#I want to be at that point. from health to the mental. I’m not a good person believe when I say that. but I’m i tried.

[whoblewboobear]

I’m gonna take Kipperlilly from some of yall 👀 you can like a villain without trying to clear their name. She objectively is a murderer and a villain this season. It does not make you a “””””bad Person””””” if you like her. You do not have to try and age her down or make her out to be innocent or gentle or sweet or misunderstood. You do not get to use her mental health to excuse her actions either.

At this point, a lot of these post are getting into slippery slope territory, especially concerning mental health. You can be mentally ill and still understand right from wrong. Infantilizing people struggling with their mental health can cause harm. There are mentally ill people that can/will/do go their entire lives without blaming and trying to harm others because of what they’re going through.

Like I feel like we’ve officially hit Joaquin Phoenix Joker levels of ‘we live in a society’ discourse. Yes, there are things that suck and living with mental health issues and having that make your life harder sucks. But then funneling that feeling of unfairness and frustration into harming other people is not okay or justifiable. It’s a clear sign that someone went untreated or their mental health was not taken seriously enough soon enough.

There are a lot of young and impressionable people in the d20 community (a community that is overwhelmingly very supportive and cognizant of mental health) that will see the KLCK discourse and take some of these things to heart. Please be mindful in what you post. She is a fictional character and in context of the story, instead of getting further help or seeking better treatment for her mental health, she chose to harm people. Some responsibility does fall on her in that regard. Not all, but some. There is a point where things get very concerning when you become a danger to yourself or others, Kipperlilly is in that place to be very clear. She needs help.

Yes she is underage, and I do think Jawbone has a heavy responsibility to either reach out to her parents to report her behavior and figure out a treatment plan for her immediately. This never happened, even when she admitted to wanting to kill Kristen. She continued on, untreated and without her rage issues not being fully addressed. Then she murdered someone.

Infantilizing Kipperlilly to absolve her of her wrongdoing isn’t the convo we should be having. Figuring out where she falls on the morality scale does nothing, she’s one of the villains of the season, by that metric, she’s not a great person (not because of her rage disorder, because of her actions.) There are complexities to her. The conversation we should be having is why not a single faculty member or adult that interacted with her and witnessed this behavior didn’t say “woah hey, let’s pump the breaks and get you assessed for a few things and get to the root of what’s going wrong.”

When you see someone struggling, reach out, assess the situation. If you’re an adult and are in a position to help, don’t hesitate to do so or notify a parent or guardian in their life so they get them help. If you’re underage and see a peer struggling, check in and if something sticks out to you as concerning, reach out to an adult that can help or find someone to help. Don’t enable violent or harmful behavior. /Please/ that person can end up hurting themselves or someone else.

#I- listen I will go on about mental health all fucking day #it is VERY important to me #I’m not a professional or a doctor #I’m only speaking from personal experience of having family and friends with mental health issues as well as dealing with my own since I #was 12 years old #I’m now 24 and I have been consistently in therapy the entire time thankfully #initially because my mom and sister saw what I was going through and got me help and then Into my teen years to present day I continued to #seek treatment #it is dangerous to enable behavior like Kipperlilly’s #it is deeply irresponsible as well #like no she’s not real but the kids in the fandom are #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #d20 fhjy #fhjy

[froody]

My grandpa has a inguinal hernia. He’s 82. He has dementia. He’s an asshole. He doesn’t want surgery for it. The doctors recommend it is surgically corrected but as it is small it is not an emergent/immediately necessary procedure. My mom wants him to get the surgery. My grandpa is an asshole. He has been combatant and noncompliant with medical treatment his entire life. Everything from trying to get him treatment for his pneumonia to trying to get him treatment for his mood disorder has been a struggle. I’m like “Mom. I think you should respect his bodily autonomy and not do the surgery.” he will not be compliant during the recovery. And he’s old as the hills with 1,000 other health issues. He’s not going to recover well. He’s only alive because my grandma has been handholding him his entire adult life. Let him walk around with his intestines in his balls. Jesus Christ. Old people get to a point where making them do medical procedures is unethical. It would be different if he was 82 and mostly healthy and mentally spry and just scared of surgery but with grandpa it’s a balance of quality life type of thing.

