#Kinda depresses me that my most well liked post this year also was one of the simpliest drawn

[kimmiessimmies]

Personal post

This will probably be the most non-Sims related post I've put on this blog ever. I'll put most of it under a cut, so you can choose whether or not to read it. The thing is, I could use some advice. And asking strangers from all over the world advice on something important might be weird, but you are also my community, so I value your opinions. Don't worry, this isn't a "Kim being depressed" kinda post. 😉 It's a work thing.

Upfront: This post is about me being unhappy in my current well-paid job and my search for something that makes me happy. It might come across sounding a bit entitled, since I know there are many people who would be happy to have any job, just so they can pay their bills. I'm sorry if this post triggers that, and I know I'm privileged to even be in this situation. ❤️

TL/DR: Do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: Do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well?

Okay, here's the deal. Currently, I work in education. I've been teaching for 19 years, and for the last 3 years, I've held the position that best translates to special needs coordinator at the school where I've been all of my working life. In short, my job entails making sure the teachers have the tools they need to help all kids in their classes with special educational needs, to make sure each child ends up in the right form of education fitting their needs and dealing a lot with difficult or even alarming home situations. My job can be rewarding at times, and challenging at others. Aside from this, I've been part of the management team at my school for almost 8 years. I work at a big school. It wasn't big when I started there, but it's big now. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and that's also the age group I've always dealt with. It's the age group I've always taught, and it's the age group currently under my supervision in the position I'm now.

This past year, I've struggled with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and have not been at work fully for a while. My therapist and I established that while work is "okay", it's also not bringing me joy anymore while my job was once the happiest and most passionate thing I did. Right now, it's blah. This position is not one that really suits me, yet I don't want to go back to teaching either. I've been there, done that. Add to that the fact that, come September, my boss requires me to change my position slightly. I'd be doing the same thing I do now, but for an older age group. This has given me a lot of stomach aches, because the thing that still drives me to do my job now is the fact that I'm doing it geared towards the youngest kids in school.

All in all, the job is not bringing me happiness in the slightest anymore. Having said that, I know a lot of people do jobs that don't make them happy, but it pays the bills, so let's suck it up and just do it. Which is fine, I can do that too, except my mental health suffers...

However, there are a few good things about this job too:

The pay is really good

I have lovely colleagues

I have a lot of credits here because I've been here for so long. They know my worth

I have a very understanding boss who's been nothing short of wonderful during my depression

(If you're still with me, thank you for reading this essay all the way, it's appreciated 💗)

My therapist asked me, "If money weren't a factor, what would you be doing?" My answer was "write." More specifically, I just want to stay home all day and work on ATOH, but no one is going to pay me for that. 😄 So, write, or do a job in which writing plays a role. So, she advised me to start looking for jobs that fit that description. It was a rather depressing search. Most jobs that came close to what I'd like to do require degrees or diplomas I don't have.

And then I suddenly stumbled upon something: Assistent Project Manager at a small, but well established company that creates educational projects (usually based on children's books), books and materials geared towards early childhood education in particular, and currently expanding to do the same for education to older kids as well.

I felt like I had found the holy grail. This is writing, this is editing, this is being creative, this is working with authors, but it's also closely related to early childhood education, the thing I know so well. Despite still being semi depressed, I felt like I needed to at least give this a shot. So, I wrote a letter, enclosed my resume, and waited. I didn't have to wait long, because a few days later I got an invite for an interview.

I went for the interview and was welcomed at a small and very homely office space (with an office cat!). We had a good talk and I left happy. They invited me to do a "trial day" with them, which is what I'll be doing today. They've had a lot of applicants for this position, but from the contact we've had since, it seems like I stand a good chance.

Sounds like a no-brainer? Perhaps, unless you have my brain... Because there are doubts:

Pay. This job pays quite a bit less than my current one. I'm a single parent and therefore sole breadwinner in my household. Currently, I make quite good money because I've been in this job for a long time and hold a relatively high position in the organisation. We can pay the bills, go on holidays, and even splurge occasionally (for example, the very pricey laptop I bought a few months ago). With this job, I would still make enough to pay the bills and go on holidays, but I will need to keep an eye on the money, and there won't be splurging for a while. I do know this sounds like a luxury problem to some.

Job security. In my current job, I'm under a fixed contract. Basically, unless I royally fuck up, I can't be fired. With this job I'd start on a year contract. After that year, they can either decide to give me another year or let me go. This won't just be if I mess up, but also if they decide I'm not the best person for the job after all, or if I don't fit in with their small, close-knit team. Worst case scenario; they let me go, and I'll have to go back to education and probably teach again.

These doubts are few, but strong. So, basically, like I already said above: do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well (since it's publishing)?

I don't need anyone to actually answer those questions, but those are the wonderings on my mind I wanted to write down. Thanks for reading. ❤️

#personal #non sims

[ezraphobicsoup]

honestly its kinda crazy to me that one of my silly little characters has nearly existed for four whole years now and she’s still the same person despite the fact there is no semblance of the same story

also holy shit her original story was so bad what the fuck?? it was like illegal to have an imagination or some shit,, i don’t even know if terry was the main character there but she was still the most important (she had the most autism swag imagination out of everyone so she got exiled when she was three years old)

#anyway if you don’t like terry i don’t like you (jokes) (i love her though) #the old story setup was like ‘there’s a virus making people depressed n the only way to cure it is to get rid of the imagination’ #ok man what the fuck is wrong with you (me) #i think this was when i was in Autism Denial which is kinda obvious? #i’m so confused though cause terry was exiled but then gets told off for trying to escape the village? #the village has also retained its name its called west fords hide and its very dear to me #anyway now terry is a cool autistic trans lesbian who plays the hurdy gurdy (she’s cooler than you (and me)) #she also has friends now as well! one of them dies :( but in a way that like actually makes sense #as opposed to panick attacks that were killing people and 1000 people killing themselves (yeah idk either) #this is perhaps my most self indulgent post ever because literally no one knows what i’m talking about #oh well terry is worth it (she went to music school for 9 years)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my mom she loves a cat more than her own children.

I do feel like an asshole for this. I’m 17f and I have a younger sister 15F. My parents are married and for the most part good. When have a 12 year old cat that my mom just adores.

This part is all speculation, but when I very young like I was 5 or something my mom had an event that changed a lot. She stayed with her parents and would visits us. My grandparents would help out and no one really ever explained what happened to her but she lived there for like a year, she did move back in with us. My dad got her a cat to cope while she was away. The speculation is she had really bad post partum depression and had a break down. The reason I believe this/and this is my own theory, was when I was struggling mentally, my mom encouraged me to go to a therapist and they asked family history and she said she had struggled with depression/episodes and had tried medication but never stayed on. She just said when she was younger she had a hard time regulating emotions, and she wants me to worry about me and my own emotions. The post patrum comes from the fact that I asked my dad why did you two have kids and he admitted he wanted kids and my mom was more on the fence. I also find it weird she gets really nervous around Mother’s Day and will often try to not celebrate. (She always says she could be a better mom)

My mom is a good mom don’t get me wrong. She’s always encouraged my sister and I to try and do our hobbies. She’ll drive us where we gotta go. I know she works overtime when she wants to make sure we can do stuff for the family. It’s just sometimes, she seems more like a distant mom. She’ll listen to us, do anything asked, but idk how to put it into words.

But she really loves this cat. And I do love our cat too, but this cat and my mom are bonded. The second my mom comes home and the cat greets her and my mom picks her up and kisses her. She calls the cat her pretty princess and a hundred other nicknames. She calls me my dad and sister honey, bunny, and sunny. I know the cat actually makes my mom happy. Her eyes light up when she sees the cat. I know she looks forward to coming home to the cat. When we go on vacations she’ll miss the cat, or if she goes on a work trip she’ll always ask for pictures of the cat or ask to see the cat on FaceTime. She throws a small birthday party for the cat every year and makes a cake. For our birthdays she’ll ask what we want and sometimes she resorts to store bought desserts.

So this is where it gets bad. Our cat is now sick and probably has a year left to live. The vet told my mom she’s a good cat owner and has always done right for her, but with her age, treatment isn’t really the route because it’s not gonna prevent death, so just focus on making the cat happy and comfortable (this vet appointment was her 6 month check up.) My mom hasn’t been doing well mentally. She’s always struggled with mental health. She just seems to have a shakey mind at times if that makes sense. She very much before would hide her struggles, but we knew she’d have them. Before she would like stand still just gripping the counter with one hand. Now my mom is definetly depressed. She will come home be greeted by the cat, and go to her room and cry with the cat. She’s been just not happy.

My sister and I kinda decided to see if telling her we got good grades would cheer her up, and she’ll say good job and will sometimes offer to cook something or get something for us, but her eyes are just like very tired. (There is also an app she can use to check out grades but she never once used it and will just take our word face value) We’ve talked to my dad about this and he basically said that our mom has always loved animals (she use to work with her grandpa at a pet store he owned, but apparently her grandpa wasn’t a good person to most people in the family except her, so that was hard on her). I asked my dad what he thinks and says it’s normal for someone to be sad about this and that he’s gonna work hard or make sure we get all our needs handled. Which is nice, but I kinda wish it was my mom. I don’t feel dire need of anything, I’m just annoyed/jealous a cat can destroy my mom mentally.

