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kit-just-kit · 8 months

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COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

*That Kit, as a therapist, has her shit together. She does not lol. Yes she outwardly appears confident, calm, collected but, it only takes a small scratch at the surface to reveal the mess underneath. She's very unconfident concerning her appearance and so, is doing everything she can to stay physically fit and healthy. However, that has not resulted in any kind of 'surgical' or 'aesthetical' help as yet. Also, and this is the bigger issue, she very much suffers from self-doubt about her abilities as a therapist due to how badly the Sebastian debacle reduced her to a shadow of her former self. She tries so hard to get back to where she was, mentally and professionally speaking. But it is a long road*

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON

*Oooooh I would say that the HC I created around her current aversion to marriage and commitment is one of my favourites. Basically, Kit does not thing this is for her, given that she's done it twice and both ended. She figues that she is the common denominator in both failed marriages and so, she should probably stay away from it. It's important especially to any ship-partners to know this because should the subject of getting wed arise, she'll most likely try and wheedle her way away from it. This is NOT an indication that she does not love the other muse, only that she doesn't want to lose them as she did her two previous husbands*

A USELESS HEADCANON

*The one that while Kit is an excellent cook, she can't bake for toffee. Admittedly a complete self-insert because that is, in fact, the case with me and people always comment that someone who can master most cuisines yet can't handle even something as simple as an apple crumble, is apparently hilarious! Useless but I think it's kinda funny too so, there it is!*

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

*Hmmmm....... for Kit it would be controlling behaviour in a partner, being taken for granted, disrespect, rudeness.

For me......people trying to convince me to change aspects of Kit to fit what they want from her/the writing. The way this usually presents itself is suggestions that Kit suddenly become bi-curious or attracted to a particular female. Kit loves and adores her female friends whole-heartedly, she is their greatest defender and promoter but, she doesn't harbour any latent romantic or sexual feelings for them. End of story. Those who push this matter with me, or worse try to insinuate that my non-negiotiable stance on it is akin to some form of homophobia, will be blocked sharpish, okay?*

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM

*Her sarcasm, wit and overall lovely demeanour. Though at the same time writing EvilKit gives me the opportunity to portray her as an exact opposite while still keeping her sarky and witty lol*

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM

*Chances are I'm gonna love deep and hard on your muse, even if they are completely horrid and morally reprehensible. That being the case, Kit or EvilKit probably will too lol*

tagged: @wynterlanding (thanks gorgeous!)

tagging: @adsagsona, @brooklynislandgirl, @brokenblondeprincess, @becomelions, @consultingsister, @cardiomyapathy, @coinquinatvs, @daslanv, @dontcxckitup, @ericbrandonrp, @giildedcage, @goodlawman, @hcze, @id1eyouth, @justafleck, @kingofthewebxxx, @little-earthquakes-rp, @laviexenrose, @luckhissoul, @libdemdisaster, @mettleborn, @onlydevilsleft, @pupil-of-law, @propertyofseagate, @ronmanmob, @rugini, @rosystain, @rhaigal, @richardxoliverxmayhew, @sirxnx, @theresastargirl, @therealgamble, @tarnishedhalo, @themxgicman, @whosxafraid, @warxandxplastics, @worldofsenelfy, @xlostparadise (please tag me so I can read your answers?)

#about kit #about mun #rp stuff

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years

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The Remembrance Of A Kiss

I was feeling nostalgic for a fic which I wrote almost three years ago called Zeta-7 and The Kiss; it was written back when I first started writing Rnm fics. While, I don't write how I used to, I am fond of it. So, here's this finished wip. I think I'm running on nostalgia these days, for things are changing faster then I can keep up with. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. It's guaranteed to be fluffy :3

In this fic the reader thinks about a past momentous moment.

_____________________

The trouble and light anxiety you had felt about the occasion had been insignificant compared to his. Back then you had been searching for an answer or rather a solution to a predicament; the problem at the time being that you weren't sure how to broach the subject of a certain display of affection. It was neither a lack or an abundance of affection, and it seems silly now when you thought of it, which was often, but when and where had your inclination to kiss him first begin? It might have always been there, but that statement in itself seemed like a lie, for you didn't want to kiss him when you initially met him, but he had been influential; recognizing you from another time, another life, but that wasn't what you came here to talk about. No, you wanted to think of that fateful day.

