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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

#YGO #yugioh #yu gi oh #Yuugi Muto #Jounouchi #Honda #Anzu #Miho #yo yo gang #Hirotani #Yuugi and the gang do serious property damage

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sarahreesbrennan · 4 years

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How come between Season of The Witch and Daughter of Chaos, we skipped Sabrina's dark baptism and Tommy being resurrected/killed and went straight into the Greendale 13 threat? Loving the books so far, just curious. 🖤🖤

That’s a great question and I’m so happy you’re enjoying! I’m so sorry this reply is late, I am on unexpected deadline but I know I have a few Sabrina, Fence and In Other Lands answers owing and I am delighted the questions were asked!

There is a confusion that often arises because the category of media tie-in novels (books set in the world of a media property) has two main subcategories. They are similar and have much in common, but aren’t the same.

A) One is novelizations, which is basically a book that tells the same story as the movie/TV show/graphic novels, but through a different medium. The story covers the same space of time, and includes much of the same dialogue. It’s the same story told in a different way.

B) Two is tie-in books, which tell different stories that fit in before or after, or in the spaces between the story. Often tie-in books start with prequels, telling the tale of how the characters get to the place before the story began. It’s a different story but it’s crafted specifically to tie in with the larger story.

Both subcategories are set in the specific story world. Both offer insight into the characters, their thoughts and feelings, and secret motivations, but they are different kinds of story.

I had no idea of these distinctions before I started to write tie-in books myself, so I explain here because hey, knowledge is always useful. I’ve now read a lot of them, because I wanted to teach myself how to write them and because they’re fun, so I thought discussing examples might illustrate the difference.

The Iron Man novelization by Peter David is widely considered especially good. I’ve read it and I like it a lot: great echoes, perfect story beats. (I discuss it pretty technically because I was reading it in order to teach myself to write a novelization, as opposed to a tie-in novel. I have written a novelization, but not in the Sabrina universe and not under my name for contractual reasons!) It tells the story of the first Iron Man movie, how Tony Stark became Iron Man. A novelization means a lot of the (in this case funny and great) dialogue from the movie must be used, but then with a novelization you have to get pretty specific about why the characters said what they said, and how they felt when they said it. One thing I liked a lot in the novel was the insight offered that Tony Stark’s actions at the beginning of the story were frequently driven by sheer boredom--that he was a genius who wasn’t given enough scope for his genius, and was acting out.

An example of a fabulous tie-in book is Tess Sharpe’s The Evolution of Claire, a book that ties in with the Jurassic World movies, a prequel of how the heroine Claire gets involved in the dubiously moral world of dinosaur park creation. So it happens before the events of the movies, but by reading it you understand Claire better, her ambitions and frustrations. Another such is Leigh Bardugo’s Wonder Woman novel, Warbringer, showing Diana’s much earlier years, and making you understand more deeply how Diana evolved her moral philosophy and her secret insecurities.

There’s a great article in the Guardian about tie-in novels: https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2018/jul/17/tie-in-novelisations-star-wars-jurassic-world

To add to the confusion, stories can have both novelizations and tie-in novels.

Star Wars famously had absolute masses of tie-in novels. The Star Wars universe is so popular it even has junior and adult novelizations--two different novelizations of the same movie. Patricia C. Wrede, a rather fabulous YA/MG SFF writer, wrote the junior novelizations of the Star Wars prequels. (I’ve read them but if you want to get started on Patricia C. Wrede I would recommend her Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Nothing to do with Star Wars, I just love them.)

Star Wars also has category B, the tie-in novels. For instance, Resistance Reborn by Rebecca Roanhorse, which is a story that takes place in between the events of the movies The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker. I have also read this book. Very cool interstellar war and spies action, but also... for them that like that kind of thing, among which I would include myself... Poe ties Finn’s tie. Thank u Rebecca Roanhorse.

Similarly, there’s a novelization of Maleficent 2 (Maleficent 2: Mistress of Evil by Elizabeth Rudnick), but there’s also a tie-in novel set between Maleficents 1 and 2 (Heart of the Moors by Holly Black) telling you what happened in between the events of those movies. Significant things can happen in those spaces--deaths, courtships, mysteries solved and secrets told. A dungeon scene between Prince Philip and Maleficent is in Heart of the Moors. It’s very important.

So in a novelization, a retelling of a story through a different medium, you get the same events as in the story. But you might get extra scenes that cast a different light on the story, and you will get access to the inner thoughts and motivations of the characters.

And a tie-in book is usually set in between the seasons of a TV show/movies/issues of a graphic novel. It’s a story made to fit into a liminal space, and meant to shed light both on what happens in between the stories, but to cast light before itself and behind itself--so you might learn more about the characters’ pasts, or learn things about their feelings that will illuminate why they behave in a certain way in the future.

For the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, I was hired to write tie-ins, so I wrote a prequel (Season of the Witch) which shows the summer before Part 1, the autumn when Sabrina turns sixteen and has to sign her soul away. It’s an adventure with a rusalka, but also shows us how Sabrina came to be 100% certain her wild witch cousin Ambrose would have her back, why she was insecure enough to do memory spells on her boyfriend (Harvey), and it’s an opportunity to know how the witch world works before our heroine does.

Then I wrote Daughter of Chaos, which happens over mortal New Year’s, right after the Christmas episode that ends Part 1, and before Part 2--because the show didn’t have mortal New Year’s. That was a new adventure that could also tell us how people felt after the events of Part 1, and why people might act the way they would in Part 2. It’s about bad luck spells and enchanted towns, but it’s also about coping with a break-up and how that can put you on a different path, about bereavement and trauma caused by magic, and about longing for affection. Plus it provides us the first hints about hell, before our heroine sees the sparks fly.

Same deal with book 3, Path of Night, which happens between Parts 2 and 3, in the early spring while Sabrina’s boyfriend (Nick) is in hell. It’s a quest for an item of power to release your beloved from suffering, but it’s also about what happens when you ask a lot (too much?) from your friends, how you can climb out of trauma toward loving relationships (between mean-girl witches and wicked-witch cousins), and how trauma can take someone apart (nobody in hell is having a good time). Plus it provides knowledge about hell before our heroine gets it in Part 3, and glimpses pertaining to heaven.

This month my tie-in novel with C.S. Pacat’s Fence graphic novels comes out (September 29!) and it’s set after the events of volume 4, though the book Striking Distance also works (like Season of the Witch) as an entryway into a new world and an introduction to the characters (in this case a fencing team at an elite boarding school). You try to make every book a possible gateway, but a book 1 definitely should be. (Still, I read Vampire Diaries Book 4 first and caught on just fine, and I recall one reader who read Daughter of Chaos/Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Book 2 and was like, ‘I do not watch this show and did not read Book 1, but I get everything and also Nick Scratch can get it.’)

Another person reading the Sabrina books was like, ‘Sabrina talks a lot about her Dark Baptism in Season of the Witch but then it never happens, Sarah Rees Brennan!’ And this is true, because it happens on the show, and I wasn’t writing novelizations. I think writing Sabrina’s Dark Baptism and Tommy’s death would have been cool and heartbreaking, but I wasn’t meant to retell a lot of scenes from the show. I did snabble a few scenes, but only ones I could use specifically for the purposes of telling the new, in-between stories.

For both novelizations and tie-ins, you get the scripts of the media property you’re working with. Sometimes you get several versions of the scripts. Sometimes you don’t know until you watch the filmed version that scenes got cut. (There were several scenes I read about in the Sabrina scripts, which were cut later, that I used to inform the books. Plus sometimes it’s just fun to watch something and be like, I KNOW WHY e.g. SHE HAS THIS ACCENT/HIS SHIRT DISAPPEARED.) For both you get insights into the story, and especially insights into points of view, that I think you can really only get with books.

For both novelizations and tie-ins, you consult with the writers for the media property, are told things to do and things not to do, and have opportunities to do other optional research. (Things I have done in pursuit of better tie-in novels: written to Sabrina actors and asked them their character thoughts and how they played certain scenes. Forced C.S. Pacat to play with my kitten on a skype call while I took her notes about fencing and feelings.)

For both novelizations and tie-ins, you have to write them fast, and you have highly specific contracts. Christopher Golden, who’s written many Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Daredevil novels, discusses some details here: https://iamtw.org/from-daredevil-to-buffy-christopher-golden/

So, that’s Options A and B. There’s also Mystery Option C, stories that blur the lines between the two, such as the events of a story told from the point of view of supporting characters, so you see both behind the scenes, the scenes and often before-and-after for the story proper. Tom Stoppard’s play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, focusing on Hamlet’s pals from uni. I don’t know what you’d call them. I just wanted to say that they exist too.

Thank you for reading! (Both this and the books.) I hope this was informative and not too dull. :)

#chilling adventures of sabrina #caos #star wars #novelisation #novelization #tie in book #tie in novel #fencecomic #jurassic world #maleficent 2 #buffy the vampire slayer #daredevil #hamlet #iron man

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clansayeed · 4 years

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Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 3: The Truth

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

As it turns out the Trinity is still in New York. A desperate Nadya agrees to meet Valdas and his promise of answers, but is she ready for the truth behind her visions?

[READ IT ON AO3]

Nadya, Lily, and Jax agree to wait until the seventh and final night of Valdas’ offer.

So, naturally, Nadya goes the night before on her own.

The vampire watches her with an uncomfortable curiosity. It doesn’t carry the usual weight of immortality she associates with him. A year ago he moved like every limb was dragging Atlas’ burden by iron chains but now he’s… well he’s just different.

“You know, I was convinced you would wait until the last day to come.”

Nadya shifts uncomfortably in her chair. “I can go if you want,” though she really can’t and hopes he doesn’t take her up on it, “and come back tomorrow.”

“No no, that isn’t what I meant at all. I’m merely surprised. Help remind me to ask for cash back when we’re finished here, would you? I owe Isseya a few hundred for the bet.”

There’s something just… so wrong about a man over two thousand years old talking about ‘cash back.’ Maybe that’s why Kamilah always insists on paying where Nadya can’t see.

But the mention of his partner makes Nadya uneasy. They’ve always been joined at the hip. “She won’t be joining us?”

Valdas shakes his head. “No, not tonight at least. I thought it best we keep this an intimate affair.”

“Ew.”

He gives her a chastising look but says nothing more on it.

Nadya doesn’t know what she was expecting; what she would have done if she had waited for her friends to come along as backup, or if she’d sucked it up and told Adrian and Kamilah about going behind their backs in the worst way. It’s not hard to imagine their looks of disappointment.

Even not knowing what to expect, though, didn’t mean Nadya had prepared herself for a place that’s actually kind of cute. An inside that smells like fresh coffee grinds and vanilla and a surprisingly decent bit of sidewalk real estate gated off with a wooden fence painted glossy black.

Not that any of that eases her worry. She’s prepared herself for the worst — tenses up at every passerby, catches herself halfway reaching for the stake in her purse when the vampire across so much as shifts in his seat.

Only Valdas is the epitome of a gentleman. He plays the part he’s dressed for almost too well. Still, Nadya reminds herself not to be fooled, not even for a second. She’s seen what he can become; what he can do. Sometimes she still tastes Vega’s ashes tickling at the back of her throat.

He glances up at the strings of yellowed lights crossed aimlessly over their heads. “It’s a rather charming place, wouldn’t you say? And, I hope, agreeable to your anxieties. Though I wish you would have let me take you somewhere —”

“Somewhere what,” interrupts Nadya; words bursting with accusation, “somewhere secluded and private, or with leather and torture devices?”

Valdas raises a single dark eyebrow in an ‘are you quite finished?’ way and no, she’s not — not by a long shot. But she’s willing to admit (silently, to herself, not out loud whatsoever) she might be making it worse for herself at this point.

Especially when he answers.

“Somewhere proper; with enough courses to get us through what I’m sure will be a difficult if enlightening conversation for you and I to have, Nadya.”

Yeah, especially then.

“Oh. No — this is fine.”

Someone clears their throat behind her; makes Nadya almost jump out of her seat in a heart attack. The barista does his level best not to laugh at her while he adjusts his tray bearing a steaming mug on a saucer and a plate of tiny finger sandwiches. “Oh, we didn’t —”

“Here will be fine,” Valdas pushes his folded newspaper aside, “thank you.”

He’s young; one of those obviously-New York types with several studs in his ears and a streak of blue in his blond hair, and likely a long-time server judging by the way his face goes red at Valdas’ simple act of common decency. Run, she wants to shout because she’s seen that darkly alluring smile before and nothing good can come of it, run while you still can.

Instead Nadya mouths a voiceless thanks. They are left alone.

“I didn’t order anything.”

“I took it upon myself.”

“But you didn’t know which night I would show up.”

“Indeed. After the third night they knew my order by heart.” He glances appraisingly towards the inside cafe — Nadya on the other hand can’t focus on anything but their reflections in the glass. “It’s hard to find attention to detail like that these days outside of hired help.”

With pursed lips Nadya pushes the latte away. “You really shouldn’t have. I can’t —”

“It’s soy milk, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Uhm, what? Yeah — only one of them finds her surprise funny and hint; it’s not Nadya.

“At the Awakening Ball, shortly after our first introductions. You were rather loudly threatening Raines and Sayeed with what I believe was a platter of artisan cheeses?”

“That’s… very diligent of you.” Creepy. It’s creepy. It’s so so freakin’ creepy.

Valdas gives a soft snort of amusement. “I’m old, Nadya, but not antiquated. In fact I’ve been looking for someone to discuss the latest season of The Crown & the Flame with, should you have time after our business is concluded.”

“That’s not —” This is so getting out of hand; more than that its wasting time.

She can’t let this chance slip through her fingers. “What are you trying to do? I didn’t come here to have small talk or drink coffee or talk TV, and I’m pretty dang sure that’s not why you invited me but if it is then tell me now because I don’t have time for it.”

“Very well,” he says just a little too flippantly for her growing irritation, “I thought you might be more comfortable this way. I apologize.”

“Apology only accepted if you start talking.”

The vampire leans forward a little too quickly for Nadya’s liking. All that arrogance, immortality; suddenly so plain on his expression he might as well have ‘VAMPIRE’ painted on his forehead.

It takes everything in her not to move away.

So many questions and now she can finally get her answers. But it leaves Nadya a bit stalled on where to start. But Valdas stays eerily patient.

Okay, big questions. “Am I dying?”

“You’re mortal, you are dying from the moment you’re birthed.” Which is not the answer Nadya’s looking for and he knows it. “But no, not more than any other.”

“Do you plan on killing me?”

“No; you are far too valuable for that.”

“What does that mean?”

Valdas carefully chooses every word to answer; “It means… that we are very happy you are alive, Nadya.” And his not-answers feel a little too close on the family tree to Nadya’s mostly-truths.

Though if he thinks she missed that “we” thing he’s very much mistaken.

“So my nightmares, what exactly are they?”

He’s too casual — plucking one of the sandwiches on the tray and nibbling it idly. Nadya entertains the image of her throwing it in his face… it’s a nice one.

“Nightmares, you say? So the visions only come to you when you sleep?”

“Visions?”

“Visions, mental images, nightmares — name them what you will but they are the same thing. Events you never witnessed, lives you never lived…”

“People I’ve never killed?”

The words come out of her so scared, so broken; and Nadya’s almost angry for it. A sound so pitiful that even Valdas — the same man who threatened Jax so easily, hurt Adrian and Kamilah so easily, killed Vega so easily — lets sympathy slip through the seams of him.

“And those, yes. They are all a part of you; they have been all your life even if you were once unaware, and they will remain that way from this day to your last day.”

Nadya shakes her head so hard it hurts. “No. No way I — I can’t feel like this forever. I won’t survive it. I… I won’t. I feel less and less like me every time I wake up. There won’t be enough of me left.” I worry there isn’t enough already.

And he really sits there without an answer for her? Two thousand years and this is all he’s good for; making her feel like her life is already over? What good is it to live for so freakin’ long if it can’t help her; save her?

“What did you do to me,” it feels good to ask; really good — better than she’s felt in a while, “why did you do it? How do I stop it, or make it hurt less, or make it happen less, or —”

“Forgive me —” —she doesn’t— “— but… you believe I am somehow responsible for these visions? When I just told you they were yours from your first breath.”

“Well what else am I supposed to think?” Nadya snaps. “My head almost explodes, you do some weird psychic mojo that makes it better but also makes it worse, and the last thing your bonkers girlfriend—who conveniently isn’t here—says to me is “enjoy my gift?” I gotta say — that all seems pretty freakin’ responsible to me!”

The last time she raised her voice at Valdas, Nadya had Kamilah and Adrian combined to back her up. Yet here she is, no immortality at her back, and honestly she doesn’t even care.

“I am scared, okay? So, so scared — scared enough that I’m doing stupid things that I know I shouldn’t be doing, lying to the people I love, going behind their backs and putting myself in danger and you know why?”

“Because fear is an irrational motivator.”

“Shut up. It’s because I would do all of that again and again and again if it helps me find a way to make this stop. If it takes away all of these horrible feelings that aren’t even my own and… and stops tearing me up inside.”

Who are you, Nadya asks herself, because they may be her words in her voice but they’re so wrong — so not Nadya. And that just adds onto her already existing fear.

It’s not fair.

None of this is fair.

Valdas waits until Nadya catches her breath; until he can hear the slowing down of her heart. “Are you quite done?”

“I dunno,” her face is still flushed, “but… sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

“For telling you to shut up.” Because she’s pretty dang certain if anyone else had tried that they wouldn’t have gotten to finish saying their piece.

But she did. Valdas let her get it out until she was pink in the face and more than a little hot under her coat collar despite the bitter night breeze. Why?

“No one should ever feel the need to apologize for their grief.”

Nadya glances up from her white-knuckled hands; but Valdas isn’t there — not mentally, anyway. His focus is far off and distant… millennia away. “Grief is a complex thing felt in complex ways. It kills us inside… but the pain of it is proof we are alive, too.”

“I’m not grieving though. I can’t grieve. I have to hope there’s a way to fix it.”

“If my efforts to ebb the storm still leave you this way Nadya, I must admit I’m doubtful of it.”

How is it something so bleak leaves her so breathless?

“What do you mean,” she chokes out, “what—what efforts?”

“The ones you would so quickly write off as malice. Though I suppose I’ll give you one thing — my beloved Iss’ has a knack for making most things sound malicious.”

“That’s an understatement…” and apparently the only bad thing he’ll ever say about her, “so—so wait. I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Valdas does the decent thing and turns his face away, but that doesn’t mean Nadya misses the color me surprised raised brow.

“Psychic prominence can be innate, yes, but when you reach a certain age most talents are easily learned. I had hoped the web I was allowed to spin in your mind that night at the Musea Sanguis would hold long enough to bring us to this point naturally. Sadly this was not the case.”

He offers his hand out palm-up between them. He could just as easily take what he wants from her but no, he’s offering.

And the more she thinks about it the more Nadya realizes Valdas had done the same that night. “I thought… when I touched this—this column I could’ve sworn I… that something to do with you had…”

Valdas nods with growing understanding.

“Well that’s to be expected. When psychic abilities grate up against one another it’s a bit like grit-paper on stone; the outer layer of the stone crumbles into a fine powder, yes? The influence that was being pressed unto you turned you into the grit — the rest of the world; your stone.”

“So it’s all in… in touch?” Nadya looks down at her hands as she asks.

“No, but given the borders of your capabilities…” The curl of his fingers draws them both down to watch. “Physical contact is a tether in any instance. But objects have memories just like people do, Nadya. And we vampires are an odd in-between of the two.

