#I'm gonna cry so fricken much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

herpartnerintime · 1 year

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Before you say Chloe is a bad friend...

Play Farewell again. Look at how happy Chloe was. She had the perfect life, perfect family, perfect best friend. Pay attention to how she looks at Max with such adoration and love. The way she hugs Max out of nowhere and tells her she's the fricken best, pay attention to how she comforts Max about the move and isn't worried about anything changing. She trusted Max with ALL HER HEART.

And Max betrayed that. When she needed it most, when her dad died, Max broke the promise she left on that tape (that Chloe clutched to her chest as she fell down crying, that meant the world to her, that recording...) Imagine what that would do to you. Listen to Max's tape... listen to it.

Max: I guess I just wanted to leave you one more message. Because I know this was the absolute worst time for me to go. I thought maybe if you heard my voice it could be a little bit like I was there. I don't know, maybe this was a dumb idea. I would give anything to be there with you now. It's so hard, trying to say what I'm thinking. If I could just see you... But we'll get good at it—great at it! We'll write and talk all the time. And then you'll come visit and it'll be like I never left. I mean it, you don't have to worry about anything changing. You're dealing with so much other stuff. You don't deserve any of this. Max: Chloe, listen. Even if I never—even if we're moving for good... We're always together, okay? Even when we're apart. We're still Max and Chloe. I will always, always love you. Goodbye.

Think of how Chloe is curled in a ball on the floor of her room clutching that tape like it's all she has left because it IS all she has left but she is also left with the promise Max is going to write and talk with her all the time, the promise they are still Max and Chloe, that Max will always love her, that nothing will change. Chloe is clutching to the tape, holding it to her chest, she's clutching on to Max. And Max? She doesn't write. She doesn't call. She doesn't text. In bts she maybe responds once or twice but otherwise no. She's not there at all. Things do change. Chloe's alone... everything on that tape... feels like a lie.

Everybody lies remember? A statement 16 year old Chloe believes in Before the Storm. Who do you think taught her everybody lies? Then my dad died, and her dad got some job up north and she moved away to Seattle. It was probably the moment when I needed her most, and she bailed. Thanks, Max, for teaching me that I can't rely on anyone. I mean it. Life lesson learned.

Tell me you wouldn't be just as broken as Chloe losing your dad and then your best friend who you loved so much and then your mom gets a new boyfriend (and marries him) who treats you like you're just a problem and your mom is okay with it. Justifies his treatment of you. He's not your fucking dad. Your dad was perfect. This guy is nothing. It feels like your mom is trying to replace your dad. He's telling you that you've had enough of a vacation from a father figure as if your dad being dead for two years is a 'vacation' you wanted. Joyce has a right to move on, but her boyfriend treats and talks to Chloe horribly, and Chloe is 16. She's a teenager. She hasn't moved on from her dad's death, not even close. She hasn't moved on from Max either. Max and her dad were her fucking world. Think about the Junkyard scene in Before the Storm. The one where Chloe is smashing things in the junkyard. The way she sees the camera and goes... Chloe: I've never understood your hard-on for cameras, Max. You took a million pictures of us, and not one of them showed that you were gonna leave when I needed you most.

Chloe smashes it.

Chloe: Fuck cameras. She says fuck you David. Fuck off Rachel. But she can't say fuck you Max.

I feel the need to say what she wrote in her journal about taking Max back in a heartbeat at 16 stayed true even at 19. She took Max back in a heartbeat. The worst part is that even though we haven't spoken in months, even though she habitually ignored my texts so much that I just stopped trying, even though I know, deep down, that she doesn't care about me anymore and that she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle... I still miss her. If she came back tomorrow and said "hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?", I would take her back in a heartbeat. And as we all know, she does. I want you to think of the scene where Chloe finds her dad's car and breaks down, smashing her fists against the car screaming and crying until she falls down to the ground, crying and sobbing, curling up into a ball as she cries, all alone in that Junkyard, alone because not only did her dad die, but Max left, and she didn't keep her promise on that tape that Chloe had also curled into a ball with. She doesn't even have that promise anymore. She has nothing. But wait, that's not all, because as soon as Rachel leaves I find a car. My dead dad's fucking car. The twisted, shattered, ugly reminder of what used to be my life.

I think most people would never want anything to do with people who hurt them like Max. But Chloe took her back, still loved her, still treated her with love and still considered her her best friend. Look at how special their scenes are. The way they walk on the train tracks, the way they touch and Max worries her powers won't last forever. Guess what? Chloe doesn't care. She says WE WILL. Forever. She doesn't care if Max loses her powers because she LOVES Max, not her powers.

Now was Chloe angry at times in the game? Yes. And she had a right to be. Honestly, I'm surprised people seem to be under the impression you should just be okay with your best friend ghosting you after promising you she would be there for you when you desperately needed her and never be a little angry about it (and let's not forget Max returning to Arcadia but still not contacting Chloe). But with that said does Chloe act selfishly with Max at times? Yes she does.

Let's talk about the weed in Chloe's room. My favourite thing to do is hide and then burst out of the closet and take the blame for Chloe, which touches Chloe that Max throws herself out of the closet to protect her and feels like a huge show of love to Chloe that Max wanted to protect her. But if you don't hide and David catches you? Chloe will throw the blame on you and say it's Max weed. If you refuse to take the blame, Chloe is hurt and angry at Max.

It was a test when she throws the blame on Max. Does Max care enough about me to protect me? Think of how as kids Chloe protected Max when Max broke one of the stair posts as kids Max thinks in Farewell, "I slipped and broke this post a few years ago. But Chloe insisted on taking the blame. Even after she got grounded, she never squealed. What a friend." Chloe was willing to take the blame for Max as kids and protect her. Would Max do the same for her? Protect her?

And if Max does, or if you come out of hiding and take the blame without prompting think about how much that MEANS to Chloe. How loud that action speaks to her seeing Max wanting to protect her. And watch how protective she is of Max when David gets in her face about it. If Max is taking the blame, that doesn't mean Chloe is going to let David get to close to her. She says this if you do not take the blame and is then hit by David.

Max: I'm sorry, Chloe... I didn't know what to do...

Chloe: Whatever. Everybody bails on me. Even my "best friend" Max... Don't you? I'm so done with everyone in this town... I wish I hadn't even seen you. As if you care. Color me outta here... Keep in mind too, before this dialogue when they were talking about Rachel, this exchange happens.

Max: And you haven't heard anything from her since?

Chloe: Like everybody in my life. My dad, you...and Rachel. Gone... Can you put on some music now?

Max gets up. She inserts the CD into the stereo. "Santa Monica Dream" by Angus and Julia Stone begins playing. Chloe lies down on the bed, a sad expression on her face, and she begins to smoke.

Chloe: Anyway... You can find tools to fix your camera in the garage...

Max: Chloe, are you okay?

Chloe: Sure, I'm awesome. I just want to blaze and be alone for a moment...

Max not taking the blame and standing up to David as he harasses Chloe and eventually hits her has Chloe feeling deeply hurt and thinking about how everyone in her life hurts her and this is no different, changing her earlier happy mood at seeing Max and bringing this feeling back we saw earlier that had her distressed. Everyone lets her down, everybody leaves her, of course Max didn't stand up for her, why would she even have expected her too? Don't forget how in Before the Storm Rachel even told Chloe this... Rachel: Sometimes, I feel like I've got no reason to stay. Don't be surprised, Chloe, if one day, I'm just out of here. Chloe goes back and forth between thinking Rachel is missing and in danger to thinking I imagine to this moment and wondering if Rachel abandoned her too. Like Max did. She's come to expect the ones she loves leaving her and disappointing her. Look at how happy she is if you take the blame.

Chloe: Thanks for taking the heat. We totally smacked his punk ass down, Max. He's no match for you and me now...That was an epic win. Anyway. Let's sneak out the window...there is one cool place we can hang in this hickhole Chloe: Isn't this awesome sauce? Totally reminds me of when we were kids... (waves to Max.) Come on, slowpoke! Chloe is practically high with the happiness of Max taking the blame, not because she wants Max in trouble but because the act of Max looking out for her makes her feel loved, makes her feel like this is real, Max is really back and is to stay and she really does care again.

Max's inaction or her choice to take action have powerful affects on Chloe. Come out of hiding or take the blame and she feels loved, don't take the blame and she feels uncared for from a friend she fears may not truly care for her like she cares for her. The same can be said of shooting or not shooting Frank. Let's talk about the dialogue Shoot Max: Sorry.

Chloe hugs Max.

Chloe: You were awesome. Thanks for standing up for me...Let's blow. My secret lair didn't feel secret today. At least Frank is gone; he won't fuck with us again. He just wants his money. Don't shoot Chloe: You really stood your ground. Don't shoot

Max: I freaked. I don't like guns.

Chloe: It'll be hard to keep Nathan off my ass... My step-shit will have his other guns sealed in an electrified bunker by now.

Max: Sorry, Chloe. I've never held a gun on a human being before. Not cool.

Chloe: I know, Max. Really. I'm actually relieved it worked out this way instead... And there are more guns out there...Let's blow. My secret lair didn't feel secret today. At least Frank is gone; he won't fuck with us again. He just wants his money.

I know her reaction of you didn't stand your ground when you don't shoot is hurtful and unfair, Max was pointing the gun at Frank, she was scared in this scenario to pull the trigger and possibly kill him. Chloe acknowledges she knows, signaling she does understand this was a hard situation for Max and it's not fair to place that expectation on her. I think the reason her reaction if Max shoots is moving to hug her when Max says sorry is because of how deeply moved Chloe was by what Max did. Max saw her in danger and was willing to pull a trigger to protect her. That's an act of love and a powerful one and Chloe knows that. I think if Max doesn't shoot, even if it's unfair, a part of Chloe feels like she's not loved enough to have someone go that far to protect her, but she can acknowledge it's not fair of her to feel that way. Let's talk about these lines too..

Chloe: I still can't believe you pulled a gun on Frank. That was epic.

Max: It felt awful... I'm glad there was no bullets in there--

Chloe: You can just rewind time in your hand and stick that barrel right up Frank's ass! You have the power!

Max: You're gross. Don't fall. Max and Chloe briefly hold hands, then let go. vs

Chloe: I can't believe you basically gave him my gun. "Here ya go, Frank."

Max: You can't keep getting mad at me. Especially for stupid shit.

Chloe: I'm not mad. It adds up in my mind as people letting me down. And I just liked having that gun, man.

