#I want to actively help improve things but right now my role is to “like comment and share”

[mrblazeflappybird]

I wish I was old enough to put my privilege to use.

#like i may be a trans bi white boy but I look like a cishet white boy #You couldn't tell I'm neurodivergent if I didn't tell anyone (probably) #I have all this priviledge and I can't use it because I'm too young to do anything that makes an impact #I wanna be a politician or go into politics and do human rights #I wish I could do that now because i'm worried by the time I'm old enough the world will be in peices #I just wish I could do more than just share posts and like fundraisers and spread the word on the problems people need to see #I want to actively help improve things but right now my role is to “like comment and share” #It sucks seeing people suffer and not being able to use the priveledge I've been blessed with to try get ignorant people to understand #Anyway sorry for the tag rant #I just want to do something more than just post about things on my tiny tumblr blog and pray someone else can do something #because I cant yet #and that really sucks

[bitchesgetriches]

Bitches I need some advice.

I'm fat, okay? I'm not ashamed about it. It just... Is. I'm fat.

Being fat is also fucking me up. It's causing me sleep problems, it's fucking my joints, I can't walk as far as I used to, I haven't run in years.

I want to lose weight. Not for anyone else. For me. I want to be fit again.

I'm surrounded by people telling me I'm "not fat" and need to "love myself like I am". I'm 210lb and 5'3". Ya girl is fat. And I'm okay with that it's not a bad word. I love myself. But I also love the things I used to be able to do when I was fitter. It's just really fucking hard.

I've got zero support left and right. And I don't know what to do. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but you're such great internet mamas that maybe you can help.

My darling child, we are SO humbled that you came to us with this. And while this isn't an area of our OFFICIAL expertise... weight and athleticism is something that I, Piggy, personally think a lot about! So let me see if I can offer some support to you, my beloved fat child.

By way of background: I have never been fat. Heavier than I want currently, but not fat. So I don't completely understand what you're going through. I have always been an athlete of one sort or the other. But more than that, I have always had the privilege of being relatively skinny without trying. At peak fitness I was running and rock climbing and doing all the stretchy and weight-trainy stuff. I was 5'5" and 130 lbs of jacked Bitch.

I am also a proud Italian American woman, which means that after 30 genetics decreed that I start putting on weight and rounding out and coming into my full Zia-ness. I'm currently 155 lbs. and running/climbing/stretching/jumping about/weight training is getting harder and harder. And that's frustrating to me.

Fat is not a bad word, merely a descriptor. So I'mma use it just as you have! I'm proud that you are prioritizing your health and ability to do what you love over losing weight for the sake of just being smaller. Because let's be clear: weight and health do not necessarily go hand in hand. If your goal is to improve your sleep quality, energy levels, and joint pain, then you should focus on activities that will work directly on those issues. Maybe that'll lead to weight loss--maybe not!

A lot of the medical establishment is cruel to fat people, so I'd be cautious about approaching this with your doctor. But you SHOULD get medical guidance before embarking on any kind of physical change. If your doctor says "Well, just lose weight through diet and exercise!" then you might want to look for a new doctor. If they instead offer practical solutions for incremental improvement, then great.

One of my favorite athletes is The Mirnavator. She's a fat marathon runner and offers a lot of information on how to start walking more and running as a fat person. I think she'll be a good role model for you as she focuses a lot on energy and joint health.

Also, you should check out Aubrey Gordon's blog Your Fat Friend and her podcast with Michael Hobbes, Maintenance Phase. She's also got some great books out! She's a fat expert on weight loss and diet culture. And her insights into healthy nutrition and body image are amazing. Her data-based approach will help you avoid the extreme dieting and weight loss trends that can hurt your health. Plus she's funny as fuck.

Lastly I will just say that mental health is tied to physical health. You're bummed about not doing the things you use to be able to do... and that probably makes it a lot harder to change! Acknowledge any depression or anxiety you feel about being fat and give yourself compassion. Start small and do what feels good.

Now here are two VERY old articles I wrote when I knew less about fatness. I think they still have a little bit to offer, though:

Why You Probably Don't Need That Gym Membership

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money 

Any fat members of Bitch Nation who want to weigh in? Uh... pun not intended.

#tw: weight loss #tw: fat #tw: dieting #just adding trigger warnings because I know any discussion of fatness and weight loss can be really triggering to some folks #be well my darlings

[queenofcoquette]

what self love looks like for me

hey loves! after getting a few asks about self love, i wanted to make a more in-depth post. now, self love looks different for everyone, same with self improvement. this post isn’t telling you how you should love yourself, it’s just me sharing things that have helped me.

~having routines to look good~

i make sure to take care of my physical health, which i think is one of the most important ways for me to show self care to myself. i take care of my hygeine and my health (what i eat, what my daily routine looks like). when i stay healthy and feel neat and clean, i always feel good. 

taking care of my body- eating well, staying active, staying hydrated. keeping my body healthy so i can feel good and energized

embracing my natural beauty- having a consistent skin care routine, taking care of my hair and teeth. taking care of those things before makeup and such

looking polished- making sure my nails are well manicured, putting effort into my outfits

doing self care days- usually on sunday or monday i like to do a face mask and exfoliate my body. i like to do little things like that to feel fresh for the week

~having other priorities~

when i feel like i look bad i just wash my face and do other things. i like to show self love by working towards my goals. a big source of happiness and confidence for me comes from what i achieve, not just how i look.

working on improving my mental health/who i am- a good personality always makes you 1000% more attractive. i like to take care of my physical health as well as my mental health in order to feel good

focusing on my hobbies/more important things in my life- when i feel like i don’t look good i just try to focus on other things, like doing work and stuff. i like to stay busy, i feel like a lot of my confidence comes from my achievements and the work i do, over how i look

remembering to be positive about my appearance- there’s certainly more important things in the world, and in my own life then fixating on how i look. i just make sure to look clean and fresh and then i go on with my day

having role models- i like to have lots of motivation to work hard in all aspects of my life. i like to stay motivated and visualize what i want to do, and then work for my goals. right now i’d say my biggest role model is natalie portman :)

i hope u all have your own ways that you love yourself. at the end of the day it’s important to remember that we only have one body in this lifetime, so it’s crucial to take care of our bodies and minds. i hope u all feel amazing <3

#that girl #that girl 2023 #pink pilates princess #self love #self improvement

[trilobiter]

After reading into this story, I think that it's worth saying that the situation is a bit more complicated than it has been portrayed, or as the headline suggests. A human being, Jason M. Allen, used an AI program called Midjourney to create a work of visual art to his specifications, a process that he says took him over eighty hours. He entered the finished result into a contest and won first place.

I'm not an expert on art, but like many people I have a very strong relationship with it. Much of my thinking on art has been influenced by the common mythology around art and its role in modern society, a mythology which expresses the values we place on art. As I value art, I can't help having opinions on this - but since I'm not a visual artist, I'm not qualified to speak to the way this will impact those people economically. I am not optimistic on that front, but I won't get into it too much.

I think creative people of all types are right to be apprehensive about AI, because it seems that there is no reason, in principle, to suppose that it won't upend their livelihood in some way. Jason Allen says he was an active participant and creative controller of the process that resulted in his winning artwork, but as the technology improves it will be used to generate content in an increasingly automated way. I say "content" because what we're talking about is a kind of capitalist production of art-as-commodity.

If an AI program can generate an image that can win an art prize, then it can compose and record a number one pop song, write a best-selling novel, or direct an award-winning film. And I believe that when these things happen, the public will mostly accept it, because as odd as it sounds, it's not that different from what we've been trained to accept as culture. Pop music, popular books, and popular films have all been created in assembly-line fashion for over a hundred years, in a corporate structure aimed at maximizing returns from a market. Most people don't care that much about the ghostwriter of a bestseller, or the technical crew named in the end credits of a blockbuster. When AI gifts us with a bop, most people will shrug their shoulders, say "it's a bop," and dance.

A lot of people believe, intuitively, that making art should be difficult. AI makes art a lot easier, but in that sense, so does modern industrially produced paint, which comes in a variety of colors that Michelangelo could only dream of. We lionize the Renaissance masters because of what they achieved with simpler tools, though I haven't heard many people suggest that painters today limit themselves to whatever colors and techniques were available in 15th century Italy. Still, there's an inherent tension between possible through innovation, and what is thereby lost.

