#I want to get as large a sample size as possible

[tomeandflickcorner]

Trying to prove a point to a friend. Is using dish soap to wash your hair weird or not?

#please reblog #I want to get as large a sample size as possible

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Attracting a Mate

Female Yandere Scorpion Hybrid x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Kidnapping, venom, no smut, mentions of oviposition, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 1.2k (I hope everyone likes this, this was done because someone requested a female Talin, so they act very similar. I am attracted to all genders so I do not mind making yanderes that are not male, I just don’t do female readers.)

 Ever since Tahlia saw her brother Talin’s tiny human mate she simply had to have one for herself. So feisty, energetic, cute, and the perfect size to pick up and move easily. You could even stuff em’ full of eggs apparently so one would definitely make a good incubator.  Tahlia did not want another scorpion-person as a mate, going into one’s territory could be dangerous if they were not seeking a mate or already had one, and if one entered her territory it could be dangerous if they did not have the best of intentions.  But these cute humans were no threat, and besides she wanted to be the strong provider in a relationship and mating with another of her species there was always a chance there would be a contest for dominance. And of course they might not even stick around after mating and she did not see any possibility that a human mate would ever want to leave.  Why would a human leave her? She was so much bigger and stronger than any other human, so surely to any human she would be the most fit mate, able to provide security, land, and food far more easily than one human could provide for another.  But how could she even find a human that was in need of a mate? She decided that she would have to travel if she was serious about having what her brother had stumbled onto.  You were part of an expedition team set out to explore the now open Treragar borderlands, near the edge of the desert. There were botanists, zoologists, geologists, a cartographer, a couple artists to draw specimens and landscapes, and you, a research assistant helping the botanists and zoologists.  The people native to this country would not even come within miles of the borderlands, telling strange tells of large skittering beasts and deadly serpents, the expedition members did not believe such superstitious nonsense, though there was a supposed disappearance of one of the first field scientists willing to come here, but it was far more likely that they just got lost and succumbed to the heat rather than any impossible fantasy beast nabbing them.  The expedition was slowly making its way to the predicted location of an oasis, and studying and documenting anything interesting along the way. The border land deserts may look barren and dead at first glance, but there was life to be found even in this harsh habitat.  The scene was almost fantastical, with sandy hills that were as white and smooth as milk. Were it not for the harsh heat of the midday sun and the sparse scrubland, anyone could be convinced they were gazing upon an endless scene of snow.    Your first days of the expedition were spent trudging through the sand and brush, collecting samples as directed. Seeds, leaves, flowers, shed scales from a creature yet unseen.  At night you would go to the far side of camp, you were not very friendly with the others and preferred to remain alone. You would start a small fire, heat up your rations, and then put out the small blaze before going to sleep in your sleeping bag.  One night you were so exhausted that your eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and you drifted off to sleep while waiting for your food to heat up. The scent of food cooking and the light of the fire caught Tahlia’s attention, who had traveled far from her land in search of a rare human mate.  She observed you silently, getting as near to the camp as she dared, she looked upon all the humans, most of them huddled on one side of the camp, but you left all alone.  Poor thing, must be the only one left mateless, so desperate for a mate to come and take care of you that you passed out while tending to your beacon that had so effectively attracted her. Well, no need to worry anymore, Tahlia was going to take good care of you.  The large scorpion woman approached carefully to the edge of the campsite where you were sleeping peacefully.  She did not want you waking up when you were sleeping so cutely, and she wanted to bring you home as fast as possible so she stung you quickly with her harmless paralytic venom that would make sure you would stay peacefully dreaming. She was anxious to communicate with you, but Talin had told her how his human had been so excitable and determined to play when he first found them.  Better not to cause any noise that may alert the other humans to her presence, she was in their territory and did not know how they would react.  When you woke up from the best sleep you had ever had your cheek was resting against a soft warm pillow… wait… that wasn’t right… and you were now leaning against something not laying down flat on your back as you normally slept…  That’s when you realized you were snuggled up close into the bizarrely warm bare chest of a woman. You blushed deeply as you inhaled her strong but not unpleasant scent. Had one of the other expedition members gotten drunk and wandered over to you? Had they gotten you drunk too? Your mind was a bit hazy.  You looked up and realized you had no idea who this woman was, her long red hair, pale skin, and surprisingly muscular physique were entirely foreign to you.  And where the hell were you? This was not camp, this was some kind of cave or burrow.  And then you looked down and shrieked. Dear gods, the stories were true, from the waist down she was a huge white and black chitinous arachnid, some type of scorpion beast.  You flailed wildly, falling back and landing on your butt. You scrambled to get up and ran in terror for the early morning light trickling through the entrance of Tahlia’s den. But your scream had woken the scorpion lady.  “Oh, you want to race little mate? So early? I think we should eat before we play!” You could not understand her and even if you could you were more focused on fleeing. She rushed after you and caught you right after you had taken your first step out of your new home.  She held you tight to her chest and nuzzled affectionately before making noises you could not interpret. “Oh, wow, Talin was right. Human mates are so eager and playful. I am just so so lucky I found you! Running off like that could have been dangerous before you had me to protect you~”  “Don’t worry my precious gem, we can play as much as you want later, but for now let me get you some food.” Tahlia picked you up easily in her muscular arms, her large biceps not even straining as she placed you back in her nest. She stroked your hair gently before going to prepare you a meal. You were too terrified to move… at the very least it did not seem like your life was in danger yet…  Maybe after you ate you two could play a while before she filled you full of nice eggs, she was sure you would love that. Keeping her new mate all cute and needy and full of eggs would certainly make sure you would never ever want to leave your new den right?  

#yandere teratophilia #yandere exophilia #yandere terato #female x gender neutral reader #scorpion monster #scorpion monster x reader #monster x gender neutral reader #My OC Tahlia #My OCs #female yandere #yandere x gender neutral reader

[killerrobot-killingmatch]

New Favorite Robot Poll (Part 1)

★ Reblog for a bigger sample size ★ Definitions under cut

Part 2 Here

Robot: a machine resembling a human being and able to replicate certain human movements and functions automatically. / It must be able to do at least one task a human could do physically in a similar way. Doesn't have to resemble physically.

Android: A robot with a human appearance. / Looks more possibly human. Uncanny in their similarities even if clear differences.

Cyborg: A person whose physical abilities are extended beyond normal human limitations by mechanical elements built into the body. / Person with mechanical limbs (I don't really care if it enhances it tbh, let cool tech limbs count as cyborgs of they want). Can apply to any living organism by adding it's name at the end so click that if you like animal/plant/other cyborgs.

Ai/ Artificial Intelligence: The theory and development of computer systems able to perform tasks that normally require human intelligence, such as visual perception, speech recognition, decision-making, and translation between languages. / A computer that can think, function, and process mentally like a human with complex thought. Doesn't require a body.

Mecha/Mechs: A large armored robot, typically controlled by a person riding inside the robot itself. / Big, has a person driving... usually. Mechs are known to be larger and thicker than Mechas (Who are more humanoid), but for the sake of not getting anyone confused and their main source they're sharing an option.

Industrial Robots: Are robotic arms that can move in several directions and can be programmed to carry out many different types of tasks in different environments. / Arms only

Animatronic:of, relating to, or being a puppet or similar figure that is animated by means of electromechanical devices

Automation: automatically controlled operation of an apparatus, process, or system by mechanical or electronic devices that take the place of human labor

Nanobot: A hypothetical, very small, self-propelled machine. Especially one that has some degree of autonomy and can reproduce.

Hologram: a three-dimensional image formed by the interference of light beams from a laser or other coherent light source.

Droid: (in science fiction) a robot, especially (but not always) one with an appearance resembling that of a human.

Lack of an exoskeleton: Robot where its just the skeleton and all the wires and stuff are exposed

#poll time #mod hera #robots

[teladen-cryptid]

Haven’t used tumblr in awhile because of some life events (positive!) BUT I made a survey for anyone in the MOGAI community! (Link below). It has six sections and asks questions about gender, orientation, disability, plurality, and alterhumanity and about how they interact with MOGAI identity.

It’s kind of my version of the gender census… but for the MOGAI community! If I get a sizeable amount of results I’m thinking about making it a yearly thing. :) I’ll also release results in maybe a week? If there are enough replies!

Thank you so much if you take it!!

ALSO I’d REALLY appreciate boosts!!! Esp from blogs that can reach a lot of ppl. It would help the sample size be as large as possible and would make the results more interesting! If you don’t want to reblog or have a small blog or something, feel free to post the link to other websites and/or share it with your friends! The only requirement is that to fill it out you have to be part of the MOGAI community. :D

[laughingogre]

The Recluse and The Huntsman

Chapter 1: Open Season

Hey y’all, thanks for the love on this already. I’ll have an AO3 account soon so the formatting will get better but bear with me for now. I’m incorporating certain parts of the comics version of Miguel’s powers and the city, so it’s more dystopian cyberpunk and he doesn’t have a spidey-sense.

