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mrsaltieri-real · 4 months

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First Love, Familiar Love (Billy Loomis x Fem!AFAB!Reader)

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: language, smut, oral, (fem receiving) fingering, p in v, creampie, cheating, (kinda) first love, semi-public sex, light dirty talk, pre-established toxic relationship.

A/N: I’m so happy to have (finally) written my first full length Billy Loomis fic! I’ve done a lot of Ethan and a fuck ton of Mickey, how dare I have taken so long to write for the fine as fuck OG! Going to dabble in some poly!Ghostface soon which I’m very excited about but for now, sit back, relax and I hope you enjoy!

@darklylucid I have a feeling your Billy loving self will get a kick outta this for sure ;)

You’d never given much thought to relationships since your last. The thought of never having another first filled you with an undeniable sense of unease. No more first kisses, first date, first fuck, what was the point?

Why commit yourself to a long life of repetition when you could simply carry on having firsts? Especially when you couldn’t have the person you’d already had your firsts with anymore.

Billy was someone you hadn’t paid much attention to, not since the two of you had ended your very brief yet even more intense relationship a few years back.

The two of you were young, stupid and each other's firsts. It wasn’t a healthy relationship by any means, and it ended as such. Even though you knew it was definitely for the best, you knew there was a part of you that didn’t think it was over. Not yet.

He was hot, undoubtedly having grown into himself over the years when you’d stopped paying attention, but he had also grown more serious. He constantly looked like he was deep in thought, gnawing on the tip of his pen in class whilst clearly not paying attention on the few occasions you’d find your eyes drifting over to him, seeing him completely lost in his own mind.

You didn’t run in the same social circle anymore, inside of school or out. Although that being the case, your friend and colleague at the video store, Randy most certainly did.

It never made much sense as to why Randy would hang around with the likes of Billy Loomis. Other than their shared affiliation of horror movies, they seemed to merely tolerate each other, if that. You were met with the angry rambling of what Billy had done that day from Randy, listening to the boy curse about how much of an asshole he was.

How could you possibly begin to forget about Billy when he was brought up practically all of the time?

“If he’s so much of an asshole, stop hanging out with the guy.” You’d suggested after a particularly long rant from Randy about him, mindlessly drumming your fingers on the counter.

Randy scoffed, pulling the red vine he was chewing on out of his mouth before replying, “I’ve been friends with the rest of them for years, I’m not just gonna stop hanging out with them because Billy Loomis is a fucking asshole.”

You rolled your eyes, sarcastically holding up your hands in surrender. “Fine, fine, whatever. You go home and chill the hell out, I’ll close up.”

Randy hopped down from the register, patting you on the shoulder as you said goodbye.

Being here by yourself was always better anyway. You liked to clean and organize, finding order in the never ending chaos, but it never surprised you just how messy the store would get by the time closing rolled around. The popcorn machine Randy had recommended to the manager like an idiot needed a thorough deep cleaning, kernels were scattered everywhere, tapes were placed in the wrong section, some of them somehow seemed to be missing altogether.

Fucking mahem.

You heard the tingling of the bell above the door as it swung open. “Sorry, we’re closed,” you called out, not bothering to look up from your sweeping.

The door clicked closed quietly and you briefly paused before glancing up.

Billy stood leaning against the counter, his fingers drumming lightly against the withered old wood. He was quite clearly relishing in your confused expression as you looked back at him with cautious eyes.

“Hey… Billy.” You said, eyeing him briefly. “Randy’s gone home.”

“Oh, I know. I was waiting for him to leave.” Billy picked up a tape that was laying beside him, flipping it over to read the cover.

Your confusion and curiosity continued to grow, but it turned into annoyance when you realised you’d actually have to continue to talk to him.

“That’s kinda creepy.” You muttered, letting the broom rest against a glass case. “We’re closed.” You said again, pointing at the clock.

He didn’t look at it, his eyes flickering up from the case to favour resting on you instead.

“Are you fucking him?”

You looked at him, eyebrows arching a fraction. “Am I fucking who?”

“Randy.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that burst through your lips, shaking your head in disbelief as you grabbed the broom again. You’d forgotten the fucking nerve of this guy. “Go home, Billy.”

You heard the clatter of the tape hit the counter as he began to stride toward you. “So, you are?”

“Yeah, I’m not dignifying that with a response.” He stopped about a foot away, his hand resting on the freshly cleaned glass display with all the rare tapes. “Can you, like, not? I just cleaned that.” You sighed, stepping forward to slap his hand away.

He didn’t move as you did so, seeming to find your reaction more funny than anything. “You haven’t changed much.” He commented, bringing his free hand up to swipe some loose hair out of his face.

You ignored his comment, looking up at him and feeling nothing but irritation. “Billy, what do you want, seriously? Because the sooner I clean up here, the sooner I can go home.”

Billy shrugged, drumming his fingers against the glass. “I don’t know, I was walking home, saw Randy leave, noticed you were by yourself. Thought you’d appreciate the company.”

“Mmhm. Sure.” You sighed, moving to step around him and deciding to just act like he wasn’t there. That’s when it hit you, the all too familiar scent of his cologne. It smelled exactly like the one you’d gotten him for his birthday a couple of years back. The smell rekindled the brief yet fond memories you’d had with him and it made your heart skip a beat.

Billy had noticed your pause and his face turned from indifferent to slightly concerned. He said your name, tilting his head down to look at you.

You looked up at him, blinking a few times before shaking your head. “Go home, Billy.” You said again, though your voice wasn’t anywhere near as confident.

“I miss you.”

Those three words made you flinch, your grip on the handle of the broom tightening. You didn’t want him to miss you, you didn’t want him to be thinking about you. Didn’t he have a girlfriend now?

I asked him as much and he half smiled, shaking his head. “Sidney? Nah, I’m seeing her, sure, but it’s not… like that.”

“Oh, so your girlfriend isn’t putting out so you thought you’d pop along and see if I would?” Billy seemed to ignore you, his eyes trailing across your body. You felt your cheeks heat up as he did, those annoyingly magnetic brown eyes felt like they were boring straight into your damn soul.

“No, like I said I was walking home and saw you by yourself.” His smile grew a touch, watching your face for any kind of reaction.

Liar. But why did you find yourself falling for it?

“I’m not fucking Randy.” You said quietly. He finally looked into your eyes, the half smile turning into a grin. “Oh, I know. But I needed to try and start a conversation with you somehow, didn’t I?“

You caught yourself smiling as you shook your head. “Asshole.”

Billy chuckled as he brought up his hand, letting his fingers glide across your cheekbone. “Missed you.” He said again, his voice much softer this time without a hint of teasing.

Why were you falling for this crap? Was it because he was your first? First fucking everything? Probably. But you caught yourself not caring as you leaned into his warm touch, letting the familiarity wash over you entirely.

“Missed you.” You echoed softly.

His smell was intoxicating, familiar. Who cares if you’d hardly spoken to him in years? Who cares that it took you this long to get over him entirely.

His lips touched yours before you finished your train of thought. Comfortable. Familiar. You felt yourself melt into it, your fingers curling around the soft material of his plaid shirt as you pulled yourself closer to him, his thumb still gently grazing your cheek.

Fuck, he’d missed you. How your lips tasted, how your breath would quiver and shake every time he was close to you. He couldn’t remember why he was ever stupid enough to let you go entirely.

Before he and Stu put their plan into motion, he knew he had to do this, he had to be with you at least once more time. Taste you, touch you, feel you. Because once he was “serious” with Sidney, he wouldn’t be able to lead you on like that. Not you, you were always his.

His kiss turned more possessive than gentle, his hands sliding down to your waist and under your shirt, his blunt fingers digging into your soft, bare skin. He felt your breathing hitch against him as he pulled your body impossibly closer to his, letting you feel him hardening against you.

It wasn’t long before he’d picked you up and placed you on the glass, hoisting your skirt around your waist and carefully pulling your baby pink panties down your legs, letting his fingers brush your inner thigh as he did.

“Fuck, look how fucking wet you are for me.” He groaned, sliding his finger between your velvety folds to collect the moisture before he brought it to his lips. You were pathetically oversensitive, your cunt clenching around nothing the moment he touched you.

He liked that, he’d forgotten how needy you were, how much your body reacted to the slightest of advances. He couldn’t help but smile as he continued to tease, fingers grazing your sensitive skin, barely even touching you.

It dawned on you how long it had been since you’d been touched like this, and you craved more.

“Please, Billy.” You whined, beginning to grow uncomfortable with the lack of stimulation.

For once, he didn’t need much prompting.

His mouth latched onto your aching clit, sucking at it hungrily and growing at your familiar taste he’d missed so much. His hands pushed your legs further apart for better access, feeling how you throbbed against his mouth. Your hands automatically fell into his soft hair, biting your bottom lip as you tugged at it, your head falling back.

He’d been good with his mouth before, but he’d definitely gotten better. His skilled tongue flicked over your clit, one of his hands moving from your thigh to plunge two fingers inside of your cunt as he continued to lick and suck.

“Oh!” You groaned out, fingers tightening in his hair as you pulled his face impossibly closer to you. He curled up his fingers in response, pressing against the spongy tissue and making your body jerk in response. He knew your body far too well, and had clearly never forgotten how to make you respond to him.

He didn’t want you to cum, not yet. He pulled away all too soon, smiling as he saw the all too familiar mixture of turned on and pissed off gracing your features. He straightened up, his hand moving to grip the base of your hair tightly, making you look up into his brown eyes.

“Do you want it?” He asked, voice smooth and even as ever. All you could do was faintly whisper “yes” in response. That’s all he needed.

Billy didn’t drop his eyes from yours as he smoothly unbuckled his belt, pulling it off and discarding it thoughtlessly, his pants coming down shortly after, but only part way down his ass. He just didn’t want to waste any time.

One of his hands dropped to your waist, the other pumped his cock a few times before nestling the tip at the entrance of your aching cunt. You whined softly, wriggling a little only to be grounded by his large hand before he pushed himself inside of your soaked hole.

You couldn’t help the gasp as he filled you, suddenly feeling deliciously full. Familiarly full. He seemed to feel it too, a soft groan in your ear as he pulled you closer to him by your hips.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this cunt so much.” He sighed into your hair, savouring the feeling of your cunt engulfing him for the first time in years. You were growing more and more impatient, needing movement and friction and he chuckled at you desperate movements from under his grounding hands. “I forgot how impatient you are.”

“Billy, just… Fuck me for God’s sake.” You’d meant for it to come out as an order, but it came out as a plea. He chuckled again, slowly rolling his hips back just to snap the forward again sharply, the sensation making you jolt and sigh into his shoulder.

“So bossy, aren’t you, sweetheart? Some things never change, hm?”

You ignore his teasing voice, your focus entirely surrounding how good his cock made you feel so fucking effortlessly. He hardly even had to try and here you were, already a leaking mess for him.

He held you more securely, one of his hands firmly pressing against the small of your back whilst the other swiftly tucked under your knee, holding your leg more securely around his waist as he fucked you.

He knew your body better than you did, he knew what drove you wild. The kisses he scattered across your neck and down your collarbone drove you insane. The way his fingers would dig into your skin, his breathing in your ear, the filth he was whispering to you…

“Fuck, Billy please don’t stop.” You begged him, pushing yourself down against him greedily, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He continued fucking your on the glass display case as he laughed out, “Think I’m gonna? No fucking way. Been thinking about getting back into this cunt for far too long.”

His words made you moan louder, your fingers clinging to his bicep, nails digging into the toned muscle harshly. He let out something akin to a growl, his own fingers digging into your soft skin hard enough to undoubtedly leave bruises in their wake.

He fucked you in a way you feared only her was able to, slamming into your convulsing pussy vigorously, ruthlessly. Your head fell back, eyes beginning to roll as you felt yourself being dragged closer and closer to the edge. Your clit bumped against him with every thrust, the stimulation only making you feel weaker and weaker. He watched your face, the look of pure ecstasy only making him more and more desperate to cum. No way he was about to pull out.

“Billy… Close…” You managed to utter out. In the past, that was his cue to prepare to pull out. But right now? Fuck that. He held you tighter, his fingers sliding from your hip to your clit to drag circles across it, feeling your cunt tense around him as he did.

“Do it.” He said, his own voice a little breathless.

You couldn’t think, could only focus on how fucking good he was making you feel. Your body stuff ended for a second before you came on his cock, your head falling forward onto his shoulder as you heard him let out a loud groan and a second later, his hot cum filling up your still convulsing pussy. But you didn’t care. Your body remained flush against his for a couple of seconds, soaking in the feeling of his cum filling you up so deliciously.

He gradually softened, pulling himself out of your stuffed cunt and casually pulling his pants back up before grabbing his belt.

You remained sitting on the glass case, Billy’s spunk mixed with your own wetness leaking out of you and making a mess of the glass. He couldn’t help but smile, shrugging once.

“Well, shit, you’ve got more of a cleanup to do now, my bad.”

You rolled your eyes at him, waiting for your thighs to stop trembling before jumping down from the display case and grabbing your panties, about to pull them back on before they were snatched out of your hand.

“What are you-“

“I think I should keep them. As a memento, you know?” He interrupted, the stupid smile that got you back into this situation illuminating his pretty face.

“Oh, right. Forgot how much you like to steal my underwear. Weirdo.” You muttered, squirming a little at the feeling of Billy’s cum leaking out of you onto your inner thighs.

Billy watched you squirm for a moment, the smile never faltering. “Mm. You know, I wish I’d cum inside you before. I like seeing you like this.”

You scoffed at him, shaking your head. “I have to clean up.” You said pointedly.

Billy raised an eyebrow a fraction, eyes flickering down toward your stained thighs.

“You’re telling me.”

#ahhh my first billy loomis fic #he’s been on my mind none stop #so here it is!#I’m so happy to finally have him officially on the roster #pretty angel #hope you enjoy!#scream #billy loomis smut #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader

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btsyeonu · 6 months

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👣. !!: VLIVE: THE EIGHT PRINCES ‧₊˚

↺ 💌 ࣪ ˖ ∿ author’s note , @ i saw a clip of this vlive in my twt bookmarks recently while i was scrolling through and i knew i just had to make a chapter about it bc it’s so cute 😭

The live starts with Taehyung casually sat upon a couch accompanied by Seokjin. The camera is set to portrait mode, but the video is landscape.

JIN: “Oh, we’re on, we’re on.” *excited*

V: “No, not yet.”