My mom has gone over load for the cat. She cooks for her, makes her dinner buys the best food and mixes then. She often cries while cooking, and asks the cat if she likes the food.The cat doesn’t even know what’s happening.

I was looking at prom dresses online and asked my mom to look with me and she was just out of it. She would just say she’d like one or she’s not a fan but don’t let that discourage me. She’s just kinda lifeless. I try talking to her about it and she’ll aplogize and says she’ll get better. (It’s been like a week)

It boiled over when my mom’s sisters came over. (She’s the youngest. One sister has kids and one doesn’t) My mom tried to be happy and perky but ended up crying about the cat. Her sisters kinda said that she’s gotta be strong for her family and my mom just cried saying everything’s gonna be so much harder without the cat. I wasn’t in the room, they were in the basement, and there’s a vent where you can hear everything down there. My sister and I do easedrop to see what they say (her sisters are loud but we can never hear what my mom is saying without the vent. Normally we do it because my mom is a more different interesting person and again we don’t know our mom well. Away from us she kinda puts down the facade and actually talks). I was just angry. Her life isn’t hard. We’re middle class, if she wants to go to therepy she can afford it. We all deal with grief and loss. Yes I’m gonna be sad when our cat passes, but she is an older cat. I don’t imagine my life becoming “harder” other than my mom being depressed, but she is an adult who will heal from this.

After her sisters left and she was doing her night routine, I asked her if she loves the cat more than my sister and I. She said that’s not true and if she could do something more for my sister and I please name it. I told her that that’s the problem is that she does stuff for the cat without thinking, but for us it’s all asking us and she’s the adult she should know. She’s said she’s not a mind reader and she’s gonna rely on the information I give her to help me out where she can. I went to my room because ovbiosuly that conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I feel like my mom understands a cat more than her own daughter.

My dad came in a little while after and we talked. He assured me my mom loves me and this cat has been like an emotional support animal through the years. He mentioned my one friend who has an emotional support dog and compared them and told me that the cat has helped my mom emotionally with emotional regulation and just helps her steady herself. I asked if we were enough, or if my mom regrets having a family and she would just be happier if she just left us for the cat and lived by herself. My dad told me she loves all of us, but depression can be hard to navigate. I asked him about how he wanted us more than our mom and he just said that he was more excited, but my mom wouldn’t have had us unless she wanted us (which I don’t think is totally true.)

I went into my parents room and my mom was there with the cat. Again going to the cat for comfort. I told her I was sorry for saying she loved the cat more than us and she apologized for how her treatment towards the cat can seem that way and if I ever need anything please ask. It made me mad because she again is relying on me to know what’s wrong/ or ask, instead of her just idk taking initiative. I didn’t say that.

I get people can be mentally ill, but she’s also my mom. I do feel bad about telling my mom she loves a cat more than me, but I also don’t feel too reassured.

#aita #am i the asshole

[lumikore]

My Medic loadout I still don't know if he's an oc or not I guess he could be categorised as self insert oc but he's not really he's just my loadout guy but I do imagine him in my head in little scenarios mostly like stuff that would happen to me ingame and he acts like how I would but he's a little more mean and depressed like another day another dollar kinda vibe yknow so he's not me but he kind of is like he's my loadout yknow that's what other people see when they see me playing medic but also I don't 'kin' medic or anything like that if anything I think I'm most like engineer if I had to pick one Idk maybe he's a tf2-sona if that's a thing he's not exactly like me but he kind of represents me I mean he's my pfp as well on here and on Steam and on yt maybe he's like a mascot for my brand like Ronald McDonald or Chuck E Cheese but for Lumikore Tf2 Drawings And Etc Incorporated you feel me but like I also have hcs for him I guess they're canon if he's my character but anyway I think he plays the harp which well I mean I play the harp so I guess I'm projecting onto him a little bit there but it's ok like I project onto every single character I make ever it doesn't mean it's me it just means it is influenced by me which of course it's going to be if I made it and guys sorry for not using commas or full stops I can't help it this is what my thoughts sound like to me and it feels really weird and unnatural when I have to add pauses instead of just connecting all my thoughts in one sentence like how they come to me in my brain I didn't sleep very well last night btw so I'm kinda going a little crazy I slept 4 hours and then got up at midnight to eat strawberries and cherries and prosciutto and brie as stated in my other post and then tried to go back to sleep but it didn't work so I just layed awake for a bit now it's about 11:30 and I'm quite tired now thinking about it but I mustn't have a nap or my sleep cycle will get even worse and it also just occurred to me no one wants to read this and I think I got a little off topic as well but if I write a big enough wall of text peole will have no choice but to see it and think wow what is this guy on about that he needs to write so much under a little drawing post guys write Krampus in the comments if you read this far I'm also kind of sad rn about Krampus because after the event is over I'll have to wait another year before I can see my lovely wife Krampus again and she's gonna be so lonely without me like what does she do all year stay at home all alone it's sad really who's going to give her love and attention while I'm off fighting in the war (2fort) and genuinely aside from Krampus I really like the Smissmas maps especially Carrier and Galleria I don't really like Haarp it's very confusing and stressful but still I hope some of them stay throughout the year because I just know if they only come back in December then they will get hardly any players ever again cause people want to play the new maps every year and I think I should stop writing so I can go play tf2 now so I can play the event maps before they're gone so bye.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 medic oc #tf2 oc #stream of consciousness

[makeste]

do you perhap have bakugou whump fic recs?

I have many such recs! not all of them are "whump" in the purest sense of the word, but they've got angst and hurt/comfort in abundance, so yeah.

I also have an older rec post from like five years ago which has quite a few Bakugou whump fics as well, so I'll link that here.

and here are like 16 new ones lol.

some quick notes:

I'm just including links and summaries here, so please make sure to check the tags for each fic if you have certain squicks or triggers you're trying to avoid!

please be aware that I am not very nitpicky about grammar and style and spelling and the like, so long as I'm feeling the characterization and general vibes. so while I can't promise that all of these fics will read like Nobel Prize-winning lit, I can say that I personally enjoyed each one enough to go back and reread more than once.

although it tends to be one of the most common tropes in Bakugou angst fics, I do not vibe with the "abusive Mitsuki" angle, so you won't find any of that in the works below. same goes for Midnight-bashing (which is also surprisingly common).

I also did not include any fics with sad endings just because I didn't feel like depressing myself today lol.

I don't think there are manga spoilers in any of these fics except one (which I noted and marked with an asterisk), but definitely check the tags just to be safe.

lastly, though I'm by no means a prude when it comes to fanfic, all of these particular fics are SFW, just FYI.

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gen Bakuwhump:

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It's Already Tomorrow on the Other Side of the World by Nicole_Silverwolf

In the absolute immediate aftermath of his rescue at Kamino, Bakugou just wants to sleep. If he sleeps then this nightmare will be over. Except he's freezing in the mid August heat. And he can't stop shaking. A glimpse of two imperfect humans trying their best told in 3.5 parts.

post-Kamino Dadzawa and Katsuki. easily one of my all-time favorite BnHA fics. it's so sad and cozy.

Coming Up for Air by achievingelysium

Katsuki has nightmares. He doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but Aizawa-sensei sits with him anyway.

more Dadzawa dealing with nighttime Kacchan angst, since that's like my #1 BnHA fic aesthetic. this is so well-written. like, there are a couple of lines in here that just... guh. just hit right to the core of me.

Bakugou's "Super Fun" Three Day Vacation by Marvelless

Bakugou and his parents arrive home after the Kamino Ward incident for some much-needed recovery time.

post-Kamino Bakufam angst. lots of paranoia and dissociation. this is one of those fics that's sort of a guilty pleasure for me, because Katsuki definitely feels a lot more... fragile?... in this than I think he would have been in canon. but he's still enough of a grump during all of his spiralling that it still feels like him. and I do love me some Bakufam wholesomeness, and this fic has got that in spades.

the art of poor judgement by emelinelou

It's a Tuesday when Bakugou admits to himself that maybe, maybe he is sorta, kinda under the weather. Things go quickly downhill from there. . Alternatively: Bakugou's too stubborn to be "sick," Midoriya and Kirishima are in over their heads, Todoroki is the Most Useful in a pinch, and Aizawa is not paid nearly enough for this.

probably my favorite sickfic. chapter two especially. Bakugou's narration in this is fucking fantastic. he's so fucking done with life. meanwhile everyone around him is freaking out, and he himself is a complete mess even though he won't acknowledge it, and it's just great. it's equal parts funny, sad, and absolutely adorable.

(incidentally, even though this fic is marked as incomplete, it really doesn't feel that way and ends at a perfectly reasonable stopping point, so don't let that put you off.)

