#I’d rather spend my days off with them doing nice things even if it means suffering a government office alone

[foldingfittedsheets]

So on Tuesday my wife and I dropped off the paperwork to register as legally married and as part of that I want to finally legally change my name. I haven’t used my deadname in decades and I’m so ready.

But the very nice lady at the Recorders office said we’d need to go through Social Security for name changes. Since we were already in the city we walked to the SS office.

The ground floor was like a TSA, with scanners and guards. They asked, “Do you have any weapons?”

We both did. My wife held out their cute Swiss Army knife which got an immediate pass. Mine caused more issue, though. It’s a cute little knife, it folds up to look like a leaf and unfolds into a blade. I showed the man and he looked gravely concerned.

When he asked to see it closer I obliged, folding it closed so I could take it off my key ring to hand over. And this man. This buff security man. Could not open my cutesy little knife to save his life. He futilely pawed at it from all different angles while I tried to say, “Look, you can see the hinge, just pull at the top…”

Finally he had to hand it back so I could open it for him. Then two other men came over and all three Very Serious Security Men in a Federal Building pored over my tiny cute knife with great intensity and concern. A ruler was produced and they conferred in hushed whispers.

I was honestly trying not to laugh when he finally passed it back and said I could keep it, but cautioned me not to pull it out. I solemnly agreed, returning my tiny weapon to my key ring.

#ramblies #ended up bailing on the security office though #it was very bad vibes and my wife was suffering #I’ll try to go Friday to the smaller one by us #I’d rather spend my days off with them doing nice things even if it means suffering a government office alone

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 as your boyfriend

a/n: these get progressively longer the more you go on and that’s my bad, i’m just insane over this group idk …

notes: long hair is implied in jiwoong’s, yujin is not included due to his age!, i did not proofread this so sorry for typos

wc | 3.5k

jiwoong

i think this would be so much fun in the like adult way … like doing taxes together and watching tv shows

dating jiwoong means SETTLING DOWN!!! this is for the long run for real

in all seriousness i think being jiwoong’s s/o means you will feel very secure at all times

he isn’t interested in anyone but you … like seriously

looks at you like you’re the only person on the planet when you’re out and about

if anyone hits on him, he shuts it down SO fast that you’ll barely have time to process what happened

in terms of love languages, i’d say his is probably acts of service in both giving and receiving

there’s no better way to show him that you love him than taking care of little chores around the house (especially the ones he usually does) or picking up some toothpaste when he’s running low

in the same way, he loves to do those things for you—he really appreciates the way you smile when you find out he did the dishes for you <;<3

overall, a very sweet relationship, and a very very long-term one

IT’S ALMOST LAUGHABLE how gentle Jiwoong is as he braids your hair, pulling each strand off your head with such precision and cautiousness that you’d think he was braiding strands of pure gold. Weddings were long events, and you’d noticed that, every time you went to one, you ended up with a million knots in your hair that you had to spend extra time brushing out after.

So, Jiwoong had the bright idea to braid your hair—and insisted he do it for you, so that you wouldn’t have to keep your arms raised for so long, or something. You just didn’t think he’d try this hard at it.

“You can go a little faster, you know,” you said, painting your eyelashes with mascara. “If you go any slower, we’ll be late to the ceremony.”

“We can just sit in the back,” he mumbled, continuing to put one strand over the other. “I need to make sure it’s well-done so it doesn’t just knot your hair even worse than leaving it down does.”

You sighed, a little smile appearing on your face. “Whatever makes you happy,” you sighed, continuing to put on your mascara. “Who am I to say no?”

zhang hao

i feel like the most prominent part of dating zhang hao is trying to figure out how you scored him LOL

i mean look at him … he's so perfect it’s almost painful

and he’s such a good boyfriend that literally all of your friends are so jealous … and he’s the only guy they haven’t called ugly so that’s a plus LOL

i will say though dating him has to mean you’re really comfortable with yourself because just about everyone shoots their shot with him

obviously he turns them down but he’s too nice to do it in a way where they’ll actually be scared off (cough jiwoong cough)

he’s very loving and very appreciative, and loves hearing about everything you do

tbh he just loves you

his love language is definitely physical touch, but in the like sweetest way possible

he holds your hand and swings it around when you’re out and about, he leans his head on your shoulder when you watch movies, he puts his head in your lap when you’re sitting on the couch…

and he always stares at you, which is super nerve-wracking, but he just loves you so much that he can’t help it

seriously has heart eyes for you

IT’S NOT ALWAYS that your mom calls, but you supposed today just had to be the day. As much as you love her, she tends to talk your ear off, which is something you’d rather not deal with at a random time in the middle of your day. Nevertheless, it was better to get it over with now rather than later.

Hao had been napping with his head on your lap when she called, and you’d hoped that would be a good excuse to hang up. Except, when you pleaded with your mom, telling her that Hao was sleeping and you didn’t want to wake him, she insisted that she needed to talk to you right then. So, for the past twenty minutes, you’d been listening to her talk about her knitting club while you ran your hand through his hair.

You’d also failed to notice that Hao had been awake since before she’d even called. Initially, he just wanted a few more seconds laying on you before you kicked him off (because your thighs were cramping and you needed to stretch), but he’d been pleasantly surprised when your attention was stolen by the phone call.

So, when you looked down and saw him staring at you oh-so-lovingly, you choked on air, causing your mom to frantically ask you what was wrong. All the while, he stared at you, wondering how he managed to find you (but shouldn’t you be asking that)?

hanbin

if you’re feeling unloved, just date hanbin and he will fix it right up for you

he is an endless pit of love and is just waiting to give it to someone (that someone happens to be you)

you’re like 90% sure he popped out of a cheesy romance novel and wandered straight to your door but i digress

everything about this guy is so pleasant that it’s almost nauseating

his mom, how clean his bedroom is, how much he happens to enjoy cooking, how much he loves all the things you suggest as date ideas, it’s so much that your friends are suspicious that he’s hiding something incredibly unforgivable

he’s not, though, he’s just like that

and he just happened to be truly, madly, deeply in love with you so congrats on that one!!!

hanbin’s love language is also physical touch (shocker)

he’s super clingy, especially when you go out together, and has to have a hand on you at all times (if you get separated it will literally ruin his day)

really loves to cuddle with you…for example, if you decide to take a nap without him, you will wake up wrapped in his impossible to escape koala hug

he also loves kisses. forehead kisses, cheek kisses, all kisses … he especially loves it when you kiss his tattoos

he gets super enamored with you when you give him the same energy back, so try that out, too

EVERY DAY, YOU GET HOME from work around the time Hanbin’s decided to start dinner, and, every day, you attempt the same little prank. Slowly, you enter your home, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

The sound of the nightly news fills your ears, and the smell of whatever Hanbin decided to make attacks your nose. As subtly as possible, you put your bag and keys down on a dresser you have in the entryway, removing your shoes and tiptoeing through the house as quietly as possible.

As usual, Hanbin’s back is facing the doorway, and he’s hunched over the stove, fiddling with whatever he’s making. You tip-toe run up to him, bumping into him and wrapping your arms around his waist. He giggles, as usual, and puts his hands on your arms.

“Hi,” you say into his back, which prompts him to turn around in your embrace, staring down at you with the most loving expression he could muster up.

And, placing a kiss on the crown of your head, he says, “I missed you.”

matthew

CUTE BOYFRIEND!!!

matthew is like so clueless in a relationship and he’s just kind of winging everything, which makes him about 70% funnier

you’ll be out shopping and he’ll pick something up, usually a trinket of sorts, look you dead in the eyes, and say, “is this something people get for their partners?”

if you say yes, it will magically appear in your bedroom like 4 days later and he’ll be oh-so proud of himself

your parents LOVE matthew, to the point where you begin to wonder if they like him more than they like you

it’s nice, though, because they’re more willing to help pay for your utility bill if they know matthew’s benefitting from it too LOL

he’s such a sweet boyfriend that sometimes you like need to stop and put your phone down

his love languages are words of affirmation on the receiving end and gift giving on the giving end

when you’re away from one another, he texts you selfies along with cute little summaries of what he’s doing and absolutely expects you to do the same

also sends good morning/good night texts if he can’t say it in person for whatever reason

also has some like tiktok-worthy beige flags (the comments say they’re all green flags)

like he asks you what your ring size is like once a month and then comes home with ring pops and goes “i had them custom made to fit your finger”

and you’re like “omg matthew i can’t believe you would do that for me!!!”

MATTHEW’S HANDS ARE poorly covering your eyes as he leads you to this mystery-location that he’d spent the entire day hyping up. He swore it was going to absolutely blow you away, and had even said that you’d be at a loss for words.

“We’re almost there,” he said, excitement dripping from his words. “Be careful, there’s a couple of steps here.”

You did your best to ascend without face planting, although it was a bit difficult given that Matthew was unknowingly rushing you due to his excitement. “Okay, are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

In a flash, he removed his hands from your eyes, and it takes you a second to realize what you’re staring at. It’s a table cutely decorated for some sort of picnic, with string lights overhead and a candle burning on the table. You realize you’re in your parents backyard pretty quickly, but the thing that really has you confused is the teddy bear sitting on the edge. It looks exactly like the one you carried around as a kid, albeit much cleaner—but you’d lost it when you were 10.

“I tore apart your house looking for it,” Matthew said, putting his head on your shoulder. “Mr. Tumnus, right? Like the Narnia character? He was behind the couch. I got him cleaned, too. Do you like it?”

taerae

swoon

UGHHHH taerae is so perfect

like he’s totally the boy next door, locker neighbor, church boy type of boyfriend

he asked you out on valentine’s day with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of like really pretty chocolate-covered strawberries and you’ve been whipped since

you’re both wrapped around each other’s fingers in the most severe way possible

you’re also definitely like a married couple, specifically a couple of grandparents who’ve been retired for like 30 years

you probably share a friend group, and everyone in the group considers you two the parents of the group (you’re the dad)

almost always, you have a third wheel, but that’s fine because you and taerae are good at making sure it’s not awkward (which is why people always want to come on your dates)

taerae’s love language is definitely quality time

more often than not you’re both doing something completely separate from one another and he doesn’t care, he just likes knowing that you’re around

i don’t see him being the touchiest person, even in a relationship, so spending time together is the only thing taerae needs to feel loved. if you never blow him off and spend all of your free time just sitting next to him, he’ll be entirely pleased forever and ever

SOMETIMES, YOU FORGET that Taerae is in the room with you, which tends to be more embarrassing than you’d have wanted it to be.

Once, early in your relationship, he’d come over and you’d been spending time in your room. Except, hours had passed without you saying a word to each other, and you’d forgotten he was even there in the first place. You were so engrossed in your latest craft project, attempting to crochet, that he’d blended into the scenery of your bedroom.

So, when you kept messing up on a particular stitch, you found it fit to stand up and absolutely scream at the top of your lungs. When you got done, you planned to sit down and keep doing, but you heard Taerae laugh nervously behind you, causing you to freeze up.

“Uh, what was that?”

You turned around, staring at him with what could only be described as horror written on your face. You stared at one another in complete silence for what felt like hours, although in reality it must’ve been no more than five or six seconds.

“I forgot you were here,” you finally choked out, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Taerae just laughed, and it only made you feel more miserable.

“You’re adorable, you know?”

ricky

ricky is such a sweet boyfriend

even if he’s a bit awkward at times he’s so nice to be around

i think he just cares about you so much that he fluctuates in the same way that you do…if you’re happy, he’s happy, if you’re sad, he’s sad, etc…

at the same, he’s always completely panicked that he is not doing enough for you

he constantly checks in to make sure that you are getting what you need from him, and, while he wouldn’t say it aloud, he appreciates it when you do the same

he doesn’t like conflict so he pretty much does anything he can to get rid of the problem before it happens

as such, if he finds out anything upsetting, he will approach you about it instantaneously

i think ricky’s love language is gift giving, though, both on the receiving end and on the giving end

whether it’s an origami flower made out of a receipt you got or a pretty necklace you found while out and about with friends, ricky treasures it like it’s his child

almost every gift you’ve gotten him is displayed in his room somewhere, like he’s got a whole shelf dedicated to things that you gave him …

all of his gifts are incredibly well thought out too even if they’re last minute

he also tends to just give you anything that you express literally any interest in

you like the hat he’s wearing? okay it’s yours now

“no i mean that i like it on you!!”

he doesn’t care it’s yours now

THANKS TO A FAMILY VACATION, you hadn’t been able to see Ricky for a week, which had been the end of the world for both of you. So, the moment you got back home, you ditched the comfort of your room to head straight to his house.

The moment he opened his front door, you collapsed into his arms, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of laundry detergent coming from his sweater. Then, you realized that the sweater he was wearing was new.

You leaned back to get a better look at it, taking it in. “I like it!” you exclaimed, smiling up at him. He tilted his head in confusion, staring back down at you.

“Like what?”

“The new sweater.”

