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notmrskennedy · 4 years

Text

Noticed

Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

A/N - Howdy! Here’s another little something from my drafts. It’s a draft and a half again so be gentle with it. Also, I’m touch averse and I would be so happy to find someone I wasn’t upset with touching. But c’est la vie! I hope y’all enjoy!

Summary - The touch averse agent starts getting touchy....

W/C - 2.5k

Warnings - none I think, but lmk if there is something

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If Morgan was being honest with himself, he thought you were dying. Or maybe ill. Or so feverish you’d abandoned every single principle you had. Because he’d been there that first day of yours, waltzing up from the coffee machine to see you nervously trailing behind Hotch. It was painful to watch, he remembers, so terribly nervous you’d envy the kid on one of his bad days.

He had smiled at you and stirred his coffee and remained optimistic that someone so obviously terrified would be a decent field agent. (You’d been decent and then some, especially in an interrogation room). There’d been one non-committal wave—distinctly reminiscent of a certain genius—and the first full sentence of, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t do the touching thing. Handshakes included.”

Every little touch plagues you. You’re six inches away at all times, lest someone accidentally bump into you or get the wrong idea that you might be willing to brush shoulders. There’s no friendly pats. No high fives. Certainly no hugs. Garcia is furious in her attempt to loosen you up—to no avail—but Morgan knows better than to push. Something makes you hate skin to skin contact and he’s not looking to share trauma stories with you. Not yet.

So this, Morgan thinks as he wanders into the bullpen while stirring his coffee, is a sign that you’ve lost your mind.

He watches as you carefully extend one palm to one Dr. Spencer Reid. Perched on the edge of his desk, you’re a regular fixture, just another cute figurine to add to the collection. It’s the end to some wild discussion he could hear in the kitchenette, full of flailing limbs and butchered sentences. Everyone always thought it was cute, if you stripped away how irritating it could be.

This is the point where you two are caught up in whatever moment you’re having, so much so that you extend an upturned palm between the two of you. Reid threads his hands through his hair, stunned at your peace offering. Or maybe an offering of something more than friendship. Morgan assumes its something more; not only because you have the softest grin he’s ever seen, but because your fingers are practically begging the kid to hold your hand.

Reid’s careful in how he asks his question—Morgan doesn’t know what it is, but he can just tell. The wide eyes. The scared contemplation. The are you sure parting the kid’s lips.

Grinning and blushing, you just wiggle your fingers. Murmur something that Morgan isn’t allowed to hear. Something only for Spencer. There’s surprise before he grips onto your hand, wriggling all ten combined fingers together. You giggle as you spin him around in his desk chair and get tangled up.

Dropped jaw and grinning, Morgan can’t believe you, so touch averse you, are willing engaging in such risky behaviour. There’s a weird few moments when he wants to remind both of you to wear protection in such endeavours.

And as he’s wondering if hands need condoms, the two of you let go and move on like nothing’s happened. You go back to punctuating your points with your flailing hands. Spencer goes back to distracting from his blush with paperwork.

Morgan goes to get more coffee, trying to stop imaging that you two were his kids, growing up without his consent. And maybe also the hand condoms.

It’s shortly after JJ’s wedding—about midnight as the cleaning crew are picking up the straggling drunks—both Hotch and Rossi notice. They’re leaned up against the bar, each smoking a cigar, watching a slightly tipsy you teach an awkwardly sober Spencer Reid how to swing dance.

It’s no secret that you and Reid get on like a house on fire, two nerds that couldn’t shut up about whatever weird ass shit was on your brains. Rossi never made much move to care. Hotch was too stressed to think about what the pair of you did off company time. Everyone, them included, imagined that what time you did spend together was three feet apart. In museums. Wherever. No one questioned what kind of weird nerd shit you did, especially stuff that they couldn’t really be bothered to care about.

Now, they’re forced to carefully consider the implications of how touchy you’re getting. With Reid.

He’s even more gangly and uncoordinated than normal, as Hotch and Rossi watch on, getting thrown around like a rag doll. It’s kind of adorable, Rossi thinks and shares a well meaning look with Hotch. The two of you would be cute and he’s hoping that you do get together. Rossi always knows about these things, even if Hotch is positive that you two are just friends. And as two professional gentlemen do, they made a bet.

Twenty bucks.

Your laugh—one that no one gets tired of hearing—echoes around Rossi’s whole yard, even into his house. Reid’s voice is about two octaves too high as you spin him around on his wobbly feet. You go from three feet apart to chest to chest and back again. Rossi remembers high school dances vaguely and Hotch absently thinks about Hayley’s old infatuation with Grease.

Rossi takes another long drag from his cigar, grateful for the indisputable proof that you two are shacking up. There is no way that two people so touch averse could be touching this much without prior exposure. The yard is a ruckus of both of your laughters, year after year of awkwardness falling off you both in sheets. They’re no denying you two shut in nerds are finally having some fun.

It’s warming both Hotch and Rossi’s hearts.

And their bet.

Penelope notices next. Who knew that such a simple interaction could leave her speechless? Stammering and stuttering over not even a full minute of insanity.

She didn’t know how she’d gotten sick, or what she’d come down with, but the only thing that was keeping her in her work chair was you. And the endless buckets of soup that you kept pouring down her throat. Without a case—thank god—for the last couple days, all that you’ve done is sit in the bat cave, keeping her and her soup warm.

It’s as you are finishing some corny ass joke that she thinks how sweet you are. How loving. Penelope’s love language has always been touch—she’s given too many hugs to count—but it’s taken her a minute to figure out yours. And as she stares into the chicken soup in her hands, she realises that it’s everything you do for her. Your love is literally palpable.

It’s in the bright keychains you bring back. Or the crazy pens. Or the way you always drive her home after drinking.

As she’s opening her mouth to tell you, tell you just how much she appreciates everything, when Reid pops his head in, whole body following. He’s got too much of a grin this early. But when he’s far enough into the room, he spreads his fingers out over your shoulder and squeezes. Says something about a case and you follow behind him with a wave of your hand at Penelope. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Like Penelope hasn’t been the one furiously trying to break you out of your shell. The predetermined first to get a hug in the office.

You’re still up and still waving and by the time she’s got her wits about her, she’s asking, “You let Reid touch you?”

The empty room and the closing door don’t answer.

JJ is nearly the last to find out. Well, your little touching relationship with Spencer has been the only topic of gossip between anyone for the last six weeks. They can’t believe they hadn’t picked up on the little bits of affection passed between the two of you.

Hand touches. Shoulder squeezes. Quick brushes. The mystical hug Morgan claims he once saw.

For the rest of the world, you and Spencer were nothing but friendly. Maybe even best friendly. To the team of highly trained profilers who had been friends with the pair of you for a combined 15 years, this was marriage material. This was you and Spencer screaming the pair of you had eloped.

You two crazy kids had to be together, but the team was left to sussing it out for themselves. Neither of you two would ever say anything, never give anything up. But surely, the three of them—using Penelope would be cheating of course—could figure out when you two had started up. Because you had to have. There was no way all of this was just friendly.

And it isn’t. That much is clear when JJ gets a phone call from you while she’s looking a crime scene over for what feels like the gazillionth time. Some un-sub with the usual cocktail of daddy issues, anger issues, and a healthy dose of narcissism.

It’s rare you call anyone without good reason. You aren’t the type to just chat—everyone has speculated you got enough of that from Spencer. And once JJ says hello, you start bawling.

You’re sobbing and JJ has no idea what to do.

“Y/n, y/n,” she tries, hoping you’ll calm down enough to breathe properly. “You have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s—it’s Spencer,” you hiccup. JJ can hear you sniffling into your sleeves. Can hear the blinkers go as you change lanes. “He’s not answering—not answering his phone. And he said he’d—that he’d call, but he hasn’t. And JJ something’s wrong.”

By the way your breath hitches and your sobs crackle into the phone, JJ knows exactly how bad it has to be. Spencer, however, is supposed to be following up a lead with Emily. Some paint huffer in his mom’s garage—nothing more than a routine witness report. She almost can’t believe something would go wrong.

“What happened? Where are you?”

“JJ,” you sniffle before the flood gates open again, “I can just feel it. Something’s wrong.”

JJ’s mind scrambles. As much as you played it off, you had a sixth sense. Every time, every countable time, someone got hurt, you knew before it happened. You had a gut for these things and JJ didn’t want to think about how bad this was going to be. How bloody. So she scrambles for her car and doesn’t wait for the other detectives to figure it out.

JJ’s halfway to the witness’s house when you make it there yourself. You’re still on the phone, doing a horrible attempt at trying to keep each other calm. You’ve traded the sobs for hiccups, thankfully. JJ can hear you climbing the porch stairs. She’s taking corners at 65 miles an hour.

Nothing seems fast enough when JJ hears the phone clatter to the floor and the shout of “oh my god, Spencer!”

Nothing is fast enough when you’re sobbing out, “You can’t die on me like this.”

Nothing is fast enough when JJ quietly but distinctly hears, “I love you too much for you to fucking die, Spencer Reid.”

Spencer Reid always thinks he’s the last to find out. He’s blunt and oblivious and thinks too much to just see what’s in front of his face. He was so sure they had all seen how in love he was, just how desperately he was clinging to the hope they wouldn’t notice. If they didn’t notice, you wouldn’t. Not while wearing the same sort of blinders he wore.

But once everything had come out? He was positive everyone else had known. That he’d come into work one morning and there would be a cake engraved with the words, “Congrats on Shacking Up!”

It never happened. No cake. No lights. No surprises. No one seemed to know or notice or anything. Spencer and you went on like nothing had changed—it really hadn’t anyway. He liked to laugh when you told him the two of you had been practically dating since the first time he’d offered to take you to a Korean film festival.

Two years later and he’s become very aware of you. And also the ache. All of the very dull and consistent ache in his body. Another scar to add to the collection, he bitterly thinks, out of anaesthesia enough to know that he’s in a hospital. That he’s been hurt. That someone’s holding his hand.

It’s calloused and soft and just perfectly latched onto his. A hand he’d waited to hold for too long. One that he’d be holding for the rest of his life.

Attached to the hand is you, sleeping haphazardly between his bed and a plastic chair. Your fingers are tangled in his, head rested on the crook of your arm and the bed. There’s too much of you curled up in a chair. It’s one of his favourite bits about you, just how dedicated you could be. How you were always there when he woke up and always would be.

He smiles and chuckles despite the pain in his ribs. You wake with a start, one startled gasp followed by a shuddery exhale as you realise again where you are. That nothing’s changed. That everything’s changed.

Through lidded eyes, he watches your eyes light up, matching you grin for grin. He watches the anger flash across your face for not even a second, and he knows exactly how bad you want to murder him for scaring you so bad.

Instead, you press frantic kisses to the back of his knuckles, message fully received. You missed him. You’d been terrified. You’d cried so hard, he can still feel the salt on your lips.

“Spencer,” you breathe, giving his hand one more kiss for good measure and pressing his knuckles to your cheek. “God, I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“I’m alive, y/n, I promise,” he whispers back. Hoarse and adorably okay. It’s one thing to expect to get shot going after un-subs. It’s another to get attacked by a PCP addled grandmother.

He wiggles a finger against your cheek. Even though he can’t see your red rimmed eyes or the dark tear tracts on your cheeks, he can feel the tear that pools on his finger. But before he can reassure you one more time, you shush him and tell him to get some sleep and that you’ll both worry about this later. Maybe over jell-o.

He grins.

The team, visiting the next morning, doesn’t have the heart to wake up either of you. Reid looks happy for the first time in—years—with you carefully curled into his side. Sure, there’s a scratchy hospital gown and some pesky lines overriding everything, but it’s cute. No denying that. Thank god you two knuckleheads are finally being open about it. Even if you’re sleeping.

Emily smiles to herself as she readjusts her sling. Morgan and JJ are trading exclamations of shock, while Hotch passes Rossi twenty dollars. You readjust and Reid’s arm moves to rest across your cheek. JJ isn’t subtle when she takes a photo, sniggering.

Emily is even less subtle when she snorts. “I guess I can finally let the cat out of the bag.”

Everyone perks up; she swears she sees Reid open an eye.

“Nearly six months ago, y/n drunkenly confessed to dating Reid. She’s a real wild card on tequila, let me tell you.”

“You knew?” Morgan screeches, “and you didn’t say anything?”

Emily shrugs, winces with her busted up shoulder. “Does it matter? Didn’t we all know?”

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #mgg #mgg fluff #fluff

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masterwords · 3 years

Note

Heya, if you ever need a prompt: remember how Hotch told Emily on the jet in that she will have bad days and he wants her to come to him when that happens? What if they have a ritual like Emily is bringing two cups of tea and thats how he knows that she has a bad day or something like that. And then one day it‘s Hotch who brings the tea and Emily is like „oh, I‘m fine, really“ and he just says in a very small voice „yeah, but I‘m not“...

Thank you for indulging me! I don't write Emily often so this did provide a challenge. (1100 words)

“What's this?” Emily asks, peering up from the case file in front of her. It's been a long day and the last thing she wants is a distraction, she just wants to go home. She's about ready to tell someone to go fuck off, really – it's just that the person approaching her isn't someone she would say that to, and by the solemn features he's carrying, she doesn't think sarcasm would be appreciated either. Instead she sets her pen down and leans back in her chair, watches Hotch set two mugs of tea down on her desk. “What's this for? I'm fine...” and his features fall because he'd been hoping she would be able to read him better, that she'd see it was him that needed a minute or a friendly face or something he didn't even know how to put to words. Just tea with a friend.

“I'm not...” he almost whispers it, and she hesitates for a moment, almost forgets who she's talking to (because if it's Derek or Spencer or Penelope or JJ, she asks them to tell her what the problem is and the flood gates just open but not Hotch, he requires a different approach) before grabbing Spencer's chair from his desk and rolling it over to hers, inviting him to sit by bumping it into his knees playfully.

“You want to talk about it?” she asks and he shakes his head. His automatic response, and maybe anyone else might mean you just need to pry it out of me but she knows he means it. He doesn't need to talk about things. Sometimes that makes it worse.

“No,” he replies softly, giving her an answer, offering her a little of his voice.

“Okay...so you just want to sit here and watch me do my paperwork? That'll fix your problem?” She can't help throwing him a little sarcasm, it's who she is and he has to know to expect. If he's coming to her maybe he even wants it. He nods, and she shrugs – he's infuriating. Watches her write for a while, the noise of the bullpen dwindling around them as people finish up for the day.

“You're doing it wrong,” he mutters, fingers drumming nervously on his knees like he wants to grab her pen right out of her hand but has just enough restraint not to. He'll wear a hole in the knee of his pants before he does that. Hasn't touched his tea but she's finished hers.

“What?” she asks. “I always do it this way.”

“I know...” and it takes her a minute to realize what he's saying. She feels her blood pressure rise.

“Oh what the hell,” she exclaims, shoving the file away from her in disgust. “You're telling me I've been doing it wrong this whole time and you've just been...what...fixing it? Every single time?”

He nods and she rolls her eyes dramatically. Another tick up on the blood pressure scale. She wants to be there for him but God it's so hard and she's wondering if she infuriates him in the same way. She must. “I pick my battles,” he offers, and he doesn't sound frustrated or like he expects she'll change what she's doing after that. He knows she's better suited away from the files and if he thought he could afford the time he'd never make her do them, but he settles at fixing one part each time. He's more than a little worried that she'll start adding to the problems just to see how far she can push him.

“So this is what you wanted? You're having a bad day and you just wanted to sit next to me while I do my paperwork wrong?”

He shrugs, he looks so small and so sad and she realizes...he's just lonely. It isn't that anything bad has happened or that it's been a particularly bad day, he's just lonely and he wants company. He goes home alone to an empty house. Jack is in sports, he's gone often at friends' houses because he's at that age where he's ready to live his own life a little more, be independent, so Hotch sits up in his office by himself all day long when they don't have cases and the only time he socializes is during meetings with people he'd rather not see.

“You know...” she says, watching Derek and Spencer come back from their afternoon meeting laughing. “Every Wednesday night, those two idiots get together with some of Reid's art house friends...they go get drinks at some uptown bar and see a boring movie with subtitles. I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind another person in the mix who maybe didn't love it as much as all the rest of the nerds...”

He's staring at her, a little incredulous at the volume of her voice, her betrayal. She's saying it loud enough for Derek to look at him somewhat hopefully, a silver lining in his otherwise bleak night. They haven't really spent much time together outside of work in years but the way Derek watches him for a response tells him maybe he wouldn't mind it tonight, and Emily clearly wants to be rid of him. It must be bad if Derek is hoping for his company.

“The show is sold out,” Spencer interjects, but he smiles and pulls out his phone. “I'm sure we could talk them into one more seat though, my friend Jason is friends with the owner...”

“Or...” Derek says, raising an eyebrow. “Hotch and I can hold the table at the bar for when the show is done. You guys come back and tell us all about what we missed.”

Hotch glares at Emily but agrees, it sounds better than being at home and Emily's gleeful betrayal is noted for the future. He gets up, leaving his untouched tea for her, and grabs his things to follow Derek and Spencer out the door. It's better than being alone, he figures. Emily isn't so sure, Derek had been trying to get her to join them for weeks now but she knows exactly how Derek and his bleeding heart got himself involved and one time is all it takes before you're sucked in, an assumed part of the group. She's not eager to be on the hook every Wednesday, but Hotch could use something like that in his life.

Instead, she decided she would finish her paperwork wrong, figuring she was doing him a service...giving him something to do.

She was helping.

#aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #derek morgan #spencer reid #ficlet

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bettertomorrows-ao3 · 3 years

Text

Are You My Mother?