Solar Flare by TheQueen

Three weeks after Katsuki Bakugou receives his quirk, he takes a short tumble off a bridge and watches, dumbfounded, as stupid Deku extend a hand. Don’t take it, the universe commands. Don’t tell me what to do! Katsuki snaps.

this is a really cool AU in which Baby Katsuki accidentally starts defying the universe and ignoring his predestined path, which has a profound ripple effect on his life. sort of like a time-travel fix-it, minus the time travel. also just a heads up that Bakugou is like five years old in this so I guess it's technically a kidfic. and there is plenty of angst, a little bit of whump, more Bakufam, and plenty of baby Kacchan and Deku being cute like it's their job.

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BKDK/DKBK whump:

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lose it all (with eyes wide open) by ghostwriterofthemachine

Katsuki is blinded. Izuku is muted. Both of them are kidnapped. Things get worse.

this is one of those fics that just kind of leaves you stunned at how freaking good it is. featuring: psychological mindgames, hopelessly bleak situations, and codependency so utterly raw and desperate that it broke my heart roughly 17 times.

When Ice Doesn't Float by Ma_skee

A simple rescue exercise goes south when Izuku falls through the ice and it goes from a class assinment to an actual rescue and a race against time to keep him from freezing to death.

technically this is more Dekuwhump than Kacchanwhump (though we do get a bit of the latter toward the end), but I'd argue that few things could possibly stress Katsuki out more than being in a tense survival situation in which Deku is hurt and needs help. anyway so yeah. this is classic hurt/comfort and very good.

spinning out of control by mollE

Katsuki joins the 'I've Been Mind Controlled' Club. He wishes he hadn't.

please see above re: how all Dekuwhump scenarios are secretly Kacchanwhump scenarios in disguise. anyway so basically a mind-controlled Bakugou beats the shit out of Deku while being fully aware of it the entire time, and has a complete (and understandable) emotional breakdown afterwards.

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing by maxisnotokay

Izuku has had this thing about him that Katsuki has never been able to name, but he's been chasing it since he learned how to run. It takes a catastrophic building collapse during their third year and a severe concussion for him to realize what it is. Aizawa loses ten years off his life. When does he not.

gotta love a good building collapse fic. this one has a concussed Katsuki, a very worried Izuku, and the usual "thanks to this intimate life-or-death situation, I have belatedly realized some fundamental truths about the nature of our relationship" tropes. but it's good. a lot of really good banter and back-and-forth dialogue in this one too.

takes one to know one by Sour_Idealist

Deku has left UA. Ochako still looks for him in unguarded moments. Bakugo is, unsurprisingly, being a jerk.

some good emotional hurt/comfort post-Jakku. Ochako has a chat with Bakugou about Deku. specifically, Bakugou's feelings toward Deku. it's good shit.

*fear is the heart of love by nikkiRA

*please be advised this fic contains major manga spoilers!!

Bakugou gets hit by a quirk that amplifies his greatest fear for 24 hours.

losing Deku. the thing that scares him the most is losing Deku. this is a good fic. emotional hurt/comfort for days. though once again do keep in mind that there are a couple of major spoilers in this.

silence is what i do best by notreally

the one where both Izuku and Katsuki were hit with a truth serum sort of quirk, and things aren't going all too well.

not just a truth-telling quirk, but a truth-compulsion quirk, to the extent that (spoiler alert) the quirk causes them physical pain and distress if they don't speak the truth. which, as you can imagine, leads to all sorts of extremely vulnerable conversations and a lot of good h/c.

close by not quite by blossomshed

When Bakugou goes after a beacon during a class-wide rescue op, he doesn't expect to find Deku - or to find himself dealing with the fallout of a gift he doesn't want, and a side of himself he'd never bothered to examine. He deals with it nonetheless.

this fic is so dear to me. it's yet another "Deku transfers OFA to Bakugou fic", but it's just so fucking good. and it also features a (very much confused) ace Bakugou, which is such a rare find. there are lines from this fic which I still think about constantly. it's funny and profound and adorable and so wonderfully IC, please go read it.

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BONUS NON-ANGSTY FICS because I just felt like ending this list with some happy stories where Kacchan gets a lot of love:

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give me compliments (i said give me compliments) by wonhaebunny

“It’s just cute,” Ashido is telling them as she walks into the classroom. “Like, when you compliment someone and they get flustered so easily, don’t you think it’s endearing?” Kaminari blinks. “Like Bakugou?” he asks slowly. - 1-a realises that katsuki is really, really bad at receiving compliments. exposure therapy ensues.

he is bad at accepting compliments. this is a very, very cute fic.

The Friendship Ladder by nikkiRA

Bakugou and Kirishima tell their classmates they're dating, but everyone seems more interested in who gets to claim the newly vacated spot of Bakugou’s best friend.

as the summary implies this is technically KRBK, but the focus here is very much class 1-A as a whole. there's just something about seeing the entirety of the class squabbling over their Kacchan love that tickles me to no end. Deku is also fantastic in this lmao.

The Yoshida Trail by WinterSwallow

Mitsuki Bakugo returns with her gift to the mountain.

last but not least we have this gorgeous character study with a criminally low view count. Mitsuki climbs Mt. Fuji with an eight-year-old Katsuki in tow, as the fic explores his childhood and young adulthood through a series of vignettes. the insights in this really have no business being as profound as they are, given that they're voiced from the perspective of one of the most graceless characters in the series as she observes her equally graceless son through all the ups and downs and tumbles of his life. but somehow that just makes the whole thing even better. idk I just really love this a lot.

---

anyway that's it for now. hope at least a few of these are enjoyable. thanks for the ask!

#bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bkdk #fic recs #bnha fic recs #bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha

[junovuno]

|| How to give the Genshin boys affection

Cuz we all need it smh.

Just some fluff hcs. Also my first post ever! Congratulate me by following and giving me validation!

Warnings: Spellchecked by Grammarly

Characters mentioned: Zhongli, Childe, Wanderer, Venti, Albedo

||𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢 - 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

If ya really like Zhongli, the best way to show it is just by purely listening. When you've seen everything after so many years with no one to talk to about it, sometimes the wounds of what happened never go away. He doesn't really recount the old days with you. He doesn't want to seem as much like a grandpa with his lover, which is understandable. So you kinda have to initiate it first. And that's fairly easy! Just ask a simple question about the history of something random in Teyvat, and he'll tell you everything you asked and much more on the subject. After you get into a routine of him talking and you listening to his stories, you won't even have to ask to hear them. He'll just absent-mindedly tell you about his experiences. Sometimes they're short, sometimes they go on for hours. You don't mind, though. It always feels like you have all the time in the world with Zhongli. Sometimes, he'd go over a sad bit in his stories, and he'd hesitate. If it's too depressing for him, then surely it would be for you as well. To combat this, just simply tell him you want to hear the rest of his story, and he'll fold just like that. He'll end up telling you everything he saw, and maybe a lot more than you expected. Either way, you're there to listen through it all, comforting him occasionally. He'll surprise himself with how much he exposed himself in front of you and after he feels like he talked your ear off enough, he'll excuse himself with an embarrassed look on his face and stop his story time for the day. But as the days pass, you'll learn a bit about Zhongli more than he even thought he knew about himself. And by some strange occurrence, he'll run out of stories from his old archon days, and the two of you will only have the memories you made together to reminisce on.

||𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢 - 𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Your beloved Venti makes it harder for you to be the affectionate one, really. He's extremely clingy and likes to display that you're his whenever you're around people, often by holding onto your arm and kissing your hand. He's also a major tease and constantly leaves you blushing, whether it be from his kisses or his weird poetic metaphors that no one would get except you and him. So yeah, he has you beat on the affectionate partner. But that doesn't mean you have to give up entirely! In fact, Venti likes to encourage you to try and make him swoon... Although, it usually ends up with you being the embarrassed one and him being amused. And after your few failures at making his heart skip a beat, you figured out the most efficient way to make him blush is by utilizing the element of surprise! Venti least expects affection from you during his time of focus. And that'd be right before one of his public performances. Of course, it's a little bit mean to catch him off guard with a kiss right before he's about to perform, but you find he's the most reactive them. Especially when he's lost in thought beforehand, and you just happen to give him a kiss on the forehead to get his attention. Your sudden boldness may throw him off for a minute, but he'll be fine. In fact, he'll take it as a sign for him to do his best and may expect an even bigger reward from you after his songs. And although he considers the moments when he's the flustered ones to be a reward, he must not like being beat by you as the affectionate one. Because you've found that after your little stunts with him, you always managed to be the one dying from embarrassment afterward because Venti is a fan of payback. He'll give you so many various displays of affection all in one day... and in front of so many people, too. Teasing him may be fun, but in the end, your heart might not be built to handle the consequences of it afterwards.

||𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 - 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

It's kinda hard to get a strong reaction out of Albedo. It's not like he feels nothing for you of course! He's just naturally composed. So it's a bit hard to pinpoint what makes his heart race. But rest assured, it does. He's just very good at hiding it in order to get the most reactions out of you. After careful observation, you found that most of your methods to woo him were futile. He was just too good at being calm! Frustrated, you just resort back to what you usually do. Sit down near the fire and watch Albedo sketch. You ramble about your day, Albedo showing that he's listening by giving occasional replies or nods. And time just seems to pass like that, the two of you coexisting peacefully. And after some time, you do notice that you have successfully made his heart race when you look up to see a faint blush cover his face. That did seem to be the ultimate form of affection for Albedo. Having you exist with him. The simple moments where you ramble, he listens, or you're both in silence enjoying each other's company. The idea of simply having you by his side forevermore is enough to make him giddy. So do him a favor and set time from your busy schedule to be with Albedo, and you'll have managed to make him the happiest man in the world.

||𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫 - 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

So you wanna show this lil wander over yonder shortie that you appreciate him? That's gonna be a hard one. Bro's got more emotional baggage than a therapist on an airplane. But in all seriousness, he really isn't the type to show affection or expect to receive any in return, which often makes him seem much more distant than he wants to be. That's kinda why he cherishes the relationship he has with you the most. You give him the time to be able to feel loved, which isn't what many have given him. And although he acts like he doesn't want it, you know that a lot of love is what he needs. You show your affection to him in a lot of small ways and tiny services. He notices it, of course, and every time you do so, you can always see the faintest of blush dusting over his cheeks. Sometimes, he doesn't say much. No playful insults or anything of the sort. And on those days, you find that the best way to show that you love him is through a hug. A hug that he may try to push you away from, but one that you don't let go of until he eventually opens up and lets out the cry that he needs to cry into your shoulder. You'll hold him even after he's done, and he'll always hug you back, and the two of you would stay like that for hours. It doesn't happen much. Or really ever. And that's fine with you. You've learned to deal with his silence when it's needed. But in the end, you know that there will always be a time when he'll truly open up to you. And even though it might be infuriating, your patience with him is something he'll always treasure.

||𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 - 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞

He likes to think he's some sort of a mystery to you, but it'll be the exact opposite between you two. He doesn't like to admit it, but you can read him like a book. Sure, he tends to be the more PDA one in the relationship, but that doesn't mean you're lagging by any means. In fact, only you know ways to get Childe so flustered than he could ever hope to make you. Of course, he can make you blush easily with his honeycoated words, but only you know the thing that he likes to do most in the world (other than fighting people), and that would be bragging! He doesn't realize it, but he's very transparent. After winning a tough battle, the moment he sees you, he'll automatically go into detail about how heroic he was, and exaggerate the danger of it and make it seem far more interesting than it actually was. It's natural for you to give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him how great he is, but one day, you may just get curious and ask Childe to tell you more. This catches him off guard. Maybe he really doesn't have anything else to add, and he's already flaunted enough? Just kidding, there's always something else he's done that sounds cool. After a little bit of observation, you may find that the easiest way to make him turn red is to exaggerate your praise. Of course it's cheesey to anyone else that's normal, but going on and on about how great your boyfriend is and how lucky you are to have such a strong man will easily make him blush hard. And you've found that he's even cuter when he's embarrassed from your compliments. After gaining some of his composure back, he'll go back to bragging. A subtle hint to continue on with your praise. Of course, you know you shouldn't feed too much into his ego. But at the same time, Childe seems to have most of the fun. He's always trying to make you blush in various ways, and he always has a smug look of satisfaction once he's gotten a reaction from you. So there's no harm in making him blush just as hard back, is there? Either way, you're going to have too much fun teasing your harbinger boyfriend.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin men x reader #gn reader #fluff #albedo #albedo x reader #venti genshin impact #venti x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #childe #childe x reader #cute #follow me #headcanon #hcs

[empty-movement]

sorry but please... post your akio plastic covered couch tweet here... the world needs to know...

Warning: pics of gross shit happening on the couches

I'll do you one better and include the STORY! So, I, Vanna (note: Yasha mostly does the Tumblr and I mostly do the Twitter,) was smoking enough weed to knock out a large horse or put a very tiny dent in my constant back and shoulder pain, as one does when when they're a middle-aged Registered Nurse in the year 2023. (I'm 39 but it's an old 39, lmao.)

Scrolling through Twitter, I stumble on a fanart of Suletta from Witch of Mercury sitting goofily on a white couch. Now I haven't seen this show yet, but the white couch....looked familiar, and I know the show is very much a descendent of Utena in terms of creative teams. For those that don't know, the series is written by Ichirō Ōkouchi, who also wrote the two Revolutionary Girl Utena novelizations...which if you didn't know about before, you know about now, and can read translated on our site here! (Warning: Touga and Miki uh, in the novels...)

Anyways, so I hop onto my own website and start downloading the images that will constitute receipts, before realizing 1. these images are all on multiple computers feet away from me, 2. the couch isn't an identical match, 3. that'd have been weird anyway, and most importantly, 4:

AKIO'S COUCHES DON'T LOOK RIGHT. OBSERVE:

The edges of the armrests have sloppier upholstery than the blanket I have covering my computer desk. I took the time to tuck seams at least. What is this??

Now it could absolutely be leather, I thought. It would absolutely track. But leather upholstery doesn't look like this. It doesn't wrinkle quite this way. It would have cleaner seams.

No. No that's too shiny for leather. So here I am, presented with this strangeness I'd never really considered in how Akio's couch is drawn, and having spent the last few months learning about my Italian-American family history, my chemically altered ass came to the only reasonable conclusion:

Akio Ohtori has plastic coverings on his white couches, like he's a depression era American in poverty.

Fuck yeah, I though, A HIT TWEET, there, at the end of all Tweeting things. (Yeah I'm working on that, stay tuned, lmao. I of all people know when to bail on stupid men with stupid power.) Because I am me, I framed it as semi serious by pulling a context to explain it out of my ass:

I was joking.

But the replies? They were not. And then I thought about it some more. And I've kept thinking about it. Do I seriously think Ikuhara and Co literally are intentionally drawing a plastic covered couch? Doesn't that feel, Vanna, like a bit of a stretch, even for Utena meta?

Listen to that CRONCH when Akio sits down in episode 31, before Anthy is seen by Nanami. Look, the buttons on the back rest don't quite fit, but the rest? Yeah it kinda does. I was high, but not wrong!?

Akio *does* surround himself with a bizarre hodgepodge of Americana as an aesthetic. The arm garters. The piping and cut of his cowboy-ass shirt. His American car. His mullet. His miniature fucking golf. Why not the plastic covered couch? It's a trope of American poverty that would absolutely have fallen neatly into the diet of American pop culture that influenced Ikuhara. (He makes references to E.T. and The Godfather and Suspiria and all kinds of things in his other work, Utena itself is a little less obvious with individual references but inherits HUGE amounts of vibes from the same content--Ikuhara and Co watched Lost Highway in theaters during the production of the Akio Arc and I will not be convinced otherwise.)

So yeah. That's the story, and that's the theory. Do I seriously believe it was deliberate? Maybe. Probably. Possibly. But it fits so well it's headcanon for me, and in the Utena fandom, pretty much all canon is kind of headcanon so enjoy this one.

What an asshole.

#utena #revolutionary girl utena #utena meta #akio ohtori #akio's couches #do I really need to point out the functional utility of plastic covered couches for this particular character though

[squipedmew]

well, since the Dream SMP has officially come to a close, I thought I’d share what I’ve been up to for the past 2 years - making character designs for every single one of the characters!

 I really wanted every character to look distinct, with really distinct color pallets, unique weapons for each and every character - basically like each one of them could be the protagonist of a wildly different story from one another. Feel free to steal them (with credit) if you want!

I kinda dropped off working on it in late 2022, so I think I missed a few characters, as well as going back and re-doing some of the oldest ones (that’s why some of them are more detailed - those are the 2023 versions)

As strange as it is for me to say this, DSMP had such a big impact on me, especially over COVID. I haven’t had a piece of media fill me with such a passion to create art and improve probably since Undertale all the way back in 2015, if you can believe it. I owe a lot of my art improvement to this silly little Minecraft series, and though I may have lost touch with it near the end, it will always hold a special place in my heart. 

o7 you crazy, wacky, depressing, stupid, unsatisfying, joyful, hilarious, and amazing series. I wish everyone involved in it the best!

(A few extra designs under the cut!)

This is a 2020 Pogtopia Wilbur I made, and if I were to draw it now, I probably wouldn’t change a thing. This design fucking slaps imo, I’m still super proud of it. 

Exile Era Tommy. Wilbur’s old Pogtopia coat has been passed around so many times between so many different interpretations of characters, so I thought it made more sense for Tommy to take the L’Manberg era coat from Wilbur, since that was the version of him he idolized (This is an old version of Wilbur’s coat btw)

Post Dream-Getting-Sent-To-Prison Tommy! I wanted to emphasize how Tommy was trying to move past his trauma, so he shaved off the grey streak he got from the Withers in the L’Manberg explosions (I gave him the grey streaks before Revival canonized it - don’t ask me why)

Las Nevadas Quackity. It’s basically a 1 to 1 for his skin, save for the really ugly blue patches and hoodie I gave him. If I were to do it again, I would def change that. 

Snowchester Tubbo. Also still holds up, though I’m not 100% on the pants. This was kinda before goat Tubbo got super canonized, so I just decided to have the eyes. The scars are from the execution. 