Without even skipping a beat, Ricky tugged it over his head, causing your mouth to drop open a bit. “Wait, no—”

Before you could finish your sentence, he’d pulled it over your head, and was waiting for you to put your arms through the sleeves. He smiled, happy with his sudden attack. “I knew you would, so I got two.”

gyuvin

dating gyuvin is so much fun

you were probably friends before you started dating, so when you start dating, it’s like your friendship amped up 200% along with like some kissing and stuff LOL

he knows you inside and out, to the point where you wonder if he knows you better than you know you

he also definitely had a crush on you for a loooong time before he acted on it so he remembers little details you shared in passing from years in the past

as such he’s constantly taking you out on the most lovely dates you could possibly imagine

you mentioned you like hot chocolate two years ago on a friend group outing? well good news! gyuvin remembered and he’s taking you to a world-renowned cafe that’s specifically noted for its hot chocolate

you like barbie movies???? every single one is downloaded onto his computer. every one. and he knows which one is your favorite

i think gyuvin’s love languages are acts of service + quality time

he just likes doing things for you and he likes doing things with you too … he just likes you tbh

he’d be heartbroken if you ever said no to one of his meticulously planned out dates so make sure to never do that (his friends would also hate you instantly and being hated by sung hanbin AND park gunwook is terrifying so don’t do that)

strangely enough, when you reciprocate the energy and plan out intense dates based on little tiny information, he gets super flustered, so try it out if you can

THE FIRST THING that comes out of Gyuvin’s mouth when he comes into your living room is, “You remembered?”

You’re almost taken aback by the question, eyes widening the moment the words leave his mouth. He was asking you that? After he remembered every little detail about you, from your favorite episode of your favorite show to your favorite breed of dog?

“Of course I remembered that you like soccer. How could I forget that you like soccer?”

You’d set up a little mini-party for the both of you to watch the World Cup, equipped with snacks and a jersey for his favorite team. And, somehow, he was a blushing mess, as if he didn’t expect you to remember something so basic about him.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, turning away from you as he turned beet red. “I just…I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, expect it more often,” you said, linking your arm with his, a bright smile on your face. “Cause I love you. And I love doing things for you.”

gunwook

yea gunwook is definitely your first love and you’re really hoping he’ll be the last

you probably had some sort of super dramatic lead-up to you actually getting into a relationship, so you’re also probably super attached to each other by the first day you’re calling him “boyfriend”

even though he’s young, gunwook feels a lot of responsibility for everything in his life, so being with you is essentially his wind-down time

as a result you have a lot of sleepovers, which include doing facemasks and going to bed at like 9pm because he’s so tired

and you just generally spend a lot of time together because you’re an oasis in the middle of the desert for him

gunwook feels really proud that he gets to have the title of “your boyfriend,” so be prepared for him to call himself that a lot

it makes him all giggly and happy, which makes you all giggly and happy, so you’re pretty much giggly and happy 24/7

gunwook’s love language is absolutely words of affirmation

he’s under a lot of pressure (student council vice president, class president, like good lord he is leading the people) so he just wants to hear that he’s doing well, especially from someone he cares so much about

even just telling him that he’s doing his best will make him melt in a pile of i-love-you putty

and he makes sure to do the same for you :)

IT’S NOT OFTEN THAT Gunwook breaks under the pressure, but when he does, it breaks your heart, too. It’s inevitable that he loses his balance sometimes, given the fact that he often takes on way more than he can handle, but you’re always there to pick up the pieces.

“You need to go to bed,” you say as warmly as possible, placing a hand on his shoulder. He continues to write a flurry of numbers onto his paper, trying to fulfill his plans of finishing all his weekend homework so he could spend the majority of it hanging out with you. “You can finish tomorrow morning, okay?”

Gunwook stops, finally, leaning back in his chair. He looks up at you, a frown on his face, and you can tell that he’s starting to unravel. You cup his face in your hands, looking down at him with the calmest smile you can muster.

“You did a good job, tonight. And calculus will be there for you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

You smile, a feeling of triumph overtaking you. “Thank you very much!”

thank you for reading!

#cinna.zb1 #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 fluff #zb1 headcanons #zb1 scenarios #zb1 reactions #jiwoong x reader #zhang hao x reader #sung hanbin x reader #hanbin x reader #seok matthew x reader #taerae x reader #ricky x reader #gyuvin x reader #gunwook x reader

[sleekswosobession]

double wham

patri guijarro x fem!reader

request: here

A/N: only 1 post tonight 😔 sorry guys, been busy with work and this was surprisingly hard to write… so it’s short, sorry anon

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*NOT PROOFREAD*

Today is the day that I finally propose to my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for 4 years and it’s been the absolute best of my life. It seemed fitting because the whole team is going out on a hike through the mountains, so not only will it be scenic but it will also be in front of our other teammates.

I’ve already told Frido, Lucy and Mapi. Who probably told others in the process. So most of the team likely know my plan. The only thing I don’t have control over is the answer Patri gives. I know she’ll probably say yes but I can’t help but feel nervous.

Little did I know.

Patri and I arrive together, as per usual and she immediately goes to sit with Claudia. Again nothing unusual. I go and sit down next to Lucy who has a massive grin on her face.

“Jesus Lucy, I haven’t even asked yet.” I lean over, whispering in a hushed tone.

“Ohhh, I know. Can’t wait to see her reaction.” I squint my eyes, she knows something.

I shrug it off, plugging in my headphones, ready for the hour bus ride we have to make before getting to our destination.

- - - - -

Once we arrive, Mapi pats me on the back before going to annoy Ingrid about something. I make my way to find Patri, interlocking my fingers with her own. Too focused on my own nerves, I fail to see hers.

We start the trek, observing the views of the city and other wildlife around the place. Taking photos every so often. The weather is nice, not too hot and cool enough so that when we do sweat it’s a cooling feeling.

After an hour or so, we make it to the top. The views are absolutely gorgeous as the city is lit up by the glowing sun. In the distance, I can see the bay. The water glistening even from so far away.

(side note why tf do i keep rhyming things help)

This is the moment. I have to ask, so I pull Patri aside and make her sit down. We’re away from most of the others but the views do not miss.

“So what is it?” She asks, slightly nervous.

“Well I… We’ve been dating for quite a while and I thought, there’s no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, soo.” I pause, pulling the box out of my bag.

“Will you marry me?” I ask.

I watch as her smile grows, and she starts laughing slightly.

“What’s so funny?” I smile, confused.

“Because, I was going to ask you the same thing.” She then proceeds to pull out her own box with a ring. Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“Oh God!” I yell into her shoulder, tears streaming out of my eyes.

“Well, I’ll put the ring I got on you, vice versa.” She nods and I take the ring out of the box, placing it delicately on her finger. It’s clear it suits her so well, even if my bank account cried for days. I’m assuming hers did as well.

Because when that ring is put on my finger, all I can think about is how right this feels. To the point I start crying.

“What’s wrong amor?” She wipes the tears away.

“Nothing, this just feels so right. I love you so much bebé” Her hands are on my face still, and she pulls me in for a long kiss.

When it’s done, realisation dawns upon me.

“Wait… do you think all the girls knew? I told Lucy, Frido and Mapi who probably told others and if you told people that means-“ Her eyes also go wide.

“True, very true. How about we go show them ah?” I nod and we get up walking toward everyone else.

“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED BITCHES!” Patri screams.

Most of them respond with the same energy, but all I can think about is how lucky I am to have someone like Patri. Someone I love so deeply.

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #barca femeni #barcelona femeni #patri guijarro #patri guijarro x reader #wlw

[strwberri-milk]

First time requesting so sorry if this sounds weird I just really love how you write Kaeya😭 I’m on an angst-comfort kick so I was wondering if you’d be down to write a fic or Drabble of Kaeya essentially falling out of love with reader and breakup. BUT THEN like a few months or years later they see each other and like try to rekindle things! All good if you can’t/don’t want to though 😭

another pointer towards amidst my memory!! it is more smut based so i got you. a little drabble here that’s just going to be the getting back together like?? first date ish vibes :D

When the two of you broke up, a part of you refused to believe that it was really happening. Kaeya, the Kaeya that devoted his entire being to you, the man that showed you what it means to love someone with your entire being? Leaving you? You couldn’t understand what made him change his mind so abruptly, why when you tried to talk to him about the fact that he became so distant he simply shrugged his shoulders and told you he didn’t love you anymore. You wish he could have at least told you sooner, prevented you from spending even a day more with him than he would have to.

The cold look in his eye paired with the way he closed his body off to you just solidified things for you and you decided then that if that’s how he felt about you then you could walk away from him too.

That didn’t stop you from missing him occasionally as time went by, dating other people casually but never knowing if you’d ever feel the same way about them the way you did Kaeya. The two of you just understood each other on a level you never thought you could recreate with anybody else, no matter how badly you wished it could work out. Instead, you just let it be and waited patiently for the day that you would feel that spark again.

You thought that if you saw him again, you’d be okay. You went out of your way to avoid him and that worked for the most part, knowing that seeing him would just reopen old wounds that you didn’t want to deal with right now. However, when he taps you on your shoulder with that soft smile on his face that used to be just for you it invites butterflies rather than nerves.

“Hey. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You don’t have the heart to tell him that somewhere along the way you stopped counting the days until his return, nodding stiffly as you try to escape his attention.

“It has. I’m sure you’re busy with work though so I’ll leave you to it.”

He can feel the way your eyes graze over his form, chest puffing a little in pride at the reminder that he’s worked hard his entire life and even if he is on the slimmer side, he has the muscles to show for it. You can easily see how he’s grown to fill out his clothes more, hands resting on his hips as he shifts his weight to one foot in a way that always seemed to fluster you.

“Not at the moment. I really wanted to see you again and I’m glad I caught you when I did,” he says with a touch of sadness, biting his lip slightly when your brows furrow.

“You wanted to see me again? After what happened I can’t help but doubt that,” you scoff lightly, rolling your eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry for what I said to you. I thought I didn’t love you anymore but I think I was just…afraid of messing things up.” Your ears perk up as he says that, blinking at him incredulously.

“You were just so good to me I started to justify everything nice you did as something malicious. I loved you, I still do. I just ruined everything because I was worried that one day things would end and I’d be caught by surprise and i just couldn’t do that, not with you.”

His hand twitches and you know that he wants to reach out and take your hand in his to interlace your fingers together and you want that more than you thought you ever could in this moment but you keep your hand at your side, Kaeya doing the same as he tries to continue to explain himself.

“I don’t expect us to start over completely, or for you to give me another chance but just know that if you wanted it, I’d say yes.”

His voice is earnest and you can’t hear anything over the rushing of your blood in your ears as you try to process his question. He’s not forcing you to do anything, simply standing in front of you nervously. You can read him much better now than before, recognizing that he was choosing not to hide behind a mask this time. He’s being truthful, trying to earn your trust back.

“Kaeya, I don’t know…” you start, sighing a little as he laughs nervously.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you I don’t expect you to make a decision or expect you to say yes. Really, this is my last ditch attempt to get you to take me back but I know I don’t have much of a shot. I don’t think you waited for me and I don’t expect you would have. It’s fine, really.”

He starts to run again, turning away from you to hide the hurt that he feels despite his words. He really doesn’t want to make you feel like you owe him anything but he can’t deny the sting from your rejection no matter how much he might want to.

“I want to try again,” you mumble quietly, reaching out to take his hand.

He can’t believe his ears, wouldn’t if it weren’t for the loose hold of his fingers in yours.

“I want to try us again. I’ve missed you too.”

Those words make his heart sing again and despite the overwhelming urge to hug you tightly and pepper you in kisses he simply smiles at you, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Thank you. I make sure you never regret it. I’ll spend the rest of my life giving you my love.”

It was those words that sang in your ear years later with the chiming of bells, Kaeya’s lips firmly pressed against yours in the shower of flower petals and well wishes.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader

[littledollll]

Hi! Oh my goodness, I just followed your page and I’m obsessed with your work, it’s so well done! I was wondering if you could write something up for Brienne, where she’s jealous over the reader for dating someone else, when SHE’S the one who rejected the reader’s feelings because she was scared of getting hurt? Could be smut, but I just NEED the confrontation 😭

Walk away

Brienne of Tarth x reader

A/n: the ideas! They’re flowing i can’t stop them! No smut in this part butttt I’m so open to making a part two!!

Warnings: ANGSTTTT, rejection, jealousy

It was a few weeks ago when you confessed your love for Brienne, only to be met with a rejection. You didn’t take her rejection lightly, but you also weren’t going to sit around and wait for true love to fall out of the sky. So after you focused on yourself and got your shit together you started dating again.

It was fun, getting to know people, see what you like and don’t like, see the type of people you just click with, and also have a distraction. You met someone, it stopped being a distraction, you actually liked them, she was nice, a good listener and had a stunning body.

Brienne didn’t care for your dating life, not until you went out with the same girl twice, then thrice, and then it wasn’t just dates, you’d spend most of your week together, so even when Brienne wanted to talk to you she never had the chance to catch you alone.

