#I was never satisfied

[canisalbus]

✦ I was never as good as I always thought I was ✦

#but I knew how to dress it up #I was never satisfied #it never let me go #just dragged me by my hair and back on with the show #own art #own characters #CanisAlbus #Machete #Vasco #anthro #sighthound #dogs #canine #animals #I've been trying to come up with an outfit for Vasco that would go with Machete's void attire #something super simplistic and removed from canon fashion #no luck so far

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[giantchasm]

I hope in the next Legends game they isekai one of the Sordward/Shielbert duo so I can see people writing angst and saying stuff like “they separated him from his other half 😭” “he misses his brother 🥺” about the guys who look like this.

#pokemon #i want to see just how insane the extremely weirdly designed minor characters gamefreak can get people invested in are #also yes for the record i understand the train guys (who this is a playful jab at) were already popular before pla but #as someone who never cared about them beforehand this is what seeing their sudden explosion in popularity felt like #give me angst of THESE guys though or i’ll never be satisfied #it’d be too funny

[mylittleredgirl]

my favorite way of participating in some fandoms is from the bleachers. i'm in the nosebleed seats with a pair of binoculars watching a full on bloodbath in the arena below, having the time of my life.

#this is a post about me missing supernatural cw which i never watched #i am yet to find a replacement that satisfies my hunger for chaotic fandom drama i do not understand and i AM taking recommendations

[hanase]

I am obsessed with Atem right now. It's been going on for a few months. There's a story here but I can't write for shit. I'll upload a lot more soon!

#pharaoh atem #atem #yugioh #I've always loved youuu #destroy me my king #we are in for some fucked up ride my boooooi #Finally #eyes I can get behind after 20 years trying #I tried forever to do some semirealistic eyes and I was never satisfied so fuck them we keep them stylized #I am still bad at his hair but I like the crazy approach tbh #not his bangs tho those are easy #also what a fucking boss you are #a beautiful god yesplz #fair warning #I am going to post triggering stuff with him involved soon #I'll tag properly!

[blackbackedjackal]

Generational Trauma (wip)

#“maybe I'm just like my mother she's never satisfied” has been ringing in my head for months but oooh boy #studio #anyway I have art motivation now #wip

[forestgranted]

you hate each other & your love yourselves

it might be heaven & it might be hell

#grian #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #double life fanart #third life #trafficblr #3rd life #life series #my art #oh god this took so fricking long but i had to finish it i would never be satisfied with myself until then #desertduo

[usurperss]

thinking about the de-bimbofication of my oc revon

#ramble #they are one of my first ocs I created with 13 y/o #always struggled with their design and felt never satisfied with it until now #revon supposed to be a high femme 😭 now they are just an androgyn goth lesbian with a hint of rat

[diurnalvl]

seven years ago, they used to be friends. almost.

1 / 2 / ?

#diurna draws #vox #alastor #staticradio #radiostatic #radiosilence #onewaybroadcast #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #gosh i love doing more complex shading to make fake screencaps it's so satisfying. #sorry for using my personal vox design this is purely self indulgent. hey maybe vox only starts wearing bowties after this #anyways part two is going to be uploaded in a bit my doves <3 #vox made his way through the trapdoor that's why he's initially on his knees #...not any other reason... #he's so danger unaware to alastor going haywire #thing is i feel that during their friendship vox was long used to alastor hurting other people in front of him that it just... #doesn't occur to him that alastor would've ever hurt him in that way. #shame #because it never occured to alastor that vox would cross that line and ruin their friendship. #alastor is somehow desperately angry and desperately sad #and angrier still that vox gets to make him feel that way. #suddenly #alastor feels a pearl of absolute hatred form inside of him #he's never felt so strongly about something in his entire afterlife #if only my shitty little aces could communicate and stop being insane for one second. sigh.

[circtheeunbroken]

he's beauty he's grace (he's plotting tax evasion, according to my best friend)

#dragon age #zevran arainai #dragon age zevran #fanart #dragon age fanart #circartssometimes #i always feel like he never looks right when i draw him #but this time i am mildly satisfied with the results #prayer circle to see zevran in dad

[canisalbus]

do you pencil traditionally and then colour digitally, or do you just have a very convincing digital pencil brush? I really love the organic, sketchy feel of your work.

I always sketch and ink on paper first, then scan the piece and color it digitally.

#haven't quite learned how to do the whole process digitally from start to finish in a way that feels natural and satisfying #I enjoy the physicality and lo-fi nature of pens and paper #and the quick and easy coloring and editing possibilities of digital art #99.9% of my art is made this way #sometimes I go fully traditional but never fully digital #answered #spadefish

[a-s-levynn]

"A sacred guardian" A Series of Small Offerings - IV/1 - day33

#a series of small offerings #sleep token fanart #levynn tries to draw #i had this thing in my head since i put together the small offerings challenge #that was in last november #so this was cooking in my brain for some time now #this was the only one i had a very clear idea for what i wanted #the only thing wasn't set in stone was what runes i want to put on him #this is my sistine chapel #this is the peak #we only gonna go down from here #hope you like it because i worked on this pretty much all day and i've never been this happy or satisfied with anything i ever did probably #and yes this is one of my standard ca. 13 cm tall drawings as per usual before anyone asks #also yes Darya you guessed it that was the tmbte moon rising on the missing limbs one #sleep token #vessel fanart #vessel i #i sleep token #sleep token i #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to think

[shripscapi]

In this light she could almost be a beauty, he thought. In this light she could almost be a knight.

#brienne of tarth #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #probably everyone has drawn this scene by now but that won’t stop me from throwing my hat in the ring #and this is technically the second time i’ve drawn it #the first time was a few months ago but I was never fully satisfied. I’m glad I tried again #even if it’s still not perfect ! #my art

[u3pxx]

can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot

#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl #i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters #she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS #the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever #and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her #i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll #i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^( #ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3 #sunnysidedraws #den's ocs tag #described #id in alt text #ocs #original character

[muzzleroars]

Thinking about "Good morning" and "Hello world" having the same meaning just for two different species

born worlds apart but both the same

#ultrakill #listen i loved this idea..... #so god concept i will never be satisfied with and v1's lead designer #i just wanted to get this out!!!! i love them..... #doodle tag #v1 #melchior #(v1's design team is just. named after the three kings) #gabriel #lucifer #god (oc) #lmao....

[ryllen]

maybe i do want us to kiss a little more

#can you really accept who i am ... ? the fact i am a human and will forever a human; just like how u are never satisfied with yourself #u might never satisfied with me either #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #lilia vanrouge #twst mc #fanart #i . just . wanted to draw . a kiss . #but i did think a lot if he have a desire to be with a strong fae partner so he can erase the human blood from his lineage little by little #or he'd feel guilty about dirtying his fae partner's blood for passing human blood in him to another fae child & make them possibly weak #i think he would somewhat feel guilty too to make a human half fae child because where their place would be then #maybe his true desire is just to end his blood with him as malleus guard and that's all there's to it #i wish all his doubt would be erased once he saw how beautiful his child with his eyes is #just a child who will try their best no matter what blood they have in them