#I think I’m 14 in the first pic lol but whatever
From 12 years old and falling hopelessly in love with the stories in Fearless, to 23 and loving my own ✨✨ so excited to relive this album as an adult
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This Has Been Absolutely Lovely — Jessica Dettman
Page 1: “telling her how proud he had been of her; that he’d had a good innings.” —> Innings?
Page 2: “They would describe her lack of makeup and her fresh=faced beauty, and mention that she ordered tea and not coffee. How could someone so brilliant and successful be so warm and unguarded? the journalists would write.” —> Oh lord.
Page 3: Ugh this dialogue from Naomi about grief and auras is questionable, both in terms of content and in quality.
Page 8: Wow, a character who has “smooth olive skin,” how original.
Page 9: “and she lived what Annie could only describe as a hand-to-mouth existence as a freelance masseuse in Byron Bay. Annie was only mostly sure that wasn’t a euphemism for sex work.” —> Lol.
Page 14: “and Molly had attended enough funerals to have observed the inverse correlation between the age of the deceased and the quality of the food.” —> Lol this is probably true.
Page 20: Hm, I’m gonna make this prediction now. Annie and Paul are Molly’s parents, right, but I’ll bet that Brian is actually Molly’s real biological dad, and the name Love Triangle serves as foreshadowing to that.
Page 22: “The baby kicked again. It had an uncanny ability to jolt Molly whenever her thoughts wandered somewhere she’d rather they didn’t.” —> I feel like this also might be important later in the book.
Page 23: “The building was named Maralinga, after the smaller 1930s red-brick block of flats it had replaced, and it had occurred to no one, apparently, that perhaps that name was no longer appropriate.” —> Gonna have to look this up, I guess, because I don’t understand.
Page 27: “Molly hadn’t seen her like that for years. She hoped she wasn’t having some sort of breakdown. That would not be convenient at all.” —> Molly is so self-centered. She’s only saying that because she wants her mom, Annie, to take care of her future baby, not out of any real concern. She does sound so immature and not focused and so not ready to have a child.
Page 29: Oh. Wow. So Paul ran off with Brian when Paul and Annie were still married. That’s the Love Triangle here. I did not expect that at all.
Page 31: “The cabinetry was all dark wood veneer, with metallic filigree handles that hooked themselves into passing beltloops like the fingers of a pre-#MeToo boss” —> Oh yikes. This is cringey.
Page 41: Wait. Who is Jean?
Page 41: Oh wait. Jean and Robert are Annie’s parents? Is that right?
Page 47: When did Eurovision even start, if they had a hit song in it in 1983? Update: Wikipedia says 1956.
Page 58: I’ve never even heard of something called concrete cancer. I thought Suzanne was just being dramatic.
Page 73: “‘You can all stay,’ said Annie. ‘It’s a huge house. There’s plenty of room. We’ll all have a good time,’ she added, but her attempt to sound calming came off like a stage hypnotist faced with a room of unbelievers. ‘It’ll be absolutely lovely.’” —> Uh oh. Title reference. Which means you know it will not be absolutely lovely at all.
Page 74: Currawong: one of three species of medium sized passerine birds, whatever that means. They kind of look like a cross between magpies and crows.
Page 74: “She had sailed past the years where premature aging was a concern. Any aging from here on was entirely right and correct.” —> This is how I feel too. Even now, I’m like, whatever, it’s just how I look. I’m not going to try to resist aging.
Page 76: Is an A380 the typical plane that flies to Australia or something? Why have two recent Australian artists that I know mentioned A380s in their writing?
Page 79: “She’d visited them every so often, and now they were six, and more like actual people with ideas and jokes and opinions, she enjoyed seeing them. She liked being an occasional presence in their life, rather than a default extra parent, the kind so many of her friends were finding themselves to be.” —> Oh no.
Page 79: “All these wonderful women, who had worked and raised families, supported husbands and each other and their own parents, now they were being asked to go back to work as unpaid nannies. And if they said no, they were made to feel like they didn’t care about their kids. The unfairness made Annie’s blood boil.” —> Oh noooo.
Page 84: Felix and Sunny both call their grandmother by her first name, and not grandma or nana or anything? Weird.
Page 87: I still get confused by these characters. Who is Diana? I know Felix and Sunny now but there is no description about them ever to indicate that they are children in the middle of an adult conversation.
Page 88: Oh, is Diana Simon’s wife? That fits the context here. But I still don’t know for sure.
Page 90: “She remembered being behind this garage with him before, his whole body pushing hers up against the fence as they kissed each other with the desperation that only virginity brings.” —> Lol.
Page 91: “All their songs had a minimum of two upward key changes and a bridge that could double as the opening theme to a sitcom.” —> Honestly sounds terrible.
Page 92: Pash: Australian or New Zealand slang for a passionate kiss.
Page 104: “She’d seen plenty of dick pics, but never a love letter.” —> Too real.
Page 108: “’Just because he did something wrong, once, doesn’t mean everything we knew about him was a lie.’” —> True. I agree. I don’t think him having an affair really changes anything. But I do agree that it’s the potential offspring that might be a conflict.
Page 113: Naomi sounds absolutely insufferable, barging her way into the house like this and annoying Patrick without even knowing him at all.
Page 118: “Since learning about Kegels from a pamphlet the midwife gave her, Molly constantly felt guilty for not doing them more. The repercussions could be catastrophic. From what she’d read, her whole person could fall out through her vagina after she gave birth if the pelvic ‘sling’ of tiny muscles wasn’t strong enough to hold everything above it in.” —> Yet another reason to never be pregnant and never give birth.
Page 124: “and the infamous Tetsuya Christmas, where everyone went hungry.” —> I don’t get it.
Page 124: Molly’s reaction here is fine, but I wish she had written about Molly’s reaction to Simon or vice vera. The two of them both know the forbidden knowledge, so show their mutual discomfort for the sudden turn of events.
Page 129: “That evening Annie’s children and grandchildren scattered to the furthest corners of the house, as was becoming their habit. For a family reunited for the first time in years, they were spending a remarkable amount of time trying to be away from each other.” —> Nah this sounds pretty standard to me.
Page 131: Oh no, who is Annie fucking. Or was that a bluff.
Page 133: Oh. Some younger guy from a dating app named Justin? Girl. Have some dignity.
Page 140: “’We’ll find you an open mike night.’” —> Ughhhh it’s not spelled like that! Stop it!
Page 145: Oh for fuck’s sake, now Annie’s fuckbuddy, Justin, is a real estate agent that thye’re all going to interact with? This is so soap opera and convoluted and not in an interesting, well-constructed way.
Page 148: “Annie watched Molly leave for work, walking haltingly down the street towards the bus stop. She was really at that lumbering stage now.” —> For fuck’s sake, she’s 37 weeks pregnant, of course she’s at the lumbering stage. My god, some of the sentences in this novel are so idiotic.
Page 150: “She took two slow deep breaths, but there was lava inside her. In a quiet voice, she said, ‘Where have you looked so far?’ Paul was confused. ‘Nowhere. I thought you’d know where it is.’” —> Relatable. Emotional labor at its worst. Just fucking make some effort before you ask insipid questions like this.
Page 152: Prediction: Molly’s going to give birth right now on this bus. Or sometime while she’s in the city.
Page 158: “’Old mate from school. You won’t remember him.’” —> Oh no. Oh noooo.
Page 161: “Annie raised her eyebrow at Justin, seeking his input on what to say next, and he shrugged. ‘Justin is the friend I went to see the other night. Remember, when I went out and you were watching Escape to the Country with Brian and Dad?’” —> Arhrhghgh this is killing me. I hate the way she writes. It’s so middle-school level to me.
Page 163: Yeah, I mean, all of these conversations with anyone in this book are so juvenile and so drawn-out. You don’t need to have them have an argument about which way south is. It’s not relevant. Don’t spend half the page having a conversation like that. I swear, it’s written like a middle school aspiring writer is just now learning how to write dialogue.
Page 178: Guess I need to look up the theme from All Creatures Great and Small.
Page 179: “Sometime during the fourth run-through of the song, Molly felt a strange popping sensation and wetness quickly soaked through her knickers.” —> I have yet to find a description of water breaking that is apparently accurate to what it actually feels like and relatable to me. This is a little bit better than most, but I would like more description, please.
Page 185: Okay but really, what the hell is Carols in the Domain? Google tells me it’s an annual Australian Christmas concert in the Domain Gardens in Sydney.
Page 186: “Even Petula Clark wasn’t really called Petula, he’d remind them—for goodness’ sake, her real name was Sally.” —> Really? I didn’t know that.
Page 188: Wow, so she’s really going to name her kid Petula. Okay.
Page 199: “She briefly considered dropping the Annie part too, and just appearing as Thorne. The androgynous sharpness of that appealed to her.” —> She should definitely do that. It would be way cooler.
Page 203: It was a transformation on a par with a librarian turning sexy by taking her hair down from its un and removing her spectacles.” —> Ugh miss me with this shit.
Page 209: She’s mentioned Susan Boyle, Dance Monkey…these are references that aren’t going to age well. No one will know what they mean in even a couple years. Hell, even mentioning something like Tik Tok might not even age well, with how fast technologies change.
Page 218: “It wasn’t looking good for a sunny Christmas Day.” —> I still have no idea when exactly all this is happening. Sometime in December, obviously. Molly said she was due on New Year’s Eve and then she had the baby three weeks early, so that helps. But there was all that talk about it being after Christmas, so I still don’t really know what’s happening.
Page 221: “Mousy and suburban: that’s how she had seen Jean. Sweet but old fashioned. Friendly, sociable, but not someone you could imagine having a really deep conversation with about anything. Mum had just been Mum.” —> Hm.
Page 222: “but like a rock climber, Annie found herself reaching out for any small handhold to help drag herself up the cliff face.” —> Bad simile. Because if you remove the clause “like a rock climber” you’re still talking about rock climbing. The entire rock climbing comparison needs to be its own clause in the sentence and you’re comparing what she’s doing to rock climbing, not acting like she’s literally rock climbing. So, bad writing.
Page 227: “But everything was going well now, wasn’t it? So why was she so serious all the time? He thought she’d be more relaxed.” —> Oh my fucking god, it’s been three days. Are you fucking serious. I’m asking that to both Jack as a character and Jessica Dettmann actually writing this shit.
Page 240: “She reminded Annie of the moo box toy the kids’d had when they were little” —> WHAT!? I guess this isn’t technically incorrect but it still looks so wrong written like that.
Page 247: “It had a name now, this constant effort expected of women to keep everything running, to keep all the plates spinning: the mental load. Jane had sent her a cartoon about it.” —> Lol I know exactly which cartoon she’s talking about.
Page 250: “First there was Heather. Heather knew. She had to. Didn’t she?” —> Lol you’re asking if Heather knew whether she fucked another man and had his baby? Uh, yeah.
Page 253: “but it was as if their news had been a gold-medal-winning dive from the ten-metre platform, so small were the ripples it created.” —-> This one is much better.
Page 258: “Heather stood abruptly. ‘This,’ she said, pointing at Patrick, ‘this is why I couldn’t stay. All this suburban drama.’” —> Lol that you created? Or at least didn’t help negate.
Page 260: Lol this is laughable. Too much is happening in this story. It’s not realistic.
Page 281: “Molly and Simon made sorrowful faces and too-bad sounds. Annie looked wildly at them.” —> Jesus Christ! They’re awful!
Page 281: “’That was dramatic,’ said Simon, making his eyes wide and clutching at imaginary pearls around his neck. ‘Is it The Change, do you reckon?’” —> Simon, you are such a goddamn asshole.
