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lustfulslxt · 5 months

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hi hi! "local" anon here, and i just had a rlly good idea that ik you will deliver perfectly.

matt "accidently" sends reader a d pick and she's all flustered but just doesn't say anything, until like the next day when they all like go out to dinner and everyone's in their own conversation. she just brings it up like, "so what was that pic you sent last night?" and he knows EXACTLY what she's talking about, but is all like "huh? what?"

but then, later that night, she ends up sending a risky pic of her own and then he just texts her saying to like 'come over immediately' or he's coming over to her house and then yk what!!

again, i love your writing and i know you will NOT disappoint with this!! Love you ! 😘

Take The Risk - Matt Sturniolo

warnings : spicy pics and smuttt

a/n : finally!! am i right?? pls look the other way if this is shit, like actually fr.. lmaoooo

—

“This is actually impossible. I’m gonna die of old age before I finish this thing.” I groan to myself, letting my head fall forward onto the table.

It’s been weeks of me staring at all of these pieces, all the exact same, aside from the shape. I’m determined to complete it. I lift my head up, an irregular piece slowly falling from my forehead.

“Who came up with this shit? Why are they so against me?” I ask no one in particular, seeing as I’m completely alone.

I’m convinced whoever created this was just trying to spite me. I can never back of out a challenge, they had to have known that. It’s been hours since I first sat down to work on it today, I am bored out of my mind, but I still can’t put the pieces down. Just as I’m about to toss my head back and cry from frustration, I realize I only have five pieces left. I jump forward, laying them all out in front of me, studying their pattern and the way they could all fit together. It takes maybe another ten minutes before I finally get it.

The last asymmetrical piece, snaps into place, completing the array of silver configuration. Twenty two days, six hundred fifty four pieces later. There she sits, in all her glory. Silver (Krypt), the hardest jigsaw puzzle to solve. This puzzle has no pictures, instead, it simply consists of hundreds of silver pieces, with a circular center and surrounding pieces making the finished jigsaw a plain rectangle. I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this thing.

“Never back down, never what?!” I exclaim, jumping up from my seated position, only now realizing how bad my posture is from the ache in my back. I reach my hand around, holding my back as I groan, “Fuck.”

Straightening up, I grab my phone and immediately snap a picture of the completed puzzle. I just have to show Matt, he’s going to be thrilled. I send the photo to him on snapchat, then head to my kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and a bag of chips to snack on, then go upstairs to relax in my bedroom. Once I put my show on the TV, I notice a notification from Matt.

Matty B

NO WAY YOU FINISHED IT

I DID

Matty B

only took you a month lmao

BYE

it was hard asf 👹

Matty B

me too

UM EXCUSE ME

Matty B

whattt

myb

🌚 you can’t just say that then b like ‘mY bAd’

Matty B

i didn’t mean it

Matty B

congrats on finishing the puzzle tho

now i don’t have to listen to you complaining about the creator being against you

blocked.

Matty B

LMFAO

bro. i was joke

awesome to hear bro

I roll away from my phone, grabbing my chips to eat while I watch TV. An hour goes by, before I make my way to the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth, then strip into my pajamas to finally go to sleep. Walking back into my room, I grab my phone to check one last time. As I plug my charger into it, I notice a snapchat from Matt. Upon opening it, my jaw drops.

There, on my screen, is a picture of a dick. Matt’s dick; fully erect, veins dancing alongside it, the tip pink with dribbles of precum. His hand sits at the base, unintentionally giving me a visual comparison of the size, and boy, it’s something. I can’t help but lick my lips at the sight, before snapping out of it and realizing my best friend just sent me a picture of his cock.

I’m at a loss for words. I can’t even think properly, far from being able to articulate a response. So, I just lock my phone and lay down. Yet, every time I close my eyes, I see his dick staring back at me, begging to be touched. I can feel the arousal building in me, my walls now clenching around nothing. Tossing and turning, attempting to ignore the growing desire, I deeply sigh. It’s going to be a long night.

I look at my phone screen, observing myself in my front camera. I’m currently about to walk into the restaurant where I’m having dinner with Matt, Nick, Chris, Nate, and Madi. I haven’t addressed the picture Matt sent me yesterday, and he hasn’t brought it up either, but it’s still lingering in my mind.

Putting my phone away, I lock my car and strut towards the entrance of the restaurant. Upon entering, a hostess greets me and directs to the table where my friends reside.

“Y/N!” Nate cheers, causing the rest of them to look over at me, smiles appearing on all of their faces.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m a little late.” I apologize, scooting in next to Matt.

“You’re all good, I ordered your drink already.” Matt informs me, “They should be coming around shortly.”

I smile, “Thanks, Matty.”

Within five minutes, we all receive our drinks and order our food. While waiting on our meals, we resume light conversation. However, I cannot stop thinking about the picture Matt sent me. Every time I look at him, I feel my heart beat faster and my breath gets caught in my throat. Are we just going to forget about it? Is that what he expects? I can’t just forget.

As the other four indulge in their own conversations, I notice Matt is silent, so I use this as my chance to confront him about it.

“Matt?” I call out, loud enough for him to hear me, yet quiet enough so the others don’t.

His directs his attention to me, softly humming in response as his eyebrows raise, expectantly.

“Um, about yesterday..” I trail off, attempting to read his body language.

I see him slightly tense up, clearing his throat as he looks at me, feigning confusion, “What?”

I give him a pointed look, “That picture you sent last night.”

He looks around as if trying to rack his brain, his eyebrows furrowing as he shrugs, “What are you talking about?”

I sigh, coming to a realization that I’m going to get nowhere with this. He knows what I’m talking about. I know he knows, I can see it all over him. Two can play at that game.

I clearly my throat and shake my head, “Actually nothing, forget about it.”

For the rest of the evening, we don’t speak on that topic again. We all just enjoy our food and the company of each other.

After dinner, I arrive home and immediately head to the bathroom for a shower. The entire night, my mind has been stuck on Matthew, wishing we talked about it, longing for more. We’ve never been anything other than friends, but he lit something in me, a fire that I can’t seem to put out. Should I call him over it? Should I do what he did to me?

After getting dressed in nothing but a black lingerie set, I sit in front of my bedroom mirror. I do look good, but should I really do this? Just take a picture and send it? I give myself another once over, before deciding to turn around and lean forward, snapping a quick photo.

I don’t know how much time has passed as I sit there, staring at my screen. My fingers hover over the picture, unsure of what to say, or if I should say anything at all. Taking a deep breath, I full send, then quickly put my phone down, suddenly ridden with more anxiety as I anticipate his response.

Hopefully I’m not reading more into this situation than what it is. Surely Matt is just playing hard to get. If he didn’t mean to send the picture, he would’ve just said that, right? I try to convince myself that he’s just being a tease, but the more I think about it, the more the pit in my stomach grows. After what feels like forever, I reach for my phone and my immediately face falls.

Opened 12 minutes ago.

Before I can even think a single thought, knocks on my front door sound throughout the silent atmosphere. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I grab my black silk robe and slip it on while walking towards the door. Peeking through the peephole, I see Matt standing there, looking antsy. I freeze, my hand stuck on the doorknob, unable to complete the motion of turning it. I toss my head back, taking a deep breath, before pulling the door open. His eyes light up once he sees me, his gaze flickering over my figure before he makes his way inside.

Within seconds, his lips are on mine, needy and desperate. Taking a few seconds to get over the initial shock, my lips move against his, my hands looping around his neck as his hands pull me in closer by my waist. Without removing his lips from mine, he kicks the door shut and walks me backwards, towards my couch.