Revivbur. He looks pretty good for a dead bitch - though I messed up the L’Manberg flag colors on the bandanna on his ankle. Guess he’s french now. 

Team Rocket era Niki! She took custody of Wilbur’s Pogtopia coat, albiet cutting off the parts that were covered in blood and soot (which was most of it) I also made her a fire-born like Sapnap, though you can’t see from his design - her hair is on fire when she feels strong emotions, and she’s basically going through it 24/7 during this part. 

Syndicate Niki! She’s calmed down and is no longer on fire, but her hair is still pink from all those weeks of constant rage and sadness. Also dressed more appropriately for the snow. 

Dream Post Prison. Mask no longer has invisibility enchantments, so he doesn’t bother hiding his face. Gotta wonder how it’s staying on though. Get this man some moisturizer. 

#dream smp #dsmp #dream #tommyinnit #tubbo #niki nihachu #quackity #technoblade #philza #jack manifold #ranboo #foolish gamers #eret #badboyhalo #skeppy #georgenotfound #sapnap #awesamdude #ponk #punz #purpled #captain puffy #slimecicle #fundy #jschlatt #karl jacobs #connoreatspants #wilbur soot #sophi screeches #dang tag limit

[imashoe69420]

Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

So since I’m doing all the boys, each mental illness/self-image issue will be separated by turtle. I hope that’s okay!

The reader’s symptoms are also closely aligned with my own as well as outside research. If you feel that something could be more accurate, let me know! :)

===================================

Rise!Bros X Reader Headcannons★彡

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Relationships: Dating

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (They/Them)

Timeline: Post Movie

Warnings ⚠️: Language, Mental Heath Issues, Brief Mention of Medication (Mikey)

===================================

Leo // PTSD

• Leo would be the first the know how to deal with PTSD.

• Well, not necessarily know, but empathize with you because of his time in the prison dimension.

• Both of you had vivid nightmares, so most nights, you two would stay awake together.

• The first time this happened, Leo caught you with your head in the refrigerator picking at some leftovers:

• “Nightmares?” The blue turtle asked, sleep lacing his voice.

• “Nightmares.” You nodded.

• You two finished some leftover spaghetti, then trudged back to Leo’s room, spending the rest of the night under the covers watching TNTL videos.

• This became a normal occurrence, talks eventually getting deeper:

• “It’s just… I feel so stupid sometimes. It happened years ago. Why do I still think about it almost every day?” You sighed as you laid on the blue clad turtle’s plastron.

• Leo shrugged. “I dunno, it’s more annoying than traumatic now.”

• There’s a pause when Leo took your hand in his own.

• “But I don’t think you’re stupid for it.”

• You smiled as he rubbed his hand over your knuckles.

• “Thanks, Lee.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raph // Anxiety

• Being the oldest in the family causes a lot of anxiety, especially in the Hamato household.

• You were also stressed being the oldest sibling as well. One of your siblings was in the hospital, and although it was just for a broken leg, it had you worried.

• Sleeping was a battle. One night, you were in the lair in Raph’s room.

• You slowly watched the clock tick by.

• 11PM… 12PM… 1PM.

• And you were still tossing and turning.

• Eventually, you started to think about your sibling and if it was right for you to be with your boyfriend rather than being in the hospital with them.

• It didn’t take long for the tears to start flowing as you had convinced yourself that you were a bad sibling.

• The snapping turtle eventually noticed your sadness and sleepily asked you what was wrong.

• “I should be with them, not here.” You said tearfully. “What if something happens? What if they dropped the remote to contact the nurse? What if—”

• “(Y/N), (Y/N)… don’t worry so much. They’re gonna be fine.” Raph tried to quell your anxiety.

• “But what if—”

• “Ya’ can’t live a life on ‘what if’s, (Y/N).” He interrupted you, speaking gently. “I know how you feel. You think I’m never worried about these knuckle heads? Ya’ just gotta trust them and the doctors.”

• You pushed your hair back from your face and sighed. “I… I know. It’s just…”

• “I know.”

• Raph scooped you in his arms and held you close. “You don’t have to explain. Just try to rest so you can see them tomorrow.”

• You snuggled up against him, attempting to hold back your tears. “Okay… I’ll try. Thank you. Really.”

• “What’re big siblings for?” He said sarcastically before you both eventually fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey // Depression

• Despite being medicated, there were moments when you would have a depressive episode.

• This consisted of staying at home, ignoring texts to hang out, not showering for days at a time, and overeating while watching a random Netflix Original.

• Mikey respected that you sometimes needed time away, although he was naturally clingy.

• After about three days, he’ll come visit you.

• It’s always a gamble with you. You either let him in graciously, or simply act like he’s not there.

• When you would let him in, he would bring snacks and DVDs of your favorite movies.

• Most of the time, you two would huddle under a blanket and watch those DVDs for hours.

• Other times, he would beckon you to come outside. And when you obliged, you two usually had a good time exploring New York and the Hidden City.

• When you were out of your funk, you were back to being physically affectionate.

• You were always grateful for your little orange weirdo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie // Plus Size

• Donnie never quite understood people’s hate for plus sized bodies, nor did he understand your misplaced desire to be skinnier.

• Your insecurities really stood out when you guys would go out or on dates.

• “We’ve been walking for a while. Are you hungry?” Donnie asked you as the two of you walked the streets of New York City.

• “I mean… are you hungry?” You asked bashfully.

• Donnie shrugged. “Not especially.”

• You shook your head. “I’m good, then.”

• It took Donnie a couple of minutes to become curious as to why you only wanted to eat when he was eating.

• “Why didn’t you want to eat?” He asked out of the blue.

• You sighed and shook your head again. “It’s nothing, Dee.”

• “No,” the purple clad turtle stopped walking, “I wanna know.”

• “Well… I dunno, it’s embarrassing.” You thought about how to formulate your words to help him understand. “When people see us eating together, they’ll just think that we’re hungry. But when I’m the only one eating…”

• Your words trailed off, and it took Donnie several seconds to finally understand what you’d meant.

• “That’s nonsense.”

• “Yeah, well, that’s how people will see us: a guy and his fatass girlfriend.”

• To say the turtle was angry at the absurdity of the world’s mentality on plus sized people was an understatement.

• He quickly took hold of your hand and pulled you back to the hotdog stand you’d just passed.

• “Two plain hotdogs, please. And some ketchup on the side.” Donnie told the vendor.

• He had really meant that he wasn’t hungry and only ended up finishing about half of the hotdog, but your comfortability meant more to him.

• After the meal, you started walking again before you took hold of Donnie’s bicep.

• “I really appreciate that, babe. I mean it.” You rested your head on his shoulder.

• The turtle leaned his head so it was on top of yours. “Anything for you.”

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt fluff #rottmnt raph #rottmnt reader insert #rise leo #rottmnt leo x reader #rise donnie #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt x reader #rise tmnt x reader

[legoiscrying]

Since you guys liked my first k2 analysis so much, I've decided to make a second one and mainly focus on things that I mentioned in the last paragraph there: how I see their romantic relationship. This is probably going to be more headcanons than analysis but we'll see lol (it ended up not)

As I mentioned before, I don't really see k2 having some sort of special feelings for each other when they're young. Meanwhile it can kinda work with Kenny, it's probably won't work with Kyle: Kyle already has two strong sources of emotions. His bond with Stan and his sort of rivalry with Cartman clearly means more to him. And to get myself more clear: No, I do not erase everything I said in the previous post about their interactions, they're still very sweet and in my personal opinion important. But if we analyse Kyle's relationships with others and give everyone some sort of a status, Stan would be "best friend", Cartman would be "frienemy" (it's not so obvious when I say it like this but we all should agree that Kyle cares a lot about the shit Cartman says, not necessarily in a good way but it's still a huge source of emotions for him). And Kenny, as I believe, would be just "friend". Not much to add.

But if we're looking a little bit further...Time skip for a few years. Or not a few. High-school maybe?? Or adults?? Whatever you prefer more

From this part it'll be mostly headcanons because different people can see the future relationship of the main four differently. I'll talk about my personal point of view here (I think it's the most popular one in the fandom anyways)

So this is where Kyle's previous sources of strong emotions are kind of fading away. With Stan...I'm almost sure that no one is going to argue with me for this. Stan, as a depressed individual, would probably at some point of his adulthood change his relationships with people. He'd cut contact with some and just sort of change his attitude to other. And although I believe Stan and Kyle would still be friends (close friends??) when they grow up...There's not going to be the "bond" as strong as it was before. This is debatable, but even if you don't agree with my statement: One source of strong emotions is definitely not enough.

With Cartman my point of view is much easier to explain: they're not kids anymore. I believe their rivalry won't dissappear, but. They're not kids and not gonna fight 24/7. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this properly, but I think it's just not gonna take all their time. So yeah. It's not enough

AND THAT'S WHERE WE FINALLY GO BACK TO K2. THANK GOD.

Kyle feels a bit more lonely. So he hangs out with Kenny, who pretty much feels the same. They spend time together, talk a lot, remember some things...And realize how similar they are to each other (this part is also analysis btw, I didn't come up with it from nothing). They realize that back then they both were trying to act kind to people around them, but no one seemed to appreciate it as much as they wanted. They were doing it differently and was getting treated differently, but in the end both ended up being lonely without much people around. You. You can feel my thought here. right

They realize how similar they feel, so they decide to try to help each other. Just make some company. It won't hurt, right?