Ellie is frantic. Dina is amused. JJ has some questions.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

Tags: Post-Game, Family Fluff Rating: Teen for language

EllieDina Week // Day 4 // FAMILY

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It’s almost sundown when Ellie gets a visitor at work.

Her office is a medium-sized shack located near the stables of the main gate, a perfect place to house all the paperwork she needs in order to facilitate her new role as the patrol manager. Ellie had originally argued with Maria that the chore didn’t even exist, that it seemed like a feeble arrangement to give her a task somewhat similar to what she was used to just so she could still feel useful around town.

Maria admitted to some truth to Ellie’s point, but she also insisted that she would love for Ellie to start learning to ropes of leading the town. There was a buried emphasis in her request that suggested Maria only trusted Ellie to be the one to succeed her role in the future. That Ellie was already deeply embedded in the tangled mess of a family the Miller brothers left them with—and implication was what led Ellie to accept the job on the spot.

Managing patrol rotations is not the laid-back kind of job Ellie thought it would be.

It’s far more stressful than what Maria initially described it would be, but it’s a task that keeps her on her toes on a daily basis. It was hard to believe it at first, but rescheduling patrol rotations sometimes felt like hugging an exploding bloater. Not to mention how balancing patrollers with the right partners oftentimes resembled the act of gathering sheep into a barn. One wrong move, and a stray could lead the pack in the wrong direction.

Jackson’s townsfolk always knew she would have the job in the future, anyway. There was a tacit understanding that regardless of the complications of their familial relations, Maria’s niece would one day take over the duty of leading Jackson. It was never a question of whether it would ever happen, but more of when Ellie would feel comfortable to take on these responsibilities.

It came as a surprise to those who personally knew her—that Ellie would start making her way up before she was even in her thirties. Most of them thought they would have to wrench a 100-year-old Ellie away from patrolling duties, so to have her willingly take a job inside Jackson’s walls was a bit unnerving.

The desk job isn’t as exciting, but it’s definitely enough work to keep her busy throughout the week. Her favourite part of the job was toward the end of the day. When her last task was to wait for the afternoon patrols to come back home, and she spent the time quietly drafting ways to adjust routes for possible expansions to the town. Nothing felt better than to wrap up a workday with a glint of hope for a better future for her son.

Ellie is knee deep in concentration, head down studying a map and ready to sketch out a new patrol route when a knock on the door breaks her focus. It’s Andres, Dina’s new apprentice at the electric shop, a gangly young man whose family recently moved to Jackson. His presence immediately makes Ellie panic. They’ve only met three times since Dina hired him, and their interactions have been cordial at best. So, what else could warrant his appearance at her office at the end of the day if it weren’t for something urgent?

“Hey, uh… Ellie. A-are you busy?” he croaks out, Ellie can tell he’s nervous, but what for she’s not sure yet.

“Andres, right?” she asks hoping to calm his nerves even though she knows exactly who he is, “what’s up?”

“D-dina sent me t-to tell you to please… go to her house as soon as pos-possible once you’re finished with work,” Andres stutters out, making Ellie all the more concerned.

Ellie stands up from her desk and promptly grabs her coat from the chair, “did something happen? Is she hurt? Is JJ okay?”

She tries to calm herself enough to hear a response from him. Whatever it was must have not been too terrible, because if something dire had indeed happened to her family, there is no way Maria would have sent this semi-stranger to send the news.

“Oh! I don’t—um…” the young man stutters and brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck, “she didn’t say. I’m just a messenger.”

With her jacket half worn on her back, Ellie looks down to the scattered papers on the desk and then to the clock on the wall. She only had 30 minutes left before the last patrol shift returned and reported back to her. Ellie was not one to ever leave her post early, but she was unfortunately not immune to whatever nervous energy Andres passed on to her.

The whole situation was terrifyingly curious, and she had to get to her family to find out what was happening. Ellie scribbles a note on a torn piece of paper, neatly folds it, and hands it to noticeably anxious Andres.

“Since you’re a messenger and all… can you quickly send this to Maria for me, please?”

Ellie tries not to sprint to Dina’s house. She doesn’t want to alarm anybody in town, so she ends up speed walking instead. In hindsight, sprinting would have probably looked way less ridiculous than the quick shimmy her hips do when she makes herself walk fast.

The thought comes too late. Dina’s house is already in view when she decides to run the rest of the way.

Ellie pauses on the porch to catch her breath. She knocks on the door twice before she curses to herself. Why is she knocking when she has a key to the door? Ellie digs in her pockets for the familiar shape of the metal when the door swings wide open.

“Did you forget your key again?”

Ellie looks up and releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Dina is leaning on the door frame with a smirk on her face. She looks perfect as ever and all Ellie can’t stop herself from hugging her right away. Relief floods her senses when she feels Dina reciprocate, her arms wrapping tightly around Ellie’s waist.

“Are you fine? Like, you’re not hurt?” Ellie whispers into her ear.

“Yes? Is this a trick question? Why?” Dina is puzzled by Ellie’s panic-stricken face and leads them into the house.

“Andres said I had to come home, and he was all nervous and twitchy, so I freaked out and kind of ran here,” Ellie admits before adding, “wait, what about JJ? Is he safe too?”

Dina eyes Ellie as if gauging to see if she was being pranked. When she realizes that Ellie was serious, she laughs and gives Ellie a quick peck on the lips.

“JJ’s upstairs doing homework, but babe, you do know Andres has a speech impediment, right? Like, it’s a medical condition, it doesn’t mean he’s actually nervous,” Dina chuckles when Ellie finally realizes that there was actually nothing to worry about.

“A speech impediment? You mean to say I got nervous for nothing?” Ellie takes a step back to shrug her jacket off her shoulders.

“Mhm,” Dina agrees, and takes Ellie’s jacket to hang on the coat rack by the door.

“So, what was so urgent you sent you lackey out to fetch me?” Ellie tilts her head to the side, still so apparently confused by everything.

“Well… your son—” Dina starts but Ellie interrupts her.

“Oh no. What did he do?”

Dina points up to the stairs, “your son picked a fight at school today.”

Ellie’s eyes bulge out in amazement, “Potato picked a fight? But… he’s only five years old!”

“That’s what I thought!” Dina shrugs, “but then I remembered who his parents are and then I realized that the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Holy fuck, you didn’t not just say that,” Ellie laughs.

“I literally just sounded like my mother,” Dina groans.

“Seriously, though,” Ellie asks, treading carefully but not without a smirk on her lips, “why did he get in a fight in the first place? Because questionable parents aside, he’s practically an angel!”

Dina sighs and leans forward letting Ellie hold her once again, “he said he doesn’t want to talk about it. Only that he wants to ask you something important.”

Ellie glances up toward the stairs wondering what their son could possibly want to ask her. She wonders what kind of demon would have likely possessed their sweet little spud to attack another student at school. The worst part is not even knowing how to explain to their son about not resorting to violence when the world they lived in required such actions to survive.

Despite the severity of the situation, Ellie couldn’t help but to joke, “if he wants to learn how to punch better, he’s asking for the wrong mom.”

The comment earns Ellie a light jab to the chest from Dina.

“Oof. Way to prove my point, babe.” Ellie shakes her head and grabs Dina’s hand to lead them upstairs to JJ’s room.

They share a look understanding that whatever JJ wanted to talk to Ellie about, they all had to do it as a family.

Ellie enters JJ’s room first. They find him slumped and sitting cross-legged on his big boy bed. Ollie is on his lap, and they seemed to have interrupted a silent conversation between JJ and his beloved toy. Ellie slowly makes her way to sit on the edge of the bed leaving Dina behind to lean on the doorframe. Their family was complete, but they still wished to respect JJ’s request to only talk to Ellie.

“Hey, bud. I heard what happened at school today. Wanna tell me about it?”

JJ sinks further into his bed and fiddles with Ollie in his hands. He hesitantly looks up and whispers, “do you love me?”

The question baffles Ellie and feels her heart breaking at sound of doubt in her son’s voice. She is more than a little concerned that her son somehow thinks there is a universe in which she could possibly stop loving him. She immediately scoots closer to him and wraps him tightly in her arms.

“Of course, I do, Spud. What makes you think I don’t?” Ellie eyes Dina by the door making a speechless plea for some comfort on her part. Dina only nods her head, assuring her that she is doing all right.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

“What? Who the fuck is Max?” Ellie growls making JJ flinch under her grasp.

Ellie has a sudden urge to hunt down this Max to teach a lesson about not meddling in other people’s business. Dina loudly clears her throat as if to remind Ellie that she is veering off track. Ellie has to remind herself that children can be unconsciously callous and that whoever this kid was probably didn’t mean any harm, and most likely doesn’t know any better.

“Are you angry with me?” JJ asks her and slithers out of her arms.

Ellie is reluctant to let him go and only does when Dina approaches them to sit next to her.

“Mom is not angry with you, Tater,” Dina speaks up, “she has her thinking face on.”

JJ pokes Ellie on the cheek as testing to see if his mom would notice. Ellie fails to hide the smile that emerges on her face. She kisses JJ on the head and comes up with a way to explain the dynamics of their family to a five-year-old.

“Do you remember the book I read to you the other night about the lost bird asking the dog if she’s his mother?” he nods and she continues, “well, our family is kind of like that. You have momma, and you have me. And just because we don’t look alike, it doesn’t mean that I’m any less your mom than momma is to you. Do you understand?”

The truth is that the allusion to the old story isn’t quite fitting to their situation, but Ellie hopes that it is basic enough for their little boy to understand the way their family works.

“You’re the dog and me and momma are birds, and you love us anyway?” he asks so innocently she and Dina can’t help but to laugh.

“I love you always no matter what other people say, Spud,” Ellie reassures him, and she is relieved to see him accepting her explanation, “we’re our own little family and I will always be your mom, even when you don’t see me.”

“What about momma? Do you love momma too?”

Dina tilts her head at Ellie, mimicking the hopeful look in their son’s eyes.

“Your momma owns my heart, Tater.”

Ellie feels Dina’s hand grasp one of hers, their fingers intertwined. JJ sees the contact, jumps on them, and nuzzles his little head in between theirs. The moment was so tender they almost forgot what had started the discussion in the first place.

Until JJ spoke again, “if we’re always a family, how come you don’t live with us?”

And damn, their son really did have some hard-hitting questions that night.

#elliedina week #ellie x dina #fanfiction #better late than never eh?#super late but heck why not

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rudysrings · 4 years

Text

Twin Pogues of the OBX - 5

A/N: See? I promise I’m back lol...let me know what you think of this one...appreciate it.

Warnings: Cursing, Marijuana, Mentions of sex, Slow burn, Abandonment issues, snakes, etc.

Word Count: 3150

Masterlist

ON WITH IT!

John B’s van rolled up to where you and JJ were smoking at the side of his house. John B gestured with his fingers for you guys to get in and you snuffed out the joint, JJ readjusting his shorts as he walked up to the van. “Let’s ride.”

On the way to pick up Pope and Kiara at the Wreck, John B filled you in on what happened after you guys had fled. John B had been chased by square groupers and ultimately had to hand over the compass to Sheriff Peterkin. You honestly didn’t care given the fatal history that seemed to follow the compass.

John B stopped the van in front of the Wreck and Pope came out, his hands in the air. Leaning over the railing, he said, “She said she’s not coming.”

You wrinkled your nose, turning to your brother. “What did you do to her John B?”

John B leaned over the steering wheel, hissing. “Shiit. Hang on, I’ll deal with it.” He slammed the door and walked into the Wreck.

Pope climbed in and you questioned him. “Why isn’t she coming?”

Pope shrugged. “I’m not sure, but we got split up along the way and I think something happened between Kie and John B.”

Your arm out the window, you slapped the side of the van in frustration. “Fucking John B…doesn’t make a move when he’s supposed to and ruins everything with his goddamn timing.”

John B and Kiara came out within a minute, seemingly cool with each other.

The sun went down on your way to God knows wherever John B was taking you guys. You all had eventually stopped questioning him, hoping your presence on this adventure would bring him out of his delusions.

Once again, JJ and you were rolling blunts in the back of the van. “You mind if I just relax on this one?” JJ didn’t look away from his roll. “It’s been a long day.” He held it up to his mouth to give it a slick lick and seal it. “A lot of weird stuff’s gone down. I’m just going to lay low.”

Pope looked at JJ with exasperation, to which he offered his joint. “Oh, did you want a hit of this?”

Pope whacked JJ’s wrist away. “I-keep the signal clear,” Pope asserted.

JJ rolled his eyes. “Dude, okay. Do you understand that your problem is that you don’t get creative? If you got creative, then—”

John B interrupted, saying, “Look, I—I know I was wrong about the lighthouse, alright?” He looked down. “And pretty much wrong about everything else going on…But I-I was right about one thing!”

You ruffled your brother’s hair from behind his seat. “And what’s that John B?”

He took his hand out of your hair and gave it a sharp squeeze. “Dad’s trying to tell us something.”

You rolled your eyes, all of you sharing skeptical looks.

It looked like John B had brought you guys to a graveyard, quickly walking in a familiar direction.

Kiara spoke up. “This place is scary. John B, what are we doing?”

John B rudely shushed her. “Shut up. You know how you are trying to remember a song, but you can’t remember who sings it?”

You took note of the gravestone you were approaching and gasped slightly, taking hold of Pope’s arm, apologizing, and letting him go immediately. He nodded at you, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

“Redfield isn’t a place, it’s a person…” John B trailed off, raising his lantern to illuminate the concrete lettering of the words Redfield.

John B looked over at you. “It’s our great-great grandmother…Olivia Redfield. Redfield was her maiden name.”

There was a concrete door underneath the letters, but even with all your combined strengths, it wouldn’t budged. As you guys were pushing, you noticed movement in the corner of your eye and heard an ominous hiss.

You all jumped back as a large snake with raven scales exited through a small hole in the corner of the door, slithering away.

“Yep, that’s a moccasin alright!” JJ yelped. He started barking at it, which caused you all to panic.

Kiara whisper shouted at him, “JJ! JJ Shut UP!

“You’re gonna wake the freaking dead, man!” Pope shoved JJ.

JJ shrugged. “What? They’re afraid of dogs…everybody knows that.”

Pope looked to John B. “Look, we’re not going to get in there. It’s not budging.” He nodded at the door which you guys had all been pushing at. “We should probably just go.”

Kiara had her flashlight pointed at a medium sized hole at the top of the door. You looked at it, estimating the size before saying, “I can get through.”

“What?” John B looked at you looking at the hole. “No, no, no. You think you’re going to fit through the hole?”

JJ’s hand gripped your upper arm as he shot you a look of disapproval. You turned to John B. “Look, this is about Dad.” Shaking your head, you said, “And honestly, I really don’t believe in it, but you deserve to know the truth. I’ll do it. Besides, it’ll be fun.”

John B’s shoulders sagged with guilt, but you saw his eyes light up with hope. You wordlessly brushed JJ’s hand off your arm and walked closer to the door.

The rest of the pogues moved the branches out of the way and JJ ran a hand through his hair before taking a knee. He had his palms up on one knee, indicating for you to step on it.

“Ok, I’m going to boost you. I’ve seen it in the movies several times. Ready?” You stepped into his hands, using one of his shoulders and the concrete door for support. “On three, alright?” JJ asked.

You nodded, but in a rush of adrenaline, you pushed yourself up as JJ said “One.”

“Alright, just forget about three,” he said, breathing heavily.

You pulled yourself through the door and gathered your bearings. “Flashlight?” You asked into the pitch-black opening.

Pope handed it to you and you turned it on, getting up and heading deeper into the canal that you saw.

Worriedly, John B asked, “You alive?”

JJ added, “You got like a heartbeat and everything?”

Smiling softly to yourself at their concern, you continued on. “So far.”

You realized you needed more light and asked your brother for the other lantern.

You noticed something innately synthetic sticking out of the rocks in the walls. “Oh my God,” you breathed.

You reached in and pulled it out. It was a FedEx envelope…addressed For Bird & Starfish.

You handed it, along with the lantern to John B, who took them from your hands. He stepped away as JJ neared the hole, reaching his arms up to help you out. You swung your legs out, now sitting in the ledge. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you let JJ’s arms grip your waist bringing you down gently. He let out a breath and nodded at you, making sure you were alright. You patted his cheek and gave him a tight-lipped smile to ensure him that you were and walked away.

Just then, headlights flooded the graveyard and JJ hissed. “Code red. Code red. Square groupers. Square groupers!”

You all shuffled behind the side of the grave, crouching down and turning off your flashlights. Only, John B wasn’t able to turn off his lantern, instead struggling to muffle the light under his clothes.

You giggled slightly at the absurdity of it all, earning you weird looks from your friends. You laughed, simply standing up and pulling Kiara’s hand. “Screw this!” You whispered before taking off in a run with her.

Her eyes widened as you dragged her along, but her legs quickly started moving, as did the other pogues as they followed the two of you.

The large front gates were blocking you guys from the van. You helped Kiara up, giving her a boost over the gates. You were almost up, your abdomen hanging over the top of the gates when you felt a shove at your behind and turned to see JJ helping you over. You almost slapped his hands away from your lower half and watched as he giggled, mumbling something about ‘not minding his hands on your ass.’

As you got over, you watched as John B and JJ cleared it easily. Before you guys could run to the van, you noticed Pope struggling, his shorts having gotten caught on the gates. The men were closing in on him. You saw JJ instinctively grab for his gun and John B dived on him, the two of them getting into it with each other as John B tried to prevent a shoot-out. You and Kiara pulled Pope, who moaned that his shorts were going to tear.