As soon as my legs hit the side, he pulls back and asks, “Is this okay?”

I eagerly nod, “More than okay.”

A small grin pulls to his lips before they’re back on mine, kissing me with so much hunger. His hands grope at every one of my curves, squeezing and kneading my skin. His hands suddenly grab my robe, pulling it down my arms and letting it fall behind me, before he pulls away and takes in my appearance once again. He licks his lips and tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, and I can see the bulge stiffening in his pants.

“Fuck, you’re so fine.” He groans, pulling me back into him.

His hands forcefully grab my face and he slams his lips onto mine once again, pulling our bodies flush together. My hands tread through his hair, tugging as he turns my head to the side and moves his mouth to work down my jaw to my neck. His breath is hot against my skin, his tongue licking and his teeth biting. I can feel my arousal pool in between my legs, and I have to squeeze them together to relieve the tension. His hands travel down to my ass, tightly squeezing and massaging it, only making me more wet as I let out a soft moan.

He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine, “What do you want, baby?”

I lick my lips, letting out a breath, “You. I want you, Matt.”

Instantly, he pulls his shirt off and comes back to me, pressing his lips on mine again. I reach behind my back, unhooking my bra and letting it fall down my arms and onto the floor. His hands immediately make their way to my boobs, and I’m melting in his palms. He grips them tenderly yet firm, pulling more moans from me. He leans forward and takes one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking on it as he pinches the opposite one.

The desire in me grows stronger with every touch he graces me with. He knows what he’s doing, and I’m weak in the knees because of it. Kissing me with so much passion and lust, his fingers slip into the waistband of my bottoms, pulling them down with ease, only breaking the kiss to fully remove them. My hands tug at his pants, wanting him to take those off as well, which he does, along with his boxers. We’re left standing, completely naked, and hungry for one another.

He places a couple of soft kisses against my lips, before quickly spinning me around and bending me over the side of the couch. His hands travel down my back, applying just the right amount of pressure, causing me to clench in anticipation. His fingers dig into the skin of my ass, jiggling it, and gripping it with enough strength to surely leave bruises. One of his hands breaks away from me, only to come right back with extreme speed and force. I yelp, jerking forward at the feeling of his hand colliding with my bare skin, a moan soon following as he rubs the place he smacked.

“Just wanna make you feel good, baby.” He whispers against my ear, his fingers trailing between my legs, running over my core.

I let out a whimper, pushing back against his hand for more, but his other hand places a firm hold on my back, keeping me in place. His fingers run through my folds, becoming slick with my wetness, causing him to let out a groan. His fingertips rub my clit in slow and soft circles, adding more pressure and speed with every second, leaving me quivering with moans.

“Mm, such a good girl.” He praises, sinking two fingers into my entrance, ripping a loud moan from my mouth.

“Just wanna be a good girl for you.” I find myself saying in between the whimpers of pleasure.

His pace increases, his fingers pumping in and out of me while his other hand runs up and down my back. I could feel the orgasm building so quickly, begging for release. His hand moves from my back, and starts tracing circles onto my clit once more, his fingers inside me going even faster. My legs start shaking and I’m now putting all my weight onto the couch, way too weak to stand on my own.

“So wet.” Matt mumbles in delight at the sound of his fingers in my juices, “Bet you taste so good.”

“F-fuck, feels so good.” I moan, shuddering as he increases his speed even more. “Gon-gonna cum.”

“Let go, baby.”

His fast movements and the sound of his raspy voice fuel my orgasm, my climax falling upon me quickly. I clench around his fingers, letting myself go and cum all over his hands. He continues finger fucking me, letting me ride out my high. He removes his hands from me and I look back in time to see him sucking all of my juices off of his fingers. The sight alone had me clenching again, eager for more.

“I knew it.” He moans against his fingers, “Taste like I could eat you forever.”

I stand back up on shaky legs, turning to face him and pulling him into a deep kiss, our tongues intertwining and exploring each other’s mouth. His hand comes up to my throat, gently squeezing it, pulling me closer, before pulling us apart altogether.

“We’re not done yet, my sweet girl.” He smirks against my lips, turning me back around and laying me over the couch once again.

He wraps his hand around his dick, stroking it a few times, then runs it through my folds, causing me to shake from the sensitivity. Without a word, he places one hand on my lower back and slowly slides himself in my entrance.

A high pitched moan falls from my lips as he groans, tossing his head back, “Fuck. Been wanting this forever, baby. Feel better than I’ve ever imagined.”

I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, sliding backwards to take all of him in me. He moans loudly, tightly gripping my hips. He holds me in place as he starts thrusting, digging deeper into me with every pump. His strokes get faster and harder, our skin slapping together as I become a moaning mess. My whole body shakes with every movement of his, my face buried into the sofa, muffling my sounds as he fucks me. My legs tremble as he hits exactly where I need him, and I instantly begin clenching around him.

His hand wraps around my hair in a makeshift ponytail and tugs my head back, “I wanna hear your pretty moans, baby. You like the way I fuck you?”

“Mmm, yes. I love it-” I sound out, breathless from the pleasure. “You fuck me s-so good.”

His thrusts quicken and his grip on my hip tightens. The knot in my stomach continues growing, proving my statement to be true. I’ve never been fucked like this, and I can’t help but think about how I’m so glad I sent him that picture.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good wrapped around my cock, taking me so well. My good girl.” He moans, his hips sputtering.

The pressure in my stomach becomes too much and it’s hard holding it in, my hands gripping the cushions beneath me. He leans forward, his hands intertwining with mine as his lips trail open mouth kisses up and down my back. I can’t help the moans that keep pouring from my mouth, feeling nothing but pure bliss.

“I can feel you clenching around me.” He whispers in my ear, “Cum on my cock, so I can fill you up, pretty girl.”

With that, I let go. My entire body shakes as pornographic moans fall from my lips, my pussy clenching around him so tightly. His strokes become erratic and his moans and groans are louder than before. He quickens his pace as he chases his high, instantly filling me up with a loud raspy moan emitting from his mouth. He continues thrusting into me, pushing his cum deeper. He leans back, standing up straight as we both catch our breaths. His hands find my back once again, softly massaging it. He pulls out, my legs twitching from the stimulation. His hands move down to my ass, gently squeezing it, before he helps me up.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, turning me to face him, keeping his hands around my waist for support.

“Like we should’ve done that a long time ago.” I grin, still breathless.

“We can always make up for lost time.” He grins, placing his forehead on mine.

I nod as we both laugh before he places a few kisses on my cheeks and lips. His hand grabs mine and he pulls me even more into him, capturing my lips in a deep but loving kiss.

“Let’s take a shower, so I can clean you up.” He suggests.

My face heats up and I nod once more, following him upstairs as he never lets my hand go.

Our friendship just changed entirely and I can’t wait for what’s in store for us, because I know it’s going to be euphoric.

—

a/n : tadaaa!!! ugh i hope this wasn’t shit, it’s been forever :((( lmk what you think! requests are closed bc i have wayyy too many that i need to catch up on, but i’m hoping i can get back into it! love uu <333

#lustfulslxt #joss speaks #sturniolo triplets #sturniolos #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo #imagine #sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic

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hanniluvi · 10 months

Text

💭 — RICKY AS YOUR BOYFRIEND !

SOPH — tysm for the two anons that requested this! sorry for the delay, i was trying to do a bunch of reqs at once but got carried away due to some school work </3 (yes i have summer hw im suffering). hope you enjoy these though!