“I could show you — if you wish.”

Their fingertips couldn’t be more than four—five inches apart. But to Nadya it looks like miles; like ages stretching out across the tabletop.

Two thousand years of history, of life; of love. And the very idea of inducing this terror upon herself has Nadya actually questioning her sanity — and rightly so. But there’s a power in it, too; in controlling it, not letting it control her.

The last of her reservations are dashed when her mind unhelpfully supplies the memory of Kamilah in the penthouse kitchen — hands hesitant to hold her, to hurt her; fear hidden in the familiar dark of her eyes, fear both of and for Nadya. Because she’s not torturing herself enough already, apparently.

“You don’t have to. The choice is yours.” Really though — is it?

No. “No, it’s not.”

Nadya sucks in a deep breath and dives in headfirst by giving Valdas her hand.

In his dreams they do this bathed in sunlight. But dreams are for the young and the innocent. He is the Made-God Valdemaras and he is neither.

The rapier catches in the grooves of his vest and bends dangerously close to snapping. Behind him, Isseya laughs giddy and without care.

“You know, you really should be cheering on your Maker, darling girl.”

Valdas rounds on her but she meets him petulantly prideful. “Should I? Lucky for me that I am free to champion whomever I wish.”

“Fair enough. I would champion him too, if I could.”

They both look to watch him pull the ribbon from his hair; it falls damp around his shoulders — little golden wisps clinging to the sweat on his forehead. The exhaustion of his efforts flashes bright in the deep red of his eyes but his smile is as unwavering as his beauty.

“I’m flattered, truly,” Cynbel croons to the pair of them, “but that would leave me with no one worthy of a good spar and you know how troublesome my spells of boredom can be.”

Likely that he thinks the wink he gives their girl is a charming one. But taken with him as they are their love does not blind them — not anymore.

“Indeed.” Valdas clicks his tongue and begins to undo the clasps of his suit. “But that is enough sparring for tonight, I think.”

“And what of my prize?”

Before he can say another word strong arms embrace him close; hold him in the rough-hewn fingertips that claim Valdas’ body as easily as they cradle it. When he looks up it’s to the familiar sight of adoring eyes; of endless devotion.

As if the kiss Cynbel steals from him doesn’t say as such enough on its own.

“Satisfactory?” Valdas asks his Golden Son — though he already knows the answer.

“Rather I would call it divine.”

He decides he will commit this, right here, to the parts of his memory that will never wane with the ages.

At the very least he is owed that. They all are.

Nadya and Valdas realize it at the same time. The trembling of their joined hands isn’t Nadya’s fault at all, but rather the rarest and greatest slip of the vampire’s composure.

But he doesn’t let her go. He can’t, she accepts solemnly, because this wasn’t about showing me anything. It was about seeing.

It was about him.

So Nadya spares him the indignity and brings her hand back to rest in her lap. Valdas startles as if from a deep sleep; runs his hands over his face and Nadya can’t help but hurt for him as she watches that careful mask slide back into place.

“Forgive me,” he clears his throat abruptly, “I wasn’t expecting you to be this, ahem, advanced — for you to be able to project the, erm —”

“‘No one should ever feel the need to apologize for their grief.’”

The vampire focuses on her sharply — the look he gives her makes her feel complex and worth studying. Or maybe she’s just feeling him still; feeling the things that break his heart with every passing day. When he realizes then that she’s sincere — that Nadya repeats his earlier sentiments because she believes they will heal him somehow — he visibly eases.

“You are wiser than your years, you know.”

“Lately they aren’t exactly my years though, are they?”

In her lap Nadya digs around in her purse and pulls out a small journal. Even just the sight of it makes her queasy but she has no one to blame but herself. When she tries to toss it down between them Nadya finds her grip only tightening — her fear of its discovery so innate she has a hard time letting it go even willingly.

Valdas sees this and reaches out; strangely careful to avoid touching Nadya directly as he pries it free. “What is this?”

“A journal.”

“Yes, I can see that.” He begins flipping through the book; eyes roaming over Nadya’s neat scrawl. Page after page of it; filled from top to bottom in various colored pens and then some. Tabbed notes and scribbled margins — but the closer he gets to the end the more chaotic the entries become.

Careful recall hours later turned into hasty ramblings in the throes of panic. The ravings of a mad woman.

“I don’t always remember,” explains Nadya, “but I write down what I can.”

“What you can remember?”

“What I can stomach.”

If anyone understands it would be him. He’s practically dripping in blood; it oozes from his pores just like his infallible persona. And Nadya hates that she knows this with certainty.

Valdas stops on a page near the end; leans forward intensely as he tries to decipher her cursive’s best impression of wet noodles. Do you know how hard it is to write with gel pens, hands shaking and slippery from sweaty palms, in a blacked out room when you can’t tell the difference between the pages and the bodies piling up before your eyes?

Pretty freakin’ hard.

The way he reads it though — like some riveting tale to stand the test of time. In a way it does, maybe. “I was here for this,” and he sounds a little too amused for her liking; nothing in that awful book is amusing, “we all were, even dear Kamilah. From the tone with which you write I would say this is the petit Lafayette’s account of the siege of his township.

“You write with great passion; ever considered a career in fiction?” He pushes the journal back her way with a single finger. Nadya practically snatches it up to be buried back in her bag. Underneath the work notepad and pens, her glasses case and the stake she is never without.

Only when her secrets are six feet under does Nadya relax.

“I wouldn’t dream of exposing the world to those terrible things.”

“The world has already been exposed to them.”

“Well I shouldn’t have been, but I didn’t really get the chance to choose did I?” Nadya stares at him hard. Valdas has the good sense not to justify a reply.

Already the city is well into bed with the night around them. The cafe window bathes the pair and the sidewalk in soft yellowing light but directly across the street neon pinks and blues flicker out of the corner of her sight.

How long have they been here, she wonders, but can’t muster up the courage to look at her phone. They have to know by now; they have to. Lily’s probably already GPSed her and they’re all on their way, crammed into Jax’s fake plumbing van, ready to jump out and hog tie Valdas while shoving a dirty rag into his mouth… actually maybe he’s on to something with this ‘fiction writer’ idea.

“Why didn’t I get to choose, Valdas?” Because he’s old — he’s so old which means he has to know. He has to. That’s why she’s here. That’s why she’s risking everything to be here.

“Rarely are we given the opportunity to choose our own destiny.”

“But it’s possible, right?”

He gives a reluctant nod. “Yes… for others. But not for you, Nadya. I would have thought this, here—tonight—had given you clarity of that.”

Clarity? More like the exact opposite. Nadya feels deeper in the fog than ever and that’s just fact. But is it so wrong for her to hold out even a crumb of hope?

Valdas sees this — her resistance — and maybe he even admires her for it. The man lifts his hand and Nadya readies herself to flinch away—don’t touch me pleasedon’ttouchme I don’t want to see any more please—but he hovers it just shy of her skin. So close he can feel the heat of her cheek against his palm.

“It’s unfortunate what little control you did have was taken from you so soon.”

“I don’t understand.”

His brow furrows. “I said as such, remember? You were always meant to walk this path but Jameson’s influence sped the world up beneath your feet; sent you along farther than you were meant to be.”

Shut the front door.

Nadya recoils so hard her chair legs scrape against the concrete loud and jarring. Suddenly all the little beautiful things around them — the lights, the baristas winding down inside, even the people just passing by beyond the gate — seem dull; lifeless.

“Ja—Jameson? What are you talking about?”

He had even agreed with her: it made sense to think Valdas was the one doing all the pulling of the strings. But okay — so it isn’t him. Jameson, though? “Jameson. Jameson, Jameson. Like the weird little librarian guy; the one from Adrian’s trial. That. Jameson.”

“Yes…” answers Valdas, and Nadya really isn’t a fan of how hesitant he says it, “He’s the only prominent psychic in the country. Moreso than myself, even.”

Holy… crap. Totally not a conclusion she would have even put under the ‘Extremely Unlikely Possibilities’ category — like at all. But the wild thing is the more the idea has time to marinate the more Nadya’s starting to get it. The more she’s starting to believe him because somehow it makes… sense?

“No,” no, remember who this is, remember how he lied so easily and condemned Adrian to death, “no no, that’s not… he’s a member of Kamilah’s clan!”

Which apparently is news. “Is he really? That’s surprisingly deceptive of him.”

Surprisingly deceptive. Ha!

This is too much to process. Nadya’s still reeling — she’s still him in a way, still feeling the pressure of his eternal life crushing her own heart in a stone grip. It doesn’t make sense and it also makes total sense; she just isn’t certain which one of them is real.

That doubt screams at her through the pain still growing. How dare you trust him, it growls; a monster hiding under the bed, after what he did to Adrian, after what they did to Adrian, to Kamilah, to you! Are you really so desperate and so far gone?

Of course she remembers his lies. So easy and flawless and done on the thinnest whim because of what — a rumor; a ghost hidden behind another man’s face? The pain he’d caused them all…

“You can’t expect me to trust you.”

“Perhaps not ‘expect’ so much as hope I’ve proven enough to you tonight that such trust comes willingly.”

“Do you really think it’s that easy?” She bites the words off her tongue in chunks of anger; frustration. “Or is it that you think I’m still just some dumb human who will believe the scary old vampire without even a question otherwise.”

“Quite the opposite. I think you resilient, resourceful, and yet reticent to act on impulse — when you’re of sound mind that is.”

“So you’re calling me nuts.”

“I’m saying the fault isn’t yours. And if you’re still hesitant to believe me then there’s a very simple way to prove the truth.”

The second time Nadya holds his hand is much less reluctant. Maybe part of her wants to get it over with. Maybe whatever’s left hopes she’ll find something wrong in him; his intentions. Like a validation.

She squeezes so hard it hurts her palm but what is feeble mortal strength compared to, well, him? And…

“Nothing?”

He keeps them connected — really just completely dedicated to this whole proving himself trustworthy thing, apparently. “Don’t sound so disappointed.”

But really; there’s nothing. Not the low-key anticipatory bombardment of visions and the feelings that come with them. Not voices or sensations that aren’t her own. And not even some weird warm glow of altruism either.

It’s comforting as much as it is worrisome but in the absence Nadya realizes just how tired she is.

“You’ve helped me, tonight.” There are so many things to tell Kamilah, Adrian. Finally a step closer and she gets to rub being right in their faces on top of it. “Really… really helped — maybe more than you know.”

His chin raises slightly. “Is that a ‘thank you?’”

“It’s a question.”

Why did you do it?

Valdas’ thumb tickles the bare skin of her wrist in gentle motions. It’s intimate — weirdly so. Which means Nadya is completely justified when she takes her hand back.

Until he squeezes tighter, that is.

“This was the last act of my own free will. Perhaps not forever—hopefully not forever; I’ve had quite a few forevers already and they are dreadfully long.”

Nadya tugs again in vain. It’s like a completely different man sitting across from her, now. Darker; deeper and digging deeper still. She doesn’t want to dig deeper, though, but the longer Valdas holds on the more the choice is taken from her.

Another thing taken from her.

Her voice cracks slightly. “Valdas… please let me go.” They’re still out in the open air but it breathes heavy and stifling in her lungs. Reeking of dust and mothballs and other old, ancient things.

It’s the Musea Sanguis all over again. The onyx coffin that haunts her nightmares — the ones that belong solely to Nadya Al Jamil.

She meets Valdas’ eyes and the fathoms of them are too many to count.

“I wanted to help you, Nadya. I wanted this, the act before the sin, to be one that mattered — one that meant something.”

“W-What sin?”

“Forgive me.”

“Val—”

He’s holding her too close — Nadya can’t pull back far enough. But someone, probably Kamilah — definitely Kamilah, should be proud of her that she struggles every moment.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I wish that were the case.”

All the way up until his fingertips brush her temple and the world goes dark.

LINEHERE

In between waking and being awake there is a place where all is calm and well. Where she feels safe and warm and at peace. How often does she get that these days? Is it any wonder she clings to it desperately?

Long fingers brush through her hair. There is a warmth about them, even dark as they are — even though they haven’t seen the sunlight in so many years.

Lost, lonely — yet they comfort her even now.

Nadya opens her eyes and the first thing she sees is the shifting canopy of leaves overhead. No—not leaves. Dark green fabric, sheer and draped around the four posters at each corner of the bed and over her head like an old ritual dance. One that called upon forgotten things and spoke in relic tongues. She can taste the words of them; bright mint and heavy sage. All she need do is open her mouth.

“Ssh… not yet, my darling.”

The hand slips from her hair and Nadya keens at the loss. Turns towards where the touch might have come from like a child comforted in a storm.

The woman beside her has been wandering the dark for so long. Nadya can smell crisp groundwater on Her skin; salt on the back of Her tongue. The rich caramel of Her covered in the brightest white she’s ever seen.

“I’m scared,” Nadya tells Her. Is it possible to know a stranger all her life?

Perhaps it is. Just as it’s possible for the woman to laugh above her, face just out of sight, and for it to sound like every song she’s ever known or loved and also like nothing she’s ever had the luck to hear before.

“I know. But you must be brave.”

“I’m tired of being brave.”

“I was, too,” Nadya sighs as she feels an arm come around her shoulders; strong and more certain than she’ll ever be, “but that does not mean your trials are done. Be brave for yourself; and be brave for the both of us.”

She’s about to protest when the door opens on the other side of the room.

Nadya sits upright at the sound; fights through the waves of nausea and vertigo that wash over her and blind her with colorless spots of light behind her open eyes. She reaches out — waits for the stranger woman’s touch — but it doesn’t come.

When she can see everything right again Nadya doesn’t understand why she was waiting for someone there, anyway. The bed is barely rumpled. She’s alone.

“Ease yourself, Nadya. Your heart sounds like a racehorse.”

Oh, hell no.

She doesn’t have to see him to know the dark figure that watches her with the closed door at his back.

Valdas crosses the room in several long strides and holds something out to her. She knows the glint of her glasses in the otherwise dim light and snatches them from him; but tosses them onto the bedspread to be abandoned.

She doesn’t want to see him; the false sympathy in his eyes. He’s lied to Nadya enough already.

“Where am I?”

“Putting your glasses on might help.”

“I don’t want to look at your face.”

Valdas sighs. “Nadya…”

“Don’t you dare,” the rage that seethes from her clenched teeth surprises them both but gotta say — Nadya’s kind of a fan of it, “don’t. you. dare say my name like that. When you…”

She looks around again. Tries to keep dignified through wide eyes even though everything is a blur. Now it’s the principle of the thing. She can just make out the cut frame of the door beyond him.

Nadya spreads her fingers out on the coverlet like she’s searching. Can’t see Valdas’ face but she knows—she knows him maybe a little better than she knows herself right now. Just like she knows when he thinks he realizes what she’s doing and reaches out to grab them; to help her.

She clutches a blind hand desperately around the tassel of a pillow and whips it at his face as hard as she can.

“Asshole!”

The pillow does about as much damage to the millennia-old vampire as, well, a pillow would. But it gives her an opening and Nadya takes it.

Launches herself from the bed and hits the ground running; stumbling — her depth perception absolutely shot — but clear of him and with the black seam of freedom just barely in her sights.

It takes two steps for her to feel an ironclad weight clasping around her arm to pull her back.

“No—no nono!” Nadya screams; struggles against Valdas’ hold but the vampire is too strong. She might as well be trying to tear down a skyscraper with her bare hands.

He wraps both arms around her middle and knocks the breath from her lungs. But desperation — it’s a funny thing. Gives Nadya just that little kick of adrenaline she needs to keep fighting even if she chokes on every effort.

“Please stop this,” he growls in her ear, “the only one you’re hurting is yourself!”

“You’re insane. You’re a psychopath!” I’m a fool for trusting you.

“Nadya I can explain —”

“Don’t wanna hear it! Guh— lemme go!”

“I was the lesser of two evils I assure you!”

“Bull!” She pops her ankle and feels it collide between his legs with a fleeting satisfaction. Valdas crumples slightly, hisses at the pain that lances through him. Just enough for her to pry free and make another, equally mad dash for freedom.

The moment Nadya clutches at the door handle it jerks open; sends her flying backwards where she collides painfully with the rug.

“Grief, Valdas, she’s a fucking human child. How hard can it be?”

She almost doesn’t recognize Isseya at first — the proud woman of the abyss Nadya had last seen in the Council Chambers barely even a shadow flickered on her face.

In the time it takes the other vampire to assess the situation, though, Nadya is already scrambling ready to crawl her way out if that’s what it will take.

Valdas growls around his injury. “Iss’—”

“Yes yes, I’m not a fool.” Then Nadya screams, loud as she possibly can — tries to tear through the claw raking its way through her hair such a violent touch where was the kindness of the dark from before but it hurts too much too much and no matter how hard she hits Isseya’s grip doesn’t let up in the slightest.

She yanks Nadya up by her hair like a puppet on strings. “And I think you’ll find it a little bit harder to incapacitate me in such a way.”

“Let me go!”

“Need I even humor that with an answer?”

Valdas comes into view through the pain prickling at the edges of her vision. “Let her go, beloved.”

Behind her Isseya’s voice drips with irritation. “But —”

“Isseya. You know our orders.”

“Well I’ve harmed more than a few hairs on her head. Better to ask forgiveness, no?”

“No.”

Finally she’s released and the suddenness of it sends Nadya flying forward. Her hands and knees burning against thick wool fibers everything blurrier than blurry from the tears and she tries not to think too hard about the hairs she had felt torn from her head.

But, really, it’s her fault in the end — for thinking it was gonna be that easy.

When is anything ever that easy?

“Are you mostly unharmed?”

His legs come into her smudged view before Nadya can even blink. Valdas reaches out a hand in offering; she smacks it away instead. “Like I’d fall for that twice,” she mutters ragged; feels the last breaths of her screams for help itching in the back of her throat but knows, ultimately, they’re of no use. Standing alone is an effort but she manages it because she will not look weaker than she already is.

“Am I…” Nadya’s scoff is a bitter surprise in her mouth, “are you really doing this right now? Good vampire, bad vampire?”

“You think this is bad, just wait until the appetizer,” says Isseya — too close says Nadya’s entire nervous system and every hair on the back of her neck; has her jumping back but that puts her closer to Valdas and crap on a cracker they have her pinned.

“The appetizer being me, I’m guessing?”

To her surprise, the vampiress laughs. “No, I’d be looking forward to the evening far more if that were the case.”

The evening. It has Nadya running across the room to the large fuzzy shape of floor-to-ceiling curtains. There’s no way — absolutely no way it isn’t dawn yet.

And she’s kind of right. But this is one of those situations where that means about as much as being wrong.

The sherbet gradients of the setting sun bring a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. “It’s been… a whole day?” And they haven’t come for me? Not Adrian, not Kamilah… nobody?

Valdas, ever vigilant of the sun, is careful as he comes up beside her. Nadya’s glasses catch the light in his hand.

He almost sounds relieved when Nadya finally takes them, practically crushing the lenses against her face. “I confess I had hoped extending our evening would give them time to find you. But the years have made your friends soft and trusting.”

“What does that mean?

Isseya comes around to join them — awkward, all of them, too domestic for the pain she still feels at her failed escape — and keeps to the shadows too as she sits. She nods to the window. “Open your eyes, see for yourself.”

Nadya has to shade her eyes with her hand to see much of anything. Wherever they are there aren’t any buildings to block the path of light.

