#I simply do not know if my mental health is taking a L

[throwaway-yandere]

Worksheets (Yandere!Alhaitham/Reader)

A/n: What's this, Ansy? Planning on two Alhaitham fics??? Are you not loyal to Dain or Ayat– Speak not, my comrade. Don't tell me that the new Archon Quest wasn't delectable lmao. Also, today was the first time I got a tip, and I??? I've never known happiness quite like that. I'm crying. I will remember you forever, "mommy milkers", I'll dedicate this fic to you ;;-;; (I'm pretty sure I know who you are "*chomp* *chomp*" but that name is entertaining lmao.) On another note, kinda loved how this fic turned out and this is prolly the closest thing I'll ever write to a "lime" lmao.

Unreliable Synopsis: (Student!Alhaitham era) Studying 20 languages is quite an exhausting task. It's a great thing Alhaitham is eager to help his "study buddy".

Cw: yandere themes, implied drugging and non/dubcon. Please don't read this if you're sensitive to the content mentioned. Your mental health matters.

—--------

Alhaitham, like you, is not the type to strike up an amusing discussion while he has a book in his hands. So he laid down his book and decided to take yours as well.

As Akademiya students, you are both bound by a single, exhausting clearance requirement: master 20 languages before graduation. So far, you think you're passable at best on writing romanized Inazuman script and laughable at worst on pronouncing proper Liyue intonations. You can already count yourself as one of the many students that won't see the light of employment next year, but Alhaitham won't let you sulk so readily.

"Time's up. You're done, right?"

He slid the textbook off the table and began flipping through your work.

You didn't reply. Instead, you felt the weight of your head on both palms. It's not that you're unable to reply. You just don't want to admit how illiterate you are in foreign linguistics.

"(Y/n), look at me when I'm speaking."

"I accept my fate." You muttered, soundly defeated. And then, you let yourself rest on the table. "Here lies (Y/n) (L/n). May they finally learn how to pronounce 印 properly in the afterlife."

Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

"Should I help send you off to Aaru Village? Want a proper goodbye from your old study buddy?"

"That would be quite nice, yes."

"Sure. I'll be happy to do that." He stopped flipping through the pages and focused all his attention on you. "If you started acting hysterical and destructive. But you're not. You're just miserable and reserved."

"Thanks for that wonderful assessment, Professor Alhaitham. I'm sure studying neurophilosophy helped you come up with that conclusion. Oh, your brilliance never ceases to surprise me!"

Alhaitham chuckled. His chuckles are almost always short-lived and 100% condescending. 

"(Y/n), language is simply not your forte. But you do wonders in mathematics since we are almost on the same level."

You glared, finally meeting his gaze.

"Must you always brag about yourself whenever you try to cheer me up?"

"Hmm?"

"Lord Kusanali– don't tell me you haven't noticed that about yourself…"

He lightly smacked your head with your textbook. You winced, exaggerating your pain.

"Our conversation isn't about me, it's you. Now, enlighten me, how on earth did you manage to mistake Snezhnayan scripts in a Liyue assignment?"

"E-Eh?!"

You snatched your book back.

"Holy shit. You're right."

You may not like beer, the first time you drank one it tasted funny, but at that moment you decided that once exams are over you're going to get completely inebriated.

Alhaitham watched you reread your work and fondly memorized the way your eyebrows knitted and your eyes skimming through the pages. Your fingers gripped that book as if your life depended on it. That might as well be true knowing your passion for your degree, but he simply wished you will spare part of that zeal for him.

He used to study alone until you showed up. Freshman year was brutal and unkind, but when you insisted on becoming his partner the world had taken on a vibrant hue. Alhaitham never asked for a partner, but your proposal was enticing that he had to say yes. He lied and said he merely wanted to see where this would lead him before, but now he is proud to say he did not regret that decision. It's a shame that your persuasive techniques do not work well with complex Liyue scripts, if they did you would've aced these tests.

"Ugghhh... I hope I get buried raw so I wouldn't have to worry about funeral expenses too..."

Alhaitham did not mind that he's helping you work on your quote-unquote "bane of existence." Students at the Akademiya sometimes fear group work, but he's not one of them. He hopes for one in each subject should it entail that you'll be beside him. Should the assignment be on a frost-prickling mountain, he still wouldn't hesitate to tag along if it meant sharing his cloak and warmth with you. Alhaitham doubts he cares about any other factors. As a friend and intellectual collaborator, you've become irreplaceable.

That's why he won't let you fall behind.

"Chin up." He patted your head like you would a cat. 

"H-Huh?"

"I said chin up," Alhaitham spoke, uncharacteristically soft. "I'll be right here beside you until we graduate."

You smiled, not at all comforted but grateful for the gesture. You sat up straight. "Thanks, Haitham."

When given the option to either comfort or critique, Alhaitham doesn't hesitate to choose the latter. This small moment made you happy. Back then, he used to be rather cold and skilled at getting you off his life. You subconsciously began to grin. Your friend Lisa was right, he softens when he's with you–

"Which is why I'll be sending you additional practice sheets for you to work on," Alhaitham added bluntly, his words dropping like a hammer. "I'm not letting you play games until you perfect writing these scripts."

Your eyes stared coldly back at him.

Nevermind. Forget it. He's the same as he had always been.

"Way to ruin the moment, Future Grand Scribe."

—----

Three days have passed and it's the last day of your dreaded linguistics exams.

Well, that sounds more significant than what it is. It's the last day of ALHAITHAM'S MOCK EXAMS, which is what it actually is, but you can't help but feel nervous as you would in a real graded performance. He takes practice exercises and their punishments very seriously. Last time was just a surprise quiz, so the intensity differed greatly.

Alhaitham took a seat at an adjacent table. He was amusingly dressed in a pair of glasses and an Akademiya professor uniform. You'd mock him for believing in you when you claimed you wanted the exam to be as immersive as possible, but his execution is far too effective for your liking. For crying out loud, he even received the alchemy professor's signed permission to borrow his room!

"For your last test, you need to translate this Liyue text back to Sumeru scripts. I'll give you… 30 minutes for this." He said, adjusting his timer. 

Alhaitham cast a sidelong glance at you, pretending not to see your apprehension. His fingers lingered over the reset and split buttons.

"Are you ready?" 

You felt your palms beginning to sweat.

"S-Sure."

He didn't care what your answer was– no professor would ever wait for a student. Alhaitham flipped the test paper to its front page.

"Timer starts now."

Nervously, you picked up your pen and paper and started reading. Alhaitham left the timer on top of the table and went back to drinking his cup.

Alright, here we go.

Decoding it was simple, at first. The start felt like a canned script for a traditional romantic light novel. You translated the messages back to your native tongue. Then, things started to become a bit complicated.

'I've decided to be entirely honest and truthful in this letter, so I'll start from the very beginning. I used to despise you.'

Your nose scrunched, amused. What an introduction. You pointed your pen in his direction.

"Is our friendship over, Haitham?"

He glared. "Quit talking. 29 minutes and 38 seconds–"

"Alright, alright. Geez."

'But you were so relentless that I couldn't help but cave in. Who wouldn't? You're personable and you share my beliefs about research autonomy. It's difficult to find someone who is an expert at both. You'd know that best.'

'It's pitiful that I can't handle the notion of losing you once this is finished.  Many people do not consider me to be empathic and they frequently misinterpret my lack of emotional expression as a lack of empathy. But you've always been so accepting of me.'

'It's a shame that you left me when morning came. I've never felt solitude quite like that wake-up call.'

You grimaced as you continued to read the rest of the paragraphs. Whoever wrote this must be seriously lovelorn and obsessed because they wrote as if they've hopelessly known that their affections will remain unreciprocated beyond half a decade. 

