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#If you have other options it is more than welcome.
viperwhispered · 2 days
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New fic idea: Jamil VS the ex
Context: Jamil and s/o have been dating for while. Things are going great and everyone is just happy. There are no real jealousy issues on either side cause they trust each other and Jamil is confident he's the best catch around. If there is any jealousy, they talk it out like mature human beings since being petty doesn't solve anything. Though there is defintley possessiveness, it never leaves the bedroom and they both enjoy it.
Introducing the ex: just a complete toxic dump. As in, shitty romance novels stereotypical male lead toxic dump. Just controlling, verbally/emotionally abusive, physically intimidates people, tries to use sex to fix things, doesn't know when to leave their exes alone, gets physical with love rivals, etc. For reference feel free to look at Christian Grey from 50 Shades, Hardin Scott from After, and Edward Cullen from Twilight. Honestly it didn't last more than a week yet the ex continued to stalk our poor reader and ruin any attempt at a finding a new lover.
Cue them getting to NRC and finally having a chance at a relationship with our boy Jamil. But unfortunately all good things must come to an end when reader invites Jamil home to meet their family. Let's say that if the reader is not from TWST then they have a way to dimension travel and the family is in on it.
Jamil is quickly welcomed into the family and they make it clear that he's the best boyfriend the reader has had so far. The reader and their family are quick to warn Jamil about the ex and the sabotages. He learns the details from his albi's angry rants about all the bullshit this guy did.
At one point the reader turns to him and goes: "you have my permission to be as much of a possessive scheming bastard as you want. Ruin his reputation, frame him, humiliate him, I don't care! He's messed with my life far too much for me to care about him anymore. If we run into him, feel free to shove it in his face that I am yours. Hold me, kiss me, leave hickies, whatever! I trust you to know my boundaries and when to do it. Hell, if you manage to get rid of him, then we might as well skip the formalities and go straight to the alter."
Cue Jamil plotting:
1. Get the ego boost from going PDA in front of your lover’s ex. Note: make sure beloved is wearing his hoodie/jersey for maximum boost.
2. Get rid of the abusive ex who's been harming his beloved for YEARS.
3. Plan the wedding.
Meanwhile, the reader is just enjoying the extra affection while munching popcorn as their dear boyfriend gets rid of the biggest nuisance in their life. Yes they get turned on by it, especially the smirk. They're planning to thoroughly spoil him when this is over, both in and out of the bedroom.
Bonus: in your professional opinion, what route would Jamil take to get rid of the ex and how sadistic does he get?
Hasdkföjask yes just let Jamil loose on the problem and enjoy the fireworks.
Also hasdfads in my professional opinion, huh? I feel honored. 🥺👉👈
Oop this got long so below the cut it goes.
(Also boy am I glad the ex did not get to do too much lasting damage to reader’s ability to have a healthy relationship. Jamil already has enough baggage for both of them to go through. Still, someone get a restraining order on that ex, stat.)
“Yes they get turned on by it, especially the smirk.” Just… too true. Man’s just way too hot when he’s all confident and cocky I swear.
Also ngl this brand of possessive I can definitely get behind.
Also I love that tasklist, just not sure which one I love more, the note to task 1 or just the entirety of task 3. Tho of course, Jamil being Jamil (and I may or may not be projecting here) I’m sure there’d be plenty of subtasks / -steps to each of these.
(Also sidenote yes Jamil definitely would know how to turn up the charm for the in-laws for extra approval points. What a charming well-behaved young man, just delightful 😇)
Now, the options coming to my mind are:
Something “private”: only the ex (and reader) needs to know what happened exactly, but it’s enough to spook the ex and keep him in line. (I mean, getting snake whispered? Should be pretty scary, especially depending on what Jamil does with it. Oh boy, the potential.)
Something public: ruin this guy’s image, future prospects, credit score, everything, make everyone see him for the cretin he is. Might cause backlash depending on just how concerning this guy is, but also long-lasting consequences.
Ignore the gnat, just rub things in his face by just being super sweet and loveydovey wherever he happens to be without ever directly confronting him because he’s not worth the effort (not too likely, Jamil’s definitely way too petty (or incensed) to just leave it at that).
Now, getting information on people may be Azul’s specialty, but I’m sure Jamil won’t have too much trouble finding out enough (like where the ex works, lives, stuff like that. If this is a different world (or even just different country), I’m sure reader can help him with the details of what is possible and all).
And by the sounds of things, this particular jerkwad is bound to turn up anyway. So maybe it’s just a case of waiting and being ready, setting up the favorable circumstances.
So Jamil and s/o would be going out and about. Maybe to the shops, maybe just a walk outside, whatever they know is likely to land them on the ex’s path.
The thing about the hoodie is that it’s not necessarily obvious (to the ex) that it belongs to Jamil, rather than you. So he’d probably go for the jersey (since that name obviously isn’t yours (at least yet)), or weather permitting he’d only loan out his hoodie to you at an opportune time.
Like, as soon as you two realize the ex is around, you’re all oh, it sure is a little chilly isn’t it, have my hoodie my dear, it’ll keep you warm. Cue makeout session (and definitely no smug glances from Jamil to the ex, no siree. Nothing of the sort when he holds you tighter, pulls you closer, lets his hands trail along your back, into your back pockets or perhaps even under your shirt. Definitely.).
When ex comes over, you’re conveniently in a public place (probably conveniently within sight of cameras, too, so there’d be something on record to go to authorities with, if needed, and for extra consequences).
I’m thinking Jamil might be all “innocent”, at least overtly (and as much as he can hold himself back - he’s used to mingling with the high and mighty and keeping face, but this is more personal) - tho there might be some underhanded barbs with plausible deniability, or just all the casual things about how you’re Jamils and how you’ve been together for however long and how Jamil just met your parents etc. Basically just reminding the ex of what he can’t have.
Tho once Jamil distances himself (and you), from the guy, I could see Jamil going to somewhere more secluded (with or without you, depending on how you agreed in advance). And if and when the ex follows, he gets a very different side of Jamil. Sharp tongue, no holds barred, told in no uncertain terms how pathetic and despicable he is, and to keep away from you, your family, and anyone else who has any connection to you. But especially you.
The only problem I have is thinking of just what he’d do to seal the deal. I mean, probably Jamil would make the guy do something bad / unpleasant with snake whisper. Like, make the dude do something humiliating, film it and leave it on his phone for him to find later? Make him go out into the crowds to make a fool out of himself? (Perhaps in a location with his friends / family / whatever around?) Get him to send some very terrible messages to some folks?
I think I’m a bit too nice to think of just how far Jamil could go, and snake whisper does have its limitations, too. Like to really ruin someone, you need to do something more impactful than just one unfortunate action.
(I mean I suppose maybe he could make the dude kill someone and go to prison for that but yeah let’s not.) Robbery, tho? I’m sure there’s some sort of a crime we can squeeze out of the guy that would not be too bad for bystanders (not that Jamil would be that bothered, tbh) but would still be enough of a consequence, and which could still be achieved with snake whisper.
That, or just make the guy walk into a cesspit or something, especially if it’s right before something important.
I’m kinda just spitting this out (and brain’s a bit fried) but also this was such a juicy concept I had to jump on it.
Honestly I feel like there’d be so much more to be said just for the PDA part and the possessiveness and protectiveness Jamil would feel and everything else, and maybe I’ll get back to that another time.
Did you have any particular thoughts of how you think it might go?
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hiso03 · 1 month
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Justice League dog version
It's just me again, rambling about what breed the league members would be if they were dogs.
(I hope to later add other DC characters and other members of the league. For example: Dinah and Ollie, or even Wally)
Bruce Wayne: Doberman
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Bruce would definitely be a doberman. This breed of dog is characterized by being very territorial and at first glance they tend to be quite scary or give a warning of danger to others, but it is known that they are very hard-working and brave dogs, and they are also usually quite docile with their masters and do not hesitate. to defend them if the situation requires it.
Clark Kent: Labrador retriever
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For Clark, I first thought about using the breed that inspired (according to what I know) to make Kripto, however, it seemed more appropriate to use a labrador retriever since I think it fits more with Clark's personality. It is a very playful, loyal and sociable dog, which has no difficulty living with children, strangers and other animals. Sounds like Clark to me.
Diana: Spaniel enano
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It was much more difficult for me to choose a breed for Diana, since I wanted a strong, but loyal and intelligent dog; So that led me to think of two options. One was a Belgian Laekenois and the other is a Miniature Spaniel. The first race is known to be very protective of their people and property, and are quite good with children, while the second (the one I chose) is a very intelligent, elegant, friendly race and are known to be a perfect to alert when they perceive any strange noise
Barry Allen: Golden retriever
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Barry was definitely the easiest to choose. He is a golden retriever. Since they are considered one of the most intelligent breeds, they are very kind and calm, in addition to being really good at taking care of children. But what stands out most about them are their incredible tracking skills and that reminds me a little of being a police officer. In addition, these dogs are very popular, since they tend to be very effective therapy dogs.
Extra point because he's blonde.
Hal Jordan: Husky Siberiano
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Hal was the most difficult of all because it is not easy to find a dog that shares several characteristics with him. I chose a Husky, because in my experience they are animals that, although they can live with other dogs, are usually very jealous, since they like to have attention on them. Despite this, they are very pleasant dogs to live with and tend to socialize easily although sometimes they can be somewhat dramatic and quite disobedient, but that is part of their charm. Not to mention how noisy they are.
Arthur Curry: Portuguese water dog
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I think Arthur could be a Portuguese water dog, since these are very independent, friendly dogs that can get along well with other dogs and even cats, in addition to that, they are quite intelligent dogs, but above all agile and active. They are incredible swimmers and it was believed that these dogs help sailors fish.
J'onn J'onzz: Bloodhound
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I think that these dogs, along with the Saint Bernards, are one of my favorite breeds, since they tend to be extremely calm and peaceful dogs, they are not dogs that make a lot of noise and they usually adapt well to any other living being they live with. They are loyal and affectionate dogs, but they are not territorial, despite that, they have their little heart and BloodHounds do not tolerate loneliness well. For me this breed is the one that best fits J'onn, although I also thought of a Saint Bernard.
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aarafox · 1 year
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Sometimes you’re struck with this urge to rewatch Voltron but then it’s just like nooo but they butchered the ending and you’re like ok maybe then I can only rewatch the first few seasons bc they were REALLY good but then you get like nooo but knowing how it ends truly ruins the experience of the first few seasons bc you’re reminded of how good it COULD and SHOULD have been but it didn’t end up like that bc ✨toxic execs✨ and then you’ll be like ok maybe I can just Give It One More Try Just Because but then right away you’re once more like nooo but it’ll just never be that good again bc you once had this hope that it’d turn out amazing and then it turned out Like That and it just ruined the entire experience forever and then you’re just like ok maybe I won’t
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pierisim · 3 months
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Hello hello! 😄
Welcome to Stefan's kitchen! 
This set is a little bit particular because you can combine two kitchens with half corner counter and cabinet pieces. They work like basic surface, i mean you won't be able to place appliances on top of the half corner pieces, but they blend seamlessly with the other part of the kitchen! Then, as you may have seen, this set includes two similar but different kitchen sets, that can be used in various styles! They also have the same swatches to help you combine them!
I have finally added a microwave to have more options than the few we have in game. 
The sink has been thought as a built-in through the counter top, and it has the swatches matching the counter tops for each tape swatch.
I've also added this lovely table and this classical chair for the dining area! 
This set also includes two new flooring, one herringbone parquet and one tiled! 
I hope you will have fun playing with those kitchens 😍
You can find the items by searching for STEFAN or Pierisim in game.
Some items share the same textures so make sure to have the packages finishing by "texture" in your mod folder :)
All base game compatible.
unmerged and merged version available.
public release : 03/03/2024
DOWNLOAD
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ew-selfish-art · 7 months
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DpxDc AU: What’s an adoption paper or two between bros?
Danny is starting to realize that since Jazz left the house for university, his parents aren’t really good at well, being his parents. They’re obsessed with his alter ego to the point that they ignore his normal ego, and that uh, hurts his feelings. Like, a lot. Meal times have gotten weirder and more inconsistent, and he’s starting to wonder if they suspect what’s really going on with him.
They’ve started to say “You know you can tell us anything” these days when he sees them outside their lab (which isn’t frequent) but the normal amount of ghost hate speech hasn’t changed. If anything it’s gotten worse. Just like everything else.
Danny joined the whole-ass justice league to fill his spare time after high school and his parents are literally none the wiser. Like, he's a part time high-school senior at 17 and a full time international hero. His parents only comment on the fact that the menace Phantom is costing them a lot in airline tickets as they try and apprehend him all over the world. Hell, they caught Ellie for a second when he was in Morrocco and it got ugly fast. She's a junior member now but mostly spends her time with some doofus that has a magic traveling house.
And really, he's fine with his schedule of going to school, going ghost and making a difference, and then returning to a dramatically silent house. Really.
Then one day his new friend and co-team lead Red Robin makes a brief mention about his own childhood of neglect and Danny makes a joke, "What, no adoption papers for the homies?"
He laughs as he says it but something in his leader's eyes looks sharp, and Kon is sighing in the background something that sounds suspiciously like dear Rao you've done it now.
Next time Danny is on the Watchtower, he's brought into a meeting with Red Robin, Batman and various other JL team leaders.
"Adoption papers are very much for the homies. I've also included the option of emancipation, as you'll see in the green folder, but I am one hundred percent serious about adopting you."
"Red, you're like, 3 months younger than me." Danny deadpans.
"Adoption is for the homies and I'm emancipated. And If i'm reading Batman correctly, you're facing three outcomes right now."
"Three?"
"One: I adopt you and you become my legal dependent. Two: Batman adopts you and I become your legal brother. or Three: You emancipate yourself while allowing us to provide for you while your housing situation is sorted out."
"... Uh. Door one?" Danny is having too many feelings. Why does batman look disappointed? What is Jazz going to say? What on earth???
"Welcome to the Drake Family." Red shakes his hand up and down, the grin on his face feral and the plan towards being emancipated from the Fentons and adopted by his boss is a weird one.
But eventually, a few weeks later, he's had a pretty delicious dinner by his new adoptive grandfather-tler and is watching a movie with Tim and Kon on the couch and he's just so happy and comfortable and warm...
"Will this make Kon my dad if you two get married?" Danny laughs and it's the closest he gets to being disowned.
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daftpatience · 8 months
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YEAH YEAY OKAY! here we go! welcome to i get to infodump about pens again, yay yippee!
what's the difference between ballpoints, rollerballs, and gel pens?
ballpoints, rollerballs, and gel pens all use a ball-socket mechanism that continuously coats itsself in ink as it rolls across a page. what makes them all different from each other is in the ink composition!!
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ballpoint pens have an oil based ink paste. the ink is very thick & requires more pressure to write with, and can get kinda skippy as the tip gets dirty or clogged, but is able to stick to many more surfaces like receipts, plastic, really shitty paper, etc. it can be hard to wash out of things that you get it on, since it's more waterproof than other inks.
one of the neat things about this type of ink is that you're able to shade with it by varying pressure. lots of artists make great use of this!
hybrid or low viscosity ballpoint ink is often just ballpoint ink with an added lubricant to make it write smoother and flow better.
rollerball pens use water based inks. fountain pens, felt tip pens*, and dip pens all usually use water based inks. because of this, rollerballs are very free flowing and rarely clog, but paper choice is more important and some folks can find them to be leaky or overly wet. the writing experience is not as glidey as a gel/ballpoint since the ink is not thick, but it doesn't need a heavy hand. rollerballs enjoy more colour options than ballpoints and can have very dark blacks, but aren't waterproof unless the ink is pigment based instead of dye based. *felt tip pens feel very different than any of the other pens on this list cause of the soft point, they put out ink in a very even and somewhat dry way, and can also use alcohol inks, like copic markers. alcohol inks soak very deep into the page and dry very fast, and blend very differently. i'm not as familiar with them!
gel pens use inks that are made of pigment suspended in a water based gel. these inks tend to be very thick and put out a wet line that takes a longer time to dry. gel pens are most likely to clog and skip due to this, since the ball is not as evenly coated in a substance so thick. gel pens do have the widest colour options and can be fully opaque (ie. pastels, whites, etc) but are often very frustrating as they clog up and get old and dried out.
as a bonus, true technical pens are a whole different kind of beast and have very specific standardized nib sizes and colours. cad software has largely replaced the need for extremely precise technical drawing, but artists still like pens like the rapidograph! they're made differently everywhere but generally, instead of a ball, there is a small tube of a precise diameter with a little wire inside it that controls the ink flow. they can't be held at a lot of angles and aren't as versatile as other pens, but they put down incredibly crisp lines.
yippee yay pens!! wahoo!!