Page 300: “She’d wanted to ask them if it was as bad as she feared. But she knew they would lie. You couldn’t trust anyone to tell you the truth about having a baby, apparently. It was a huge conspiracy designed to entrap women, and once trapped every last one of them became complicit.” —> I don’t entirely disagree.
Page 314: “the timing was wrong. Two thirds of her children were not very well. She could not, in good conscience, turn away from them now.” —> Lol and what do you wanna bet that something will happen to Naomi too.
Page 325: “She cooked them plain pasta with cheese whenever they requested it, declared Milo a vegetable” —> Huh? Must be some Australian thing.
Page 326: Parry Gripp? Oh my fucking god. That is such a throwback.
Page 332: Oh god no, now this music agent can’t even talk to Annie because her damn grandkids screwed it up. Mind your own business, kids.
Page 343: Lol the woman this agent wants to perform Annie’s songs is literally named Juniper Wrenn. Wow.
Page 363: So it’s being book-ended by Annie’s musical career. It was sure a whole lot of wasted space and drama in between. Especially with Simon. And actually even with Patrick.
for the “nice asks” ask game! thank u cat for being an absolute savage and not allowing anyone else to ask HAHAHAAHAHAHAH this was v fun thank u :)
ok so you already know what i look like + i don’t have any good selfies i wanna share so let me bestow upon you this amazing art i did in ps [taken down]
02. what would you name your future kids?
ooh!! hmm i really like the names clementine, ellie, marceline, june, and probably some flower names i don’t remember right now. also alex, sam, felix, xavier, david, howell maybe???? idk most names i like are from media or games i like haha!
03. do you miss anyone?
YES omg my dearest friends !!! i talk to em online but i miss going to their house and hanging out and being dumb irl!!!! i’m glad they initiate conversations with me though because i mega suck at it qwq but also my bro because he lives in a different city now. also my cousins, i haven’t seen them in a long long time ugh qwq qwqwqwqwqwqw tbh i miss everyone when i think about em . sheesh
04. what are you looking forward to?
currently, tomorrow!! friday night hangouts with @outrowings are, how you say. POGGGG HHAAH but we’re gonna get married later tonight on minecraft anyways so we won’t be apart for that long HAHAHAHA
05. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
YEAH omg my lovely closest friends e.g. @/dweebazoids who sent me a hilarious ask yesterday LMFAODAFHASFKJA my bffl ... wifey uwu and other peeps in our friend group, and also best bro nitya ^^^^^ @/outrowings!!!!! because we share one braincell :)
06. is it hard for you to get over someone?
hm.......................................................................... hmm........................................................ idk how to answer this....................................... JHFSFHAFDSJHS i think i dwell on nostalgia a lot but i also know i do not feel strongly enough to make past memories happen. like i think abt past friendships that were honestly not even that like. strong but there were good times a lot???????? idk.. /has an existential crisis/
07. what was your life like last year?
really awesome in the beginning and then when covid happened i had like 10+ missing assignments but my teacher was cool about it and gave me 80% on all of them when i turned them in late but then the habit bled into big boi college........ but it was still a grand ol time HAHAHA
08. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
i literally cry like when i get really excited for 1 second watching a show i love so yeah probably. it’s the pisces sun
09. who did you last see in person?
outside of my parents, @/outrowings because she came to my house earlier today to pick up and drop off stuff, distanced ofc :))) hmm also we just facetimed. hmm what are we bro
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
i think i lean more heart on my sleeve than closed off, but i also feel like i can hide it well if i really want to!
11. are you listening to music right now?
as i type this out, i am listening to the unknown guest by dean (one of my fav dean songs!!!!!)
12. what is something you want right now?
FRIED CHICKEN OR THAI FOOD OMG my mom has been cooking a lot since covid and it’s been all good but I MISS GOING OUT AND PIGGING OUTTTT but maybe i’ll get it for my bday but i do not have the capacity to think that far ahead
13. how do you feel right now?
fucking great!!!! no friday classes so i’m free for the rest of the day, nitya gave me ginger beer and my hero academia shot glasses LMFAOOOO to which my dad called these anime characters “babies” bc he didn’t know wth anime is. or didn’t think to call em cartoon characters like ok dad there’s a whole BUFF MAN ON ONE OF THEM BUT CALL HIM BABY TO ASSERT DOMINANCE I GUESS
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
who’s not related to me?????????????????????????? bruh idk prob last year when i did my nasa thing and said goodbye to the friends i made there QWQ
15. personality description
dorky and shameless who has no filter and makes tons of dirty and out of pocket jokes if the present company allows it. egg fiend. cute tho
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?
liked someone a couple years ago and was gonna confess a bit after they broke up with someone but before i did they brought up someone they thought was cute and it turned out good because i do not want to date them presently LOL
17. opinion on insecurities.
what does this even mean LOL tbh i live life v much presently and also i simply do not have the capability to stay worried on a lot of things. i guess i will avoid things that make me insecure but insecurities themselves are not a big deal in my opinion???? because everyone has them????????????? like it’s not bad to be insecure but like i think that to some extent you have power over yourself and you gotta run into something HEAD EMPTY you know to say fuck you to the insecurity e.g. i v much prefer having all of my skin covered up instead of wearing skirts/dresses or tanks but sometimes u gotta like separate urself from ur thoughts for a minute. so in a way insecurities can help u become stronger!!! yeah idk LOL
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?
omg i miss being able to fuck off in school and now i’m getting rekt but things are honestly really great now in terms of family and friend relationships so like. tbh no, even after all the struggles, some really good stuff have happened since then!
19. have you ever been to New York?
yes! perhaps i have also. done things like performed in central park and maybe. even in carnegie hall. hehehe prob will del that later for reasons but yeah i was really lucky and privileged in hs :)
20. what is your favorite song at the moment?
really enjoying jayu by se so neon and also white noise by cavalier + crush!
21. age and birthday?
turning 21 this sunday :)
22. description of crush.
kim doyoung. i hate him
letting people i love down, spiders, creepy crawlies. also getting murdered
BASICALLY 5′2″ but +8″ elsewhere (everyday i lose the will to filter myself)
25. role model
no one?? i feel like this is the same question. in terms of kpop idols, kim doyoung. also crush. love that man
27. things i hate
hypocriticism, see animal fears ^, when someone’s high beams are on, .... i don’t have many hates i think. i think i simply Do Not Care enough to hate something LOL
28. i’ll love you if...
i can be super dumb and out of pocket with you. kind to everyone else not just me but like idk pamper me once in a while but not smother me. self-sufficient but also can open up and rely on me. smart but also dumb. maybe i just wanna date a taller dude version of myself bruh
29. favorite film(s)
literally just putting pics of my faves list on letterboxd LMFAOOOO also moots if you use letterboxd and you wanna follow each other on there lmk. warning i have like zero filter, you will be ashamed reading my reviews
30. favorite tv show(s)
parks and rec, the office, community, brooklyn 99, atla, regular show; for anime, then my hero academia, haikyuu, cells at work, samurai champloo, cowboy bebop!
31. 3 random facts
(1) hit in the face with a swing when i was 5 and got the cut on my forehead glued together (2) met don ho from paris by night once and parents took a pic on the flip phone they had like in 2009 but then forgot to save the photo (3) had my first kiss with a guy who was on a volunteer trip with me in the dominican republic (LMFAO THIS IS SO SPECIFIC I’M TAKING IT OUT LATER)
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
i guess in general guys, but the people i mainly talk to are like 2 girls and 1 guy
33. something you want to learn
how to make tumblr themes!!!! i have to actually sit down and read up on html + css first tho. also sign language
34. most embarrassing moment
i do not have enough shame to remember off the top of my head. maybe wearing jeans to fucking TENNIS PRACTICE WHEN I WAS 10 like why did my mom not stop me. i thought i looked fresh as fuck but i was prob just a clown for wearing them to tennis. why mom why
35. favorite subject
dependent on teacher + classmates tbh but i loved band in hs + some history lectures! i did like spanish a lot too but that’s bc my teachers liked me enough for me to goof off and say dumb shit all the time LMAOOO
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
(1) travel the world, mostly eurasia + places to snorkel (2) live comfortably off my own income (3) ????????????????????????????? eat some good fucking food i guess!!!!
37. favorite actor/actress
nic cage (IRONICALLY), jack black (kung fu panda + school of rock hello), SIMON PEGG (cornetto trilogy gmfu) but also director edgar wright for movies ok. what a god!!! and for actress.... idk it’s so hard to remember !!! i liked selena gomez a lot in wizards of waverly place LMFAO
38. favorite comedian(s)
me (and bo burnham! well idk any others but i loved his netflix stuff)
39. favorite sport(s)
tennis, volleyball by association + the couple games i watched, i think lacrosse looks sooo cool too. archery looks cool too!!
40. favorite memory
damn too many too many. i have a lot of fond moments with my friends, like casually hanging out and saying dumb shit is the best. recently, i’ve just been thinking of late high school and early college years a lot though!
41. relationship status
single irl but will be married to nitya on minecraft soon. take that how you will
42. favorite book(s)
howl’s moving castle, six of crows duology, percy jackson + house of olympus series, and i’m sure i will fall in love with the raven cycle once i finish the series !!
43. favorite song ever
EVER??? no way bruh !!! but if it’s ever we gotta go way back..... maybe some old beatles songs from help! or rubber soul or something. or maybe something from songs about jane/it won’t be soon before long by maroon 5. but in general i love love love crush’s songs, like digital lover, let me, nappa, sofa, whatever you do, with you.... also dean’s songs come over, the unknown guest.... also zico’s being left, balloon, .... also other stuff like the whole swimmer album by tennis, songs by beirut like elephant gun, le moribond, postcards from italy... i am all over the place
44. age you get mistaken for
typically people see me as in the 17-20 range i think???? idk i haven’t met new people irl in so long LOL
45. how you found out about your idol
nitya sent me an 8d version of t7s LMFAOOOO and i thought doyoung was cute in the mv but i literally Disliked him when i saw him in the early variety shows idk what happened. i grew tasteful all of a sudden i guess. BUT I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER SEEING HIM IN THE AD FOR HEECHUL’S LIPSTICK PRINCE THING AND THINKING OMGGG THAT GUY WAS SOO CUTEEE WTF BUT NOT LOOKING INTO THE SHOW OR ANYONE ON IT BUT AFTER GETTING INTO NCT I WAS LIKE WTF THIS DUDE LOOKS SO FAMILIAR?? AND LO AND BEHOLD DOYOUNG WAS THE SUPER CUTE GUY KJAHFAKDFHS
46. what my last text message says
47. turn ons
omg is this allowed here. kids look away AHAHAHAH but idk big strong man is a plus. i do like biceps kek. big smile/laugh!!!!!!! also BACKSSS omg a nice back is very seggsi. physically, prob someone built like jongin, but also people who are kind and emotionally aware?????????????????????????? nut
48. turn offs
more irresponsible than ME???? asshole. close-minded. UNABLE TO ADMIT FAULT AND BETTER THEMSELVES BIG DEALBREAKER
49. where i want to be right now
at my dinner table but i AM ALMOST DONEEEE also idk in the car on a road trip would be amazing
50. favorite picture of your idol
every soft black-haired no makeup pic of doyoung ever
51. star sign
pisces sun + virgo moon + cancer rising
52. something i’m talented at
strong eater. ummmmmmmmmm never failing at making terrible puns. idk i like to be a jack of all trades master of none HAHAAH
53. 5 things that make me happy
(1) friends + family (2) snuggled up in bed (3) cool socks (4) matcha ice cream and similar colors/shades to matcha (5) music. all of it
54. something that’s worrying me at the moment
the upcoming work due for classes i skipped lecture for. oop
55. tumblr friends
omg YOU + @/violetlix + @/dreamystuffers + @/marktchi + @/dropofgoldensun are like the only non-irls i have ever really dm’ed or interacted with over tumblr
56. favorite food(s)
meat, chocolate [pastries], fruit pastries, ice cream, pizza, EGGS, bread, thai food, mexican food, viet food -- particularly chao, bun rieu, pho, BANH KHOT, che sam bo luong.