Max and Chloe briefly hold hands, then let go.

Max: Now you have me to protect you. Now again, Chloe is being unfair here, but she is upset her protection was taken from her as she is very anxious I think after almost being shot earlier (and knowing she also died in one reality) also now anxious from Frank threatening her with a knife and anxious even from being drugged and from her step father's abuse, that losing her means of protection because Max wasn't willing to pull the trigger I think has her upset, and she sees it as being let down. It's not fair at all, but that's why she feels that way. When Max does shoot, we can see what an impact this has emotionally for her. She's all excited and happy, and I think she's kind of high off the act of love that was pulling the trigger from Max. She now knows Max loves her so much she'd kill for her, and it's hard for her not to be thrilled by that realization, that Max loves her so much. I think this is why she soon after texts Max this... max the boss with the gun marry me Illegal in Oregon. For now. fuq that shit elope Chloe was truly touched and moved and high off the love displayed in Max 'shooting' Frank. When you think of how Chloe has been feeling for so long, so unloved and abandoned you can see why this act of love really took her by surprise and furthered her love and adoration of Max. And it's also worth mentioning Chloe can also shoot Frank, for real, killing him when he threatens Max. Making it clear if your Max 'shoots' that their love is so powerful they both pull triggers to protect the other. Now let's bring up the Kate call. People get very nasty on Chloe on this one. We're all protective of Kate. It's important to know Chloe did not realize how serious the call was.

Think about it. How would you feel if your bestie broke her promise to you and hurt you so deeply, cut you so deeply, for five years, nothing, silence, nothing when she knew you had just lost your dad, when she was your fucking WORLD, when she PROMISED you to be there for you, REPLAY FAREWELL AND imagine how much it would CUT LIKE A FUCKING KNIFE to see your bestie drop everything to pick up the phone for someone she knew for only a month when she ignored every single one of your calls? I have no doubt Chloe called Max in tears and broken many times wishing more than anything she would pick up the phone, or stared at her sent text waiting for a reply. There may have been times Chloe was on the brink of considering suicide (Rachel saved my life suggests to me she didn't want to live anymore) and needed to talk to Max, but she never answered. Max was never there for HER. Imagine how deeply that HURT. How much it hurt to watch her be there for someone else without hesitation.

It was still selfish, but so REAL, so RAW. Of course Chloe was hurt and lashed out at Max. If you don't answer the call, Chloe is happy. She can be very possessive of her loved ones, and given her abandonment issues, caused most heartbreakingly of all by Max - that she can't help but feel possessive. She loves Max, she has missed Max for five years and wants Max's attention all to herself. Selfish but REAL.

And she apologizes. Later she admits it was selfish and apologizes to Max. She feels fucking awful about it. Chloe: I was a... I was a total dick for blowing a fuse when Kate called the other day. I had no idea what shit she was going through. I stopped you from being her friend. But you saved her... like me. / If Max ignored call

Chloe: I was a total dick for blowing a fuse when you answered Kate's call the other day. Good thing you ignored me. I had no idea what shit she was going through. And you saved her... like me. / If Max answered.

Some other things people get mad at Chloe over, of course stealing the money. But let's consider a few things. Chloe right before finding the money, on the computer: "Nathan Prescott the Third." Oooh, he's so money. And you know the Prescotts dropped major bank to bury Nathan's real file... Look, it reads like a rap sheet---bad grades, teacher complains, secret probation... But I was expelled? She then finds the money right after guessing the Prescotts were dropping major bank to bury his files. Where did such a large amount of money come from? It doesn't feel like a coincidence. Max: Wowser, that's a lot for the "handicapped fund." You can hear in Max's voice she's making a similar connection to the Prescotts dropping bank, but she's anxious because she does think it could possibly be used for the handicapped fund. If you watch Chloe's face when Max says handicapped fund, she barely even seems to hear Max, all she is thinking about is Rachel and how that money can help them find more information from Frank and get Frank off her back. We know Chloe has been desperate to get money to pay off Frank and get out of Arcadia but now the money has even more importance - to get him to tell them anything he knows about Rachel since he's not likely to talk right now when she owes him and their last encounter had him threatening her for his money. Frank came seeking Chloe out and pulled a knife on her and said, "You want me to cut you, bitch?" I imagine this has Chloe anxious too as she's never seen Frank this aggressive with her and wants him off her back and is scared he might pull a knife out on her again and hurt her. This is yet another reason having a gun is a comfort to her she is distressed if she loses. She's had a lot of men threating her recently. You can even find in episode 3 Chloe's bedroom on her phone has messages from Frank threatening her for his money. He texts the following "Chloe. Money. Now. Chloe: I have your money asshole. Frank: When? Chloe: i'll text you before the end of the week. Frank: Or else. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME WHORE! Max: Jesus. Now I am glad Chloe took that money. This guy is serious. And Scary! Max herself can see how important stealing the money was in keeping Chloe safe from a man who physically threatened her and is continuing to threaten her. Allowing the money to be stolen in the office is also another show of loyalty and showing her desire to help find Rachel and keep Chloe safe from Frank's anger and aggression, given the money really calms Frank down and gets him off her back and helps him open up more about Rachel. Max's thoughts show she's doing it to protect Chloe from Frank and find more about Rachel and Max's willingness to do so much for her and helping her means a lot to Chloe, it onces again touches her that Max wants to protect her and help keep her safe from Frank and also help her find Rachel, whereas Max refusing to take it feels like Max isn't as determined to find Rachel and help her and protect her from Frank, though she accepts Moral Max's choice, even if she is upset if Max refuses to let her take the money. I've also seen others bringing up how she parked in the handicapped spot and I think while Max herself at first thought this was intentional of the driver, I think it's clear once we know it is Chloe that she was coming to Blackwell to confront Nathan for drugging her and to put up Rachel posters, so I think she was driving into the parking lot distressed and upset and also angry at Blackwell, not paying attention to where she parked and wanting to park improperly just as a fuck you to Blackwell, angry for not only them expelling her but I'd even imagine for not putting up Rachel missing posters themselves and hell, why was Nathan not expelled and she was with all the shit he was pulling? She had lots of resentment for that school. She does face consequences for selfishly not paying attention to where she was rebelliously parking and for taking the money though as we know.

Even in episode 4, Chloe we see in texts apologized for getting so upset after finding out about Rachel and Frank and taking it out on Max in the car.

hey man i suck again

sorry i got in your face today and took out my bullshit rage on my best friend

- Here we have Chloe owning up to her behaviour. She knows she hasn't been fair with Max, more than once *I suck again', and she apologizes.

And again please remember the game takes place in less than a week, not in a year.

October 7 - 11 is literally the Life is Strange 1 timeline. LESS THAN A WEEK. For Max with her powers and alternate reality I suppose it’s technically a little longer for her. But yes, timeline is less than a week.

Back to the text, she's already apologizing and changing her behaviour to be less selfish with Max and the game again happens in less than a week. If Chloe was rubbing her anger into Max for months or a year or years and never letting it go how Max wasn't there for her yeah that WOULD be a toxic friendship. It would be a toxic friendship if Chloe always held it over her head and was always 'testing' Max's loyalty. But the game takes place in days, and Chloe lets out some anger, has some tests like the weed 'will she take the blame', but overall is loving and supportive and apologizes and owns up to her selfish behaviors and does change and by the end of the 11th of October is willing to die for everyone.

I also see people occasionally bringing up her bossiness to say she's a bad friend to Max, like how she goes boo hoo Max is afraid when wanting her to practice with the gun. I do agree that yeah, she shouldn't have been like that about it but Chloe was trying in her way to be encouraging to get her to give the gun a go, since she had fun with it and Max as we see, seemed to enjoy it too, they even happily high five after. Also consider how she offers Max beer and when Max turns it down she doesn't push it at all (she even think this is cute Max thinks beer is gross). She's not going to pressure her into drinking. She cares about Max and really likes encouraging her, and in the case of the gun practice, maybe her over excitement made her push a little hard in this case.

I see people sometimes saying to that she pushed Max with her powers. Chloe was excited to see more of the powers in action (who wouldn't be really?) but she freaked out in a panic when Max passed out. She was scared as fuck for Max. Neither of them knew at the time how serious things could get, they were just having fun testing things out. Max enjoyed showing off too, look at the diner scene. She loved wowing Chloe with them. In the junkyard Chloe wants Max resting after she passes out.

The game takes place in less than a week and I wish people would understand Chloe obviously is dealing with very real and understandable hurt at Max but over all is supportive and encouraging to Max. That pool scene is just beautiful, the way Chloe encourages Max. Max doesn't just get braver in the game from her powers, but Chloe being in her life again brings out her bravery and courage to live life and not just observe it. Whatever ending you pick, Bae or Bay, I know Max will go on to pursue her dreams and her week with Chloe is going to be a huge part of that. Just a few moments of encouragement in the many she gives... Chloe: Stop being so goddamn humble. You're like the smartest, most talented person I've ever known. Max: Ew! I don't want any Blackwell bros over me. There's a couple cute guys there but they probably think I'm a total nerd.

Chloe: Uh, nerds are hot. You just don't have any confidence yet.

Max: Unfortunately, that didn't come with my rewind power... Chloe: No worries. Once you get over yourself, you're going to make the world bow.

Max: As long as you're there with me...

Chloe: Don't look so sad. I'm never leaving you... Max: I'd rather be a good photographer...

Chloe: You are. You just have to stop being afraid... (said gently) Chloe: Since you're the mysterious superhero, I'll be your faithful chauffeur and companion.

Max: My powers might not last, Chloe...

Chloe: That's okay—we will. Forever.

These are just a few moments in the many where Chloe is encouraging Max in different ways, and offering her unconditional love, loyalty and support. Chloe's negative behavior we see in less than one week isn't going to be reflective of forever, and by the end of the game/week Chloe is willing to sacrifice her life for Arcadia and acknowledges the ways she has been selfish and acknowledges how Max has shown her love and loyalty and friendship in every way. Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me.

Chloe: I know. You proved that over and over again... even though I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish... not like my mom... Look what she had to give up and live through... and she did. She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner. Even my step... father deserves her alive. There's so many more people in Arcadia Bay who should live... way more than me... Chloe: Max, you finally came back to me this week, and... you did nothing but show me your love and friendship. You made me smile and laugh, like I haven't done in years.

