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fernshawart · 2 years

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How to write a cane user character

(Written by a cane user)

A few months ago, I wrote a small guide on good disabled characters and why they were good that gathered quite the attention, and I thought that doing another more specific guide this time would be interesting for writers or just people that are curious ! This guide will include general informations, some things to do, some things to avoid and some ideas that might revolve cane users's lives.

Things to know about cane users

Cane users are pretty diverse, and putting us in little boxes usually isn't the best idea if you want to make a character that has substance and isn't just "the disabled one". Here some infos about cane users that might be helpful knowledge !

Canes don't have ages. Most cane users in media are portrayed to be old, but truly, anyone can have the need to wield a cane ! I've been using mine ever since I was 17.

Can users can have a large variety of problems for their canes. Some canes are used to avoid pain from effort. Some canes are used for balance purposes. Some canes are to make walking less exhausting (works the same as walking sticks !) And sometimes, it's multiple problems at once.

Not everyone needs their cane 24/7. Some always need it, some can make small efforts without it but overall often need it, and some people, like me, can spend quite a lot of time without it. I almost never use my cane in my house, and mostly take it outside !

People with canes can run. We're not necessarily slow, I'm even faster than a lot of my friends.

Not using a cane can come with consequences, but not always. Some people might be able to walk without a cane but then suffer horrible consequences, but for others, canes are just a commodity for specific occasions.

Canes don't have to be looked down upon. Look at some characters with canes that look cool as hell ! Arsène Lupin, Roguefort Cookie, Brook ... Their canes serve their style !

We can be pretty healthy. Some people can have canes just because they were born with a bent leg and that's it. Our cane doesn't define our health status.

Canes aren't a curse. Think of them as something positive. It's a tool to make our lives better. You don't see someone sitting on a chair and think "awh, it's sad that they need a chair". It's more something like "hey it's cool that this chair is here so they can sit down"

Things to do

Make them use their cane. And when I mean use, I mean that canes are just funky long sticks usually made out of metal. Have fun with it ! Let them use it as a weapon ! Trust me, one hit in the knees with a cane and you're DOWN. Use it to reach stuff that's too high for everyone ! Have fun. Be creative.

Let them decorate their cane. It's an extension of their body ! You usually put on clothes that you like, don't you ? It's the same for a cane. If they like cutesy stuff, let them paint in it pastel colors ! If they like a more flashy style, add some stickers on it ! If they're a fancy person, give them a beautiful crafted cane with jewels on it !

You can make them a little shy or uneasy about their cane. Some people don't feel worthy of confident enough to wield one. It's not rare to see people think they're "not disabled enough to do so"

But on the other hand, you can do the complete opposite !! Make them proud of that cane ! Make them act like they're feeling pretty and more confident with it ! One thing i like to think about with my own cane is that I look like a cool gentleman. That boosted my confidence immensely.

Things to avoid

Don't make it their whole world. And by that, I do not mean that their cane shouldn't be a defining trait of their personality. Think of Toph from ATLA. She is blind, and you usually can't think of her character without describing her as blind. However, that isn't her entire personality trait. Make cane users have a goal in life, friends who enjoy them for who they are and not just pity them, have fun ... Don't just make them the disabled one.

Don't try to make the character's life just a plain disaster unless it's the focus of your story and you really know what you're talking about. Having a character who's always in pain, who feels bad about relying on their cane and/or who's angry at the entire world for being disabled is a REALLY tricky subject to use if you don't want them to be either a mass of unhappiness and angst for no good reason or some inspirational porn of the character who inside is deeply tortured but outside keeps up a facade because they shouldn't cry to avoid making others uneasy.

Do not, and I repeat, do NOT try to heal them, especially in a magical way. Bad idea. A lot of disabled people's goal isn't to be healed. It's to live a normal life. Making it so the ultimate goal for them is to be healed makes it as if they were worthless as long as they were disabled. Making their situation better physically or mentally is one thing. Curing them completely is really bad. "But some disabled folks want to be cured !" True, true. But if you are able bodied, I'm not sure if you can have the right mind to understand all of the complex details about this situation that leads to someone's life choices and the end result may look like you think the only thing that can make disabled people happy is being freed from their condition. I think it's best to just avoid it altogether. If you need a more nuanced idea, try to give them a solution that still has a few downs ! For exemple, a prosthetic that feels like a real arm, acts like a real arm and basically replaces it perfectly is a full cure. But a prosthetic that takes time to adjust to, needs repairs sometimes and doesn't look 100% like an arm can be a better narrative choice

Smaller thing, but don't make the handle uneasy to wield if you draw the character design. You can decorate most of the cane, but if you have chunky spiky decorations on the place you're supposed to clench your hand over, you're gonna hurt yourself. I've seen quite a lot of jewel handles or sculpted metal handles and usually their not good. If it's detailed metal, your hand will end up cramped in little parts and it can hurt. If it's a jewel, it's so easy for it to slip out of your hand it's unpractical.

List of tropes/ideas of scenes/details about canes to help you write new situations !

If you walk with a cane during winter, you can't put your hand in your jacket to get warm and there's a high chance your hand will get freezing. So after a long walk, you get an excuse for another character to hold their hand and warm them up.

If the handle is metallic, you get the opposite problem during summer. You can burn yourself so easy ! Easy accident if you want someone to help and get closer to the disabled person without it necessarily involving their disability.

Canes are SUPER useful when you're walking upon heights. They make things really easy, just like hiking poles on mountains ! I live on volcanoes and whenever we clim on a harsh slope, I'm always the first to get up there. Good moment for your character to get a boost of confidence if they get all the way up somewhere before their friends !

The first time using your cane feels magical. If you have chronic pains, it makes you feel like your pain disapear. If you can't walk right, it feels like everything is suddenly alright. The moment where a character chooses to wield a cane can be huge for character development. It's a moment of fear because of the impact a cane has on their appearance, but also a moment of confidence and relief.

Canes fall. All the time. And after a while, it becomes fucking comical. Trust me, putting a cane against the wall, seeing it fall and doing it three times again in a row while it doesn't want to stay up makes you embarrassed but also makes you want to laugh because of how stupid it looks.

When you get a cane, you stop being invisible. When you walk outside, generally speaking, people don't look at you. They don't care about you. But when you get a cane, people start to stare at you for no other reasons that you have a cane. Half of them are just curious, especially if you're young. The other half has a very specific look. The "oh, you poor thing" look. Which is, trust me, particularly awful to get, especially when you're just existing and doing nothing special. How does your character react to this ? How do they feel about it ?

I believe that is all I had in mind. I may add some more details in the future if I get other ideas, but this should already be a good start. I would be thrilled to answer questions if you have some, either in my askbox or through DMs.

I will tag this post with characters holding canes that aren't necessarily considered cane users but that some people may be interested in writing as such. Feel free to tell me if you'd like to see tags being added !

Edit : I'm highly encouraging everyone to look at the tag section under this post where a lot of other can users are sharing their experiences !!

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zoromuse · 1 year

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want you (need you) | headcannons

taking an aphrodisiac with them and seeing who gives in first

characters. eustass kid, monkey d. luffy, roronoa zoro, vinsmoke sanji

general cw. f!reader, aphrodisiacs, just overall desperate men

a/n. based on this ask, thank you for requesting, i had such fun writing this <3

part two

EUSTASS KID

cw. mention of thigh riding, bulge

It definitely takes some convincing for him, but once he sees the competitive aspect of it, he’s kind of driven to the idea.

At first he found it kind of amusing, since he could see it started affecting you first; even though you said you were fine when he asked you, he didn’t miss the way you clenched your thighs for some friction from time to time.

Then it started affecting him, his body growing hot all over, from his cocks to his heat that were bright red from all the nerves, but he’d rather die than give in first.

In the end, you’d have to give up and ask him for what you want, he’s too stubborn to lose and you can’t take it anymore.

You were the first to pounce on him, straddling his lap and quickly grinding on his thigh to get any sort of relief you could find. Your thighs tremble on either side of his waist, and you’re panting wildly because it feels like you’ve been holding your breath ever since you felt the delicious drag of his cock in your walls for the first time of the night, but you’ve never felt better.

You bask in the afterglow of your orgasm for the next few minutes before you realize he’s growing hard inside of you again. You’re terrified to look anywhere, down to the place you connect with him for fear of seeing the bulge he’s surely leaving in your tummy, and absolutely terrified to look up to his face for fear of being met with the unchanging animalistic look of his face.

"Did you think I would be satisfied with just one time? I was just waiting for you to give in, now I'm gonna have my way with you…"

MONKEY D. LUFFY

cw. whiny luffy

He is always willing to try anything you want, so I don't think it would take a lot of convincing.