Sure enough, as you got him down, his shorts tore off, remaining on the iron gates as Pope was left in his boxers. You all laughed as you climbed into the van, shutting the doors and driving away as fast as you could.

John B patted your knee, quirking an eyebrow at you, “You sure you’re alright? No snake bites or anything?”

You crossed your arms. “I think you would know if I had been bitten by a snake, John B.”

“It’s too bad really, a snake bite would have been badass…” JJ pretended to drool at the thought and Kiara slapped him over the head playfully.

You were all quiet, probably wondering what was in the package when JJ broke the silence. “Honestly, guys, I think the real question here is how Big John managed to squeeze his way through that rat hole in the door to put the thing there in the first place!”

You all broke into laughter at the thought of your dad trying to get his larger than life body through the hole you had barely fit in.

Back at the Chateau, John B was sat at the dining table, you behind him, your hands holding on to the back of his chair as you leaned over him to see the package.

JJ was trying to eat some sort of moldy bread, which you all wrinkled your noses at.

Kiara and Pope were on either side of John B as JJ walked over, just as your brother was opening the seal.

He overturned the package, dumping the contents. John B unfolded a map, laying it out on the table.

The first thing you noticed was a prominent swirl, a hurricane. Agatha. Then you saw the X. Holy shit.

“X marks the spot.” Pope pointed at the map and John B nodded, whispering to himself. “Longitude…Latitude.”

Then he felt something under the map. Your brother reached under and pulled out an object. A tape recorder.

He pressed play and instantly, the rustled, tobacco filled voice of your father rang out in the Chateau. “Dear Bird and Starfish…”

“Who are they?” asked JJ.

You touched your pendant, which JJ noticed. “It’s what our dad used to call us,” John B explained.

“Bird, I hate to say ‘I told you so,” but I told you so. And you doubted your old man.”

You remembered the fight the day your dad vanished. It had been awful. John B had cried the entire night afterward.

“I suspect right at this moment, you’re filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight,” your Dad predicted. John B’s shoulders sagged slightly as he buried his head in his hands. “But don’t kill yourself yet, kid.” You heard a tearful laugh sound from your brother’s crouched figure.

“I didn’t expect to find the merchant either.” At this, John B raised his head and all of you leaned in closer to the tape recorder, listening intently.

“You were right to call me out. Wasn’t exactly father of the decade,” Your dad admitted.

You tried to control the shaky breath that you released, but you knew that a squeak had made its way out of your throat.

“What can I say, kids? I could smell the barn…And hopefully, we’re listening to this in our brand-new sugar shack down in Costa-Rica, livin’ off passive investments and pulling on permits.”

You snorted inwardly at the idea.

“If not, and if you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that’s what the map is for.” All of your eyes turned to the X. “There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin’ happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kids.”

John B picked up the tape recorder, as if he could feel it coming to an end. “I love you guys. Even if I didn’t always act like it.”

Your hands shook with tremors and you gripped the chair harder, your knuckles white.

“I’ll see you on the other side.” That’s what broke John B. He got up, heading to the door and leaning on the side of the front entrance.

JJ looked over the map one more time and exclaimed, “Holy shit, he did it! Big John—He—He found the Merchant!”

You heard the muffled cries of your brother from the front entrance to the Chateau. Kiara approached him, glaring at JJ, “Can you…Can you, please just?”

JJ closed his mouth, mumbling an apology. You watched as Kiara wrapped her arms around your brother, shushing him as he processed his grief. He had been guilty for so long, carrying the weight that your dad had left because of him. Now, John B knew that your dad would have left no matter what.

You felt hands come over your own and turned to see JJ laying his palms over your hands, which were still gripping the chair with an intensity that should have splintered the wood.

“Sorry,” you whispered, letting the chair go. But your hands still tremored. It was like hearing a ghost.

JJ grabbed your hands in his own, nodding at you. Pope walked over and put his arm around your shoulders and you couldn’t say a word. It was taking all your energy just to swallow back the cries.

You shook your head and didn’t stop, refusing something invisible. Worried, JJ grabbed your chin, keeping you still. “What is it, Y/N?”

Your eyes wide, you whispered, “I forgot what he sounded like.”

Your friends headed to the docks, deciding to hang out there for a while to get some fresh air. John B told them to go ahead, walking towards where you were still standing in the same spot near the chair.

“You alright, Star?” He asked once everyone left. You flinched at the sound of your nickname.

You didn’t move, not even looking at him. He touched your shoulder, forcing you to turn towards him.

You looked up at your brother, his eyes still red and swollen from crying.

“He was gonna leave us no matter what, wasn’t he?” Your voice cracked.

John B’s jaw clenched, and he simply wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead. You pushed him away after a moment. “I’m sorry, just-just go with the others. I need some time.”

John B nodded, giving your hand a squeeze, and leaving.

Releasing a breath, you felt your knees shake, no longer able to support your weight and you gingerly sat down, bringing them to your chest. That’s when you finally let the tears that had welled up in your eyes fall, using your hands to muffle the cries that threatened to escape your mouth…listening to Kiara’s ukulele and the excited laughs of your friends.

You were lost…so much so that you didn’t hear when someone entered and sat down next to you.

JJ didn’t look at you, somehow knowing that eye contact would make you feel too weak…to exposed right now. He always knew. You lay your head on your shoulder, your bottom lip quivering visibly.

JJ held your head to his shoulder as your hand took hold of his shirt, bunching it up in a fist. You turned your face into him, shutting your eyes tightly, unable to prevent the tears from resurfacing no matter how much you tried.

“I-I miss him…so much,” You finally admitted, sobbing even harder at the confession.

He only held you tighter, letting you use him as a literal shoulder to cry on. As you quieted, your sobs becoming cries becoming hiccups becoming sniffles, you turned your chin upwards. You were looking at his jaw, which was set in a manner that looked uncomfortable. He looked angry, or maybe…sad.

“It’s not fair,” said JJ. “It’s not fair, and I wish there was something we could do but we just—can’t.”

“I know I said I didn’t, but I have to believe he’s alive, JJ.”

JJ nodded, finally meeting your eyes. “I hope for the sake of you and John B that you’re right.”

You finally began to straighten, pulling yourself together.

“Parents are good at disappointing us, aren’t they.” He said it like a statement, like a truth of the universe that couldn’t be denied.

You chuckled, your throat still stuck, wet with tears. You echoed his words back to him. “At least…At least you’ve still got us, right?”

A beautiful grin spread across JJ’s face, making you smile as his crooked teeth showed.

You flicked his nose. “You’re such a mama bear, JJ.”

His nose wrinkled. “Excuse you?”

You smiled. “The way you’re so quick to get defensive? And rarely self-defensive…it’s always someone making fun of Pope or someone treating Kie wrong…you’re runnin’ at em’ guns-a-blazin’…literally.”

JJ reached his hands behind him, placing his palms on the floor of the Chateau and leaning back. He stared at the ceiling. “You do the same thing.”

You snorted. “That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. I’m just mental. I go looking for fights. It’s not normal; it’s not out of the goodness of my heart. It’s-It’s borderline self-destructive is what it is.”

JJ pushed your shoulder. “At least she’s aware.” He straightened up, leaning closer to you. “Trouble is what you are.”

You nodded. “Does that scare you?”

JJ shrugged. “A little. Don’t want you getting into trouble that you can’t get out of is all. You wouldn’t do that, though, right?”

You had a feeling he was thinking about your earlier conversation about drugs. You winked. “No promises, Bear.”

JJ laughed in disbelief, eventually just lying down on the floor and closing his eyes.

He opened his eyes a minute later and you cleared your throat, looking away to make it less obvious that you had clearly been admiring him.

You could see his smirk in the corner of your eyes but choose to ignore it.

He stood up, pulling you up with him and leading you outside. “Come on, Trouble, our friends are waiting.”

You had the sinking feeling that if he took your hand like that, you’d let him lead you anywhere. Now that…that scared you.

Tag List (If there is a strike through your user it’s bc I couldn’t tag you bc tumblr is wack sometimes...)

Masterlist

@hurricane-abigail @omigodyall @timotaychalabae @kaelyn-lobrutto24@caswinchester2000 @meghanisdeadinside @harrysbbby @official-maddibrown @xdelicates @maybebanks@yourwonderbelle @treestarrrrrrrr @loco-latte @sspidermanss@theradvibes @eviction-notice-no666 @screamingnewsies @the-fandom-life-forever @dolanfivsosxox @vibin-n-thrivin @em-aesthe @the-real-jort @riverdaleserpent04 @free-pool-trash @mileven-reddie @drewswannabegirl @queen1054 @eternalharry@alwayshopelesss @superqalifragilistik @smileyxdolans@fangirling-all-day @dianaillusion @catonthesideoftheroad @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @thelovelydreamer17 @http-cherries @theradvibes

I’m also kind of new to tagging and rlly bad at it so if something is wrong, I’m sorry and pls let me know and I’ll try my best to fix it!

Stay safe and stay healthy!

282 notes · View notes

joshua-flipping-washington · 3 years

Text

EllieDina Week - Day 6: Redemption.

Shit, I apologize for this one being late again! But it got away from me, and ended up being my longest story yet. I hope that you guys enjoy .

Rating: Teen and up.

•○°●

Ellie stands stock-still on the worn front porch, the seafoam green paint that used to cover it in bright droves, was peeling off in little chips and flakes. Ellie raises her hand and closes it in a loose fist, her hand is shaking as she brings it forward and knocks on the dark blue front door. With a familiar three toned knock, she closes her eyes and takes a step back.

She counts backwards from ten, and draws in four big breaths and then exhales. Repeating until she feels herself start to calm down. " Dammit, Ellie- Calm yourself! It's just Dina and little Spud! We are just going out on a picnic, nothing too serious. " Ellie grimaced at her own words towards herself, she knew that she had every right to panic. Dina could have cut Ellie out of her and JJ's life, and just moved on. But she'd chosen to let Ellie prove herself, and Ellie would always be eternally grateful for that.

Ellie's green eyed gaze had drifted down to the porch at some point, so when the door went flying open she was quick to raise her head and brace for impact. She crouched down just in time for JJ to come barreling into her arms, giggling with delight as he wrapped his arms around Ellie. " El! I made yew something! " He excitedly moved back a bit, and presented Ellie a bracelet that was made out of twine, she smiled as she held her wrist out.

She watched him struggle for a moment with getting it tied onto her wrist, but once he did, she chuckled as he smiled proudly. His missing front tooth making it ten times more adorable than should be legal. Ellie turned her wrist over and examined the bracelet, it was covered in multicolored beads and had a few charms between a couple of the beads. She ruffled his hair, and grinned at him. " Whoa! This looks super badass, Spud! You made this all by yourself? "

" He made it at school. " Dina's voice suddenly sounded, making Ellie jump slightly and raise her head to stare up at the woman leaning against the door jamb with a loving smile on her face, and the basket for their picnic held in her hands. " He was asked to make a gift for the people who mean the most to him. " Dina raised the hand holding the basket, showing that she was wearing one as well.

Ellie looked back at the bracelet JJ had made for her, then she looked back at him. She sniffed, not at all oblivious to the tears that welled in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, pulling JJ into a small embrace. " Thanks for the new piece, JJ. I will wear it with pride. I still- I can't believe that you are old enough to attend school! " She let him go, and slowly got to her feet.

JJ rushed back past Dina and inside the house as soon as Ellie had released him from the hug. " I forgot! " He shouted as he zoomed upstairs.

Ellie looked at Dina with her brow arched in confusion, but Dina just shrugged her shoulders. Letting her know that she had no idea what he meant by that. " He's a wild card, he could have meant anything. You know, he kind of reminds me of you, when you first came to Jackson. Not the stealing a whole bunch of jerky bit, but just your general personality when you opened up and started talking with me. "

Ellie's mouth fell open with a soft ' oh '. Her eyes shimmered as the memories all came flooding back, and she chuckled. " Well, looks like your work is cut out for you. Having to deal with a replica of tiny fourteen year old me. "

" Yeah, I guess that it is. " Dina said with amusement, she turned to face the stairs as she heard JJ come parading back downstairs. His backpack all packed up and clipped onto him, like he was ready for a weekend of adventuring. " Whoa! What's all that for, buddy? " Dina asked as she watched him walk back onto the porch.

" Nothing, it's a secret. " Was all JJ said, his missing tooth making the his S's sound like he was whistling. He marched down the steps and stopped at the bottom. " I'm ready! " He announced, looking at both Ellie and Dina expectantly.

" Well, alright- As long as it isn't another one of those mice from school. I told you that they are alive, and can't breathe inside of your backpack or pocket. " Dina spoke as she walked out the door, closing it behind her.

JJ gave a firm shake of his head. " No, is not a mouse, Mama. Promise. "

Dina let out a breath of relief, happy to not have to deal with THAT situation again. " Oh, thank god. "

Ellie looked confused at the mention of mice from school, and all it made her think of was shooting rats with a BB gun back in Boston. She walked down the stairs with Dina, gently nudging JJ's shoe with the toe of her boot. " Fine, keep your secrets, Spud! " She teased.

Ellie was trying really hard not to think about the fact that JJ was going to school every weekday and she was missing it, because she lived back where she used to. When Joel was still alive. The place brought back a lot of feelings, especially one's about all she'd done to fuck up her life. But thankfully, she wasn't ever home long enough to be constantly reminded of the past. She just longed for the days when she could cuddle with Dina and JJ in bed, forgetting all the horrors of the world.

JJ gently tugged on the sleeve of Ellie's flannel, pulling her out of her thoughts. " Let's goooo! I'm starving. "

A grin stretched across Ellie's face as the old joke came to her mind, and she couldn't resist. " Hi, starving! I'm Ellie. It's great to meet you. " She said as she shook JJ's hand with great force. Causing him to laugh and try to tug away.

" You are such a dork. " Dina said with a fond smile, beginning to walk in the direction towards the center of town.

Ellie follows after Dina, JJ trailing along beside her. His backpack making an awful lot of ruckus as he bounced around like the happy kid he was. She side-eyed the bag with suspicion, her mind practically teaming with curiosity. What on earth could a four year old have that's so big of a secret, it must be hidden in a backpack?

Dina stopped once they reached the front gates, talking to one of the guards on duty. She had talked with Maria before hand, just to make sure it was safe. But she still needed to let the guards know they were leaving out. She smiled brightly at them, grabbing Ellie and JJ's hands, and leading them out of Jackson's front gate.

Dina drew in a large breath, exhaling happily. " I know it seems dumb, but the air always smells so much more crisp outside the walls. " She laughed as JJ attempted to mimic her, she tickled his sides with wiggly fingers, causing him to shriek in delight.

Ellie couldn't keep the big smile off of her face, she gave a shake of her head in disagreement. " I don't think it's dumb, especially not when I know exactly what you mean. "

《》

The walk to the picnic spot had been a rather uneventful thing, but JJ's excitement about every little leaf, critter and river definitely made it worth it.

Dina came to a stop right on a gorgeous riverbank, a field of small bright yellow flowers surrounded them. She smiled as she saw the look of awe stretch across her sons face, but she definitely wasn't surprised to see that Ellie was just as mystified. " Ah, I see that you two love the view here already! "

Dina set down the picnic basket and opened it up, pulling out the small fleece blanket she'd brought for them to enjoy their picnic on.

JJ ran around near the waters edge, laughing and giggling as the water splashed up and licked his feet. " It's cold! Ellie, come! Play with me! " He says in excitement as he crouches down and starts splashing at the waters surface.

" Coming, Spud! " Ellie shouts as she jumps over a fallen log and squats down beside JJ at the waters edge, watching as he concentrates on catching imaginary critters. " Look! I caught a big one! " He says as he holds up his empty fist.

" Whoa, nelly! That fish is as big as you were when you were just a little Potato! " Ellie says in excitement, miming the size of the imaginary fish and placing her hands on her head in wonder.

" Alright, enough fishing you two! It's time to eat. " Dina calls out to them from her seat on the blanket, she had been watching them bond for about ten minutes, a loving smile on her face. Despite all they'd been through, Dina knew that Ellie was the missing half that JJ needed in his life.

Both JJ and Ellie rush over to the blanket, laughing as they flop down onto it.

Ellie was amazed by the amount of food that tiny basket had been able to hold, it was packed with fruit, cheese, fresh bread and jam preserves, beef jerky and a big thermos of water. " I have no idea, how you managed to bring this much stuff. But oh man, this is a feast built for a king. "

Dina shook her head with a snort, gently shoving Ellie by the shoulder, before handing out the plates. " Shut up, you dope. It's normal sized picnic basket. "

Ellie stuck her tongue out playfully at Dina, earning a slight kick from the other woman's foot. Oh… How much Ellie had missed this, just spending time and being in the here and now with Dina and JJ.

Dina served all of them the fresh fruit, bread with raspberry preserves, the cheese and jerky as well as a glass of water. They all sat in silence as they ate, listening to the sounds of the forest. The soft babbling of the river, the leaves brushing against each other as a breeze blows through them.

JJ was seated in Dina's lap, he was munching on a piece of apple, while talking excitedly about something he'd learned in school. And Ellie was just beyond herself, head over heels in love as she watched Dina listen to him speak with such patience, love and understanding in those beautiful brown eyes.

The sun was reaching that beautiful golden peak in the sky, and it cast it's golden rays on the both of them. It was a moment Ellie wished she could preserve forever, Dina's freckled face as she laughed and tickled JJ's side.