[indigopoptart]

Hello! Sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that I absolutely loved the Stamps fanfic you made! I've been binge reading it and it's been such a wild ride!! Do you know if you'll be updating it any further? I really want a happy ending for the lovelies, barnaby and howdy aswell! Thanks for reading my message and have a great day! ^w^

hello hello!! you are not a bother!! im actually kinda glad you asked this bc ive been meaning to address it.

(redraw of an old ch12 doodle!)

anyway…

The future of STAMPS: (be aware this may contain some spoilers)

what happened with stamps happened because i got. kinda slapped in the face with some life events that dragged my mental health and motivation down. since then, the fic’s been on. an abrupt hiatus😭. ive had very bad writers block since then, but stamps is absolutely something i want to return back to. HOWEVER: because of things we have learned in the story, i will be changing some key plot points—specifically the laughingstock debacle, envelope colors, characterizations, and specific scenes/aspects in the story that range from major to minor. Because of this, the fic will either go through multiple major edits, or even an entire rewrite.

as for where this fic will be posted: i will be taking the fic onto tumblr (with doodles + extras on chapters), and squidge. the AO3 fic will be updated up to the most recent chapter edit, however after the newest one comes out, i WILL NOT be posting on AO3. The reasoning for this has to do with the number of zionist volunteers that the company, despite protest, has refused to fire, and even if me posting there generates them no revenue directly or whatsoever, i still do not want to be posting my works onto a platform that has remained complicit and silent in the face of genocide. i have morals.

if AO3 changes its stance, i will consider the platform. but, it probably wont, so i will be avoiding sharing my work on there for a long time.

i want to work on stamps again, i truly do, but just know that it may not update as frequently as it had in the past. i’m a full time university student now!!! on the days i’m not in class im at work!!! i sadly just do not have the time i once did, but with the end of the semester coming up, hopefully i’ll be able to get more out to you guys. just gotta make it through my finals first😭

-

if you made it this far, congratulations! you get to see the original doodle from 12 march 2023, a whole year ago!

flashbang😭

#indigo’s art #frank frankly #wally darling #STAMPS fanfiction #my art #digital art #welcome home #welcome home fanfiction #art #welcomehome #indigo speaks #doodle #sketch #welcome home horror project #boost this! #welcome home fanart #fan art #fanart #ask indigo #welcome home arg

[philsmeatylegss]

please yap about dip and pip's relationship with pj, I want to know more

FUCKING YESS!!! WHOO HOO!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY!!!

Okay so I haven’t brushed up on my PJ lore in a while, so correct me if any of this is wrong, but I’m sticking with the basics.

What gets me about their friendship is that they’ve been through it all together. Once again, correct me if I’m wrong, but him and Phil were friends before Dan started making videos, correct? It could’ve been after. Point is, he was there pre youtube era, bat shit insane era, and out era. And there’s proof they’ve stayed close through it all. I cannot imagine the pressure of maintaining a normal friendship under the circumstances they were under. I will fully admit myself I am one curious mf first thing I would ask is if they were together. And to have a bunch of 13 year olds yelling at you to do so, I can’t imagine just seeing all of that and then casually heading out to see a movie or get dinner.

I have a head cannon which I feel like I have enough reason to treat it like cannon and that’s that dnp only were close to YouTubers who didn’t care about their sexuality/relationship. You had to be there, but the 2014 british youtuber boom, dnp were making collabs with people who just were so different and it showed. And I don’t think people will understand if they weren’t there how big of a thing “phan” was. They were described usually something along the lines of “those friends with the matching hair that fans think are together.” So when you mix personalities that, to no one’s fault, just don’t blend, mix it with the pressure of five million thirteen year olds, and mix it with people who one has a lot wrong with them, that’s a really bad mixture to set up a friendship. I believe other than Louise and PJ, who dnp knew before hand (pretty sure louise, might have been at the start of their career), tyler oakley and Anthony seem to be the only creators they seemed comfortable around. I forgot why I started talking about this. Oh, the conditions in which friendship had to stand under.