Tonight you kissed her. Not just a peck or a quick goodbye kiss like you’ve done before, it was practically a make out session in the corner of a bar. A bar Brienne had been dragged out to by other knights. If envy was a person surely it would be her.

The girl took her leave after 10 minutes of torturing Brienne, and that’s when she decided she’d approach you, your smile dropped the second she was close enough to talk to. “Brienne, lovely to see you acknowledge I exist!” She cleared her throat. “Could we talk? Outside?” You looked at her like she just asked you to sell yourself in the brothel down the street.

“I don’t know if I should Brienne, I was busy just a second ago as you saw, by the way green doesn’t look good on you, and I’m afraid I have to get back to my lady in a few, so why should I?”

“I’d like a chance to discuss things.” You laughed. “Now? It’s been weeks Brienne. You know what, I will join you, I’m rather interested in what you’re gonna say to excuse yourself.” You stood from your booth and pulled her along with you to a quieter spot near the bar. “Go on. Talk.”

“I made a mistake, rejecting you I mean, I never explained and you never even knew- I felt- I feel the same way, I always have-“ you looked hurt as she talked, making her pause. “You’re late. So late. I love you Brienne, I do, but I like her, and she likes me, I could grow to love her. She treats me like I deserve, she’s open and sincere, and she doesn’t run away.”

“I- I was afraid. I don’t think you should be with her. I was scared of getting hurt but I’m not anymore.” You sighed. “And that’s understandable but do you have any idea how much it hurt me? When you just rejected me with no explanation. Rejected me and then proceeded to avoid me for days whenever I tried talking to you. The only times I’d ever see you care about my existence is when I’m with somebody else, frankly what you think has nothing to do with me.”

“You could do so much better than her, you don’t like going out every night she’s draining you and you know it” she was right. “It’s not your problem to worry about! I could get used to it. It’s fun, and I’m with her so it’s worth it.” You didn’t want her to be right. “You-“ you cut her off angrily.

“That’s not your problem Brienne, whatever I do, it stopped being your problem the second you turned your back and walked away that day, so please. Let me move on.”

You could see the girl step outside looking for you, you stepped aside from Brienne waving her down she immediately started walking over once she saw you.

“Walk away because you so expertly know how to.”

#gwendoline christie #brienne of tarth x reader #brienne x reader #brienne of tarth #ser brienne #Brienne of Tarth angst #ser Brienne x reader

[saratinz]

Third Time's the Charm (Chapter 2)

pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)

series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut, lots of swearing

chapter warnings ➩ cursing, smut, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (sweetheart, princess), break-up, angst

synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?

word count ➩ 1.7k

a/n ➩ comment your favorite color!

“Morning princess.” 

“What time is it?”

“7:30”

“Mmmmh, good morning.” You respond to the naked man behind you.

“Want breakfast?”

“How do you look so pretty waking up?”

“Breakfast?”

“Fuck me.” You demand.

“What?”

“I want you inside of me, now.”

“Thought I taught you better.”

“Maybe I need to be disciplined.”

“Careful what you wish for.” You roll on top of him, taking him inside your aching hole, lazily bouncing your hips on his until his hands hold you still and he starts hammering into you. Moans and praises fly around the room, going in one of your ears and coming out the other. You are so high off everything Matt that you get close to forgetting your own name. This feeling of bliss you get while he fucks you is like nothing you’ve ever felt. You’ve had your fair share of great orgasms, but something about the way he pleasures you, makes you feel so special. Would it be bad to say that you are happy you got arrested? Probably, but the only thing you care about right now is the intense pleasure building up. “You gonna cum sweet girl? Go ahead, make a mess.” His words push you over the edge. He turned sleepy morning sex into a sport, and one that he would never lose at. It’s nice to be in his arms, coming down from your high. This part of you that has been broken so many times before, is suddenly repaired, just like that. There’s no more need for drugs now, you wanted to be sober for every moment with Matt. You were never the type to wear your heart on your sleeve, but he brought out this side of you, this side that risked everything, just to spend time with him. Just to please him. Just to love him. Pretty soon, he’s reaching his high and filling you up, but you’re still aching for his touch. Aching for his praise. Aching for his love. “C’mere sweetheart, it’s okay.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he’s wiping your tears away. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“I know, I’m just, overwhelmed I guess.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I just, I wanna be with you, because you make me feel good. You warm my heart, you caress my soul, and I’m getting really cheesy aren’t I?”

“I mean, I love cheese.”

“Of course you do, you just have to be perfect in every way.”

“I wish I could really see you, but I do this thing where I touch people’s faces, and it gives me an idea of what you look like. I’d love to do it, if you want.” You grab his hands, bringing them directly to your cheeks. He spends the next minute exploring every part of you, imperfections and all. But even the things you hate most about your appearance, he adores. “You’re so pretty.”

You blush at his words, “No, you.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“The prettiest.”

“I know we met in a weird way, and that we’ve only known each other for a month, but I just know that I’m gonna fall in love with you.”

“Matthew Murdock, you cannot be saying these things, you don’t even know my middle name.”

“It’s Y/m/n.”

“Okay stalker, well I don’t know yours, so, point proven.”

“It’s Michael, point unproven.” 

“Wait this has to be a joke. Your name is Matthew Michael Murdock?”

“Yep.” 

“Your parents are so cool. Will I get to meet them?”

“Ummm, they’re dead.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay just, I really wish you could, they’d love you.”

“You don’t have to lie. I’m sure they’d much rather you date a nice girl.”

“Hey, you are a nice girl.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, honestly I don’t”

“Like, I’m just not the girl you show off, I’m the one you blow off after sex, the fuck-able type, not the date-able type.”

“If you need me to show you how date-able you are, I can introduce you to my friends.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they’ll love you.”

“Okay, let’s do it.”

“Alright, I have to go to the office today, but meet us at Josie’s at 8:00. I’ll text you you address” The two of you exchanged numbers last night.

“Sounds perfect.”

“Goodbye, Y/n, I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, me too. Bye Matt.” When he leaves, you let out an audible sigh. There’s one thing you know for certain; Matt Murdock is going to be the death of you.

When six o’clock rolls around, you start getting ready. It takes an embarrassing amount of time to pick your outfit. It has to have personality, not too mild, but also not too out there. Something just classy enough, not too skimpy, but also not too modest. You go back to basics, picking a long sleeve black dress that stops above your knees, some black tights, black boots, and finally a blazer in your favorite color, for added flare and warmth. You do a natural makeup look consisting of concealer, mascara, and a little bit of blush. You finish off by straightening your hair. Before you know it, it’s 7:30, and you’re leaving, hoping to get there a little early. You’re super nervous, you want so badly to get their approval. Getting there with 15 minutes to spare, you take one last deep breath before entering the building. As you walk in, you spot Matt, who is facing away from you. He senses your presence and you make your way through the vacant bar. “Hi!” You greet him with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Foggy, Karen, this is Y/n. Y/n, these drunks are Foggy and Karen.”

“Hey you guys. It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Karen reaches her hand out to shake yours. 

Foggy, clearly already drunk asks, “Hey do I know you? You look soooo familiar.”

“Umm, I don’t think so. My last name is Y/l/n, I was engaged to Steve Rogers, and then to Bucky Barnes.”

“Oh my god I know who you are. Matt, how’d you pull an Avengers groupie?”

“Foggy.” Matt scolds.

“Oh sorry, Y/n, it just sounds like you’ve got a type.”

“Yeah, well, dating a normal guy is nice. I mean, my type hasn’t gotten me that far.”

“Wait, does she not know?”

“Know what?”

“She knows about my heightened senses.” It seems like there’s something unspoken being said, but you have embarrassing secrets you haven’t told him, so you let it go.

“Hey, I’m ordering drinks. Want anything, Y/n?” Karen asks.

“Umm, no thank you.”

“C’mon it’s on me. Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re pregnant, already.”

“Karen!” Matt scolds again.

“No, but close. I’m actually an alcoholic.” Everyone’s head turns toward you. “Oh, was that an overshare? Shit.”

“No sweetheart, you’re fine.”

“Sweetheart? She has really got you whipped.”

Karen comes back with more drinks, trying to salvage this conversation. “How’d you guys meet anyway?”

“Matt was my lawyer.”

“You’re a criminal?”

“Just possession. Yeah, on top of the whole alcoholism stuff, I am also an ex-junkie. Kind of a double whammy. I’m one month sober though, thanks to this guy.” Matt’s friends exchange glances.

“When did you start dating?”

“Well, we went on our first date yesterday.”

“Wow, so this is like, fresh.”

“Yeah, he hasn’t gotten sick of me yet. And usually guys wait until our wedding day to leave me.”

“I’ve always wondered what happened, how does that end up happening twice?”

“Sorry he’s really drunk.” 

“It’s okay. I went to high school with Bucky, and we stayed friends after he got the serum and became an Avenger. I met Steve, who he had already been married before. I fell for him, hard, but he cheated on me with his ex wife, and got her pregnant.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah. I stayed though, and was gonna become a wife and step-mom. But when Peggy went into labour on our wedding day, he left me for her. That was the first time I had gotten my heart broken. Bucky was there for me, and drugs were helping too. I fell in love with him and taking pills, blah blah blah. Got engaged. He broke it off because he found out about my drug problem, also on the day we were supposed to get married. So, then my addiction to pills evolved to also include coke, and I got caught with it, twice. The second time was last month, and when me and Matt met.”

“Listen, I’m not trying to be a dickhead, but Matt can’t help you. He goes through enough on his own, he doesn’t need your shit too.”

“Okay let’s talk about someone else.”

“No, I wanna talk about the jump from perfect Karen, to crazy Elektra, to coke-head Y/n. Matt do you just like hate yourself or something?” Tears prick your eyes, you’re not typically this sensitive, but something about the topic stung. You get up to leave, Matt following close behind you. 

“Y/n, wait.”

“You said they’d like me Matt.”

“They will, they’re just assholes when they’re drunk.”

“I want to believe you, but I can’t.”

“I’ll talk to them, we can figure something out.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Matt.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m not going to stay and feel like shit, and I’m not gonna be a wedge in your friendship. You deserve better.”

“I love you.”

“Matt, it’s been a day.”

“I know, just, I’ve never fallen for someone like you.”

“A cokehead?”

“Someone who’s broken but stays good anyway.”

“That’s where you're wrong, I’m not good, Matt. Not for you, not for anyone. Just let me be alone.” You start to walk away, but it just all feels wrong. You turn around, running to give him one last kiss. “I love you too, but it’s over, we're done.” With your final words spoken, you walk off into the night.

Previous chapter / Masterlist / Next chapter

#matt murdock angst #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock smut #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader smut #marvel #modern au

[waterfallofspace]

Just something small for D/azai's birthday. Whipped this together pretty quickly, so don't expect anything great, but I love this man so I had to do something~!

Mentions it being his birthday, but it's not focused on that situation, as Poni and Vic already did top quality wavs about that kinda thing! (Totally go check them out, Poni's also features art from Hachii which is ADORABLE!!)

Characters: C/huuya and the Birthday Boy D/azai Word Count: 1.5k (jus a lil short thing!)