" I love you. " Ellie blurted out in a firm, matter-of-fact tone. " And I always have, I never stopped. Even when it seemed like I had, and I lost myself. I love you, and- I want things to be like they used to be. I want to wake up in the bed beside you, and prove to you… How much you mean to me. I want to be a constant in JJ's life, I don't want to watch him grow up from the sidelines. " Ellie sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

" And I know, I have no right coming out and saying all of this- But I've been talking about it all with Dr. Monroe. And- And I just needed to get it off my chest, I know that it's stupid- And that all of that is probably the last thing you want, after all I've done. " Ellie didn't realize that she was tearing up until one of the sneaky fuckers slipped down her cheek.

Dina stared at Ellie in shock, her brown eyes flashing with so many different emotions as she searches Ellie's green eyes for any hint that she was fabricating something, anything. But when she saw none of that, and only a look mixed with fear, adoration and love. " Ellie… "

Could Dina let Ellie back into her life like that? Part of her was so unsure, and felt that same fear creeping back up. But she shoved it back down, and told it to shove it. Ellie had been working for two years, to earn back her trust. And… Dina couldn't lie, though she still shielded herself and JJ. Ellie had earned that trust the second she started truly working to fix things in her life. The things that ran deep, and cut to the bone.

Dina's eyes softened as she reached her hand forward and gently caressed Ellie's cheek. " Ellie, you stole my heart the moment I met you. I can't say that it doesn't hurt, when I think back to that night. But- I think that with time, we can mend those wounds. " She leaned forward and pressed a loving kiss to her lips.

JJ giggled and scrambled out of Dina's lap, flopping down onto the blanket in between them. He pulled his backpack off and opened it up, pulling out a small sketchbook that Ellie had found for him. He opened it up to a page it seemed he knew by heart, and proudly showed it to the both of them. It had the words ' My family ' scrawled across the top in typical toddler fashion.

Ellie furiously wiped at her eyes as she observed the drawing, then she laughed and pulled both JJ and Dina into a hug. " Ugh, I love you both so much it physically pains me- Would be a shame... If you were stuck with me. " Ellie said as she pulled back and looked Dina in the eyes. " Dina… I never thought I'd find myself ever saying these words- Especially now. But- What better time than now. Marry me? You wonderful, gorgeous woman. I want to spend the rest of my life, with you and JJ. "

Dina really didn't think that she could be more surprised than she was at Ellie's confession. But she certainly didn't expect to break down in tears, voice thick with emotion as she answered. " Yes, I wouldn't want it any other way. You… Complete us. "

JJ was still a little to young yet to completely grasp the concept, but he was happy because his Mama and Mom were. They spent the rest of the day just spending time together, talking and laughing. They had been given a second chance to grow together as a family.

#elliedina week #ellie x dina #The Last of Us Part II #Ellie Williams #Dina TLOU2 #Sony Interactive Entertainment #Naughty Dog #video game photography #video game edit #rich the idiot writes

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geniusgub · 3 years

Text

chapter eighteen

genre: angst

warnings: prison, solitary confinement, kidnapping, ptsd, hospitals, car accident (no description, just mentions), Cat Adams, allusions to sexual assault

word count: 12.4k (sorry friends)

summary: amelia comes to terms with spencer coming home. spencer needs to save his mom and catch scratch. it's too much for 24 hours.

pairing: season 12 spencer reid x oc

AMELIA

Being woken up by banging at my door was not how I expected my day to start. I'd barely even slept. All my friends came over to my apartment when I told them I needed support, and we wound up staying up until the early hours of the morning watching tv.

But Frankie shook me awake, telling me that someone had been knocking on the door for a few minutes and they weren't going away. I pushed Frankie away at first, murmuring for him to answer it himself.

"Lia," Jenna took her turn in shaking my shoulder, "it's Penelope and JJ! You have to open it. Go."

And so I pushed myself off the couch, falling onto my knees but dragging myself away from my sleepy group of friends. Penelope and JJ burst in the door as soon as I opened it, and in the past, the tear stains on their cheeks would have made me panic. But they're smiling and hugging me and grabbing my hands and the excitement confused me but didn't make me wonder what happened to Spencer.

"We're going to get him." Penelope blurted out, holding my shoulders too tightly and beaming at me and JJ. "You didn't want updates so I didn't give you any but now that we know about Lindsay and that she drugged Reid, we found evidence that put her in Mexico and we also found partial prints and we got them to a judge just in time and she agreed to release Reid!"

"It's over, Amelia, he's coming home," JJ added, pulling me into another too-tight hug.

I didn't believe them. Penelope and JJ seemed elated and ready to bring me to the prison, and even my friends gave me hugs when I moved back towards the living room for my shoes. But it didn't seem real. It didn't seem like reality. Almost five months without Spencer and receiving bad news after bad news after bad news, I should have believed that all of a sudden he's coming home? It wasn't possible.

The girl's ushered me upstairs and told me to change as quickly as I could. And if I believed them, maybe I would have dressed better. Maybe I would have throw on a dress and my signature boots and put my hair up and thrown in my piercings and slapped a smile on my face. Maybe I would've made myself look presentable. But none of this seemed real and so I didn't even care. I just threw on a new pair of pajamas and my glasses and ran my fingers through the knots in my hair. When I returned to the girls downstairs, I just grabbed my backpack and shrugged.

"I'm gonna take my own car," I had picked my car keys up from the bowl as we left my apartment. I insisted that I wanted to drive my own car and not ride with the girls and Luke, but Penelope insisted that she drive my car. Something about me maybe not being in the right mindset to drive. I didn’t have the energy to argue. So she snatched the keys out of my hand and dragged me to my car, making sure I got in the passenger seat, and then drove off.

The silence loomed over us as she drove and I just stared out the window at the passing sights. I tried to keep my breathing regulated and my tears at bay. A few slipped out and rolled down my cheeks but I didn't let them stay for long, I couldn't let that type of weakness linger.

"Hey," Penelope eventually broke the silence, "why aren't you more excited? Spencer's coming home."

I shook my head, biting down on my lip. "Because I don't believe it."

"You don't believe it?" She asked, glancing over at me. "We’re going there now, Amelia. Going to go get him."

"Penelope." I turned to her, my throat tightened to stop the flood gates from opening. "Every time I came to the BAU, there was some horrible news waiting for me. Spencer's arrested, Spencer's going to prison, Spencer's trial was pushed back, Spencer got beat up, Spencer stabbed himself to get into solitary confinement. I know you guys are amazing at your jobs, you're the absolute best at your jobs and I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but I'm not gonna believe it when you and JJ come knocking on my door on a random Wednesday morning to tell me that Spencer is coming home after he basically tried to start a fight with someone in prison. I'm not getting my hopes up."

Penelope didn't say anything after my tantrum. She just kept her eyes forward and she drove, and when the prison finally came into view, I had to look away. I had bitched and moaned and cried and screamed about Spencer not putting me on his visitor list but as I finally laid eyes on the building where Spencer was being trapped and tortured, I knew I'd never be able to step foot inside. I knew I couldn't force myself into a building where Spencer went through the worst moments in his life.

"I can't go in," I said to Penelope, and she didn't even ask why. She didn't ask why, she didn't try to convince me to go in, she didn't complain.

The three of them rushed inside the prison and I was left in the parking lot. I eventually migrated outside my car, leaning against the driver’s side and staring up at the clouds. I couldn't see any shapes at that moment. I wonder if Spencer was able to see any yet. The last time I'd asked, he couldn't. I wonder if he could look up at the sky and see a hair bow or a tree or a bird.

Time ticked on, and on, and on, and my heart sank closer and closer to my feet. I knew it was too good to be true. They went in there to get Spencer and now they won't let him out. Why else would it have taken so long? How long does it take to get someone out of prison? Surely not the hour and a half that I stood out in the cold, trying to bring my sweater closer around my body to keep me warm.

I just stared at the clouds and wished with every fiber of my being that this would be over soon so I could go home and curl up in bed. I didn't want to be trapped in my stuffy car, or stranded at this horrible prison, or anywhere near the BAU team.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out Spencer's sobriety medallion. There was never a day that I left my apartment without it. I traveled every single step with it on my body. It didn't serve the same purpose to me that it would for a recovering addict, but it did do something similar. It reminded me that Spencer would come home to me. Every time I looked down at the circular metal, at the engraved N on the back, it reminded me that whether it be tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or next decade, Spencer would come home to me. He would, like he promised so many times that he would, remember to keep going north and he would come home. He would do what he believes is right and he would come home to me in one piece.

I twirled the cold metal in my hand and tapped my foot, waiting for this torture to be over. And maybe it was privileged of me to have that thought. I had all the privilege in the world to be sitting outside of a prison with car keys in my hand and a car full of gas that could take me anywhere, while my boyfriend was trapped inside, wasting away and serving time for a crime that he didn't commit while serial killers roam free and taunt the BAU with what they've done.

When you're younger, you memorize the sounds of your family members. I could always tell by the sound of a set of keys if it was my mom or my dad walking in the front door. By the pressure and amount of knocks, I could tell if it was my brother coming into my bedroom to play or my dad coming to hit me. I could always tell who was screaming louder downstairs by the frequency, and I quickly learned who was my mother and who was my father, even if their voices were muffled.

I only started to cry when I heard footsteps. I heard Penelope's heels clicking against the pavement from a mile away, but the moment I heard Spencer's dress shoes against the pavement, I relaxed and let the tears fall. I'd heard him wear those shoes for the entirety of our relationship and I knew the sounds of those just as well as the sound of my own voice. That was the moment that I knew it was real. This was happening. It was over. He was coming home and I would have him in my arms again.

He didn't say anything for what seemed like the longest time. Even as I sniffled and wiped my tears, he just stood and stared. I knew that the moment I looked at him, I would lose it, but not exactly how. I'd yelled and I'd cried and I'd lost my cool at the team, but how would I react towards Spencer? Would I do the same? I was pissed at him, that's for sure. I was pissed and hurt and scared and angry, and I wanted nothing more than to scream at him for putting me through this pain and for leaving me by myself for so long.

But I knew that I'd give anything to hug him, to kiss him, to comfort him, to have him in my arms. I wanted to cry and tell him that, despite his mother's abduction, he's safe. He doesn't have to fight for his life anymore and he doesn't have to watch his back. I just wanted to love him endlessly. But I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see what he looked like and face what he had been through and see the physical effects. So I kept my eyes up at the clouds, searching for clouds that I could distinguish to be a shape.

He moved closer and I swear, I could've screamed. Screamed, why? I'm not sure. My chest was so tight, I needed to get some sort of emotion out. But I just clutched the medallion as tightly as I could and zeroed in on a cloud that could possibly, maybe, only a little bit look like a square.

"I'm sorry," he said, but I had no clue what he was apologizing for. Honestly, there are so many things. Was he sorry for approaching me? Was he sorry for going to prison? Was he sorry for getting arrested? Was he sorry for going to Mexico? Was he sorry for bringing his mother to live with him? There are so many things that, in Spencer's mind, he could apologize for. Why now? But I still didn't look at him. "I tried to see dinosaurs and cars and lamps like you told me about, but I couldn't. I need you to teach me how to see shapes in the clouds because I can't do it without you, baby."

The fucking clouds. He apologized for not seeing shapes in the fucking clouds. He apologized because of one conversation we had after I dragged him to the park after he came home from a rough case. But somehow, I understood what he meant by it. He thought that he failed me and that he disappointed me because of this whole ordeal. Not being able to see a fucking dinosaur in the cloud is just a metaphor for his inability to keep himself out of harm’s way and out of Scratch's way. But I never saw it like that, and I wish he knew that.

And in my horrible effort to silently communicate to him that he didn't need to apologize, I looked into his eyes. I love this man with all my heart, but he looked absolutely horrible. His hair was significantly longer than I remembered and looked like it hadn't been brushed in years, his facial hair, while I was right in predicting that it is undeniably sexy, was unkempt, and he had the darkest circles under his eyes that I'd ever seen. I'd seen him deprived of sleep before, but at that moment, I wondered if he ever actually closed his eyes for the duration of his stay in prison.

He reached out for me, and just when his fingers were about to brush the fabric of my coat, he retracted his hands. I wished he hadn't. I wished he grabbed me as tightly as he could the moment he walked over here and kissed me with every bit of strength he had left in his body. I trembled with desire, just needing to feel Spencer on me. But I didn't want to rush him. I knew he went through a lot in those walls and he was clearly a bit unhinged, and I didn't want to set him off.

"I--" he hesitated, it seemed, stumbling over his words. He gulped, choking back tears. I wanted to reach for him, to hold him, to kiss him, to hug him like I'd been craving to do for months on end. But I reminded myself to breathe through my tears and not accost him. "Lia, I need you."

That was all it took. We broke down after that. We broke down crying, and hugging, and kissing, the way we had both been longing to do so badly for months. It was an outpouring of love and emotions and tears and part of me thought that it still didn't even feel real. It was just a moment of relief and happiness before Spencer would be ushered back inside and stolen right from me again.

Even now, it doesn't seem real. Even now as JJ comes to put her hands on our shoulders and grins at us, telling us that the other three are going to head back to the BAU. Penelope and Luke give us hugs and head back to the SUV, leaving Spencer and me alone again.

It doesn't feel real as I pull my keys out of my pocket, turning to my boyfriend with a slightly tired smile. "I know I shouldn't try to convince you to go home and shower, or change, or just-- go home and rest."

Spencer gives me a tight-lipped smile, shaking his head no. "I know you want me home, but I gotta get my mom back."

"I know. I knew that answer already. Get in," I gesture to the passenger side of my car and climb in, starting the engine. I watch the SUV pull away in front of us and put my car into drive, double-checking that Spencer has buckled his seat belt before I pull away from the prison. I catch Spencer's eyes lingering on the building as we pull away, and I wish I could know what's going on in his head. "Hey," I whisper, and his head slowly turns to me, "it's over, dove. You don't have to go back ever again."

Spencer starts to nod but his gaze travels out the window again. The silence in the car thickens and it makes me nervous. It scares me, to be honest. I've heard stories about inmates being institutionalized, but I have no idea what that means. I know of the major events that happened to Spencer in prison but I don't know what he saw, or experienced, or what's going on in his head. I don't know if he's changed and I don't know if he's stayed exactly the same. But if I'm getting the answer based on this car ride, I would bet that he's changed exponentially. Spencer always filled our car rides with stories and facts and statistics. We've never had a silent car ride.

"Amelia?" He's, surprisingly, the one who breaks the silence. "Um--"

"Yeah?" I encourage him to keep talking, looking over at him when I stop at a red light.

Spencer looks down at his lap, fiddling with one of the cuff links on his jacket. "This seems sort of, um, silly, I guess, but, um, could you, um--"

"Lovey, just ask. You don't need to be afraid," I turn my head to him and smile. I try not to let my mind wander off and question how maybe smiles he's seen lately. I try not to let my mind wander off and question how many times he hasn't been afraid lately.

Spencer chews on his bottom lip as he stares back at me, still wondering if he should even ask what he wants to. And I'm not sure what it is that finally calms him enough to ask, but he nods after a moment. "Could you, um, if you could still drive, could you, just, hold my hand?"

It's such a simple request. It's a question that, in the past, would have never even needed to have been asked. Spencer would have just reached over and grabbed my hand at a red light without asking. Maybe he would have kissed me too, and he probably would have even had his hand on my thigh by now. But now he seems so hesitant to touch me, and I don't know if I want to know if it's my fault or his fault.

I retract my right hand from the steering wheel and hold it out to him. "Of course. You know you don't need to ask, Spence."

Spencer nods wordlessly, intertwining our fingers and dropping our hands into his lap. He holds them there, staring straight forward when I start to drive again. I soon feel his other hand covering my knuckles and it brings goosebumps to my skin.

"You got another tattoo," he observes, and then runs his pointer finger over the black ink, "and it's for me."

"I got it after your court hearing," I say softly because even though he brought up the tattoo, I don't necessarily want to bring up things like his arrest and when he was sentenced to go to jail. "Everyone came out to tell me what happened and I just dragged Penelope out and got it done right away. I wanted a reminder of you."

Spencer lifts our entwined hands, pressing his lips to the back of my hand. "I love it." His lips are soft and warm and I never want him to pull away, but then I remind myself that his kisses aren't going anywhere. He's out of prison and he's not leaving me again and he's coming home.

I glance down at our hands and a small smile comes to my face. But he doesn't say anything else and he just moves his gaze back out the window. So I keep driving and I don't say anything else until we arrive at the building where I've spent all of my time lately.

I'm starting to break again as I throw my car into park, leaning my one hand against the steering wheel as I choke back a new wave of tears. "Spencer," my voice cracks pathetically, and I can't even bring myself to look at him, "they're gonna find your mom, and everything's gonna be okay."

"You don't know that," Spencer scoffs and he drops my hand from his grasp. "She's been taken by serial killers who put me in prison just because they wanted to have some excitement in their lives. They could--" he shutters, digging the heel of his hand into his eye, "they could just kill her and-- and-- I'll never see her again."

When I look over at him, something just makes me realize how much he's changed, but I'm not sure what. Maybe it's how he's speaking to me and how he let go of my hand. Spencer never used to let go of my hand if he had the chance to hold it. He would always be making some sort of physical contact with me. I see how he's changed in the way his hair curls, and the way his suit lays on his broader shoulders, and the way his eyes dart across the new environment he's moved into. I suddenly don't even know how to talk to him. I suddenly don't even think I should be in the same car as him, sitting next to him, and then more tears are streaming down my cheeks as those horrible thoughts come to mind.

I tug the keys out of the ignition and reach for the door handle. "Ready to go in?" And without another word or a glance towards me, Spencer pulls open the passenger door and strides towards the entrance.

