the pen as well as you could. "i have one more symptom i want you to add," harry says between heavy breaths, becoming worn out and even more sweaty. you whine, but nod your head as you attempt to line your writing up with the rest.

you feel harry bend you further over the table, his chest hot against your back as he continues pounding into you. it's challenging trying to keep your eyes open and focused when you're completely blissed out with harry groaning in your ear.

"obsession," he hisses, his grip on your throat tightening as he picks up the pace of his thrusts.

you try to write out the word, but you can hardly keep your hands steady. your stomach feels tight, your heart starts beating even faster, and you can feel yourself on the brink of your orgasm.

harry chuckles at your pathetic attempt at writing, but moves the notebook away anyway. "good girl." he commends you.

it's enough to bring you over the edge, your mouth dropping open with nasty sounds and eyes rolling back once more. harry groans into your ear as your pussy tightens around him, his thrusting becoming sloppy and tired.

"please," he breathes out just as you start coming down. "please, baby, can i cum inside you, please, please, i need it," harry's practically begging you, as if he even needed to ask.

"cum inside me, harry, please,"

"fuck," he moans again, his voice broken and needy. he's still desperately chasing his high, his hands sliding around to your stomach to feel himself pounding into you. "you're all mine, [y/n], all fucking mine." he growls into your ear. you could nearly cum again hearing harry fall apart behind you.

with a few more stuttering thrusts, harry cums inside you with another broken moan, bending you over the table again as his hands try to catch himself. his cock still fully inside you, you can feel his chest rising and falling on your back as he tries to catch his breath.

harry quickly gets off of you, almost in a rush. you turn to him and see his eyes are wide, his pupils shrinking back to their normal size, his hair nearly soaked in sweat. he tries his best to cover himself up, eventually grabbing for his pajama pants to put them back on. you're a bit lost at his reaction, hoping he didn't regret his actions so quickly.

"u-uhm, [y/n], i'm…i'm, so sorry," harry apologizes, his voice genuine and scared. he's wiping the sweat from his face, barely able to look at you. "i-i didn't mean for it to, f-for me to, um…" he's stumbling over his words, the same nervous harry you were so used to.

you smirked, crossing your arms in front of your chest to cover yourself a bit as well. "what, you didn't mean to fuck me over our lab table?" you ask smugly. harry's cheeks are completely flushed but he's trying his best to hide that from you, his hands covering his face.

"stop." he simply says, his voice meek and quiet. you giggle to yourself and step closer to him, admiring how pretty his sweaty skin looks in the dim lighting.

"hey," you say to him, stopping only about a foot away, completely naked and still shaking a bit. you reach for harry's arm and tug at it, making him uncover his face. he still doesn't dare look at you. "look, it's okay. that potion was extremely powerful, and we didn't know what would happen. as long as you feel alright that's all that matters, yeah? and, y'know, we can still be friends, even if you regret it..." you add the last part quietly, your voice breaking a bit.

harry looks up at you with guilty eyes. he's a bit distracted by your bare skin, but he can't stop looking back into your eyes. "please, don't take this as regret," he says, his eyebrows raised sympathetically. "i-i just, that's not…" he sighs, frustrated, looking away from you again. "it wasn't supposed to happen that way, our first time. n-not that i've thought about it that much," harry nervously interrupts himself, making you giggle once more.

harry looks back at you, his eyes wandering down to your chest. "u-uhm, just, you…if we ever did, y'know…you'd just deserve so much better than that," he tries to explain himself while clearly flustered.

you laugh again. "harry, i clearly enjoyed myself just then, didn't i? i mean, i don't know how it could've been much better." you admit, still in a teasing tone.

harry reaches for your shirt on the floor and offers to help you put it on. as he does you notice his eyes lingering on your chest again. "yes, but, i would've at least liked for you to have a bed to be comfortable on…" he says, knocking his knuckles against the hard surface of the table.

you roll your eyes at harry and reach for your pants as well. "well, maybe we can plan better for next time." you say with a smirk as you slip them on. harry straightens up from grabbing his shirt and looks at you with wide eyes again. "next time?" he asks innocently. you swear you could take him again right then and there, but you hold yourself back. "yeah, next time. if you'd like that." you offer him.

harry gives you that same shy smile he always has, and can barely hold himself back as he steps towards you and gives you a soft kiss on your lips. it's different, not hungry or full of lust, but rather warm and comforting. he pulls away after a moment to look at you, admiring your face in the light. "i'd love to." he whispers to you.

after helping you pack your stuff and clean up the table, harry offers to walk you back to your room with the invisibility cloak. you accept his offer and he wraps his arm around your shoulders, covering you both and walking you out of the lab and down the hallway.

before he leaves you for the night, harry can't help but snag another kiss, still as soft and loving as before with his hand resting on your cheek. you giggle into his lips, laying your forehead on his. "goodnight, harry." you say to him, readjusting your bag with your notebooks. "goodnight, my love." he tells you, unwrapping you from the cloak and leaving you with a swish.

the next morning you two had barely slept, sitting in potions class with matching eye bags and flushed cheeks. you could hardly look at the side of the table you were just bent over last night, and noticed harry smirking anytime he turned his head that way as well. his hands were subtly bumping into yours, as well as his knees, trying anything to get your attention during the other presentations. you just gave him a look, but couldn't help smiling at his gestures.

when it was your turn to present, harry let you do most of the talking and admired how passionately you spoke about the process to create the device. slughorn was more than impressed with your skill and knowledge, and awarded you and harry with top marks for your vaporizer.

"would there be any way to test the device?" he had asked curiously, holding it between his hands and examining it. "no!" you nearly exclaimed, taking it from his hands before he could even try. slughorn gives you a surprised look, but harry pipes up from behind you. "it's entirely too powerful to just try it out casually, sir." he says.

slughorn's eyebrows pinch together. "how so?" he asks. you and harry exchange awkward looks, both blushing and chuckling to yourselves. harry takes the device from you and puts it in his own pocket.

"just trust me, sir."

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cannabiscomrade · 10 months

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It's Gastroparesis Awareness Month

Hi! I have gastroparesis and I'm an insufferable know-it-all so let's talk about it!

Gastroparesis, or a paralyzed stomach, is a condition that causes delayed gastric emptying.

This can cause a range of symptoms and complications:

nausea

vomiting

early satiety/fullness

upper gastric pain

heartburn

malabsorption

dehydration

malnutrition

Gastroparesis can be treated by a gastroenterologist, but often needs to be managed by a motility specialist due to a lot of misconceptions about the condition. Providers, especially in the emergency department, will commonly misdiagnose gastroparesis as cannabis-hyperemesis syndome, cyclic vomiting syndrome, gastritis, food poisoning, etc.

There are several commonly known causes of gastroparesis like vagus nerve damage from diabetes, injury to the stomach, and stomach surgery like hernia repair or bariatric surgery. There are also idiopathic cases with no known cause. Other causes of gastroparesis are:

Connective tissue disorders like HSD and EDS (commonly hEDS and cEDS)

Post-viral (like COVID, viral gastritis, mononucleosis/Epstein-Barr)

Restrictive eating disorders

Autoimmune diseases like Systemic sclerosis (scleroderma), Lupus, Hashimoto's

Central nervous system disorders

Gastroparesis also has common comorbidities with conditions like:

POTS and other forms of dysautonomia (POTS, EDS, and gastroparesis are a common triad of diagnoses)

MCAS

SMAS (which can also present with similar symptoms to GP)

Intestinal dysmotility and esophageal dysmotility disorders (known as global dysmotility)

PCOS with insulin resistance

Endometriosis

SIBO/SIFO

Chronic intestinal pseudo-obstruction

Migraines

Certain medications like Ozempic and other drugs in that class act on the digestive system to delay gastric emptying, which has caused people to be diagnosed with gastroparesis. Some people report that their cases have not gone away since stopping the medication, others report feeling better after stopping. Other drugs like opiates and narcotics can cause delayed gastric and intestinal motility as well, but these are commonly known side effects of those painkiller classes.

Gastroparesis is classed based on severity and graded based on how you respond to treatment.

Severity of delay ranges from mild to very severe, and this is based on your actual stomach retention calculated at 4 hours into a gastric emptying study.

The grading scale ranges from one to three, one being mild and three being gastric failure.

There is no consistent single treatment that is proven to work for gastroparesis, and there is no cure. Treatments can consist of:

Diet changes (3 Step Gastroparesis Diet, liquid diet, oral sole source nutrition)

Prokinetic (motility stimulating) drugs

Anti-nausea medications

Proton-pump inhibitors

Gastric stimulator/gastric pacemaker

Pyloric botox and dilation

G-POEM/pyloroplasty

Post-pyloric tube feeding

Gastric venting/draining

Parenteral nutrition

IV fluids

Other surgical interventions like gastrectomy or rarely, transplant

Gastroparesis is a terrible disease and I hope that if any of these symptoms resonate with you that you can get checked out. I was misdiagnosed for a long time before getting a proper gastroparesis diagnosis, and all it took was a gastric emptying study. This is ESPECIALLY true if you're having post-COVID gastrointestinal problems that are not improving. I almost died from starvation ketoacidosis because of how serious my GP got in a short period of time post-COVID (I had GP before COVID), and now I'm tube reliant for all my nutrition and hydration.

Stay safe friends!

#gastroparesis #disability tag

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whumpshaped · 6 months

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thinking about lab whump and how the whumpers in that situation usually have the proper equipment to control everything in whumpee's life. and i mean everything. captivity is already sort of like that- you're confined, only have access to food and water you're provided, clothes you're given etc. but in a lab? bro. bro. that but Tenfold.

constant surveillance. proper monitoring of every bodily function that's going on. food and liquids tailored exactly to the whumpers' intentions with whumpee, down to the exact nutrients and how whumpee's body is absorbing them. because they can just check that. do they get clothes? who knows! even if they do, it's likely a hospital gown or something similar. things in the room can be controlled so precisely from the amount of light (maybe even the ratio of natural to articial light) to the temperature. medication- need i say more about medication? all of them look the same, white pills with unknown effects and side effects, and that's not to mention the things whumpee gets their body pumped full of through an IV.

it's just... so much more than your usual "i'm keeping you in my basement and if for some reason you manage to get out and call the cops i'm likely going to jail". it's "you're never getting out. there's twenty of us here and there's round the clock surveillance, number pads, and finger print identification on every door. we know exactly what we're doing and that makes us experts at torturing you in very specific ways you might not even understand. and we're definitely going to act like you don't understand. even if you do get out, who are you calling? the authorities? how do you know they're not funding this?"

you're nothing but a rat in a cage, and you can only hope the button you're pressing is about to give you a treat and not a shock.