57. favorite animal(s)
manta rays, whale sharks, bears, wolves, chinchillas, cats, dogs, the birbs that are phat and look like straight up circles
58. description of my best friend
one of the least judgmental/most open-minded people i have ever known. considerate, selfless almost to a fault sometimes, kind-hearted, hardworking, patient, loyal, intelligent, hilarious, soo soososos supportive and encouraging and dependable. ALSO fashionable and seggsi. the only person i’d let get me pr-eggnant
59. why i joined tumblr
in 2012, the person who got me into kpop sent me big bang imagines and 2pm taecyeon x snsd yoona fics through here LMFAOOO but yeah i was into big bang scenarios back then and over time i morphed into a writer after getting into exo, bts, and nct!
60. ask me anything you want
you fool you didn’t see this one!!! so you only get 59 questions answered hhahahaahah!!!!!! but i will take this time to say that you’re really awesome cat, i’m so grateful that you’ve persistently messaged me ever since because as you know, i am not someone who is consistent with dms. you always make me laugh with your comments and memes you send me, and honestly you’re someone i find very dependable and can seek advice from if i ever need it. you would make an amazing older sis :,)
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 19]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, powerbottom!seungcheol, brat!seungcheol, dom!reader, restraints(handcuffs), sex toys, dirty talk, degradation, dumbificiation, spitplay, yall the way i be using DDD like i’m guy fieri in this bitch ☠️ dkjfhdskh Also, merry christmas if you celebrate it!! Happy holidays!! Be safe, enjoy your day~💕 I’d say this is my gift to yall but I update every friday, I just so happen to be uploading on christmas LOL Although, Cherry Bomb has been a gift to write 🥺!! One more chapter after this, I can’t believe it... But also first chapter of DD next week 😳 Hehe~ as always, inbox roundup this weekend! Enjoy ch 19 and have a great weekend everyone!! ❤️🍒💕
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - x
“Hyung… Are you… Okay?”
Seungcheol drops the set of skates in his hold; eye twitching when he turns to face both Seokmin and Jeongguk who stare back at him with a concerned gaze. “You haven’t moved from this spot in the last 15 minutes, Jeongguk was starting to get worried… And honestly, me too. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or three.”
“I, uh, yeah, I’m good.” Seungcheol laughs it off, shaking his head and letting out a deep breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “It’s just… Well, I don’t wanna spoil anything but I’m just nervous for tonight.” He bites his bottom lip, remembering when you’d posted the notice to your homepage that basically sealed in the plans you had for him and really, what he had in store for you too.
The two younger males share a look, eyebrows raised. “Whatever’s got you this nervous must be good ‘cause you literally just zoned out and turned into a mannequin for 15 minutes. It was weird!” Jeongguk laughs; half in nervousness for Seungcheol and half in amusement. “Me and Seokmin snapped a few pics too. For posterity.”
Seungcheol rolls his eyes before he picks up the pair of skates again, “Okay, okay, enough with the teasing. Get back to work before Namjoon-hyung sees us all over here!”
“We could say the same to you!”
“Interesting setup…” Seungcheol mutters, eyes glossing over the vibrator, pink fuzzy handcuffs, and cockring that are neatly lined up on the bed. “Should I be concerned that this looks a little too normal?”
You laugh under your breath as you readjust your bra strap one last time before easing onto the bed yourself; patting the spot next to you. “Nah, trust me, it’s not gonna be that crazy. Now c’mere, we only have 10 minutes ‘til we need to start and you’re just standing there fidgeting like we’re about to fuck for the first time ever.”
“Damn, we should’ve done a show with a corruption kink or something.”
“Hey, it’s never too late!”
artist8hao: this looks relatively normal considering the notice
kitty_junjun has donated $75
gc__koo: yea… and considering how i found hyung earlier
gc__koo: mans was a statue
xcaliburDK: yea it was weird, it was like he was possessed
sleepy_wonu: wait u work with him too??
therealchan99: wait is that why u almost quit?
xcaliburDK: can we not talk about me right now thank u
universe_WZ has donated $75
angelhan has donated $100
artist8hao has donated $50
“Well! Aren’t you all a lively bunch tonight!” You giggle softly, wrapping an arm around one of Seungcheol’s as he tenses up under your touch. “Seungcheol’s so tense tonight! Can we get some words of encouragement for him before we start~”
gc__koo: ayyyy my man its gonna be ok
hoshi_tiger_xx: think of it this way, any of us would pay to be in your position rn
tangerine_kwan: l i t e r a l l y
chwenon: its not like ur getting pegged
Seungcheol’s cheeks bloom a bright pink, wide eyes meeting yours as you laugh loudly. “Wait, is that what the vibrator is for ‘cause I--”
“No, no, no! Seungcheol’s not getting pegged tonight, okay?” Grinning, you ease off the bed and make your way towards the nightstand as Seungcheol watches you from behind.
You grab the item, smiling as you hide it from Seungcheol’s view for a little while longer.
“See, when we, really just I, decided to do this back to back camshow for the last time, I really wanted to try something new, y’know? But nothing too far out there ‘cause I didn’t wanna push our boundaries too much.” You move your hand, flashing the object in front of Seungcheol’s face as he raises an eyebrow.
Nodding, you show it to the camera, “Mmhmm~ The quality is gonna go down a bit but I think it’ll be okay! It’ll be worth it~” You set it down next to the array of toys, winking at the camera before settling in next to Seungcheol again.
You lean into his side, grabbing his arm and putting it on your inner thigh as you moan. “Thought that they’d like a new view of us, y’know? Instead of just the static view that we usually have. Now you can film me riding your cock and get a good view of it for the camera~” Seungcheol smirks as he drags his hand up your thigh; fingertips grazing against your panties as you mewl.
“So that’s the game you wanna play tonight, huh, baby? You wanna film each other up close and personal for everyone to see?”
He can feel his cock twitch in his sweats, already eager to see where this went.
“Well…” You bite the inside of your cheek, face hot as you pry his hand off of you. “Actually, I want you up by the headboard while I set up this gopro. Think you can shimmy up there, ‘Cheol?”
The male nods slowly, shuffling towards the headboard as you turn to the camera. “The stream’s probably gonna cut out for a sec while I set this up but please be patient with me, okay?” Winking, you quickly set up the gopro before cutting out the stream to fiddle with the settings and changing it so that the stream was coming from the gopro instead.
“Ah, good! It works!” You make sure everyone can see you from the smaller device before you’re rejoining Seungcheol on the bed; eyes twinkling with mischief as you hand the gopro to him before reaching for the toys you’d laid out.
chwenon: im rly curious about this
universe_WZ: i know, same
alphagyu97: fuck the angles we’re about to get with this for future shows tho
hoshi_tiger_xx: oh hell yeah
Seungcheol holds onto the gopro, making sure to film you as you hold the vibrator in your hand. “Let’s start with this first, huh?” You don’t waste a second before you’re turning the toy on and pressing it against his clothed cock.
“Oh, s-shit!” He almost loses his grip on the small camera when his body threatens to double over at the vibrations that quickly have shivers running up his spine. “Oh fuck, that’s---that’s so s-strong!” Seungcheol’s hips cant up, grinding against the vibrations when he realizes how good it actually feels.
“Strong? It’s only the lowest setting, baby. Is your cock that sensitive?” You smile; voice laced with a teasing lilt and the pieces start to fall for Seungcheol when you seem to spit his own words back at him.
“That’s h-how it’s gonna be, huh?” He grits out, jaw clenched when you raise the setting to the second highest. “F-fuck, you---”
“What? We’re playing like I wanna tonight, right, ‘Cheollie?” Licking your lips, you lean in close to the camera before your lust filled eyes meet his.
“And tonight, you’re just my dumb little fucktoy that I get to play with, aren’t you?”
Seungcheol tugs against the fuzzy pink handcuffs that keep him bound to the headboard; gritting his teeth when you turn off the toy for the third time.
“Ah, ah, ah, don’t move around too much, Seungcheol. Dumb little fucktoys should be good and stay still, right?”
“Right.” Muttering, he watches as you bring the camera closer to his cock again, filming the vibrator that you tap against the cock head; both covered in precum.
“Your cock is already so hard~ God you’re so fuckin’ easy~” You squirm a little from where you straddle his thighs; already wanting to sit on his cock but also knowing you still wanted to play with him a little longer while you had him underneath you.
angelhan: goddamn she’s so fucking hot when shes the dom???
therealchan99: the way i would pay her to choke me and spit in my mouth
alphagyu97: she could put me on a leash and i’d bark without question
You turn on the toy again, pressing it against his cock as he groans and thrusts his hips up. “Ah! We should use the last toy, before you end up cumming without my permission.” Seungcheol lets out a choked sob at the way you sound so cheery, eyes looking up towards the ceiling while you set the vibrator down in favor of the cockring.
Wrapping a hand around his cock, you work you hand up and down as you smear the precum down his shaft. “Hmm~ Bet you’d cum right now if I just sucked you off, huh?”
“Dunno, why don’t you sink your pretty ‘lil mouth down on me and find out?” He snarkily replies.
You shoot him an angelic smile; one that makes him realize he really shouldn’t have said anything when you hurriedly ease the cockring down until it sits at the base of his cock. Grabbing the vibrator again, you turn it onto its highest setting before bringing it back to his cock and holding it parallel to his shaft. “You’re so mouthy~ You should really be careful with that~”
Seungcheol lets out a sharp, shaky breath; eyes wider than saucers when he feels his abdomen tightening and the pleasure rapidly building up in his body. “W-wait, but---but, ah, h-hold on, it--it feels like I’m g-gonna cum!” He tugs against his restraints as his entire body squirms and thrashes against the bed at the sensations that flood his body.
“Ah, you really are so fuckin’ easy for me, Seungcheol~”
A weird feeling washes over Seungcheol when he feels his cock twitching; mouth open in stuttered breaths as his eyebrows furrow. It felt like an orgasm, but at this point, he can’t even tell. “Wh--what?” He lets out a drawn out groan, throwing his head back against the pillows just as you shut the toy off and toss it to the side.
“I think you just experienced your first dry orgasm, huh? Not so fun being on the other side, is it? Being played with~” You laugh teasingly, readjusting yourself until you’re grinding down onto his cock. instead. “Mmh, I’m gonna use your cock and I’m gonna make myself cum and you can’t do anything about it~ Just my own personal fucktoy watching me get off~”
You take the gopro and set it down right on Seungcheol’s chest, “Don’t move, or else.” He nods once shakily, watching as you lift yourself up and position his cock right at your soaking entrance.