When the garden finally comes into view down below Nadya chokes on her own breath.

It takes a bit of searching but she finds the bridge and familiar pond just at the edge of her window’s view. It had been over a year now but suddenly it feels like no time has passed at all; like the Ball is still in full swing and she’s still Cinderella before the apocalypse.

At least she knows where she is now. Upstate New York; five hours’ ride by old-fashioned locomotive. She remembers the journey to Marcel’s castle and the Awakening Ball like it was yesterday.

#bloodbound #bloodbound fanfiction #kamilah x mc #playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #bloodbound mc #mc: nadya al jamil #oc: valdas #oc: isseya #rheya apostolous #fic: oblivion bound #oblv: bound by destiny ii #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

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whatadaze · 5 years

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shan writes another long ass post no one asked for:

so unless you’ve been living under a rock, you MIGHT have heard about skam nl + its recent decision to remove the geoblock on its youtube videos. if you have never watched skam nl or am on the fence about it pLS PLS PLS keep reading okay!? PLEASE

I’m not the best at articulating my thoughts and suck at writing but i’ll try my best so PLS read :-)

1. THE CAST

skamnl’s girl squad has a WOC playing noora (liv), a bisexual chris (janna), the least problematic vilde (engel), an AMAZING eva (isa), and even though their sana (imaan) could only be in the show for one season PLEASE do not let that deter you from watching. the actress left due to personal reasons and they left her character’s storyline open ended so if there ever was a chance for the actress to return, she could! i know there are many people who want a sana season with muslim representation but skam nl introduces another character, esra, who is also a muslim woc and FUCKING AMAZING. that aside, the cast members have great chemistry with one another. the way the characters interact + talk feel so real and genuine, largely because of the fact that the cast members are very close irl. one thing that i love about skamnl is the way they portray the friendships within the girl squad. i’d even go as far a saying that they are the best girl squad (even surpassing og) because they are so open and honest with one another + actually TALK to each other when problems occur. i don’t want to get too into specifics because you just need to watch the show but UGH i love how the show promotes POSITIVE girl/girl friendships without all that unnecessary catty drama we usually see in teen shows.

2. THE WRITING + PRODUCTION

so season 1 follows isa (eva) and i’m not going to lie, season 1 was always the season i didn’t care for as much but i was drawn to isa from the very first clip. she is just SO relatable and i would’ve loved to have watched a show with a main character like her when i was a teen. the dialogue feels so raw and real—the writing isn’t cringey or sound forced/straight from a script. and let me tell you, the PRODUCTION IS OFF THE CHARTS. skamnl has a unique way of telling its story through eVERYTHING. what the camera chooses to focus on, what colors are included in the scene, the song they choose for certain scenes, EVERYTHING has a purpose and i love when people analyze clips because it just shows how genius the skamnl team really is. they all work so hard on this show and it’s truly a shame that they don’t get the recognition they deserve.

3. THE SOUNDTRACK

i’m not sure how it is with other remakes, but the spotify playlist for skamnl gets updated after each episode and that will tell you how long an episode will be. it’s actually one of my favorite parts of the show—waiting for the next group of songs to drop, listening to them, and trying to figure out what might happen in the next clips. they have introduced so many songs that i listen to on the regular from all over the world. in season 1, they had a song by kpop group TWICE and as a korean person myself, i was s h o o k when that happened! if you love music and discovering new songs, you’d love what skamnl has to offer because their soundtrack is A++++++

4. THE CHEMISTRY

i touched on this in my point 1 but i just need to delve a bit more into it. so i mentioned that the cast members hang out outside of filming and they are genuinely all good friends. this makes their acting feel more genuine and real, their dialogue sounds more natural, and as a viewer, you really feel like a fly on the wall when you watch the show. it feels like you’re watching a real group of friends hanging out, going through typical problems you might be facing yourself, and for those of you who aren’t in high school, watching them really takes you back to your own high school days. i always get this warm, nostalgic feeling i just can’t really explain whenever i watch season 1.

right now, it’s liv’s season and i know that many people who watch skam+remakes don’t like william or noora/william or think it’s just a season where two het couples making out all the time but IT’S NOT. first of all, season 2 has so many important themes that people (especially teen girls) need to be aware of: sexual assault, eating disorders, relationships, and like season 1, touches on the importance of friendship. also, noah IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE LEAST PROBLEMATIC WILLIAM. you just have to watch to understand but I PROMISE YOU you will not be disappointed. i have talked to so many people who HATED william and now they hate themselves for loving noah so much. not to mention, zoe (liv) + monk’s (noah) chemistry is INSANE. these two dorks are friends irl and in order to prepare for their season, they spent a lot of time getting to know each other and building a relationship so that their interactions on screen feel more natural. the cast just goes above and beyond to deliver an authentic performance and it FUCKING SHOWS

5. THE FANDOM

this will be the last thing i touch on + may be the most controversial so pls don’t hate lol :-) one positive thing about skamnl being underrated is the small fan base. i’ve gotten pretty familiar with the regular group of people who frequently post in the tags and they are some of the sweetest and talented people i know. it may sound cheesy as hell, but the people in this fandom feel like a small family + i LOVE THAT. there’s no drama, there’s no hate, and we all just love discussing the show, promoting the show, and freaking out over clip drops, hiatuses, social media posts, and sharing theories. the fan base is one of the main reasons i enjoy watching skamnl so much, and i’d say it’s the least problematic as well. and that’s not me saying other remake fandoms are toxic or horrible, because for the most part, THEY AREN’T. i enjoy watching other remakes as well + am familiar with people in those fandoms as well but the environment seen in the skamnl fandom is just so.......different. i’ve developed genuine friendships with people from all over the world through this show and i think that’s just SO amazing. we’re small, but we’re a warm, inviting bunch and would love to have more and more people join us!

SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO NOW?

skamnl has removed its geoblock from all their youtube videos which is how they gather data on viewership and all that so it’s SUPER important that if you decide to watch this show, you do it through their official youtube channel. the clips are usually subbed within 30 minutes of being dropped by the amazing @skamdutch team, social media posts are translated within 15 minutes, BASICALLY waiting for translations has never been a problem okay? they are released super fast so don’t let the waiting deter you.

i personally love watching it the first time without subs and use that time to freak out and let all my excitement out of my system + once the subs are released, i watch it again and actually pay attention LOLOL

but anyway, i know a lot of people didn’t want to watch skamnl because it was geoblocked so if that was your excuse, you LITERALLY have no excuse now. and we don’t know how long this will be going on for but i have a feeling they will block it again soon so THE TIME IS NOW. the cast have spoken out about it, the production team have spoken about it, so go go go and watch it!!!

even if you can only watch one or two clips a day, do it! anything and everything helps at this point! this show deserves to have its season 3 and many many more in the future.

ok all of this probably didn’t make any sense because like i mentioned before i suck at writing and articulating my thoughts BUT if you actually read all of this then THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and please click HERE for a surprise.

byeeeeeeeeeee

love, shan

me after writing this post:

#skamnl #skam nl #skam dutch #watch #now #please #read #i'm sorry for cross tagging #but it's for the greater good #skam #druck #skam españa #skam spain #skames #wtfock #skam italia #skamfr #skam austin

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nightqueendany · 6 years

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Call Backs, Parallels, and Interpreting Scenes

(While this post is largely in part to discount J0nsa scenes, it also goes in depth into the meaning of scenes as well - also this is super fucking long)

1) The Infamous Forehead Kiss

“I should have told you about him. About the Knights of the Vale. I’m sorry.” “We need to trust each other. We can’t fight a war amongst ourselves. We have so many enemies now.” “Jon, a raven came from the Citadel. A white raven. Winter is here.” “Father always promised, didn’t he?”

“Look at me. You’re a Stark of Winterfell. You know our words.” “Winter is coming.” “You were born in the long summer. You’ve never known anything else. But now winter is truly coming. And in the winter, we must protect ourselves. Look after one another. Sansa is your sister.” “I don’t hate her. Not really.” “I don’t want to frighten you. But I won’t lie to you either. We’ve come to a dangerous place. We can’t fight a war amongst ourselves. Alright?”

There are definitely many echoes in the conversation between Jon and Sansa that call back to the scene between Ned and Arya from S1.

Ned warns Arya that they have come to a dangerous place (King’s Landing). Jon warns Sansa that they have many new enemies (including Cersei, in King’s Landing).

Ned tells Arya they need to protect each other, look after one another. Jon tells Sansa they need to trust each other.

Ned tells Arya they can’t fight a war amongst themselves...and of course, Jon repeats this to Sansa verbatim.

And lastly, Ned warns/reminds Arya that their words Winter is Coming isn’t just a saying, but that it will actually happen. And it’s important that especially during Winter, the Starks band together. The last part of the Jon and Sansa scene, Sansa tells Jon of the raven from the Citadel declaring Winter has finally come.

Bonus: Ned kisses Arya’s forehead. Jon kisses Sansa’s forehead.

AND as if the Ned Stark feels weren’t enough in the 6x10 scene with the call backs to S1, Jon smiles at Sansa’s words, thinking of Ned. Father always promised, didn’t he?

Throughout the series, the Starks have been scattered and slowly killed off. But S6 is about reconciling that and bringing the Starks back to the place they started, home to Winterfell. It’s now Winter, the last two remaining Stark children (that they know of) are home. Ned would want them to stay close, have each other’s backs, and trust each other. Though he’s not in the season, Ned’s memory is all over the place. Jon swinging the sword himself hanging the mutineers who killed him. Jon telling Sansa Ned’s ghost would come back and murder him if he didn’t watch over her - “look after one another.” Jon changing his hair to the style of Ned’s, Sansa making him a cloak like Ned’s. Eddard Stark’s memory is everywhere throughout S6.

In the battlements scene, we’re most definitely meant to think back to Ned Stark and I think the purpose of this is pretty obvious: family. The importance Starks place on family, protecting family, and the fact that Jon and Sansa are *seemingly* the last of their family and that they have to stick together.

2) The King In The North

In a direct parallel and callback to the Season 1 scene, Jon is named King in the North in 6x10.

In the Robb scene, three vassal lords - Galbart Glover, Theon Greyjoy, and GreatJon Umber - proclaim him the King in the North with the rest of those in attendance following suit. In the Jon scene, also three vassal lords - Lyanna Mormont, Wyman Manderly, and Robett Glover - proclaim him their King with the rest of hall following suit.

Just as Rob stands and looks back towards his mother, Jon stands and looks down at Sansa.

Background information is also similar in these two scenes: Robb is named King after Ned was killed in the previous episode. Jon is named King after Rickon was killed in the previous episode.

When Jon is named KITN, instead of Ned’s memory haunting the scene, it’s Robb’s. Manderly says Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding - the event which brought Robb down. Just as three lords proclaimed Robb King, three lords proclaimed Jon King. Jon and Robb are even dressed very similarly with their leather armor, gorgets, and typical fur cloaks.

However, there’s something interesting that distinguish the two scenes:

Whereas Robb is named King before he accomplishes his goal of getting Ned back and getting revenge on the Lannisters, Jon is named King after having accomplished his goal in taking back Winterfell.

In the two scenes at the top of this post with Jon/Sansa and Ned/Arya, Jon obviously was evoking Ned and Sansa evoked Arya, but in the KITN scenes, rolls are changed. Jon evokes Robb whereas Sansa is a stand-in for Catelyn because, as we saw in the scene right before Jon is named King, Jon’s real mother Lyanna, is long passed.

In both KITN scenes, Catelyn/Sansa are wary and apprehensive but for much different reasons. Catelyn has just lost her husband to the Lannisters and now her son is going up against them. Catelyn is afraid for Robb.

Sansa, however, has just been passed up as Ned Stark’s only remaining trueborn child to be the ruling monarch of the North in favor of her bastard brother Jon Snow, which is what she think’s about when she looks to Baelish during that scene - Remember earlier, Baelish told her she was the last best chance to lead the North against the coming storm. “Who should the North rally behind? A motherless bastard born in the south? Or the trueborn daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark born here at Winterfell?”

As Lyanna Mormont is speaking about knowing no King but the King in the North whose name is Stark we can see Sansa’s expression change drastically:

The first shot happens as Lyanna says whose name is Stark and the second shot happens as Lyanna adds I don’t care if he’s a bastard...when Sansa realizes it’s Jon who will be named King and not her.

Also notice the way this is shot. As Lyanna Mormont is talking, we almost never see Jon’s face. The camera is either on Sansa or Lyanna, meaning Sansa’s reaction is what we’re meant to be paying attention to. Jon is out of focus. The focus is on Sansa and her disappointment/hurt.

(I almost feel like Sansa is looking around in this gif thinking these bitches for naming Jon King and not her as Queen.)

But think about it. She is Ned Stark’s last trueborn child that they know of and she is passed up in favor of her bastard brother. It is an insult to her and instead of taking her side as he did when they argued over who would take the Lord’s chamber, Jon accepts his new position as King.

This is almost exactly the opposite of what happens during the Kingsmoot on Pyke. When the Lords of the Iron Islands wanted to name Theon King because he was Balon’s last trueborn son, Theon informs them that Yara is their rightful queen. Jon does not do this despite his book counterpart always insisting to Stannis that Winterfell belongs to his sister Sansa.

Sansa only smiles once Jon looks down at her and then when they break eye contact, her smile falls again.

Though the KITN scene in S6 is an obvious callback to the Robb scene in S1, it also sets us up for conflict that Jon and Sansa will have in S7 (and that Sansa will have with Arya, after Jon leaves).

3) The Hand Grab

In 6x04, Jon and Sansa are reunited - the first time either of them has been around immediate family since Season 1 - and after some small talk about food and ale, lamenting leaving Winterfell, and Jon conveniently telling Sansa he will watch over her lest Ned’s ghost come back and murder him, they get into an argument about taking back Winterfell from the Boltons. The first argument ends with Sansa essentially giving Jon an ultimatum: help me get Winterfell back, or I put myself at risk and do it alone. (Which again, as noted, Jon has already sworn to protect her, so even though he doesn’t agree to help Sansa get Winterfell back, she would basically be forcing him to fight for her in order to keep her safe).

The next scene the two are in together in 6x04 is when Jon receives the letter from Ramsay stating he has Rickon prisoner and that he will march North and kill all the wildlings Jon let through the wall if he doesn’t hand Sansa over to him. When Jon is on the fence about what to do, talking numbers with Tormund, debating the truth in Ramsay’s words that he really has Rickon, Sansa grabs Jon’s hand and implores him fight so they can save both Winterfell and Rickon. Sansa is trying to pull Jon to her side so she pulls his hand across the table toward her.

(And for anyone wondering, it in fact, isn’t Sansa that’s the reason Jon agrees to go up against Ramsay, it’s Rickon, according to the commentary on this episode by D&D on Inside the Episode)

In the 7x06 scene, the atmosphere is incredibly different from the one with Jon and Sansa. Instead of sitting at a table full of people, Jon and Dany are alone in his cabin on the ship, they’re not sitting across from each other but right next to each other - Dany is even, as you can see above, sitting on Jon’s bed. It’s much more intimate and private.

Also note, that while with both scenes, there are closeups of the hands (Jon/Sansa and Jon/Dany), there’s more individual shots of Jon and Dany’s hands. They’re first shown when Jon reaches for Dany to comfort her about Viserion dying and apologizing, next when Dany reaches for Jon after he calls her my Queen, when Jon tugs Dany’s hand back when she tries to pull away, and lastly when Jon let’s go of Dany’s hand and she tells him to get some rest and leaves (so 4 different shots total, J&D holding hands 2 different times).

The circumstances that lead to Jon and Daenerys holding hands is very different from Jon and Sansa as well. Whereas Sansa grabs Jon’s hand in an effort to convince him of something, Jon grabs Dany’s hand as a way to offer comfort and express his condolences for her loss. And when Dany reaches for Jon’s hand, it’s after she has pledged to fight for him and after he has named her his Queen.

With the Jon/Sansa scene, Sansa wants something from Jon and is able to use the knowledge of Rickon being held captive in order to get it: Jon agreeing to battle Ramsay for Winterfell. But with the Jon/Dany scene, both of them offer up what they have to each other willingly and freely without being asked for it again, without needing convincing, without there being an ulterior motive. They do it because they want to, not because they have to.

4) Dimly Lit Disagreements

Like the two Hand Grab scenes above, the Jon/Sansa dimly lit disagreement is incredibly different than the one between Jon and Dany.

Jon and Sansa have their argument in a military encampment the night before the Battle of the Bastards. Jon has just been speaking with his advisors - Davos and Tormund - while Sansa quietly listened in the background. After he’s advised to get some rest so he can be sharp the next day, Sansa stays behind and points out to Jon that he never once asked for her advice though she is the one who knows Ramsay best out of all Jon’s advisors.

Though she knows her brother is going into battle the very next day and despite Davos’ advice that Jon get some rest, Sansa pesters Jon about seeking her input - while at the same time refusing to tell him about the Knights of the Vale the night before the battle. She wants Jon to trust in her more than he does his other advisors but she refuses to do the one thing that will gain his trust - tell him that more help is coming (and for anyone saying well Sansa didn’t know for sure if Baelish would come with the Knights of the Vale - yes she did. Baelish told her he would do anything in his power for her in their meeting in Mole’s Town. She knew he would come) - (Also an interesting side note, Dan Weiss says in the 6x05 commentary that if Sansa really trust in Jon, she tell him about Baelish, the Knights of the Vale, etc. And in her not telling her brother those things, she’s not “acting 100% as a Stark”...just thought that was interesting - she doesn’t withhold the Baelish information because she’s afraid Jon won’t like the situation, she withholds the information because she’s not acting as a Stark, doesn’t trust her brother who died because of how damn honorable he is - which she knows - and Baelish still has a hold on her, an influence over her).

Along with berating him about not consulting with her and for attacking when they don’t have enough men (though again, she knows they will), Sansa also lands the biggest blow to Jon that she possibly could - she tells him there is no hope of them ever saving Rickon.

I don’t care what anyone says about Sansa’s motives for why she says this, I don’t care about people saying her telling Jon this somehow absolves her of using Rickon’s safety as an excuse to get Jon to go to war. Her telling Jon they will never get Rickon back before he goes into battle, the night when he should be getting a good night’s sleep and not worrying excessively about things he cannot change, is the most tactless thing I think Sansa has ever done.

In the 6x04 Inside the Episode Dan Weiss specifically says that the only reason Jon finally decides to help Sansa take back Winterfell is because of Rickon. So for his one reason to go to war being crushed the night before he goes to war - one can only imagine what Jon feels at that point. Sansa essentially tells him yeah Rickon’s already dead and then she lets him know that if he fails, she’ll kill herself, so if by some chance he loses the battle yet survives, Jon will have no more family left.

It’s no wonder that after his little (not really) pep-talk from Sansa that Jon goes to Melisandre and demands she not bring him back from the dead should he be killed in battle. Sansa has just told him he would have no family left - her or Rickon - so what would be the point?

NOW

One thing about the Jon/Sansa scene that I find endlessly fascinating is the words it ends on. Go back and rewatch the scene if you can’t immediately remember their parting words because I actually love them so much.

I won’t ever let him touch you again. I’ll protect you. I promise.

No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone.

And WHAT, I ask you, is the name of the episode that directly precedes this one? That’s right. 6x08 is titled NO ONE.

Jon uses the same words Ned used with him when he swore they’d speak about Jon’s mother next time they met and the promise Lyanna made Ned swear to her before she died. So of course we’re meant to think of Lyanna and we find out in the episode directly after this one, that she is, in fact Jon’s mother.