#im in a mood #whump #lab whump #captivity #noncon drugging #multiple whumpers #dehumanisation #needles

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baby-alien11 · 1 year

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Needles and Stitches

Chad Meeks-Martin x Fem reader

A/N: I had appendicitis two years ago, and I can't forget that experience so I'm putting it in some of my fics (wattpad and here)

warnings: hospital and all things related, fluff, reader being under the effects of anesthesia and meds

After everything that happened months ago in Woodsboro, Chad didn't want to step into a hospital ever again

But here he is, by your side while they were prepparing you for appendicitis surgery

It all started three days ago when in the middle of a study session in the library when you started to get strong headaches which made Chad worried, but you minimized the situation saying it was because of stress

The next day, while you and Chad were in the middle of a make out ssession in his dorm, you stopped the kiss the moment you felt a pain in your right side of the abdomen

"What's wrong baby?", Chad asked with concern, "Are you okay?"

"I think I ate something in bad state", you responded with your face hidden in Chad's bare shoulder holding your right side

"Hey, what if we just lay down and I bring you some medicine?", Chad suggested circling your waist with his arms, "Does it sounds good?"

"Yeah", you answered in a low voice

Carefully, Chad lift you from his lap to left you in the bed covering you with the bedsheets before standing and searching for the medicine

The next symptomes were the lack of hunger and fever, along with the pain in the abdomen that didn't stop with meds

So, tricking you into thinking that you were going on a breakfast date, Chad took you to the infirmary campus were after several tests they took you to the hospital to get appendicitis surgery

"I still want my breakfast date", you said getting out of the bathroom with the hospital gown on

"First we need to get your appendix out", Chad responded helping you get to the hospital bed, "I already told the group, Sam said she is coming right now and the others are coming after classes"

"I can't believe I'm having appendicitis at 19 years old"

"Well, the doctor said this was the limit age, and if you think about it, this organ doesn't have an utility at this point"

"Since when do you know all about this stuff?", you joked

"I read everything about the appendix on the way here", he answered making you laugh, "Hey, everything is going to be fine, okay?"

"I know, it's just that I don't like needles"

"Hey, if I survived being stabbed last year, you can survive an appendix about to explode"

"I can't belive you actually compare both situations", you laughed in disbelief

In that moment, the nurse returned with the things to prepare you for the surgery; during the IV placement, Chad held your other hand and covered your eyes so you don't see the needle in your hand

During the whole way to the surgery room, Chad didn't let go your hand giving you assurasing words, leaving kisses in your forehead and lips before getting separated

Openning your eyes after what felt like the longest nap you've ever taken, you noticed that you were back in your hospital room, and the whole friend group was there too

"I'm back", you said in low and raspy voice

That phrase made everyone get closer to you bed with concern

"I'll call the doctor", Sam said pressing the button next to the bed

"How you feeling?", Chad asked sitting in the bord of the bed

"Sleepy and empty", you answered

"Yeah, they took a whole organ out of you", Quinn joked, "Actually is in here"

"What?", you asked in confussion

In response, Tara showed you a small plastic cup with you appendix floating in liquid making you frown with disgust

"Who would think that this small organ could kill anyone", Tara commented

"It looks like a cheeto", Ethan pointed

"I would say a shrimp", Anika continued

"Looks more like the parasite of REC", Mindy followed, "Like the one in the original movies, not the remakes"

"I can't believe you are making fun of my appendix", you scoffed

"Well, it's out so is no longer part of you", Chad said, "But you are going to feel well from now on"

Interrupting the conversation, the doctor and a nurse entered to the room, which made the whole group get apart from the bed except for Chad who stayed by your side holding your needleless hand

"Hi, Y/N, how are you feeling?", the doctor asked while the nurse checked your vitals, "Any pain?"

"From the inside no, but my stitches hurt a bit"

"That's normal, but we still going to give you some medication for the pain, you are going to stay for the night and tomorrow you can leave, liquid diet for the next week, complete rest for three weeks or a month until the scar is completely cured, I will remove the stitches in a week from now", the doctor instructed

"What do you mean by liquid diet?", Chad asked with a notebook and pen in hand

"Juice, water, tea, fruit, soup, jelly, things like that", the doctor answered, "Nothing to strong for her stomach, and be careful while taking showers because of the stitches, if someone could help you, the better"

"We would take care of her", Sam spoke

After a few moments, the doctor and the nurse left, leaving the friend group alone

"I really wanted a burger", you comented making everyone laugh

#scream #baby alien creations #chad meeks martin x reader #chad meeks martin #chad meeks martin x fem reader #chad meeks martin x you #chad meeks x reader #chad meeks martin imagine #chad meeks martin fic #chad meeks martin fluff #scream 6 #scream vi #scream 2023 #mason gooding

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dreadsuitsamus · 7 months

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Crazed | Sōsuke Aizen x Reader |

author's note: blame @yeowangies for this, idk 🙈

pairing: sōsuke aizen x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw, explicit smut, dubcon, sex pollen, thigh riding, humiliation and a bit of degradation

You lost track of how many days have passed since that last day in Soul Society. Has it been months, or just a few weeks? Mealtimes once kept you on track, though Sōsuke Aizen is the craftiest bastard you've ever met and as such, you can't trust the timeline you once gave yourself— not to mention, you stopped eating sometime ago. Your eyes are tired, the life drained of you from this imprisonment in Hueco Mundo; the memory of Tōsen flanking and kidnapping you during a mission in the World of the Living blurs now.

Why did they take you? You haven't had the chance to ask. You've yet to see Aizen at all since the day he betrayed Soul Society, though your trust in him was quite minimal long before that. He had always seemed a little too put together and perfect; perhaps you should've said something. Not that anyone would've believed you— could anything have even been done if you were heard?

Light floods your room and dread creeps at your senses. The Arrancar is back for yet another experiment to levy on you, and this time he's got the cruel, blue-haired Espada with him. Having long lost the ability to speak, you approach the scientist and the muscle.

Sexta’s grin is unbearably wide as he taps your chin up with his knuckle, forcing the dead look in your eye to meet with the crazed, monstrous look in his. He forces a pitiful, played-up pout on his lips. “Poor thing… We should let her out of the cage more often. See how far she can run.”

The spirit of your zanpakutō, while the weapon has been long lost in this hellish dimension, cries out in agony to light the briefest flicker of a fire in your eyes, surprising Grimmjow and replacing the smirk on his lips once more. He doesn't speak further, however, and instead grabs your arm with more force than is needed these days— much to Szayelaporro’s chagrin, as the lack of strength in you compared to his previous experiments has thrown quite the wrench into his data. He'll have to fix an IV drip on you; forcing you to eat isn't particularly his style, and he'd rather not worry about the things you could do in retaliation that would stain any of the white clothes he wears.

Sexta doesn't stick around once you're in the lab again, strapped to your usual chair as the bright lights feel like piercing needles to your growing migraine. Szayelaporro is quick to set up a drip and address the dehydration; you'll be no good to test the latest drug on if you aren't lucid. His blood itches within him, so ready to spray you with the mixture— he nearly growls at the irritation you’ve caused to bubble in his chest. How dare you alter his control like this?

Your eyes slip shut, unable to withstand the urge to sleep anymore. Maybe one day the sabotage to your basic health will win you the battle of freedom, but today very clearly won't be the day.

Unfortunately, you're feeling much better when you've come back to consciousness. Szayelaporro grins, fulfilling the stereotype he's most proud of as he instantly spritzes your face, the liquid inside it a deep pink color reminiscent of the flurries of Senbonzakura. Instantly you sneeze, though the sounds of Szayelaporro’s disgust soon fade out as the concoction forms a haze on your mind, glazing your eyes with a cloud as the temperature in the room seems to rise.

Fingers fumbling for the glass of water sitting nearby, you desperately gulp it down to ease the heat growing— it doesn't work, however. Your chest rises and falls as the heat focuses between your legs; what the hell did he spray on you? Pressing your thighs together, a soft little sound escapes you at the minimal pleasure the friction provides.

“Interesting…” The Espada hums, notating the entirely unintended side effects down onto a notepad, and you sit there humiliated by the feelings he's forced upon you as he shoves a thermometer in your mouth to test for fever.

You're unbearably horny, the slick between your legs pooling into your panties while your nipples, as sensitive as you've ever felt them, harden into little peaks that can be seen through the fabric of your clothes. Your brain hardly has the ability to be thankful that Grimmjow is long gone and unable to see such a display from you; you'd never, ever live it down if he witnessed this.

“This is… Hmmm…” The Arrancar hums to himself, rubbing his chin in thought. This certainly has no place in his research— the plan isn't to make Aizen's enemies so horny they're incapacitated, despite how successful the potion’s effect is. Certainly he'll have to shelve this and his curiosity on just how far this goes, but there's still certainly some work to be done.

Will it wear off with time? Or… Must you achieve orgasm for it to go away? There's always the chance of lethal happenings if you don't cum, but without data and further research, Szayelaporro can't know.

This is above his pay grade, so to speak.

“Come.” Szayelaporro unstraps you from the bonds of the chair, hesitating to touch you and force you out of it. Somehow, he wishes the Sexta Espada hadn't left. If nothing else, he could certainly help with the research…

But something tells him that Aizen would rather deal with this personally.

You can hardly move on your own as the burning ache of your cunt grows. Desperation plagues every thought, each one more perverse than the last and god you couldn't be any more disgusted with yourself if you tried. You'd allow anyone to touch your depraved body at this point, even the disgusting Szayelaporro, the one who'd done this and plenty other horrible things, and no doubt with plans to do worse, himself.

Your eyes widen soon— this pressure, this aura… he's been this close the entire time? As long as you've been here, you've never felt the strong Spiritual Pressure of Sōsuke Aizen, despite knowing there's no other place he'd be. But feeling him, being absolutely certain that he's close by and really and truly here…

Pitifully, more slick is produced from your heated core.

You stumble to your knees, hardly strong enough to brace yourself against the smooth floor beneath you. Aizen's presence, his heavy Reiatsu nearly crushes you as Szayelaporro leaves you on the floor in favor of approaching Aizen's throne.

Aizen's chocolate-toned eyes slide to your direction, nearly tuning out his Espada entirely as a thrill tickles his chest, traveling lower as his blood makes his cock twitch. It's not often he feels such a way; and it's not often he's presented with such a sweet gift either. As much as his Arrancars throw themselves at him, he's never once desired them.

You, the one that always hated him? Such an opportunity won't be wasted.

Aizen waves his hand, dismissing Szayelaporro and any other Arrancar that lingers. His pink tongue swipes over his lips before he speaks. “Are you able to stand?”

A shudder runs through you at the sound of his deep voice; never once have you been attracted to him, not even when almost all of Soul Society wanted in his bed. But now, under this stupid poison, he's everything all the others swooned over. Against your will, you shake as you slowly look up to meet his gaze. “No.” You whisper, fever warming you thoroughly as your eyes meet his— was Sōsuke always so striking without his glasses?