Premise: Miguel has always felt like an outcast in spider society because of the way he got his powers. But after meeting Saanvi, he’s never felt more proud to be one-of-a-kind.

Pairings+Tropes: OC x Miguel O’Hara, anti-hero x hero, enemies to rivals (it’s complicated) to lovers

Warnings: violence, depictions of alcohol and drug use, adult language, and the objectification of an unconscious Miguel

Here’s the playlist for this story. Songs 3-5 fit this chapter.

Sunlight poking through the blackout curtains of the studio woke Saanvi up gently. The involuntary stretch and yawn felt like heaven after a night asleep at the large L-shaped desk. She pushed the chair back and stood up, noticing the soft blinking notification lights on the idle holo-screen and her cellphone. In a fluid motion she pushed in the chair and grabbed the phone, scrolling down the notification board while making her way through the loft towards the kitchen.

🔘 Jai Drago (3) WHAT ABOUT THE SAMPLES…

🔘 Nekyo (1) What’s in it for me?

🔘 Rordan Hilt (5) I can try to get you some…

🔘 Guavin (1) Sure, but only if you get me…

A smirk played on her lips as she pulled the fridge open with one hand and jammed the phone in a pocket with the other. After breakfast, she called her team to set up a meeting.

***

“So, what are we getting dragged into now?” Nekyo probed the group sarcastically. Chuckles resounded in different voices as they all got more comfortable.

The five of them were all gathered in the basement of Drago’s workshop. They sat around a table with a built in holodex that Saanvi had projecting her research notes.

“I’m going to personally investigate Spider-Man and you’re all going to help me. You know I’ll make it worth your while.” Saanvi smirked.

“When you say investigate… what do you mean exactly?” Drago chimed in, not wanting to lose his best customer.

“I’m going to figure out what kind of beast he is, and then figure out a way to stop him.” Saanvi didn’t want to explicitly tell them that she wanted him dead, that would reveal her fear too much.

“Isn’t he just some buff freak who has a lot of tech? I mean his webbing is neon…” Guavin trailed off to stuff some chips in his mouth, letting crunching sounds finish his sentence.

“I thought that too, until I was in the same room as him during that data pirate job. He’s… like me… but man-made.” Saanvi struggled to choke down the cocktail of disgust and fear that stirred in her as she said that. The only people who knew exactly what she was were sitting in the room with her. Saanvi was from a race of spider demons. They could take human forms, lived well beyond centuries, and spoke what was now a dead language, thanks to Thanos. As a brown recluse, her kind never had large numbers due to their behavior. She was an even more rare creature in the universe now since the destruction of her home world.

“How could you tell?” Guavin grumbled through a mouthful. “I thought it was all a gimmick.”

“Instinct. He reeks like a huntsman and has the size of one, but we all know it’s not possible he was born that way. Someone made him like that, and what if they make more?” Saanvi’s question threw electricity into the air, as if forcing all their minds to imagine an army of those self-righteous pests in the city.

“Okay so what? You’re going to stalk him and then…?” Nekyo piped up. She was already wavering on her interest in this, and Saanvi wasn’t close to convincing her to lending a hand.

“No, I’m not going to stalk him,” Saanvi rolled her eyes hard before cutting them at Nekyo. “I’m going to get close to him, find out who and what gave him those abilities and then…” She searched for the right words. “Get rid of the source and deprive him of them. At the least, he’ll be completely out of our way so we can have our way in the future.”

Now everyone was listening with real interest. A city without Spider-Man’s morality keeping trash alive was a city to smile about. They’d be able to take out their competition and deal with the psychos that terrorize their home permanently. A sigh came from Nekyo that let Saanvi know she would cooperate.

“What’s the plan then?” Rordan finally said something. Always soft spoken, his question finalized the discussion’s move from “convince the group” to “create a play”.

“I can’t see how you’d get him to come out of hiding without making yourself an enemy.”

“It’s easy… I’m going to use his nature against him. When I sensed him, I took to hiding in the vents. I was able to watch him for a bit—he had no idea I was there.”

“He doesn’t have any spider senses?” Saanvi shook her head and Rordan made a note of that, mind immediately running to ways of exploiting it. “We can definitely work around that.”

Their meeting went on for another two hours until their game plan was finalized.

***

Nekyo had cashed in a few favors to get the intel that led to their setup a few weeks later. She found out there was a group of anti-Spider-Man enthusiasts who were planning to use hostages as bait to lure him out and kill him. They made sure that Saanvi would be among those hostages tonight.

In the city’s most prestigious museum there was a gala being held for charity. No doubt those funds were just being recycled back into the rich pockets they came from but that wasn’t uncommon. Saanvi had an invitation and came dressed to the nines. A black form fitting gown that skirted the floor showed off her toned hourglass figure. Matching black heels with a silver ankle strap complimented her jewelry. Her long, dark hair was curled and worn in an elegant updo. As she made her way through the lobby she surveyed the room, noting exits and taking stock of the guests. A familiar voice spoke to her through a nearly-invisible earpiece.

“Their plan should kick off in an hour, feel free to enjoy yourself until then.” Rordan playfully suggested, noting the fact that on his feed from the contacts she was wearing a tall, black haired woman hadn’t left Saanvi’s field of vision. “Try talking to her instead of just staring.” His comment made her face burn, and she took a glass of champagne off a tray held by a nearby waiter. Waiting around in big crowds was never her strong suit. She felt naked without her usual mission gear—she hadn’t done anything like this in over eight years.

The hour passed uneventfully, conversations with the extremely wealthy weren’t interesting at all. However the energy shifted immediately as the opening speaker’s speech took a dark turn announcing that everyone in the museum was now a hostage and how they’d been given poison via the champagne.

How cliche… Saanvi thought, taking another sip of her third glass of champagne. Her resistance to poison making this reveal a non-event. Soon enough, she could hear far-off sirens coming towards the front of the building. First the cops, then the spider… She opened her clutch to look for the weapon that Rordan and Drago had devised for this night. Using an isolate compound from her venom, they devised a perfume that would make their target immobile and a sickness would follow. All she had to do was wait for him to take out the group before spraying herself with it and then haul him off as soon the commotion granted her enough cover.

Everything happened so quickly. Saanvi’s spine tingled with the awareness that her quarry was near. Once he appeared he made quick work of his attackers. His combat abilities were actually impressive to her. As his fight came to a close and cops and emergency responders flooded the scene, she saw her opportunity and gave herself three sprays of the perfume before putting on her best performance of a terrified socialite. She threw herself into him, screaming with fake tears in her eyes.

“You have to get me out of here! I’ve been poisoned! They laced the champagne!” Her hands thumped against his well-muscled chest as dramatically as possible. She watched his mask contort in shock and then turn serious.

“Ma’am please calm down! The EMTs are aware of the situation and they will help you, they already started pumping a neutralizer into the air.” His voice was stern and deep, she noticed a Spanish accent as well. He was grabbing at her wrists and missing each time, his reflexes already affected by the perfume wafting off her chest.

“No you don’t understand! It’s not enough!” Saanvi’s theatrics had her ear piece erupting in giggles from both Rordan and Drago now. She watched as her quarry started to sway on his feet and that was her signal. In a swift motion she pushed him through a set of doors that led to a closed off gallery where they were alone. His body stiffed and he tried to speak but no noise came. The world swirled around him and the floor came up to meet him. Standing over him, sure he was down for the count, she finally spoke to the two men privy to her sight. “Time for extraction. Send a nice car, please.” She removed the contact lens that was streaming her vision and took a long look at the man on the ground beneath her. His body was certainly a marvel, every muscle pushed past normal human standards. He might as well have been made from spun steel, or sculpted from marble. Even unconscious he had a menacing effect on her, like he was made to be aggressively intimidating. His waist was almost impossibly small compared to the broadness of his shoulders. Instinctively she knelt down and reached out to gently touch his face. The mask buzzed to the touch, as if it was full of electricity. She could feel the prominence of his cheekbones and began imagining what he might look like. The arrival of her extraction vehicle shook the images from her mind. She picked him up and threw him over her shoulder, making her way to the car.

“Talk about role reversal,” Guavin snorted a laugh as he watched Saanvi lay the hulking figure down in the back seat. “Where are we dropping him?”

“My place. I’ll take it from there.”

#Spotify #miguel o’hara x oc #miguel o’hara #fanfic #fanfiction #oc x canon #oc x Miguel o’hara #spider man 2099 #Spider-Man

[viktheviking1]

(Referring to MDD or Major Depressive Disorder being a part of the ADA or Americans with Disabilities Act.)

Please Reblog! I want to get as large a sample size as possible!

#mental illness #mental health #actually mentally ill #positive mental attitude #mental disability #disability #america #merica #murica #mentally fucked #depressing shit #depression #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing stuff #physical disability #physically disabled #physical therapy #therapy #therapist #psychology #polls #psychiatry #psychologie #personal philosophy #philosophy #questions #questioning #ideology #identity crisis #legal advice

[buntsuki]

Hello! My name is Autumn, I go by Bun, and this is Groot! He’s my emotional support dog, he’s been by my side since he was old enough to come home! He is truly my other half, and dog soulmate. He is incredibly intelligent, with a deep and understanding soul. He’s the most unique and special creature I have ever had to pleasure of being around.