That day he had been in his usual delightful mood, the kind that came about because he got to see you and was genuinely having a good day; although, with him, he tended to find good in every day and as expected he was deliciously cheerful and had a smile which could last for days upon his thin lips. Oh, how you had loved that smile for it followed you everywhere, even when you couldn't seem him; that haircut which had been copied from an old clothing catalog advertisement and moved about when he spoke; buck teeth which dentists could only dream to keep as trophies, and the hint of lip bite when he'd finished talking; it was part of the draw. You fought, swallowed, and bided your time as you thought of the ways in which you could show him you loved him. For you, there was a momentum, a force which couldn't have been stopped; beginning with his hellos, and would build as you continued to be so affected and had been desperate to satisfy the longing and affection which pulled and drowned your senses whenever he was near; it made you reason that it was the right thing to do; to express and ask if it was alright to move forward; it was and he agreed, but he never quite recovered from being kissed.

No, you didn't mean all the kisses which occurred after and had taken place up to the present per se, but from the first one you had given him around the start of your relationship; having made such an impression, it was as though you had branded his heart and soul; that a string was tied to one of your ribs and to one of his ventricles which kept him alive only by his sheer will to withstand the forces and madness that threatened to tear him apart daily; he could never recover. You would say that he grew a little more mature that day; in mind, spirit, but not in age. To be sure, things had been so different then; Rick had been so shy when it came to romantic sensibilities, naive to others advances or otherwise natural attraction to him, believing he was unworthy of such while you had so much to learn about the mysteries of men; neither knew what the other had been going through. You hadn't known about his otherworldly adventures yet, his loneliness, or uniqueness, and he knew almost everything except your personality quirks, but as to how he knew was a different story.

Still, that was then, back when there was so much yet to be known, and you thought him to be human. You remembered how for days, he walked as though in a daze, bumping into things and hardly able to look you in the eyes without being lovestruck and tongue-tied; you were sure to watch after him to make sure you hadn't given him a stroke and assured him that he shouldn't deny his worth. Why it seemed even now he could barely function without being a little goofy after a kiss, but it was endearing; you hadn't known then about how he had been starved for affection due to lack of family and circumstances. Yet, if you had any doubts, they certainly were lessened by his attentiveness and wanting to please.

You were sure others might've tired of this behavior long ago, and you had your days in when you thought you weren't capable of managing it all, but for every time you came crashing down, he was there to help you even when you didn't want him to; for every tear and moment of grief, there was his affection which he returns out of love, gratitude, and fear all at once. Oh, if you knew then what you knew now, you would've confessed earlier; let him know how much you had cared, and tried harder to be a better friend. Still, you were making it up to him and doubted you'd ever finish making it up to him. And because he was forever grateful and happy when you kissed him, you decided to ask him one day what it was that he found so dazzling about it and to your shock, his answer endeared him to you all the more. "It's like saying h-hello." he answered matter of factly.

"Really? In what way?"

"Gosh," he wondered, scratching the back of his neck. "it's uh - it's like touching hands, but instead of the formality of a-a handshake, you touch lips to greet and exchange not only DNA but affection. Culture or whoever happens to partake in this ritual may affect its meaning, but in such an awe-inspiring way I believe it's a reminder of trust and union; albeit more intimate."

Was that how he had felt back then? Had it been a social experiment or a daydream that had come into fruition? Perhaps neither. Maybe, he was concerned that you'd be disappointed if that so-called spark wasn't there, but the good thing was you relied more on just sparks. "So, what you mean to say is that in a sense those who kiss are bonded?"

"I th-think so."

And you believed him, for when it came to such matters, he was sincere. Why it must've hit him harder than it ever will with you, but you blamed being a creature of natural circumstance for that; your childhood and life had been happy and general for the most part, while his had more loops in it then the Whirly Dirly. Thinking of it now, the consequence of your affection was that he took to you so strongly, you were sure that if something happened to you, it might kill him; the thought being burdensome in its own right.