Aizen slouches in the throne just a bit and rests his cheek against his fist. “Hmm…”

His hum practically vibrates against your clit, the echo in the room bouncing the sound around in your sex-addled brain. Your pussy clenches at all the filth that floods your mind, each idea producing a dribble of slick that further ruins your panties and stickys your soft inner thighs. The pace of your heart’s beating slams against your breast, nervous under Aizen's stare.

“Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.” He can't stop the slow rising smirk on his lips, doesn't even want to fight the sick pleasure he gains from this position he's in. His words can convey all the benevolence in the world— you both know what lies beneath them, cradling his heart in the inky swaths of evil.

Your cheeks flush with a fresh burst of heat, from anger, humiliation or from being so turned on, you're not sure. Sweat pours from your pounding forehead, dripping onto the tile beneath you. The room is scorching, absolutely burning your skin beneath all the layers of fabric Ulquiorra brought you this morning. No amount of washing or drycleaning can salvage the bottoms from the slickness of your salivating cunt, and further embarrassment sinks into your skin.

Aizen leans forward in his throne, resting a large palm on his thigh and rubbing the length of it slowly. “Don't be stubborn. I'll help you, but you've got to ask for it.”

Tears pool in your eyes as the desperation begins to swallow you— it's getting hard to breathe with how humid you feel. It's absolutely sweltering in this room and the cool tile beneath you means absolutely nothing now. Squeezing your eyes shut stubbornly, your fists curl up. “To cum.”

“I did say to ask me, didn't I?”

Rage burns in your, causing your fist to slam to the floor. “God dammit, Aizen, when I get the chance to slaughter you I will!”

Your proclamation loses its punch when, after Aizen’s condescending chuckle, goosebumps litter your skin. “Come here, pet.”

Why am I listening to him?

You're far too weak to stand, let alone walk, so you're merely left to pathetically crawl to the stairs before his throne. It's a slow, humiliating journey and all you can do is pray a trail of wetness doesn't follow. Shakes wrack your body by the time you've made it up the steps, and a harsh gasp tears out of your throat as Aizen's rather delicate palm meets your face, gently, guiding your face close enough to his that his breath fans along your cheek.

“Ask me to help you.” He croons, the evil in his eyes absolutely sick with glee.

Closing your eyes does no good, as Aizen squeezes your cheeks harshly until you open them once more. Biting harshly on your tongue, you finally speak. “Please… h-help me.”

“With?”

Oh, he's such a prick! “I need to cum. Please… Please help me cum.” The tears in your eyes pour over your cheeks, leaving beautiful stains behind on your skin. Aizen wipes one away with his thumb, his lips rather close to yours as he speaks.

“You see that wasn't as difficult as you made it, hm? Just this once, your wish is my command.” In a display of his well-hidden strength, Aizen plucks the buttons of your uniform enough to tear them off completely, cool air soothing your skin as the layers are slowly peeled away until all that remains is your bra and utterly destroyed panties.

Aizen leans back into his throne again once you're stripped, jutting his leg out and patting his thigh. Your pussy throbs in anticipation and lust has plagued your mind entirely now— nothing will stop you from chasing your high now, not with your sensibilities long tossed out the window. Strength finds you when you need it most, jolting you to your feet long enough to straddle your enemy's awaiting thigh, and a loud moan is ripped from deep within your chest as the contact alone makes you cum. It's so fast it nearly hurts, the pleasure coursing through you like lightning as your fist feebly finds purchase in Aizen's shirt, just for you to stay upright.

It was good and fast, but the heat, the lust, the willingness to degrade yourself in front of Aizen doesn't subside. If anything, it's much worse now.

Your hips rock without permission from your brain, smearing Aizen’s pant leg with the slick desire you've produced. Your hole, aching and unfathomably wet, throbs and clenches in demand for a cock to fill it. Aizen allows your hold on him, merely staring at you, fist to his cheek as always, as you pleasure yourself on his thigh. It's humiliating, so perfectly in line with his intentions, but you can't stop. The friction is too good now to possibly consider stopping.

You'll kill Szayelaporro for this.

You grind faster, breasts bouncing a bit in your bra as you work your body. Another orgasm approaches quickly and you take it without hesitation, cumming harshly again and then again soon after. Finally, the air clears enough for each intake to feel fresh again, and you collapse against Aizen's solid body with heavy, ragged breaths.

Aizen smirks as you try to collect yourself. He'll be sure to have his dear scientist create more of this potion— it holds far too much value to let it go to waste.

It will be the thing that breaks you.

#aizen sosuke x reader #aizen x reader #aizen sosuke x you #aizen x you #bleach x you #bleach x reader #bleach imagine #nsft #cw dubcon #fic #reader insert #x reader

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nunalastor · 15 hours

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Buckshot Anon here and... of all the things for me to be called for, I was expecting it to be about Alastor's injury from Adam or the deaths of other members of the cast. I did not expect it to be the logistics of an AU of Roo impregnating Alastor, better known through research as Spawn of Evil AU. I don't know what it says about me that I actually have an answer to this.

The how of this happening is a bit more simple than it should be, and that is that it probably happened through traumatic insemination. Species of invertebrate do this like bed bugs because apparently they are a menace to humans as well as themselves, wherein the male stabs the female in the abdomen and injects the baby-making materials directly into a wound in the abdomen. If Roo can make a fertilized egg, this would be the method to do it.

The thing with this is it also explains why the pregnancy would be fatal in nature, because Alastor isn't exactly equipped to handle that, therefore the pregnancy would be an ectopic one (the fertilized egg implants outside a uterus Alastor does not have) and would therefore be implanted somewhere in the small intestine most likely, and that right there is where all the problems would lie, and some new ones my research into this AU hasn't tackled.

Extreme exhaustion would indeed happen, and it would technically be from the child sapping his life, but it wouldn't be in a magic way. It would be in a malnutrition way because having a fetus growing in one's intestines drastically hinders the ability to eat food. This would additionally explain why angel blood acts as medicine: it's food that can easily get down because it's liquid. Normally an IV would be used for this, but I'm going to go into speculation and assume there is also a medicinal effect here. Because the reason ectopic pregnancies are terminated the second they are discovered is because it's impossible for both mother and child for this to be sustained. The improper organ would rupture with the child's growth, causing internal hemorrhaging, severe pain, and in many cases death. Lucifer seems to be agreed on to have a healing power, so my theory for why angel blood would be so effective is it either prevents this outright or heals any damages that do happen. It would also have to be a god-tier painkiller because this pregnancy would be agonizing, the child being chill would be the only thing preventing a horrifying complication, and Lucifer would need to be at Alastor's side every hour of the day to make sure nothing happens.

As for the matter of childbirth… yeah, no, that’s not happening naturally. If we’re going by the assumption Roo is giving Alastor no help here, he is not designed for this, there are no new pathways for this, and the only way this child would be born is either ripping its way out like that scene out of Alien, or if Alastor's death makes him disappear, leaving only the child in his place. C-Section would be the only real method here, and Lucifer would need to have that healing ready or some spare intestines and blood bags for emergency surgery. To lessen the damages, the best method would be to deliver the child early the moment it could survive outside of Alastor, and not let any type of labor start. Muscle contractions trying to move the child to no avail would destroy his intestines and cause massive internal bleeding.

In summary. Here’s what this pregnancy would look like:

Alastor is starving, and would eat very little if at all. He needs an IV and angel blood to stay conscious or alive, and the malnutrition would drop his body temperature to practically hypothermia so he would need blankets or heavy clothing.

Lucifer would need to be by his side or give him access to angel blood at all times lest an organ rupture, he hemorrhages, the entire immune system starts attacking, and he dies before he even starts to show more than looking slightly bloated.

This whole process would be agonizing unless angel blood comes with painkilling effects, the intestinal blockage would cause nausea as the body tries to prevent any eating with nowhere to go, and extreme dizziness leaving him bedridden.

Childbirth is a no-go, C-Section needs to go from Plan B to Plan A. The child would need to be delivered around 7.5 months to lessen damages, and the irony of that given deer gestation is not lost on me.

Honestly, if Lucifer didn’t intervene so early, the whole pregnancy would look much more like Alastor had terminal cancer from a tumor in his abdomen. Keeping how dangerous this is from Charlie would be a masterclass in deception.

(Note: Alastor would not look pregnant, someone could mistake it as such if he has heavy clothing on, but even the most bare-bones inspection of his bare stomach would prove this looks like a tumor.)

Hope this helps!

👀

#hazbin hotel #nunalastor asks #buckshot anon

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cubelogic · 7 months

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i dont think ive seen anyone make this poll and im curious so :)

if you havent picked one yet just look at the elements under the cut and pick the one you identify with the most!!!

i tried to summarize everything but still beware of long

Blood

Blood is the entity of feeling. It seeks intensity: pain, obsession, passion, love, hunger, hate - everything that involves feeling an extreme emotion pleases the Blood entity.

This element is related to extreme emotions, such as pain, obsession, passion, love, hunger and hate. It is the impulse of the vehemence of the feelings of entities in Reality.

The colors that represent Blood are shades of red. Blood is effective against the element of Knowledge, because the extreme feelings of Blood overcome the reason and calmness of Knowledge, while the element of Death is effective against Blood, because the temporal distortion of Death ruins the carnal perception of Blood.

All starts with Blood. It is the flow that bathes eternity on the Other Side.

Death

Death is the entity of time. It seeks the moments experienced, distorting the egoic perception of each individual's existence to its own liking.

This element is related to several characteristics such as spirals, repetition, Black Slime and temporal distortion, in addition to distorting the egoic perception of each individual's existence. It maintains the chronology of Reality so that all stories have an end.

The behavior of the Death entity seems to revolve around itself, successively seeking the application of Potential Energy dedicated to the Death spirals. Every second that someone wastes contemplating the spirals is a second that that same person could be doing other things, living other experiences. Contemplation of the spirals strengthens the temporal distortion effects of this entity, making it more powerful.

Everything has a beginning and an end, and Time takes all things. Nothing that is taken by Death can return to what it was before.

Also being in close contact with a death relic can turn you into a cool creature called Luzidio!! cant put the image bc of image limit but feel free to google "luzidio ordem" if you want to theyre cute i think

Knowledge

Knowledge is the entity of consciousness. To discover, to learn, to know, to decipher. Having one's own perception of the Other Side and its entities pleases the element of Knowledge.

This element is characterized by discovering, learning, knowing and deciphering, in addition to being directly linked to the "Whispers of Knowledge". It maintains balance so that Reality gives rise to a purpose. The colors that represent this element are white and shades of yellow.

The Knowledge Entity's behavior appears to be directly connected to the idea of discovering, remembering, learning and recording information. Events that were a great source of Fear, recorded in texts, words or even Sigils, please and strengthen the entity of Knowledge. Understanding Knowledge completely would be the equivalent of knowing absolutely everything about the Other Side. The closer you are to Knowledge the less you are yourself.