I truly don’t know how to explain how insane the phandom used to be. And how widespread. As someone approaching the age they were when they started to blow up, I am amazed they didn’t leave the internet.

This whole long rant is to say that it was overwhelming to even be in the vicinity of dnp. The amount of pressure is something I truly cannot describe. And it’s hard to explain if you weren’t there, but I cannot imagine an outsider maintaining a relationship with the two of them with the pressures both within the relegation ship and outside. Because let’s also not forget Dan’s mental health and trauma was triggered every time a “phan is real” comment happened. It was truly such a chaotic time and I think the reason they didn’t have a lot of friends was because they couldn’t.

So it’s just that it must have been so fucking hard. And they must have a very close bond to have survived what their friendship endured. It was such a unique scenario to be pulled into and deciding to come along for the ride is something I find so admirable.

I also think PJ has been a part of their journey with sexuality and how public they were about being together. From what we know, Phil and PJ filmed together back when it was just millennials. To as recent as filming April Fool’s. That experience of watching that dynamic rise and fall and having to just follow and work with must’ve been crazy

If you look at a lot of the credits in dnp’s more professional videos, PJ is often in the credit and often has a big role. Really, it’s mostly the same people who dip and pip work with which gets me the most. It’s obvious they feel comfortable and genuine around him. We’ve seen behind the scenes how they discuss ideas. It’s just very relaxed, which is something dip and pip were deprived of as soon as they started blowing up. Everything had to be planned and thought through. And I think having an old friend who they were likely open to about their relationship and sexuality probably kept them sane. I do believe they are a lot closer than they put forward online and good for them. I think that’s why they’ve stayed friends for so long.

A lot of this is pure speculation. But it must be so cool to have watched your close friend go through the journey pip did, all the while being with someone he loved. But also helping them through it and helping them express themselves within their own boundaries.

That’s what I was yapping about at the start. I think the few YouTubers dip and pip remained close to Anthony, Louise, and Tyler, is because they seemed to like dan and phil because they liked dan and phil. There was no ulterior motive and they genuinely didn’t give a shit their relationship or what fans said. If I were dnp, I would have become very guarded with my emotions. But, at least from what we’ve seen, they seem very comfortable with Pj and his gf I forget her name but she’s so pretty.

When I think of friendship I think of what Peej has with dip and pip. There was so much obvious discomfort for so many years and being able to adapt to that is something special. Balancing public versus private. And just having such long history together. Once again, I’m not up to date on my lore, but I’m pretty sure Phil and Pj knew each other before Phil knew Dan. Or at least it was very close. Like they have been friends from the start. Pj was there for every stage. Every stage. And having a friend who remained neutral during it all probably really helped dip and pip not go nuts.

I truly cannot put into words how out of control the phandom was. Like I don’t even know how to phrase it. It was such a unique phenomena that I have never seen anything even close since. So it’s hard to really get across what it meant sticking with dip and pip during the height of their career, but it must have been so fucking hard on all sides.

And to just see after that chaos that they are still close, that they still film together, that they just hang out,,, I just find that very neat. And admirable. And I’m so curious to know more about it.

I’m not rereading any of this so enjoy the typos

#asks #dan and phil #phan

[indelicateink]

confused. are the screeners out or not? reports conflict.

because if so, journalistic integrity is kinda dogshit for some folks? did social media on this topic just become unusable for the next FOUR WEEKS while people in the know make reveals like the character spoiler today?