It didn't. I see them a bit fast burn... They start to appreciate each other's company more. And more. They hang out in a lot of different places. Anywhere you can get your old buddy: like seeing some cool movies with him, taking him to restaurants so you can make sure he eats well, sometimes going to his ol' house with him to help his sister...At some point Kenny starts calling it "dates", and Kyle is extremely flustered about this.

Kyle falls first, but Kenny confesses first: so their relationship-thing happens not so long after that.

And yep. This is what I wanted to share from now. I really hope someone reads all that xD

Love k2, appreciate k2, enjoy k2, share k2. They're very lovable little guys!

(If this gets 100 likes AGAIN I will write k2 headcanons. Go)

#south park #sp #kenny mccormick #kenny #kenneth mccormick #sp kenny #sp kenny mccormick #kyle brovlofski #sp kyle #sp kyle broflovski #k2 #kyle x kenny #kenny x kyle #sp k2 #sp kenny x kyle #sp kyle x kenny

[shiftingconfessions]

TW: Beginner venting!

(Would appreciate advice)

I've first heard about shifting in 2021, but only believed in it in 2022.

My heart was so broken from trauma, depression and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) that certain night I was just crying and didn't know what to do — then I just remembered about shifting. Belief and hope born from the pain.

Now I'm going to be honest, I'm not the type that can claim they've tried everything for years. I didn't; and what I did, I didn't do it consistently. The thing is: I'm a highly sensitive person. And I sure don't handle failure well. I feel heartbroken and afraid it's going to take more years for me to succeed, every single time I perceive I'm in my CR after a shifting attempt. I know we're always shifting, and a part of us always shifts in the attempts — but honestly? That means to me as much as knowing that technically polar bears aren't white. It can get to the point I feel physical pain in my chest, and sometimes it triggers full blown gastritis crisis. So I tend to give up again and again.

I know I should be patient, stick with a shifting routine, build and fellow a plan assuming that I will shift. I feel like I really believe in shifting and that I'm going to shift — the question is "when". That's what haunts me. It hurts just to think that this will take longer. My CR situation isn't great. SAD engulfed my whole life. I'm 20 and I can't study, work, nor date, and I almost don't get out of my house. My family have bad monetary conditions and I know I'm being a burden. I feel like a failure and the despair grows as time goes by. I'm in therapy and I'm trying to get better, but I still am not. And towards my SAD, yes, I can say I've tried everything, for more than a decade. So just "resolve your CR problems and then come back" isn't quite an option.

I feel so confused. People say shifting is so easy, so why so many people have difficulty with it? This makes me feel guilty for still not being able to. And also makes me so jealous. Guess this is kinda common for baby shifters, the jealousy. I'm jealous of the success and jealous of their skillsets/gifts. Which again makes me feel guilty, because it's pretty icky to desire their outcomes and don't pay the price they did. Well, that doesn't apply to cases where people shoft after little to no effort and time; then I just feel unlucky. When I see posts like "I've taught my friend/sister/brother/etc how to shift and they did!", oh, it's the worse. I get so jealous of these ones, because it really seems so good to be "adopted" by an experienced shifter. I honestly feel like I'm walking without sight; I just know where I want to end at, but the path is a messy mystery.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy. It's not like I'm not willing to pay the price of magic — like, common. It's just a little learning and then I'll have the whole multiverse. And although I really am hardworking, I don't say this just about me. I feel like most of us aren't lazy at all; to work is human. The problem is the emotional and psychological part of the journey. The problem is the time. The problem is how long is this process going to take.

"Just be patient and do the right things consistently" I tell myself, but I don't really know how to do that. Not when my heart aches and my CR devour my remaining sanity. And It's such a hard thought knowing heaven is just behind a door I can see but fail to open.

I can understand why people that already shifted see our pre-shift reactions as drama (I mean, is just a tiny bit of stress time in comparison with a life full of shifts). But right now, it really hurts. It really is intense for me. I don't know how to care less, how to feel less.

I don't have any friends into shifting, and I would love to just have someone I trust to talk about it. Sometimes I think I could tell my besties about it; but I know that they'll think I'm just being delusional, escapist and that believing in this is self-destructive. Or worse, they can believe in it and end in a place similar to mine. I plan on telling them when I already shifted, though.

I want to make online friends into shifting, but I'm so afraid people will hate me because I'm currently not the most pleasant company.

.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting realities #desired reality #shifting community #shifting

[recurring-polynya]

It's been over a year, and I'm still never not thinking about the fact that that Hihiou Zabimaru was one man's unsuccessful forty-year project to beat Kuchiki Byakuya in particular. And, like, that sounds so pathetic and depressing, but it's really not! For one, the fact that Hihiou Zabimaru is designed to fight against Senbonzakura means that they also fight really well together, in the sense that they are both useful in the same conditions, and they cover for each other's weaknesses (Senbonzakura is faster, Zabimaru is more durable). Both of them can do offense or defense, but have trouble doing both at once. That's not a problem if Byakuya and Renji work together, and gives them a lot of flexibility.

Sometimes the way to defeat a sword is to create its opposite, but in this case, they're actually pretty similar, and if you think about the skills needed to wield them, they're very similar. For all that Byakuya and Renji butted heads in the Soul Society Arc, they get their shit sorted out pretty well, and by the TYBW, I think they have one of the best captain-lieutenant fighting partnerships, in terms of communication, trust, and sweet combo moves (Hitsugaya-Matsumoto is the other one that comes close, imo).

My thesis of this Tumblr post is that I think Byakuya spent a lot of time mentoring Renji, and the development of his bankai, specifically. From the first moment he sees it, Byakuya comments that Hihiou Zabimaru is Good, Actually.

He then immediately identifies how to defeat it:

I simply love whenever one slightly older Bleach character who is fighting a younger one cannot stop themself from giving battle tips and general life advice to their opponents (Ikkaku and Renji both do this to Ichigo and then Byakuya does this to Renji). I'm sure you could chalk it up to shounen manga using its characters as mouthpieces to explain what's going on, but in my mind and in my heart, it's because these dudes just love teaching!!! And you know why Byakuya was able to pinpoint Renji's weakness, just, immediately? Because that was him. You think Ginrei didn't do exactly this same thing to him a thousand times when he was learning to use Senbonzakura Kageyoshi?? (oh shit oh FUCK it's literally The Dodge all over again).

Anyway, you will never convince me that Byakuya doesn't love the fact that Renji picked him as his Favored Enemy and then went ahead and developed the Most Fun Bankai Possible for Senbonzakura Kageyoshi to Fight.

Just today, I realized that, while So-oh Zabimaru might represent Renji moving on from his rivalry with Byakuya, they also contain a very visible aspect of Byakuya's influence: the hand movement.

I'm not gonna lie, mostly I wanted to make this post because the idea of post-Blood War Byakuya and Renji sparring in bankai and waving their arms around like they're casting wizard spells is extremely hilarious to me. Do you think Byakuya could shape his petals into a giant hand so they can magically arm-wrestle? (RIP Komamura, this could have been you)

All jokes aside, though, the idea that it took Byakuya's help for Renji to learn to use The Grabby Arm--the thing that allows him to close distance, the thing that allows him to hold on to the things that matter to him--is honestly kinda poignant.

#renji abarai #byakuya kuchiki #byakuya and renji's weird relationship #rukia and renji are. combined. the little sibling byakuya never knew he wanted #rukia is his actual sibling which works because she's as uncomfy expressing affection as he is #renji is the pseudo-sibling who wants to be just like him and also they get to beat each other up #just an extremely ideal setup for ol' B #renji would be a bad real sib tho because he would want hugs #kuchiki do not hug #it's possible that rukia hugs renji. that is none of byakuya's business and he does not wish to know anything about it

[skinwalker-bratz]

Just read the dr post and holy shit- I thought ej would be like. One of the less filthy ones💀 Did you ever meet Ben, or X-virus? I know you said they’re not social whatsoever(which makes sense), But like. I’m curious- Did you have to do any of the ‘Work?’ Or like,,, Did you have a ‘job’ there, or jus kinda vibed? Also wdym sally was scary- Ok well that’s vague of me,, I mean like. I figured she’d just look like a normal, if not shell shocked, 8 year old covered in blood-

OH ALSO did you ever see kagekao? What were some of the scarier looking creeps?

-💀 (sorry for talking so much, I’m a big fan of creepypasta so I’m very interested ^^; )

I HAD WRITTEN A TEXT HERE AND LOST IT WHEN I CLOSED THE APP AAAAAA

Talking about my experiences shifting to creepypasta reality again:

I also thought that the EJ was clean before shifting. I had simply told the universe to send me the most realistic version of them possible, both psychologically and physically. And come to think of it, a being with animalistic instincts, who is "undead" and possessed by a DEMON, it became more obvious that he would not be clean. Besides, he seemed to have a deplorable mental state, I don't know if he had low self-esteem like people do in headcannons, but he seemed to have little energy for everything, almost like a like a depressed person.