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qqueenofhades · 6 months
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i registered to vote for the first time ( i feel old) now that im an adult but my state has closed primary elections which i was wondering if you have an opinion about. my initial thought was that its bad because i had to register democrat (rather than my states green party which represents my beliefs more) just so i could vote between democrat candidates, which feels like being pressured into supporting the weird pseudo two party system we have. but then i looked it up and apparently a reason for this is so that people from opposing parties wont purposefully mess up the votes just so that their preferred candidates have an easier time winning, and i think that makes sense too. but is that actually the reason theyve closed it or is it just to force us dem/republican?? cause it feels strange
Okay, look. I respect the fact that you're a young person, and I appreciate that you have not only registered to vote, but plan to vote in the primaries, so I don't want to lecture you too much. That said: I am taking you out for coffee, I am sitting you down, I am looking into your eyes, and I am urgently telling you the following:
The Green Party is a scam. It is a scam. It has existed for decades in American politics as an empty shell corporation weaponizing the good intentions of young people like yourself, because all it theoretically stands for "it's good to save the planet maybe." Which is not something that any non-insane person seriously disagrees with, but there is no world in which that cause is actually furthered by registering/voting Green (you mentioned that you did vote for Democrats, which -- good, but listen to me here, youngun, okay?) It ran Jill Stein in 2016 to siphon more votes from HRC, and this election it plans to run Cornel West, a pro-Russian tankie who positively equated Bernie and Trump, as another spoiler candidate. It does not stand for "protecting the planet" or America in any real way. It has never elected a single senator or congressman, let alone a president. It stands for empty performance/grievance political theater by those people who feel too morally superior to vote for/affiliate with Democrats, often because the internet has told them that it's not Cool or Hip or Progressive enough.
If your main priority is climate/the environment, you're doing the right thing by registering as a Democrat and voting for Democrats. (Also: the adjectival form is Democratic. It is the Democratic party and Democratic candidates, otherwise you sound like the Fox News host who wrote a book literally entitled "The Democrat Party Hates America.") They are the only major party who has in fact passed major climate legislation and have made environmental justice a central tenet of their platform. As opposed to the Republicans, whose Project 2025, along with the rest of its nightmare fascist prescriptions, openly pledges to completely wreck existing climate protections and forbid any new ones, just because we weren't all dying fast enough under their death-cult rule already. That's the main logical fallacy I don't get among both the Online Leftists and the American electorate in general: "the Democrats aren't doing quite enough as I'd like, so I'll enable the active wrecking ball insane lunatics to get in power and ruin even the progress we HAVE managed to make!" Like. How does that even make sense?
On a federal level, the Greens have contributed nothing whatsoever of tangible value to American or international climate policy/legislation, environmental justice, or anything else, because as noted, they don't have any elected candidates and mostly focus on drawing voters away from Democrats. There might be plenty of good candidates on the local or city level, which -- great! Vote away for Greens if they're available, or the only other option is a Republican! But on the federal/primary level, please understand: once again, they are a scam. There is no point in affiliating yourself with them. You're welcome to register Green and vote Democratic, if that makes you feel better or if you prefer having another label next to your name, but once again, I'm telling you in my position as a salty Tumblr elder that they have done nothing but harm to the causes they claim to care about, because "environment" is such a nebulous priority and has demonstrably been hijacked to stop the American government entity, i.e. the Democrats, that is actually working to improve on it.
As for your question: nobody is "forcing" or "pressuring" you to vote in primaries. By your own admission, you made a conscious choice to register as a Democrat in order to vote for Democratic candidates. If you were just a regular registered voter of whatever party affiliation, you would vote in the general election for whatever candidate the primary process produced. But if you are sufficiently vested and committed to that process that you would like to have a say in who is running under that party label, it is not unreasonable that you would register as a member of that party. Nobody has twisted your arm behind your back and made you do so; you are taking a considerable level of initiative on your own. Likewise, open primaries can be both a good and bad thing. This falls under the "the political system we have is flawed, but we can't magically pretend it doesn't exist and act according to our own fantasyland versions of reality" thing that I keep saying over and over. So yes, if you want a role in shaping the Democratic candidates who emerge from a Democratic primary process, you will usually register as a Democrat, and nobody has forced you to do that. It's that simple.
Likewise as a general programming note: I'm trying to cut back on politics a bit right now, because I don't have the spoons/bandwidth/mental health to deal with it. I apologize. So if you've sent me a politics-related ask recently and haven't received a response, I'm not deliberately or maliciously ignoring you; I just am not able to handle it as much as usual and will have to put it on pause. However, I feel as if this is important enough to be worth saying, so, yeah.
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soulren · 10 months
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Go spend some time on male pattern baldness or male(AMAB) balding forums/subreddits and such. I did after realizing it is happening to me and the ammount of people who truly don't realize how BRUTALLY it tanks people's confidence and mental health is insane.
There's no cure to baldness by the way, and it can start at any time and there's no way to predict how fast or slow it will go. The only real working option is a daily pill that usually just halts it, but it can stop working or just slow it down or cause major side effects. To regrow you have to use a daily topical solution, or use a roller to wound your scalp. None of these are surefire by the way, and if you stop them you'll just lose your hair and whatever you regained. It's a daily involved thing that might not work and often at best just retains. The best drug, the one that occasionaly gives regrowth, also causes shedding at the start, and can have side effects from growing breasts to brain fog to EDsyfunction(sorry, censoring cause tumblr). Now, those are INCREDIBLY rare and almost never happen but it weighs heavily on the mind of those already spiraling.
But that's just background. What I'm here to talk about is the pure woe you'll see on those forums. People speak as though their lives are over, as though they've lost every chance of finding a woman(predominantly, there's a running idea in such places that women don't like bald men or like them less) or doing anything. You can read countless stories of people who describe that they no longer go outside, are now filled with anxiety and self-hate, have gone from extroverted to never showing their face. And some of these people are kids who lost their hair in high school or even before, or are holding as best they can to a very receded hairline and feel like there is nothing they can do.
And then there's something touched upon far less in those communities, but is important to bring up here; baldness and masculinity. There's the horror of knowing so much of society sees a bald guy as a very masculine guy, at seeing that the best advice for being hot and bald is "grow and beard and big muscles bro". Imagine now you're AMAB balding and nonbinary, or a trans woman who doesn't want to be on hormones.
Just genuinely take the time to look at those forums no matter who you are. Understand what these people go through, what I am currently going through. It is soul-crushing, spiraling, brutal. I have the dream of one day being like Brennan Lee Mulligan or Matt Mercer and starting to lose my hair made me feel like I could never. I felt like and still feel like I would have to be masculine, have to be a bro-y dude, have to look older than I was(I'm fuckin 22). It was the feeling that I could never dress feminine again, never present as a woman when I wanted to again, that I'd always be viewed as a bald guy before anything else.
This is an incredibly vulnerable post for me, and I hope it reaches you all as well in a kind and understanding mood. There's a tendency online for people to joke about baldness, to make fun of it, to treat it as a playfull silly thing but it fucking ruins lives, and it shouldn't. It happens to half the population's sort of bodies and very often. It should just be a neutral thing. You don't need long hair to be feminine, you don't need hair to be feminine. You don't need hair for anything. I guess I'm just saying in general that everyone should be kinder about balding, more understanding, and view it with as much import as they'd view the pixels between this sentence and the next. None at all, I mean.
And for those like me, very feminine guys who wanna keep that and don't want a beard and are terrified of balding, here's some names and I do hope others that see this will add more; Mr. Bruce (also in The Correspondents(band) Alex Ward in LA By Night Jason Carl in LA By Night Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale Bob The Drag Queen RuPaul(in looks alone, I know about the whole fracking stuff but this post is about looks) tananasho on instagram Also your mannerisms and style of dress will convey femininity far more than your hair. Yea sure a front-on neutral shot of you may not and maybe you need makeup and stuff, and hell maybe a lot of people might reject you more but it'll just filter down to the people for you.
And to all you artists and writers and creatives; make more bald characters. Try it out. Feminine ones, masculine ones, all sorts. None of the copout nonhuman sort, just dudes and girls and mates and individuals who are all sorts of things and also bald. It might make a few of the people going through the various vortexes of pain that balding causes feel a bit better.
And to those noticing I did not adress female hair loss much here, that was intentional. I am AMAB and currently a nonbinary guy who goes by any pronouns but often likes to present as fem. I learned I was possibly losing my hair and lost two months of my life, no work or going or anything, to male hair loss forums and research and spiraling. Checking my hair twenty times a day, unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to think. And my situation was NOT unique, but it also did not give me any experience or understanding of female hair loss and what AFAB people may go through with that, so I don't feel knowledgeable enough to speak on it. Also living with baldness WILL get easier and you will find something that works for it, by virtue of simply living with it. Things get easier with time.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 10 months
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You... Cheater? - Demon Brothers
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SUMMARY: They saw you making out with some random demon. But only after talking to you will they find out that it wasn't you after all. It was a demon impersonating you. But how did they feel before realizing this and how did they react to the relief that it wasn't really you they saw?
(This takes place before the events of Nightbringer.)
CHARACTERS: Demon Brothers (Lucifer; Mammon; Leviathan; Satan; Asmodeus; Beelzebub & Belphegor)
TAGS: Fluf; GN Reader; Comfort; Kiss, Tears, a little Angst (I think)
WORD COUNT: An average of 470 words per character.
👉 You… Cheater? - Side Characters
COMMENTS: I was looking for prompts and saw something like “cheating” or “How would they react to being cheated on?” But I don't like cheaters, this would be to sad. However, they thinking they were cheated on, but in fact they were deceived and you comfort them, that looked like a better option to me.
I hope you enjoy ;)
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CONTEXT: He was walking the streets of Devildom, maybe out shopping for dinner. And he saw you! Or at least someone he thought was you. The appearance was exactly like yours! And you were making out with some random lower demon, that was unmistakable. That he could see clearly without a doubt.
This takes place before the events of Nightbringer.
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Lucifer decided to walk up to “you” and have a conversation with “you” right there. But when “you” and the other demon saw him, both ran away. He didn't follow them. He stopped right there and it only took a few seconds for him to realize that something was wrong. That couldn't be you. It does not make sense. You wouldn't cheat on him. Who would?
Part of him doesn't believe it was you because he knows you and your character. But the other part that doesn't believe it was you is his Pride. Cheat on Lucifer? With someone like Diavolo he could understand, but a lower demon? No, that wasn't you, you're not that stupid! However, he can't help but have a very small fear that it really was you. But that one is irrational, it can't be right.
He asks you to go talk to him in his office and, of course, you have no idea what he saw. So, you don't know what he wants to talk to you about.
“Where were you while I was away?” is the first thing he asks after telling you that you can come in. You are confused, but the truth is, you've been playing with Levi in his room. Then some of the other brothers also showed up to play, so you have a lot of alibis.
“Did Solomon ever teach you how to duplicate yourself?” If you respond with "Is that possible?!" and an obvious face of surprise, he will burst out laughing. “I wouldn't be surprised if it was.” he continues and tells you about what he saw on the street.
Your reaction tells him everything he needs to know and confirms his suspicions. “Don't worry, I knew it wasn't you. I just wanted to confirm with you.” he lifts your chin and kisses your lips “I would never fall in love with a cheater.”
And then, he hugs you. It starts out like a normal hug, but after his arms are around you, you feel them tighten slightly. As if that little irrational side of him that worried him was showing how relieved he was that it really wasn't you. As if that little irrational part of him, that told him what he'd seen could be real, was showing you how relieved he was wrong.
“I don't know who those demons were.” He says, slowly breaking the hug and looking at you. “Yet.” You see his eyes, a look very similar to the one he usually has when he wants to punish his brothers. But this one was worse. “I will find out who they were. They need to be reminded why they shouldn't deceive us. Of course you are more than welcome to join me, after all they had the audacity to impersonate you.”
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We all know Mammon is the emotional type not the rational one. So... he’s completely desolate, devastated, he’s heart shattered in pieces. It didn't even cross his mind that it might not be you, despite the number of times he said to himself "No, no, no, no, no, no..." He didn't have the courage to face “you”. He even dropped the purchases he made. One of the items he bought was a gift for you. And he run away.
He didn't come home. After all, you were there and seeing you would be too painful. But nobody knew about it. But nobody knew about it. Well, actually he went home, without the groceries and without listening to anyone. He just went straight to his room and left again, but this time on his car. You haven't seen him.
It's when everyone else goes to talk to you about not knowing where he is and being his turn to make dinner that you decide to go to his room and summon him. I mean, you have no idea where he is either. He doesn't respond to your messages. Summoning him will bring him straight to you, straight to home.
He appears and falls on his butt. “OI! WHAT THE-?!” he looks at you. His eyes were reddish and his cheeks wet. You ask what happened, worried. “You... I... You know what happened!” But you don’t. “Yes you do! I saw you! I saw... you two...”
“Us two? You mean Asmo and I? Of course you saw us. You came with us.” You remind him that the three of you went shopping together, but Asmo wanted to buy a new perfume and wanted you to go with him. So Mammon went to buy the rest of the stuff.
He is clearly embarrassed. “W-wait, s-so you were with Asmo the whole time?” Yes, you still even smelled like the perfume he bought. “S-so... you weren't sneaking kissing another demon on the street?” What the heck was he talking about?! Of course not! Does he really thought you would be kissing a random demon on the street when you could be making out with him? Your first?! And you tell him that. He's such a dummy!
He hugs you desperately. And he starts to cry again, but this time with relief. His face on your shoulder, he can't even speak, just sob. As if you just woke him up from a nightmare. You hug him back and kiss him on the forehead.
He really needs some time with you now. He's not really the vindictive type. He just wants you, your love and affection, although it took him a while to admit it. So you two cuddle for a while on his sofa. Until he remembered his car was parked somewhere.
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Levi is also a very emotional person but worse: he is the Avatar of Envy. Just like any other sin can blind you, this one is the worst for what he saw. And even even worse, we know he doesn't have a good self-esteem. Put it all together and he never felt worse in his life. He won't talk to "you", he will run back home and lock himself in his room.
You had agreed that when he arrived you would go to his room to play the new game he had gone out to buy. But he didn't tell you he was back. It was one of the brothers who told you that he had seen him arrive and enter the room.
You go to his room, knock on the door, but he doesn't answer. You try as many times as it takes until he says he wants to be alone and doesn't want to talk to anyone. Messages don't work either. Only when you threaten to break down the door does he let you in.
The lights are off and he's hiding under the covers in the bathtub. You ask what's going on and again he takes a long time to answer you. He’s more the type of avoiding talk and/or see you. Listening to you is painful enough already. Worried, you slowly approach and ask again, in your sweetest voice, what was going on.
“I SAW IT, OK!?” he exploded, without coming out from under the covers, his voice cracking. “I... saw it... I saw you... on the street...” He saw you on the street? Was he talking about seeing you and Satan on the book store? “WHAT? No!” He got up, uncovering himself from the blankets. His eyes were reddish and a few tears were still falling down his cheeks. “I saw you kissing that demon on the street.” he calms down a bit and starts talking about that shouldn't surprise him. Even a lower demon was better than him. Of course he would never be enough for you. Someone like him? Of course not. You deserved better. You would even deserve the crown of Devildom...
Well, you don't remember kissing Satan on the street, so you have no idea what he's talking about. You tell him you went out with Satan to the bookstore and you were with him the whole time until you got back home. Levi could ask him. Whoever he saw wasn't you.
It takes a while for him to process that and realize that who he saw really wasn't you. And for him to throw himself into your arms. He's not afraid to cry in front of you, and on your shoulder. His hug is tight, desperately and lovingly tight.
He tells you again about his fear of losing you, of you leaving him. You end up getting in the bathtub with him. Cuddling with and reassuring him. Saying you would never leave him, how much you love him. He needs you now, he needs to recover from the shock that luckily wasn't real.
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What have those two demons just done? Envy is a very bad sin to be the avatar of in a situation like that. But even worse is Wrath! Satan instantly assumed his demon form, throws the groceries to who knows where, and walked towards the two. They noticed him approach by the heavy and determined steps and fled. He stopped. “You” looked at him with such fear in “your”eyes, it shocked him.
He didn't mean to hurt “you”, he never would! But “you” hurt him. How could this be happening? You weren't like that, you were so kind and lovable... Wait, you're not like this. Something is wrong. And he only realizes this after stopping and calming down a bit. Something he learned from you. No! You wouldn't do this. Something was really wrong and he needed to talk to you now!
As soon as he gets home, he asks the first brother of his he sees if you are there. And after hearing a yes he runs to your room. Ignoring the "Why? What's going on?" after that yes.
He knocks at your door while calling your name. You open the door and he rushes into the room, closing the door behind you and practically "Kabedon" you against the door. “Have you been here the whole time?” he seems to contain some kind of anger. It worries you a little, but at these times you know you need to be the calm person. And yes, you were home that whole time. In fact, you spent a lot of time helping Mammon with his studies. He practically begged for your help to avoid another punishment from Lucifer.
You seemed sincere, but still: “So, you never left the house? Not even to go shopping?” You think for a moment. But no, pretty sure you never left the House of Lamentation. And the hours of study were very long. You both know what a bad student Mammon is.