I’m a 24 year old, disabled/chronically ill woman. When Groot was younger he would lay along me in bed every night, and most of the day. Especially during my extreme endometriosis symptoms, and the hip injection hormone treatment I was finally able to have after years.

Groot started out as our family dog, he is a member of the family. A family friend rescued a dog on the side of the road while on a cross country road trip! When she found out the shelters would just put her down, she kept the dog…and surprise the dog, Missy, was pregnant! My aunt helped with the birthing of the puppies…and that’s how he came into our lives!

My parents went to visit the puppies since they wanted one. Groot first went up to my dad, and after my dad picked him up Groot started licking his face and trying to eat his beard! After my dad put him down on the floor and told my mom he liked this one…Groot went over to my mom. She was sitting on the floor, and Groot climbed up on her lap, laid on her leg and went to sleep. He chose us! We named him Groot because he was just always in the background doing his own thing, dragging water bowls around as a puppy while the other ones went wild playing!

Once Groot came home, he bonded with me the most, hiding behind me from my siblings, and laying with me for comfort. Our first night with him, we weren’t sure if he even knew what stairs were since he didn’t have them where he was born. Well low and behold that night he goes BOLTING up the stairs! He couldn’t get back down, but he’s always been a powerhouse!

Over the years Groot and I got closer, and he has become my baby. He also completely adores my fiancée, he is also her baby! He is the sweetest, deepest soul I have ever met.

At the end of August he started getting sick..well kinda. His only symptom was swollen Lymph Nodes on his neck. We called the vet, they told us to monitor it and wait a few days, it could just be a virus. So we did, the nodes changed shape and size, but didn’t go away. So we called again, got an appointment, went in, and they suspected an infection, possibly an abscess. He was given antibiotics and told to monitor. The lymph nodes went down, but again not away.

We called back, and they referred us to the specialized hospital. It was a long day, Groot got sedated, biopsies, scans, bloodwork etc. he was out on Prednisone for the time being as well as a precaution. A few days later we got the call. They found cancer cells in all the sampled lymph nodes.

We were of course devastated, but Groot is in group A for best remission odds! He didn’t have sick symptoms when diagnosed, as well as it being Type B cells instead of Type T cells. We consulted the oncologist, went over options etc. and decided on the strongest treatment. Groot is young, otherwise healthy, and has great odds for a long remission!

After his first Chemotherapy dose he went into full remission! He still needs his full treatment course, but this is such a positive start! He is still in remission, and still responding so positively to the chemo! It’s a little adventure for him, he doesn’t even know anything is wrong, as it should be!

When we were informed of his diagnosis, the woman who called told us about her dog. He was diagnosed at age five, with large cell lymphoma, b-cells. He did the strongest treatment and now he is 2 years out from his chemotherapy, and completely cancer free! Since she works there she has easier access and pricing for scans, so she does them every 3 months, full body. Not a single cancer cell! She said he did lose his hair though! With the updated chemotherapy for animals the odds are so much better, they’ve come a long way! The statistics are just so bad because…it’s expensive.

They do not make it easy, it is heart wrenching. I’ve been in a position before where we’ve had to give up an animal since we couldn’t afford the hospital bill and care. I feel for everyone who has gone through this and not been able to afford chemo. I completely understand and it is entirely different not being able to afford it, vs just not wanting to spend the money!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aside from the stress, and emotional ups and downs experiencing this with Groot, I am financially devastated. You cannot insure a pet with a pre-condition, much like how insurance companies don’t like covering humans with pre-existing conditions. No insurance will accept an already diagnosed pet unless the pet is CURED without treatments for 180 days. Then that also falls into what their definition of cured means.

I have been emptying my life savings (saved everything from first my job, then unemployment, and the stimulus checks), I am unable to work due to Covid with my ITP (blood disorder), as well as Endometriosis, fibromyalgia, and suspected degenerative arthritis (my mom has it, it runs in our family, and I have the symptoms of it). I have also been selling my personal belongings, and doing discounted art commissions. I don’t even get to go out often, and whenever I do it’s in a N95 mask with limited crowds!

We have been applying to all the foundations that help with vet bills, but they are OVERWHELMED, have strict requirements, limited donation amounts, and extremely long waitlists. We’ve still been applying, but I’m not relying on them getting back to us…

My mom, who is also disabled, got a $1700 loan to help! It went straight to the vet, my fiancée took from her savings as well. We are both applying for and looking into loans and vet bill credit cards. This is just so hard, he had a nearly $5000 overnight hospital stay (it ended up being due to chemotherapy and steroid reactions, he’s finished the steroids now, and they’re dialing back the chemo type that caused it).

After that hospital bill I am wiped out and terrified. All the money I had earned, fundraised, was given by friends and family, it all ended up going to that hospital bill. Now I still need to pay the rest of his chemo! I need at least another $5,000 which I know is a lot! But this is a life, and this is a once in a lifetime chance where I can BUY MORE TIME with him! He isn’t suffering, no pains, and aside from the hospital stay due to raised liver enzymes he hasn’t had any chemo symptoms either!

I am so incredibly proud of him, and how brave and strong he is!

Any thoughts, well wishes, prayers, shared, donations, purchases, commissions and everything else are so incredibly appreciated! I truly don’t want to ask for money, for help, I wish I could just do this all on my own. We know in hindsight now about insurance, this is a learning experience for sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to give up on Groot! He is here now and thriving and I want to give him the best life that he deserves! Thank you for reading❤️

Commissions are open, all types, can find me on other socials under BunTsuki as well! Any help means the world to me, and I swear when I’m better off I will pay it forward!

#animeartist #artist #gofundme #fundraiser #fundraising #veterinary #vet bills #support #pets #doggo #dog #chemotherapy #grootthedog #we rate dogs #any help is appreciated #thank you #i love him

[threepwoodmarley]

The Sweetest Dream

Merry Christmas, @peacehopeandrats! I’m your Secret Santa! I hope you like your fic and that you will forgive me for taking at least part of your prompt in a way that I’m sure you didn’t intend!

Prompt: Coco, fire, fresh snow, bakery

Summary: Ever since Belle French opened her bakery in Storybrooke, Frank Gold has looked forward to the days she brings free samples to the townsfolk. Her kind heart always includes him in her rounds and he cherishes the moments they spend together, bonding over cookies and cake.

Title from Muppet Christmas Carol

Read on AO3

“Good morning, Mr Gold!”

The tinkle of the bell above his shop door accompanied the lilting voice of the woman who had just stepped through. Frank Gold looked up from his ledger to greet his visitor, noting the covered tray in her hands and the wide smile on her face.

“Miss French, a pleasure as always.” He placed his pen down to give her his full attention. “What gastronomic delights bring you to my shop today?”

“It's Christmas!” She held up the tray as if that explained everything.

“It's November.”

“Exactly, I'm already behind!” She practically bounced over to set her tray down on the counter and lift the lid. “I'm about to start on our seasonal menu and wanted to get your opinion on which flavours you like best.”

This was not an unusual occurrence. Belle French owned and ran the local bakery, Storybrookies, which she'd opened earlier that year, and often went around town handing out samples to drum up business. His shop must have been on her route as she came in most days to give him a taste of her latest creations.

He moved his gaze down towards the counter top and eyed the various confections there. “So this is market research?”

“Exactly! Got to give the public what they want!” She pointed to each cookie in turn as she rattled their names off. “We have mint choc chip, chocolate orange shortbread, and cinnamon and basil.”

Try as he might, Gold couldn't stop his lips curling in distaste at that last one. “Whatever happened to good old-fashioned gingerbread?”

“We'll have that as well, of course, but this is my bakery's first Christmas and I wanted to offer something different, maybe be a bit adventurous. All I will say is don't knock it till you've tried it.”

“Hmm.” Tentatively Gold picked up each cookie, carefully tasting them one at a time as Belle looked on eagerly. He could see how important this was to her, so he closed his eyes and opened his mind to better savour the different flavours, wanting to give each a fair chance.

“Well?” Her patience had apparently run out as she prompted him for his opinion, her voice strangely breathless. He opened his eyes to find her own fixated on his face, her pupils blown wide with her eagerness for his answer.

He carefully placed down the remains of the final cookie that was still in his hand. “I'm afraid you haven't convinced me that cinnamon and basil is in any way a reasonable flavour combination. However I am fond of the first two, the shortbread in particular."

Belle beamed. “I hoped you'd like that one. I know that shortbread is Scottish and chocolate orange is more of a popular flavour over there so combining them seemed like a good idea...” she trailed off with a blush that Gold didn't understand.

“It was,” he agreed. “But as you say, it's a flavour that's more popular over there than here. How has it gone down with the other people you've asked?”

“Oh. Um, you're actually the first person I've shown these to.” Belle looked down and began fiddling with the tray, picking up the half-eaten cookie that he'd left. “I value your opinion, you see. And I know you'll give me honest feedback.”