JIN: “No, we’re on!”

V: “No one’s come in yet though.” *talking about viewers + waiting*

JIN & V: “Oh, five viewers!” *happy boys + tae proceeds to make silly faces*

JIN: “Hello~” *being polite*

Taehyung messes around with the camera angle before both him and Jin begin eyeing someone off screen. Hoseok soon joins the live.

V & J-HOPE: “YEAHHHHHH!” *hyper mfers lol*

JIMIN: *also joining the live now* “YEAHHHHHH!” *checking himself out on camera*

J-HOPE: “Our concert is over.”

JIN: “Concert finished.”

JIMIN: “I am the prince of Busan~”

V: “I am the prince of Daegu~”

JIN: “I am the prince of Gwacheon~”

J-HOPE: “I am the prince of Gwangju~”

V: *after bringing the camera back to focus on him* “I am Geochang-” *literally rambling*

JIN & J-HOPE: “What’s that…”

JIN: “That’s too much.”

JIMIN: *bringing the attention to him* “Hello!”

YEONIX: *off camera* “What’s going on? Are they filming something?” *asking someone*

V: “Yah yah yah, Yeonu-ah, come here, come here!” *excited boy again*

JIMIN: “Oh~ it’s the Daejeon boy.”

YEONIX: *approaching the others + fixing his hair through his appearance on the camera* “Why, why?”

JIN, J-HOPE, V & JIMIN: “You are the prince of Daejeon~”*chaotic laughter ensues*

YEONIX: *smiling wide* “Ah, this is what you’ve been doing? Where’s my crown?”

JIMIN: “You can have Taehyungie’s.” *legit just grabbing tae’s headband and placing it on yeonu’s head*

JIN: “Yah, look at our dashing Daejeon prince.” *grabbing the camera to show a better close up of yeonu adjusting the headband on his head* “So handsome. Where’s-”

JIMIN: “Ah, the Daegu hyung is coming.” *alerting the others + grabbing the camera to show yoongi*

JIN, J-HOPE, V, JIMIN & YEONIX: “You are the prince of Daegu~” *more chaotic laughter ensues*

JIN: “Yah, where’s Ilsan’s prince?”

V: “The prince of Ilsan isn’t here.” *getting up + camera turns to now present jeongguk*

BTS: “You are the prince of Busan~”

V: “The prince of Busan~!” *sitting next to jk*

YEONIX: “Prince of Busan, look at your fans.” *sitting on jk’s other side + shaking him*

JUNGKOOK: *proceeds to break into song + screeching…? idk fr as the rest of the members laugh*

J-HOPE: *to the fans* “Love you!” *making a heart*

V: “We’re missing one person right now.”

YEONIX: “Aish, wait. He’s probably gotten lost again.” *leaving to go check on joon and bring him back*

JIN: “Ah, where could the prince of Ilsan have gone?”

J-HOPE: “The prince of Ilsan isn’t here.”

SUGA: “He went to Ilsan.”

JIMIN: *can hear him from afar* “Ah, the prince of Ilsan! You are the prince of Ilsan~”

JIMIN: *bringing the camera back to face him + pushing hair back* “I’m the prince of BTS~”

A minute later, Yeonu is pushing Namjoon into the room from behind. He’s kind of invisible because of the older’s huge stature until his head pokes out with a grin.

V: “Oh, hyung’s here!”

BTS: “The prince of Ilsan, the prince of Ilsan!”

V: “All right, the prince of Ilsan. It’s a live broadcast!” *covering the screen for a sec*

YEONIX: “This is our best visual.”

JIMIN: “BTS’ greatest supermodel.”

JIN: “Three… two… one…” *tae takes his finger off of the camera to reveal joon*

RM: “Ah, what? How does this work?”

BTS: “You are the prince of Ilsan~!”

RM: “How could you forget the most princely person?”

V: *bringing the camera back to face him after all the chaos*

JUNGKOOK: “Wait, wait. I have something to say!”

SUGA: “Ah, my neck hurts.”

JUNGKOOK: *pt.2 of his lil song fest that everyone joins in with*

J-HOPE: “Let’s greet them again. We’re going to Korea now!”

V: *angling the camera so everyone is in frame as they all wave goodbye* “We’re finished.”

RM: “The song for Fantastic Four comes out on the 4th. Please listen to it for sure!”

BTS: “Goodbye~!”

JIN: *in the background* “The prince of Gwacheon!”

YEONIX: “The prince of Daejeon!”

V: “Oh, how do I do this? How do I turn it off?”

A few seconds later, the vlive ends.

💬 — YEONU’S TAGLIST.

@anqelws , @vizianary , @kaitieskidmore97 , @sann1e

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elvenbeard · 11 months

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Somewhere in Manila, 2078

“It is pretty nice here,” V said, and Kerry put his arm around him, pulling him a bit closer as he turned his head to look at him.

“C’mon, just ‘pretty nice’?” he asked grinning.

“Okay, it’s beautiful, breathtaking, astounding!” V said and Kerry chuckled, “You weren’t exaggerating.”

“And this is just the hotel! Wait ‘til you see the city. And the beaches! But we gotta drive a little to get to the better ones. Nothin’ beats the one in Tangalan anyway, but that’ll have to wait 'til next week…”

Kerry went on rambling about all they had planned, everything he wanted to show V, parties and events they could go to, the secret spots only he and maybe a handful of other people knew. Some of it all sounded quite adventurous, and V still struggled to imagine Kerry clambering through the jungle to get to some of these extra special hidden gems. But his excitement was downright infectious. Truly just adorable. V was relieved to see Kerry so genuinely happy again, too, the stress of the last weeks really had been weighing him down. Getting ready for this trip in the background had been his sole motivator for staying on top of the mountain of promo events for his album.

Just three more interviews before we can get on the plane. Just this one photoshoot, and then I can finally start packing my stuff. That one private show, that one industry party, that one red carpet, and then Lee can kiss my ass and we’ll fuck off across the Pacific.

Being here now finally, chilling at the hotel bar and recovering from the long flight, still felt somewhat surreal.

“… - and we really gotta go to Quinta Market later. Gonna cure your resentment to street food there once and for all.”

Kerry took a sip of his drink, then looked back at V, who had been watching him the whole time, a little tired and absentmindedly, but full of affection.

“What?” he asked, frowning slightly, but kept up his smile, the silver lines around his eyes and down his cheeks sparkling in the setting sun.

“Nothin’,” V said, “I’m happy you’re happy to be back here, is all.”

Kerry leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

“I’m happy you’re here with me,” he said, “That’s all that matters.”

AAAAHHH. A little bit of behind the scenes rambling here!!!

I didn't forget to take a pic of my setup at least this time XD I set this up at Denny's pool (free of concrete thankfully), because there is little distracting Night City scenery in the background that would destroy the illusion of this not being Night City xD But admittedly, the setup was a little rushed bc I just wanted to do some fluffy pics. I could actually spend hours setting up my scenes with all the awesome props I keep discovering o.o

Also: I had Kerry's summer vibes outfit ready since early June, but just didn't get around to doing anything with it until two weeks ago, AND THEN I didn't have time to edit the pics because other stuff kept grabbing my attention instead xD

But there is more to come, I have a whole lot more summer pics ready, all incredibly fluffy... because I need some fluff and knowing they have this in their future waiting for them, while on the side I'm writing the most angsty fic with constant dread and setbacks and death looming on the horizon, you know XD

Dad Shirts by @pinkyjulien 💛 I love them so much, I want Kerry's shirt for myself irl, it's my fave of the tropical recolors, the colors and pattern are so nice... and suit him so well imo!!

Also this is totally the follow up to the road trip pics I posted last week. They drove to L.A., spent a day or two there, and then hopped on the plane to Manila xD

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk kerry #cyberpunk v #male v cyberpunk #kerry eurodyne #vincent ezaki #kerry eurodyne x v #otp: to bad decisions #shippy saturday #cyberpunk vp #cyberpunk fanfic #cyberpunk 2077 fanfic #virtual photography #my writing #my vp

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revenantghost · 1 year

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Hey! So i must i adore you analysis on Wolfwood as you compared his story beats to maximum and how they got changed, something that I dont really see people commenting on

I must say however, do you think vash and wolfwood are bound to have the same kind of relationship they had in trimax? I adore stampede like crazy and was enjoying it so much until around ep 10/11 where it got cleared they were very much going a seemingly different route than what we thought. And to be honest the moment i saw they pumped Knives and Vash dynamic like crazy got me thinking tristamp will be completely about them and not also Vash and WW/others (which i think is as important as K and V for trigun to work out) or tristamp will be mostly Vash and Knives and WW and Livio.

You seek to have a super optimistic (lol) look for s2 and beyond so i wonder if you think (either by beats laid out by tristamp, maybe i am too blind or pessimistic to realize them) there may be something similar to vash and wolfwood’s relationship in trimax???

Oh man, thank you so much!!! I’m honestly so happy that people even read that rambling because it’s been driving me absolutely bonkers. (I’m just gonna link that post here in case anyone’s interested)

But tl;dr: I think that it’ll be similar! Honestly, I think the Vash and Wolfwood dynamics have to be similar, because that’s such an integral part of Trimax. I jokingly called it the Vash and Wolfwood show to a friend when I started reading it—and yeah, that sums up a lot. Though I REALLY see your worries about this. I think we got a much heavier dose of Vash and Knives to really make the stakes super personal, but I have a feeling Knives will fall into the more distant role he takes in Trimax because, as he says, Nai is dead. Long live Knives.

Tristamp season one is a prologue, confirmed by the team very purposefully calling the continuing work the final phase despite saying the sky is the limit on future content depending on fan support. It speed ran a lot of stuff, and I think that was knowingly done because the staff has stated multiple times that they needed everything to be as perfect as possible, but they didn’t know how it would do. I don't even know if they thought they could do a second season. Trigun has historically not been popular outside of the cult following ’98 had in the west—Trimax was just an afterthought that many fans hadn’t read before Tristamp grabbed us all by the throats.

To touch on the other relationships, I like that Tristamp is that it's already expanding on characters that I felt could have spent more time in the spotlight. Like, I'm very eager to see where they take the girls! Because Meryl’s falling into the same role but with a vastly different career in this, and she’s already way more present . Why are they following Vash? How present will the girls be? MILLY!!! With Meryl ripping down Vash’s wanted poster at the end of season one, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s her mission to clear Vash’s name, and hijinks ensue. She already has deeper ties to Wolfwood than any other version before, which makes both of them stronger for it. I’m nervous to see how this all plays out because change scares me and I love this story so much lmao, but I do think it’s good! I already went off about how I love how important Meryl already is in the story, she’s a foil to Vash and the faith in himself he never had, and I feel like that only strengthens and reflects against the foils Vash and Wolfwood have going on. And Milly! I’m so excited to see where they go with her.

But this does change everything with Wolfwood. I keep thinking that Tristamp has changed Wolfwood fundamentally and keep needing to go back and rewatch because he is Wolfwood. He’s younger and rougher around the edges, but he’s still that moron I know and love. (Sometimes I’ll be reading fic and I don’t even realize that the person’s only seen Tristamp because they just get him and the dynamic right—Orange is doing a good job even if it scares me deeply lol)

I do have complete faith that they need to and will let Vash and Wolfwood’s dynamic shine just as brightly as it does in Trimax. I think, actually, a lot of that comes from outside of the text, though I could probably do another rewatch to pick up on all the loose threads they’re laying down to grow Wolfwood’s character and his dynamic with Vash in particular.

First, a new bit of info I saw recently is that the director, Kenji Muto? Apparently hasn’t even seen ’98, or at least hadn’t seen it as of making season one. Of course there are other writers on staff, and the crew has admitted to being huge Trigun nerds, but if your only exposure to Trigun is Trimax??? Wolfwood is massively important to Vash. Doing that dirty would be greatest sin you could make against this franchise.

Second, Nightow is so involved in creating this. He was involved way before most manga authors are brought in on anime, and even said that pretty early on he basically gave it his blessing and said that they got Trigun. (Though he still approved everything from then on as well.) And Wolfwood and his story arc in Trimax is so powerful and so moving. Nightow obviously had some significant investment and emotion in it, in Wolfowod and Vash’s relationship and journey. Like, I cry at things sometimes, generally just ooze tears, but Nightow and this damn manga made me sob. I can’t imagine he would tell the crew they understood Trigun without Wolfwood’s character and his ties to Vash being a priority. I know typically Japanese creators won’t throw shade at adaptations like we see in Western realms, but I rarely see the level of enthusiasm Nightow has for this project.

Okay, because this is getting long, and I’m getting into Trimax spoilers next, putting this next bit under a cut, continue at your own risk.

It’s actually funny, because for the end of that Wolfwood post, before I started my rewatch for it, I originally had a pretty specific prediction about what would happen. Then the ‘sky’s the limit’ on future content came out, and idk what to expect. I thought that the next season was going to be the Vash and Wolfwood show ala Trimax, we were going to fall in love with Wolfwood, and we were gonna have him couched at the end of that season. Because the couch is so essential, it’s so critical, but my god do I want this man to survive the narrative, if only once, and have it mean just as much. (Can you tell I’m torn on this every second of every day of my entire life) And after writing up that whole post I’m even more confused because I have no idea where the fuck they’re taking him. But at the same time, we have major plot threads tying us to that scene so much earlier. The vials existing way earlier, Livio and Razlo being introduced, that line about grieving but still deserving to smile and eat that Wolfwood gives Vash in the episode he’s introduced??? We're making everything more coherent and tied together, and fuck, we're screwed.

For now, all I’ve got is that I think some shit is going to happen to Wolfwood during our two-year time skip, maybe something with Chapel, idk how they’re going to inevitably use Livio against us, but we saw a softer Wolfwood in Tristamp. He needs to harden to be who we know. Orange said they’re going to be more like their other selves here, and though Wolfwood already has some faith in Vash, but he does not have faith in humanity. That’s the growth we have yet to see, and that’s what is really at the core of their relationship and development. It’s still there.

Many people who read Trimax are absolutely gutted and wrecked by the couch. That defines a lot of readers’ experiences—Wolfwood’s character arc is an absolute masterclass in writing a satisfying and meaningful conclusion for a character. So for them to change this much about someone who is that important, they have to have a plan, and a damn good one for Nightow to sign off on it. I’ve seen folks talk about how apparently the team spent the most time working on Knives, Vash, and Wolfwood’s characters (this one I haven't seen a source for), but as you said, we can already see it in the brothers’ relationship. They have a plan for Wolfwood. It’s only a matter of time before we’re wrecked by it.