(References to violence, swearing, implied death and blood, just in case anyone doesn't like those!)

~~~~~~~

The remnants of their mission lay strewn across the open plains, the smell of copper lingering in the air. Chuuya wipes some dirt from his jacket, pointing a snarl at Dazai. The bastard seems oblivious, a light shining in his eyes as he surveys the scene. One word pounds at Chuuya’s head as he watches. Majestic. 

A light wind whistles through the grass, gliding along the fields as Dazai lifts himself from the ground, wiping something red from his hands. The draft rustles his hair, each strand seeming to dance on the breeze. Chuuya can’t stop himself from looking, mind captivated by the beauty Dazai possesses, even in a place like this. 

“Is Chuuya planning to keep staring? I know my beauty is show-stopping, but we do have some papers to find in one of their pockets.”

“Huh!? Wh- what are you on about, you ass?”

“I believe I just said, finding the papers. Must I do everything myself?” 

With an effortless motion, Dazai dips to his knees, leaning towards one of the fallen soldiers. Chuuya feels another surge of affection, quickly dulled as he aims his focus at another body nearest to him, gloved hands rifling through their jacket. ‘It’s just the adrenaline rush from the battle, that’s all. It’s jus- what is he doing?’

Chuuya finds himself leaning against the ground as he watches Dazai’s movement pause. There’s a beat where time seems to stand still, Chuuya unable to break free from the spell.

Finally Dazai moves again, his back shaking slightly as he reaches down to steady himself. Feeling his heart stop, Chuuya’s mouth hangs open, thoughts racing. ‘I- is he… crying..?’ 

Dazai stands again, this time jerky and forced. Chuuya echoes his movements, activating his gift to add a fluidity to the actions. Once they’re both upright Chuuya lets his gaze drift over Dazai’s form.

‘Despite a slight shine to his eyes, there doesn’t seem to be any sign of tears… Maybe he was laughing? I didn’t hear anything, but that would be just like the bastard.’ 

“You really couldn’t use corruption? Even just a little bit?” Dazai pouts, twirling on his heel to face Chuuya. He raises a hand to sniffle against, a fake sigh spilling out as he raises an arm to drape across his face, dramatic as ever. “I had to get my hands dirty.” 

“You ass- you know how- you… you just… it…” Chuuya growls, shouts dissolving into furious muttering. Dazai laughs in return, a strained sound that leaves Chuuya’s hairs standing on edge. ‘Maybe he really was crying…? No, that’s ridiculous… he can’t be… but-’ 

“What a way to spend a birthday; out in a field.” Dazai’s voice cuts into his mind, a quality to it that Chuuya can’t seem to place. “Not my ideal choice, I hope you know. I’d much rather be in a nice cozy river, drifting along with a beautiful gi-” 

“It’s not like I wanted to spend my day like this either. Besides, birthday’s don’t really mean anything. You’re a year older, so what? You’re constantly getting older, who decided that ‘a year’ is the important one?” 

“Chuuya’s awfully cynical today. Is it the idea of me finding happiness, or the bohh… bodies-” 

There was more to the taunt, but it’s lost in the wind as Dazai dips back towards a body, kneeling as he jerks forward. His hands graze over the jacket of the fallen, but it seems more like an afterthought. Finding the papers is certainly not important enough to cut off his brilliant comeback. 

“Okay seriously, what’s with that?”

Dazai doesn’t make any effort to turn himself to Chuuya, instead sending a “what’s with what?” over his shoulder. Chuuya’s about to reply when Dazai answers for him, a squeak breaking free as his shoulders tremble once more. 

“Are you crying?” 

A tense silence falls over the meadow, even the birds seemingly pausing their songs. With an air of grace he lacked before, Dazai brings himself up to his full height. Letting his eyes drift down he meets the harsh gaze, a water present in his eyes that sucks Chuuya’s breath away. At least, until he begins to speak.   

“Yes, I am in fact. It’s just such a tragedy. Such an important day, one that should be filled with celebration! Instead I’m wasting it in this field with Chuuya, who didn’t even get me a present!” 

He wipes his eyes with a convincing sniffle, only downplayed by the smirk creeping across his cheeks bringing a glint to his watering eyes. Chuuya huffs in response, pointing a snarl at the ground as his head rushes over the facts.

‘He wants me to think that he’s crying? No wait- he wants me to know he’s joking, but there’s still tears in his eyes? Damn it! Knowing that bastard, me being uncertain is exactly his plan. It’s all a distraction.” 

“I mean,” Dazai begins once more, clearing his throat lighty before continuing, “Chuuya’s just so useless now. It’s enough to bring a tear to your eye.” 

“Huh?!”

“I mean, sure sure, Chuuya shot the bullets. But it was my plan, all you did was follow it. To the letter, might I add. Quite boring honestly.” 

“You were hoping I’d ignore your plan?!” Chuuya gawks. Dazai smiles at this, a deep chuckle breaking out, laced with the familiar superiority that sends chills down Chuuya’s back.

“I was hoping you’d do something in- inter… eh’gNT-! ek’nXT-! Interesting. Or at least not make me do work on my special day!” 

The sneezes are directed into his fist, expertly stifled, almost as if it took no effort whatsoever. A pang of jealousy runs through Chuuya; he’s never quite been able to get the hang of that trick. ‘Okay, so he’s sneezing… why wouldn’t he just tell me that?’ 

Dazai seems to be too preoccupied with his nose to notice the intensity of the look Chuuya shoots his way. It’s clear there’s something irritating him. Each breath leaves his nose scrunching, there’s a pinch to the corners of his watery eyes, and his tongue peeks out between his lips. 

Oblivious to the scrutiny, Dazai turns a glare over into the field. Chuuya tracks his gaze over to a group of lilies sprouting near the edge of a stream. The wind swirls around them once more, a wave of yellow floating into the air at the water's edge.

From the corner of his eye, Chuuya catches Dazai noticeably shuddering, before ducking into his collar with a harsh, “heh’yeEISHHH’shoo-! ah’yiiESHHHihhh’oo-!” 

“Shit-” Chuuya yelps, catching himself as the volume nearly knocks him off his feet. “You bastard, warn me-” 

Dazai turns to face him, nose almost quivering, a deep pink tint seeping down into his cheeks from the dripping appendage, tears spilling down his face. He opens his mouth, seemingly to speak, but hitching spills out before any words can break free, his hand raising to pinch his nose long enough to get a weak sentence out. 

“N- nohhht… notdone-!” 

“Oh fuck, are you oka-”

“hH’KIIEESHHhh’oo-! ah’YIZIISHHh’oo-!” 

There’s no attempt to cover, instead Dazai leans away from Chuuya, aiming towards the ground as another set of explosions bursts free. He mutters something through the gasping that might have been an apology before spinning further away and dipping once more with a full body shudder. 

“ihhHKEIZSHhh’oo-! Sorry I- I hahhh… have to- I’mgonnakeep- hahh’TIEZZHHh’shoo-!” 

“Just- hold on, okay? I think I have… somewhere around here,” Chuuya offers, digging through his pockets. Finding his prize, Chuuya holds out the handkerchief with a snarl, pointedly avoiding meeting Dazai’s eyes. “Blow your damn nose.” 

“Aww, is this a birthday present after all Chuhh… hehh… Chuuya?”

“No!? I- I just want you to shut up, that’s all. You’re gonna be sniffling and whining all day anyways. I don’t need to deal with you having an ongoing allergy attack as I drive you home.”

“Whatever you say! I knew Chuuya ca… heh… cared-  ahh’YIIECHHUUU’ya-! heH’KKCHHUU’ya-!” 

Chuuya aims a roundhouse at his chest, snickering as Dazai has to take a step back to catch his balance. The bastard coughs lightly and Chuuya crosses his arms, “You wanna keep bathing in your allergen, or can we leave now?” 

“ihhKIESZShhh’oo-! ek’eAASHHhh’oo-! Oh ouch…” Dazai snaps into the handkerchief, staring to straighten up as his eyes gloss over once more, “W- wait… heH- tiEZSHhh’oo-!” 

The third catches them both off guard, Chuuya practically kneeling on the ground as he lunges to grab Dazai’s shoulders. The bastard nearly faceplants from the force of it, Chuuya shooting a rough, “Christ, you dumbass.” 

Dazai dips back into the cloth with a fierce blow, moaning as an airy “hh’tiezshh’oo-! kiezshh’oo-!” slip out. Chuuya huffs, tapping his foot as Dazai blows again, before finally giving Chuuya a genuine look over the folds of the cloth.

At a volume only Chuuya would be able to hear, barely a whisper above the rush of the wind, Dazai lets another moan fall from his lips, nipping on the heels of, “Tibe to go hobe.” 

Chuuya smiles. An actual smile, one he hasn’t let himself do in a very long time. Taking Dazai’s arm and wrapping it around his shoulder, they head off back towards his motorcycle, Dazai pausing every so often to dip into his collar with another, softer, outburst.

“Hey, you better not sneeze on me while we’re driving.”

“I make no prohh… prombises- ek’tiezshh’oo-! hk’enzshh’oo-!”

“Bastard. And uh… happy birthday…” 

“en’kshhh’oo-! eh’tiezshh’oo-! Why thagk you Chuuya!”

“Shut up, you ass.”

#waterfallwrites #its short and not that sweet but!! #its jus a lil bday present for our beloved bastard #so hopefully that's acceptable~!! #s/oukoku #d/azai #c/huuya #b/sd

[arimiadev]

2023 Year in Review

2023 has come and gone—it feels like it was just a week ago that my grandma was complaining that Thanksgiving and Christmas were too close together, and now it’s January. I spent the last 2 weeks of 2023 sick (I still am), which made it go by like a blur.

2022 was a fresh slate for me, with a new job, a new home, and new projects. 2023 was a year of finding a new rhythm—figuring out how I work best and molding my work time around that rather than trying to make myself go against the flow.

Working from home is truly a blessing and a curse. I do think that it has more positives than negatives (especially right now as I’m able to work while being sick and don’t have to take time off), but navigating around the negatives is tricky. The main problem I’ve faced, aside from lack of interaction with non-family, is that it’s harder for me to focus on work when I end up spending almost all of my awake hours at my desk, either for my fulltime job or for VN development or for relaxing.

I’ve had to mix things up, usually taking my laptop to other parts of the house or even working outside of home some days. Even if it’s only for a few hours, it helps reset the fatigue of being at my desk all day every day. It doesn’t always work, and one problem I ran into for most of the year was being unable to focus on writing. Art and scripting are more “mindless” for me, I can do them with a video or voice call in the background, but writing is something I’ve always struggled to concentrate on.

This year was my first year attempting NaNoWriMo, though a more casual version of it. A few other devs were also entering NaNoWriMo to work on their projects so I hopped on too. I wanted to use the hype of the event to push myself to focus on writing, and it worked! My goal was to hit 30k total words in the month across multiple projects—which is about what I write in half a year—and I hit it.

Projects

Canvas Menagerie continued to be my main project in 2023. I was able to release several new demo builds for the project, mainly redoing and improving artwork for the game. My art has been improving a lot the past couple of years which is a good and a bad thing—it’s good because I’m improving and it’s bad because it means I have to redo or edit older game art!

I was also able to finish writing Act 2, meaning that Canvas Menagerie is 2/3rds written! A lot of good progress was made on it this year and I hope to continue (and maybe finish?) that this year.

I also got a trailer for it by Hatoge, a fellow BL developer! It came out so nice…

My other main project for 2023 was Lost Lune, a project I started in 2022. It was meant to be a small-ish project for Winter VN Jam 2022, but I ran into some issues with the story structure.

Lost Lune is a story I like but have had a hard time figuring out how to put the world and characters into words. I have an understanding on how the plot progresses, but due to a few different reasons it’s been hard to actually write it. One reason has been the unconventional format for the story, with it flipping between the past and present in a linear way. The other reason I’ve had a hard time with it is the character personalities—Weiss, the main character, is much more forward, blunt, and promiscuous than characters I’ve written before. It’s also the darkest setting I’ve ever written in as it’s set in a post apocalypse.

Thanks to NaNoWriMo I was able to get over 9k more written for the story, leading to about half of the story currently being written. I’d like for the project to be finished this year, but it’s hard to say when.

A small project I worked on for Ludum Dare & Otome Jam this year was a short game featuring some of my oldest OCs, where you play as a witch returning home and helping her father’s delivery service. I wanted to make something more experimental than what I usually make and something just for me.

I ended up adding some extra features to it but never released the updated build, so maybe sometime in the future…

My last project for this year was Asphodelium, my Winter VN Jam 2023 entry. I’ve had a hard time describing it, but basically it’s a dark slice of life romance about the members of a disbanded adventurer’s guild after stopping a doomsday cult at the cost of killing their former leader who betrayed them. Hazel, the one who dealt the final blow, has had the hardest time moving on—until one day he’s approached by a man with the same face as their dead leader.

This was a story I got the idea for sometime in September and began writing on a whim in the middle of October and ended up writing a majority of in November for NaNoWriMo. I didn’t expect the script to get far but here I am, 40k words later…

I finished the script and most of the art in December but was unable to completely finish the game because I got sick before Christmas. Just another WIP to finish this year…

Articles

This year I didn’t make as many articles as in years prior, a trend that will probably go forward. I do still want to write articles on marketing and visual novel dev, but I feel like it’s a waste of time to rehash old topics or talk about social media algorithms and such.

One thing I started this year for articles was interviews with fellow developers, starting with my friend ingthing. I don’t want my articles to be just my own opinions, so I want to get more voices out there. In 2024 I want to do more interviews with other devs to share their views on development.

With a record high amount of games we had to judge for Spooktober VN Jam this year, I wrote up a post about my takeaways from the jam with some commentary from my fellow judges. I was blown away by the response the article received, with it being one of my top 3 articles of all time now.