Gold felt a strange warmth in his chest at her words. “Well, I'm glad you feel you can rely on me. However, as I'm sure you're aware, a sample size should be as large as possible to most accurately reflect public opinion.”

“Of course.” She put the cookie down again before replacing the lid on the tray and lifting it into her arms. “That's why I'm on my way now to canvass the town. Who knows, maybe cinnamon and basil will reign supreme.”

“Knowing some of the inhabitants of this town as I do, that wouldn't surprise me.”

Belle laughed as she carried the tray to the door, walking backwards until the last possible moment and throwing a parting glance over her shoulder as she left. “See you around, Mr Gold.”

~*~

“Good morning, Mr Gold!”

“Miss French,” Gold felt himself smiling as the bell chimed and the familiar voice met his ears. It had been a few days since she had graced his shop and he found himself missing her presence.

“I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while, but the bakery has been so busy. We started selling the chocolate orange shortbread last week and it's been a huge hit.”

“I'm glad to hear it.”

“And to thank you for your invaluable input I thought I'd bring over some of my festive hot cocoa.” She reached into her bag to produce a thermos. “It's spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg and star anise.”

He watched as she brought out two mugs, pouring an equal share into each before handing him one.

“Thank you.” He gave the concoction a cautious sip, relishing in the initial taste before taking another longer one. The perfectly spiced chocolate slipped over his tongue like velvet and he had to use all his willpower to prevent a rather unseemly moan from escaping his lips. He took a few seconds to compose himself before speaking. “Another triumph, I would say. I imagine this must be one of your best sellers too.”

Belle took a sip from her own mug before shaking her head. “I don't sell this at the bakery. It's my own personal recipe.”

“Oh.” Gold looked into his mug and felt his heart flutter at the thought she would have made something personal especially for him. He ruthlessly tamped that idea down before he could get any fanciful notions in his head. She was thanking him for his help, that was all. She probably made the same thing for everyone else in town whose opinion she had sought out.

“Well I thank you for sharing it with me. Do you mind if I ask how you came up with the recipe?”

“It was my mother's.” Her voice took on a melancholy twinge and he instantly regretted the question. “We used to make it together every Christmas. It was our holiday tradition, no matter how hot the weather was. Dad thought we were mad having cocoa in summer but I loved it.”

Her eyes had taken on a faraway look as she cradled her mug carefully and he thought he knew the answer to his next question but felt compelled to ask anyway. “Is your mother...?” he trailed off, unsure how to finish.

“She died.” Belle brought her eyes back to him and smiled sadly. “A few years ago now. I still make the same recipe every Christmas though. It's a lot more seasonally appropriate now I've moved here, but I must admit that sometimes I miss the incongruity of sitting in the bright sunshine with my hot cocoa. That probably sounds silly, I know.”

“Not at all. I used to...” he trailed off, unsure whether he wanted to go where he'd been about to. His fingers twitched and he put his mug down before he dropped it.

“You used to?” She looked at him with such an open and honest expression he felt almost helpless in the face of it. Something about her compelled him to speak about things that he'd kept locked up inside of himself for years.

“I used to make paper snowflakes with my son. My ex-wife hated them, said that they looked cheap and tacky, but we had fun. It was the time spent together that was special.”

“You have a son!” Belle's face brightened, then quickly fell as something seemed to occur to her. “Is he...?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” he was quick to reassure her. “He's alive. He lives in New York with his wife and a son of his own now. But we did have a falling out a few years ago. It was a bad one and all my fault, of course. I didn't hear from him in so long I feared the worst so many times.”

“I'm sorry.” She placed her mug down and reached out to cover his hand with hers where it rested on the counter. His breath caught at her touch and he kept perfectly still for fear of losing it. “But it sounds like you've heard from him since?”

“Yes. He got in contact with me not long after Henry was born. Said he finally understood how terrifying it was to be a father. We had a long talk, I apologised and he forgave me. I didn't deserve it, but then he's always been a better person than me in every way.”

“I think the kind of person he is is a reflection of the man who raised him.” She squeezed his hand gently. “Is he coming for the holidays?”

“No.” He sighed. “He said they want a quiet Christmas at home this year. I don't think he's ready to completely trust me yet and I can understand that. I just wish we hadn't lost all those years we could have spent together due to my stupidity.”

“I think you need to stop beating yourself up about it. The past is the past and all you can do now is move forward. Your son is alive, he's forgiven you and you'll have many Christmasses in the future to spend together, I'm sure.” She leaned towards him, her eyes locked on his while he stared at her dumbly. Apparently he was silent too long because she blushed and pulled away from him, lifting her hand from his. “Sorry, I'm probably overstepping here. Please tell me to shut up and go away.”

“Never,” he breathed, before clearing his throat. “No, I mean, you're right. As usual.”

He reached for his cocoa once again and brought the mug to his lips, grateful for both the shield it provided and the warmth it brought back after the loss of her touch.

They finished their drinks in a companionable silence, as though any further words would break the spell that had fallen over them. Sooner than Gold would have liked, Belle began packing their empty mugs into her bag and made to leave.

Walking to the door, she turned and looked as though she wanted to say something else but thought better of it, deciding to go with her usual parting instead.

“See you around, Mr Gold.”

~*~

“Good morning, Mr Gold!” Belle's cheery voice betrayed none of the heaviness of their previous conversation and Gold was glad for it. He had been half afraid she would be put off visiting him again after the revelations of the other day.

“Good morning, Miss French.” Gold looked up and felt his eyes widen. “What on earth do you have on your head?”

“They're reindeer antlers!” She shook her head to make the attached bell jingle, and he was momentarily mesmerised by the way her curls bounced around her shoulders. “Do you like them? I could get you a pair if you like.”

He shuddered. “That's very thoughtful but I think I'll pass, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I think you'd look very dashing.”

“I highly doubt that. They look far better on you than they ever would on me.”

Belle's radiant smile nearly blinded him and it took him a second to realise she had moved forward and was now holding a paper bag out to him. “Here.”

“What's this?” He took it from her outstretched hand.

“It's a 'good old-fashioned gingerbread man.'”

He peeked into the paper bag and raised an eyebrow. “Since when do gingerbread men wear suits?”

“That's what makes him so old-fashioned.” Belle laughed, tilting her head and leaning forward on the counter almost conspiratorially. She looked out the window and sighed wistfully before turning back to him. “Do you think it's going to snow soon?”

“Probably,” he grumbled. “We've been lucky so far but I can feel a chill in the air. At least we're spared the worst of it being this close to the sea.”

She lightly slapped his arm and he looked at her hand in surprise as she admonished him. “Oh humbug Mr Gold, don't tell me you're a snow-hater.”

“Live in Maine long enough and you will be too,” he responded drily.

“Well, I love it. We never had snow when I was growing up in Melbourne. Then I moved here and I can still remember the first morning I woke up to a snowy day. It was like the world was covered in a pure white blanket, glittering in the sun. I thought it was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen.”

“And did you still think that when you had to shovel three feet of the stuff off your driveway? Or when it felt like your fingers were going to fall off from frostbite? Or when you slipped on hidden ice and nearly broke your neck?”

She eyed him suspiciously. “How do you know about that?”

“Lucky guess,” he deadpanned.

“Well, it was just the one time and I learned my lesson.” She held up a finger accusingly. “High heeled ankle boots may look cute but are not practical for icy weather.”

With deliberate slowness Gold peered over the counter. He was not at all surprised to see a pair of red heels at the end of her shapely legs.

Before his brain could go in a dangerous direction he forced his eyes back up to hers and raised his brow in silence.

She blushed. “Hey, it's not icy yet. I have a pair of snow boots at the bakery just in case though.”

“As long as you're prepared.”

“I am.” She gave him a wide smile which dimmed slightly as she caught sight of the clock behind him. “Oh, shoot. I have to head off now. I told Ariel I'd be there by ten, so this has to be a flying visit.”

Gold felt heart sink in response, but kept his face neutral to hide his disappointment. “In that case don't let me keep you. And thank you once again for the gingerbread man.”

“You're very welcome and I hope you enjoy it.” She walked to the door and turned back to him with a twinkle in her eye. “Maybe I'll bring you a matching gingerbread lady tomorrow. See you around, Mr Gold!”

~*~

The implied promise in Miss French's words meant that Gold started the next day in an uncharacteristically good mood, hopeful that he wouldn't have to wait too long before another visit from his favourite baker.

That good mood soon faded upon his arrival into town and the sight that greeted him there. The entrance to one of the roads was blocked off and he was just about able to catch a glimpse of flashing lights through the crowd of people gathered by the roadside. Spying David Nolan among their number, he quickly parked his car and grabbed his cane, walking over to the group as quickly as he could.

“Mr Nolan.” He waited for the other man to turn and acknowledge his presence. “What's going on?”

David looked surprised. “You haven't heard? No, I suppose you wouldn't have since the bakery isn't one of your buildings.”

“The bakery?” Gold's stomach twisted as his eyes moved from scanning the scene to focus all his attention on the man next to him. “What about the bakery?”