In Lis2 we learn Chloe's new look "is from a combination of mixed feelings, such as angst, remorse, guilt, to not forget who died in the storm, to grow up, to advance in her life, and to never forget' It's obvious what happened changed Chloe forever and I think it's very clear after that those days she had with Max she's let go of her anger about those five years of silence. She knows Max loves her. She's more at peace now.

I feel sad when I see people hate Chloe because I feel like people want to take a real character and make her fake. I like real characters. I love that Chloe isn't perfect. I love that she loves Max so fucking much, in spite of everything, she takes her back and loves her and encourages her and supports her and offers that unconditional love. I love how when I play, her hurt and anger she lets out at times cuts me like a knife.

There's art of Max looking at Chloe and goes 'how long are you going to be mad at me?" And Chloe goes 'ten minutes' which feels very accurate. She takes little digs at Max here and there for not being there, but her anger doesn't last long. Most of the game is spent with Chloe being supportive, encouraging, loving, protective and just so happy to be around Max in spite of what Max did.

I think Max had a lot of anxiety. She cared for Chloe, didn't mean to hurt her, but she didn't know how to be there for her and was so overwhelmed by her grief she just wasn't there and eventually convinced herself Chloe would hate her. I think it means the world to Max after what she did, Chloe still loves her.

Five years apart and they were still Max and Chloe. If you go back to episode 4 where Max is forced to stand there and let William leave knowing he will die, she faces what this game is also about. Max Caulfield facing the consequences of not being there for her best friend when she promised she would be. She finally understands it, hearing Chloe has no belief that Max would ever abandon her. Chloe: She's never leaving me!

William: That makes all of us. (William walks out the door)

(Max leans against the wall with her head in her hands)

Chloe: Max, you are being so fucking strange, like you're never going to see us again.

Max: Chloe, I'm so sorry... I tried to make things different for you... I...I did try...I'm sorry.

Chloe: I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but come on. (Chloe holds Max's hands, then lets go) You have made things different, like my whole life. You're my best friend. I've got you and a great family. What's to be sorry for? We'll be best friends forever. And when we grow up we're taking over the world.

Max: Listen, whatever happens, I want you to be strong. Even if you feel like I wasn't there for you...because I will never abandon you, Chloe. (Max holds Chloe's hands) I'll always have your back. Always. If Max can understand, then I hope you all can too. Max truly is hit by the full weight of what she did and the consequences, and her attempt to fix it brought only pain to this alternate reality Chloe and Max as she faces 14 year old Chloe fully comprehending now what she did. How this Chloe has no idea she will abandon her, because she doesn't think Max would ever do such a thing to her, it's not something even in this Chloe's mind that could be a reality. So Max cries and tries her best to comfort Chloe from something Chloe doesn't even know she did yet and doesn't ever believe Max could do to her.

Chloe in Lis1 lets out her anger at Max at times, and sometimes she was selfish and toxic about it. What makes the ending of Farewell and that episode 4 moment so heart wrenching is that we the player and Max herself know Max breaks her promise. She won't be there for Chloe for five long years. They won't write a lot, Max won't be there for her for years. We know this, and Max faces the consequences of what she's done when she returns.

And I love how Chloe is hurt and is allowed to show it. And I love how in spite of everything, they still really are Max and Chloe. They still both love each other. Honestly, play Farewell, play Before the Storm, and then play Life is Strange and Chloe isn't even as angry as she ought to be, as most people would be. Most people would never accept a friend back like that. That's just the truth. Most people aren't so forgiving. But Chloe was. She really did take her back in a heartbeat. And again, that means the world to Max. Max, who when she looked at a picture of her and Chloe in their pirate outfits in her dorm in episode 1, wondered if they were even BFFs anymore, because she knew she hadn't been there for her and was scared Chloe might not forgive her and want to see her, which made her to scared to reach out when she returned. Chloe still seeing her as a BFF meant the world to Max.

I feel like Chloe 'haters' and those who only rant about how she was a toxic awful friend are so caught up in their dislike they stop thinking critically. Sometimes the opinions feel misogynistic or of internalized misogyny when you see people tearing apart a woman for not being the perfect embodiment of a 'girl with a bad past' they wish she was.

I think of Daniel from Lis2. A lot of people hate him because they play as Sean and again, feel defensive of Sean. And I think some people, they don't get as into the game as deeply and so play on more a surface level, more a 'Chloe blamed me for the weed, she's a toxic awful friend' kind of level as opposed to a deeper level, 'Chloe blamed me for the weed, which was really selfish, but I get she is hurt I ignored her for five years and she's trying to test and see how much I care.. I, Max, was her best friend and I hurt her deeply."

I know some people will say I'm making excuses but I'm trying to empathize and help people understand Chloe by detailing how some of her actions were wrong, but WHY she made them. She isn't perfect, she's hurt, she's allowed to be, she's allowed to be angry, who wouldn't be honestly? You can't tell me she's a toxic monster of a friend because she shows her hurt at Max sometimes during a less than 1 week period. I encourage players to replay Farewell to understand Chloe even more when you see how happy she was and how much she loved Max and how much Max leaving and breaking her promise broke her fucking heart and left her broken and yes, makes her angry and does cause her to show it at Max at times. And Max calls her out on it in the game even, pointing out how Chloe is always on her about not being there for her but this is how she's there for her (when she tries to spook Max in episode 3 when Max is shaken up over the events of episode 2, not considering Max's feelings) and Chloe apologizes at once. She owns up to her actions, and she doesn't hold things over Max the entire game.

I just hate seeing people hate on Chloe so hard. She's loyal AF to her friends and in spite of five years of silence loves Max no less and yes she shows some anger, sometimes she makes her expectations of Max selfishly high, but she was hurt deeply by Max and again, the game takes place in a less than a week and she's overall loving and supportive to Max and super protective of her and doesn't spend the entire game holding it against Max. She apologizes for her shitty behaviour, she grows.

She loves Max, she takes her back in a fucking heart beat. She helps Max be brave and helps Max see how talented she really is. When you also have played Before the Storm and seen how lonely Chloe was, read her journal entries, consider the fact she was called 'mute' by Drew because she was so lonely and depressed she never spoke, when you see how she jumped away from the train at the last second because she was so depressed and needed to feel something, maybe didn't care if the train did hit her... and consider she wouldn't have been like that if Max had been there for her... I think you can understand Chloe a lot more. And also understand how amazing she is for taking Max back and loving her and by October 11 after reuniting on October 7, fully forgiving Max. And how amazing Max is too for overcoming her social anxiety to be there for Chloe in every way she could be, even by changing time. Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me Chloe: I know. You proved that over and over again... even though I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish... not like my mom... Look what she had to give up and live through... and she did. She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner. Even my step... father deserves her alive. There's so many more people in Arcadia Bay who should live... way more than me... Chloe: Max, you finally came back to me this week, and... you did nothing but show me your love and friendship. You made me smile and laugh, like I haven't done in years. Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours. No matter what you choose, I know you'll make the right decision.

Chloe: Max... it's time...

The song Obstacles begins to play.

Max: Not anymore.

Max tears apart the polaroid and it blows away in the storm. She watches the tornado.

Chloe: Max... I'll always be with you.

Max: Forever... Don't tell me Pricefield is toxic. Don't tell me Max and Chloe's relationship will be toxic in Bae. Because if you do, I know you don't really know them at all.

#chloe price #life is strange #pricefield #i may have to put a read more on this #life is strange before the storm

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sexynbgfpollhost · 3 months

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My review of ATLA Live Action episode one:

(Keep in mind, at this point I have only seen episode 1 and so this is just my first impression)

Remember, there are spoilers ahead and I seriously think you should watch it yourself before reading any review. Trust me, having your own impression first before anyone else's is way better... Okay here we go:

-----

Review of episode one, first impressions:

I really loved how we got to see what the air temple genocide looked like. It really shows that they're fully aware that the main audience has grown up. I watched it with my sister, her hubby, and my 5-yr niece and we didn't know that it would literally show people getting burned alive, so we had to cover her eyes a lot lol. I loved how we got to see firelord Sozin when he was first declaring war.

I really liked how we got to see monk Gyatsu (having that name in 2024 is sure rough buddy..) actually want Aang to have a childhood before they told him he's the avatar. The bending looks really cool, not slow and cringey like in the first live action movie haha. I thought the way that one air-bender died, the woman doing the air tornado, was fricken BRUTAL. And it's great to see just how far they're going with the onscreen death.

My brother-in-law (sister's hubby) felt really iffy on the fact that Aang can just sort of fly on his own now, without his glider thing. I honestly don't mind it, I don't think it really affects the story all that much. And it also just.. makes sense, for an air-bender to be able to fly on their own. I love how they got the grandma to say the original intro from the cartoon in a natural way as an explanation to Aang.

I liked how they kept the original motifs. The fire tribe still has that classic "BUM bum bUm baaaaam" idk how else to describe it haha

Aang: I thought his acting was pretty good for a kid. The crying parts were decent at best... but obviously I don't expect a kid to be great at faking tears. I thought his acting was great when he learned that he was the avatar, just that silent panic, the breathing getting faster and darting the eyes. The scene where he closed himself in the ice ball thing looked really cool. (My brother-in-law was fanboying the whole time, so much so that my niece started imitating him by saying "O M G the acting is SO good!" which made us all laugh, she didn't have ill-intent, she was just learning by example)

Katara: Her acting was a little iffy to me, I have hope that it'll improve later on. She had good lines but her face just didn't make me believe those lines. During emotional moments she was just kinda '_' But I know how tough it is to be a child actor so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. (And to be fair, it is hard to convey emotion as good as a cartoon can) Her water bending looked really pretty, and I love that they kept her hair loopies. And I love that she still has her motherly personality like when she was comforting Aang near the end.

Sokka: Again, I thought his acting was pretty decent, child actors and whatnot. I really love how they didn't just reuse the same jokes from the cartoon and got original. My favorite two jokes were when it cut to him screaming on Appa, and when Aang said that he had to save the world and Sokka's response was like "Gee, is that all?" sarcastically, got a good laugh outta me. I love how his weapon looked exactly like the one in the cartoon. And I love how he got to have a one-on-one stand off with Zuko.

Haven't seen Momo yet, gonna be a bit disappointed if we don't but I mean.... Now that I think about it, Momo didn't really add anything. He was just kinda there in the cartoon for comedic affect...

Anyway, just in case someone is reading this before watching it, I'm not gonna spoil/talk about anything else (like Zuko and Iroh). So please go get your own impressions of it, even if you have to watch it on a pirated site.