My last blog post—I hesitate to call it an article—that I wrote in one frantic day somehow was my favorite of the year. After months of radio silence from Aniplex US about Mahoyo, the first TYPE-MOON (pure) visual novel to be released officially in English on Steam, I did a deep dive into why they had forsaken such easy money by refusing to market it. The end result? Well, we’ll probably never know why, but it’s clear that someone at Aniplex made the decision to not give a budget to their marketing teams for Mahoyo and instead let the fans market it themselves.

Art

This year was a bit sparse for full artworks, with a majority of them being for Canvas Menagerie. I got a lot more comfortable drawing his hair!

I also got more into Holostars EN this year with the introduction of the second half of Holostars Tempus, the Vanguard unit (but mainly Gavis Bettel). I was following Tempus from the beginning and was a big fan of Magni and Vesper, but Bettel won as my kamioshi. He’s also the only one in the snapshot above (for August) that’s fanart, as the rest are OCs.

Goals

2023 Goals:

Fully write Act 2 of Canvas Menagerie: Canvas Menagerie is currently split up into 3 acts, around 50k words long for each act. I was able to finish the first draft for Act 2 in October! It ended up being much shorter than I estimated, but that’s how things go sometimes.

Release demo for Lost Lune: …Well, this kinda happened but not really. I wanted to release a longer demo for Lost Lune as the current playable build is more like a teaser—it’s very short and only features 2 out of an estimated 20~ days. I did however end up reprogramming the playable build, changing the main character from a side sprite to being on screen with several other visual changes. I’m much happier with this direction for the game.

Write more consistent devlogs: This also didn’t really happen as my intention was to write an article a month, but with our physicals Kickstarter earlier this year, other things took higher priority. I also realized pretty early on in the year that I’m tired of writing about social media algorithms and want to write about more interesting game dev and marketing topics, like case studies and such.

Open a merch shop: This was the first goal I accomplished this year! It was also the easiest since it was already mostly set up. You can see the merch shop for my games here—I think it’s pretty cute.

2024 Goals:

Fully write Act 3 of Canvas Menagerie: Self-explanatory. I want to get to a first draft state for all of CM. I doubt I’ll be able to finish the game next year unless I get a whirlwind of inspiration as it still needs around 40-50k words, 25+ CGs, 5+ character sprites and more, but we’ll see how far I get.

Write more of Lost Lune: I was able to write over 10k this year for Lost Lune while working on other stuff and in 2024 I want to get close to finishing the script if not finishing it.

Release the full version & an artbook for Asphodelium: Due to getting sick at the end of December, I wasn’t able to fully release Asphodelium. It’s pretty close to being done so it shouldn’t take long to finish it. I also want to release a (digital) artbook for it, as I have a lot of design notes for the LI. It’s also been quite a while since I released an artbook so I want to try making one again.

Go to an out-of-town convention: All my life, I’ve only ever attended the anime conventions in the Memphis area. Despite Memphis being a big city, the conventions here…aren’t really ran by people who want to expand it or even really change anything, so for the past decade it’s been in stagnation. At Studio Élan we’re boothing at more conventions this year, and I want to help! I’m hoping to go to Offkai Expo this summer.

Share more VNs I like: Thanks to rejoining Tumblr in late 2022, I’ve become more acquainted with visual novel players over there and I want to talk more about visual novels that I play. There’s a lot of great games out there that people just don’t hear about, so I want to talk about VNs more.

I feel like in 2023 I was starting to find my “thing”—I really like talking about VNs and I want to share unheard of and underrepresented developers to others! I’ve become bored of making generic marketing articles but I’ve found joy in making posts in collaboration with other devs or sharing other VNs.

2024 is a bit of a scary year and has me rather nervous, but I hope we’ll all make it through it. I want to finish some of the stuff I’ve began and I want to share more lesser known visual novels.

I hope this year will be better for us all. Until next time!

— Arimia

#visual novel #my games #my art #Youtube

[distant-velleity]

Skepticism

Summary: Jamil (probably) doesn't have any ulterior motives, but Jack is not so quick to trust that. Word count: 900+ A/N: I literally started writing this as soon as I got out of dance class today so do not expect it to be good 😭 I just thought it would be so funny if Jack judged Yu's taste in guys. He's always looking out for his friends and keeping an eye out for those who might be unsavory so, you know;; lol. Just wanted to write a little bit of silliness to make up for... everything I've posted in the past few days lol. Enjoy!

~

“There’s this friend of yours,” Jamil murmurs, eyes darting aside as he hands a plastic container to Yu. It seems this time he’s foregone the excuse that he happened to make extras the night before. “Jack, was it?”

(The container is nice and warm, and there’s faint sparkles that indicate it’s been enchanted to stay that way. How sweet.)

Yu tilts his head. “What about Jack?”

“He… I don’t mean to sound paranoid”—“Cute attempt, even if you kind of do”— “but he always seems to become excessively alert when I’m around you. Hostile, even.”

Even someone as unobservant as Yu can immediately recall what Jamil’s talking about—Jack isn’t very good at hiding his body language, so it’s easy to notice when he does subconscious things like raising his tail or stiffening his ears upwards. Or when his fur stands on end, making him look somehow sharper and dangerous. And—

“Oh yeah, didn’t he growl at you once when you clapped me on the shoulder?”

“What did he think I was going to do, punch you?” Jamil asks exasperatedly. “I can keep my hands relatively to myself.”

“But not your eyes,” Yu mutters. “If he knew about winter break, he’d probably kill you.”

Jamil grimaces.

“…that was a joke,” quickly adds Yu.

“If he keeps baring his canines at me, it won’t seem like one.” Jamil rubs his temples. “I’d ask what I’m doing wrong, but I know for a fact everything I do for you is harmless.”

Yu smiles, a little apologetically. “Well, sometimes he doesn’t notice his own behavior, but it’s because he cares so much.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel more reassured.” 

“Maybe you should spend more time around us. He’ll warm up to you.” At Jamil’s skeptical little eye roll, Yu continues with a growing smirk. “I mean, even if it looks like he doesn’t, it’s not like he’s gonna do anything to you if you don’t do anything crazy. He’s a biiig softie, it’s the only reason he hasn’t beaten Ace up yet.”

Jamil scoffs. “Soft or not, I’d rather be on decent terms with him so it’s easier for me to…” He trails off all of a sudden, leaving Yu to abruptly notice the heavy footsteps behind him.

“So it’s easier for you to do what?” asks Jack in his usual low, rumbling voice—with a distinct tone of warning. Although he towers over the both of them, Yu doesn’t feel threatened with how Jack stands right behind him; it feels like having a big guardian puppy around.

While Yu waves to his friend, Jamil says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “For me to be friends with Yu. I’m not sure what I’ve done to offend you, but I can tell you for certain that I don’t have any intentions to hurt him.” 

Maybe the way it sounds so smooth and practiced is more suspicious to Jack. “Uh-huh. You’d better be able to prove it with more than just words. Yu, can I have that container?”

“Yeah, just don’t toss it or anything. Jamil works diligently to prepare meals, you know.” When Jack nods reluctantly, Yu hands it over without complaint.

As the resident poison-tester, Jamil settles for a resigned look on his face as Jack sniffs for signs of unsavory magic or ingredients. 

The beastman seems satisfied after a solid half a minute of inspection, at least until— “Wait, haven’t you been eating stuff marked with the same magic for the past few weeks? Was it all from this guy?”

It’s comical how Jamil sputters. “So I’ve been reduced to ‘this guy’? And how come you only start sniffing it out once you know I gave it to Yu?”

“‘Cause I have no clue what your real intentions are,” Jack argues, ears pointing up with tension. “You used to fade into the background but all of a sudden you start getting buddy-buddy with Yu, of course I’m gonna think there’s something up with that—”

“Jack, it’s fine,” Yu interrupts. “Jamil can be a douche”—“Excuse you?”—“but he won’t try anything. You, well, you smelled it for yourself, he didn’t put anything in the food and I haven’t been acting weird since I started eating it.”

“Except for trusting him…”

Jamil gives them both a Look™. “Have I not been proving myself trustworthy?”

The way Jack narrows his eyes slightly at Jamil and vice versa feels like something straight out of a manga. Yu can practically see the black background effects of hostility. “You have, and that’s why I’m giving you a chance…” He trails off, seeing Jack’s fur stand on end. “Guys, this is getting ridiculous. You ever think there’s a reason why Crewel calls you ‘unruly pups’?”

“I’m not being unruly in the least,” Jamil says coolly, not disengaging from whatever the hell is going on.

“You’re not helping your case,” Jack grumbles, crossing his arms and glaring even more fiercely. 

Yu closes his eyes. “You guys, seriously—”

The ten-minute warning bell rings, and Yu has never been more grateful for a glorified “hurry the fuck up and get to first period” message. 

Jack backs down right away, mumbling something about not wanting to be late for Trein’s class. As soon as he’s out of earshot, all 190+ centimeters of him disappearing down the hallway, Jamil turns to Yu.

“So… what was that about him being a ‘softie’?”

Yu rolls his eyes. “You skeptic. I mean, me too, but—c’mon. I’m sure he’ll warm up to you someday.”

“...Uh-huh.” Jamil sounds unconvinced. “We’ll see how soon that day comes, then.”

#kai's writing #i dont wanna do twst tags bc im shy so #jamil viper #jack howl #twst oc #yuusona #jamiyu <3 #kai self ships #god this is . a little goofy #need to write me a situation where jack is unsettled around floyd too HSKFJSKHFSD #hey. yu. when will you stop getting entangled with the schemer dorms ....

[eddywoww]

This is so random but I’ve been thinking about my family a lot (while watching succession too) and I can’t relate to being fuck me rich but my god I can relate to a four piece sibling family who canNOT express affection for shit

I mean there’s four of us and none of us hug. One time my brother called me a bitch and then randomly lifted me off the ground in a hug and that was his version of Sorry and honestly I preferred that over an actual apology. My sister likes to verbally apologize because she’ll feel bad until she does and I’ve told her countless times that I’d rather die.

One time I ran to my sisters in the rain, crying my head off over something and she didn’t know how to comfort me because none of us know how to comfort each other. But we still have ways?? Like if we see something that we know each other will like, we buy it. We make crafts for each other, we share tv shows and music.

My family jokes that I’m the least emotional of all of them (when I ironically cry so much) they used to call me Red Foreman (from that 70s show) because of my total lack of outward emotion. It’s hurt me before, this image they have of me being a mean person who can’t express myself enough. Now I realize that I’m actually doing better these days.

And that I’m not a product of a lack of emotion at all but rather a product of anger.

I think I’m the only person in my family who has never punched a hole in a wall. The one time I tried, I almost broke my hand. It didn’t feel good. It didn’t help because hurting other things, hurting other people didn’t help me. So I stuck to hurting myself, physically or mentally.

Because I was and am a product of anger but when you watch that anger get cast around to other people, sometimes you don’t want to continue to do that. Especially when people think you’re mean. Especially when you’re not particularly maternal and you have to spend years with people accusing you of being cold and hating kids and not being nice enough to people or not smiling enough or not saying the right things, always saying the wrong things. You’re too rude, you’re too brash, don’t cry in front of people but if you do, make sure they know it’s for the right reasons.

All this to say, I love my family. I do. But there’s skeletons on top of skeletons in barely closed closets and I don’t even want to dig into those graves and try to unearth half the shit that has happened or been done. Because my mom once looked at me and said “Please, don’t break my heart.” And so I shut my mouth and didn’t say anything else.

I’m a product of anger and that’s fine. I don’t have to be angry anymore. Letting go of my anger for my family is helping me, I think. Talking about it is helping. Realizing that I don’t have to be anything that anyone else wants me to be is helping.

#tw self harm #tw anger issues #essays on feelings #this is random and weird bc it’s 5 am and I’m in pain lmao and thinking about my brothers and my sister

[freckleslikestars]

Telling Mom

Follow up to A Shoulder to Cry On - I’d recommend reading it, but it’s not 100% imperitive. Scully tells her mom about her pregnancy and Mulder’s disappearance after the rather awful date Maggie sends her on.

@xfilesbingo prompt: Maggie Scully

Rating T, implied MSR

1930 words, read here on AO3

She felt sick as she sat in her car outside her mom’s house, trying to figure out how she was going to explain everything she’d been hiding. She desperately didn’t want to go in there, didn’t want to see her mother’s disappointment. But she’d called earlier in the day and asked how the date went, suggested they discuss it over dinner. And she couldn’t exactly decline.

She was going to have to do it at some point, she knew; couldn’t exactly hide a baby forever. But, God, she had hoped she could put it off for a few more weeks at least, maybe another month or so. She shook her head and took a deep breath before turning the ignition off and stepping out of the car, looking up at her mother’s house with a sense of dread. It had always exuded a warmth that made her feel safe, but now...scared maybe wasn’t the word for it, but she certainly wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation about to take place.

Ten steps up the front path, and she was knocking on the door; fists balled tightly at her sides as her heart pounded with anxiety. The door was pulled open, warm light spilling out and her mother smiling down at her, ‘Dana, come in, come in.’

‘Hi, mom,’ she gave a weak smile, followed her through to the kitchen, ‘how’s your week been?’

Her mother started puttering around, laying the kitchen table and removing a casserole from the oven, pouring two glasses of red wine and serving two portions, ‘oh, so-so. Bill rang; he’s being deployed again, so he was thinking I might like to spend a couple months in San Diego helping Tara with Matty and the new baby. You have got time off to go visit them when the baby’s born, haven’t you?’

