I Can't Name What I Feel For You
This is a sort of prequel to my other fic I Can't Seem to Let You Go that explains their nicknames.
~~~~~
“Eughhh” Kourtney groans with her eyes closed.
She feels a light kiss on the back of her neck while a hand wraps around her midsection to pull her body closer to their front.
“When did we even fall asleep?” she hears a deep, scratchy voice ask in her ear.
“I don’t know but we should probably get up. What time is it?”
“Five more minutes.”
She chuckles. “We shouldn’t have gotten any minutes. We were supposed to be running lines.”
“And we did. Seems we just ran out of steam there.”
“I knew we shouldn’t have laid down to run lines, I was already tired from studying for that chemistry test the night before. And you were tired from staying up on FaceTime trying to distract me from studying for that chemistry test.”
“I can teach you about chemistry" he quips and bites the shell of her ear.
"Stopppp" she says while giggling.
"No but seriously, I still think you went overboard with studying. I'm sure you aced it. You know the material as well as you know me” he says while dropping a series of kisses on her collarbone.
“Is that so?”
“Yep.”
“And who says I know you that well? I’m not even sure I know what color eyes you have, to be honest.”
Halting his ministrations, he gives her an incredulous look. “Really Kourt? As much time as I spend looking at you? You know what color my eyes are.”
She turns in the bed to face him. “Fine, I was just kidding about the eyes thing but there’s still so much I don’t know about you. I mean, what does EJ even stand for?”
“Guess.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, guess. I bet you’ll never get it.”
“Hmmm. Eli Jordan? No. Elijah James? Noooo. Eric John. Final answer.”
“John is right. Eric is not.”
“Okay, okay. Halfway there. Ethan?"
“Nope.”
“Emmett?”
“Uh uh.”
“Evan?”
“No.”
“Ezra?”
“Ew.”
“Babe just tell me.”
“But if I tell you, you might stop calling me babe.”
“If you don’t tell me, I might not call you ever again” she replies in a singsongy voice.
“How about this? If I can guess your middle name, then you still have to figure out my first name.”
“What? How is that fair?”
“It isn’t.”
“Are you really not going to tell me?” she asks while pouting.
“Stop giving me those puppy dog eyes, it won’t work” he says but still closes his own eyes in order to resist caving.
“You are so annoying.”
“Maybe. But I don’t see you leaving this bed” he says while getting in her space and gently kissing her on the cheek.
Kourtney rolls her eyes “Whatever. But you have three tries to get my middle name right or I’ll make you spill.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh.”
“And how will you do that?”
She runs a hand up his chest to cup the back of his neck and bring him closer to her. She whispers directly onto his lips, letting them brush only slightly while holding eye contact.
“I have my ways.”
She can feel the tiny shiver that runs through his body in response to her teasing and pulls back to see his pupils blown extremely wide. She giggles and that breaks him from his lust induced stupor.
“You don’t play fair Ms. Greene.”
“Never forget that Mr. Caswell.”
“Fine, three chances. Woo! Let me think.”
“Umm Kourtney Marie?”
“Nah.”
“Uhhhh, Kourtney Nicole?”
“Do I look like a Nicole?”
“No. You’re right. Ooh! I got it. Kourtney Renee.”
Shocked that he actually got it so quickly, she sideeyes him. “Did you see my license or something?”
“So I’m right? Yes!”
“Seriously, how did you know?”
“I didn’t cheat if that’s what you’re trying to imply Ren.”
“Ren?”
“Yeah, like short for Renee. Do you hate it?”
“No, I kinda dig it. But spill. How did you get that so easily?”
“I have my ways” he parrots with a smirk.
Kourtney took that as a challenge and swung one leg over his hips and shifted her body to straddle him.
“Your ways huh?”
“I- um. I- ”
“What was that?” she mocks then leans forward and presses a kiss below his right earlobe. “So tell me the truth, you looked at my ID didn’t you?” she asks directly in his ear.
“Nope. I just got it like that.” EJ snakes his arms around her back to pull her flush against him.