Thanks for reading :)

(Side note, I do wish they chose tanner actors for the water tribe but eh, what the hell do I know? Could just be the lighting that's making them look pale)

Edit: So I just found out that Sokka and Katara's actors are not children lol (well, Karata's is 17 but that's almost an adult) so it is now a little less excusable.... But whatever, it's okay.

#avatar the last airbender live action #atla #live action #netflix #the better live action #aang #avatar #airbender #katara #water tribe #sokka #nickelodeon #fire tribe #air tribe #earth tribe

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glassofspoiledmilk · 7 months

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Going gold | Yuri P.

Chapter 5, the movie | TW: language

spent the next three hours conditioning. I can tell my quads got a lot better just from that, and I'm excited to try them on ice. I got all my things together and walked back to lilias. Yuri had left about an hour before me, the cold air felt good after a long workout. When I got back to the house, i heard like love-y old Russian music playing from the kitchen. When I walked by I saw Lilia was in there cooking something that smelled amazing. I walked past her and up to my room, where I saw Yuri. I stopped in my tracks. He had just gotten out of the shower and only had on a towel around his waist with his hair slicked back. My cheeks started to burn red. He limitedly stopped when he saw me and started freaking out.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT GO AWAY" he screamed.

"Sorry.." I said as I awkwardly walked into my room. I gulped at I walk into my room trying to process what I just saw. I grabbed a comfy pair of pajamas and went to take a shower, but I couldn't get that image of Yuri out of my head. I finished my shower and went downstairs for dinner. Lilia had made piroshkis for dinner! I sat down next to Yuri at the table and started eating. We sat in a really awkward silence like we always did. After that I went back up to my room and about 15 minutes later someone knocked on my door. I went to open it and saw Yuri.

"Do you still wanna watch that movie or no?" He asked.

"Yea of course I do" I replied.

I grabbed all of my fluffy blankets and brought them into his room. He had pictures of his cat everywhere, you would've thought his room was a fricken shrine. I sat down on his bed and he turned on his TV.

"So we're gonna watch that stupid movie you suggested earlier?" He asked lightheartedly.

"Yeah I guess, and it's not stupid it's actually a good movie" I huff.

"whatever you say princess" he added sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but blush a little.

"Is this the one," he said as he pulled the movie up on some random streaming service.

"Yup" I said, getting comfortable. He pressed play and the movie started. I couldn't help but feel awkward, something felt weird. I felt really warm, and I couldn't fully relax or calm down. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes.

" getting tired already?" He said playfully.

"Um no actually, I'm just trying to get comfortable" I said with attitude.

"Alright" he adds. As the movie goes on I start to relax more. I'm cuddled up to a pillow and Yuri is laying on his back next to me.

"Hey yuri?" I ask.

"What's up?" He adds.

"Why did you want to watch a movie with me?" I question.

"Oh, because Lilia told me I should get to know you better or something stupid like that" he said carelessly.

I felt my stomach drop, I didn't know what answer I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

I felt uncomfortable for the rest of the movie. Once it was over I said Goodnight to Yuri and walked into my room. I sat down and almost started crying. I ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my face, I need to get it together. Who cares if Yuri only talked to me because Lilia wanted him too? I'm so much better than his lame ass. I decided to do a calming face mask ( at 11:00 at night ) to help me relax. It actually helped a lot, but I couldn't figure out what else was wrong. It made my stomach feel off, but I decided that I should just sleep it off and get some rest.

I woke up the next morning determined to distance myself from Yuri and focus completely on my training. We leave for Paris in less than a week and I need to be in top shape. In our morning dance classes I worked extra hard to impress lilia, and it worked. She was very proud of how far I've come within only a few weeks. Then we went to on ice practice and i absolutely crushed my short and free program and left Yuri speechless.

Yakov asked me if I wanted to add anymore quads in and I said yes. My new jumps will be Quad flip-triple toe, Quad lutz, triple Axel, Quad sal, and a Quad toe-Triple loop combo. Yakov asked me to do them, and I did, it wasn't as hard as I initially thought it would be.

As I walked passed Yuri, i gave him a smug look.

He looked back at me with a confused, and annoyed expression.

I went home that day ecstatic.

I was still pissed off about yuri, but I was so proud of myself for landing all those quads so I decided to reward myself by going and getting my nails done. I texted Mila to see if she wanted to go with me and she said yes. I put on a cute outfit and touched up my makeup a little before heading out. When I walked out of my room I saw Yuri standing outside.

"Where the hell are you going" he said looking me up and down.

"None of your business, and since when do you care" I said giving him a cold side eye.

"What's is your problem? You've been such a bitch all day! You ignore me, give me snarky responses, and give me weird looks whenever you get the chance!" He exclaimed.

"Why would you care!" I say, aggravated.

He gives me a disappointed look and walks away.

I continued on my way to the nail salon.

"OMG hey Y/N!!! I feel like I haven't seen you in years!" Mila said hugging me tight.

We walked into the nail salon and got mani pedis. One of the workers directed us to two chairs in the back and we sat down.

"So, anything interesting happen lately?" Mila asked.

"Not really, Yuri was being a real asshole yesterday tho" I added.

"I swear he's always being such a bitch, what happened?" She asked.

"He invited me to watch a movie with him and I thought he wanted to hang out and like become closer or whatever, but no he only did it because Lilia told him too!" I said annoyed.

" it's Yuri what did you expect? He'll do whatever Lilia tells him just so she dosent kill him" She laughed.

"I don't know I just thought he maybe actually wanted to hang out with me"I said shyly.

"Hmmmm I'm kinda sensing that you like him" she said smirking at me.

"I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT !!" I said loudly.

"That only further proves my point" she laughed as I pouted.

But there was no way I liked Yuri Plisetsky, there's no way I could ever like an asshole like him.

#yuri on ice #figure skating #fluff imagine #grand prix #oneshots #victuuri #x reader #yuri plisetsky x reader #yurio plisetsky

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siancore · 1 year

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Siancore...Siancore...darling. I think its unfair for you to want someone to pick ONE of your stories. For me that list is very long but I was able to dwindle it down to 3. Can I just say - you have a gift of filling up a story with complete vulnerability and potency (if that makes sense). Your writing is very captivating and these are those that really gained my attention and stories I still go back to, even now.

The Dusk of Memory - Now I love angst and you fed a me with the angst for this one. Rick losing his memory, lori taking advantage of this situation, Michonne filled with self doubt. Sheesh you killed yet healed my heart for this one. Especially when Rick started remembering little memories of their time together.

This ain’t Georgia - Imagine if The Walking Dead started off differently....Rick and Michonne WERE married and the outbreak started". This one holds dear to my heart due to you giving me an a view of how things would go (no ill to Lori) if Rick was married to Michonne. I know its not finished (forgive me if this is wrong) but this is the one I am definitely going to go back to when the their side show for Rick and Michonne hits on TV cus that reunion scene in this story. Trying to remember it now, I KNOW I WAS CRYING! when rick asked to see his son....

Under Her Watch - Okay...I am so happy to be in another fandom with you. I need you to know how much weight this holds with me. Recalling when I saw your first post about Okoye and Attuma....my gosh! I love Attuma! I love Okoye! I love that fight scene! Their energy in that film lit something in me. Two characters who deserve love! (also The Warrior's Accord series)

Honorable Mentions: Warm & Four Walls

I love your writing and how you drive the essence of the characters. Content from movies/tv shows give us so little and what you take from that is remarkable. Your writing really speaks of yourself that makes me feel closer to you than I really am. let me stop cus I could talk great things about you for days.....💚💚💚

Oh my heart this is so amazing. Thank you for his detailed feedback. Goodness, there are fics of mine here I haven't thought of in ages. I feel so bad about not looking at them in so long, but I am floored that you still enjoy these stories.

I will have a new Richonne one-shot posted for Danai's birthday/Valentine's Day, so I hope that makes it up to you for my not editing TAG -- it's in my drafts, I've just been shit. Ha! Seriously, I have the next chappie in my drafts and haven't felt motivated to open the document. Hearing from you now is making me want to get back to it.

Now, Okoye and Attuma? I fricken love them, too. And it's nice to be in a new ship fandom with people from your other ship fandom. I know I'm safe here :')

Now, I am gonna implode because of your kind words about my writing. That's so special what you've said here, and I never even thought about it that way: That you feel closer to me because of the way I place pieces of myself in the way I write characters. I didn't even realise I was doing that. I just love who I love and want to do the best that I can to do justice to their characterisations.

This Ask has really encouraged me to go back and look at my old fics. Thank you for that. And thank you for the immense love and support. I am feeling it right now. I hope everything is going well for you x

P.S. Another fic in The Warriors' Accord series is coming soon. Very soon.

#richonne #attoye #fandom love from fandom lovelies

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thecreelhouse · 2 months

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Hey howdy hey! So i needed to come in here and THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for reading my Gator x Kirby fics and REBLOGGING THEM AS WELL WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?! (this is my main blog hi hello!) BUT FOR REALS YOU REBLOGGING THEM AND WITH SUCH NICE TAGS MADE MY FREAKING DAY!!! I'm so glad you like Kirby and the pair of them together!!!! I'm gonna go cry and go to bed now!

For reals thank youuuuu!!!! Made my fricken day!!! 💖💚💖💚💖💚💖💚💖💚💖

hi!!! dude of course!! it’s a breath of fresh air to see gator not paired with a cis female for once 😭🥹 (and i say that as someone who has written him with a cis fem reader lol)

seriously it’s so cute, they’re so cute, and i love how understanding and chill kirby is while gator is kinda figuring things out. 🥺

thank you for sharing your lovely work!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 idk if you plan on writing anymore for them but if you do, count me the hell in lol.

hope you have a good night bb! 💜

#answered

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needscaffeine · 4 years

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#i wanna sleep and i can't sleep because I'm in so much pain and my brain won't shut up coming up with the worst possible consequences or #situations and it's so stupid and I'm so tired ans I'm crying and i feel stupid for crying because it's stupid #of course I'm having trouble sleeping im in pain #but it just drives me crazy and the more i lay here the more my brain goes *your gallbladder is gonna burst* which it probably won't but my #brain doesnt know that apparently and so I'm just laying in my bed fricken crying and in pain more tired than i have been in the last year #and i can't fricken sleep #on top of that I'm nauseated and nausea medicine just makes it worse for me so....#and i just wanna scream because it hurts to fricken breathe or move and I'm just so tired oh my gosh #I'm done ranting now just gonna wallow in self pity

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super-magical-wizard · 6 years

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Good morning everyone ^-^

I know it's technically not morning anymore but still! I have an announcement!!