I always thought that when Spencer got out of prison, it would be an absolute relief. I thought once we cried and hugged and kissed, we would spend some time with the team, and then I'd be able to take him home. I'd be able to take him home and shower him in love and tell him how much I missed him and how much I love him and start dishing out all the affection he missed out the last few months.

I didn't think that he'd hug the team for two seconds upon his return to the BAU, and then they'd go running off in their kevlars. We had gone to his apartment to grab a few things but that was a quick stop and we came right back.

I didn't think that my first day back with Spencer would consist of me watching him pace insistently in the round table room. But here I am, sitting with my legs crossed in the of the rolling chairs while Spencer mumbles to himself and walks the length of the room, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It's making me crazy, honestly, and he's never paced before. I've always hated pacing. But I know he's anxious about his mom and there's nothing I can do to help.

"Spence?" He barely even acknowledges when I say his name. "Spencer," I say his name a bit sharper, and that's when he stops pacing and looks at me. His hair is disheveled and his eyes are swollen from how he keeps rubbing them.

I beckon him over with a slight wave of my hand, turning the chair beside me towards him. Spencer's chest deflates at my simple and silent request and that hurts, but nonetheless, he throws his body into the seat beside me. "What do you need?" He forces the question out, trying to sound somewhat polite despite his utter panic and stress.

I reach into my pocket and pull out his medallion, staring down at it for a moment before handing it over to him. "I've been carrying it around with me since you got arrested. Haven't taken a step without it in my pocket. Maybe it'll help to, I don't know, ground you? Maybe it won't help at all but I figured it wouldn't hurt you to have it right now."

Spencer reaches forward the grab the medallion from me, and when his fingers brush against mine, it sends a shock up my arm. Gosh, it's like we're touching for the first time all over again. He stares down at it, flipping it around in his fingers a few times before he lets out a long breath.

"Amelia," he practically whimpers, and the sound hurts more than his hostility. He makes a fist around the medallion around me and looks up at me, his eyes rimmed red. "Will you hold me?"

I quickly scramble out of my chair and onto Spencer's lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his chest. We sit like that forever, it seems, just waiting for any word from the team or for them to arrive back here. Spencer stays silent though and just holds my waist, his forehead resting against my shoulder. We stay so still and so silent that I fall asleep in Spencer's embrace. After all, I was woken up at the crack of dawn after a late night with wine and my friends.

I'm shaken awake, though, when Spencer quickly ushers me off his lap and back into the chair I was previously in. He's on his feet in a minute, spewing out a million questions to the team that is filing in with their kevlars still on.

"Where's my mom?" He asks hastily, glancing around the room. When nobody gives him an immediate answer, he slams his hands against the table with every bit of strength he has, and the force is enough to jolt me completely awake and alert. "Tell me! Where is my mom? Is she dead?" I stand, placing my hand on Spencer's arm, but he quickly and easily shakes it off. "Don't touch me!" He shouts, barely even looking at me before returning his attention to his team. "Where's my mom?!"

Everyone in the room is utterly shocked by his explosive behavior, especially me. I'm so shocked that I cower away from him, all the way until my back hits the wall and I'm across the room from him. But nobody pays any mind to me, they're all staring at Spencer.

"Spence, she wasn't there," Emily speaks first, quietly and gently. "We have reason to believe that she's okay, but, um, we got more insight from the house that we need to tell you about. And Amelia, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

I don't need to be asked twice. I flee from the conference room. I tangle my fingers in my curls and hurry down the ramp, falling into the chair at Spencer's desk, pulling my knees up to my chest again. I pull in deep breaths through my nose and close my eyes, trying to forget the image of Spencer yelling at me and rejecting my comfort.

He's never, ever yelled at me like that. We've been together for two and a half years now and in the two years that we were physically together, we never fought. And in the times that we argued, it was over little things. We argued over missed dates and forgotten chores and broken household items. But Spencer never once raised his voice at me like that and he never pushed me away from him.

I don't know how to deal with him. I've only been in his presence for two hours, at most, and I've already had countless moments of confusion and bafflement. He's different. I should have expected that. But he's so different and I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to calm him down and what I'm supposed to say to him to remind him that he's safe. Am I supposed to say anything at all?

I only lift my head when I start to hear shouting. My eyes dart back towards the conference room where it seems like the team is arguing all amongst each other, shedding their kevlars and throwing them aside. Their anger seems to be mostly towards Emily, but then it momentarily turns to Spencer when he starts speaking, and then it's back to Emily. Rossi is pacing, Penelope is on the verge of tears, and the rest of the team just looks outraged. But oddly enough, Spencer looks calm. He's looked calm this whole time.

And then he lets his gaze linger out to me. He lets himself look out of the conference room to my curled up body, watching helplessly from the outside as the team argues over a matter I can't be involved in. His face softens and even from here, I can see that he sighs. I try to muster up some sort of smile, one that's surely weak and not comforting in the slightest. But at least I offer him something other than crime and arguing.

Spencer turns away from his team and leaves the conference room, taking his time in wandering over to me. I watch his every step, wondering what is going on and why everyone is so up in arms. Maybe I don't even want to know. I'm sure it will just make me mad anyways, especially if it's making Penelope so upset.

Spencer gets to his desk and leans against the edge beside me, breathing out a sigh that's tense and rigid. "I, um--" he clears his throat, putting his hands in his lap and looking down at them, "I'm sorry I yelled at you like that."

I nod at him, reaching forward to wiggle my fingers into his intertwined hands, and he resists at first but lets me hold his hand after a moment. "It's okay, dove. What's going on?"

"Do you remember," he keeps his gaze away from me, "when we first went cloud watching?"

I furrow my eyebrows at him, cocking my head to the side. "Uh, of course I do. We went on a picnic after you had a hard case."

"Do you remember the case?" He asks next like he’s trying to draw out his questions to avoid what he really needs to tell me, and his grip on my hand gets tighter.

"Vaguely," I murmur. "You had to go on a date with a hitwoman and pose as a married man who wanted to kill his pregnant wife. What does that have to do with this? I thought she was in prison, Spence."

"She is," Spencer starts to nod continuously and breaks one of his hands away to rub up and down my arm, a stiff attempt at comfort. "She orchestrated this from prison. Scratch was never involved apparently. She had an accomplice in the free world who did all her dirty work for her, but she ultimately called all the shots. It was her, Amelia," he sighs, and when his hand stops moving, I hear him sniffle. "When the team went to that house just before, they found a message from Cat, she's the hitwoman. She said that if I want my mom back, then I have to go and talk to her."

My eyes widen at his words, and I'm utterly stunned. "What?"

"Me and JJ are leaving in ten minutes. I just came to say goodbye to you, and to tell you I'll be back in a few hours," Spencer never meets my eye. He hasn't this whole time and I don't know if I prefer it that way.

"No!" I exclaim, ripping my hand away from his. The action stuns him and he reaches for me as I pull away, but I'm already standing. "You have to go back to prison? Absolutely not! You just spent three months locked up and going through hell! Send someone else! There's a whole team in that room that's just as smart as you and they can deal with her. I'm not letting you go waltzing right back into prison!"

I turn on my heel and go bounding towards the conference room, but I feel Spencer hot on my heels. He grabs my arm before I can get too far, holding me back. "I know you're upset about this and it's not ideal, but I have to do this to get my mom back."

I turn to him, my eyes filled with tears that I refuse to let fall. "Send someone else." I hiss through my clenched teeth.

"We can't," Spencer responds, and when I try to get out of his grasp, he holds me tighter. "It has to be me. She wants to play her stupid game. I've outsmarted her before and I can do it again--"

"I know you can outsmart her!" I exclaim, pushing his chest, sending him stumbling back a few steps. Our yelling brings the team out of the conference room to check on us but they don't intervene. They just watch us standing on the ramp. They watch me break down for the millionth time.

Spencer groans, running his hands through his unruly hair. "Lia, I--"

"I know you can outsmart her, Spencer!" I shout, hot tears streaming down my cheeks and down my neck, wetting the collar of my tank top. "That's not what I'm worried about! I know that you're smart enough to outsmart every goddamn serial killer that gets on your radar. I've known that since the moment I met you. But I don't--" I choke my words, bringing my hands up to cover my mouth.

I've admitted my feelings to Jenna and to Penelope and somewhat to Dave, but I haven't gotten the chance to speak to Spencer. I haven't been able to tell him how I spent every single moment of his incarceration in fear for his life. Now, I know he had it worse because he was actually experiencing it, but I was in the dark. I couldn't see him and I couldn't talk to him. I was only getting secondhand information from a team of profilers who could have lied to me with ease.

"I can't-" I drop my hands and breathe in a long breath, but it doesn't do anything to slow my rapidly beating heart. "I've spent three fucking months walking around and not being able to see you. I spent three months crying and screaming and cursing the universe for putting you through such intense pain that you don't deserve, because you deserve the motherfucking world, Spencer! And now you just wanna go right back to prison and face some psycho who landed you in a place that had you beat and broken and taken away from me. So I'm sorry that I don't want you to go," I pause again, just staring at Spencer's face. He's giving me a blank face that I can't entirely read. He's never looked at me like this. "I'm sorry that I don't want you to go back to a place that has clearly traumatized you and I'm sorry that I just want to have you here, in my arms so I can hold you and promise you that everything is going to be okay. I'm sorry, okay?"

I push past Spencer and go running off, furiously wiping at my cheeks, but it's a useless attempt. The tears won't stop and I know that. My monologue was also another useless attempt and I know that too. Spencer is going to do absolutely anything in his power to get his mother back. And if that means going to see a serial killer in prison who's clearly obsessed with him, then he'll do it. He's always been that selfless and I used to admire that. But right now I just wish he would listen to me for once.

I throw myself into one of the interview rooms and curl up on the couch, sobbing into my hands. I've just gotten my Spencer back and now he's leaving me to go back to prison. He's getting taken away from me yet again and, after three months of psychological torture, he needs to outsmart a serial killer to save his mother. Can he handle that? He could barely handle asking me to hold his hand in the car. Can he handle a criminally sophisticated serial killer?

The door opens slowly and quietly and then I hear the sounds of Spencer's shoes again. They're dense and heavier than I remember them to be a few months ago. I'm covering my eyes with my hands but I hear him sit down beside the couch I'm on and then his hand reaches out to push my hair behind my ears. My curls bounce back into my face and it makes Spencer chuckle, and that simple sound makes my heart flutter. I want to hear his full-fledged, loud, obnoxious, unhinged, head-tossed-back laugh. I'd do anything to hear that.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, pushing my hair back again and holding his hand on the back of my head. "I know you're unhappy, and I know you're upset and worried and panicked and that you missed me. And I--" he scoots closer to the couch, resting his chin against the cushion, his face right in front of my covered one, "I don't want any of this to be happening either. I wanna go home and finally sleep, and eat something good, and just hold you and-- and cry out my emotions. But I can't do that. I need to do everything I can to save my mom right now. JJ is going to the prison with me and she's gonna make sure everything goes smoothly."

I drag my hands down my face, revealing my tear-stained face to him. Spencer gives me a sad smile, using his free hand to wipe my tears. "Baby?" I whisper.

He hums softly in response, and for a moment, the old him starts to shine through. His tender touch and his soft smile remind me of the person he was. It reminds me of the times we would lay on the couch at night, tangled in a blanket as we eat take-out. Or the times we sit on a freezing cold balcony and shares stories of our days. Or the times we would meet every morning at the same cafe and I could send him off to work with a kiss and a pinky promise to return home safely. This moment gives me just a little bit of hope that the old him is still in him, and that it's just buried deep down.

"Are you gonna be allowed to have your phone?" I murmur, and Spencer nods a tiny bit in response. "Will you just-- can you call me if you need me? I'll keep my phone on me with the ringer on. I know you'll be busy but if you need me, just call me. Even if you just wanna hear my voice, don't hesitate."

Spencer smiles, and I swear, it's the most beautiful sight I've seen in my life. "Of course. I'll always need you, sweetheart."

I grab the hand that's on my face and bring his knuckles to my lips. "I love you so, so much, okay? You got this, dove."

Spencer moves our hands and presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. "I love you too. I'm gonna be back as soon as I possibly can be. But, uh, before I leave, can you just do one more thing for me?"

I sit up and look down at him on his knees, running my fingers over his jawline. "Anything."

Spencer reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a thin, black sharpie. "It's a weird request, I know. But, that tattoo on your hand, could you draw it on me?"

I raise my eyebrows, glancing down at my hand, a small smile playing on my lips. "Seriously?" He nods, thrusting the sharpie in my hand. "Sure, of course. I wouldn't imagine you want it on your hand, where I have it. On your arm? Just on your forearm?" I gesture to my Starry Night tattoo right under the crook of my elbow, for a reference of placement. Spencer starts to push up his jacket and sleeve, leaving me room to draw an identical symbol to the one on my hand. "Spence, you won't even be able to see it."

"I know," he mumbles, watching me draw the little N, "but you can't see the butterfly on the back of your arm. But you know it's there and it makes you think of your mom. I know this is here and it'll make me think of you."

I cap the sharpie and toss it aside, smiling at him. "Be safe, Spencer," I grab his cheeks again, stroking his skin with my thumbs. "You're smarter than her, you know you are. I meant what I said before. You can outsmart every single serial killer out there and you've already outsmarted this one. You can do it again."

He searches my face for something, but I can't quite tell for what. He reaches for my waist, squeezing tightly. Spencer takes in a long breath and closes his eyes. "Please tell me you love me," he whimpers.

"Oh, my darling," I lean forward and rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes too, sinking onto his lap so our bodies can be as close as possible, "Spencer Reid, I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you more than I love myself. My heart beats for you, Spencer. Please, don't ever forget that. I love you and I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. It'll be the first thing I tell you in the morning and the last thing I tell you at night. I just-- I love you."

Spencer doesn't even respond to my second, yet equally dramatic, monologue of the day, but he just presses his lips to mine. The kiss is the fervent and needy we've shared, but that's what we need right now. This is how I would have kissed Spencer if I had the chance to kiss him goodbye before he went away to prison, and even though I know he's going to come back to me, I have so much time to make up for and I need to start now.

"Say it back," I murmur against his lips, turning my head and kissing him again. "Say it back and promise me that you're gonna come back to me in one piece,"

Spencer wraps his arms as tight as he can around my waist and draws me even closer to his body. "I'm gonna come home to you, just like I am right now, I promise," he presses one more long kiss to my lips before pulling away breathlessly. "I love you."

///

"Amelia," Penelope comes bursting into the interview room I never left, a smile on her face, "Spencer and JJ are on their way up."

I jump to my feet, following her out, walking beside her to the elevator. "Is Diana okay?" I ask quickly, pausing beside her when we reach the doors.

"Yeah, Diana is, you know, physically okay. The team got there and we did our magic and Lindsay betrayed Cat and gave up Diana and the team is on their way back with her now," Penelope throws her arms around me, weeping with joy. "Amelia, it's all over. Diana is safe, Spencer is home, everyone is good. It's over."

I sigh into her shoulder, smiling. "Yeah, it's over."

"Whoa, I wanna join in this hug!" We hear JJ's voice from the elevator, and in just a second, she's joined our hug and thrown her arms around the two of us. We laugh, hugging her waist and accepting her into our circle. "Oh, I love you girls. And I can't wait for when things settle down and we can get Tara and Emily and Lisa and Monica and all go out for a girls night. But for now, Amelia, go get him."

I lift my head and I immediately lay eyes on Spencer. He's sitting on the floor beside the glass doors of the bullpen, knees pulled up to his chest and his sobriety medallion in his hand. I give a smile to the girls and unravel from them, heading over to my solemn boyfriend.

I sit on the floor between his bent legs and cross my own legs, grabbing his free hand and intertwining our fingers. He barely even responds to my touch and he just keeps his eyes on the floor. I reach forward and tuck my fingers under his chin, lifting his gaze until it reaches mine. His eyes look dull and he's truly never looked more exhausted. I thought he looked utterly exhausted when he got out of prison this morning, but now it's the middle of the night and he's been working and stressed all day, and the exhaustion is settling in.

His eyes meet mine and I try to give him a smile. "I'm proud of you," I tell him. "I knew you could do it. You saved your mom."

Spencer just stares at me for a moment before he looks down again, and when he shifts his body a bit, my hand falls from his chin. "It was really hard," he whispers. "She was working with one of the correctional officers at my prison, and he managed to get my FBI file with confidential information in it."

"I'm sorry," I whisper back, placing my hands on his knees. "I'm sure that--"

"And she brought you up," he blurts out. "You're in my file because we've been together for an extended time so you’re required to be in there for protection purposes and she brought up your name and I just-- I like, I freaked out. She spoke so horribly about you. She said terrible things about you to throw me off but she doesn't even know you! How could she say those things?" He rambles on, getting more and more worked up.

"Sweetheart," I keep my voice quiet and calm, "you just said it yourself. She was saying it to throw you off. She doesn't know me. She knows absolutely nothing about me. You surely don't think I'm horrible and terrible and that's all that matters. So ignore what she thinks, okay? She's a psychopath."

Spencer looks up at me with red eyes. "She's pregnant." He states a bit too abruptly. "She told me the baby was mine to try to get me to break.”

My eyes widen. "Excuse me?"

"And she tried to tell me that when Lindsay dosed me in Mexico, that Lindsay, you know--" Spencer gulps, "got my DNA. And Cat tried to tell me that she had Lindsay pose as you to get me in the mood."

"But that's not true. That didn't happen," I shake my head, moving closer to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Spencer buries his face in my neck, hugging my waist.