You had never thought of pairing the word passionate with him, but his sensibilities to and of the world in which he existed in as well as to interactions with the beings in it made you wonder if there was anything or anyone he could truly hate; himself perhaps for that was who he was most affected by.

"Rick," you started, pushing away the unsettling thoughts as you set down the book you had been reading. "I think that's sweet. You certainly have a knack for seeing the poetic nature behind the reality, but what are your thoughts on the people who kiss for fun?"

He ruminated for a moment. It might've occurred to him that people didn't always kiss with the intention of forming serious relationships, but he would be sure to make a note of finding out later. "Gosh, I'm sure there are some benefits t-t-to it, though I haven't done much research on the matter."

Who knew where one would begin on such a subject. There were books on both physiology and psychology, but did any of them go into the happenstance of a kiss? You hadn't thought of checking, but knowing the intelligent man that he was, perhaps he had looked into it. "Research huh? Dear," you explained, "people don't just research kisses as though they are studies or hypothesized."

"Th-they don't?"

"At least not that I know of. I mean, people simply see and do. Don't they? Is there more?"

"Y-yes and no. It depends on the species."

"Hmm, I guess it does."

Again, you wouldn't know. There must've been planets, realities, and universes whose signs of affection transcended that of action, but while it was a fascinating thought, you were glad that in your reality that wasn't the case in its entirety. Searching his face, you found that his brow was scrunched up together, wondering if there was more to it. You had thought the question innocent enough, he, on the other hand, wouldn't be satisfied until he found the truth behind your inquiry. Not being one to try to disappoint him, you turned towards him and nodded. "However, I have my own answer. If you come closer I can show you what I mean."

Removing his glasses, he scooted closer; curious to see if the answer was somehow in your pocket or hiding on his face. The trust which allowed him to focus on you with conviction as you approached him was palpable. Lightly, you brushed back his bangs and passed your fingers lightly over his frown lines. Silly man, he thought too much for his own good, but if he had been unsure earlier, then the blush which dusted his ears and cheeks said otherwise. Stretching up, you pressed a light kiss on his forehead; not unlike the ones he'd give you when he thought you were asleep. And you smiled at him from the bottom of your heart. In turn, he chuckled in happy amusement; boyish in the way his eyes glimmered as though he had gotten a new toy. "Gee, that was - that was swell, but I-I don't understand. Wh-what was that for?"

"I see you and I must kiss you. It's practically the law." you giggled before repeating the action.

"Are y-y-you sure?" he wondered, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

Pulling back a little, you nodded. "I'm positive. Especially since it's what you deserve."

The light chuckle which escaped him only fed your joy as you peppered him with kisses. And before you could see it, you felt him smiling and glowing with happiness as his goofy grin returned with a vengeance.

"Gosh," he sighed with contentment, "I-I learn something new everyday."

"I bet you do, but really a kiss is nothing to think too hard about."

"I-I know."

"If anything, I think it's based on a feeling. For example," you paused to give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts together. "the reason I kiss you is the same reason I've always had and it's because I care about you. In my own way, it's like I'm saying, 'Hello, I missed you, come here, I love you. Oh, I love you so very much. Thank you, for simply existing and being here with me.' Maybe we both have the same reason as to why words sometimes aren't enough, and while a kiss is simple, it's not always so easy to execute, but nothing is wrong with that. It's all done in its own time. In its own way. I am happy you let me kiss you way back when, because I adored you so much that it hurt. I still adore you, and you'll always be precious to me."

Glancing at you in wonderment, he played with his fingers then searched your face again. In his soul, he knew you weren't lying, but since you've first known him, he always seemed to be searching, as well as fighting his self-condemning mind and heart especially having been injured so many times. As though you had a world of answers for some of his simple questions that he would've otherwise been too embarrassed to ask, he'd open his mouth just to close it again. You had assured him on multiple occasions that he could ask you anything, but his bashful nature gave allowances for this; endearing in its own right. Once he seemed satisfied, he took out his notepad and wrote down some notes; if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was writing a thesis by the way the words slanted and blended into one another as he concentrated on the details, all the while sporting that lovestruck grin. "What are you writing dear? Is it a love letter? Is it about the trees, or bees, or whatever goes about in that wonderful head of yours?"