Yeah, they are gonna keep doing stuff that you or I won’t agree with, or that we think could be better. Every version of Trigun is pretty flawed in certain ways imo, even though it might be beautiful or a favorite piece of media. But all of the concerns of mine that Orange could answer in the first season, they did so with flying colors and blew me out of the water. So don’t get me wrong, I’m scared. I’m so fucking terrified. Both Vash and Wolfwood are my favorite characters in Trigun in such different, integral ways to me. I love them deeply. And Orange is changing so much.

But Orange adores Trimax as much as I do. Nightow is 500% on board. So I’m biting my nails about it, but I choose to have faith. We’ll get wrecked by this adaptation, and I’d bet money on it if I had any lol

OOF, THAT WAS LONG. I hope this was actually helpful/useful and not just incoherent feral rambling!

#Trigun #Trigun Stampede #Tristamp #Trimax #Trigun Maximum #Trigun Meta #I guess???#This feels like rambling more than meta but idk man #All of my 'meta' feels like feral ramblings to me #God I'm so sorry about this #Ask #Anon #Yadda yadda #My Trigun Meta

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 28 days

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Sorry I tried leaving this as comments on your reply to my ask but there was just too much waffle and it was all jumbled so I’m putting it here😂😂

Sorry it took me a MARATHON of time to reply to, I can’t explain how pleased it makes me that this comment made your day bc honestly every time you update it always seems to be during a v tough week and it’s just this ultimate stress relief and enjoyment that I so so love🥹

Just to quickly waffle about what you said, I’m so appreciative of how you fret over the characters sounding real bc it pays off SO MUCH and though I’m still of the mind that you’ve been given this unique ability to read their minds, I can recognise it must take so much studying of their characters and the words you choose and to have such a phenomenal skill <3333

And honestly I LOVE watching him have all these realisations through Suzy bc it’s so real and so satisfying and I’m so excited (but also terrified bc poor woman how do you compete with soul mates) to see how everything unfolds between them all.

And the LITTLE DETAILS that you should honestly trademark bc you do them so well 😭 but I literally have this growing list in my mind that I need to write down cause they make my heart flutter they’re so intimate and careful :’) I could literally waffle about them all day.

You’re so right, they have SUCH a special dynamic, and often I find it frustrating with real life ships bc it’s not like with films where though characters can be deep they have a specific kind of basis to them which fits a role. Real people are so complex and so it’s not 24/7 that someone gets them so right that you feel like you’re watching a segment of their lives (milex writers in general do tend to have an uncanny ability to write them brilliantly) but with you it feels like everything you write can just be added on to their actual interactions and it’s perfection.

I’m so so pleased that my ramblings had an impact on getting your confidence back to heights it should be at because I rlly can’t explain how brilliant you and your writing are so thank you thank you for all the work you put into it. I’m SO EXCITED for the next chapter 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and one day I’m gonna go into the absolute insane perfection that is the sex scene in chapter 8 bc the realism, build up, and EMOTIONS as well as pure sexyism (almost put sexism there which wasn’t quite right 😂) is just one of the best and sauciest things I’ve ever read.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Also trying to add a cute lil milex hug gif to this is impossible bc they’re all far too sexually charged or emotionally unstable 😂

hiii lovely!! 💝 oh my goddddddd i swear your asks just leave me a blushing, giddy mess every single time 😭😭

i'm so glad to hear that my updates always seem to manage to coincide with a time where they're able to provide you with a little bit of comfort and escapism 🥺

honestly i've always just found other people fascinating, and have found myself imagining what the world might be like through their eyes for as long as i can remember! it's been so much fun to get to really delve deep into that in this fic, so i really love that you notice and appreciate that side of it 🥰🥰 aghhhhhh. it truly just means so much to hear that you feel i capture something real about alex and miles and their dynamic in this fic, thank you 🥺

also STOP your flailing about the smut scene is too sweet 😭 i am SO glad you felt all the build up and emotions worked, and honestly any time you feel like going into it, please don't hold back - i am more than happy to hear your thoughts! it was hands down one of my favourite bits of the whole fic to write, actually 🥰

once again your utterly lovely words have lifted my spirits so much, thank you for your kindness and generosity in taking the time to share your experience of reading four walls with me 💖 you're an absolute gem and i cannot WAIT for your to read chapter nine! (which will be posted tomorrow... 😉)

(god you were not wrong about the milex hug gifs, were you?! aghhh they're both so ridiculous 😭😭 anyway here, have them being their silly, playful selves having the best time together! sending you all the best vibes for your weekend 💜🌟)

#asks #four walls #so sorry it took me a little while to reply to this!#life has been a bit manic #also i promise i haven't forgotten your other ask either #in fact i'm very much looking forward to posting my answer 😂

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antaripirate · 8 months

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Some final thoughts before Threads, from a place a little too close to my heart.

(and a note on Threads posts and spoilers)

So, its 11pm, and an hour untill I’ll have access to The Fragile Threads of Power (I ended up preordering the kindle edition on top of my physical ones, bc they are all delayed in shipping, and, as someone pointed out to me recently, I have the patience of a fruit fly).

I should probably preface this by saying that this will probably read as insanely cringey, but I have so much I want to say, and so much on my mind that I know I will never know how to convey.

But I am just so fucking grateful that V has brought these worlds, these characters, back to us.

They feel like my home.

Something I always try to explain when people ask why Shades means so much to me, is that when I first read ADSOM, it was the first time I had ever seen myself in a character so entirely, and just felt so fucking seen.

I know that not everyone loves Delilah Bard, and that’s okay. But I’ve never felt quite so myself as I do when I have Lila there on the page next to me, as ridiculous as this probably sounds. I don’t really know how to explain this, because there are so many ways I could begin.

And then there’s Kell. Oh, Kell.

It’s so odd, to have never found a character like me, and then all of a sudden, stumbled across one who I wholeheartedly see myself in, and another where I can see pieces of me reflected.

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m not very good at putting these feelings into words, but trying is better than nothing, right? So I’ll continue.

The concept of having these characters back is so reassuring, so exciting, so nerve-wracking. I can’t wait to see what they’ve been up to, how their relationships have strengthened and changed, how new characters will push and pull on the threads of established dynamics and weave new ones.

I am scared of inevitably awful things happening to my favourites. The thought of Kell and Lila not being ok, and safe, and happy, and together fucking terrifies me. They are my entire world, both together and apart. But as terrified as I am, I can’t wait to have them back. To hear them snark at each other, and pull each other out of trouble, and just love each other.

I could writes essays on these two, and on all of the original ADSOM cast, and on predictions and theories and things I’d love to see, but I don’t think right now is the time for that. I’m already rambling and already so nervous with excitement.

I feel like a ball of adrenaline.

I can’t wait to come home.

A note on spoilers on posting:

So I’ve been wondering a lot about what to do regarding posting here about Threads whilst in the spoiler risk period, and I think what I’m gonna do is anything I do post, I’ll have a huge heading broadcasting spoilers for the book and also for which part within the book, because I am fucking terrified of accidentally spoillering someone. If anyone has any thoughts on this please do lmk!!

Anyway, if you read this, thank you - I hope it didn’t sound too ridiculous.

Anoshe.

#i may end up deleting this #it probably reads like nonsense but it’s got a lot of emotions in it from me #anyway #here we go #the fragile threads of power #threads of power #tftop #fragile threads #adsom #a darker shade of magic #a conjuring of light #a gathering of shadows #kell maresh #shades of magic #v e schwab #lila bard #delilah bard #kellila

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thekidsarentalright · 11 months

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HELLO I SURVIVED!! my voice is extremely fucked up from screaming and my legs hurt but i’m alive!! i feel like there’s so much stuff i need to ramble abt so i’m just gonna write a fuckin essay here lmao i’m so sorry 😭

ok so the stage looked SO cool in person. the backdrops were gorgeous <3 and everything was like a physical prop, not projections… including the giant replica of bubbles the dog <3 pete kept pretending to put his hand in its mouth and patrick was singing to it! and the pyro was insane, i could feel the heat from it and i was Not super close to the stage. they Also had a clock on the side of the stage that would go backwards every so often… like going back in time to play older songs 😭

UM?!?! THAT SETLIST?!?!?! ginasfs was NOT a possibility in my head at all, so that was absolutely insane, my god!!! everyone was like “???” after pete said they’d never played it live. and then it started and my brain literally blacked out. like my only thought was “there’s no way this is happening, what the FUCK”. that song is so important to me and honestly was one of the first ones i remember loving when i got into fob, so that was a whole moment!! if there’s a different song every time that’s so scary, i SO hope u get the song u want if that’s the case! <333

“don’t forget who left the light on 20 years ago” had me tearing up and then all the tttyg stuff… fob wants us all dead fr! and THEN HEAVEN IOWA?! AND HEADFIRST SLIDE?!?!?! i was HOLLERING the whole time, my throat still hurts 💀 and FAKE OUT OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭 the pink lights worked and it looked so pretty!!! it took some ppl a minute to get theirs set up, so the stadium kinda gradually lit up more and more and by the middle of the song it was fully lit! i swear i saw the exact moment where patrick realized what was going on and he smiled so big <3 i teared up so hard (was trying not to cry bc i had glitter on my face lol… i kinda cried anyway) and then pete gave us a shoutout! i’m def keeping my seashell on like… my wall or smth <3

also the covers!! that first song patrick did at the piano is lake shore drive, it’s actually what he was playing in that tiktok of him in the studio back in like… february! (it’s the piano thing right after the clip of him playing trumpet) my mom recognized it when i was watching that video originally and asked why he was playing it, so i already knew the song… was Not expecting it live tho 🤯 and then don’t stop believing?!?! we were all v confused but excited lmao… and then crazy train a bit later 😅

and pete did baby annihilation!! honestly when i said he could do it and i’d cheer, i did NOT expect him to actually do it lmaoo… but he did and it was fantastic!! hold me like a grudge was also incredibly fun, it goes so hard live <3 shoutout to the ppl who were doing the clapping during the bridge w me lol

every time patrick started talking he’d go “hi” in this soft voice and i was just like “HIIIII 🥺” AND HE WORE DOC MARTENS!!! AAAA 💓 he was so sunshiny and just skipping around like usual <3

OH ALSO!! idk what the other venues on this tour are like, but wrigley has this thing above the stage where they have a couple different flags, and all except one of them were changed out to be the smiley face logo!! it reminded me of when they planted their flag in the lftos music video and i got emotional looking at it 😭 like. they did it!! and it’s so obvious they’re excited to be doing all this!! ur gonna have an absolute blast at your show for Sure!

(the openers were fucking amazing too, i totally didn’t process that tai was playing until literally right before they came onstage. and then they covered snakes on a plane and were like “iykyk” and i very nearly died lmao)

(alsooooo congrats on finishing ur first year of college!! happy stardust summer! mwah 💕)

- 🧋 anon

SOOO sorry to be answering this a couple days later tumblr never showed me i got it!!!!! ANYWAYS

ohhhhh my god it sounds like it was such a fantastic like. incredibly special concert, i'm so happy for u!!! the setlist and the set itself literally blew my mind as i was watching a livestream of the show like????? my god they really pulled out ALLL the stops while also keeping the classics on there, really a setlist to please Everyone i think?? also w the set like. all the animatronic stuff and different backgrounds and everything. patrick was Not kidding when he said this show was visually different than anything they'd ever done before i am. SOOOO impressed. actually both by that and the stardust project, i remember something similar happened for mania tour and it was really pretty (kept my cutouts and still have them!!!) so im VERY glad it's happening this time for fake out <333 they deserve to see all of our love in every way possible <333

SO interesting that that's what he was playing on that tiktok omg he was practicing for so longggggg.... insane that ur show got a special lil piano mashup and then last night he did what a time to be alive.... so curious to see if its wattba forever now or if that's gonna be different each night Too!!!

and YEAHHH baby annihilation being on the setlist is making me soooo ;__; every time i think abt it im sooooo proud of pete for like. being confident enough to do That in front of thousands of people. also made me so happy to see patrick skipping around stage in his slay lil outfit like all four of them were SOOO happy u could tell i just. god i love them, they DID it they had their lil flag planted and played such a good show. last nights show was no doubt so good and special too from every video i've seen i just. i Know this tour is gonna be the tour of a lifetime, im SOOO excited for my show and also so glad urs was such a wonderful time and experience like u got so many special lil things!!! ginasfs and snakes on a plane etc!!!!!!!!! loved hearing all of this <33333

#augh this made me somehow even more excited for my show!!!#also thank u!!!! happy stardust summer to U as well <3 mwah #asks #🧋anon

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year

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hi!!! so i have been following your YouTube channel since (checks calender) 2018 so it's been a while, and I'm a huge fan, just a lil shy (you're so cool holy shit, your writing is mind blowing, aaaaaa), so ANYWAY the point of this ask is, body back sounds awesome, might i request some more vibes perhaps 👀👀👀

Omg hi!!!! I could cry to learn someone’s been watching my videos for so long 😭 thank you for all your support!! ❤️ when people think I’m cool it makes me v excited because I’m really just a little gremlin IRL! Happy you like my writing & appreciate all the engagement!

Of COURSE I can send more vibes for BB! First, here's just an excerpt because I'm about to go ham under the cut lol:

The pool he floats in belongs to a young couple. The man works real estate according to the signs Harrison’s seen of his face peppered around the neighbourhood. He’s wondered if that’s ever humiliating, to constantly see pixelated versions of yourself everywhere. But that doesn’t matter. His wife walks dogs in her free time, which means always. Last week, Harrison watched her jog with a vizsla, and just yesterday she spent the morning on their gable-roofed veranda brushing a wispy Alaskan malamute. That was the same veranda Harrison passed on his way to their yard’s fence. Perhaps they wanted someone to do what he did: hook his boot into the crisp rung of their gate, then swing right over. Why else would it have been so easy?

More in-depth BB rambles under here!

CW: drug addiction, mental illness, violence & suicide.

This project is taking over me right now, which might be a way of my brain procrastinating finishing Seventh Virtue (LOL), but I’ve learned to just lean into the hyperfixation so we’re here now!

I really felt drawn to write BB because of this extremely complex thing Harrison goes through in Moth Work that unbeknownst to 17-year-old Rachel who wrote it, she reaaaaaallllly relates to now at 21. I've been unable to stop thinking about this since re-reading MW, because I somehow profoundly represented this experience at 17 that I'm now undergoing at 21.