Like most things, issues like this make me think of Star Trek. Specifically, I think of Data from The Next Generation. Data is an android character with markedly android mannerisms, and is a futuristic depiction of what can only be called AI, who nonetheless is presented to the audience as a person with an interior life that is equally valid to a human being's. When Starfleet Command wants to compulsorily reassign and disassemble him, the show explicitly compares this to human slavery. We are meant to evaluate Data's character as we would a human crew member, and not as we would a typical piece of the show's futuristic technology.

Data wants to be seen as human, and he does human things like making art. He is shown to practice several creative arts throughout the show's run, including poetry, comedy, music, acting, and painting. He studies these arts, and attempts to replicate them, struggling along the way to find his own creative voice. His early attempts often seem to bear out the claim that, not being human, he cannot produce anything that is both original and genuinely moving. As time passes, however, this is no longer clearly the case. Attentive viewers will note that Data grows into an artist who does create with an original voice, even if that voice is characteristically like an android - in other words, characteristically like Data.

Optimistically, we may be looking at a future where an AI personality not unlike Data will create works of art that will move us all. But it is important to remember that Data is not just an AI, he is a person - and not simply because he is portrayed by a human actor. We as viewers can accept Data's legitimacy as an artist because the show takes pains to reinforce his legitimacy as a person. But Midjourney is not a person. It lacks anything like the interiority that defines Data as a person in our eyes. Midjourney is not learning how to paint so that it can become a real boy.

What Jason Allen did probably qualifies as art, and Midjourney can probably be seen as analogous to a brush or any traditional artist's tool. A tool like this could, conceivably, help artists achieve breakthroughs of the same magnitude as the discovery of perspective, or the conceptual leaps of modernism. But put that tool into the hands of people who aren't artists - say, the hands of a CEO who wants to cut costs on the latest product of the content assembly line - and I'm afraid I have to say that the result will only cheapen the art. It could be visually indistinguishable from the most beautiful human artwork I have ever seen, and it won't be worth remembering. It will have value only as a commodity.

When I think of some of my favorite works of art, music, or writing, I reflect on how what makes them my favorite is not simply that I appreciate the shape of a line, the resonance of a harmony, or the word order of a sentence. What makes the experience of engaging with these things meaningful to me is not just that they exist, but that they represent the attempt of a real human being, just like me, to communicate with other human beings just like me. What use is art without artistry?

The joy that makes art worthwhile, even art that was produced for commercial purpose, is the knowledge that it wasn't just produced for commercial purposes. It's not enough that the thing was made because the maker believed some one would buy it, but that they felt in their own soul that they could reach that person in a way that had nothing to do with money. If I can't believe that about an artwork, then I can't care about it the same way as the works I truly love. It has to be more than something to consume, at the cheapest prices available.

I don't think it can be denied that AI will change our relationship with media, or challenge some core assumptions we have about creativity. The real question is, what are human beings (and the truly sentient AI of the future) going to do about "art?"

#trilobiter #science #art #jason m. allen #midjourney #capitalism #artificial intelligence #star trek #star trek: the next generation #lt. commander data #history

[pukanavis]

Plum Blossoms and Snowflakes | Prologue 1

Mayoi: Aah, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.

I’m sorry for being alive, Chief—

Gyah!?

Urgh, I slipped on the snow and fell to the ground.

(Sigh…I don’t have the will in me to move right now.)

(I’m sorry, Chief. I didn’t consider how you’d feel and wound up making the wrong choice.)

(You should detest the person I am now. I’m nothing but a worm that isn’t worth keeping alive…!)

(Aah, it’s so cold. If I fall unconscious, engulfed by this snow, would my disgusting self be purified in the slightest?)

(Aaahhhh…)

???: —Uhm, are you alright?

Mayoi: Huh? The sound of a sweet voice? I must be hallucinating.

Fufufu…maybe an angel has come to take me away.

???: An angel? No, I’m—

Time: FlashbackーAfter school, a few days earlier Location: Yumenosaki Academy's garden terrace

Hajime: ♪～♪～♪

Ritsu: Looks like someone’s in a good mood.

Hajime: Ehehe, we’re doing a tea club activity for the first time in a while, so I can't help myself. I even ended up baking cookies in my excitement ♪

Ritsu: You really made this ordinary day feel luxurious. Can I have a cookie?

Hajime: Of course, have as many as you like~♪

An ordinary day, you say? That reminds me of the time last year that we role-played Alice in Wonderland here.

Ritsu: Oh, yeah. Ecchan asked us to play along and do some improv acting with him.

I played the Cheshire Cat but really, I’m more suited to be the Dormouse.

Oh, to do nothing but eat and sleep. Zzz, zzz…♪

Hajime: Fufu. I think I’m more like the March Hare.

We may not have a Hatter, but let’s enjoy this Mad Tea Party of ours.

Arashi: …Oh my? If it isn’t Ritsu-chan and Hajime-chan. Are you two doing club activities?

Ritsu: Nacchan, Mayomayo. What’re you doing here?

Arashi: We’re just out on a walk. We’ve been wandering around, making idle chatter and enjoying the day.

We won’t be able to do things like this once we graduate so we’ll have to make lots of memories to avoid leaving with any regrets. Right, Mayoi-chan ♪ 

Mayoi: Y-Yes. Though, I’m not very competent at communicating, so I end up as the listener much of the time…

However, Narukami-san keeps it at a pace I can follow so I’m able to enjoy myself too.

Ristu: Hmm, so you’re making memories, huh…?

Why don’t you join us then?

Mayoi: Join…you? In your tea party?

Ristu: Yeah. We’ve been enjoying an ordinary day of our own too. You’re fine with it, aren’t you, Haa~kun?

Hajime: You’re more than welcome to join us. Ehehe, this is feeling a lot more like Alice in Wonderland now.

Please have a seat. Alice, White Rabbit, I’ll have a cup ready for you in just a moment ♪

Arashi: Oh, it’s wonderful to be compared to Alice ♪

You don’t mind if I be Alice, do you, Mayoi-chan?

She’s simply adorable, and her name gives off a similar feeling to 'Arashi' ♪  I’ve always wanted to try being her at least once.

Mayoi: Of course, go ahead. Although…

It would be terribly arrogant for somebody the likes of me to be the White Rabbit. I’m more deserving of the role of the Caterpillar.

I’ll go and feed on the grass over there like a bug should.

Hajime: Grass? Ayase-senpai, you eat grass too?

Mayoi: “Too”...? Shino-san, you’ve eaten grass before?

Hajime: Yes, I come from a poor family, so it was a common source of food when I was a child.

Mayoi: O-Oh, I see. I apologise, it seems I made you touch on a difficult subject…

Hajime: Oh, there’s no need to apologise~. I’m the one that brought it up.

Besides, they’re memories that I look back fondly on.

It was exciting gathering wild plants with my family—like we were going on a treasure hunt. I also found interest in learning which plants were and weren’t edible.

But rather than grass, I have cookies for us to enjoy today.

I baked a large batch, so please help yourself ♪

Mayoi: Thank you. You’re very kind, Shino-san.

Ritsu: Look at you seducing your seniors again. Haa~kun, you really are a naughty boy, aren’t you? 

Hajime: I’m not trying to seduce anyone? Gosh…

Narukami-senpai, thank you for your patience. Here’s a cup of ‘Nacchan Tea’ for you.

Arashi: Thank you, Hajime-chan.

Mayoi: What is ‘Nacchan Tea’ ?

Hajime: It’s a herbal tea blended to Narukami-senpai’s tastes. Its floral flavour and the refreshing hit of mint are its stand-out qualities.

Would you like to try it, Ayase-senpai? Or would you rather a regular cup of tea?

Mayoi: No, I’d like to try ‘Nacchan Tea’...

Arashi: Nice going, Mayoi-chan.

Let’s take advantage of the beautification properties in ‘Nacchan Tea’ and become gorgeous together ♪

Next

#hajime #mayoi #arashi #ritsu

[your-devoted-domme]

About me

I'm an introvert who is a huge dork at heart. I love spending time in nature (particularly the forest), reading and writing, learning new things (particularly about languages/linguistics, anthropology and history, mythology and different religions), going to the theatre and opera, listening to outdated music and playing with my dog.