Crap. She’d forgotten about the impending arrival of a new niece or nephew, ‘I, uh...no. Things have been...I’ve been dealing with some things, and it completely slipped my mind. Sorry.’

‘Well, I’m sure you can talk to Fox about covering for you so you can take a week or two off; heaven knows you work hard enough to deserve it.’

Her chest tightened, and she croaked out a quiet ‘Mom, I-‘

‘Now, tell me about Thursday night. How was it? Were you nice?’

‘Mom-‘

‘Dana, please tell me you were nice to him?’

She cringed, nodded half-heartedly, picking at a dinner roll, ‘yeah, I was nice, but it’s not going anywhere.’

Her mother gave an exasperated, disappointed sigh, ‘did you even try?’

She swallowed, shook her head, ‘no, Mom. I didn’t try. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not-‘ he’s not Mulder, ‘he’s not for me.’ She took a breath, ‘Mom, I have to talk to you about something. Something important. And I need you not to interrupt, and I need you to accept what I’m going to say without overreacting,’ her voice quavered slightly, and she stood up to pour herself a glass of water, keeping her back to her mother and her fist clenched on the edge of the counter. ‘I...’ she hesitated, inhaling sharply, ‘I’m pregnant. And I’ve known for about a month now, and I wanted to tell you, I did, but...I just didn’t know how to. I mean...we didn’t even think it could happen, all the doctors said it couldn’t, but it did, and I was in the hospital for about a week, and I wanted to tell you then, but I also wanted to be sure, because it’s impossible. And then...I just couldn’t.’

She jumped when her mother’s hand covered her own, ‘that’s wonderful news, Dana.’ Scully nodded, the floodgates breaking as she dissolved into sobs. ‘Oh, come here, Darling,’ she was engulfed in her mother’s arms, shaking violently with her tears, ‘what’s the matter, Baby?’

‘Mulder’s missing,’ she cried into Maggie’s shoulder, ‘and everyone thinks he’s dead, and he can’t be, he can’t be dead because I never even got to tell him, and we tried so hard, and I don’t know how to do this alone.’

���Oh, Dana,’ she sighed, combing her fingers through her daughter’s hair, ‘Sweetheart, what do you mean, missing?’

‘They took him, Mom. They took him like they took me,’ another wave of sobs wracked through her, ‘I was supposed to be with him, and I wasn’t, and-‘

She cupped her daughter’s cheek, and kissed her crumpled brow, ‘it’s going to be okay, Honey.’

‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘Well, why don’t we start by putting the kettle on? We’ll have a cup of tea, and maybe things will look a little better.’

She gave a wet, garbled chuckle and snuffled noisily, ‘I’ve been trying that for a month, and it’s not worked.’

Maggie gave a sympathetic smile and tucked a strand of fiery hair behind her ear, ‘it won’t be a miracle cure, I’ll give you that, but at least it will calm you down,’ she released her and started bustling around the kitchen, filling the kettle and covering over the abandoned casserole. A tub of rocky road ice cream was dug out from the back of the freezer, and two spoons were fetched, whilst she told Dana to choose a mug and tea from the cupboard. By the time their tea was steeping, they’d settled on the couch with the tub of ice cream balanced between them, and Maggie was studying her daughter’s profile as she dug into the tub. ‘There’s something else bothering you.’

‘Isn’t Mulder being missing and being pregnant enough?’ she grumbled.

‘Yes, it’s more than enough to deal with. But there’s something else on your mind.’

‘No.’

She gave a weary sigh, ‘don’t lie to me, Dana. What’s wrong?’ She mumbled something Maggie couldn’t hear. ‘Speak up, or I can’t help.’

‘You’re disappointed in me.’

‘What? Why would I be disappointed in you, Dana?’

Scully gave a non-committal shrug and cringed in on herself, not meeting her mother’s eye, ‘because. Because I’m pregnant and unmarried, and I’m gonna end up a single mom, and I didn’t tell you, and I didn’t tell you about Mulder and I and-‘

‘Dana, do you really think I care?’

‘What?’

‘Do you really think I care that you’re not married?’

‘But...I thought-‘

‘You thought what? That you’d turn up on my doorstep, pregnant and unmarried, and I’d, what, disown you?’ she shrugged, and Maggie sighed, ‘I don’t know. Maybe...maybe if I hadn’t lost so many of my children already, maybe if you were younger and it had come out of nowhere, I would have been angry. Yes, maybe even disappointed. But you’re thirty-six, Dana. You’re having a child with a man with whom you’ve been very close for seven years.’ She took a long sip of her tea, furrowed her brow as she tried to formulate what she wanted to say, ‘Dana, you have been through so much hardship these past years. If this is what you want, I’d never be disappointed in you for it.’

‘What if Mulder’s never returned?’

She took her daughter’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, ‘you were returned to us. I’m sure Mulder will be too.’

‘I don’t think it’s the same, Mom.’

‘Well, in that case, if he isn’t returned, you just have to keep going. Day by day until it gets a little easier. You keep going because your child needs you to. You forget that much of your childhood I spent worrying that your father wouldn’t come home to us. We’d have months of radio silence when we’d never hear anything, and every news report of something happening at sea would haunt me until I heard from him. It won’t be easy, but that’s what you’ve got me for. Tara, too, understands. It’s not exactly the same, but we’ve got enough experience of our husbands being away for extended periods with no contact that we can empathise.’

‘Thank you, mom.’

‘That’s quite all right. I promise, Dana, that whatever happens, I’m not disappointed in you.’ She dropped her head to her mother’s shoulder and tried to stifle a yawn. ‘I don’t want you driving home tonight, Sweetheart. Stay here, and I’ll make you pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?’

‘It sounds really good, Mom, but I’ve got work tomorrow. I’m flying out to Utah to consult with the local coroner. I’d have to leave here at five to go back to my apartment, get my bag and get to the airport on time.’

‘I don’t mind waking early. I’ve been meaning to bake some brioche anyway, and it needs quite a long time to prove, so it’ll be good to start it early.’

‘Mom, no, you don’t want to be awake and making pancakes at half four. I’m okay to drive, really.’

‘I’ve said no, Dana. You’re staying here. If you want, I’ll call you a cab to take you to the airport tomorrow, and I’m sure there are enough clothes that you’ve left over here to make up a couple of days’ worth of outfits at least.’

Her eyes were drooping as she yawned again and she felt herself relenting, ‘sure. I guess a little bit later of a start, and a couple of pancakes won’t hurt anybody.’

Maggie gave a satisfied hum, ‘I’ll go up and put some fresh sheets on your bed and dig you out a suitcase.’

By the time she returned downstairs, Dana was fast asleep on the couch, curled in on herself and snoring lightly. Not having the heart to wake her, she tucked a blanket over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, dimmed the lights and tidied up around her, tea mugs in the sink and melting ice cream in the freezer, the untouched casserole wrapped with clingfilm and stored in the fridge for tomorrow, before she headed up to bed herself.  

She woke, three hours later, to her daughter’s anguished screams, her partner’s name on her lips as she sobbed. For the first time in years, Maggie Scully ushered her daughter into her bed and held her as she cried herself to sleep. She woke, not long after that, to Dana stumbling from bed, stubbing her toe as she tripped her way to the en suite, purging her stomach of its meagre contents. After a glance at the clock, she followed suit, kneeling at her daughter’s side, holding her hair back and rubbing soothingly up and down her spine.

‘Is it really wise to go to Utah when you’re feeling like this, Honey?’ she asked as Dana slumped back into her with a groan.

‘I’ll be fine after I’ve eaten something. Besides, they’re expecting me and I need to keep working. If I stop, I don’t know what will happen.’

‘I have a bad feeling about it, Dana, that’s all.’

‘I’ll be fine, Mom. What time is it?’

‘Ten to four. Do you want to sleep or do you want to shower whilst I go down and start on pancakes?’

Her stomach gurgled and she chuckled, ‘pancakes sound really good.’

‘Okay. You go and fetch some clothes from your room, and I’ll bring you a towel, and when you’re ready there will be pancakes waiting for you.’

She held herself still for a moment after her mom helped her up, waiting just in case another wave of nausea hit, sighing with relief when it didn’t. She looked up as Maggie was leaving, ‘Mom?’

‘Yes?’

‘Thank you. For everything.’

Maggie just smiled, ‘that’s what I’m here for, Darling.’

tagging @today-in-fic

#my writing #xf fanfic #txf #x files #msr #season eight #season 8 #kinda a pre-ep for roadrunners #this is just me projecting my need for a forgiving mother figure on Maggie Scully #maggie scully

[walker-extended-universe]

Something New

Relationship(s): Geri Broussard/Cordell Walker, Trey Barnett/Cassie Perez, Trey Barnett/Geri Broussard

Tags/Warnings: Breaking up, Angst, Developing Relationships, Complicated Relationships, Fights, First Kiss, First Date

Summary: Geri and trey are having trouble locking down dates with their partners and end up on dates of their own. After a while, they get tired of the same old song and dance and decide to cut things off. It's awkward, but maybe it's for the best.

A/N: Blame @theladywyn for putting Geri/Trey in my head

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

------

[Text from: Cordell]: Sorry, babe. Caught up at work. I won’t be there tonight.

[Text from: Cordell]: I’ll make it up to you <3

Geri sighed and looked up from her phone to see Trey frowning at his. “Let me guess: Cassie canceled because of work?”

Trey sighed and put his phone away. “Walker too?”

“Yep.”

Trey got up from the table. “Well. That's just great, isn’t it?” He started clearing away the plates. “Guess you can go on home then. I’ll clean up.”

“Hey, Trey, come on.” She stood up and grabbed his wrist. “That’s not- We don’t have to give up on a fun night just because Cordi and Cassie did. I mean, you made all this food and we already have a movie queued up….”

It was supposed to be a double date. A relaxing evening with four friends to eat too much and drink too much and just shoot the shit. She remembered the days where she and Hoyt would have those nights with Cordell and Emily and it was nice to sort of recreate them with Cassie and Trey.

Trey sighed. “Yeah. A fun night half of the people involved in couldn’t be bothered to make time for. And you can’t tell me you were really looking forward to watching the made-for-TV Hawk’s Shadow movie.”

“We don’t have to watch that movie if you don’t want to,” Geri said. “And I’m mad at them too, believe me. But we’re already here and I’ve been looking forward to this and I’ve been wanting to dig into those nachos since I got here.”

Trey sighed before giving her a wry smile. “You don’t have to do this. I know we aren’t really friends. You probably have better ways to spend your evening.”

Geri snorted. “Yeah, right. My only other options for this evening are either go home and interrupt Colton and Stella’s date-night-in or go to work. Trust me, I’d rather spend my time here.”

Trey chuckled. “Well, if you insist. But we’re not watching Hawk’s Shadow. I’ll watch it for Cassie but….”

“Hey, no complaints here. I’m more of a slasher movie girl anyway.” Geri smirked and grabbed the nacho platter. “Wanna try out that new Scream movie?”

“You took the words right out of my mouth.”

—------

That was the first time Cassie and Cordell ditched their double date for work. Unfortunately, it was not the last.

Honestly, Geri preferred it to when Cordell would cancel their single dates. At least when they canceled a double date, she had Trey to talk to.

That didn’t make it less annoying when it happened.

“I can’t believe they canceled again,” Trey grumbled into his popcorn while they waited for the movie to start.

“I know. At least they refunded us for the tickets,” Geri muttered.

“I mean, seriously, this is the sixth time in a row they’ve canceled on us.”

“I know. It’s annoying.”

“And they say it’s work stuff but- I work there too! And I make the effort to get my damn job done and make sure I have time for these scheduled date nights. Do they- Do they not remember that I have the exact same job they do?”

“Yeah, well, there’s nothing we can do about it now. Let’s just enjoy the movie, okay?” Geri was just as annoyed as Trey was but she had enough experience being disappointed by Hoyt to let this slip.

Trey sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

It had been a good movie but it clearly wasn’t good enough to distract Trey. “I don’t understand how you’re so chill about this,” he said over the frozen yogurt they stopped to get on the way home. “I mean, I feel like we’ve been on more dates with each other than we have been with our actual partners. And aren’t you tired of the same old work excuse?”

“Work is work,” Geri said. “You know how demanding the work is. And Cordi’s always been like that.” It did seem like he made more of an effort to be home with Emily but his kids were younger then too so that probably made a difference. “And you know Cassie’s looking to climb the ranks. Micki left some big shoes for her to fill and Cordell’s record is intimidating. I know James expects a lot out of the both of you….”

“So why is she working longer hours? It just seems weird to me.”

Geir shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably partner solidarity? You know how Cordell is about getting his paperwork done. Cassie probably just feels bad about letting him stay alone.”

“But she doesn’t feel bad about abandoning us.”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, I think that’s a little dramatic.” In the grand scheme of things, a few canceled dates wasn’t a big deal. “Have you tried talking to her about it? I’m sure she’d try harder if she knew it was bugging you this bad. Hell, she’d probably kick Cordell’s ass about it too.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell her I’m bothered by her canceling our dates at the last minute with the same dumb excuse,” he griped. “Probably wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t the same bullshit reason every time.”

“Why are you assuming it’s a bullshit reason?”

“Because it just doesn’t make any sense that I can make the time to be there for our dates and they can’t. If there was a serious case, James would call me in for it. If it’s just paperwork, they can just do it on time. And we don’t schedule any dates during times when any of us have patrols. It just seems a little odd to me that that’s their excuse every time. Just makes me wonder what they’re really getting-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Geri put her spoon down. “Look, you’re right to feel hurt. You don’t think I’m annoyed that Cordi keeps canceling on me? Of course I am. But I accept it as part of his job. I don’t poke holes in his reasons and look for reasons why he might be lying to me. You know why? Because I know he’s a good person and he wouldn’t lie to me and go fool around behind my back. He’s not that kind of person. And I think you know Cassie’s not that kind of person either. If you really think she is, then you need to have a talk with her about that.”