Harrison is supporting someone who needs a LOT of help (at this point in MW, Lonan’s been an addict for about 3 years, is chronically depressed, is in a constant disocciated state, has attempted suicide twice in less than a year). He feels responsible for this because he loves this person very much--he WANTS to help Lonan. But I don't think he realizes how much effort this will entail and that he himself doesn't have the sole power to "fix" anything. But he’s so young—how long can he handle this before he himself breaks?

The answer is: not long! One could say Harrison’s fatal flaw in MW is not wanting to change. He doesn’t WANT to leave Lonan behind because he doesn't WANT to lose him, he doesn’t WANT a relationship with his mom, Suzanna. At the same time, his life is at this tenuous impasse: things CANNOT sustainably continue in the state they're in, but he's terrified of them changing. And by the end of the book, both of those things happen—it’s his arc. The loose end is the prior point: he's terrified of change, but now the change has happened.

What I want to do in BB is take that loose end and light it on fire. I want to show what happens when that change happens. It's NECESSARY change, but in this moment, feels like the worst decision possible. BB is about the in-between space of being in a destructive relationship & eventually putting yourself first. For Harrison, the experience is extremely messy. He craves intimacy badly but has no idea how to love anyone but Lonan. He craves independence but is also scared of it: how do you start your own life when the last few years have been focused on someone else's?

In Moth Work, he creates the beginnings of a relationship with a man named Jeremiah (to be clear: H&L aren’t dating in MW, they never canonically actually date unlike how I make it sound LOL, only in the Seventh Virtue AU are they a couple!). Jeremiah is a really interesting character in Harrison's life because he represents something "normal." Here's when Harrison meets him in MW:

The motel is named after a dead woman—The Greta Arquette. Harrison discovers this while absently thumbing through a brochure at the empty front desk. The lobby is decorated with vintage clocks and floral wallpaper and it makes sense—the woman it’s dedicated to died at 92. He’s on page six when a young man with an earring and a hair pick appears behind the desk.

Harrison shuts the brochure and slots it back into the display. “Can I get a room?” he asks, already fumbling for his wallet.

“Long ride?”

The clerk—Jeremiah, according to his nametag—smiles. His skin glows amber under the lanterns hung from the ceiling, and his hair looks too good for 2AM. The collar of his uniform pastes underneath his sweater, and it’s almost charming, this unnoticed mistake.

Wait up for my video later today (3PM EST!!) where I literally in-depth analyze a couple scenes with Jeremiah (since I talk more about this there), but essentially, Harrison gets a small taste of what it might be like to be a "typical" 21-year-old here. It entails dancing with people you think are cute, enjoying each other's company without doing anything at all, going to breakfast, etc... All things he and Lonan have never done.

In BB, I want to show the breakdown of this "normal" relationship as Harrison more and more self-destructs to self-preserve. He literally cannot handle this change he's incited--who is he at all without Lonan? He doesn't know, and he can't handle that he doesn't know, so he "goes bad." There's brief mentions of this turn in Feeding Habits where Harrison addresses he was a bit of a disaster when he and his mother lived in Las Vegas, which is why his main goal in FH is to "restart" in NYC (and it's why he also gets destructive again in NYC when his second reboot fails).

I always knew elements of what happened to Harrison in Las Vegas, but didn't know the extent. In FH, the only element we're certain of is when he runs into the same woman Lonan runs into in ch. 6 of Moth Work. He essentially ends up being beat up badly, which for him (mostly his mother, Suz) is the last straw and what makes them pack up to NY.

It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as Lonan did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb's. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making a decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour somewhere else, unknowingly inseparable.

But I've been wanting to write what happened BEFORE this, in the time between, which is what BODY BACK is going to be! Here's an excerpt from FH (ft. Jeremiah) that takes place during this timeline:

They saw each other in brief, neon stints. Drinking in his one-bedroom, after Jeremiah’s shifts at The Greta Arquette—a dingy motel—clattering, limb by limb, under his Styrofoam disco ball and calling it dance. They knew each other so little but so well. Where each groove of skin and bone on the other’s body was, what limbs could notch so perfectly together, like nubs of old soap fused together.

The vibes are going to be pretty much the above! Mirror balls, pop music, drugs in misty rooms, eat the rich, etc.

I've been excited to write this story because it shows a side of Harrison I only barely understood when I wrote Feeding Habits. It's actually why Feeding Habits was IMPOSSIBLE for me to write, because I was still seeing Harrison in "caretaker" mode when he actually was rejecting that fully. I wasn't used to seeing him make bad decisions. For all accounts, Harrison is a terrible person in FH. He takes advantage of his mother's kindness, he disappears to scare her, he's self-medicating, he's inviting Reeve to his place under the guise of catching up with an old friend when he actually doesn't care at all about her and only wants to see a glimpse of Lonan's face, he's stealing from the vulnerable, and doesn't want to stop any of it. FH is really Harrison's destruction arc, and BB is going to explore HOW that happened--what triggered those events?

I'd always seen Lonan as the "issue" in their relationship. This was natural in a lot of ways since Lonan started out as a literal villain (lol), but also mostly because I emotionally related to him most back when I was writing him. ALLL my negative emotions and struggles went right to him. It's why Lonan was my favourite character all throughout my teenage years. What I didn't expect is that at the age they're at in this book (21), I'd suddenly understand Harrison on a very, very different level. This is also another reason I want to write this like NOW because I'm 21 and in a similar (albeit wayyyy less dramatic) era. Is this sort of going to be autofiction, maybe!

I think in MW, Harrison doesn't feel much like an "adult" yet. in BODY BACK, he KNOWS he's an adult, and goes a little too hard knowing he can do whatever the hell he wants. If Harrison can do what he wants, it means he can reclaim himself even if it means destruction along the way. What's he willing to do to get his body back?

That's a q to ponder!

It's going to be lots of fun! LOL

#writing #fostered #bodyback #mothwork #I love this project sm already even tho I've barely written it #idk how I'm going to be a functional Adult until this thing is out of my brain

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number-one-crush · 1 year

Text

LF DoL M!LIxF!PC RP! (w/ me as the LIs and you as the PC!)

What an absolute fucking MESS of a title that is, lmaoooo TT

ASSORTED WARNINGS: 22+!! TW: dead dove and shit, it’s Degrees of Lewdity, please be careful people who don’t know what that is!

Hey (maybe future) friends! I’ve recently gotten into DOL and have been pretty obsessed with it lately. It’s got all the things I love, and by all the things I love, I mostly mean: EVERYONE LOVES ONE PERSON AND NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT IT and TOXIC FUCKING OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. So, without further ado…

THE PREMISE:

My favorite characters by far are Whitney and Kylar. I imagine I’d also probably really like Eden, too, but I actually haven’t really tried anything with him yet, and honestly, as much as he sounds like a real catch, I just really, really thrive off all the jealous drama between Whitney, Kylar, Sydney and Robin at school.

So like, I’d really like to RP that. And by that, I mean that I’d like to write Whitney and Kylar… and to a lesser extent, (mostly for drama) Robin and Sydney, as being wildly in love with and obsessed with your PC so we can explore the absolute mess of a fall out that inevitably causes. :v

My favorite thing to do with characters I love is to write for them: there’s something really fun about getting into that headspace and exploring the way they feel and how they’d behave, and I love it. I could write fanfiction, and I can’t lie: the temptations have been there! But honestly, it’s hard for me to motivate myself writing fanfiction when the chance to write against someone else and geek out over the absolute fucking disaster-nonsense our characters get up to together is so much more fun. ):

SO: DETAILS!

I really only do MxF, with me playing the LIs as dudes and you playing the PC as a lady. Sorry for any other pairing combination, I just wouldn’t have the same inspiration to write for other configurations. ): I’m not going to tell you how your PC should look or really behave, and I look forward to hearing about her from you! I love getting excited about other peoples’ OCs!

I’ve got headcanons for the boys (which are pretty typical, honestly!), but I am of course open to input from you on what you’d like to see, too. :>

Since this is DOL, obvious content warnings apply! Noncon/dubcon, abusive and messed-up situations… they pretty much come with the territory, though I’m not looking to make anyone uncomfy and I’ve got no problem toning some things down or ratcheting things up based on what you do or don’t feel comfy with! I’d like to feel comfortable talking OOC to make sure everyone feels okay about stuff.

Which brings my rambling to my next point: DOL is obviously a sex game and I’m not opposed to raw smut or anything. But what I miss from the game is the emotional turmoil and fucked up sense of longing – and an obvious desire to possess PC – that I feel Kylar and even Whitney are drowning in. We get to see their actions, but not their thoughts, and I really want to do this to develop and dwell on those feelings! I want to see them and the PC involved in situations (fucked up as they are) that allow those things to really flourish and shine. I am an absolute slut for deep, anguished, sometimes violent obsession in characters… I just think getting to explore that is SUPER sexy in fiction, so maybe expect a like 80/20 plot to smut ration. Maybe 70/30? I feel like the smut hits a LOT harder if you’ve got a lot of pent up feelings behind it.

Honestly, I don’t even NEED smut, but like, it’s DOL, so it kinda feels like it comes with the territory? Your girl here really lives the tumultuous, angsty emotional foreplay, whoops. ): I just really wanna write a bunch of really fucked up dudes falling in love with PC – bullying her, stalking her, meekly trying to protect her… you get the vibe!

ANYWAY, some things I’d hope for/need from you!:

+ Absolutely, positively, with no exceptions, you need to be like, middish twenties or older. I’m older myself and I absolutely have no desire to interact with teenagers. No offense to teenagers, you all can make great writers – just as someone who is absolutely not a teenager, it’s just what I’m comfortable with. Even if the subject matter wasn’t super-ultra-fucked, I wouldn’t feel comfy with it.

+ I’d like someone who understands that, as an adult, I have a job and a partner and a relatively active social life with my (one) good friend, so I will probably manage a post or two a day, sometimes a post every two! It might be more than that if I really get into the vibe, but ya know…

+ I like to be descriptive when I write, somewhere between pretentious-fuckoffery and wordy-but-functional. Sometimes I’ll do a few paragraphs… sometimes, I really get into it and it can be a couple pages. I tend to be reactive to what is needed for a scene: flashy back-and-forth dialogue is gonna make for shorter posts, but sometimes I really like getting into my character’s headspace and waxing poetic about how much they want their love interest for like, a few paragraphs or more. I’d like someone who can at least manage a few paragraphs! One liner stuff does nothing to me; I want to be able to feel like my characters have a reason to WANT your character, so I need something to work with! Please have a pretty good grasp of grammar and what not, too! Obviously stylistic choices can make for some fun grammar fuckery, and I’m not about to judge for some spelling errors, but like, please please have a pretty good grasp of writing! I live for good writing partners. ):

+ TENSE/POV: I am not super picky, but I admit I love the present tense second person of the game. As someone who was super into Homestuck, that shit just jives with me. That said, I’m open to a lot of different things, just absolutely NO FIRST PERSON. I cannot stand it in RP, it really takes me out. We can hash it out!

+ The ability to advocate for yourself OOC! The subject matter is icky, and I don’t want to traumatize anyone. We don’t need to be best OOC friends, but I hope we can feel comfortable with each other enough to hash things out outside of RP so we can both feel okay with whatever is going on! I’d also really like to just be able to gush about our characters OOC, please! TT Like, let’s be dumb and make playlists and pinterests, ahhhhhh! If you got a song you got that reminds you of things, PLEASE TELL ME, I wanna be a total fucking nerd about our fucked up children!

+ Discord! I tend to use discord to RP because servers make things easier to organize! Please use it! I don’t really like using anything else, womp womp. ):

So! If you’ve read all that, and you’re interested, please hmu here on Tumblr! I hate the ask/messaging system here, so like, you can just drop me some info on your PC and maybe your discord handle via one of those, and we can move to Discord to see if we’d make good RP partners!

Thanks a bunch and looking forward to hearing from you!

PS: Please excuse the Dabi theme-ing, I’m too lazy to change my very basic theme-ing. I love love fucked up dudes, and I cannot lie.

#degrees of lewdity #dol #degrees of lewdity rp #dol rp #kylar the loner #whitney the bully #proship rp #kylar the loner rp #whitney the bully rp #degrees of lewdity roleplay #dol roleplay #mxf rp #mxf roleplay

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krafterwrites · 2 years

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Alright, here’s the completed version of the trio’s house in The Sims 4! I’ve been working on this on and off for about a week, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out overall. All of the screenshots with some additional info under the cut

This is the living room, it’s one of the more minimalist rooms in the house, but I like it

Another view of the living room, which shows off some more of the decorations. A little detail I like is that as well as the gaming console, there’s an item that represents everyone in the area: A potted plant for Teddy, some blue candles for Luna, and a cute little knitted octopus for Kit (I recently came up with the idea that one of Kit’s hobbies would be knitting/fabricworking since she would love the idea of making a piece of clothing for herself out of a roll of fabric with a flame pattern or another similar design, which would also lead to her working with yarn as well. I’m sharing this bc there’s a lot of furniture in the house that reflects this, it’s not just a random infodump hklfghklfgh)

Some side views of the living room, nothing really interesting to say about these

A photo of the dining room that Teddy photobombed, which is kind of fitting

A view of the kitchen, there is a lot of stuff on the counters here

A side view of the same stretch of counter

Idk how to describe this thing, it’s basically just a small table with a lot of kitchen themed decorations

Sorry for the weird angle on this one, the room is too small to capture in any other way. Fun fact, I actually had to remove the door for this shot, since it was blocking the view a lot

Here’s the hallway that leads to the trio’s bedrooms

These two paintings were definitely hung up by Teddy

Meanwhile, these ones were probably hung up by Kit

The last stretch of hallway, which also shows a peek into Kit and Luna’s rooms

This is the part that I’m most excited about, since there’s a lot of details in the bedrooms that I want to talk about (and I really like how the bedrooms turned out). This is Teddy’s bedroom, and as you can see, it is very plant themed

This photo shows off a lot of things that I’d like to talk about, so the caption for this is probably going to be pretty long. Starting with the desk, the pencils in the cup are mostly for him to write on sticky notes that he would occasionally put in books that he would read. The (Probably impossible to see) photo in the frame on the desk is literally just an apple on a white background. It’s mostly there because it was the nicest looking decoration that would fit in that spot, but for some reason I think it would be in character for Teddy to have a framed picture of an apple on his desk. Moving onto the shelf above his bed, the tiny orange and blue thing is a little knitted bear that Kit made for him. The flower lamp below it was put there because it looked nice, but now that I think about it, it would be perfect for reading in bed