GENRE — fluff, angst if you squint | WARNINGS — lower case intended, 2nd pov, and that’s it?

— he seems the type to play it cool in a relationship but is actually a MESS. like what should he do? should he be flirting with you? should you guys be doing anything? besides that cool face, this mind is racking ideas of what he should do and what’s best for the relationship. anything for you!!

— i don’t think ricky could ever get mad at you. like maybe jokingly mad or being frustrated but that’s all. i don’t think he really likes conflict and tries fixing it. thing is, he may give silent treatment just so he could talk to myself on how to solve an argument between you two.

— now, ricky may forget a lot of things, but he never forgets anything about you! anyone can ask something about you, and he’s like a walking google about you. ik he whips his head if he hears your name come out of any of the member’s mouth. they can call him a simp for all he cares — he knows it’s true anyways.

— “you know ricky, you don’t know a lot of stuff of me compared to your partner.” “gyuvin yeah, cause you’re not yn.” “i get that but come on, how could you forget my favorite food?” “oh sorry, i forgot.” “ricky i’ll beat you up—” “yn!!!”

— he would get excited over little gifts you give him. he’s used to being the gift giver, so seeing you get him something just seems ten time more valuable than those luxury brands. probably shows it off to the others. “bet you don’t have this,” LMFAO hes so silly

— the type to send pics of himself or sweet msgs to you when he misses you. and he js plays it off with “i bet you miss me so here you go.” in reality, he just misses you and just wants to hear sweet things from you :( <3

— boy he LOVES strawberries. so he probably buys you strawberry items so that you can be reminded of him. let’s say his obsession can get out of hand, but who doesn’t love cute strawberry items???

— i feel like he would prefer a more private relationship?? but that doesn’t work out since he acts SOOO different around you. so when he announces that you two are dating, the others aren’t surprised whatsoever.

— pretty clueless so would ask you for help because it’s “you two getting along” he says. he would find any excuse to be with you at all times and just wouldn’t mind acting a little clueless.

— if there’s any language barriers, i feel like he’d try his best to communicate with you as best as he can. sure, he wants to give up at some times, but he remembers you, the main cause of his motivation. so he’d study really hard for you :)

— ricky isn’t always as open with his thoughts as he think he is. sometimes, he may isolate himself, just because there’s a lot on his mind. so that’s when you step in! give him comfort and offer to listen bc that’s all what he needs!

— secretly likes physical touch but won’t flat out admit it. he wouldn’t pretend he hates it either, he just lets it happen. secretly smiles when you suddenly become clingy around him. he likes you initiating it first because he doesn’t want to be annoying or a bother to you when he needs affection </3

— the longer you’re in a relationship with him, the more comfortable he is with you. and that’s a good thing! but he still gets flustered over small acts you do for him.

— partner privilege is probably a thing.

— would love showing you off :’) he’s just really glad yours is and sometimes can’t believe it himself. which is why he may just catch himself be quiet and admire you <3

💭 — in bloom already has two wins 🙏 so proud of them <3

ZB1 PERM TAGLIST — @dwcljh @ilovewonyo @jiawji @tzyuki @kpoprhia @flamiricky @misoxhappy @lluvjjun @zzzhoonie

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funtheysaid · 11 days

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IWTV 2x01 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- That title card for Delainey felt very stage play to me (ahhh I adore the theatrical elements for this season)

- Ooh I love the idea that vamps can take on the emotions of whosever blood they’re drinking - it’s like the vampire equivalent of when werewolves can smell ppl’s emotions and fears through chemosignals (a la Teen Wolf iykyk)

- “Disregard” is the funniest shit ever 😂 Oldmaniel they could never make me hate you

- There’s a Real Rashid OMFG ??? Lol imagine he’s not actually Rashid and they pull one over on us again I’d fucking shit myself

- “Your love was in a box” OH MY GOD EAT HIM UP DANNY BOY

- OMG OMG LOUSTAT ITS HAPPENIGN ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE SHUT UP

- I MISS YOU TOO LESTAT

- “Quite fucked” 😏😏😏

- “mon amour” “mon cher” “love” IM GOING TO EXSANGUINATE MYSELF ISTG

- The singular finger on Louis’ chin 🥲 so delicate so soft so bad for my mental health

- I like Emilia

- “They are not used to seeing man with good looks” OKAY I know they’re just racists BUT she also wasn’t lying bc beautiful Louis is canon god bless you Jacob Anderson

- Lol Morgan a little fruity

- OOH memory is a monster! They be redoing scenes as Louis “fixes” his memories !!!! That’s gonna show up again for sure :))))

- “Stupid Halloween costume” Daniel Molloy the brat that you are (is okay, Armand likes brats) *cough cough*

- I’ve never seen someone *elegantly* close an iPad before. Armand, you have bewitched me.

- The fucking sexual tension between DM is stifling 🥵😶‍🌫️ Um if this is us “not getting Devil’s Minion” then I think imma be okay

- Claudia pushing the little racist boy 🤪🥹 we can’t help but to stan

- WTF AMC you can’t just jumpscare me with a Grace photograph :’)))

- “UP YOUR BUM” EXCUSE ME MORGAN I KNEW YOU WERE FRUITY BUT SIRRRR?

- so the makeup department really put their whole sfxussies into that decrepit ass abomination

- Louis: Alexa, play Mr. Steal Your Girl by Trey Songz

- Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S1: ☺️🍭👼 Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S2: 😖🤢😟

- I’m dubbing Louis “The Rat Prince”

- “If he can’t take you ballroom dancing and call you pretty” ICONIC.

- “the motherfucker” it’s on sight Bruce or Killer or whatever the fuck your name was 🤕🥊

- “her hand twitched like yours would” why was that line lowkey out of pocket. My mans has Parkinson’s Louis !!!!

- SHE DREAMS 😭 MY FUCKING GOD STOP MY EYES ARE GONNA BE PUFFY WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW

- that wasn’t even acting that was some REAL shit. Get Jacob Anderson his Emmy or Oscar or Tony or whatever the fuck I just need him to be awarded for his talent

- Daniel’s soft compassionate side: rare but that much more meaningful when it makes an appearance

- LOUIS you did not just do Emilia dirty like that TF!?! She helped you dude.

- “Human affairs. Their problem.” Not you listening to Lestat now of all times

- “Catfish with teeth” Louis can really read a bitch to filth can’t he?

- AHHH THERE ARE TWO OF THE FUCKERS 👹👹

- Oh shit he’s a kid okay I’m sorry for calling you an abomination earlier. That was mean.

- Woman vampire, you standing precariously close to that fire 👀

- Delainey’s facial expressions are the perfect blend of innocent and slightly unsettling

- OPP INTO THE FIRE SHE GOES rip 🔥

- What the hell is a bacon triptych am I just stupid don’t answer that

- Armand you ain’t beating the iPad kid allegations

- “It’s his drug” He said that with such malice. Is this a “he needed me but he needed drugs more” plot line???

- So Dubai Loumand is chilly frigid tepid frosty glacial

- Free feet? Okay im sorry

- “We can have him saying what happened next in no time” okay wait hold up why you making it sound like YOU don’t know what happened next and you need him to tell you???

- oh danny boy whistling while the couple he’s counseling walks in… is this a comedy or ?