He understood the competitive aspect of it, but as soon as he started feeling the effects of the aphrodisiac he got extra touchy with you.

When you remind him you were supposed to see who could last the longest away from each other, it's almost like he doesn't hear you.

"Fuck that, I need you right now"

“W-wait!” you exclaim, his hands pushing at the dip of your fack to get you to arch further into him. This isn’t his favorite position, he much prefers so see you bounce on his lap and make a mess of yourself, or just simple missionary where he can see all the pretty faces he causes in you with every drag of his cock, but he’ll take this for now.

“No please, I don’t wanna stop…” he all but whines. His cock keeps abusing that same spot he knows drives you crazy, that’s why you’re having such a hard time voicing your concerns.

“You can’t be so… l-loud, someone might hear!” Your warnings fall to deaf ears, his pace is unrelenting and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, despite this being the third time tonight. The substance only gave him a boost on his already big stamina, and you’re starting to regret suggesting this to him.

“I love you so much,” he said. “I don’t care if anyone hears, I just want to-... mmm f-fuck-!”

RORONOA ZORO

cw. lots of dirty talk, a little bit of mean dom zoro if u squint, mating press, bulge

Much like Kid, he likes the competitiveness of it all, so it’s easy to convince him about this idea.

I think he would take a more teasing approach on it though.

As soon as he sees you’re feeling the same heat he is, he starts whispering dirty things in your ear to get you to give in first.

“You’re so warm, bet you feel so hot down there too, don’t you?” “How long are you going to keep pretending you don’t want me to bend you over and fuck you right now?"

“Fuck, thank god…” he groans, his hands holding your legs pressed to your chest as you claw at the sheets next to you. “Didn’t know how much longer I could take”

The irony of it all is that you didn’t know how much longer you could take this. His grasp on your legs and the way his cock hits all the right spots you were aching to have filled, it’s so overwhelming, and yet it’s everything you had been craving tonight.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his thrusts growing deeper and harder, if possible. “Too dumb to talk now?”

You nod, knowing if you tried speaking a mixture of slurred and unintelligible words would be the only thing falling past your lips. He doesn’t mind though, he likes watching you go dumb on his cock, still mindful enough to look down at the way his cock keeps bulging at your tummy.

VINSMOKE SANJI

cw. dacryphilia if u squint

He’s willing to try anything for you, so it literally only takes suggesting it for him to agree.

He tries to act like it’s fine, part of him wants to impress you, and part of him wants to see you beg for him.

Then again, he’s not very patient when it comes to you, so he’ll start with sloppy kisses to your neck, acting like he’s trying to make you give in first.

Eventually it turns into him cursing under his breath, and before he realizes the words are coming out, he’s begging for you to give him something, anything.

“Fuck-!” He groans, throwing his head back. You’re riding him, your tits are bouncing to the rhythm of your hips and your hands are grasping at his chest for balance. He keeps bucking his hips into you, and it’s throwing you off, but he’s reaching the deepest spots of your walls and you’re not sure how much longer you’ll last.

Still, it’s not enough for him.

He turns you both over, your back landing on the bed with a cry because he took you by surprise, and his hands now on either side of your body, holding himself up as your legs wrap around his waist and he fucks into you just the way he knows you like it.

Sanji hates to see you cry, but somehow he finds the sight of your tears prickling at the corners of your closed eyes so appealing, it almost drives him to the edge. Almost. He wouldn’t even think about leaving his baby unsatisfied.

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a-edgar-allan-hoe · 1 year

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Wild Horses

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Female Doctor!Reader, Soap x Reader Part 2

Part 1 , Part 3 , Part 4

A/N: Y’all have asked and y’all have received. Enjoy! Let me know what you guys think, I always love to hear your thoughts! Reblogs are much appreciated! 😊💜

Summary: Imagine being the new physician assigned to the team and a certain masked individual takes a new keen concealed interest in you. The two of you are too awkward to function.

Warnings: language, fluff, angst. This one might be a little sad and Ghost is a bit of an ass-jerk so be prepared.

As mentioned before, Ghost completely stays clear of your vicinity after stepping out of your office. It’s not that he hates you. He’s just slightly irritated. With himself? Or is it you and that pretty face of yours and your comforting voice and your goddamn politeness and your accent. To be honest, the whole team adores your accent. He can’t tell. Remind you, this is a man who has probably never been shown any affection or tenderness so don't expect him to fall for you on the spot. This man needs therapy, like a lot of therapy. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to go through whatever it is he is feeling, finding the whole thing to be an inconvenience really. And because he doesn't know how to understand or face whatever these emotions are, he just buries it. It's easier for him that way.

Poor dude couldn’t even sleep last night, staring at the ceiling of his room and haunted by the idea that he accidentally offended you. This man may have a cold exterior but your scalpels are colder and sharper than the devil's jawline. He almost couldn’t blame you if you decided to inject some foreign substance into his bloodstream and make the whole thing look like it was a stroke. Wait, could you do that? Bloody fucking hell. This man spends too much time with his thoughts I swear.

The man spends the whole night trying to assess his feelings, or rather his attraction towards you, convinces himself you're just another pretty face. The man may be touch-starved but he knows there are other methods to handle his needs, even though it's been a long time since he's slept with a woman, like a really long time. But even then, that situation was different. There was never any intimacy involved, like a quick business transaction that finished just as quickly as it started. It only left him feeling as empty as he was before. Not to mention, he doesn't do well with human interaction and that one and only moment he had with a woman daunted him more than it needed to, and so he has remained abstinent ever since. And if he were being honest with himself, you're just a distraction. And how do you handle distractions? You steer clear of them.

So what does this man do? He does what he intended to do. He avoids you at all costs. Oh, is that you walking towards their small, makeshift kitchen to fix yourself a bagel in the morning? Guess what, he’s doing a full 180 and lurking behind a wall like Michael Myers and his stupid hedge, waiting until you’re finished so he can make himself his morning tea.

Not only that but he makes sure to take extra good care of himself, Vitamin C supplements or multivitamins, whatever it takes to keep himself in best health. He even looks up on Google for extra tips to prevent himself from having to send himself in. He had heard of the saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” and goes out of his way to buy an apple during his morning runs. But the poor chap has it all mixed up because when you walk into your office the next morning, you're surprised to see an apple just sitting there on your desk.

Ghost doesn't know that it's supposed to be the other way around and that the apple is actually supposed to be for himself. He doesn't bother to search up the meaning, nor does anyone bother to tell him because they don't even know that he's doing it in the first place. So every morning he goes on his run, he goes out and buys an apple, and so every morning you find one placed on your desk.

The first time you saw the fruit sitting there on the table where you worked, surrounded by your scattered paperwork, you were confused no doubt. You picked it up curiously in your hand, inspecting the bright red fruit before giving a shrug and biting into it, after you wash it of course. You think it's just a small little token of thanks from one of the men. Possibly Soap considering how flirty he was yesterday. Alejandro doesn't seem like the type to give fruits. He's more of a red rose and a bottle of wine kind of man.

But as days go by, each day you find an apple sitting on your desk. And as thoughtful as this gesture is, at this point, considering the amount of apples you've eaten, you're either going to have serious digestive issues or die of cyanide poisoning, as if you don't already have IBS. So what do you do? You start to collect the apples each morning, deciding to throw in your own twist to this gesture until one evening, the men come back from one of their missions to find a freshly baked apple pie and a stack of paper plates and some utensils sitting out on a table for them, including a small little card with the handwritten words "bone apple tea". What in the hell.

"What in the fucks is bone apple tea." Gaz scrunches his nose at the writing on the little card.

They're all standing around at the table staring at the pie with confusion written across their faces. All except Ghost of course, the way his eyes slightly widen once he sees it. His gut is telling him you're behind it. Hm I wonder what gave it away.

"What’s this?" Alejandro asks, tilting his head at the thing.

"Looks like apple pie." Gaz answers.

"Yes I know that." Alejandro remarks. “But what is it doing here?"

"Doubt it's from any one of you muppets." Price speaks up. He knows damn well none of these men know how to bake. There’s only one person here whose hands are skilled or nimble enough to make the braided trim on that crust. Not to mention the detailing in the center, like the way you carefully placed little leaf designs made from the crust on top of the braided design. Yup this was definitely you, unless someone else here had a secret talent they had been hiding.

Literally why are these men acting like the pie has poison it. As if Graves sent it or something. Just shut up and eat the pie before it gets cold you himbos.

"So who made it?" Soap asks, looking towards the others for answers.

"This," Alejandro chuckles after finally realizing, "this was made by the hands of a woman."

