#Is this just me being autistic

[littleaxoltotlisabouttokill]

is girlflux trans?? It's not right? Cause I said I was genderqueer once (easier than explaining girlflux) and then someone said "this trans person" it makes sense in the context I swear

Anyway.like I'm not right? cause I'm still a girl but umbrella terms confuse me

#transgender #girlflux #genderqueer #Umbrella terms #Is this just me being autistic #Or was that person wrong and I should just say girlflux to not be called trans #Cause it feels wrong to be called trans #I'm like essentially cis idk

[komodocloud]

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

#vent post #actually autistic #autism #is it just me #i don't understand what the problem is #am i just weird #neurodivergent #being autistic

[linktoo-doodles]

i'll strangle you or i'll kiss you on the mouth

#laius thorden #laios touden #kabru #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #my art #Linktoo art #labru #narrative foil yaoi my weakness.... anyway #the way he grabs that guy and begs him to stay and begs like please LISTEN to me #its so funny how kabru‚ someone who prides himself with understanding people and their motivations #just can't handle having some random guy like laius with a big prophecy on his head remain a mystery to him #the way laius just entirely evades him it drives him crazy. kabru puts motivations and assumptions in his mouth in any attempt to Know him #hes so scared of this man yet simultaneously drawn by being unable to discern his thought process #meanwhile #laius is just autistic

[cryptcatz]

question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.

but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?

EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!

also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts

#i know im asking The Autism Website but lol will tag autism stuff cuz i think my confusion is related. idk #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic community #autistic problems #autistic life #autism problems #neurodivergence #neurodiversesquad #personal #btw i do wanna note that this post is abt an abusive person tho #not everyone who does this is abusive! but in my specific case yes #just a warning cuz some stuff being said to me can be a lil uncomfy when saying i should forgive them #i HAVE. MANY times. too many #the anger post #< if you wanna hear more of my thoughts on this #and others thoughts

[deecotan]

anyway here's wavewave

#transformers #transformers g1 #wavewave #shockwave #soundwave #deeco art #idk why this pairing tickles my brain so much #the idea of two of the decepticons' loyalest members who at first glance seem to be the same type of quiet logical no-nonsense type #but when you really look at them you start to see their differences and how they actually work well together #but also like design-wise. romance between two robots with no visible 'face' is so sexy RAAAAAGGHHH #anyway i enjoy wavewaves dynamic in any continuity #but my personal make-believe (delusional) favorite dynamic is where shocky is just an Evil Science Nerd and soundy is her sexy goth gf #Me and the Bad Bitch I Pulled by Being Autistic kind of stuff basically

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr' #but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic' #and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience' #relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr: #if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!! #if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

[existennialmemes]

Reminders for Autistic "Awareness" Month

Beware the Autistics. We live among you. We look like you. We could be your friends, your family, your neighbors, your coworkers. We could even be you.

The Average Autistic is 18 feet tall, has purple skin, and has 2 watt lasers for eyes, however many of us may mask our appearance with Occult Rituals

The Big Light is Bad!! Turn off The Big Light!!! Except for when it's Good. Turn on the Big Light!!

We are not Moths. I don't know who told you that but they're lying.

#actually autistic #autism memes #autism acceptance #autism acceptence month #being aware of me is not enough #i need you to actually respect me #also just to be clear #autism is red because that's the color we chose for ourselves #awareness is in blue because that's the color that was projected onto us #by people who don't want us to exist

[inbarfink]

So let’s go through this one-by-one, shall we?

Red Guy

Flat affect in voice, not very expressive 

Or from the perspective of other Red Guy, he is far too expressive and tend to smile at inappropriate situations

Express emotions either ‘too little’ or ‘too much’ in terms of volume, very little in-between

Speaks very bluntly 

Feels physically uncomfortable with bright colors

"Well, this isn't that fun, is it? can't make out where I am in the room like this. What if I'm standing in an embarrassing area?" "I actually don't mind it. Kind of a nice break from all of those... garish colors"

Duck

Loves cataloging and organizing things as a recreational activity

Anthropomorphise inanimate objects (like ACTUALLY inanimate, not teachers)

"You have to jab it hard or it won't respect your choices!"

Has a hard time fitting in in ‘normative’ social groups

Odd sensory sensitivities

"You're supposed to say that the floor is too loud or the window is disrespecting you"

Yellow Guy

Relies on a heavy amount of social mimicry in unfamiliar social situations

"I'm making bits and parts, although sometimes I feel a bit like the bits and parts are, eh, making me."