"But I have no way of knowing that. I'm still missing time. She still might have tried to do that. Lindsay might have posed as you," Spencer whimpers and that's a sound that will always break my heart.

"Spencer, listen to me," I pull away again and hold his face in my hands with a delicate grasp. "Cat's ass is still in prison. Lindsay's ass is on her way to life in prison. You're out of prison and you're going to be able to live the rest of your life as a free man. And you saved your moms life and you're about to see her. Those women are out of your life forever, okay? I know it's really hard, but you should try to not even think about them," a small smirk comes to my face. "The only woman you should be thinking about is me."

Spencer chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "You're incredible."

I hold my hands out in a shrug, grinning. "Which is why I should be the only woman you have on your mind. And also the only woman you're having babies with. Spence, we'd have the cutest babies."

He laughs again and lets his head fall back against the wall, staring me up and down. "We would have some cute kids, wouldn't we?"

"The absolute cutest! Genius babies who can read eighty thousand books a day while painting a landscape with their right hand and drawing a bowl of fruit with their left hand. And they--"

"They're here!" Penelope exclaims, running out of the bullpen and waving her phone in the air. "Emily just said they parked and they're coming for the elevator!"

Spencer jumps up to his feet without a second thought or hesitation, and with a second thought, he holds out his hand to help me off the floor. And I keep my hold on that hand, squeezing tightly. JJ and Penelope move to either side of us, and when the elevator doors pop open, I feel Spencer's body tense up.

It's obvious that as Diana steps out of the elevator, she doesn't recognize Spencer. She doesn't recognize any of us, even though JJ has visited her many times and I've visited Diana countless times over the years I've been dating Spencer. And so I squeeze his hand tighter but I know that this is not how he wanted this to go. He wanted to just hug his mom and get the physical affection that he didn't really get as a kid. But she isn't lunging at him and now he's starting to tremble in my embrace.

Emily leans over to Diana and whispers, "It's Spencer," and that's all it takes. Diana looks once more at her son before gasping and the moment she does, Spencer releases my hand and throws his arms around her.

It's the most relieved I've seen him since before this entire ordeal, and I can confidently say it's also the most relieved I've been. I see Spencer smile over Diana's shoulder, his eyelids squeezed shut. "Hi, Mom."

The team starts to disperse to give them their space and to relax after the ridiculously long day. I give everyone tight hugs, thanking them for all their hard work and giving half-assed apologies for how horrible I was acting towards them. I know that no apology will excuse how I acted while Spencer was incarcerated, but I have to try, right?

"Amelia," after a while, Diana comes to give me a hug, letting Spencer breathe for just a split second. "It's good to see you, honey."

"It's good to see you too," I hug her waist. "How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?"

Diana glances between the two of us, shaking her head slowly. "I'm just-- I'm tired,"

"Okay, Mom, well, why don't I get you back to my apartment so you can rest?" Spencer suggests, reaching to wrap his arm around her waist to support her weight.

Diana gives me a side-eye and I return her look. "Actually," she says, putting her hand on his shoulder, halting him from walking her towards the elevator, "Amelia and I had something we wanted to talk to you about."

Spencer narrows his eyes at me and when I wave the two along to one of the interview rooms, he doesn't put up a fight. Maybe he's too tired by now, or maybe he's genuinely interested in what we could possibly have to say. But either way, he ushers his mom onto a couch and then stands a few feet away as I fall into an armchair. He glances between the two of us, then crosses his arms protectively over his chest. "What's this about?"

Diana immediately looks to me to explain, clutching the cardigan around her shoulders. "Okay," I breathe out, turning my head to my confused and concerned boyfriend, "it's no secret that a lot of people, me included, were not fond of Diana living at home with you. So while you were away, I spent some time looking at facilities around here that would take Diana in, and there's one that's ten minutes away from here. I called them when you were working and they said that they would be happy to let Diana move in tonight."

"Spencer," Diana reaches for Spencer's hands and he happily gives them to her, "this is going to be good. I've always wanted to be close to you. This way, you can visit me more often and you don't have to spend money on flights and hotels. Maybe I can get out to see one of Amelia's art exhibits. I don't want any more experimental medicine, honey. I wanna be close to you and to be comfortable and to be happy."

Spencer pouts and he starts to tap his foot on the floor. He's nervous, and rightfully so. He's about to give his mom up again, right after she was abducted by a serial killer team. He looks from his mom to me, then back to his mom, and then to me again. "Did you go to the facility?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Me, Diana, and Cassie went a while ago and we all liked it," I tell him. "She'll be a ten minute drive and a six minute train ride away instead of a five hour plane ride. You can see her every single day if you wanted to."

"And," Diana grins, glancing between us, "when you two get married and have babies, I'll be right here to help you with it."

Spencer lets out a shaky breath, nodding his head hesitantly. "Okay. Let's go."

///

Spencer and I wave goodbye at Diana and then go heading off to my car, hopping in and I start the ignition. I let out a loud yawn, covering my mouth as I buckle my seatbelt. I feel Spencer's hand in my hair and it makes me smile, and as the ridiculously long day comes to a close, I find myself more and more excited to crawl into bed. And then upon further thought, I get even more excited to crawl into bed with Spencer at my side.

"Do you want me to drive?" Spencer asks, dragging his hand to my jawline. "You look exhausted."

"Oh, you should see yourself, bub," I quip, turning on my headlights. "I'll be fine. It's just a ten minute drive back home."

"Hey, wait," Spencer says, reaching for my hand on the wheel. I turn my head to him, smiling tiredly. "Um," he returns my tired smile, "I just wanted to say thank you for doing this. For, you know, finding a facility for my mom. It means a lot to me to know that you care so much about her."

"She's your mom, Spencer. Of course I care about her. I just wanted to help out and make everyone's lives easier," I shrug gently.

"And also," Spencer drops his voice to a whisper and looks down at his voice, "I wanted to thank you for not abandoning me. I don't-- well, I don't have a lot of people in my life and people have a habit of leaving me after they've been around me for a while. But you've stuck with me through the craziness with my mom and through my arrest and through prison when I'm sure there's plenty of guys who are banging down your door and you could--"

"Oh god," I grimace at the thought. "Dr. Reid, I don't wanna be with anyone else but you. I thought I made that clear before. Remember? Sitting in the hallway? We're getting married and having babies, remember? You're my first and only boyfriend and I don't want any other asshole guy who's gonna swoop in and think they're a Know It All. Why would I want a fake Know It All when I have the read deal Know It All right here?"

Spencer chuckles and he turns his hand to intertwine our fingers. "Thank you for waiting for me. And thank you for even coming to the prison. JJ said you were a bit too scared to come in so I appreciate you coming at all."

I choose not to comment about that. It's not the time to talk about this. It's not the time and not the place. We're exhausted and Spencer is fragile and while he needs to eventually talk to someone about his time in prison, it probably shouldn't be me and it probably shouldn't be at 3 am in a parking lot.

"I'll always be waiting for you," I smile in an attempt to move on from that topic of conversation, and when my phone buzzes in my pocket, I quickly pull it out to find Penelope calling me. I just miss the call and see that she already called me three times. "Oh, that's weird."

"Call her back," Spencer says, leaning over my shoulder. "And put it on speaker."

I dial Penelope's number and put my phone on speaker. She picks up after only half a dial tone. "Thank god!" She exclaims. "I feel like I've been calling you for my entire life!"

"My phone was in my pocket, sorry. What's up? Is everything okay?"

"No!" She shouts, and just her sharp tone of voice makes me panicky. "Are you with Reid?"

"I'm right here. On speaker. Garcia, what's going on? Is the team okay? Is it Lindsay or Cat?"

Penelope goes on the explain how Morgan got a text from Penelope about a safe house Spencer was supposed to stay at. It was all completely fake and due to Penelope's super skills, she figured out that her phone number was duplicated by none other than Mr. Scratch himself.

"The team drove out there but it was a trap!"

"Scratch's traps have traps, Garcia, we know that. They should've been prepared. Are they okay?" Spencer's voice gets louder as he gets more nervous.

"Not really. The house wasn't rigged. The street on the way was. There were road spikes and he was watching for when they came. And after they hit the spikes, a truck came and hit them. They all have to go to the hospital. Luke is okay and he's driving me to the hospital right now, and Matt Simmons is here too. But Tara's in shock, Rossi hurt his leg, JJ has glass in her forehead, Emily dislocated her shoulder, and Stephen is-- he's--"

Spencer and I exchange a downcast look as we understand what she can't say. Stephen is dead and it's all Scratch's fault. This man has been terrorizing this team for years and now he's killed a member of their team.

"Okay, Penelope," Spencer murmurs, "we're on our way to the hospital now. Keep us updated." Despite the fact that my phone is in my hand, Spencer hangs it up. He takes it from me and places it into the cup holder, then replaces my phone with his hand. "Amelia," he whispers, "do you want me to drive?"

Silently, I nod. I climb out of the driver’s side and practically waddle to the passenger side, sinking into the seat that Spencer was just in. He starts the engine and drives off, calmer and gentler than I had imagined he would be.

"I'm sorry," Spencer eventually breaks the thick silence, glancing over at me. "I know you liked Stephen and I'm sure you guys got really close the last few months."

My head slowly swivels to him, and I find that, as he should be, he's not looking at me. His eyes are locked on the road and focusing extra hard since it's the middle of the night. But I'd rather have it that way right now. "I'm--" I hesitate before I speak, but I know that now I've opened my mouth, I've sealed my fate, "I'm a horrible person."

I see Spencer furrow his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"I'm a bad person, Spencer, because I'm only kinda upset that Stephen is dead. I'm upset because--" I hiccup, my eyes widening as I try to speak. "Every time I see a dead cop or a dead agent, all I think about is how that could've been you. That dead agent could've been my boyfriend, dead in the field and I'd have to be the one called in to identify his body. I can't imagine how Monica and her kids are going to feel but I just always think about how I'd feel if I was woken up by that call that you were killed in the field.”

"You won't," Spencer answers with a stubborn shake of his head. "I'm careful in the field. I don't want you to worry about me, Lia. I’m gonna be fine.”

///

I can't remember spending much time in emergency rooms. But in the time that I have, they were never this chaotic. There are people everywhere and I'm surprised it's this busy on a Wednesday-into-Thursday at 4 am. But Spencer grabs my hand and takes charge, marching right up to a doctor and demanding he knows where the Behavioral Analysis Unit agents are. And I have to admit, despite how distressed I am, he looks incredibly sexy taking charge like that. But the doctor answered him and pointed to a certain section for the BAU.

"Amelia," JJ sighs of relief as she sees me, reaching a hand out and I quickly grab it, giving her the support she's looking for, "thank you for coming. I'm sure you're so tired--"

"Shh, shh, stop, don't worry about me," I coo, taking on her usual role of the mother figure. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Um," a few tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away, "I haven't called Will yet and--"

"I did that in the car on the way over here, don't worry. He's on his way over," I tell her, fixing the wrapping on her ice pack so it isn't falling off anymore. JJ nods, relieved, and relaxes more into my touch. "Me and Spencer are both here so if you need anything, you just ask either of us, okay? Don't hesitate."

JJ nods, wrapping her free arm around my waist to give me an awkward side hug. "Thank you so much. Go check on everyone else. Emily is right over there and Rossi is refusing treatment, I think."

"Okay, I'll check on you later," I give her one more smile before heading off towards Emily's gurney. She's laying down and her shoulder is covered by a pile of dressings and her face is full of little cuts and bruises. Her eyes widen when she sees me and she reaches her uninjured arm for me. "Hi, Em. Do you need anything? Are you okay?"

"Amelia," Emily chokes out, and just from the way she speaks, I can see that she's in an intense amount of pain. "You should--" she hisses in pain, "should take Reid and go home. He deserves to go home and so do you. You're both exhausted and just got out of prison and you're--"

"We're here to help, Emily. We're not going anywhere until we know you guys are okay," I adjust the ice pack that's on her head and her eyelids flutter, and as badly as I do wish I could take Spencer home, I know that we need to be here to help everyone.

"Go help Rossi. He's being a little bitch about this," Emily responds, making me laugh. "I've got more balls than him. I'm fine. Go."

I laugh at Emily, shaking my head at her stubbornness, but nod nonetheless. I turn on my heel and start to head towards Rossi's little room but before I can get there, I run right into Spencer and Luke.

"Is Dave okay?" I ask, glancing between the two men who tower over me. "JJ and Emily are beat up but they're pushing through."

"Rossi needs us to go back to the BAU to get something for him," Luke says, holding up his car keys. "Me and Reid are heading back now."

My head snaps over to Spencer, eyes widened. Of course, I should have expected this. Why did I think that we would just show up here to help Spencer's teammates and not expect him to get roped into some kind of work? It was a stupid expectation, to be honest. Almost the entire team is down and Scratch is clearly very close to them. They need all hands on deck.

I just nod slowly, letting out a sigh. "Okay. Just be careful, please. Be really, really careful."

"We will be," Spencer nods back at me. He turns to leave, but before he can leave, I grab his wrist. "Amelia," he swivels his head, "we need to go."

"Just," I hold out my pinky, "humor me."

Spencer smiles softly, wrapping his pinky around mine. "We're just going back to the BAU. We're gonna be fine."

"Please let me know when you get there. And if you leave the building," I squeeze his pinky in mine before releasing him completely, waving him away with Luke. And so, I'm left with four injured FBI agents after an attack from an escaped serial killer, and a boyfriend who clearly has PTSD and hasn't slept or eaten in almost two days. I sigh, turning to look in Dave's room, then at JJ and Emily. "Great. Just great."

///

"Will just got here?" Emily asks, adjusting the strap of her sling, her arm now popped into its socket.

"Yeah, he's with JJ now. I think they said they were gonna--" I'm cut off when my phone starts ringing in my pocket. How is this thing not dead yet? I see that Penelope is calling and I swear, for a moment, I don't even want to pick up. She never has anything good to say. "Hi, P. How's it going?"

"H--Hi," she stumbles over her words, sounding a bit distant. "So, um, I'm at the BAU with Matt Simmons and Spencer is here too and Luke went to get Monica, but, um, I think you should come here."

Emily can hear my phone and she gives me a confused look, which I immediately return to her. "Why? Is Spencer okay?"

"He's just--" Penelope pauses. "We all got to work when we got back and he took on a lot of work and then he kicked me and Matt out of the conference room so he could be alone because he said he couldn't focus and he's just getting really frustrated and he looks so angry and-- Amelia, I feel like you're the only one who can bring him down to Earth."

Emily nods in agreement, gesturing towards the door as if to tell me to go. I feel bad leaving the team in the hospital without anyone to help them, someone who's not a nurse, but Spencer is my main priority right now. So I tell Penelope that I'll be there as soon as possible and go rushing out of the hospital and out to my car for the millionth time today.

///

The elevator doors open and the first thing I notice is how quiet the sixth floor seems. I'm so used to it bustling with people who have agendas and schedules and meetings. But now it's the middle of the night and everyone is home resting, where I wish I could be with my boyfriend.

I pull open the glass doors and find Penelope working on a desk with a man beside her, someone I've never seen before. She looks up when I enter, sighing a breath of relief. "Thank god you're here," she gestures towards the conference room where Spencer is furiously pacing and is clearly talking to himself, waving his hands back and forth. "He's only gotten more worked up since I called you."

"You're Amelia?" the man steps forward, holding his hand out. "I'm Matt Simmons."

"Yeah, Amelia," I nod, shaking his hand politely with a tight smile. "I'm Spencer's girlfriend. I believe I've heard him mention in the past before actually. You have four kids, right? Bless your--"

I'm completely cut off by a loud banging, and the three of us look up in time to see Spencer hurling a book at the glass panel in the conference room. There isn't even a moment of hesitation before we're rushing towards him, pushing open the door and approaching him.

"B-CAP," Spencer states, his hands digging into his eyes. He starts rattling off something about what this plant is, where it's from, and how to find it. Matt responds and Spencer nods, and there's no chance I'll understand what they're talking about, but that's not my main focus. Spencer drops his hands from his eyes and then glances between the three of us. "Why are you staring at me?"

"You," Penelope whispers, "you throw a book at a window. It was jarring."

"Yeah, well," Spencer scoffs, turning his back to us, "it took me thirty minutes to deduce what should have taken me thirty seconds. And if Scratch gets away and more people die because of it, then I'll be throwing a lot more than books," He leans his hands against the conference table and hangs his head, taking labored breaths.

I quickly usher Penelope and Matt out of the room, closing the door behind them. Penelope gives me a concerned look over her shoulder but I just give her a smile in return. Nothing can provide comfort right now, but I'm really trying.

Spencer hasn't moved when I turn back to him so I creep forward and reach for his waist. The moment my fingers make contact with his body, he completely jumps out of his skin and cowers away from me, as if he hadn't even realized it was me touching him.

I retract my hands as he backs away from me, holding them up in the air so he can see there's no foul play going on. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I apologize quickly. "I just-- I just wanted to help. I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd--"

"I can't let him get away!" Spencer is shouting again, waving his hands around frantically. "He's been getting away for too long! He's so close and I can let him--"

"Dove, I know it's hard," I step closer to him and when he doesn't cower away again, I move closer again. "I know you wanna catch Scratch and you absolutely will. But you need to rest. You haven't slept in who knows how long, you haven't eaten, you haven't showered, you haven't changed your clothes. You--" I let out a breath and just gently hold my hands out to him in the hopes that he'll grab them, and when he doesn't, I keep them there as a silent, continuous invitation, "you're a little burnt out, Spence. I know you wanna work and that you wanna help your team, and I admire you for that, but--"

"Rossi reinstated me," he tells me stubbornly, a switch flipping him back to seriousness and away from fear as he walks back over to the whiteboard. "In the hospital, he said I'm fully reinstated for right now and that I need to help out. I'm doing what he asked."