Sansa on the other hand, uses the phrase no one. She doesn’t say you can’t protect me, she doesn’t say I can’t be protected. She says no one which is, of course, a reference to Arya who has become No One.

And thinking in retrospect, Arya is the one who protects Sansa, not Jon. Jon, as Sansa says, didn’t win the battle of the Bastards. She did, so that was Sansa protecting herself. And then at the beginning of S7, Jon heads off for Dragonstone leaving her alone. When Baelish gets up to his tricks and schemes with pitting Sansa and Arya against each other, Arya is the one to execute Baelish, not one of Sansa’s household guards or knights.

So this conversation between them, though of course is just another argument between the two siblings, also hints to the audience at both of their families whose fates they don’t know about - Jon with Lyanna and Sansa with Arya.

Jon and Daenerys’ cave “argument” is actually anything but. They don’t use harsh words, they don’t raise their voices with one another, they don’t point out each other flaws, they don’t even raise any issues with believing in each other. Instead Jon and Dany are probably the softest we’ve seen them in a really long time.

When Jon and Dany first meet in the episode prior to this, and Tyrion tells Jon It takes no time to bend the knee, Jon retorts I don’t know you. In 6x03 his reasoning for not submitting to Dany’s rule is personal. He continually inserts himself in the argument - I don’t know you, my own father fought to overthrow the Mad King, The Lords of the North put their trust in me to lead them and I will do so as well as I can.

However, when they are in the cave together alone, Jon takes himself out of it saying, My people won’t accept a southern ruler, not after everything they’ve suffered. He doesn’t say he won’t accept a southern ruler which Daenerys picks up on when she replies, The will if their King does. They chose you to lead them. They chose you to protect them. Isn’t their survival more important than your pride?

Which of course, those being the exact same words Jon spoke to Mance when Mance refused to kneel to Stannis, shakes Jon and leaves him speechless. With the Free Folk, Jon saw that Mance’s words - They followed me because they respected me, because they believed in me. The moment I kneel for a southern king, that’s all gone - aren’t really true. At least in the sense that the Free Folk couldn’t believe in anyone but Mance....because once Jon stood up for them, they then believed in him.

Some people might say Dany saying these words to Jon foolish of her, she doesn’t understand the situation, it’s completely different from when Jon said this to Mance, etc. etc. But...it’s really not.

The Free Folk don’t kneel for anyone and they didn’t choose another King after Mance died. But again, they put their trust in Jon when he 1) led them to safety 2) died because of it and 3) fought with them in the battle of the bastards. The Free Folk have no reason not to trust Jon now and though he says he’s not their King, they listen to him and do as he asks. And if the Free Folk can change - these stubborn, hardheaded people who refer to all those south of the Wall as southerners and kneelers - then certainly, the stubborn hardheaded Northern Lords can change too.

ALSO Tormund even uses this phrase almost verbatim too when speaking to Jon about Mance in 7x06. Jon tells Tormund that Dany will only fight with them if he bends the knee and Tormudn replies, “Mance Rayder was a great man, a proud man. The King Beyond the Wall who never bent the knee. How many of his people died for his pride?”

So for those going on about, It’s not Jon’s pride, he really knows his people and knows that he’s the only one keeping the peace and keeping them together, they’d never accept Dany, blah blah blah. Well, no. That’s not correct. If the Free Folk can change and accept Jon as a leader and if the Lords of the North can accept the Free Folk as allies even though they have been enemies for thousands of years, then the Northern Lords can accept a Targaryen as their Queen...especially when it was less than a a quarter of a century ago that they were under Targaryen rule anyway. The Northern Lords lived for three hundred years with a Targaryen as their monarch. It’s not that big of an ask that they do so again, especially when they’re facing what they’re facing and absolutely can’t do so alone without any assistance.

In the cave scene, Daenerys isn’t even asking for Jon’s fighting men - she doesn’t need them anyway. As Tyrion says in this same episode, Daenerys has the largest armies. She doesn’t need more. What she needs from Jon is his loyalty. He gives her that, she will give him her armies to help fight his war, not the other way around.

I think it’s definitely this conversation and the subsequent one Jon has with Tormund that makes him see that Northern Independence isn’t and has never been his cause and what really matters is saving his people and making sure they are in good hands - Daenerys’ hands. And once the Northern Lords see what Daenerys brings to the table and that her purpose is to save the North, not conquer it, they’ll respect her, because in the North, actions most definitely speak louder than words and Daenerys is all about taking action.

5) Jon and Sharing Personal Information

One of the things I keep seeing floating around as a criticism against Jonerys is about the way Jon speaks to people and what information he shares with them. Namely, that he talks candidly with and shares with everyone except Dany whom he “supposedly” is in love with - from Sansa, his sister, to Beric, a man he’s never met before. So without further adieu, let’s dive in:

Jon and Sansa.

Jon and Sansa’s communication/conversations can be neatly packed into the following categories: food, family, forgiveness, Sansa questioning Jon’s decisions, ans Sansa wondering why Jon doesn’t trust her. Most of their conversations are started by Sansa: This is good soup, remember the pies Old Nan used to make, I spent a lot of time thinking about what an ass I was to you, can you forgive me, where will you go, so he’s your most trusted advisor, so you’ve drawn up your battle plans...etc.

Aside from an off camera moment where Jon has obviously told Sansa what happened to him - dying and being brought back by Melisandre - Jon doesn’t divulge much to Sansa. In fact, the most he really speaks to her about his past and what he’s been through is when they’re fighting in the scene above. Sansa asks him to fight and Jon tells her that he’s tired of fighting and then gives off a list of people he’s killed. The reminisce for a tiny bit - all prompted by Sansa - and then they argue about Winterfell - again prompted by Sansa - and then the rest of their time together is likewise spent arguing. And none of their arguments really come to any sort of conclusion or reconciliation or resolution. The same things they argue about in Season 6, they argue about in Season 7. They are constantly at odds and don’t entirely trust in each other’s opinions all the way up through 7x07 when Jon does not consult Sansa about bending the knee - to which she’s both surprised and irritated about. Their sibling rivalry never really ends.

Next up: Jon and Beric

“Your wildling friend told me the Red Woman brought you back. Thoros has brought me back six times. We both serve the same Lord.” “I serve the North.” “The North didn’t raise you from the dead.” “The Lord of Light never spoke to me. I don’t know anything about him. I don’t know what he wants from me.” “He wants you alive.” “Why?” “I don’t know.” “That’s all anyone can tell me: I don’t know?”

Let it be noted: Jon and Beric do not have a heart to heart. Jon does not randomly feel the need to confide in someone about his death and resurrection. He does not pry for information from Beric about Ned or R’hllor. Beric is the one to strike up conversation with Jon, tell him about Ned, and tell Jon he already knows that Jon was brought back to life because Tormund told Beric. It’s not as if Jon can deny it to someone who has also been brought back from the dead. And based on Jon’s clipped and snarky responses to Beric - That’s all anyone can tell me, I don’t know - it would seem this is not a topic Jon really enjoys talking to Beric about anyway. But because Tormund outed him and there’s really no where to escape when they’re on the same mission together, Jon is forced to chat with him.

Last: Jon and Dany

Like Jon and Sansa, Jon and Dany have several of their own private moments. On the steps in 7x03, in the cave in 7x04, on the cliffs in 7x05, on the boat in 7x06, and in the Dragonpit in 7x07. Yet three of the five “private moments” Jon and Dany share, Jon is the instigator. On the steps, he seeks her out and despite being vague, he does disclose something deeply personal - “We all enjoy what we’re good at.” “I don’t.” In 7x04, he takes her into the caves to tell her about the Night King and encourage her that they fight together.” And in 7x05 Jon is waiting for Daenerys to return from battle and he prompts her to tell him how it went - even though this information has no bearing on their dragonglass arrangement.

With everyone else Jon almost always has to be prompted for conversation but with Daenerys, he seeks her out multiple times. No he doesn’t tell her about his resurrection when she asks, but then again, it wasn’t a need to know situation like with Sansa, and she didn’t share his experience and already know about it like with Beric. And by the end of 7x06, it’s moot anyway because she can clearly see his scars.

Jon doesn’t like sharing personal information with anyone. Even with Ygritte, he didn’t share much about himself. But with Daenerys, he does seek her out whereas with others, he doesn’t. That’s the difference.

Lasty...

6) Jon and Gifts

The Wolf Bit

“New dress?” “I made it myself. Do you like it?” “I like the wolf bit.” “Good. Because I made this for you. I made it like the one father used to wear. As near as I can remember.”

I have to say, out of all the Jon/Sansa interactions, I think I find this one 1) the most endearing and pure and 2) the most potential “ick” factor when considering J0nsas love this moment. Why?

Because Sansa makes Jon a cloak like their father’s. If there was anything romantic happening between them, this would have been a perfect scene for Sansa to give Jon a gift to show her affection for him - yet the way it’s written, it’s tainted by the reminder that they are siblings, share the same father, and now Sansa wants Jon to dress like their father. It just doesn’t spell romance. Or even future romance for that matter.

The writers could have written the scene something like Hey Jon, I noticed your cloak had some tears in it, so I made you a new one or something that would make Sansa’s gesture equally thoughtful but less...icky.

ALSO...Jon’s amazement at the gift is incredibly realistic considering they are at Castle Black - where supplies of everything are limited, and assuming Sansa didn’t make off with a bag of money when she left Ramsay’s so had no way to buy new fabric and sewing supplies. Where on earth did she even get fabric to make herself a whole new dress and also to make Jon a cloak?? She’s got to be pretty flipping resourceful in order to pull that off. It’s impressive that she can make herself new clothes when she’s living under such conditions with such limited supplies. And Jon is rightfully impressed with her talent and thankful for her gift.

Throughout season 6, Jon and Sansa are returning to their roots, becoming more Stark-like than they’ve ever been before really. Jon was always a man of the Night’s Watch and Sansa has been many things throughout the series. But with Sansa’s new dress with her House sigil on it and with her making Jon a cloak like their fathers, they are both showing their true colors and what really matters, despite what might get in the way: being a Stark and being family.

Dragonglass

For their first ever private meeting sans advisors or guards, Jon and Dany’s conversation on the steps actually is fairly successful. Yes, they do still disagree about the governing of the North. However, instead of continuing to hinder their relationship, it actually seems to be what is keeping them moving forward. If Jon just gave Dany everything she wanted, his fighting me, his loyalty, the North, they wouldn’t really have anything to continue talking about.

Likewise if Dany gave Jon everything he was asking for, they wouldn’t have anything to continue talking about. By holding back, the question of will the won’t they continues to be thread through their subsequent episodes and in their relationship.

By Dany giving Jon the dragonglass, it keeps him on the island but they still are in somewhat conflict when it comes to being the “rightful ruler”. Dany’s gift and assistance with this matter also allows Jon to see that Daenerys isn’t a person beyond reason. She does genuinely want to help him even if she may not entirely believe him. And Jon can see that and appreciate that. Aside from an ally, he really did need weapons for his people and Dany gave him that.

#got meta #jonerys meta #ANTI JONSA #sibling squabbles between jon and sansa #scenes explained #game of thrones #got parallels #callback

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sarahmcmenomy · 5 years

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Tarot Reflections Playlist

I’ve been working on this for longer than I should probably admit, but I finally finished my complete Tarot Playlist! I’ve chosen one song for each card of the 78-card RWS Tarot deck. In the spirit of the little white book, I have excerpted a line or two from each song to justify its association with its chosen card. Each suit has its own musical themes, and some of the songs were chosen to invoke the elemental association of the suit. The Court Cards get their own playlist because it can double as an astrological playlist. There are also a few sillier songs picked primarily for humor value (though hopefully still in keeping with the theme of the song). What follows is a complete index, so you can easily listen to whichever parts of the playlist you want to or browse the whole thing.

Entire Playlist

Major Arcana

Wands

Cups

Swords

Pentacles

Court Cards

Major Arcana

0. The Fool: “The Wanderer” by U2, The Edge, and Johnny Cash

“I went out there in search of experience, to taste and to touch and to feel as much as a man can before he repents.”

1. The Magician: “I am the Mercury” by Jimmie Spheeris

“For I am the mercury, the light of the morning, looking for shelter in this thunder and this rain. And you, like some windmill, weave light where it's storming, and love, like a potion for the hunger and the pain. Let it rain...”

2. The High Priestess: “Witch” by The Bird and the Bee

“Yes, I am a carnival, a house of mirrors... and I will con you. And all my tricks and all my magic will keep you dizzy with desire...”

3. The Empress: “Suddenly I See” by KT Tunstall

“Her face is a map of the world, is a map of the world... You can see she's a beautiful girl, she's a beautiful girl... And everything around her is a silver pool of light; The people who surround her feel the benefit of it... It makes you calm.”

4. The Emperor: “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay

“I used to rule the world; seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning, I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own. I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes, listen as the crowd would sing... Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!“

5. The Hierophant: “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers

“He said, ‘Son, I've made a life out of readin’ people's faces, knowin’ what the cards were by the way they held their eyes. So if you don't mind me sayin’, I can see you’re out of aces. For a taste of your whiskey, I’ll give you some advice.’”

6. The Lovers: “Dance Me to the End of Love” by Leonard Cohen

“Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on; dance me very tenderly and dance me very long. We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above... dance me to the end of love.”

7. The Chariot: “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen

“I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky! Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity. I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva, I'm gonna go, go, go! There's no stopping me!”

8. Strength: “Roar” by Katy Perry

“I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire, 'cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar, louder, louder than a lion, 'cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar!”

9. The Hermit: “Building a Mystery” by Sarah McLachlan

“You live in a church where you sleep with voodoo dolls, and you won't give up the search for the ghosts in the halls... You wear sandals in the snow, and a smile that won't wash away. Can you look out the window without your shadow getting in the way?”

10. The Wheel of Fortune: “Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)” by the Byrds

“To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time to every purpose, under heaven...”

11. Justice: “Botched Execution” by Shovels and Rope

“I gotta find a friend, someone to tell I didn't do it, but my picture's in the paper and there's no way that I can prove it... and the body's in the closet 'cause I never got to move it... Now the neighbor's kids are talking sayin' everybody knew it... All my little seeds have grown... Sooner, later, come back home...”

12. The Hanged Man: “Philosophy” by Ben Folds Five

“Won't you look up at the skyline, at the mortar, block, and glass, and check out the reflections in my eyes. See they always used to be there, even when this all was grass, and I sang and danced about a high-rise. And you were laughing at my helmet hat... Laughing at my torch...”

13. Death: “End of the Line” by The Traveling Wilburys

“Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove. Well it's all right, if you got someone to love. Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine. Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line.”

14. Temperance: “Under Pressure” by Queen

“Turned away from it all like a blind man. Sat on a fence, but it don't work. Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn... Why, why, why? Love, love, love, love, love... Insanity laughs, under pressure we're breaking.”

15. The Devil: “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones

“Just as every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners saints, as heads is tails... Just call me Lucifer, 'cause I'm in need of some restraint.”

16. The Tower: “The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning” by the Smashing Pumpkins

“The sewers belch me up; the heavens spit me out. From Ether's tragic I am born again, and now I'm with you now, inside your world of wow, to move in desires made of deadly pretense, ‘til the end times begin.”

17. The Star: “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree

“Listen as your day unfolds, challenge what the future holds. Try and keep your head up to the sky.”

18. The Moon: “Hope Eyrie” by Leslie Fish

“But we who feel the weight of the wheel, when winter falls over our world, can hope for tomorrow and raise our eyes to a silver moon in the open skies and a single flag unfurled. For the Eagle has landed; tell your children when. Time won't drive us down to dust again.”

19. The Sun: “Sunshine of Your Love” by Cream

“I'm with you my love, the light's shining through on you. Yes, I'm with you my love, it's the morning and just we two. I'll stay with you darling now, I'll stay with you till my seas are dried up... I've been waiting so long, to be where I'm going, in the sunshine of your love.”

20. Judgement: “Ring the Bells” by James

“Ring, ring the bells! Wake the town! Everyone is sleeping. Shout at the crowd! Wake them up! This anger's deeper than sleep! Got to keep awake to what is happening, I can't see a thing through my ambition, I no longer feel my God is watching over me. Got to tell the world we've all been dreaming, this is not the end, a new beginning... I no longer feel my God is watching over me.”

21. The World: “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong

“The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky, are also on the faces of people going by. I see friends shaking hands, saying, ‘how do you do.’ They're really saying, ‘I love you.’ I hear babies crying, I watch them grow... they'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.”

Wands

1. The Ace of Wands: “Spark” by the Bird and the Bee

“Tell me a tale, something with fire, to break from the sorrows. To break through the dirt, piles of earth, to see where the sun goes... What if I stopped just for a while to see if I'm closer? Still half the night, just for a while to see where the sun goes, oh, oh, oh...”

2. The Two of Wands: "First We Take Manhattan” by Leonard Cohen

“I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark on my skin. I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons... First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.”

3. The Three of Wands: “Billionaire” by Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars

“Oh every time I close my eyes... I see my name in shining lights... Yeah, a different city every night, oh right, I swear, the world better prepare for when I'm a billionaire.”

4. The Four of Wands: “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles

“Say my name, sun shines through the rain... A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain. I don't want to lose this feeling, oh... Close your eyes, give me your hand. Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?“

5. The Five of Wands: “The Ultimate Showdown” by Lemon Demon

“This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny: good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see... and only one will survive: I wonder who it will be? This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.”

6. The Six of Wands: “We are the Champions” by Queen

“We are the champions, my friends, and we'll keep on fighting 'til the end! We are the champions! We are the champions! No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world!”

7. The Seven of Wands: “Uprising” by Muse

“Rise up and take the power back. It's time that the fat cats had a heart attack, you know that their time is coming to an end. We have to unify and watch our flag ascend.”

8. The Eight of Wands: “Fast as you Can” by Fiona Apple

“I let the beast in and then I even tried forgiving him, but it's too soon. So I'll fight again, again, again, again, again and for a little while more, I'll soar the uneven wind, complain and blame the sterile land.”

9. The Nine of Wands: “Conquest of Spaces” by Woodkid

“I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces expanding between you and me... Come with the night, the science of fighting, the forces of gravity...”

10. The Ten of Wands: “Running up that Hill” by Kate Bush

“And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get him to swap our places, be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building...”

Cups

1. The Ace of Cups: “Quiet” by Milck

“But no one knows me, no one ever will, if I don't say something, if I just lie still. Would I be that monster, scare them all away, if I let them hear what I have to say? I can't keep quiet.”

2. The Two of Cups: “Bus Stop” by The Hollies

“Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop. Sometimes she'd shop, and she would show me what she'd bought. Other people stared as if we were both quite insane... Someday my name and hers are going to be the same.”

3. The Three of Cups: “The Cult of Dionysus” by The Orion Experience

“I'm feeling devious, you're looking glamorous... let's get mischievous... and polyamorous. Wine and women and wonderful vices... Welcome to the cult of Dionysus!”

4. The Four of Cups: “High by the Beach” by Lana del Rey

“I don't wanna do this anymore, it's so surreal. I can't survive if this is all that's real... All I wanna do is get high by the beach, get high by the beach, get high...”

5. The Five of Cups: “What Have I Done to Deserve This?” by The Pet Shop Boys

“I bought you drinks, I brought you flowers. I read you books and talked for hours... Every day, so many drinks, such pretty flowers. So tell me, what have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?”