He sighs, lowers his head for a moment and then drops down to hug you. It is a tender and relieved hug. “I’m sorry.” he whispers in your ear. “I just... wanted to make sure..." you hug him back and finally feel like it's the right time to ask what's going on.
He tells you what he saw on the street. The shock on your face is further proof to him that it wasn't really you he saw. As he thinks about what that could have been, his expression change. The expression of the true Avatar of Wrath.
“The only explanation is that someone impersonated you. I don't know who they were but I'll find out. And I couldn't care less if there were any reason for them to do that. Nobody tarnishes your name! I will find them, and when I do I'll make them regret even the air they breathe today.”
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Asmo doesn't think you are cheating on him. After all he’s the Avatar of Lust, he better than anyone understands the concept of One-night stand. But he can't help but get a sour feeling in his stomach. He used to do one-night stands, but that was before he meet you. After that he couldn't do it anymore, he just wanted you. And he thought you only wanted him. What was happening to him?
He thought of going to you. Ask if he could join. That would look like him, but no, he can't, that's not what he wants to do. It's nothing related to his sin that he wants to do. He felt more like... Levi? Could it be jealousy? Him?! He needed to go home. ASAP!
He does his best to pretend that nothing is wrong, that he just came back from shopping and didn't see anything special. Maybe he'll come up with some story about a purse he saw, just to keep up the facade that everything was fine.
He'll avoid you for awhile, flashing you a smile you knew was fake. It was at dinner time, after he sent a message to the brothers' group saying he didn't feel well and therefore wouldn't have dinner that you decided to go to his room and check on him.
He is reluctant to let you in, but he still wants to show you that everything is fine, so he gives in at the second or third knock. He is sitting on the bed. And not even all the make-up he could put on his face would manage to hide from you the sadness that was really in his eyes. Despite his smile. He tells you not to worry, but it's when you insist that you can tell something is wrong that he decides to tell you the truth.
“I... I wanted to ask you.” he puts back on his everything is fine mask “Who was that new demon friend of yours?” You look confused at him. “I wasn't snooping, I promise. I just ended up seeing you two. You know, even if you try to hide yourself well there is still a possibility that someone will see you making out on the street.” he was forcing a smile, as if wanting to look like he was giving you genuine advice. But you got even more confused. What the heck was he talking about?
“Aww, don't worry hon, I'm not mad. I... think...” he mutters to himself and then goes back to talking to you. “You don't need to hide it from me. I saw it with my own eyes, you know?” you see his eyes water slightly. He's trying so hard not to cry.
But you weren't on that street today. “What?!” he widens his eyes, as if seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You tell him you've been with Lucifer at RAD most of the day, helping him with paperwork. And even when you came home, you came back with him. And that was it. That and you wouldn't making out with a random demon on the streets. You have standards. and they only skyrocketed after you met Asmo.
He believes in you, he always believed in you and you really seemed to be telling the truth. He finally breaks down in tears and jumps out of bed to hug you desperately. He is so happy to know that that wasn't you! But he's still confused about what he felt. He really needs to talk to you about this. But after dinner. His appetite has returned and he is starving.
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Beel doesn't know what to do. Should he pretend he didn't see anything? Should he go talk to you? He was so confused. You're not like this. what was happening? He... shouldn't interrupt, should he? He just grabs the groceries and heads home.
None of the groceries survived the trip. He ate up his feelings along the way. Or at least he tried. Lucifer was about to scold him, until he saw the look on his face and he just decided to let him go to his room and talk later. But the truth is, he would ask you to talk to him. And that's because even Belphie couldn't.
Belphie went to the attic to let you two talk alone in their bedroom. You knocked on the door, but Beel didn't answer. He didn't tell you to come in, but he didn't say you couldn't either. You walk in and see him lying on his bed with his back to you.
You slowly walk up to him and ask what's going on. He still doesn't respond. You sit on the bed and when you touch him, he flinches a little. Ok, now you're really worried. You ask him to please tell you what's going on, in your sweet, understanding voice.
He takes a deep breath and then slowly gets up to sit on the bed beside you. He still can't look at you. He doesn't look upset, just sad and confused. “I saw you on the street.” he calmly explains, with a sadness in the voice that breaks your heart “With that demon.”
What demon? What street? You haven't even left the house today. “What?!” he finally looks at you. He hadn't cried yet, but he was close to it. You tell him you didn't leave the house. You were even in the Planetarium with Belphie while Beel went shopping.
He believes in you, he always did and he never had any reason not to. And the same goes for Belphie. “So it wasn't you I saw on the street kissing another demon?” What? Of course not! What was he talking about?
He doesn't explain, he just smiles hugely and gives you one of his bear hugs. He tells you what he saw while hugging you. He doesn't care what he saw. He doesn't want to know who did it. The only thing that matters is that it wasn't really you. The real you was there, with him, hugging him back and letting him kiss you and kissing him back.
Then you hear his stomach rumble like a beast. His appetite had returned, and with a vengeance.
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What the F*ck was going on?! Did that filthy lower demon make you do that? Were you under some spell? Belphie was going to put an end to it NOW! He assumed his demon form, throws the groceries away and rushed towards “you”. But when “you” two see him, “you” run away. He runs after the two, but unfortunately for him, the demon manages to outrun him.
He comes back home looking for you and without the groceries. When Lucifer sees him and prepares to lecture him for not bringing the groceries, Belphie stops him and asks if you are at home. It’s important! Something might have happened to you. Lucifer says you're in your room and lets Belphie run to your door.
You hear him knocking urgently at your door. You open the door, and seeing the seriousness on his face you ask what happened. He stands still in silence for a moment, looking at you, analysing. Then he comes in and lets you close the door.
“Did you leave the house today?” he asks calmly. You say yes. “Where did you go?” That was weird, he wasn't the stalking type, he was too lazy for that. That and he was never like that, much less with Beel. You went with Beel to a new pastry shop that opened to try their drinks and sweets. Needless to say, you spent a lot of time there. You had to drag Beel back home because it was getting late. You two had only arrived home shortly before Belphie himself.
“You never left his side?” No. Why would you? You love hanging out with Beel. By the way you speak and your confused expression, he knows you're telling the truth. And his straight face instantly turns into a reassured, lazy laugh. “Ha ha ha. I knew that was weird. It wasn't even you.” And now that his good mood was back, you could safely ask what the heck was going on.
“Ummmmm... I'm too tired to tell. At least standing. You know, I saw something that made me worry about you, so I ran back to see if you were all right. I'm so sleepy right now. What if I told you while we cuddle in your bed?” That sly bastard, taking advantage of a subject like that for cuddles.
He tells you what happened while the two of you are in bed. But even though he's relaxed in your arms he doesn't fall asleep. “That was probably some demon impersonating you with some shapeshifting spell.” he says “If they had done that to me, I wouldn't care. But since you were the one they did this to, I'll make sure to find them and break their neck.” he said with a cute smile and already half asleep, which only made the threat worse. And then finally fell asleep in your arms.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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yoonbroom · 9 months
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SEVENTEEN FIC RECS
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a list of seventeen fics I really enjoyed! pls go and show these amazing authors some love <3 also if there wasn't a summary on the fic I just included a little paragraph or the request! now onto the recs ↓
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
HELLO TUTORIAL - @97-liners
oneshot, fluff, college au, frat au
it’s your final year of college, and you’ve been elected president of your sorority. this is all great and fine, but as the semester goes on, you find yourself having repeated run-ins with the president of the fraternity next door in a series of unfortunate coincidences (that might not actually be coincidences, as you come to discover). or: in which you’re trying to deal with your crush on seungcheol in a normal way, but the meddling kids are making it harder than it needs to be.
FRACTURED PARENTING, PT.2 - @berriesandjunnie
oneshot angst, fluff, idol au, separated parents au, enemies to lovers
parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster when you’re far from divorced and the flames are far from dying.
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YOON JEONGHAN
UNTITLED - @userjuyo
drabble, fluff, est relationship
"i just know than jeonghan would tease his s/o a lot, but whenever they went “hannie :(“ he would literally MELT like he’d just be like “okay sweetheart i’m sorry 🥺” and the members would be like ????? BC HE WON’T LET THEM LIVE but it’s his baby so &lt;;3"
UNTITLED - @wqnwoos
drabble, fluff, est relationship
“what if crabs think that fish can fly?” your question is whispered into the darkness of your bedroom — you gazing at the ceiling thoughtfully, while jeonghan curls up beside you.
OF RAINY NIGHTS AND ROSES - @chenfleur
oneshot, angst, fluff, idol au, est relationship
In the heat of the moment, Jeonghan grows careless with his words. Now, he has to bear the weight of saying things he didn't mean.
DAISIES - @viastro
oneshot, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers
the best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. aka, in which jeonghan is in charge of making you fall in love with him, just to break your heart. 
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JOSHUA HONG
BEST FRIENDS BROTHER - @chocosvt
oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, best friends brother
joshua happens to be your best friend’s older brother. he’s pretty, and he’s got a lot of cool details about him that you pay a concerning amount of attention to, but he’s just a friend (if you could even call it that). still, what does he think of you, anyway? that is—if he thinks of you.
IT TAKES TWO - @/berriesandjunnie
oneshot, fluff, idol au, parent au, est relationship
a family is a little scary when your partner has over millions of fans.
UNTITLED - @/wqnwoos
drabble, fluff, est relationship
"it feels like the sky has only just welcomed the sun when joshua tries to get up to leave."
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WEN JUNHUI
HEAVEN COULDN'T WAIT FOR YOU - @/berriesandjunnie
oneshot, angst, idol au
i just couldn’t stand to see you leaving but heaven couldn’t wait for you.
HAPPY ENDING - @junkissed
one shot, angst, fluff, marriage, est relationship
a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time.
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KWON SOONYOUNG
LET ME TRY AGAIN - @papermatisse
oneshot, angst, fluff, exes to lovers, parent au
Soonyoung had never wanted to live a restrained capitalistic life, forced to work a tiresome 9 to 5, paying taxes until the day he dies. Though in exchange to pursue the other option, that being devotion to a career, he had to pay an unfathomably large price—he had to abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved. can he fit himself back into his former life? one that's changed more than he can possibly imagine? could the ones he loved forgive him for his wrongdoings? could he get the second chance he wants so desperately?
(UN)TRADITIONAL - @neonun-au
oneshot, fluff, wedding au, est relationship
"The digital clock on the hotel night stand flashes the next minute as it passes. A re-run of Law & Order: SVU drones on in the background as you sit at the edge of the bed, staring sleeplessly at your wedding dress hanging on the back of the closet door. "
VOWELS AND VERACITY - @hansolmates
oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, teacher au, single parent
after a blind date that makes you feel like a giddy teenager all over again, you’re forced to grow up and take a chance when you realize that special someone is your daughter’s kindergarten teacher.
BE SWEET - @heartkyeom
oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, royalty, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers
“Why are you here?” Your tone is resolute, not allowing for even an inch of resistance. “That’s what we need to talk about. We’re getting married,” He lifts the corner of his mouth. You let out a laugh that is nowhere near polite, in fact, you’re nearly cackling at the prospect of this idea. It’s simply so outlandish, so fantastical that every time you look at his face it seems more unfathomable.
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JEON WONWOO
FOR THE BOOKS - @trblsvt
oneshot, fluff, teacher au, est relationship
wonwoo's students seemed intent on matching him up with a fellow teacher. he didn't really want to stop them, it was too funny for him to break up their fun. plus, he didn't mind the certain someone he was being "set up" with.
HOW TO FALL - @because-of-a-friend
oneshot, fluff, angst, idol au
"hi!! <3 i love ur acc and i was wondering if you'd be able to write an imagine where you're besties with joshua and he invites you to meet the rest of seventeen for the first time and you instantly fall for wonwoo? maybe some angst but overall fluff? thank you!! no rush!! i love your work!!!"
UNTITLED - @/97-liners
oneshot, fluff, royalty au, friends to lovers, childhood friends
"a royalty au where you’re the heir to the throne and wonwoo is your shy (and lowkey bumbling) royal advisor…. he’s smart and always has his head stuck in a book but he’s also painfully awkward and clueless to how deeply in love with him you are. until your parents decide it’s time for you to get married. and suddenly you’re inundated by suitor after suitor, and wonwoo is quizzing them on their credentials and doubting their suitability for you, this one makes brash political decisions, this one spends too freely, this one has no tact for diplomacy. until one day, you turn to him and ask, “you’ve hated every single one of them. who, then, do you think i should marry?” and wonwoo blushes red and presses his lips together."
SCANDAL, PT.2, PT.3, PT.4- @fantasyescapes17
series, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, regency au
this is part of an extensive series that includes other members! you can check it out ⤳ here
The Viscount's sister with an enormous dowry, beauty and unmistakable talent- you began the London season as the most desired woman in any room. But Jeon Wonwoo (a man who would rather hide in the library than dance at a ball) is beyond your comprehension. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it embroiled you into a scandal with a man you could never love.
MEET CUTE OF THE CENTURY - @lovelyhan
oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, strangers to lovers
the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your city’s local animal shelter is to meet the hottest cat person in the world. now if only he’d just adopt one of them so you’d stop ogling him every time he drops by.
MARRIAGE - @yikesmary
drabble, fluff, parent au, est relationship
where wonwoo’s nightmare is coming true.
BIRTHDAY SURPRISE - @/yikesmary
oneshot, fluff, parent au, est relationship
where you and nari try to make breakfast and a cake before wonwoo wakes up… if only your daughter knew what the word “surprise” meant.
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LEE JIHOON
GUITAR STRING - @leejungchans
oneshot, fluff, angst, royalty au
"“Take me away.” Jihoon’s elegant fingers, previously plucking at his guitar strings, freeze at your words. The soothing, lullaby-like chords he had been playing echo into the inky darkness, carried away by the chilly night breeze."
WE'LL BE OK - @atinykidult
drabble, angst, fluff, idol au, est relationship
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” for hurt!Jihoon
LIVE - @wondernus
oneshot, fluff, idol au, est relationship
having just finished composing a song a few hours ago, jihoon starts a live on his phone to sing to those who are feeling a little lonely at night. little does he know, your sleeping figure could be seen in the corner of his little livestream, causing his fans to go crazy.
MWHA - @cheolism
oneshot, fluff, est relationship
three times you said "mwah" at the end of a kiss and one time jihoon said it back
IM DATING WOOZI - @jihoonotes
oneshot, fluff, smau, est relationship, idol au
y/n is in a public relationship w/ woozi of SVTZ and decides to make a twitter acc to support jihoon, but SVTZ fans seem to think they're delusional.
JIHOON'S PUPPY - @rubyreduji
oneshot, angst, fluff, college au
jihoon can’t seem to shake the puppy dog who keeps following him around or the teasing he gets for it
HEARTSTRINGS - @wavelikewhat
oneshot, fluff, strangers to lovers, idol au
You help Jihoon meet an unexpected deadline for a song and he wonders why he can’t stop thinking about you. Luckily his members nudge him toward the answer.
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LEE SEOKMIN
WARM ME UP ! - @ponkwan
drabble, fluff, est relationship
the one where you’re on your third date with seokmin.
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KIM MNGYU
HOT OR COLD? - @jjuniehao
oneshot, fluff, est relationship
when looking for something on his phone, you find an email you didn’t expect…
BOYFRIEND PHOTOS - @babyleostuff
oneshot, fluff, est relationship, idol au
a sunny date spent with your precious boyfriend
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XU MINGHAO
THE LETTER - @toruro
oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, brothers best friend, childhood friends to lovers, idol au
in which you’re jun's little sister and have been pining for a man so close yet so out of reach for ages. now, years later, when you see minghao all grown up, famous, and still making your heart flutter, you're not so sure what to do about your not-so-little crush.
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BOO SEUNGKWAN
A BEAUTIFUL LIFE - @sungbeam
oneshot, fluff, childhood friends, est relationship
Boo Seungkwan asked you to marry him beneath the shade of an orange tree.
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CHWE VERNON
ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE - @suhnshinehaos
series, fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, arranged marriage, smau
the one where you get into an arranged marriage with your childhood best friend vernon, but neither of you seem to mind that much
UNTITLED - @/wqnwoos
drabble, fluff, est relationship, idol au
“vernon, we need to talk.”
OR, WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME? - @thepixelelf
oneshot, fluff, childhood friends to lovers, college au, soulmate au
A detested soulmark, a friendship over a decade in the making, and an unexpected proposal from one friend to another… what could possibly go wrong?
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LEE CHAN
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE - @/berriesandjunnie
oneshot, fluff, est relationship, parent au, idol au
no matter what stage in life you’re at, or after all these years, you can count on his hyungs to still treat him the same.
08:23 AM - @wheeboo
drabble, fluff, est relationship, idol au
in which chan is late to dance practice.
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want recs for other groups? check out my navigation → here!