The author went on to describe how they had watched their beloved enjoy their life blissfully ignorant of the misery they had caused him. Given that Alhaitham creates everything by hand, the stark contrast between the material and his precise letterings does nothing to express the writer's frantic confession.

'I can't get the thought of you out of my mind. It's exhilarating. I've never been this stimulated before I met you.'

'I need you, even after our partnership is over.'

You can't get over how, in Alhaitham's fine handwriting, the author gradually spiraled from unrequited love to an obsession that can't be helped.

'You have qualities that no one else possesses. Traits that I want in a lifelong companion. You taught me things I didn't know I wanted for myself. And you are on top of that list.'

'As you're probably aware, you do have a guardian angel. I sometimes answer your assignments for you. Every morning, I pay for your coffee and leave sticky notes in case you overlook your deadlines. These are all unpaid acts of kindness, but they make me feel like I'm laying a better foundation for a relationship with you.'

'I admit, I don't mind following you around like an affectionate dog every now and then. Your schedule is predictable. You even handed me a duplicate with your new phone number on it. It's both pleasant and difficult for me to watch you from a distance, but what else can I do? Everyone knows I'm rather socially inept for this to play out as smoothly as I'd hope so I had to stoop to this method.'

'At least I learned not to break doors this time."

'Once we both graduate, I might not be able to see you again in my life. We will no longer work together as much as we did before. I wouldn't be able to see you laugh or make excuses just to touch you. I like being near you. Even if you consider me as a one-night stand. Even if you consider me as your biggest mistake.'

You looked at Alhaitham with a face that ridiculed his choice of picking this creepy excerpt. He didn't so much as move and continued sitting at the table, staring at you robotically calm.

You hope this Liyue person has already been apprehended by the Millelith.

You resumed deciphering after deciding to trust whatever bizarre letter Alhaitham had assigned to you. You were beginning to feel sorry for the person Alhaitham obtained the love letter from and its intended recipient... You wouldn't be astonished if Alhaitham pulled this letter from the hands of a mad scholar and deemed it a worthy linguistics exercise.

'You're mine and you will learn to love me. I've already decided on that.'

'I'm sure that declaration is bound to scare you, but I genuinely meant it. I can understand if you react violently. I wouldn't hate you if you tried to contact the authorities, but just know that eremites are useless against me.'

You scowled. Perhaps your study companion wanted you to be wholly aware that translating is not an easy task. If so, you're impressed by his dedication. You'd never read a letter like this again.

Then it got worse.

'That's why I need to take control again.'

'I need you to open your eyes– I need you to know that without me, you cannot survive in a world beyond academics.'

'You need me just as much as I need you, too.'

'So when will you invite me back to Dorm 569?'

You stopped reading and you felt the clip of your pen snap. 

Slowly, you turned the paper to its back. Your eyes were glued to the table, unable to look at your study partner's face.

"Alhaitham…" You laughed sheepishly. "Do… Do you have to go above and beyond writing such a… personal sounding example? You know, the Akademiya doesn't allow plagiarism—especially when it's a creepy love letter."

Being batch-mates with Alhaitham, you're well aware of his eccentricities. And being batch-mates with you helps him pretend that there's nothing creepy about knowing a few minor details too.

But this is… is not one of them.

Alhaitham placed his mug down and began to peek through your worksheets behind you.

"Five minutes left, I'm guessing you're on the last paragraph?" He spoke as if your concerns were nonexistent.

"Of course I'm on the damn last paragraph!!!"

You immediately covered your mouth, looking around the room if you had disturbed others, before being staunchly reminded that you are alone. With him.

It's like reading a horror story at home alone on the weekends. The setting is safe, you trust Alhaitham, but your heart is restless.

Dorm 569. 

It's your dorm number but it's not an innocent suggestion if– when it comes from him. The implication was sinister and cruel. There is a historical context that vastly changes the flow of this conversation. A context that you don't want to address plainly.

"This is just a joke, right?" You gulped dryly. Despite your treacherous nerves, you made a joke. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

He raised an eyebrow.

Alhaitham steadily reduced the gap between you two by holding your chair with both hands. Before you could realize it, he had already closed off all means of escape. You felt his breathing brush against you. Every inch of your body begged for a sprint as his green-orange eyes peered through your soul, calculating as they had always been.

You need to leave.

"You're going to brush off the rest of what you've read and focus on such a minor detail? You're not going to ask if I have feelings for you like a normal person?"

His breath smelled like coffee.

"I would if this fucking letter sounded anywhere close to normal!" You yell-whispered.

You combed your hair back with your fingers, feeling your entire body shaken by his implied agreement. 

"Shit, Alhaitham… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell your ears out– I'm just a bit…" You laughed, sinking your weight on the chair's cross rail but he inched closer, maintaining the distance you had before. "Moved? I'm so bad at vocab, is that the word? Yeah, moved by that love letter, I suppose."

"Don't be sarcastic. You're frightened."

You scoffed.

"D-Duh, making jokes is a coping mechanism. Something you wouldn't relate to, I know."

He didn't move from his position.

You breathed in sharply. "What?"

"You still haven't asked."

"Asked what?"

"If I like you romantically."

"W-Well, you still haven't answered me either."

"Answered what?"

"... Is it true? Are you stalking me?"

He did not hesitate to answer. "In a sense, yes."

What…?

Your stomach flipped at his nonchalant reply. He tilted your chin up. The short distance between you two began to diminish as you felt Alhaitham's hair against your cheek.

"How else would I know your dorm number if I didn't, right?"

You slapped his hand away. "You know what I meant. This isn't funny at all. Please answer me seriously."

"I thought you think of me as a guardian angel. You wanted the truth and I gave you my thoughts." Alhaitham pressed. 

You don't want to believe it.

You don't want to acknowledge that it was someone you trusted who forced you to bed.

"I am stalking you. Tell me– who else would've fucked you senseless that night? Go on, tell me, (Y/n)."

But you knew deep down that it was him.

You shoved him off, but he was stronger than you are. You've seen him in action, he did not lie when fighting eremites are child's play to him. You're his study partner, and you, unfortunately, know him best as he stated in that letter.

Dorm 569. That night was a blur and you've changed rooms since then. Another student, Soraya, began living in your old room. You couldn't bear to visit and see how the freshman was doing. 

You never actively seek parties, and Alhaitham was the same. But one night, you both decided to finally experience the infamous "college life" by attending one. Your brain refused to unfold everything that transpired. Pieces of your conversations occasionally resurface, but they're all mundane yet bitter. Retracing your steps had a major discrepancy from drinking beer to waking up in your dorm with a broken door.

Nothing explained why your study partner was naked beside you, lovingly caressing your hair.

"Were you fantasizing about another man? One of our seniors, perhaps? Are you one of those people who get off on unbalanced relationship dynamics?" 

There was no explanation as to why you woke up screaming. 

And there were no words spoken about it the next time you bumped into each other.

He never mentioned it again.

And you foolishly thought that was the end of it.

"S-Stop…"

"If not our old seniors…  Was it our Ethics professor?"

Your heart dropped.

Alhaitham laughed. His usually calm green-orange eyes that soothed you swirled with what you assumed was jealousy and self-loathing. Two emotions you have not seen before, or at least, did not acknowledge.

You both knew you were scared to face reality. But he doesn't want to play these mind games any longer. Alhaitham already decided on it. You will recall everything. 

His grip on your chin tightened. 

"It's him, correct? I won't forget the way you moaned 'Sir' when I pulled your hair. If I wasn't confident, I wouldn't be wearing this stupid pair of glasses and uniform just to woo you."

You could no longer speak. Alhaitham took it as permission to do anything he wants with you. Just like that night.

His lengthy fingers pinched your inner thigh.

"Then again, I don't think I can keep acting like him. Spiking a drink would be in his list of unforgivable actions I'm sure."

You trembled.

"Still won't answer, (Y/n)? Or would you prefer I call you Mx. (L/n)?"