6. The Six of Cups: “In My Life” by The Beatles

“There are places I'll remember, all my life, though some have changed... Some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain...”

7. The Seven of Cups: “Which Will” by Nick Drake

“Which do you dance for? Which makes you shine? Which will you choose now, if you won't choose mine?”

8. The Eight of Cups: “Go West” by The Pet Shop Boys

“(Go West) Life is peaceful there, (go West!) in the open air, (go West!) where the skies are blue... (go West!) This is what we're gonna do.”

9. The Nine of Cups: “No Surprises” by Radiohead

“Such a pretty house... and such a pretty garden... No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, please...”

10. The Ten of Cups: “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog

“Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection... the lovers, the dreamers and me.”

Swords

1. The Ace of Swords: “One” by U2

“You say love is a temple, love is a higher law... Love is a temple, love is a higher law. You ask me of me to enter, but then you make me crawl, and I can't keep holding on to what you got, 'cause all you got is hurt.”

2. The Two of Swords: “I Can’t Decide” by The Scissor Sisters

“I can't decide whether you should live or die... Oh, you'll probably go to heaven; please don't hang your head and cry...”

3. The Three of Swords: “The Killing Type” by Amanda Palmer

"I would kill to make you feel. I don't mean kill someone for real. I couldn't do that, it is wrong... But I can say it in a song.”

4. The Four of Swords: “Take it Easy” by The Eagles

“Take it easy, take it easy. Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can, don't even try to understand, just find a place make your stand. Take it easy.”

5. The Five of Swords: “Young Men Dead” by the Black Angels

“Run for the hills, pick up your feet and let's go. We did our jobs, pick up speed now, let’s move. The trees can't grow without the sun in their eyes, and we can't live if we're too afraid to die.”

6. The Six of Swords: “I Will Survive” by Cake

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified. I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you'd done me wrong. I grew strong; I learned how to get along.”

7. The Seven of Swords: “Sabotage” by The Beastie Boys

“I can't stand it, I know you planned it! I'mma set it straight, this Watergate. I can't stand rockin' when I'm in here, 'cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear. So while you sit back and wonder why I got this fuckin' thorn in my side, oh my god, it's a mirage! I'm tellin' y'all, it's sabotage.”

8. The Eight of Swords: “Whipping Post” by the Allman Brothers Band

“Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel, like I been tied to the whippin' post, tied to the whippin' post, tied to the whippin' post. Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'.”

9. The Nine of Swords: “Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums” by A Perfect Circle

“Don't fret, precious, I'm here. Step away from the window, and go back to sleep... safe from pain, and truth, and choice... and other poison devils. See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. Count lies like sheep, like sheep, like sheep, like sheep, like sheep, like sheep...”

10. The Ten of Swords: “Hurt” by Johnny Cash

“I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything. What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end.”

Pentacles

1. The Ace of Pentacles: “Dime” by Cake

“I'm a dime, I'm fine, and I shine. I'm freshly minted. I am determined not to be dented by a car or by a plane or anything not yet invented...”

2. The Two of Pentacles: “Down to Earth” by Peter Gabriel

“Did you think that your feet had been bound by what gravity brings to the ground? Did you feel you were tricked by the future you picked? Well, come on down. All these rules don't apply when you're high in the sky, so come on down, come on down.”

3. The Three of Pentacles: “With a Little Help from My Friends” by Joe Cocker

“What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, I will try not to sing out of key.”

4. The Four of Pentacles: “This is the Life” by “Weird Al” Yankovic

“They say that money corrupts you, but I can't really tell... I got the whole world at my feet, and I think it's pretty swell.”

5. The Five of Pentacles: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones

“No, you can't always get what you want... You can't always get what you want... You can't always get what you want... But if you try sometimes, you find, you get what you need.”

6. The Six of Pentacles: “Rent” by The Pet Shop Boys

“We never ever argue, we never calculate the currency we've spent... I love you, you pay my rent “

7. The Seven of Pentacles: “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac

“I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around. And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills ‘til the landslide brought me down.”

8. The Eight of Pentacles: “The Weaver” by Steeleye Span

“The loom goes click and the loom goes clack; the shuttle flies forward and then flies back. The weaver's so bent that he's like to crack... such a wearisome trade is the weaver.”

9. The Nine of Pentacles: “My Way” by Frank Sinatra

“I've loved, I've laughed and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing. And now, as tears subside, I find it all, all so amusing... To think I did all that, and may I say, not in a shy way... oh no, no, not me. I did it my way.”

10. The Ten of Pentacles: “Monument” by Röyskopp and Robyn

“This will be my monument. This will be a beacon when I'm gone, gone, gone... When I'm gone, gone, gone... When I'm gone... So that when that moment comes, I can say I did it all with love, love, love... All with love, love, love... All with love.”

Court Cards

Wands

1. The Page of Wands: “The Arsonist’s Lullaby” by Hozier

“All you have is your fire, and the place you need to reach. Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep 'em on a leash.”

2. The Knight of Wands (Sagittarius, the Archer): “Portrait of the Knight of Wands” by Suzanne Vega

“His mood was melancholy, his attitude severe. His inner burden weighed upon him mightily.”

3. The Queen of Wands (Aries, the Ram): “The Queen of Hollywood” by the Corrs

“She's never gonna be like the one before. She read it in her stars that there's something more. No matter what it takes, no matter how she breaks...”

4. The King of Wands (Leo, the Lion): “King and Lionheart” by Of Monsters and Men

“And as the world comes to an end, I'll be here to hold your hand, 'cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart.”

Cups

1. The Page of Cups: “The Salmon Dance” by The Chemical Brothers

“Hello, boys and girls, my name is Fat Lip, and this is my friend, Sammy the Salmon! Today we're gonna teach you some fun facts about salmon and a brand new dance.”

2. The Knight of Cups (Pisces, the Fishes): “Knight of Noir” by Susanne Sundfor

“I can't go back again and lock the door. In the dead of night I hear her call out for more. I want to be stung by the stars, I gave her my soul and my heart, and now I am a slave.”

3. The Queen of Cups (Cancer, the Crab): “The Queen and I” by Gym Class Heroes

“I love it how she breaths booze in the morning... and it’s so sexy how she can't remember last night... I made the fatal mistake of letting her drink again. But who the hell am I to tell her how to live her life?”

4. The King of Cups (Scorpio, the Scorpion): “Sea King” by Eisley

“Sea King, Sea king, can't you see that you're so silly? Sea King, I know things, and without love you won't get far...”

[Honorable mention: Franz Schubert’s rendition of Goethe’s “Der Koenig in Thule” is probably the ultimate King of Cups song, but it felt too different in musical style -- and language -- to include in this playlist. Still, it’s gorgeous, and the lyrics are perfect.]

Swords

1. The Page of Swords: “The Sword and the Pen” by Regina Spektor

“What if the sword kills the pen? What if the god kills the man? And if he does it with love, well then, it's death from above, and death from above is still a death...”

2. The Knight of Swords (Gemini, the Twins): “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse

“No one's going to take me alive. Time has come to make things right. You and I must fight for our rights. You and I must fight to survive.”

3. The Queen of Swords (Libra, the Scales): “My Snow White Queen” by Evanescence

“You belong to me, my snow white queen... There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.”

4. The King of Swords (Aquarius, the Water Bearer): “The Idiot Kings” by Soul Coughing

“Batting in the light, my reptile-lidded eyes. And all this strung end to end, is wider than the mind.”

Pentacles

1. The Page of Pentacles: “Sweet Child” by Pentangle

“You've been working so hard all day, won't you take your rest? You've been driving my blues away, now it is my turn. Come fly beneath my wings, sweet child it may not be for long.”

2. The Knight of Pentacles (Virgo, the Virgin): “Knights of Malta” by Smashing Pumpkins

“Where omens scar your door... Like a harvest we're bound and set for war... But no soldier comes...”

3. The Queen of Pentacles (Capricorn, the Goat): "Dreaming of the Queen” by The Pet Shop Boys

“Then carriages arrived... We stood and said goodbye. Diana dried her eyes and looked surprised, for I was in the nude. The old Queen disapproved, but people laughed and asked for autographs.”

4. The King of Pentacles (Taurus, the Bull): “A Farewell to Kings” by Rush

“Cities full of hatred, fear and lies, withered hearts, and cruel, tormented eyes... Scheming demons dressed in kingly guise, beating down the multitude, and scoffing at the wise. Whoa, can't we raise our eyes and make a start? Can't we find the minds to lead us closer to the heart?”

Giant shout-out to the Tarot Nerds Facebook Group for inspiring me. You are the best.

#tarot #playlist #tarot playlist

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as-many-times-as-it-takes · 6 years

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Not looking for reassurance about canonical Sheith, I just need to vent. I heard you were offering hugs, would it be okay to ask for one, please? I let myself get too damn invested in canonical Sheith and I'm such a freaking mess right now & not in the good way. I really am way beyond old enough to know better, and I'm gay to boot. Again, I should know better! I love Sheith so much & always will, whatever happens in canon. Thank you for letting me vent, you're truly a kind person.

Hey there @mereneith !

You absolutely can have a hug from the craziness of this season. And I know you aren’t specifically looking for reassurance or anything, but I did want to add something to your comments.

There is no such thing as way beyond old enough to know better.

This is a long (very optimistic though!) personal discussion. Feel free to skip it if you just want hugs. Otherwise, read on.

Once upon a time I thought that as I grew older I would be expected to outgrow things and to set aside “childish interests and hopes” blah blah and I would magically transform into an adult and live an adult life.

Well fuck that.

I am a trans gay man, pushing just past his thirties and you know what? Voltron has changed my life.

You see, we fall in love with characters because we find aspects in them that are important to us. It may be because we see ourselves in them, or find them very relatable. Or perhaps they represent something we’d like to see in our friends or lovers. Aspects that remind us fondly of our friends and family, or perhaps even aspects that remind us of our flaws. But this attachment isn’t childish or silly. It’s actually very healthy and important. As most people know, it’s often very difficult to learn a tough lesson on your own. But if you were to watch a person go through a similar issue who you feel strongly about, you will find that tangential learning can actually teach you a whole lot much faster.

Children are growing up today seeing their hero Shiro as a really awesome, strong man who also happens to be gay, deals with bad stress/PTSD, and has been disabled. How many of them will grow to not only accept these things, but grow and learn from them? So why should this be any different with adults?

I openly admit that I associate very strongly with Keith. I’ve been the outcast, I’ve struggled fitting in and lashing out. I’ve been left behind and felt abandoned again and again to the point that it was easier to push people away ahead of time than it would be to ever try to open up. All the knowledge in the world on fencing, dog sledding, falconry (rehab), archery, swordplay, target shooting, etc etc and all my talents at it still didn’t fix the fact that I was socially inept and hated the world around me. But then I also know the value then, of finding a Shiro in your life. Someone who took that time to push past your thorns and offer you unconditional support and affection. It’s why Sheith resonated with me instantly and why they became so important to me.

So watching the show was instantly a pleasure. I didn’t think it’d ever be a thing to begin with, but I was still content to dream. And when I found a very loving fandom behind it, I actually felt a lot of peace seeing other people who also felt like this. There are a great many people in the world right now who ship Sheith because it is an expression of mutual love, compassion, support, admiration, and dedication. Everyone has their own unique love and perspective on why Shiro and Keith are important to them, but we also share a common passion.

When I first started this blog in Season 3, I had been many years away from my previous blogging experience. Depression, life, and all sorts of stuff had gotten in the way and I’d sort of drifted away from something that had been a great passion of mine. So I thought I’d be brave and start up a blog here.

And it grew, and I made a few friends and had a good time until depression and life got me down again and I disappeared for about a year or so until Season 6. When I returned, I thought for sure I would never keep up with the main blogs or all the truly awesome artists out there. But you know what? I had changed, and I had grown and the fandom welcomed me back with open arms.

Sheith inspired me to draw again. My “You Found Me” piece was not only one of the first digital pieces I’d done in over 6 months, it was also a big leap in what sorts of things I could draw. And I’ve kept pumping out art slowly but surely and each time I do, I’ve learned just a little bit more and been all that much more proud. I started writing again too! Who cares if it’s fanfiction? Why would that make it any less valid or satisfying? I also was a braver man and I started reaching out to people that I saw in the fandom who I wanted to get to know.

And I have completely changed my life. I have made some of the most wonderful friends now. I am still getting to know many of them, but I already am just so happy to have more people to talk to, celebrate with and get to know. I’m part of multiple discord servers, multiple art projects and I have seen an amazing amount of support for my writing! I’ve had my writing translated into other languages, I’ve been called someone’s hero, I see asks and prompts in my inbox of people who want to talk to me and hear my opinion.

Sheith isn’t just important to me, it’s changed my life. The characters have spoke to me on a personal level and I still learn from, yes, a cartoon show. It’s made me think more critically and become more introspective. It’s allowed me to express myself better and find common ground with more people. And with the amount of amazing support from the staff and Voltron in general, Shiro and Keith’s relationship and their characters in general have validated a lot of my life, my orientation, I could go on and on.

I haven’t really said it aloud all at once, but these are all true. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about these things or we’ve been told it’s “childish” or “foolish.” I laugh and weep over Sheith because I am also invested and I want it to come true and I’m not ashamed of it. I am a total gay disaster and have spent days greeting my BFF with “OMG SHIRO IS GAY HOLY SHIT!!!” for days on end after the announcement. I have fussed and wept because I worried it might not happen. Yeah, I feel silly sometimes too. I regard myself as a very logical individual in a very logical profession. But I am also a creature of passion, instinct, and emotion. I want to be the voice for others who are too nervous to speak, who are still not ready yet, or just need to hear it from someone else. I want to be the one to help tell people it’s okay to fall in love with characters and feel strongly about them and learn from them.

I will always love Sheith no matter what. It’s changed my life and made me a better person. And I will endlessly be thankful to the entire Voltron crew for everything they’ve done for us.

But I also have faith and I want to hand out hugs and tell people to keep their chins up.

Remember,

Patience Yields Focus

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Don’t feel bad about being invested or taking joy in something. Instead, celebrate it and embrace it. Turn it into a positive force that enriches the people around you. I think Shiro put it best:

Go, be great.

#sheith #shiro #keith #voltron #meta #john talks #personal growth #disaster gay #mereneith

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northbndtrain · 6 years

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Okay, so the other day I said I was thinking about adding a new show to the blog, but I wanted to get caught up on all of the episodes before I made my decision. I finished binging all three seasons last night, so here it is...12 Monkeys.

For everyone here who hasn't watched the show before, some answers to your questions...

WHAT'S THE PLOT: Dr. Cassandra Railly is minding her own business when this strange man named James Cole suddenly appears out of thin air, kidnaps her, and tells her he's a time traveler sent back to our present to stop a viral outbreak that will kill almost everyone on Earth. People in the future know that Cassie plays a role in what's about to happen, but no one knows yet exactly what her role is. Things spiral from there.

SO IF YOU'RE ADDING IT THERE HAS TO BE ROMANCE: Yessssss there isssss. The show's primary (lol) relationship is between Cassie and Cole.

They’re one of the slowest slow-burn couples, but it is really delicious watching their relationship deepen as they deal with both internal and external conflicts that threaten to tear them apart.

WAIT WHY DOES SHE LOOK FAMILIAR: Oh, I DON'T KNOW...

WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE SCI-FI: I don’t tend to seek out science-fiction television shows myself, but this show works for me. I came for the romance and stayed not just for that but for the humor (the humor REALLY kicks up in S2 and S3) and the (sometimes stomach-churning) plot twists.

WHAT IF I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE: That's okay -- I haven't seen it yet either. You don't need to see the movie to appreciate the tv show because they're only really related in that they work off the same basic premise. (Though from what I've read there are some easter eggs on the tv show that will be appreciated by people who have seen the film. Speaking of...)

WAIT, WHY AM I GETTING REVENGE VIBES: Madeline Stowe (Victoria Grayson) starred in the original film and has an awesome cameo appearance in Season 2. It was so great to have her on my tv screen again that when I recognized her voice (she speaks before you see her) I wanted to stand up and cheer. (And, hair-wise and fierce-need-to-protect-each-other-wise-which-sometimes-means-pushing-each-other-away-wise, there's some superficial similarities between Cole/Cassie and Jack/Emily.)

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU TELL ME WITHOUT GIVING AWAY MASSIVE SPOILERS: Jennifer Goines. JENNIFER GOINES. Believe the hype. After I watched the first episode, I took a tiny peek at the 12 Monkeys tag and saw everyone worshiping Jennifer, and I didn't get it. I GET IT NOW.

I'M STILL ON THE FENCE or I WATCHED A FEW EPISODES BUT I’M NOT FEELING IT YET: While I was intrigued by the concept, it took awhile for me to actually get hooked on the show, so if you aren’t sold by the first few episodes, I encourage you to stick with it to see what surprises are still to come. I was actually accidentally spoiled for a couple of major plot twists, but the WAY they unfolded still surprised me.

And the show is also great at mixing up dynamics between the characters and figuring out reasons to, say, send two or three characters who rarely interact off on a mission where they are FORCED to interact. As a result, three seasons in, each of the main characters has his or her own distinct relationship with each of the other main characters, and those relationships inform what happens later on down the line.

This may not seem like a novel concept, but too many shows don’t make the most of their ensembles. 12 Monkeys does.

Anyway, here are some recent reviews (well, the Vox one is from the start of S2) -- don’t click on the links unless you want to be spoiled, but the headlines speak for themselves.

IGN Review: Season 3 rated 9.5, “Amazing” and “Editor’s Choice”

Vox: “Why you should watch SyFy’s unlikely time travel movie remake”

Forbes Review: Season 3 “The Best Sci-Fi Show on Television”

The Workprint Review: Season 3 “A Triumph in Time-Travel Storytelling”

Nerdist Review Season 3 “Brilliant, Beautiful, Bonkers”

WHERE CAN I WATCH IT: Currently, only three seasons have been released. All three are available for purchase on the usual suspects: Amazon, iTunes, etc. Seasons 1 and 2 are available to on Hulu and on DVD/BluRay. (Apparently there are currently no plans for a Season 3 DVD release, which is a shame because I bought the S1 and S2 DVDs and they have a lot of great bonus material.)

The fourth and final season recently wrapped production and will air this summer on SyFy, and you can bet I will be blogging about it here.

Thanks for reading. :)

#12 monkeys #cassie x cole #cole x cassie #madeleine stowe #jennifer goines #hello followers #note from north #northpost

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prouxvaire · 3 years

Text

Drinking Beer & Building Shit: Donkey Shelters

First, a warning: Sad farm shit ahead.

About this time last year, I walked out to the barn one morning and found the older of my two donkeys, Doc, laying unresponsive on the ground. He was alive, but barely. The vet lives just down the road and was able to make it out to us quickly–so I didn’t have to wait long for help and a diagnosis–but it wasn’t good news. Doc had some kind of stroke or other neurological event in the early hours of the morning. He was blind, unable to stand up, not responsive to outside stimuli, and very clearly suffering.

I’m not a person who puts down an animal easily or lightly, but in this case, there was no question about whether or not it was the right decision. And it still really sucked.