#c’mon i’m okay with low-key spoilers but we have 4 whole ass weeks ahead of us ppl #and i resent like hell that i’ll have to avoid the entire? iwtv tag? to stay unspoiled for potentially major shit bc damn #the lead-up is a big part of the fun? #kitten daddy’s going to be real with you he NEEDS THE SEROTONIN HIT from the deranged vampires bc he is going through The Horrors rn #like point me to the place on the internet where i can celebrate the promos and press and fic and art and interviews without #someone slapping me in the face with their knowledge bomb dick #i was not emotionally prepared for AprilMay to be that weird liminal space where #people like that one person who was perhaps struggling with some mental health issues vowed to the fandom she filmed her character marrying #ldl in s2 #and you have to play a tiresome game of guessing if you’re dealing with troll fever dreams or leaked information neither of which you want #you just want your daily dose of the deranged vampires #i mean if you’re cool with screener spoilers and you’re tagging accordingly god bless but #not everyone’s using the Haha This Is A Screener Spoiler tag #and i’m already tired

[barkbrained]

You have to think things will get better, otherwise what is the point!!! You have to hold out hope that things will get better and then maybe one day things will feel safe and be cool and everything will be fine (at least as fine as it can be)

#misc #rbs okay #I’m just so tired of the state of the world and I’m so tired of feeling unsafe every day #so tired of being tired. I have to hope my body will heal and I will feel better but it’s so hard #change has to come at some point and I have to hope I can make it to that point #I’m having a terrible time coping with the pain and fatigue and mental strain covid has left me with #I want to feel okay again so badly #all I want in the world is to make art and experience art and music and movies and live a little life with my partner in some place nice #I’m scared I’ll never feel okay enough to have that and I’m scared the world won’t ever feel safe enough again to have that #I just keep telling myself something has to change and trying to believe it so hard #if I make it through this pandemic with any semblance of health and stability I will be happy #I don’t even want to think about how much trauma the pandemic has given me and will continue to give me #I grieve everyday for the world that could’ve been and the person I will never get the chance to be because of this pandemic #my health anxiety has skyrocketed in the past four years and just keeps getting worse #I can’t hear people coughing or sneezing or sniffling without panicking for a few seconds every time #I already had emetophobia before 2020 but now I have the same panicked feeling from anyone exhibiting any signs of illness #it’s exhausting T-T everything is exhausting #sorry for vent-ish post on main ik it’s not very professional but whatever this is my blog #covid tw

[bloodheartz]

I’m at the worst I’ve been mentally since I tried to kill myself. lol

#vent #I’ll be fine I’m at very different but equally bad point mental health wise #I just want school to be over I need a break jfc #I wish I was able to take a gap year between high school and college #I really needed it. I need a break from school it’s been killing me mentally for the past like. five years #cw sui mention

[itstimeforstarwars]

In the galidraan au, omega is a clone of arla fett. I don’t know if it will come up at all or have any plot relevance, but it does shape my worldbuilding just a bit.

#chit chat #galidraan au #putting this in the galidraan au is made more difficult by the fact that none of the time travelers know anything about arla fett #lmao #rex knows omega purely out of blond clone solidarity and that's IT #sometimes i want to write like. current time oneshots. just to explain everything. #dooku nabbed arla fett at one point just to ensure compliance from jango #but jango was so onboard with the kill the jedi plot that he didn't end up needing her #so he erased her memory of him and sent her back to the facility #where she stayed until canon events #and palpatine kept an eye on her just in case they needed her again #there’s like a whole vague backstory i have about palpatine’s involvement in arla’s arrest and later her confinement at the valorum center #but i need to do a lot more research into mental health care before i could ever put it in a fic #and there is such a high likelihood of me never using it that i simply have not gotten around to it yet #psychiatric confinement tw #mental hospital tw #not precisely but if u know her backstory you know what I’m talking about

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

#I relate to all of this so much #and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma #I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine #it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian #honestly at this point I have no clue what i am #even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma #but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents #growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold #cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them #but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there #their perfect angel fell from heaven #and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything #it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith #it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally #the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church #when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with #wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was #YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away #and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone) #but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life #but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it #which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to #^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop #sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma #yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse #sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 #and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past #please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best #it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family #I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help

[rinhaler]