Alhaitham scoffed, grinning.

"You don't have to answer. We have the classroom all to ourselves to test that hypothesis."

#yandere al haitham #yandere alhaitham #yandere al haitham x reader #yandere alhaitham x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere #yandere genshin #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere fanfiction #yandere oneshot #yandere genshin imagines #yandere male #tag: w - alhaitham #alhaitham #technically aint? but oh well lol #idk what tumblr wants from me #ansy-writes

[mysticalsoot]

hi Connor! can i request a hurt/comfort cc!Wilbur x reader in which reader's going through a rough path of mental health? to be more specific, a lot happened and they're overwhelmed, their mind is all over the place and they need someone to assure them that they're human and not some sort of flickering ghost like they thought. it'd be nice if there's no pronoun in the writing and Wilbur holding reader hands, squeeze it to remind them that they're human :)

don't lock yourself away (request)

A/N; this took me too many months to get to you and for that, I am sorry- but here it is!! I'm trying to work more and more on my requests so hopefully this is the start of many more request posts!!

summary; reader goes through a rough patch mentally and sort of disappears and wilbur gets fed up, taking matters into his own hands and reminding reader that they aren't all what their brain says they are :)

tw// swearing, $uicidal ideation a bit, negative thoughts, depression, dissociation (some), uhh I think that's all?

words; 1.5k

pairings; cc!wilbur x gn!reader

pronouns; none, at least one use of y/n tho!!

masterlist

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Like most other people, your mental health wasn't always the most steady. You'd come and go between happy, good days and depressing, bad days. Most of the time, your depressive episodes didn't even have much of a cause. Your mental health was simply a precariously stacked pile of things with one last feather on the top, and when it would touch the tower of reasons, it'd cause it to fall over.

You weren't sure what your reason was this time. But nonetheless, whatever it was; threw you over the pier into the ocean of despair. It's been a week since you left your flat, and you stopped answering calls and texts five days ago, and now you felt as though you were rotting—but in the comfort of your sheets and pillows.

Rotting away in comfort sounded like a good way to go, your eyes slipping shut to never open again—you stopped yourself every time you thought that. It was easy to succumb to the negative and end all thoughts but you managed to stop yourself—at least this time you did.

Your phone was most definitely dead and Wilbur knew that. Every call he sent through would go straight to voicemail and every text went unanswered. He understood if you were busy, but it had been so many days since anybody heard you from. And yeah, he was on tour for half of your isolation from the world—but he still cared. He really really cared, but he didn't know what to do. What was he supposed to do?

He’d called and texted and even went to your apartment with his spare key--but it didn’t fit. And you weren’t answering your door either.

Maybe he had an old key or maybe your apartment building changed the locks while he was gone and you didn't get the chance to tell him—hypotheticals aside, he had no real idea of what had happened or what was going on. And that scared him. It terrified him, actually.

It was a fear that went deep in his bones, that maybe something had happened and no one noticed or told him and he'd never find out why. Your door wasn't working, you weren't answering his calls and texts, what else was he meant to think? He tried knocking, truly he did, but there was still no response or sounds

He tried everything but it wouldn't budge, so he resorted to resting against the door as he sat on the carpeted hall. He'd wait here as long as he needed to. And so he messaged Tommy that he wouldn't be able to do a vlog with him tomorrow and he settled in to figure out what to do. He wasn't sure if he cared about being polite, maybe he should find a way to break in, just so he can make sure you're okay—but that would probably scare you and he can't risk that, can he?

At this point, he might as well. He brings himself back to his feet and grabs a safety pin he left in his wallet—mostly just to pick the lock at his office when he locked himself in, because whatever genius engineer decided the lock of his office's doors should be on the outside also made it very difficult to keep unlocked. It was like the doors had minds of their own. It was a few moments before he heard a click and he muttered a phrase of excitement before he jingled the door open and closed it behind him when he stepped a foot into your apartment.

He gazes around for any sign of you or life in general and not much was found. Surprisingly, things were decently tidy, there weren't any dishes or chores undone—which was unusual for what he assumed to be a depressive episode but he shrugged it off and beelined for your bedroom after dropping his keys in the bowl next to the door. He's quick to shuffle the door open and his eyes almost immediately land on your curled form.

You're laying under the covers, curled up into yourself and you're silent. Wilbur steps closer to the bed and he calls out for you, "Love?" He steps closer again, "Darling?"

You mumble something incoherent and he's taken aback by how out of it you are-- how unlike yourself you are. He finds his spot next to you and lays a hand on your hip, “Y/N?”

You don’t respond, keeping to yourself, trying to still your breaths--make yourself disappear into the mattress. Maybe he won’t ask questions then, maybe he’ll go away if you don’t answer.

He pulls away his hand a whine nearly drawls itself from your throat, you liked that but you’d never admit it in this state.

“I know you're not going to answer me, so I’m going to tell you what I think and hope you're listening, okay?” He turns on his side to face you, your eyes are wide open now and he smiles a bit to himself, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I think you feel like a shell. You do this a lot, when you're upset or in a funk. I know you can’t help it, I know it's human nature to hide away within yourself and your safe spaces. I don’t blame you, my love. But I need some assurance I’m not going to lose you, okay? A simple nod now or a simple word texted to me later when you feel yourself spiraling. So I can be there for you, I want to be but you have to let me first.”

During his small speech, you found yourself curling into the fetal position, hiding your face in the covers and by your pillows. You closed your eyes and you felt that pang of guilt in your chest despite his reassuring words.

“You’re here, you’re real, and you’re loved, okay?” He nods softly to himself, lips forming a thin line as he crawls out of the bed, “I’ll be out in the living room if you need me, okay? Come talk to me when you feel like it.”

His words echoed in your mind as you heard him leave the door cracked behind him. You felt terrible for making him feel as scared as he must be, yet you still needed a minute and you hoped that was enough. You opened your eyes, carefully eyeing the crack of light through the door, feeling yourself getting heavier with sleep, your eyes drooping shut.

A few hours later and your eyes were opening and a yawn was let out as you stretched, reaching over at Wilbur’s side of the bed only to find it cold. You felt better now, for some odd reason, and as memories of a few hours prior seeped in, you knew why. Maybe isolating yourself only made you feel more alien and the thought of his words so kind and so careful was so beautifully overwhelming. It was something you weren’t sure you could ever have a full grasp upon. Someone loving you as deeply and as carefully as Wilbur does.

You didn’t take much thought as you tossed your legs over the side of the bed, pushing yourself up to stand, ignoring the ache in your muscles as you dragged yourself over to the door and being methodical with how slow you opened the door--avoiding any screeches of the hinges. And then you were careful again, taking soft steps towards the living room, and when there was no sight of Wilbur, you pattered over to the kitchen. Being fully sure you were quiet and slow as you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his stomach and pressing the side of your head against his back. You felt him relax under your touch, any tension or worry completely fizzling from his being.

“I feel transparent, Wil. Like a ghost wandering aimlessly through life. I don't feel real, y’know?” You hum softly against his back, pressing soft and careful kisses against his back. He turns in your grasp to face you, leaning against the counter as he uses his pointer finger to lift your chin up so your eyes meet his. Only a soft love is held in his eyes, almost a promise in the way they glisten. An unspoken promise of forever.

“You aren’t a ghost, you’re a star. Everyone looks up at your shining light and thinks of how beautiful and wonderful it is to exist at the same time as a sight like that,” He moved his hands behind his back to grasp yours. The hold was gentle as he met your eyes again, voice merely a whisper, “You’re real, you’re special, you’re important.”

He squeezed your hands with every word and you nodded gently, a playful smile forming, a gentle scoff following, “I feel compelled to believe you.”

“Well, you should,” He smiled wider, moving his hands to rest on your sides, pulling you flush against him, “Now, do me a favor and, don’t lock yourself away.”