"Spencer," I snap, crossing my arms over my chest, "Rossi was fucking delirious. JJ told me that he told you to get tickets for a baseball game."

"It was code," Spencer retorts, picking up the book from the floor like it wasn’t the object he took his aggression out on and starting to read. "I'm not stopping."

"Fine," I give up, marching over to him, taking the book out of his hands and putting it aside, "keep working then, but I'm not leaving."

Spencer's face solidifies and he gets serious again. "You should leave. You haven't slept or eaten either and--"

"I'm not leaving until you leave. So I'm gonna get on this fucking table and go to sleep and you can join me if you'd like. But I'm not leaving you, Spencer, I told you that. I'm not abandoning you," and with that, I strip off my coat and climb on top of the conference room table, balling up the coat like a pillow and laying down. And with the crazy events of the day, I fall asleep right away, despite being on a table and despite having my unhinged boyfriend in the same room.

When I eventually wake up again, I'm in a different room. I'm not laying on a hard table but instead, I'm in an interview room on a couch. It takes me a moment to get used to my surroundings, but when I do I realize that I'm covered by Spencer's suit jacket and that my hand is clutching his sobriety medallion.

His absence quickly dawns on me and I gasp, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I search for my phone to check the time and realize it's not on me so I stumble out of the interview room and towards Penelope's office. But before I can even get there, I find her wandering towards the elevators with her heels in her hand and her phones in her other.

"Amelia! You're awake!" She exclaims, grinning. "Come! The team is just coming up."

"What did I miss? What happened? Where's Spencer?" I ramble on tiredly as she drags me away.

"We got a hit on where Scratch was. Spencer, Luke, Matt, Emily, and JJ all went to the warehouse that he was at. They're coming back," she says as we pause in front of the elevators.

"Did they get Scratch?" It wasn't a necessary question. Penelope would have led with that information if it were true. I knew they wouldn't have captured Scratch. It's too easy. She doesn't answer.

The elevator doors open and the team files out in their kevlars with their guns on their hips, and Spencer comes out last. He gives me a tiny smile, his hands tucked in his pockets. He doesn't even make an effort to hug me when he approaches me, just stands close enough that I can feel his breath on me.

"Don't you ever," I sneer, pointing my finger at him, "leave to chase a serial killer without telling me. Don't you ever do that again."

Spencer nods shamefully, chewing his bottom lip. "You were so tired that I thought I could get there and back without you waking up. I almost did."

I breathe in a long breath, shaking my head. "You were close. I woke up two minutes ago," Spencer nods in response, staring down at the floor. Everyone is walking away now, discarding their vests and guns and reaching for their car keys. "Can--" I gulp, "can I hug you?"

Spencer nods and pulls his hands out of his pockets, sliding them around my back and pulling my body flush against his. I hug his waist tight, and despite the harsh lines of the kevlar, I melt into his embrace and close my eyes. Spencer rests his head on the top of mine, starting to hiccup as tears stream down his cheeks. "Amelia?"

"Yes, my dove?" I quip in response.

"Can you bring me home now?"

I let out a breath. A breath that releases all the bad energy and all the horrible events of the past few months. Because even though Scratch has escaped, the BAU will catch him, there's no doubt of that. But my Spencer is coming home finally, and he's here to stay.

"It would be my absolute pleasure."

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd @wonderlandhatter @whxt-to-write @inkandexchange @just-call-me-non

#nikos north fic #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x oc

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cherryblossomflowers · 4 years

Text

An Old Life Meets A New (Pt28)

Pairing: Jensen x Daughter, Danneel x Stepdaughter, Jared x Niece

Warnings: Slight Cussing, Angst, Fluff, Death Mentioned, Car Accident Mentioned, Anxiety/Depression, Arguing, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Fighting, Sex Mentioned, Child Abuse, Drunk Abuse, Relationship Abuse, Alcohol

Summary: After the recent death of her mother, Harper must adjust to her new life in the Ackles home, this includes a new stepmother, half-siblings, and reconnecting with her father.

A/N: This chapter is very emotionally heavy. Grab the tissues, you’ll want them. ONLY 2 CHAPTERS LEFT!!! No hate on Danneel or Jensen please. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

***ASK OPEN***

*LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE TAGGED*

*NEW CHAPTER EVERYDAY AT 3PM CST*

An Old Life Meets A New Masterlist

Chapter 28

Harper gazed mindlessly out the window as the cab drove towards the cemetery. Jensen would glance at her from time to time, but this is one instance he knew not to try and talk to her about.

Harper let out a deep sigh and asked Jensen, "Do you think Mom would've been happy to know you and I were talking again?"

Jensen smiled and looked out his window, "I like to think so, yes."

"Do you think she'd be mad that I flew here?"

Jensen chuckled, "Knowing her temper, she'd be furious. But if she knew your intentions, I think she'd calm down a bit. You'd be in a lot of trouble though."

Harper rolled her eyes, "Oh please. You act like I was a troublemaker growing up."

Jensen turned to her and gave her a look of Really? and Harper gave him a look of Try me.

The drive seemed to go on and on, but Jensen and Harper were talking and having a good time. They didn't even notice that the cab had stopped until the driver told them they had arrived.

Harper got out while Jensen paid for the cab, then he got out and walked over to Harper, who was having a hard time walking forward.

"Okay, now where is she?" Jensen asked.

Harper pointed to a corner of the cemetery, and they started walking. Jensen had a little more stride in his step while Harper seemed to be dragging her feet.

Jensen stopped and turned to her, "I can piggyback you, like old times."

Harper shook her head, "Sorry, it's just weird being here," she picked up the pace, "Even when I was here for the funeral, I left halfway through because I just couldn't be here. Then everybody came back to our house to 'give their condolences' to me, but I didn't want that. I just wanted to be alone."

Jensen wrapped an arm on Harper's shoulder as they walked, "And now?"

Harper sighed, "I don't know. I want to do this, but I feel like for some reason I can't."

"Well, say the word and we'll turn around and leave-"

"No," Harper hissed through her teeth.

Jensen pulled his arm away from her and slowed his step. Harper stopped and hung her head. Jensen walked up in front of her and bent down, lifting her chin to look at him.

"Harper, I'm here for you. And as much as you think you can't do this, I know that you can do it. All you have to do is walk over there, say what you need to say, and then we'll leave. Quick and simple," Jensen said with a smile.

A tear rolled down Harper's face, "But what if what I have to say...what if it doesn't mean anything?"

"No matter what you say, she will always love you. She'll always be right here," Jensen pointed at Harper's heart, "And here," he pointed to his own.

Harper smiled at her father, "Okay, let's go."

Jensen took Harper's hand and they walked to the back corner where Lizzy's grave was. Harper slowed her step again, but Jensen encouraged her to keep walking.

They got right up to the headstone, and the tears were flowing from Harper.

Jensen rubbed her back as he looked at the headstone, "Just do what you need to do, babygirl. If you want, I'll leave you two be for a bit."

Harper shook her head, "No, I want you here. You wanted to speak too, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I can wait until-"

"Go ahead, you go first then," Harper stepped to the side and allowed Jensen to step forward.

Jensen stuttered, "A-are you sure?"

Harper nodded and gestured for him to speak.

Jensen cleared his throat, "Um, hi Lizzy. Been a while huh? Like 7 years, last time I checked" he chuckled, "Listen, I know I wasn't exactly boyfriend of the year and definitely not father of the year either..."

Jensen looked at Harper and smiled before turning back to the headstone, "But I want you to know I cared, a lot. For you and for Harper. That day I met you at the make-up trailer was destiny. I knew that I loved you then and there, even if I did look like an Oompa Loompa on camera," he laughed, "But for real. You changed my life Lizzy, in more ways than one. I just wish things would've worked out at the time, but you wanted to go back to college and my acting career had taken off."

He crouched down and sighed, "Maybe if I didn't take the role in Supernatural we would've stayed together. Maybe if I would've stuck around more, you wouldn't have had to deal with Dennis, and Harper wouldn't have had to deal with him again today," a tear rolled down his cheek, "I messed up a lot, Elizabeth. And there are so many things I wish I would've done, that I wish I would've changed. Maybe if I did...you'd still be here."

Harper walked up to Jensen and laid a hand on his shoulder. Jensen looked up and saw she was also crying. Jensen put his hand on top of Harper's and sighed.

"I love you, Elizabeth. You've many great things in this world, but the best thing you ever did was bring Harper into this world. For the first 8 years of her life, I saw how much she was like you. And now that she's a young woman," Jensen stood and kissed Harper's temple, "She is more and more like you everyday. The way she acts, the looks she gives me. She has your beautiful brown eyes and your light brown hair, she's exactly your height. If I had to guess, probably the same shoe size too," he laughed.

Jensen hugged Harper tightly then turned back to the headstone, "All in all, Lizzy, you're an incredible person. And I'm thankful that I knew you. And that you gave me Harper. I love you, now and forever."

Jensen laid a hand on the headstone and let out a deep sigh. He took a few steps back and smiled.

Harper looked up at him and quietly spoke, "That was beautiful, Dad."

"Well, I spoke from my heart. And said all I needed to say," replied Jensen.

Harper turned back to the headstone while Jensen laid an arm on her shoulder.

"I think...I think I want to be alone...while I talk to Mom. If that's okay," Harper whispered.

Jensen nodded, "That's perfectly okay. I'll go up by the front gate. Take as much time as you need then come find me okay?"

Harper smiled and nodded as Jensen walked away.

She turned back to the headstone and sat down next to it. She pulled out her notebook and looked over the words she had written earlier. Then she thought back to what Jensen had said, I spoke from my heart.

Harper sighed as she stuffed the notebook into her backpack. She then brought her knees up to her chest, laying her arms across them.

"I had an entire eulogy written for you, Mom. But I honestly feel like none of it matters," Harper began, "I just feel like the last week and a half has been so crazy. So much has changed in that time. I moved in with Dad, I saw Danneel again after 10 years, I met my step-siblings for the first time, and I saw Uncle Jared again."

Harper couldn't hold back the tears anymore, "But it's really not the same without you here, Mom. I miss you, a lot. It's crazy that an hour before you died we were having a conversation about painting my room. We were going to paint it sky blue and I was going to paint clouds along the sky," she sobbed harder, "And it's crazy that an hour later your gone."

She wiped her face with her jacket sleeve, "Dad has been really trying though to help me adjust. At first it was really bumpy. I was scared being in a new place with new people. When I saw Danneel again, I got really scared. I was worried that she was replacing you right away. After we went shopping and she talked me into piercing my ears, we had a long talk," Harper smiled, "Mom, you two are so much alike. It's almost like...you are still living through Danneel somehow."

Harper looked down at her feet, "My step-siblings were a different outcome. I felt so upset that Dad never told me, but I see now it was because you told him not to tell me anything about Danneel or his family. At the time...I despised them, especially when they referred to me as their sister. But after I got to know them a little more, I realized they're not so bad. JJ is only 7 and the twins are 4, so it's hard for me to bond with them," she smiled at a memory, "There was one night that it stormed pretty badly. JJ came into my room and stayed with me because she was scared. I mean, I was too, but I felt like I had to comfort her because I saw myself in her."

Harper stretched out her legs and leaned back on her hands, "Then Uncle Jared came over and things were looking up. We talked for a bit, I told him how upset I was with Dad at the time," she cast her eyes down, "But things started to get bad. Jared and Dad had a talk, apparently about the day he left us. Dad and I had a little disagreement about what art is. I know you would've given it to him though," she chuckled, "Then I finished painting my room with a mural of Times Square. Dad found out and he was really mad. And that night..."

Harper had to stop as the memories of the night before started flooding in her mind, "Dad told me everything, Mom. How you forced him away just because he was having another family. That was really messed up, Mom. Dad could've stayed in our lives even though he had another family to go back to in Texas, you didn't need to push him away like that! Especially when Dennis was around. You and I both knew what Dennis did to us for those 5 long years was messed up, and you could've called Dad but you didn't. You should've done something sooner, but you didn't,” she paused to calm down a bit, “And I ran away after it all was said. I told Dad everything about Dennis even though you told me not to. He had a right to know. Dad had to beat Dennis up in Central Park today just to make sure he wouldn't hurt me again. And that could've all been solved if you just..."

She paused as she stood up from the ground, "But I'm not mad at you mom. I don't see you any differently for what you did. You're my mother. And I forgive you for chasing Dad away," she laid a hand on the headstone, "He was there though, Mom. He was always there for me. Just in mind, not physically there. He was thinking of me, I know he was. And I know he cares or he would've have came to New York to find me. I shouldn't have run away, and I know you would've been so mad at me if you were here. But I had good intentions. I needed to talk to you."

Harper took a few steps away from the headstone, her back to it now, "And now that I have...I feel a lot better. I feel like if you were here, you'd be so proud of the girl I'm becoming," she turned back around, "I think...I think I want to start taking art classes. Perfect my drawing skills. I want to continue to college after graduating High School. I don't know what I want to do yet, but I see a future now. And I'm going to talk to Jared about talking with a therapist. I think it'll help with the childhood trauma stuff. I'm going to fix my relationship with Danneel and JJ and Arrow and Zeppelin. I really want to continue fixing my relationship with Dad."

Harper began to walk away, "After all," she smiled, "He's going to stick around this time. For a while I hope,” she smiled, “I love you, Mom. I'll come back and visit someday."

Harper walked away from her mother's headstone and towards the entrance to the cemetery. She could see Jensen as she walked out of the cemetery. Jensen was currently on the phone, pacing in front of the gate.

He looked up when he saw Harper and quickly hung up the phone, "I promised Danneel I'd call you when I found you. But don't worry I didn't tell her about Dennis or about us coming to see your mom. I told her we'd be on a flight to Austin-"

Jensen was interrupted when Harper wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. He returned the hug with a chuckle.

"I love you, Dad. Thank you for doing this with me."

Jensen let a tear slide down his face, "Anything for you, babygirl."

They stayed like that for a moment before Jensen called for a cab. One showed up fairly quickly and Jensen instructed the driver to head for the airport.

They climbed inside, and the driver took off. Harper looked out the window at the cemetery as they drove away.

I'll miss you, Mom. Thank you...for everything.

------------------------------

Masterlist

My Cherry Blossoms

@mlovesstories @adorable-minibot @chessurkait @desiredposion @idksupernatural @thevelvetseries @spnfamily-j2

@let-me-luve-you @obsessedwithfandomsx @wecantgiggleitsafandom

@mangueweaschester @starchildwild @deans-baby-momma @spnbaby-67

@unicornmadness2444 @emery--nicole--morrison

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saharamae21 · 4 years

Text

Vapor (Part 7 )

Hey guys... Other content is coming! I promise! I’m just so addicted to writing this story.... Sorry it’s a bit dark. I’m almost finished with both imagines I have to post and I have chapter 10 on In Uncharted Waters coming out later too! I’m going to try to get some sleep though here soon!

This chapter is a bit dark.... (the whole story is) But if I get feedback that this is like too dark, I might take this part down and rewrite. So, let me know what you guys think...

WARNING: THIS FANFIC MIGHT CONTAIN CONTENT THAT CAN BE TRIGGERING TO SOME

Get Added To The Tag List!

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JJ’s POV

I hated hearing her cry. I was laying on the couch pullout with Pope when her nightmares started. It rang through the house like a banshee’s scream. I listened to Pope wake up and ask what was going on, but I didn’t answer him. It didn’t matter how tired I was at that moment, the only thing that mattered was her. I sprang to my feet and ran into her room.

She woke up as I sat down with her. She tried to get words out, but it was incohesive. She was crying too hard. I cupped her face in my hands and at that moment there was nothing more I wanted to do more than kiss her. I wanted to hold her and tell her that nothing would hurt her while I was by her side. I wiped away some of her tears and when she finally calmed down a little bit, I laid down with her, holding her tightly against my chest. She buried her face into my neck as I played with her hair. Her hot breath against my skin drove me crazy… I stared down at her as she laid in my arms. She looked so small, so beautiful. For a moment, I thought about how she was the only girl I wanted to hold in my arms for the rest of my life, and that terrified me.

“Why did you not want to be friends anymore?” she mumbled. She could barely keep her eyes open as she asked it. I felt that question pull at my heartstrings. I placed my lips to her forehead and gave the only answer I could at the moment.

“I don’t know A,” I muttered. “I’m sorry.”

I did know though. I knew exactly why I had said that to her. All of these years I thought about why I had ghosted her like that and only one reason stood out. I loved her. I loved her so much that I didn’t want to see her change. I didn’t want to see us gradually drift away from each other so I didn’t give us the option to do it. I couldn’t watch my best friend change in front of my eyes.

Now as she slept soundly in my arms, my heart felt full. It was fulfilling and painstaking. I loved being by her side, but I felt so guilty as I did it. I made her go through the past few years on her own. I abandoned her for the second time. I wouldn’t let myself do it a third time.

The light filtered through the blinds, causing me to groan. I turned and reached out to pull Addie back into my arms, but was met by empty sheets. My heart sped up as I frantically reached for her. My head shot up and I looked around, greeted by nothing, but the morning light blinding me. I got up and ran around the Chateau. I needed to find her. She wouldn’t have just left like that without saying anything. I walked back into the guest room, searching for any sign of her. My eyes landed on the bedside table. A note lay on the table.