I consider myself a (female) bisexual dominant stone top, meaning I like being in charge and making my subs feel good but I do not enjoy being on the receiving end of any sort of penetration and most other sex acts. I'm interested in both male and female subs with a preference for other women.

What I'm looking for on here:

Friends or a long-term romantic relationship (I'm not interested in polyamory but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if my partner was). I'm not interested in casual play at all and I will only engage in D/s with a romantic partner.

What I'm looking for in a partner:

looking for a long-term romantic relationship

in my age range (~ 21-35, roughly)

I'm very attracted to people who are just good (kind, helpful). I don’t need someone to be the smartest person or the most confident or the funniest, just try to be the kindest version of yourself you can be.

good communication, willingness to listen and speak up if there are problems

mutual respect (especially when it comes to personal boundaries) and trust

willingness to compromise

strong sense of self and independence, maturity

overall emotional connection

I adore gentle people and even those who are a bit shy.

"naturally submissive" as in not just looking to have a certain kink fulfilled but who is happy to let me take charge in the bedroom

feminist/feminist ally

has done their homework with regards to kink -- it's fine to be inexperienced (I am as well) but I would hope any person wanting to engage in kink has at least done some research

someone who doesn't view me as a "kink dispenser" and sees me as a human being who is flawed and imperfect just like everyone else

Me as a partner:

Of course, it's a bit silly to just write a whole essay about what I am like in a relationship so I'm not going to do that and just hope my positive qualities will become clear during actual conversation. :)

That being said, I try to embody all of the traits I look for in a partner myself (kindness, empathy, independence, maturity, mutual respect, loyalty, honesty...). Since my biggest love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time, it's important to me to put aside time for my partner and really focus on them as well as performing small acts that make them happy, such as getting their favourite drink from the coffee shop or helping them with a task they've been struggling with.

I also try to actively improve myself, mostly by journaling (doing shadow work), meditating and going to therapy.

One of the things I'm still working on is my tendency to withdraw when I'm stressed and wanting to solve all my problems by myself.

I'm also still finishing up university right now, so in case of a potential long-distance relationship, I don't know what my situation will look like in a year or so. Ideally, my partner would be open to re-locating to Germany.

One last thing to note is that I've only had relationships with other women before but I am bisexual so I'm open to men as well. I've mostly avoided dating men because I am a stone top and I figured most men wouldn't be into that and because I don't enjoy all of the gender roles and expectations in straight relationships. Let me buy a beautiful boy flowers if I want to!

Me as a domme:

I don't have much experience with domming per se but I have been a stone top in all of my previous relationships. I learnt that I like being the "active" partner, the one who does things rather than being the one who gets acted upon. I don't enjoy being penetrated at all, I would be okay with receiving cunnilingus but frankly, my sexuality is more focused on my partner and making them feel good. That's why long-term chastity/orgasm denial doesn't interest me, I enjoy making my partner come too much to be satisfied with that.

In general, I would consider myself more along the lines of a gentle domme, I'm very into giving praise and taking care of my partner in the bedroom. I don't like being harsh at all and I do not want to insult/degrade my sub (making them fell embarrassed is another matter entirely -- especially if my sub becomes flustered because of the praise I heap onto them).

I think there are two overall "schools" of femdom, with the focus either being on the sub or the dom and of course most people fall somewhere in the middle. I consider "dom-focused" to be acts like a sub attending to their domme in the bath or performing body worship on them or admiring their beauty while "sub-focused" would be the reverse of that -- it can also be a dominant act to want to care for a sub. I'm more in the latter camp, I want to adore my sub and it's important to me that they are okay with being the object of my affection (and desire).

My ideal dynamic:

The most important thing I crave in a dynamic is being able to feel like I'm taking care of my sub in some manner. I love providing pleasure and making them feel 'safe'.

I'm also looking for a mostly bedroom-only dynamic. I don't mind having a couple of general rules if that's something my partner is interested in but I don't think the 24/7 high protocol life is for me. I want my partner to still feel like an equal outside of kink.

My ideal dynamic would involve a lot of mutual reassurance and communication. I would love to be with someone I feel safe exploring with, someone that makes it easy to just be myself and where I don't have to worry about not meeting their expectations. I also want to hear my partner's thoughts about everything, they need to let me know what they like/dislike and generally have an open communication style.

I also like it when my subs show some initiative, especially in the beginning when we're both still trying to figure out the other I think it's so important to know that this is what they want.

Occasional bratting can be fun but more for when the dynamic is actually established. Right in the beginning I think I would lose my confidence as a domme too much if my sub constantly sassed me and I felt I had to always "make" them do things rather than them being excited about obeying me. I'm also more generally interested in obedience, there is something very beautiful about someone giving me this "gift" of their obedience.

Now for some specific insights:

a dream would be to be able to dress my subs, decide what outfit they'll wear for the day and what clothes to buy when out shopping. For long-distance it would even be fun to receive an "outfit of the day" selfie

I'm looking for a good girl/boy to shower with attention and take care of (while they are still a mature/capable adult outside of the bedroom)

I love obedience and "casual" non-sexual submission, especially a sub kneeling before me while I run my fingers through their hair, maybe hand feed them a snack if they get hungry.

I don't really like gender roles, I look quite traditionally feminine and I'm usually attracted to feminine women and masculine men but when it comes to behaviour, I do not like to stick to certain requirements. I like opening doors for my sub but I also love it when they offer me their arm so I can hold it and steer them where I want to go

I enjoy giving a lot of praise, maybe even in a slightly patronising/condescending way during a scene but I'm not overly fond of degradation. Some slight verbal humiliation would be okay for me but I honestly prefer giving praise.

Kinks

praise

pegging/strap on use

toys

spanking

fingering

overstimulation

edging

pet names

collars/leashes

kneeling

handcuffs/soft bondage

shibari

obedience +devotion

shy subs

body worship (giving)

size kink

fingers in mouth

marking/biting

fucking machine

remote controlled toys

anal

free use

...

Limits:

ABDL, age regression

incest (simulated or otherwise)

watersports, scat

feederism

sissy, feminization (not because I don't like feminine men but because it often tends towards being misogynistic as in "being feminine makes me feel submissive")

cuckolding

forced bi

chastity (short term denial or edging is okay but I would lose interest if I didn't get to see my sub come regularly <3)

degradation (I don't mind making a sub feel embarrassed about something but I prefer praise to insults)

any fetishes that are based in misogyny, homophobia or racism

[happyzyx]

zhang yixing for basic stardom magazine, 21st issue 2023 – interview transcription

THE DREAMER FROM CHANGSHA: An Interview with Chinese Rapper and Performer Lay Zhang

Tagged the “King of China” by his fans in Asia, the highly-praised musician, dancer, actor, and author, Lay Zhang, is rising to glory as he continues to hone his craft and inspire the world with infinite ambition. Headlining MetaMoon last year, the inaugural New York-based music festival, as part of his first-ever solo global tour “Grand Line 2: Infinite Lands” and releasing into 2023 with a remarkable agenda.

While getting his start from the well known K-Pop boy group EXO, Zhang furthered his growth as an individual artist, accumulating over 70 million followers across all social media platforms and magnifying his career through evocative performances and stellar roles in both television and film. His captivating journey has not only forged him into an international superstar, but has also led him to become the highest-ranked Mando-pop star on the Billboard 200 chart in 2018, and the first Chinese artist to enter the iTunes Top 60 in the U.S. with his third solo album Namanana.

Q. You dove headfirst into the music industry after enrolling in the Star Academy talent show in 2005, where you unexpectedly became a finalist in the series. While you never thought you’d ever become an artist, what changed for you during this time in your life?

ZYX. While Star Academy, I was critiqued a few times on stage for not being professional enough. Hearing that gave me the motivation to prove them wrong and become better in all aspects. I like proving people wrong. It’s a good challenge. At the time, I wanted to prove to the judges and fans that I could be better. Becoming the artist I am today wasn’t what I originally had in mind. Looking back, I think I became an artist as I started to improve on my weaknesses. It was not a conscious choice, but rather the desire to prove that I could be better and show everyone that I could be professional.

Q. In 2008, you trained as a performer in South Korea, eventually debuting as a part of the K-pop group EXO. Talk to us about your journey and how you ended up here and now.