You nod in agreement, “I won’t, I promise.”

taglist; @sleepyburs @ella-fella-bo-bella @lillylvjy

#wilbur soot #cc!wilbur #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur #cc!wilbur x reader #cc!wilbur soot x male reader #cc!wilbur soot #wilbur gold #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur x reader #dsmp wilbur

[multifandomfanficss]

Why Is This So Surprising?

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

(With cameos from all of the 11th Street Kids)

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: The team sees a softer side to Adrian when his partner gets upset.

Warnings: Descriptions of something similar to a panic attack or autistic meltdown

A/N: So funny story this has actually been in my drafts for almost year and I forgot about it because I broke my phone the week I wrote it and got a new phone, but I’m thinking of maybe ending my hiatus and coming back soon. In the meantime I have some old fics I never posted. College and my mental health got in the way and I never got to finish some old WIPs, but I think I might finally be ready to pick them back up again! Hope you enjoy! ❤️🧜‍♂️❤️

You felt your breath catch in your throat as your lungs expand and contract trying to get air in. You were trying to forget about the mission you had just been on and you were having little success. You were able to push down your emotions on the car ride back to the old video store and you were currently staring at the piano, avoiding eye contact, in an effort to block out what Harcourt was saying. If you didn’t hear the debriefing it couldn’t be real, right? If you didn’t hear how terrible the mission went, it just simply didn’t happen. Sadly that wasn’t true. You found it getting harder for you to breathe. You pushed yourself up from your chair, getting ready to walk upstairs to be by yourself for a minute when you’re stopped by Harcourt.

“Where do you think you’re going? I didn’t say you could leave. This is important.” She starts.

“I don’t need a recap of this. Thanks.” You say, continuing upstairs, your voice cracking.

“Hey, (L/N), we all did things we aren’t proud of today-“

“You didn’t do what I did!” You yell at her. Suddenly the room starts spinning. It all just feels too real. You can feel everything and it’s too much. You hear a clock ticking, water rushing through pipes, feet slapping on the pavement outside, the click click clicking of heels, the electricity in the lights, the lights that just won’t stop flickering. You back up into a wall and slide down it, tears blocking your vision. You let a sob come out.

“What are we supposed to do?” Chris asks quietly, standing up and walking closer.

“I don’t fucking know! I’ve never seen them like this!” Harcourt whisper yells. Adebayo stands up and walks over to you, the rest of the team crowding around. They’re making it harder to breathe until you start hyperventilating.

“What can we do for you?” She asks.

“You guys can move the fuck over. Give them some space.” Adrian says, pushing his way through the crowd. “Somebody go get them some water.” He commands and John leaves the room to grab you a glass. “Are you pro touch or anti touch right now?” He asks, but you feel like you’re underwater. You feel like speaking is like moving through quicksand and you just can’t manage it. Adrian slowly puts his hand out towards you, like a wounded animal. He tries to take your hand in his and at first a little jumpy, you let him. He puts your hand over his chest and takes deep exaggerated breaths. “Follow my breathing, okay? In and out.” He instructs you and you breathe together. “You’re doing such a good job.” He praises. When your breathing becomes somewhat regulated Adrian moves so he’s sitting against the wall and you’re leaning against his chest. He’s giving you the pressure you so desperately need, as he sways with you. He brings you back to this planet. Slowly, gravity starts to feel normal again. Now that you can breathe a steady stream of tears starts to flow. He wipes them occasionally as you lay with your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat drown out the other noises that were too loud. “It wasn’t your fault. You did your best. You’re okay. Everything is okay.” He reminds you. John hands him the glass of water. “Here, (Y/N), drink this. You need to stay hydrated.” Adrian reminds you, as you take the glass of water. It feels cool against your throat which had previously felt like fire. “Thank you.” Adrian says to John.

“You’re welcome.” John responds. The rest of the team just stares. They’ve been staring the whole time. You don’t even notice the stares and neither does Adrian. Your minds are on more important matters. You completely forget they’re there until they start to speak up.

“How did you know what to do?” Harcourt asks.

“What do you mean?” Adrian answers her question with another question.

“Well we didn’t even know what to do and you say you don’t have emotions.” John comments.

“I say I don’t have emotions like other people. That doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions. I just have them differently.” He clarifies.

“Well you clearly don’t know what to do when I’m crying.” Chris starts. He then clears his throat. “I mean if I had cried you wouldn’t know what to do. Because I never cry! Crying is for babies!” He adds. Adebayo gives him a look and Harcourt slaps him on the arm.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Harcourt whisper yells. You don’t take offense to his comment. You know he has masculinity issues.

“First of all crying is healthy. It’s a fundamental part of human nature. Second of all they’re my partner. We’ve slept in the same bed for over a year. I’d think I’d know how to take care of them. Why is this so surprising?” Adrian roles his eyes at the others while they shrug. Everyone has something to say, but they just decide to keep their mouths shut. As the tears start to slow, you shift in his arms, getting more comfortable. You don’t realize how tired you are until your eyes start to get heavy after you’ve made it to a comfortable position. You look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Can we go home now?” You ask.

“Of course, Babe.” He says, planting a kiss on the top of your head. Adrian moves you off of his lap, stands, and reaches out a hand for you to lift yourself up with. The others wish you well as you collect your things to go home.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to come in tomorrow. Get some rest…and Chase…I’m sorry we underestimated you.” Harcourt tells the both of you. You can’t see your boyfriend’s goofy smile in the dark of the night outside the video store, but you can hear it in his voice as he thanks Harcourt and bids his goodbye. When you get home Adrian puts you in his softest t-shirt and you climb into bed. He pulls you to lay on him and you don’t object. You enjoy the feeling of his chest rising and falling and the sound of his heartbeat. You like that you can hear it better now that his suit is off. It’s comforting. He’s comforting.

#fanfic #fanfiction #adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #freddie stroma #peacemaker imagine #peacemaker fanfiction #peacemaker oneshot #peacemaker fanfic #peacemaker hbo max #peacemaker dc #peacemaker #vigilante fanfiction #vigilante oneshot #vigilante fanfic #vigilante imagine #vigilante x reader #vigilante #emilia harcourt #john economos #leota adebayo #chris smith #christopher smith #11th street kids #11th street kids x reader

[trafalgarya]

How is it like to be in a relationship with Kara members ?

With : Eida, Delta, Daemon, Code, Amado, Kashin Koji, Jigen/Isshiki.

gn!reader.

manga spoilers.

aged up Daemon.

brief mention of depression, autism, and insomnia.

SFW only!! i'll write a NSFW part if you guys want it.

i'm not currently reading the manga, so i don't know much about Eida. i'll just go with the flow and with what i know about her.

Eida

Being in a relationship with Eida is extraordinarily romantic.

She'll definitely call you pet names. "Darling", "Sweetheart", "Pretty boy/girl", or simply "My love".

Because of her ability, she's used of everyone falling in love with her. But with you ? Completely different.

She didn't even had to use her power to capture your heart. Being the charismatic and elegant person Eida is, she made an extraordinary first impression without even trying.

I think she would prefer a person just like her, calm and confident. She wouldn't mind an energetic person too, but that reminds her too much of her little brother, Daemon.

She'll act like a mother to you, always making sure you drank and ate well enough, got enough sleeping, being in good health, etc. She'll be very caring with you.

She wants her S/O to be perfect. Not superficially, but more like mentally. She wants her S/O to be the happiest person because of her. She want to please them, to be the center of their life. But in a cute way, not like in a possessive way.

She's into traditional things. Just offer her flowers, dance with her, hug her while she's cooking, kiss her slowly but gently in her neck, and i can assure you she'll be at your feet. She'll be melted by all that.