“There was a fire. Last night. Looks like the whole place has been completely destroyed.”

Gold felt as though a cold vice had gripped his heart. He could barely breathe except to stutter out a single word. “Belle?”

“Oh, don't worry. Belle's fine.” David waved his hand, apparently unaware of the magnitude of his words. “I mean she's devastated, obviously, but no one was inside the building at the time.”

David's gaze moved from Gold's face to somewhere over his shoulder, leading Gold to turn his head to follow his line of sight. Belle stood near the edge of the crowd, her arms wrapped around herself as though for protection against the world.

Barely aware that David was still speaking to him, Gold turned the rest of his body and set out in her direction. One of her friends, the grumpy one, was standing nearby and appeared to be attempting to provide support but Gold paid him no mind as he approached Belle.

“Miss French.” The greeting felt woefully inadequate, but it was all he could think of in the moment.

“Oh, Mr Gold, hi.” Belle turned to him, lifting a hand to wipe away the tears that were still clearly visible on her face. “I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to have any gingerbread for you today.”

He watched as the corners of her mouth turned up in a weak approximation of a smile before her entire face crumbled again.

“Don't worry about it.” Gold flinched, mentally kicking himself for such an inane response. He scrambled for something better to say before settling on what he should have started with in the first place. “Are you all right?”

“No,” she huffed quietly before visibly steeling herself and meeting his eyes, “but I will be. Nobody was hurt, which is the main thing. It's just... hard. To see everything I've worked for, everything I've put my heart and soul into, be destroyed so completely.”

“I'm sorry.” His fingers itched to comfort her but he wasn't sure he'd be welcome, so instead he just continued to stand ineffectually at her side, wishing he had something better to say. “You have insurance, I assume?”

“Of course.” She nodded. “But it's going to take weeks to sort it all out and then even longer to rebuild. There's no way I'm going to have a bakery in time for Christmas.”

“Perhaps you could use one of the empty properties in town as a temporary base. I happen to know there are a few available.”

“That's very kind of you, Mr Gold, but until the insurance pays out I'm not going to be able to afford to rent anywhere, let alone buy the equipment I'm going to need.”

“I could pay for anything you...”

“No.” Her face was resolute as she cut him off. “I mean, I appreciate the offer, I really do. It's just that I don't want...”

“It's all right, Miss French. I completely understand.” It was his turn to cut her off and he tried not to let the sting of rejection hurt too much. “Perhaps a fundraiser then.”

“What, like charity?”

“I prefer to think of it as community. The bakery is such a beloved part of this town, I'm sure the townsfolk would be more than happy to help you get back on your feet. It would be in everyone's best interest to have you back in business as soon as possible.”

“Really? My bakery is beloved?” Belle had the first real smile he'd seen on her face all day.

“Of course. You've said yourself how busy you've been.”

“True, I guess. But I'm not sure, I wouldn't feel right taking people's money when I'll be getting the insurance payout eventually.”

“As you said, that could take weeks. Would you really deprive Storybrooke of your baked delights for all that time?” He could see she was still unsure, so went for an angle that he knew would appeal to her. “And when you do receive the insurance money you could take whatever amount the town raised for you and donate it to another worthwhile cause. Pay it forward, as they say. I know the library is always struggling with their budget and would be very appreciative of funds to purchase new books.”

That caught her attention, just as he'd suspected it would, so he continued, “and if you're worried about the appearance of impropriety you can always ask the town council to organise it. Keep everything above board.”

“Thank you for the suggestion, Mr Gold,” she said, and he was pleased to see a thoughtful expression on her face. “I'll definitely think about it.”

Gold nodded his farewells and took his leave. He felt confident that Belle would be all right in the company of her friends. The grumpy one was still hovering protectively, and he'd seen the Lucas girl pushing her way through the crowd heading in their direction.

He made his way straight to his shop but didn't open for business right away, opting to retreat to the back room while he made some calls. He had arrangements to make.

~*~

A few days later Gold stood at the side of the road, watching as Belle and her friends set up her new premises.

He hadn't talked to her in a while, but she looked happy and he was glad for that. He was so focused on watching her that he didn't notice David Nolan approaching him until it was too late.

“Hey, Gold”

“Mr Nolan.” Gold inclined his head and made to move away, but David refused to let him go.

“You know, this was a good thing you did.”

Gold blinked. “I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Making this place available for Belle. Marco told me that it was an empty shell last week, yet somehow it's been brought up to code and ready to rent in just a few days. I can't imagine how much that would have cost you.”

“I don't know how it goes in your line of work, Mr Nolan, but in the landlord business it's always better to have an income than to not. Investing money into a property in order to rent it out is what I do.”

“Uh huh.” The man had a smug look on his face that Gold didn't like one bit. “And, where is this rental income coming from exactly? The money the town raised with the fundraiser?”

“How should I know?” Gold flicked his hand dismissively. “All that matters to me is being paid the money I'm owed. The source of the funds is not my concern.”

“Really? You don't care at all? Because, you know, there's a funny thing about that fundraiser.” David looked around and lowered his voice conspiratorially, “Mary Margaret told me that while a lot of people were willing to donate, they weren't able to give all that much. Certainly nowhere near the amount necessary. Apparently almost all of the money raised came from one, extremely generous, anonymous donor.”

“What exactly is your point?” Gold snarled, baring his teeth.

“Why don't you just tell her that you like her?”

“Excuse me?”

“Belle. Tell her that you like her.”

“You're being ridiculous.” Gold tried again to move away, but David refused to let up.

“Am I? Because I've known you for years and in all that time I've never seen you do anything without some ulterior motive.”

Gold's mouth twisted. He knew what people thought of him, of course, but to have it laid out so baldly, and from someone he almost considered a friend, still stung. “I see. And you think if I tell Miss French that I donated the money to help her bakery then she will feel so grateful she'll have sex with me.”

“What? No!” David seemed flustered. “Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that this is the first time I've seen you do something nice for someone just because you wanted to help them. She must be pretty special.”

“Yes, well. It doesn't matter.” Gold felt his fingers twitch remembering their previous conversation. “Miss French made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me.”

“Are you sure about that?” David looked over his shoulder in confusion. “Because she talks about you a lot. And it sure doesn't seem like she wants nothing to do with you.”

“Perhaps you don't know her as well as you think you do. Good day, Mr Nolan.” Gold finally managed to make his escape, barely resisting the urge to look back and attempt to catch another glimpse of Belle as he did so.

~*~

One of the advantages of a reputation such as his was that people didn't generally seek him out if they didn't have to, which meant that his evenings at home usually went undisturbed.

That's why the knock on his door, coming not long after his return, was such a surprise to him.

The sight of the very woman who had occupied his thoughts most of the day stood on his front porch was yet another surprise.

“Good evening, Mr Gold,” she greeted him with a soft smile on her face.

“Miss French.” Gold stared at her dumbly. “What are you doing here?”

Her smile faltered at his rather unwelcoming response, but she pressed on. “I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” He stood back to allow her entry before closing the door behind her. “May I take your coat?”

She seemed relieved at this indication that he wasn't going to kick her out immediately and smiled again, placing her bag down as she removed her overcoat, passing it into his outstretched hand for him to hang up.

When he turned back around he saw her reaching into her bag and pulling out a small box, which she handed to him.

“Here. I, um, I brought some cookies. The first batch made in my new bakery. I wanted to say thank you. For everything”

“It's no matter.” He shrugged, trying to downplay his involvement, as he led her into the kitchen, placing the cookies down on the counter. “The place was sitting empty. This way we both get something out of it.”

“Right.” She bit her lip before taking a deep breath. “See, the thing is... David told me. That you donated the money too.”

Gold made a mental note to have words with Mr Nolan about the consequences of gossip. “He shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I know you didn't want me involved and I hope you're not too upset...”

He was cut off by the sudden pressure of her small body crashing into his. Her arms wound around his back and he could feel her breath on his neck. Gold felt his heart stutter in his chest at the contact and he almost missed the words she whispered into his skin.

“I'm not upset.” The quaver in her voice gave him pause, and he pulled back slightly. Belle mirrored his actions, but instead of letting him go she tilted her head, bringing her lips close to his. Ice ran through his veins as he understood her intention and he pushed her away more roughly than he meant to, taking a step back and planting his cane in front of his feet like a shield.

“Miss French, please. I don't know what Nolan told you, but you don't owe me anything. And even if you did I am most certainly not the kind of monster who would expect...that.” The fact that she thought him capable of such things hurt more than he could express and he hoped she would leave soon so he could drown his sorrows in scotch.

“You're not a monster at all,” she cried, moving forward to close the distance between them again and placing her hands over his on his cane. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have done that. And I shouldn't have refused your kind offer the way I did. I hope you know it was never because I was afraid you would hold it over me. I know you wouldn't. I just didn't want you to think I was only interested in you for your money.”

“You... what?” It was an inarticulate response, but his mind had gone blank and he couldn't quite comprehend the meaning of her words.