The cute decal above the door is from The Sims version of Pokemon, which I think he would enjoy a lot. The things on the shelf to the left are beverage cans (I think they’re basically thermoses) and a camera, since he would like to take photos of nature and his friends. The penguin with a hat and the 3 green pixels on the bookshelf are more little knitted guys from Kit, the other two things are a cherry blossom tree snowglobe and a bottle of honey from Honeycomb Village that he keeps as a memento

Lastly, there’s his nice floral design dresser, which has two of his favorite things on top of it

Onto Kit’s rooms, this has just as many if not more things to ramble about, so the long chunks of text aren’t over yet. The main thing visible in this one is her craft desk where she makes all of her knitted stuff, and a little orange ghost thingy hanging above the storage shelf. There’s also a cat shaped lamp, and a bi flag above her bed

Kit would definitely have a lot of posters hanging up in her room, mostly anime ones jklghljkgh

Another poster, this time a big (sims version of) Pokemon one hanging above her dresser, where she has a cat planter like the one on Teddy’s nightstand. There’s also a cool sci-fi sword mounted above the door, and triangle lights next to her gaming set up that I’m going to talk about next

Kit would definitely love RBG light stuff, so I made everything in her gaming area have rainbow lights. Onto the shelf that’s next to the PC setup, there’s a lot of stuff here, but I’m only going to talk about some of it since there’s like 14 things on it. It’s impossible to see, but on the lower areas of the shelf, there’s a framed Pokemon card and some earbuds, plus an unopened booster pack of cards. There’s also some smiley plant pots full of plants (That look like pretty easy to take care of plants since one of them is a cactus, which is a nice coincidence since it implies that Teddy gave Kit some low-maintenance plants since he knows that she doesn’t have experience tending to plants). There’s also a jar of candy since she has a sweet tooth, and a rack of swords above the shelf. Also yes I know the console being there is kind of weird since there’s already one in the living room, but I’m too tired to change the room and get a new screenshot, so we’ll both just have to accept it for now

Lastly, we’re on to Luna’s room, which I have a lot less to say about because there is pretty much nothing in there. I didn’t get lazy designing this one, though, Luna just doesn’t need that much stuff in her bedroom

This image probably isn’t necessary since it just shows a better view of the dresser, but I’m putting it in anyways

There was some spare room in the house, so I decided to convert it into a gym/lounge for Luna since her room wasn’t large enough for her to have any exercise equipment in. It has the same minimalist vibe (And the same wallpaper color)

I was originally going to put a punching bag in this room, but I found out that there was a sparring bot, so I decided to go with that instead

There’s a nice little seat here for Luna to relax on between workouts

There was more extra room that I didn’t want to use for Luna’s exercise room, so there’s a door in the middle of it that leads to a cluttered storage closet

This is Teddy’s garden outside of the house. I’m going to be honest, it does not look good at all, but I made it while in a terrible mood because I drank 3/4 of a small cup of black coffee, which was apparently more caffeine than I could handle (Fun fact, in addition to making you jittery and unfocused, having too much caffeine in your system also makes you very irritable) and I have already spent way too much time on this house. Maybe I’ll make it look good some other day

This is part of a nice outdoor area in the front yard, which does not look terrible like the garden does

Another view of the outdoor area

All the shade in the two previous photos comes from a giant flowering tree, which looks pretty nice imo. Also, the trio just standing there all staring in the same direction is pretty funny to me for some reason

Lastly, here’s a photo of the other plot of empty space in the front yard, which also does not look very good. Yeah, I’m not very good at designing outdoor spaces

Well, that’s the entire thing. If you actually read through this entire post and made it to this paragraph, then congratulations! I hope you enjoyed this house tour, because it took me a while to get all these photos and type all of this out

#Luna #Teddy #Kit #OC Brainrot #Krafter Plays The Sims

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ladychandraofthemoone · 2 years

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Doodle Dump

Was suppose to add this on Halloween but I couldn’t finish the entire gang in monster au so here’s some random photos of my fav characters as humans, my splatoon au and more rambling.

A human Rosie (she’s afro-Brazilian,pan) with me trying to make her afro puffs looks like rose buns and Rebecca (Colombian/Chinese/Caribbean, pan and trans🏳️‍⚧️ ) in pretty outfits!! 💗💗 I’m still thinking if she should be Malagasy or Melanesian doodle with roses and sunflowers plus Dilly the Duck: plus some mini corner Rosie x 16 (Christopher/Warrior, first time doodling him, i might change his design later on) cause I love this ship so much, thank u @toast-com 🥰😍💓💞💗💖❣️

An attempt on body posture with Stanley, I adore his dreads. 💗❣️

More Stanley poses(mine likes wearing piercings and takes up boxing) plus an lazy attempt on Lady, I looked up Victorian style fashion and inspiration from the amazing folks here on tumblr(please ignore the half done braided dreadlocks and no face)

Ima add more ramblings so heads up cause it’s gotta get long and there are gotha be some sad and maybe dark topics so beware:

SPLATOON AU TIME: Here’s inkling Duncan (punk rock cause I was thinking of a pop idol vocaloid au, he’s thinking about Madge, i ship them), a younger Octoling Stanley who was an agent during the war with Kyle, who looks too much like Frye and Iono and is still easily excitable. Like their human counterparts, Stanley stayed away from others due to his jinx and was ostracized, not that they minded at all while Kyle was an orphan, having lost their family to a massive heatwave and famine. They end up bumping into each other with Kyle being amazed and in awe 🤩🤩of meeting an Octoling, instead of running away or avoiding him like Stanley is use to, they instead compliments him and asks so many questions, flustering and overwhelming him a lot so it just went from there (there’ s a whole storyline that I haven’t figure out yet but kyle gets kidnapped and stanley recuses him and they become a couple later on im working no the details)

Plus some Stanley x Andreas shipping, just some boyfriends doing each other's hair. it was based off that overwatch photo of Lucio doing Junkrat’s hair and I thought it was cute and adorable 💞💓💖💗

Some more hair practice with stanley-

ALSO MORE SPLATOON AU!! Luke is an octoling like Stanley and thus was accused of killing someone (Victor though I don’t know how that works here) and an entire town so he’s on the run until he meets Inkling Ivo Hugh, an newbie to the games as they become battle partners and try to solve the mystery (I haven’t figured out who most of the cast is, though Rusty is also an Octoling)

Stanley and Kyle(Proteus is his stage name) becomes idols after fighting in the war together (stanley was Agent 2, Kyle the inkling was 7) before settling down together as musical influences, a younger octoling Stanley before everything went to hell, Kyle wearing a Frye inspired outfit and wears a mask inspired by Lord Ganesha (he’s Indian/Arab), Stanley leans more towards his Cherokee/Mohawk Iroquis/Creole myths, legends and folklore on coyote and foxes(get it? red fox-) (haven’t draw him yet bu andreas leans more towards argentine dance folklorico, duncan’s rock n roll)

here so I’ve been trying to figure out their names, like Dead Sea, Kyle is blatantly inspired by Frye in appearance and dance, and loves hanging out with Stanley. Like folks think it’s Stanley they should avoid and rumors tend to spread but nope it’s Kyle cause they once threw a chair at someone making fun of Stanley, Kyle may be a overly happy, optimistic chap but they won’t take nicely to anyone picking on their loved ones. He’s a protective bf 😍🥰

More Madge!! I based her off of April from rottmnt though Im making blasian(Jamacian-Japanese, i also wanna make her latina but I feel like Im being biased 😓😅) she was born without her lower left part of her arm so she wears a prothestic that she decorates with stickers and paint she’s very decora kei lolita in her free time but finds ways to wear it. She was slightly based off od ButterFrogMantis on DA human madge design but now I’m an idiot an just realized it was mean's to be like her three wheels (gosh why didn’t I notice that sooner but better late than never I suppose)

Duncan in a punk-rock style, i had trouble with the mohawk and should’ve added more stuff to him, I’ll do it for the idol au-

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thefatiguedfatale · 2 years

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I am here to ramble because I don’t feel like making a thread on the bird app. But if anyone wants to follow me there @sogekingprotege ... 👀👀👀

So I was ravaging through some of the storage stuff I have in my closet like a month ago and I found a film roll! But I had no clue where it came from because I have never used film like that before. So I planned on bringing it somewhere to get developed to see if there was anything in it, but I forgot so it kind of just turned into decorations for my desk ☠️ it was a cute decoration though 😡

But today I was looking at it again and felt the need to actually trying to figure out if it was used or not this time. And during my very thorough investigation of just looking at it I noticed it said “Return to Brooks Photo Center” so I looked up the name and …nothing comes up. Just some universities and some random websites.

Which is weird because obviously this thing has a name and a return place. So I continued my ‘investigation’ and that’s when it fucking clicked!

Brooks was a old ass pharmacy that my dad used to go to all the time that was across the street from the first apartment I lived in as a kid! And this was back in the early 2000s so I don’t think I would have remembered it if it weren’t for the fact that I was my dad’s shadow back in the day so it was a fairly significant place in my mind.

Just looking at the logo brought back a whole bunch of memories of from when I was a kid so I definitely just sat down at my desk looking at thing thing going “🥹🥹🥹” for a solid 10 min. I don’t have any good memories of the actual place because it was replaced with another pharmacy when I was old enough to actually be able to retain memories well, but I what I do remember for sure was my dad calling it by its old name for YEARS afterwards he’s an old Caribbean man who sticks w what he knows so of course he would. Which is what jerked the memories back to me in the first place.

Then…I got curious because I was sure that place went out of business and didnt just move locations. And I was right👹. It went out of business in fucking 2007… so at the very LEAST this film roll is about a decade and a half old. I also found out in my ‘investigative search’ that the film is unused too!Luckily my best friend has a film camera that will fit it, so they’re graciously letting me borrow it to take some photos.

I’m so happy that I found it just in time for the fall! There are many many many many many things I don’t like about living in New England but the fall season is not one of them. It’s so gorgeous here during that season so I’m v excited to see how the roll is gonna do with all the different colors!! 😀

TLDR: I found old unused film in my closet and I'm gonna use it to take Christian girl autumn photos w it👹

#Andy's Rambles #this is a long one sorry #theres a tldr at the end so just look at that tbh

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inkykeiji · 2 years

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helloo <3 are we allowed to follow ur personal blog? i saw it n it looks so frickin cute but i didn’t know if u wanted us on there yet so just wondering !

hi hi!!! <33 aw hehehe you’re lovely, i appreciate you asking!!! yes you’re totally allowed to follow it if you’d like to!! i’m not really sure what i’m going to use it for—i was thinking of kinda just using it like an old school blog where i just,,, talk about my life lmao!!! but yes yes of course u can follow it if you’d like to <3 i promise i wouldn’t have posted the link if u weren’t/if i wasn’t okay with it!! <3333

#LITERALLY ANON IM IN LOVE WITH THE THEME AAAAAH HEHEHE #i was like to myself ‘why don’t i just use this like a myspace then’ LMAO #bcoz on myspace u could have like little blog posts like journal entries and you could have statuses as well which was super cool #so yeah!!!#tbh it’s v exciting hehehe i really like it!!!! but i also think a big factor of that is just like my extreme nostalgia #i also really love sharing things here with everyone as well so……. i’m kinda stuck on what to do #i was thinking just reblogging certain posts here would probably do the trick!!!#but anyway now i’m just rambling #u are sooooo cute anon!!!!! thank you for being so polite!!!#i hope you have a marvellous wednesday and stay safe out there!!! <333 #i am sending u tons of health n happiness!#<333 #inky.bb #clari gets mail

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frogtanii · 3 years

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℗ me and my husband

atsumu x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 3.2k (holy shit)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, v v soft domestic, marriage :00, smut!! (is marked off!!), soft dom!tsumu, hair pulling (giving), unprotected sex, slight praise kink, pretty vanilla ngl

an. can be read as a one shot but u might be confused lmfao also this took SO LONG OMFG also also heavily unedited, take things w a grain of salt lmfao anyways don’t forget to feed me ahaha m rlly proud of this so i hope y’all like it <33

it was moving day and atsumu was about to lose his mind.

today was the official day of the hyper house disbandment and while most of the members were still figuring out new living arrangements and thus remaining past the deadline, you were one of the few trying to get out as soon as possible.

makki and mattsun were so excited to have you move in, they showed up early that morning to help you pack. now, it was around 1p and it was almost time for you to go. you still had a few more boxes to go but things were speeding right along.

normally, atsumu would be right by your best friends helping you out but he was currently in the middle of a breakdown.

you were leaving. leaving. he had no idea when he’d see you again (even though you promised to meet up weekly to catch up), if he would ever see you again. for all he knew, makki and mattsun would just hide you away forever, never to be seen again.

okay, so he was panicking.

it was just... atsumu was in love with you. he’d known for a while (way longer than he’d like to admit) and he selfishly thought he’d have more time with you so that he could work up the courage to confess. but now? you were like three boxes away from a distance that he didn’t know if he or your relationship could recover from.

it wasn’t that he was bad at long distance but the tragic events that the house brought, brought the two of you closer together and he didn’t want to lose that.

atsumu let out a groan and dropped his head against the wall, his mind running with scenario after scenario, all ending in failure and utter embarrassment.

“hey, you okay?” you called out, a large box cradled delicately in your arms. as atsumu turned from the plaster in front of him, he allowed himself a moment to take you in.

you were wearing short athletic shorts, worn converses, and his t shirt. a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, the lights above reflecting off of it, giving you a warm glow.

of course you looked hot moving boxes.

you called his name again in concern and he immediately felt his heart clench in guilt. you’d already been through so so much and here he was fantasizing about you instead of being there for you like a good friend would.

atsumu let out a sigh and shot you a wide, albeit empty, smile before walking over to you and taking the box out of your hands. the furrow in your brows told him you saw through his expression but he ignored it and made a show of lifting your box above his head and carrying it to mattsun’s car.

“see, what would ya do without these guns angel?” he joked, placing the cardboard into the trunk. you rolled your eyes and poked him in the side playfully. “die, probably.”

the butterflies in his stomach kicked up at the underlying sincerity in your voice but he tried his best to overlook it. it was much harder than it seemed, especially when you looked at him with such fondness in your gaze that made him want to kiss you senseless.

gulping hard, he quickly turned away from you, busying himself with fitting your things in the truck like a game of tetris.