Her main love languages are physical touch, words of affirmations, and acts of service. She can't help but want to touch you every time. It doesn't even have to be sexual. She just want to hold your hand, feeling your hand around her waist, your lips against hers, your fingers on her hips. She's also pretty eloquent, so she'll recomfort you whenever you are in a bad mood or something. She'll give you plenty of compliments, kissing all your insecurities and looking at you with a look full of love. She also demonstrates her love by buying you something you love, taking you on amusement park, eating ice cream with you. Everything.

She. Will. Introduce. You. To. Her. Brother. That's not even an option. He sometimes insert himself in your dates, just to be sure you aren't tempting to hurt his precious sister. Boy have his eyes locked on you. He already threatened to kill you if you dare hurting her. But Eida reassures him, so he's more and more relaxed with you as time passes by.

Overall, she loves you very much. She's a really romantic and loving person. Don't hurt her little heart who's craving love, she trust you very much.

Delta

MOMMY.

Listen, i adore her very much.

And, i was genuinely surprised at her reaction when she understood she loved Eida- She was romantically totally different in my head 😭.

Anyways-

Her love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, as showed in the manga.

V E R Y C L I N G Y. She will always hug you or hold your hand whenever she can.

She would be so protective of you. If you don't feel safe, wherever you are, just tell her where you are and she'll come at the speed of light. Literally. (considering the fact that she can manipulate light, that's not an hyperbole 💀)

Very clingy in bed, always hugging you.

She's the big spoon tho, i just can't imagine this woman being the little spoon.

I don't feel like she'd use pet names for you. But if she do, it must have my/mine included. "My love" or "My angel" is what she'd use.

She's very understanding when it comes to problems or troubles. Depression ? If she can do something, she won't hesit once. Autism ? Although she's not the best emotion-wise, she'll try her best to help you. Difficulty to sleep ? She won't sleep until you're asleep first. She'll make you feel loved, protected and safe, whatever the situation is.

Definitely showering you in kisses as she's wrapping her arms around you, bringing you on her lap, and kisses each one of your insecurities separately.

Not the biggest fan of PDA, but she won't hesitate to hold your hand or kissing your cheek quickly, often followed by Code teasing Delta for being such a "dovey-lovey".

She'll always keep an eye on you. Whether you're sleeping or just sitting at her side doing nothing, she'll stare at you at each and every moment of your life.

Overall, Delta is very supportive of you, encouraging you if you want do to something, and she's too much in love with you to even considering being close of someone else.

Daemon (aged up)

Being in a relationship with Daemon is... very energetic...

Bro has too much energy.

At this point, you're acting more like a parent than a lover for him.

Introduced you to her sister two minutes after knowing you. No, i'm not lying.

He attached himself too fast, so Eida isn't surprised when she met another one of his little brother's potentiel love interest.

But, this time, she felt it was different. Daemon loved you very much, it was not like usually. The blush on his face and the big smile he's letting appear while near you, or just talking about you, made Eida genuinely happy. Her brother was finally serious in a relationship. Thus, she'd be more relaxed and friendly with you.

Daemon would certainly share his meals with you. I think his favourite food is ice cream, so you'll always buy an ice-cream for both.

Whenever he feels bored or tired, he's directly coming to you with that childish tone and this amusing walk.

"Y/NNNNNN... 'am sleepy..."

Rubbing his eyes, he's just too cute for you to say no. He always ends up with his head on your lap or just him sitting on it, his arms around your waist/neck, and a cute sleepy face. Snoring a bit, adding more to his cuteness.

If you're walking outside, except him to be on your shoulders, playing with your hair, a big and innocent smile on his face.

Protecting you won't be a problem. His power can literally reflect any attack as long as it's intended or vizualised. All he has to do is touching you with his palm (he would use that as a pretext to hold your hand btw), and reflecting the attack as he's hiding your eyes. But he's also physically strong, so he would just jump on the person and kicking him until he's unconscious and coming back to you like a flower, as he didn't just beat the shit out of someone.

I think you've guessed it : Definitely into PDA. Always on your shoulders, holding your head, or kissing you.

Definitely using too much pet names for you. "Baby" and "Darling" are his favourites.

Clinging to you when sleeping. Definitely the little spoon.

Eida trust you very much. Whenever she can't take care of Daemon, she won't be as worry as she usually would. Because you're here now.

I don't think Daemon would really have a type. Someone who accept him for who he is is enough.

Overall, Daemon loves you too. He act more like your child than your boyfriend but yeah-.

Code

A relationship with Code is pretty chill.

Sorry, this part will be short, i don't have too many ideas for him.

Definitely refers to you as "Darling".

When you're outside, he always have an arm around your shoulders, not giving a fuck about what people think of you or your relationship.

Proud to have you in his life and won't even hide it.

Definitely brought you to Delta, and teased her, saying he's loved, not like her.

He's the only man of your life, even if you don't want it.

Like, you remind about how Code wanted to kill Daemon just to be the only man to Eida ? Basically the same with everyone that's a love rival to him.

He'll rant to you about his admiration to Jigen, but also will vent about how much he hates Kawaki and that he should've took his place as Isshiki's vessel.

Want to stay with you everytime.

His favourite type of kiss is the French Kiss. Long, passionate, sensual, intimate... All that.

Not the biggest fan of PDA, but not against it.

Overall, a relationship with Code is pretty chill. He loves you and don't hide it. He's proud of you. "That's my S/O", he'd say.

Amado

A relationship with Amado is the concept of maturity itself.

You two are probably taking breakfast together, and you love coffee as much as he did.

You're smoking together too. I can see Amado smoking on the balcony of his house, with his S/O. If you're not smoking, however, he's fine with just having you by on his sides. And if you don't like the smell of cigarette, that's fine with him too. He'll smoke whenever he's away from you.

You two will talk about everything while he's working on Kara's bodies. If you want to, he'll explain every single step he's doing on his computer.

You're probably in good terms with Jigen, as he seemed to consider Amado as a friend.

He won't be as affectionate as Delta is, but he's sure to remind you everyday that he loves you. Not even compliments, maybe just making your breakfast or helping you with whatever is your problem.

Amado is a great listener. Just tell him whatever is stressing you, and he'll make it his priority. He wants to make you know that he's here for you.

I can see Amado having an arm around your waist as you're walking outside.

He'll let you rest your head against his chest as you two are sleeping. Probably smell like cigarette, coffee or just the man smell. You know, the virility smell. Something like this.

You two definitely have kids. I can see Amado as a great dad, always proud of their kids, patting their head as they bring a great note at school.

If you're feeling sick, Amado's got it. He'll bring you glasses of water in bed as he's putting a little watered towel on your forehead, slowly rubbing your back.

He'd definitely want someone like him, calm and patient. Smart, too. He doesn't care about your body, he loves who for who you are inside, not outside.

Overall, Amado is such a good husband. Always taking care of you and being a good person. He loves you very much and would show it.

Kashin Koji

A relationship with Kashin Koji is... well... complicated ?

Like, he was always shown with a neutral and reserved face, also frowning. He didn't really showed an emotion through the entire show, except when he was about to die to Isshiki.

He loves you, ofc, and you know it. He just don't really know how to show it.

That'll be little attentions, like keeping an eye on you with his toads, and he'll intervene if the situation become bad. He don't bring about it later though.

I do believe Kashin Koji is flustered whenever he have to hug you or whatever.

If you need calm sometimes, he'll grab your hand and enter in one of his toad with you, either just enjoying the view or sending both of you to Mount Myōboku.

That man is smart, so when you are sad or stressed, he immediately see it. He'd leave you your favourite food or your favourite book if he isn't in house.

...

I don't have any ideas... So...

Overall, Kashin Koji loves you, but can't really express it directly. Instead, it'll be with little actions.

Jigen/Isshiki Ōtsutsuki

They're the same person, so just pick the one you want. I'll speak in both of their names for you to interchange.