"Who, y/n?" Gaz quirks a brow, you're the only woman here.

How in the hell did you get the means to bake a complete fucking apple pie in a place like this? They always heard doctors have skilled and steady hands but what the actual fuck.

"Well don't mind me." Soap literally cuts a big ass slice for himself before going off to devour the thing.

The boys watch Soap basically almost moan once he takes a bite of your pie as he goes off yelling out something along the lines of "well tidy scran", before helping themselves to a slice.

Ghost is the last one to cut himself a slice. He was hesitant at first before finally giving in, plus he also got back from a mission and he's hungry. So when he digs in his fork and has his first taste, it's kinda like that scene from Ratatouille where the food critic Anton Ego finally takes a bite of Remy's food and is reminded of his childhood, except Ghost doesn't have a childhood.

Let me tell you these men are obsessed with your pie and are practically fighting over the last slice like a pair of siblings so don't be surprised when you wake up the next morning to the see that the plate that your pie was in is completely empty without a single crumb in sight. Jesus. Did they lick the table down too?

Also I think you may have just given Ghost a newfound sweet tooth. When he went back to his room that night, he's debating on whether he should keep his daily routine of giving you apples, so far it’s kept you away. What he doesn’t get is that you made a whole damn pie out of the apples he gave you when they were actually supposed to be for you, or him, if you look at it from his distorted perception. But wait. What if you know it's him, and that's why you made the pie in the first place? A way to a man’s heart is not only between the forth and fifth ribs, but it’s also through his stomach. And as much as he wants to deny it, he also kind of secretly wants you to bake another one. It's almost as if he's completely forgotten why he placed those apples on your desk in the first place.

So what do you see when you wake up the next morning? An empty plate and yet another apple sitting on your desk. Okay what the fuck. You've let it slide all those times but now you have got to know who's pulling this shit. It’s not that you hate apples, but the conception that you have no clue who’s behind this is making you start to view the poor defenseless fruit as an object of taunting and torment. And to be honest at this point, you're beginning to think this is some kind of joke. So with the apple in your hand, you head towards the common area where the others are currently settled.

“Okay who did it?” You call out once you enter the area.

Crickets chirping.

All heads snap towards you to see you standing there with an apple held in your hand. They're almost stunned to see you wandering about. They rarely ever see you since you're usually locked up in your office or your room.

The men have done a lot of shit so just what is it that are you asking. They stare at you with not a single thought behind their eyes, that is until their blood runs cold at what happened last night. Was the pie not meant for them? Shit.

“Did what?” Gaz gulps, trying to play it off as nothing happened.

"Who keeps leaving apples on my desk like I'm about to host a county fair?"

"Come again?" Price asks, not that he didn't hear you, but it's probably the most anyone has heard you speak that isn't related to your work. Not only that, but they’re so used to hearing your “doctor” voice that your normal voice is a whole pitch lower and almost sounds foreign and alien to their ears. Not that they’re complaining because they honestly love hearing it.

"Someone has been leaving apples on my desk every single day." You repeat yourself more slowly. "And I'd like to know who."

So you're not mad about the pie.

Ghost immediately snaps his head away from your direction and nearly chokes on his tea. It's almost a miracle he doesn’t get whiplash from how fast he turns away.

The others are still staring at you, a tad bit scared of the expression that sat on your face. They couldn't make out if you were upset or not.

"Well?" You ask, leaning against the doorframe with your hand stuffed in your coat pocket while your other hand tossed the apple about in the air.

"Couldn't be me." Soap answers.

The others shake their heads as you squint your eyes at each and every one of them, trying to decipher the culprit. "Whoever it is, I will find out." You take a bite out of the apple before tossing it to the nearest person, who happened to be Alejandro, before starting to leave the area.

Alejandro catches the apple between his hands, staring down at the fruit with a chuckle to see where you had bit into it before taking a bite of his own.

Soap can't help but clench his jaw at Alejandro's cockiness. Ghost just turns away unbothered, it’s none of his concern. Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

"Wait you're not mad about the pie?" Gaz calls out after you.

"What pie?" You turn back.

Wot

"The pie....from last night."

"I have no clue what you're talking about." You put on your best innocent expression before walking away.

The men snap their heads towards each other. Have they been poisoned? The longer they stare at each other, the more panicked they get.

Alejandro glances down at the apple you had thrown in his hands and is so close to spitting out the bite he had taken.

"I'm kidding." Your voice nearly makes them jump out of their skin as they turn to see your head popped through the doorway. "The pie was from me." You walk away again before turning back around. "Oh, I almost forgot. I have your blood results so if you're free, come see me when you get the chance."

Shit. Ghost thinks to himself after hearing you mention the blood results. He is hoping his blood sample got demolished in some shape or form, but the way you didn't even try to pull him aside to break the "unfortunate" news tells him otherwise. He's just not going to show.

The men watch you walk away in silence after your little moment of humor. They almost don't know how to react. The way the warmth of your voice blended with the obscurity of your words threw them in for a loop.

All except Ghost have no clue who has been sending you apples, but whoever it is that is sending you the fruit, they think that person is trying to win you over. So what started out as some misunderstanding on Ghost's end has now turned into this whole peacocking ordeal. Now it's a competition of who gets you better gifts in order to gain your affection, mainly Soap and Alejandro and even Gaz, but mostly Soap. Price still shows you appreciation for your work and what you do in his own way.

Poor Ghost was just trying to manifest "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". So who’s gonna tell him?

Anyways, when you return to your office to work on your paperwork, the boys go out to get you a little something before meeting up with you to go over their bloodwork results. Despite Soap and Gaz's efforts, Alejandro is the first to leave and the first to return. And just as Soap returns with his little gift for you, Alejandro beats him to it, a smirk playing on his lips as he enters your office with a red rose in hand. Poor Gaz wasn't able to find you anything special so he gets you a cool looking rock he saw instead.

Soap is practically fuming. If you squint hard enough, you might see smoke coming out his ears.

You hear a knock on your door and look up from where you sat at your desk to see Alejandro stepping into your office, a sly smirk on his lips as he holds out a rose.

"Alejandro." You quirk a brow. "What's this?"

"For you, hermosa."

"Oh?" You cock your head back in surprise as you take the rose from his hands. "What for?"

"Oh just a little way of showing appreciation." Alejandro leans against your desk.

"Why thank you Alejandro" You blink, trying your best to push down the blush that tries to creep itself onto your cheeks.

"My pleasure."

You decide to place the flower inside the empty vase you had already set out from before when you moved your things in. "I had been meaning to get some flowers to brighten up the area."

"There's no need" Alejandro smirks. "I'm afraid the rose doesn't compare to you. You do that all on your own."

Little do you know Soap is listening in on the whole thing with a frown. If he pressed his ear any closer he'd fall right through the door. Sure the Scots have their special charm but Alejandro is different and has the most rizz out of all of them, and Soap is fully aware and has always heard they make better lovers and that only adds to his panic.

Now you're definitely not able to hide the heat that spread through your face. You can't tell if it's the state of being flustered or just social anxiety. Well they weren't wrong about Alejandro having a way with words. "Geez, thank you Alejandro. But there really is no need for flattery."

"For you, anything hermosa."

Omfg this dude.

You look away from his strong gaze, managing to shove your flustered state away and stopping yourself from releasing the sharp wit you inherited from your father. Clearing your throat, you open up his file. "Well that really is kind of you Alejandro. And since you are already here, I have the results from your blood work."

"Oh? Everything should be good yes?"

"Well yes, for the most part but-"

"But what?" Alejandro looks confused. What's wrong with his blood?

"Your cholesterol levels are pretty high." You open up his file and read over his results.

"They are?"

"I'm afraid so, but not at a dangerous level. You should probably cut out some of that fried food and red meat and watch your butter intake. Nothing too serious though. Add some greens into your diet, as well as some nuts and whole grains and definitely more fruits and veggies and you're good to go." You hand him a copy of his results before giving a look of grimace. "But watch out on the fiber though. Too much of it can lead to increased bowel movements."

"Increased what?"

"You know, a case of the shits."

The way Soap pulls his ear away from the door and slaps his palm on mouth to keep himself from letting out the most offensive laugh known to mankind. If only you could have seen it. Is he going to bring this up in Alejandro's presence? Maybe.

Alejandro looks over the papers you gave him. "Wait really?"

"Yeeaaah." You give the poor fellow a sympathetic smile. "But hey, everything you need to know is right on those papers, so as long as you cut out the foods mentioned and get a higher intake of the others listed, you'll be back to normal in no time."

"Oh uh. Thank you y/n. I appreciate it."