Trey winced. “Yeah, I know. You’re right. It’s dumb. I just- It sucks, waiting around on them all the time.”

“It does, but that’s just part of it. And it’s not like it’s your first rodeo; you had to deal with it with Micki too, right?”

“Mhm…” He looked blankly at his yogurt. “And she left me.”

Right. Maybe that wasn’t the best argument. “And Cassie’s not Micki.”

“I know she isn’t. But she’s a Texas Ranger. And she’s Walker’s partner. And she has a habit of putting the job over me. I can’t help but feel like I’m just going through the same sad story again, you know?”

“It’s okay to feel that way. Just… be fair to Cassie? Maybe talk to her and see if you two can work out a compromise.”

Trey nodded. “I will. Thanks.”

Geri smiled. “Happy to help.”

—----------

Geri had a lot of patience. After dealing with Hoyt and Cordell for almost 30 years, she had to be. But even she had her limits.

So, after the 3 canceled double dates in one month, she decided to join Trey on the bitching. Maybe it was the wine talking but she had a lot of complaining to do. “Does he- Does he think that just because I waited around forever for Hoyt I’m gonna wait around for him too? I mean- He’s my best friend and all but I do have standards.”

“He shouldn’t expect you to wait around!” Trey agreed. “I mean, has he even properly apologized?”

She snorted. “Didn’t even buy me flowers,” she muttered. Not that she liked having dying plants in her house. But still. It was the thought that counted and she didn’t get the sense that Cordell was thinking of her at all.

“It’s just not fair,” Trey went on. “I mean, at this point, I feel like we’ve been on more dates with each other than we have with our own partners, yaknow?”

“It does! And that’s so stupid and unfair!”

“It is!”

The conversation didn’t go much further than that because they were both a little too drunk to be having that kind of talk. But, the next morning, as Geri made breakfast for the both of them in Trey’s kitchen (and since when did she get to know his kitchen well enough for that?), her mind drifted back to it.

Maybe they were just living out the same tired story again. Maybe Geri was just wasting her time waiting on Cordell like she did with Hoyt. Maybe Trey was just setting himself up for heartbreak by loving someone who couldn’t return the favor again. Maybe this was all just inevitable.

Did that mean they had to suffer through it, though? 

So what if Cordell was her best friend? This was already their second try at a relationship and it wasn’t really going how she’d hoped. Did she just have to put up with it because she was already 40 and admittedly a little scared of starting at zero with a stranger? Why shouldn’t she go find someone who was actually willing to make time for her?

And so what if Cassie is part of why Trey made the move to stay in Austin? Did that mean he had to shackle himself to her while she went chasing the next step in her career? Why shouldn’t he find someone who was willing to do as much giving as taking?

Her phone rang on the counter next to the stove and she glanced at it long enough to see it was Cordell. The bacon was done. She could answer it. Or…she could let it ring. Enjoy her morning eating breakfast with someone who seemed to actually want to talk to her.

“Morning.” Trey came into the kitchen, yawning, and grabbed plates. “You gonna get that.”

She shook her head. “I’ll text him in a minute to let him know where I am. I’m still pissed at him for last night….”

He snorted. “I don’t blame you. I haven’t even heard anything from Cassie yet.”

She quietly plated their breakfast and they ate standing around the little island. While she ate, she sent a quick text to Cordell letting him know she was okay and where she was. A few moments later, she sent another one asking to talk to him later. “Trey….”

“Yeah?”

“About last night….” she bit her lip. “I’m telling you because you’re probably gonna hear about it from him, but I think I’m gonna break it off with Cordi. For real. I just- I’m tired of waiting around for him to love me, I guess.”

Trey nodded. “You should do that. It’s gonna be hard, but you need to do what’s right for you. If he’s really your best friend, he’ll understand that.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

He pushed the breakfast on his plate a bit before speaking again. “I think I’m going to break things off with Cassie, too. I know she’s not Micki but…. It’s too close to that for me. It’s not fair to her if I’m gonna keep making those comparisons. And it’s not fair to me to keep putting myself in that headspace.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Geri thought this moment would be more earth shattering than calmly talking over breakfast with someone who had become a good friend. She thought it would be more emotional, more heartbreaking. Maybe it spoke to how good of a choice it was that this whole thing was so mundane.

Either way, she was sure Cordell wouldn’t take the news too well.

—---------------

“Hey, Ger.”

Geri smiled at Cordell and opened the door for him to come in. “Hey. Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, of course. You…said you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah, yeah…. It’s important.” She brought him into the living area and sat him down.

“This, uh, seems like a pretty serious talk,” Cordell said, chuckling nervously. “Are you pregnant or something?”

She crossed her arms. “I think we both know if I was pregnant I would’ve taken you to task at the ranch so I could have your parents as backup instead of asking you nicely to come over here.”

“True…. So why did you ask me nicely to come here?”

“Because….” Geri sighed. Here goes. “I want to break up.”

Cordell’s smile dropped instantly. “I- Ger- Is it because I canceled so much? I’m really trying to be better about that, it’s just hard with the job-”

“I know. I know. I knew when you asked me out. And that is part of it,” she said carefully. “I know your job is important and you feel bad about canceling so much and I appreciate the apology flowers. I do, really. But…. You can’t just say you’re trying and never improve. I gotta be honest, I feel like I’ve been on more dates with Trey than I have with you this year. And maybe that’s just the job and I thought I could handle that but….” she sighed. “I spent a long time waiting on Hoyt to be serious. And I’ve run out of patience.”

“Geri-” Cordell stood up and took her hands in his own. “-I never meant to make you feel like I’m not serious about you. About us. Because I am. I am so, completely serious-”

“You see, you say that,” she said, taking her hands away. “You say that you’re sorry and that you’re serious and that you’re here for me but then you turn around and don’t answer my calls and cancel our dates at the last minute and- I thought I could handle it because I thought I knew what it was like from hearing Emily complain about it but- I don’t think you left her hanging as many times as you have me. I really don’t. I don’t know if it’s because you wanted to be there for the kids or because you actually love her and I’m just your safe option but-”

“Woah, hang on,” he interrupted. “Geri, I- You’re not a ‘safe option’, whatever that means. I-”

“Aren’t I? Because it sure as hell feels that way. You only want me here when it’s convenient for you and when I’m just backing up whatever you do or say. Honestly, I’m not sure you didn’t just latch onto me because I’m the closest thing you can get to Emily. And- And I’m not sure I didn’t latch onto you because you’re almost the furthest I can get from Hoyt….”

She’d never really thought of it that way, but it was true. After so many years of Hoyt, Geri had needed someone stable, a shoulder she could really lean on. She’d thought Cordell could do that for her. Maybe she was wrong.

His mouth snapped shut and she saw an unfamiliar wall go up in his eyes. “Well. Nice to know how you really feel,” he muttered. “I guess that’s just it then.”

“I guess it is.”

He nodded curtly and quickly left her house, slamming the front door behind him.

She took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. It hurt, but it had to be said.

“He’ll come around in a few days,” she muttered to herself as she went to make a pot of tea. “You both just need time. It’ll be okay….”

—-----------

Trey’s Singles Date invitation came by text a week later. She’d almost laughed when she first read it.

[Text to: Trey]: What’s a Singles Date? Sounds like an oxymoron.

[Text from: Trey]: It’s what happens when two friends who are recently single go on a ‘date’ to get over their messy feelings

[Text to: Trey]: Sounds perfect. Where should we meet?

[Text from: Trey]: Well, I did just get a new subscription to a horror movie streaming service so…..

[Text to: Trey]: Movie night in sounds great! I’ll bring drinks if you make those nachos again.

[Text from: Trey]: You read my mind ;)

It was just a night in with a friend. There was no reason her heart should jump the way it did when he opened the door for her. There was no reason for her to be nervous and angst over what to wear. There was really no reason for her to wonder about where to sit on the couch and how close would be too close.

Then again, there was no reason for Trey to do the classic “yawn and stretch and put your arm around the girl” move either.

So Geri rested her head on his shoulder and let him hold her for the rest of the night. And, at the end, she let herself kiss his cheek.

It was too soon for anything else. She didn’t want to just latch onto someone else for the sake of it. But if he wanted to invite her over again, or maybe ask her out on a real date…. There was no reason for her to say no.

#walker #walker fic #walker fanfic #geri/trey #my writing #my fic

[secretgamergirl]

So this is why I’ve never liked the term “TERF.”

Earlier today someone linked me to an interview someone did with a well-known terrorist who was planning to host some hate rallies in New Zealand. I’m not going to link to it, because it does have a genocidal monster shouting hate speech, and I really don’t like putting that sort of thing in front of people (I feel bad enough with the above link for context). I will say though that the interviewer was someone who knew what she was talking about and was constantly calling her out on her utter BS, and the tour itself was cancelled when the very first stop on the tour had people throwing stuff at her on stage and she just kinda ran off. Nicely done New Zealand!

At one point in the interview though, the interviewer started to press her on just why she thinks it is that full on card-carrying neo-nazis keep showing up to her events and supporting her, which is, you know, a factual thing that happens, because she shares 100% of their ideology and all, and along with a lot of other random BS and denial that this is even a (very well documented) thing that happens, she blurted out a true statement to my surprise- “nazis would never support feminism!” This is true, as is the fact that they support the hell out of her, and everyone else in their movement, and a lot of people really do need to stop and solve that logic problem.

Now, I don’t like to bring this up, there’s a lot of other hats I wear that I’d much rather be seen with, but I’m an actual expert on modern fascism. Like, I’ve done tons of research and had findings published by recognized anti-fascist organizations and written about this for multiple publications, prepped materials for proposals to major corporations, the U.S. Congress, and the U.N. so what I’m going to get into here isn’t “random person on the internet has a hot take” it’s “this is what I’ve learned doing serious research on the subject.”

So, this woman who was going to speak in New Zealand is part of this... cult, frankly, which people refer to as the “TERFs.” They keep rebranding what they actually call themselves, but I’d like to focus on “TERF” because it’s an accronym, for “Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists” and that’s worth breaking down a little. The “Radical” is in there because, well, they’re a weird cult who spends every waking moment of every day whipping each other into a frenzied desire to enact plans to bring about the death of every trans person in the world. This also covers why “Trans-Exclusionary” is in there, but the actual noun modified by those adjectives is “Feminists” and like... not a single one of these people is a feminist.

I’m not painting with a broad brush here. It’s honestly a shockingly small group of people. You could fit them all in one room, people have done so several times, and new faces aren’t ever present at their meet-ups. It’s not especially hard if you’re so inclined to look into them one by one and get a handle on their beliefs and yeah, I do mean every single one of these people. I’m also not doing some kind of “no true Scotsman” thing here and saying they don’t qualify as feminists because they’re hateful monsters.

I’m saying they don’t qualify as feminists because they are actively opposed to every single agreed-upon tenet of feminism I’m aware of. Now granted, I don’t think there’s a specific list of bullet points everyone, or even like 95% of everyone are going to fully agree with, so here’s what comes immediately to my mind:

The most fundamental concept with feminism is the idea that people aren’t defined and limited by gender and should not be discriminated against along those lines. TERFs are constantly ranting and raving about how women are inferior to men when it comes to strength, endurance, speed, tests of skill, the ability to win trivia contests, and any other situation where they can claim women to be lesser in order to scaremonger.

I’m not going to give the time of day to any “feminist” who isn’t an intersectional feminist, extending this general ethos to all forms of discrimination. TERF discussion groups are a shocking hotbed of just absolutely shocking racism, classism, harping on people’s appearances, and general xenophobia. In particular they routinely come up with conspiracy theories about non-white women being “secretly men,” but they also regularly engage in full-blown “Jews control the banks and media!” conspiracy nonsense, your standard garden variety racism, and come out in vocal opposition to things like programs to give people free access to tampons/pads.

Surely though these people have a “my body my choice” sort of stance on abortion though, right? Why no! TERFs quite famously came out in force to oppose Ireland’s recent decriminalization of abortion.

OK, but what about de-stigmatizing sex-work? Yeah people also often refer to them as “SWERFs.” They all spout of baffling nonsense about “selling bodies” and “prostituted women” and crap like that.

Treating women as actual people and not just vessels for the birthing of new humans? Yeah no. This is like their ENTIRE thing. They define womanhood in terms of motherhood so dogmatically they’d cling to arguments that mean you stop being a woman when you hit menopause and a pregnant child is “a woman.”