ZYX. Going to Korea and leaving both my hometown Changsha and my mother was scary. There were hours and hours of training in a completely foreign environment. Sometimes, after training, I would go downstairs to the practice room and learn how to produce music. It was unusual for a trainee to be that interested in producing music and I was not very good at it. Becoming a dancer for SHINee was a huge milestone for me. It showed me that I was on the right path. Then, when I made it into EXO, I was overjoyed. In the early days, we traveled a lot between China, Japan, and South Korea. There were a lot of happy memories going into the studio and practicing new songs with my members, but nothing could compare to performing with them live. I felt, and still feel, so proud to be an EXO member and to see everything that we accomplished together. When I started doing more solo activities, I found it challenging. All of a sudden I had to do things alone and without my members by my side. It was hard, but it made me grow and helped me to become the person I am today. Now, my schedule is always filled with commercial shoots, television shows, variety shows, recording music, and trying to be an entrepreneur.

Q. After 10 years with EXO, you finally decided to focus on your solo career. How did your experiences with EXO and in South Korea influence the artist, dancer, and businessman you are today?

ZYX. My brothers in EXO gave me so much strength and motivation to become the best artist and person I could be. I did a lot of training in Korea. While it was tough, it gave me the skills I needed to become an artist and dancer that I am today. I reflect on those days often when I help train my trainees. I want to make sure I give them everything I had and more. I met a lot of talented people who took the time to explain things and trained me. I have deep gratitude for that time in my life.

Q. How did you discover your individual sound and personal brand since venturing out on your own? Who and/or what have been some of your most prominent influences?

ZYX. I’m not sure that I have found my sound yet. I like making music and performing. I would love to spend all of my time on stage and in the studio, but I think it’s the same with my brand, where I’m still experimenting and in the process of discovering it. Now that I’m over 30, I have to figure out who I want to be in the next decade. In the past, I’ve taken inspiration from people who have been able to dance, sing, and perform. I also appreciate people who are kind and hardworking.

Q. Sharing your culture with the world is incredibly important to you. Talk to us about the process of merging languages, as well as Eastern and Western influences into your music.

ZYX. I am blessed to have many talented musician friends around the world. Normally, I’ll work with a producer and songwriter in Los Angeles. I’ll have about a week of song camp sessions where we are locked in the studio from noon to midnight. We’ll spend time making music, vibing and dancing nonstop. I also learn a lot of English and we eat a lot of cookies during these sessions. Once we’re done, I’ll take the recording back to China and talk to my team and other creative friends about how we can incorporate Chinese instruments and stories into the music.

Q. How does it feel to be named the “King of China” by your fans and community?

ZYX. I don’t know if I’m the “King of China”. That’s a strong statement. I am just Lay Zhang from Changsha, China. I am a man who loves the people of his country and making music. For me, music is my arena where I get to challenge myself and others. I want to experiment and make better music. Sometimes, I’m down to “battle” people when it comes to music, but it’s always in good spirits and fun.

Q. You are in the process of making new music to be released this year. Talk to us about your creative process. Is there something you do to get into a creative state of mind?

ZYX. Music gets me excited and making music gets me even more excited. I’m always looking for a reason to get into the studio. I don’t really need to put myself in a creative state of mind. I wait all day, sometimes weeks, to get into the studio and explore my ideas. and if I can’t wait any longer, I’ll just pull out my laptop and start making beats whenever I am. I always enjoy testing out my ideas and making music feels like the most natural medium for me to express them right now.

Q. How do you think your music is being experienced by others?

ZYX. I hope people are happy when they listen to my music. When they play songs like “Veil”, I hope they are dancing in a room with their friends and having a good time. I live seeing people so covers and reacting to my music in different ways.

Q. What kind of impact do you hope to achieve through your artistry and career as a whole?

ZYX. I hope that I can inspire to not only go after their dreams, but to also give it their all as they pursue them. Dreams are precious and beautiful. I want people to treat their dreams with the most respect. Respecting your own dreams will make them come true.

Q. In what ways do you ensure you are continuously evolving, both as an artist and the person you are away from the public eye?

ZYX. I have many teachers, mentors, and staff who give me a lot of advice. They’ll tell me the ways in which they think I should work on my vocals or how to handle certain meetings. I always want the people around me to be honest—all facts, no cap. If I’m not good, let me know so that I can get better.

Q. What message would you like to send to the world about who you are and what you stand for?

ZYX. Hi, it’s Lay. I’m a dreamer who hopes that everyone can achieve their dreams in this lifetime.

Q. Can you tell us about a project or piece of work that you’re particularly proud of?

ZYX. I live all my projects like they are my children. No child is better than the other and they all came at important stages of my life. My most recent project was West, and this was fun to release because “Veil”, the title song of the EP, was made almost five years ago, back in 2018. I normally make my records at least a year in advance, so it was great to hear “Veil” again. When I discussed it with my team, we all knew it needed to finally come out. With West, I even made “3 Wishes” on Zoom. We were in little boxes waving to each other and just hoping the internet was good enough so that we could hear all the sounds being made. Then, we’d go offline, do our own parts, and send them. There were times when someone would get knocked offline and then we’d have to wait even longer. The making of West was very fun and different project.

Q. How do you handle creative blocks or moments of self-doubt?

ZYX. To be honest, I don’t have many creative blocks, but that is probably because I’m constantly learning and doing something different. Self-doubt is tough, but I’m always reminded of all the people I have around me who depend on me. I also think about my fans who have supported me this entire time. It gives me the power to know I can’t let them down.

Q&A

Q. Who is your favorite designer?

ZYX. Pier Paolo Piccioli. He has been just a dear friend to me.

Q. What are the last three songs you played?

ZYX. “3 Wishes” by LAY, an unreleased demo I’ve been working on, and “God’s Plan” by Drake.

Q. How would you describe yourself in five words or less?

ZYX. Artistic, determined, passionate, a dreamer, and serious.

Q. What is the most challenging aspects of being and artist of your stature?

ZYX. There is a lot to do. My schedule has always been packed and full of activities. It’s a good thing because it means people still like me and want to see me. As I get older, I know I’ll get less popular, and fewer people will care about my music and career. It’s a big scary to be totally honest. It’s something that I will have to learn to deal with.

Q. What would be doing right now, if it wasn’t for your music career?

ZYX. If I wasn’t an artist today, I would probably be a music teacher. I would definitely still be doing something related to music.

Q. Who would you most like to collaborate with?

ZYX. I want to work with people who are innovating and pushing themselves creatively. I feel so inspired by people who are able to produce, write and sing. I really aspire to work with open-minded people.

Words by KIMBERLY HADDAD

©小羊扛起霸王龙就跑

#zhang yixing #yixing #lay #exo #basic stardom #text #long post

[demonfox38]

Completed - Wild ARMs

Man, it really gives the whole plot away to know that Zepet is supposed to be translated as Geppetto. 😅

I was having another indecisive spat on what to play this June, as I wasn't in the mood to play anything in particular. (Decision fatigue gets real bad when you have literally 281 games left to beat between Steam and physical copies. Shit, that's not even getting into mini consoles…) After tossing up another poll online, the series winner for this month turned out to be "Wild ARMs." Now, I've got one mutual that is pretty sweet on "Wild ARMs 3" in particular, but I didn't want to jump right to that, as I know how it can go when you start a series further down the line, then go back in time. Features get rolled back; content gets rougher. (Well, in a world where things are always improving, that's how it goes, anyway.) So, to get a fresh taste of this series, I started with its primary release.

"Wild ARMs" (not to be confused with "Wild Guns") follows the adventures of three travelers seeking to restore life to their dying world via the help of ancient guardians, magic, and technology—at least, when it isn't trying to actively kill them. Standard RPG plot, right? The major twist here revolves around the use of iconography from the American Old West to create a whole new world and set of combat and exploration systems. Does it work? Well…it's weird to see castles and princesses in a story taking aesthetics from the distinctly anti-monarchical United States, but honestly, we're also responsible for the Disney Princess subculture. So, maybe it's not as weird of a mix as it initially seems.