Anyways, a relationship with Jigen/Isshiki is quite reserved and discreet.

Jigen/Isshiki himself is a discreet and reserved person, so no doubt that he'll prefer someone like him.

He'll let you sit on his lap if you want to, while he's reading a book or if he's resting.

Not into PDA. Sorry man.

If you have to carry something big, just ask Jigen/Isshiki. He'll either carry it himself or reducing it with Sukunahikona.

Only smiling frankly around you. And that's rare.

He'll let Amado take care of you if he can't. He trust him like a friend, so yeah. Oh and, you're in good terms with Amado btw.

You broke something precious ? Don't worry, Jigen/Isshiki already made tons of copies of this object and sent them in his dimension where time doesn't flow. He'll just bring it to you and pat your head. He'd say something like "There, there. You don't have to worry anymore."

It doesn't seem like it, but he's an affectionate man when he wants to. He'll bring you in a soft, warm hug if you're feeling down, just rubbing your back and letting you vent. He'll listen all of it.

If it's because a Kara member, be sure you'll never see them anymore. If that's because someone else, you won't see them anymore too. It it's something else, just leave it to him. He'll solve the problem in little to no time.

Would give you the world if you wanted to. He just want to see his S/O happy.

The only pet name he'll use is "Dear". But in front of others, he'll simply call you by your name in a soft tone.

He'll protect you from every danger. It's not like it's a big deal after all. He effortlessly beat Naruto and Sasuke together. If it wasn't for the Baryon Mode, they'd be dead by now.

Code won't be a big deal too. Even though he's stronger than Jigen/Isshiki, he respect him too much to even consider hurting you.

Little naps in the middle of the day, a plaid between the two of us, his arm around your waist. You couldn't feel safer than in Jigen/Isshiki Ōtsutsuki's presence. You know how strong he is and how much he'd do for you.

Overall, a relationship with Jigen/Isshiki is discreet and calm but loving and romantic.

#boruto #boruto naruto next generations #kara x reader #eida x reader #delta x reader #daemon x reader #amado sanzu x reader #sanzu amado x reader #amado x reader #code x reader #kashin koji x reader #koji kashin x reader #jigen x reader #isshiki x reader #kara #eida #delta #code #daemon #amado #amado sanzu #sanzu amado #kashin koji #kashin #koji #koji kashin #jigen #isshiki otsutsuki #otsutsuki isshiki #isshiki

[wifeyana]

Hey are you taking requests? If so l would love to place one of Rengoku x fem reader who feels sad and depressed that she failed her exam. A mixture of sweet fluff and comfort would be nice. Take your time and it can be short. If you can't write it I'll understand ❤️

Dear anon, I'm not a writer on here but since you asked so nicely I'll try something just for you~ This is gonna serve as writing practice! This prompt is also very relatable because I may or may not have failed my exam... anyways, on with the show!

Warnings : a pinch of depression? Just comfort!

It's Not The End...

"Good luck on your exam!" His voice was as cheerful as ever when he wished [Name] luck, a huge grin on his face. He had been helping her study, even going as far as staying up with her to study. He made coffee for her and made her take breaks so she wouldn't make it a habit of staying up that late. Kyojuro was very strict about health and staying healthy.

She had walked into the exam hall, confident that she would be able to tackle the paper with ease. And for a moment she did. Her eyes lit up when she saw the kind of questions she was to answer. Just for a second before she realized that she had in fact not studied those particular topics. She had completely forgotten to actually go through those topics, simply skimming over the title. A feeling of dread washed over her as her hand trembled ever so slightly, the tip of the pen stuck in one place for over fifteen minutes. Her eyes darted around as she tried to recall something, anything to write. Eventually, after a long while she finally remembered something to write down. When she walked out of that exam hall she would have been fine, perfectly fine if she didn't hear her classmates discussing the correct answers. The answers she did not write.

Kyojuro had come from work rather late to their shared apartment. Usually when he came late he would find [Name] watching a movie or something, wrapped up in blankets on the couch, but tonight she wasn't there, the rooms were dark and the apartment seemed to be completely silent. This caused Kyojuro to panic just a bit. Turning on the lights, he almost jumped in surprise when he saw her hugging her knees in the corner of the room. He let out a sigh and approached her, relieved that she was there. He knelt by her side and tipped her head upwards to look into her eyes. For a moment, the two were completely wordless, just looking into each other's eyes as if having a mental conversation. What broke the silence was [Name]'s sobbing. It seemed to appear out of nowhere, making Kyojuro's initial slight panic worse. He cupped her face in his hands and offered her a smile.

“Do you want to talk?” His question was responded with a nod and a shaky “Yes.”

And so he listened. He listened to her talk about how she was convinced she had failed her promotional exam and how disappointed she was in herself. Her wording was a little incoherent but he understood every single thing she meant, his expression softening. He was a teacher, he was used to seeing students break down over not passing an exam. Listening to these students was a learning experience for him, he had noticed that different people react differently towards their education. And even now his own partner was breaking down in front of him.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her head close to his chest, his voice a hushed whispers, a stark contrast to his usual boisterous behavior. “Shh...it's okay, I know how important this was for you... I know you're worried about your final grade but I also know that you're a remarkable student, so smart” he started, pulling from the hug to press his forehead to hers, his lips curving up into a smile. “Smart and so so gorgeous darling...” The comment caused her to snort before bursting into a fit of giggles. “That has nothing to do with it but I feel the need to remind my beautiful baby that she's beautiful” he laughs with her and presses a kiss to her cheek.

“My point is, this isn't the end of the world, I know you, and I know that things don't always go as planned, you'll be alright, okay? Now have you eaten?” His eyes widen in mock shock as he gasped dramatically. He was about to lecture her on her health again.

Ohh this has been in my drafts for over a month I think... I can finally stop feeling guilty when I'm doing everything but writing. But this was fun!! I would like more requests(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) anyways Anon, tysm and it's not the best but I hope you like it!!!

#demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kny fandom #kny fanfic #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kny x reader #rengoku kyojurou #kyojuro #rengoku kyōjurō #rengoku kyoujurou #kyojuro rengoku x reader #kny kyojuro #kny Kyojuro x reader #x reader #I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATEEEEEEEEEEE #Naa writes something ✍🏽

[shirogane-oushirou]

edit: i decided this would drive me nuts, but i still want to keep it in case there's something worth salvaging in the future. ignore all of this ^_^

for some reason i'm interested the idea of poke!ren beginning our friendship with that like... unintentional infantilization a lot of people do with disabled people when they're trying not to be actively ableist? not because i enjoy that LMAO ABSOLUTELY NOT -- and my pokesona is prideful as hell and would DESPISE it -- but i think it would make sense.