To know all is to lose it all.

Energy

Energy is the entity of chaos. Everything that cannot be explained, the intangible, the anarchy. Constant change, heat and cold, light and darkness. Everything that involves unpredictability and transformation pleases the Energy entity.

This element is characterized by everything that cannot be explained, the intangible, anarchy and transformation. It determines unpredictability, since not even the currents of Reality should control everything.

One of the most striking manifestations of this element is in a ghostly ethereal form, described as a matter that is in constant transformation between solid, liquid and gaseous states that acquires an appearance of "liquid flame", in the colors that represent Energy, which are shades of purple, blue, cyan, green and pink.

Chaos is inevitable.

👆 Anfitrião (Host), bearer of the relic of energy. if ordem was big on this website he'd be a sexyman i think

OK THATS ALL THE (chooseable) ELEMENTS HAVE FUN PICKING WHICHEVER ONE YOU LIKE THE MOST 👍

#knowledge sweep knowledge sweep knowledge sweep--#aop #ordem paranormal #opq #ogp

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the-exercist · 2 years

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In honor of my daughter turning two months old today (Have you wondered where I've been? That's the big reason I'm so offline), here's my rendition of:

Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy, Labor, and Postpartum Life

Because we typically don't get to hear about a lot of the nitty gritty and, even as someone who took pain to educate herself beforehand, many of these things took me by surprise. Pregnant folk deserve to be prepared for the road ahead.

Pregnancy:

We start counting the age of a fetus at your last menstrual cycle, meaning that you are already two weeks pregnant on the day of conception

You will continue to get "period cramps" throughout pregnancy. This is because your uterus is expanding, and that muscle stretch does not feel good.

You may also experience round ligament pain, which is an incredibly sharp pain around your groin due to your ligaments stretching. I would get it if I moved too quickly or sneezed, and the pain would knock the wind out of me.

You are recommended against sleeping on your back while pregnant. In addition to being dangerous for the fetus, due to putting pressure on a major blood vessel, it can make you feel horribly nauseous and light headed. Get used to side sleeping.

Nasal congestion during pregnancy is a thing. Your nasal passages may constrict to the point that you have difficulty breathing during certain parts of the day.

You will be peeing frequently even before the fetus is large enough to press on your bladder. Since your body is producing extra blood, your kidneys have more to filter, so you will be visiting the bathroom way more often right from the start

Labor and Aftermath (C-section):

Cervical checks, where your doctor uses their fingers to measure how dilated you are, are very painful in the beginning but get easier as labor progresses.

You cannot actually induce labor. All of those old wives tricks, like curb walking or having sex, will only induce contractions. So engaging in them will likely only prolong your pain without making the baby come any sooner.

A side effect of the epidural is uncontrollable shaking. It hits right as the epidural wears off and can last for several hours, making it difficult to use your hands

You may not be physically able to pee after getting a c section. Your body loses the ability to control those muscles, leading to urinary retention that can last for a few hours or even a day or two. Even once you can pee again, your body may lose the sense of urinary urgency for a week or more, meaning you can't feel if you have to use the bathroom.

Congrats, you're still getting intense "period cramps." This time, it is your uterus contracting back to it's original size. The cramps get worse while breastfeeding.

IVs pump you so full of liquids that you may experience severe edema, aka foot swelling. This can last roughly two weeks and can reach the point that you can feel your feet sloshing around when you walk.

Postpartum:

Breastfeeding hurts. Your nipples may get torn up, but even so, the latch itself can feel like you are getting stabbed. For the first ~4 weeks, I had to take a deep breath, brace myself, and power through the sharp pain.

The "Let Down" also hurts/aches. This is when your milk releases and begins to flow. It may happen after the baby latches or randomly during the day and then your shirt is suddenly dripping wet. It feels like your boob muscles are stretching.

Lochia is your bloody discharge afterward. It can last for weeks, and it's worth wearing postpartum diapers to deal with it.

Keep taking your stool softeners even after you're all healed up. Breastfeeding can cause constipation.

You can get pregnant again right away, even if you haven't had your period yet. Breastfeeding will not reliably prevent it. Plan your birth control well before you're cleared for sex at six weeks.

Got a question? Want to share another odd tidbit? Add it here!

#pregnancy #birth #postpartum #baby #reproductive health

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scratchandplaster · 1 year

Text

Aftermath of Drugging

CW: discussions of non-con drugging, spiking food, medical whump, overdosing, drug abuse, addiction, death, brief BBU-mention

Using drugs as a whump method is pretty common, and rightly so! As one of my favorite tropes, it was interesting to think about how they could affect the Whumpee after the act itself, be it physical or mental.

That's why I made a little compilation (for me and you), if you feel like agonizing your Whumpee even further. There are also some examples in between, for your entertainment!

The research is mostly relating to any downers, meaning any drug that makes you calm or fall asleep, so anesthetics, hypnotics or sedatives. Examples include ketamine, Rohypnol, GBL, propofol and heroin.

Uppers on the other hand have the opposite effect in stimulating the human nervous system. Some of the effects that are noted below are applicable to both kinds of drugs, but keep in mind that stimulants are more of an afterthought in this list. I'm going to recap the effects of both at the end.

I'm not a pharmacist by any means, but as far as reliable research for creative writing goes, this should suffice. No one is going to fact-check your whump fic, bestie 🤍

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

By method:

Ingestion (forcing them to take pills, spiking their food)

→ General indigestion, nausea, dry mouth

Injections via syringe or continuous administration through an IV drip (e.g. in medical settings)

-> Swelling/tenderness/infection/bruising of the injection side

-> High fever (even days after the injection)

→ Anaphylaxis: skin rash, chest tightness, dizziness, nausea, facial swelling

Anaphylaxis is an all-body allergic reaction that can cause mild to severe and even deadly symptoms (shock or coma). It can escalate and should be immediately treated with a shot of adrenaline. This kind of reaction could be detrimental to Whumper's plans, especially if they intend to keep Whumpee alive for the foreseeable future. So it would be helpful for them to always carry an EpiPen, just in case...

Inhalation (gas or liquid)

→ High risk of choking and (sleep) apnea

-> Irritation of throat, nose and eyes

-> Throat spasms (Laryngospasm)

Includes coughing, difficulty breathing/speaking and the feeling of suffocation. Even though this kind of spasm fades away pretty quickly, they cause severe stress and panic to the aggrieved party, even leading up to lose consciousness again.

Physical side effects:

-> Drowsiness/tiredness, headaches/migraines, tinnitus

-> Dry mouth/throat or excessive drooling

-> Dilated pupils (causing Whumpee to be light-sensitive)

-> Slurred speech

-> Skin rash, itching, hives

-> decreased/increased appetite (give them a little snack...or not)

Motor skills:

-> Muscle relaxation, ataxia (lack of movement control), general weakness

-> Poor coordination

-> Tremors, cramps, spasms

-> Numbness, paralysis of the body or extremities (a local anesthetic would also do that trick)

Vegetative effects:

-> PONV: nausea, vomiting, retching

-> Cold shivers or hot flashes, acute sweating

-> Arrhythmia, low blood pressure and heart rate

-> Labored breathing

-> Vertigo

The physical consequences alone can make the wake-up process a living nightmare for Whumpee. Any after-effects that inhibit them from just getting up and escape are probably the worst in such a situation, making them weak and useless even if no restraints are involved. Imagine Whumpee just breathing heavily and quivering with cold shivers on a basement floor, unable to shake this uncomfortable feeling off. Their whole system is just trying to get the drugs out, but doing more damage than intended. Numb to the world around them, not even feeling if they are hurt or wounded. Or imagine the complete opposite: Them being able to get up and stumble to the exit, only to be overwhelmed by intense dizziness and collapsing back onto their knees. All the while Whumper watches, of course 👀

Did Whumpee eat beforehand?

Prior to any anesthesia, the person has to fast for at least six hours beforehand. Because Whumpees rarely plan their own kidnapping or non-con high, Whumper should wait for the right moment to get it done. Otherwise, they're risking aspiration or choking and therefore dangerous lung damage up to death; surely the most undesired outcome. Who would have thought that drug abuse can be dangerous...

Impure compounds? In my illegal drugs!?!

If your Whumper's stash really was cut with popular diluents e.g. other medication or lactose, the risks are surprisingly low. The threat of overdosing still comes from the main drug agent. However, mixing downers and uppers to cancel each other out can lead to a dangerous cycle, which amplifies the side effects and increases the risk to OD.

Mental side effects:

-> Nightmares, paranoia around food/drinks

-> Depression, anxiety, self-loathing (e.g. for not being careful enough)

-> Psychosis, hallucinations (optic, acoustic, in terms of taste etc.)

-> Dissociation, confusion, disorientation

-> Insomnia

-> Reduced anxiety or inhibitions

Now instead of being afraid, Whumpee could go batshit crazy and make fun of Whumper; spitting, biting and insulting their aggressor. An outburst they will probably regret later, when they're calm again and sober enough to understand the damage they have caused themself.

-> Memory loss/amnesia

Cue intimate Whumper, who just plays the part of a worried friend while keeping their love safe and controlled. Vague recollections of past abuse? No, just take another sip from your tea, it's alright... One could use drugs as a mean of removing memories altogether, I think in the BBU the "drip" is used to erase the whole personality of the Whumpee, making them a blank slate to train however one would like.

Withdrawal:

-> minutes or even days after the initial drugging

-> extreme anxiety up to paranoia

-> nausea, vomiting, indigestion

-> muscle aches

-> flu symptoms like a runny nose, sweating and fever

Depending on the kind of drug and how often it is used, withdrawal can start after just one dosage. "Not even once"-drugs include meth, heroin and crack cocaine. Also, barbiturates have a high risk of dependence. Speaking of it...⬇

Addiction as a long term effect:

-> Organ damage especially of the brain, liver, kidneys and the diseases that follow (including cancer, short weight, heart failure)

-> Loss of interests, behavior/personality change

-> Selling all valuables and ending up in poverty

-> Aggression/violent behavior

-> Shame and guilt

Isolated, financially and mentally unstable, Whumpee's life had been ruined with just a single act. Even Caretaker turned their back on their former friend. But Whumper would love to help Whumpee become sober again, under just a few conditions. On the other side of the spectrum: a Whumpee who finally managed to escape and take revenge on their abuser, they slowly but surely make Whumper ruin themself through their newly developed little habit...

To sum up:

Downers (decrease bodily functions and calm you down)

→ Unconsciousness, weakness, distortion of perception, failure of motor functions, coma

-> Common examples: Xanax, ketamine, propofol

Vs.

Uppers (stimulate bodily functions and mood)

-> reduced inhibitions, more prone to hallucinations, psychosis, seizures, serotonin syndrome (high heart rate, sweating, twitching, mania)

-> Common examples: meth, ecstasy, cocaine

Bonus: How to store your Whumpee!