This game is like every RPG and no RPG at all. Like, if you're long in the tooth with RPGs, you'll get it. Aesthetically, it's on par with contemporary titles like "Tales of Phantasia" and "Xenogears," particularly with the latter's mix of anime cutscenes, 2D sprites, and 3D battle models. ("Golden Sun" also shares a similar pseudo 3D model sprite appearance to this game, if you want some more distant connections.) Dungeon navigation and puzzle manipulation feel very "Sweet Home"/"Tales" RPG/"Paper Mario" adjacent, with each party member acquiring a set of tools to use in their environment to make their way forward. Most surprisingly to me, I kept getting this feeling of nostalgia that I have when I play "Tales of Symphonia." Like, yes, tropes get passed around like hot potatoes in this particular genre of games, but holy shit. When you have:

A boy getting kicked out of the starting village due to violence in which he was involved,

A girl struggling with the veneer and duties of her role,

A man hiding his past struggles with letting an important woman in his life down,

A woman obsessed with the magical technology from ancient ruins,

A collection of supernatural entities fighting alongside humans via summon gauges,

A set of four powerful individuals dictating the fate of the planet,

A subquest involving rebuilding a city through your donations,

A unicorn hidden in a lake that turns out to be a component for healing a serious ailment, and

A goddamn giant ass tower serving as the connective tissue between the planet and the heavens…

Like, I didn't do deep research, but I did give a 10 minute flip through MobyGames to see if there was any staff overlap between "Wild ARMs" and "Tales of Symphonia." Finding nobody crossing the lines there was surprising. Some kind of convergent evolution was going on there, I guess! Hell, maybe the only reason I'm fixating on this is because of how integral "Tales of Symphonia" was to my life, and how this felt more "Symphonia"-esque to me than its literal sequel/predecessor "Tales of Phantasia"…

The big unique feature of this game is its focus on ARMs management. No, that is not a typo! In this universe, ARMs stands for Ancient Relic Machines, which are a variety of firearms both realistic and futuristic in nature. Proper management of your ARM inventory can make or break the toughest of battles, so it's worth investing some serious cash (or Gella; weird name, I know) into your main character's weaponry. Upgradable statistics include the firearm's power, accuracy, and ammo capacity. While a handful stand out as particularly useful (given your progress in the story), it doesn’t hurt to upgrade everything.

Oh. By the way. You can make that very easy to do.

The same mutual that first brought this series to my attention also let me know about a super critical game-breaking bug. (Thanks again, @unwontedfemme!) Ya see, games from this era were mostly written up in a combination of pointer languages (C++, most likely) and assembly code. If you are not used to working with pointers, you can make a significant mistake. When fetching the value of a variable, you can accidentally pass the address of where the variable is instead of the value itself. Given that this is usually a large hex value, you can accidentally max out or overflow a variable. I suspect the following bug is a result of that behavior.

In "Wild ARMs"', you can cause an item count max-out to happen by doing the following:

Secure Nx2 Heal Berries (where N is greater than 1), an item you want to duplicate with a stock of 1, and three active teammates.

Get in a battle.

Have Teammate 1 (Rudy) heal themselves.

Have Teammate 2 (Jack) heal themselves.

Have Teammate 3 (Cecilia) swap the inventory position of the Heal Berry and the item you want to duplicate, then back out of the inventory window and attack an enemy.

If you finish the round without exiting the battle, then the second item will duplicate itself to a maximum inventory value of 255, well exceeding the intended stock limit of 99. Chaining this bug can result not only in a shitton of items (and money, if you sell 254 of them off), but this can also aid the player in maxing out character stats and spell slots, as well as helping one character reduce his skills' MP costs all to 1 a piece. Like, damn, right? It's not as easy to do as, let's say, the card swap trick from "Castlevania: Circle of the Moon." But, damned if that doesn't save time grinding! (Although, honestly, I wouldn't recommend stat boosting too much. Don't want to lock yourself out of this method, do you?)

Like, okay. "Final Fantasy VII" had a similar item duplication bug. However, being able to do this from, like, two hours in gives this cheese some extra flavor.

You might be able to make yourself a walking tank in battle, but handling your characters' toolsets may be the metric that culls the wheat from the chaff. I could see a lot of people giving up before the credits hit due to a surprise stealth section with wonky speed boosts. Additional punishing tasks can include finicky positioning with grappling hooks, false item pickups, environmental damage, hidden insta-ejects from the dungeon, and time countdowns to escape certain doom, sometimes even paired with optional (and possibly missable) content. The most excruciating challenges are definitely in optional dungeons, but it's still irksome enough to mention. I probably would have had far less patience with the game had I not been playing it through a locally burned ISO and SwanStation.

Sometimes, I just don't want to drag my PS1/2 out of the basement.

For me, the most troublesome part of handling "Wild ARMs" was getting a grip on Filgaia itself. It definitely doesn't help that the game is bouncing you around from place to place, throwing in random teleporters before you even get a ship. Good luck navigating after that!

Like, look at this in-game map:

Tell me how this is helping you locate anything.

It should probably be noted that several proper nouns and names aren't translated the best here, either. Like, the game's text didn't fall into major grammatical traps until the end of the game. However, some poor translator was having a hell of a time working katakana into English. Several character and demon names were mangled in translation, including a significant chunk of the main cast. Particular offenses were translating Siegfried into Zeikfried, Vambrace (as in, a character's last name and knight title) into Van Burace, demon Belial into Berial, and critical minor character Geppetto into Zepet. Although, to be honest, I kind of like the last one getting name mashed. It makes a particular plot twist regarding his closest main character acquaintance a little more shadowed…

Also, it's kind of fucked up to name Jewish constructs after demons, isn't it? Oops. At least the people and elements based on generalized Native American culture aren't egregiously executed. There are probably a few more war bonnets than is kosher, but that's about the worst that I (an average white girl) can pick up on. Considering they could have easily all been magical space elves or robot demons with this plot's cast, the citizens of Baskar Village are very tame. They're just practicing their own religion, keeping peace on their own island. Alright! Understandable. Definitely better than whatever the hell's going on in "Wild ARMs 2", from what I've heard…

Look. I'm not the person to come to regarding this subject. I want to come by that honestly. I'm just glad when I get something Western flavored out of Japan and don't have to side-eye J. M. Barrie or Walt Disney. Because, ya know…any misunderstanding there are the fault of people like me. The least I can do is try to keep an open eye/mind/heart and let other people know if/when something comes up.

I'm not responsible for this game ripping off Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstasy of Gold", though!

Jabs aside, this game genuinely does have good music. If you want a place to pick and choose some items, this YouTube playlist should get you on your way. Particular tracks of interest include:

Into the Wilderness (the main theme)

Alone in the World

Town

After the Chaos and Destruction

Kishum Flame (teleporter theme)

Courage (Dungeon)

Critical Hit! (the main battle theme)

Wh-What (Zed's Theme, which sounds a bit like something from a "Ganbare Goemon" game)

Lamenting and a Promes;The Demon Tower that Pierces the Heavens; Return to Ashes (vocal arrangements!)

To the Sea of Stars

Holy Mother of Darkness

Morning of the Journey (orchestra arrangement of the main theme)

Honestly, I'm surprised at how thorough this soundtrack is, plagiarism incident aside. It does a better job than the visuals do at meshing the east-meets-west dynamic "Wild ARMs" has going for it. I can't be as glowing about some of the special effects sounds (especially on some of Jack's skills), but the music is solid.

Also? I found myself stopping to take screenshots of several enemies throughout the game. A lot of the enemies are striking. Like, okay. Sometimes, they're just caterpillars and mushrooms. Other times, they're disembodied heads with jagged fangs, bloated demons, delightful clowns, congealed corpses, decapitated soldiers riding chariots, or even spider-legged centaurs. Weird and gruesome? Sure. But, I always appreciate something weird coming after me, even if it's a unicorn with a dog's jaw and a crow's tail. And hell! They found some way to work in a kitsune into a Yeehaw RPG. That has to be worth something!

"Wild ARMs" is a special kind of game. I knew I was in for something good when the game managed to pull a credit drop in the middle of a goddamn funeral march. It is everything I am familiar with, sure, but the emotional beats worked well for me. Of critical note, I didn't feel the need to rush through the game. I was willing to give this game its time, even if I had 280 other games squirming around in the backlog. I can't say every plot point was executed perfectly, but I was sated by the experience. For 30 hours? That's downright economical, as far as an RPG goes.