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roosterforme · 1 month
Text
Some Things Take Time | Bob Floyd x Reader
Summary: Bob is a man well known for his patience. He never rushes things in the air, and he tries to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. You and he are both on the same page about welcoming a child into your home through foster care, but it's hard for him to watch you try to bond with her unsuccessfully. He soon realizes that Avery is a lot like him, and that some things are worth the extra time.
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of infertility, mentions of foster care and adoption, Bob making all other men look like trash
Length: 5800 words
Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x wife!reader
Happy birthday @wkndwlff! Check my masterlist for more!
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You were laying on the couch with your head resting on your husband's lap, spinning his wedding band around on his finger while you tried to put your thoughts into words. You could tell he knew you were on the verge of speaking, sending you several expectant glances as you and he both pretended to watch the movie he started an hour ago. But Bob would never rush you, and you were thankful for that, because you wanted to make sure you got this right. 
"We've been trying for a long time," you whispered, and Bob's blue eyes met yours as you looked up at him. "Almost two years."
He nodded once and smiled softly. "We have," he murmured, squeezing your hand in his larger one. You pressed your lips together as tears stung your eyes. Bob never seemed upset that he was pushing forty years old and in spite of trying and trying, you'd never gotten pregnant. He never put pressure on you to keep trying or to stop. You were convinced he never would, but you wanted to know what he was really thinking.
"What if we... stopped. Stopped trying. And just went with an alternative?"
"Honey, I already told you I'm happy with things how they are. We can stop trying if you want to, or we can talk about alternatives if you want to do that. But there's nothing wrong with just you and me. In fact, I'm really quite enjoying myself."
You closed your eyes as his fingers drifted along the curves of your side. It would be delicious to get back into the habit of having sex when you wanted to instead of when your cycle demanded it. You and Bob sharing your undivided attention with each other was something you were craving, but you still wanted something else, too.
"What if I said I wanted to look into fostering and adoption again?" you asked softly as you started to sit up.
He pulled you closer so you were straddling his thigh. "Then I would say we can call our lawyer on Monday and get some answers."
You smiled as you nudged his glasses with your nose and kissed his cheek. "And what if I said I'm not fertile today, but I want you anyway?"
Bob reached for the remote and turned the movie off as a soft blush rose in his cheeks. "Then I would say it's time we got in bed, Honey."
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Bob was a man who was well known for his patience. He never rushed things in the air, and he tried to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. He knew he wanted to marry you about halfway through the first date. He also knew you would have looked at him like he was insane if he admitted that to you halfway through the first date. So instead of rushing things, he took the time to make sure you were on the same page he was and that you were comfortable. He always tried to do that.
When a baby just didn't seem to be happening, he was more than willing to keep trying, but he was also completely content with the idea of no kids at all. It wasn't worth rushing anything as long as he had you in his life. But you had recently convinced him of a third option, and his lawyer helped the two of you smooth out the details. 
And this is how Avery ended up at Bob's house on a random Monday evening. She was eight years old and in need of a foster family, and you were adamant when you answered the phone call that you and Bob were more than ready for her to be dropped off even on such short notice. 
"I'm so nervous," you whispered as you held Bob's hand and watched through the front window as a van pulled up. 
"I'm excited," he told you with a soft laugh. When he thought about having kids, he always pictured a little girl. For some reason, the idea of reading princess stories and painting a bedroom a putrid shade of purple really appealed to him. As he watched Avery being led up the walkway, he realized she didn't look one bit like you or him. He also realized that having a child who resembled him was actually never part of his dreams. 
As the doorbell rang, you bounced in place and whispered, "She's here. She's really here." 
Bob pulled you in for a kiss as his heart thudded. He realized he needed to tamp down his excitement a little bit. The two of you were merely fostering Avery. Nothing was set in stone even though you told the lawyer you wanted to eventually adopt a child. But right now your eyes were glittering with hope and anticipation, and Bob couldn't take that away from you. 
"Let's make her feel welcome," he said as you both headed for the door. 
Avery stood there with an unreadable expression on her adorable face, and Bob noticed right away how the case worker seemed to rush through everything. There were papers to sign and a schedule to keep, and even though all of it pertained to Avery, she ended up sitting quietly at the kitchen table while everyone else talked about her.
It was late by the time you and Bob were alone with her, and now her unreadable expression looked something like sadness. "Avery," Bob said softly. "Do you want to see your bedroom?"
She looked up at him and nodded without saying a word, and then you helped her down from the chair. You had taken the time to freshen up the extra bedroom and buy a pink glitter toothbrush and a pair of pajamas in her size. But Avery just sat down on the edge of the bed with her bag and asked, "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"
"Yes," Bob replied with a smile. "I'll drop you off on my way to work, and then I'll pick you up in the afternoon."
When she didn't respond, you asked, "Is there anything you want? A bedtime snack or something to drink? I could make you some hot chocolate or get you a cookie. Bob makes the best oatmeal cookies, and there are a few left from the weekend. Maybe you can help Bob make the next batch." You were rambling now, and Bob reached out to squeeze your hand as you said, "We're just excited that you're here."
But Avery shook her head and told you, "I'll just read my book. Thanks." Then she untied her shoes and took a well worn copy of The Secret Garden from her bag, but she sat on the bed with rigid posture, not looking at either of you.
Bob wasn't quite sure what to do. You'd already shown the child where the bathroom was, and she seemed to have all of her essentials. He swallowed hard, deciding not to rush Avery even though he could feel your disappointment radiating off of you. He cleared his throat and said, "We'll leave our bedroom door open in case you need anything. And we'll get you up around seven for school. Good night, Avery."
She just nodded and squinted down at the tattered book cover like she was going to cry. Bob led you down the hallway, through your room and into the en suite bathroom where he gathered you in his arms as tears filled your eyes. "I don't think she likes us," you gasped before you buried your face against his neck.
Bob kissed the top of your head and whispered, "I just think she needs some time. Let's not rush anything." 
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You cried yourself to sleep the first night. You knew that your response wasn't fair to Bob or Avery or even to yourself, but you'd imagined meeting a little girl who was at least a little bit more talkative if not upbeat. You had your hopes set on fostering a child who at least gave the impression that your home was better than another alternative. You'd been given a vague picture of where Avery had come from, and you wanted her to be comfortable here, but now you felt stupid for buying the glitter toothbrush and the Minnie Mouse pajamas. 
Bob's hand drew lazy circles on your back as you turned away from him and cried softly. "It's just the first night," he reminded you in that sweet, even tone that you loved so much.
"I know. I just wanted this so desperately," you admitted between shaky breaths. His hand on your body helped you eventually fall asleep, and the next morning, Bob was up before you, making breakfast. When you tapped on Avery's door which was ajar, you poked your head in to find her once again sitting on the bed reading.
"Did you sleep okay?" you asked, and she nodded in response. "That's great!" you said in a tone of forced excitement. "Do you need help getting ready for school?"
"No," she said softly, setting the book aside.
You took a deep breath and said, "Bob's making breakfast. Do you want to come downstairs and eat?"
"Yes."
That was the last word you heard her speak before Bob led her out to his car in his uniform. He smiled at you over his shoulder as he told you to have a good day working on your true crime novel, but you knew you weren't going to. You spend two hours trying to write, but you ended up with three and a half new sentences. Instead, you spent most of the day thinking you'd made a huge mistake and hating your own body. Avery would probably last two weeks tops with you and Bob before she was begging to go somewhere else. You didn't even know if you could stand to see her melancholy little expression when your husband brought her home from school today, but you didn't want to call her case worker for help yet.
In the afternoon, you bought everything you needed to make oatmeal cookies along with the rest of your usual groceries. You paused next to the checkout line where there was a display of children's books and grabbed a few of them. Avery appeared to like her book more than anything else, so maybe she would appreciate these ones, too.
But when Bob brought Avery home with him after school, she barely spoke. She didn't want to help make any cookies, and after dinner, she went back to her bedroom. Bob tried to help her with her homework, but she told him it was easy and she already finished it. When you dropped off the new books, she told you she already had a favorite. 
"Oh," you said, standing in the doorway with your hands full of the unwanted books. "That's good... that you have a favorite. I have a favorite book, too."
She looked up at you and nodded, but soon you were backing out of the room and trying to hide your tears from Bob. "It takes time," he reassured you as you balled your hands into fists and cried on him again.
You knew you needed to be as patient as he always was, but you just weren't like him. And you started talking before you could stop yourself. "If we could have gotten pregnant, we'd have our own child," you sobbed. "One that we raised from day one who would love us and bake cookies and read new books."
Bob kissed your ear and whispered, "Nothing is easy, Honey. But sometimes the harder something is at first, the more rewarding it is later on."
You cried yourself to sleep again.
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Bob tried his best for that first week. He watched you start to pull away and retreat into yourself the more Avery kept to her bedroom. Every day when he dropped her off and picked her up, she thanked him for the ride. When he asked if she would rather start taking the bus, she told him it didn't matter. When he asked if there was something special she wanted to eat for dinner, she said she wasn't picky. 
And all the while she just squinted down at her book. Just The Secret Garden even though you brought home some others. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her school one morning, he said, "Avery, would you like me to take you to the library one day? Or maybe a bookstore where you can pick out what you want?"
She looked at him as she grabbed her backpack in one hand and her book in the other. "Maybe." Then she climbed out of the car, and he waited to pull away until she was inside the school building. That was the most promising answer he'd received yet. He drove to work thinking about signing her up for a library card, and when he got there, he was in a much better mood.
Natasha was the only one who knew that Avery was under his care. He didn't want to give anyone too many details, but she sweetly asked him the same question every morning after they got to work. "How are you and the Mrs. making out with your houseguest?"
And this morning, he said, "Maybe a little better today, Nat. I'm just trying not to rush it."
She patted him on the chest and smiled. "You never do, Bob. You're a man of details."
She was right. He spent the day thinking about all of the details that he knew about Avery. She was eight years old and very quiet. She only wanted to read one book even though you offered her more. She seemed to find the most comfort when she was alone. She was honestly a lot like Bob.
When he picked Avery up from school, he watched as one of the teachers patted the top of her backpack and sent her on her way. She squinted toward his car before trudging over in his direction with a frown on her face. Bob sighed as she climbed into the backseat and buckled herself in. "How was your day, Avery?" he asked as he shifted into drive. But today he got no verbal response at all. Instead he heard her crying.
Without another word, Bob pulled his car around and into an empty parking spot before killing the engine. He opened his door and closed it before taking a few deep breaths, and then he climbed in the back door and settled in next to the crying child. He let one hand gently rest on her shoulder, giving her a small squeeze before asking, "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
She just shook her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, and she stared at her feet. "It's stupid."
Bob smiled slightly. "You might think so, but I'd probably find what you have to say fascinating."
She turned her head to look at him, examining his face to see if he was being honest. But of course he was. He just wanted her to tell him what was on her mind. It took a few minutes before she started to settle down, but eventually she said, "I failed my eye exam with the nurse today." She unzipped her bag and pulled out a yellow sheet of paper and handed it to him. "She told me my eyesight is terrible and that I need to get glasses."
Bob looked at the page and had to hide his alarm from her. Avery failed her eye exam spectacularly. It was a wonder to Bob that she was even able to see in her classroom. But now her squinting and her preference for one, well worn book were starting to make sense. As he filled in the blanks in his mind, he said, "Glasses aren't so bad," while he tapped his own silver frames. "They certainly make my day a lot easier."
She kind of rolled her eyes and said, "But you're an adult. People aren't going to make fun of you for wearing glasses."
"You think you'll get made fun of?" Bob asked softly, folding the yellow paper in half.
"Yes," she replied immediately as she wiped at her tears. "I already do. Glasses will make it so much worse."
Bob wanted to press her for more details, but he didn't think this was the right moment. Instead he asked, "Is that why you only like to read The Secret Garden? Because you already know most of the words by heart?"
Avery looked at him like she couldn't believe he solved a very complex riddle. "Yes."
He nodded and asked, "Would you like to be able to read other books, too? Because glasses would definitely help with that."
She shrugged and sniffed as she said, "I like books about gardens and flowers and fairies. I don't know of any other ones I would like anyway."
Bob patted her on the shoulder one more time and said, "I like those kinds of books, too. And I think I can help you get glasses that look cool and help you pick out more books. If you'll let me."
Another partial shrug was his only answer, but at least she wasn't telling him no. As he climbed back into the driver's seat, he sent you a quick text telling you that he and Avery were fine and to go ahead and have dinner on your own. Then he drove along to his optometrist's office, hoping they would squeeze an extra appointment into their schedule.
"You're in luck," the receptionist told him when they arrived. "There was a last minute cancellation. Have a seat, and we can take you back shortly."
The rack hanging on the wall was filled with books and magazines for people of all ages, but Bob watched Avery squint as she took a seat empty handed. He skimmed a magazine and offered to read an article to her, but she said no. When ten minutes had passed, Bob asked her, "Are the kids at school mean to you?" 
He was already considering other options that might make her feel more comfortable when she said, "I just don't fit in. Everyone else has parents or grandparents. Everyone else is loud, and I like it better when it's quiet. Everyone else already made friends."
Bob nodded his head. It was like she was living his own childhood in many ways. "I like it better when it's quiet, too. So does my wife. And making friends can be hard at any age. I still struggle with it."
"You do?" she asked him, eyes wide and interested.
"Absolutely. Sometimes I still get nervous and stumble over what I want to say, and I'm thirty-nine. And you know what?"
"What?"
"There's nothing wrong with that."
He watched Avery take a deep breath and look down at her hands before both of their names were called. Once they were in the exam room, Bob got to witness her fail the test for the second time in one day, and then her tears started up again. The crying was only made worse when the receptionist popped in and tried to quietly tell Bob that Avery wasn't approved for any vision insurance. 
The child was clearly smart as a whip, and if she was having a hard time fitting in at school, he didn't want to make it worse by making her feel like she didn't fit in with you and him either. "I was planning on paying out of pocket today," he told the receptionist who just nodded in response. Then he turned to Avery and said, "Looks like the nurse was right. How about we pick out some glasses?"
She looked at the displays while she wiped at her eyes with a tissue, but she wouldn't tell Bob which ones she wanted to try on. "Which ones are the cheapest?" she asked softly.
"I have no idea," Bob replied easily. "What's your favorite color?"
"Purple," she whispered, and Bob followed her squinting gaze to a purple frame sitting on a shelf above her head. 
"I like purple, too," he said as he reached them down and handed them to her. She held them for a couple minutes, and Bob decided not to rush her. She finally slipped them on and looked in the mirror, and he told her, "I think they look cool."
She nodded a little bit. "They're pretty good. But nobody else at school has purple glasses." 
As she removed them and tried to hand them back to him, Bob quickly looked at the adult sized frames. There was one pair that came in a deep purple, and he kind of liked them. "Just hang onto those for a minute. I need help picking out new glasses for myself, okay? What do you think about these?" 
When he removed his wire frames and replaced them with the purple plastic, it seemed like Avery couldn't help but smile. "I like them."
He nodded once. "Then I'll get them. That way we can match since we both like purple. Thanks for your help."
"You're welcome," she replied quietly, looking at the glasses she was still holding before handing them to Bob.
He took both pairs in his hand before nodding toward the door. "I'm feeling like it's a good day to get ice cream for dinner and look around the bookstore. I can think of at least two more books that you might like to read once your glasses are ready for you to wear. Sound good?"
"Yes."
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You didn't know what to expect when Bob brought Avery home after seven o'clock on a school night, but you definitely weren't prepared to hear her laughter for the first time. You'd barely made any progress on your novel since Avery arrived a few weeks ago, merely existing in your own funk all day long. But the sound of Bob's voice followed by her light giggle as they walked inside left you feeling better than you had in ages.
"Hi," you said, your voice dripping with optimism as Bob headed your way with a shopping bag in his hand. 
"Hi, Honey," he replied, kissing your cheek while Avery took her shoes off.
"How was school?" you asked her. 
"Terrible," she told you with a smile aimed up at Bob. "I failed my eye exam."
"Oh," you gasped, already making a mental note to call the eye doctor first thing in the morning so she could get some glasses. "We can take care of it for you."
"Already did," Bob said as he squeezed your hand. "Stopped on the way home and picked them out. Should be ready next week."
"Really?" you asked in surprise as he pulled two books out of the bag. Both were covered in vines and flowers, but one was clearly a novel for an adult while the other was much slimmer and looked like it was for Avery's reading level.
"Yes," he replied softly. "Now, on the drive home, I told Avery that you're a writer, but that you're also really good at reading books out loud." When you nodded and looked at her, she was squinting up at you. Bob handed you the smaller book and said, "I didn't get to take a shower before I left work, so I need to go do that now. But I promised Avery that you'd read a chapter to her after she gets ready for bed." He patted her on the shoulder and then made his way upstairs.
Your head was swimming with information. New glasses and new books and a child who was looking up at you with hope in her eyes. A husband who set up some time for you to spend alone with her. Tears stung your eyes as you said, "I love reading books out loud. Do you want to change for bed and brush your teeth now?"