"I'm updating my notes."

This much you knew. "But on what? Not on kissing, right? That would be something." you teased.

"N-n-no," he answered softly, "but on you."

"Is that right? Is there any particular reason?"

"Mhm," he nodded. "so I won't forget."

What a silly man he was, you thought. "It's ok to forget things, but I'm sure you won't. Besides, who forgets the first person they kiss?"

"N-not me."

"Of course not, especially with all the reminders that come after. I doubt I will, but reminders are appreciated. I wouldn't want to forget how happy you make me."

Slowing down his note-taking, he mentioned. "I like reminders too."

Of course he did. From years of journal keeping to the multiple watches and small computers that were scattered about the house, for there was so much going on in his head he needed help keeping his train of thought straight. It was just another way of saying in so many words, how much he loved you. "So do I. And trust me, I'll be sure to remind you a lot. As much as you need, and as often as I can. Hopefully," you winked at him. "I'll be reminded soon."

Giving your hand a squeeze, he softened. "I um - I don't mind reminding you. I-I really like reminders."

"I know, but do you like them more than adventures, or as far as that ship in the garage will take you?" you teased.

Replacing the notepad in his pocket, he nodded. "As far as 238,855 miles w-will take me."

Miles or kilometers were but measurements and distance, but that distance you were sure was not on Earth. "Do you mean to the moon?"

Pressing a light kiss to your temple, he answered. "Por supuesto, y-y más allá de eso. Please, don't forget"

Forget? Why would you forget? If there was a prelude, it was the flutter and happy giddiness which occurred when you caught him off guard, but to whatever came after, it was effervescent, sweet, and addictive. And while it could be said about a lot of things, he was far more complex. You see, you never recovered from being kissed, because you were enticed by his charm, and won by his goodness, but a kiss sealed the deal; for now and forever you belonged to him and you weren't going to let him forget it. Cupping his cheek, you replied. "I won't and I never will Ricky. You can bet on that," as you leaned forward, you whispered. "and seal it with a kiss."

Fin

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rock-n-roll-refugee · 5 years

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Ultraviolence~Chapter 1

I had to rewrite this because I forgot to save it... shoot me

PART 2 OUT NOW ON MY PAGE (I’m too lazy and dumb to link)

Peter Parker x Villain!Reader

A/N: This is something I wanna try, and I know I suck at writing and sticking to one project so let’s see how well this goes. And if y’all like this please let me know I feed off your complements :( also idk what The Hand is, i know its from Daredevil, but I'm just using it randomly. sorry

warnings: a lot of swearing lol, violence, blood

If you watched A Clockwork Orange you would know that the storyline follows a madman’s twisted descent into normality. Substitute Def Leppard for the old Ludwig Van and you have the tragic story of (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

She had many similarities to the infamous Alex Delarge in which they both are mentally deranged and crave that sweet taste of violence. (Y/N) also took part in somewhat of a gang, but it wasn’t like Alex’s droogs. It was more of an ancient organization of assassins than a gang, but nonetheless, she was on the wrong side of the law. The organization was called The Hand and she was taken in by Bakuto, the leader, when she was only four after her father killed her mother and abandoned a very young (Y/N) on the streets. Her father was a rouge member and destroyed his family so he could escape for himself. Or at least that was the story she was told. Bakuto took her in because he saw potential, or maybe it was just her superhuman powers, for she had the ability to manipulate the elements into any weapon of choice making her an excellent weapon for The Hand.

It was a typical mission, take out a corrupt entrepreneur who had got caught in a bad situation with some bad people. It was a task that she had preformed many times over many years, but today was different. It was her first solo mission.

“Its in and out. Simple as that.” she whispered to herself.