I'm a little bit baffled as to why this game doesn't seem to have a lot of online groundswell for it. Like, I'm not completely confused. This poor bastard was a sprite-based RPG released in 1997 on the PlayStation. Guess what other game may have been getting more attention. I wonder if the genre flavor may have been off-putting as well. For a long time, Westerns were very out of style for people my generation. Even now, people are going to gravitate more towards a fast-paced shooter rather than an RPG to treat a cowboy itch. I guess those answers are simple enough. Still, it feels shallow.

Oh, well. At least it got to have five games. And a remake, even! That's at least par to the "Breath of Fire" series. Maybe it’s not the best comparison in the world to make, but I'm assuming people at least remember "Breath of Fire" games. And it ended up on the PlayStation Classic, of all things! I mean, that's about as prestigious as being on a doorstop, but it's some kind of accolade. Not even "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" is on that, and that's one of the most wonderful, beautiful games to ever exist on any console.

If you are a junky for retro RPGs, this game is certainly worth your time! It's efficient and effective with its runtime, managing to meld new ideas and old tropes into its own stew. I'm honestly surprised with how much I enjoyed it. It could be some "Tales of Symphonia" wires crossing over in my head, but hell. It's nice to know there are still gems buried out there. 

#post game evaluation #Wild ARMs

[etaleah]

My Wish List for a Sonic Adventure 2 Remaster

I was recently able to play this game again and now I have a lot of thoughts on how it could be improved if we’re ever lucky enough to get a remaster of it:

Updated graphics.

Improved sound editing/audio quality so the characters aren’t talking over each other or drowned out by the music.

Subtitles for in-game dialogue in addition to the cutscenes.

An extra Shadow stage since he has the least of all the main characters. The easiest place to add one would be at Prison Island where he’s setting Eggman’s detonator.

A Chao garden that changes with the time of day and time of year so that it could be nighttime, winter, autumn, etc. This might not be possible for the Hero and Dark gardens since they have more specific aesthetics, but it could definitely be done for the Neutral garden.

Treasure hunting stages that don’t make you want to rage quit. They should be smaller with hints that actually make sense and a radar that glows whenever you’re near any treasure, not just the “right” treasure.

Extra details on Shadow’s backstory and what happened to him once he got to Earth.

Kart racing that’s similar to Team Sonic Racing in its design and handling, with customizable cars and more diverse, colorful courses. Throw in some customizable motorcycles too just for the fun of it.

Add Amy, Cream, Big, Chao/Omochao, the Chaotix, and Metal Sonic to the kart racing and/or multiplayer options.

Give Amy her own stage and have her be more active in the story while keeping the same role. Instead of tagging along uselessly to Prison Island while Tails does all the work, have her hammering some robots while Tails shoots open a door, maybe with the player alternating between the two characters in the same stage like the setup in Sonic Heroes. Have her actively searching for information on Shadow while everyone else is off doing the Cannon’s Core thing. She can learn about his tampered memories and make the deliberate choice to help him remember his promise to Maria rather than having that be a lucky accident that conveniently happens exactly when the plot needs it to. You could even add a stage here where she’s going through the Ark to find Shadow and has to hammer her way through some robots to get to him.

An online option where you can visit other peoples’ Chao gardens and do multiplayer with other gamers around the world.

A more generous (or at least, more transparent) grading system where the player knows what they need to do to get an A instead of having to guess or google it.

More stuff to do in the Chao garden, like building your Chao a house or playground or planting flowers for them. If I’m being honest, I really just want an Animal Crossing/Sonic the Hedgehog mashup and this seems like the perfect opportunity for that.

Have the rings follow the setup that’s present in Shadow the Hedgehog, where you only lose 10 at a time instead of losing all of them and only being able to get back 20.

#might add more if I think of any #but this would go a long way toward making it a perfect game #sonic adventure 2 #sa2b #sonic adventure 2 battle #video games #my thoughts #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #chao garden

[evelhak]

KnB 30-day challenge

14. Favourite Member of Kaijo

Kise: I won!!!!

Me: By default since I don't really care about any of the other characters at all.

Kise: Oh...

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Jokes aside, I do like Kise a lot. He is also spectacularly annoying. But also in a way that is sort of endearing to me, because it reminds me of my sister a lot... It's this specific way of communicating where the person leaves the responsibility of interpreting how serious they are, to the other person, because nearly everything they say is delivered with this "I might be joking or I might be serious" kind of demeanor. That drives me nuts. That's like a special kind of poison to an autistic person, especially since I tend to default to seriousness. So, watching Kise has me sighing and rolling my eyes a lot.

Also the way eeeverything just haaaas to be a show. Reminds me so much of my sister too. Like, can you people even enter a room in a normal way sometimes? Yes, alright, you're funny in the right time and place, but. People will love you even if you're not constantly performing. I daresay they will love you more. I guess this is also special kind of taxing for me, because it's just unnecessary sensory information I have to process and my tolerance is limited so it's not nice when someone overwhelms me with things that are not necessary, and I have to sort out the relevant information from the mess. I get that this makes communication more stimulating for some people but for me it actively prevents me from communicating well, so, it's an unfortunate clash of needs.

I may not be doing a very good job at convincing you I like Kise right now, but I do. He's genuinely heartwarming and I think his character arc speaks for itself. Also when you see a pattern in a character that reminds you of someone you love deeply, those annoying things somehow turn into positives, because the person who they remind you of is lovable to you with all of their annoying quirks? So, in a sense you love that character because they're annoying and not despite of it? You actually end up enjoying being annoyed by them? Does that make sense?

Kise is also sympathetic to me because I grew up right next to so many popular people, seeing how their life is far from the glory jealous people always thought it was, so while I love to troll Kise in my fics, because he's just so trollable I can't resist, I also want to give room for his insecurities and further growth. I also like to write him, because I think there are many things Kuroko can learn from him if he stops resisting it. I personally understand why Kise's way of expressing himself slows down that process with someone like Kuroko but I would really like to see them improve their communication beyond what canon did. I would like to see Kuroko ask and accept direct help from Kise in some things and I would also like to see Kise resist the urge to turn it into a personal show. I think they could have a lot more fun together if both got a little bit more over themselves.

I have really fun plans for Kise in my stories, actually I'm just about to write him in a much bigger role than I have until now, so that's gonna be interesting, and I think it will overall highlight the best aspects of his character and his growth.

#knb #30 day challenge #favourite member of kaijo #kise

[isabilightwood]

5-4-3-2-1 Fic retrospective + resolutions!

Tagged by @wrecklwj Thank you! ��💜

Post the following: 

top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular, and non-ao3 works count!)

your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written in 2022! 

Tagging @spookykingdomstarlight @fapamir @rubberduckieassassin @tapiokay @habibinasir and anyone who wants to participate 🥰

My answers below the cut!

Top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022

1. sweet beneath sharp edges - (CQL/MDZS) Light horror murder mystery monsterfucking rom com in jazz age Shanghai. This one was, ngl, very difficult to pull off. It took a lot of research, less on broader history of China in that period (which I was familiar with) but the details, like had flash bulbs and washing machines been invented yet? What flowers and fruits and vegetables should be growing at that time of year? And I think the result was pretty fun! 2. inevitable everything - (CQL) Pretend war prize but the self-arranged marriage is real. Wangxian can admit their attraction to each other, but not their feelings. Cue the pining while fucking (+ Plot). I'm happy with how it turned out -- I felt like the characters' emotions landed where I wanted them to and writing a 194k fic in a year was just a big accomplishment in general (one that I will not be repeating this year for my own sanity 😅) 3. doing the wrong thing wholeheartedly - (CQL/MDZS) modern cultivation with rivals to lovers and truly wacky worldbuilding decisions about dragons. This fic made me feel positively gleeful while writing it -- there's really something to be said for writing specifically to an audience of yourself! 4. something wicked - (CQL/MDZS) modern with magic coffee shop au. WWX's a witch who helps the living sort out their lives and the dead move on, LWJ's just been turned into a talking bunny. The curse can only be broken by True Love's Kiss -- but they're both convinced they've just been rejected. I actually struggled a lot with this one, sat on it for months, begged help from @/luckymarrow before I felt comfortable releasing it. I like the final version quite a bit, and it really seems to have made people happy, which is always my goal

5. red strings and eager hands - (MDZS/CQL) canon divergence where WWX believes LWJ has betrayed him, and LWJ responds by stripping. Written for jing's gorgeous art! It was a bit of a challenge to write LWJ's feelings during the smut, and that was very much a good thing for my writing! This was another one that was a lot of fun to write and I love the outcome!