“Fine.” She says in what seems like concession. “Color me impressed.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” she then kisses him on the neck and the jaw before moving to his lips.
They lock lips for all of ten seconds before she pops up and moves off him abruptly, getting completely out of his bed.
“Well, I got to go. See you later.”
“Huh?” was all he could manage while his mind was still foggy from her kiss.
“I should probably get home and finish my homework and stuff.”
“I thought you were gonna do that here and then eat dinner with me?” he swings his legs over the side of the bed to face her.
“I was but I don’t know. I’m not really feeling it anymore” she says while grabbing her Beauty and the Beast script from the floor and packing her bookbag.
“Are you serious?”
“Possibly. How did you guess my name?”
He scoffs, amused and a little annoyed that she would take it as far as leaving to get the answer out of him. “You’re so ridiculous.”
“You’re the one who said you didn’t see me leaving the bed. I’ve left it. Tell me.”
“Fine. You evil, gorgeous genius you.”
“Thanks.”
EJ chuckles at her response. “I didn’t look at your license babe, I was telling the truth about that.”
“So how then?” she prompts him.
“Like a year ago I was in class and we were talking about names. I don’t even know how we got on the subject to be honest. Then we started talking about middle names and Aisha said something about how the middle names Renee, Nicole and Marie went triple platinum in the black community. It was funny so it just stuck in my head.”
Kourtney laughs, “You remember the most random shit ever.”
“I guess” he shrugs. “So, are you staying for dinner Ren?”
“I think I will Johnny.”
He smiles at the nickname and grabs her hands, pulling her in between his legs. “You’re lucky that your dramatic ass is fine.”
“Is that so?” she asks with a shit-eating grin.
He pulls her down by her chin and kisses her squarely on the lips.
“It’s so.”
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Things I want in hsmtmts s4!!
- Ashlynn and Ricky beef!! Those two would be good for a little drama! Her with the whole Ej thing and him with the whole Big red thing (depending on if there’s gonna be some emotional cheating with maddox)
- Ricky and Gina being disgustingly gross and in love
- a bit of a side note but if they try bring more drama in their relationship I will literally riot, maybe stressing about college or the musical or sm but there’s just so many other places we can get the drama from!! Why give it to Gina and Ricky?
- speaking of drama, if they HAVE to bring the love triangle back, have it be with Maddox, Ashlynn and big red
- Jett being ridiculously in love with Kourtney and getting Ricky hounding him about it
- let’s put think “Gina 1.0” thing to rest Fr, like Nini retaliated?? It’s fine now?? Why even bring it up??
- Ricky saying I love you first and Gina saying “oh” (but saying it back eventually)
- #givekourtneyandcarlosmorescreentime
- Ej in his healing era!! Maybe even him and Gina both apologising to eachother for how their relationship ended and being friends again!
- bi Gina and Ricky confirmation because I said so
- Gina/Maddox and Ricky/Jett bestie era
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HSMTMTS Season 4, Ep 1 Thoughts
I've been turned off of the show for so long but this first episode was really something else. They're finally getting back on their feet, I can tell this season is gonna be GOLD.
Ricky and Gina are giving me EVERYTHING. I stopped supporting Rina a while ago but ykw, in 40 minutes I was back. I mean they WROTE A SONG TOGETHER! When they showed me those flashbacks the my inner Rina fan deep inside came out of its box and floated free, I LOVE THEM
Also the way that Gina is turning into Ricky like her interaction with Mack was soooo Ricky, they're so AWKWARD 😭
On the topic of Mack, him and Gina were GIVING! Like their chemistry is so good and I love Matt Sato so put him in every scene please make them argue more I beg 🙏🏽
Kourtney is East High's IT girl and she WILL be famous
Her & Carlos' Sharpy & Ryan arc is so important to me
Also I'm like 100% sure the Dani and Kourtney storyline is gonna go south but for now imma love it and think they're cute and fun together
And Dani and Mack's relationship looks very very fake lmao
I need to figure out wth is going on with my boy EJ though cause those teaser photos had him looking ROUGH. Like is he okay? He lost literally everything 😕
Also I like Ashlyn and Maddox together but they are both 100% emotionally cheating on their partners rn and this is like not how I wanted it to go
Also Ricky and his dad are so funny together and I'd love to see more scenes of them (and none with him and Ms. Jenn please and thank you 🙏🏽)
ALSO I NEED SEBLOS BACK TOGETHER ASAP
And why the hell does Dani need to know about Ricky? 🤨
All in all, this season already feels so different but also like we're getting back to the show's roots, it's an electric combination. I think they finally found their balance, it's a shame it's the end of the show. There's so much craziness going on already, I'm very curious as to how they're gonna wrap all this up in only 8 episodes cause everything is feeling so much bigger than before
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I Can’t Seem To Let You Go
What if Kourtwell had a secret thing after he and Nini broke up? But then *they* broke up before he got with Gina?