I’m soooo excited to finish writing toxic!megumi btw 🤤

#🧚🏽‍♀️ — luxe chit chat #the doc is low key gathering dust but it’s okay #idk if I mentioned Kay is here until Monday so we are just hanging out and having fun! #we’re rewatching spy x family atm! #just been watching a bunch of stuff and playing games together it’s been rly nice #idk how many of u here followed me from my old blog #I mentioned having a rly tough time with a friend and tbh the situation hasn’t improved in the least #my mental health is super bad bc I feel really trapped with no options #but spending this time w Kay has been so nice #I’ve just had a shower n we r gonna watch more sxf!! #ANYWAY my point is I just haven’t had a chance to write lately since he’s visiting! #he uses my laptop to play Pokémon and stuff bc I have a better gaming one hehe <3 #but I am gonna finish toxic megumi sometime next week #im hoping I might be able to squeeze some time in to write in when Kay sleeps in! #i wanted to do it today but he woke up not too long after me! #he usually sleeps in super late he doesn’t sleep too good :( #omg I’m rambling so much I’m sorry I hope ur all having good days and nights and taking care of yourselves!!

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day) #(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

[the-starlight-papers]

Oh boy just found out that politics are coming directly to my conservative college campus this fall.

Yay.

#well thank god I’m cooping so I won’t be there I guess. #I still might drive in to protest because presumably there’ll be one #annother fun session of having people yell transphobic shit while we chant stuff like ‘hate has no place here’ #if I’m lucky the campus barstool account will post a picture of me at the protest again (this is not a good thing) #also sucks because my parents are just kinda like ‘well that’s how it is. people are allowed to have different political beliefs’ #like yeah they can have different political beliefs but I would like to medically transition and these guys want me to not #also I love working with kids and being a camp counselor and stuff #and some of these people would want me arested as a p/e/dofile because I’m trans and indoctrinating their children #so yeah sure they can have different beliefs but they don’t seem to understand that there are certain groups that want trans people gone #honestly my parents are both upper middle class white people. they come from a long line of college educated people in primarily white areas #both of them tend to preach tolerance to the point where I have to have the paradox of tolerance picture on my phone to remind myself that #tolerance is a social contract not a moral principle #(a good example of this is when I found out that a girl on my xc team had to move schools because she was bullied out of my hs #becuase she was homophobic. and he was like ‘well bullying is never the answer’ #ok but like you understand that she was probably harassing gay people at my school right) #in conclusion: pro tip for queer students choosing their college: yes they may give you lots of money. but is it worth your mental health

[thebeautifulfantastic]

.

#i usually do everything in my power to Not think like this but i have to get it out of my head #there have been so many times recently where i think about my acting and my life goals and i just. want to give it all up #i am so tired and i have these moments of incredible hopelessness #and i feel like nothing has ever worked out for me & i’ve always had terrible timing with reaching my goals… #i think about even the one big goal that i HAVE lived and achieved through hard work (last year’s internship that i’ve mentioned a couple ti #times on here) gave some incredible memories but it also wreaked havoc on my mental health and my studies #now i’m burned out a lot of the time. i have undiagnosed adhd and probably autism as well — which i would never use as an excuse for not bei #being able to do something but it is HARD because my mom won’t believe that I’m neurodivergent #and it is difficult to be productive #Also Christmastime always makes me sad so there’s that #but point is. sometimes i want to give up #and i have never been someone to quit on my dreams so i feel pretty shitty for even entertaining the idea #i know that acting and every other art form that i love is what i WANT and i can’t think of much else that would make me happy #but sometimes i am just so tired i… don’t even want to try anymore #disappointment and the fear of more disappointment just becomes too much #i just want to get away from my past and start over #belle speaks #stories of my life #adventures in showbiz

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Currently resisting the urge to blackmail my father into therapy