The two of you share a moan once you finally start to sink down onto his cock but Seungcheol knows he won’t actually be able to cum anytime soon.
chwenon: they rly said VIEWS on this one
gc__koo: honestly, i aint even tryna get off i just like watching knowing hyung is lowkey suffering
gc__koo has donated $100
gc__koo: its like a reward
kitty_junjun: he’ll be lucky if he even gets to cum again lbr
sleepy_wonu: oh how the tables have turned huh?
sleepy_wonu has donated $100
tangerine_kwan: wait but…
tangerine_kwan: if today was her idea and tomorrow is his…
chwenon: uh oh
artist8hao: oh i didnt even think about that
artist8hao has donated $100
artist8hao: for the aftercare funds
kitty_junjun: dont be too hard on her!!
kitty_junjun: also breakfast on me when ur not too tired
You start bouncing in his lap, loud moans on your lips when his cock curves perfectly into your g-spot.
“Oh, fuh--fuck, your cock is so g-good! Fuckin’ hits me so, hah, d-deep!”
Seungcheol can’t do anything but grit his teeth and let you alternate between bouncing on his lap and swiveling your hips atop his own; jaw clenched tight. “Y-yeah? Your so-called sex toy fucks you g-good? I don’t even have to, ah, do anything, all I have to do is lay here and you’d cum, huh?” He smirks up at you, convincing himself he’s one-upped you when you pout and halt your movements.
He lets out a soft groan when you clench around him and you’re quick to grab the gopro still sitting on his chest before turning the camera towards him.
“Such a bold mouth you’ve got. But don’t forget, you’re the one handcuffed to the bed and you’ve got a cockring on, baby~ I can give you more dry orgasms if you’d like?” You lick your lips, “Be a good little fucktoy and open your mouth for me.”
Seungcheol narrows his eyes before obeying, lips parting hesitantly. “Now, stick your tongue out.” You turn the camera and hold it from the side; filming yourself as you let a glob of spit fall from your lips, directly onto Seungcheol’s waiting tongue.
A shiver runs up his spine when he draws his tongue back in to swallow the saliva, hazy eyes staring back up at you when he parts his lips to show you that he’s swallowed it all down.
“See? You can be so obedient. You just choose to be a brat.”
“Where’s the fun if I make it easy for you? And it’s cute watching you trying to dom me when we both know how much you like being under me.”
You resume your movements, swiveling your hips as you set the gopro back down onto his chest. “Ah, all the things I could do to you right now, ‘Cheol~ We should do this again so I can try some wax play on you… Or, hah, m-maybe even ice play? Since your body is so fuckin’ sensitive. Bet you’d be so fuckin’ cute cumming over and over and whining when the overstimulation starts to bite~”
It only takes a second for Seungcheol to mentally say ‘screw it’ before he uses all his strength to plant his feet down onto the bed and start thrusting up into you. Your body jerks on top of him, surprised noises spilling from your lips at the strength he exerts in his frustration.
“My body’s sensitive? You take one look at me and your panties are fuckin’ soaked.” Seungcheol scoffs, watching as you grab the gopro and set it to the side before it topples off of him. “I might be your dumb little fucktoy today but you’re mine too. My dumb ‘lil cocksleeve that only knows how to beg me for cock. Your pussy was made for me, baby. Don’t forget that.”
The pleasure builds inside your body as you meet his thrusts and for a second, you contemplate taking off the handcuffs and the cockring, but instead deciding to keep them on. Unless he begged.
“Fuck, S--Seungcheol, ‘m g-gonna cum~” You reach down, fingertips on your clit as you hurry to throw yourself over the edge of an orgasm. “That’s right, cum on my cock like the desperate ‘lil cock hungry girl you are.” He growls in frustration; wanting to cum but knowing he wouldn’t be able to unless you took the cockring off.
“Oh god, Seungcheol!”
Your walls flutter around his cock and he lets out a garbled moan at how good you feel when you cum; exhaling harshly at the frustration of not being able to cum with you. “That’s right, bet it feels good with my cock inside your tight ‘lil cunt, huh?”
He halts his movements just as you opt to grind down on him, fingertips still rubbing and pinching at your clit as you ride out your high. “Mmh, bet you wanna cum too, don’t you, ‘Cheol? Wanna, ngh, fill my p-pussy up with your cum like you always do~ But do you even deserve it? Or should I leave you here and let you cool down?”
alphagyu97: the energy we’ve created in the studio tonight
xcaliburDK: i know, holy shit
angelhan: i feel like i'm actually scared for this man im ngl
alphagyu97: if she lets u cum ur a lucky man
You let out a sultry moan; body filled with warmth as the last bits of your orgasm wash over you. “You’ve been so mouthy and bratty but I wanna feel you cum too, so I’ll be nice tonight~”
Smart move, he thinks.
Raising yourself off of his cock, you let out a whimper at the emptiness you feel; pussy clenching around emptiness as you settle back down onto his thighs that are slick with your wetness. “Mmh… On second thought… Why don’t you beg a little? Lemme hear how much you wanna cum~”
He feels his cock twitch and realizes you won’t make this any easier. “Fuck, okay, p-please.... Please take the cockring off so I can cum… I--I wanna cum inside your pretty ‘lil cunt, fuck, I don’t even care if you just jerk me off just---just please take it off! I’ll t-take it easy on you tomorrow, I s-swear!” Seungcheol almost accidentally spoils his ideas for his planned camshow and he quickly bites his bottom lip before he accidentally says too much.
“That was weak but it’s okay. Dumb fucktoys don’t need to think much, do they? Only good for being used like a toy~” You pout mockingly at him before you’re easing the cockring off of him and Seungcheol lets out a guttural moan when you immediately wrap a hand around his cock and start jerking him off.
“You weren’t very nice with your words tonight so you’ll cum with just my hand.”
“Fu--fuck, that’s fine, just let m-me cum, please!” You work your hand up and down his shaft, giggling when you already feel his cock throbbing in your hand when you run your hand from the base to the tip.
“Cum for me, Seungcheol~”
He lets out a small whine, eyes clamped shut when he finally cums and for the first time in his life, he feels himself momentarily black out with how hard his orgasm hits him. Ropes of cum hit his chest as you work him through it, alternating the tightness of your grip on his cock as he whines and moans in return.
“Ah, you’re cumming so much this time~ You’re making such a mess!” You tease.
Seungcheol can barely hear a word you say through the ringing in his ears once his orgasm starts to ebb away and he feels himself slump against the bed as he catches his breath.
His chest rises and falls in deep breaths and he feels you leaning over him to undo the handcuffs; tired sighs on his lips as he tries to focus on you through bleary eyes. He can feel his entire body twitching and he swears his arms have. gone numb from being handcuffed to the headboard. “You’re gonna get it tomorrow, I swear…” He mutters, no real threat to his tired words.
“Hey, you said you were gonna take it easy on me tomorrow!”
tangerine_kwan: yo im excited to see the sequel to this
gc__koo: i have some… ideas
gc__koo: things r falling into place
gc__koo: my brain is expanding
hoshi_tiger_xx: i feel like its gonna be intense lol
xcaliburDK: knowing hyung…
xcaliburDK has donated $100
xcaliburDK: if u call into work on monday i wont even question it
“Here, you need to drink this, ‘Cheol!”
The said male groans as he tugs a pillow into his arms, already on the brink of sleeping when you finally end your camshow. “But ‘m tired…” He whines. “Can’t we just go to bed and clean up in the morning? The cum on my chest is already dried, it won’t get on the sheets.” You roll your eyes in return, sitting next to him on the bed.
“Oh, so now you’re being a big baby? I’m just trying to get you to drink some water and we need to get you at least a little cleaned up for bed. You can’t go to bed like this, y’know. And anyway, we need to be in top condition for tomorrow show too. We gotta get cleaned up and eat a little something.” You laugh under your breath, shaking your head as he only whines harder.
“C’mon, I always do it for you, right?”
He nods only once before he’s sitting up tiredly; a shaky hand reaching for the glass of water you hold out to him. You immediately take notice of the slight redness around his wrists, pouting as you help him finish the glass before setting it down onto the nightstand.
“Your wrists got so red from the handcuffs, ‘Cheol… You should’ve said something if it hurt, I would’ve taken them off…”
Seungcheol grins at you, eyes unfocused with sleepiness. “Who said it hurt? I didn’t even feel that in comparison to that horrible dry orgasm you made me experience. God, it was like… Like when you have a dream but it feels real until you try to grab for something and realize you can’t?”
The two of you share a laugh as you help Seungcheol off of the bed so that the two of you could properly get cleaned up before he flopped back down onto the sheets.
“Yeah? Trust me, that wasn't even the worst I could’ve done! You’re lucky I took it easy for my first time!”
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Heyy!! I’ve been meaning to pin my testimony, so here it is :)
So, my life wasn’t really the greatest growing up. I mention C-PTSD in my bio, and that’s what I’ll get into a bit. I’ll try not to be too graphic, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be totally safe.
There were some questionable things in my toddler years, a neglectful daycare center for 3 months, my dad being in and out of my life due to fear of getting attached at first, him flying off the handle once with me (my mom got on him for it, so it never happened again) but I think the trauma started with my cousins leaving me stuck out in a baby swing twice, a near death experience with a dog bite, and a homicidal attempt on me and my mom by my sister, who was 16 at the time (I’m 5 years old).
There was also the dog cage incident I believe at…6 years old? Me and my brother were playing and he forgot me on accident. I pretty much accepted at this point that life was gonna chain me up and try to kill me lol, but it let up for a good while, and I had a pretty decent childhood. At 9 years old, there was the torturously loud school program in the gym I had to sit through for 2 hours, I think.
It was at 10 when things became chronically ongoing. Domestic violence at home from my sister (physical, emotional abuse on me and my family), more physical and emotional abuse at school from my assistant teacher because I was on an IEP for my autism. At 11, I was sexually abused by my female friend who was 12, and her female cousin, who was 13. I was abandoned by my cousins and aunt, and I was being placed in a seclusion room at school during standardized tests (which was sensory deprived solitary confinement) even after I was finished for the day. At 12 years old, I started being emotionally neglected by my mother.
I mean, I was so angry and depressed and secretly suicidal at 10, but by 12 I was severely dissociating (I had been dissociating during trauma at various times prior). I had so much fear and anxiety that by the time I was 13 I’d be feeling like passing out 24/7, so I got on meds, which only helped the more severe physical symptoms, I guess.
At 13, I started being groomed by this high school girl that liked me. She was a Sophomore, and I was in 7th grade. She noticed the neglect and told me she knew me better. She would give me gifts, teach me to ship gay pairings, gave me a gay pedophilic manga. Shamelessly told me she had sexual relations with her male cousin and his friends who were around my age. I blocked it out.
I also had a very abusive friendship with a girl online who had BPD. My assistant teacher, who came with me to middle school, restrained and tortured me with the marching band’s loud music in the hallway, which only intensified my dissociative symptoms (I was actually switching alters at this point regularly and having no idea).
I remember at 13 being confused about my gender and sexuality. My mom was no help and just wanted me to hide it from my family and everyone else, for reputation purposes and she didn’t want me bullied. That was actually how I decided to get in contact with my grooming abuser, which I wonder at this point whether that was my fault. I didn’t expect her to really take over like she did, but I was essentially brainwashed into accepting whatever I was feeling for her benefit. I just wanted advice and a friend.
I was so lonely, I had been desperate for friends for years, and I was desperate for someone to love me in any way, honestly. I was overeating. I’d spend hours daydreaming, in video games or entertainment to escape from school and everything else. During meltdowns, I’d be doing self injurious behaviors.
So by 14, I come out as a lesbian. Had a couple relationships with girls who just saw me as a sexual object (I remember saying yes to sexual things even though I didn’t want to, just so that they wouldn’t abandon me. Dissociating off and finding it disgusting), would cheat on me with multiple people, ignore me for new friends, etc.