About Ben and xvirus, I only saw them a few times, I didn't have much interest in them, but I can say that Ben was another virus that only manifested itself in electronic objects, only without a physical or ethereal body, like an Alexa. The x virus was a weird guy, like the ones that make you uncomfortable just by their presence. He looked like any ordinary white guy, not ugly or handsome, but he had a horrible vibe.

My "work" there was like everyone else's, but I decided to put it in the script that I would "blackout" until I finished doing it. Since it involved not so cool things and I didn't want to have memories of that and come back here with some trauma even though it was "me" doing it (which would probably make it much worse). The mansion and living with those monsters were enough.

As I said, Sally gave me the most chills, but that wasn't just because of her appearance,which was quite sinister since it could often appear malformed and sometimes missing parts, such as legs, parts of the skin or face. She disturbed me because I remembered her story and what she went through, and as I'm a person who thinks too much, I kept wondering if she got the justice she deserved. if her uncle suffered any punishment, how the family reacted when they found out what happened to her, or if they managed to find her. And her story is very sad for me and gives me a lot of triggers, and seeing her in person was something that made me even more disturbed by her. Oh, and sometimes she would follow people around the mansion, or wants to play with you if she likes you, which can't be very nice if you are not used to her and given the circumstances regarding her appearance. And if you see something being dragged or hear footsteps behind you and children's laughter at night, it could just be her.

Regarding kagekao, no, I didn't see him there. I also had no interest in meeting him since he is friends with certain people that the entire fandom hates... I wouldn't be able to bear meeting this certain person, and also whoever he's friends with, but maybe I can see him next time, just put it in the script.

Even though my experience was less than pleasant most of the time, I gave up after a week there, I was able to shift more easily, now I have the symptoms of hearing voices, feeling touches and my body floating when I shift, which is a little scary but it means I've improved a lot. Apart from the ease to do it now, so it was worth it in that aspect.

#reality shift #reality shifting #shifter #creepypasta shifting #shifting experiences #shifting #creepypasta #eyeless jack #creepypasta fandom #cody x virus #x virus #kagekao #ben drowned #sally williams #sally creepypasta #slendermansion #slendermanor

[usernamesarehard1]

I feel like we don't talk enough about Call's backstory. I mean, it was really tragic and set the stage for all of his emotional turmoil throughout the series.

He lives in a town where his dad is considered crazy/insane/etc, and so everyone assumes that Call is crazy too or that Alastair is causing some kind of harm to him.

Adults and children alike hate him solely because they don't understand him. He is literally physically and verbally attacked and beaten constantly by his classmates for being disabled and for being "weird", and the teachers do nothing about it. Like he actually canoncially experiences constant abuse

And then he gets home and he can't even really open up to his dad, the ONLY person in his life, because Alastair is so emotionally closed off due to his own traumas. And then he has to worry about Alastair instead of worrying about himself.

Like, Call was literally traumatized and thought that he was an awful person because everyone told him he was and physically punished him for his existence.

And I am in no way an expert on any psychological disorders but when I have read about the basics of certain ones, it would not surprise me if Call would be diagnosed with some of them irl. Like when I was researching "quiet bpd" at one point it sounded just like Call to me. He has no sense of person identity and tears himself down inside thinking he is a terrible person, while simultaneously going back and forth between putting his friends on a pedestal and distrusting them entirely. And we see in the books how he is very clingy to Aaron and Tamara, especially Aaron, and has to use them as a safety net for himself. And how he is just constantly terrified of abandonment, especially by Aaron and Tamara. And how he isolated himself so much and struggles to process or express his emotions.

And when I read a bit about ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) I sounded similar to Call. Like, Call does seem to have a distrust for and rejection of authority in the beginning of the series, which makes sense because the authority in his life (teachers, etc) only put him down for struggling. It isn't until he realizes Rufus has his best interests at heart (most of the time) that be begins to trust him, but he is still very wary of the other Masters and Assembly members. And from what I have read ODD tends to primarily affect children and becomes easier to move past as they get older so Call slowly becoming more trusting of authority over the course of the books makes sense.

(Sorry if I didn't explain those things well, it's very indepth in my brain but hard to put into words)

Obviously these two diagnoses are very broad spectrums but it would not surprise me if Call feel somewhere on them.

And then of course Call obviously has social anxiety and depression in the books. And it would not surprise me if he had some sort of PTSD going into the Magisterium based on his upbringing. And I have seen a few people say that his Evil Overlord List could be a sign of a specific type of OCD.

Like, Call was a KID. This was the only world he ever knew. In his most impressionable years he knew nothing but hate from people outside his family and very limited emotional support or connection inside his family.

Again, I'm no expert on any of these things. I just have basic info, but when I did learn immediately made me think of Call. Tbh I feel anxious about posting this because I'm terrified I have something wrong here or that i am misremembering something. I just wanted to share the connections my brain made.

I really wish the books had more about Call's friendship with Aaron and Tamara helping all of them to start heal through each other's comfort since none of them ever really had that emotional support prior to each other.

And tbh I'm kinda surprised Rufus didn't notice a lot of what was going on with Call. I really wish the books had delved into that more rather than having Rufus get mad at Call for his trauma responses.

Also, what happens when Call goes home during the summer (especially when Aaron wasn't there)? Was he attacked again? Was he verbally harassed again? Did he return to the Magisterium with bruises or anything? The books did say that he would often have injures from the attacks by his classmates (I remember them mentioning a black eye, split lip, and bandaged arm in one flashback).

I have just been thinking about it a lot recently.

#magisterium #callum hunt #character analysis

[ego-meliorem-esse]

I do love your takes because they mirror mine in a way, I am curious about your take on François relationship with Ludwig and partly with Antonio too. Alasdair is a free soul like him, there's not much to say about it there I think. Baby brother stole everything even the french menace and it bothers him but won't stop him. I do wonder about your take on Alfred's own relationship with Ludwig and the italian brothers. I hc he and the south get along really well but he clashes with North Italy bc he doesn't understand why Italy hides behind his airheadness. I know I'm in anon, sorry but I have many things on my mind and don't want to develop my own op right now bc it will take time to write it down

Ohh yess

Ok just a heads up, this is an expansion on the previous François post:

Ludwig and François have an interesting dynamic. At first glance it might seem like they are polar opposites in almost every aspect. And who knows that might be true, but there is an appeal to me of the sad depressed and drinking-wine-in-bathtub-at-3-am François calling up Ludwig just to chat and get reassurance that it'll be fine. Ludwig is young. He feels like he needs to prove himself on this old world continent. He feels the need to work more just to get to where the rest are. And as an economic powerhouse, he feels somewhat responsible for keeping the peace. Though, despite that, he is kind. And in the recent years (cough cough after Brexit cough cough gurgle fall over die) he and François have gotten close. As close as the ghosts of the past will allow, at least. So, if there is anyone willing to talk to, and even come over and make sure the Frenchman is not drowning in the bathtub or the wine, it's the german lad. Even if he's just sitting on the toilet, laptop on lap, doing work and listening to François' rants. It's the kinda dynamic François can relax in. He doesn't enjoy Ludwigs quiet company always, but it's a nice break from bickering with Arthur and debating with Alfred.

Antonio is a different story. They are very similar in their worldviews and mindsets. Two past empires grown up under Rome (more or less) and getting dunked on by the rat man extraordinaire and his big fat rat baby. If François is going to do dumb shit and get plastered in the town center, he's doing it with Antonio. Gil is also included. They are not the type of friends to talk about their feelings and go emotional on each other. But, naturally there is mutual respect and understanding. "The world has changed and its pace is too fast for us now."

Alasdair is someone who has seen and stood next to François for a very long time. I think he understands the inner workings of François better than most. And, in a certain way, better than even Arthur. From the fall of Rome to the 7 years war, Alasdair kept frequent contact with the man, both physical and if unable to visit, by letters. Alasdair is the one trapped between worlds and emotions after the Treaty of Versailles in 1763. Matthew, whom he adores so much, was abandoned by the man he deeply feels for. And in times like these it's very human to take sides, despite actively trying to understand each party. Alasdair chose Matthew. A boy he almost saw as his own. And François felt the shift. Less frequent letters and visits, as well as somewhat reserved communication when in person. They are still important to each other and always will be. But nations, in my hc are very human. I understand the appeal of making them non human eldritch beings, but i think they are very very human in their emotional and mental capacities and understandings of the world. Wiser and more experienced sure, but human non the less.

You also mentioned Alfred and the Italy bros. I'll do a separate post on their dynamic. However ye i do agree, Alfred and Romano are closer than Alfred and Feli. But what i will add is that Alfred doesn't dislike or find Feli off-putting due to the mask of airheadness. It's the fact that Alfred does the same and knows what it's used for and how it works that doesn't sit right with him. He knows the mask is a front for a sharp mind and knows that there is intelligence behind it.