[cw casual ableism, infantilism of disabled ppl. also, disclaimer: i'm basing some of this loosely on my own health issues so it may not 100% apply to all disabled people. just want to keep that straight LMAO.]

most many doctors are SUPREMELY ableist, but doc!ren went into his field SPECIFICALLY to help disabled people and so focused on how best to treat each individual person according to their personalities and disabilities. sure, poke!ren's also technically both a clinical doc and researcher, but if doc!ren is like 80% clinical 20% research, poke!ren is like 10% clinical 90% research.

so poke!ren... doesn't have that knowledge. he does mostly field work and some lab work, with the rare "what do you think about this specific medical case?" appointment. he's the kind of person who hates the more vocal brands of ableism, but is consistently overbearing with his treatment of disabled people in a way that's inadvertently exhausting to deal with because "what happens if i tell him this is also ableist? will he have a fit? will he get angry or upset? will he decide disabled people are too picky if i'm not the Perfect Disabled Little Meow Meow?" so you just end up suffering through it.

therefore, he goes full "paper skin, glass bones," with me, very, "oh i can get that for you! no don't stand up, i can do that. can i cook something for you? no no no, i mean, i know you COULD, but wouldn't it be /easier/ for me to make it for you? you might hurt yourself!". 🙄

we have an evening outing in another city. it gets dark, we're not at the point where we're comfortable staying at his place together, he offers to maybe help me find a hotel, and i say "nope i've got this!" and fly away home on a Fucking Lugia.

and then he has to sit with that and realize some things.

like the fact that he has no idea who the fuck i am beyond surface level. after all, i've been carrying a legendary bird around in my back pocket and he didn't know until now, months after we first met.

like the fact that i can take care of SOME things by myself with the right "tools" or pkmn. i SOMETIMES need help, but i don't ALWAYS need help, and if i DO need help i have the option to tell him myself.

like the fact that he simply saw me as Disabled. as though i didn't have a life before or outside of Disability. i was simply the pitiable, lonely, disabled vn nerd he talks about games with.

and then he has to relearn Me from square one, and it makes our relationship so much stronger. we're able to work on our perfect balance together and build the trust that HE won't take things over for ME when I'M capable of something, and that I will let HIM know when i need HIM to do something I can't do. he has to trust that i'll let him be more doting on the days when i'm having flare-ups, but simultaneously has to respect when there are things i still want to do myself even on those worst days.

.........idk. this is a lot of words to say "god i want to be taken care of, but in a way where the other person sees me as an adult with a personality and decision-making ability and a life that's deeply AFFECTED by disability in many ways but isn't JUST disability." yk?

tbch, after writing it all out, this maaaay end up as canon..... OR it might remain a theoretical offshoot depending on how comfy i am when the Mental Movies (tm) of us finding that trust come together. poke!ren's supposed to be like. PURE escapism, so something like this honestly might hit too close to home to feel good fdhfghfg. like at least he'd end up learning that balance, which is nice... but everything leading up to it? 😬 Maybe A Bit Too Painful....

(damn. verbose king over here, wrote all of this TWICE just to say "i might throw it out" lKNMADKJFNKJDNF)

#first made this after a 'well meaning' purchase of an unsafe food brand by family the other day but it was more vitriolic kJNSJKDFN #so i forced myself to sit on it instead of vent-posting. and now the tone's MUCH nicer kjdfnkjdfn ;;;;; #📌 [ my posts. ] #✏️ [ my scenarios. ] #✨ [ oc lore. ] #🐸 [ look ahead. ] #🦔 [ used to be easy. ] #ableism -

[pappydaddy]

perfect strangers i (n.g.)

this is cut off right before it gets dark. not proofread.

warnings, synopsis, etc listened in the series discretion linked here

warnings: gun is prominent in this fic | manipulation | lying | betrayal | shock | catatonic state | dead body | death | being hunted | almost dying | shooting/shots fired | panic | police interactions with reader | reader being arrested | arresting scene not being realistic bc i did not want to write it how American police would handle it

this is a very dark fic, reader’s discretion is advised. please, if you do not think you can handle this level of darkness, stop reading immediately. also, if you feel uncomfortable/triggered/etc. stop reading immediately!! your mental health and safety is more important than reading a fic!

taglist: @rottenstyx | @rootbeerfaygo

part i | part ii | part iii

navigation | masterlist | taglist sign-up

- not my gif -

Camp. It was Y/N’s favourite time of the summer. It was like a giant sleepover. Of course, she wasn’t too much of a fan of having to spend this time with Sunnyvalers, but there was really no way to prevent that from happening. However, there was one Sunnyvale occupant that Y/N did not mind. Nick Goode. Nick, the son of the Sheriff who overlooked both Sunnyvale and Shadyside, was Y/N’s boyfriend - secret boyfriend. It was secret for good reasons too, if news broke that someone from Sunnyvale and someone from Shadyside was dating, they would both be shunned. 

  Y/N was okay with it, it was how it had to be until they were able to get out of the politics of high school, but sometimes, she just wished he would get over his Sunnyvale pride and admit that he liked her. It was different for him. Surviving in Shadyside was a group effort. Y/N couldn’t be the one to out their relationship, she would be a goner socially and actually. With all the murders that happen in Shadyside, you had to have a group of friends, it was impossible to survive without one. The people in Sunnyvale lived perfectly happy and safe lives. They were rich and they didn’t have a high rate of murder. Nick could easily come forward about his love for Y/N and not reap the horrible consequences Y/N would. 

  “Hey, stop snooping around here, Shadysider,” A sneer of a Sunnyvale camper hissed from the porch of a cabin. Y/N, simply walking by on her way to the mess hall, glared at the blonde girl from the corner of her eye, continuing past. “If I find a single on of my things missing, you don’t have to worry about Shadyside murderers coming after you - I’ll finish you off.” She threw the blatant threat like a fireball at Y/N, making the girl stop in her tracks. 

  “Is that so, Cassandra,” Y/N hummed, sauntering towards the steps of the porch. Of course, even at sleepaway camp, the Sunnyvale campers had to have the newly renovated cabins - only the best for them. Cassandra stood her ground, standing from the wooden bench she had been painting her fingernails on, the brush falling back into the bottle of ruby red nail polish perfectly. “You think you could take a Shadysider,” She taunted with a cock of her head as she stepped up onto the stairs. Cassandra stayed silent, a hard glare fixed on her face as she loomed over the flight of stairs Y/N was climbing, her arms crossed. “Guess what, Cassandra,” Y/N narrowed her eyes, stopping at the last step before the one Cassandra stood on. “Your threats mean nothing to me.” She whispered, the two girls locked in an intense stare off, trying to intimidate each other.

  “I think they should, I’m always going to have the upperhand when it comes to you. It’s how the world works, L/N,” Cassandra smiled sweetly at the girl, a condescending tone lacing her voice. “It’s how the world works - Sunnyvale over Shadyside.” With that, Cassandra’s palms flew up quickly, pressing against Y/N’s shoulders. With a shove, Y/N was teetering back, her arms flailing as she tried to keep her balance on the step. Her heart sank down to her feet, knowing exactly what was going to happen. A flash of white hot panic filled her, her eyes widening when she realised she was actively falling right now. 

  Pushing with her feet, Y/N avoided hitting the rest of the stairs on the way down, but she ended up falling flat on her back - right on the dirt pathway she had been walking on before Cassandra started the scuffle. Her body was rid of it’s breath, a gasp falling from her lips at the impact. For a second, Y/N could feel or hear anything, only seeing the light blue sky with the fluffy white clouds drifting along it, a cloud of dust and dirt blooming up around her - disturbed from her fall. With a full body cough that sent her body rippling over the dirt, Y/N’s senses returned. “Hey! What is going on here?” The voice of the very guy Y/N held on a pedestal. 

  Pushing herself up to sit, Y/N groaned, her eyes closing as her back screamed in pain. A stampede of footsteps were running towards the two, the Shadysiders crouching around Y/N and the Sunnyvalers clustering around Cassandra, glares being thrown either way. There, in the middle stood the brunette Nick Goode in all his nerdy but cute glory. Beside him was a blonde counsellor, Kurt. They were both counsellors for camp this year, meaning the Sunnyvale campers were invincible - with the Sheriff kid and one of Goode's closest family friends being counsellors, they got off with everything. Opening her eyes, Y/N saw Ziggy (her best friend) beside her, her hand rubbing Y/N’s back soothingly as she glared at Cassandra.

  “She started it,” Cassandra pointed to the weakened Y/N, playing the role of the victim perfectly. “I was just trying to paint my nails and all of a sudden she was running her mouth like a true Shadysider. I had to push her off the stairs, I feared for my safety! You never know with these Shadysiders!” 

  “Oh, that’s a load of shit! I was headed to the Mess Hall to gather my campers so I could give them their capture the flag shirts and she started to run her spoiled little mouth, getting her into something she wasn’t going to win.” Y/N recounted, pushing herself off the ground fully, Ziggy standing up with her. 