“atsumu.” your voice was firm but pleading and he didn’t dare look at you for fear of spilling everything right then and there. “wow, ya sure got a lot of stuff, huh? wonder how much of this was bought with ushijima’s money,” he started to ramble but thankfully he was interrupted by makki whooping as he walked out of the house.

“last box bitches!” you shot atsumu one final worried look before running over to makki and mattsun, yelling the whole way there.

atsumu was grateful your back was to him because he couldn’t hide the affectionate look that overtook his face, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he watched you hip bump your friends while cackling wildly.

god, he was so in love with you.

what was he going to do when you moved out and away? what if you found someone, someone how loved you as much as he did (not possible)? he would wish for your happiness even at the expense of his own but... what if you both could be happy?

caught up in his thoughts, atsumu didn’t register you saying your goodbyes to the remaining members until you were finally in front of him.

“i’m gonna miss living with you tsum.” you unceremoniously launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. his heart leapt violently at the contact and he prayed to every deity above that you didn’t hear it underneath your head.

he barely managed to hug you back before you pulled away, your eyes slightly teary and red. “um, well, makki and mattsun are waiting for me so uh,” you trailed off looking back at the van and your friends who were so (im)patiently waiting for you to join them.

atsumu’s breath quickened as you scooted a bit away from him, truly getting ready to leave. no, no, it couldn’t end like this, awkward and distant. no, he wasn’t going to let it.

“atsumu?” you asked worriedly, reaching out a hand to touch him when he didn’t respond but he couldn’t hear you. he felt hot all over, like he was going to explode or magically combust if he didn’t get the words out into the air.

“tsum, are you oka-“ “i’m in love with ya.”

you paused, shock written clearly all over your face. the fear of rejection slammed into atsumu like a brick, the feeling settling in the pit of his stomach like a rock but he still didn’t stop.

“i’m in love with ya and i have been for forever. yn, yer beautiful but yer face and body aren’t even the best part of ya, even though they’re pretty damn great. yer just-“

“tsum-“

“-yer so kind, especially when ya don’t need ta be. yer badass but ya care fer others so deeply and ya make me wanna be a better person. ya make me a better person. i know ya-“

“tsumu please-“

“-ya probably don’t feel the same and that’s alright but i needed ta tell ya, before ya leave and fall in love with some other scrub, just in case we can be happy together and-“

all of a sudden, your hands were buried in his shirt and you were pulling him close to meet your lips with his, your mouths meshing together in a soft and passionate kiss.

bliss. atsumu was in sheer bliss. your lips were as soft as he thought they would be as they moved with his, his hands coming up to grip your waist and pull you even closer to him.

sooner than he would have liked, his lungs started burning for air so he pulled back but not very far, instead resting his forehead against yours.

“i was trying to tell you i liked you too, idiot,” you muttered, your eyes still closed as you spoke. he chuckled, a wide grin overtaking his entire face as he really took in what you were saying.

you liked him back. you liked him. holy shit.

but instead of saying any of that, he decided to tease you a bit. “just like? if i recall, i just confessed my undying love for ya.”

you pulled back with a faux scoff, hitting him in the arm with a huff. “shut up you ass. of course i love you too.” you couldn’t keep your real smile off your cheeks while you confessed, your soft expression bringing another wave of desire over atsumu’s body.

“can, can i take ya inside angel?” he allowed his true intentions to be heard in his words, your eyes widening when you figured out what he meant. you nodded vigorously before shooting a look to makki and mattsun. mattsun just waved you off and got into his truck while makki yelled, “get that dick!”

you heated up horribly, grabbing atsumu’s hand and pulling him towards the house and to his room. he allowed himself to be dragged along, sending winks to the other boys as he went until the two of you were standing right in front of his door.

“i love ya,” he whispered, lifting your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss there. you grinned. “love you too tsum.”

that must have been the final straw because the minute the words left your mouth, he was on you.

••• smut begin•••

pressing you up against the door, atsumu ravaged your mouth, his tongue tangling with yours as he walked you backwards into his room, laying you down on the bed so that he was hovering over you, his hips pressing hard against yours.

instinctively, you ground up into him, rewarding you with a loud groan and a gasp of your name. “fuck angel, yer killing me here,” he laughed breathlessly, rolling his hardness against your thigh. you let out a breathy moan and tangled your hands in his hair to bring him back down to your lips.

as you continued to kiss him, his hands scrambled at your waist, pushing his hands under it to grope at your chest. you giggled at the cold of his fingers but he didn’t pay it any mind, moving down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark marks into the sensitive skin there.

“ah, shit tsumu,” you tilted your head to the side to give him more access, just as he reached under your bra to tease your nipples. a startled gasp left you, your back arching into his careful touch. “that feel good angel?” atsumu asked, voice low and gravelly as he pinched the delicate bud, drawing another noise from your throat.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. you bit your bottom lip while he pulled your shirt and bra off, tossing them somewhere in the room. as he scanned your half naked body, he noticed you quieting yourself and he lightly shook his head. his thumb found its way to your lip, carefully pulling it from between your teeth.

“wanna hear ya angel, let me hear yer pretty noises, yeah?” without letting you respond, atsumu dove back into your chest, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth while toying with the other, a sigh of his name sending a bolt of arousal straight to his loins.

he grinded against you absentmindedly, losing himself in you, eventually switching sides to give the same treatment to your neglected bud.

while atsumu seemed to be having the time of his life attached to your tit, you were getting impatient, your arousal completely soaking through your underwear. you needed more.

tangling your fingers in his blond locks, you attempted to tug him away from your chest but his reaction was unlike anything you could’ve expected. “aahh!” he let out a strangled whine, his hips bucking against your side.

“please, tsumu, need more,” you breathed, his needy reaction not lost on you as pulled his hair a bit harder. you were not disappointed as his eyes rolled back and his mouth opened in a silent moan before dropping his head to your shoulder.

“fuck, fuck, okay angel, i got ya, i got ya.” atsumu swiftly disposed of both yours and his bottoms and underwear before lifting your leg and positioning himself at your entrance.

“tell me if i hurt ya, alright? i love ya,” he smiled down on you, your heart swelling two times at his carefulness. “i love you too,” you replied, watching as his pupils grew and a low groan broke free from his chest.

“oh angel, ‘m gonna ruin ya.” that was the last thing he said before he pushed into you, both of you letting out whimpers as he stretched you open, the blunt head of his cock just a few centimeters shy of your cervix.

your back arched in pleasure, both of your hands scrambling until they found purchase on his back, your nails digging in just when he started to thrust shallowly into you.

“f-fuck, how’re ya s-so fuckin’ tight?” atsumu growled through gritted teeth, every word punctuated with a roll of his hips. you couldn’t respond as you were too overwhelmed with pleasure, his cock rubbing against your g-spot with every slow movement.

speaking of slow, he was moving way too leisurely for your tastes. you needed him to move faster and you knew exactly how to do it.

sliding your hand up from his back, you grabbed a good chunk of hair from the back of his head and pulled. his reaction was immediate and oh-so gratifying.

an honest to god whimper poured from his lips and he instantly thrusted all the way into you, his length driving into your g-spot perfectly. you both let out twin moans as he started rocking into consistently, every movement bringing you closer and closer to your peak.

“i love ya, i love ya so fuckin’ much, angel—shit—yer so amazing, i love ya,” atsumu rambled while pounding into you, deep curses and whines of your name interspersed with his declarations of love. if you could speak, you would reciprocate but you were too busy holding on for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion.

desperate for some kind of anchor to reality, you grasped onto his locks again, gripping tightly as drawn-out cries of his name slipped from your open lips. you were close, so close and he knew it too.

“feel ya clenchin’ around me like a good girl, ya gonna cum fer me? gonna cum fer me angel?” atsumu’s hand snaked down between your bodies to rub fast circles on your clit, a shaky sob finding its way out into the open air.

“oh shit, yeah, ‘m g-gonna cum for you tsum, ‘s all for you,” you moaned, clamping down on him sporadically as you started to cum, your vision whiting out and your thighs trembling while you gushed around him.

your mind was floating off when you felt him cum with a shout, his warmth flooding you and spilling out as he collapsed onto your chest.

••• smut over •••

the two of you lied there for a while, attempting to regain your brain and feeling in your legs. you vaguely made note of the wet rag cleaning between your thighs and the following weight falling down beside you but it was only after a few more minutes that you really came back to yourself, rolling over to lay on atsumu’s bare chest.

“holy shit, tsumu,” you said in awe, your boyfriend (!!) laughing at your reaction. “i’m just that good angel, what can i say?”

you groaned and hit him in the chest but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face if you tried. “you are such a menace!”

“only fittin’ that i picked a gremlin ta be with then,” atsumu teased while playing with a piece of your hair. mock offense filled your chest as you sat up, fixing him with your ‘angriest’ glare.

“is that the kind of language you’ll be using in your vows, mister?” you were only joking but when atsumu’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks, you realized your mistake.

you opened your mouth to apologize or to make some kind of excuse but he beat you to the punch. “ya wanna marry me angel?” he asked, looking so vulnerable with hope shining in his brown irises. you couldn’t bear to lie.

“of course tsum, you’re it for me,” you reached out a hand to caress his cheek and he leaned into it, his own coming up to cup yours and hold it against his face.

“good.” and that was the end of that, that evening’s... extraneous activities having thoroughly tired to the point that you fell completely asleep with your face against one of his pecs.

if you had stayed awake a little longer, you would’ve seen atsumu pull out his phone and start a new note titled, “my angel.”

if i just said i loved you, it would be an understatement. it would be like saying the sun’s surface is just a bit warm or that the arctic is just a little chilly. it would be an injustice to you and to how i truly feel about you. love—

“-is a word that is much too soft and used far too often ta ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for ya angel. ya acknowledge my strengths and ya accept my faults. ya make me wanna be a better person every day. so, today i vow ta laugh with ya and comfort ya during times of joy and times of sorrow. i promise ta always pursue ya, ta fight for ya, and love ya unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. ya are my best friend and i’m the luckiest person on earth ta call ya mine- wait are ya crying?"

the audience burst into laughter as you frantically tried to wipe away your tears, punching atsumu softly on the arm. “of course i am, you ass.”

the officiant cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions. “it is the bride’s turn to give her vows. if you may?”

you nodded and atsumu already felt like crying. again. he’d cried that morning while getting dressed and then again when you walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. now, as he watched you pull a folded piece of paper out of your bra, he knew he’d made the right decision in confessing to you, all those years ago.

he also knew he was definitely going to cry again.

“atsumu, falling for you wasn’t falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing that you’re home. today, i want to make you promises that i will always keep. i promise to never stop holding your hand or accepting your kisses. i promise to not hit you too hard when you insult me or call me a gremlin. i promise to share my food with you, to never go to bed angry, and to try and understand your obsession with professional men’s volleyball. i promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for i know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. i choose you. i’ll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, i’ll keep choosing you.

i used to never truly enjoy moments because i was always waiting for what's next. the next thing horrible thing to happen. now that i have you, i enjoy the moment. every moment.

today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but i already belong to you. falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. i love you.”

and at least in this lifetime

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

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mellowswriting · 3 years

Text

bring me to paradise

pairing || Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

word count || 7,136

summary || It takes a lot of work to heal from one’s past. Bucky learns just how worth it it all is.

content || smut [oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, use of good girl, unsafe safe, creampie, Bucky goes a little feral but can we blame him?], domestic bliss, mentions of Sam Wilson, Bucky deserves a healthy and happy relationship okay

a/n || this took so. fucking. long. but it was so worth it! plus there’s more coming in this little fic universe and i’m hype as fuck

read part two here!

Main Masterlist | Join the taglist!

The first time Bucky felt you touch him, he almost flinched. All he had done was make some dry joke, but you had tossed your head back with a full-bodied laugh and your hand fell to his shoulder as you tried to steady yourself. That simple touch was enough to have him in his head for the rest of the day. It made him realize how much he missed little things like the touch of another. And fuck, that was terrifying.

But it was addictive, and the fact that you didn’t let up with your touches only made him crave it that much more.

You seemed to communicate best through physical touch. Once he got you going, you could talk about something you loved for hours and the entire time you would be placing your hand on his for emphasis or playfully nudging him with your knee when he teased you for rambling. Movie nights would always see you curled up on his couch with your knees barely brushing his thigh, your head nearly resting on his shoulder as you watched the tv and he watched you. The moment the movie got intense, your hand would curl around his bicep as if he was the anchor that kept you in place and it made him feel important. Needed.

It shouldn’t have surprised him that you made the first move. Bucky had been mulling it over the entire day but managed to talk himself out of kissing you every time the opportunity arose but apparently, you were over the wait. The town square was bustling with people who were also there to see the nearly thirty foot high Christmas tree light up for the first time of the holiday season but you managed to weasel you both to the front of the crowd. You hooked your arm with his to keep yourself steady as you stared up at the tree in excitement, and Bucky couldn’t be bothered with the festivities when you looked so beautiful next to him.

Bursts of color filled the town square, backed by a chorus of excited cheers from the crowd around him, but Bucky couldn’t tear his eyes off of your face. Red and blue and green reflected in your eyes and the smile you wore was brighter than any damn Christmas tree could ever be. Those beautiful eyes turned to him and he was lost in the happiness they held. He barely realized you were leaning closer until the second before your lips met his.

That first kiss had the rest of the world falling away into oblivion. The crowd disappeared, the excited chatter faded into background noise, and all he could feel was the chilly tip of your nose grazing his skin and the soft fabric of your gloved fingers against his cheek. That first kiss was a chaste little thing and when it broke for a moment, you gave him that same damn smile. He pulled you closer by your waist with needy hands, his chest heaving slightly with every breath, and a brilliant smile broke across his face before he kissed you again.

From then on, Bucky was hooked.

It took him a moment before he could really let himself reach out and revel in your affection, as if he were afraid that once he finally admitted that he craved your attention it would slip away like sand through his fingers. He started slow, trying to grow acclimated to the comfort of another human being, something he hadn’t felt in far too long.

Slowly but surely, Bucky was finding that side of himself once more - the confident, smooth-talking side he never thought he would see again. The first time he made you smile bashfully at him was a memory he would hold onto forever. It was a sweet, simple gesture that did it; a brush of his thumb along your cheekbone and a murmured compliment of how beautiful you looked. It came to him like second nature and for a fleeting moment, he wasn’t the flustered one. You were. But then you whispered that he looked beautiful, too, and he was flustered all over again.