We have finally officially moved back into our house!! And I have my own room again!!! Heck it's been way too long since I had a door ^-^ almost a year actually. And it was really not a fun year so frick I'm so glad to be back ^-^ I still need like a week or two to recover completely and get my fill of alone time, but I should be able to post and interact a lot more now :) thank you all for being so nice and for helping me get through that. I love you all very much and I wish you the best of days!! Thank you :D

#heck I can finally take care of myself again #gosh #I'm gonna cry ^-^#I haven't been able to cry for so long #heck #I love you all #so fricken much #I hope I can talk to you all so much more in the future ^-^#thank you

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far-dareis-me · 2 years

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Wheel of (Speaking) Time: 1x06

I love this episode so much. I mean I loved all the previous episodes as well but this one... I mean it's like it was made expressly to send me into fits.

As always, this episode's data is here, and please please go check out RationalNerd's screentime analysis for this episode because (1) it is excellent and (2) it makes a fantastic case for siuraine endgame that I want to shout at the heavens about.

WoT Screentime: e1 | e2 | e3 | e1-3 | e4 | e5 | e6 | e7 | e8 WoT Speaking Time: e1-3 | e4 | e5 | e6 | e7 | e8

Charts and a lot of gay rambling below the cut!

Episode 6: The Flame of Tar Valon

Episode 6 is so gay. Y'all I know I have been screaming about this since it dropped but it was just. SO. GAY. I'm not over it. I'm never gonna be over it.

Siuan was a fricken powerhouse this episode in so many ways, speaking time most definitely among them. Moiraine may have her beat on screentime, but she spent quite a lot of her time listening to Siuan talk (and honestly, relatable). The Amyrlin came in at a whopping total time of 9:26, far surpassing the previous record and very nearly breaking the ten minute mark. (And good! Its what she deserves!!)

Overall, Siuan and Moiraine carried this episode, no one else got even close to their speaking time or screentime. Most of their scenes were together, most of them were extremely gay, and most of my heart exploded rewatching them.

Liandrin did try, bless her heart, but her repressed little self simply cannot compete with the pure, unadulterated power of gay love. RIP.

Honorable mention goes to Berden Sanche for his 1.5 minutes of speaking time that had me bawling like a baby. There are many amazing dads in this series but he gets my best dad award. I'm gonna cry just thinking about it.

The rest of the mains took a back seat this episode, but Egwene at least still had a fair amount to say as she was introduced to the White Tower. And I do think it makes sense to give her more focus than the rest in the most White Tower focused episode. Rand had slightly less speaking time, poor Perrin was knocked out almost the whole episode, and Mat was dealing with some shit so he stayed pretty quiet.

I counted Leane banging her staff as dialogue. I know it technically breaks my own rules, but it's her most iconic line, and I couldn't just leave it out!

Overview: episode 1-6

Siuan Sanche, daughter of the river, clever as a pike, strong as the tides, and queen of shooting up the rankings. In just one episode she took the 6th spot, rushing past both Perrin and Lan to do it. And she nearly caught Nynaeve (which would definitely cause some braid-tugging if she knew). Moiraine also more than solidified her #1 spot- she'd be safe even if she was passed out for the rest of the season, unless everyone else suddenly got extremely chatty. And Liandrin made it back on the leaderboard (she'd be so proud).

Other than those two additions, there wasn't much shifting in the ranks. All the mains had similarly short speaking times, so their relative positions stayed the same. I wonder if Perrin will talk enough to catch up to Siuan, he's lagging a good couple of minutes behind the rest of the main 7.

Everyone on the top 10 list has a decent lead over the rest of the cast, so barring any massive additions in the final episode, I'm betting all of them are here to stay.

Gender Balance

This episode was a significant departure in gender split, with women taking an incredible 81% of the speaking time (mostly due to Siuan and Moiraine, who had 60% of the total time). Still, that only shifts the season average to 53% vs 47% (the same difference as last episode, but in the opposite direction), so the balance remains overall.

A quick aside though- because Siuan and Moiraine had SIXTY PERCENT of the speaking time?! Blood and bloody ashes, these witches gay. Honestly, after seeing this, if they aren't endgame I'll eat my blasted hat. (or maybe I'll eat Amazon. you hear me Bezo? let them stay gay and in love or else)... I can't imagine Rafe&co spending so much of their limited time establishing these two and their relationship if they didn't intend to make it a key part of the rest of the series. And giving us such a beautiful queer relationship only to rip it away would be pointlessly cruel. I honestly thing Siuan and Moiraine's relationship provides an excellent vessel for some of the main themes of the series, and using them as a pillar of the story is a smart move. I'm saving a bottle in hopes of a bittersweet ending that sees them quietly retire to a fishing hut, to live out their days in peace, letting their love slowly soften the scars left by old battles....... ;-;

Aaanyway! There's only one episode left to cover before the finale, and I've already got the data prepped, so will write up and post it tomorrow morning!

#wot speaking time #wot analysis #wheel of time #wot #wot s1e6 spoilers #wot 1x06 #wot prime spoilers #siuan sanche #moiraine damodred #moiraine x siuan #siuraine #its gonna be endgame i can taste it

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goodfish-bowl · 2 years

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A V-day poem for you freind 💖

You say your all luck and no skill

But thats not true, your writing and art kills💖

Your a friendly fish straight from the bowl

Super fantastic as a whole

I'm glad you pulled me in with your bad memes

You and kawijohn make a good team

Even though your bowl is small compared to the sea

I'm still glad you somehow met me 💖

@floralflowerpower you’re gonna make me cry this is so fricken sweet

Honestly this needs to be printed out and go on the dresser right next to grass soda and spaghetti chicken i love this so much

So much love floral! 💕💕💕💖💞💓

#goodfish was here #floralflowerpower #deserves everything #all of it #gonna go be a soggy cracker now

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heartshyuck · 3 years

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hi I'm new to Tumblr and was just wondering who your favourite writers are and any recommendations?

Hi and omg yess I have way too many and there are way too many talented writers, so I definitely won’t remember to add all of them but here are a few off the top of my head

@moonttaeil is an amazing writer! like please go read the whole frathouse series because it’s just a whole masterpiece and whoever read Jeno’s part for the society knows how fricken amazing is it and trust me you’re just gonna be blown away by the talent.

@nctream / @666donghyuck just go read everything they have written, like please you won’t be disappointed in the slightest.

@notnctu I love the colour series and the ridin club series is so good! Also if you wanna cry, like full on sob, read “Just a star”!! omg and “through the lens” is wow, basically just read everything!

@gohyuck I loved LOVED “smultronställe” and can’t wait for “Fools Gold”!! Also read “In these walls” and just everything!

@byunbaekby writes the best Hycuk angst!! like literally will have you sobbing! “You are:Loved” is my favourite but everything Aurora writes is just really good!

@hyucksie read everything! EVERYTHING! It’s all so good!

@mistymark the vigilantes series is just so good as well as everything else they have written. Again just read everything!

@misfitneo the seven sins series is amazing and I can’t wait for the next parts, also loved “oblivion”, just read everything.

@neocitybynight read everything! “Lights , camera,f*ck you” is so so good and “Of captain and college boys” is amazing and look out for part two!!

@nsheetee again read everything because everything is so amazingly well written. Favourite of mine is 20cm!

@jenonctcity the “Differences” series is a masterpiece, “my ending” left me is tear and I’ll never get over it.

@hyuckiebabie the street racer aus!! amazing, like wow and my favourite “Purple Rain”

@in-my-neofeelings read “Losing Game”, it’s amazing and beautifully written. I cried so much

@xiaocvlts I recently stalked Vera and just read everything and please you won’t be disappointed, read everything!! My favourite is “chasing midsummer”

I hope you enjoy all their amazing work, there’s so many more amazing writers out there! You’re gonna be busy reading, trust me (:

#anon #answered #recs

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snom-pixelates · 2 years

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Yoo, just dropping in rq to let you know INSANE that c!Sam comic of yours is.

Like, the DEDICATION?? Holy Shit! You understand c!Sam so insanely well, this is also one of these pieces of media dsmpblr should be legally required to look at before they have any rights to talk about c!Sam lol

I'm literally in love with every panel and the insane details in them, you certainly have every right to be proud of it! 👏👏

hiding my face in my hands rn, crying, squeeing!!! ;v; thank you so muchhh!! that means the absolute WORLD to me! i mean, I think your art is just BEAUTIFUL! absolutely wonderful! so thank you, thank you for the kind words! I'm so giddy!

but yes!! sooo many hours into that comic, my goodness. i'm just glad i finished it! i wasn't sure if i would be able to but i was like NO I GOTTA DO IT ESPECIALLY AFTER THE LAST PRISON TALK

so yeah!! i'm just!! SO glad ppl are saying the comic good and coherent and that they like it and think c!sam is in character just ahhhh alsidnalisndliansdlinaslind! the text has been changed so many times and i had to make so many new panels cause i wanted to keep up with the lore, and it was just one stream after another and just..... PHEW. i was quite frazzled about it. but i'm happy with where i ended that comic, with a bit of realization on the part of c!Sam.

cause i feel like all of this might lead c!sam fully realizing his faults. altho, with c!dream there, i picture it's not so much a redemption atm so much as a slow breakdown.

like, c!sam's gonna probably be majorly deconstructed first. hopefully he can get free before c!dream deconstructs him to the point where he can't be built up again. it's up in the air rn and GOSH it's so fun not knowing which way things are gonna go! will we get c!sam redemption?? will he go down the path of a full-on villain arc?? or spiral into complete insanity?? i am just SCREAMING at the possibilities

c!sam's messed up "therapy sessions" with c!dream are fricken amazing and can't wait for more!! just. hoo boy. i might take a break from drawing lore for a while lmaoo

#forgive my rambling i always ramble in asks #idk why #they bring out my inner rambler #asks #happy tag #<33

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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years

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the darkest hour pt 1

the destiny and chicken podcast is finally back so I finally started rewatching merlin season 4. so basically i'm just going to make a list of things that I thought about while watching

'rests on the shoulders of a young man'??? PLS BBC

the opening scene in camelot. i just love it so much. tbh i'm kind of in love with all the "inner working" stuff of working in the castle

ok also, is this the first appearance of merlin and his purple shirt????? i love it

HIM IN THE KITCHEN?? GWAINE AND PERCIVAL?? I LOVE THIS.

BRO. LANCELOT. FRICK THIS. I LOVE LANCELOT BUT ALSO JUST SANTIAGO IN GENERAL. I LOVE HIM. I'M GONNA BE SAD IN THE NEXT EPISODE

literally. merlin and arthur are so domestic. can they please no. bro bro bro i'm crying. AS;FDLKJF;ASLKD THERE'S A GIF THAT I'VE BEEN SEEING ON TUMBLR OF ARTHUR LOOKING BASHFUL ESQUE AND HE THROWS HIS QUILL DOWN AND I LOVE IT WHAT THE HECK PLS STOP I'M CRYING

gwen is absolutely perfect. how is angel coulby so pretty. also, her serving the king after everything she'd done to him. wow

morgana and morgause going to the isle of the bless 💀💀

FRICK. YOU. AGRAVAINE. I. D E S P I S E. YOU. PLS. DIE. ALREADY

omg the feast back in camelot. when merlin falls and lancelot is the one who runs after him??? and arthur ?? Idek what kind of reaction that's suppose to be. right off the bat it looks annoyed?? but it could also be 'oh i'm the prince, but also i'm worried that's merlin, jeez keep your composure man. come on now, overcompensate so no one knows how you're actually feeling'

again, it's only lancelot and gaius with merlin after he passes out.

merlin wrapped in a blanket like a little burrito is just 🥰 he's talking about the dorocha but still

also they mentioned samhain and i want to talk about but not here. anyways, i'll get back you to guys on this note.

MERLIN WAKING ARTHUR UP. stop that was so homely and i loved it.

when arthur is comforting the girl who came to camelot because her village was raided?? idk if raided is the right word but that's what i'm going with rn

oh haha when the gang rode out to the girl's village and we get jump scared by the chicken?? yes, yes i did get jump scared by the chicken

gwaine and his apples?? yes pls

i just kept on thinking that the dorocha kept reminding me of dementors. idk it's not exactly the same because dementors sort of suck your happiness and merlin couldn't use magic against the dorocha, but still idk i just felt connection vibes

literally angel is so pretty. and then gwen goes to check on the soldier despite SO MUCh danger?? i love her.

omg when gaius goes "no mortal has ever survived their touch" and i'm just thinking. MERLIN MERLIN MERLIN MERLIN MERLIN. anyways

alskfjalsjfa;sdlkfa when merlin and arthur are in arthur's chambers and the candle rolls away and they're pals. they're actually PALS. like they have some quips here and there but they're honest to god pals and not even arthur can deny that

'definitely not humorless' 'that's because you're not funny' PLS

when pervical saves those children and elyan saves them?? i love them all

ofc arthur is gonna sacrifice himself. freaking savior's complex. 'i love him though' to pieces.

UGHHH 'MY LADY' 'MY LORD' PLS. I ASDJFALSDJFALSDFJ

omg. i hate uther with everything that i am, but still arthur taking to his father and giving him a forehead kiss before he goes off to die?? and uther saying 'don't leave me" "please"??? come on. i'm crying

SLAK;FJSLAJF. idc if you ship merthur i sure as hell do but still. these moments between arthur and gwen and just *golden*. just this whole scene. i love them so much. i love arthur so much.

god this show. having the gang walk in slow mo?? pls spare me

FRICK MY LIFE. when arthur gave agravaine the seal it reminded me of the deleted scene where arthur gives merlin the seal and i just get MAD again that they cut it out. PLS

merlin's whole speech about dying for arthur. i mean, we all knew it was coming but still. and gaius. gaius sucks but still, merlin is practically his son at this point, and gaius just has to let him go and i'm crying

fricken hell the knights in their capes?? i can't handle that they look so noble omg

AHH GWEN AND LANCELOT. FIRST SANTIAGO LOOKS SO GOOD BUT LANCELOT'S SMILE WHEN HE SAYS HER NAME.

until the line where gwen goes 'will you grant me a favor' i completely forgot about this heart wrenching fic that I read. Die for you in secret by @emrysofmagic ?? dude your fic absolutely ripped me to SHREDS and i completely forgot about it until the one line and i PHYSICALLY screamed. good on you you're the best.

anyways. i'm dying at this. when lancelots says he'll protect arthur with his life and that gwen has his promise?? pls.

literally, any scene of just lance and merlin reminds of that fic now. whenever i see lancelot looking at merlin i just think he's pining and i'm crying.

god some of the scene are actually beautiful.

LITERALLY

the knights all working together?? bros being bros

merlin using magic and then doing that little lip quirk half-smile at lancelot is just UGH

aw when merlin insists on getting firewood with arthur and arthur asking if merlin is the right person and merlin saying as if arthur knows what he's talking about when it coming to collecting firewood and the knights LAUGHING?? i love them

just the whole scene of merlin and arthur together

i would parse out individual pieces but tbh just the whole thing

i love it

i love them

the callback line where they think they might've 'gotten on' if things were different?? pls

TOGETHER?? STOP RN

oh god you knew this was coming

merlin throwing himself at the dorocha instead of arthur.

all of them running towards merlin

merlin's FACE

anyways. i'll be back tomorrow to rant more about the darkest hr pt 2 so i'll see you then!

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lovespelt · 3 years

Note

SIENTJKRV OK SO—

BKDK HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON AU

BUT INSTEAD OF HICCUP AND ASTRID AS IZUKU AND KATSUKI.

KATSUKI IS STOICK AND IZUKU IS VALKA.

I JUST IMAGINE THAT ONE SCENE FROM THE MOVIE—

Katsuki cupped Izuku's cheeks, looking at him with a soft, fond, awe-loving stare that Izuku wasn't familiar with— and whispered. "You are still as beautiful as the day that I've lost you.."

AND THE PLOT WOULD BE ALL LIKE, IZUKU GOT TAKEN BY THE DRAGONS SINCE HE WAS A LITTLE BOY WHILE PLAYING WITH KATSUKI.

AND KATSUKI SWORN TO AVENGE HIS (first Love's) CHILDHOOD FRIEND'S LIFE AND TRAINED TO BE NEXT IN BEING THE CHIEF BCZ IZUKU "DIED".

INKO AND YAGI MADE HIM THE NEXT CHIEF BCZ THEY KNEW THAT WAS WHAT IZUKU WOULD'VE WANTED.

AND THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT IZUKU WAS ALIVE AND WAS LIVING AND LEARNING ABOUT DRAGONS.

He was 13 when he was taken, Katsuki and Izuku would still be friends while growing up bcz they don't have quirks here, even tho Izuku is weak, Katsuki still tries to protect him, Katsuki is still friends with Izuku bcz he didn't get much praise from his peers like the canon.

But it really messed up his head when Izuku got taken and that was the start of his hot headedness.

Idekrnrkkdk ERI AS HICCUP??? KOUTA AS ASTRID!!!

Eri was born with a horn shaped lump on her head after Katsuki became Chief (he's like,, 22 now)

But she wasn't his biological child, she was actually at another island, her father—chisaki, didn't like her appearance and he tried dropping her on a cliff.

But at this time, Izuku finally bulked up a bit and is living and familiar with dragons after 9 years and he learned everything about them and learned how to fly with them too and when he saw this man dropping a child from a cliff, he swooped in and saved Eri from the fall, the bottom was foggy so Chisaki couldn't see but he thought Eri was already dead so he walked off, not realizing there was a big ass dragon opening it's mouth to shoot fire into his whole body lmao

After that, Izuku tried raising Eri for a year with the dragons and realized that this isn't a suitable place to raise a child well and he was heartbroken by this realization and decided to maybe, give her near a village.

Perfect timing that Katsuki was out hunting in a nearby woods when Izuku was flying his dragon to go to the nearest village but then he saw this tall strong blond male hunting, he seemed to target a big deer but then he stopped when he saw two baby calves nearby and cursed out loud, making the deers run away.

And Izuku thought he was a perfect parent and all that without realizing that it was Katsuki.

So he left Eri (he hugged her tight one last time— his little snow) within Katsuki's sight and looked behind a tree. Ofc Katsuki saw the child and was like "it's parent's must've left it here to die bcz of the strange looking bump on it's forhead." And angrily took her back to his village, Izuku sighed in relief, knowing that the person that took her was a nice morale one.

And he left.

And Katsuki is all like, I'm just keeping you around till I find you a good enough family and one day Eri is all like Papa to Katsuki and Katsuki is all like Fuck shit looks like I'm a father now. And adopts Eri officially. And Katsuki mellows out again.

Eri didn't know why she had a fascination for dragons and wanting to learn about them and decided to use a journal and Katsuki was anxious (scared—) bcz his little girl acted just like Izuku, he still had Izuku's journals somewhere safe bcz he's a secret sentimental bastard and all that.

People loved Eri and shit but they were worried that there was gonna be another Izuku incident bcz of it and yada yada yada.

Gobber is Kirishima.

Tuffnut and Tuffnut as Katsuma and Mahoro.

Fishlegs as one of Tsu's little brother.

And Snotlout as that spoiled kid from the "I wanna see your cute face. Ft. Todoroki and bakugou" Episode.

Kouta is definitely Astrid.

And Eri kissed his cheeks Instead and bla bla bla.

So after most of the movie plot and Katsuki just accepted that Kouta is gonna be part of their weekend dinners from now on and the dragons when his daughter had almost died bcz of him.

They met Izuku again.

Eri learned how to do the flaming sword, she's like, 16 now. (And Izuku is like, 39 at this point but let's just make him look like he's in his mid twenties)

And Izuku revealed his face to her and was all like, "Eri..?" And Eri was all like "How did you know my name???" (And Izuku low-key blushed coz that was the name he wanted for his child to have when kacchan asked. He still didn't know that it WAS Katsuki is her dad tho.) He slowly removed his mask and kneeled to cup Eri's face and was all like "I could never forget you my little snow."

And it all clicked from there. Where she got her fondness for dragons, her little drawings of green bunnies (bcz of Izuku's mask HAHA) , her crybabyness, and her Notebooks.

She kind of adapted his traits shen she was 2 and she kind of connected some dots after she remembered her dad saying that she acted like her first love alot.

And she asked him. "...Are you Deku?"

Ofc this surprised Izuku and he was like "how did you know that name??" And she was all like "My dad talks about his first love to me because the way I acted reminded him, my dad is Chief Bakugou Katsuki from birth." And Izuku's eyes widen and he was all like "Kacchan is the Chief now?!"