Top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

I only have 2 active WIPs right now but --

YLLZ!Wen Qing! This one's been living in my head for over a year, slowly growing from an initial idea Wen Qing with ghost girls to vague concept of what if JGS and WRH's roles were swapped and the Jiang were allied with the Jin to mostly outlined with 10k on the page. I'm very excited to write Wangxian in a secret relationship that puts WWX in an impossible position re: saving the Jiang siblings, an angsty slow burn for Wen Qing and Mianmian, and some very creepy monsters

My Bottomji Big Bang fic! Which I cannot talk about, but will be very in line with my typical nonsense 😆

I have thoughts on a something wicked prequel about Wangxian becoming friends when LWJ could newly see ghosts. They are just thoughts so far

A something wicked where WWX is trying to help a pair of starcrossed lovers get together, and LWJ is just trying to get railed on their anniversary. This is also just thoughts

Top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

Atmosphere - particularly in sweet beneath sharp edges, which was a bit of a stylistic challenge

Visual detail - I feel like I've improved on how I describe settings, appearance, etc and choosing when to do so with less disruption of the flow of the story

Smut - I've written a lot more variety in my smut scenes in 2022 and (I think) gotten better at getting them to flow

Top 2 resolutions

Take my next long fic at a slower pace instead of pushing myself to complete it. 2022 was busy, but 2023 is likely to be even more so and I don't want to burn myself out over something I do for fun

Write what makes me happy!

Number 1 favorite line you’ve written in 2022!

I was seduced by music and conversation and kindness in the sunlight.

[neurotypical-sonic]

imo they should have just made Tom a generic social worker who lives in a town where no one has any "real" problems that social workers deal with. His arc could have been about him thinking that he wasn't making any real difference in Green Hill but then realizing he was improving people's lives in a myriad of small ways and that mattered too. Also would make him basically adopting Sonic actually feel heartwarming beyond "guess this kid lives with me now"

I don't know a ton about social workers so i cant fully commit to this statement, but from what I know the whole industry is shit. I haven't had much experiences with actual social workers, but I've heard things from other people and also the way uh. I can't think of the name but the highschool councillors who are trained to take on that role. Her whole job was to support students outside of academia. My experiences with them have been absolute shit and they not only judged my family for being mentally ill they actively made it worse and helped spread rumours ahdjd

I've also had a support worker once, fairly recently actually, and I won't go into detail but even though I'm supposed to have one I never want to do that again

I think its another "there are good people in this industry who do genuinely want to help but on the whole it's rotten and corrupted" and tom would want to be one of those people, who actually want to make a different, but he'll always be limited in what he can do and have to uphold harmful rules and policies. He HAS helped people through this before but that doesn't change everything else. ALSO once again the idea that small rural towns automatically have smaller problems.

If they were to do something like that then I'd want it to be "tom realises he's not actually helping, he's part of a bigger problem, so he leaves and tries to fight for what's right", in which case I'd prefer for him to do that about being a cop

#ONCE AGAIN just my thougjys i dont know shit #ask #hishighnesstheprincess #egg.txt

[lgcseojin]

✱  TRACK 010

— LGC SPRING BOYS: reflection

When it came down to offering a reflection, Seojin's tendency to joke, speak casually, and inability to take much seriously shifted completely. Even that strong Gyeongsang dialect of his retreated into something more formal and concise. He recalled Hyuncheol's words. The company dedicated a large amount of time and resources into this project and any trainee ( or debuted actor and model ) would be a fool to take it for granted. Perhaps the addition of a number of stressful situations in his personal life piled on top of his career choice finally culminated and nearly managed to crush him. When not among the other trainees, he simmered down in this formal setting.

"I wannaㅡ I want to start by commenting that I'm seriously thankful for being granted with the role of subleader. It's a huge responsibility, and I definitely didn't take it for granted. It did a lot to help me keep my head on my shoulders, and make sure the other members could do the same. I commented before, I want to be someone reliable... someone that the younger trainees can look up to and come to for advice or help without hesitation or feeling scared to speak up. When Akio and Baekhyun came to me for advice or Byeongkwan needed to regain focus, it's when I really felt like 'oh, so this is real'. It was a great opportunity for me to explore and I liked it a lot, especially seeing everyone do so well afterwards. It wasn't easy. It never is dealing with other people, different views and working methods. But that conflict or those confrontations of where we could just strive to be better are necessary for us to work as a cohesive unit. A team... and the result just makes me beam with pride. It made me think that I could continue in a role like this. So, for that, I'm incredibly grateful that I got to do so... and I hope I did well helping Sanghyun out with his own larger role overall. I think we worked well together and he looked after me, too, when things were getting tough. There's still a lot I can improve and learn from."

He continued on with his reflection; albeit it was now teetering on a ramble. "I really enjoyed getting to know more of the guys and there were a lot of opportunities to. It got a little chaotic there but nothing I can't handle, right? I was also glad to see Jaesun and Yeonwoo but this time as celebrities. Having known them both for a while, it was kinda surreal to see them on a show like this." A smile bloomed on his face. He found the classroom setting especially fun, a good practice for when he goes on Knowing Brothers someday. Whenever that could be. "I just wish I could have teased all of the hosts a bit more. I was having fun, even if I was getting the wrong answers but going to Everland is a pretty good deal. Oh, and Alex needs to work on his rock paper scissors skills." He shot a playful gesture of finger guns.

"The thing is, I'm very competitive, in the end. It probably came through during the most during laser tag." Seojin laughed, seemingly amused by his own actions during the activity. He certainly treated it with passion. "I really wanted to win and there's this huge part of me that is super satisfied that we did. I hope Tee is thankful that the team brought honor to his name. Corporal Park made a reappearance on the battlefield." He gave a firm salute at his temple. "Plus, the bamboo festival was really fun and I enjoyed catching fish. It was really beautiful. Also, I'm into carving lately... so I paid for some to take home to practice on."

"And. Ah... The performances, though. I can't forget to talk about that." He glanced off to the side, slowly breaking into a bashful grin. He clapped his hands together. "The songs! I think that they fit the theme of spring well. Upbeat and refreshing. I'm... Well, my image isn't exactly a 'fresh' one, to put it lightly. I had a hard time adapting to it, like usual. I guess I've got more of a tsundere image, as it's called? Something sharp and playful... but I was able to show that I'm not just restricted to one box and that I have the ability to be more versatile." He chuckled, and grimaced at the replay of his own image in his head. "Usually I'm not into such bright songs, though, since I feel I don't particularly fit them... I actually really liked Do It Like This. It looked really fun and I'd love to do a concept like that. My good friend Noeul was in that song, so I'm a bit jealous. That song and LO$ER=LO♡ER were by far my favorites despite not being in those units."

Seojin hummed in contemplation. He was uncertain whether or not he should be completely honest or if a more diplomatic wording would be proper route. "The only thing is, I wish I could have gotten to show my vocal skills more... I feel I haven't yet had the chance to display that to the public yet. That's the only thing that felt disappointing for me. So I can only hope to do so more in the future and show myself as a capable vocalist." He spoke with a gentle certainty, a sincere glint simmers in his eye and small upturn of his lips brighten his face. The assertive and animated Seojin had taken a break to calmly explain his perspective on something he possessed so much passion for.

"I'll end this off by saying... I know because of how many other members there are, it would be difficult to organize and schedule everything but the fans and company will be satisfied with the result. I'm just happy to be able to be here. I'm so grateful to have even been given the chance. Seriously."

#✱ ㅡ alone with my thoughts. ( solo ) #lgc:springboys #seojin rambling #mentioned a bunch of peeps!! #wrote this like a week ago but got too shy to post it until now... #sob

[musekicker]

I know it’s not December but a Christmas type drabble based off a picture I saw in the credits for the movie.

The holidays were something that even the bad guys crew had fun with the holidays. But not for the some of the same reasons most people who celebrated the holidays did. What they had loved about it was that people had so many items and money on them that was very easy to take when they were busy shopping and dealing with other shoppers.

But now that had changed. Being no longer bad guys there were no longer trips to the mall to take things from shoppers. That did not mean they would not be busy this year though. As part of trying to improve their image, all the of the former bad guys were doing holiday based charity activities.