Tends to understand metaphors and turns of phrases very literally

Which is actually a trait that he displays even in his hyper-intelligent ‘Charged’ mode

"Oh there he is, it's about time." "Yeah, what have you been doing?" "Um, okay, let me see... We were learning about electricity... I completed a crossword puzzle..."

Who is also very sensitive to sounds when two or more people are speaking at once

He also seems to have ‘clumsy’ motor functions in both ‘forms’

In conclusion:

#dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #don't hug me #i'm scared #dont hug me im scared #dhmis tv series #dhmis tv show #dhmis analysis #dhmis yellow guy #yellow guy don't hug me i'm scared #yellow guy dhmis #red guy dont hug me im scared #red guy dhmis #red guy #dhmis duck #duck dhmis #being 'fully-charged' and operating correctly just made Yellow Guy MORE autistic lol #anyways gonna write a callout post for Lesley for contrascting her Puppety Purgetory entirely out of overstimulating felt textures #actually autistic

[beebfreeb]

#beebfreeb art tag #ms paint #lethal company #lethal company nutcracker #there is just enough worldbuilding and lore to make me crazy and yet so little of it that I can just tell lies to myself #Anyway me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic #nutcracker #lethal company fanart

[homolobotomized]

kabru going thru the labors of hercules (and dying more than any other named character) specifically because he wanted to listen to laios infodump ab his special interest is making me crazy like what do you MEAN..........

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #kabru #laios #labru #shut up homo #dungeon meshi spoilers #i knew before i started the series thayt he wanted to be friends #but i was living under the assumption that it was like. after encountering him in the dungeon #and not that he'd do what he hated most to get to know laios #like im not crazy for feeling crazy right #also also also #laios saying shuros about the only person who'd call him a friend #and shuro in reality 'not being able to stand' laios #vs kabru doing All That just to be friends with laios #i am rattling the bars of my cage #me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic #or whatever

[fumifooms]

Kaka compilation

Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!

Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).

In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.

#The twins are so autistic swag #A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing #They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me #I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing #LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u #I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight #But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out #Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too #Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kaka floke #Kaka #Kiki and kaka #floke twins #As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era #ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME #KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE #KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD #Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman

[planefood]

#funnies #my first instinct when someone makes eye contact with me is to smile and its a little odd #i had to draw tandy with a mouth for this never do it #i really have to preface this comic isn't about me being cheeky im just really autistic

[black-rose-writings]

My mom, after spending an extended weekend with my dad's old college classmates and their families: It's so weird that all of these very weird, intelligent and structured men who got their masters in engineering in the late 1980s have sons that are all autistic and daughters who all have mood disorders.

Me: Yeah, very weird. Why could that be?

#autism #depression #something tells me the daughters are also autistic #I mean I know I am #our brothers just got diagnosed in elementary school and got help and accomodations #while we were labeled gifted and got no help at all #just more responsibilities and pressure #until we burned out at the ripe old age of 16 #and were now feeling as failures and disappointments to our parents on top of everything else #while also being the first generation to grow up with social media #idk that may just be me

[loverboybreakdowns]

ppl will say “i hate being seen with you in public because you stand funny and wear your headphones all the time and talk too loud” and then get all defensive when you say thats ableist

#ppl being my sister #like explain to me again how thinking my visible autistic traits are inherently embarrassing is not ableist? #she also said that autistic people in general are annoying #again while getting upset when i said that was ableist #i even word it really carefully so she cant accuse me of saying that she is ableist #but no the girl is just aggressively against admitting she has any kind of bias at all ever #autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #adhd #autism/adhd #actuallyautistic #actually adhd #neurodivergence #autistic experiences #tw ableism

[rotteneldritchhorror]

One of my favourite things about being disabled is the excitement and happiness when you can do small things that others might find easy

It’s such simple joy to be able to make yourself a cup of tea for the first time (or the first time in a while!) or to just make a simple meal that you couldn’t before! Finally figuring out how to make something that doesn’t overwhelm you, etc etc

It’s a joy in the mundane that ableds need to learn from sometimes /lh

#I just made myself a cup of tea for the first time in a while and I’m proud of myself #even though it didn’t taste good and had to have someone else fix it for me #am still very proud of myself #disabled #disabilties #disability #physical disability #mental disability #autist #being autistic #autistic experiences #autistic #all the autism tags cause my experience is due to my autism #actually autistic #autistic spectrum #autism #autistic adult #autistic culture