The immediate consequence of drugging someone is to figure out how to keep them. Get them secluded and ready for whumping:

-> In the backseat, foot space or trunk of a car (use an ambulance, it's inconspicuous)

-> You know these roof boxes people strap on top of their car? Stuff ´em in there!

-> Put them in a box and ship them overseas

-> Basements are classics, but try the attic for a change

-> Just use a coffin, combined with an old hearse nobody is going to notice

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterpost]

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sanctus-ingenium · 1 year

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answering your asks in one big post because you sent so many of them (update: added 2 more that just got sent)

hi guys. what the fuck

in plain text so i don't have to type out a million image IDs

Anonymous asked: "I am obsessed with your metal beasts and lore!! The designs are *chef's kiss* gorgeous and inspired and if you were to ever make print versions of the kinda diagram-like side view pieces of them I'd slap that stuff all over my walls ❤️❤️"

Answer: I'd have to pretty them up a LOT to get them print ready. But I think it would be cool to do a blueprint style version kind of like old diagrams of machinery with additional embellishments

like this (source)

Anonymous asked: "have you ever posted any art of the dragons you've mentioned before? im really curious ab them"

Answer: I've posted sketches. I have trouble drawing diagrams because I am STILL torn between radial and bilateral symmetry... i know it should be radial but in my heart I prefer bilateral. So I'm thinking maybe it is radial but with a pseudo-bilateral look. It's definitely on my to-draw list

Anonymous asked: "just wanna pop in and say i love all your worldbuilding its so creative and fun, but as a dragon lover i ESPECIALLY adore your weird and funky dragons. i think its so cool when people push the boundaries on what a dragon can be (that versatility is a big part of their appeal to me in the first place) and your take is one of the most fun ive seen in a while"

Answer: as a marine biologist, I-

the dragons came after the beasts. I wanted to give them a reason for existing and 'knights fighting dragons' evokes such a great retro fantasy vibe that i loved it. The reason Pantera is a leopard (and not any other kind of big cat) is because in medieval bestiaries, leopards were said to fight dragons using their 'sweet breath'. You can see where I went with it. But dragons in these bestiaries have such variable appearances and can be virtually anything, like you said they're so versatile. For the people in this setting, the most they ever really see of dragons are the legs, tendrils, and the massive beak (which is mineralised like the pen of a squid). It's a creature really too big to comprehend, so they depict it in their diagrams as a bird-headed creature with wings and a back end made of serpents. but you can always tell in these illustrations whether the artist has actually seen a dragon in person.. because they won't draw it like this:

@our-tiny-hotel asked: "where did you get the idea/inspiration for these stories?"

Answer: for mez, i like zoids, retro fantasy, speculative biology, and stories which explore themes of religion and its role in highly gendered systems of oppression (lbr it is fantasy catholicism. that's right... this is also a story about gender)

for inver: fairies man

Anonymous asked: "is nosewyse a dog? i cant find anything about it on your blog"

Answer: You can find Nosewyse here. He's the smallest Holy Beast and by far the most pathetic

@raskies456 asked: "Re: your tags on the Taurus art, how DO the smiths manufacture such massive single plates of metal?"

Answer: I'm going to draw some diagrams to explain but basically the theocratic empire sits on a massive wealth of iron ore so there's no shortage of it. Smiths can manipulate metallic elements using the dialogue tattoos on their palms - Mercury and Mars are the titles for enginesmiths and armoursmiths respectively. Enginesmiths use mercury because it doesn't interact with incandescent dragonsblood, and it's a liquid metal which in alchemical theory is Pure and extremely close to gold (free of sin u might say). The quicksilver is used to manipulate the insides of a working engine without having to physically touch it. Armoursmiths work on iron, but here's the issue: solid metal won't budge. It needs to be softened or liquid for the dialogues to have any effect. So the armoursmith teams are blacksmiths who heat up these mass amounts of iron using dragonsblood furnaces until the iron is malleable, and then in teams of 50 or more they slowly and painstakingly stretch and shape it into the desired form. that's how they make armour plating for Holy Beasts. The use of dialogue tattoos isn't like psychic telekinesis, but more like playing an instrument where the position of each finger has to be perfectly accurate in 3D space to produce the desired effect. it's a very physical job and incredibly skilled. Taurus's barge took decades to construct and thousands of workers.

Anonymous asked: "are you ever going to publish the book are you are writing"

Answer: maybe. the idea of traditional publishing doesn't appeal to me. might just be a "buy this pdf on itch.io" sort of deal

Anonymous asked: "Hi, im new here. I hope this isn't rude, but from what i can tell the gist here is that medieval people dug up what i can only assume are the still-living skeletons of otherworldly beings or perhaps demons and went "Wouldn't it be cool if we put flamethrowers in these guys and rode them to war" and then they do that thanks to jellyfish ooze from giant violent sky jellyfish?"

Answer: I can neither confirm nor deny (yes but also nooot quite ;))

Anonymous asked: "Jowd you learn how to draw machines? Is it hard to draw all the Bits on those mechazords in the correct place when theyre like jumping and run ing and shit?"

Answer: I learned a lot from building zoids, putting them together, watching them move etc etc. At the same time, it's also sort of basic anatomy too? Your hinged elbow joint is a mechanism and if you just made the same joint in metal it would work the same way. But ALSO when i draw them, I follow the ref sheets for big parts but mostly bullshit the details because who give a shit at the end of the day if I put a screw wrong, no one's going to care

Anonymous asked: "Idk if this helps you at all but on r/zoids on the Dreaded Reddit people talk about 3d printed zoids so maybe you can get your zoids that way"

Answer: I am a member of r/zoids lol... that sounds really cool though. I've never seen a 3D printer in real life before tho. But I can't be out here getting more zoids when I have had my HMM command wolf half-constructed for literally over a year because I keep procrastinating on it

Anonymous asked: "A lot of libraries have 3d printers and some people will like. Hire theirs out so people can print stuff"

Answer: Not in Ireland they don't

Anonymous asked: "Is it illegal to make beaft ocs".

Answer: I'm not a cop and my main stance is: do what you want, I can't stop you. If you would like to design a mech animal using medieval bestiary aesthetics - go for it, it's fun. However, why does it have to play by my setting rules? Wouldn't you prefer to make something wholly belonging to yourself? You can invent a million new ways to use this sort of mech design in a story with a whole new setting, all yours. It just won't be one of mine or in my setting.

Anyway you couldn't make a beaft oc in my setting anyway because you don't even know what they are or how they work

#you are all so thirsty for beafts #info asks #setting: mez #anon is now off over xmas

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cosmonaughty · 5 months

Text

Infusion|| Emerie/Hemlock one-shot

Description: Emerie wants to learn more about torture methods and asks for a hands-on lesson.

This one-shot is not technically nsfw, but I will include a content warning for: + needles + IV + other medical references

I don't know if there's a term for "consensual torture", but it's pretty much that.

Emerie didn’t know what to expect; she wondered if she had made a mistake asking for this, but she didn’t want to back out now. As far as she knew, the anticipation was part of the experience, and in any case, it was something different from the scheduled monotony of her day to day. Still, she couldn’t fight back the anxiety creeping up on her. She was visibly tense and shaking slightly, hardly a surprise, given her attire. Despite the room’s frigid temperature, all she had on was the sleeveless undershirt and shorts that typically served as her underwear.

The temperature of the room somewhat complicated the otherwise simple procedure of placing an intravenous line in her arm. It took a slow couple of minutes of Hemlock’s fingers attentively searching the soft underside of her arm for a decent vein before he finally found one he had confidence in. Emerie winced as his needle sank into her flesh, but she knew that minor sting was nothing compared to what was coming. She turned her head to watch him clamp the tube and move on to prepare the syringe, moving as though the whole process came to him as naturally as breathing. In a way, it felt reassuring to know that she was in experienced hands, but it also led her to wonder how many times he had done this. This exact thing, she thought, probably never.

When he set the large syringe down on a sterile tray beside the table she was laid out on, she let her gaze linger over it. The fluid inside had no color or viscosity that she could easily detect; for all she knew, it could have been anything.

“Whenever you want it to stop…” He reminded her, pushing a plastic bulb into her open hand. Her fingers curled loosely around it and her thumb toyed with the cord it was attached to in an attempt to seem unbothered. Hemlock moved around her to secure the restraints around her limbs. As each was pulled tight, her grip on the bulb in her hand became more rigid. He paused beside her head and repeated what he’d told her before they had begun, “You don’t have to do this. If you back out now, I won’t think any less of you.”

“It was my idea.” She answered evenly. It was an idea she wanted to see through, not only as an act of stubbornness, but as an educational experience. She had been given brief lessons on methods of enhanced interrogation, but had no first-hand experience with it. If it was something she may be expected to assist with, she reasoned, she should have some understanding of what it felt like. Stubbornness had only become a factor over time, after Hemlock had initially dismissed the idea. Now she had to do it. If he didn’t think less of her, she would think less of herself if she gave up now. She wanted to do it. It wasn’t for him, it was for her.

He didn’t make any further attempt to dissuade her, simply secured the final restraint and moved on to make the injection. From the corner of her eye, she saw him deliver a few sharp snaps to the side of the syringe and saw a shimmering drop of liquid well up and spill out of the needle hub as he held it at the ready. She heard him unclamp the tube and briefly detected the flush of saline in her throat.

“I’m going to go slow.” He told her as he fitted the syringe into the access port. Slowly, he depressed the plunger, sending half of the solution into her already tense body.

Emerie didn’t have to wait long to feel the effect. It began as a stinging sensation at the infusion site. Before she had time to register the initial burn, it had shot up her arm and was overtaking her entire body, searing its way down towards her core. Her lips parted to gasp for air and the sound that escaped her was a strained cry of shock; she had somehow believed that the pain would come on gradually, not all at once like a bolt to the chest. She fought to regain her composure, if only she could breathe then maybe she could steady herself. As she exhaled in a series of short, heaving breaths, she was acutely aware of the serum sizzling in her veins like battery acid.

Amidst the blinding pain, she felt something warm press against her wrist and looked to see Hemlock checking her pulse, seemingly untroubled by her initial reaction. The contrast between the waves of pain traveling through her body and the soft, albeit impersonal, human touch was confusing in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on. The confusion itself intrigued her and pushed her to keep going. Struggling to take in another breath, she did her best to flex her hand toward the half-filled syringe.

“More…” She gasped out. Even through her strained and blurry vision, she spotted a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as Hemlock turned back to the syringe and unclamped the tube once again. His gaze lifted to watch her intently as he, very slowly, depressed the plunger all the way.