- Daniel: yeah? 🤓 Armand: yeah 🫦

- “the mother of New Orleans” oh he misses home

- LMFAO Daniel interrupting Armand before he can start soliloquizing

- Louis and Claudia in a truck full of art which they belong in bc they too are pieces of art to me

- hard words. soft words. 🥺

- “a shit life beats no life” god damn this monologue feels like Louis is speaking directly to my soul

- “as long as you walk the earth I’ll never taste the fire” If this is foreshadowing I- I- I don’t know what I’ll do but it’s going to involve a baseball bat and a waffle iron and my head

- “it would be enough” pan to Lestat 💀 you can’t be fucking serious right now you just cannot

- okay it’s over and the teaser for the season just started playing and I just have to shout out the score bc damn if those violins don’t get me every god damn time

(Stutter) That’s all, folks! 🐷👋

#amc iwtv #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #loustat #iwtv season 2 #louis de pointe du lac #iwtv armand #iwtv claudia #iwtv s2 spoilers #iwtv spoilers #iwtv 2x01 #loumand #iwtv premiere

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eyelessfaces · 8 months

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OK SO I was listening to Chappel Roan and the song “casual” came on and holy shit… I’m having ideas like-

“My friends call me a loser cause I’m still hanging around” like you and Llewyn run in different circles and when your friends realize you’re hooking up with this homeless folk singer who clearly doesn’t care all that much for you they have some obvious concerns but you’re just so deep into it that you can’t get out, even though you know Llewyn doesn’t treat you the best or think of you as anything besides a quick fuck and a couch to sleep on

“You said ‘we’re not together’ so now when we kiss I have anger issues” like you’re putting so much time and effort into him, making sure he feels safe and comfortable with you and he’s just an asshole and you know he’s using you but you can’t help how much you care for him and how much you’re attracted to him and you just can’t stop even though you know it’ll only end badly

“Knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?” like you can’t help but think about it every time you’re together, how adamant he is that this isn’t anything real but he’s in your bed more often than not even if he’s gone before you wake up or makes his way back to you couch afterwards and obviously y’all are getting it on any place any time because you have no self control and you feel awful afterwards but you just can’t stop

“And I try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space” like you know what he needs and maybe you’re younger than him and you’re desperately trying to be like those cool older girls but you’re just not because you care too much to be so nonchalant all the time and you genuinely want him to be happy even if that means he’s not with you

“I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner, your parents at the table, you wonder why I’m bitter” like maybe you go out with him somewhere and run into his friends and you can tell he’s obviously a little embarrassed that you’re meeting them because you’re so different and you’re younger but when he drags you from the table it’s to the bathroom and you hate how eager you are

“I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself” like eventually you cut it off and realize that as much as you care for him he doesn’t care about you so you distance yourself and you feel awful for weeks and weeks but eventually your life gets better and you find a good person who treats you well and introduces you to his friends and isn’t embarrassed to hold your hand in public and maybe one night you run into Llewyn and he sees you with this new guy and his regret is obvious but you’re not even going to entertain that idea because you know you deserve better

Anyway, I love pain and I love making my blorbos suffer (and like as much as I love and adore my sad little kitten man we all know he’s lowkey a bitch lmao but I still love him) and the whole entire song fits but I just wanted to highlight some of my fav lyrics and also otherwise this would be so long and it’s already long bahahaha

no because what hurts the most about this is that HE WOULD. HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD.

realistically if I existed in the inside llewyn davis universe I would be his victim lmfao I'm 100% sure about that

funfact I listened to the song before reading your whole ask and I knew this would hurt but NOT THAT MUCH you somehow managed to make this worse. 😭this broke me why would you do this to me I didn't expect THIS kind of angst when you dmed me .

#llewyn davis x reader #llewyn davis #llewyn davis headcanon #llewyn davis headcanons #inside llewyn davis #jane answers #oscar isaac

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nakedbibi333 · 1 year

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I’m reading all these post that are DIRECTLY telling me what to do or are trying to motivate to manifest (they are helpful but i can’t mentally accept them) but for someone reason I cant get myself to do or listen to those things like i’m trying to force myself to know that i have my desires and telling myself that everything is ok and is working out fine but i won’t let me self apply that info to myself? it feels like all that i want and need like desires and advice is right behind an invisible force field or whatever and im trying to get inside the force field to apply the advice, believe in my 4d and manifest my desires but the force field is very hard to break/open. im sorry but that’s what it feels like. like im so mad at myself im like “you just read some helpful info, and even got to something motivational so why are you believing in it or applying it? WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING APPLY ITS SO EASY WTF” LMFAO IM SORRY😭

AHAHA it sounds like you're overconsuming and also overthinking. Don't worry!

And also, getting anything done in life is never about motivation, it's all about discipline. You just need to decide that you aren't going to procrastinate or avoid doing something that would benefit you.

All you need to do is take your own advice but without the need to lean on motivation and discipline yourself enough to apply!

Personally, I like to take breaks from tumblr in order to focus 100% on applying which is what I'm doing in January which is probably when this will be posted so :)

#ask

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thatswhatsushesaid · 2 months

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I just wanted to tell you that i love reading your meta so much. Unfortunately i am very easily swayed by others' opinions + when i get very interested in something i often tend to read other people's thoughts before i finish the thing and can have my own opinion (i did this with mdzs too), so i may be biased. But still, you are doing something i can't do myself (yet?) and i enjoy reading your thoughts greatly. Oh, your memes too.

ahhh this is so kind of you to say, thank you!! just for the record, i think it is perfectly natural to want to seek out other people’s thoughts and opinions on something while trying to decide how you feel about a thing. my feelings on various different characters and character dynamics have for sure been influenced by what other users have written over the years (e.g., i used to hhhhhate nmj, but seeking out and listening to people who do like him softened me on him considerably). that’s the good part of fandom imo, sharing ideas and allowing yourself to change your mind based on those ideas.

that said, as i am sure you have probably noticed, i do have strong feelings and opinions about lots of things in this book, and there are some things i am quite firm about, and i don’t anticipate those things changing anytime soon. even so, i do hope you know that disagreement and differing opinions is okay and not something to be afraid of, even if expressing that disagreement risks making other people annoyed. you can’t control how other people respond to your thoughts, and i promise you that no matter what opinion you hold about a thing, there is at least one user in any fandom space who is going to have a problem with it 🤷‍♀️ that’s just what happens when you get a group of people together and ask them to form an opinion about something. you’re going to get sooooo many different opinions, and that doesn’t mean that all of the ones that are different from yours are right. or wrong!

i am a big fan of disagreement in fandom discourse actually, and not just because i enjoy a good argument lmfao but because good disagreement and a bit of friction occasionally forces us to examine and then defend our positions, which helps us better understand why we feel the way we do about a thing. and also, sometimes we discover that we are wrong, or that the issue is more complex than we realize, and we change our minds. it’s hard to do that if we only surround ourselves with people we agree with on 100% of the source material.

anyway, i hope you will feel comfortable and confident enough to share your thoughts in the future because i personally would be very keen to read them, even if i end up disagreeing.