#At this point I’ve almost said “well if you don’t talk about your Jehovah’s Witness trauma with someone; I will #because yours is directly related to mine due to having vented on me about it since I was six” #I’ve almost said it ten times within the past hour #exjw #And this is the congregation he thought was our family’s eternal salvation from my apostacy. Ha! #“Jehovah is guiding us here” Jehovah didn’t do shit for you except give you PTSD-induced gout and kidney stones; come off it #Get out of her my people #I’m not even sorry for him. What the elders said to him wasn’t his fault; but he 100% got himself into this mess #for my benefit (to strike the fear of god into his disgusting homosexual sinning boygirl daughter with raging hormones) #And his homophobic rant he went on… please just call me a faggot #I’m having it out with him before I go for no other reason but my own satisfaction #ex cult #”I can’t talk to a worldly therapist because they won’t want to worship Jehovah when someone preaches to them” #Why — pray tell — will they react in that way? Because it’s a cult #Cult: spelled “C-U-L-T.” You didn’t listen to the content of my diaries (which you read against my will) and now you’re suffering #Play stupid games win stupid prizes #He’s the most traumatized out of the two of us as a direct result of him trying to “fix” me… #also because I don’t keep touching a hot stove after it burns me. JWs are a toxic cult; so I no longer believe them #My mental health is better as a result #I have worldly comfort media and I swear liberally (which is proven to soothe physical pain) #I’ve accepted myself as queer. I’ve accepted my dark tastes in music and media. #I’ve started doing something with my life to get out ASAP. #Life isn’t good but it’s gotten better once I changed my mindset and stopped being a close-minded homophobic asshole #Just because a couple gay guys were creepy towards you doesn’t mean they’re all like that #Straight guys have been creepy towards me and I never said I wished death upon all straight men #A creep is a creep is a creep; sexuality doesn’t make you a creep — being creepy makes you a creep

[jovalencia]

okay so basically. um. 😐

#went to a play at my old high school and god. I saw some of my old choir girlies and I miss them so much it’s ridiculous #and having people ask me about college makes me realize how truly miserable I am up there. like what Is the Point ya know #and high school sucked obvs I’m not saying I wish I was back there but at least I like… had friends? not even really friends just people #I knew and who knew me and I loved them and they at least liked me and cared about me and I cared about them and it was great #but up there I have nobody and no direction and it’s like UGH what am I doing. I literally cannot name a single thing I like about #college aside from the library and the sky bridges and the dining hall French fries and chicken burgers #other than that it’s hell and wanting to kill myself #and I told my mom this weekend about how I truly do hate it and she was just like . #suck it up. you aren’t gonna move back home. like whatever okay #which I guess is fine since she technically doesn’t have to let me move back but it hurts to know that she wouldn’t support my #decision to get out of something that is actively making me miserable and obliterating my mental health #yay! #the play was fantastic though my god 10/10 #carmen.txt

[seilon]

idk where I expected shinee to be in the year of our lord 2022 but the combination of each of the members current activities is so amusingly strange to me like. kibum absolutely shredding a bunch of totally unique and aesthetically unmatched solos, jinki following and going all out on his own solo, taemin’s been totally off the grid for months, and minho’s just. playing golf

#kibumblabs #it’s. it’s something alright #i really hope taem’s doing okay though fr generally I’m fully in support of him taking as much time out of the spotlight as he wants for #mental health reasons or really any reasons cause after literally living half his life as a nonstop celebrity artist I think he deserves it #to say the least. but I really just wanna know if he’s doing alright seeing as he wasn’t doing well last time we heard anything about him #like from what it seems it was mentioned by sm that hes been having problems with depression and panic disorder and then he just kind of #disappeared;;; again I hope that’s a good thing and hes doing better away from the spotlight and all but… idk hearing that he doesn’t #talk to kibum much these days and doesn’t seem to really be interacting with much of anyone… idk at that point it sounds a bit iffy #i mean im talking as someone who has been depressed and isolating myself from everyone for months so. hey at least I have room to talk #anyway on the bright side. absolutely living for kibum just doing whatever the fuck he wants these days and going all out on his solos l #like he DESERVES. god bles #same with jinki of course but kibum is just. man he’s just out there living his best life covered in glitter and clad in high fashion and #we love that for him #shinee