Do u think homie will get upset if he dreamt that u cheated on him lmao I just imagine him being all grumpy and needy and you have no idea whats going on
...lmao.
Homelander's been all over you today, but it's different from his usual smothering, affectionate neediness. He's unbelievably grouchy. No matter how much attention you pay him, you can't seem to pull him out of this foul mood.
Finally, you ask him, "Okay, seriously, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," he says, which tells you it's of course not nothing. His arms are crossed as tightly as a drawn bow, and you've been listening to his teeth grinding all day.
You hum softly. "Is it work related?"
"No." His nostrils flare slightly as he realizes he's just admitted that there is something.
With a tiny curve to your lips, you nod. "Is it something I did?"
"Yes," he says sharply, though his arms loosen after a beat. "Well, no. But yes."
"Oohh, cryptic. I love a good mystery," you tease.
He's wholly unamused. "Don't laugh at me."
"Don't be so cute."
"No, no," he says, pointing at you. "Don't pull that on me. You cheated on me."
Your amused expression flips, immediately overtaken by your surprise. "Excuse me? I what?"
"Last night," he says, his words tight from his clenched jaw. "In... a dream."
You make the mistake of laughing anyways, and Homelander bristles. You quickly put a hand up. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I'm just relieved," you say, smoothing your hands down his arms.
"You're relieved that I'm having nightmares about you cheating on me?" He asks, aghast.
"I'm relieved that you don't think I actually cheated on you," you clarify. "But I am sorry that you had that dream. You know that's all it was, though, right?"
You watch him roll his tongue between his teeth. "Right."
"Okay, good," you coo, guiding him to the couch. "And you know I'd never do that, right?"
He sits, stiff at first, but as soon as he realizes you're easing him into your lap, he practically flops his head down on your thighs, staring up at you with a petulant purse to his lips. "Right."
"Good," you say again, stroking your fingers through his hair. "Because I love you very much, and it would break my heart to hurt you like that. Right?"
Begrudgingly, the tilt of his lips curves up into a small smile. "Mmhm."
"Right?" You push, scraping your nails along his scalp.
He sighs, the tension from his shoulders melting. "Right."
"Good," you say a final time, bending down to press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes fall shut, simply enjoying the caress of your fingers along his scalp, his forehead, and behind his ears, despite the occasional bout of ticklishness.
After a time, you idly ask, "So... Who'd I cheat on you with?"
His eyes snap open, brows furrowing. "What?"
"Who'd I sleep with? I mean... they must have been gorgeous to pull me away from-" You cut yourself short, letting go a peal of laughter when he abruptly sits up.
Knowing what's coming, you take off running.
"C'mere!" He growls, narrowly missing catching your wrist as you flee from him, but you know you won't be able to outpace him for long. You half scream, half laugh as he snatches you around the waist and hauls you up into the air, both arms wrapped around you middle. "Alright, it's happening."
"No! Please! Have mercy! I have children!" You scream, kicking frantically through the air.
"What? No you don't," he says, walking you to the bedroom.
You continue to thrash. "My future children!"
With that, he tosses you onto the bed with ridiculous ease. You bounce twice before settling. You try to scramble off of it, but he swiftly pins you down.
"No!" You cry out, already laughing in anticipation. "Mercy! Mercy!"
Homelander shows you no mercy. He tickles you until you cry, and then dutifully kisses the salty streaks away.
Ultimately, you suppose it's a fitting punishment for your infidelity.
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