#asks answered

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coredrill · 4 months

Text

and more lagann-hen thoughts below the cut :]

i love you gurren lagann……….you’re so everything to me………i’m so grateful to have experienced these showings and i feel so strongly they should put these movies in theaters worldwide 😭 i’m writing this right after the last one and i’m nowheres near as jazzed as i was after all of the other showings and i feel like it’s because it’s somewhat bittersweet? it’s been a hell of a week+ and i can’t believe it’s over, but… we had a lot of fun, didn’t we? (absolutely bursts into tears)

anyways!! 4dx thoughts first:

I SAW IT IN 4DX ON TUESDAY CAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE SURE I COULD ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION TO THE DUB BUT. THEY SHOWED THE DUB TUESDAY ANYWAY????? SO I SAW IT TWICE. IDK WHAT HAPPENED THERE BUT I’M SO HAPPY IT DID. THAT DUB SUMMONING CIRCLE POST FUCKING WORKED

at the scene where yoko’s just gotten simon outta prison and boota leaps into her titties the seats started bouncing too and like. causing some irl gainaxing i’m ngl 😭

ALSO YEAH WHEN SIMON VOMITS BLOOD THEY SPRAY YOU WITH WATER. AGAIN. WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THESE 4DX PLANNING SESSIONS

i went to a different 4dx theater this time and they kept??? blasting the back of our legs with air??? and they did not do that during gurren-hen and i am SO confused what that was all about

every time i watch that scene where arc gurren transforms into arc gurren lagann i think to myself “those poor civilians are probably getting JOSTLED” and HAVING NOW FELT IT MYSELF. THEY SURE WERE 😭

ALSO i know why wakabayashi fell out of his seat while watching. and it’s because THEY PURPOSELY TRY TO KNOCK YOU OUT OF IT!!!!!! like when viral throws lagann at the antispiral and when lagann throws simon, they hit you in the back HARD and if i hadn’t been gripping the armrest for dear life i would’ve been knocked out too 😭 the lordgenome battle was crazy too, as well as Literally everything after they escape the labyrinth. which is expected but DAMN it was a wild time!!!

the fog floating around the theater during The Scene with kamina. fucking ethereal

OKAYYYY konishi & trigger interview/lead-in thoughts:

konishi’s little speech was so funny omg 😭 he really was like “i know some of you only came for this movie and not the first one” LMAOOOO. he also spend a HOT minute being like “this is the end of gurren lagann! the very end! there’s no more! please enjoy the end! 😇” and i KNOW trigger is smart enough to not make a sequel or anything BUT THE WAY HE WAS SAYING IT had me worried i’d get hit with some “surprise! third movie!” after the end of this one LMFAO

they said that the reason they added SO much new animation for lagann-hen was because the end of gurren-hen got such a good reception from fans and like. it’s WILD to hear that as i do still, in my mind, view these as “compilation movies” but i always forget JUST HOW MUCH of lagann-hen is just. completely new LMAO. and it’s really interesting as i feel like the new animation is kind of more dispersed throughout the movie than being back-loaded like in gurren-hen!!

koyama also mentioned something really sweet, that when they were finishing up making this movie they had pulled in a whole bunch of different animators from other studios, and it really felt similar to the spirit of gurren lagann itself in that it was stronger because everyone was working together 🥺 making myself tear up typing this out tbh but i really do love how much of ttgl’s message and story is part of its production………i think it really helps contribute to like, the honesty and sincerity of the story!!!!

AND NOW FOR MY DUB THOUGHTS:

HOLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY SHIT THIS DUB WAS AMAZING. even better than gurren-hen’s by a LONG shot - though admittedly i think it’s also benefitted by having so much changed dialogue, and so there’s not as much direct comparison that can go on? still, everyone fucking killed it and i’m so so so excited to buy this on bluray and listen to it every day LMAO

anyways all that said, my very small gripes that literally don’t even matter because i’m so fucking stoked that we HAVE A DUB AND ITS AWESOME: yoko’s performance is still not doing it for me 😭 i feel like her lines suffered the most from the stricter adherence to lip flaps, and she was still doing the head voice thing that she did in the first movie… also they pronounced “anne” as “ann” rather than “ah-neh” which surprised me, and ALSO at one point i think cybela said “laGAHN” rather than “lagann”? but they said darry’s name right and also these are SUCH tiny nitpicks that they don’t even matter cause everythign else ruled so hard LMAO.

VIRAL. AMAZING AS EXPECTED. LITERALLY NO NOTES HE WAS PERFECT. also that scene where lordgenome’s like “we have to steal my old moon gunman” and viral’s like “well it’s a good thing that your SPECIALTY is STEALING GUNMEN, simon” had me DYING. cut the man a break viral, you’ve been on his side for two seconds and yet could not wait any longer to sass him LMFAO

KITTAN RULED ALSO. his whole speech to gimmy - when he said “show me someone who ain’t afraid of dyin’ and i’ll show you a liar!” it fucking HIT. GOD. and his final sacrifice??? honestly on par with or even better than the tv version, god, he KILLED IT.

also gimmy!! and darry!!! i’m WILDLY impressed that they still sounded like their old selves here!!! excellent job!!!

the antispiral was really great too - crispin freeman did a great job of making him more, like, unhinged overall??? like when he is going to TOWN on ttgl and tearing it apart and there was BLOOD EVERYWHERE JESUS. that part is shocking in visuals alone but he knocked it out of the park with the voice acting too!!!

I Cannot Believe They Made Johnny Yong Bosch Say “i’m a fool of epic proportions!” Out Loud In English With His Mouth. about to integrate that into my own vocabulary tbh LMAO, i figured they would’ve tweaked the wording there a little!! either way though he ALSO KILLED IT AS ROSSIU, god his “so many others” like was PERFECT in its equal desperation and relief and i know nia is the one who says it but “rossiu cannot save humanity. he can’t even save himself.” makes me go ten types of crazy insane stupid oh my GODD

at one point dayakka had the line “oh no! the giga drill broke?” and i swear to god i saw the 2007 youtube compilation of “giga drill breaks” ending with that line in full 480p in my mind when he did LMAO. on par with simon’s “you mean we need an EVEN BIGGER DRILL? 😱” from the tv show

NIAAAAAAA OH MY GOD. she was INCREDIBLE, like her “no way! 😇” wasn’t as strong as in the tv version imo but HER ANTISPIRAL VOICE????? god it was soooo sinister it killed me. also every scene of her and simon… when she accepted his proposal i was full-on sobbing, maybe romance IS real………

AND NOW. SIMON. YURI FUCKING LOWENTHAL MY GOD. i knew he was gonna kill it since he did amazing in gurren-hen despite not sounding 14 anymore BUT OH MY LORD. I WAS NOT EXPECTING HIM TO COMPLETELY ALTER MY PERCEPTION OF SIMON AS A CHARACTER FOR THE BETTER. AND YET HE DID. LIKE. you can HEAR how much simon is struggling emotionally in this movie much MUCH more so than you can in any other version imo, like the fucking prison scene???? the way he sounded so resigned and defeated and NOT ACTUALLY CONTENT but knowing that he NEEDS to be content JESUS CHRIST. he literally NEEDED viral to jump in front of that blast from nia and save him oh my god. and during the final battle too, you can just Hear his struggle through his voice. his struggle with his spiral power, and how much of it he has, and controlling it when he maybe doesn’t WANT to. his struggle to move forward and fight with Everything he has despite knowing that Nia Will Die. simon as a force of nature, simon as a galaxy, simon as someone to whom the spiral nemesis is Already Happening and yet literally simon just some guy. i am going to start chewing through my walls. FUCK!!!!!!!!! thank you yuri lowenthal this was LIFE CHANGING. BLURAY WHEN

anyways. i’m ngl my undereye bags are starting to look like ep9 simon’s so uh. i’m v excited to go to bed at 8:30pm every night for the next two weeks 😅 highly extremely worth every second of sleep lost tho!!!