My only consolation is that it was the best case scenario in a shitty situation. If the stroke happened in the middle of the night and I came out to find a dead donkey in the barn in the morning, I never would have known what caused it (and then would have been in a full-on panic about whether or not he got into something toxic, or if there was some kind of electrical hazard, or all of the million other scenarios I would blame myself for.) Or if the symptoms had been less severe, I might have held on longer than I should have and he would have suffered needlessly.

And he was, in fact, an old donkey. An old donkey who had a good life here causing trouble and escaping fences, and generally giving me a run for my money in the “who can be the grumpiest old man on the farm” contest.

So, losing him was fucking sad.

It was two hours of pure crisis, adrenaline, sorrow, and then, when it was over and the vet was driving away, I turned back to the barn and realized… it was not actually over. Because there was a 300lb dead donkey in the barn. In December (When the ground is typically frozen… i.e not ideal for farm burials.)

Let me say again, for the record, how fucking sad this was. And, also, a completely different set of logistics than when, say, a beloved family pet like a dog or cat dies.

Anyway, my mom showed up with a case of beer and we got the thing done, but, let me just say… not the most fun part of farm life. (Possibly related note: I own a set of bucket forks and have access to a backhoe tractor attachment now.)

So, that is the very sad part of this story.

It’s also relevant to note that at this point in time I was just maxed the fuck out on “tasks”. There was almost a whole year of life there that just felt like a neverending set of tasks that sucked the life out of me and brought me no joy or energy. (Probably worth analyzing, but not in this post.) Finding a new donkey to integrate into the farm was an endeavour fraught with tasks, when my tank was already running on empty.

At the same time, donkeys are social animals (you can’t just have a single donkey in a pasture by itself… that’s torture.)

So–ignoring everything else going on in the world in early 2020–even just on the farm, both Parker and I were struggling.

Initially the way we handled this was just by opening the gates to the pasture and letting Parks hang out wherever he pleased…

When it was Parker and Doc together, the pasture escapes invariably ended up with me chasing both of them back from down the road like a crazy person (and, on one memorable occasion, getting dragged through a field by a donkey on the run, true story) … but Parker alone just wanted to hang out and be closer to the “action”. (i.e. whatever I had going on)

(In another life I would definitely have a pasture closer to the house and more integrated with the back yard. Donkeys like being a part of stuff.)

But, come summer, I couldn’t ignore that Parker needed more donkey friends (and that getting him donkey friends was going to mean a lot more work for me.)

One of my good (human) friends found a donkey rescue about an hour away, and the director of that donkey rescue convinced me to adopt 3 new bonded donkeys.

That’s a mom (Marianne), her boyfriend (Guy), and her daughter (Zoey.)

Parker was super excited to meet them at first. But they had been spending most of their time in a pasture with 20 other donkeys, so they were actually more excited for wide open spaces and grass, than to hang out with Parker.

Also, Parker took a liking to Marianne, and Guy took exception to a dude hitting on his girlfriend… and I had a regular donkey love triangle on my hands.

It became clear, quickly, that all of them could not share a pasture. Also, there was a fencing shortage in 2020 because… reasons. I guess everyone was building fences and using a lot of toilet paper in quarantine?

I rigged up two different versions of a “fence” that the donkeys basically just laughed at and jumped over about 30 seconds after I thought I was done. (Did not know donkeys were jumpers before this… fun fact for me.) Then my mom took over with the help of my neighbor and rigged up, well, this thing…

And I’m going to say it was 67% effective, because one third of the donkeys figured out how to do this…

You really have to watch that thing to the end… it is astounding.

(If this post is starting to feel like an epic saga, imagine what it was like to live the thing.)

Anyway, efficacy of the fence notwithstanding, I needed another shelter (aka run-in) for the donkeys, since they all couldn’t share space in the barn without a lot of aggression. Which meant this mess had to go…

I built this addition/annex to the chicken run back in 2017 when my chickens were being mysteriously killed. (By, it turned out, a dog that lives down the road, and was slipping the fence when the batteries on his electric collar went out.)It looked a lot better then.

For the most part, since the dog was secured, the chicken run (and annex) have only been used periodically. And, in the meantime, have collected a lot of weeds. So…

Goodbye chicken run annex.

So many “helpers” on the farm.

There’s some old barn foundation in this area so I used tapcons and the sheer force of my will to hold the posts in place for this build. Then tied it in to the existing barn “framing”. (I use that term loosely because that barn is older than all of us.)

Still holds up though.

The roofing I used on the chicken run was basically corrugated asphalt, which I know, sounds weird…but it’s cheap, easy to install, and good for scrappy farm structures. For these purposes I want general shelter, but nothing needs to be weatherproof obviously.

Not going to lie, it takes a soft (and accurate) touch with a hammer to install this stuff, because if you miss the nail it’s super easy to put a hole in.) Perhaps best installed sans beer? I wouldn’t know.

Fun fact about corrugated asphalt roofing… I guess it’s delicious?

I wouldn’t know, BUT THE DONKEYS WOULD.

Generally I have no complaints about this roofing except for one thing… between the time I built the chicken run and the time I built the addition, they changed the size of their sheets from 4×6 to 3×6 (and also were straight out of the color gray this summer.) So I ended up short a panel and also now I have a multi-colored barn roof.

Normally this shit would drive me nuts, but honestly… 2020 was exhausting.

This run-in has one wall open to the north, and the west side was finished off with pine planks.

While the intent was to provide shade and shelter in late summer and fall, it’s not appropriate for an all-season shelter in Michigan.

So while that was a good weekend project last summer, I also had to do some modifications in the barn to have a split stall.

This was the existing set-up:

Although just for reference, this was the setup back in 2013 when I first decided to adopt donkeys:

So, marked improvement.

But it was not enough space for ALL the donkeys, particularly ALL the donkeys that did not get along. So.

The back wall came out, and I created a flexible “stall” by adding a fence gate (so the barn can be one stall or two, with a second entry through an old man-door on the north side of the barn.)

Let me just say, it required a lot of “creative” engineering… (creative = beer, just FYI.)

So, good news, it kind of worked, in that all of this effort did manage to keep my one lonely donkey separated from the three larger donkeys who wanted to bully him. But it didn’t work in that the whole point of this endeavor was for Parker not to be One Lonely Donkey.

Marianne, Zoe, and Guy would be incredible donkeys for anyone who either had an established herd or were just adopting those three alone (they were super friendly and great with people… also, hilarious) but, in this case, were not good friends for Parker, and also (if it wasn’t clear) a metric fuckton of work for me.

Honestly, the thing that is obvious now (and really should have been obvious then) is that you can’t bring 3 bonded donkeys into a space with one single donkey and expect everyone to be friends. After two months with only increased aggression toward Parker I decided I couldn’t foster the 3 larger donkeys any longer, and instead sent my mom on a mission to find one other lonely male donkey that might be less aggressive and more likely to bond with Parker.

So…

Meet Nigel.

Nigel and Parker spent 3 weeks in separate pastures, but are now living together on the farm like a couple of grumpy old men. (Which makes three of us.)

And listen, dealing with donkey drama really was the least of anyone’s concerns (including mine) in 2020, but still, it was exhausting.

Anway, we got through it…

Welcome to the farm, buddy.

from https://ift.tt/3cKFmAS

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sureyhny · 3 years

Text

Drinking Beer & Building Shit: Donkey Shelters

First, a warning: Sad farm shit ahead.

I’m not a person who puts down an animal easily or lightly, but in this case, there was no question about whether or not it was the right decision. And it still really sucked.

So, losing him was fucking sad.

Let me say again, for the record, how fucking sad this was. And, also, a completely different set of logistics than when, say, a beloved family pet like a dog or cat dies.

So, that is the very sad part of this story.

At the same time, donkeys are social animals (you can’t just have a single donkey in a pasture by itself… that’s torture.)

So–ignoring everything else going on in the world in early 2020–even just on the farm, both Parker and I were struggling.

Initially the way we handled this was just by opening the gates to the pasture and letting Parks hang out wherever he pleased…

(In another life I would definitely have a pasture closer to the house and more integrated with the back yard. Donkeys like being a part of stuff.)

But, come summer, I couldn’t ignore that Parker needed more donkey friends (and that getting him donkey friends was going to mean a lot more work for me.)

One of my good (human) friends found a donkey rescue about an hour away, and the director of that donkey rescue convinced me to adopt 3 new bonded donkeys.

That’s a mom (Marianne), her boyfriend (Guy), and her daughter (Zoey.)

Also, Parker took a liking to Marianne, and Guy took exception to a dude hitting on his girlfriend… and I had a regular donkey love triangle on my hands.

And I’m going to say it was 67% effective, because one third of the donkeys figured out how to do this…

You really have to watch that thing to the end… it is astounding.

(If this post is starting to feel like an epic saga, imagine what it was like to live the thing.)

For the most part, since the dog was secured, the chicken run (and annex) have only been used periodically. And, in the meantime, have collected a lot of weeds. So…

Goodbye chicken run annex.

So many “helpers” on the farm.

Still holds up though.

Fun fact about corrugated asphalt roofing… I guess it’s delicious?

I wouldn’t know, BUT THE DONKEYS WOULD.

Normally this shit would drive me nuts, but honestly… 2020 was exhausting.

This run-in has one wall open to the north, and the west side was finished off with pine planks.

While the intent was to provide shade and shelter in late summer and fall, it’s not appropriate for an all-season shelter in Michigan.

So while that was a good weekend project last summer, I also had to do some modifications in the barn to have a split stall.

This was the existing set-up:

Although just for reference, this was the setup back in 2013 when I first decided to adopt donkeys:

So, marked improvement.

But it was not enough space for ALL the donkeys, particularly ALL the donkeys that did not get along. So.

The back wall came out, and I created a flexible “stall” by adding a fence gate (so the barn can be one stall or two, with a second entry through an old man-door on the north side of the barn.)

Let me just say, it required a lot of “creative” engineering… (creative = beer, just FYI.)

So…

Meet Nigel.

Nigel and Parker spent 3 weeks in separate pastures, but are now living together on the farm like a couple of grumpy old men. (Which makes three of us.)

And listen, dealing with donkey drama really was the least of anyone’s concerns (including mine) in 2020, but still, it was exhausting.

Anway, we got through it…

Welcome to the farm, buddy.

from Home Improvement http://diydiva.net/2021/02/drinking-beer-building-shit-donkey-shelters/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

andrewysanders · 3 years

Text

Drinking Beer & Building Shit: Donkey Shelters

First, a warning: Sad farm shit ahead.

I’m not a person who puts down an animal easily or lightly, but in this case, there was no question about whether or not it was the right decision. And it still really sucked.

So, losing him was fucking sad.

Let me say again, for the record, how fucking sad this was. And, also, a completely different set of logistics than when, say, a beloved family pet like a dog or cat dies.

So, that is the very sad part of this story.

At the same time, donkeys are social animals (you can’t just have a single donkey in a pasture by itself… that’s torture.)

So–ignoring everything else going on in the world in early 2020–even just on the farm, both Parker and I were struggling.

Initially the way we handled this was just by opening the gates to the pasture and letting Parks hang out wherever he pleased…

(In another life I would definitely have a pasture closer to the house and more integrated with the back yard. Donkeys like being a part of stuff.)

But, come summer, I couldn’t ignore that Parker needed more donkey friends (and that getting him donkey friends was going to mean a lot more work for me.)

One of my good (human) friends found a donkey rescue about an hour away, and the director of that donkey rescue convinced me to adopt 3 new bonded donkeys.

That’s a mom (Marianne), her boyfriend (Guy), and her daughter (Zoey.)

Also, Parker took a liking to Marianne, and Guy took exception to a dude hitting on his girlfriend… and I had a regular donkey love triangle on my hands.

And I’m going to say it was 67% effective, because one third of the donkeys figured out how to do this…

You really have to watch that thing to the end… it is astounding.

(If this post is starting to feel like an epic saga, imagine what it was like to live the thing.)

For the most part, since the dog was secured, the chicken run (and annex) have only been used periodically. And, in the meantime, have collected a lot of weeds. So…

Goodbye chicken run annex.

So many “helpers” on the farm.

Still holds up though.

Fun fact about corrugated asphalt roofing… I guess it’s delicious?

I wouldn’t know, BUT THE DONKEYS WOULD.

Normally this shit would drive me nuts, but honestly… 2020 was exhausting.

This run-in has one wall open to the north, and the west side was finished off with pine planks.

While the intent was to provide shade and shelter in late summer and fall, it’s not appropriate for an all-season shelter in Michigan.

So while that was a good weekend project last summer, I also had to do some modifications in the barn to have a split stall.

This was the existing set-up:

Although just for reference, this was the setup back in 2013 when I first decided to adopt donkeys:

So, marked improvement.

But it was not enough space for ALL the donkeys, particularly ALL the donkeys that did not get along. So.

The back wall came out, and I created a flexible “stall” by adding a fence gate (so the barn can be one stall or two, with a second entry through an old man-door on the north side of the barn.)

Let me just say, it required a lot of “creative” engineering… (creative = beer, just FYI.)

So…

Meet Nigel.

Nigel and Parker spent 3 weeks in separate pastures, but are now living together on the farm like a couple of grumpy old men. (Which makes three of us.)

And listen, dealing with donkey drama really was the least of anyone’s concerns (including mine) in 2020, but still, it was exhausting.

Anway, we got through it…

Welcome to the farm, buddy.

from Home http://diydiva.net/2021/02/drinking-beer-building-shit-donkey-shelters/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#home

0 notes

nah-she-didnt · 3 years

Text

Spirits And Bones, Chapter 3 The Witch

Chapter 3 of Spirits And Bones is up now! Read here on AO3 :)

This story is so fun to write, and so far I haven’t hit a wall story-wise, so let’s hope it keeps going smoothly!

Weeks went by, and soon spring crept at the corners of the earth. The snow began to thaw and new buds peaked through the warming soil. Lily would soon be able to find and harvest the plants her mother showed her a lifetime ago. She would dry Marigolds to treat stings, gather Alexanders for stomach pain, and dig up bramble roots to soothe aches and coughs. Spring had always been her favorite season. She marveled at the way every year the bleak earth was reborn into something unrecognizable once more.

The problem with Spring, Lily soon realized, is that the melting snow gave way for travel once more. One day she received a letter from Petunia who wrote that she planned to visit as soon as the roads dried enough for her carriage to move across them once more. Petunia did not include in the letter the true meaning for her visit, which Lily suspected was to check up on her progress as a wife.

The carriage arrived a few days later, and a stout horseman leapt down from his perch above the carriage to open the door. Petunia stepped clumsily down from the carriage, grimacing as she steadied herself upon the horseman’s arm. Lily knew that touching such a lowly servant probably pained her sister. She smirked. Petunia should have thought of that before she had chosen such a gaudy dress that made it impossible for her to move freely. No doubt she chose the dress in an attempt to make her sister jealous.

“Darling Lily,” Petunia simpered as she kissed Lily once on each cheek, “how are you? How is married life treating you?”

Lily tried not to roll her eyes. “As well as can be expected, I suppose.”

Petunia frowned. “You know I have never appreciated your dark humor, sister.”

“Yes, well. Come, let’s sit in the garden. The crocuses have just begun to bloom.” Lily gestured to the gate on the low stone fence that led to her back garden.

Petunia wrinkled her nose. “May we not sit inside? This dress is far too fine to be ruined by garden muck.”

Soon they sat in awkward silence in front of the fireplace. Mary brought them a pot of tea and a plate of crackers. Lily watched as her sister nibbled around the corners of her cracker then placed it back onto her plate. She could not help but notice how gray her sister looked.

“Is everything well, Petunia?” she cautioned, “are you tired from your journey?”

At this, Petunia practically beamed. She rarely smiled, so Lily was not used to how happiness looked upon her face, but she detected a triumph in Petunia’s features that was impossible to ignore.

“I have news,” she sighed, drawing a hand to her abdomen, “I am with child.”

Lily blinked. “Oh,” she managed, dragging a smile onto her lips, “uh, congratulations.”

“Yes, well, Vernon was ever so pleased when I told him. He said we would name him Dudley, after Vernon’s father. He really was a remarkable man-”

“Sorry,” Lily interrupted, “how do you know it’s going to be a boy?”

Petunia glared at her. “Of course he will be a boy. Vernon will need assistance with the business someday, he must have a son to carry on the family legacy.”

Lily nodded, not bothering to mention that desire for a boy did not make one ounce of difference in a baby’s sex. “And if it is a girl?”

“For God’s sake, Lily,” Petunia whined, “can you not just be happy for me, for once?”

Lily shrugged. “I am happy for you. I just mean that I’m sure you will love your child no matter it’s sex, that’s all.”

The air between them grew chilly. Petunia stared down at the hand that caressed her bump angrily. “I should have known you would ruin this.”

“How have I ruined anything?” Lily fought the urge to laugh in frustration, “I have said congratulations, said I’m happy for you, and said I am sure you will be a good mother. What else is there?”

“Do not think I’ve noticed that you are not pregnant yet,” Petunia sneered, “having difficulty holding Severus’ attention, are we?”

Lily did not answer this. When she had first married Severus she certainly had not suffered from any lack of attention in that regard. But ever since she had cut his hand Severus had kept his distance. He left for long hours at a time, often spending the night at his father’s house and avoiding her bed at night. She certainly could not complain. She much preferred being alone to being in his company anyway.

Petunia scoffed. “That is it, is it not? You’re jealous of my fortune.”

Lily’s eyes snapped back to her sister’s. “Is that what you call it? I was not aware a child was an economic achievement.”

Petunia laughed mirthlessly. “Of course it is, idiot girl. That is all there is in this world. You either serve your husband, or you do not. Do not take your frustrations out on me if you cannot obey Severus.”

“Well,” Lily sighed, taking another sip of now-cold tea, “I certainly will not weep because I cannot be servant, mother, and wet nurse to my husband all at once.”

Petunia stood suddenly, her face contorted into a snarl. “I am leaving. You were a wicked child and now you are a wicked woman. I hope you rot here.”

“I probably will, thanks to you and father,” Lily spat. She was tired of hearing all her life what a miserable disappointment she was to her sister. “Leave, and when your daughter is born you do not dare to name her after our mother.”

Petunia threw her one last hateful glance before turning on her heel to march out the door. Lily heard the sound of the horseman jumping down from his perch once more to help his mistress into the carriage, and then they were off once more.

Lily sat for a long while gazing into the dying flames. She hated her sister, but she also pitied her. She had not benefited from their mother’s training as Lily had. Perhaps if she had been magic too she could have learned to want more from life than to be Vernon’s lapdog for the rest of her days. But then Lily remembered how happy, truly happy, Petunia had looked on her wedding day. She began to regret the fight with her sister. Who was she to question Petunia’s decisions?

A movement through the window caught Lily’s attention. The old woman with the basket of holly branches was back, only this time her basket was empty and she walked in the direction of the woods. Lily sprang to her feet and ran to the door, pausing only to grab her cloak and force her feet into the boots she had carelessly discarded earlier that day.

She wrenched open the heavy door and ran into the front yard. “Wait! Stop!” she called after the woman.

The figure stilled and turned slowly to face her. She had long, black hair with streaks of silver that fell into ringlets around her face. Her eyes were so grey they were nearly white. Lily startled. Her mother’s eyes had been almost exactly that shade.

Lily ran forward to face the woman. “May I ask your name?”

The woman smiled. “You may, although considering you have not given me yours, I may not answer.”

“Oh,” Lily fumbled, feeling her cheeks flush, “I’m Lily. This is my house,” she gestured carelessly behind her.

The woman looked up at the great stone building. “Is it? It’s a fine house. You must be very happy there.”