The BPD friend I dated, when I broke up with her, immediately attempted suicide so that scarred me more into our trauma bond. She’d show me self harm pics she took from time to time. It scared me into making sure I didn’t trigger her again, but u know I never knew what triggered her in the first place, so, like with everything else, I had no strategy to life. It was either fight, run, dissociate or nod yes to everything. She took up the latter lol.
I came out as trans my Freshman year, and stayed that way into my Sophomore year. I was bitter about dating because of the whole sexual object thing, and full of shame at the same time, thinking no one would want me. I thought I was asexual. I tried out a career high school honestly just to get away from the memories of my old school.
Some feelings about being trans started to fade, but not entirely, so I went by genderfluid/genderqueer from 17-19. I was excited to make new friends at my new school, but my anxiety kept me from it. I opened up very awkwardly about my dating history to one girl (which tbh I shouldn’t have, but I had been brainwashed so lol) and she told all the girls in my lab, and I was excluded and bullied (and cyberbullied) from thereon.
I didn’t know it at first, it was so subtle. But once I knew, I tried standing up for myself and told the principal, which made them leave me alone for the most part. They’d glare at me, use me at graduation, cyberbully me one last time 8 months after graduation, and that was it. I still had to deal with domestic violence until I was 22, but once I graduated everything pretty much hit me.
I knew I’d be too stressed out to go to college or work. School indoctrination tried to teach me to be neurotypical and expect this, but it wasn’t happening. I was too afraid to leave my house for a year, and too afraid to be honest online for fear of being watched and bullied, or stalked. I was seriously considering suicide down the line. I thought I had nothing left to live for. I was useless. Nobody cared. Friends moved on to their new lives and I was dying.
That’s when Jesus stepped in.
I guess I started being curious about God again for the first time since I was 12. I always believed in God, was grateful to Him for being there for me during the domestic violence and never blamed Him for it. I found out about worship music and was thrilled, and a question came up. Was being gay a sin? My grooming abuser taught me that God made me gay, so it was alright. But I wanted to know for sure this time from the Word.
To my surprise, she was wrong. The Bible said it was indeed, a sin (the practice, not so much the identity aspect). I couldn’t piece together why, so I struggled with it for months. On my 20th birthday however, when I got done creating fanart of a gay pairing, I felt strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit that it was wrong. So I went to God.
I said, “If it is wrong, please change me so I can make You happy, because I love You. In the meantime, I won’t do anything in support of it for a while. If it’s not wrong, don’t change me, and I’ll know which way is right because I trust You.” When I look back on it, it was a pretty crazy prayer. Lots of people have said they couldn’t “pray the gay away”, and I do wonder what the difference was with me.
After 3 months, I stopped to check if I still felt anything, and the feelings were gone. My gender dysphoria was gone, too. I was way too afraid to tell anybody yet, but I remember when I did, one of the first people I told was my grooming abuser.
She was livid, tried one last time to intimidate me. Another time we crossed paths (she came out of nowhere saying hi, said she worked at that market, complimented me and walked away smiling) and I was triggered, I messaged her and told her how she hurt me and I couldn’t bear to be around her anymore, but I hoped she’d have a good life. She didn’t respond online, but she complained to my sister that I thought she was a predator, and by the end of the conversation tries to get her to tell me she said hi. When she had kids, she was planning on raising them to be nonbinary. Her husband was abusive to them, so she ended up losing them. She never bugged me again.
I was blown away by how God had changed me. How He opened my eyes to the truth. I prayed for Him to open my eyes to whatever else I had been blind to, and He slowly began lifting off the amnesia surrounding all my traumas, urging me towards recovery with Him. I realized I might have OSDD-1b recently as well, which is strange that I could have possibly had DID prior to losing my amnesia?
I have been on this journey ever since, journaling, blogging, researching, and finally in a wonderful therapy called EMDR where I truly release the traumas from my body, hear God’s new positive beliefs to replace old negative ones from my childhood, and experience loving extraordinary visions while processing that teach me to focus on Jesus, trust Him more, love and pray for my enemies, and have a real satisfying relationship with Him that’s unattainable with anyone on Earth, along with daily Bible study.
The picture on the left was me at 16 in my old life, the one on the right is me in my new creation :) God bless all of you, thank you for reading this far 💕💖
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Do you have a vlog?
If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog?
I actually had to look up the meaning and that’s an absolute no from here.
Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten?
PM and i loved it cause even then I wasn’t a morning person
What are your favorite youtube channels to watch?
I feel like an alien when I tell people I rarely to never watch YouTube. So I absolutely have no favorites.
Which relative(s) do you look the most like?
Now my sister is chunky we look alike 😂😂 I have some features from family of course but I don’t think there’s anyone I look a lot like.
Have you ever watched a live birth video?
Videos?? I watched that in live and living color, four times while assisting friends giving birth.
Have you ever given birth?
Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing?
Absolutely. I’m that old. 😂😂
Do you remember Y2K?
Lol yes I absolutely do
How old were you when the year changed to 2000?
18 years old and ready to begin my life
What was your favorite childhood vacation?
We did quite a bit of camping with extended family and I think those were always my favorite. My grandparents used to take us in their RV all over and that was so much fun.
Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?
Hell yeah being a guy would be a lot easier in my mind.
What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest?
I be the first born
Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are?
I don’t really think so. Then again I’m not sure what the stereotypes really are
Have you ever worn overalls?
As a teenager in the 90s I can confirm overalls were definitely in my wardrobe.
If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period?
Do you get cramps?
Terrible ones. When I took the pill they were calmed to a tolerable level most the time though.
Is your mom mentally stable?
Thank goodness she is because she may be one of the only ones in the family who can say so 😂
Is your dad a complete jerk to you?
No. Rarely to never. Even if his mind has been taken over by Fox News and way too many years of drug abuse
Where do you want to go on vacation next?
It’s hard to say because of all this COVID shit and I don’t really like the cold so this time of year is not great for that. I’d like to go to this little coastal town like 2-3 hours from here and spend the whole weekend relaxing, exploring nature and taking pics
What is one place you want to visit before you die?
Somewhere extremely tropical. The azores too
Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of?
So we’re not the HIGHEST suicide rate in California but our average is 2x higher than the average in the state. We’re in the top ten. And yes, I do know people who’ve done it.
What's your favorite type of crackers?
I like ritz and wheat thins
What's your favorite spice?
I’m not sure. Chile powder? lol
Are you sensitive?
Above and beyond the call of duty
Are you intuitive?
More than your average I’d imagine
Are you spiritual?
Do you wish your life were easier?
Fuck yeah I do especially right now
What color hair did your first crush have?
What was the name of your first crush?
Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com?
Have no idea what that is
Do you remember your first email address?
You mean my AOL screen name?? Lol and yes.
Did you name your lego characters?
Don’t think so. Then again most lego playing I did occurred as a preschool teacher
What was/is your high school's mascot?
What is/was your favorite class in high school?
Creative writing, English, Spanish, anthropology, psychology, sociology. Some of my early childhood Ed classes were fun
Is college an adventure?
I think so for most folks. By the time I was there I was a mother with a full time job so it was much more of a struggle to get through
Do you take medication for anxiety or depression?
Pretty much everyday for the last 29 years
If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?
Its been a journey and I’ve tried so many different types. Side effects vary and effectiveness fluctuates. But I can tell you with absolutely unequivocal certainty if I didn’t take anti depressants I’d kill myself.
If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?
These tubes been tied 8 years now
Who is your favorite cousin?
My cousin Thalia for sure. We are close in age and we think a lot alike. I have another cousin who I was super close to growing up but not so much anymore which is sad but I guess that’s life.
Do you look your age?
With pics most think I’m younger but ya know editing is a real help lol. I think I look slightly younger than my age in real, non filtered life. Then again maybe people just being nice.
What's your favorite flavor of frosting?
Kinda depends on the cake. And I don’t really like frosting (or cake for that matter) too much but a thin layer is usually good.
Do you like toe socks?
I haven’t really tried them but I don’t even like socks that don’t smother my toes so I bet it’s a no
Muffins or cupcakes?
Not a huge fan of either but depends what kind
Have you ever had a bag stolen?
Not a bag but plenty other things
How old were you when you got your first phone?
I think 19 or 20. They were new to the general public back then. I got a Nokia that I’d only use to return calls that came in on my pager. 😂😂
Are you ready for summer?!?!
Ignoring the fact it’s more than half a year till summer I can assure you I’m always ready for summer.
Is winter your favorite season?
Hell the fuck no it’s my least favorite
How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season?
Several but I don’t relate lol
Are you unique in any way?
Is there anyone who isn’t?
Do you have any hidden talents?
Ummm... probably not. Unless you count the ability to tell if somebody’s dead or not by their pic. Or predict the sex of a baby. Lol
Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters?
Most often question people ask is if my mom is my real mom 😂😂 She’s very young looking so many times people have thought we’re both my grandmas daughters
Who was your best friend in high school?
The group I came in with wasn’t the group I exited with. And towards the end I kinda had several groups I’d spend time with. It’s hard to pin point one person but I had a sizable friend group.
What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child?
There was this movie called “Fire in the Sky” I made the mistake of watching with my mom and I still can’t say I’ve fully recovered.
What song makes you cry?
“You’re gonna miss this” by Trace Adkins
“Lagrimas del corazón” by Montez de Durango
both guaranteed to bring tears to my eyes
Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you?
I think he eventually knew... and funny later his sister became one of my lifetime bffs later on so she knows lol.
How many teachers have you had crushes on?
Don’t think I ever had a crush on any teachers
Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other?
Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? ^
Dates. Proms. Honeymoons lol.
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Do you like church?
Do you have scars from self-harm?
Do you have cellulite?
How old were you when you started getting zits?
Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty?
It went from lighter brown to dark brown closer to black. Got frizzy. I think it was curly but cause I didn’t know how to do shit with it until I was grown I’m not sure
Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom?
She’s probably an inch taller than me.
Would you ever consider adopting a child?
I can’t honestly see me volunteering to be a parent. Raising two kids alone has been so hard and once my second is grown I want to live for myself. But I wouldn’t make that a never because you don’t know what life has in store.
Who was your first roommate?
When I was in high school I lived with my boyfriend, his niece and her man and their 3 year old daughter.
Have you ever had a teacher who was rude?
Absolutely. But that’s the exception.
Is your mom paranoid?
No. My mom is one of the most stable human beings I’ve ever encountered.
Do you trim your own hair?
I have. I once went like 15 years without getting a professional hair cut
Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child?
What are all the things you remember being for Halloween?
I’m old so I don’t think you want the whole list. This year I was Snow White
What was the name of the first pet that you loved?
My first dog Cocoa
Did you have your own room as a child?
Not till I was 14
What color was your nursery?
Not sure I ever had a “nursery”
Did your parents know your gender before you were born?
What is your name (first and middle)?
This page is my anonymous page so yeah, not gonna say. But it’s a common name with very uncommon spelling.
What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender?
Westley I think. Thank god I’m a female lol
Do you like your name?
I don’t really think much about it but it’s alright
What would you name your children?
I’ve already named them lol
Do you exercise regularly?
No. But before I got crippled up I’d count my days working on the farm as exercise
Do you have a healthy BMI?
I think I’ve almost lost enough to no longer be considered “obese”
Do you look like your mom?
What is the origin of your last name?
Google says French but I’ve only known Hispanics/Latinos with it
What is the meaning of your first name?
What month were you born in?
Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family?