~~~~~
“Hey Kourt?”
Kourtney freezes while taking a sip of water after practicing her big solo alone in The Barn.
“Yeah?” she turns to see none other than EJ standing at the entrance. “What’s up?” she wonders apprehensively.
“Um, do you have time to talk?”
“Sure…what about?”
“Us.”
She looks around the room to confirm that they were indeed the only two present.
She grabs his arm to pull him further into the room. “Us? EJ, there is no us. Remember? We agreed.”
“No, you agreed. I just complied.”
“Stop.”
“I’m just saying that I didn’t want to break up.”
“Break up? We were never together.”
He takes a step closer. “That’s because the night I was gonna ask you to officially be my girl, you called the whole thing off.”
“Hu-huh? You were?”
“Yeah I had the whole thing planned too. Then you sprung it on me that you couldn’t handle the guilt of going behind Nini’s back anymore and called it off. Just like that.”
Kourtney looks exasperated and slightly conflicted.
“Why exactly are you bringing this up now?”
“I saw his hand on your shoulder.”
“What?” she asked, feeling like she was missing a context clue.
“Jet. I saw his hand on your shoulder earlier. And your hand was stretched up to touch his. That was quite an intentional choice, don’t ya think?”
She scoffs “Why does it even matter?”
“It just does. Do you like him or something?”
“You have a girlfriend.”
“Irrelevant to the question. Do you have a thing for Jet?” he asks, coming closer still.
“Who, by the way, has become a really good friend of mine.” Kourtney continues.
EJ sighs “I know.”
“I’m not doing this dance with you again.”
He chews on his bottom lip and stares deeply into Kourtney’s eyes.
“So you do like him.”
“Johnny…”
“Just tell me. Do. You. Like. Him?” he says while stepping even further into her orbit.
“Maybe? I don’t know, okay!”
“Ren…”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Oh but you get to call me Johnny?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, be mine again.”
Kourt’s eyes ignite with anger and frustration. She whispers angrily under her breath.
“You have a girlfriend.” She punctuates her statement by poking him in the shoulder.
“I know but she’s not you.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asks incredulously.
“I don’t know! I can’t help that I can’t forget you. When you broke things off, Gina and I got closer. And I thought that I was moving on but I was just trying to get over you.”
“Eej, I-” she starts shakily.
Gina walks into the room, cutting off whatever response she was going to give him.
Kourtney takes a small step back inconspicuously, needing the space to breathe.
“Hey guys! What’s up?”
“Nothing!” Kourtney says in a too high-pitched tone.
She clears her throat. “EJ was just giving me some notes on how to channel that angst for Elsa. Very informative” she says while glaring at EJ a little.
“Huh” Gina answers, picking up on the weird energy in the room.
“Well, I gotta go. See you guys later!”
Kourtney practically lunges for the door as she hears Gina address her boyfriend.
She takes a final look back as she’s stepping across the threshold to see EJ staring at her.
They lock eyes for a moment.
EJ breaks their eye contact to answer some question that Gina posed with a distracted “Yeah, sure babe.”
Kourtney shakes her head and continues on her way out.
Damn you Elton.
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