How about queer rights in an explicitly cis context? We all generally associate lesbians with feminism, right? Well, funny thing about that. One of the many other terms TERFs use to refer to themselves is “political lesbians.” But they define that not in a way that has anything to do with women, but with “hating men” where of course “men” is acting as a code-word for trans women. They’re plenty fond of actual men, with most “political lesbians” having husbands and all, and they are, you guessed it, broadly repulsed by thoughts of two women being in love with each other.

OK, how about this. Just as a last ditch bare-minimum standard- the basic notion of being kind to women and supporting women’s success. Oh no, absolutely not. These people absolutely go for the throat of any woman who isn’t a member of the cult. Hell even internally they keep tabs on each other with spreadsheets policing language and such. They regularly refer to cis women who don’t actively hate trans people as “handmaidens.” Like as a reference to The Handmaid’s Tale. Specifically the women in it forced into sex slavery. Who they apparently see as the villains because, well, see the above bit on being called SWERFs.

Now as all of the above positions also line up neatly with the politics of Nazis, like the ones who work security when some of these people do public speaking gigs, or the husband of one of them who set up their personal social media site, piggybacking off the one set up for out and out neo-nazis, is it fair to refer to them as Nazis? I mean... it fits close enough that in most practical situations yeah, go right ahead with that. There IS the distinction though that even though they are anti-feminist as all hell, the majority of TERFs are themselves women, therefore your average Nazi thinks of them as sub-human and doesn’t really want to give them a seat at the table. There’s also the friction that Nazis are very much anti-intellectual, and while TERFs are all about denial of basic science, into fake journalism, and all-around disconnected from reality, they’re way way into presenting themselves as intellectuals, which is another big wedge there.

#TERFs #Nazis #fascists #feminism #anti-feminism

[buffenny]

i’ve avoided putting anything on here, on my public accounts because i’m not exactly a public griever. i never will be. i originally wasn’t going to put anything here either, but i think this is the next step in this whole grieving thingy for me.

idec if anyone actually reads this, because this is a comfort for me, plus i don’t think i can stomach not saying anything about someone that meant so much to me despite having never met him. he’s got me through so much. so fucking much. 

also before i get into it, i do want to mention that this is very much me rambling and may also come across sort of vent-like. 

things were really rough for me last night (as im sure it was for so many other people). i cried for so so long to the point where i couldn’t breathe and the only thing i could feel was the pressure of my headache that had formed, it wasn’t even one of those pounding headaches, it was just constant. honestly i blame it on being dehydrated, L to me for not drinking water ig. 

at first i thought it was some kinda of sick joke. about 10 seconds into the video i was actively hoping that it was. i don’t know how to fucking process this or how to properly grieve and i cant even imagine how anyone close to him must be feeling right now. but i bet that they’re fucking proud of him. he’s made such a positive impact on so many fucking people. 

he was the first person i watched when i started watching minecrafters again. instantly i grew attached to his content and his personality. the way he interacted with his friends was just so fucking nice to watch. i cant even explain it well because who the fuck actually manages describes complex emotions like this in full?? 

my first art post on my twitter account was him and my first mcyt post on my instagram account was him. i

 remember being fifteen fucking years old, having no friends and no one to even talk to. i remember being the loneliest i had ever been in my entire life, and i remember how much technos content helped me through that. 

yesterday, when the video was uploaded to his channel, i cried the hardest i had ever cried in my entire life. i have never dealt with grief like this. i’ve never experienced death. but yesterday, everything felt wrong. nothing felt real, it didn’t feel real. i straight up, could not fucking believe it. i still cant believe it. because it doesn’t feel real. i cant wrap my head around him actually being gone. 

and when i say that everything felt wrong, i mean that it felt like i couldn’t do anything. everyone was talking about distractions but i couldn’t distract myself because just the action of doing so felt like i was doing him a disservice. and don’t get me wrong, i know that’s not true, but that’s how it felt. i couldn’t listen to fucking music all day yesterday because the noise was just too loud, and the lights on in my room were too bright so i had to shut them off as well. it all felt so wrong. 

today, seeing the rest of the world move on with their lives was so confusing to me. people have been so excited to watch the new stranger things episodes and i just cant. i cant bring myself to do anything like that. anything that i can’t relate back to technoblade i cant distract myself with. 

i played a bit of minecraft, i watched some of his old videos, i watched phil’s stream. 

it was really nice to laugh with my friends though. i’m glad that i was able to do that today. really fucking glad. 

i’ve been spending a lot of time on twitter. right now the whole place is just full of love and support and other people who are grieving just as much as i am and it’s really fucking nice. 

i’m kind of scared to post this because i’m not really one for being public with my emotions, and i don’t have anything like this on any of my accounts. also the fact that i know my friends will probably see this. but like i said, it felt wrong not to post anything. 

it’s true that i could post something significantly shorter, but i think i’d rather post something that feels more me. 

#technoblade fanart

[thedonkeyofyourdreams]

the bastard son and the devil himself rewatch

Ep. 5

You know what they say. It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop. And that is how I see my rewatching adventure. 

Episode 5 is a good one. Maybe I like it because we don’t spend much time with Jessica and Soul, but rather get to see the trio bond. As they are walking through the forest, Gabriel is leading the way and Annalise (and sometimes Nathan) keep asking typical childlike question - “Are we there yet?” - but not only is Gabriel not a GPS, he is also not all that mature himself, and so responds in an equally childish way. I just appreciate that since it is in this episode they grow closer and Gabriel starts teasing them about sexuality. 

Annalise is faced with fairborns not necessarily being the good ones after finding burned up corpses. “They wouldn’t do this” - um, yeah they would sweetie, your daddy wouldn’t even break a sweat over it. They reach the farm, Nathan uses his papi to get the good will of the scary blood witches, which is smart if no one mentions the prophecy. Hostility turns into hospitality. 

I quite like their days at the farm. How Gabriel teases Nathan with sex. “Shagging sounds like something you’d do to a carpet” STRONG AGREE! Also, the way Gabriel looks at Nathan in this scene. He might be oogling the strong dude at the farm, but judging by him being with Clark before this, his type might not be body builders after all. 

The bloods teach us more about their kind - how there are a few lucky ones with the ability to take other’s powers. How it is a cultural thing, something beautiful, to eat the hearts of your family and loved ones to keep their gifts in the family. How the fairborns killed Marcus’ mother, meaning that he couldn’t get all of the powers she had gained through her time, and that he now ate the hearts of those he killed to make up for it. Sure, he looks a little less barbaric now, but not enough to convince us he’s necessarily ‘gooder’ than the fairborns. Just as bad maybe. 

Bed scene. Of course there is only one bed. Nathan in the middle, Annalise has no wish to be sandwiched, strangely. Gabriel does not seem too bothered, he has spooned people in small beds before I’m guessing. It feels like Annalise is trying to show Nathan that she is ready to bone at the next opportunity. They have a little moment together in the bed. Then boom, morning and we get this gem

This is when I for real started shipping the trio first time around. I love how unbothered Annalise is also. Just two snuggly boys. Soon after, Gabriel invites Nathan to visit him when everything is done, so that he can learn to let his hair down. Can we just take a moment to imagine this? What if they got to Mercury, no prob, here’s your blood, Soul falls off a boat and drowns, and Nathan visits Gabriel in Paris for a weekend of “debauchery” (G’s word, not mine). If no one has written that fic yet, please do. 

There is such a nice vibe to the farmhouse scenes. The light, the plants, Odette singing. It feels cozy - except for when they mention stuff like killing people. Nathan and Annalise go to catch chickens, and it looks like they just gave the same task to the actors and filmed whatever would happen. I could not have done it any better at least. Then they lie in the grass and Annalise goes for it, after telling Nathan that she knows that him being a heart-eater does not mean he wants to eat her heart. I think the sexy session is pretty cute, realistic for the most part. Then the chicken house blows up. I’d think it’s a big turnoff to imagine your lover becoming a blood puddle mid-action. 

They go back with the dead chickens, and Gabriel can tell they have had sex. Of course he can. I guess he knew already when Annalise didn’t want him to join their chicken hunt. Was it Gabriel who inspired her to go for it? Or was it Odette’s flirting with Nathan that made her so keen? Who knows. 

Then comes the hunters and with them a fairborn captive who is to be killed. It is quite beautiful for an execution. Red blood becomes red flowers. Gabriel takes Annalise’s hand, and I would say it is the first time he does something just for her, no sarcastic comment, just empathy. The first of many future supportive hand holdings. 

In the evening, the whole family is gathered when Nathan collapses because of the witche’s bottle spell. The little girl was sent for ingredients and and comes back - as Jessica presumably, but still speaks french. I assume taking the shape of someone doesn’t mean you speak their language, but I guess Jessica is just that good? 

The blood witches, Odette, understand that Annalise is a fairborn, but she has just told Ceelia she never wants to see Soul again, which I guess shows the blood witches that she rejects her own. She gets to live. In the chaos that follows, shots firing back and forth, Jessica has stabbed a man and then comes for Nathan’s finger. She also gets to see Annalise’s power, and I can imagine she would have loved to have something like that. But since she doesn’t, she has to run for it. Gotta get that pinkie to Soul. 

Odette sees her whole family being shot down, but still manages to get the trio to a boat. Ceelia finds them, helps getting a helpless Nathan on the boat, before Odette knocks her out with a shovel. I like Ceelia, but good for you Odette. 

We end the episode on Soul drooling at the sight of the old woman with all the powers. He has truly become the very thing he is hunting. 

#tbsatdh spoilers #rewatching tbsatdh #half bad #the bastard son & the devil himself #this is very long again im sorry #nabrielise #rewatch #nathan byrne #tbsatdh #on to the next episode

[oceansprompts]

𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕗𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕪'𝕤 𝕢𝕦𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

PART 4. . . . adjusted for general use. . . . change as needed for usage

So I guess it’s pretty lucky neither of us is rich, huh?

Oh, darling, I’m so glad to see you. What have you been doing?

I thought you were supposed to be saving yourself and all that.

Look, why don’t we go have a drink or take a walk to celebrate?

I don’t think I’ve ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions, but never before before.

We can spend the whole day doing things we’ve never done before. We’ll take turns. First something you’ve never done, then me.

‘Course, I can’t really think of anything I’ve never done.

Isn’t it wonderful? You see what I mean, how nothing bad could happen to you in a place like this?

Oh, I wouldn’t let you cash your check, but a present for $10 or under, that I’ll accept.

Well, the price is right, but I must say, I’d rather hoped for something slightly more—how shall I say it—romantic in feeling.

Well, we could have this engraved, couldn’t we? I think it would be very smart.

Well, actually, it came inside a... well, a box of cracker jack.

That’s nice to know. It gives one a feeling of solidarity, almost of continuity with the past, that sort of thing.

I mean you don’t think they’d feel it beneath them or anything like that?

Didn’t I tell you this was a lovely place?

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow.

Don’t you think that would be nice? Sort of make it more personal?

Hey did you ever steal anything from a 5-and-10? When you were a kid I mean.

No. I’m the sensitive, bookish type.

I used to. I still do now and then, sort of to keep my hand in.

Don’t be chicken. Anyway, you’ve never done it, and it’s your turn.

You’re crazy. You know that, don’t you? But I love you anyway.

If this is going to be a serious discussion, and suddenly I’m terribly afraid it is, you’re going to have to take off that ridiculous mask. Or else I’m going have to wear one, too.

What’s the matter? Girl trouble? Is that it, darling? Oh, I see. Well, that’s not so serious.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been expecting it. I can’t say I like it, but I’ve been expecting it.

Hasn’t got anything to do with her. This is between you and me.

Curiously enough... she’s a girl who can’t help anyone, not even herself. The thing is, I can help her, and it’s a nice feeling for a change.

Writing a check. Don’t look so bewildered. Surely you’ve noticed me writing checks before.

Thanks for making it easier for me.

Let’s get out of here. I said let’s get out of here. I want to talk to you.

What’s the matter with you anyway? What’s happened?

Well, my dear, you won’t believe this, but it turns out not only is he handsome and wildly rich, he’s absolutely cuckoo for me.

What do you think you own me?

That’s what everybody always thinks, but everybody happens to be wrong.

Look, I am not everybody. Or am I? Is that what you really think? That I’m no different from all your other rats and super rats?

Wait a minute. If that’s it... if that’s what you really think... there’s something I want to give you.

I wouldn’t ask you in, except the place is in such a mess, I couldn’t bear to face it alone.

I don’t see why. There’s no law against busting up your apartment.

Try to help her. I tried. It didn’t do much good.

Hello. Got your wire. How did you know where to reach me?

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