#I will go out for air

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[sleepysebris]

last minute predictions literally right before the special airs

#this popped into my brain today and I was out busy until 8pm #I NEEDED TO POST BEFORE IT AIRS BECAUSE. WHAT IF IM WRONG #im gonna wait for subs to watch it so #gonna go sleep and wake up and hope i can watch it hehe 😎 #miraculous ladybug #ml paris special #shadybug #claw noir #toxinelle #griffe noire #my ml comics

[lotus-pear]

double black

#lotus try to go one day without thinking abt skk challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) #also poses in the first img are referenced from thegrayninja on deviantart!! #nobody in this fandom draws chuuya just constantly floating around as opposed to walking and i think thats a crime #if you think a 15yo boy w gravity powers wouldn't absolutey abuse the shit out of that ability and just refuse to walk #then you're wrong. and you know it. #ik for a fact my lazy ass would take advantage of the fact that i could just move freely in the air and not have to waste energy walking #wish dazai didn't have nullification bc then chuuya could pick him up and they could recreate the hmc scene (chuuya would drop him /hj) #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[obsob]

oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!

#mine #cats #i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway #ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things #me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun #i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph #like we dont need to be doing all that #as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice #anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is #whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling #have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3 #its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK #there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong #i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3 #ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason #still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies #anyway. i am going 2 bed

[nellasbookplanet]

M9: "sometimes we don’t want to deal with a violent fight so we just polymorph our opponent into something harmless and embarrassing and leave"

BH: "we also have a non-violent method! We put our enemies in The Hole"

M9: "oh neat! And then you leave before they can climb out?"

BH: "what no we forget about them until they run out of air and die horribly"

M9:

BH: "there are so many bodies down there"

#hey does vox machina also have a nontraditional nonviolent method of attack? #critical role #cr2 #cr3 #bells hells put ludinus and otohan in the hole challenge #it would be good for them i think #like making a child go sit in a corner but the corner is running out of air #to be fair i vaguely remember caduceus putting a dead enemy in a barrel so it would grow mushrooms for tea #so bh are far from the most morbid of the bunch lmao #nella talks cr

[poisonedfate]

i think what makes my stomach turn the most is how much of arthur was known and learnt by merlin. entire world's full of sadness, grief, anger, happiness, joy, love. he knew all of it, was there for most of it. he knew that man inside and out, better than arthur knew himself. merlin, god, merlin knew every little bit of him. literally. and arthur only got as much as merlin could give. as much as merlin was allowed. it's like they were in the same room, separated by glass. merlin could see arthur clear as day, whilst arthur stared through something that was all but a double sided mirror, only bits and pieces visible, the rest of it just reflecting himself.

#this was going to be a longer post #i had more to say more to explain #but my own mirror analogy just knocked the air out of me #need to go lay down #bbc merlin #merthur

[candle-scm]

not thinking things through

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zukka #zuko #sokka #digital art #atla fanart #my art #artists on tumblr #i like to think sokka and zuko started sucking face at the western air temple #which is fun because it brings the angst of falling for somebody right before a life-or-death battle #and also sokka lamenting being fwb with the worst guy ever #even if he is recently reformed and maybe not so bad #hes still zuko #and sokkas rationality goes out the window #no matter how hard he tries #also obligatory rip toph #school has been kicking my ass but im still going to draw zukka dammit

[hiphopcherrrypop]

dey're like his wingmen

#bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri #bucchigiri fanart #matakara asamine #tomoshibi arajin #zabu #komao #idk how to draw any of them #trying to draw anime hair makes me feel like throwing up + also throwing myself in a ditch #help meeee #guys. guys. guys. g #hello my brain. can i hyperfixcate on like anything else #i'm like actually going bonkers insane i'm tweaking #i've had work every day since it aired and im losing it every break i have i just be searching up bucchigiri on every site istg #I FORGOT TO VCOLOR THEIR ARMBANDS 👎 #and i realizing somehow only now i drew komao's skirt too short he is oging to get dress coded i fear #matakara is sooo cute he looks so ouppy #I DIDNT KNOW SENYA WAOULD BE SO SILLY BILLYYYY EITHER #LIKE WHAT R U BEING A CUTIE PATOOTIE MAKING :3 FACES FOR!!! #me actting shocked that an original anime that literally came out 4 days ago doesnt have a million billion fans 😨😱??? #thair heights are messed up my bad whatever #zabu kakeru #sakigake komao

[squibo]

*♡೫̥*･:.·˖*✩⡱Here’s the finished pompompurin columbo i sculpted! Ain’t he cute ｡:°ஐ♡*ﾟ*✩‧₊˚

Under the cut is some collage work in progress and a size comparison next to a sonny angle