Although Emerie had believed that the second round would be easier, she was once again shocked by the white-hot pain that rocketed through her body. This time, she didn’t even try to disguise her reaction, groaning through gritted teeth and pulling against the restraints as her body tried to thrash and twist away from the unseen source of its distress. She tried to pull in another breath, but each of her lungs felt as though it was held in a vise. Her chest barely hitched with a shallow gasp, followed by another and another as she tried to drink in as much oxygen as her panicked body would allow. She began to feel lightheaded, even as thousands of electrified needles stabbed at her nerves, and she could feel something effervescing at the edges of her consciousness, something she couldn’t identify that sparked as intensely as the pain surrounding her.

Her hands, still bound at her sides, flexed and gripped the edges of the table as she managed to pull in a deep, shaking breath. The plastic bulb rolled off the table and dangled limp from its cord as she exhaled in a breathy wail, weak enough to almost be a sigh. Hemlock took this as a signal that she’d had enough and detached the syringe, wiping the port clean before flushing it again.

“It will be over soon,” He assured her, disposing of the empty syringe. “Give it a moment to clear your system. Talk to me when you’re able to.”

Gradually, Emerie felt the pain begin to subside; as it faded, it left behind it a pleasant feeling that she had only felt in passing a few times before. Not a feeling of pleasure, but the relief that comes with the sudden absence of pain. Breaths began to come more readily as her body relaxed, and she savored the ease with which she filled her lungs. Her momentary bliss was disrupted when she felt something warm roll down her neck.

“Am I bleeding…” She muttered, her voice coming out hoarser than she had expected. Hemlock stepped closer and examined her, undoing the restraint that held her head down and turning her face from one side to the other.

“Sweating.” He corrected her, this time doing a slightly better job at hiding his smirk, although she still spotted it. He set to work on releasing the rest of her restraints. Puzzled, she lifted her now free hand to her face and wiped the moisture away from her skin. It was indeed sweat.

“But it’s freezing in here…” She pointed out, still staring at her hand. “Isn’t it…? ‘M shaking…”

“I can see that. Here,” He returned to her side with a towel, which he used to lightly dab at her brow before handing it to her so he could take her arm and ease her off of the table and onto her wobbly legs. “I’d like to hear what your findings are.”

They were sitting side by side on her bunk. Emerie had a blanket wrapped around her and a cup of juice held in both hands. She was still shaking, but her voice had returned and now she was describing her experience with exuberant fascination.

“I thought if I could just keep pushing through, eventually it would get easier…more manageable, at least, but it never did, it just kept going on and on and on and-”

“Careful.” Hemlock warned her gently, supporting her hands with his before she had a chance to spill her drink all over both of them.

“-and on…Yes, thank you.” She smiled sheepishly and took a sip of the electrolyte drink. It tasted like artificial fruit with an underlying saltiness that would be immediately recognizable to anyone who had ever consumed potassium powder. “How long was it, altogether?”

“From the first injection, nearly five minutes.”

“Only five??” She nearly choked on the bright orange liquid and hurried to cover her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Nearly five.” He corrected her. “It’s still very impressive. And you didn’t even confess to anything, so I’d say you held up well. Or well enough for nearly five minutes’ worth. At a low dose.”

“I don’t have anything worth confessing…” She said with a weak little laugh, dipping her head to hide the warm bloom of pink that crossed her cheeks as she said it.

“Not everyone does. Most will come up with something, though.”

“Well,” Emerie lifted her head and sat up straighter, taking on a more academic tone. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” Hemlock’s brow raised in what seemed to her to be genuine surprise.

“‘Next time’? I think once is enough.”

Emerie deflated a little bit; she was confident she could do better if she tried again. Of course, the experience itself had been excruciating, but she felt there was still so much she could learn, about the process and about herself, given enough time. Besides, the way she felt now, radiant and weightless, somehow sparkling in spite of her messy hair and threadbare blanket and the bruise developing in the crook of her left arm, made the pain worth it.

“But I’m sure I could hold on longer next time,” She insisted, clutching her cup tightly in both hands. “You could even increase the dosage or…I don’t know…what about gradually increasing levels of intensity? I think that could be interesting.”

“It could be very interesting.” He agreed, slowly nodding along to her suggestions. “But not tested on you.”

“Why not on me? You test on yourself all the time.” She tried to look resolute, but with her blanket cloak and her cup of juice she ended up looking adorably pitiful. Hemlock exhaled an amused scoff and brushed a few limp auburn strands off of her forehead.

“There are some things you shouldn’t get used to.” He told her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her affectionately to his side. He pressed a kiss to her temple and mumbled. “We really should wash your hair, though.” She laughed and playfully kicked at him as he stood and offered his hands to help her up. Although the conversation was seemingly settled, she couldn’t resist one final retort as she leaned against his side on the way to the refresher.

“Next time I’ll make it to six.”

#the bad batch #star wars fanfiction #the bad batch fanfiction #tbb fanfiction #emerie karr #dr. hemlock #royce hemlock #EmLock #emeriexhemlock #fic #medcore #medical

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 8 months

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Bury the Dead (with a Stitch Through the Stars)

@inklings-challenge

though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light

i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night

[The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, Sarah Williams]

Thirsty.

It’s the only thing she can think. It’s all dark and her eyes are sticky shut and she’s so thirsty. It isn’t supposed to make a sound.

Her eyes flicker open to the weak barking whine that come out of her without meaning to. “Thirsty,” she whines, though it’s not supposed to sound like that. When she blinks the stickiness from her eyes a person comes into view, blurry at first. It isn’t one she recognizes. She hopes this one won’t hurt her. She hopes this one will help her.

“Ah, there you are,” says the person in a soft rumbly voice. It’s a man with strangely colored eyes and a wiry beard speckled and striped with white around his mouth. He presses a hand to her back, making her shiver, and she sits up almost surprised to have been lying like that.

“Alright, there you go,” says this careful man. He tips his head in a question she cannot answer, then quickly walks away. She wants to follow him, instinctively, but thinks she does not have the strength. So she just whimpers. There is no one else to hear her. But it’s as if that calls the man back, because he returns with a worried look and holding a small clear cup. She can nearly smell the liquid inside it, can taste it already, and finds her limbs flailing as she reaches for it.

The strange man holds up a finger. She knows that that means wait. She forces herself to still and the man smiles behind his beard. That’s good, isn’t it?

“Drink it slowly,” he says. “Don’t shock your system. You’ll feel very thirsty for a while, but you had an IV the entire time to keep you hydrated.”

She isn’t sure what most of that means, but she tries to drink the cool, sweet water slowly like he said. She wants this man to be happy with her. She dips her tongue into the cup first, as if to lap it up, and ends up spilling much of it when her hands fumble.

“Careful, now,” chuckles the man. He has a familiar rolling accent, and she both knows and does not know the language he speaks in. “You were a part of the younger batch, but your charts didn’t show a name,” he says once she has sipped down all of the water. “You can call me Daniel,” he continues. “and you are?”

She tips her head sideways. There is only a piece of something she thinks may have been a name, once. “I don’t know,” she tries to say, her voice raspy from dis- and mis-use.

The man, Daniel, nods. He turns and writes something down somewhere. She tenses at this. This is familiar. She doesn’t think this is good. “That’s perfectly alright,” Daniel reassures her, though. “Amnesia is a noted side effect of this type of cryogenic inducement, especially at these rates.”

She tries to clear her throat. It sounds like a growl. “Is it… forever?” She asks. It does not bother her. She would just like to know, since it seems that she can ask.

Daniel hesitates, tipping first one shoulder up and then the other, one side and then the next, like swaying back and forth. “Most often, no. It can be permanent in some cases, but usually it’s a case of time and patience. You’ll be fine,” he says kindly. “Do you have a name you would like me to call you in the meantime?”

She thinks of the last warm voice she remembers. It fades in and out of her memory, black and white. “I think…” she licks her lips. “Lai?” And watches for a reaction.

Daniel nods. He writes another thing down, maybe her name? And smiles. “It’s good to meet you, Lai. I’ve already told you my name. I’m this vessel’s generational medic. If you have any health concerns, you may come to me anytime. And since you seem to be suffering from post-cryosleep memory loss, let me explain:

“We are aboard the mid-journey ship Aleya, en route to an experimental colony on the upper edges of the star Earendel’s solar range. As you likely learned in school before your boarding, if you remember that, humans can only stay in a cryogenized state for so long before bodily systems begin to break down, so this journey has been planned in stages. You and I will not see the light of Earendel in our lifetimes.” His voice quietens at this, a wry smile faintly visible in his eyes if not his mouth. “This generation will grow old and reproduce and raise each other so that when they are of a safe age, the next can go to sleep knowing they will wake in their new home.”

Lai sits very still, watching Daniel intently. All of what he is saying sounds very big. Big words she does not know, big ideas she can’t understand, but what she does hear is that what they are doing is big, very big, bigger than anything she’s done before. “I’m… important?” She hears herself say, strange raspy high voice she isn’t used to.

Daniel nods, smiles again. She likes that. The smile directed at her, mostly, but also the being important. She thinks she’s been told that before. She thinks it’s nice. She tips her head. “So what now?” She questions. There must be more beyond this space they’re in. How much is there she can’t see? From what Daniel said, everything seems very vast. She isn’t sure about that.

Daniel breathes out thoughtfully. “There are semi-private living quarters enough for everyone onboard this craft. You were the last of the batch to come out of cryo, so I will escort you to re-meet the rest of them, so you won’t run the risk of getting lost. Do you feel strong enough to walk a slight distance?”

She hesitates, then nods. She believes she can manage, but Daniel still has to steady her for a moment when she slides from the cot she was on. Standing on two feet feels strange. She looks up at Daniel, nervously licking her lips. She sneezes.

“будь здоро́ва,” Daniel chuckles as Lai stares at him, wide-eyed. She feels her face form into a grin, teeth showing and all.

“мой родной язык,” She exclaims in kind. My mother tongue!

Daniel nods thoughtfully. “I thought as much. It’s mine as well, ancestrally at least.” He says the last as an aside, half quietly and looking off as it at nothing before his gaze fixes back onto Lai. “Shall we go?” He holds out his hand in beckoning and from instinct, Lai reaches out and takes it. Daniel watches this, puzzled, but does not pull his hand away and she is grateful.

He leads her into a long, high-roofed hallway, walking slowly as if he worries she cannot keep up. But she does. She follows him by the hand through the tall white halls, head turned wonderingly up to see the ceiling, tiled in reflective blue. “What is that?” She asks softly.

Daniel follows her gaze up. “Ah. Stained glass,” he says. “This hall ends in the chapel, if you were to return the way we’ve just come,” he explains. “The stained glass lights the way. I like to think it offers some semblance of hope, as well. The rest of the Aleya is not so artful.”

The blue-ceilinged hall opens into a wide, vast place that immediately dizzies her when she reaches it, and she grasps onto Daniel’s hand harder. There are platforms at all levels around the edges of the tall, too tall walls, some wrapping all the way as far as she can see and disappearing into halls that must be similar to the one they’ve just emerged from. She gasps softly taking it all in, layers upon layers of floors and platforms, small forms moving around atop them and at the bottom, maybe a real floor. There are dozens of enormous glass windows, filled with inky blackness broken up by specks and swirls of light. It’s familiar. It scares her. It’s all she can see.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Asks Daniel softly. She looks up at him again, eyes pleading, don’t leave me, keep me safe. “Are you okay?”

Lai shudders. “это огромно,” She whispers. It’s vast.

Daniel hums and nods. “действительно.” Indeed, he tells her. “It’s our whole world.”

He leads her across the platforms in a complicated thread where her feet stutter and hesitate at times. She follows blindly, still staring around at this place, so big, so cold. She can hardly wrap her head around it. The sky outside is so dark, but is it still the sky with them in it? She doesn’t know. She isn’t sure she wants to know. The sky is their whole world, it seems.

They turn down another hall, plain ceiling tiles above them instead of stained glass. She follows them with her eyes, losing count every few, and follows Daniel by sound. His footsteps are steady, steady, then stop and Lai finds herself in a more shadowy room, where there’s a rustle of blended sounds and smaller doors that lead off into who knows where.

There are more people in there, in varying states of motion. A man with dark skin sits on a rounded, cushioned bench frowning and squinting at a flat, glowing object in his hand. Two children hover behind a different man who stands in a corner speaking to a woman with green eyes. In a chair near a doorway there is a girl with curly hair holding a book, turned sideways with her legs thrown over the arm of the chair. Scattered all about the room are little metal bottles that she is sure are full of water.

“Last one?” Asks the dark skinned man, looking up. He sets down the glowing thing and stands. “Took a while, didn’t it?”

“She did,” Daniel agrees, lightly squeezing Lai’s hand before letting go. She tries to not be upset at that. But then he puts his hand on her shoulder and it warms her. “This is Lai. She’s suffering from a touch of post-freeze memory loss, so if someone would like to help her settle in…”

The girl with the book unfolds herself from the chair. “I’ve got her, doctor,” She says in a lilting accent. “There is a bed in our cabin anyway, with Marla and her sister as well.” She offers Lai a smile. “I’m Esperanza.”

“Hello,” Lai says. This girl is taller than her, moves strangely. Her hair is long and curly. Lai thinks she is interesting.

“I will leave you to settle in,” says Daniel. Lai turns to watch him go and wishes he wouldn’t leave. “Желаю вам удачи,” He says in their shared first language. I wish you good luck.

#I HAVE THE SECOND CHAPTER FULLY WRITTEN AS WELL I JUST WANTED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO POST BEFORE DEADLINE DAY IS OVER #also i hope the russian is ok i had to source all my translations from the internet :(#anyway. yeah #the title is soooo weird to me idk if i like it but. parentheses.#it was going to be a reference to afterlife of the party but i already have two FOB references as chapter heading quotes so dsjkhdsjghkshg #figured i’d rein it in a little #Lu writes #inklings challenge #team lewis #genre: space travel #theme: burial #daniel is loosely inspired by prof. bhaer btw. just so you know #ok i’m done talking #it is 11:25pm on october 21st as i post this hopefully i made it under the deadline

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macgyvermedical · 1 year

Note

I have a character who gets shot in the side and her friends sensibly realize she will die without actual surgery. Unfortunately there are also people who still want to kill her, so staying put in a public place isn't ideal. How do I determine how long she absolutely positively must stay in the hospital? And what are the risks of leaving early?

The reason hospitals exist is because there are many situations in which a person doesn't have the skill, equipment, and/or ability to take care of themself at home.

Maybe the person can't keep anything down and needs IV fluid to stay hydrated. Maybe they have altered mental status for some reason and can't keep themself safe. Maybe they need assessments for changes to their status around the clock. Maybe they need a medication that is dosed based on an assessment that they can't do themself. Maybe they need a treatment or medication that is too dangerous or side effect prone to give outpatient.

Any of these, among many others, are reasons people might have to stay in a hospital.

For surgery/trauma specifically, a pretty standard checklist has to be met for someone to go home. They have to:

Be able to hold down fluids (with oral anti-nausea medication if necessary)

Have tolerable pain with oral pain medication

Be back to (or very close to) their baseline mental status

Be able to pass gas

Be able to urinate

Finish their course of IV antibiotics (in the case of trauma or an intestinal surgery)

Be able to understand and follow their care plan at home (when to take meds, how to change dressings, when to come back for follow ups, when/how they can bathe, etc...)

Once these are all met, the person can generally go home safely. For some people and surgeries, this takes a few hours, for others this takes weeks or even months. Some people may even need to go to a rehab center or a skilled nursing facility before they can go home safely (especially if they can do everything but the last one).

Someone who is shot in the side and needs surgery likely had the bullet penetrate their peritoneum- the sac that holds their abdominal organs. This probably injured some intestine, which means she will need IV antibiotics and runs the risk of part of the bowel dying or failing to work as it should after the surgery.

If she was really proactive and there were no complications*, she could probably meet everything but the antibiotic requirement within 24 hours.

Now, after 24 hours, even if she'd met all the requirements except the IV antibiotics, she'd still have to leave against medical advice, or "AMA". This means that the best course of treatment, the IV antibiotics, has to take place in the hospital, and she would run the risk of complications (peritonitis) by skipping out before they were done. If she could convince the doctors to give her oral antibiotics**, she might even be able to leave without the high risk of peritonitis that comes with bowel surgery.

Speaking of complications, the main complications would be dead bowel (which would cause a lack of bowel movement/passing of gas, and vomiting), and peritonitis. For either of these, she would have to come back to the hospital and spend possibly a week or more with an NG tube or more IV antibiotics.

*This is something that would require her to start working on her checklist the second she got up to the floor. Trying to pee, being really aware of when she passed gas, drinking clear liquids like it was her job the second she was allowed, refusing IV meds if there was any other option, etc... It would not be fun or comfortable, and this assumes of course there are no complications.

**This is something that is surprisingly difficult to convince doctors to do. I have had many, many times when a patient is either refusing IV access, we can't get an IV in them to literally save their life, or the patient is leaving AMA and still needs antibiotics, and even so no one will change the IV antibiotics to oral or IM. If you are a pharmacist or a hospitalist I would love to hear reasons and if there are some magic words I can say to get alternative antibiotics for my patients.

#whump reference #writing reference #surgery #hosptials #hospital life #nursing

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writer-of-various · 8 months

Text

ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ, ʀᴜᴅʏ

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɪ : ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴛᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱ ᴄᴀɴ ʟɪᴠᴇ

"We used all types of methods to break the subject. Waterboarding, dissociation, trauma, interrogation, you name it, we did it. [Redacted] found something, an American form of brainwashing that is similar to Russian sleeper agents. MK Ultra."

– Russell, A.

February 15, 2023

1245

"Fuck!" Rudy screams as another shock of electricity pierces through him, his arms twitching against the metal restraints holding him down. He breathes heavily, glaring weakly at the Shadows surrounding him, bracing himself when the object of his torture nears his right thigh when the metal door slams open and Graves walks in, his eyes narrowed before he nods at his men and they start packing up their "interrogation" equipment. Rudy lets himself relax against the metal bed, his body feeling like it is melting and he is so tired but he watches wearily as Graves walks over to him and crosses his arms over his chest.

"You gonna talk now, Rudy?" Graves questions, and Rudy feels disgusted at how the man says his name. 'Rudy' is only for his closest and most trusted friends to call him, Alejandro was the first and has been addressing him since. Graves did call him that when they worked together, when they spent nights together, but the man lost all his trust and love, he lost that privilege.

"Don't call me that, pendejo." He growls out, barely flinching when the slap comes, but the effects of it still struck him like all the other times he's been backhanded and punched.

"I've tried a lot of things in only what, over 5 days? You are loyal, I'll give you that, Rudy, but you're loyal to the wrong people, darling. So, I'm going to ask you one more time before I cross a line that we can never step back over. Are you going to talk?" Graves looks at Rudy, sky blue meeting mocha brown, and Rudy hopes he's hiding the fear that's crawling up his spine well.

"You can fucking do anything, Graves, but I won't talk. You passed the line of ethical and unethical when you touched me in the wrong places. You're a dead motherfucker when I get out." Rudy hisses, and Graves sighs, shaking his head and stepping away from Rudy, his eyes sad and...was that guilt? The fear grew into panic and Rudy watched with wide eyes as Graves made a gesture and two Shadows left for a brief moment before stepping back inside, wheeling in a cart full of strange instruments but one thing stuck out like a sore thumb: a syringe filled with some sort of tanish colored liquid. Graves slipped on a pair of medical gloves, grabbing the syringe and putting on a long and sharp needle that had Rudy reeling back.

"Wh-what the fuck is that? Graves? Graves! Phillip–" Rudy starts screaming as the needle pierces through his arm, barely noticing the Shadows setting up an IV bag and another Shadow bringing in a medical bag and AED. One particular Shadow stood by Graves' side, holding up a stack of papers paperclipped together, his eyes watching as Rudy failed around before his movements grew languid and weak, his pupils dilating and skin going pale.

"You sure this is going to work, boss?" The Shadow asks, and Graves nods, his stare turning hard.

"It worked on someone before." Was all he said before getting to work.

Rudy woke with a start, blinking rapidly as he looked around the room, trying to take in his surroundings. A loud explosion startles him, forcing him to quickly scramble to his feet, and that's when he notices the debris and bullet shells and everything around him that screams war.

"Rook, there you are!" A voice with a southern accent calls out and Rudy looks over, seeing a familiar man with light brown hair and bright blue eyes. "You alright, darling? Those fuckers didn't hurt you too bad, right?"

Rudy looks down at his body, seeing a black uniform on him, no visible injuries or any pain so he shakes his head, looking back up at the man. Phillip Graves, his mind supplies helpfully and he bites his bottom lip.

"Graves?" He whispers, wincing at how his voice cracked and the man smiles at him, something soft and soothing.

"I'm here, Rudy. I'm here. Come on, we have a job to do." With those words, white flashes against Rudy's vision and he screams at the intensity of it, his head pounding and he tries blocking his eyes but couldn't. It didn't last long though, the light faded and when he opened his eyes (were they closed this whole time?) he saw that he was in a dimly lit room, looking down and seeing he was shirtless and had bruises and cuts littering all over his fair skin. A large metal blue door opens and a tall man walks in, dark brown hair swept back and dark brown eyes narrowing on him, sending shivers down his spine.

"Rudy, why are you making me hurt you? Why can't you just tell me where those filthy gringos are?" Alejandro Vargas (what, how did he know this man's name?) growls out, and Rudy flinches when a hand lands on his shoulder, slowly sliding down his chest and the touch itself makes his stomach churn in disgust.

"You're a monster, Ale" Rudy whispers, and the dark gleam in Alejandro's eyes, the way his lips curled up in a sick smile, should have been warning signs for what is to come. He knew he had to have trusted Alejandro Vargas at one point, but now these memories flashed through his mind, these fragments he wanted gone now showing up in big pictures. Alejandro touched him, in ways that broke Rudy and his dignity.

But Phillip Graves returns, he slammed through that blue metal door and forced Alejandro off of him, the searing pain that came forcing a cry out of Rudy, who breathes heavily and is oblivious to the waterfall of tears trailing down his face. Graves, after knocking out the colonel cold, came to his rescue, cutting the restraints and lifting him up, throwing his jacket over him.

"I got you, Rook. I got you. We have a job to do." The flashing light came back, and Rudy let it wash over him this time, his eyelids squeezing shut, but this time he felt everything around him. The coldness affects his temperature, the hands on his body, and the exclaims over his head. He reopened his eyes, finding himself in what looked like a hospital room, his eyes darting everywhere before landing on the man standing beside his bed. Graves.

"Hey Rook, you okay?" Graves asks softly, and Rudy nods, confusion written across his face. He looks out the window, the curtain pulled back to allow the daylight to shine through, before returning his gaze back to Graves, eyebrows pinched together.

"Where am I?" He questions, watching as Graves looked at him with some sort of intensity before smiling, standing up and moving over to release the leather cuffs holding Rudy down.

"Infirmary. You got hurt on a mission, doctors say it could have been a bad concussion that made you act up. You tried hurting yourself so we had to restrain you for safety, I didn't like it but I couldn't bear to see you hurt yourself." Graves answers, voice full of honesty and Rudy nods.

"I...I can't remember anything. Just you, I think." He says sheepishly and Graves' head snaps up quick, blue eyes searching his own before his lips turned down in a frown.

"You were hit on your temple with a heavy gun, then beaten by the enemy. Head injury, they said you might wake up with slight amnesia and to just watch you closely. Don't worry, darling, I'll help you get that smart brain working again." Graves says, helping Rudy sit up in the hospital bed. Rudy mumbles a quiet thanks, trying to stand but his legs felt so shaky he would have fell if not for Graves catching him in time.

"Am...am I not going to be able to work?" Rudy asks, feeling relieved when Graves shakes his head, a reassuring smile replacing that frown.

"You should be back on the field in less than a month, but for now it's bed rest and light paperwork. We are keeping low for a bit anyways, we barely escaped the last mission. We have a safehouse near the base, my trusted men are waiting there for us." Graves turns around and goes over to the table at the end of the end, grabbing a clear plastic bag and handing it to Rudy. "These are your clothes, I washed them for you. Get ready and we'll head out."

Rudy nods, letting the man help him to the bathroom before shutting the door, inspecting his reflection in the mirror. He tries to recall any memories but everything is blurry or seemingly nonexistent, and he knows he can trust Graves to help him regain those memories. As he removes the hospital gown and begins putting on his own clothes, he tries naming the basic stuff. His name?

...What is his name? Graves calls him Rudy, and in his dreams he also called him Rook. But his legal name? He can guess for some first names, but anything else is blacked out. Okay, birth date, or age? Still nothing. Family, friends? Nope.

Rudy growls out in frustration, slamming his hands down on the counter, trying to blink away the pressure building up behind his eyelids. With shaky hands, he opens the bathroom door and walks out, smiling at the sight of Graves waiting for him. He can assume he and Graves were a thing, with his dreams and how the man calls his darling. Unless nothing happened between them and he's overthinking, any memories he has had have been swiped away, taken away ruthlessly, leaving him a shell of who he used to be.

"Come on, let's go home." Graves wraps a strong arm around his waist and they walk out together.

The ride to the safehouse was quiet, something Rudy bathed in as he pondered over millions of unanswered questions going through his head, his fingers fidgeting with one another in a coping manner. Graves watched him from the corner of his eye, his lips twitching as he wanted to grin so badly at his accomplishment, but he kept his cool, he threw on the stoic expression and ran through the notes he embedded in his memory.

"Are you hungry? I can text of the guys and have them make you something." Graves finally speaks, breaking Rudy out of his inner turmoil. The younger man hesitantly nods, forcing his fingers to stop moving and rest on his thighs, a small smile making its way on his face.

"Yeah, that's fine. Graves?" He turns slightly in his seat, his face heating up when the man gives a small hum. "I...I know this is going to sound weird but...are we together? Like, are we a couple?"

Graves looks over at him and smiles, something charming and definitely made Rudy's blush darken. "We are. We've been together for four years now, I saved you from an asshole."

"Alejandro Vargas?" Rudy says it like a question, almost flinching when Graves stops the car and turns to look at him in his seat.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Graves gives him a look, something dark in his bright eyes, and Rudy takes a deep breath.

"I, I think I was having flashbacks when I was asleep. I dreamt of waking up in some sort of battlefield, you were there, saying something about me being okay and if the enemy got me. Then it changed, I was...I was restrained and Alejandro walked in this room, saying some weird things. He..." Rudy paused, hands starting to shake again as the memory plays in his mind, those rough hands gripping his hips, his cries falling on ignorant ears as the man thrusted inside of him, no prep or care– but Rudy doesn't want to call it what it is.

"Colonel Vargas is a bad man, Rudy. He doesn't give a shit about his unit or you. We worked with you when you were his second in command, we did some joint work due to a cartel problem. I noticed the way he strung you around like a puppet, you had no freedom and you looked so afraid. I recruited you to become my international SIC, he grew mad and it's when he found out he was working for the cartel that whole time. He locked you up somewhere and I refused to leave, I knew I had to help you escape. I'm happy I did, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me." Graves leans forward and kisses him, Rudy's eyes widening before he returns it shyly, his lips moving a bit inexperienced but Graves didn't mind. He just knew everything was going just how he wanted. Just how the notes said it would go.

"We should get home soon, I want you to eat a meal and get some more rest." Graves says at last, restarting the car and continuing to drive. Rudy stares out the window, getting lost in his thoughts. It's not long before Graves pulls up in a driveway, parking the car and getting out, looking over to Rudy and seeing he was in a trance. With a sigh, he walks to the passenger side and opens the door, gently shaking Rudy, smiling when the younger man looks at him and nods, getting out of the car.

"Welcome home, Rudy." Graves says, guiding him inside the house, and Rudy is amazed with what he sees. There were a handful of soldiers walking around, some talking loudly and others sitting on a couch and cleaning their weapons. Rudy follows Graves further inside the house, going up the stairs to the second floor and seeing a bunch of rooms. "Since I have to keep a close eye on you, we'll be sharing a room for now."

"Oh, okay" Rudy says softly, about to step into the room when a sudden headache hits him. It pounded against his head, his vision going blurry and nausea made his stomach churn uncomfortably and his mouth to water. "Graves..." He mumbles, stumbling forward and Graves catches him, eyes wide as he drags him to the king sized bed and lays him on it.

"Oz, Mila!" He shouts, listening to the incoherent mumbling of Rudy, his heart pounding hard as the smaller man begins to seize. Mila runs in, Oz right behind her carrying a bag and they storm over, the man opening the bag and grabbing a syringe.

"Jesus Christ. Sir, I don't think this is a good idea" Mila's voice is shaky as she watches with wide eyes as Oz hands the syringe over to Graves who injects the substance into Rudy. The seizing stopped and two medics ran in, checking his vitals and nodding at Graves when they deemed he was stable. Oz packs up the supplies and Graves turns to her, his features morphed into a sharp glare.

"You're a Shadow, Mila. This is for our, and his, own good." Is all he says before ushering them out, slamming his door shut and Mila's brow furrowed together. None of this was normal, and as she walks off to find Oz, an uneasy feeling sits in her gut. Who the hell is Rudy, and why did her commander seem so obsessed with the man?

4 hours later

"Good morning, sweetheart" Graves sings when Rudy regains consciousness, those beautiful mocha brown eyes meeting his, that same look of confusion written across his soft face.

"Graves? ¿Qué pasó?" Rudy slurs out and Graves curses mentally, looking around the room for his bag and moving to grab it. He unzips it and takes out a folder, flipping it open and glancing through the notes in there, finding the one he wanted and sighing in disappointment.

"Rook, look at me." He orders, voice turning hard and Rudy sits up, looking at him with some naivety it did something to Graves' body. "No more Spanish, you left that culture behind. You work for me, remember? English only."

Rudy nods, dazed but he understands what his commander is asking of him. "Yes. What happened?"

"You knocked out, I guess you still have a while to recover. It's fine, babe, you'll be up and running in time." Graves says with a fake grin, throwing the folder on his desk and walking over to Rudy. He caresses the drugged man's face, sliding his thumb into his mouth and feeling around the wet heat. He pushes Rudy back against the bed, removing that signature grey hoodie and the shirt underneath it, easily slapping away Rudy's hands that tried pushing him off. He moves fast, undressing both of them, leaning over to open the upper drawer of his nightstand and grabbing the small bottle of lube he has. He squirts some on his fingers, lathering it around before placing them in front of Rudy's entrance, sliding the first digit in. Rudy whines, something full of discomfort and pain, and Graves grunts.

"Fuck baby, you're so tight and wet and I barely fucking touched you." Graves taunts, sliding another finger in and scissoring the sergeant major, smiling when the other's body began to react to the pleasure. Rudy hums, small mewls leaving his plump lips and Graves leans down to capture them in a passionate kiss. He groans into the kiss, thrusting his fingers in and out, not caring that the pleasure Rudy felt began to turn into a dull pain, his lips parting as he starts whimpering in pain.

"G-graves...it hurts" He mumbles, but the commander ignores him, sliding his fingers out and replacing it with his hard dick. He slams in, no mercy or care, simply taking Rudy for his own pleasure. The screams Rudy let out were twisted in his mind, he believed it was all pleasure and lust but Rudy's drugged and destroyed mind began to feel confused and scared. "Graves, stop!"

The slap that came startles him into submission, tears falling from his eyes and Graves halts his movements and glares down at him.

"I know you are confused, Rudy, but you are mine. I will fuck you whenever I want to, I will touch you whenever I want to, you are my sweet lover and you will obey me!" Graves growls and Rudy nods rapidly, too scared to ask a question. Graves seems content with this and continues, Rudy laying there and taking it. He bites his bottom lip so his pained noises don't escape, afraid the older man wouldn't want him to talk. Graves let it slide for now, coming and sliding out of Rudy, heading off to his bathroom to shower.

Rudy continues to lay there, quietly sobbing as his body aches and feels so weird. But no anger was appointed to Graves. He was angry at himself for not being a good boyfriend, for being so broken.

How could Graves still love him when he forgot who he is?

#rook is rudy's alias #phillip graves x rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra #phillip graves #call of duty #writer of various' works #cod modern warfare #all warnings are on ao3 #violence/psychological torture/noncon

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