#hetalia #ask meli #hws america #hws france #hws germany #hws spain #my headcanons #hetalia headcanons #ill link the first ask regarding francois but not right now lol

[lovepersevering13]

elaborate on tori springs autism

Ok I’m gonna start this by saying that the topic I’m most passionate about in the entire universe is Tori Spring (As well as Michael, Charlie and Oliver) being a very autistic coded character and so this post is a very long info dump about it because it consumes almost all of my waking thoughts.

Anyway, quick summary, I believe that Tori Spring has autism because of her social struggles, mannerisms and general outlook on life. Like how she always talks about not fitting in, she gets really obsessed with specific things (Star Wars and Solitaire) and she struggles to express her emotions, often leading up to an intense emotional outburst (Autistic meltdown).

Forewarning - I am obviously not a licensed psychiatrist (I’m literally just a mentally ill teenage girl) and so I don’t actually have the capability to diagnose anyone, I just have a lot of time to waste studying the DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision) and analysing Tori Spring. Also, Autism is different for everyone and this is just one perspective of it based on research and the DSM-5 which obviously doesn’t cover every autistic persons experience. OH, Also, I tried really hard to focus on using ‘person-first’ language when I was writing it but I may have messed up a few times so let me know if I did! Also let me know if there is anything else incorrect here so I can fix it :)

Ok now that’s out of the way I will start with what we know is true: Tori Spring likely struggles with Depression. It’s a generally accepted fact amoungst the fandom due to Tori’s negative outlook on life and suicidal ideation (at the end of Solitiare). Now, why is this relevant? Well Autism and Depression are often comorbid diagnosis, people with Autism being 4 times more likely than Neurotypical’s to experience a diagnosis of Depression.

So she’s already got that going for her, let’s take a look at Solitaire and some excerpts from that which highlight different aspects of the Autism diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5. This is based of what I annotated the first time I read Solitaire about a year ago there may be more that I missed.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

- “No- Tori just held a conversation by herself” - Becky Allen, Solitaire, Page 28

- “I think you’re breaking down.” I cough loudly. “I’m not a car.” Solitaire, page 311.

In this quote Tori is taking things wayyy too literally which is common amoungst many people with Autism due to the way they process information.

- “I think… it’s unlikely that anyone would want to catch a grenade for anyone else. Or jump I doesn’t of a train for anyone else. That’s very counterproductive.” Solitaire, Page 45

Again the literal thinking (I also have this exact thought every time I hear this song).

- “I drift away and picture myself….” Solitaire, Page 33

Ok so I didn’t want to include this entire quote because it’s really long but essentially she’s thinking about what it would be like to be, for lack of better word, neurotypical. To be confident in social interactions and always say the right thing, say things that people are interested in and to not be awkward or shy.

- “I quite like cats, and I saw it for the first time at lunch in the cafeteria. I almost felt like I’d made a new friend,” Solitaire, Page 68

Often people with Autism prefer interaction with animals, this is theorised to be because social interaction with animals can compensate for a lack of social interaction with peers. Oh also a lot of people say that cats are kinda autistic coded animals because of their similar mannerisms to people with autism.

- “Emotions are humanities fatal disease.” Solitaire, Page 346

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

- “I think it’s important to make the effort. Social conventions and all,” Solitaire, page 43

- “I need to control my staring” Solitaire, page 45

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

- “Then again, I don’t feel very similar to anyone at all” Solitaire, Page 20

Many people who have Autism (Especially Women) often report that they don’t “fit in” with their peers, there are a variety of reasons for this but it is often related to masking and just generally struggling to socialise the same way their Neurotypical peers do.

- “There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.” - Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 61

This quote from Michael is one of my favourites in Solitaire and I feel heavily related to the autistic experience. It pretty much perfectly describes the experience of autistic masking.

- “I thought it’d be nice to try and rekindle this friendship. But it’s too hard. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” Solitaire, Page 99

- “I’m no expert on social etiquette.” Solitaire, Page 140

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

- “I kick the floor and spin. The world hurricanes around me. I don’t know how long I do this,” Solitaire, Page 84

This quote is just Tori stimming, she stims quite a bit in the book but this was just one example I picked.

- “I watch that scene three times and then turn it off,” Solitaire, Page 102

- “Playing ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay over and over on repeat” Solitaire, (I forgot the page)

These are another two examples of stimming that I wanted to include because it shows different forms of stimming (repeatedly watching or listening to something) that aren’t talked about as much.

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

- “It’s not a very funny programs but I still seem to watch at least on episode every single day.” Solitaire, Page 100

While this could just be because it’s on tv I figured if she really didn’t enjoy the show she could definitely watch something else. This is probably an example of “preservation” which is a coping mechanism that helps people with autism to find comfort in predictability and routine.

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

- “The matter of the fact is that Star Wars was actually a major obsession of mine when I was a kid” Solitaire, Page 24

Apparently most children don’t have extreme, obsessions that consume all of their waking thoughts (I cannot attest to this, I’ve been hyper fixating on random stuff since I was like 2). Anyway, hyper fixation is a sign of Autism which is often overlooked in girls because it’s usually something related to pop culture and is ignored as just being “fangirling”.

- “I have already stuck all of Solitaires previous posts. My wall is completely covered.” Solitaire, Page 297

This is only one example but if you’ve read solitaire you’ll know that Tori gets very obsessed with solitaire and especially toward the end of the book I’d argue that it does start to become quite a hyper fixation.

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

- “I started to feel all this hair on my forehead and my cheeks and how it plastered my shoulders and back and I felt it creeping around me like worms, choking me to death.” Solitaire, Page 15

So this is an example of sensory overload, while this can affect anyone, it is very common in people with Autism as they often have a hyper awareness of sensory stimuli, causing it to become very overwhelming. So this can happen with things like sound as well and I didn’t put it in here but there is another quote when she’s at Becky’s party talking about how loud it is.

- “At some point I fall asleep but I can here all these creaky noises coming from outside” Solitaire, page 65

So this quote isn’t exactly that special but it’s the way she brings it up every time she sleeps, like she’s so hyper aware of the sounds outside that it begins to prevent her from sleeping.

Here are some other miscellaneous quotes that I wanted to throw in because I think they are relevant:

- “Who would I be,” I ask at one point, “if I were any of the Big Bang theory characters?”

“Sheldon,” - Charlie Spring, Solitaire, Page 100

This quote is nothing really I just thought it was interesting that Charlie related Tori to Sheldon as he’s generally seen as another autistic coded character (No matter how problematic that may be, I haven’t actually seen the show I just know a lot of people with Autism think it’s poor representation)

- “I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that and I don’t understand yet.” Solitaire, (I lost the page)

- “I’ve got to do something,” I keep saying,” Solitaire, Page 272

Ok so throughout Solitaire (and ‘This Winter’ and the ‘Heartstopper’ graphic novels) Tori displays a very high sense of empathy. Main examples of this are with her brother Charlie and in that scene where Ben Hope gets beat up at the Solitaire meet up. Stereotypically people with autism have a low sense of empathy but actually it’s a spectrum and many people with autism (more often girls) experience a heightened sense of empathy.

- “Before boys, before sex, before alcohol, before she started to move on while I stayed exactly where I was.” Solitaire, Page 353

In girls signs of Autism generally begin to manifest more during their tween/teenage years. Girls who appeared to be progressing at a similar rate to their peers may begin to fall behind due to the increased social and academic pressure. This quote could however be more related to Tori being asexual, which we will get into now.

Asexuality and Autism

As confirmed in volume 5 of Heartstopper, Tori Spring is asexual. People with Autism are 2-3 times more likely to identify as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Especially, the aroace community. The studies I looked at said around 30% of people with Autism also identified as aro/ace, this is also more common in women with Autism than men.

Autistic Meltdowns

So in addition to those direct quotes a repeated occurrence throughout Solitaire is Tori’s emotions bubbling up and eventually bursting out… and what could these outburst actually be? Autistic Meltdown.

The main examples that come to mind for Tori are the fight with Michael, that scene where Charlie asks if she’s ok and she starts crying and the scene where she’s talking to Lucas about Charlie at the concert.

Safe Foods

Ok Tori’s obsession with diet lemonade is kind of iconic. People with Autism often tend to have ‘safe foods’ that don’t trigger sensory issues, usually these are specific things with consistent, safe, tastes. For Tori, this is diet lemonade. Another thing to point out about this is the fact that she always uses straws which is possibly either a sensory thing or a routine :)

Ok, that’s about it… I don’t believe anyone would actually read all that but if you did… damn, thanks :))

Some of the resources I used:

https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sexuality/asexuality-and-autism

https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-infographics/autism-and-sexual-diversity?format=amp

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/08/the-bond-between-animals-and-the-autistic/623372/

https://socialcaretalk.org/experiences/life-autism-spectrum/autism-feeling-different-wanting-to-fit-in/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

https://jackiesilvernutrition.com/articles/autism-safe-food/

#Tori spring #Victoria ‘Tori’ spring #tori spring kin #tori and michael #solitaire alice oseman #solitaire #solitaire book #sprolden #michael holden #heartstopper book #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper #charlie spring #nick and charlie #autistic Tori spring #that girl is peak autism coding #autism coded #autism #autistic characters #autistic community