I have two cousins I think, more distant cousins though
Do you have a sweet tooth?
After being a preschool teacher I developed one that never went away
What photo editing software do you use?
Adobe Lightroom... computer version and phone version
Where do you buy most of your clothes?
Ross, Walmart, kohl’s, cacique
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aftg asks; questions by triquetrine
these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same!
op is the post before this or also tagged “misc”
neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?
first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM.
“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”
that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e
nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)
there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.
andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?
i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh..
kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?
oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes
dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?
definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha
matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?
Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya……..
nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?
neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy
aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?
defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...
katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?
uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0
allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?
actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them.
as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed.
renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)
uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….
seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)
my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot…
some son nefes moments of them i liked: tw // rape
renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens
how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me
tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good…
their convo in the rain w their tea
i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)
BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..
david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?
oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once…
abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?
first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha
besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?
fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.
riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)
uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...
jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?
uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened…..
jean moreau: favorite friendship?
oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed
the suh family - johnny suh x reader
Continuing on from this, the two of you had very very long conversations with like a million different people who worked for SM
Things seemed bleak for a while, but eventually the company decided that they were okay with the pregnancy
It was decided all round that you’d keep the pregnancy quiet for as long as possible
Overall it was a fairly nice pregnancy
The other NCT members treated you almost like you were made of glass
All of the younger members are in awe of their Johnny,, like he’s a DAD
Obviously Johnny is really close w the exo members so they would talk a lot ab your pregnancy as well
You got lots of advice from jongdae lol
Anyway everyone would just like hold open the door for you and help you stand up and everyone would just watch you walking around to make sure u were safe n that
As your stomach grows, Johnny becomes more and more doting of you
Does anything and everything you ask him to
A lot of your time is spent in the SM building, either sat on a couch cradling your stomach in the recording studio or hovering around the practice rooms looking for either your boyfriend or some other idol you were friendly with
At around 5 months you found out it was a boy
You cried lmao all you could do was picture a tiny Johnny and it made ur heart EXPLODEEE
When you reached six months you decided that you were ready to reveal it to everybody
Johnny did one of those staple sm handwritten letters explaining that you were expecting ur baby
And despite all of the worrying you had done for the past several months everyone was very very supportive !!
Naturally ur identity was hidden from the public
But yeah there were obviously a few antis being awful but it was drowned out by the nice messages !!
Omg I forgot to mention JOHNNY’S MOTHER WAS SO EXCITED
Her first grandchild,,, lil Jude
She would just call you all the time and be like ‘how are you? Are you ok? Have you eaten? Have u had something to drink?’ And you’d be like of course I haveee
Johnny loved ur bump loved loved loved it he would keep his hand on it as you slept
Also you liked to talk to mark & ten as well as Johnny ab your anxieties,,,,,, they were very supportive of you. And it made u feel a lot better
BUT YEAH Jude Suh made his appearance nearly a week late in late October
He was massive
Like 8lbs but he’s Johnnys son so ur not really sure what you expected
And Johnny was in lov he was SO HAPPY he loved his lil baby boy
He posted a pic of his hand online and everyone went mad
Other than that you kept Jude fairly shielded from the public
But that being said… hear me out JCC dad and son day together (Judes face was mostly blurred but nctzens loved it anyway)
He was quite an easy baby
He didn’t cry too long and slept through the night most nights
The members loved him,, he was the first NCT baby so
Taeyong felt almost like a granddad lol
Jisung also very shyly presented you with a gift box he put together w Chenle that had like a shit ton of baby clothes in,, he got very embarrassed when you hugged him
Anyway time for older Jude
Very very very energetic toddler
One year Johnny brings you both on tour with him to America
Jude is initially very confused but loves it
Gives him a chance to flex his English skills in front of his uncles
Each venue gets him so excited he just runs around on the stage and in the corridors all day
Haechan chases him around
Sometimes you take him out sightseeing during the day depending on the city
You didn’t watch the concert every night as well, but on the nights you did you’d put those big ass noise blocker headphones on Jude and you’d have a lil sing and dance together and you’d be like ‘look there’s daddy!’ And he’d be like ‘why is he so far away’ :(
And after the show Jude would just rocket towards Johnny and give him the biggest hug
And Johnny would lift him up and just be like,, ‘you’re getting heavy little man,, you’re not so little anymore’
But Jude doesn’t pay attention and he’s like ‘daddy you danced good !!’
I can totally see Johnny posting the photo you took of them from behind (so u can’t see jude’s face ffff) onto his instagram
And then you’d visit johnny’s parents in Chicago and they give Jude lots and lots of cuddles they just lov him
Johnny takes all of u to his fave places in Chicago and also u go to the bean!! And Jude is very confused and just sort of like stares at his weird and distorted reflection like ????
ANYWAYS your favourite thing is to watch Jude grow and change over time
You can literally always see him growing and changing and learning new things and you LOV IT
When Jude is like 6-7 you and Johnny both agree that you do want another baby at some point
So u come off whatever form of birth control ur on <33
Verity Suh & Katie Suh
Jude is 9 years old when u become pregnant again
You kind of plan it…? Sort of?
Anyway you tell Johnny basically immediately this time
Of course he’s not mad he’s so excited
Obviously he grew up without siblings so he’s so excited Jude will have one !!
You find that you feel a lot sicker than you did last time but ur not sure if u just forgot what it was like last time or something
But you get the biggest shock when you go for ur first scan and they tell u that there’s two whole babies in there
Ur like,,, Johnny Suh why have u done this to me
And johnny’s like a mess because Jude now has TWO SIBBERS
He also silently hoped for a girl
Obviously nct are a bit older now so its not so out of the ordinary that they’re staring to pop out kids now
Omg ive just come to the real life realisation that if all of the nct members have kids and on average people have 2.5 kids there’s gonna be like 40+ kids. Probably over 50 if some of them have 3. What the fuck I don’t know what to do with this information
ANYWAY because of this your pregnancy isn’t as like secluded as the last one
Once you hit 12 weeks you start telling people and everyone is super excited for ur twins
At another scan u find out that they’re both girls
For personal reasons Johnny passes away
Not literally lol
But on the inside
Hes so EXCITED
He picks their names
He tells you that they don’t really have any meaning he just likes them
Calls Verity ‘Vevvy’
You’re not sure why but its cute
A lot of times during ur pregnancy he’d come home and you would just be chilling in one of his oversized shirts with your large bump spilling out of it and he’d just watch you in awe like those! Are my favourite girls!
Anyways the twins are very very active
They won’t stop kicking and you get tired of it very quickly
It irritates you to no end because you just want them to calm down mayhaps but they don’t
Johnny tries to calm them down for you but it’s quite hard because they’re foetuses and they do not understand yk
What the fuck am I even talking about
Anyway Verity and Katie were spring babies
They were born about four weeks early
Verity was born first (you had them vaginally)
She was whisked away before Johnny could even see her but soon enough Katie made her appearance
They were wrapped in little pink blankets and had the cutest lil stripy hats
They were a bit small obviously, like 5lbs 11oz each
And identical !!
And Johnny fell so in love again
He’s obsessed w his little girls
Verity and Katie are literal besties btw
When they’re babies they often cried because they thought the other one wasn’t there or that they just wanted to be together
This carried on to when they were toddlers and kids
When they were tiny Johnny learned how to plait hair (he practised on you, much to your dismay)
So by the time they were in school Johnny could do their hair very well, as much as he tugged on their hair occasionally or mismatched hair tie colours
The twins really really loved nature,, you have no idea where they got this from but they just thrived in it
Sometimes, when you had time, you’d drive out to the countryside and make flower chains for each other
Or go swimming in the lakes in summer
And just run around the fields making up stories together
Verity was much quieter than Katie
Much more thoughtful as well
n e ways
Big big big oopsy baby
You didn’t plan on having anymore kids
You were like 3 is a nice number
…. but then you started getting sick
At first you just thought it was like a bug or something but then boom missed period
And u were like…. Surely not
Verity & Katie were five at this point, Jude was 14 nearly 15
So at first u were like oh dear
How is Johnny going to react?
You didn’t know just how against he may be about having another baby
You began subtly dropping hints over the next couple of weeks, but he doesn’t really catch on
Like you randomly put bread in the oven with no explanation and he kind of just furrows his eyebrows and ignores it
Eventually you just cave and tell him
‘John… I’m pregnant again.’
You think his eyes genuinely pop out of his skull he’s like 👁👄👁
‘Oh my god that’s amazing!’
‘…you’re not mad?’
‘No, of course not… obviously it was a surprise but I’m not angry at you at all.’
‘I thought you didn’t want another baby…’
‘I never said that,’ he chuckles, ‘I said three was a nice number, and that id be happy with three. But id also be happy with four.’
Anyway your pregnancy isn’t that bad!!
Jude is obviously big angsty teen at this point but he’s very happy to have a new sibling! He always just asks how u are and if ur feeling okay or if you need anything
Verity and Katie kind of don’t understand but they like feeling the baby kick and stuff
You decide this time that you’re going to wait to find out the gender bc its ur final pregnancy and idk its just exciting !!
Overall the biggest problem u have is your back pain
You just know this baby is gonna be big asf just like Jude
Spoiler alert ur not wrong
In contrast to all ur other babies, Connor barely kicks
Sometimes ur like?? Uhh? Is he still in there?? and then he’ll kick ur bladder so hard u pee
And ur just like ffs why
Eventually after what felt like a very quick pregnancy
You give birth to a boy !!
And ur like omg <33 two girls and two boys !!
And then ur like omg I have so many kids how
When you take him home the other three kids are all over him
Jude steps back to let Verity and Katie suss him out
And your family just felt complete
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DMBJ Ep 6
I’ve been a bit behind putting these up on Tumblr, so I’m afraid you’re about to get a dump of the remainder of Season 1, plus the first two eps of Explore with the Note! (not all in one post, of course - 1 ep per post as usual)
So! Episode 6!
The Xiaoge Rescue Count at the start of ep 6 stands at 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone.
- And we start back with Chengcheng and High Jr. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS SUBPLOT, MAKE IT GO AWAY AND BRING BACK XIAOGE AND WU XIE.
- Why is Chengcheng calling her kidnapper dage? I don't like her or trust her. She is annoying and shady
- Oh, good, now we are back to Wu Xie being a good boy
- That is a lot of guns and explosives Sanshu has recovered
- I am annoyed at how they all seem to think that A-Ning needs to be shielded from everything unpleasant because she's a girl. She's a goddamn mercenary leader. I think she can take knowing these things - and it's better to let her know as it's found out so that she can adjust to the news properly, instead of springing it on her when it can't be concealed anymore, like what happened when the blood zombie showed up.
- On a completely different tangent, Wu Xie's neck dressing has stayed astonishingly clear for running around in a tomb, crawling through tight tunnels, falling off of ledges and being dramatically rescued, fighting bugs, and fainting all over floors.
- Wu Xie is so sweetly optimistic
- LOL, sure Pangzi, you're here for archeological study
- ....Wu Xie, you are disturbingly knowledgeable about guns for a college student
- Now that I've read the first novel between having watched ep 5 and now, my mind is slightly reeling from how innocent and babie drama Wu Xie is compared to novel Wu Xie
- Awww. Doesn't matter which Wu Xie it is, babie with gun always looks kinda adorable.
- Also, I appreciate Wu Xie's trigger discipline. So often shows have such terrible trigger discipline.
- Oooh, it's like a carved thing on the dais that got his attention. I thought it was like a computer drive or something at first, because it looked kinda like that.