Lily did her best not to laugh at this. “But please, tell me, who are you?”

Crinkles appeared at the corners of the woman’s grey eyes. “My name is Euphemia, lady. I do not live far from here.”

“Oh, please, I’m no lady,” Lily crossed her arms across her stomach, suddenly self-conscious.

“It does not appear that way,” Euphemia gestured to Lily’s cloak and dress, “your clothes are fine, your hands soft. You look fed and watered, and I believe I just interrupted your afternoon tea. Does that not make you a lady?”

Lily felt annoyance flicker in her. “I’m sorry,” she frowned, “have I offended you in some way?”

Euphemia laughed. “No, dear, you haven’t. Forgive me, I’m not used to speaking with residents of this town, and I’m afraid I spoke out of turn. Would you like to walk with me for a while?”

Lily hesitated, glancing back at the house. It would be dark soon, and Severus might choose tonight of all nights to return home after a day in his father’s house. But then again, he had not been home for three days, why should he pick tonight to call upon her again?

“Alright,” she said carefully, then fell into step beside the woman. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Lily felt uncomfortable as if she should fill the silence with small talk.

Euphemia, however, walked happily beside her, gazing around at the newly-budding trees with great interest. “You are new to this house.” It was not a question.

Lily nodded. “I married Severus last winter, and now I live here.” She tried not to let the bitterness show in her voice.

Euphemia smiled. “You eat and lay to rest there, perhaps. But I can feel you come more and more alive with each step you take away from that place. How have you found the woods so far?”

She stared stupidly at Euphemia for a moment. This woman became stranger by the minute. “How do you know that I’ve even been in the woods at all?”

“It’s in the way you move,” she said simply, “you walk as if you are anticipating your next step. You walk like someone who has tread forests with no paths many times before.”

Lily did not know what to say to that. “I like them well,” she said finally, “I feel it is the only place I can feel like myself once more.”

They were at least two hundred paces from her house now. Lily turned back and found she could barely see the building’s outline over the crest of a hill. She would have to be careful to make it back before sundown.

She could feel Euphemia’s eyes on the back of her head as she looked. “When is the last time you felt like yourself? In your old house?”

Lily nodded. “When my mother was alive. She died when I was a child. But she used to take me to the woods and teach me about forest magic.”

She stopped suddenly in her tracks. Euphemia’s warmth had fooled her into speaking too freely.

Euphemia halted too and looked at her intently. “It’s alright. I’m not shocked by anything you’ve told me.”

Lily avoided her gaze. “That is not what I meant. I just meant, you know, she taught me about the forest’s magical beauty.”

“Yes, that is what you meant I’m sure.” Euphemia chuckled. “You know, child, that they call me witch?”

Lily nodded, still not looking at the older woman. “I did,” she said apologetically, “my serving girl told me. She’s terrified of you.”

Euphemia laughed loudly which showed her straight, white teeth. Lily found that, but for the streaks of silver in her hair, she could not determine exactly how old Euphemia was. She seemed wise and experienced, but her skin was soft and smooth. It did not sag as the skin on her grandmother’s face had, but instead glowed as if she were blessed with unnatural youth.

“I don’t blame her. Many of the villagers are afraid of me. They fear what they do not understand.”

“And what do they not understand?” Lily said eagerly. She found that she wanted to know all about this woman, where she came from, and what she did in the forest.

Euphemia sighed. “They have never seen a woman live so well on her own. A woman who provides for herself and does not seek out the company of men. They assume I am a wicked witch, and I’m content in letting them think so. Now,” she glanced at the sun that hovered just above the horizon, “it looks like you should be getting back. I don’t want you to walk alone in the dark, do you understand me?”

Lily flinched at her suddenly harsh tone. “Yes, I understand,” she stammered. She felt the urgency in Euphemia’s voice.

Euphemia nodded. “Good. Well, I must go, but thank you for walking with me, Lily Evans.” She turned on her heel and vanished into the forest.

“Bye,” Lily whispered dazedly at the woman’s back. It suddenly occurred to her that she had never told Euphemia her married name, let alone her maiden name.

The next morning Lily passed Remus in the fields. She was on her way to the forest to explore a new section of the stream that had recently become unfrozen. The fields had thawed by then. For the past few days, Remus had worked tirelessly at the old plow Severus had inherited from his grandfather. As if those delicate hands would ever touch a plow, Lily thought savagely.

Remus looked dreadful. His eyes were rimmed with red as if he had not slept. He had a fresh cut on his cheek to accompany his already-prominent scar.

“Are you alright?” Lily called out to him.

Remus startled and dropped the plow. “F-fine, m’lady.”

She smiled at him playfully. “One day you will call me Lily, I swear it.”

He grinned, then winced, as if the effort of moving the muscles in his face irritated his fresh wound.

“Oh, come here,” Lily beckoned. Remus looked uncertain but shuffled across the field to stand before her. She touched a finger gingerly to his skin. She knew she could not heal him, he already knew too much about her abilities after that day with Snape, but she could gather herbs that would help him.

“I will bring you back some Lady’s Mantle for that cut,” she declared.

Remus’ face grew warm. “Please, do not go through that trouble for me.”

“Nonsense,” she smiled, “it is the least I can do. I have a feeling that my husband does not compensate you well for your work here.”

Remus said nothing but smiled at her more broadly than he ever had before. Suddenly, his gaze fell upon something over Lily’s shoulder. She frowned, turning to see what he was looking at.

Sirius strode across the field toward them. Today he wore a shirt and trousers made of black fur instead of his long shaggy coat from a few weeks ago. He paused a short distance away from Lily and Remus and bowed dramatically before her.

“Gentle lady,” he oozed, holding his arms aloft while he lowered his nose so close to the ground he could kiss it, “please pardon my interruption and let me approach your most noble person.”

Lily laughed. She could not help it. There was something about Sirius that she had noticed right away. He never seemed to take anything, especially himself, too seriously.

“Arise, gentleman,” she said in a mock-pompous voice. He bounced back to his feet grinning. “What can we do for you today?”

Sirius was not looking at her. His eyes passed her and fell on Remus. “Hello again,” he almost whispered.

Remus flushed even deeper scarlet than before and murmured “hullo” under his breath.

Lily cleared her throat. “Again, Sirius, how can we help you?”

“Right,” Sirius said distractedly, wrenching his gaze from Remus, “I came here to tell you both something. My comrade and I, James, I think you’ll remember him, m’lady,” Lily tried to keep her face inscrutable at these words, “frequent a tavern in town. It’s called The Hog’s Head. It’s quiet, cozy, just the way we like things.” His eyes burned with mischief when he said this as if they were missing out on some inside joke. “Anyway, I’m here to cordially invite you both there on Thursday next. That is if you can get away, of course.”

Lily felt her pulse quicken. The offer to see the boy with the familiar brown eyes again was enticing. Plus she yeared for a day away from her house and her miserable husband.

She arranged her face into a neutral expression. “Thank you for your invitation. I will consider your offer. Remus, of course, you may go where you please.”

She looked expectantly at Remus, who nodded vigorously. “Yes,” he breathed, his ears still pink, “I will come.”

“Splendid!” Sirius barked, grinning wildly. “Well, must be off, or Prongs will wonder where I’ve gone. Goodbye, Remus!” He winked, and then he was off into the woods.

Lily smirked sideways at Remus. “What was that about?”

Remus stared at Sirius’ retreating back. “I don’t know what you mean,” he insisted, but his voice was a bit too breathless for her to believe him.

“Mmm,” she hummed, “well, I’m going if I can get away with it.”

Her words forced Remus back to the present. “How? He’ll never let you go.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Severus need never know. We will say nothing, and if we must come up with some story, we will say that you are accompanying me into town for some errands. He trusts you, remember?”

Remus scoffed. “He trusts me not to cuck him, that’s for sure.” He looked suddenly horrified at his words. “Forgive me, please, I spoke without-”

“No, you are right,” Lily said seriously, “and I plan to take full advantage of his notion. If he thinks that I cannot take care of myself without the assistance of a man, then I will appoint you my protector. Alright?”

Remus looked uneasy but nodded. “Alright.”

“Good. Now, I’m off for the Lady’s Mantle. Do not touch that cut until I return.”

“Yes, m’lady,” and then he surprised her by dipping into a low bow just as Sirius had done.

She giggled. “That’s much more like it.”

#spirits and bones #nina writes #S&B update #S&B chapter 3 #jily slowburn #jily fairytale au

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some-cookie-crumbz · 6 years

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Crumbles’ Big Dump of Upcoming Fics

Happy New Year, everybody! I certainly hope that so far things are going well for you all. I had been meaning to make this post a while back but things got kinda… delayed. Between a lot of really painful personal tragedies – including the death of my dad – and a stressful schedule with work and school, I’ve been a little all over the place. 2017 has been, by far, the cruelest and loneliest year of my life. My dad’s death has shattered me in a lot of different ways, but it had a huge impact on my ability to write, which crippled my usual coping mechanism. He was always really invested in the original stories that I work on as well and was also so supportive of my works. It made writing – something that I have always relied on as a stress relief and outlet for my negative emotions – painful and challenging and it, in turn, made me bitter and resentful at myself and at him. I’ll make another post about where I’ve been in my own mind fully just to get it all out eventually, but for now I just want to offer up an abridged version.

Most days I didn’t – and, honestly, there are still days where I don’t – feel like myself at all. But I feel that, at this point, not writing would be a disservice to his memory.

In the last few weeks I’ve felt a bit more clarity and I’ve been able to find my voice again. I don’t want to stop writing and I have no intention of doing it. In fact, my imagination has kinda jump-started back to near-normal capacity and I have a lot of ideas I’m really excited to share. This post is about the ideas I have in mind and when I intend to upload what. I want to put myself on a schedule because I feel like setting goals for myself will be a good way to get me back in the swing of things.

In preparation for this, I’ve actually gone ahead and made myself an AO3 account – which can be found [here] - because the ideas under the “Read More” are all going to be multi-chapter projects. I’ll still make posts here on tumblr when any updates go live (and should have schedules for when each fic will be updated), I just don’t want to post full chapters here, since I tend to write long chapters. I am also adding the disclaimer here that one-shots (with some exceptions)/ requests/ and other things of that ilk will not be listed here because those have no real schedule in mind.

Ships to Expect: SasuSaku (Naruto), SoMa (Soul Eater), Hance (Voltron), and a whole mess of Kidge (Voltron) because I have no control.

The Shrink Treatment 3: Voltron (Kidge): I am almost done with this one and, surprise to no one, there’ll be one more part after that to just wrap it all up. Regardless, though, I should be able to finish this short series up before the end of the month! Release Date: January 11th/12th, 2018 Update Schedule: Once (Part 4 will hopefully be done within two weeks from whichever day I upload Part 3)

Request 5: Voltron (Kidge): Leaving this vague, because I still want it to be a surprise, but the final of a list of requests I received a few months ago! This, much like The Shrink Treatment, ended up getting away from me. I relaly loved the idea and it’s taking me a while to get it finished. Release Date: February 14th, 2018 Update Schedule: Once (Valentine’s Special)

Like Treading Water: Voltron (Kidge): Love isn’t exactly an emotion that is easy to explain or acknowledge if you aren’t actively looking for it. Little nuances will stick out as something irregular and strange, but can be easily shrugged off when a mind applies logic or sound reasoning to it. You can blind yourself to something that is so obvious to those around you simply by virtue of coming up with other explanations. This is a chronology of how each Paladin realized that Keith Kogane and Pidge Gunderson were falling for each other; including the two Paladins themselves. Note: I started working on this back in October of 2015, shortly after I watched the first season and became Voltron trash. As such, I’m currently having to re-read what I’ve written so far to assure that it falls in line with the canon of the series thus far. Release Date: February 14th, 2018 Update Schedule: Once (Valentine’s Special)

Keidge Month: Not a multi-chapter story, but I just want to say I have every intention of participating in Keidge Month in March; in fact, I’ve already started to work on some of my prompt fills. I’ll post all my prompt fills to both here and AO3, just so that people can choose to read it on whichever outlet is more comfortable for them. It’s my number one ship and it happens to take place during my birthday month, so what kind of smuck would I be to not participate? ;3c Release Date: March 1st, 2018 Update Schedule: Daily (Month Long Event)

Cherry Bomb: Naruto (SasuSaku) – After an accident in the facility that she is interning at, Sakura Haruno gains super strength and an accelerated healing element. With the help of her role model, Dr. Tsunade Senju, she learns how to control and harness this power to help protect the denizens of the city. She is thrust into stopping a plot by other humans with genetic mutations to take control of the city using intimidation and force while also trying to keep her secret identity hidden from her photo-journalist boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha. Note: I’ve been planning this project for roughly three – Hell, almost four – years now. This is going to be my final Naruto project – excluding any requests I get – and I want it to be something really special and significant to not just anyone who reads it, but also to my own growth as a writer. Naruto has been one of the longest fandoms I’ve been in and SasuSaku was one of my first really big ships; I want this to be a final love letter worth my time to write and worth everyone’s time to read. Release Date: March 2nd, 2018 Update Schedule: Bi-Weekly

Kidge Week: Again, not a multi-chapter thing but I really needed to say I have every intention of participating in this as well! My goal is to finish as many of my prompt fills for Keidge month before the prompts for Kidge Week drop in February as possible so that I can start working on that ASAP. Release Date: April 15th, 2018 Update Schedule: Daily (Week Long Event)

Hance Month: What do you know, I had way more things to list as non-multi-chapter fics for the first half of the year than I thought! Another extended event I have every intention of participating in because I really want to produce more content for Hance. It’s really such an great, under-rated ship that deserves more love! Release Date: May 1st, 2018 Update Schedule: Daily (Month Long Event)

Lance McClain vs. The World: After getting involved with a charming young engineering student named Hunk Garrett after meeting at a bar, Lance McClain finds himself getting dragged into a series of events that seem to be ripped right out of a comic book. He is given a warning from the leader of something called “Team Voltron”; a group of Hunk’s ex-lovers and close personal friends, dedicated to determining the worthiness of Hunk’s suitors through various competitive means. Never one to back down from a challenge, Lance agrees to the terms and is forced to learn various new skills and talents in order to compete with the roster of powerful opponents he faces. Note: The fact that there aren’t more Scott Pilgrim AUs in any of the fandoms I like is really disappointing, so I decided that I’d fix that problem myself. While I’ll be following the basic formula set up by the source material, I intend to take a very different approach and keep it fresh with some ideas of my own. So if you’ve actually seen Scott Pilgrim? This’ll be of a different flavor, so don’t assume you know what I have up my sleeve. ;3 Release Date: May 10th, 2018 Update Schedule: Weekly or Bi-Weekly.

Bodyguard AU (Title TBD): Voltron (Kidge): After publically calling out the shady business practices of Galra Tech, acclaimed actor Keith Kogane finds himself the subject of both an attempted assassination and threat of blackmail. Undeterred, he feels no fear at the prospect of making an enemy of the powerful conglomerate. Worried about his safety, both physically and his privacy being violated, his agent, Allura LeAltea, calls upon the help of an old charm school friend of hers. Enter Katie Holt; renowned tech prodigy and secret hacker known as Pidge Gunderson, hired on to be Keith’s personal bodyguard. The only catch? The two must pretend to be dating to assure that Katie can tag along with him wherever he goes without cueing Galra Tech into knowing their threats have had an effect. Note: I love Bodyguard AUs. I love Fake Dating AUs. I love deviating from the expectation. On top of that, an amazing Bodyguard AU one-shot has already been written by the talented Camphalfgalra on AO3, in which Keith is the bodyguard and Pidge is his client, so I decided to flip the roles for my own version of the trope. Release Date: June 15th, 2018 Update Schedule: Weekly or Bi-Weekly

Twilight: Voltron (Kidge): One night, Matthew Holt disappeared from his room without a trace. In the time that he’d been gone, his younger sister, Katie Holt, has been frantically pushing for more action to be taken in bringing her brother home; believing he has been whisked away to the deadly mystery of the forest around their small village of Kerberos. With her brother missing, her mother’s health rocky in her grief, and her father away to help a neighboring village with a fast-spreading illness, she is struggling to maintain not only all effort to bring her brother home alive, but also keep the family farm up to its normal functionality. The Head of the Village Guard, Thace Kogane, insists that she accept the help of his two children, Keith and Allura, to assist her with the farm. Initially cold and distant, Katie slowly warms up to the duo and finds that they may be able to offer her more help in finding her brother, as well as unraveling the mysteries of the dark forest just outside the fences of their small village. Note: I basically just threw the Voltron cast into the universe of one of my own stories – The Tragedy of Helena and Jeremiah – and went with it. Pidge is a pseudo-replacement for Helena and Keith is a pseudo-replacement for Jeremiah, though they have drastically different personalities from my own characters, and as such the story goes in a much different direction. I also borrowed some elements from another project of mine - Sweet Tooth - which The Tragedy of Helena and Jeremiah is a prequel to. Release Date: August 17th, 2018 Update Schedule: Bi-Weekly or Monthly

SingleParent!AU (Title TBD): Soul Eater (SoMa): Soul Evans has been struggling with life as a single father for roughly three years now; working two jobs and odd hours to support himself and his precious daughter, Harmony. Upon the announcement of his older brother, Wes, getting married, he is begged to return home to help with preparing for the ceremony and to be his brother’s Best Man. Feeling that he’ll have better opportunities with his family’s support and more time to spend with Harmony, Soul agrees to moving back to Death City. Through fate and circumstance, Soul meets Maka Albarn, the writer of his daughter’s favorite series of children’s books and intended Maid of Honor to Liz Thompson, Wes’ fiancée, and the two get along pretty well. And, perhaps from there, more will develop between them. Note: Bodyguard, Fake Dating, and Single Parent AUs are my fucking weakness. On top of that, I really want to write something that kinda messes with the typical tropes of Single Parent AUs that I’ve read. Hopefully it’ll be a fun ride for everyone! Release Date: September 28st, 2018 Update Schedule: Bi-Weekly

#crumbles grumbles #wow now that I look at it I have a lot of fics planned this year #and this isn't even all of them but just the ones I want to work on the most #might make another later with some other ideas #info dump about my fics

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erincardenthailandblog · 4 years

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Genevieve Forbes

(Genevieve—top row, second from the right—poses with WorldTeach Thailand cohort 2017-2018).

As a result of globalization and great technological progress, English has become the most dominant language in the world. In today’s society more people want to learn English than ever before. As the most common foreign language, English is primarily used as a common way to communicate. Thus, in order to communicate on an international level, English must be spoken and understood. As a result, proficiency in English is often associated with higher incomes, increased employment, and is promoted as a language that can improve the livelihoods of people in developing countries.

Teaching English to non- native speakers is challenging. For one teacher in particular, Genevieve Forbes ’87, (current WorldTeach Thailand Field Director) her experience teaching English in South East Asia is shaped by a belief that the value of teaching ESL is not that English is the most important language—but more significantly—that ESL instructors have the ability to simultaneously promote multicultural awareness and cultural sensitivity.