His favorites were the mornings, though - especially those mornings where he woke up to the sun peeking through the window instead of the lingering images of horror that clawed at him in his nightmares. The warmth of your body pressed right to his, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you slept soundly next to him… the sight had him melting even further into you.

“G’morning,” You mumbled with a sigh, reaching back to tussle his hair slightly.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” Bucky let himself lean into your touch. You felt so good like this, all pliant and sleepy and pressing even closer to him, sighing all sweetly when he kissed your neck. A sharp inhale ripped through his chest at the firm press of your ass against his groin and he yanked himself back on instinct. “Fuck, sorry.”

“It’s okay, Buck,” You settled on your back and stretched, a long yawn falling from your lips, and he was struck by how understanding you were. It wasn’t the first time he had woken up hard and aching for you. Surely it wouldn't be the last. You reached for his hand to interlock your fingers with his in a gentle clasp. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” He sighed before he pulled your joined hands up to kiss the back of your hand. The question was unspoken, his answer thinly veiled: no nightmares. The confirmation made a lazy smile curl at your lips and he couldn’t help but peck a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll go start some coffee, yeah?”

It would give him the time to calm himself down at the very least, to stare at the steady drip, drip, drip and try not to think of how soft and supple your body felt against his. Fuck, it wasn’t as if he didn’t want to. Bucky was eager to get back to those mindlessly pleasant parts of life, the ones where he could lose himself between your thighs for hours and not have to think about the world around him, but more than anything he knew he had to be present first. If he let himself get lost in the whirlwind of learning your body, learning all of the places he could bite or suck to make you cry out his name, he worried he would never find himself again.

And if he was going to build his life with you like he wanted, Bucky had to work on himself first. He deserved that. You deserved the best version of himself that he could be. So instead of dragging you down his mattress and fucking you until you forgot your name, Bucky got up and made coffee. You joined him once he called out to you that your much needed caffeine was ready. It didn’t really do much for him in terms of waking him up, but he enjoyed the camaraderie of sipping it with you as you slowly perked up from your sleepiness where you were perched on the kitchen counter.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do anything for the holiday?” Bucky prompted after a moment’s content silence and while he wasn’t surprised that you shook your head, it still made something sad settle in his chest. “C’mon, Sam invited me to a thing with his family. We could go together.”

The warm smile you gave him made him think you would accept his invitation in a heartbeat, but you shook your head. “No, no, go have fun with your friend, Buck.”

“I’d have even more fun if you were there.” He quipped as he moved to stand between your thighs, giving you that little pout that he knew you loved.

“We both know that if I went with you, you’d spend the entire time all over me instead of spending time with Sam.” You teased. Damn. Maybe the pout wasn’t as effective as he thought it was.

“But… I’ll miss you.” Bucky stole a quick kiss as you snickered at his antics.

“I’ll download Snapchat on your phone before you go. That way you’ll get to see my face everyday while you’re gone.” You assured him, pinching his scruffy chin gently with your free hand. “I’ll go with you next year, I promise.”

Bucky paused for a moment at the surety in your voice, the casual admittance that you planned to have him around for the long term, and a smile bloomed across his face, one he hid behind a sudden kiss.

“Sounds good to me.” Bucky slipped his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants and handed it to you before stepping away to refill your coffee mug. “Doll?”

“Yeah?” You mumbled as you tapped away at his phone screen.

“What the hell is Snapchat?”

It turned out that Snapchat was his new best friend. The moment Bucky left for Sam’s, he was missing you, so getting to see the cute little pictures you sent him throughout the day eased that need to be with you. It took him a hot second and a few slightly embarrassing tips from Sam’s nephews, but he got the hang of it. You seemed to adore the pictures he sent in return. Every time he got that notification that you took a screenshot, it made a ridiculous flurry of butterflies erupt in his belly.

Of course, it didn’t help that either Cass or AJ blabbed to their uncle that “Uncle Bucky has a girlfriend!” and ever since, Sam had been trying to pry his phone from his hands. He managed to catch a glimpse of a picture featuring you posed with one of the stray cats you regularly fed over Bucky’s shoulders and simply… would not shut up.

“Damn, man, you got yourself a cutie, huh?” Sam cajoled, shoving at his friend’s shoulder roughly.

“Shut up, Sam.” Bucky grumbled, but the words had no heat behind it. In fact, he was biting back a smile.

“Hey, I’m just glad you aren’t out there being a hermit anymore. You never would’ve come out here before her.” Sam’s voice lost that teasing quality, something sincere taking its place. “Why didn’t you bring her out here? Afraid I’d embarrass you?”

“No, she just wanted me to have a good time. Thought I’d be too focused on her to enjoy the holiday with you guys.” Bucky shrugged.

“...oh, so she’s cute and she’s thoughtful? You’re a lucky guy.” Sam said with a chuckle.

“Damn right I am.”

The first time you video chatted with him, he had to lock himself in his car just to get Sam to leave him alone long enough to talk to you without the interruption of his friend desperately trying to introduce himself. For whatever reason, Sam was completely convinced that he and you would become best friends the moment he got to talk to you and Bucky really did not have the energy for the amount of chaos the two of you would create together. Sure, Sam smacked his palms on the window for a good five minutes before giving up, but Bucky still got to talk to you somewhat uninterrupted.

“I miss you, Mr. Barnes.” You chirped through the phone and Bucky’s heart twisted in his chest.

“I will literally start driving home right now.” Bucky jingled his keys in his hand for the full effect, chuckling along with you when you cracked up. “I’m not kidding. I’ll leave all my stuff and be there in a couple hours.”

“We can both wait two more days.” You chided gently. “I just wanted to remind you that I’m thinking of you.”

“I miss you too, doll.” He couldn’t help the feeling that expanded in his chest, one that spoke to that core need to be seen and to see another as their whole being. He cleared his throat before continuing. “You know, Sam is really excited to meet you. He keeps trying to steal my phone.”

The sight of you throwing your head back to laugh was something he missed greatly, even though it had only been a few days. He watched with a small smile as you settled on the bed, the phone apparently propped up on the nightstand from the angle. “You know, I might just hit him up myself then, since you’re so hell bent on not letting me make a new friend.”

Bucky groaned. “I never should’ve told you that. Why did I tell you that?”

“Because you love me and love telling me everything that pops into that pretty little head of yours.” You teased and fuck if you weren’t right. Ever since coming back, he wasn’t much of a talker but you brought something out in him. He wanted to tell you everything, to hear anything you thought about.

“You’re right, you know. I do love you.” Bucky said sincerely. Your hands paused where they were methodically working lotion into your legs and your expression softened.

“I love you, too.”

The sweet moment hung in the air for a moment, dripping with honeyed affection - and was broken by the all too familiar sound of hands smacking at the car window. Bucky sighed heavily and cracked his window slightly. “What, Sam?”

“Dinner’s about done and I ain’t saving you any if the boys get to it first.” Sam griped.

Your gasp could apparently be heard through the tiny crack in the window and Sam zeroed in on his phone screen. “Hi, Sam!”

“Hello pretty girl that Bucky won’t introduce me to!” Sam called back.

“Alright, alright, you two. I’ll be inside in a minute.” Bucky grumbled. He really didn’t want to say goodbye to you, but his stomach was grumbling and he was sure he was ready to pass up the Wilson’s cooking while he still had it. “Two more days.”

“Two more days. You’ve got this.” You gave him that warm smile that positively melted his insides. “I love you, James.”

“I love you, too.”

Two days became one and a half rather easily. Bucky was supposed to get some rest before he took off, but after nearly five hours of staring at the ceiling unable to fall asleep, there was no way he could sit still anymore. Once the Wilson’s were awake and clambering around the house, he did a round of goodbyes, promising AJ and Cass that he would be back soon and accepting Sarah's hug and the plate of brownies she shoved in his hands.

Sam gave him a firm handshake that easily turned into a hug after he helped load up Bucky’s bags. “Are you sure you don't wanna get some sleep before you go?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” He reassured him. “I just wanna get back to my girl sooner rather than later.”

“I hear ya, man. Just pull over if you get too tired, okay?”

“Will do, mom.” Bucky grumbled, earning a well-natured shove to his shoulder.

The drive seemed to take far longer on the way home and even though the radio wasn’t playing anything good and exhaustion was beginning to weigh at his eyes, Bucky felt content. It was a new feeling, one he wasn’t entirely used to just yet, but he loved it. For the first time in what felt like forever, Bucky felt like he belonged. He had the Wilson’s, who essentially adopted him into their family. He had his new therapist, who gave him more insight into the workings of his own mind than he thought possible.

And of course, he had you. You stood by his side as he tried to find himself, all while you offered your support and love. You brought him peace in those moments when he felt frazzled and lost, helped bring him back to reality when the nightmares got the better of him. Slowly but surely, he found the things that made him James Buchanan Barnes, not the Winter Soldier. Little things like how he loves lemon scented soap and that he really isn’t fond of horror movies, but that he loves comedies. And that maybe, just maybe, romantic comedies are his guilty pleasure. You opened up to him, let him see the little parts of you that brought him so much domestic bliss. Like how you refused to wear socks to sleep but always pressed your freezing toes against his calves in the middle of the night no matter how much he squirmed and complained. Or how you had clothes so much nicer than his but still stole his because you love the way he smells. Or how you constantly listened to music while you tidied up, sometimes singing and dancing along like a complete dork as you went.

Bucky really couldn’t get enough of you. That’s why he didn’t even bother grabbing his bags when he pulled into the driveway. Too eager to strip down to his comfortable briefs and wrap you in the longest cuddle in history, he went right inside and began climbing the stairs. He could hear your quiet sigh from the bedroom, probably tired after your day at work, and he couldn’t help but smile. He was ready to give you a nice, deep massage and -

“Bucky...”

That made him stop short. It wasn’t the first time he heard you say that, not by a long shot, but more often than not it was said with an exasperated sigh because he snuck up on you. This time, the sigh was… breathy. Needy.

Bucky couldn’t deny that his jeans immediately grew tighter the moment he realized that not only were you getting off… you were getting off to the idea of him. Fuck, the urge to storm down that hallway and drag your sweet little ass down that bed, to be the reason those desperate moans fell from your lips, was so strong that he could barely restrain himself. He took a deep breath, teeth clenching. Even though he had never had the pleasure of hearing you so lost in your own touch, he could tell you were close. Those little sounds you made became stuttered, broken up by sharp inhales, and fuck, maybe it was wrong, maybe it was invasive, but he wanted to see how pretty you looked when you came, especially if it was his name on your lips as you fell over the edge.

With a steadying breath, Bucky leaned against the bedroom door frame and let his eyes devour the gorgeous sight you made. The light sound of a vibrator he didn’t know you owned buzzed lightly under the sheet strewn haphazardly across your lower body and he watched with bated breath as your free hand toyed with your breasts, your fingers teasing and rolling your nipple with practiced ease. God, he just knew you would feel so fucking good impaled on his cock. You writhed against the sheets, eyes screwed shut and head tipped back into the pillows as your orgasm grew closer. That tension snapped low in your belly and you cried out a soft moan that made his cock twitch, desperate to find out just how loud he could make you scream when he finally made you come on him instead of some toy.

“What a pretty sight to come home to.” Bucky said with a small chuckle and you sat up almost comically quick, your eyes wide, embarrassment beginning to flood your face. “No, no, don’t be embarrassed, doll. You look so pretty like this.”

“I-I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for another few hours?” Your voice was pitched higher than usual.

“Couldn’t wait to get back to you. Can you blame me?” He walked closer and leaned over your prone body, giving you a kiss with a sharp nip on your lip. “What’s got you all worked up?”

“You, obviously.” You said with a laugh. The embarrassment was fading, your natural teasing shining through. “Just the thought of you gets me worked up.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky’s tongue flicked against his bottom lip by habit, his eyes falling to your lips for a moment. The ready admittance of your desire for him only made him that much more firm in his resolve that he was ready. “How about I get you worked up for real?”

You blinked up at him in surprise. “Wait, really? Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you, Buck, I swear I can -”

“You aren’t rushing me, I promise.” Bucky reassured as he sat on the edge of the bed, taking your hand in his. God, your skin felt so soft. “I want this. I want you. I’m ready.”

You stared at him for a moment, your expression near indiscernible, and for a moment Bucky worried he overstepped - until you smiled at him and kissed the back of his hand. “I love you, Buck. It means a lot to me, for you to give me that trust.”

The need to kiss you was too much to bear. You were so sweet, so understanding, it damn near killed him. If there was one thing he had learned in the last few years, it was that he deserved to make his life as happy and comfortable as he possibly could and that right there, holding you close and kissing you in bed was the epitome of that goal. You were so receptive of his touches, never shying away like you were afraid of him despite knowing who he was and what he was capable of, and it filled him with a sense of belonging that he couldn’t get enough of.

“It’s a good thing I’m so damn tired,” Bucky murmured against your lips before giving you one last kiss so he could start getting undressed. “Otherwise, I would be fucking your brains out right now.”

The flustered way you shuffled in the sheets made that confidence spark in his chest fiercely. He loved your reaction to his words - he couldn’t imagine how visceral it would be once he actually got his hands on you.

“C’mon, you need sleep.” You said, shaking your head slightly as if to clear away the clouded, lusty thoughts his words brought about, and you slid over to make room for him. “I can’t believe you drove on no sleep, Bucky.”

“I’m a super soldier, doll. I think I can handle it.” He snorted as he slid into the empty space and brought you into his arms, sighing at the warmth of your skin against his.

You tilted your head where you rested against his chest to give him a stern look, one he wasn’t stranger to, and guided him to look you in your eyes with your hand at his jaw. “Be safer next time. For me?”

“I’d do anything for you.” Bucky’s voice rang with sincerity. He kissed you all slow and sweet before settling in for the night, beyond comfortable with you back in his arms.

The feeling of the bed shifting woke him sometime later. The sun was barely up, just beginning to wash the bedroom in a pale orange glow that made the room feel soft and homey. You were getting back into bed with a small sigh and Bucky tucked his arm around your waist to pull your back against his chest so he could sleepily nuzzle the side of your neck. He loved the way you smelled - the coconut of your conditioner, something bright and floral from the perfume lingering on your skin, and something earthy that was simply… you. Nothing made him feel more safe.