“Because it was never about that and I wouldn't want you to think it was. I should have known better, I see that now, but I was so afraid of ruining what we have. I'd just lost my bakery and I couldn't bear to lose you too.”

“You're... interested in me?” He felt like his world had been turned upside down in just a few seconds and he never wanted it to right itself. Could she really be saying what he thought she was?

“Of course,” she laughed. “Why do you think I was always at your shop bringing you baked goods?”

“I just thought you were giving out free samples to everyone.”

“Mr Gold, if I gave out as many samples to everyone else as I gave to you I'd have gone out of business months ago.”

“But... why?”

“Because I like you. I like spending time with you. I like talking to you. And I thought...” Here her expression flickered. “I thought maybe you felt the same.”

“I do,” he was quick to reassure her. The last thing he wanted was yet another misunderstanding between them. “Your visits are the highlight of my days. I just never imagined it was possible that you could reciprocate my feelings.”

“Well I do.” She smiled shyly. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to reach across that counter and kiss you. Speaking of which… may I now?”

“By all means,” he breathed.

This time when she moved closer to him he didn't resist, instead bringing his hand up to stroke the side of her face, sliding it around to cup the back of her head as their lips met.

Gold felt tempted to pinch himself, half-convinced that he was having the most wonderful dream. Belle's lips were soft and sweet, moving gently against his as he responded in kind. The kiss was undemanding and delicate, but he could feel the potential for more passionate ones in the future bubbling under the surface.

When they pulled apart he rested his forehead against hers, delighting in sharing her breath as they smiled at each other.

“Would you...” he broke the silence. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Miss French?”

“I would love to.” Her smile widened even further. “And I think it's about time you call me Belle.”

“Belle.” He spoke her name like a caress. “You can call me Frank.”

She pulled back a little and raised an eyebrow. “Your name is Frank Gold?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “And yes, I was called 'Incense and Myrrh' every Christmas throughout all my school years.”

She giggled slightly, “I'm sorry. But that's adorable.”

“I'm glad you think so.”

“If it makes you feel any better, the kids at my school called me Jingle Belle.”

“Actually, it does.” He blinked, wondering what to say next when movement in the darkness outside caught his eye. “Huh.”

“What?” She turned and he could see the moment she noticed what he had as she pulled away in excitement. “Oh wow, it's snowing!”

“Apparently so.” They moved closer to the window to better see the thick white flakes. “And it looks like there's going to be a lot of it.”

“It's so beautiful,” she sighed, leaning into his side. For once he didn't feel like disagreeing. “But I should probably mention that I didn't bring any snow boots with me.”

She looked up at him with a mischievous grin that he returned, before glancing down at her heels. “I suppose you'll just have to stay here then. Those shoes are definitely not appropriate for this weather.”

“I suppose so.” He could hear the smile in her voice. “I did bring the ingredients for my festive cocoa though. I thought we could make it together.”

His breath caught as he comprehended the magnitude of what she was offering. “I'd like that.”

~*~

Christmas Eve, Five Years Later

“Good morning, Mr Gold!” Belle's cheerful voice rang out through his shop as she stepped through the door. Gold smiled at the familiar sound as he raised his head from his ledger to greet her in return.

“Good morning, Mrs Gold.” He put his pen down as she skipped over to give him a quick kiss. “What brings you here?”

“I wanted to remind you that we both need to get home by four at the latest if we're going to have the festive cocoa ready by the time Bae and Emma arrive. You know as soon as they get here Henry's going to be having you make paper snowflakes with him all evening.”

“I remember.” Warmth spread through him as he thought about having all his family together for Christmas again this year. “You didn't have to leave the bakery to come and tell me that, I'm sure this must be a busy morning for you.”

“It is,” Belle admitted, “but Ariel and Astrid have it under control. And... I wanted to give you this.”

He took the paper bag she held out to him and reached inside, pulling out two gingerbread figures. One was clearly a man, decorated with a suit that matched the one he was currently wearing. The other was a woman wearing a dress the same colour as Belle's, but with a far more prominent waistline than his wife had.

He looked up at her, watching the way she bit her lip as the meaning of the gift dawned on him. “Are you...?”

“I am,” she confirmed, placing a gentle hand over her stomach. “It's still early days so I don't want to announce it yet, but I wanted you to know. Of course this does mean we'll have to come up with a reason why I'm not drinking any of the eggnog tonight.”

Gold laughed in delight, hurrying around the side of the counter as quickly as he could to throw his arms around his wife. Just when he'd thought his life was as happy as it could possibly be, she went and proved him wrong. She'd always been good at that.

Belle returned his hug, her own arms tight around his back, before pulling away and looking into his eyes, tears in her own. “Merry Christmas, Frank,” she whispered, her face moving towards his.

“Merry Christmas, Belle,” he replied, closing the distance between them and capturing her lips with his own.

#rumbelle secret santa #peacehopeandrats #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #ouat #my fic

[arlechinav-blog]

Starting Materials for Mediterranean Trancework

If you are wondering what you will need to get started on this as a group, I have put together a list of materials. This is basically what I use when I am teaching others how to do this and when I host trance rituals.

I keep a fully stocked trance kit with extras of all the below items so that those who need them can have something to use until they can get their own. If you intend to lead your own group, be prepared to provide at least a few things for the effort.

Frame Drums: 14”-16” frame drums with synthetic heads are best for beginners. Recommending Remo’s Thinline, Renaissance, Fiberskyn, or Tar series’. Synthetic heads help students build up skills and needed hand calluses at the same time. Goat or fish skin drum heads will tear up your skin and go flat without proper care very easily. Each person involved should know how to play a drum and learn the beats your group uses. Avoid buffalo drums and bodhrans, they are too heavy for Mediterranean style drumming. 

Whiteboard and Easel: A wooden repurposed child’s art easel will work perfectly fine. Use it to balance a whiteboard where you can put up weekly notes. Large clips or magnets can be used to hold up a poster-board too, depending on what kind of easel you get. These are great for keeping up your trance chant lyric notes. Only use a whiteboard for notes that you will need once. 

Poster Boards: Record trance chants and rhythms that you use with your group onto large poster boards so that everyone can read them during practice sessions. Use a poster-board for notes that you will need multiple times to spare yourself from writing it again and again every time you need it. 

Trance Rhythms: I start folks out with 10 trance rhythms that can be used for pretty much everything. They work for just about any Mediterranean song you can find. I will have to film some samples for this so that you can hear them.

Trance Chants: To get through a basic trance ritual, you will need roughly 4-5 trance chants. Start your group with their first 5 and work on getting them down together. Some groups will prefer to work with songs in English, some will prefer songs in other languages, and some will prefer a mix of both. Feel out your group before you decide on your chants. 

Online Database of Communication: Start up a group where you can share resources, communicate about upcoming trance dates, and load up videos privately. Keep it secure. 

Incense: Incense is a trance trigger so pick one scent and stick to it every time you do practice or ritual. Keeping the same scent for all things trance will help participants go under. Use a soft floral scent like jasmine. Later, you can work in different scent triggers for different rituals. 

Rug: You can use rubber gym mats that link and/or an actual rug. Rugs will give rug burns so plan accordingly. Whatever you use has to be easily perceived by touch rather than sight--so tape on the floor will not work. This well defined border will be where the entranced are free to move. They will confine themselves to it so make sure it is the right size for the job you want it to do. 

White Flat Sheets: You will need at least 2 to start and +1 for each additional person who will trance. You can have your participants bring their own or you can pick some up from a second-hand store for fairly cheap. Everybody should have their own if possible.  

Colored Scarves: All things are color coded in trance for hypnotic suggestion and we use colored scarves to communicate with each other during trance rituals. People who wear a red scarf are monitors who look after trance dancers, people who wear white scarves are trance dancers who are there to trance, people who wear light blue scarves are musicians, and people who wear dark blue scarves are ready and capable of leading a trance session. You can have people bring their own or supply the group yourself. 

Your “Whites”: Each person will need an all white outfit to wear during trance rituals. For class, they can wear whatever they like. White is a spiritually neutral color used by all Mediterranean trance cults. Participants should supply their own trance clothes but you can keep a small supply of extra items to help supplement. 

Altar Kit: A trance altar needs to have a water jug and rinsing bowl with scented water for participants to wash their hands and face at (Cortas brand rose or orange blossom water are easy to find at Mediterranean groceries). It will need incense for participants to smudge themselves, their clothes, their hair and their instruments with. It will need a plate for monetary donations (it should never be empty). It is lucky to put an odd number on the altar ($1, $3, $5, $7 or $9). It will also need essential oils for use on skin that participants can rub on themselves (floral, fruit, or herbal scents preferred). Scent is very important to trance so the key is to be consistent and use it liberally so the scent can work as a non-visual trigger.

Wake-up Kit: A pitcher or fancy spritz bottle of cool water to spray or sprinkle on the arms and forehead of the entranced when they are done trancing. A blended oil of strong purgative scents that is dabbed on the fingers of the guide or monitor and wiped on the nose of the entranced when they are done trancing. I prefer a blend of rosemary, cedar and clove oil--that’ll wake you up! Make sure that no one in the space has an allergy to a product you use. 

Food: Always keep at least a loaf of fresh bread and some hummus for dipping on hand for post-trance snacks. Eating food helps those who have been trancing to come down and sober up. Water to drink is also helpful afterward. Be aware of dietary restrictions before you bring in foods that members of your group cannot eat.

Symbols: Think very carefully about the symbols you use and when you use them. Protect their meanings by bringing them out only when they are relevant. Continually reinforce their meanings in all that you do. This is a hypnotic suggestion and your symbols will become more and more important the more trancing you do. 

[penig]

Though A Christmas Carol is one of my all-time favorite books, there’s no denying that the scene of Belle’s happy post-Scrooge domestic life is uncomfortable for me in a couple of ways; but I can deal, because I grew up with that and I believe I understand those ways.

In modern tumblr parlance, this scene is highly heteronormative, and the narrator’s digression about Belle’s daughter is, um, kinda creepy. If you’re put off by those things, I don’t blame you.

But the first thing you need to understand here is, that a lot of this scene is about all the great sex Scrooge isn’t having. That man is a virgin, too mean to get married and too cheap to pay for it. And Dickens, who loved sex and wasn’t allowed to speak of it directly, wants to be sure we understand that. He’s not telling us that a Big Noisy Happy Family is the Height of Happiness for everyone, he’s showing us the result of a healthy married sex life in a financially secure household when birth control isn’t an option.

There’s no ostentatious wealth here, but there’s no pinch of tight budgeting, either. Everyone is well-fed, well-clothed, and bursting with energy. The kids feel safe and loved. They are rambunctious because they are healthy and it’s an exciting occasion, but the only dismay in the scene stems from universal concern for the baby, not from sibling rivalry or bad temper. There’s enough spare money for enough toys to go around. No indications in the room of any recent illness or bereavement. The daughter old enough to sit up with her parents is not faking anything or having to play mother because Belle is incapacitated by producing these children; and the mood does not shift when the children leave the room - no one is fronting for their sake. Belle and her husband love each other enough to make love regularly, a large family has resulted, and they have enough good sense and good fortune that this is not a hardship. This is the best possible outcome, given that opting out of children or voluntarily limiting family size without limiting sexual congress was not a realistic option for most heterosexual couples in this place at this time.

The narrator’s desire to get in there with the kids romping with Belle Jr.  is a pretty good sample of Dickens’s idealized sexualization of young women, which for what it’s worth seems to have been more or less normal in the culture. (Doesn’t mean you or I have to like it or leave it unquestioned.) If she knew about it, there is a chance she would take it as a compliment and that her mother would only track it and put the narrator on notice about where the boundaries are, not summarily throw him out as a modern mother might be inclined to. It’s a very skin-hungry passage, and reflects the fact that female children become off-limits physically when they hit puberty and that this is, in fact, unfortunate, because people need to touch each other. We are too sensitized to the reality that any random guy could be a predator to give much play to the notion that this sort of attention could be innocent, but Dickens would hardly have been so open about it if he didn’t expect his audience to accept it easily.

And I think it’s important that this passage is entirely the narrator speaking. Scrooge is undoubtedly just as skin hungry as the passage implies, but the role he can’t help envying is the father’s, the trusted absolutely-not-sexual figure who can be leaned against confidingly, hugged and kissed with no question of arousal, and relied upon unquestioningly for protection and support - which he will unquestionably give. Is it an idealized image of fatherhood? Sure, a bit. But it’s not an unachievable or unreasonable one.

When Scrooge froze Belle out, he froze out not only his chance of being loved romantically, domestically, and parentaly - but of loving in those ways, too. No one relies on him for anything; no one trusts him with their safety or their smiles, in any respect, because he has been deliberately avoiding putting himself into a position in which anyone could. He doesn’t love anyone, and of the people he remembers loving, Fan is dead and Belle pities him. He’s been telling himself he doesn’t care about any of that, and he’s just come face to face with the enormity of the lie he’s been repeating all this time.

And his skin? Is starved half to death.

#a dickens december #dickens december #literature #non-sims

[possumsarenice]

I figured since the Sun and Moon Show is so separate from both FNAF and the DCAMV, I’d do one of those “for people who haven’t seen (x) guess which fact is made up” but I’m not lying about the fake fact thing and there actually is a made up fact here. Please reblog, I want the sample size for this to be as large as possible. Spoilers for if you ever do decide to dip your toes into insanity

Let me know if you think this is tag clogging, I’ll change the tags

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #SAMS #fnaf #fnaf sb #sundrop #moondrop #daycare attendent

[stormblessed95]

Hi! I’m the anon who asked about the ‘I’m sorry for my fault’ thing, thank you so much for your explanation! I’m hoping you don’t mind me asking another question, although this one is probably a bit more complicated. I’m still making my way through run bts and I’m noticing a lot of jokes (seem to come mostly from Jin but I might just not have a large enough sample size) about JM’s weight, and thinking about what I’ve recently learned about JM’s extreme dieting and overall body issues it’s left a very sour taste in my mouth. As an example, the run ep where they have to do that ‘I see’ game where they confess things to each other (I think ep 15 or so? I’ve been binging them sorry lol) and Jin tells jimin he looks like a pig, and then continues with the joke multiple times even after JM seems visibly upset to the point where Jin even apologizes after the game ends. But then he comes back again with another comment like that just a few mins later! Idk I know it’s meant to be taken as a joke but I just can’t understand why this seems to be a thing (that ep is not the only time I’ve noticed it) despite how much they all obviously love and care for each other, and how much the others were all worried during JM’s diets. Is this something you can offer some insight into, being in this fandom a lot longer than I have? Is this something I should expect to continue seeing throughout run? I’m not sure I want to see that, to be honest…. I appreciate anything you can tell me, thanks ❤️

Hi anon! I talked a bit about the issues of diet culture in this post here, in case you didn't see that the other day.

It's a very fair thing to have left a sour taste in your mouth. And it's not just Jin, it's all of them, even Jimin. Horrible jokes made at times even though it's also very clear they geniunely are worried AF for each other when someone takes it too far too. With the run episode you mentioned, I'm not a huge fan of the game they played. They played it before in other shows and it wasn't one I enjoyed then either. But the purpose of the game is to try and offend each other basically. And the longer the game goes, the worse it gets as each tries to win. Because you are wanting to make the other person react. So Jin hit below the belt there and won. And also pretty clearly wants to make sure Jimin is actually okay. It's not a game I'm a fan of. Lol

And I do think that's the worst of it with those jokes though honestly. Unless I don't remember, which is very possible. I could've blocked other jokes/comments out as I don't enjoy them. But mostly it's just lowkey comments and jokes about diets and shitty remarks to each other about calories at times too, but not in a mean way. Just in a... I'm worried about how entrenched they are in diet culture because of the industry they live in and how that affects their mental and physical health.

But there is also more often content of them making sure their other members eat. That they rest. That they feel loved and worthwhile. That they aren't too hard on themselves. That their jokes are never done in a mean spirited way and I do think that if a boundary was drawn, the members would've respected it and not made the jokes anymore. So I trust in their friendship there too. Encouring them to eat more sometimes and sharing food and feeding each other. And bringing them meals to eat together is one hadn't eaten In a while. But I fully understand that those jokes just don't hit well when they are made. So I get it.

I know that's probably not super helpful. Lol but it's what I've got. You are also free to DM me if you want to talk specifics more too. Thanks for the ask. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful and the reply took awhile.

[simonalkenmayer]

Causal relationships are as complicated as a million piece puzzle. Reality is a cesspool of feedback relationships. Everything in there is affecting every other thing to varying degrees. Such that an entire movement doesn’t change one thing, and the way one man wakes up in the morning can affect the planet.

Most of my companies build predictive models. Let me see if I can make this easy for everyone to grasp. Let’s use politics, since it’s election season. Let’s say you want to predict how people will vote. Let’s say you have a general idea of questions to ask. You need to get a small group or “sample” that you can quickly change. You ask them the questions you’ve prepared. Like “will you vote for Mr Dog, democrat” and all the democrats in your sample say “we love dogs. We will vote for Mr. Dog” all the republicans admit to murdering dogs, and all the independents talk about times they wished they could murder their neighbors dog but wouldn’t do it. (That was a politics joke). In any case, from that sample you can get a general idea of how to refine your questions and how to predict what a larger, more diverse group will say. You get a larger sample and run the questions again with modifications for refinement. Say you began with 100 people who generally mimicked the political breakdown of the country (60 Dems, 40 of whom are white, half female etc). You built your predictive model on those 100 responses. So now you create your larger sample and run the model experiment. You refine again, now based on 1000 responses. So forth. As the sample size increases, the number of potential correlations occur. In our above model, let’s say when you get to a sample size of 10k you begin to see that women vote overwhelmingly liberal. This raises questions. You can decide to further explore that relationship through further refinement, or leave it. But there’s just no way to tell fully how much any one thing, say something like a regional specific weather disaster, will change the model. And for every extraneous bit of data you add, the more complicated your predictions will be—white women given the choice between a black female candidate and a white male candidate will choose the male. Why? Etc.

We build artificial intelligences to analyze these huge data sets, and we spit out new questions to provide detail. We do it well.

When people ask me for predictions about reality, I have to weigh as many of these tiny things as I can, I have to account for emotions of people, trends, investments and finances, and on and on. But why should I do this when I can just explain it to you.

Point is, predictions are fun, but it’s an art and a science, and you’re never completely right. Never.

Well that’s not true. Once, I predicted the entire 1-4 lineup of the Kentucky Derby. I won $500 from the pool, but that’s not that spectacular. I’ve won more money play Faro or Poker or even Primero. Of course, I have to adjust for inflation.

In any case…point is, predicting is difficult, especially human behavior. NO ONE knows what’s going to happen. No one. We can only ever say, based on x y z I think abc. And leave it there.

So…if you don’t know what to expect…fair. If you are always wrong? You’re missing a big something or possibly a large group of tiny things. Who knows. Good luck debugging that code.

If you’re always right, you have made a very good tiny model. Time to refine it. Try it out in a bigger pond and see what happens. Or maybe you’re psychic. Or maybe you only think you’re right. Who can say. Good luck dealing with the congratulations

Let’s say you’re right about 2/3 the time. Good job. You’re an analyst who reads.

What I’m trying to say is that predictive modeling takes a lot of skill in many disciplines to do well. It’s not simple. It can be fun. It’s never perfect, but we aren’t omniscient and shit happens, as the proverb goes.

If you want to be a fortune teller, it’s a difficult business.

[livingdeadmlm]

Have you ever seen a video on YouTube or any other resource where a person living in their own or a foreign country talks about prices, clothes, cosmetics, and food? Walks around the stores with a camera and tells what products are there, what they take and the total amount. Can we get a headcanon where the reader is also something like a youtuber who talks about food/clothes/etc.? And goes shopping with the pillarmen, they point out and buy what they like, discuss. At home they talk about the taste of food for example (Kars shows and talks about cosmetics)

I love those videos so much bc I love seeing how other countries work and what they have in stores. (one of my favorites things to do is go to convenience stores/general stores and look around, especially if its a new one that I get to now learn the format of [it's the autism]) is this realistic? absolutely not lol but that's the fun of fanfiction that you get to pretend that things are fun and cool lol (as long as it's not weird, looking at you proshippers, weirdos)

due to your job, you had to travel around a lot leading you to stay in different countries for months at a time and a few times spending an entire year there

due to this, you picked up vlogging the stores and best shops you would go to especially if it was a repeat country/city

you had gained a decent-sized following from fellow travelers and even just people who found it entertaining.

you had met the pillar men during many of your travels and they began to stay with you when they found out that your company will see them as dependents and offered to cover their tickets. so it was a win-win.

they got to be with their boyfriend all the time

when they found out about your videos they thought it was very cute watching you film the shops and reviewing the things you got.

your followers began to notice the very obvious large men that were always with you.

they would show up more and more holding this up to the camera or just taking your camera and filming to talk about products the recommended

they each have small segments in the videos where they talk about the things they got or picked out

Kars looks more into cosmetics and reviews them on if they are good and talks about different makeup customs in other countries

Wammu talks more about deals and how to be sure that you are getting plenty of bang for your buck due to possible scams which are often done to foreigners and travelers. He also talks about products to get instead of the more expensive ones

Esidsis talks about the foods and good combinations that can be made with them

your fans were very excited to have more helpful content

when you are showcasing the products and reviewing them the pillarmen can be seen in the background of your hotel/Air BnB.

which became a small joke in your comments

esidsis occasionally prepares the new foods for everyone to sample

when in stores showing off products it was much easier having one of the men hold the product

though sometimes they turn it around on you and have you holding whatever they want to talk about

#jojo headcanons #jojos bizarre adventure #jojos bizarre adventure x male reader #jjba x male reader #jjbaxmalereader #jojo's bizarre adventure #male reader #jojo x male reader #jjba #jojos bizzare adventure x male reader #battle tendency #pillar man x male reader #pillar man #pillar men #kars x male reader #wamuu x male reader #esidisi x male reader #esidise x male reader

[clearwillow]

Darn I was hoping for a ficlet lol. I thought I could get you cuz it does sound like something from Mating Fever. You are correct, it was Toddler Tizzy but Inuyasha was talking to himself not Miroku

It really does 😂 but I'm gonna still give you something cause I forgot the details of my own fic~ This is another one that I've had in my server for nearly a year; there's definitely more to it, but this feels like a oneshot, so here's a sample ❤

Flirting With Disaster

Sango stared at the flyer, then looked up at the boy before her. He was an adult, of course, but in that moment Miroku looked far too happy to present the neon xerox copy paper to her. “And the point of this is..?”

“Free food?” Kagome leaned over her shoulder to read the flyer. “It’s a good-sized gift card that goes to each participating club –”

“You’re missing the best part –”

“Keh. Stringing along a bunch of women to win a contest for food’s a shitty thing to do. If you want something to blow up in your face all you have to do is look down when you –”

Miroku produced another flyer from his pocket and quickly slapped it over Inuyasha’s mouth. The hanyou growled, making the paper vibrate against his palm, but he held on. Just because Sango knew on some scale that he…had moments…it was something else entirely for his friend to out him in public. Indigo eyes met amber ones and he silently pleaded that Inuyasha not finish that sentence. A moment passed, and he gingerly took away the flyer.

“As I was trying to say –” he frowned at the state of the flyer, glancing at the retreating hanyou. Inuyasha had stepped away to put in their order, but Miroku knew he would still hear their conversation. “Dude, you drool. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that the best part about this contest is that it allows for club members to get out there on campus and network! It’s always good to network with our peers that aren’t affiliated with a club, especially since our senior members will move on and create new openings.”

Kagome had taken the flyer from Sango, who wanted to return to her lunch. She reached out and felt for her own cup of fries. It was only supposed to be the two of them, but Miroku and Inuyasha had also picked the same fast food joint to pick up lunch for their group. And whenever the dark haired man saw her friend, he made a b-line for her, no matter what was going on around him.

God help the drivers on the road if he ever saw Sango across heavy traffic.

“I found a flaw in your logic,” Kagome told Miroku. “This says that you have to be the club that has the greatest number of people of the opposite sex. You can’t have an all-male organization network a bunch of women,” she quirked an eyebrow at him. He was about to open his mouth to counter her point. “I wouldn’t think a man in a happy relationship would want to participate in something such as this?”

“The food, my friend! The food –”

Sango had been trying to take a sip of her drink and couldn’t contain her laughter any longer. “Oh please, quit trying to act like you’re in it for only the food. You want the glory of being the one guy on campus whose strung along as many women as possible.”

“You wound me, love.”

Three large paper bags were dropped on the table next to Miroku, and Inuyasha stood with his hands in his pockets looking bored. “Your girlfriend’s right.”

“What do you think, Inuyasha?”

He looked down at Kagome, who looked at the flyer longer than he expected. For all of the remarks, she wasn’t considering it, was she? “Uh… thing is… this dickhead already… signed our club up.” To make matters worse, the minimum number of people required in a club to participate in this challenge was five – the exact number of members they had. ‘If that kitsune had still been in high school I wouldn’t be subjected to this bullshit.’

#inuyasha #kagome #sango #miroku #inuyasha fanfic #lot of details I still need to figure out but it'll be a fun read I hope

[ultimatepokemontournament]

So now maybe it's too late, but you really have to make these polls for a week. If you don't get enough votes, the whole project is a waste and so was your blazed post. You can still keep your exact schedule, but make them all a week long, and it will stagger itself out. That way there aren't too many out at one time, people will share the ones they care about. You don't have to wait for them to finish to start the next. Just let them overlap!!

We'd have to start over, but there may be a way for me to coordinate it by releasing the first round of a Generation a week and then once we've finished all of the 9 first rounds, we can go back to G1 to start the second round and so on...

I didn't set it up this way initially because I wanted continuity within a Generation and because it would massively front-load the work I'd have to do behind the scenes. I do have some help now—a friend of mine has volunteered to assist with some of the setup—so it might be possible. (Additionally, if anyone would like to volunteer, please reach out with a non-anonymous ask. I'll send you a direct message from my main account.)

Also if we do switch to a week, I'm begging you guys to circulate the polls, especially while we're still in the early stages. I'll have to figure out a good self reblog schedule since they likely won't gather many votes after the first 24 hours if I don't, but the audience of the blog, in spite of the blazed announcement posts, is still limited.

Ultimately, I want it to be up to you guys. If we get at least 75% of 300+ votes agreeing in the next 10 or so hours (I think that's a large enough sample size for our purposes), I'll switch and we'll start again tomorrow.

#inquiries #sorry for the narrow timeframe to vote. that should be around the latest I can possibly do setup for the switch #and maybe an hour or two before i get home from work and such #thanks everyone for participating and i hope my tone isnt too rough #im writing this under my desk at work while trying to look like im not doing that ahaha