"Anytime Alejandro." You smile. "You know where to find me."

The way Soap nearly trips over himself as he backs away from the door after hearing footsteps, as if he wasn't eavesdropping on every thing.

Alejandro opens the door and walks out of your office, eyes glued to the papers while Soap is just standing there trying not to be noticed.

The moment Alejandro is out of sight, Soap goes over and knocks on your door.

"Come in." You look up and smile to see Soap. Over the course of the few days since you first arrived here, you were to quick to warm up to the young Scotsman, finding comfort and humor in his personality. You enjoyed hearing him talk about just about anything, and his accent always helped to make whatever he had to say all the more interesting. It really is a good thing he does most of the talking since you make a better listener and love to hear what others have to say.

Soap knows you don't talk much and how you prefer to listen and hear stories, so he always makes sure to keep you entertained. This man is 100% golden retriever energy. Also he calls you lass and lassie and you just eat that shit up, he loves how you blush and that small restrained smile appears on your face whenever he says it. Don't worry, so would I. "Soap! You can have a seat if you want, this will be brief."

"Oh uh, I've actually got you something." Soap hands you a small box.

"Oh?" You quirk a brow as you take the box from his hands? What is it with everyone giving you gifts? Are they in on something you're not? "What is it?" You ask as you open the small box to see a bunch of what looks to be biscuits.

"Scottish shortbread." Soap smiles, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "I brought them along with me from back home but I thought you'd like them with your morning coffee."

"Wait, are you sure you don't want them for yourself? I feel bad."

"Nah. I can always get more.......if-when I go back home. You keep em. It's for ya. Think of it as a welcoming gift.....for all ya done, and the pie ya made for us."

"Soap, I don't know what to say." You give the man a heartfelt smile. "Thank you.....really, it's very thoughtful of you. It'll give me a variety from my bagels."

"Don' mention it." Soap places his hands behind his back before noticing a small framed picture you had set up on your desk that definitely wasn't there before. "Is that you?"

"Hm?" You raise you brow to see what he is referring to and seeing him gesture to the photo.

"Oh. Yeah, that's me as a little girl." You glance at the photo as a soft smile appears on your face. It was a picture of you when you were a little girl around the age of 5, when your dad took you on a camping trip to Zion. The two of you were sitting near the tent he had set up overlooking the mountain range with you sitting in his arms while he played his guitar, wearing that same old baseball cap of his that you had grown accustomed to seeing as you grew up. The longer you looked at the picture and relived that core memory, glancing at the crooked grin that sat on your little face and the way your father beamed, the more your face began to match the fond look that radiated off your father's eyes as he looked down at your giggling state.

"That's quite the smile you got there." Soap teases, chuckling at the expression you held in the photo.

"Oh please." You roll your eyes, knowing exactly what he was joking about. "I know I looked goofy. My baby teeth were falling out."

"And that's yer dad?"

"Yup. That's my old man."

"Ya have yer father's eyes." Soap smiles at you, knowing now where you inherited that certain warmth held in your eyes that was able to put the coldest man at ease by just one look.

You let out a soft chuckle, glancing down at the ground to blink away the tears that have yet to form before looking back up at the soldier. "I've been told."

"Where was this taken? The scenery is absolutely braw."

"That was taken at Zion National Park in Utah. My dad had taken me there on a camping trip."

"It's absolutely gorgeous."

"Maybe I'll take you one day."

"Ya mean it?" Soap turns towards you, a grin forming on his face.

"Why not? It's been a while since I went, not since the photo."

"I think you've just made my day lass." Soap smirks before turning to the other photo. "And I'm guessing that's you as well." Soap gestures to the other photo of you around your middle school years that your dad had taken of you, wearing a wet suit as you sat on your surfboard, a grin on your face and your hair matted with salt water while one of your hands formed the shaka sign. "I dinnae ken you surfed."

"Oh yeah, surfing was my life. This was back when I had caught my first wave in Hawaii. My dad was so proud. Took me out for shaved ice right after and couldn't stop bragging to everyone there about how effortlessly I had tube ridden that thing."

"Your dad sounds like a great man."

"The best."

Soap notices the way your smile ever so slightly dropped at one of the corners, as if some sadness had managed to overcome whatever memories that lied in your head so he clears his throat, deciding not to press on the subject any better. "So how does my blood look?"

"Good actually." You blink, his statement reminding you of what you were going to do since he stepped into your office in the first place. "Your levels are all pretty balanced." You hand him a copy of his results. "As for the muscle cramps you mentioned, try to get a higher intake of electrolytes like potassium, magnesium, and calcium. And most importantly, don't forget to stay hydrated and drink lots of water."

"Aye ma'am. I'll make sure of it."

"Thank you Soap."

"No, thank you." Soap gives you one last smile before heading out. "I'll see you around."

"Bye."

It was not long after Soap left that Gaz entered next followed by Price, hearing you go over their results with intent ears. You actually really loved the little rock Gaz had given you, he had even drawn a smiley face on for you. You thought it was really cute despite his embarrassment in not finding you something better. And after the two left, there was only one person left that had yet to show up at your door. Simon 'Ghost' Riley.

Not wanting to pressure the man who looks like he'd stab you for looking at him the wrong way, you decided to stay at your desk, working over some paperwork of your own until the time comes when he decides to show up whenever he sees comfortable.

Picking up your mug, you decide to get some more coffee, leaving your office and heading to the kitchen area to brew yourself a new cup. Looking up from your feet, you see Ghost walking walking in your direction in front of you.

"Ghost!" You call out to him, or as much as you can call out. You never were one for raising your voice, despite the many times your previous teachers had urged you to speak up, displeased with the way you preferred to keep to yourself as opposed to your more extroverted peers. But even when carrying out their commands to speak louder, you always hated doing so, thinking it drew too much attention towards you. It's a wonder you got through med school and became a doctor in the first place.

Ghost had heard you calling out his name and immediately his muscles tense. The last thing he wanted was for you to see him because that only meant one thing, being dragged into your office to go over his blood results until something else insulting slips from his lips. I promise he doesn't hate your guts! So in order to evade you, this man does the first thing that comes to mind, he walks straight into the nearest room, which just so happens to be the shared showers. Simon you dumb fuck. Let’s hope Price isn’t butt ass naked in there for Simon’s sake.

You blink, standing there with your mug that your friend from college thought would be funny to gift you when you started med school, the one that had the words "I have a PHD" in bold colorful letters with the finer print "pretty huge dick" right below it (of course you never used that mug back at the hospital or else you'd hear about it).

So with your mug in hand, you watch the masked man walk straight into the room where the shared showers were. Huh. Well that's weird. You try to give the man the benefit of the doubt, thinking he just did not hear you. Maybe he'll stop by later. So shrugging off what just happened, you head into the kitchen to make yourself a fresh cup of coffee. God an iced coffee sounds good right now.

Once you had headed back to your office, finishing up your work and taking little breaks in between to read your book or snack on something, an hour turned into two, and so forth. Until you looked at your clock and it was already past the time of sunset. Jesus. Where did this dude go? Getting up from your chair, you step out of your office, holding the door open and seeing not a single soul headed in your direction. What in the-

With furrowed brows, you step back into your office, staring down at Ghost's results that just sat there waiting to be picked up.

"Goddamn it." You hiss between your teeth. You have no idea what his issue is or why he avoids you as if you spit in his fruit loops or tea or whatever. But if he keeps this up, it could interfere with your own job. Looking around at your desk, an idea pops into your head as you grab two things that lied there, a sticky note and a two dum-dum lollipops, a sugar cookie flavor and a butterscotch one.

Heading out of your office, you head towards where the men's rooms are located before stopping at a certain particular one, surveying the area around you to make sure no one sees you before staring straight at the door in front of you. Taking out your pen, you write on the note "please stop by my office when you get a chance", making sure to add your initials in the corner before taping it to his door along with the two lollipops, hoping the candy will be some sort of bribe.

"God I hope this works and he doesn't shoot me in the head." You mutter out before heading back to your own quarters that was separate from the men's due to standard protocol. Throwing off your coat and your clothes, you threw on an oversized t-shirt and some sweats, eating a microwaveable dinner in your own room before getting ready to go to bed. There was nothing you craved more than to collapse onto the mattress and bury yourself under the covers. And as you finished brushing your teeth, turning off the lights and getting into a comfortable position under your blanket, all you could do was stare at the ceiling above you.

Little did you know, that same night, in that same moment, there was another who could not sleep, staring at the ceiling as you did now. He had saw the note that you had left him on his door, as well as the two lollipops. It almost annoyed him, whatever it was you were showing towards him. And it did not help that the note had smelled of you, of that perfume that oh so enriched his senses. The man literally has your note laying on top of his bedside table along with the lollipops. He'll throw it out first thing tomorrow he tells himself.