Genevieve Forbes was born and raised in Milton, an Irish Catholic suburb outside Boston. As a child, conversations revolving South East Asia were held daily. Her aunt and uncle—who met working for Earth Rights—a Human Rights organization—first sparked her interest in Thailand. According to Forbes, both her aunt and uncle were involved with aid work on the Thai Myanmar border. While her aunt protested the Hatgyi Dam,[1] which was displacing the hill tribe population [2] due to flooding, Forbes’ uncle was suing the U.S., company providing the majority of materials and technology for the Hatgyi damming project. “ I grew up watching the videos my aunt and uncle took while working on the Thai Myanmar border, and read the articles they published about their work.” Forbes’ father’s business was also based in South East Asia, and she traveled to Thailand with him frequently. When she was eleven years old Forbes took her first trip to Southeast Asia with her aunt and uncle. “For a very long time my impression of Thailand was that everyone maintained an enduring, ‘you have to keep going’ mentality,” she explained. “When I first got to Thailand I was really overwhelmed. I saw half a dozen temples in twenty-four hours.”

As a result of her family’s business in South East Asia, Forbes too became interested in the region, and decided to focus her undergraduate thesis on the forced slave labor of Burmese migrant workers in Thailand. In 2011 a report by the International Organization for Migration revealed widespread trafficking within Thailand’s fishing industry, with Burmes migrant fishermen being forced to work onboard for years without pay.[3] “I was passionate about this issue because while everyone else was focused on the tourists in this area, they all forgot about this huge migrant population,” she explained. After finishing her thesis in 2010, Forbes decided to continue pursuing her interest in South East Asia. She joined WorldTeach and taught ESL in Nakhon Phanom—a province in northeast Thailand—for one year.Nakhon Phanom is located in Thailand’s Isan region, the only part of the country Forbes had never visited. Generally poorer than the rest of Thailand, Isan is where most of the country’s rice and other central crops are grown. “I was thrilled to finally go there,” she recounted. “I had been interested in exploring it for years.”

Some of the biggest cultural adjustments Forbes faced as a WorldTeach volunteer centered around the language barrier and the differing cultural expectations, especially surrounding appearance. Throughout her time as a volunteer Forbes was hosted by a Thai woman who didn’t speak any English. “This woman had very specific ideas about how I should present myself,” she explained. “She frequently offered me unsolicited advice on my appearance. She told me how to do my makeup, which made me feel self-conscious at times.“

Major class cancellations were another challenge Forbes faced as a new teacher. “I didn’t teach at all for the two first months of my first semester,” she explained. Despite her frustration, Forbes took cancelled class as an opportunity to teach English to any interested students after school hours. “I decided to teach phonetics because I knew it wasn’t part of the Thai rote memorization curriculum,” she told me. “ I believed it would be something all Thai students would benefit from.” To her delight, Forbes’ after school program proved to be very popular. “I was astonished by the sheer enthusiasm I received from my students. Fifty to sixty students showed up at my house every day ready to learn. “

After completing one year teaching ESL in Thailand, Forbes attended UH-Manoa in Hawaii and received her graduate degree in Asian Studies. In 2015, shortly after receiving her masters, WorldTeach offered Forbes the position as field director for the same program that she had served in four years previously. She accepted and moved back to Nakhon Phanom, Thailand. Because she had already lived in Thailand in 2010, Forbes easily readjusted to Thai culture. Comments on her physical appearance no longer bothered her. “I developed a hard shell,” she laughed. “I even learned how to make fun of myself.”

As a field director for the Worldteach Thailand program Forbes was able to focus on issues affecting the Thai education system. In particular, Forbes began paying close attention to the fact that Thai school directors switched schools every one to three years, which she claimed, “is not always conducive to fostering the longevity and emotional connection necessary to impact change.” Forbes also came to realize that the Thai culture of “saving face” had a great impact on the Thai school system. “Saving face” can otherwise be understood as avoiding confrontation, and attempting not to embarrass oneself or others. In Thailand, agreement and harmony are two of the most important characteristics everyone must strive to uphold. According to Forbes, the Thai culture of “saving face” has negatively impacted the education system. “Thai students are passed through classes even if they haven’t learned all the skills required for their grade level,” she explained. “These students are passed because Thai schools are focused on trying to ‘save face,’ they are trying to save their reputation and keep up their appearance as a good school. Schools that do this to primary school students put the students at an extreme disadvantage because they are completely lost when they start secondary school.”

Since Forbes’ initial year living in Nakhon Phanom in 2010, the Isan region has changed dramatically. “When I first came to Thailand with WorldTeach there were no airplanes or taxis in and out of Nakhon Phanom,” she claimed. “There were only overnight buses. There was only one coffee shop in all of Nakhon Phanom city whereas now there are 711s on every two or three blocks.“ Forbes attributes this development to the EEC (the Eastern Economic Corridor) development plan, a new railway trade system in Thailand which has given the trade industry a new focus on capitalizing on areas that were previously disregarded. [4]

Over the years, Forbes has come to realize the various ways she internalized Thai culture.“One of the biggest realizations I had about the effects Thai culture has had on me occurred when I was in Singapore for business,“ she told me. According to Forbes, her persuasive powers worked best in Thailand when she was “sweet” and “nice,” if she entered a business meeting “strong, stern, and surely, it would be unproductive because Thai people would not be as willing to work” with her. “But when I arrived in Singapore,” she recalled, “I tried to get rid of the learned behavior I had adopted in Thailand. My sweet and nice behavior used in business meetings in Thailand was not appropriate for professional meetings in Singapore where, as a woman, you’re not taken seriously unless you have a strong presence.”

Since living in Thailand Forbes has distanced herself from the American saying, “good fences make good neighbors,” and has fallen in love with the strong sense of community found in Thai culture. “If I’m too tired to go to the market to buy food, I know I have a standing invitation to join my neighbors and eat whatever they’re eating,” she explained. “One of my neighbors in particular frequently knocks on my door to give me fruit that’s in season.” This sense of community is not only found in Thai neighborhoods, but also extends to the workplace. “If someone in the office has a sweet treat, they will bring a lot into the office to share with everyone.”

Forbes believes teaching English abroad to be an important endeavor because, in her eyes, “ it promotes multicultural awareness and cultural sensitivity.”

“Many Thai students have never traveled outside the Isan region of Thailand, so having foreign volunteers teach them about different parts of the world opens up their minds in an extremely beneficial way. There was a Chinese student who, after studying with a WorldTeach volunteer, decided to study abroad; first in Finland, then in Germany, and finally decided to go to the U.S., for her bachelors degree. The impact this WorldTeach volunteer had on this one student was enough to inspire the student to step outside of the world that she was born into, and see the parts of the world that were previously unknown. This teacher brought cultural awareness and enthusiasm to the classroom, two very important qualities I believe every good teacher should have.”

In addition to the importance of bringing cultural awareness and enthusiasm to the classroom, Forbes also highlights the importance of having a sense of humor as a teacher. “It will take you a long way, no matter where you are in your life,” she chuckled. “If you’re able to see the humorous part of a seemingly stressful or crazy situation—such as a student who wants to take off his wet shorts because he went swimming in the pond during recess—being equally frustrated and amused takes you a long way.”

Forbes advises that individuals considering teaching abroad should, “open themselves up so they can be all in. And not only for the adventure” she claimed, “ but also for the hard stuff. I recognize the challenges of teaching abroad, but I think it’s important to know that the experience won’t be smooth sailing. Personal growth is never considered to be easy. Look for the ‘silver lining.’ It’s a challenge, but it’s rewarding.”

[1]A hydropower project on the Salween River. Hatgyi Dam. EarthRights International, https://earthrights.org/what-we-do/mega-projects/hatgyi-dam/.

[2] Various ethnic groups who inhabit the mountains of western and northern Thailand, including both sides of the border between northern Thailand, Laos,and Myanmar. To read more about hydropower development in this region: “Damned By Burma's Generals: The Karenni Experience with Hydropower Development from Lawpita to Salween.” (2006). Karenni Development Research Group.https://www.internationalrivers.org/sites/default/files/attached-files/proposed_salween_dams_revive_development_nightmare_for_karenni_in_burma.pdf

[3] Trafficking of Fishermen in Thailand. (2011). Sathorn District, Bangkok: IOM Thailand. Available at:https://www.iom.int/jahia/webdav/shared/shared/mainsite/activities/countries/docs/thailand/Trafficking-of-Fishermen-Thailand.pdf.

[4] Eeco.or.th. (2019). Public Private Partnerships | EEC. Available at:https://www.eeco.or.th/en/content/public-private-partnerships.

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years

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The End: 5x04 Recap

Welcome to the episode that launched a thousand fanworks! There’s so much hinted and untold story between the present and future in this episode. It’s no wonder it’s a favorite for many people to rewatch, and a popular platform from which to launch stories.

Now:

The brothers are still on their own paths towards the apocalypse, and Dean, done with his super platonic buddy time with Cas, pulls up to a motel to crash for the night. A street preacher pesters Dean about God’s plan. Once in his motel room, Dean chats with Cas about the Colt. Cas has a lead on the gun but Dean needs to sleep. Cas is suspicious. God, he’s cute here.

Dean’s phone rings again. This time it’s Sam. Sam is Lucifer’s vessel. Dean acts indifferent and jaded to their current reality. Sam wants back in. Dean gives Sam his sob story of how they don’t work together - they’re weaker when they’re together; they’re better off apart. He says goodbye to his brother, and any hope of stopping the apocalypse.

The next morning, Dean awakens to a spring mattress under him, no cell coverage, and an eerily empty post-apocalyptic world.

Dean wanders the streets which are dirty, derelict, and devoid of humans. In an alleyway, he finds a little girl and asks, “Are you hurt?”

She’s hurt, but more like hurt in the brain hurt, and she lunges at Dean like a rabid zombie. Dean punches the little girl (and we cheered.) It’s only then that he sees the words “Croatoan” spray painted on a wall.

Just then the local Croatoan street gang makes an appearance. Dean takes off with them in hot pursuit. Dean runs into a fence, his fate seemingly sealed, but unknown forces appear and open gunfire, blasting “Do You Love Me”. (I love this moment - it’s disjointed but so perfect. Dean is completely clueless at this point -- we we are as well. The music and bullets set this odd tone of military bravado in a topsy-turvy world.) Dean escapes through the fence and sees a quarantine sign:

It’s so weird to think that this episode is 3 years in the past! This show! May it last forever!

Dean hotwires a car and as he’s traveling down the road, Zachariah joins him for a little tête-à-tête. Zach gives Dean the low down on the state of the world in 2014 (not as bad as 2017, amirite?). He also tells Dean he’s going to make him marinate in this hellish nightmare for 3 days. He’s going to learn why he needs to say ‘yes’ to Michael.

Dean heads to Bobby’s. It’s dark and deserted, and he finds Bobby’s wheelchair with bullet holes. He jimmies open the fireplace safe and finds a picture of a group of men - Bobby and Cas included - at a Camp Chitaqua. Dean makes it to camp in the blink of a commercial break, and quickly sees the rusted shell of the Impala. “Oh, Baby, no.” He walks to the third lead inanimate object that drove him from point A to point B, and is knocked out from behind - by himself! Dun-dun-dun!

Dean comes to, chained to a post, with Future!Dean watching him, gun trained on him.

Future!Dean wants an explanation - Dean tells him that Zachariah sent him 5 years into the future. Future!Dean demands our Dean to tell him something only he would know. Dean confesses his time with Rhonda Hurley and her infamous pink, satiny panties. Like, this is possibly the most intimate thing we will ever know about Dean. Much has been made of this moment from us, but at this time, between the two Deans, Future!Dean now knows he’s dealing with himself, and all that comes with it. He tells Dean about the spread of the Croatoan virus, and how the world fell apart once the virus spread two years prior. And he tells Dean, “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn’t make it.” They hadn’t talked in 5 years.

Future!Dean needs to make a Target run, so Dean is going to stay nice and hidden away from the gen pop at Camp Chitaqua. Future!Dean should know himself better, as Dean works himself free with minimal effort.

As a newly free Dean wanders the camp, Chuck finds who he thinks is the camp leader and informs Dean of the camp’s dwindling toilet paper supply, and ponders what they should do before wondering if Dean is supposed to be on a mission. Dean gets to dodge that tricky question, but doesn’t dodge a blow from Risa. It appears he spent the night with Jane, despite his “connection” with Risa. And apropos of nothing, Dean asks if Cas is around. Interesting segue, Dean. Chuck will never guess your train of thought because they all know of your “connection” with Cas already.

Dean heads to Cas’s cabin and finds End!Cas in all his drug fueled, hippy-dippy, orgy-leading, non-labelled beauty. I’m hard pressed to choose a favorite version of Cas, but this is the version I find most interesting. Dean’s a bit nonplussed.

Cas picks up that Dean isn’t the Dean from his time (How does he do that if he’s human now. Insert <we just don’t know gif>) Dean asks for his angelic help, but Cas laughs. “What are you, stoned?” Dean wonders.

“Generally, yeah.” Oh Endverse!Cas, never change.

Future!Dean and his errand crew make it back to camp. They break open the celebratory brewskies (ok, there’s still beer in End!verse? How bad can it be?) Future!Dean then pops a bullet in his fellow comrade’s head before Dean’s warning can prevent it. The others in the crew now see two Deans and Future!Dean admits, “it’s a pretty messed up situation we got going.” (I love the meta on this statement being about Dean and Cas. I mean, the camera does pan and focus on Cas after all.)

Dean and Future!Dean face off in the privacy of the meeting cabin. Future!Dean reveals that Yeager was infected with the Croatoan virus and he’d just performed a mercy killing. In fact, Future!Dean contends, his men were probably more freaked out by the Dean double than by Yeager’s death.

Dean apologizes for interfering in his leadership of the camp and they share a drink while Future!Dean reveals details about the mission they’d just been on. He pulls out the Colt from his duffel bag. After five years of searching, he’s finally ready to kill the Devil.

In the planning cabin the head honchos (Future!Dean, Risa, and Castiel) confer about the attack plan. They’re going to bust into Lucifer’s compound and kill him. Risa is particularly snippy and Future!Dean asks if everything’s okay. Dean helpfully says, “We were in Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.”

Yeah.

Future!Dean pushes the attack plan because he knows the whereabouts of Lucifer. He tortured it out of a demon just last week.

Classic Dialogue Alert

Cas: Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.

Dean: Torture? Oh, so, we're torturing again. No, that's good. Classy.

Cas: [laughs]

Future!Dean: [bitchface]

Cas: What? I like past you.

Oh, you guys. This. Scene. People have written hundreds of thousands of words about Castiel’s familiar sass, and Future!Dean’s harsh despair. Fans have wallowed in the agony of Dean’s fall into darkness and Castiel following him - always following him. Cas may be bitter and damaged but he’s still loyally fighting, regardless. Excuse me. I need to go lie down.

Risa and Castiel head off to assemble the assault team while Dean stays behind with Future!Dean. Dean wants to know why he’s going on the offensive with the team. What if he’s killed? Won’t that kill future him too? Future!Dean believes Zachariah is going to protect him and, under pressure, tells Dean about Sam.

“Sam? I thought he was dead,” Dean says.

“Sam didn’t die in Detroit. He said yes.” Future!Dean drops the truth bomb with a snarl. “You need to see it. The whole damn thing so you can do it different.” And Future!Dean’s proposal? Say “yes” to Michael as soon as Dean gets home. He didn’t say yes to Michael, confident that he’d find a better way. But once the world started going to shit and he tried to say yes he discovered that the angels had retreated back to Heaven and humanity was on their own. He begs Dean to learn from his mistakes and say yes. “But you won’t,” he concludes in despair. “‘Cause I didn’t.”

(“There is no free will,” I weep from my pool of tears on the floor.)

Cut to Dean heading toward the trucks alongside Chuck. Chuck advises Dean to hoard toilet paper like it’s gold. This is always the part of The End I have trouble with now because with Season 11 canon layered on top of it, we have God just hanging out at Camp Chitaqua. He might as well be propped up on a chair eating out of a bag of popcorn and watching the fireworks at the end of the world. It always makes me hate Chuck a little bit, whereas before the God revelation he was considerably more sympathetic to me. I suppose I rewatch and mourn the loss of that neurotic, mostly innocent pulp writer. I do like to think that Chuck’s presence might be what kept Camp Chitaqua a safe haven for so many years. They assumed they were lucky but Chuck was doing a little under-the-table god magic in order to live a more comfortable life. (Natasha: Kicks Chuck in the shins anyway.)

Dean drives with Cas to Lucifer’s compound. Cas pops amphetamines and offers some to Dean. “It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe,” he says.

Uh...Dean would really like to know why Cas is suddenly a drug-saturated hippy. Cas tells him that he went mortal. When the angels left Earth and sealed themselves into Heaven his mojo just drained away.

Cas: I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months.

Dean: So, you're human. Well, welcome to the club.

Cas: Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's just how I roll.

BRB. Just going to be curled up here on the floor for a while, processing and mentally wrapping Cas in a blanket.

Future!Dean lays out the plan. They’re going to storm the facility and shoot the Devil. So...it’s pretty straightforward.

For science

Dean pulls Future!Dean aside and calls him out on the plan beneath the plan. It turns out that most of the team are heading through the front door to kill demons in a big ambush but Dean and Future!Dean are going to sneak around the back to get the jump on Lucifer. Dean’s horrified at this. Is Future!Dean really going to sacrifice his friends so callously? And CAS? Yes, yes he is. Future!Dean bops Dean unconscious before he can tell everyone they’re signed up to be sacrificial lambs.

Dean wakes to the stutter of distant gunfire in the compound. He runs up and sees muzzle flashes in the windows. Dean rounds a corner and finds his future self in a rose garden. Future!Dean lies on the ground, the Colt just out of reach, and Lucifer’s foot on his neck. As Dean watches, Lucifer (in Sam’s body) snaps Future!Dean’s neck.

Dean’s defiant.

Dean: Go ahead. Kill me.

Lucifer: Kill you? Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?

Samifer apologizes for skeeving out Dean by speaking to him in Sam’s shape. Dean gives Samifer his best bitchface.

Lucifer seems to take offense at Dean’s low opinion of his devilish plan. He’s got a mission, after all.

Lucifer: You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created you. The little hairless apes.

Dean: You’re the same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.

Dean tells Samifer that he’d better kill him now, in the future, because if he ever gets back to his own time then he’ll find a way to kill him.

Lucifer is unbothered by Dean’s vow to kill him. “Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here.” Dean doesn’t want to believe it but a single man tear is still threatening to slip down his face.

Zachariah zaps Dean back to the past just in time. He corners Dean in his motel room and strongly encourages him to say yes to Michael. When Dean still hesitates, he threatens grave injury to Dean once again.

Dean still says no because he is our precious, sweet, strong bean. He learned a lesson from Zachariah’s little future peek...just not the lesson Zach wanted to impart.

Just when Zachariah is closing in, Cas zaps Dean to meet him by the side of the road. They had an appointment, after all.

Under the shelter of Castiel’s gaze, Dean calls Sam and invites him to meet. At their meeting behind some secluded railroad tracks, Dean offers Sam the demon blade and a spot in the Impala once again. He apologizes and admits that he was wrong to push Sam away. “Maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.”

Sam thanks him and the brothers vow to deny the dark future Zachariah projected and make their own future.

Natasha: Lifts head from floor and wipes tears from face. “Good episode, guys. Good episode.”

The Quotes

You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped.

I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.

Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.

I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap.

Why not go get washed up for the orgy?

I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.

Not gonna lie to you. Me and him? Pretty messed up situation we got going.

You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it is.

Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe.

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 5x04 #the end #dean winchester #castiel #endverse!cas #endverse!dean #sam winchester #lucifer #samifer #cas #zachariah #chuck #supernatural season 5 #he was my ben edlund thing

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