- OH NO, THE LIVING VINES ARE HERE AND SNEAKING UP ON THEM
- ...and pushing the button made them retreat
- I am still concerned
- The music signifies that something creepy is coming
- lol, babie. Looking so innocent even though He Knows What He Did
- I don't know what that sound is, but that's not a good sound
- ...earthquake? That's a bad thing to happen when you're in the middle of an evil cave.
- WU FAMILY, WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONES TRYING TO STAY ON YOUR FEET WITHOUT HOLDING ONTO ANYTHING?!
- So fucking stubborn
- This is where Wu Xie gets it from, if Erbai is wondering
- A-Ning is the smartest one, staying sitting down
- The tree opens up like a fucking security vault and ejects a coffin. Because of course if fucking does.
- Oooh, yeah, that's that shot from the opening credits
- "I can't read any of this, but it says this is the guy we're looking for"
- "His story recorded here is the same as what we know" WU XIE YOU JUST SAID YOU CAN'T READ IT
- Come on. Earlier in the show you said "yes I can read this" and read it. And in the novel, you puzzle it out from being able to read bits. This part, you flat out said he couldn't read it, and now are telling everyone what it says
- I love continuity, but dramas really don't
- The music now is similar enough to the Harry Potter music that I almost expect an owl to go flying past
- The owner of a coffin wanting the coffin to be opened hundreds or thousands of years later seems like it should be something more worrying than how everyone is reacting
- I wanna know how Sanshu knows the coffin has been there for 3000 years. Wu Xie can't read the dates on it, and the Warring States Period was 1500 years ago, not 3000
- JESUS CHRIST, SANSHU, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SENSIBLE ONE!
- Why are you suggesting you open the chained shut coffin in order to see if there's somehow something alive (or alive-ish) in there?
- Awwww! Wu Xie going "no, don't do that, Pokerface told us not to touch anything"
- Like. Not, "no uncle, that seems like a bad idea"
- But "Xiaoge told us not to, and we should do what he says"
- I have the feeling that if this Pangzi is agreeing with something, then you all should not be doing that thing. Because this version of Pangzi is an idiot
- HOW THE FUCK IS THE MOVING COFFIN GOING TO SECRETLY HAVE THE EXIT INSIDE IT, PANGZI
- THAT MAKES THE LEAST SENSE OUT OF EVERYTHING SO FAR
- Pan Zi's "WTF do you think you're doing" look
- This Pangzi is so bad
- I even like Chengcheng better than him. And I wish they had taken her into the tomb and used her as bait.
- I'm glad he's better in other adaptations. Like, I love the Pangzi in Chongqi. I am so glad that he was my intro to Pangzi, not this one
- DON'T MAKE THE BABIE SAD BY BEING DUMB
- A-Ning really should not be just standing there with her leg injury. I've had a muscle biopsy before where they took it from the thigh, which is a similar 'injury' to what she's got, and you do not get on your feet unless you absolutely have to for days afterwards.
- At least they have her limp when she's walking, and it's kinda sad that I'm glad they do that!
- And Pan Zi should not be doing hard physical labour with a fucking gut wound
- But I think I'm more annoyed by A-Ning, because I have personal experience with her kind of injury so know first-hand what kind of pain she's causing herself by standing and walking
- HUMAN BRAIN LOGIC GO
- Pangzi you fucking dick, just standing there watching. You should be pushing instead of Pan Zi
- Hahahah, after all his shittalk and boasting, and he can't do it
- Oh, there, finally
- I know that inside lid is supposed to be jade, but it looks so terribly fake. Oh my god. It's awful
- It looks like a bad Photoshop of one of those Windows 98 default backgrounds
- I love the looks everyone gives Pangzi every time he slips up and talks about getting money from the stuff in the tomb
- LOL, that's not a carving, that's a couple of translucent green plastic discs stuck on top of Windows Background Photoshop cover
- ...I'm kinda waiting for someone to suddenly shout BOO! really loudly while they're all carefully trying to listen for any sounds in the coffin
- They're almost at the end of the first novel in terms of plot, and there's still 4 and a half eps to go
- Wow, I think that's the first time I've seen Sanshu actually worried
- lol, and now Pangzi says he believes him, rather than get his ear that close to the coffin himself
- PANGZI DON'T STARTLE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR FINGER ON THE TRIGGER OF A GUN & DEFINITELY DON'T SMACK THE GUN
- Wu Xie has a lot of control to have not accidentally shot right then
- LOL, after all their declarations how they're archaeologists, not tomb robbers, & how they're here to protect cultural artefacts from robbers, etc - they go make references to the northern and southern schools of tomb raiding
- Just without actually saying exactly what the 'Southern School' being referred to actually is.
- ....and now Pangzi jumps in front of the pointed gun as he grabs it. Do you have a fucking death wish, dude?
- And now we see the infamous bronze armour! Jade armour. Whatever
- You'd think they'd have learned to fucking take all of A-Ning's guns away from her after last time she held one of them at gunpoint
- OMG, the face on the helmet is so fucking ridiculous, I can't - It's not even properly positioned over his face
- Aaaaah, Sanshu called him tianzhen I'm so happy at being able to identify that word now it's ridiclous
- That...that is not what peeled skin looks like
- Pangzi comes right out and admits he's a tomb robber
- And for the first time, no-one calls him on it
- Or correct him for calling them tomb robbers
- Ah, there you are, Xiaoge. I was wondering how long it would take for you to be back
- I see looking for people in a tomb requires no shirt XD
- Better shots of shirtless Xiaoge
- Like, same, Wu Xie. Same.
- Look, I have two braincells, and one is for Xiaoge and one is for pingxie
- YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, PANGZI
- Oooh, this is a goood shot of the tattoo. And of who the tattoo is on
- I don't have a Xiaoge problem. It's the opposite of a problem.
- Seriously, Pangzi is so fucking lucky that Xiaoge didn't kill him a dozen times over during their first meetings here
- Also, now that Xiaoge has explained why he threw a knife at Pangzi, I believe it's time to update the Xiaoge Rescue Count to 9 for Wu Xie, 13 for the protagonists, 14 for everyone.
- Although maybe I should have also been keeping a People Eyerolling At Pangzi Count given how often it's been happening
- More Xiaoge pics, feat. emotions that are not 'worrying about Wu Xie'
- Also, did he throw the corpse off the platform after he broke it's neck, or did it yeet itself off somehow?
- I mean, I too wanna know how Xiaoge knows all this stuff if this was all put here 3000 years ago
- I do love that Wu Xie is already about the only person who Xiaoge will actually look at instead of staring down or straight ahead
- LOL, Wu Xie won't even let Pangzi so much as touch this.
- I honestly appreciate that Xiaoge appears to travel lightly enough that he doesn't have a spare shirt
- EVERYTHING makes Wu Xie better than everyone else (except Xiaoge), Pangzi
- lol, Sanshu, yes. You tell him.
- Hahahah, and Wu Xie playing along with Sanshu, the little adorable shit
- THE LOOK ON HIS FACE
- AND DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE THAT SMIRK, WU XIE
- There is absolutely not enough of little shit!Wu Xie in S1
- Loooool, his little nod at Sanshu now that they got their way and made Pangzi promise to stfu for the time being
- And that is the first time I've seen that style of carriage roll like a car
- Those skull ballistae were a cool aesthetic, though
- THAT CARRIAGE WAS ROLLING LIKE A FUCKING CAR, HOW IS IT BACK UPRIGHT AND ROLLING ALONG THE GROUND TO THE CLIFF
- HOW TF IS IT ROLLING ANYWHERE WITH A SMASHED WHEEL
- HOW TF IS HE ABLE TO HOLD IT FOR EVEN A SECOND, ESPECIALLY WITH ONE HAND
- A thin as fuck flagpole is going to give you jack shit in terms of something to brace with when it comes to that much weight
- THE SCRIPTWRITER OF THIS SCENE IS BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD
- *cries in physics minor*
- I can suspend disbelief for aliens, zombies, everything about Xiaoge, logic holes, and plot pits. Apparently my line is a non-cultivator breaking the laws of physics.
- Aaaah, here come the zombies
- So this dude is not the zombie dude
- He is the emperor, I think?
- OH MY GOD THAT GREENSCREEN IS JUST THE WORST
- I thought the one on the river was bad. The one of her falling as he dives off the cliff to save her is actively painful
- Oh, now it looks like we're gonna have a dumb love triangle in the flashback. Yay. *waves tiny flag*
- Bitch, be a bit more grateful. Yes, your ex-lover caught you as you were falling & did so by basically flying, but that's just standard wuxia defiance of physics. Your husband held a FUCKING CARRIAGE with ONE HAND for AT LEAST TWO WHOLE MINUTES to keep you alive before your ex finally showed up
- "Were you really frightened?" Your majesty, what kind of a stupid question is that?
- The emperor's armour is really pretty, I gotta say
- Uuuugh, this stupid love story hurts in a bad way
- I'm just gonna fast forward through it
- ...and there's the end of the episode.
- That love triangle is going to make me scream, I know it
- But that does explain how they're going to pad out the episodes a bit more with how far through the plot they are already
- None of them are even really that pretty to make up for the boring, trite, love triangle plot
- How do they expect to keep my attention through it if I don't even have eye candy?!?!
- I will be seriously headdesking if this flashback goes on for more than the next ep!
- Oh well, there we are. The end of ep 6
The Xiaoge Rescue Count at the end of ep 6 stands at 9 for Wu Xie, 13 for the protagonists, 14 for everyone.
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dig deeper tag game
thank you so much to one of my favorite people ever @goldenfive for tagging me in this q&a. ilysm! xx
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?
black gel pen is my go-to!
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?
in the city. i love the feeling of everything all bustling, busy, and lit-up around me.
3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?
this is going to sound sort of weird but i’ve been really tempted to learn lockpicking lately? so i’ll say that haha!
4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?
........yes, a lot of sugar. probably “too much” sugar.
5. What was your favourite book as a child?
i hadn’t thought about this series in ages but i loved The Land of Elyon series and also Dealing with Dragons.
6. Do you prefer baths or showers?
showers! my old roommate loved baths and so i tried to get into them but its just not my thing.
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?
something with magical powers!
8. Paper or electronic books?
i always say that i prefer paper but... when was the last time I actually read a hardcopy book? i have no idea. so truthfully, electronic.
9. What is your favourite item of clothing?
an oversized hawaiian style shirt with a Brave (like the disney/pixar movie) inspired design
10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?
i used to not really like it but now i do. (Teachers also always used to say things like “wow your parents named you serena and you really are so serene!” so that’s probably a factor).
11. Who is a mentor to you?
i’m not sure actually? I guess my professor is.
12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?
not really! i dont really like attention and overthink everything so i think if i were famous i’d just be stressin over every detail of everything all the time.
13. Are you a restless sleeper?
nope! i’m a very deep sleeper.
14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?
not really? i love the concept of romance and enjoy romantic movies/books/fics but when it comes to real life I feel like making things super romantic also adds a lot of pressure so i’d rather just be chill
15. Which element best represents you?
everyone says water signs are emotional and i am both a water sign and emotional so... i guess water?
16. Who do you want to be closer to?
all my friends! while social distancing it’s been so different connecting with people and i feel like i’ve drifted quite a lot from the people i used to see almost every other day.
17. Do you miss someone at the moment?
not any more than usual! Im always missing my long distance friends & my boyfriend.
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.
this is too vague idk what memory to share hahaha.
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
i’ll usually try anything once. i guess chicken feet is prob the strangest?