Ten minutes later, you were sitting next to Avery on the spare bed, reading to her about a magical garden filled with flowers that turned the characters into superheroes. You read all sixteen pages of the first chapter, and then she asked you to read more. 
It was a little bit past bedtime when you finished the third chapter, and she was yawning. "How about I go get you one of my bookmarks from my office? And we can read more tomorrow night?"
"Okay," she replied easily, and when you returned a minute later with a bookmark that had a purple tassel, she smiled. "I like this book so far, but I think I'd like it a lot better if there were fairies, too. Thank you for reading to me."
"You're very welcome," you told her, barely shutting off the light in time for a tear to slide down your cheek. "Goodnight, Avery."
When you rushed into your own bedroom, Bob was in bed reading the other new book. "How did you do it?" you asked him, quickly climbing under the covers with him. "How did you get her to open up a little bit?"
He set the book down with a soft smile. "She just needed some time, Honey. She's a lot like me. She can't be rushed."
"No," you said, pushing your fingers through his hair as you cried a little bit. "That's not it. I think you're actually magical."
"Maybe," he agreed. "But her vision is so bad. That's why I think she kept reading The Secret Garden. She probably has it memorized and didn't want to tell anyone she couldn't see."
"Poor thing," you whispered, realizing that most of Bob's magic came from his patience as you fell asleep in his arms.
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A week later, Bob noticed you were exhausted, but you seemed a lot happier, because Avery seemed a lot happier. You had successfully read two books to her, and she was starting to become more vocal around the house. He was hoping she was having an easier time making friends at school now, too. But he was a little bit concerned with how late into the night you'd been working.
When he got a message around lunchtime letting him know both pairs of glasses were ready, he smiled. Pretty soon Avery would be able to attempt reading a new book on her own. He sent you a text letting you know that he'd be home with Avery after a quick stop back at the optometrist's office. And when he picked her up from school, she squinted at his car before climbing in the backseat. 
"Ready to go get our new glasses?" he asked before pulling out onto the road.
"Yes," she replied softly. "I've decided that wearing glasses is a better alternative than not being able to read new books. At least until I can get contacts."
Bob chuckled. "A wise choice."
A few seconds later, she asked, "Will you take me to the library this weekend? There have to be more books there that I'd like."
"Of course I'll take you to the library. We can ask the librarian to help you find you as many books as you want to read."
He hoped that would make the new glasses an even easier decision for her. He parked and led her inside where the eye doctor got them both fitted correctly before handing them a mirror. "What do you think?" Bob asked as he smiled at Avery. "I think they look cool on you."
She shrugged. "They're okay."
"Can you see better?"
"Yes," she whispered. On the way outside, she said, "Thanks for getting new glasses with me. I like yours, too."
Bob checked himself in the mirror before he backed out of the parking spot. "I think it's kind of my color."
You were waiting in the living room for them when Bob opened the front door. The house smelled like dinner cooking, and you had a stack of bound pages on the couch next to you. When you jumped to your feet, you said, "You both look great!" as you bounced in place a little bit.
"Purple is kind of our color," Avery said, making Bob laugh as you covered your massive smile with your fingertips. 
"It really is," you replied, wrapping Bob in a quick hug before cautiously placing your hand on Avery's shoulder for a beat. "I have something I wanted to show you. I was hoping to get your opinion."
"Me?" she asked, looking up at you, eyes wide behind her purple frames.
"Yes," you told her softly. "I've been working on a new story for the past week, and I really think you'll be able to help me with the ending."
"What kind of story?" she asked you, and Bob slowly made his way into the kitchen where he could still hear the two of you talking. 
"Well," you told her as she joined you on the couch, "it's about a fairy who gets invited to live in a magic garden. And she starts to learn how to use magic herself while a friendly witch and a kind wizard supervise her. And the garden is really pretty, and she loves it there and starts to make friends with the other creatures. Do you want to take a look at it?"
"Okay."
Bob hovered in the doorway and watched you hand the bound manuscript to the little girl next to you while you chewed nervously on your lip. He knew you wanted this to work out; he did too. He was also very surprised that you'd been working on this for the past week without sharing your secret even with him. But it truthfully wasn't really for him. It was for her. And you.
The child looked up at you and whispered, "You named the fairy Avery."
You just nodded and smiled. "Your name is so pretty, and you remind me of the kind of little girl who would have magic inside her."
Avery turned back to the page in front of her and snuggled in a little bit closer to you. She started reading out loud, and after a few pages, handed it over to you for a little bit. The two of you went back and forth like this for an hour before Bob carried in two plates of dinner and set them on the coffee table. 
"Even magic fairies get hungry," he said softly before leaving both of you to the story.
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When you woke up a few weeks later on Avery's ninth birthday, you were beyond exhausted. The past few nights had been late ones for you as you tried to finish up and edit the story you'd been working on. The title that the two of you came up with was The Littlest Fairy in the Garden, and you were just as proud of this as your true crime releases. 
Then you realized that there was actually a reason why you woke up. You could hear Bob talking. It sounded like he was on the phone even though it was barely eight o'clock. You climbed out of bed and stretched before finding him sitting on the floor in the walk-in closet talking softly on the phone in his pajama pants, undershirt and purple glasses.
"I'm sure she's going to agree with me. We want to move forward if that's what Avery wants, but I'll call you back in an hour or two. Thank you so much."
He ended the call right when you asked, "Who was that?"
Bob jumped a bit as he looked up at you with a tentative smile. "Our lawyer," he whispered. 
"What did they say?" you whispered back as he got to his feet and wrapped his arms around you. 
When Bob's lips found your ear, you shivered at his words. "It was just a preliminary conversation, but they asked if we would be interested in pursuing adoption."
"With Avery?" you gasped, and he nodded against you. 
"Yes. With Avery."
Tears filled your eyes as you clung to him. You thought about all the books she'd been reading with you and the birthday cake waiting in the kitchen. You could practically still smell the oatmeal cookies she and Bob made a few days ago. You could picture her smile and imagine her laughter, both of which were coming more easily with each passing day. "I want to adopt her. She belongs here. With us."
"I think so, too," he replied immediately, and you could hear the unshed tears in her voice. "I think we should have a conversation with her about it today. The process could take a little time, but I want to be sure it's what she wants as well."
You nodded, a jerky motion against him as your heart pounded faster and faster. "Let's talk about it when she wakes up."
Bob led you downstairs to the kitchen, his fingers laced with yours, and he started to crack some eggs while you made coffee and fresh orange juice. Avery had picked the menu for each meal today for her birthday, and the plan was to take her to the zoo after lunch. There was currently a purple banner with flowers and fairies on it stretched across the kitchen along with a large assortment of balloons. You couldn't remember being this excited about something in such a long time.
"Good morning," came a soft voice from the bottom of the stairs, and you nearly dropped a mug on the floor as you turned to look at her.
"Happy birthday!" you and Bob replied in unison, and then all three of you started laughing. 
Without another word, Avery made her way into the kitchen in her Minnie Mouse pajamas and gave you a hug around the waist. You gasped softly as you hugged her back, her purple glasses pressing against you. Then she tucked herself against Bob's side and hugged him right after that. "Thanks for all the birthday stuff. And thanks for being so nice to me and getting me glasses and everything."
You and Bob shared a look over her head as he rubbed his hand along her shoulder. "It makes us happy that you're here, Avery," he said softly, and you had to swipe at your tears. "Let's have your breakfast, and maybe we can talk about making this permanent."
"Permanent? Like me staying here for a while?" she asked softly as she looked up at him.
"Like you staying here forever."
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This is a little birthday treat for @wkndwlff! I hope you have a great day, Taylor! I set out to write a nice little story based on this mood board, but somehow it turned into this angsty thing instead. Thanks to @sylviebell @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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heretic-altias · 2 years
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Unrelated to anything, but do artists out there generally like the Apple Pencil with iPad? I somewhat remember hearing good things when that was a new thing, but idk if it still is? My tablet broke and all I’ve got is my ancient little iPad Air 2 (a 2014 model lol) and I’m wondering if it’s worth replacing said iPad to use the new one for drawing?
I think it’d be nice to have over a tablet that hooks up to my PC like I did, very little desk space and multiple cables just made that a pain to set up whenever I wanted to draw. iPad sounds a bit more portable, and I can probably use it for class too when I go back to college. I’ll take pen suggestions that work on ancient iPads too though, that’s probably a cheaper route if there are any good ones.
Also no sorry you won’t find my art here, I’m a coward who never posts it bc it’s not fanart and therefore not relevant to anything in my mind lol. Also I can only draw dragons.
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wileys-russo · 4 months
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can we get alexia being standoffish towards you bc of feelings she has for you & she doesn’t know how to express them? and once she realizes that you are taking it personally she gets over herself and explains and then some fluff?
it’s literally my favorite trope 🫠🫠
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change of pace II a.putellas
when you first joined barcelona you were welcomed in with open arms. terrified on your first day you were left under the watchful eye of your national teammate, frido making sure she didn't leave your side the entire time introducing you to everyone one by one.
there wasn't a single person who wasn't friendly and by the time your first official week finished up you felt as if you'd already been there for a full season with how friendly and close knit everyone was.
upon learning your contract was nearly up with rosengard and coming off the back of a phenomenal euros performance your agent was quick to seek out if there would be offers coming your way from other leagues before negotiations started for an extension with your current team.
much to your shock one of the biggest and most appealing offers came from barcelona and the moment the teams name left your agents mouth you all but officially accepted, dismissing him from running you through the rest of your options with your mind already made up.
frido was delighted when you'd called her with the news, making a point to spend the entire world cup forcing you to work on your spanish.
though her refusal at times to speak to you in anything but spanish caused you endless headaches by the time your first day in barcelona rocked up you felt immense gratitude for her somewhat forceful approach.
the first month of the season flew by and though you were yet to get minutes under your belt you'd already learnt so much and improved immensely from training and working with the team.
having met her several times already when she'd come to visit frido or during facetimes when you'd called the older girl mid season for advice, you found yourself gravitating toward ingrid and the two of you formed a close bond.
one in which you'd often tease frido for that ingrid liked you more than her much to the older swedes offence and how quick she was to bite every single time you'd tease her.
being linked so closely with ingrid meant you were also close with her girlfriend mapi, who'd been one of the very first people to come up and introduce herself on your first day, even being so friendly that frido had jokingly warned her away to let you settle in before she 'corrupted' you.
then again in turn from spending so much time with the couple you found yourself often out in a small group in which your captain was present, alexia warm but much less outspoken than the rest of the team.
at first you'd just put it down to her needing to hold her reputation up which of course proceeded her, and wanting to seem as professional as possible as even mapi would tease she needed to lighten up when you'd all hang out together.
but overtime the older girl seemed to soften and you found her making more of an effort to in fact 'lighten up' and lower her seemingly stern walls.
though this still didn't stop you from being a little taken aback when one day she offered to show you around barcelona, joking that she could show you all the local spots that tourists like yourself would never find.
and so a tradition of sorts was born as you settled in and found your place within the team.
frido would pick you up each morning for training since you were yet to pass your test which allowed you to drive in spain, but it was alexia who would take you back home.
then each day the blonde would show you something new around barca. if it be a lookout, a beach, a restaurant, a cafe, whatever it was she always seemed to have a story behind its significance and what drew her there and you were certain you enjoyed these much more than the place itself.
which is why it was odd when one day she seemingly forgot you, having already left for the day by the time you finished showering and changing. luckily ingrid and mapi hadn't left yet and drove you home, assuring alexia probably had a family or media commitment she just forgot to mention.
but it wasn't a once off, and suddenly alexia seemed to be making a point of leaving before you, seperating herself from you in trainings and ghosting the calls and texts you'd send her checking in if something had happened.
you questioned your teammates on her strange behaviour who all were as clueless as you, also unsure why alexia was suddenly acting as if you had some sort of infectious disease, barely saying more than a few words to you a day if you were lucky.
her actions hurt more than you let on but frido saw right through the act and with her now taking over both picking up and dropping you off after training and for games she took the opportunity to gently question you about why this was happening.
of course you couldn't answer any of her questions being unsure yourself and with mapi trying to get the same answers out of alexia with the same luck, when the spaniard and the swede met for coffee the next day neither could piece together what had happened.
it would appear most of the team assumed you had some sort of falling out or argument neither of you wanted to come clean about, and not wanting to shatter the team dynamic gratefully seemed to drop it all together.
you however weren't so willing to let everything go, especially when you'd overheard alexia making plans for the teams day off with mapi. "-but why ale? what happened that is so bad you will not even speak with her?" you paused about to turn the corner, warning bells going off as you really weren't in the mood to be blatantly ignored.
"nothing! just drop it please, and don't invite her." you didn't need a pen to fill in the blanks on who her was in this situation, so with your jaw clenching you made a point to turn the corner and make your presence known.
"hola amiga we did not-" mapi's eyes widened as she grabbed for your arm but you side stepped her, alexias face remaining unreadable as something flickered in her eyes which met yours for a fleeting moment before you turned your head and continued on your way.
you were certain after that you'd just ignore alexia back, give up on any real chance you had to dig deeper into why she was behaving this way and just commit to the lack of communication and interaction she seemed to favour.
but you lost your chance when it was mapi and ingrids turn to host the team bonding night and with a stomach bug ripping through the team the group was a lot smaller than usual, and you found yourself unable to avoid your captain.
you did your best all evening to speak to everyone and anyone else but it seemed someone was determined to meddle as when everyone settled in to watch some spanish soap they were fixated on, the only free spots left for the two of you were on the floor right by one another.
you made a point to shuffle your body as far away from alexia as you could but with lucy's legs blocking you from moving much further you had no choice but to settle for your shoulder just pressing lightly against the midfielders.
you tensed as two episodes in you felt alexias hand shift, fingers brushing yours and sending a jolt up your arm as you quickly moved your hand into your lap and leant your body into lucys legs to get even further away.
you were even more surprised that in the next ten minutes all you could feel was alexia's eyes burning into the side of your head, but you refused to acknowledge it.
it became harder when ona left and alexia moved into her spot on the sofa behind you, leaving you on the floor basically right in the middle of her legs which stretched out beside you as again you shuffled away.
another episode in and suddenly alexia seemed to want to play footsies, her foot tucking beneath your thigh and poking you every now and then as her knee rested against your shoulder, the touch both familiar and foreign as you exhaled slowly.
you tried to push her leg away but it just returned to the same position so you gave up.
when that episode ended and mapi decided that it was time to call it a night you dared to glance up toward the blonde who made a point to ignore your gentle tap against her knee to try and gain her attention, starting a conversation with lucy as you shook your head feeling foolish for even giving in for a second to her games.
mumbing something in swedish under your breath you stood quickly, hugging your hosts goodnight and waving goodbye to the team, out the door in seconds flat as you made a beeline for the elevator.
with frido down with the stomach bug you pulled out your phone to call an uber, gently dismissing lucys offer of a ride home well aware she'd be headed for ona's house which was in the opposite direction of your own, given you'd accidentally caught them mid makeout in ona's car one morning.
frowning at the price surge of your ride you didn't hear someone else enter the elevator, only aware you weren't alone anymore as the doors closed and someone cleared their throat causing you to lift your head.
but when you saw who it was it immediately dropped back down. "how are you getting home?" the silence was broken by her raspy voice. "uber." you mumbled, clicking yes and waiting for a driver to accept the ride.
"i can drive you."
at that your eyes flicked back upwards and you scoffed. "i think i will take my chances being left for dead in a ditch than stuck in a car with you for twenty minutes, gracias though capi." your tone was bordering on venomous and it took alexia by shock, never having heard you say a bad word about or to anyone before.
the elevator opening you wasted no time hurrying out, though still waiting for a driver to accept you didn't really have much of a choice but to come to a halt on the curb outside their building.
"let me drive you." "no." "it is unsafe." "i do not care." "you are being stubborn." "like you are one to talk alexia."
"this is ridiculous, just get in the car!" the older girl rolled her eyes, nodding for you to follow her as you stayed quiet, eyes focused on the road in front of you. "come on, please let me drive you home." her voice softened as she stood beside you only a head taller.
"no." "why not?"
"why not? you cannot be serious alexia?" you laughed at that though the noise was anything but humorous as alexia frowned.
"because you clearly have some hidden reason to dislike me and i heard you talking to mapi the other day so do not now pretend like you want me around or you care what happens to me." you scoffed again and looked away.
"i do care, and i do not dislike you."
her words were even softer now which only irritated you further as you muttered under your breath in your native language which you knew she wouldn't understand.
"don't do that! you know i don't like it when you do that." the catalan scowled as your phone pinged signalling a driver had accepted and your shoulders sagged a little in relief.
"hey!" you frowned as it was taken from your hand and the ride was cancelled. "alexia!" you groaned as she held your phone out of reach. "please let me drive you home."