She scaled the building, it was a large villa on the edge Lake George in New York. It was magnificent and it all came from dirty money. The atmosphere gave her a boost of confidence and she decided, why not have a little fun? Unlike the rest of The Hand, she always liked to spice up her assassinations with a little flare. Just like her idol Mr. Delarge, she was always one for the dramatics. A lot of her inspiration came from her favorite movie, as you know, is A Clockwork Orange. However, this was the only film (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has ever sense there wasn't anything to compare to. She smuggled the film into base, knowing she was forbidden to view films from the outside, and that it would disrupt her training, but it was her only memory with her previous family. Her father would watch this movie and to her mother’s dismay, she watched it along with him even though it was a movie very unsuitable for young eyes. What should be considered an awful memory according to Bakuto was something of comfort for (Y/N). Unlike most, she sympathized for Alex Delarge, and even though he was meant to be an evil “anti-hero”, she was able to relate to his strife.

She was lost in her thoughts when she heard the front doors open and close. She snuck to a new hiding spot and watch guests flow into the mansion. There was a corporate celebration being held tonight, and what better way of sending a message than in front of maybe hundreds. The hours passed and it became gradually hard to stay hidden due to the vast amount of party goers. She was ahead of the game however and was prepared for this situation. She changed into appropriate attire for the event, which was a black camisole dress layered with a mesh long sleeve dress with gold embroidery, which was provided to her. She slipped on the obligatory heels and joined the party, waiting for the right moment to strike.

“I don’t understand Mr. Stark, why did you have to bring me here again?” Peter whined at Tony as the exited the car.

“Kid, if you want to be involved with Stark Industries you need to know how to go to things like this.” Tony said waving off Happy.

“Who is this guy anyways?” Peter said trying to keep up with Tony

“This guy is a pretty big investor in my company, and it would be rude of us not to go. He’s kind of a jackass though.”

They maneuvered their way through the crowd, shaking hands and greeting unfamiliar people. They finally found a place to stand, to be greeted by yet more money sniffing mongrels wanting to stuff their greedy hands into Tony’s pockets. Peter slouched over getting bored after only 15 minutes and waiting for this event to be over. He groaned and Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. Peter’s eyes began to scan the room for something slightly interesting, when he caught a good look at her. His posture suddenly improved grabbing Tony’s attention. He watched Peter drool over the (Y/H/C) haired girl in the black and gold dress, watching every move she made.

“Quit drooling kid and go talk to her.” Tony demanded. Peter’s eyes went large.

“Wha-what do you mean Mr. Stark?” Peter stuttered looking back from her and Tony.

“You really aren’t subtle.” Tony said face palming, “quit groaning and go over there. Gives you something to do rather than bugging me all night.”

Tony nudged Peter in her direction and he slowly and awkwardly waddled over to her. She stood in a pretty empty part of the party with her arms crossed, just staring blankly into the crowd.

“he-hey” he said softly

She looked at the nervous boy with her eyebrow raised,

“hi” she said easily dismissing him

“um... so... cool party right?”

“right.” she said giving only a sliver of attention the the boy. Her attitude gave him a weird boost in confidence.

“So, what’s your name?” He asked throwing her off guard.

“Uhhh...” she was preparing to go unnoticed and not talk to anyone, so she didn’t even bother coming up with a fake name. She frantically scanned the room for ideas. She looked over to the bar and saw the bartender pouring a drink for a partygoer,

“Scotch...” she muttered, “Scotch uhhhh...”

She then saw a man walk by wearing a brown leather jacket,

“Leather?” She said unsure.

“Scotch Leather?” Peter asked

“Yeah...” she said mentally face palming.

He began to burst out laughing as she joined him laughing nervously.

“I’m so sorry, I know that’s your name and its very rude of me to laugh, but no offense, that sounds like a stripper’s name.” He said as she scoffed. She realized the humor in it and began to laugh hysterically with him.

Hours went by, and the two just talked and laughed about everything. As night fell, they heard a glass being chimed, attracting everyone’s attention. The host, and (Y/N)’s target stood up in the front of the room.