#a: ttgl #ttgl: films #t.ttgl #SOBS

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bisluthq · 7 months

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ugh nat i need help. i totally cant get over swiftwyn, like ever since they broke up I’ve been more heartbroken ab it than I think they themselves are lol. Idk I think it’s just that they were such a perf couple and they seemed like such soulmates. like all the music she wrote for and with him, the way they looked so good together, and just the fact that they seemed so emotionally connected on so many levels. like they’re still my couple goals if I’m being honest lmao. idk I just can’t get myself to be happy over TK bc I’m missing swiftwyn. Like it’s literally just so sad. their relationship is literally my Roman Empire lmfao

honestly i think i need to separate myself from tay but like i love her music too much and it doesn’t help that i know the lore behind all of her songs. they were just the dream couple and i soooo wish they were still together

not to be one of those “love isn’t real” bitches but like that’s how I’ve gen been feeling for the past 6 months

idk i think it’s all the fact that I don’t know these people and will never receive closure because I’ll never know what happened. but idk it just hurts me on such a deep level for some reason lmao

pls help, even if you can provide any advice or closure would be appreciated like i feel crazy and don’t know what to do lmao

Okay SO I think you've analysed it very correctly - you're mourning something that existed in your head and it's difficult to get closure on something that's not yk real. For Taylor and Joe, breaking up was the result of falling out of love (which is normal but sad). For you, you're having to break up with Swiftwyn without ever falling out of love with them because, as you rightfully point out, you don't know them and weren't involved. You loved the concept (that's all other people's relationships can ever be if we're not somehow caught up in the middle of it). You don't have to stop loving the concept. It's not that different from idk The Doctor and Rose together or Meredith and McDreamy or idk that gay Supernatural ship.

So my advice is take a deep breath and allow yourself to still like them as a ship from when they're together. Them being broken up in 2023 doesn't mean you can't imagine 2016 them when Delicate comes on (if that's what pops into your head), same as you can picture Jake and Taylor when ATW plays and same as you can rewatch episodes of your favourite ships even when the couple later breaks up or idk the show ends.

Because we're operating with the concept, not with real life.

Now here's where it gets tricky though. We are liking concepts but dealing with real people - that's where liking celeb couples gets weird. So while it's perfectly okay to listen to Delicate and imagine the dive bar or look at the potato quality pap shots of them or whatever, what's not okay is harassing them or the recurrent "DAD COME BACK" jokes (which mostly stopped now that TK is around, which goes back to how this is concept not real life). Because like... they're real people who just got over each other and that's sad and I can't imagine dealing with my own issues and having strangers "mourning" it for me or telling me who I should date next. People are mad weird.

As for "love isn't real" - well, Hollywood love isn't really. The Notebook doesn't happen irl. I mean read this interview from Goldie about Kurt. Kurt and Goldie broke up/took separations in both 2000 and 2004. Then they realised that even though they pissed each other the fuck off, they're better off staying together, and here they still are now. One day, maybe they'll take another separation and stay apart after that. Who knows!?!?! NOT THEM. So certainly not us. Love is incredible and magical but it's also going to have ups and downs and require work and compromise and if the bad starts outweighing the good then it's time to find something else.

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burtonbabygirlguster · 2 years

Text

how comfortable i would feel with different stranger things characters

Argyle

8/10

he would be 10/10 but i’d be scared he’d mention what i’ve told him when he was high

i’ve got no idea if being high works like that tho???

but i’d be panicking very hard

like he’s probably use my preferred name instead of my deadname and i’d be like 🧍

would offer me weed to help with my skin picking problems or my mouth pain

fuck you braces and nails

Robin

10/10

we can ramble to each other :)

my best moments with my friends is of us rambling to each-other and getting off topic every other sentence

she’s very funny we could laugh about anything it’d be great

and i’m also queer so like..yeah, gay people flock together type shit

Eddie

6.5/10

the cafeteria scene scared me, i’d constantly think he’s about to..like..jump on my sandwich

also he’s too extroverted for me im sorry

i can’t handle that type of attention anywhere near me

he’d probably look at what i was drawing or something and show everyone 🧍

and i’ve got too much anxiety for that soooo…

Steve

7.5/10

i can’t really explain in

like, yes, i’d be comfortable, but constantly tense, expecting something, at the same time

like i said, can’t really explain it, sorry lmfao

Jonathan

13/10

would make me feel good about myself

between my fashion, music, general interests, being trans and gay, i’d be the Hawkins high punching bag

i already was at my middle school some? like nothing physical but constant shit, it was this group of kids constantly coming over to the tree i hung by and shouting slurs and jesus blah blah

plus the usual barking and being called emo in the halls

anyway

he could tell when i’m about to have a breakdown, whatever i’m feeling honestly

the only person i think i’d EVER be comfortable sharing how i actually feel with

he would never judge me

i think he’d like my stupidity and chaos, i usually get really insecure about it but he’d be nice :))

the only way i can interact with a movie/show is to vocally talk about it and my family (reasonably) gets mad but i think he’d enjoy hearing what i think and how i perceive whatever we’d be watching

even outside of movies, they don’t really like hearing me ramble or talk

and if one person did like it, another one would interrupt and they’d forget about me

even my general family issues, he’d be there to listen, and relate on a lot

i also love photography so we could have fun with that!!!

overall he’d be the biggest comfort ever

Nancy

2/10

i’m sorry but i wouldn’t be all that comfortable

i think the biggest thing was how she treated robin

and since i act like robin with the rambling and such, i really think she would not like me

opposite of Jonathan

she’d only get annoyed and i feel like she’d just act like my family when it comes to how i express myself, and would make me feel like shit

maybe she’d actually be really cool once i got to know her

but everything that the shows given me is her pushing away barb, the love triangle, being rude to robin, and supernatural stress, so not quite sure :p

Jason

-3/10

i don’t even need to explain

i would be called slurs and beat up

he was ready to break Gareths fingers

which i guess me just being casual vs him hunting a guy are definitely different situations

but i feel like he’d break something

i’d definitely be a suspect of joint murder forces with eddie lmfao

Billy

-3/10

same thing with jason

but pretty sure he’d also body-shame me

unless if we were around people

but still -3/10

Will

12/10

Same thing as Jonathan

but i’m closer to wills age so i think it’d be better :)

plus he at least used to play with legos and i fucking love legos

also we could draw DnD characters together!!

he’s gonna love my literal dragonborn himbo that wears sunglasses

i’d love to be in a byers-hopper family campaign with him :))

gays flock together again

Lucas

11/10

he’s super duper fucking nice and would always be considerate of everything

would not judge me

except in a funny way

he could help me out if i ever had relationship issues

he can climb trees i think? i feel like he climbed one in season one or two

if he can, i’d love to go tree climbing with him

i used to play basketball so we could play together!!

he’s awesome

Dustin

8/10

i can’t really explain why he’s only 8

i would, however, love to go and open curiosity doors and do random shit

i’m gonna train demodogs with him

would love to tease steve with him

8/10

nothing really special, just chill :)

again, would love to do a whole family campaign

i’d like making fun presentations with her like she did for the school project

would enjoy doing stuff like how she and max did, i love clothes shopping, because i can express myself- and that was the whole point for her clothes shopping!

i’d absolutely love to do that with her :))

Max

7.3/10

would maybe make fun of me a little bit?