"Oh come the fuck on." You moaned as you turned over onto your side but to no avail. No matter how hard you tried to shut your eyes and shut out any thoughts that attempted at keeping you awake, you just could not fall asleep until you finally give up. "Jesus fuck shit fuck." You hiss to yourself as you throw the blanket off you, sitting up on your bed and throwing on your sweatpants before getting up. Usually on nights like this where you couldn't sleep, you'd find a way to calm your nerves, whether it be reading or drawing or listening to a comforting audiobook.

So, grabbing your pillow and blanket, you open up your closet and grab your father's acoustic guitar, going back over to your bed and staring at the framed photo of your dad that sat on the bedside table before taking that with you as well. Leaving your room, you make sure to be as quiet as possible, looking both ways before heading up towards the roof of the building.

When you were little and had trouble sleeping, your dad used to take you outside to where the two of you had built a little fort, where the two of you would lay under the stars, brushed over by the cool night breeze as he played his guitar, singing old folk and slow classic rock songs until you finally fell asleep. And as you stepped onto the roof, craning your neck to stare up at the stars above you, you were reminded of those moments and the peace it gave you. Setting your bedding down, you prop the picture of your dad up next to you before sitting down with the guitar in hand.

"Hey dad." Your voice is a whisper as you look down at the photo of your father beside you. The photo was taken not even a month after you were born. He had taken you to the fire station he was stationed at, excited to introduce his team to his new precious baby girl, his first child. You could almost say it was your favorite photo of him, sitting on the front bumper of the firetruck in his uniform with you bundled up in a pink blanket in his arms.

"I know it's been a bit of a while since we've last talked." You sigh, forming your fingers into a chord on the fretboard of the guitar. "So to make up for it, I'm going to sing you one of the songs I always used to sing. You know the one, it's one of my favorites, and yours too."

Despite his efforts to fall asleep, Simon had ended up stepping out of his room, walking about the grounds to somewhat ease his mind. This was obviously nothing new to him, he always had trouble sleeping. And during those nights he had trouble sleeping, he'd take a walk to help clear his head. He found comfort in the silence of the night, when everything and everyone was asleep. He would usually go to his favorite spot on the rooftop, where he would seek refuge under the obsidian skies and the silver stars.

As he goes up the stairs that lead up to the roof, he stops at the sound that comes from beyond the door, what sounds to be someone singing and strumming the guitar. Curious to know who the hell had taken his spot and had the radio playing, he goes up further to investigate. So imagine his surprise when he finds you there instead, wrapped up in your blanket and strumming against your guitar, singing The Sundays cover of Wild Horses.

"Childhood living is easy to do The things that you wanted, I bought them for you Graceless lady, you know who I am You know I can't let you slide through my hands" Your voice is ethereal as you sing out the lyrics, your face molded into these deep emotions you can't quite explain.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild horses couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain And now you've decided to show me the same No sweeping exits or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away

Faith has been broken and tears must be cried Let's do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday."

During the entirety of the song, Simon stands there in the distance behind you, hidden in the shadows, entranced, and can't seem to explain the tingles he feels washing over his body. He thinks he has intruded upon you and wants to leave you to your solitude in what seems to be an intimate moment for you, and yet he can't seem to be able to get his feet to move. Instead he's watching you with this newfound interest. He had never expected you to play the guitar as you did, nor have the voice that you did. So as you finish your song, he almost trips over his own feet trying to back away, scared that you might somehow notice that he had been there this whole time.

"God I miss you dad." You wipe away at the tears that start to spill down your cheeks despite your attempts to wipe them away with the back of your sleeve, scanning your eyes over the stars that scattered across the sky, imagining he was up there amongst them. "I miss you so much."

Regaining his footing, Ghost is careful to open the door leading back into the building, that is until he hears you let out what sounds to be a choked sob. He turns his head back towards you, seeing you bring your knees up to your chest as you cry out, mumbling something he can't quite understand. With his hand still holding the door open, he looks down at the set of stairs, turning his head back towards you for one more time before going down the steps, being careful to shut the door without any noise possible.

Part 3

Tags: @souls-rain @euovennia @i-wish-we-could-stay @depressedacidtest @gh0stm3g @thequeenofbigmacs @k1llerch4n @abbiesxox @feraltiddies @wand-erer5 @1redheaded3dragon @anisa269 @joceymoo @mango-corner @classickook @trueee33 @sockertop @lupskelly @chxbits @kuwizo @sluxm3ozt @tobybestupid @anarchygoose @lez-zuha @thatoneautor0123 @marvelmysterywoman @ella-error505 @awkward-0 @ariessux @kermitdefroghere @urloverx @alldaysdreamers @rat-elbows @nananarc @watersquirtpewpewboomm @izzyisstuff

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annabelle--cane · 7 months

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I guess the thing that makes me not so fond of Jon's addiction allegory is that it's only coherent to a certain extent? Like I think people sometimes forget that he's actively violating these people

anon, through no fault of your own you have accidentally hit upon my sleeper agent trigger phrase. I have layers of answers to this.

so first off, yeah, it's not a 1:1 direct metaphor, it's a soupy dream logic fantasy plot device with flavors of a lot of different things. there's quite a lot of addiction in there, there's some abuse of power, there's some cyclical nature of trauma, there's a dash of disability, there's a few notes of gendered violence, there's a good bit of just. violence violence and being kind of a motherfucker because goddammit it feels good to be an active agent about something in your life, even if it's just choosing to be a worse version of yourself than you strictly need to be. a lot of tma's worldbuilding is very allegorical, but apart from aspects of individual statements nothing really matches up quite 1:1 with a real world counterpart, and if more things did then it probably wouldn't be a fantasy show anymore.

secondly. okay to contextualize this answer a little bit I have a kind of hypothetical video essay project about vampirism and addiction that I like to spend a few hours thinking about every so often but am almost certainly never going to make because the full research burden required is a lot higher than I actually have the time to properly do. but because of that I've spent a lot of time sorting through why framing vampires as addicts really works for me in a way that it doesn't seem to for everyone, and I think a lot of my thoughts on that also apply to jon. there's going to be a bit of a detour here before we get back to talking about tma, but we'll get there, I prommy.

I've seen a lot of people take issue with various paranormal addiction allegories because, a lot of the time, the act that is meant to metaphorically represent the act of use itself is something that is directly and inherently harmful to others, e.g. drinking human blood, handing over power to your hedonistic Evil alter ego, holding the cursed amulet and going crazy going stupid, slurping trauma out of the head of some guy you ran into on a boat to norway, etc., and yeah, I do get that. substance use is not inherently harmful like that to anyone except sometimes the user themself, and addicts are not inherently fucked up and destructive people; those are dangerous stereotypes that often lead to the demonizing of a whole group of sick people.

here's the thing for me, though: those are definitely truths I want explored and represented when it comes to portrayals of non-allegorical actual addicts, but fantasy fiction isn't for showing the world as it is, it's for showing a subjective fun house mirror version of reality where certain aspects are minimized and magnified depending on how it feels to live through it. and yes, absolutely in real life drug use is not an inherently evil act and it does not make you an inherently evil person, but... doesn't it kind of feel like that? sort of? absolutely no one is living their best life nor on their best behavior while experiencing any kind of major mental illness episode, and when it comes to addiction you've got a very clear tangible symbol of when The Episode is happening that it feels like you have much more control over than when it comes to other illnesses. it's also a thing where people are a lot more likely to be openly angry and distrustful of you if they find out it's happening. so you mix together the ideas of "I know I get worse as a result of doing this one specific thing" + "I act less like myself when I'm using, it rearranges my priorities and I care less about hurting people because that's what happens when you're experiencing The Horrors" + "society at large/people directly around me are pretty quick to say that doing this is evil," and you get the subjective emotional result of "I hurt people by using and it makes me monstrous." I tend to respond to those kinds of paranormal allegories like they're just cutting out the middle man of those subjective fears. "using makes me monstrous" -> "using is monstrous."

anyway. jon archivist.

don't get me wrong, I totally understand if this aspect of metaphor doesn't gel for some people and they only like taking it exactly as far as the text explicitly makes them, but I really get a lot out of reading jon's connection to the fears as addiction precisely because he does genuinely awful things to people as a result of it. he's a person in a very bad physical and mental place with little to no support who is constantly being told by both allies and enemies that he's already a monster just by being alive, and he copes with that by secretly falling further and further into an compulsive act of consumption that skews his priorities and makes him care less about hurting people because at least sometimes getting to be the cause of pain makes him feel a little bit less powerless when he has to be the subject of pain the rest of the time. then he's found out and is made to stop, and he has to grapple not just with the physical toll of withdrawal but with knowing there is a not insignificant part of him that will excuse any act of malice if he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

the end of tma is very explicit in the fact that the rules of its world are shaped by the subjective worst fears of those who live in it, it's "an exercise in unreliably reality" as jonny sims put it once, and I think that principle extends backwards in some ways to apply to the rest of the show. I don't think the fact that there are only entities of fear and not hope or love is meant to be a full commentary on the total nature of the real world, it's a reflection of what fear and suffering can make the world feel like. eric and melanie both go to really harsh extremes to extricate themselves from the fears and live peaceful lives, and in both cases something happens that foils their plans (getting murdered + the apocalypse, respectively), but I don't think the intended message is to say that is definitively how real life works, they are metaphors for the limits of individual agency in larger systems and represent two types of worst-case-scenarios. similarly, I don't think reading jon as an addict implies that addiction inherently involves violence or that the reactions of those around him were completely unjustified, it's just a subjective exploration of the kinds of fears that can come with addiction dialed up to 100.