“That’s my cue” she said to herself.

“Sorry what?” Peter said no catching what she was saying.

“Oh, I said I need to use the restroom.” she said putting down her glass of water, “It was nice meeting you Parker.”

Peter smiled victoriously and marched back to Tony.

“You were over there for a while. How’d it go?” Tony whispered as the host began his speech.

“Amazing! She's smart, and pretty, and my age too!” Peter told him ecstatically.

“Did you get her number?”

“Crap.”

She had changed back into her previous attire and snuck onto the roof where she had a good view of her target. She tied her hair up into a tight bun and slipped on her mask. She had to use her full face mask due to the fact that she walked around the party for a while and enough people saw her face to be able to show it. She groaned at the suffocation and begrudgingly stuffed her head in. It was musty and smelled like sweat, and the connected goggles were scratched up and foggy. The one advantage was that her identity was completely hidden and she looked pretty freaky. She adjusted her suit, which was an all black bulletproof suit that went up to her neck, and cargo pants and boots over the suit.

She reached out her hand and a chunk of metal melted from a bare pipe and flew into her hand, shaping into a katana once it touched her palm. she peaked through the skylight at the target, still rambling on.

“...and to all those who have been a part of my project, I’d like to thank and for the profits, we are making more than we anticipated, so I am making a proposal for the next...”

He droned on for a long time, but she had to wait for the perfect moment. She wanted to make her first solo mission something to remember.

She cut a hole through the skylight and swiftly hopped down right behind him, barely making a noise when her feet touched the floor. She went unnoticed until she stood up behind him. She was merely a shadow, and barely visible, but what caught everyone’s eye was the gleam of her sword. The crowd audibly gasps at the intruder and a frightened murmur is heard throughout the room.

“I know, I know. These new plans are ambitious, but trust me I have a plan to initiate a...” he says, as a reply to the gasps and murmurs.

The assassin smirks under her mask as the host turns around confused as to why the crowd looked frightened, and the moment he is face to face with her she sheaths her katana deep into his heart. The people in the crown scream and run frantically out of the building. She chuckles knowing the scene looks almost like renaissance painting, her and the target dead center, his eyes rolled back into his head, and the frenzy of the guests scattering the ironically serene and exquisite room. It was almost poetic and how she wished she could get a snapshot of the moment. She twisted the sword making the man scream out in pain and retracted her sword, taking one last look at the magnificent scene and scurrying off.

“Hey Peter?” Tony asked, not looking directly at him

“Y-yeah?”

“Do you have your suit on you?”

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datingadviceonreddit · 6 years