Ofc they reunited at last after Katsuki tracked down where her daughter was and tried attacking Izuku coz he was wearing a mask and he did not recognize him until he was pinned to the ground (damn this guy is strong wtf?!) And Eri is like NO! STOP DEKU! THAT'S MY DAD.

And Katsuki froze and the person above him whispered "Kacchan..?"

And that ladies and gentlemen, was the third time in his 40 years of living, crying.

(first when Izuku was taken and second when he thought Eri died)

So yeah, (first Love's) Childhood friend reunion!!!

They talked alot and it was the first time Eri saw his dad smiling and laughing alot with someone that isn't her. And she just casually mentioned about how Izuku is her dad's first love and all and both became a blushing mess and stutters.

(wow never in a million years did she thought her dad would act like this,)

So they went back to Berk on their dragons (Eri did not loose a leg, and her Dragon is a Light fury instead!!!)

And Watch everyone doing a reunion for Izuku and bla bla bla and all that (we aren't gonna make the whole Stoick dying part, no fricken way,)

And both now reunited childhood friends tried to flirt with each other and being oblivious to both of their antics and the whole village find this amusing and just kept quiet while Eri thinks Kouta would have a permanent hand shape mark on his face for facepalming too many times because of both of her parental figures that act like fucking teenagers hahahaha.

Like that's their whole plot lmao, hope you enjoy!!????

(this is unedited and rushed coz it's really late where I live and I'm sorry for any possible spelling errors, it just struck me in the middle of the night and I'm too tired to reread and edit it lmao, I'm sorry,thx for reading!!)

this is rly rly cuteeeeeee. i’ve never actually seen httyd 2 or 3, but i loved this- the bits w eri and jouta were adorable too 🥺🥺🥺 i would so totally read this fic!

#also ofc the bakudeku was golden #scar-queen-owl #lovespelt.asks

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lovinlikeloki · 3 years

Text

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 05

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.2k

I was in my wolf form when my cage was being opened, I looked to the twins' cells, Wanda nodded to me ever so subtly, flickered her hands slightly and I knew. It was time. The guard opened the barred door and I took my chance, I dug my claws into his chest, he began bleeding and I pushed harshly past him. I turned back to my human form and knocked him over the head hard enough to knock him out.

I took the keys to the twins' cells from his unconscious body and swung them around my left index finger. I smiled to the twins and they smiled back.

"So..." I smirked at them, "Who wants to escape from some science Nazis?"

I shoved the key into the lock of Wanda's cell and turned it, opening the door and she smiled at me, she ruffled my hair as she left the cell and we moved onto my beloved's cell. I put the key in and turned it impatiently, wanting to see him free. When the door opened he spared no time running over to me and engulfing me in his arms.

"I knew you could do it mi prințesa," he said into my hair and I pulled back from the hug.

(My princess)

"Of course, mo chroí, have I ever failed you yet?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

(My heart)

"Enough," Wanda interrupted his answer, "You'll have time for all that when we are gone."

"She makes a point, a stór," I looked in my love's eyes before turning away.

(Darling)

"Wanda, you got the cameras in here, you have to do that before every room we enter, even then they probably know that we're escaping. Piet, I need you to get me a gun, as quick as you can, without getting caught. I'm busting us out of here and I don't care how many people's blood I spill as long as we get out alive," I order, I may be younger than them, but our escape was mostly my plan and they don't have any less respect for me because of my slight age difference.

"Got it," they replied before doing as asked. Wanda fucked with the camera in the next room and we took down the guards, Pietro picked up a gun and threw it to me, I caught it and felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I fiddled with the trigger.

I nodded to them and we began moving through the base. We made quick work of the guards that tried to capture us, a bullet shot here, some telekinetic intervention there, all in all it there didn't seem to be any problems.

We made it to the back exit and began leaving. That was when it happened. When we failed. When we were split up. We were running as fast as we could, leaving the god forsaken place when I turned around, just for a second, and saw Wanda missing.

"Mo ghrá, I said, "Where's Wanda?"

Pietro looked behind him and saw her gone as well, "I will find her," he told me before giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Be quick," I told him, "Be safe. Come back to me."

"Always, malen'kaya Volchitsa."

And with that he turned and ran back to find his sister while I kept running away.

I jolt awake, sitting up and gasping for air, eyes wide. It was just a nightmare... no, not a nightmare, a memory. That day was the last I saw of them. The last I saw of him. I didn't even get to say a real goodbye. Now he's gone.

My panting and shaking awakens Wanda, she sits up slowly before taking my hands in hers. She smiles sadly at me as tears stream down my face.

"Este în regulă draga mea, ești bine, totul este în regulă," she comforts me.

(It's okay my dear, you're okay, everything's fine)

"Níl sé, níl gach rud i gceart. Tá achan rud ag titim as a chéile arís. Ní thig liom thú a fhágáil. Fuair duine againn bás an uair deirneach," I sob to her.

(It's not, everything's not okay. Everything's falling apart again. I can't leave you. One of us died last time)

"Nu, nu este. Ultima data a fost diferită. De data aceasta vom rămâne în legătură. Mi voi fi niciodată mai mult decât un telefon depart."

(No, it's not. Last time was different. This time we will stay in touch. I will never be more than a phone call away)

Phone call. Phone call. My mind sobers as I realise what must've happened back home and I haven't even taken the time for a phone call.

"I- I have to go," I say, slipping out of my mother tongue and into English, stepping out of bed and grabbing my phone.

"Where are you-" I cut Wanda off.

"I need to make a phone call."

"Fianna, it's late."

"I have to."

With that I leave the room, I don't know where to go and so I just kinda linger in the hallway, pacing back and forth. I unlock my phone and go to my contacts, I scroll until I hit it, 'Eo' it's my contact for Eoghan. It's not what I would want my father figure's number as, but I try to keep it professional so...

I hit call and wait as the phone rings. Once. Twice. And on the third he picks up. I let out a breath as he greets me.

"Hello? Fianna? Are you okay?" he asks me.

"Ye-yeah I am," I say before biting the drawstring of my hoodie, "That's a lie. I'm, I'm not okay Eoghan," I confess to him.

"Talk t' me. What's wrong?"

"I uh, I had a nightmare," I tell him, shoving my spare hand into the pocket of the hoodie.

"Okay, nightmare," he repeats and I can practically see him nodding in understanding, "Do you want to talk about it Fi, or do you just want someone to talk to?"

I shake my head, knowing he can't see it, "Talk to someone. I actually called you to, um, to apologise. I know that you probably got dragged into my mess and I wanna make sure that you and Orlaith and the rest of you are doing alright."

There's a slight hesitation before Eoghan speaks again, "What are you talking about?"

"I mean when the feds showed up... right after I busted out of the Raft," I say slowly, confused by his confusion.

"No one showed up here Mactíre," Eoghan assures me, slipping in my merc name. "I haven't a clue what you're on about. What do ye mean busted out?"

"Okay, look, when Wanda called me I was gonna fight a couple of her friends, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well basically it all went down in this airport runway. To be honest with ye there was like twelve of us all together and it looked more like a scrap between a few chavs in a Tesco car park than a fricken civil war between the Avengers."

"Okay," Eoghan laughs at that, which was my intention, because he won't be laughing in a second.

"Basically there was this thing called the Sokovia Accords, it basically bans the Avengers from fighting without their ma and da, a bunch of governments, saying they can. Mister America and his old bestie broke that rule and so they became criminals, I and some others helped and that made us all criminals."

"Heh, I'm sorry, what the fuck?" Eoghan asks in a slightly higher octave than usual, yeah, he's pissed at me.

"Yeah... and so we were sent to this superhero jail that was in the middle of the fuckin' ocean. After a couple o' days Stars and Stripes teamed up with some Emo Hello Kitty looking fella and the freakin' Black Widow to bust us out. We're staying in Wakanda right now."

"Okay... let me get this straight," Eoghan says, exasperatedly. "You, and some of America's little mascots, fought the other half of America's mascots. Then you were thrown into a jail cruise ship-"

"It wasn't quite that luxurious Eo, I had a shock collar on," I interrupt with a deadpan tone.

"You fucking what?! Let me continue, you were thrown into a submarine jail, with a shock collar on. Couple o' days later you get broken out of said submarine jail. And now you're staying in a third world country?" Eoghan questions, clearly regretting emotionally adopting me. I don't blame him either, I'm a real problem child.

"I- technically yes. But I'm not coming home is the main point here."

"Why? Why not? Fianna this place is your home, we're you family."

"You are," I agree, fiddling with the zipper of my hoodie nervously. "But if I show up back home then word will get out where I am. I don't want to endanger my family and their jobs. Trust me. Besides, I have a place to stay."

"Where? Where the hell are you staying that would be safer than here?"

"Listen, I hate it as much as you do... probably more. I'm going to New York to stay with... Stark," I sigh, stopping my fiddling.

"Stark? Why would you do that?" Eoghan asks incredulously.

"Because it'll keep us all safe. Me away from that floating ocean pokey and the feds away from you. Trust me, it's for the best."

"But Fianna, you hate him. What about what he did? Don't you remember the pain it caused you? The pain that you caused? Mactíre," he says dangerously.

"Eoghan," I say in a low voice, laced with anger, "Don't go there. I don't want to do this, but it's for the best, if it were up to me I'd be going home... or Madripoor."

"Jesus Christ," he whispers, "Right, well you'll stay in touch, that's for sure. And you'll call Orlaith in the morning, she's worried about you... Tommy too."

I perk up at that, "Tommy? How is he? Is he okay? Have they done anything to him? I swear I'll kill them if they touched a hair on his head," I fire question after question.

"Tommy's fine, he just wants to know how you are, what you're doing etc. They haven't done anything to him, not that I know of at least. Look, I'll get Orlaith to call you in the morning, she'll have Tommy with her and you can talk to them both, okay? It's getting late."

I sigh and look to the ground, "Alright, I have to go back to sleep anyways."

"Oíche mhaith, m'iníon. Go mbeadh aisling aláinn agat."

(Goodnight, my daughter. Have sweet dreams.)

"Oíche mhaith daidí, go raibh míle maith agat."

(Goodnight dad, thanks a million.)

And with that I hang up. My eyes fog over with tears and I simply let them fall. I've been crying a lot more lately; I feel like a fricken crybaby. A lot of emotions have been stirring up and I hate it, I hate the weakness that's overcoming me. I can't let myself feel so deeply, especially negatively... not after last time.