Shark got what was easily the most important role for kids who celebrated Christmas. He would be Santa.

"How do I look?" Shark asked.

The Santa Claus costume was as classic as it got. The red suit with the white trim, the hat, the boots. And of course one of the most important features, the fluffy white fake beard. He was indeed a vision of Santa. Just with sharp teeth and a fin.

"Looks right to me." Wolf said.

"A Christmas greeting card come to life." Piranha said. 

"I didn't miss any details did I?" Shark asked.

That was a unusual question from Shark. He was the master of disguise after all. So he was good at the details and was very confident in that. Normally.

Tarantula, at her lap top helping to run both a emails from Santa and a charity web site that would help get gifts to kids from families that were poor, looked up from her work.

"Are you nervous?" Tarantula asked.

Shark sighed.

"Yeah, costumes are my thing and all but I'm still going to be interacting with kids. I've never really done that. And what if I mess it up somehow?" Shark said.

"You got this big guy." Wolf said. "Diane helped you prepare for this right?"

"I still can't help it. What if I scare the kids?" Shark asked.

"It's going to be fine. Think of it as a opposite heist. You know, having a plan but giving things instead of taking them." Wolf said.

Shark still was not convinced.

"And come on." Wolf said. "How bad can it get?"

It was only less then a hour in and Shark was not exactly having the best time. There were a lot more kids at the event then Shark realized there would be. And kids being kids, it was loud. 

There were questions from the kids. And though Shark had been prepped for this kind of thing he had stumbled on a few answers that while didn't ruin the illusion of Santa, made Shark feel like he was failing.

Of course there was the occasional child that wanted to pull at the fake beard. He had been warned about that ahead of time too, and was able to prevent the beard from getting pulled off and ruining Santa for a bunch of kids.

But the absolute worst thing was when some kids would take one look at him and cry. Shark was told by Diane that it was not anything personal at all. Some kids got scared by Santa. But Shark couldn't help but feel like those kids could see through his costume and see him for the scary looking shark he was.

Shark probably would had thought the whole day as a rough and bad day if not for one particular encounter.

The next child was a little girl, a backpack in the shape of a starfish on her back. She was certainly not at all afraid of Santa as she basically ran her way towards him. The woman behind her that was most likely her mother told her to not run. She slowed down but only a bit.

"Ho, ho, ho, hello little girl." Shark said, getting right back into the Santa role.

"It's Tina. But you already know that because your Santa." the little girl said.

"Of course. Though I do appreciate the reminder. So, then, what do you want for Christmas Tina?" Shark asked.

"I want a shark plushie!" Tina said.

Shark was caught a little off guard by the request, though he tried not to show it.

"You do? Most of the kids I've seen today asked for bear plushies." Shark said.

"Bears?!" Tina said, sounding just a bit aghast. "Have you seen what a bear can do? They can be scary too but no one ever thinks bear plushies are a weird animal to make toys of."

"She watches a lot of animal documentaries." Tina's mother said.

"Ah." Shark said. "Is studying animals what you want to do when you grow up?"

"Yes, I want to be a marine biologist." Tina said.

"I see. Well, I'm sure you will be one day. And I'll see what I can do about that Shark plushie." Shark said.

"What do we say Tina?" Tina's mother said.

"Thank you Santa." Tina said.

Then the child was off, running towards another woman that Shark realized was Tina's mother too.

"Is she getting a shark plushie for Christmas?" Shark whispered to the mother that was close still.

"Oh yes. The biggest one we could find." the mother said.

"Good." Shark said.

After that encounter it seemed like the rest of day was a breeze. Maybe it was because he finally found his groove as Santa. Or he just felt better knowing that if one person out there was not afraid of sharks, maybe that meant maybe there would be more people in the future that would easily accept a scary looking shark like him.

#the bad guys #the bad guys spoilers

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

ik this is gonna kinda be an everyone-is-different situation but how do you cope w "what if no one sees me as a man dysphoria"? ive been struggling rlly bad w that tonight n i rlly didnt know who else to ask so im sorry if im overstepping boundaries or anything- and ofc dont at all feel obligated to ask!! i hope youre having a great day🤍🤍

I got a general ask here about tips for dysphoria.

But what you're asking seems to be more about the mental health side of things. Which is such a struggle I know. I can't say I've always dealt with it in healthy ways or in ways I'm proud of. But it's been a while since I was really depressed and mental health wise I'm doing way better. So most of my advice will be from things I found useful in my past. My memory might not be the best tho.

Some general easy things I found that can help:

-write it out. I can't stress how much holding in the anxiety and depression thoughts about "whether I'm a real man/women" can tear you apart. It's good to get it out of your system.

-likewise, talking to someone can help.

-if you're afraid you might harm yourself then don't let yourself be alone. You don't have to talk to someone or do anything with them. Just be in the same room. I know you don't want to be around anyone in that moment. But you're less likely to hurt yourself if someone is in the same room. Bonus points if it's someone who accepts you, but it's not necessary.

-therapy is always a good option. Finding someone that specializes or has other transgender patients.

-redirect your thoughts. "What if no one sees me as a man?" -> "What if they don't see me as a man YET?" Adding a yet can help a lot. Just because you're not there right now, doesn't mean you'll never be. It's similar to how saying "I want to take a nap" instead of "I want to kill myself" has been shown to improve people's self confidence. You can't just magically stop your brain from making those thoughts, but you can change the sentence to something more optimistic or mild.

-Distraction. Distraction. Distraction. When the thoughts as so intense that you can't handle it, sometimes it's best to just distract yourself until they've calmed down. Then you can address things. Whether that's what you need in a current moment will be up to you to decide. But making a good list of things that you think could be good distractions can help. Ex, I like to act out scenes from the stories I write, look at weird houses on Zillow, play video games, anything that involves having to think and move in some way. Just sitting and watching TV isn't engaging enough, and going on a run still lets my mind wonder. Those things aren't good for me in terms of distractions.

-meditation doesn't work well for me, but I've seen it work extremely well for others.

-make something. Bake something, cook something, design something with play dough. Being able to stand back and see something you've done is a good feeling to push the bad feels outta the way.

-do an activity you find gender affirming. Do you find using power tools to make you feel more masculine? Then go use some. (Gender roles are stupid and dumb, but so long as the exist you might as well use them to help you feel better about your actual gender).

-mantra line up with meditation and can help too. These are sentences or words you tell yourself regularly. And then you can use them when you're feeling especially bad to help lift your mood.

Hopefully at least one of those things can help you. Like I said, it's been a while since dysphoria has really hit me that badly. But things do get better. It's a tough place to be in I know. But there is a future for you where you will be seen for who you really are.

#answered #ask #not discourse #advice #transgender advice

[bitterpainting]

🧑‍🍼 - How do they feel about kids? - 💤 - What do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep? - 💖 - How and how often do they try to impress their partner(s)? How and how often do their partner(s) impress them?

How do they feel about kids?

I love kids, honestly. I'll be the first to admit I've got a soft spot and an over-active maternal instinct. I would level cities for my daughter and I'll fiercely defend any child who needs help.

What do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep?

I can't sleep without someone nearby. At least, I can't stay asleep. I'll fall asleep regardless of whether I want to or not after a while. Anyone would. Kieviel fills that role right now. They hold me when the nightmares are the worst.

How and how often do they try to impress their partner(s)?

Very frequently, actually.

I don't really have a clear idea on how to impress Silva. She enjoys my paintings, but I don't think she's ever been Impressed. Failure hasn't stopped me from trying.

Kieviel I feel I have a better grasp on how to impress. I always do my best work when trying to impress them, out of a need to improve on my last attempt. I think making backdrops for their dioramas are the closest I've ever gotten to hearing them say "I love you".

How and how often do their partner(s) impress them?

Not very often, I think.

Silva I think is largely unintentional in her "attempts to impress". There's been a few things that she's made for me that have genuinely stunned me and I make sure she's very aware of how thankful I am.

I think Kieviel tries to be unintentional or, at the very least, tries to not make the attempt noticeable. If not for how long I spend in the diorama room looking at their creations, I think I would easily miss when they add something like a miniature of our family to something. My favourite was a recreation of our wedding. A small, quiet affair.

#questions #family #silvabullets