"well you have not given me a choice now. i would walk but i do not know the way!" you gave in with a huff as she nodded curtly, heading for her car still with your phone held captive in hand.
the drive home itself was silent, alexia handing you your phone back and neither one of you making an attempt at conversation as your eyes stayed focused out the window as the street lights passed by in a blur.
before the girl had even parked up properly outside your apartment complex you'd undone your seatbelt, finding the silence was suffocating you now. but before you could open her door there was a click as she tapped the child lock button.
your forehead thumped helplessly against the window as you exhaled deeply meaning the glass fogged up for a moment. "i do not dislike you." she repeated again, hands gripping the steering wheel as you tucked your knees to your chest.
"you have a funny way of showing it." "i know."
"so is that it then? can i leave now? i might not be a child but i am sure i can call this kidnapping." you huffed with a roll of your eyes when alexia made no move to say anything else.
"no wait! please." her hand grabbed your wrist as you tried to reach over her to press the unlock button. "for what? for you to say something now and then go back to ignoring me for no reason tomorrow? no thank you." you huffed with a roll of your eyes.
"i know. my actions have been immature and i am sorry if they hurt you." "oh you are sorry if they hurt me? thank you alexia, all better now."
"wait! i am not good at this." she grabbed your hand stopping you again, throwing her head back with a groan.
"good at what? alexia we went from talking everyday to you acting like i had a disease and you could not even bare to look at me. that hurt but the worst part was i asked you many times if i had done something and you still would not reply! so i had no idea what even happened to make you treat me like this suddenly. so what do you expect me to think?" you ranted, eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown.
"i know." "so you keep saying, yet here i am still with no idea why you are acting like this." "because i like you! dios mio."
"if you like me then why would you just suddenly stop talking to me? you are so confusing!" you groaned, dragging your hands down your face in frustration.
"no mierda!" alexia whispered, biting down on her lip and pausing. "i like you." alexia repeated as you continued to stare at her in confusion. "like...i wanted to ask you on a date." alexia admitted with a sigh, wincing at her own words as your eyes shot wide with surprise.
"oh." "see? that is why i did not. that is why i pulled away to try and work on my feelings because you do not feel that way about me." "how?" "how what?" "how do you know i feel like that?"
your own question now caught alexia off guard as she stammered for a moment. "well because i was going to ask you out because i thought maybe you liked me back. but then i heard you speaking to frido and making plans with your boyfriend for the summer break." alexia's face deflated as yours scrunched up, trying to recall what she meant until it clocked.
"oh alexia." you sighed, unable to stop yourself from letting out a laugh as she turned to you with a glare. "see you are laughing at me now! you can go." with that the door unlocked and you shook your head.
"no no, i am not laughing at you." you promised, alexia tensing as your hand moved to her knee. "alexia, you heard me mention elias yes?" you clarified as she slowly nodded and your smile grew.
"elias is my brother ale, he is quite close with frido's partner so we often all go away together on weekends." you explained as alexia paused for a moment to register your words before letting out a deep sigh.
"so you do not-" "no, i do not have a boyfriend." "ah, well that-oh wow." alexia groaned hanging her head in her hands as you squeezed her knee.
"you should have talked to me about it." "i wanted to! but i am not good with my...feelings." "neither am i, but we could have worked it out together." you squeezed her knee one more time before removing your hand.
"wait!" her hand grabbed your wrist as you opened the door and started to slide out. you saw her struggling with her words and gently tugged your hand from her grip, hovering by her door.
"yes." you spoke simply as she tilted her head with a frown. "yes?"
"yes ale, i would like to go on a date with you. you can pick me up on friday, i am free after six." and with that you walked away from her car back to your apartment, leaving both of you with an excited grin and hope for what might lay ahead for the pair of you.
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s4no · 6 months
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TOKREV: BDSM CLUB, PT. I
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+ feat: manjiro sano, ken ryuuguji, takashi mitsuya, chifuyu matsuno, kazutora hanemiya, keisuke baji, tetta kisaki & hanma shuji
+ cw: fem!reader, each character will have their own cws, MDNI !!
+ summary: what they get up to at a bdsm club.
+ a/n: repost from my old account! all characters are aged 21+ @enchantedforest-network @bitchcraftinc
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ಇ  𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗝𝗜𝗥𝗢 𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗢. + cw: unprotected sex, mentions of plan b manjiro sano walks into the club like he owns the place— and he could if he wanted to, a thick stack of crisp hundred dollar bills tucked away inside the pocket of his jeans. he doesn't even glance at the girls until he's had a drink or two, but once he loosens up a little, he's there to have some fun. he usually searches for one of two types of women. on one hand, he enjoys the sweet, shy kind. the kind that unevitably fall apart on his cock, tears brimming in their eyes as the babble incoherently. but sometimes, he finds the biggest brat on shift and spends the rest of the night taming her into submission. while condoms are highly recommended, they're not required, and as long as manjiro has been coming to the club, you've never seen him use one. you usually lose count how many times he cums inside you, your stomach bloated and filled with his seed. each time he finishes, he just ends up fucking it back inside you. after all, he's giving you more than enough to pay for plan b.
ಇ  𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗥𝗬𝗨𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗝𝗜. + cw: implied size difference draken always recieves a warm welcome when he comes to the club. the girls swarm to his side to bat their lashes and ask him where he's been, why he didn't come around to see them earlier. and he always assures them that there's certainly enough attention to go around. he doesn't even get halfway through a drink before there's a woman seated in his lap, another sucking bruises into his neck. once he's had a taste of all his options, he typically chooses one girl for the night— which happens to be you tonight. he takes you to a private room and doesn't waste any time putting a condom on and bullying his thick cock inside of you. he thinks it's endearing the way your legs start to tremble halfway down his length, how you whine that it's just too much. with a smirk on his face, he assures you he'll make it fit and thumbs your clit until you loosen up enough for him to sink in all the way.
ಇ  𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜 𝗠𝗜𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗬𝗔. + cw: cock warming, spreader bar (r), impact play (r) mitsuya is friends with everyone at the club. from the bartenders to the dungeon master to the security, he chats them all up before indulging himself. when he finally sits down, he beckons you over and tells you he'd like his cock warmed while he enjoys his drink. he makes you do all the work of unbuckling his belt and stroking him until he's hard, straddling his torso and lowering yourself onto his length. once you're situated, he sips his drink and lazily plays with your clit, tsking when you start to squirm. it seems like eternity before he finishes his drink, and he revels in the way your pussy pulses around him with need. lifting you off him, he leads you over to one of the walls, choosing his weapon of demise: a spreader bar. he secures it between your knees and commands you to keep your hands planted on the wall while delivering brutal slaps to your soaked cunt, chuckling lowly when your body jolts from the impact.
ಇ  𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗙𝗨𝗬𝗨 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢. + cw: voyeurism, oral (g), exhibitionism baji practically has to carry chifuyu into the club. it doesn't matter how many times they go, his nerves always get the best of him. he's a complete mess, blushing and staring at the floor. at least, until he gets a little liquor in his system. once he's more relaxed, he finally lets his eyes wander around, watching various pairs play with each other. he doesn't even realize he's been staring until he looks down at his lap and notices the large bulge in his pants. he looks so cute, sitting there all flustered like he doesn't know what to do with himself. that's when you approach him, leaning down and placing your hand over his erection, whispering how you can take care of his little problem. it's all chifuyu can do to keep from falling out of his chair as you pull his dick out and take it into your mouth, head bobbing as your hand pumps the base. his eyes squeeze shut as pleasure trills up his spine, and when he opens them, he finds himself being watched by multiple people. it has him cumming much sooner than he anticipated.
ಇ  𝗞𝗔𝗭𝗨𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗔 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗬𝗔. + cw: marking (r), nipple clamps (r), handjob (g) kazutora is a wild card depending on how much alcohol he consumes. at the beginning of the night, he's calm and collected, composed as he picks you out from the girls walking around the room. leading you to one of the velvet couches, he takes his time marking you up, placing clamps on your peaked nipples and covering your chest in lovebites in the shape of a 'K'. however, the more he drinks, the more his composure starts to slip away. all of his teasing begins to backfire and soon he's whining as you grind down against his cock. he buries his head in the crook of your neck, and you find it adorable how desperate he is, how his hips needily buck up against you. you're quick to pull his dick out, smearing the precum over the tip until he's begging for release. his head lolls back as you jerk him off, and the sounds that escape him are downright pornographic. pathetic whimpers and deep groans fill the space between you, and his entire body shudders as he shoots his load, cumming all over your hand.
ಇ  𝗞𝗘𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗝𝗜. + cw: collaring & leashing (r), butt plug (r), pet play during the first hour, baji usually hangs out with chifuyu, sipping his drink and pointing out girls he finds attractive. they watch a couple of stripteases and pole dances, tucking dollar bills under bra straps and into the waistbands of lacy panties. hell, baji may even get a lap dance. but the true fun doesn't begin until baji beckons you over and secures a collar around your neck. he undresses you slowly, until the collar is the only thing you're wearing, and then he runs his hands over your curves, groping and squeezing your soft flesh between his fingers before pushing them into your mouth. once they're nice and slick, he draws them out only to start prodding at your ass, easing his middle finger inside your puckered hole. from there, he stretches you open enough to fit a butt plug, one that vibrates with a bunny tail attached. you're his pet to ruin for the night, and after he's done playing with you, he proceeds to connect a leash to your collar and lead you around the club, letting everyone get a good look at his cum leaking out of you.
ಇ  𝗧𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗔 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗞𝗜. + cw: gloryhole, spitting (r), slapping (r), choking (r), fingering kisaki has a routine when he goes to the club. every single night, he walks around and scopes out the available girls in search of the perfect one. admittedly, he's not entirely sure what exactly he's looking for. but he needs her to be perfect. each time he doesn't find her, he takes his frustration out on whomever is working the gloryhole. he fucks the mouth of a nameless, faceless girl, tossing the money onto the floor when he's done. but eventually kisaki finds her— you. from then on, he only goes to you, abadoning the gloryhole and ignoring every other woman that approaches him. sometimes he comes in while you tend to other clients, and it always unnerves you because he sits down and watches you. waits for you to finish, stewing in anger. the moment your client leaves and he gets his hands on you, you learn the extent of his jealousy. he's ruthless, delivering harsh smacks across your cheeks and spitting into your mouth. with three fingers stuffed inside your cunt and his other hand wrapped around your throat, he taunts you about your previous client and makes you beg for forgiveness.
ಇ  𝗦𝗛𝗨𝗝𝗜 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗠𝗔. + cw: handcuffs (r), oral (g), face-fucking, deep throating as soon as hanma steps foot into the club, he wants to get his dick wet. he grabs himself a drink and a girl, restraining her hands behind her back in a pair of cuffs. he forces you to kneel before him, sucking him off while he converses with the other men, acting much too casually for someone getting head. other than a couple of commands, he doesn't offer any help, giving you free reign until he's close. when he satisified with your efforts, he rises to his feet and tangles a hand in your hair, holding your head in place while he fucks your face. with each thrust of his hips, the tip of his dick slams against the back of your throat, and you can't help but gag around him. but if you try to draw away, he retaliates— holding your head down so your nose is pressed against his pelvis. he's amused by the way you start to thrash, spit dribbling down your chin and making a mess on your chest. only when you completely submit to him does he graciously cum down your throat.
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netherfeildren · 7 months
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Pink : Part I : Humanist Seeking Person in Love
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Summary: Humanism: an outlook or system of thought attaching prime importance to human rather than divine or supernatural matters. Humanist beliefs stress the potential value and goodness of human beings, emphasize common human needs, and seek solely rational ways of solving human problems.
The story of a son who won’t love you, and his father, who will.
-OR-
the father-in-law AU
Rating: Explicit 18+
Content Warnings: No outbreak AU; Fix-it-fic but the thing that needs fixing is a person; Daddy issues; Daddy kink; Divorce; Welcome to the father-in-law suck and fuck extravaganza; Possessive behavior; Jealousy; Slow burn but like not really; DD/lg dynamics; Older man/Younger woman; Self esteem issues; Discussions of emotional and mental abuse; Unhealthy coping mechanisms
A/N: Check the tags on the masterlist, as well!
Word Count: 7.4K
Read on AO3
Ko-fi
1. Humanist Seeking Person in Love
The video you’d watched had said that the differences between a jamb nut and a coupling nut should have been obvious. A jamb nut, which was what you were currently looking for, was typically half as tall as a standard nut, or a coupling nut, and would be of a small, stouter shape compared to the other options. As you stare at the wall of overwhelming stock, the incomprehensible mess of steel, PVC, aluminum and plastic hardware you feel, a little bit, like you’d like to start screaming as loud as you possibly can, for as long as you possibly can. Just a rip roaring and rageful, top of your lungs, screech. Maybe it’d scare the leering men around you. Maybe they’d desist from the ogling of your ass in the tight confines of your ratty leggings, or the mildly pitying glances as your frustration and confusion becomes more and more obvious.
You try and take a deep breath, glancing down at your phone again and the screenshots you’d taken of the parts you need to fix your leaky kitchen sink. Zooming in, you hold the picture up next to the pipeware currently gripped in your sweaty hand and wonder again if what you’ve chosen is the right piece. You don’t understand why the hardware store, a local business, isn’t as neatly and efficiently organized as the larger chains, and why they make it so damn hard for someone without experience to come in and shop. You don’t want to buy the wrong thing and waste the money you already don’t have, you don’t want to have to make the trek back to this God awful fucking place. You hate the hardware store, you hate the way it smells, dusty and wooden, the cavernous hollow echo of it, the leering gazes of the men shopping, looking at you as if you’re some helpless child, something soft and easy to snap up and eat. You hate the memory of following your father around on many a Sunday morning after he’d forced you to come with him in some false attempt at bonding, at spending time together when really all it was, was another instance of you cowering behind him, trying to make yourself as silent and small as possible so as to avoid his anger and irritation. 
You look back down at the piece of PVC in your clutch, at the picture of what you’re supposed to be buying again, back at the other option, a copper bolt you think might look right but can’t really tell the difference, and you feel the backs of your eyes pinch and go hot and achy. A sharp, throbbing pain starting up behind your left eye and spiraling out like a stain to cover your forehead. You want to go home. You want your kitchen sink to stop leaking. You want the past year to never have happened. For your marriage to not have so irrevocably unraveled that the husband you’d so desperately fought to keep had left you out in the cold, divorced, very nearly penniless in a new apartment that you couldn’t make feel like home no matter how many fall scented candles and throw pillows you stuffed into every nook and cranny. You want to not have to make decisions like these and take care of things like this. You want very, very badly for someone else to come and take care of you, help you, make the choices that seem very hard in the moment but that, in the grand scheme of things, aren’t really so difficult, but that still sometimes call for a second opinion, wiser, more experienced hands. 
And in that next blink, in a soft, deep voice that should not be as easily recognizable in your mind as it is given the handful of times you’ve actually heard it, your name, being murmured from behind you. The lilt of a question, the gruff of shock coating the syllables as it pushes against your bare nape. Soft as a sledgehammer, like ice water down your naked back, your shoulders hitch up to your ears, going tense and frightened, a hot flush of shame spilling through you, the keenest desire to run away from that soft voice as fast as your stupidly October flip flopped feet’ll take you. You hiccup the half sound of his name, not turning around, lashes fluttering quickly to prevent the dry heat of your eyes from spilling over, nerveless fingers going listless around the plastic nut. You don’t want to turn around. This is a cursed place, this hardware store, and you should never have come, and you really do hate it here. Deep breath, deep breath. Be polite, be succinct. You don’t need to talk to him. You don’t need to think about the past. Fuck the sink, fuck the pipes. You’ll just move apartments. You let a long stream of air out of your mouth, and then turn on the ball of your foot to face him. 
“Mr. Miller,” you breathe with a limp smile you know isn’t going to fool anyone. 
He frowns, the line of his mouth wavering as he tries to contain his displeasure. “We really back to that?” You shake your head, looking away from him as the last shopper in the aisle you’re inhabiting walks away, leaving the two of you alone. The store suddenly seems to exist in a vacuum echo, all other patrons seeming to disappear, all sound going out. You even feel the imitation of a hollow pop in your ear drums. When you look back at him, he’s really scowling now. His strong brow pulled down over those too pretty, thickly lashed hazel eyes that you know so well on another man, a younger version of him. 
It was the first thing you’d noticed about him, the first time Sam had introduced you to his father, they have the same eyes. The same but different. There was a coldness to Sam’s gaze that you hadn’t recognized until it was too late for you, but you recognized it now, with a painful sort of awareness, recognized the lack thereof in his father’s eyes, how different they were even in their similarity. 
He raises his brows at you, a pressing gesture, “Joel.” His name feels like salt on an open sore in your mouth. “What are you doing here?” And he looks at you, just a little bit, like you’re an idiot, or maybe that’s only you, for his voice is gentle when he says, “Pickin’ up supplies with some of the boys on my crew. What’re you doin’ here, sweetheart? Sam with you?” Your heart beats like that of a small and hunted creature, pounding painfully against the confines of your ribs while a hot, humiliated flush washes through your entire body, heat suffusing your face so intensely there’s probably steam rising off the surface of your skin. You shake your head quickly, a barely there jerk. You’re suddenly trembling so hard your throat aches as if it’s been pierced by a lancet straight through. Another sharp jerk, and he steps forward a concerned look marring his face. 