I go back into the bedroom and get into bed. I hug myself and shrink into the hoodie as best I can. It used to be Eoghan's, this hoodie, he gave it to me when I first moved into St. Marie's. I barely had anything and he just gave me the hoodie, it's definitely not perfect, it has burns around the cuffs and the zipper always gets a bit stuck halfway up, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. It's like a safety blanket for me, it makes me think of him and feel safe. After a few minutes I eventually drift off to sleep.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆°

I stayed in the bedroom most of the morning, on my phone messaging a tumblr mutual. Her URL is FriendlessGhost17, mine is Coilean07. We met last year, round abouts when a week into me living at St. Marie's. She lives in NYC and so it might be a good idea to talk to her in case we end up running into each other. We've facetimed and called many times but we've never actually met in person.

I say my goodbyes and sigh. Life just sucks a lot at the moment, but what can I say? That's what happens when you go down the road of off-the-books illegal experimentation, I guess.

I hear a knock on the door, "Come in," I say, not looking up from my scrolling.

"You gonna join the land of the livin' today?" I look up and see Sam, arms crossed, leaning in the doorway.

"Uh, yeah, I just- I was messaging a friend," I tell him.

"Nothing revealing though, right?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Of course not," I dismiss, "I'm not an amateur. I told her I was with my sister but have to leave her again. I don't always tell the truth, but I'm always honest. It's a fine line to walk but a good loophole to have."

Sam ventures further into the room, "So you're good at what you do, that's reassuring... I think. Look I know this isn't gonna be fun for you, staying with Stark, but sometimes that's just how it is, that's how life is."

"Not gonna be fun? You really don't know me, do you?" I laugh humourlessly.

"No, no I don't," Sam admits, shaking his head and sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

"Well, essentially Stark has hurt everyone I love and, I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. It's not just gonna be 'not fun' it's gonna feel like a betrayal. But I don't wanna focus on that, I wanna enjoy my time before I go to that stuck-up, narcissistic ass."

Sam smiles for a second, "You know, Steve would be disappointed if he heard that kinda language out of you."

I raise an eyebrow, "He was in the army and from the 40s, I'm sure he has no room to talk. I bet people make assumptions and he just doesn't dispute them. I bet his birthday isn't even the fourth of July, someone assumed it was and now he lives in fear of anyone finding his birth certificate."

Sam laughed out loud at that and I had to join him, I've been on tumblr long enough to have to many thoughts about America's favourite boy scout. Sam and I talk for a while, about Steve, about Wanda, I even get some stories about his old days in the army. He tells me about the missions he flew and I learn more about his wings. Then he tells me how he met Steve and Natasha.

"So he, he lapped you how many times?" I ask incredulously.

"Thirteen. He lapped me thirteen times! And he kept saying 'on your left' to like warn me he was lapping me, like it felt like he was doing it on purpose," Sam scowls.

"He probably was, I mean I read about him a bit in school and apparently he was always a little shit, he just got away with it since he was a stick and had like every illness to ever exist in the 30s," I tell him.

"Maybe," Sam says, "But yeah, that's how we met. And then a few days later he shows up at my house with Natasha and tells me 'everyone we know is tryna kill us' like no hellos, no 'how are you's, just straight to the point."

"And you just let them in?" I cock an eyebrow.

"Well yeah, Captain America shows up at your door, what are you not gonna let him in?"

"It would make a pretty funny story don't you think? 'Captain America and Black Widow showed up at my house and I turned them down.' I think that'd be hilarious. But naw, I'd let them in surely."

Then there's a vibration from my phone. I look at the screen as it lights up and see that Orlaith sent me a snap.

I look back up to continue the conversation with Sam but he shakes his head.

"You can talk to your friends, don't worry. I just talked your ear off for the last hour or so, you can get back to your friend now," he tells me.

I smile at him softly, "Thanks Sam. And this talk was good, by the way, you didn't talk my ear off. You distracted me and I appreciate it."

He gets off the bed and turns to me, "That used to be my job you know, helping other Vets with PTSD. I thought you'd prefer to be distracted than reminded of what's happening and so I just catered to that rather than pushing you."

"Really Sam, thank you. But now I gotta have a difficult conversation about what's happening so... I guess I can't put it off any longer," I sigh.

"Good luck, Fianna, you can do this," Sam tells me before leaving and closing the door.

I open the message from Orlaith.

I find Orlaith's number in my contact list and hit call.

It only takes one ring and she picks up, "Hiiii, how did it go?"

"It went good Orlaith," I tell her, a smile already on my face from hearing her voice. "And I got to see Wands again which has done me wonders, really."

"That's great to hear, oh and you're on speaker," Orlaith tells me.

"Hey Fi," I hear Tommy's voice and I nearly start crying.

"Mo dearthair bheag Tommy, ta sé ar dóigh le do guth a cloisteáil arís. Cad é mar atá tú, coiléan bheag?" I ask, slipping into my first language after hearing my baby brother's voice for the first time in a couple weeks.

(My little brother Tommy, how amazing it is to hear your voice again. How are you, little pup?"

"Táim I gceart, Mactíre," he mocks, "Agus an miste leat gan ag cuir sin orm? Ní páiste mé níos mó!"

(I'm fine, Mactíre. And do you mind not calling me that? I'm not a kid anymore!)

"Ach is páiste thú dom. Bheul, ar a laghad is dearthair bheag s'agam thú. Má chuireann sé isteach ort an méid sin, stadfaidh mé."

(But you're a kid to me. Well, you're my little brother at least. If it annoys you that much I'll stop.)

"Hey! Is grá liom go bhfuil sibh in ann labhairt le chéile ach tá mise anseo fostaaa!" Orlaith butts in.

(Hey! I love that you're able to talk but I'm here toooo!)

"Ceart go leor, sionnach," Tommy says, "Cad é ar mhaith leat a labhairt faoi?"

(Fine, Fox. What would you like to talk about?)

"First of all, that nickname is so old, like first year old. And that was like four years ago. Anyway, let's start with where your big sis is? Huh, how about that?" Orlaith begins, slipping back into English.

"Well... I may or may not be in the palace of Wakanda," I reveal. I can trust them, they won't tell.

"You're where?" Tommy questions.

"Wakanda."

"Get de fuck!" he exclaims.

"I'm not messing Tom. And I'm not staying here much longer either."

"You're coming back home again?" Orlaith asks.

"Not- not exactly, Orls," I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out a way to tell them, to tell Tommy that I'm not coming home. "I'm going to New York, I'm going to New York, a thaisce, and I have to stay with Stark."

(Love {term of endearment})

"With- With Stark as in Tony Stark?" Orlaith asks.

"As in the one who you despise with a burning passion?" Tommy adds on.

"Yeah, that's, that would be him," I sigh.

"How are you- How will he survive that?" Tommy asks.

"Why do you have to go to that cunt?" Orlaith questions at the same time.

"Orlaith!" I hear Eoghan scolding her in the background, they must be at St. Marie's.

"Sorry Eoghan, sorry Tommy," Orlaith apologises.

"Hey Eoghan," I say into the phone.

"Hey Fia, I'm just making sure these two got through de ye. I still think ye should be here, but never mind me, keep yer chin up, I'll talk de ye later," he tells me, his parental feelings slipping through the professional mask he tries to wear.

"Of course Eo, we'll talk later," I reassure.

"I have de leave now, Liam's looking another pint," he tells me.

"Bye Eoghannnn," I sing.

"Goodbye Fianna."

"Well, back to our conversation," Tommy says, "Why are you going de Stark of all people?"

"Essentially I might have accidentally made myself an international criminal when helping Wands," I say, my voice raising octaves as I speak.

"Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey they rode in on. How did ye manage that Fianna?" Tommy asks incredulously.

"Tomás Ronan McConnell!" I reprimand. "What have I tol' you about blasphemy?"

"Not to," he grumbles.

"Exactly, so would you like to rephrase that?" I raise an eyebrow and I know he can feel it through the phone.

"How did you manage de be a criminal helping your sister?" he rephrases the question.

I smile at Tommy calling Wanda my sister, he might never have met her but he still considers her my sister, and even his in a way.

"Look, it was just a job gone wrong. It's not even... it's not my choice, I have de go t' Stark because he can protect me from the Feds. But... I won't be with him for long," I lie. I don't want to lie, but I need to protect them, if they think I'm coming back then they won't take it so hard.

"Right, well ye better get back soon okay? I miss my bitch of a big sister!" Tommy tells me and tears prick my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be back soon," I nod, tears falling as I keep my voice steady, "And when I get back we're spending the whole day together, I don't care what Erin and Shéa have to say about it."

"All three of us," Orlaith adds, "And we're gonna have the best time, right? We'll go to The Amusements and we'll go de the cinema and we'll go to Foyleside and just spend the whole day together.

"We will," the tears falling with ease but I keep my voice level, "God, I can't wait to see you two again. When I get back yous'll be sick of me, clinging de yous like a wane."

There's a beat of silence as we think about that day... the day that won't come for a long time. Not that they know that. It still hurts though; I miss my brother and my best friend. But no more tears, I wipe them away and clear my throat.

"We have to go," Orlaith says guiltily. "Mam is looking me back in ten minutes and Tommy needs to get back before they realise how long he's been gone."

"Okay, okay," I inhale sharply "Slán Tommy, slán Orlaith. Is grá liom sibh béirt le mo chroí iomlán. Feicfidh mé sibh gan mhoill, yeah?"

"Slán Fianna, is grá liom thú. Feicfidh mé thú níos moille," Orlaith says.

"Slán Fianna, chonaic mé thú níos moille. Is grá liom thú," Tommy says and I laugh a little.

"Bye," I say and I hang up.

I hear a knock at the door and wipe my tears quickly, erasing any evidence of my crying. I tell them to come in and it's Bucky. We haven't really spoken much, between not knowing each other and wanting to stay close to the ones we're leaving we haven't had the time to bond, I guess.

"Hey," he says timidly, staying in the doorway.

"Hey," I reply, just as timid.

"The others are discussing their plans, I think everyone's moving out tomorrow," he informs me.

"Okay, thanks for letting me know," I say, putting my phone in my hoodie pocket before standing and making my way to leave the room.

#peter parker x oc #peter parker x reader #spiderman x oc #spiderman x reader #peter parker #fianna macbhfloscaidh #the lone wolf #the lupine saga #nyx writes #jynx writes #pyre writes

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