20. What are you most thankful for?
my loved ones being safe & healthy
21. Do you like spicy food?
yes but i’m sort of weak so there will be tears streaming out of my eyes even tho i’m having a good time.
22. Have you ever met someone famous?
i met drake bell when i was in college bc a student club i was part of hosted him for a charity concert event. he was chill and actually had a really good voice during his sound check but then he got high during his meet & greet and after that at the actual show he didn’t sound quite as good hahaha. He was super nice & even took a pic with me for free tho!
23. Do you keep a diary or journal?
nope. i used to keep a planner and even that didn’t last haha
24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?
pencil if i’m working on something where i’ll make mistakes like writing or math but pen if im just jotting down notes or whatever.
25. What is your star sign?
26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?
27. What would you want your legacy to be?
soph’s answer is literally so beautiful so i’m gonna steal it too: “that i made the world a little bit kinder and brighter and better while i was alive”
28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?
i do enjoy reading but mostly i read fics! the last fic i read was adjudication by @bottomlinsons and it is FANTASTIC. the last actual book i read was the first game of thrones book.
29. How do you show someone you love them?
quality time is my love language!
30. Do you like ice in your drinks?
usually! i’m drinking iced coffee as i fill this out haha
31. What are you afraid of?
32. What is your favourite scent?
the smell of an ice cream shop when you first walk in
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?
whatever they introduce themselves to me as. if they don’t, then surname.
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?
i would travel so much. if money wasn’t a factor i wouldn’t have to worry about affording to travel OR being able to take time off to do so... it would be great. i wouldn’t always choose the best value option when i purchased anything and would be able to actually support brands that have good values (sustainability, good wages for employees, etc.). i would donate to everything i’ve ever wanted to bc i always feel bad about having to pick which causes i feel most for bc i can’t afford to donate to everything. also i would drink way too much boba (which, let’s be real, i already do).
.35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?
the ocean! though i guess i dont really swim so much as like... wave jump haha.
36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?
try to see if someone lost it and if i couldn’t find them, then keep it.
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?
yes and of course!
38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?
just one? hahaha
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?
i have no idea but i would get it someplace hidden where no one would see it, not even me. maybe like a dot on the bottom of my foot lol. i really.... don’t want a tattoo.
40. What can you hear right now?
41. Where do you feel the safest?
42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?
feeling like i’ll never find a career or even field of work that i’m actually passionate about and enjoy and can actually make a steady living in
43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?
maybe ancient egypt? there’s a lot of cool times to go back to & i’m really indecisive haha.
44. What is your most used emoji?
45. Describe yourself using one word.
46. What do you regret the most?
dwelling on things that were not important and letting it affect my happiness too much
47. Last movie you saw?
the warcraft movie lol. i don’t recommend it but playing warcraft is great.
48. Last tv show you watched?
either greys anatomy or b99, i can’t remember which was last
49. Invent a word and its meaning
idk if there’s a word for this already, but i need a word for feeling like you want to be busy and have things to do when you don’t but then not wanting to do anything when you finally do. bc thats....me. hahaha.
anyways this is pretty long so thanks if you actually read it all. if you want to do this, i’ll tag @harryeatsburger, @louandhazzalove, @bottomlinsons, @nauticalleeds, @soft1ov, @allwaswell16, @lululawrence, @forreveries, @lightwoodsmagic, @ferricadooza, and anyone else who wants to do this. i highly recommend it when procrastinating other projects hahaha.
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Dig a little deeper
tagged by @gcralts (tysm liibby! 💞✨💗)
1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black
2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city
3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? piano! or learn some new languages. also improve my guitar playing
4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea - no, coffee - yes if it’s just instant, but i usually get caramel lattes when i’m out so no need for more sugar!
5. what was your favorite book as a child? when i was really little i had one of those lift-the-flap books called where’s my kitten? and i LOVED it
6. do you prefer baths or showers? i do love a bath but i always end making them too hot and i start sweating lol so showers
7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a witch babey!
8. paper or electronic books? paper 100%! electronic books hurt my eyes
9. what is your favorite item of clothing? i have a really nice blue cable knit jumper that i love! also just love a good hoodie!
10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? not really. i think i would like it more if i could go by stevie but everyone has called me steph my whole life so it’d be weird to change. but if i could fully change my name i’d change it to alice bc it was my nana’s middle name and i just think it’s a nice name!
11. who is a mentor to you? i can’t really think of anyone tbh? i think there are quite a few people that seem to really have their life together and i’m just like wow could never be me but i admire them a lot, like one of my best friends is just fully living her best life and i want that lol
12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? yes but also no lmao, i think it would suck a lot of the time in terms of like zero privacy and constantly being critiqued for literally everything. but like low key i’m always like i wish i could be an actress lmao. never gonna happen tho bc i have zero confidence anyways but whatever.
13. are you a restless sleeper? i mean i take AGES to fall asleep and it SUCKS and i can’t sleep if there are too many noises or there’s too much light and like, everything wakes me up so i guess lol
14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i probably am but haven’t had a chance to find out for real lol
15. which element best represents you? earth i guess?
16. who do you want to be closer to? my brother tbh
17. do you miss someone at the moment? my family
18. tell us about an early childhood memory. playing video games with my brother (which essentially was just me watching him play grand theft auto and gran turismo and him sometimes letting me play but i sucked at driving lmao)
19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i can’t think of anything
20. what are you most thankful for? my friends and family
21. do you like spicy food? it depends lol
22. have you ever met someone famous? yes, i met ed sheeran for like 2 seconds outside a radio station and got a pic with him; i met karen gillan at armaggedon (basically the nz equivalent of a low-budget comic-con); and i met niall horan at a m&g before his show
23. do you keep a diary or journal? nope. i’ve tried in the past but i always forgot to write in it lol
24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen
25. what is your star sign? gemini
26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy! i hate when my cereal gets soggy!
27. what would you want your legacy to be? i can’t answer this bc i have no idea what i’m doing with my life and thinking too much about it is depressing lol
28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? hell yes! i just finished always and forever, lara jean by jenny han and i’m currently reading sapphire blue by kerstin gier
29. how do you show someone you love them? letting them know i’m here for them, sending them links to stuff i think they’d like/find funny
30. do you like ice in your drinks? sometimes, as long as it’s not like, basically the entire drink
31. what are you afraid of? spiders, dying, being alone forever (lookin’ highly likely lol)
32. what is your favorite scent? vanilla, lavender, the smell of rain
33. do you address older people by their name or surname? first name mostly i think?
34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? a LOT of travelling!!! also buying stuff for other people
35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? neither bc i can’t swim lol
36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? Depends on the context. If I found $50 on the ground but I know that someone has lost it, I give the money back to the person. If I don’t know whose money is that, I keep it to myself. (keeping this answer bc same)
37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes
38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? don’t every be afraid to express your emotions, let them out. whatever you’re feeling is valid (keeping this bc same)
39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want to get a daisy tattoo, either on my wrist or below my inner elbow
40. what can you hear now? well i’m listening to the wallows so that
41. where do you feel the safest? home
42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? honestly i just want to find out what i’m supposed to do with my life lol
43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? idek either some time in like the 19th century or just like, the 70s or 80s lol
44. what is your most used emoji? “🥺”
45. describe yourself using one word. kind
46. what do you regret the most? god, a lot of things lol
47. last movie you saw? at the movies it was knives out (which was NOVEMBER LAST YEAR WTF), but not at the movies was to all the boys i’ve loved before
48. last tv show you watched? survivor lmao my flat mates and i are OBSESSED
49. invent a word and its meaning. i’ve not got the energy to be creative enough to do this rn lmao
tagging: @obiliviate @impractical-matters @poscidon @padmeamdala @euphcme @captleia @grayson-dick @ewangmcgregor + anyone else who wants to do this (feel free to ignore! x)
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Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions
I have whole trashcan of ships, so I will focus on many fandoms.
Some might not be fully OTP, but ships I pretty much love as much.
Remember that this is just a game, so let's have fun and no ship wars, I don’t give a damn yo. You ship what you ship.
1. Batman x Joker
2. Ghirahim x Link
3. Kakuzu x Hidan
4. Botw! Link x Sidon
5. Aoba x Noiz
6. Yuri x Toru
7. Midnighter x Apollo
8. Geralt x Jaskier
9. Noiz x Koujaku
10. Link x Zelda
1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?
When Yuri and Toru are in bed and Yuri has few tears dropping, that was the point I was sold so damn hard.
2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?
Too much back in the day (Still reading, just less in general), even the shitty ones until I devolved taste and got tired to see Ghirahim written to be too ooc.
3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?
Nope, mostly because I choose pics and then they kinda... Stay. But there’s possibility.
4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?
Heartbroken, they’re made for each other.
5. Why is 1 so important?
Dynamic, overall mysterious relationship they have in canon. Straight up obsessive love and need, where both are opposites but still blending into this grey area. Batman needs laughter in his life, someone to be on his level and hear the truth once in a while. Joker needs Batman to exist, have a purpose and playmate.
6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?
Kinda funny ship? :,D Okay it’s funny ship, I love when they meet first time, Noiz presses buttons on purpose and manages to anger Koujaku (what seemed off to Aoba lol) right away when they first meet. Chemistry is there and I like to have side dish of hate fucks. It’s perfectly balanced for that.
7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?
Midnighter and Apollo. They’re, to this day so perfectly made to each other and still has problems in their life and relationship, but they manage to handle them together.
8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?
Without going with the Midnighter and Apollo again, I did say Batman and Joker, as they fulfill each other's life, but on other hand Link and Zelda are kinda bonded with fate so there’s that. On other Link can’t get rid of Ghirahim and vice versa. In conclusion was it whatever, Link gets someone stuck on him. ... What was the question again?
9. How many times have your read/watched 10’s fandom?
Seeing I’m only now playing the games, it would be once, but seeing I have been snorting media other ways for years... Who knows. Though from ship it’s self only few times have I seen them in even little bit romantic sense.
10. Which ship has lasted the longest?
In terms of time, Kakuzu x Hidan came first but I’m pretty sure I have shipped Ghirahim x Link most and longest in the end. So both.
11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?
(Thank gods it hit to actually canon pair) uhhh none.
12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?
Just because I believe Jaskier would die, I have to go with Ghirahim and Link. They both have fighting experience, where Link is full blown knight and Ghirahim is... well, demon. Powerful one.
13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?
Pretty sure they had to, specially as kids but as adults? They ain’t giving a fuck.
14. Is 4 still together?
Yes, at least if asked from me lol.
15. Is 10 canon?
Yes and No. Depending what game you look at, it might be more obvious, but most can be read as being good friends (what I’m absolutely in for, I lean more to platonic than romantic at least).
16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?
Okay so technically both Kakuzu and Hidan are immortals. But Midnighter Apollo would get them too, come on one is super computer tactician and other has sun powers. Technically it’s a tie.
17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?
Noiz’s bad way of handling emotions and Aoba not accepting his emotions. Player’s bad choices.
18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?
Pretty much all of them. But mostly GhiraLink, BatJokes and ApoMid, as those are stuck on me.
BatJokes has so much canon material to proof that there has to be something going on with them. Apollo and Midnighter are canonically married, but still some writers wants to break them up.
And one, what doesn’t have anything canon good in them: I simply think that Ghirahim deserved better and Link would be kind enough to help.
19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?
Well I’m now. Jk, Done it, will do again.
20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?
Noiz and Koujaku. Those two hates each other and I could see, that they would break relationship sooner or later.
And everyone who would like to do this. c: