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xveenusx · 3 months

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Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored.

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line.

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something.

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered.

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part.

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet.

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before.

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest.

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?”

What was she even doing here?

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself.

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with.

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention.

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with.

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.”

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did.

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society.

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them.

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting.

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?”

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck.

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement.

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh.

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved.

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.”

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out.

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all.

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded.

Being responsible was so overrated.

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused.

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?”

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..”

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.”

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.”

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused.

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.”

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?”

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?”

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.”

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest.

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone.

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away.

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well.

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look.

“Are you kidding?”

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.”

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough.

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel.

“Are your hands broken?”

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience.

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always.

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body.

“I grew up.”

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive.

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear.

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?”

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me.

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice.

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives.

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty.

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?”

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead.

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?”

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable.

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of the coke laid out in front of me?

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room.

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face.

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them.

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body.

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me.

Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me.

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be.

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction.

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:”

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response.

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months.

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again.

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted.

He was so beautiful.

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin.

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually.

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds.

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch.

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in.

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed.

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated.

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but.

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that.

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest.

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists.

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face.

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear.

“You had a little something on your nose.”

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake.

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it.

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes.

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.”

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room.

“He didn’t want you.”

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel.

“Yeah, well you don’t either.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure.

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left.

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard.

“If you want a whore, go buy one.”

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet.

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore.

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time.

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.”

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz.

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing.

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another.

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other.

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way.

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing.

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun.

Why couldn’t he see that?

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down.

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look.

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right?

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke.

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed.

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me.

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private.

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me.

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself.

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.”

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute.

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain.

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom.

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.”

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?”

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go.

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?”

She nodded, apprehension on her face.

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.”

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.”

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand.

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat.

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.”

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?”

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.”

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable.

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare.

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage.

How the hell was I going to talk to him now?

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired.

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.”

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.”

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?”

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words.

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist.

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down.

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s.

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that.

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day.

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside.

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought.

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?”

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.”

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.”

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered.

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror.

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties.

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah and I’m failing.”

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped.

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation.

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me.

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire.

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention.

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up.

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter.

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his.

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin.

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy.

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat.

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse.

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button.

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.”

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses.

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter.

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together.

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants.

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom.

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him.

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal.

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing.

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply.

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle.

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself.

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene.

“That’s not very nice.”

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy.

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe.

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance.

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control.

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy.

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically.

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk.

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door.

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs.

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it.

“She’s a little busy at the moment.”

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again.

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone.

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to.

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer.

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants.

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper.

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back.

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes.

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious.

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me.

I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more.

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us.

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him.

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank.

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory.

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets.

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets.

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me.

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara?

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated.

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me?

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob.

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out.

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us.

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear.

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain.

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.”

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.”

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger.

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me?

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex?

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.”

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy.

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily.

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them.

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt.

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets.

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me.

“I’m sorry.”

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in.

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket.

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away.

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was.

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t.

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me.

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side.

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating.

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home.

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up.

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay.

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement.

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped.

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head.

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me.

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple.

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts.

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me.

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?”

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.”

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.”

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched.

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves.

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.”

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets.

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond.

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched.

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes,

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?”

“It was actually a couple purses.”

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with.

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have.

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.”

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone.

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.”

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat. And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying.

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance.

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up.

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other.

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest.

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself.

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.”

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself.

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse.

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress.

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me.

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

TAG LIST: @maybankslover @theficshop @cantbecreative @plk-18

@alicecullensgf @fairylightsandbubblegum @redhead1180 @julczimozart @wh0reforbucknasty @alyisdead @trynafindliz @bradleyroosterbradshawfr @enchantedinfinity @kaylinfayezink @godknows-shetried @sipsthecoffee @leanastarky @mirellef2001 @esquivelbianca @v-a-l-n-t-y-l-e @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome @destinydestnation @ilivinili @metatarooo @a-j-stuffs @vik-05 @thecokefairy @marauderssmut @maybank-cameron-fan @arinadixin @maxine27 @wostarsea @lilymaybank @jennapancake @dreamzluvrr @formulalfc @h1storicbabe @maybankswhore @haven247 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @drudyslut @rockychick @little-frk-satellite @gwenlovesharrystyles @rudspankow @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @bobo-bush

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privitivium · 17 days

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masochist!sensitive!himbo, mean!male!reader - lovely thoughts! bad dom reader,,,,

ur huge best bro, who's very much prone to sobbing in the crook of your neck when you're "making love" to him in his bed,,,, he's too touchy... way too touchy. often - wanting to fucking hold hands and seing them back n forth like ur some kinda fucking couple??? sick.

hmm... he's your best friend! much bigger than you... a gentle giant... kindhearted - pure of heart. fucking not - good lord. there was nothing pure about him. hand dipping in-between your legs, sitting behind you. playing with your cock... before he was kneeling in-between ur thighs, mouth finding the tip of your dick and his tongue circling your leaky bulbous cockhead while you're on the game; distracted by both winning and getting head by your silly companion who often liked to give you such attention!!! is he doing good?

he must be - if you, who generally hates touching him affectionately, are shoving ur fingers in his mouth!!! pumping lewdly into his lips as though you rre fingering his ass,,, makin him taste ur remnants of cum. fingers rubbing on the flat of his tongue, making him gag and its so very obvious that you enjoy the sight with how you surge your hips deeper - is he being whorish enough for you? mmh he can - he can be even more of a whore, he promises!! constricting around ur cock, slobbering and tonguing - sucking on your digits and moaning so pitifully,,, you must like it since you havent pulled away just yet!!!

his huge hands gripping your waist, tugging you deeper into him - feeling the mess of saliva, tears, and snot on your neck. clenching your jaw as you nearly feel overstimulated at the sense - causing you to get aggressive,,,,, he always causes you to grimace in disgust in one way or another. always causing you to you push away from him, physically and emotionally; hands finding and gripping his defined shoulders, forcing him downward to lay against the bed instead of nuzzling into your neck. not wanting to make him cry harder with the command of "don't fucking touch me" - you settle for gentle teasing.

jeez, does it feel that good? you really are sensitive. grumpily enunciating as he mewls for affection, it's kinda annoying. ㅡ is it? m' m- sorryy!!! and sobbing harder while constricting around your cock and milking load after load because he just feels that good... your best bro! feels so good!!!!

you're,,,,, best friends with benefits,,,, but he calls you his boyfriend when introducing you to his gymbros when you aren't there to correct him. moron getting all fluttery and trembling with excitement as you hangout with him... calling him your best fucking bro with a tight hole you can fuck into happily. freeuse, even? like - what? you got an erection out in public and ur embarrassed? hey, it's okay, i can help make it go away lol. please? please? please? let me help, lol. please?

idiot getting hard, trained, when you call him a stupid fucking idiot in public after he drops something on accident. something you do out of affection - insults not matching your loving touches and soothing caresses. see? you can still be loving... no need to be so sensitive, man. don't fucking cry, we're in public. all because you were showing him love - true love by touching him... you didnt like to do that... you were totally coming out of ur shell!!!

#x male reader #top male reader #x top male reader #dom male reader #x dom male reader #yandere himbo maybe #posting / finishing my original drafts lolllll!!!!!!

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yestrday · 3 months

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: ̗̀➛ DRUNK ON ECSTASY ! ft. yan! venti, kaeya, diluc, albedo

In a last-ditch effort to subdue your fiery spirit and finally claim you as his, your dear yandere mixes a little something with your food. different emotions arise, but one thing is clear— you’re soooo much cuter when you’re pawing at his sleeves and crying for him.

+ whew finally got this one out of the drafts!! did this instead of the reflection paper lololol

( yandere behavior, drúgging, aphrodisíacs )

venti does it in a last-effort ditch to break down your walls. don’t blame him, okay! he’s been trying sooo hard these past few months to even put a dent in that thick wall you’ve put up between the two of you. he’s confident in his looks and his charm, and has been exploiting the utmost out of them just to seduce you! but you’re sooo hard-headed, and he’s growing really desperate!

he adores your modesty, really! but the shy and reserved smile you put on when he makes a move on you pains him both physically and mentally. he wants to see all of you, the good ones and the bad ones, and he wants to assure you that he’ll love you no matter what! he wants to see you needy and desperate just like he is, but it looks like you’re trying to control yourself. but no worry though, because venti will make it his mission to set you free of such bothersome restraints.

and well~ ♡ venti giggles as he swirls the pink liquid around its heart-shaped vial, brazenly playing with it with your back to your wine. he knows juuust the thing to get you to open up. don’t worry, don’t worry ♡ venti can’t seem to repress the wide grin as he drops just a teensy bit of the potion. this is what friends do, don’t they? help each other out?

and he’s helping you out alright. not like he has much of a choice when you cling and grasp at him so needily. he’s laughing all the time, even when you’re begging for some sort of release. his laughter, bordering on maniacal and full of lust, is muffled by the blood rushing to your head. he loves it— those desperate eyes, the whiny pleas… you’re everything he’s dreamed of and more. isn’t this wayyy better? to be true to yourself instead of hiding what you’re really like?

“venti venti ventiventiventi pleaseee~!” your whines sound absolutely delightful to his ears, and even more so when he watches you cling to him with hearts in your eyes. your hair’s a mess, your cheeks are bright red, and you smile at him like you’re drunk on the attention he’s giving you. “hmm, i don’t know…” venti feigns hesitance, even though he’s kicking his legs in delight. “it’s getting late now… don’t you need to go home at this time already?” you shake your head fervently, clutching even tighter onto him. you stare up at him so desperately and pleadingly that it’s hard to connect you to the straight-laced person you were before. “i– i don’t need to! i’ll stay here for you, venti! just pleasepleaseplease!” you nigh sob, embracing his side as try to indulge in every warmth and touch his body can offer. “please touch me already!” the giggle he lets out is almost maniacal, one that would scare you if you weren’t high on aphrodisiac. he takes a large swig from the wine bottle (more pink than the usual red) and brings your face closer to his. your breaths intermingle, smelling of sweet wine and laced with lust, as venti takes in the prize he’s been coveting for so long. “you’re so precious, my darling,” he whispers, and when he swoops in to kiss you, tongue wrapped around yours, you swear you’ve never been more contented in your entire life.

kaeya believes that he’s not the sort of person to resort to such… disgusting tactics. he tells himself that he can win you over by his charm and hard efforts alone, but the way you smile politely at him or when you take every opportunity to avoid him… it only digs deeper into his insecurities. every witty remark he has is met with an awkward laugh, every time he tries to close the distance, you shy away. it hurts him more than he wants it to. he knows he should be giving up but when he stares at the vial of aphrodisiac he’d unthinkingly buy, he knows he’s far too gone to give up.

he tries to forget about it, tries his best not to think about what horrible thoughts he’s been having of you. but every time you show him even the slightest affection, a genuine smile here or a comforting touch there, he starts caving. how happy he would be if you showed that to him every day! he’d return every affection you gave tenfold, you’d never be starved of it. he wants you so, so bad it’s maddening, and every night he sleeps in his bed alone, his mind becomes a little bit crazier.

but tonight, you were with another. he knows he’s just a friend, that you see them nothing more than a brother, but that’s not how the other party looks at you. yet you lean into their touch so willingly, laugh with them without any restraints, and smile at them so blindingly it stuns kaeya even from across the room. he grasps tightly the bulge in his pocket, heart-shaped and taunting, and bites his lip.

he wants you so, so badly. so when you approach him with your wine glass lifted, greeting him with a drunken smile, he tries to pretend that he is the subject of your affection. tonight, it can be all pretend, but when he refills your cup and watches the pink wisps drown in the red wine, he tells himself that it’ll all be real after this.

“i’ve got you, i’ve got you.” kaeya acts like he’s not the one who made you like this, swaying tipsily from the wine and the drug and clinging onto him for support. well, maybe more than support, because of the way you nuzzle into his side and breathe a sigh of relief, kaeya thinks that maybe you’re longing for something more. “hehe, have i ever told you how handsome you are, mister kaeya~?” you ask him, smiling wobbly up at him as you gaze into his one eye. he gasps in shock when he realizes that your noses are barely touching, and he leans away quickly to save his rapidly beating heart. he wasn’t like this with others, he swears, but something about you makes him so vulnerable and flustered that he doesn’t know what to do. your rented room is barely lit, the candlelights on the side of the wall somehow adding a sensual atmosphere as he guides you to your bed. the feeling of your skin against his is like fire to ice, and the little whimpers you give as the heat tortures you from within sets his head spinning. he can barely handle it, and with the way you’ve been eyeing him… surely it wouldn’t hurt to hope for more. he tries to set you on the bed, but you’re quick to push him down first and straddle him with a triumphant grin. he knows he’s the suspect behind your behavior, yet you’re the one pinning him down and he’s the one blushing and gasping like he’s been caught in your trap. “kaaaeeeyyaaaaa~ ♡” you drawl, nipping lovebites and staring at him with heart eyes and a flirty pout. “keep me company for the night?” his breath hitches in his throat as he takes in your draping clothes and feels the warmth of your body on top of him. mustering up enough bravado, he summons his confident grin to his smile as he wraps his arms around your neck. his heart is beating in his chest, and his eagerness drowns out whatever guilt he may have felt. “anything for you, love.”

when desperate, diluc might not make the most rational of decisions. he had bought the love potion off the black market in a fit of mania after you had once again run off and hurt yourself. his illogical logic reasoned that if you weren’t willing to be under his care, safe, and protected, he might as well force you to want it.

the morning after, diluc’s face contorted with disgust as he looked into the reflection of a man willing to force the person he’d been pining for into something they didn’t want. he locked the crystal bottle under lock and key, swearing that not once would he ever use it. he loved you too much, and admittedly too prideful to resort to such cheap tactics. he needed you to love him of your own volition.

but tonight was another one of those nights, news of another dangerous stunt of yours in dragonspine reaching his ears. you were driving him insane. what archon would care if he kept you under his protection, shackling you to his side even if it meant depriving you of your freedom to explore the world as you wished? hell, he might even get rewarded for it, because you were going to kill yourself at this rate!

there must have been a reason why he didn’t throw away that potion like he had ought to do, a malicious subconscious telling him that he would need it in the future. and it was right, the side of diluc that he had despised so much was right. as he swirls the ominous glowing pink in its bottle, he watches it drop into your wine with a face devoid of any emotion– too sick with love and paranoia to even feel anything for the crime that he was about to do.

the way you’re shivering and reaching for his touch is making him go crazy. he had never expected the potion to be this strong (though he did drop a few too much just to ensure the… effectiveness), so he received your weak embrace with both surprise and a dark delight. your current image was one he thought he despised— babbling incoherently, swaying tipsily, airy giggles, just like the drunks he tended to— but on you, it was nothing short of endearing. especially with the way you whimper at his every caress, shaking in flush pleasure as you lean in for more. you’re pliant on his bed with hazy eyes anticipating his every move, and he gently lifts parts of your clothes to observe the collection of scars you’ve collected. “d– diluc…” you whimper, weakly grabbing at his wrist as he traces another once more. you’re so… small, hands barely wrapping around the width of his wrist. “wha… what are you doing…?” “observing my mistakes,” he replies, pressing a chaste kiss on your temple that has you whining. he sees this with dark eyes but refuses to let go of the leash he’s put upon himself. “all these scars that litter you’re body, it was my mistake for even letting you go out there when you can’t even take care of yourself.” he thumbs another scar and you bite your lip. “now you won’t have to worry anymore. i’ll be the one taking care of you.” “take care of me…?” you’re silent for a few seconds as if the reality of the situation has finally dawned on you. diluc sits in silence too, waiting for you to start screaming and kicking and demanding before a wobbly grin spreads on your face. “take care of me? ♡ then…” wrapping your legs around his neck, you pull him in closer till his chin rests on your tummy, and you smile so lovingly at him that he could almost fool himself. “then take care of me lo~ots tonight, ‘kay? ♡”

albedo doesn’t even bother reserving a love potion for a last resort. he might be a patient man with most things, but he sometimes likes to indulge in his sadistic desires. and there’s no other person than you who seems to rile up those desires more than ever. to have you shivering and weak on his table, moaning weakly as you beg with a bright flush on your cheeks… albedo could not have made the potion any faster.

he’s always been… scientific? when it came to matters of the heart. he’s not the type to chalk the unexplainable thumping of his chest to a mere clash of chemical reactions in his brain. rather, he looks for the fastest and most efficient way to get him results. he could try and be content watching you from afar, dressed in your cute waitress getup as you tended to customers, but archons knew how much he was itching to have his hands on you.

every time you smiled at him from across the street, bounding from good hunter to the little alchemy stall with food that albedo had ordered with ill intentions… it festered something dark within him. albedo’s no idiot, he’s fully aware of what dangerous ideas his mind has been cooking up this entire time. you chat with him with wide and trusting eyes, unaware of how his gaze lingers on your lips and how he purposely brushes your hair back to let his touch linger.

it drives him insane how naive you are, but it is an alchemist’s duty to break down things and build them up again to truly understand the way they are. and albedo is nothing but curious about you.

albedo is delighted at how much the potion seems to have an effect on you. you could barely think, head empty except for the constant need of albedo’s touch, and you beg for it so~o prettily too. he tucks a messy strand behind your ear, just as he always did, but instead of warm smiles and thank yous he’s met with whines and hazy eyes. “‘bedo, ‘bedo, pleeasseee~” you sob into his palm, hugging his arm in an attempt to keep more of his warmth to yourself. “wh- what’s going onnn? i’m sca-ared…” he shushes you, soft caresses tickling your neck as he presses a kiss on your temple. it’s exhilarating how much you shuddered from a mere peck and wondered that should he have made the effects stronger, it certainly would have sent you right over the edge. “sh sh shhh, it’s okay, darling. you’re fine. your body’s just reacting… accepting… let me indulge in this moment for a little bit longer, ‘kay? then i’ll relieve you of your pain.” you don’t process any of his words, just looking up at him with fearful yet trusting eyes. he chuckles when he sees this stupidly cute expression on you and helps himself to nip on your earlobe. “ngh, nha ♡ n- no! not the ear…! ‘bedo, ‘s too sensitive!” your toes curl at the onslaught of pleasure, and you can’t help but kick your legs as you’re overwhelmed. “y- you can’t…!” “oh dear,” he chuckles, pulling away from your lobe and watching as you lay on his lap, panting and twitching at the sensation of it all. “it’s just the ear, darling. surely, you can’t be that sensitive yet?” he eyes the cup of tea that he had brewed, suspiciously tinged with pink. “you haven’t finished your cup yet, you know.” “c… cup?” you slur, tongue feeling leaden. through half-lidded eyes, you can barely make out the sly smile on albedo’s lips. “wh… whaddya mean…?” huffing a fond laugh, albedo shakes his head and reaches out for the teacup, before tilting it into his mouth. his lips descend on yours, tongue swiping at your lips to be permitted entry. you part them, and the distinct taste of tea enters your mouth as he kisses you even deeper. “that’s what i mean,” he smiles, pulling away with naught but a string of saliva attached. now his cheeks glow pink, as he watches you with lustful eyes as pleasure and unbearable heat shake your body once again. “it’s time to fall even deeper, my love.”

#yandere genshin impact #yandere x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere venti #yandere kaeya alberich #yandere diluc ragnvindr #yandere albedo #yester.writes

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savannahsdeath · 9 months

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heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3

ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??

writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞

it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.

either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.

the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.

that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.

suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"

she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.

you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.

you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.

you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.

what if she sees me the way i see myself?

your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.

"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.

you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.

pretty.

girl.

those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.

"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.

she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.

you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.

"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.

you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.

it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."

she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.

she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.

ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.

as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."

with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.

a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.

what am i doing?

ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.

but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.

"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.

you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.

you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #reqs open #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x insecure!reader #ellie x insecure!reader #insecure!reader

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pookiebeary · 5 months

Text

Go Little Spider

Spiderperson! Reader in Gotham

Gn!Reader x Batfam(?)

Heavily inspired by "Peter the Pizza Guy" and "Dark Matter" on AO3

ATSV spider-reader

Taglist: @rl800

Back | Part 2

A pained groan and rustling from the dumpster caught the attention of some passersby but such was the norm in Gotham. No one came forward to help, merely glancing a second longer before going on with their lives.

You tried not to gag at the smell of rotting food surrounding you and instead focused your attention on trying to climb out of the pile of trash bags. It didn't help that your suit was soaked with whatever filthy water was in the bag of molding McDonald's.

Gross.

The putrid smell violates your nostrils and you try not to breathe as much as you need to, which is impossible when every little action you make causes you to suck in a breath because it hurts like hell. Each breath you take makes your chest hurt, like something was squeezing your lungs and stabbing it with a needle repeatedly. With shaky hands, you slowly climb up and out the dumpster, landing with a small thud on the concrete ground.

You let out a small oomph as your back hits the ground.

You're frozen on the ground as a wave of pain floods your body with it mostly concentrated on your left shoulder blade and ribs. The only positive thing about the situation is that nothing seems to be broken and the only thing there is the pain and horrible pounding headache like you've just drunk a bottle of vodka.

As you lay immobilized on the floor, you feel your vision blur as tears pool in your eyes. You quickly blinked and rolled your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from falling down. You weren't sure why you were crying; you've been through worse than this. In all honesty, this was but a scratch compared to the injuries you've had on your line of work.

Still, you find some tears pooling on your eyes as you look up to stare at the dark and gritty alleyway you find yourself in. It reminded you of the first time you met Peter dressed as Spiderman; He had confronted the man who cornered you after you left school and dealt with him properly. And after the man passed out from the one sided fight, Peter webbed him up for the police to take him away before checked on you. You were grateful for his help and that was your first meeting with the amazing Spider-Man....

Lips pressed into a thin line as you recall the memory, you look at the hazy night sky as police sirens echo in the background. Smoke and the putrid smell of rot clung to your nose, causing you to scrunch up in disgust but also sobering you from further dwelling on the nostalgic memories.

Your hand clenches around your spider mask, with fingers tracing the webbing details on it before you start sitting up, there's no point in dwelling in the past.

You have to move on. Ignoring the cascade of pain as you move your body, you manage to drag yourself to lay on the dumpster after much effort. Okay, swinging on your web is definitely out of the question. Your eyes fall onto the occasionally glitching screen of the interdimensional watch settled on your wrist. It looks broken, but the painful feeling of your atoms slowly disintegrating wasn't there so at least it's still doing its primary function- stabilizing your atoms to settle in this dimension.

You tap on the screen of the watch, inspecting the other hardware to see if you could salvage it; Parts of the monitor were cracked but other than that nothing seemed to be too broken to repair.

Okay, you can probably try and fix it once you get your hands on some tools and replace some of the wiring. You can do this, you think. Probably. Maybe? You weren't confident given your first attempt at reverse engineering the watch ended up with you being flung to an unknown dimension, but that wasn't so bad. Honestly you were expecting it to fail and disintegrate you instead when you jumped to the ominous portal. (You've calculated the probability and it definitely wasn't in your favor.)

Frowning as you fiddle around with the internal hardware of the watch, you feel sweat rolling down your temples as you let out a frustrated groan when you try and salvage some of the more broken parts.

Welp.

There goes your only chance of knowing what dimension you're stranded in, for now at least. You take a long look at the buzzing streetlight across the street, the gritty and dark unwelcoming atmosphere didn't seem like any version of New York you've encountered. Added with the fact that your spidey senses have been thrumming softly in warning did not help with the horrible first impression this dimension gave you.

Letting out a sigh as you look down to check on your sorry state of a spidersuit, you start walking towards the streets despite a lack of destination in mind. You don't know where to go but any place is better than a dumpster in a shady alley. Plus, you didn't forget that now you had the spider society hot on your trails. Hopefully, they are being misled by the fake trail of breadcrumbs you left behind after messing around with the watch.

With your heart in your mouth, you trudge along the pavement like every step was a pain and arduous task.

***

You'd think that an injured guy wearing a ragged up spandex costume with the theme of a spider would elicit some sort of question but you were proven wrong when the few people that walked past you didn't bat an eye. Though to be fair, they looked drunk or high as hell- which should’ve been the biggest warning sign that you're stranded in the bad side of the city.

Well, that realization came very late to you and it didn't do much to ease the low thrum your spider senses gave you. It buzzed off uncomfortable at the back of your head the further you walked into the city. The wind blew coldly against your face and you felt exposed without your mask. You hesitantly placed your sweaty spider mask back to your face and gagged from the horrible smell. Unfortunately, even after all those years of wearing it, you've never gotten used to the smell of your sweat-soaked mask after a long day’s work.

After making sure the mask was firmly secured, you look around the growing darkness. The street lamps ahead were broken or flickering like it was running on sheer will. Your spidey senses were buzzing wildly at the thought of continuing the walk.

Yea, there's no way you're walking down a dark alley alone in the middle of the night. That's just asking for trouble.

You turn around, walking towards one of the buildings, wondering which building you should climb and travel through the roofs. You didn't notice this before when you were too focused on trying not to agitate your injuries during the walk but god damn the buildings have seen better days.

Some were crumbling and had dozens of bullet-sized holes, most were covered in graffiti and broken wood planks and metal pipes with suspicious goo oozing out, it seemed like a chemistry experiment gone wrong while constructions of the building were canceled halfway.

Seriously, your spidey senses are going ballistic right now it's actually unnerving. (You swear you'd heard gunshots ring in the air and this time it's louder than the previous one as police sirens echo in the background.)

It's rarely acted this way before, except that one time you visited Hell’s Kitchen for a field trip. Only this time, the annoying constant thrumming at the back of your head was louder and more in-your-face than the one at Hell’s kitchen.

Right as you stood staring at the weathered billboard sign hanging from the shoddy building of what was once a fast food diner contemplating if you should just travel from the roof, you hear a cry for help.

***

#batfam x oc #batfam x reader #dc x oc #dc x reader #batfam x gn reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #batgirl x reader #nightwing x reader #batman x reader #batfam x spiderkid reader

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ghosts-bandwagon · 1 year

Note

Hii. Can we also get Ghost's version of the hcs you just wrote about how Price is during arguments etc... Thank uuuuuuu xx

Ooh yes I love this one, here’s the Price version for those curious!

Personally, I feel like his anger is implosive instead of explosive. He’s spent so long trying not to be explosive in his anger that he’s overcorrected and wound up making it implosive instead

As far as what would cause the argument, it could honestly be over something so stupid like not washing the dishes after cooking. But as far as what causes the buildup, it’s his own stress from work, maybe you’re having a bad day and snap at him a little, things like that

It seems like he lets things slide but it builds and builds and he wants to say something but he (incorrectly) believes you should just know that he’s getting progressively more and more upset

Eventually he snaps and it’s ugly. He definitely gets really mean, he’s bringing up the things that upset him- even if it happened a month ago, he’s passive aggressive, his tone is incredibly harsh, he’s insulting you without directly insulting you if that makes sense

It’s really hard for him to calm down once he gets going so having patience is so fucking important. Equally, if not more, important is hitting the brakes before the situation starts spinning out of control

If you’re able to catch him before he gets going and you’re calm and apologetic, he’ll pump the brakes. He’s still worked up but it doesn’t get to a nasty breaking point

Even if what set off the argument was his fault and it’s upset you, you have to stay calm and gently bring it to his attention

The argument might go better if you gently suggest taking a few minutes to breathe and come back calmer, even if you’re doing it for yourself it’ll force him to take a second as well

If you’re angry and you’re showing it, it easily becomes a screaming match and no one wins. He reaches a point that he walks away and disappears, doesn’t matter how hard you’re crying, yelling, doesn’t matter. He’s walking out and cooling off and he’s definitely ignoring you

Even when he comes back, he’s avoiding you like the plague. Not only is he still seething but he’s even more worked up about being so worked up in the first place, he hates getting angry, especially if it winds up directed at you

The key to arguments with Simon is staying calm, rational, and being patient and gentle

When things have calmed down, it helps to talk about how to avoid that in the future, remind him that you can only know what’s wrong if he tells you, remind him that you can handle it and that it’s better for everyone in the long run if he talks through his feelings

He completely agrees with you and he’s apologizing for getting so angry, he doesn’t mean it, doesn’t mean a word he says when he’s upset, it just builds and builds and he can’t stop it

When his anger subsides, he’s left with guilt and shame and disgust with himself for getting so worked up and in such an ugly way, he makes it up to you by being extra affectionate, he’s not leaving your side at all, he’s holding on to some part of you

He orders from your favorite restaurant, put on your favorite show, massages your hands, shoulders, legs, anywhere you’ll let him

God forbid he made you cry though, he’s beating himself up so hard. He’s so focused on doing everything and anything to make it up to you, but when you’re asleep on his chest, legs tangled with his, eyes a little puffy from crying earlier, he’s on the verge of tears, his self loathing at its strongest

He’s so torn up about arguing with you, it’s physically painful for him because he hates it so much. He’s not as bent out of shape about it if the argument gets stopped before it begins, but he still feels really rotten for letting it get to that point

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #cod x reader #mw2 x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod headcanons

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someforzari · 4 months

Text

Helping Hand

Virgin!Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff towards the end.

Warnings: hand job, begging, soft dom reader, riding, oral (m receiving), boob play, aftercare, consent being asked (that's sexy), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), pet names (sweetheart, good boy etc.), kinda exhibitionism (yeonjun is on call with soobin but soobin is muted, its only mentioned in one scene), praise.

12:24 pm

Soobin loved you. But being a timid and nervous boy, he never confessed his love for you. That meant being your friend and everything but secretly hoping that you would magically notice his feelings for you and tell him you feel the same. (Me too soobin)

Soobin had never slept with anyone and never really cared for it, he felt like it was overrated and probably didn't feel that good anyway but even he had needs. Muting himself on call to Yeonjun to rub one off because the thought of you crept into his mind whilst discussing the college group assignment wasnt the best idea, but who can blame him when you're so pretty. Pumping his hand up and down desperately on his cock to feel some kind of relief just wasn't working anymore. Soobin knew that it wouldn't work forever but he had hoped it would work this time seeing as he needed to hurry and answer Yeonjun. Feeling sexually frustrated, he didn't even hear the door to his apartment open as you strode in wanting to surprise Soobin with a fresh cake from his favourite bakery. Walking to his room, assuming he was in there because of loud shuffling and moans. Wait...

Realising you were listening to something you shouldn't be hearing, you quickly tried to walk away but your feet were stuck as you listened carefully.

"Ah~ please... _____!" He groaned sharply.

You froze as your face reddened and you felt a pool form at your pants. He was jerking off to you...

You should be disgusted. How dare he be such a pervert and jerk off to the thought of you. But you weren't disgusted, no, you were horny. So, you opened the door without warning, causing Soobin to yelp and hurry to cover himself.

"_____! What- What are you doing here?" He then noticed your stare, "I- I swear it's not what it looks like."

"Soobin..." You cooed "Let me help you"

You knelt over his lap and gently moved his hands away, Soobin felt like if he so much as blinked, you would've faded away like a hallucination. He was big. You gulped anxiously wondering if you could even take him. First, you had to make sure he wanted this too.

"Soobin, do you want to do this?" You asked looking at him.

He began nodding his head like a mad man. But it wasn't enough for you.

"Words, baby"

His breath hitched at the nickname and he gulped to extinguish his dry throat.

"Yes, but," You raised an eyebrow attentively "uhm, I've never, you- you know."

"Thats okay, pretty boy, ill teach you~"

He would've responded but your hand grabbed his crying dick from resting on his stomach to between your palms. Licking a long stripe up his length and placing his pink tip on your tongue made him writhe above you and moan your name out like a hymm.

Slowly, sliding down his cock, you could feel him poking the back of your throat. Realising that you won't be able to fit him all today, you took him out and started pumping him too fast for his brain to comprehend, cumming on your face in fat loads. After the initial shock of the orgasm, he looked at you scooping his cum with your fingers and eating it. Soobin felt like he might cum again.

"What do you want to do now, sweetheart?" You said sitting on his lap and combing his sweaty hair.

"I- Fuck me please"

You felt like teasing him right now, " What was that honey?"

"_____, please fuck me"

"Have you been a good boy?" You pouted at him.

"Yes. Yes I've been your good boy, please."

"My good boy" You mumbled quietly.

He felt like he might cry until you lifted yourself off his lap and removed your clothes, completely nude in front of him. Soobin doesn't know where to look, but he decides to follow you and take his clothes off too. God, he was so hot, you wondered why you hadn't made a move sooner. After he relaxed in his chair, you sat on his lap again and positioned your entrance above his tip and glided to collect some slick. After a few seconds, you slowly went lower and lower until he was bottomed out in you.

Soobin felt like he could die between your legs and he'd die happily. Maybe sex wasn't so overrated after all. Soon, he started whining for you to "please move" and that "he's been such a good boy". Of course, you obliged and rocked yourself back and forth on his dick preparing yourself to snap in half. You stopped briefly to breathe and then you bounced up and down on his cock. He was in your guts and you swear you could feel him in your throat. Soobin was no better, moaning and swearing, keeping his arms on the armrest, not knowing where to put them. Without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and put it on your boobs.

"So soft~" He mumbled between moans.

Squishing and pulling on the nipple, he built up enough courage to latch his mouth onto one, the sensation causing you to cum around him. The feeling of you squeezing the life out of his cock made him need to cum desperately.

"W-where do I-" He hiccuped.

"Inside"

That was all he needed to release thick coats of cum into you. The orgasm died down soon and you both sat in silence, panting. You had your face in his neck and he was hugging your waist close to his body.

"I love you, _____," He said hoping for your confession back.

Silence, he was worried he had freaked you out but judging from the way you were holding him, you couldn't have been. He checks your face, and you've fallen asleep. He chuckles and carries you to the bathroom where he puts you into the tub and fills it with warm water. It was alright, he didn't need a response. Not right now anyway.

A/N: first smut writing, how'd I do? As always lmk if I should make a part 2 where reader confesses her love and if it should be smut or fluff or both. Thank you for the support on my Niki work. 🤍🤍

#txt #txt post #soobin #soobin smut #soobin x reader #soobin fluff

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imsailorpluto · 1 year

Text

True Beauty: Kang Sujin character reconstruction

They did out bestie so dirty in this drama, it's time to clean up writer's mess. I don't think Sujin ever deserved such overkill. Turning her into a villain way after the opportunity window closed was so pathetic. Massacring this heroine in such a cliché way calls for serious damage repair, so let's goooo.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer and this is my first fic ever. English is not my first language, sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.♡ the story sounds better in my head but what can we do Thanks @youlookprettywithoutmakeup for sending in a request for Seojun x Sujin content. Also a big thank you to the gifmakers who blessed us all with this inspirational seojun x sujin perfection!

TW: angst, losing friends, mentions of bullying, verbal violence and family abuse

Seojun x Sujin angst

After Sujin moved to the States, the real truth behind that bullying video came out. It was never Sujin's doing, but she left all her friends believe what they wanted. Her life was pretty much crumbling down from the abuse back home and her parents' divorce lawsuit. It felt like the whole world turned its back on her. The final blow was when Seojun accused her of posting that bullying video of Jukyung. Then Jukyung facing her about it, too. Being the only one who's always had her friends' backs, she was hurting more than ever.

- Fine, Seojun, let it be me. Does it even matter? I'm the bad guy. Nobody trusts me. Not even you. I could bend over backwards defending myself for something I never did and it won't change a single thing.

- Something you never did? Get over yourself, Sujin. I know how you feel about Suho.

- Wait, do you seriously think I'd do something as disgusting as that because of a guy?

Seojun smirked hearing those words, shaking his head in disbelief.

- And since when do you think I have feelings for Suho??? Don't you know me?

- Obviously I don't.

They stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sujin's heart was breaking into a million pieces, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Seojun was cruel, even if he didn't mean to be this way. His constant hot and cold behavior towards Sujin confused her, but after he started showing interest in Jukyung, she gave up on him.

-Sujin, I went to Yongpa High, none of those girls knew a thing about the video.

- Wow, congrats! You must be proud of yourself. Trusting Jukyung's bullies... Seriously?! Like you don't know their queen bully is into you.

- Just like you're into Suho. I saw you two hugging.

- You saw that?!

- Yes! I did!

- Then you saw me crying like an idiot too. Great.

- Wait... What?

- I quit the music academy, okay?

- Are you crazy? Why would you do that?

Seojun stood there, his eyes wide in confusion. He couldn't believe his ears. How could she not tell him any of this sooner? After all they've been through. After all those moments she helped him get over their friend's death. Weren't they close enough now, why wouldn't she confide in him?

- You don't know everything, so don't act so smart. Besides, Suho isn't even my type, you pabo. He just saw me crying at the staircase.

- Then explain one thing.

All she could think about was how did she end up in this mess. Now all of a sudden he wants to talk to her? And he's acting all innocent about it.

- I have nothing to say to you, Seojun. Even your lousy accusations can't touch me. If anyone ever did anything bad then it's you chasing a taken girl.

- I wasn-

- Let me know when you stop projecting your problems on others.

- No, you got it all wrong, I don't have feelings for Ju-

- Stop it. I'm tired of this. I don't even care anymore.

He looked at her in silence, heart hurting as well. He couldn't admit his feelings to her like this, not now. He knew he did so many stupid things to catch her attention, but he didn't think it would backfire like this. He also knew something wrong was going on, but her stare was hurting him. He couldn't read her face at all. She looked cold. Serious. He felt like her eyes were literally piercing him.

- I did it. Okay, Seojun? I did all of it. Go spread the word. Oh wait, you did that already.

Frustrated and disappointed, she confirmed the rumors. She didn't want to fight back anymore. It was the first time in her life she considered giving up for a change. Like it mattered, she'd be moving to the States soon. She has already lost everything and everybody she hold dear. This was the last time two of them talked before she left Seoul.

She never told Seojun about her father beating her, she was ashamed of that. She also never told him her father was against her attending the music academy, she was scared that if she ever started talking about it she'd end up telling him everything. Suho was the only one who knew about her family situation, but only because he saw her bruises one time and asked her about it. He promised to keep her secret and she never confined in him again after that. All three of them have been friends since early childhood and she didn't want to do something that might push either of them away.

Sujin was always an artistic soul. She was great at pretty much everything once she set her mind to it. Her singing skills were always advanced, even before she started classes at the music academy. She outperformed almost all of her seniors. No matter the talent, she had to quit singing. Father's orders.

"Singing won't get you to medical school, you're only worth as much as your grades, don't show up home until you come to your senses and quit that idiotic nonsense of yours."

So she quit at the time only to save herself from unnecessary pain. She was done with covering her face full of makeup for school and popping painkillers like candy. It was much easier to quit, at least until her mom got them both out of that mess finally.

Her mom managed to get a divorce eventually. She swore she'd take care of her daughter properly this time, so winning the lawsuit against Sujin's father played a crucial role this time. And she won, which left her with their huge family mansion worth billions of dollars. Sujin's father got a restraining order from court, and after the lawsuit they never heard from him again. Her mom sold everything and they both moved to the States, where Sujin enrolled in music academy once more. Their life was pretty much comfortable, but they've always stayed humble.

Sujin knew she had to go back to visit her friends at Seoul at some point, especially since she was getting so many texts and calls from her two ex besties ever since she left. News on what actually happened and who was behind the video incident spread like fire and cleared all guilt off Sujin. Yet she couldn't get over the fact that all of her friends judged her so quickly. Sooah disappointed her a lot, she never backed her up, not even once. While Jukyung surprised her more than anyone. She was the only one who never believed Sujin did anything wrong, not even when Sujin directly told her it is her doing.

Even though she wanted to spend hours on the phone with Jukyung, and let her know about everything what happened, cutting everyone off seemed rational for the time being. Everything was still too painful for her and she needed more time to heal from the chaos. Falling into unhealthy patterns was no longer an option. Sujin's habits have changed drastically ever since she moved to the States. Volunteering as a math tutor and martial arts teacher was all she did when she wasn't studying. Her taekwondo classes took place in the early mornings, and math classes in the evenings. Slowly, it got her thoughts back in order.

It wasn't until Seojun texted her a whole month after moving that she felt that pit in her stomach again.

Seojun: I'm sorryx Sujong I shoudlvew known

- What's with this pabo? Ah, he's drunk again.

Sujin: Hey Seojun, I hope you're good. I know you've sent me that txt accidentally. Stay well and take care. Don't drink and ride that Ninja of yours, ok?

A few days passed until he finally responded back.

Seojun: Where r u, I need 2cu. Sujin: I'm out of the country, actually. Let's catch up over a video call one of these days, ok? Seojun: Naah, txt me whn u get back :P

She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to hear his voice. She needed him to be there for her, just like she used to be there for him long ago. If going back there was ever an option, she needed to get better fist, on her own. Thoughts of being back in the city where it all went downhill made her extremely uncomfortable. Besides, her feelings for Seojun confused her, it was too much all at once. This time, she decided to let him go for good. Maybe next time their paths cross, things turn out different.

#true beauty #kdrama #seojun x sujin #true beauty seojun #han seojun #kang sujin #jujin #kdrama fanfic #true beauty x reader #true beauty fanfic #true beauty imagine #hanseojunxkangsujin #true beauty angst #omo i don't know tagging this thing like is this enough? xD #imsailorpluto

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 9 months

Note

I got a request for you if you want to write it? A Marilyn/Laurel x fem student reader. How about a reader who is a rare almost extinct kind of of outcast (like a fae maybe? Or whatever you choose) so reader's parents have paired her with another one of her kind but she's not attracted to boys so she's really unhappy but she feels trapped with her parents expectations. Marilyn notices how miserable reader is and asks why she's even with him and reader breaks down crying and explains the whole situation in Marilyn's arms.

Later on the reader and her boyfriend are at the Rave'n dance and she's reluctant to dance but she keeps looking at Marilyn who can't stop looking at her. The boyfriend tries to kiss reader but the reader won't let him and breaks up with him. He gets mad and grabs her but Marilyn comes in takes reader away. They go to Marilyn's rooms and reader kisses Marilyn and they confess each other feelings. You can decide if they have sex here, if they do its reader's first time. But Marilyn notices the bruises on reader's arms from her ex and it angers Marilyn. So she ends up killing him.

When news of reader's ex death reaches her parents they send a letter saying they're taking her out of Nevermore. Crying reader tells Marilyn, begging her to take her away from there or to hide her. Marilyn decides to forgo her plans for Nevermore and run away with reader.

Thank you so much! Love your writing!

Yessss here it is!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes. This request was awesome!!! :))))))

The life you deserve

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill/Laurel Gates x Fem, Student! Reader

Warnings: Smut (mostly implied), fluff, hurt & comfort, maybe a bit dark, mentions of murder, toxic relationship, maybe a bit sad at first

Word count: 6,167

Summary: You aren’t happy. Your parents forced you to be with that disgusting guy. You couldn’t take it anymore. You need her, the woman you loved.

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!!

“Get out of here, let's go,” Marilyn said amused. A lot of chairs creaked and you together with all your classmates got up to leave the class. It was the last one you had that day, and everyone was in too much of a hurry.

You wanted to run to your room. Not because you didn't like botany, in fact, you loved it, but you didn't want to stay around your boyfriend too long.

“(Y/N), wait a minute, I want to talk to you,” your teacher said. You stopped and closed your eyes.

You were aware that you weren't too attentive lately. You were a fairy, the last one left according to your mother. Your parents seemed to suffer from the immediate extinction of your species and that's why they sent you to Nevermore. They didn't care if you learned something, if you’ll have a good life. They had other things on their minds.

“Is something wrong, Miss Thornhill?” You asked with a somewhat fearful voice.

You couldn't help but blush when you were alone with her. She was your favorite teacher, there was no one like her. Maybe you were just telling yourself that it was pure admiration, that it was nothing else. You were only fooling yourself. Since you met her you felt a knot in your stomach every time you saw her.

“Oh, no, don't worry, I just want to talk to you about your work about wild flowers,” she said smiling, looking comically through a pile of papers.

“I... I haven't been sleeping well lately, I know, I know I could have done much better but...” You said, trembling. You weren't well, you hadn't been well for a long time and you thought your grades were suffering.

The redhead looked at you with a frown and a strange smile, shaking her head.

“On the contrary, (Y/N), I was just going to tell you that it is a magnificent work. It’s the best of the class, without a doubt,” she told you, putting a hand on your shoulder. Your lip trembled, though it wasn't what you expected to hear. “Your knowledge of wild flora is impressive…”

You shook your head, calming down a bit.

Of course It was impressive. You were a fairy. You knew all the living beings of nature, you communicated with them. Marilyn seemed to be looking at your work with admiration, which made you blush a little.

You sighed in relief, too exaggeratedly. Marilyn noticed and frowned again, looking at you with some concern.

“Hey, honey, are you alright? You don't look very good,” she said to you, making the stupid gesture of caressing your cheek.

Her hand was warm on your face, but that sudden compassion only served to bring tears to your eyes.

“I… I…”

“(Y/N), where have you been? I've been waiting for you for a while,” a boy leaning out the door said. It was Roland, your boyfriend.

You lowered your head and nodded, glancing sideways at the redhead.

“It was my fault,” Marilyn said, pointing to herself playfully. Her smile faded from her face as she looked at you again.

You were shaking. You didn't want to go with him. You wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

You should have imagined that your parents didn't change your school by chance. Roland Wright was a fairy too, though a more mediocre one. You can't say that your parents wanted you to be happy. You had to be with him, they forced you to be with him.

You would have to marry him, have children… Perpetuate the species. To think about it terrified you. What your parents didn't count on is that you had no interest in boys. You liked girls since you were just a child. You told your parents, but they ignored it, they only care about your species, not you, or your feelings.

“Well, okay, let's go, (Y/N),” your boyfriend told you, fixing his eyes on you in a slightly threatening way. Of course he wasn't even a nice guy, he was possessive and made you feel deeply uncomfortable.

You sighed again, nodding, and walked slowly to the door.

“Wait, (Y/N),” Marilyn said, looking seriously at Roland. “Sorry, Wright, you'll have to wait a bit, we're not done yet.”

The boy's eyes darkened. He could have absolute control over you, but not over a teacher. Somehow that made you feel good. Nodding, not taking his eyes off of you, he left the conservatory.

“(Y/N),” The redhead said, crossing your arms. “Do you want to tell me something?”

It wasn't a casual question. She knew perfectly well what she was asking you. It was not something that was overlooked among the teachers, they all asked you those kinds of questions, but when you lied to them they left you alone. You had the feeling that it wouldn't be so easy with her, especially because you really loved her, you were crazy about her. You couldn't lie to her. Denying the love you felt for her was just a defense not to collapse.

“No…” You said, averting your gaze. Marilyn grabbed your arm roughly and pulled you so you were looking into her eyes.

“You are not okay. And I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with that boy,” she said, without being wrong.

You began to feel bad, causing a small flower that was on the desk to begin to wither. You shook your head as the tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You couldn't take it anymore.

“I don't love him,” you sobbed, breathing fast, feeling very nervous. Marilyn looked at you compassionately.

“Then why are you with him? You're worrying me, (Y/N),” she told you, rubbing your arm.

You completely collapsed, burying her face in her shoulder. She was still for a moment, but, doubting, she wrapped her arms around you, holding you close to her, lovingly.

“Calm down, honey... Talk to me, tell me what's going on. I just want to help you, (Y/N),” she whispered to you while she caressed you. You cried inconsolably, wetting her clothes with your tears. You felt so bad, but at the same time so good in her arms. You trusted her, you were her favorite student, she told you many times. Of course you never told her that she was your favorite teacher.

She moved away a bit and guided you to sit on a stool. The redhead reached down and wiped your tears, looking at you with pity.

“They… They don't understand…” You said, sobbing and hiccuping. Marilyn brushed your hair out of your face and raised her eyebrows.

“Who are they, honey?” She asked softly.

“My… My parents…” You said, trying to calm down to be able to explain better. She nodded for you to continue. “Fairies are becoming extinct and my parents want me to marry him to perpetuate the species.”

“That's horrible, (Y/N),” she sighed, wiping away more tears.

“I don’t want to. I don't care if I go extinct. He's mean, he doesn't treat me right and I don't even… I don't even…”

You stopped before rushing. You didn't believe in prejudice, but you still didn't know if it was a good idea to tell her about your preferences. It was the first time you told someone about your parents' absurd plan, and her caresses and her soft voice were making you feel much better.

“Not even…?” She asked.

Your legs began to shake. You wanted to tell her, but you didn't think you could. If by any chance that information reached your parents again, they would surely get you out of Nevermore, and they would call that doctor they threatened you with when you confessed. But you trusted her.

“I don't even like boys…” You whispered, in the lowest possible tone of voice.

Marilyn smiled, seemingly unimportant.

“Listen to me, (Y/N),”she told you, grabbing your hand and caressing it affectionately. That made your heart pound. “No one has the right to decide for you. You are free to do what you want, to be with who you want. They have no right to force you, you don't have to listen to them. Do you hear me?”

“I don’t have any other option. If I refuse, they will lock me up and force me to…” You couldn't continue, you broke down crying again.

Marilyn pulled you up and pulled you back into her arms.

“Shh… Don't cry, I'm here with you…” She whispered, rocking gently. “(Y/N), don't let them end your life, you have to be happy. You are a wonderful girl and I am sure that you will find a girl with whom you can be happy and forget about your parents.”

“I don't think so, no one pays attention to me. I'm Roland's girlfriend…” You said against her chest. She pushed you away and cupped your face in her hands, staring at you.

“That's not true, honey,” she told you, with a broken voice, you didn't know why. “If… If you weren't my student I will… I…”

You didn't understand those words. You didn't think they were possible. An illusion filled your soul. That little withered flower shone again with all its colors. You didn't know the intent behind those words, but Marilyn moved closer to you, closing her eyes.

You expected the impossible, you expected a kiss from her lips. You were devastated, depressed, but maybe a kiss would make you happy, just one. It never came. Marilyn sighed and moved away a bit, leaving you wondering, with an even more horrible regret than the one you already had.

“I… Well, I… You have to forgive me, but I have things to do,” she said, letting go of you and moving painfully away from you. “Now go, darling, and think about what I told you, please. Don't throw your life away.”

You nodded, deeply disappointed. Maybe you would have imagined it. The bright flower on the table told you that you don’t. She was going to kiss you, you were convinced.

Even so, her advice could not be fulfilled. The toxic Roland was always after you, forcing you to spend time with him. He hadn't even kissed you, you had always tried to avoid that moment, but the Rave'n dance was on Saturday and you were terribly afraid of what might happen.

With sadness you put on the white dress that your mother had bought you. She told you that you would look like a bride to him, that it would serve as a precedent for what would happen when the school year ended.

“Wow, (Y/N), you're hot,” your roommate told you, giving you an affectionate slap on your butt. You wanted to smile, but you couldn't. The Rave'n dance was a special occasion for everyone at Nevermore, the best night of the year. For you it was nothing like that, it was a passage to hell, a prelude to what your life would be like as a housewife, as a mother of five little fairies. You would be a wretch, a bitter one. You weren't even sure how long you could last with that boy, how violent he could get. It scared you, he scared you.

You would be a housewife who puts on makeup to cover her bruises, who would smile among her children, pretending that you are the happiest woman in the world. It was too much for a teenager like you, it was so unfair that you were sure no one could take it. You wouldn't, you were convinced.

He was waiting for you outside your room. Dressed in a ridiculous white suit, with a bow tie. He wasn't even handsome, although you couldn't be objective, you hated him, you hated him to death.

“You look very pretty, (Y/N), although I don't like seeing your cleavage at all, wait a minute.”

Pretending to be chivalrous, he took off his jacket, pulling it over your shoulders, covering what little bare skin your dress exposed. You sighed, you wanted to cry, to scream, but you didn't, you were afraid.

“(Y/N), I'm so glad to see you,” Marilyn said, while received the students at the ballroom door. She obviously ignored your partner. She looked you up and down and raised her eyebrows. “Are you cold?” She asked.

Your boyfriend's look told you that you shouldn't say no, but you waere in front of her, she was much more important. You shook your head, looking sad.

“Why are you wearing that hideous jacket over you?” She asked, taking off your boyfriend's jacket and handing it back to him with contempt. “Much better, you wear a beautiful dress.”

“Tha, thank you Ms. Thornhill,” you said, noticing how Roland started to pull at you, dragging you into the room.

The dance was not bad at first. You were able to escape from your boyfriend for a while, hanging out with your friends and enjoying music and drinks.

You even managed to forget about Roland. You were looking for the redhead. There she was, standing, talking to Principal Weems. She might be talking to her, but her eyes were always on you, as if she was watching you.

You smiled at her, she smiled back. You were so in love and you saw it so possible at that moment that your heart ached even more.

“Come, let's dance,” your boyfriend said, pulling you unpleasantly. You protested, but you let yourself be dragged, you didn't want problems.

You've never felt so uncomfortable, pretending to dance with that horrible boy. You had to fake a smile. His parents were friends of yours, if you did something bad against him, they would find out and you would wish you were never born.

The worst moment came right after. Roland moved closer to you, clearly intending to kiss you. You didn't want to be submissive. That attempted kiss with Marilyn made you gain some faith in yourself, some confidence. You pulled away when he went to kiss you. He glared at you and pulled you against his body, forcing you to kiss him.

You kicked, moved in every way you could, keeping his lips from touching yours. You screamed in pain as you felt a painful grip on your wrists.

“What the hell are you doing? Kiss me once and for all, (Y/N), you can't help it, you're mine!” He turned you around. No one seemed to notice the problem you were having. You felt alone, unprotected, while you put your hands on his face as best you could, pulling his away from yours.

“Stop resisting!” He yelled, hurting your wrists even more. You didn't think, you just wriggled out of his tight grip and slapped him hard across the face.

He glared at you, with real hatred, placing a hand on her wounded cheek.

“You're going to regret what you've done,” he told you, extending his hand towards you. Luckily he didn't manage to reach you.

“(Y/N), are you okay?” Marilyn told you, putting herself between you and the boy. You were nervous, attacked, terrified. That slap was going to cost you dearly. “Come with me, let's go, honey,” she said, taking you by the shoulder and guiding you out of that horrible scene.

The corridors were deserted, only your footsteps and your sobs could be heard. You didn't know where she was taking you, but you let yourself to be guided. She had saved you from something horrible. She was right, she protected you, you were safe with her. You were going to die of love and impotence.

“Come in, honey,” she told you, opening the door of what seemed to be her room. It definitely was, it was full of flowers.

When you entered, she followed you and closed the door behind you, staring at you, holding out her arms. You took the hint and rushed at them immediately, crying again, heartbroken, devastated.

“I... He was going to kiss me... I, I didn't want to and I... I hit him...” You sobbed, grabbing the fabric of her dress. She sighed and put her head against yours, holding you tight against her.

“I know, I've seen it all,” she whispered, helping you sit up on the bed. She sat next to you, not knowing quite what to say.

“I can't take it anymore Marilyn…” You cried, putting your head in your hands. “I can’t stand it…”

“Shhh, honey, it's over, it's over now, he can't hurt you here,” she told you, placing a hand on your back.

“I don’t want this. I don't deserve this.” You sobbed, leaning into her. “Please, help me…”

It was an empty plea. She couldn't do anything, just hold you and take care of you.

“Sweetheart, please. It hurts me to see you cry, to see you suffer,” she said, caressing your cheek.

“I feel that I am wasting away, Marilyn, that I am dying. I don't know what will become of me when I finish the school year. I, I don't want to live like this...”

“No, don’t say that. Please, you have to calm down,” she told you, very worried about your words. You remained still and silent.

You were so desperate that you decided to make one last freedom move, probably the last one you could ever make in your life. You turned a little to face her. Your eyes were red from crying, but your hands moved decisively, grasping hers. She didn't move, she just looked at you curiously when you got closer to delicately place your lips on hers.

It lasted only a moment, but it was the best of your life. You had nothing to lose, you were already lost. Nothing in your life could go worse. You had to risk it, finish what she started in the conservatory that afternoon.

You pulled away and opened your eyes, to see a confused but calm Marilyn. Her eyes twitched involuntarily, probably thinking about what had just happened.

“(Y/N)…” She sighed. Her voice wasn't annoying, it was soft, but doubtful.

“Sorry, I had to. My life will stop making sense soon and I didn't want to lose my will before doing that,” you commented, being totally honest.

“(Y/N), you…? Do you feel something for me?” She asked getting a little closer, now she was the one caressing your hands.

Resigned, you agreed. You wiped away your tears and were ready for the "you're too young, you're my student, it's wrong, we shouldn't, we can't" speech.

Those words did not come out of her mouth. Marilyn looked at you and raised her hand to your cheek, caressing it as she leaned in to kiss you again. It was a tender, soft, slow kiss. You opened your eyes, you couldn't believe it.

You pulled away after a few minutes, after enjoying those lips. You looked at her pleadingly, you wanted to sink into her kisses, you wanted to lose yourself in them and never return to the real world.

“My love... I never thought I could do this...” She whispered, kissing you again, caressing you vigorously, running her hands over your soft skin. “I like you a lot, (Y / N), I'm madly in love with you,” she confessed.

You opened her eyes and hugged her again, crying, this time with joy.

“Me too, Marilyn... I love you...” You sobbed in her arms, kissing her neck, her cheeks, everything you found in your way.

“We can't let them find out, darling. We have to be careful,” she told you, smiling tenderly, stopping your messy kisses.

You soon realized something important. Something that made you sink again. It's not that society or Nevermore’s own rules prevented you from having a relationship with her. It went beyond those banalities. You couldn't escape the fate your parents had in store for you. It was impossible to run away, you were doomed.

You only had that night, that night to enjoy the love of your life, a reciprocated, forbidden love. A love that would never be possible. You only had that night, you didn't want to lose it, you had to take advantage of it and you were very clear about how you wanted to do it.

You moved away from her kisses for a moment and stood up, finally stopping crying, adopting a safe and confident attitude. You were convinced of what you wanted. You slowly brought your hand to the zipper of your dress, pulling it down slowly. Marilyn gaped at you, shaking her head.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” She asked, smiling.

“Please. I just want to love you before my life becomes hell,” you said pleadingly, letting your dress fall to the floor. You weren't wearing a bra and your cheeks turned red exposing your half-naked body in front of her.

“Sweetie, no, it's not necessary, I don't want…”

“Please,” you sobbed, moving closer to her, bringing her hand to your chest. Another tear fell down your cheek. “I won't get another chance...”

“Honey, I…” She whispered, unable to avoid looking at you almost adoringly.

“I don't want him to be the first, I want to be you, I want it to be with someone who truly loves me. I don't want to throw my life away without knowing what it feels like, I beg you, Marilyn, make love to me...”

She didn't say anything, she just shook her head before you kissed her again, sitting on her lap. You really wanted it, you wanted to feel loved, desired. It couldn't be with anyone else. And it had to be that night. There would never be another chance.

The redhead seemed hesitant at first, not returning your kisses safely, but she soon hugged your bare back and lay down on the bed while she passionately kissed you, caressing your body.

“My love, you're so beautiful…” She whispered, letting herself be carried away by your desperate kisses, touching every inch of your skin with her hands.

Little by little you began to feel a warmth that you never felt. The desire invaded you completely, there was no room for compassion, only for love, a sincere and hungry love.

Her caresses were soft, delicate, she enjoyed your hands, your back, your breasts. She treated you so well that she made you feel in heaven. She was patient, she was slow, she enjoyed all your gasps, all your little moans that you made when her hand reached between your legs.

“Are you sure, my love?” She whispered to you, on top of you, with her fingers touching your moisture, about to become your first, about to become an unforgettable woman for you.

You nodded desperately and ignored the little sting you felt when her fingers finally entered you. It was ephemeral, not as uncomfortable as your companions said. For you it was special, it was the best feeling you had ever had. Even the little plants in the room seemed to enjoy around you. You were so happy that you didn't even think about the pain in your wrists. You only thought of her, you only felt her.

You screamed, forcing Marilyn to kiss you to shut you up. Some unknown cramps for you began to cause soft convulsions in your hips. You were on the cusp of pleasure and happiness. She was so good, so delicate, and she made you feel things you didn't think possible.

You couldn't talk when she undressed. For you she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her entire body was divine, enviable by any goddess. You didn't know what to do, you were ashamed of your zero experience. She didn't care. She was your guide, she told you where you had to touch her, how you had to do it, how you had to kiss each part of her body. You thought it wasn't possible, but you felt even better than being the one loving her.

You were sweating, you were exhausted, hugging your lover under the sheets, naked, breathing hard, feeling an endless love.

You rested on her chest while she protected you with her arms. Marilyn was much more than the woman of your life. Marilyn was everything. Away from her, life ended for you.

Gently her caresses passed through your arms. She didn't say anything, she was silent, looking at the wall of her room. You didn't know what she was thinking, but you didn't care.

When her hand passed over your wrist, you pushed it away, hissing in pain. She looked up at you, frowning, and grabbed it carefully trying to figure out why she had hurt you.

You immediately wriggled out of her grasp. It wasn't a night for compassion, you didn't want to feel miserable. She was more abrupt, grabbing your arm again and pulling it closer without you being able to stop it.

“My God…” She whispered, scared when she saw the bruises that Roland had given you hours ago. “(Y/N), has he done this to you?” You didn't want to answer, you just took her hand away and hid it in the sheets. “Answer me!” She yelled angrily. Her eyes were dark, filled with rage. You ended up nodding, burying yourself in her chest and shedding more tears on her bare skin.

“It's over, (Y/N). This is going to end,” she said, without looking at you, pressing you against her chest. You felt safe in her arms, you didn't even think about her words. “I cannot allow this, (Y/N). He will pay for what he has done, I promise you my girl, I promise you.”

The next day you saw things differently. You didn't come out of your room. You were happy, but you didn't want to meet Roland, you even turned off your phone. You didn't want to think about anything except last night, your first time, your first time with the woman you loved.

You couldn't tell it to your Nevermore friends, but you could tell it to other types of colleagues.

You went to the forest, feeling calm, relaxed. You lay down on the cool grass, waiting for the little animals that lived there to come over to see you. You fairies had lost many abilities over the generations, but fortunately you hadn't lost your connection to nature.

You spent hours wandering with squirrels and deer. Talking about your love came true. You didn't count your misfortunes for once, for once you were happy, even if it was a fleeting feeling, which had limited time.

When you wanted to realize it, the sun was already behind the mountains, disappearing little by little.

“Shit, I have to go now,” you said, getting up from the ground and saying goodbye to your peculiar friends.

You almost jumped back to the grounds of Nevermore. You felt so happy that you forgot a piece of advice your grandmother gave you: "Danger lurks around every corner."

“Hello, (Y/N),” a voice behind you said. You knew that voice. Roland. Your legs began to shake and you slowly turned around.

“Ro, Roland…” You stammered, taking small steps back.

“Do you think you could avoid me forever, (Y/N)? I told you that you would regret what you have done,” he told you threateningly, approaching you.

“Leave me alone!” You yelled, steeling yourself. “No, I don't want to continue with you. I don't love you, I hate you!”

His eyes flashed with fury as he lunged at you, grabbing the collar of your shirt tight. You wanted to scream, ask for help, but you were paralyzed by fear.

“You're stupid,” he hissed, lifting you off the ground. “I don't care if you don't love me. You're mine, that's how our parents agreed. If you don't accept for good, it will be for bad.”

You spat in disgust in his face, making him boil with rage.

“Very well, the hard way then,” he said, raising his fist at you. You closed your eyes waiting for the painful impact. It never arrived.

A roar from the forest sounded very close to you. A monstrous creature, resembling a shadow, lunged at Roland, knocking him to the ground and making you fall as well.

You couldn't see that monster clearly, but you could see what it was doing. Roland screamed in terror as that monster clawed hard at him, tearing into his chest. The enraged creature tore the boy apart, turning him into a bloody, limp body. Roland was no longer screaming, he was not moving. He was dead.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, staring in horror at that scene. The creature turned, staring at you. It was your turn, you were sure.

“Roland?” You asked, knowing it was impossible for the boy to answer.

Everything happened very quickly, but immediately a great relief ran through your body. Roland was gone, he was gone forever. He wouldn't bother you anymore. You shouldn't have felt good, but you did, you didn't even think about those scary eyes staring back at you. If you were going to die, you were glad you saw that idiot die first.

The monster approached you. It seemed as if it wanted to appear calm. You swallowed when you could feel its breath on your face.

“What are you?” You asked, after noticing that it didn't want to hurt you. You could communicate with all the creatures, feel their thoughts. You couldn't with that. It was a creature of evil, and your kind nature did not allow you to understand it.

The creature roared softly before giving you a hard lick across the face. You closed your eyes and couldn't help but smile at that unexpected display of affection. Then it waved at you, looking like it was pointing its claws at the Nevermore building.

“What do you want?” You asked. The monster seemed nervous, but it pointed at you, and back at the building. “Do you want me to come back to Nevermore?” Its profuse nod showed you that it was precisely what it wanted.

You looked for the last time at the mangled body of your boyfriend and you ran away from the place.

The entire school was shocked by Roland's murder. You shut up, you didn't say anything. That hideous creature did you a favor, it did a good thing for you. You were nervous and had a hard time getting that image out of your head, but being with Marilyn again made you stop feeling guilty. She smiled at you and for the first time you were able to return the smile without pretending. You had gotten rid of your misfortune, now you believed that a future with her was possible.

“(Y/N),” Weems said, peeking through the conservatory door, where you were spending the afternoon with your beloved redhead. You looked at her and nodded. You weren't stupid enough to give clues to your relationship, no one suspected it. “Here, this letter from your parents has arrived,” she said approaching you and handing you an envelope.

“Thank you,” you said, looking at the letter curiously.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Larissa asked, with a concerned tone.

“No, why?” You asked, opening the envelope. You should have imagined it.

“Well, because you suffered a terrible loss two days ago. I don't want to pressure you but if you need to talk to someone I remind you that you can go see…”

“Dr. Kinbott, I know,” you said, reading the contents of that letter, horrified. Larissa sighed and looked at Marilyn.

“Please, Marilyn, take care of her… I think she's not well,” she whispered before leaving. The redhead nodded, closing the door.

Everyone was looking at you weird. Your boyfriend had been brutally murdered and you didn't seem to care. You were in an even better mood, until you read that letter.

You shook your head, feeling tears in your eyes again.

“No, no, no, no…” You said to yourself. “No! Fuck!” You yelled. Marilyn's eyes widened in fright and she grabbed your hands to calm you down.

“Calm down, (Y/N), tell me what's going on,” she told you softly. You were nervous and furious, you weren't even able to say anything. You simply limited yourself to giving the letter to the redhead, which she read carefully.

“Oh, my God…” She whispered, frowning.

Just when you thought you would never be sad again, your parents would arrive with that horrible letter. The next day they would go to Nevermore, to pick you up. With Roland's death, it no longer made sense to them for you to remain there. You were devastated, depression returned to your heart.

You spent crying in her arms all afternoon.

You couldn't believe how much your parents despised you. First they force you to go to Nevermore, to be that horrible guy's girlfriend. Now they want to get you out of there, from the only place where you could be happy at that time. They wanted to get you away from her, far away from her. And you couldn't do anything.

You cried in your bed, looking at the moon through the window, knowing that it was the last night you would spend there. There was no Marilyn, she told you that with all the pain in her heart, she could not grant you the send-off you deserved. You were so devastated that even hiding in the woods seemed like a better idea.

The familiar creak of the door interrupted your dark thoughts. You couldn't see who was coming into your room. You could only distinguish a shadow that was approaching your roommate with something in its hand.

Your friend woke up and looked at that strange figure, who grabbed her pajamas, moving a hand to her neck.

“What the…?” She asked, falling on the bed immediately after. You got up and turned on the light on your bedside table. What you saw left you stunned.

Marilyn, your lover, wearing gloves and a black coat, was there, together with your roommate, who seemed to be sleeping soundly. The redhead turned to you and smiled at you.

“(Y/N), my love, get up, we have to go now,” she told you, kissing you briefly on the lips. You shook your head. Of course you didn't understand anything.

“What?” You said hoarsely. “What happened to Gina?”

“Shh, lower your voice. Your friend is fine, honey, I just put her to sleep,” she said, sitting on the bed.

“I, I don't understand anything… What are you doing here?” You asked, blinking rapidly in case it was a dream, a very strange one.

“Dear. I have been thinking and I have decided that I am not going to allow you to return to your parents,” she said, caressing you in that sweet way that only she was capable of.

“But…”

“Shh… Let me explain it to you, please,” she told you, putting a finger on your lips. “I have not been the person you think, my love. I came here to close a horrible chapter in my past. I was thinking of doing something terrible, (Y/N),” she explained to you, you nodded, incredulous.

“Something terrible?”

“I thought that it could be the solution, that it would give me peace. Everything changed when I met you, (Y/N). You have upset all my plans, you have made me forget all my bad thoughts. I can't give you much, but I can help you to be happy, to be happy, you and me. (Y/N), do you want to come with me? Do you want to get out of here and live a life together?”

You didn't think about the horrible things she mentioned. You only had that proposition in your head. You would have to leave your friends, your studies, although not forever. Your whole life would change, but you would be away from your parents, you would be with her.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you said repeatedly, kissing her messily. “Please, Marilyn, get me out of here.”

She stopped you and smiled, before passionately kissing you again. Your roommate made a strange noise and the redhead looked at you, this time with a bit of fear.

“Hurry up, honey, pack everything you need. We're leaving right now.”

You didn't know where you were going, but you did know you wanted to. You quickly put everything you needed in two suitcases and left the room.

Marilyn was driving her little beetle out of Jericho. You looked at her with illusion, while you caressed her hand that she had free. You were going to live the life you wanted, you couldn't believe it.

“I'm so happy, Marilyn. I can't believe what we're doing. It's like a dream come true.”

“Believe it, my love. I'm going to make you the happiest girl in the world.”

You smiled and leaned carefully on her shoulder. You breathed easy for the first time in your life.

“By the way, (Y/N)…” The redhead sighed, looking at you briefly. “Laurel. My real name is Laurel.”

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #ms thornhill #oneshot #laurel gates #smut

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