#a lot of mistakes and a lot of learning I did while sculpting it #I’m going to make one more☝️ #this will be ver. 1 #as you can see I forgot to add his raincoat pockets #should’ve added more buttons on coat #also wanted to add in his little loops he has on his raincoat lapel #I wanna use the rustic color air dry clay next time I buy it #his cigar 😫😫😫 🫶 #maaaaan i could’ve used some of that tacky tape to stick his cigar on his little paw but I went with the flexible magnet …… #omg also also had to carve out pants for him 😭 #columbo #pompomlumbo #pompompurin #pompompurin columbo

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so #it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞 #but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways #and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor #the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze #he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face #I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for #I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out #I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us #“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?” #I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there” #his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.” #“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone #“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves #whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell… #gpoy

[lemongogo]

sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999

#trigun #trigun maximum #elendira #elendira the crimsonnail #my art #im sure u can see it but ive been so uninspired w art lately T_T #ive tried to remedy it by just looking and observing. breaking down other works that i want 2 take direction from #but i tjknk its like . just jamming ME UPPP #and now im tjinking Too much ab it and psyching myself out #help me sorry i blow up the tags on every drawing i post ab my art struggles😭😭 #its like im whispering in here thouggh. just talking 2 myself and no one has 2 know except the ppl dealing w the same feelings #HAJAHA #anyways. i drew this just to say i finally drew smth agajn and im just going to be ok w it #like sure its not exciting but i like the colors and that shld be enough . OK !!!! #smth smth saw a post that talked ab how u get too in ur Head about this and then u dont share stuff and it becomes cyclical #and youll never get anywhere unless u just throw ur hands in the air and let it Be . #creating 4 the sake of creating . love and joy in sharing what we made and what we like #YAAAY #and bc i love elendira so much.. my go to girlie 4 art block #i need to draw her in fight scenes . i need 2 make art of her like sweaty and bloody yah . clenching my fist #maybe a livio fight scene bc i love it so much T_T

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!

Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #wei wuxian #shen qingqiu #xie lian #better drawn mdzs #(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery) #Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done! #Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there. #The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS! #*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises. #What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible! #Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic. #Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad. #Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up! #Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*) #I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.

[lotus-pear]

regret

#literally excuse the shitty anatomy and cell shading i was thinking abt chuuyas reaction to what he'd done and i decided to make it skk #bc skk copium :') #the way i've hated dazai so fucking much but i still cried like a bitch when he died #he's not dead the bsd fandom has this phase like the elevator chapter where we're like ''dazai's not gonna make it he's done for!!'' #and then he comes back next chapter like surprise bitches yall thought i was dead lmao #this chapter fucking HURT for skk shippers tho like we rly lost this time around huh #deluding myself into thinking that chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet #bc we didn't see a bullet hole behind dazais head like when chuuya shot his shoulder even though the bullet to his skull was fired at close #the reason theres a wound is bc the compressed air that was still fired was enough to wound him #and the shock wave that followed caused him to pass out bc of the sudden tension to his head intermingled with the blood loss and poison #we also know dazai can control his heart rate at will so maybe he can drop his pulse to zero for like thirty secs #enough to make fyodor believe he's dead #in the event that all of this is untrue and dazai rly does die the way my entire being will go numb and cold and dead #knowing that fyodor will most likely use dazai's death as a weapon against chuuya effectively chaining him to his side #like bffr chuuya may dislike dazai but that's his partner his reflection the boy that makes him desperately want to be human #dazai is the embodiment of chuuyas humanity and once chuuya loses that tether to his human side he will snap and the facade will shatter #and we will truly see chuuya unhinged with nothing more keeping him bound to his mortal shell #this wasn't the skk reunion we wanted asigiri what the fuck :( #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #lotus draws

[tango-but-everywhere]

THE CROWD GOES WILD

return of create mod??

#tango tek #tangotek #not tango #tangotalk #<- i dont think i have ever used that tag actually #create mod 2 #create squad #anyway it’s like 5am for me i woke up because my air conditioner started leaking water and it make a huge and terrible noise and then also #spat out an ice cube so that’s fun #im going back to bed now though it is far too early

[shopcat]