sometimes in a funny friend way but sometimes in an actual way

i don’t think i’d be able to tell which is which so i’d be sad each time🧍

would love being chaotic with her and torturing mike (i’m sorry mike)

pulling pranks on everyone definitely

Mike

depends which season

1-2 is 10/10

3-4 is slowly declining…

i’m very childish (although i am a child so doesn’t really count) and i love doing thing how will does, and i’d too, be asking to play

would feel the worst feeling if he ever yelled at me like he did to will :(

although that’s on byler drama, so he wouldn’t yell at me like that

would make me feel both appreciated and highly judged

it switches every day honestly

but season 1-2 would be great <3

after he gets his byler drama sorted out he’d be back to 10/10

Erica

depends if she’s insulting me or not

but if she’s insulting me then i probably did something first so it’d be my fault

but overall she’d be super cool to hang with!

and she’s super smart- if i pay her, maybe she’ll do my math homework 😭

i haven’t nt watched my little pony in years (and obviously not the 80s one she watched) but i think i’d watch it so we could talk bout it

and talk with dustin too about it

cause he watches my little pony too

Joyce

6/10

As great a mom as she is, she barley ever payed attention to Jonathan

like, never

i would trust her to save me, yeah, absolutely, she’d do anything

but like i said with Jonathan..

overall though i suppose really good, she’d be fun to hang out with

Jim

4.5/10

dudes SCARY

yells too much

i’m generally spooked by older people, especially older men sooo yeah 🧍

that wouldn’t help

would constantly feel like a disappointment even if that’s not what he wanted

every so often a really good moment

maybe a heart to heart that’d boost him up a few numbers

Murray

4/10

as funny as he is, if he started talking about my relationship, i’d punch him

not actually i’m a coward but i’d mentally punch him

if he never talked about relationships then he could be a good 8/10 or something

nothing too special even then, just casual

Bob

9/10

gets -1 point because old men scare me lmfao

other than that i’d love to play his brain games and learn about the radios and such

great guy :((

would love to have him as an uncle :))

would like to listen to me ramble!

he jon and i can have camera sessions

Owens

7/10

again, -1 point for old man

but specifically during season four i kinda wished i had a dad a lil bit like him

i think the food got to me

and him trying to go against brenner

“kiddo” hit me hard

would not enjoy in the other seasons tho, no trust, thus no comfort at all

Mr Clark

9/10

once more, -1 for old man

but he’s super nice to the kids 😭

and always helps them solve the Upsidedown mystery of the year

where was he this season????

only teacher i could actually go up to and ask for help

would LOVE to have him as a dad

he’d also definitely enjoy to hear my ramblings, especially if they’ve got anything to do with science

i ramble about time travel and mythological creatures a lot (especially dragons and how they would have been) and i’d think he’d enjoy ny special interests of curiosity doors

Alexi

9/10

would love to go to the fair with him and get all the stuffed animals

and watch cartoons and eat slushes i think it’d be great fun

wanna have murray deal with both of us

harhar the old man will never know what hit him

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1117feverlessdreams · 11 months

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Welcome to 1117feverlessdreams! A place where you can let free the wildest fantasies of your dreams!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊ *ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ *

I decided upon the name when I was thinking about the first song I listened by myself when my friend recommended me to Ateez, Star1117. 🗣️

Something had drawn me to it, the title sounded like it was gonna be beautiful and something I’d enjoy, and my instincts were right. 🧞‍♂️

As I listened to the song, I thought, who could they be talking about? They sound like they really love this person. (even though I didn’t know what the hell they were saying LMFAO) 🥶

But the melody and they way they sang so softly and belted out those notes, I knew it was a strong song with deep emotion, and the “forever you are my star” line made me think it was about someone they really cared for. 😭

I immediately searched the songs meaning and saw it was for their fans. I never got into K-pop fully but I always wanted to and had a few songs on my playlist. I decided Ateez was the first group I was gonna Stan based on that song alone. I wanted to be part of a fandom whose artist love their fans so dearly that they made a song dedicated to them. 💙

Fever came from another Ateez song, it just came to mind and I wanted to include it. 👨‍🎤 I had to add less because it emphasizes the wish of my stories to have a pleasant experience rather than a bizarre/ disturbing one.

Dreams comes from me just being delusional lol. I tend to wander off out no where in my mind coming up with all kinds of scenarios. So much to the point it’s just a coping mechanism for my insomnia. 🐳

It actually helped in some ways. I can sleep peacefully now, maybe too much because I don’t ever wanna wake up. What can I say, I guess I have an addiction. 🌀

Plus I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon so enjoy the ride 🚙

The theme for my page is a fantasy dream world where all your desires come true (i.e. requests or messages), the theme color being blue. The color blue represents calmness, imagination, and spirituality. 🚹

I want to make my page for my black!readers because we really don’t get a lot of representation 🥲🥲🥲

BUT sometimes I might write generally, so just to be clear I’m not discriminating and I want to include everyone!

BUT for my black!readers just know that this is a safe space 💙

PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY ORIGINAL WORKS, reblogs are appreciated and accepted. Stealing and modifying my work or publishing out on other platforms is not. 🖌️

Lastly I will also be attaching to music to each of my works to get y’all in the mood ( ͡❛ 👅 ͡❛) I love music, I literally can not live without it just like I can’t live without my “exciting imagination”. Also I thought it would be a fun addition, so I hope y’all don’t mind! 😰

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ *

All About Me!

Name: NYX (a picking of my choosing after the goddess of night)

Age: 18- yes I am an adult and therefore make content for other adults, MINORS DNI 🔞

Country: ‘Merica 🤠🔫🔫 🦅🦅🦅

Ethnicity: African-American Gyal 💁🏾‍♀️

Favs: Ateez (ult) Stray Kids, P1Harmony, Enhyphen, Nct127, NCT DREAM, Twice, TXT, NewJeans, Red Velvet, Leehi, Got7, Seventeen.

(Imma be completely honest, I listen to the other groups music and I know some of the members, but Ateez is the only group I know really well. I’m trying my best to get involved in other groups but I love my boys so much!!!)

Moots: They’re non- existent but that’s because they don’t know I exist yet! If you wanna be moots don’t be shy, I won’t bite 😭.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ *

#ateez x black reader #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez x you #1117feverdreams #delulu #ateez #ateez au

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transphilza · 2 years

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💕❤️💕❤️

i’ve gotten into the habit of doing these check in posts with everything that’s going on so here i am. back again. mourning log day 3 except this one is just aimless rambling

i feel a bit better. i didn’t feel better earlier today though, i woke up and it only took about fifteen or twenty minutes of watching wil’s stream til i started crying a lot… admittedly that’s better than day 2 where i woke up and immediately had an anxiety attack but yeah. felt sort of cold and numb all day like i was walking around in a fugue, everything felt fake and distant and strange. hearing phil and wilbur’s voices (like especially phils for whatever reason) today felt quite nice but the only thing that made me feel real was when i was crying about techno

i cried while answering some asks, which for transparency’s sake has happened several times,,, when i say i understand you all and i feel your pain i Really mean it. it’s been cathartic to read your feelings and cry with you all

but i feel a bit better now. of all fucking things listening to hermitgang actually improved my mood quite a lot and thats so hysterically funny to me that i can’t even find it in myself to be mad about it. i played some toontown and then called my girlfriend and i rewatched philza’s vr world tour stream with her which was really comforting. she and him helped me feel real again,, we watched sbi terraria before that which was really really nice. hearing his voice still makes me feel so. aghhhhhh. i really really miss him

still feels like i’ve been carved out and left hollow a bit but talking to people of course helps. i’ve been avoiding my family for the past few days cause i couldn’t stop crying for long enough to compose myself but today i was able to talk to them for a little bit and it was better even though i was still hurting and it still felt strange to be around people whose worlds were still turning even though mine has stopped

on a random tangent thanks for eight fucking thousand notes on the techno art <3 that’s the most notes i’ve ever gotten on anything ever (thx techno m8) and also thanks for FINALLY replacing that clip of wilbur as my most noted post. jesus christ

i think i’m gonna keep the new pinned post. i wasn’t sure at first, but now that it’s there i really want to keep it. having that reminder on my blog all the time feels right…. although reading “spaceship” still genuinely makes me feel like someone fucking stabbed me in the chest every time i read it it hurts so bad

i miss him a lot…. that’s where i’m at now. i just miss him and i want him back and it destroys me every time i remember he’s not coming back

but it’s better, or as better as it can be. it’s better than uncontrollable nonstop sobbing for hours at a time at least, which is where i started. so that’s probably worth something, even if it just ends up as numbness

theres still some clips scheduled for tmrw and day after. tomorrow is gonna be really annoying cause it’s july 4th and i am not good with firework noises lmfao…. hopefully my ear plugs block the worst of it out. any other sound sensitive americans i am wishing you some peace as well

much love to you all. if sending me asks or messages helps you in any way i’m beyond happy to answer them, and thank you for all your stories and kindness once again

❤️ cia

#personal

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tunglo · 2 years

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Last Jedi - Reckoning

Some quotes from the tenth and final Last of the Jedi book: Reckoning by Jude Watson - AKA ‘the extended tales of how everything would have been fine if people had just listened to Ferus’…

“Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker.”

It had taken days for Obi-Wan Kenobi to get back to him on the emergency channel. Now Ferus stared at the wavering holo-image, waiting for Obi-Wan to react. Obi-Wan's expression remained neutral.

“What makes you think so?”

Ferus gathered his thoughts for the explanation. Where to start? Now that he finally had Obi-Wan, he needed to present the mix of facts, guesswork, and instincts that had led him to this revelation. In that small second of pause, a new revelation rocked him. “You knew!”

Obi-Wan said nothing.

Ferus wanted to fling the comlink up into the vast yellow sky. Instead he walked in a circle, kicking a stone out of his way in his frustration, a display of extremely unJedilike behavior. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asked when he could finally calm himself enough to speak.

“Ferus -”

“Don't you think it might have been helpful for me to know?”

“I don't see why.”

“You don't see why?”

“Ferus,” Obi-Wan continued in the same maddeningly calm voice, “think about it. What difference does it make to know who he was? There's nothing left of Anakin. He died the day he crossed to the dark side of the Force. It was better for you not to have that information. It could have endangered you. It was enough that I knew.”

The way Obi-wan spoke stopped Ferus in his tracks. Obviously the pain of it was still a part of Anakin's former Master. Despite the millions of kilometers between them, the vast expanse of space, Ferus could feel it. He stopped to consider what it would mean, to have an apprentice who would abandon all your teachings and turn to the dark side.

“Why did he do it?” he asked.

“I have my theories,” Obi-wan said gravely. “We can't know for certain. I believe Palpatine has been manipulating him for some time. Slowly. Planting seeds. That's the way the Sith operate. And Anakin himself . . .” Obi-Wan looked away, gazing at the vast sandy expanse of Tatooine. "To have so many gifts, to be the Chosen One . . . to be so afraid of loss . . .“ Obi-Wan gazed back at Ferus. ”And to have me as a Master. In the end, there were things between us I hadn't even realized were there. I don't have the answer to why he turned. I can only ask myself that question, over and over again."

Ferus had trouble reconciling the Anakin that he'd known with that terrifying figure. He'd had his problems with Anakin, but they'd been the petty rivalries of two boys. He had seen something dark in him, but he'd never considered it to be the kind of darkness that would swallow all of Anakin's goodness.

He'd been thinking for so long that if he could discover Vader's true identity he would be able to use it to defeat him. Now he wasn't sure.

Memories of Anakin weren't all bad. They had never been friends, but there had been many times that they'd worked well together. He'd admired Anakin. It was impossible not to. Anakin had been the one that all the Padawans had looked up to. He'd had close friends, Tru Veld and Darra Thel-Tanis. How could he have become Vader? How could he have left so much goodness behind?

“Maybe I'll just get lucky,” Ferus said. “Anakin.”

Vader came at him with surprising swiftness, but Ferus was able to Force-leap away. Still he sensed that Vader was holding himself back, playing with him for now.

“So you know who I was,” Vader said. “Do you think that would make a difference to me? Anakin Skywalker is dead.”

“Was it because the Council wouldn't let you become a Master? You always had to struggle with your ego, didn't you?”

“It was never a struggle. I was always the best.”

[lmfao. wtf anakin? xD]

The sandstorm had been blowing for two weeks straight. The nights were freakishly cold, the mornings bitter. With no suns to bake it away, the cold had seeped into the hut. The sound of the sand peppering the walls and the howl of the wind could drive you mad if you were inclined that way.

Obi-Wan Kenobi knew that this storm, like all things, would pass soon enough. Until then, he lived with grit. Sand was in his food, in his bedding, in his hair.

Anakin had always hated sand. Now Obi-Wan knew why.

He didn't hear the knock over the sound of the wind but he sensed a presence outside his door. Obi-Wan opened it a crack. Ferus stood, bearded now the sand thick in his hair, his eyes almost shut by the dirt and sand caking his eyelids. Obi-Wan pulled him inside and shut the door.

He saw at once that Ferus couldn't speak. The Living Force was weak in him. Obi-Wan led him to the sleep couch and left him there. He hurried to get supplies. He bathed Ferus's face in warm water, gently releasing the hardened sand. He kept going back and forth to the cistern for more water and rags. He checked him for wounds and administered bacta. It was obvious he'd been in a fight. There was a large contusion on his forehead, another at the back of his skull.

But that wasn't what had dimmed the Force in him.

Ferus looked at him. His eyes filled with tears. He closed his eyes and turned his face to the wall. He slept for three days. ...

“You made it to my doorstep,” Obi-Wan said. “You must have wanted to live.”

Ferus ate. When the bowl and the jug were empty Obi-Wan removed them. He sat facing Ferus, waiting. The words poured out. Vader. Twilight. Ry-Gaul, Garen, Solace - everyone he'd meant to save. Toma and betrayal. Flame. An asteroid the size of a planet disappearing before his eyes. How everything had turned to dust. How Obi-Wan had warned him, and he had ignored the warnings. How it was all his fault.

“I know it's not the Jedi way to say that,” Ferus said, the bitterness and defeat in his voice causing Obi-Wan pain. "But I am responsible. I was blind. I thought I could defeat Vader - that was driving me always, and that destructive impulse blinded me to things I should have known." ...

"These things didn't happen because of your failures, Ferus. They happened because someone did them. Darth Vader is responsible for those deaths. Not you. He is the one who fashioned the plan to kill. He is the one who blew up that asteroid."

Obi-Wan sat quietly with Ferus for long minutes. He remembered his own bitterness, his own shame and despair. What had saved him? How could he save Ferus?

“Forgiveness isn't a feeling,” Obi-Wan said finally. “It's a decision you have to make for yourself every day. Every day, you will fight for a moment of peace.”

“That is a journey I'm not inclined to take.” Ferus leaned back, exhausted. “Everyone I love is dead.”

“Not everyone.”

Ferus thought of Trever. “No. Not everyone.”

#jude watson #star wars #ferus olin #obikin #spoilers

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