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So...I don't know how to start this...but I'm a 23 year old female that has never been in a relationship or had a date. Oh, and I'm still a virgin.I'm a very shy, quiet, and reserved person. I avoid eye contact and small talk at a cost, because eye contact makes me uncomfortable and I have no idea how engage in small talk. On top of all of this, I'm also an introvert, I'm stuck in my head, I over analyze and over think everything, I have social anxiety and depression, I'm pretty unaware of my surroundings, and have trouble "living in the moment". I'm starting to think that people view me as a snob who does not live in the real world, even though I've been called "sweet", "kind", and "polite" my entire life.• My parents have sheltered me my entire life. In high school, I was not allowed to date or have a job. I still live with my parents, I never learned how to drive, and as pathetic as it sounds, I have never had a job. My parents (especially my father) were also extremely wary of any friends I had, especially if they were male. As a teenager, I never really had any friends, and I don't know how to make friends as an adult, either. I've never been to a night club, party, or even just "hang out" with friends. My high school years revolved around studying and music lessons, and not much else. It's gotten to the point that I'm kind of...scared of my parents. They're not overly religious, so I don't know where their mindset comes from.• I don't have many hobbies. All I do is read and research things, paint, draw, play music, and I've recently taken a liking to baking and crafts (jewelry making and sewing) That's pretty much all I know how to do, since my parents never encouraged me to join sports or clubs when I was younger.• I have no post high school education, other than about 15 credits I completed at a community college. I'm pretty sure that my lack of education is obvious, due to the way I write and my limited vocabulary. I never went to a tradional 4-year college, due to my fear of living away from home and my social awkwardness. I've thought about going back to school, but I don't want to be seen as some old woman trying to relive her youth. Also, the only things I'm good at and interested in are art and music, which are only useful if you want to live a lifetime of debt.• I'm not a very ambitious person--I've never been attracted to so-called "power" careers. I have no interest in becoming a lawyer, engineer, business executive, or doctor. Honestly, I'd be ok with having a job where I'd never make more than 50k a year. The thought of being a slave to some corporation has never interested me.• In terms of my apperance, I don't think I'm that great looking. In fact, I think most people would view me as ugly and undesirable. I'm African-American, which means that most guys think I'm unattractive. My skin tone is some shade of beige, and I'm about 5'6"-5'7" and around 125-130 pounds. I'm not very shapely--I have proportionately long arms and legs, a short torso, no waist definition, breast that I think are too large, and a short, skinny neck. Oh, and I have a small butt, and I struggle with building muscle. I really hate my face. It's some weird round/square shape, and I have a high forehead, chubby cheeks yet high cheekbones, and dimples on my chin and cheeks. My nose, while wider than average, is proportionate to my face, but looks like the nose of and infant--it's short, round, and not very high. My eyes are small and brown, which society has deemed as ugly. I have a short, small mouth, and my lips are not super full, but they're not really thin. I have pronounced Cupid's bow and a slightly pouty lower lip. My hair is dark, curly, and is about mid-back length. I have mild acne on my face, back, and chest, and I never learned how to apply makeup.• I'm starting to believe that I'm destined to being single the rest of my life. I think men are repulsed by me, from my weird personality to my hideous apperance. The majority of women my age are far more ambitious, intelligent, beautiful, funny, educated, intersting, and sexually experienced than me; They're just all around better humans than I am, so why wod any man bother with me when there's all types of great women around? Men also hate virgins; I've seen so many guys online saying that being a virgin past the age of 21 is weird, the sex suck, that virgins are clingy, and it sucks trying to teach someone out of high school how to do the deed. I just don't think I could handle having several flings and casual hook-ups. I'm not waiting for marriage to have sex, but just I prefer that the sex I do have (if I ever have sex at this point) be in an exclusive relationship. I also think that my passive, shy, unambitious nature is a turn-off. And yes, I already know that the fact that I'm ugly and never completed college are also part of the problem.• This part may sound odd and inappropriate, but I'm scared of men and sex. I've never been sexually assaulted, abused, or raped in my life, so I don't know why I'm scared. I fear a man will hurt me, either physically, mentally or both. The thought of intimacy kind of freaks me out. Just the thought of being naked with a man, him touching and kissing me, and putting his you-know-what in me makes me break out in goosebumps and become tense. I find men to be very attractive, but I'm scared of being with them.• I don't know what even got me to thinking about this subject. I think it may be the fact that my mother hints at me that she wants grandchildren. She tells me every now and then that she wants a grand baby, but she needs a son-in-law first. She points out men she thinks would make a good son-in-law, and most of these guys have stable careers, are 4-7 years older than me, and have a good salary. All of them either have a college education, a trade, or have worked tirelessly at working their way up at a job, and I just don't think such guys are interested in a completely unstable and ugly woman like me, but I don't know how to tell my mother this. I'm also just not ready to get married and have babies. All of these men are very polite and masculine, which are the types of men my mother like. I'm starting to wonder if my mother is just projecting her own desires on to me, and is forgetting that I am my own person.• I've been trying to think of how to change my loser ways. I've thought about just "faking" being more extroverted, bubbly, ambitious, and snarky, even though this behavior is not natural for me. I've also thought about losing 10-20 pounds, since guys like super skinny women. I also know I need to buy make up and learn how to apply it. Maybe I should also get plastic surgery. I also know I need to obtain at least a bachelor's degree, and that I need to get over my fear of sex and just deal with the fact that casual sex is a part of modern dating.•I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to stop being a loser on the dating market. All advice is welcome. via /r/dating_advice

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