#also to be clear after the first paragraph I'm using 'you' in a general sense not directly to You The Anon Who Sent This #I'm not trying to insinuate anything about whether You The Anon Who Sent This does or doesn't have any experience w substance use #tma #answered #anons

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box-milk · 25 days

Text

I'm not looking for forgiveness

Pairings~ Maria Leon x older sister! Reader

Genre ~ Angst

Warnings~ mentions pass substance abuse and character death, short and all over the place.

Disclaimer~ I'm not sure if mapi has any siblings as I'm still new to the football world but for the sake of this we'll pretend she doesn't .

"Mapi please listen to me".

"Y/n believe me when I say I don't want anything to do with you after what you put our family through for 3 years."

The disconnection tone, as well as a lifetime of regret, rang in your ear. You knew your sister's anger was warranted for the lifetime of trauma you put her through.

Mapi was just a teenager when she watched you throw your life away to drugs and alcohol and despite her age, she was the only one in your corner when your parents' inevitability gave up on you. Almost debilitated trying to keep you a float while also pursuing foot.

Even after her big break with FC barcelona, Mapi poured her heart and soul into helping you overcome your obsession, going as far as to pay for therapy, rehad sessions and support programs despite her parents fair warning which she soon regretted when she found out that money was been invested to fuel your addiction.

Completely gutted, she confronted you, but high off your ass you just disregarded her efforts laughing in her face, repeating the ditty as everyone else.

"You can't help someone that doesn't want it mapi."

And that was enough for her to complete leave you to your own demise while painful she had no choice but to harden her heart when it came to you.

°•°•°°•°•°•°°°•°

You're well aware of your sister's feelings, hell your family's feelings towards you, but seeing your sister at least was something that you had to do. You owed her that, at least. So you waited patiently in the parking lot of camp nou waiting for your sister to be done with training.

You sat a while in the blazing sun until you saw the heavily tattooed defender making her way over to her car, which you sat in front of when she's see you her smile immediately melts and her face hardens.

"I told you I dont want to speak to you cause if you're looking for cash for your next fix, forget it."

You shiver lightly at the cold tone, but you knew you deserved it. "I don't need money, maria, it's just something really important i have to tell you."

"Well, save it cause I really don't care."

"I'm dying, maria." You said softly, hoping there was a better way to say it, but when you saw that she would have left without hearing you out, you settled for the raw truth.

"What?"

"I'm dying, and I don't want money or anything just to let you know"

You've never seen so many emotions flash on mapi's face before, and you knew immediately which one it would settle on and braced yourself for what's to come.

"What do you expect you do drugs for half your life and wasted the help I tried to give when nobody else would. Did you think this wouldn't happen?This is your karma y/n, and I hope you take it well cause I've run out of sympathy to give."

The harsh words stung yes, but you took it with a smile and that only added fuel to an already burning fire mapi continued to berate you, and you did nothing but take it on the chin reaching into your backpack pulling out a crumble envelope waiting for her to get everything off her chest.

When you felt it safe to extended your hand with the envelope, hoping she'd take it, which she did before crumbing it up and tossing it to the ground but pushing your body down aswell.

"I hate you with my entire being y/n, and I'm glad I'll permanently be rid of you. Have a good what's left of your pathetic life."

You pick yourself up shakily, watching as mapi's car quickly left the lot before picking up the letter and straightening it out, willing yourself not to cry cause in your heart you knew mapi was right. This is your karma.

°•°•°•°•°•°

Ingrid eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she gathered the mail the next day and saw the crumpled looking envelope she wanted to question her girlfriend about it, but she was out with alexia for the day.

So besides herself, she gently opened the envelope to see a letter written gracefully in cursive before reading and coming to two conclusions. mapi has a sister, and that sister is dying.

When mapi came home that afternoon, she found her girlfriend sitting while reading from a piece of paper that was quickly pushed to her chest wordlessly when ingrid realised she was back.

The shorter of the two brought the paper within eyesight in confusion before she recognised the handwriting and scoff but reading regardless.

Dear Maria,

I understand that I haven't been the best person in the world to our family and to you specifically, but I just needed you to know how sorry I am. I've been sorry for a while now long before I knew what my faith was. I spent months trying to figure out how I would prove to you how sorry I am, but I saw the life you built for yourself and figured it was best if I stayed away knowing how poisonous I can be. I'm sorry map's I really am I wish I would have taken the time when I had it to let you know but that's not the case. I'm in no way asking for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I just wanted you to know that you're 100% free of me and you'll do great things my little star and I'm forever thankful and proud of you.

A loving goodbye,

Y/n Leon."

○●○●○●○●○

An: this was sloppy but I kinda like it.

#woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #mapi león #maria leon #mapi leon imagine #mapi leon angst

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dolli-is-me · 6 months

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Chapter II: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕, 𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Welcome back to my cozy cottage! Relax, and sit back, I'll provide you the best effective routine that I have ever made, by using my whole knowledge of 3+ years in the field of void state and the subconscious and conscious mind, dabbing in subliminals and finally finding the key, this routine is for anyone, I personally used it for a couple of days and I can assure you, it works wonders, it soothes the mind, helps you realize what the void really is, and how it doesn’t matter how much you tried and failed, this routine is something special I'll share ♡

𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑬𝑫, 𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫: please bear in mind, the void DOES NOT need any routine nor it needs any special work, the void is you, you enter it every night, you have the key in your hands. This routine/guide I made is just a simple bearing way to help you let go of the void and let it come to you, a guide i made that has some helpful information to anyone needing it, remember, you control your reality, you decide how to enter the void, and you decide when to, with that being said, lots of love ♡

Chapter one// an introduction to the void, what is it?

“the void, merging nothing and everything at once, sit back and relax, the void has no hurry”

A state of awareness, where an individual is at it's most calmest point, a point where you feel an extreme wave of calmness and peace, with the feeling of reassurance, hope, and positivity, in this state, nothing that you have not intended for it to happen, will simply not happen

Why? Because you, are the void, you, hold the control over the void, you have the key, you turn the way the key should turn.

One might argue, but how can I reach it?

Reach it? You have already reached it, it's within you, it's you, you enter it every night.

The void state is a state of awareness ,it's not something you have to achieve to get the benefits, the void itself is you, your consciousness

The void is recognizable once being aware in it, it's a place where you are detached from being the one you are binded to in this reality, you'll feel weightless, formless, some report they feel like a “slime-like substance”, as to what it looks like, it depends, some say it's a certain color, yet most have an established idea that it's a dark dark place, some could say they are surrounded by stars, it's up to you and your consciousness

So, what makes it so popular and special in this community?

It's the sole fact that the void cannot block the desires you give it, it will manifest instantly the moment you intent to, nothing, I repeat, nothing, is impossible in this state, bending the fabric of reality can happen so easily as a human who had detached it's consciousness from it's being, that what makes the void special

Now I made it sound so special and such, we'll get the catch here, it's completely something easy as special as it sounds, and no, I am not saying this as a way to make you be positive or such ever, it's simply the hardcore truth, that this? Is the easiest thing

The void is within anybody, regardless of anything with them, it doesn't matter, it has no boundaries, no limit, nothing, but you are everything there

Chapter two// The switch

Now that we truly understand what it is, how about we go through methods? Surely you have seen such thousands of methods and tips, sometimes might overwhelm you

This is completely alright, it's nothing bad, take a seat, keep calm, understand you'll eventually enter any time, so why panic?