“You haven’t spoken to him.” It isn’t a question. 
“He’s been feildin’ my calls for months. Assumed I’d done something– something else, last time to piss him off again. What’s wrong? Everything okay?” He pauses, head tilting, and you can’t look him in the face as you say it, gaze falling to your fingers twisted around the nut. 
“We’re not together anymore. He– he left me. We got divorced six months ago.”
Shocked into silence he takes another step towards you, the toe of his heavy boot coming into your eye line. The ends are thick and rounded, and you wonder if there’s a casing of steel within, how much a kick in the ribs would hurt delivered by a boot like that, and the violent thought startles you, your eyes going wide, shooting up to his face as if worried he could read your thoughts. Ashamed that something like that in reference to him would even cross your mind, for looking at him, the gentleness in his gaze, the utter concern, a man like this would never hurt a creature softer than him, you know that. 
It’s funny, or strange, or a phenomena not easily understandable or explainable unless you’d had a certain type of experience with a certain type of man, but there was a sort of sixth sense instilled in a person who’d dealt with cruel men that made it easy to recognize when one had the capacity to hurt you and when he didn’t. There were, of course, those who were good at masking it, but there was always something, a way they held themselves or moved around others, the cadence of their voices, clues that spoke of the sort of man he was. And from the first moment you’d met him, you’d thought Joel had something that spoke only of gentleness. Despite his size and seemingly rough aspect, there was something about his voice, and the way he carried himself, the way he moved around those who were smaller or weaker or less, less alive, less potent than him, that was always careful and always aware. 
“What?” He moves as if he’s going to reach for you, and you flinch back, the curve of your spine bumping into the framing of the shelves behind you, face turning away quickly. He goes tense, forcing himself into stillness, the white of his teeth flashing in a grimace, but he puts his palms up in a staying gesture, it’s alright, easy, he murmurs, I won’t touch you, hands lowering to fist in the pockets of his jeans into tight balls of false restraint. As if he’s afraid of what they might do of their own volition otherwise. “What do you mean he left you? What happened? He–”
“I don’t want to discuss this with you. Call him again or– or I don’t know. It’s not my business anymore. He was never happy with me,” you stupidly add, finally braving a look back at his eyes again, a bitter laugh scratching up your throat, “You know this. Call your son, Joel.”
You move to leave, to get away from him, but he shifts, blocking your escape, sending your heart up into your throat. “Honey, wait–” but you’re spinning on your heel the other way, stumbling in your flip flops, and you think he says something about the wrong way, but you’re rushing, blindly trying to get away from him down the aisle as fast as you can. You’re going to cry, you can feel it, any second now. You weren’t expecting to see him, the reminder of everything that had happened, your marriage and its failure and the part Joel had played in it. A painful and jarring shock to your nervous system that you’d not been prepared to receive. You blindly scramble through the aisles of the hardware store, losing yourself to the gloom of the dimly lit back rows where plywood and carpeting are stocked, that detested dusty hollow smell intensifying. You take another blind turn, another, until the sounds of the store have gone faint and then a frightening pressurized silence. Bracing your palms against one of the eye level shelves you let your head fall between your shoulders, your bag sliding down your arm to hang and sway at the bend of your elbow. You watch the slow back and forth pendulous movement, eyes wide and blurred. If you don’t blink, you won’t cry, and you’re so fucking tired of crying over this. 
“If you were tryn’a get away from me, exit was in the opposite direction,” comes his voice again. Your eyes flutter shut, a single tear drips from the line of your lashes onto the dusty concrete floor. 
“Please, go away,” you croak.
“Tell me what happened.”
“What do you think happened? Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“He– he’s a fuckin’ idiot, sweetheart–”
Your stomach lurches, “Don’t call me that.”
But he doesn’t listen, continues on unheeded. “There’s gotta be something we can do. I’ll– I’ll talk to him. I’ll make him see that–” You let your head fall back the opposite way now, looking up at the high, cavernous ceiling of the store, another bitter laugh. It’s the only kind left to you now. 
“I don’t want him back, Joel. Be serious.”
“He needs you–” And oh, that makes you angry. 
“Fuck you.” You spin around to spit the words at him, rushing forward to shove at his rock solid chest. He doesn’t budge even half an inch. You shove again, again, a humiliating sob making its way up your chest. You blink then, you can’t help it, the tears fall unrestrained. It’s a specific type of humiliating, facing the estranged father of the man who you’d been married to, who’d been unable to love you, who’d abandoned you. 
Sam and Joel had been unaware of each other’s existence for almost twenty eight years, but two years ago, Sam’s mother had finally told him about his father, his name, where he lived, how they’d gotten together when they were too young, and how she’d split, scared and vulnerable, without telling him a thing. The two of you’d gone looking for the man, and you’d both been varying degrees of shocked at what you’d found. Sam, faced with a man so unlike himself he’d immediately resented him more than he already had for the fact of his absence his entire life. You, as well, faced with a man so unlike your husband that it had made you resent your marriage even more. Immediately welcoming, loving, patient, gracious and generous and forgiving of the fact that a son had been kept from him for almost three decades. Despite the severity of his character, his serious reservedness, he’d done everything in his power to open himself to this long lost son. Not once had the news been met with cruel anger or outrage. Joel had accepted his son immediately and without question, listening to his mother’s reasoning, accepting the fact that a mistake had been made, forgiving, willing to move on and embrace Sam in all the ways he’d been denied for so long. Sam hadn’t been able to fathom it. He’d been mistrustful, hostile, angry, all the things he always was but compounded and heightened to a terrible degree he eventually started taking out on you. 
And it was funny because the fraught, or lack thereof, relationships with your fathers had been the thing that had initially bonded the two of you. Too young and alone and without direction, you’d met him in your last year of college. The relationship had immediately developed without boundaries or reason, you’d been obsessed, a little desperate, unquestioning, and then married a few short months later. Two too young, too lost people, burdened with daddy issues. A terribly sad cliche. You’d never had a chance. You never should have been. And there’s a part of you now, looking up at this man, your ex-husband’s father, that wants to feel angry at him, that wants to spit in his face and say this is all your fault, everything that happened to me, everything that was done to me was in your name, and I blame you for all of it, but you know it’s without reason or countenance. And worst of all, anger, blame, resentment, it’s not anything near to the things you feel when you look at him. The memory of a small, dark restroom flashes in your mind’s eye, his eyes gleaming above your face, the thick slope of his shoulder, the patterned wallpaper behind him, sickening comfort. 
You go still and frozen, fingers twisting in the front of his shirt, jerking with a painful shiver from the top of your head, down the length of your vertebrae, to the tips of your toes that cramp and spasm. Looking up at his face, you can feel a pulse throbbing in the muscle beneath your right eye, and the way he looks down at you, as if he’s never felt as sorry for any other creature in his entire life as he does for you in this moment, so embarrassing. You let your head fall forward again, landing with a soft thump against his chest, an uncontrollable tremble moving like fire through your frame. “Fuck you,” you say again, whispered, soft and weak and without any sort of force behind it. “How dare you say that to me,” another tear. “He’s always needed you. It was never me he wanted, never me he needed. It was always you.” You watch as one hand withdraws from its pocket cage, lifting to push a soft tendril of hair back behind your ear. And there’s fire left in the wake of the brush of his skin at the hollow there. Another shiver of a worse kind, one of desire, one of lust, moves through you. 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it – I’m sorry, honey.” Stupid southern charm and their stupid pet names. You clutch at his shirtfront more tightly, press your forehead harder into his sternum, and he brings his hand to your shoulder, tucking you into himself more securely. He’s huge and warm and smells faintly of salt and sweat and laundry detergent. Something clean and fresh and masculine. He smells alive. His other hand comes up to the back of your head, moving through your hair. Fucking, Sam, he murmurs above you, and you’re sure he’s shaking his head in that disappointed fatherly way. “Tell me what you were looking for. What had you lookin’ so confused and irritated in the plumbing aisle?” You’d laugh if you could, a non bitter sort, but you don’t have the ability anymore, and that makes you so angry. Angry and irrational.
“My sink’s leaking, and I can’t afford a plumber because your son divorced me and left me with no money and no house and nothing for myself, and I hate this stupid place. I hate the way it smells, and I hate that nothing’s labeled clearly, and I hate the way you men,” you shove at his chest a little bit again, “look at me like I’m some dumb little girl who doesn’t know left from right.” Even if that’s what you kind of feel like, a dumb little girl who doesn’t know left from right anymore. Slightly out of breath, you go limp and exhausted against him. His palm flattens at the center of your spine, supporting you, and it’s so fucking inappropriate. You should move away. You don’t know him well enough for this, he’s your ex-father-in-law, you shouldn't let him touch you, but should and should not and right and wrong and inappropriate or not has never really mattered to you where Joel Miller is concerned. “This is the worst place in the whole world,” you mumble, voice muffled from where your face is squished against the annoyingly hard and delicious muscles of his chest. You feel, keenly, like you’re being a little bit ridiculous, a little bit embarrassing, but his big hand is slowly moving up and down the length of your spine, soothing and comforting, and you can’t bring yourself to care. He’d been kind from the first second you’d met him, and then, at the worst moment, he’d been understanding, and you’d never really stood a chance against him either. 
You’d never had a chance with the son, you’d never stood a chance against the father, there had never really been much choice or possibility for you as a whole where either of them were concerned.
I was such a little person. Tiny in my insignificance, naivety, hope. Desperate to be as good as I could be, and pathetic in my failure to make myself into what I thought the world wanted of me. 
“You can’t afford–” He breathes out roughly through his nose, stopping himself from continuing. “Do y’know what it is you’re looking for? What part?” And you nod your head, still buried against him, unable or unwilling to pull away. “Let me help you,” and he says it so, so gently that it makes you want to stomp your foot and cry and throw a fit at the unfairness of it all. 
“Don’t want your help,” you can’t help the muffled whine it comes out as. All you want is for someone to help you. 
“Of course you don’t, sweetheart,�� he soothes. “But let me anyway. S’the least I can do for talkin’ out of my ass.” You finally pull back, looking up at him, and he brings his thumb up to catch the wetness at the fine skin beneath your eye. “Please, don’t cry,” he whispers like it hurts him. 
And even though he’s currently catching the salt of your eyes with his fingers, you lie obstinately, “I’m not,” whispered back just as quiet. 
After he helps you find the correct piece for your sink, finally, which ends up being neither of the options you’d been previously weighing, a fact that almost sends you over the deep end again, and paying for it at his aggravating and overbearing insistence, he walks you to your car. 
“Is he still in Austin?” He asks as he holds your door open for you, your shopping bag still clutched in his hand. One of the guys on his crew had come to find him while you were checking out, but he’d sent him away with a shake of his head, said he had something to take care of. 
“I don’t know, but he sold our house.”
“Fuck– Where’re you living?” The sound of his spit curse has a wet flutter moving through you, shame following bitterly in its wake. 
“I got an apartment in the East Side.”
“And he just left you to fend for yourself? Took your fucking house?” He’s getting angry, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him get angry. Something foreign like excitement jumps within you. 
“Well, that’s the point of divorce, Joel. You separate and are left to your own devices.” You reach for the little plastic bag, but he jerks it out of your reach. 
“He has a responsibility to you. He–”
“Again… the point of divorce.”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, that boy,” he mutters, shaking his head. And that’s the thing of it, you think, that’s always been the crux of the issue. Sam was always a boy, has always been just a boy… there had never been any chance. “Let me come help you with the sink. Let me fix it for you.” Something to take care of, that’s what he’d said, that’s what he’d called you, what he sees you as. 
You’re shaking your head before he can even finish getting the words out, full of regret, and a wish that it could have all been different from the very start. “You know that isn’t a good idea,” and he goes silent because he does, he does know, he’d known since the first time probably. It had been obvious in the way that a secret thing can only be between the two people involved in the unsaid. “I can do it myself. Don’t worry. I’ll find a way.”
“You still got the same number?” He asks.
“Please, don’t call me. Call Sam. He’s the one that needs you. He’s the one that–”
“And who’s taking care of you? Who’s gonna take care of you, sweetheart? You need someone too, we all do.”
A flash of that earlier anger again, and you reach forward to rip the bag out of his clutch now, angry because he’s right. Because he’d always seemed to have a grossly misplaced ability to read you exactly as you are. He’d read you for what you were from the first second he’d laid eyes on you, naive and hopeful and falsely in love with a son who’d never loved either of you in return. “Maybe,” you tell him, “But that can’t be you.” He looks away from you, gruff sound of irritation passing through his clenched teeth, and he drags a heavy palm down his bearded mouth. Fuck, again that provoking spit curse. The wallpaper in that dark restroom had been covered in little blue motifs, butter yellow details sparsed throughout. It had surprised you, the pretty and delicate design in the home of a, for all intents and purposes, bachelor. It spoke of intention and attention to detail, to his space, to care of his home. That dim moment was, strangely, sickly, the brightest memory of the entire two years of your marriage. 
“You still got my number?” He presses anyways. Unheeded or uncaring of you trying to push him away, and there’s something about that, that’s pleasurable, his inability to let a thing go where you’re concerned, his unwillingness to allow you to hold him at arms length. Like he doesnt care to be kept away from you, and so he won’t. You nod your head once, face burning, molars grinding to keep yourself still and in place. You’d felt, for two years, trapped, running in place, and now left limp and exhausted and colorless, and you hope that he can’t read that exhaustion in you. For some reason, that would be more embarrassing than everything else, for him to see just how defeated you’d been left. He gives you one of those looks, those direct, piercing, aggravating looks that you’ve seen from him before, aggravating in a way that is inciting, like a relentless tongue against a slick swollen cunt, God. Your hands are shaking, and he bends his head down to your level to look at your directly, “You promise me that if you need anything, anything at all, doesn’t matter what it is – that you’ll call me. No matter the hour, no matter what it is. Promise me.” Another sharp jerk of your chin, if you talk you’ll scream or make a sound not wholly belonging to the body of a girl, woman, whatever you are. Another nod, the mute shape of an okay passing through your lips. And his face is so concerned, his hand almost lifted in the imitation of what you have to tell yourself, as a form of self preservation, is an ill intentioned caress or hug, but that you know he’d mean as nothing more than genuine comfort. You deflate in relief when he doesn’t touch you, right here, out in the open for the whole world to bear witness to. Things like that, after all, are only meant for dark, wallpapered bathrooms. He’d already taught you this. 
-
The relationship had not been what either of them had expected, Sam and Joel, from the get go. There was a smallness to his son, a pettiness and a cruelty and a spoiled rotten vein through the core of him that was incongruous with who Joel was as a man, something that was glaringly obvious to all involved. And try as he might, in those early days, they could not overcome the disparity in their personalities. The attempts from Joel at closeness had been fraught with tension and unsaid resentments, and eventually Sam had given up, stopped answering his father’s calls, evading his attempts to connect. Your marriage had spiraled into dissolution shortly after that. As if the failure to find whatever it was he’d for so long hoped for in a relationship with his father had highlighted all of the things you yourself lacked, all the ways in which you were so specifically dissatisfying to him and always would be. 
The marriage had not ended up being what either of you had hoped for, the honeymoon phase quashed and dead early on, no brightly lit halcyon. Reality had set in quickly when confronted with the disjointedness of your pairing, a bone out of place, your specific inability to please him in the ways he’d thought you would when he’d first met you. There was something about you that had always been a little bit lacking, something ascetic and cold natured about your personality at times. Since you were a child, trying to appease an unappeasable father, to emulate a singular mother. Always impossible, always falling just short of utter failure. Not so terrible that you were outwardly obvious in your mediocrity, but never everything you could be. Painfully, succinctly average. Sam had come to realize this quickly. Perhaps, unaware prior to tying himself to you because the only thing you’d ever been not average at, was being a little bit of a liar, of being placatingly complacent when the moment necessitated, manipulative in a way that you found protecting. But you see, that’s what happened when you had a cruel father who always needed appeasing, something Sam, in his abject fatherlessness, couldn't understand. Funny, you’d said that to him once, near the end, called him abjectly fatherless, his weakness a consequence of his lack of a paternal role model, and oh, how he’d hated that. Endings could bring out such cruelty in people, you’d found. 
But the manipulation of a moment had become, in some ways, your only talent. The art of superficial gratification at a moment's notice as a way to keep the people around you falsely happy and calm. Like all small and frightened creatures, you’d learned your strengths well, but as all truths do, yours had eventually surfaced. The fact that you weren’t really so appeasing in the ways he desired, not so nice, not so perfect, not so subservient. That the persona was all just a way to keep him happy as a means of getting someone to love you, to stay because you didn’t know how else to be. 