JJ,

I can’t keep dragging you into my life. You left for a reason and I can’t make you deal with my shit any longer. I’m sorry for just leaving like this, but if I stay by your side any longer, I’ll just ruin everything. My memories keep flooding my head and it’s uncontrollable. I’m remembering things I never did before and I have to explore them or I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t drag you back into this all over again. I’m tired of burdening you. Plus your actual friends need you more. Good luck finding the gold.

Love,

I felt my heart shatter into pieces as I read her note. I crumpled it up in my hand and threw it on the ground. How could she think she was a burden to me? Is that how I made her feel all these years? I felt a surge of desperation run through me as I bolted out of the Chateau. I remembered that her car was still at my house, so if I could beat her there I could make her understand that there was no getting rid of me this time. I climbed onto my bike and drove as quickly as I could. However, when I got home, she already was long gone.

Adelaide’s POV

Waking up next to the person you love is the best thing in the world. It’s like a drug, once you do it, you keep craving more. JJ was better than any drug in my eyes. When I was with him, I was relaxed. No matter what was going on around us, if he had his arms around me, I knew I was safe. He was like a vapor I wanted to keep breathing in. However, to him, I wasn’t like that. I was this girl he wanted nothing to do with.

I looked at his sleeping face. He looked so childish when he slept. I pushed some of his blonde hair out of his face and admired him. I looked at him and thought that I wouldn’t mind waking up next to him for the rest of my life, but I knew how unreasonable that was. He was everything I’d ever wanted, but I knew I would make it harder for him down the road. Just like he didn’t give me the choice before, I wasn’t going to give him one now. I slipped out of his muscular arms and walked to the kitchen. I wrote him a small note and left it next to him. Then I left, not looking back once. I walked to JJ’s house and slipped into my car. As much as I wanted to head straight to the harbor, I knew I had to explain to my parents where I had been and where I was going.

It was just after sunrise when I had gotten home. No one was awake yet, so I left them a note as well. I told them that I had to find some answers from my past and that I might not be home for a couple days. I told them I loved them, but this was something I had to do. Then, I packed a bag and caught the earliest ferry to White Chapel.

I had to know the truth. I needed to know if I was crazy or if those names meant anything. I gathered all my courage before walking up to the police station. It looked exactly the same as I had remembered it. I don’t think one thing about it has changed. I took a deep breath and walked into the lobby.

“Can I help you?” a lady asked me. I looked around and decided it would be best to talk to one person in particular.

“Can I see Detective Chamberlain?” I asked. She told me he wouldn’t be in for another thirty minutes, but I was more than welcome to sit at his desk.

I walked over and took a seat, nervously playing with my thumbs as I waited. I couldn’t calm down as I waited for him to show up. Waiting for him can only be described as seeing a parent for the first time in years. Det. Chamberlain was the man who got me home alive and continues to call me every year to see how I’m doing. When he walked through the door, I knew. He had this aura to him. He radiated confidence and intelligence. He knew exactly who I was as well.

“Adelaide,” he said. He didn’t sound happy to see me. Maybe it was the nervous look on my face or the fact that I came without calling first. I couldn’t wait though. I needed answers. He asked me what was wrong immediately and I told him about my dreams. I told him I remembered something crucial. “Before I go into detail, I need you to tell me if there was a Julie, Scott, or Lauren missing when I was found.”

He left me to go look at the files. He came back with a box full of missing children from the year I was abducted. I watched as he pulled out a file and threw it on the table. Julie Morris, age 7, never found. Then another file dropped in front of me. Scott Davidson, age 10, never found. One last file was placed on the table in front of me. Lauren Fanti, age 6, never found.

“I’m going to be sick,” I mumbled, holding my hands up to my mouth. “I know where those kids are.”

Within the next hour, a handful of officers were in the cemetery searching for unmarked graves of children. I stood outside the gate, ready to be sick at any moment in time. They surveyed all morning and I waited for the results. I knew they had to be there with God knows how many others. I felt a hand on my back and turned to see the detective. He told me I was strong. He told me that families would rest easy knowing that they children could finally be put to rest in a way they deserved. He told me that so many answers probably still lay resting in my subconscious and that if I was strong enough, I should continue to explore them. I nodded in agreement.

“I let your family know you’re here,” he said. “I hope that’s fine.” “Yeah,” I said. “I should go give them a call. They’re probably worried sick.”

I dismissed myself and walked back to the station. I dialed my home phone, hoping it would go through. I know cell towers were down, but maybe the landline would work. Surely enough, my mom answered and asked if it was me. I told her I was sorry. I told her not to worry and that I was fine. I told her I had to stay here for a few days to help out with the investigation. She knew she couldn’t talk me out of this. She knew I wasn’t going to break. She told me if I needed anything, all I had to do was ask.

After we hung up, I checked myself into a hotel room. I had my mom call and tell them that it was okay for me to stay there. Plus, Det. Chamberlain also said something about my participation in an investigation to the front desk. They had no problems renting me a room. I dropped off my bags quickly and walked back to the crime scene to see if they got anything. When I got there, I noticed the looks of unease on every officers’ faces. I walked up to the detective and asked what was wrong. They looked at me and told me they found something. My heart sank as I listened to their discoveries.

“We were expecting a couple unmarked graves,” the officer reported, talking to the detective and not me. “We found the bones of 12 children. All of them ranging in sizes and scattered all around the cemetery.” Hearing that made my heart drop. My legs gave out on me and I sank to my knees, feeling defeated. My body craved JJ’s arms around me as my mind ran wild. This man killed over 12 people. How did he not get caught? How did he get away with this for so long? Out of all of my questions, only one of them haunted me. Why was I the one who managed to get away alive?

A/N: This is really dark, but I really like it.... Is it like too much at all?

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Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @jjtheangel @jiaraendgame @obxmxybxnk @waywardbarbie @talksoprettyjjx @obbx-tings @agirlwholovescoffee @thoughtsofthestars @outerbankslut @potterheadhollander @baby-pogue @lindzaylove @obxlife @queenofthebees003 @rockyyc77 @beth-winchester21 @outerbongs @sunwardsss @ilovejjmaybank @thesurfingsnail @animetiddi3s @kaelyn-lobrutto24

@jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @jjtheangel @jiaraendgame @obxmxybxnk @waywardbarbie @talksoprettyjjx @obbx-tings @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @thoughtsofthestars @outerbankslut @potterheadhollander @baby-pogue @lindzaylove @obxlife @queenofthebees003 @rockyyc77 @beth-winchester21 @outerbongs @sunwardsss @ilovejjmaybank @thesurfingsnail @kaelyn-lobrutto24

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tweedlydumbtweedlydoo · 4 years

Text

Off Limits (Spencer Reid) #6

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Tag List: @on-my-way-to-erebor , @haileymorelikestupid

NOT MY GIF

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After a couple rounds of drinks everyone agreed it was time to go home and rest. They said their goodbyes and headed out. As the group split and went their separate ways, Spencer followed Ava. “Ava, let me walk you home.”

She fixed her coat and pulled it closer to her chest, thankful for the company. She wasn’t a fan of walking home alone, especially in this part of town. She usually would grab a cab home, but she was tight with money this week after paying bills.

As the two rounded the corner and the coast was clear, Spencer gently touched Ava’s arm, “Hey… You okay?” Ava stopped and turned to face Spencer. Seeing her eyes start to swell with tears he engulfed her in a hug, “come here.” She couldn’t help herself, as soon as she felt his arms wrap around her the flood gates opened.

“Shhh… baby it’s okay.” Spencer cooed, rubbing circles on her back.

“I-I thought you were h-hurt.” She cried, “I was there on the phone with Penelope when it happened. I heard it all… the shots. Morgan calling your name, t-that you needed a medic.” He only tightened his arms around her. His theory was right. She had been crying today and heard what happened.

“Hey, I’m okay. I’m right here.” He pulled away and cupped her face with his hands, wiping the tears from her cheek. “Not a scratch on me.”

She sniffled, “I was so scared Spencer.”

“I’m sorry I scared you. I wish you hadn’t been in there when it all went down.” He wiped another tear that had rolled down her cheek. “But hey, I’m okay. It’s okay, we’re okay.” He gently kissed her forehead, “I missed you.”

He wrapped her in another hug.

“I missed you too.” She whispered into his chest, tightening her grip in the hug.

He walked her home and stayed until she got dressed for bed. She climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over her, then he slipped in next to her. He rubbed her back until she fell asleep before slipping out the door and heading back to his house.

A few days later, Ava had walked into work to a bouquet of flowers sitting on her desk. Daisies. Her favorite. She smiled and read the card attached, Good morning, beautiful. I thought you could use a little pick me up after the last few days. Dinner at my place tonight? Xx

He made sure to not say anything on the card that would give him away incase his co-workers asked. He had come in a little earlier, wanting to get the flowers on her desk before she arrived into work. Spencer sat at his desk and watched her face light up when she saw them. Just what he wanted. She had been struggling the last few days. Money was tight, them having to sneak around and with what happened in Dallas still haunting her. She hadn’t been sleeping well due to nightmares and was overall not having a great week.

She was grateful for his thoughtfulness. The few days had been hell. She took a quick glance at Spencer who was already looking at her and mouthed a thank you. He nodded in response. “Oh, Ava those flowers are beautiful!” JJ exclaimed as she walked through the doors, Emily following and commenting as well. “Who sent you those? Do you have a secret admirer?” She teased.

Ava laughed and shook her head. “They’re from this guy I’ve been seeing.”

“Oh, a guy you’ve been seeing? What’s he like?” Penelope piped, glancing at Reid and giving a quick wink.

“He’s pretty amazing. Super handsome and intelligent.” She moved the flowers to the side of her desk and out of her way. “Oh! And he’s a really really good kisser.” She gushed causing the girls to go “Ooooo.”

Spencer could hear their conversation and could not help but blush. He liked hearing her gush to the girls about him. Even if they had no idea who it was about.

“So, what’s his name then?” Emily asked, sitting down at her desk.

“What so you can get Penelope to look him up? Heck no. He will continue to be my little secret,” Ava did the motion of zipping her lips shut.

“Nice touch on the flowers.” Morgan whispered to Reid as he sat down.

“She’s had a rough few days. Only wanted to make her feel better.” Spencer leaned back in his chair. “She was there on the phone with Penelope when that shoot out had occurred. It’s really messed her up.”

“Can you blame her? She’s never been around this kind of stuff.” Morgan replied.

A couple weeks later Hotch received a call from the Atlanta Police Department. There had been a string of arson fires in the last few days, all with victims. Hotch called his team into the briefing room. A few moments later she heard her name being called. “Ava, I’d like your help on this case.” Hotch motioned her into the room.

Why would they need her help? She wondered as she grabbed her notebook and pen and headed for the room. The group was situated around the round table. The bulletin boards were filled with crime scene photos. Homes were burnt, bodies burnt to a crisp. She shuddered as the saw the photos. How could someone do this to another human being?

She went to take a seat on the couch not wanting to intrude at the table, but was stopped by Hotch, “Ava, come sit. I’d like your help with this case. It is happening in your hometown and you know it better than anyone. Also, it involves your father’s law firm.” Hotch motioned to the table.

Her father’s firm? Why? She took a seat between Spencer and Morgan. “What does my father’s firm have to do with this case?”

“We think his firm may have gained a few enemies.” He walked to the board and pointed to the crime scene photos of the burned down homes. “We seem to believe the un-sub is targeting the workers of his firm. All three fires have been set to the homes of lawyers who worked or have worked there.” Hotch handed folders out to the group.

Ava shook her head in disbelief, “But he doesn’t have enemies. The people of the firm are close. It’s a smaller firm. Family like environment.”

“Well someone is upset.” Morgan states, flipping through his folder and glancing over the pages.

“We’ve been asked to work the case and are heading to Atlanta today and I would like for you to come with. Are you up for that?” Gideon sets his folder down and looks at Ava from across the table through the rim of his glasses.

“I-I guess.” She was so surprised she didn’t know what to say.

“Ok great. Wheels up in 30.”

“Wait but I don’t have a bag. And I have a cat who needs to be fed.” Ava stands as everyone else does. She doesn’t have anything with her. And smokie must be fed and taken care of. She has work here to do too. She can’t just up and leave. “and I have work here to finish.”

“Penelope will look after your cat. Head home grab your things and meet us back here as soon as you can. Don’t worry about your work here. It can wait.” Hotch replies before heading to his office, everyone else heading to their desk. Spencer stayed behind, gathering everyone’s files, along with the things clipped to the board.

“Looks like you and I get to work a case together.” Spencer speaks up.

“Yeah I guess we do.” She helps him gather the evidence, still shocked she was asked about working the case and that her father’s law firm could have a potential enemy.

“And I get to meet your family? However, I hate it’s under this circumstance.” He slips the folders in his bag. “I know. It’s not like they don’t know about you though. I talk about you all the time,” she mumbles.

He smirks at her, “Oh? You talk about me all the time huh?”

She blushed, “Yes you idiot. Of course, I do.” She gently slapped his arm with the back of her hand.

“All good things I hope?” He raises an eyebrow at her.

She smirked, “Well yeah but some naughty things too. I did tell my mom about that thing you can do in bed… you know where you-”

His eyes went wide, “You did not!”

She laughed and shook her head, “No I didn’t. I’m kidding. Why would I want someone to know about that? I want to keep you all for myself.” She quickly squeezed his butt before walking out, laughing, he laughed in response and shook his head. She is something else.

Before she headed home, she gave Penelope the instructions for taking care of smokie if they were gone longer than a couple days. When she arrived home, she made sure Smokie had enough food and water and her litterbox was clean. Smokie would be fine for a couple days before needing to be checked on. Perks of having a cat instead of a dog. She gathered her things to take with her and headed back to the office, making sure the house was locked up.

When she arrived at the office the group rushed to the jet. As they were waiting to board the jet, Spencer walked up behind her, “This is for earlier,” he whispered before grabbing her butt. She jumped a little in response and blushed when Morgan turned around to look at them, “you guys okay?”

“Oh yeah we’re fine.” Spencer answered, “she just had something on her shoulder.” He gave a quick blow to her shoulder. “There. All gone.”

Morgan nodded, not believing them, “sure she did.”

The group boarded the jet and settled in. Gideon and Hotch took a seat in the back. Emily and JJ sitting at the table. Morgan sat in one of the open chairs next to the couch. Spencer sat on the couch and Ava followed sitting on the other end and putting her purse in between them.

She took a deep breath and took the chance to look around the jet. It was fancy. Fancier than any other plane she’d been on.

“I brought that book I was telling you about.” Spencer reaches into his messenger bag and pulls it out, “I figured you might want to read it.” He holds it out to her, but she’s reaching in her purse, pulling out a book a book as well.

“I brought the one I told you about in case you wanted to read it on the plane.” She laughed. He chuckled, “great minds think alike I guess?” They switched books and relaxed into the couch when Gideon spoke up.

“Ava when we land, we’re going to stop by your dad’s firm first. I’d like for you, Spencer, Emily and Morgan to go. Hotch, JJ and I will head to the Atlanta Police apartment.” Gideon stands, “We want to know if he’s made any enemies recently or if he knows why someone would be killing his employees.”

Spencer hands around the copies of case files and then opens his, reading over it, “Is it possible the unsub could have worked at the firm?”

Emily nodded, agreeing, “That could be the reason he’s picking off employees. Maybe one pissed him off and sent him into a revenge rage?”

“The unsub could have been fired and wanted revenge. Check with Mr. Camp and find out if he’s fired anyone recently.” Gideon looks between Emily and Spencer, then at Morgan. “Speak around with employees. See what their relationship is with each other, if there had been any previous altercations.”

It wasn’t soon after, the jet touched down in Atlanta and the team went their separate ways.

“Ava! Baby girl, how are you?” Mr. Camp exclaimed as his daughter walked in. Ava blushed in embarrassment and hugged her father.

“hey dad… These are my co-workers Spencer, Emily and Derek. Agents of the BAU.” She pointed at each of them as she said their names. Spencer was first to speak up and hold out his hand, “Dr. Spencer Reid, sir.” Mr. Camp shook his hand, giving him a look over. So. This was the man his daughter was dating. “Please call me James.”

Please don’t say anything, Ava thought. She had told her parents about Spencer but made sure they knew it was a secret. This wasn’t the way she wanted them to meet but oh well. Ava was close with her family and told her mother everything. She was happy her daughter finally met someone. A nice man for that matter. She hadn’t had the best luck with men in the past.

“Mr. Camp, we’d like to speak with you about the recent deaths of your employees.” Emily motioned to his desk.

Ava had left shortly after to speak with a few people in the firm that she hadn’t seen in a while. Morgan conducted interviews with the employees and found out a few things, but nothing stuck out. Spencer and Emily spoke with Mr. Camp about any employees that may have it out for him and the firm, but he couldn’t think of anyone.

“The people of this firm are very close. We’re all like family. I don’t know of anyone who would want to hurt anyone.”

“has there been any employees recently fired that could be angry?” Spencer asked.

“No, I haven’t fired anyone in a long time.”

“What about someone you interviewed but never gave the job to?” Emily glanced through the files of employees.

Mr. Camp thought for a moment, “Actually yes. There was a man who I interviewed a few weeks ago. He had a great resume, but something didn’t sit well with me. He didn’t seem like the family man this firm was looking for.”

“Sir, we’re going to need his name.” Spencer pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

Mr. Camp slipped his glasses on and ran his finger down a list of names, “Ah yes here he is.” He looked up at Spencer and Emily, “His name was Rodger Jenkins.”

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I can’t thank you guys enough for the love and support of this story so far! It means a lot to me. At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post the first chapter because it had been a long time since I wrote anything. Thank you again xx

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