More warmth sunk into him as you got settled in his arms and in the little cocoon of blankets, Bucky let himself ease into the waking world. He let his hands wander a lazy path from your belly down your thighs and back up again, his fingertips grazing the curve of your breast. Weeks of habit told him to jerk back, to avoid gaining the intimate knowledge of just how soft and supple your skin would feel in his hands…

… but now he was allowed.

The thought struck him fully awake, splintered through his body like lightning. For once, he wasn’t frustrated by the morning wood he woke up with, he didn’t feel guilty for dragging you back to press your ass against him. Bucky groaned against your shoulder as you took over the roll of your hips to grind yourself against his aching cock.

“Good morning,” You said with a cheeky laugh as you rolled onto your back, settling him with a smile that took his breath away. He could look at the smile for the rest of his life and be content, but he couldn't deny that the way you pulled him in for a kiss was even better.

Bucky was quick to kneel over you, to pull you underneath him as he settled between your thighs, one hand braced in the pillows and the other curled at your chin to angle you until he could get as close as possible. It wasn’t until the gentle rocking of your hips resumed that he really beared down to meet your movements with a deep groan.

It felt almost primal, the desperate rutting against each other and messy kisses that were all teeth and tongue, and it was exactly what Bucky needed. The need to fuck you like his life depended on it had always been there, was always thrumming in the background of his mind, but now that he was finally getting to scratch that itch, it was the only thing he could think about. Nothing else registered in his brain - just the idea of finally splitting you open on his cock.

Bucky sat upright, something dark flashing through him at the sight of the excitement in your eyes, and grabbed you by your forearm, guiding your hand to the bulge in his briefs.

“You see what you do to me?” Bucky gritted out, biting back a groan when you began stroking him through his underwear. His cock twitched, an obscene dark spot forming on the grey fabric. “That’s all for you, doll.”

You whined quietly, your eyes fixed on the way he thrusted against your hand. God, you were gonna be the death of him. A few kisses and light touches and you were a desperate mess, so needy for him to fuck you like you deserved.

“You look so damn pretty under me, don’tcha sweetheart?” Bucky released your arm and let his hand slide up your shirt, his thumb brushing over your nipple before he pinched the sensitive bud gently. You arched into his touch, your hand pausing where you teased his cock as you inhaled sharply. “I can’t wait to fuckn’ ruin you.”

Bucky stripped you down with eager hands, the offending pajamas disappearing somewhere on his bedroom floor, and the sight of you staring up at him with so much excitement and love in your eyes had him nearly ravenous, desperate to dig into you like a man starved. There was no preamble - Bucky flattened himself against the mattress, his hands guiding your legs to drape over his shoulders, and he finally - finally - buried his face between those thighs he fucking loved.

You buried your hand in his hair with a tight grip that made him practically growl against you, his cock twitching as he rutted against the bed with sharp jerks of his hips. You weren’t expecting him to delve right in, to swirl his tongue around your clit like a goddamn expert, as if he had been tongue-fucking you for years and knew exactly how you wanted it.

“Oh my g-od!” You stuttered out, your hips rocking in an attempt to grind against him for more.

“Name’s Bucky, sweetheart.” Bucky teased, smirking when you lamented the loss of his tongue with a desperate cant of your hips and a whine. “My needy little girl, huh? You wanna cum on my face?”

“Yes!” You gasped out.

Bucky teased your entrance with two fingers, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he took in the sight of you in all your glory. “How ‘bout my fingers? Want me to fuck you with my fingers, doll?”

“Fuck, please! Please let me cum, Bucky.” Those sweet, begging eyes were the most intoxicating thing he had ever seen, seemingly so innocent even as you begged him to make you cum, and Bucky wanted nothing more than to see that sweetness break, to see you break.

Bucky was quick to give you exactly what you were begging for, sliding his fingers knuckle deep as he swirled his tongue over your clit, the dual assault making you cry out so prettily for him. His fingers curled, searching for that one spot he knew would make you see stars, and he knew he found it when your pussy clenched around him, your back arched and head tossed back into the pillows as you let out a gasping moan.

Pride lashed through him at just how quickly he managed to make you come undone for him, at how many more times he planned to make you cum today alone. You were so slick for him, his fingers pulling out of your dripping pussy with ease, and it only stroked his ego that much more. The pulse of his cock, still trapped in his briefs, was hard to ignore. As he pressed featherlight kisses to your thighs and belly, Bucky reached down to shove a hand in his underwear and tease himself, nearly hissing at the relief his hand brought. Fuck, he hadn’t been so hard and achy in forever, so desperate to lose himself in mindless fucking until he finally got to bury his cum deep inside of you.

Bucky shifted back as you moved to sit up and captured his lips in an unexpected kiss. He held you close by his hand at your cheek, happy to get this little bit of sweetness as you came down from your orgasm - until your hand slipped beneath the waistband of his briefs and wrapped around his cock, pumping him as he started meeting every roll of your wrist, practically fucking into your hand with a groan. It was almost too much for him to handle, finally getting to crowd against you and seek pleasure in your touch as you helped him out of his last scrap of clothes.

He stopped you when you leaned down. It wasn’t that he didn’t want that - fuck, he just knew you would look so pretty on your knees for him, looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes with his cock stuffed down your throat. But he knew if he got to fuck your mouth like he wanted to, he would blow his load right there and he wanted to fuck you like he had been dreaming of for so fucking long.

You smiled at him, pecking his lips sweetly before saying, “Next time, then. I wanna taste you before today’s over, it’s only fair.”

Bucky’s brain short circuited at that but before he could gather himself enough to tease you for being so cock hungry, you slid onto your hands and knees right in front of him, your back arched to give him the perfect view of just how badly you needed him to fuck you. Your inner thighs were slick, hips swaying slightly as if to entice him forward - as if he needed any more temptation. Bucky grabbed two handfuls of your ass with a low groan, spreading you open to look his fill before he gave you a light swat. You wiggled against him, earning another, slightly harsher swat to your ass before you felt him run the tip of his cock along your slit.

“Impatient,” Bucky grunted. “Don’t worry, doll, I’ll give you what you need.”

Your sharp inhale as he finally split you open on the head of his cock was drowned out by the loud, broken moan from the super soldier desperately trying to hold back from slamming into you. Bucky knew he was big, knew you would need time to adjust to how thick he was, but it didn’t help that you felt like fucking heaven around him.

“Fuck - so fuckin’ tight doll…” Bucky’s hand tightened around your hip, sure to leave all kinds of pretty bruises that he would get to appreciate for days after. A beat later and his hips were flush against you, buried balls deep - right where he belonged. Even as he tried to let you adjust, Bucky couldn’t help his little hitched thrusts even though there was no further he could go, nudging against your cervix just the right side of painful. You just felt so fucking good, so wet and tight, he couldn’t help himself. Bucky waited until you were writhing beneath him to set a slow, deep pace, one that had your arms collapsing under your weight until you were face down, his mattress muffling your sweet, devastated sounds - and he couldn’t have that.

“Nuh uh,” He tutted, plastering his chest against your back as he gripped your hair to press your cheek into the bed. “Need’ta hear those pretty moans, doll.”

He pressed his forehead to the sweat-slick skin between your shoulder blades as he rocked into you, the force behind his hips slowly gaining speed with every little whimper and moan. Metal fingers teased your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm, and Bucky spits out a groan when the stimulation makes your pussy quiver around him, but he doesn’t let up, teasing and edging you as he kisses and licks and bites his marks into your skin. The imprint of his teeth in your shoulder makes something hot and possessive slither up his spine.

“Fuck!” You cried out as his fingers left your clit just as you got close to a devastating orgasm, your thighs trembling under the combined weight and the need that coursed through your body.

Bucky took pity on you. You whimpered in dismay when his cock slipped out of you, immediately feeling the empty ache, but it didn’t take long for him to guide you on your back and slide right back inside. Fuck, you looked so good like that, all fucked out and cock drunk. He took a moment and brushed the stray hairs from your face as he rocked his hips, smirking when you tried to lean up and kiss his lips, your eyes dazed with pleasure.

“How’s my doll, hm?” He cooed before kissing your forehead between thrusts that were rapidly growing harsher.

“I need to cum,” You gasped out, your voice hitching with each roll of his hips. Your hands slipped from where they dug into his shoulders to cradle either side of his face, your voice drowning in need. “Please, please let me cum?”

“Oh, sweet baby,” Bucky’s hand slipped between your bodies and the moment he found your clit, you trembled. He watched, enraptured as your eyes fluttered and rolled back, your hips grinding up to meet his every touch. “Cum for me,”

If the sight of your second orgasm wrecking its way through you wasn’t enough to have Bucky nearly spilling inside of you, the feeling of your pusssy fluttering around him certainly would’ve had him on the verge. He bit his bottom lip harshly, not entirely sure why he was putting himself through the delicious torture of fighting off his orgasm when he could’ve cum with you right then and there.

“Good girl,” Bucky whispered, peppering your neck and cheeks with kisses as you fought through the fog of pleasure. His praise made you squirm slightly underneath him, a cock drunk smile curving your lips, and Bucky chuckled. “You like hearing that, huh? That you came all over my cock like a good girl?”

“Yours,” You whispered, drawing him close enough that your lips grazed his when you continued. “Your good girl,”

Bucky kissed you, hard and messy, ripping a gasp from your lips as he lost himself in rutting into you with abandon. His face fell to your neck as you hitched your thighs higher to meet his reckless thrusts, one hand buried in his hair and the other clinging to his back. A broken moan ripped through him as he finally let himself go, finally filled you with his release. Euphoria sang through his entire body and he sunk into you, letting his full weight rest on you.

“I love you, James.” You whispered in his ear as you brushed your hand through his hair.

A lazy kiss was pressed to your neck. “Love you so much.”

Bucky let himself bask in it all - the aftermath of his orgasm, the slightly-too-much feeling of your exhausted pussy still fluttering around him as he softened, the trail of your fingertips through his hair. It took him a moment to be able to really feel his legs again, but when he could, he eased off of you to settle on his side and take in how beautiful you looked. You still looked flush with afterglow, your body littered with evidence of how hard he fucked you. Fingertip bruises were just beginning to bloom on your hips and your shoulder and neck bore reddened bite marks.

“I didn’t hurt you, right?” Bucky whispered.

“Hm? God, no.” You reassured him, reaching out to caress his face. His eyes closed as he leaned into the touch and kissed your palm. When he opened his eyes, you were smiling at him so softly, your eyes full of affection, and it took his breath away. “I loved everything you did. Besides, I think your bruises suit me.”

Bucky groaned, his spent cock twitching with interest at your sultry words. “Careful talkin’ like that, doll.”

“Mhmm, I’m so intimidated.” You hummed teasingly before kissing him all soft and sweet in the way that made his chest ache with how much he loved you. “Whatcha wanna do today? I’ve got the next few days off work, figured we could spend it together.”

“Absolutely,” Bucky accepted without a second thought. “How ‘bout I make us some breakfast?”

“Take a shower with me first?” You asked, and he could never say no to you when you gave him those puppy dog eyes.

Bucky never really understood the prospect of showering with someone else. It always seemed like it would be a hassle, trying to fit two people in a space meant for one, but once he was watching you giggle at him through the steam fogging the air as he struggled to open your shampoo, he got it. There was a duality to it; the sweet teasing each other and simple intimacy of getting to help you clean up. The gentle way you massaged shampoo into his hair had him feeling like jelly, all loose and wiggly as he leaned down to let you work your fingers against his scalp.

“Does that feel good?” You chuckled at his happy humming.

“So good,” He grumbled as you tilted his head back to rinse his hair, steadying himself with his hands on your hips. Once you let go of his hair, Bucky wiped the water from his eyes and reached for his body wash to lather it up, tutting at you when you went to take the loofa from his hands. The moment he started washing your chest you melted under him, a content smile on your face. “I love doin’ this.”

“...you mean washing me?” You teased, your hand trailing down his chest and belly, feeling your fill of his water slick skin.

“Mhmm,” He murmured as he turned you around to give your back the same gentle treatment. “I love takin’ care of my girl.”

Bucky didn’t even get the chance to finish his task. You turned in his grasp and kissed him, your arms curling around his shoulders as you pressed him against the cool tile of the shower. He didn’t mind though. Not when he got to cradle you against him, so close and soaking wet.

It took far longer than it should’ve, but neither of you complained when the cold water ran you out of the shower. Besides, Bucky adored the casual way you walked around his bedroom completely naked, drying your hair with one of his towels and stealing clothes from his dresser. Dressed in only a pair of your underwear and one of his shirts, you pranced out to the living room to get comfortable on the couch.

He had never appreciated the open floor plan of his place until then. Every few minutes Bucky would glance over the island to where you were in his living room, tapping away diligently at your laptop. Your teeth would dig into your bottom lip every now and then when you were deep in thought, wrestling with whatever it was that you were writing until you got it exactly how you wanted. It was adorable and suddenly Bucky was imagining spending every single day like that. Waking up with you to the orange hues of the morning sunrise, cooking you breakfast as you worked on whatever it was your heart desired, eating with you on the couch while some stupid show played in the background.

And more.

He wanted to introduce you to Sam, even though he was certain you would bring on a world of chaos the moment the two of you combined your powers of mischief. He wanted to take a vacation somewhere beautiful and sunny, to watch you lounge by a beach somewhere with a smile on your face and your fingers curled with his. He wanted the playful arguments of whether you should order pizza or thai. He wanted it all. With you.

Bucky popped a slice of strawberry between your lips, his heart fluttering when you licked the juices from his fingers with a giggle. “Move in with me.”

You looked at him with comically surprised eyes, frozen mid-chew of your fruity breakfast. “...what?”

“Move in with me.” Bucky repeated. He knew it was the right thing, the next step in his life with you, but his heart pounded in his chest anyway. He nervously licked his lips before he continued. “You’re always here anyway. There’s no use in renting an apartment you never stay in. You love my place and it feels empty when you aren’t here so… move in with me.”

You blinked at him once, twice, and then a brilliant smile broke across your face. “Of course.”

Bucky abandoned the plates of breakfast on his coffee table and hauled you into his lap, barely able to kiss you through the smiles on both of your faces, and he couldn’t wait to spend the entire day like this. And tomorrow. And the day after that.

{Taglist}

@janebby @bloodsuckingbastards @mtjoi @triggerhappyflygirl @asta-lily @peterpstuff @amneris12 @mummifymecaptain @livstilinski @itssmashedavo

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x female reader

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