Your mother always said you could’ve been nicer to him. She was a kind, soft, patient thing. Quiet and easy and always, always, above everything else, understanding. It was the worst thing about her. A detriment, a weakness, and she resented you for your resentment, for seeing her as such, but you could never help it. Always asking you why you couldn’t just be a nice girl, a good girl. 
You didn’t think you had not been nice, not been good. You had only been yourself.
Your father had always hated that about you, you being yourself. The man you’d chosen to marry didn’t seem to like it very much either. And she’d tried to instill her better qualities in you, your mother, so you weren’t all bad all the time. There could be a brightness and a lightness and a sweetness to you sometimes, it’s true. You weren’t always all bad. But there was – is still – also a bitterness and a resentment and an anger, a screaming that you could not quell no matter how hard you tried. And so you’d attepted to give him everything you could, your husband, everything you had at your disposal in all ways, to do and be all he could have ever asked of you during those two small years of marriage. Because truly, they had felt so very small, made you even smaller. 
Everything except for sex. You’d never been able to give him that the way he’d wanted. 
At first, it had been normal, sweet, soft missionary in the darkness, tepid insinuations of orgasms, always hushed, always exactly how he wanted it. But eventually, when the other parts of you began to fail, he got mean and callous and casually cruel. And as you pulled away physically, he called you frigid, a prude, boring, cold, bad in bed, didn't know how to make a man hard. And it had made you so agonizingly insecure, already a sensitive and anxious thing when it came to your physical form, he’d beaten you down, embarrassed you, belittled you.
With time, you’d realized the truth of it which had been nothing more than that you’d never really wanted him. He had never made you desperate, he had never made you wet. It was his character, his attitude, yes, but it was also him. He just wasn’t it for you, and it wasnt that you were a prude or frigid at all, only that you needed patience and understanding and care, gentleness. Things he possessed none of. 
You just needed a little time to warm up and someone who wanted to give you that time. 
The reality that your life had not been full of varied and foolish adventures, and that time had seemed to simply slip away like an echo in the brain from one moment to the next was duly painful. A handful of months of wan and false lust, two years of cold, bitter marriage, and now, six months of barren aloneness. Too many mistakes had been made, too many regrets, three big ones that could be held like stones scorched to burn by the sun in the palm of your hand so that even if you let them go eventually, their imprint would still be scarred into your flesh afterwards forever.
So, perhaps the divorce had been painful in the moment. Or not perhaps, there was nothing uncertain about it, you’d fought tooth and nail to make it work, to keep him with you. Prostrated and humiliated and debased yourself. But with time, it became obvious that it was a fantasy you decided you should finally cast aside, as all children do childish things at a certain age. And then, it had been the easiest thing in the world. After all, and let’s be honest now for a moment, the reckoning had come in the shape of his father. That is, at the end of it, the reason you’re really here. 
Sat now, before the open cabinet below your kitchen sink, leaky pipe drip, drip, dripping monotonously in front of your glazed over eyes, you think of him. He’s a large man, intimidating and dark and stoic. Taller and broader than his son. Lush, mahogany curls streaked with silver that speak of age and experience like the smile lines around his eyes. Deeply grooved when he laughs that beautiful laugh of his. He looks exactly like the opposite of whatever his son is, like he’d have the ability to make the opposite of you, to pull out of you whatever the antithesis is of what his son was able to. It had been immediate, the nature of your thoughts towards him. The desire, the desire, the desire, you had wanted like you’d never wanted before — like an illness, like dying. 
Your marriage had been circling the drain, and then you’d met him, and it should have been innocuous. He’d been kind and polite and welcoming, but also, aloof. Holding himself at a distance, something afraid that he carried within himself, like he didn't want to hope, like he was just a little bit scared of what it meant now to have a son, something to lose. You knew a little bit about that, the worst part of it all is never the cruelty, it’s the hopelessness. Everything had become so much worse after meeting him. An unbearable sort of awareness of something that your listless, frigid self recognized as man, man, man, something like hunger. Something slanted about the desire, wrong, sure, for he was your husband's father, and yet, you wanted him. You wanted to know what he smelled and tasted like, and what the weight of his cock on your tongue would feel like. If it was bigger than his sons, you were almost positive of that, if it would stretch the corners of your mouth to near splitting, the hinges of your jaw to aching. 
You’d met your husband's father, and had realized, painfully, with uncompromising clarity, all that your husband could be, all that he was not, all that he would never be. There was no comparison between the boy and the man, and it made you hurt. 
Your eyes flit back to the screen of your open laptop and the instructional video there, popping another fuzzy peach gummy onto the flat of your tongue, mouth full of sucking sugar. You’re going to fix this sink if it’s the last thing you do, and you’re not going to think about him again. But tomorrow, you’ll start not thinking about him tomorrow. The talent of a liar never really wanes.
The apartment is quiet, nothing but the cheerful crackling of your sweet pumpkin candle and the mocking splish splash of the drain pipe. You had, in recent weeks, come to think of your abandonment as something of an accomplishment. Perhaps, your loneliness is a good thing, you’ll tell yourself as a comfort, a sort of friend; you can’t be used against yourself again in this solitude, and oh, how you’d been used. That anemia in your character, the ascetic thread of your personality had been weaponized and wielded against you until you couldn’t tell up from down and left from right. You were certain there’d been cheating, even if you’d never had any proof to confirm it, merely grateful you’d never gotten sick as way of evidence. But you knew. And it could've been so much worse for you, of course, of course it could have. But he’d left your mind so off kilter, broken and confused and not yourself. Utterly damaged in a way that was humiliating and devastating when you thought of the way you’d been, such a little person. So often, not a woman, just a little girl. 
And then his father. Joel. Seeing him today – you had never felt the way you should have felt towards him. Like your eyes were open, awake for the first time in your entire life. A man like that – he was changing. And you wanted, needed very much to be changed. Seeing him today, being presented with that reminder of what he was, how he made you feel, how he’d always made you feel. There’s something ghoulish about you concerning him – about this desire. That ascetic or anemic or under-grown, illformed thing about you, exterminated in the thrum of how alive he is. How unlike his son. You’d never known what it specifically was, never been able to categorize it, and then there had been that moment, brought so low, six feet beneath the ground sort of debased, and he’d been there and you had been – unburdened from the weight of his own son, by him, and you’re not even sure he knew the extent of it. The power he’d wielded over you in that moment in the dark. And you can’t say it out loud, what it is you’d want from him, you can’t even say out loud what it is about him that changes you as it does – not a woman, just a little girl – but you think that if you could just see him, then you’d know, or maybe you could be brave. You don’t know what it is, but you’d know it then, with him in front of you, you’d have the answer to this question that’s plagued you for so long – how to be yourself in a way that is good.
You’re pushing yourself to your feet, fueled by the thought, fingers gripped over the ledge of the counter to pull yourself up, sink forgotten, stumbling to your front door, shoving your feet into your shoes and fumbling for your keys. How to be yourself in a way that is good. 
When you were seventeen, your father had been at his angriest. Angry in that way that all angry father’s are. Loud and brutish – an anger that is cowing, a sign of true weakness. Brute force in the shape of the man who gave you life. When you think of it now, even as a grown woman, you still feel that phantom limb of fear, and you know that it isn’t normal for a grown woman to be afraid of her father, and yet you are. And then to think that you’d gone from your parents home directly to the bed of the same sort of man, one even crueler, if possible. You’re forced to laugh your singular terrible, self deprecating laugh at the irony of it – even worse, if possible. For what’s worse than a person who constantly needs to be soothed into kindness and patience and calm? 
Once, in that terrible seventeenth year, funny and strange and unknowingly perfect, you’d been gifted the Farmer’s Almanac by your elderly neighbor. She’d said that she’d read it since she was a girl, liked the peace in knowing that the year had been predicted by experts and put down on paper. It made life seem more secure, more in control in a small way. You’d needed that during that turbulent time, locked in your teenage bedroom, lulled to sleep by the sound of your father’s anger and the year’s long-range weather predictions before your blurry eyes. It was so comforting to be able to read the future in text, catastrophe or sunshine, at least it was there. You still read it to this day. And there’s no congruity to the thought now, as you crawl into your car, a ghoul in the night, banging your knee on the hastily opened car door, sprouting gooseflesh in the cold; this desire, desire, desire that is the worst thing you’ve ever felt in your whole life, and yet, you can’t bring yourself to stop because there is something about control in this moment also. Control like knowing what the future will be like on paper, control like a man who is entirely grown into himself, who knows who he is and who he is not and is not uncertain, who will not yell, who will not hurt you. He has this – your husband’s father – you know he does. There is something about control, there is something about knowing how a thing will be, there is something about being yourself in a way that is good. 
-
You’d picked up the wrong wine on your way here. Rushing, trying to fix your makeup in the car, you’d gotten confused, chosen the one he didn’t want instead of the one he did. And it was nothing, or an accident, surely nothing to incite his ire, but he’s so fucking angry hovering in front of you. He looks at you, now sometimes, like he hates you, like you’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. He said you’d humiliated him in front of his father. That he was going to think he didn’t have good taste, couldn’t afford a decent bottle of wine. And you don’t know Joel very well, but he doesn’t seem like the type of man to care about such things. Calling you an idiot in that poisoned shrill tone he takes on when he’s delivering a set down, and you’re trying to tell him to please, please keep your voice down, Sam, your father is going to hear you. You’d heard someone say once that a truly powerful man never feels the need to raise his voice, it simply isn’t necessary for him, and you’re reminded, terribly, of your father, with the sight of your shrill and seething husband in front of you.  And then a low toned that’s enough, son from the mouth of the kitchen, and it’s so much worse, entirely catastrophic in a way, and you’re rushing away so humiliated, face on fire, tear caught over the trough of your lower lid, trying the doors in the hallway for the nearest restroom. You hear the murmur of voices, one struggling to maintain composure, the other, cool and steady, then the slam of the front door, and finally, the silent din of his house settling around the two of you as you find a restroom to hide in. Your heart beats so fast it makes you nauseous, knees strangely aching, listening to the heavy steps of Joel’s boots, as if he’s trying to warn you with those measured, weighted thuds that he’s coming, coming, coming for you. Turning to face the far corner of the restroom, you press your palm over your mouth, face slippery and burning and so stupid, the soft swoosh of the opening door, a paused breath as he takes in your form huddled into the wallpaper, and then the muted snick of the door closing behind him, shutting the two of you away together.
Part II
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eaterofman · 6 months
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Yandere Coworker Harem x New Hire Reader: A Meeting with the CEO
Follow up to this post
Finally fed up with it all, you decide to leave... but you learn it may not be that easy.
Content Warnings: General creepiness, yanderes, financial manipulation, manipulation, power difference, gaslighting
AN: Holy shit the first part blew up, more so than any post I've ever made on tumblr... ever. Thank y'all, and I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations? Had to ignore a few asks since they were essentially the plot to this part, haha.
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As nice as Jake is... it starts to wear on you. The seclusion from your other coworkers, Warren and Jax's constant attention, it all becomes too much. This was the easiest money you've ever made, but it almost felt... condescending in a way. Seriously, you feel like you haven't actually worked in months, just given simple tasks to complete so that Jax could praise you. Otherwise, you felt like you were just eye candy set in a pretty office. No more, you figure. You make up your mind to go back to HR, it's been a long time coming. They either fix it, or you're gone.
With your mind made up, you return to Leon. He'd been so kind before, surely he'd help, right? As you explain your problems to him, he nods and gently smiles. In your distress, you don't notice his hand moving to cover yours, massaging yours comfortingly. You welcome the comforting sensation, overwhelmed to the point of not really considering the implications. You look into his dark eyes as you finish, silently pleading with him for help.
"That really is something. I'm sorry to hear your experience with the company has been so distressing. Tell me, do you have any proof?"
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His demeanor seems to shift instantly back to the colder man you remember from your first sight of him. His fingers rubbing gentle circles into your palm shift into a harsher grip.
"Proof? I-I mean, the cameras have probably caught something?"
You'd say there were eyewitnesses, but all of your other coworkers had been avoiding you. You barely even knew their names...
"Unfortunately, our cameras have been malfunctioning lately, I doubt they'd catch anything. Without any actual witnesses, I'm afraid I can't do anything for you."
"How can you say that without even looking? This place is insane- you know what? I'm just quitting. I can't take this anymore."
You try to remove your hand but he keeps it there. His gaze is suddenly ice cold. He lets your hand go after a few moments of tension, fingers lingering before you yank your hand to your chest.
"Ah, you could quit... but I'd really recommend against it. You'd of course have to pay the dues you signed in your contract, as well as any additional fees. I'm not in charge of finances, but my estimate would be somewhere around... 200 thousand or so?"
You gasp, blood running cold. 200 thousand?! You don't remember signing that, but you also don't recall really reading over the contract in your excitement. You try to think of a way out, surely there had to be some sort of loophole-
"Of course, there's always the option of asking the CEO to change your contract, but..."
You'd tuned anything after that out, insisting to meet with the CEO as soon as possible. Which, to your surprise, was almost immediately. Almost like he'd been... waiting for you? Leon himself lead you to the CEO's room, at the very top of the skyscraper your office resided in. As you're let in, you're met with the biggest office you'd ever seen. It composed of the entire top floor of the skyscraper, massive windows encircling the entire ornate office.
You really try to ignore the feeling that you're walking into a trap.
The CEO was patiently waiting for you. Like a king on a throne, he sat in the middle of the room in front of a surprisingly simple desk. You'd heard of the CEO, Kennedy Grey, but you'd never met him in person before. He had an air of sophistication around him, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair and a well trimmed beard. His suit was pristine and looked expensive, probably costing more than your entire yearly salary. He smiled, urging the two of you to sit. His eyes glanced over to Leon's, a slight smirk on his face as if the two were in on a joke you weren't.
"So, what brings you two here? I've heard very good things about you from Jax. Things are going well, I presume?"
You fidget, despite his welcoming tone, he felt oddly... menacing. Like you weren't supposed to disagree with him, even if he asked you a question. You begin to explain your issues, but are quickly stopped with a firm look of disapproval when you bring up the idea of leaving the company.
"Now now, we can't have that, can we? With your contract, that wouldn't be a very smart idea, would it?"
Before you can even respond, he simply continues to talk over you.
"No, no it wouldn't. And you've just been such a good worker, we'd just hate to lose you."
"Well, I was actually hoping we could talk about the contract, I just don't think it's fair-" you can barely get your thoughts out as he cuts you off again.
"Unfair? But my dear, you signed it. I'd just hate to get my lawyers involved... they're top of the line, y'know? Besides, you don't actually want to leave, you're just... stressed. What do you need, a paid week off? A bonus for your hard work?"
"No-"
"Well, now that that's done, let's get back to work, shall we? You'll have a bonus on your next pay-"
You've had enough of his condescension and interruptions, it's time for you to interrupt him.
"You know what, I'll take the lawsuit. You people are insane. You can have the money if you want, but I'm out of here."
As you get up, you find you can't. Leon has moved behind you, surprisingly strong arms holding your chair in, preventing you from moving. You look up at him in angered confusion, but he's sharing a look with Kennedy. You once again feel like you're missing an important part of an inside joke again. You try to struggle, but you're stopped as Kennedy interrupts.
"Apartment 101, Evergreen Apartments, right?"
"W-wha-"
"You know, I've been venturing into the rental market recently. Very profitable at the moment. I actually just bought a few buildings in your area, including your little apartment. Such a shame, you know you could do better, right? All you have to do is ask..."
He smiles at you as if this was a normal conversation to him, like he was doing you a favor.
"I guess that makes me your landlord now, if you think about it!" his smile turns colder, eyes crinkling like he's laughing at you, "That being said, I just don't see how you're going to pay for the rent increase without this job. I hate to do it, but it's a necessity, y'know? Cost of living and such."
He waves his hand like it's no big deal, like he isn't playing with your livelihood and threatening you.
"You could move out, of course, but well, word gets around, and I just don't know how the other investors in the area would react to your... history."
You feel dread well up in the pit of your stomach and tears in your eyes. He... has you. What could you even do? Moving out of the city would mean starting over, and that's if you could even find a place and a job to pay for said place, and paying for the lawsuit-
In your panic, you can only whimper, "I just... why? Why me? i don't understand-"
"That's the beauty of it all, you don't have to. All you have to worry about is coming in and doing your job. We'll handle all the rest."
You jump, having almost forgotten Leon was behind you in your panic. You go to open your mouth-
"Wonderful insight, Leon. Now that we're all on the same foot, let's get back to work, shall we?"
You can only numbly nod your head, too overwhelmed to continue fighting.
You're finally allowed to sit up and begin walking towards the door, trying to speed walk out of the huge room that somehow managed to feel claustrophobic. You just wanted out at this point, you needed somewhere to think.
As you step into the elevator, Leon staying behind in the office-thank god-you're interrupted one final time.
"Oh, and I meant what I said. If you ever need any assistance, anything at all, just come to me. All you have to do is ask."
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