You can choose whatever you want to your liking, however, many report they feel more motivated when they follow a routine

Let it be, I have come up with a challenge x routine for you, and please please understand, this DOES NOT mean you have to use this to enter the void, no, in fact, you can snap your fingers and enter the void, the void doesn't need concepts or such, but concept had helped those with desperate mindsets, so it can help

In short, go with whatever your guts tell you, because the subconscious mind sends you these subconscious messages through gut feelings, and for sure your subconscious knows your body way more than anyone, trust it and follow it's instinct

Let's start shall we now?

( The void switch routine )

This routine will be heavily insisting upon reprogramming the subconscious mind, and before you say anything, no, it won't take 21 days or 4 or anything- it takes how many days you assume, in this routine, there is no deadline, simply do this until you reach it, it's easy and very simple, I'll teach you to effortlessly impress both the subconscious and the conscious mind for the void

- Use this one affirmation only for the rest of the routine

“Subconscious mind, ensure me to enter the void at will”

Or whatever else you choose, to, just remember, please use the term “subconscious mind ____”

- Upon waking up, tell yourself this affirmation, tell yourself as though you're just saying some fact, repeat it for some time while you are groggy, because in this state, it's a state of the theta mind, it will pick up affirmations easier

- Now I highly suggest this, to listen to [Lotus Mi’s pure affirmation tape], doesn't matter how long or when, minimum amount of time you have to listen is at least once, you can loop it through the night if you want to, it's completely optional, the pink link above will lead you to the subliminal

- Now, this here is extremely important, whenever you get a thought of the void or anything related, feel that have already reached it and have it, feel like you're a master at the void, repeat your affirmation and believe in it

- Now, comes the important part, before sleep, I want you to lay in bed, get comfortable, and just actually prepare yourself to sleep, do something that you'll get sleepy with, a state where you are so groggy and so sleepy but not sleeping yet, in this state, command your subconscious mind, tell yourself that chosen affirmation over and over till you sleep, I swear, it's extremely important and it's the highlight of the journey, you are reprogramming your subconscious, just like how Joseph Murphy said “give your subconscious a problem before you sleep, and let it solve it for you while you fall in sleep”

That's it! That's the routine that I've been taking literal two weeks to test it off and it's extremely efficient, it worked so so well for me, I'm sure you'll immediately see the difference once you try it, the subconscious mind is a treasure

(for more detailed way about the “command your subconscious mind before sleep” technique, here you go)

1. Get comfortable in bed, just be like other days and get yourself to sleep

2. Stay awake until you get physically so tired, and I know some might say they would have problems with that, you can count until you feel groggy, or daydream, or listen to music, do anything that makes you go sleepy but not sleeping yet

3. Now comes the important part, close your eyes for sleep and simply command your subconscious mind over and over again, tell yourself that affirmation I told you about, do that till you fall asleep

Good luck for anyone who tries this! I made it extremely easy and fun, it doesn't require that much energy at all! Also if I had mentioned anything that should be credited, then I'm extremely sorry and full credits goes to the right owner, I love you all and hope you a wonderful day, you can do this, I'm so proud of you 💗

Love~ Dollie💌

“C-c-c-collect…my fickle insecurities…and turn them into beauty…I alchemize the dark within me” - Melanie Martinez

#dolli memories posts!#manifesting #void #void state #void challenge #subconciousmind #subconscious #void success

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ma1dmer · 6 months

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League of Legends - Sett NSFW

gives him a thousand smooches

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): he gets so needy, he pulls you close and presses kisses on your cheeks and down your neck, he is not sure of exactly what he should be doing, but if you ask him he'll do it for you happily

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he loves his arms, he'll let you hang on his arm and secretly flexes whenever you put your hands on his biceps, he is not being half as subtle as he thinks he is being. on you he loves your hair, the feel of it through his fingers, long or short it doesn't matter, he'll tug on it to pull you close to kiss you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): inside, he'll grunt and press himself as close to you as possible burying his head in your neck and dragging your hips flush against his grinding himself against you until he is fully done cumming.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): mommy kink? did someone say mommy kink? its something he discovers down the line, and it's a battle for him to actually accept it, but sett, would absolutely want to be dommed at least once, have him on his knees and call him a good boy, make him pleasure you and call you mommy, drag your nails through his scalp and he is weak.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): honestly, I can't see him with that much experience, probably all talk no substance when it comes to sexual experience and how much he actually fucks, he has been so busy trying to make something of himself and build up this ,persona that he really hasn't allowed a lot of people close enough to do such things. it doesn't help that he feels like he should find the perfect person his mother will approve of.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): mating press, he'll always inevitably revert to it no matter what, he'll push your thighs to your chest when he is close and pound you down while chasing his release apologising if you are whining about overstimulation.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): he tends to be goofy without really realising it, doesn't understand why you are laughing ,but is just happy to have you laughing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): he is definitely hairy, with a thick happy trail leading down to his crotch that definitely matches his hair.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): he can't really do romance, he'll try if you ask, but it definitely doesn't come naturally to him especially during sex. he does want to be romantic he just isn't sure how and needs some guidance.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): pretty often surprisingly, he'll think of you and if you aren't anywhere nearby or if he feels like he shouldn't bother you, he'll try to get himself off, frustrated that it just doesn't feel right without you there. loves having you help him, even if it's just your hand, fingers wrapped so prettily around him as you stroke him carefully.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): breeding, some mild primal play, praise etc

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): anywhere with a closed door, the idea of maybe being caught does spike something inside of him.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): he needs you to take the reigns when it comes to when you two fuck, he won't get any hints, he needs you to be upfront about it but once he gets it he is absolutely ready for you. nothing like a person who can put him in his place once in a while.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): hurt you, he is definitely on the more vanilla side ,he'll try if you ask enough times, but his heart just isnt into it, he might accidentally do something that hurts you, he is a big man after all and sometimes his strength can be overwhelming ,but doing it on purpose, absolutely not.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): whatever he lacks in experience he makes up with enthusiasm, he'll hold your thighs open and occupy himself with eating you out for hours, he wants to be able to please you properly and he won't let you leave until he has found exactly what works for you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): fast and rough, some could say it's, animalistic.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): he loves those, he loves when you come to him and ask for his attention in any way, his chest will puff up with pride and he'll tease you about needing the boss to take care of you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): i can see him as being very on board with trying out something when you two talk about it, but when it comes to actually doing something different he loses his steam, needing guidance and reassurance ,and if its entirely out of his comfort zone he might freeze up entirely.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): his stamina is through the roof, especially if you challenge him on it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): doesn't get why you need them when you have him, but he can swallow his pride with a long talk about how they can help you both. He just loves pleasing you so much.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he doesn't have the patience to tease you or for him to be teased, if you try to tease him he'll growl and get grumpy.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): he is definitely loud, grunts and groans, and when he gets close he whimpers and whines and curses like fucking sailor.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): sett is absolutely a very needy and quite possessive partner, i can see him taking initiative more when he spots someone hitting on you ,or when he is worried of losing you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): is it too self indulget to give him a knot? its my blog and i can give sett a knot!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): definitely more talk than what he is backing up when it comes to sex and how much sex he wants to be having, he needs you to set the pace for how much you'll be getting it on because be genuinely doesn't mind.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he falls asleep very quickly ,wants to hear you talk ,wants to spend time with you but he is so cosy and you are so warm so he ends up drifting off and if he could purr, he absolutely would.

#sett #sett league of legends #sett lol #sett smut #sett x reader #league of legends x reader #league of legends smut #league of legends

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holy-puckslibrary · 2 months

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━ 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥.

──────────── 𝐰𝐜 — 1.9k 𝐜𝐰 — everyone is aged up / non-canon compliant ages bc i said so; rafe being an emotionally constipated, toxic douche-canoe 3000; an unhealthy dynamic; suggestive moments but not explicit; w*rd + substance mention, wheeze bein' a savage; and a potential cliffhanger? 𝐚/𝐧 — this is a lil nugget from a mini-series i have in the works :) lmk if you’d like to see more in the future! 💌 ────────────

main masterlist | MDNI

IF EVER THERE were a time when a human being might actually be capable of blowing steam from their ears, it would be this one.

Rafe Cameron has been pacing the length of the chapel's private lot since he dragged you out here who knows how long ago. Mumbling crudely configured sentences and half-baked schemes under his breath, he looks every bit the loose canon he's been branded as.

While not ideal, things could be worse—a lot worse. At the very least, he hasn't punched anything yet; concrete wall, tree trunk, or otherwise.

The "otherwise" in this situation (and most, to be frank) is JJ Maybank's pretty face.