i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

#🍦 #answer it's bc people think he's some mishmash of all alternative scenes without any actual knowledge of where the mashing occurs 😭 #eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll #it's so funny when ppl try and describe it and they've never heard the stuff he actually listens to in their lives for some reason #literally so much of the appeal of eddie's character within his subculture is that its theatrical and dramatic but its still grounded #he's very alternative and Out There but he's still just some guy. he's not wearing spiked leather jackets #in fact he's not wearing any of the other kinds of leather jackets i've seen people say he would ... TO ME #sts #if u haven't seen the clip he then proceeds to air guitar the MoP melody then shouts heavy metal is everywhere #i don't even know how to explain this bc it's like ... okay #the general .. VIBE? aestheticsm? is kind of similar to what people sometimes portray but they're missing thst it's tongue in cheek #like it's like that buff poster of him being this anachronistic homage to heavy metal album covers #fire and satanic imagery and skulls and lightning and big drama and ROCK AND ROLL #it's rock and ROLL man... #and people r making him this weird sanitised dork LOL 😭 when he's a dork in a different more fun way.. imo #and it's not that those types of people don't exist and that they're not cool in their own way cuz they are sure but that's not THIS GUY #he is an 80S METALHEAD... and yeah i try and ground him in thinfs and poke and prod at it until it fits my own understanding of alternative #scenes better but that's bc i've had a hand in the punk scene for years and years #i dunno sometimes i feel like ppl r just not doing the full potential and then going way too hard in this super specific direction #and he ends up first of all usually just a massive douchebag not sure what that's about. But a guy who he would in canon HATE 😭 #YOU ARE MAKING HIM A POSER. is what i'm saying #he is alwyas some guy before he's anything else and before he's that he's a 20 year old loser #you need to reflect this... You need to bottle it. ugh. ugh #so much of this reminds me of the time someone was like he would never wear PLAID #like are you kidding me. are you actually kidding me rn #ppl have this weird arstheticised mostly modern and mostly literallt just eboy Idea of what he'd wear it's crazy to me sorry #also it's ugly #i also think. this is so long lol . anyway . i also think going too ''authentic'' in the 80s metalhead direction also lands u w different #problems. my advice to people trying to write or draw alternative characters is they are People. before they are anything else #🍏

[moongothic]

MY BLANKET OF DARKNESS HAS BEEN COMPLETED

✨👁️✨ I AM SO COZY NOW ✨👁️✨

So I started working on this blanket around June of 2022. Got like, maybe half-way through the blanket and then the yarn I needed for the blanket went out of stock at my local yarn shop. Now I didn't know the yarn would be completely unavailable for like 6 months (until the stop closed permanently), so I just kept on waiting, hoping for it to come back in stock-- but it never did, so in January I finally looked online if I could find the yarn elsewhere and I did, I got the yarn I needed, and finished the blanket. So it kinda took me 6 months to make this blanket but also not

What made this blanket a truly exciting and fun project for me is that this has been the first blanket I actually made for myself and designed for myself. Like I've enjoyed every single blanket project I've had so far, but having a blanket that's Just For Me is just. It's nice

I originally planned the granny squares out digitally because I wanted to have a fun pattern of different granny squares, something that wouldn't be too busy looking and was carefully planned, and here's what I came up with

I had two versions of the square pattern, one with moon phases right in the middle of it and another without them. I do like how the moon version looked and part of me kinda regrets not making that one, but I'm not sure the moons would have really gone well with the eyes... So I did go with the first version

(Sidenote, it's not on the pattern above but I added extra rows of just black squares at the top and bottom of the blanket, so there's two rows of black instead of just one)

(Sidenote 2, although I knew I wanted the blanket to be mostly black from the begining, I wasn't entirely sure what accent color I wanted to use, it really was depending on what colors the shop had available. Like I used yellow as kind of a default color since it worked nice with the stars and eyes, but I could've gone with some other color too. In the end, because I didn't like the color options for the yarn at the shop I ended up going with a yellow anyways) (Also I tested out a reverse color version with the pastel purple and white base and no eyes, just for funsies, it looks kinda neat)

But yeah, that's how the planning of the blanket went.

The blanket is made of 231 squares in total, 11x21 rows. 186 of the squares are plain black, the rest are patterned. The star squares were the worst to make because of how many strands of yarn I had to weave in, 0/10, would not reccommend.

I used the Cedro 100% wool yarn (reccomended hook size 5, 50g=100m), and it took me about 38 balls of yarn to finish the blanket (including crocheting all the squares together and doing a single round of double crochet around the blanket to finish it off)

This is literally all the yarn I have left from this blanket; one untouched ball of black and three partially used balls.

I gotta admit.

I'm kind of shocked by the size of the blanket. Like I very carefully measured it to make it the exact size to fit my bed, and it fits perfectly. But I'm still kinda shocked how big it is. (Which is why I didn't make the border of the blanket any bigger, even though I could've with the yarn I have)

Also

It's HEAVY

Like, of course it's heavy, it's 100% wool and thick, but MAN I didn't expect it lmao

But that kind of makes it perfect for cold winters especially, it's super warm and the weight makes it cozy- like who needs a weighted blanket when you can have one of these lmao

Now I just need to figure out how to protect the blanket from being covered in my white cat's hair...

#Yarncraft Diary #Yarncraft #Crochet #Crochetblr #Yarnblr #Emotionally I classify this as a 2022 project even though I didn't finish it until this year #No I did not block the squares before putting the blanket together #I was planning on just ironing the squares to flatten them out but I noticed last minute that... #...the yarn doesn't reccommend it be ironed so. I didn't want to risk ruining it #And I don't really have a blocking board or anything so I just had to let it go #I could probably just hang the blanket on the clothesline in the shower and the weight of it... #...on top of whatever moisture there might be in the air would probably straighten the blanket out a bit #So it wouldn't ''buckle'' the way it does now #But ehhh it's fine #I don't mind it really