Apparently, Rafe doesn't appreciate the way he's been touching you all afternoon.

"If that fuckin' pogue knows what's good for him, he—he'll keep his filthy hands off what's mine."

Strong words for someone who refuses to even attempt exclusivity, or make any sort of commitment whatsoever.

You gnaw on your cheek until copper stings your tongue.

JJ has to touch you, it's unavoidable.

Sarah, his younger sister and your lifelong best friend, has asked you to be her Maid of Honor and, to absolutely no one's surprise, John B, her fiancé, asked JJ Maybank to serve as his Best Man.

Sarah's older brother doesn't see it that way.

And why would he? That would involve rational thinking and a modicum of maturity—two things Rafe is allergic to.

In his perfect world, you would walk in the procession having left a him-sized gap, and, even then, he'd probably decide that wasn't enough. Knowing him, there would need to be an ocean between you two before Rafe was finally satisfied. And still, you know for certain he'd find something else to bitch about.

It's almost like he enjoys getting himself all worked up.

"Rafe, I'm not a pet or a toy to play tug-of-war with on the playground."

At your sudden burst of exasperation, the pacing comes to a screeching halt. And thank god for that; the repetition was starting to make you nauseous.

Just as firmly as his jaw, Rafe's fists clench at his sides.

"When did I say that you were?" he spews his venom at you, but his fervid attention remains fixed on the cracked pavement baking in the late afternoon rays. Rafe kicks a pebble into the side of a parked car, then continues, "—because I don't recall saying that. And you know how I feel about words being put into my mouth."

"No," you all but growl. "—but that's what you meant."

Your teeth ache from grinding them together. A migraine is forming at either temple, but you're already too exhausted by this conversation to massage it away before it takes root. You have your hands full with one headache right now, there's no room for another on your plate. But, like the eldest Cameron's emotional maelstrom, landfall is inevitable.

Rafe glares at you, but doesn't say anything to the contrary.

This begrudged acquiescence is the closest you ever come to Rafe admitting that you were right about something.

Or apologizing.

"Well, whatever you are, you're still mine. Something he doesn't respect and you seem to have forgotten—and I think we're overdue for a little reminder, sweetness."

He reaches for you, and you halfheartedly bat his hands away.

"Rafe, can we just... can we please do this some other time? I have to get back to—"

"—to your side piece from The Cut?"

"—to Sarah. Your sister. Y'know, the one who's getting married this weekend?" You cross your arms over your chest. Rafe rolls his eyes, clearly irritated you decided to cock-block his ogling. "—in case that bit of information got lost in your ego."

"Wow, you're really antsy to get back in there." His eyebrows jump, somehow unfettered by his audacity. The supplemental away from me is omitted, but deafening. "There's no need to be so defensive—if you have nothing to feel guilty for, that is."

You don't dignify his badgering with a response.

His tongue punches his cheek, and he looks away, as if depriving you of eye contact is a punishment in and of itself.

Rafe is trying to bait you into an actual fight so that he can exercise his big, bottled-up emotions without having to acknowledge their existence or their cause. There's too much left to do before the ceremony; you don't have time to spare for something as juvenile and pointless as feeding into his emotional scapegoat.

"If you're spreading 'em for Maybank, at least give me a head's up so I can get tested. It's common courtesy, sweetness."

Cold and debilitating, like a scorpion's venom, his accusation is devoid of the familiarity you've grown fond of. Under Rafe's prickly carapace of indifference, he is spiteful and chronically insecure.

This is what happens when you don't purge yourself of whatever is bothering you. Pent up, the negativity builds and builds day in and day out. The knot gets bigger, stronger, and harder to ignore the longer it's left undealt with. The conflict between inner turmoil and externalized chaos, often projected onto an underserving substitute, is harsh and bitter, persisting until there's nothing left to leverage. Denial is a dreadful opponent and an impenetrable armor.

You are the frog today, and you are more often than not. Perhaps there was a time when turns were frequently taken, but you can't remember.

In shooting to sting, he'll kill himself just the same. Yet, despite the assured detriment to your livelihood, you put your faith in rational deterrence and permit the arachnid to crawl onto your back.

A sense of duty is easily preyed upon, and a desire for benevolence can leave you blind to the true nature of things. Instinct, natural or nurtured, doesn't have to be a death sentence. Nor is it a prescription for life. Villainy, like goodness, is a choice.

The frog may not be able to sting or fight, but it can leap.

"Would you just shut up?"

You bring his mouth to yours before any more garbage can spill out.

He's keyed up on jealousy and, most likely, something else. Rafe's intent on pushing you away with tired cheap shots in a fit of anger. You've known him long enough to know that, in the absence of control, he does and says the exact opposite of what he feels.

He refuses to be vulnerable in any healthy way, instead preferring to throw double-edged rocks at your window from behind a wilting bush.

Words are incompatible with Rafe's trauma-soaked mind. He'll hear whatever it is you have to say—Hell, he might even believe it for a few minutes—but a life of too many broken promises and poorly disguised lies depreciated their value.

Action—that's what Rafe can grasp. For something to click and stick, it must be tangible. You kissed him to express your loyalty in the only way he understands.

And to make him shut up. Definitely that, too.

"I should've ignored Sarah when she said a spray bottle was a bad idea."

Your eyes are slow to open, but you jump away from Rafe anyway. As if you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar, or like you betrayed some great conspiracy. Like he burned you.

It may not have a label, but your charged relationship with the Cameron heir is an open secret on Kiladare. Still, you're not too keen on public displays of affection—if anything you subject each other to could even be considered gentle or loving.

Intimate, sure. An attachment, definitely. The jury's still out on the health of such a volatile symbiosis, but such an entanglement is a bitch to bury.

You've tried.

Rafe's jaw clenches, annoyed by the irksome interruption now more than any slight you've perpetrated. "Wheezie, can't you see we're in the middle of something?"

"Something I saw a little too much of," she retorts with an exaggerated gag.

You bite down on your cheeks to keep your laughter at bay. You're in no mood to poke the bear further than he's already stabbed himself.

"Run along, the adults are talking."

Again, Rafe reaches for you. This time, you step out of bounds.

She means well, but the youngest Cameron has a big mouth and a propensity for gossip. She's also a compulsive eavesdropper. Wheezie might butt in and stir the pot far less now than she did a few years ago, but when it comes to Rafe, all bets are off. They may be each other's preferred sibling, bonded by their inability to best Sarah in the rat race for their father's attention and approval, but in their household, it's everyone for themselves.

And she's had her eye on the special edition Animal Crossing Switch console for weeks; she'll throw you both under the bus without a thought. Especially, if it means not waiting 'till Christmas to have it in her tween-age hands.

You throw her a bone, and yourself a lifeline. "What's up, Wheeze?"

She gives her brother a final glare, then turns to face you fully. Her features are twisted with exasperation, an understandable feeling considering who her siblings are and the family she's had the misfortune of being born into.

"Sarah wants to practice the rings. Again. So, hurry up and finish sucking face, adults. We have more important things to do."

Wheezie stomps off before either you or Rafe can get a word in. For her, the conversation ran its course. No need to stick around.

"Can I ask something stupid?" Rafe asks once his sister is out of earshot.

His voice is a bit wobbly, and while you know he'll make you regret it later, but you just can't help yourself: "Don't you always?"

Rafe clears his throat, then rubs his jaw like it might grant him the right words.

"We only... y'know with each other, right? I-I mean, I just figured since you're stuck to me like fucking velcro you're in the same boat. I mean—talk about stage five clinger. And, don't get me wrong, I would've unstuck you, but this," Rafe gestures to what little space remains between you. "—is way more convenient than all the hoops and shit of getting with someone else."

You know what he's actually asking—you've been fluent in "Rafe" since the fourth grade. Just one of the many, many joys of your fathers' life-long bromance.

He wants you to spill your guts before he does. He wants certainty; a safety net of prior knowledge.

—Rafe wants power.

"Totally," you drawl, humoring him with half the effort you normally would. Rafe squirms under your knowing gaze. "All for convenience, babe."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Don't I always?" you counter through a smirk that makes Rafe feel as though he's staring into a splintered funhouse mirror.

Rafe watches you slip back into the chapel, wishing that he said more... wishing he'd said less. He follows your figure down the hallway until the metal door shuts with a rancorous thud.

When he shuts his eyes—a lukewarm attempt to calm his racing heart in the relentless summer sun—all Rafe can think about is your parting wink.

And the God-awful churn of emotion it triggered.

────────────

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#*ೃ༄ by holy-pucks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron concepts #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #obx fanfiction #obx fic #outer banks #rafe cameron x kook!reader #kook!reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey

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