  Cassandra scoffed. “Why would I willingly converse with a piece of Shadyside trash-”

  “Cassandra, enough,” Kurt cut her off even though everyone knew he didn’t want to, but Kurt wasn’t dumb - the Shadysiders far outnumbered the Sunnyvalers in this little group, even with two consellours, it was an unfair fight. “Y/N, you’re a counsellor now, you can’t pick fights with the campers, I have to write you up.” With that, Kurt left, walking off towards the office to write her up. 

  Rolling her eyes, Y/N ignored this. Being written up was nothing, they never did anything about them, the camp needed counsellors like crazy, they weren’t going to turn Y/N away next year. Letting her eyes trail over to Nick, she hoped that he would take her side in this. He knew that she didn’t like to start shit, she liked to keep her head down and carry on with her life - especially when it came to dealing with Sunnyvale people.

  She felt a bit of hope as Nick’s dark eyes scanned her over before meeting her eyes. For a split second, Y/N felt hope that he would side with her. But it all came crashing down when he turned on his heel, facing Cassandra. Of course he wouldn’t defend her. He was a Goode, he couldn’t be seen defending a Shadysider. “You go in your cabin, take the night to calm down, okay, Cassandra? I’ll bring you your meals.” With that, Cassandra let out an evil smirk, eyes dancing in victory as she looked at Y/N. 

  Rolling her eyes, Y/N glared at the back of Nick’s head. Ziggy, watching her actions closely, let her eyes flick between her older best friend and the Sunnyvaler who was oblivious to Y/N’s glare and movement. Before Nick could whirl around to talk to her, Y/N wiped the bit of dirt on her cheek off, her eyes heavy on Nick’s form before she sauntered off towards the mess hall as she originally intended, Ziggy scrambling after her as the wheels in her head turned. 

____

  “Hey, Y/N,” Y/N heard her name as she looked over the sheet of where her campers were to be stationed during the game. Looking up from the list, she saw Nick weaving his way through the organised crowd, heading right for her group of campers. Ignoring him, she let her eyes fall back to the paper, but Nick didn’t get the hint. “Hey, we haven’t talked in the last few days, not since the incident.” Nick observed with an awkward scratching of the back of his neck. 

  “Wow, Goode,” Y/N drawled, lifting her eyes from the paper to glare at him. “With those keen observational skills, you’re sure to be Sheriff one day. Just like you’ve always dreamed.” She snapped sarcastically, looking back down at the paper, tilting the clipboard away from him as she pretended to write stuff on it. From the corner of her eye, she saw Nick wince, nodding as if he understood why she snapped at him. 

  “I get it, you’re upset with me, but-” He cut himself off. Even with his voice barely a whisper between them, the ever so youthful ears of Y/N’s campers had picked it up easily, evident by the way they were listening intently. Shocked at the campers eavesdropping, Nick let his eyes flick over the small group before looking pleadingly at Y/N. “Could we talk over there for a second?” He asked, nodding a few feet away from the crowd. 

  Y/N really didn’t want to, but she knew that Nick wouldn’t leave her alone until she let him talk. “Fine, but you only have a minute. I need to give these kids their placements and jobs for the game.” She gave in, tucking the clipboard under her arm, following the slightly taller boy. Stopping just far enough away so that nobody could hear their discussion, he gave a quick glance around, making sure nobody was around. 

  “I’m sorry for what happened, but you are a counsellor now, you can’t go picking fights with Sunnyvale people at camp, especially not campers.” Nick started off, Y/N’s jaw dropping as he placed all the blame on her. 

  “You still think I started that fight,” She asked, gesturing to herself with her hand. Hurt and betrayal were at the surface of her voice, unbelieving that her own boyfriend would assume she stirred the pot. “You should know me better than that, Goode. We’ve been dating for a year and you think I would pick a fight with a Sunnyvaler? A fight I know that I’ll be punished for?” She questioned. 

  “Cassandra said you started it and if you didn’t want to get in trouble, why did you climb the stairs to her?” Nick accused, his eyes narrowing at her comments, offence written on his face. Of course he knew her. She was his girlfriend after all. 

  Y/N scoffed, her eyes rolling so sharply and quickly that Nick thought they would pop right out of her sockets. “Of course Cassandra would say I started it, it’s a Sunnyvaler’s word over a Sahdysider’s,” She paused, eyes looking back at him, dead in the eyes. “And I climbed those stairs because if I am going to get blamed for something, might as well make it worth it, but-” She paused, glared hardening on Nick making him visibly gulp. “I thought that no matter how much trouble I got into, my boyfriend would think I was innocent. Even if he couldn’t show it, at least he wouldn’t side with the one who actually did start it.” 

  “Y/N-” 

  “No, Nick,” She stopped him before he could continue, his voice thick with indifference. She had no idea what he was about to say, but in case he was about to say something that would break her, she couldn’t allow him to continue, not when she had to make sure kids were safe. The Sunnyvalers played dirty during capture the flag, she needed to stay focused on the kids. “I can’t do this right now. Just leave me alone until after the game.”    With that, she turned around, once again leaving Nick standing there. This time, she could feel his eyes watching her retreating back as she walked back to her campers, immediately giving out their positions. “Looks like you guys all have the most important jobs, you all have to watch for Sunnyvale people trying to steal our flag,” Y/N announced, ignoring the burning of Nick’s eyes on her. “We’re defending this time and, lucky for you guys, I was the best defensive player when I was a camper. I have just the plan.”

#pappydaddy writes #nick goode #nick goode x reader #nick goode imagines #fear street imagines #fear street 1978 #fear street imagine #tw #trigger warning #nick goode angst #fear street masterlist #fear street trilogy #fear street netflix

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte. How do you separate the stunts from the people? I really struggle with Harry and Louis' images. It's partly to do with how other people perceive them, like Harry as a homewrecker and womanizer, and Louis as a homophobe. Then they do things to push these images. It's especially hard as a queer fan of Louis since the beginning and seeing how flamboyant and free he was and how proud and confident of his sexuality he was to then going deep into the closet and now people think he is homophobic. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that there are artists/actors etc forced in the closet and when ones eventually come out they always talk about how much it damaged their mental health and that they wish they CO earlier as they lost so much time. Because if more public figures CO it would pave the way for others to follow in their footsteps and it would give young lgbtq+s people to look up to, and it would normalize lgbtq+ people in industries like you keep saying. There is everything to gain with it, but the industry is clearly really corrupt and more and more dodgy stuff comes out in the news. It's even worse for Louis because he's saddled with a child that isn't his. Do you think anything will change anytime soon? Some people have CO but it's really far and few between.

Hi, anon!

I seperate the stunts from the people because i know who they really are. I know who they are after observing their behaviour, listening to them and picking up on their silent communication. I filter out the noice which are their lies, attempt at gaslighting and fake personas. I know they're both gay, so i don't listen to anyone who says differently. Like i don't listen to flat-earthers or people who believe trickle-down economics works. They're simply wrong, but there is no point in arguing with them. They don't have the information we do and they don't want to see it.

Since they're both gay they must be closeted. You can’t force anyone out of a closet, even if you feel there are no incentives left for them to stay closeted. I believe they're both forcibly closeted. I don't think L would take advantage of a child like he is to enforce his own closet. If i believed that i would hate him. So i don't think they're closeted by choice. Their behaviour over the years tells me this as well. They are fighting to get to be who they are, but they are prohibited by contracts and old fashioned label views.

Louis is viewed as a homophobe because of his past homophobic statements. But none of the people who view him as such know he's got a triangle tattoo, wore a rainbow apple t-shirt when Tim Cook came out, sings i love him i hate it and bathes his audience in rainbow lights. They also don't know he's closeted and with Harry. They don't know how closeting in Hollywood works, how long they're willing to go to closet someone and how much money is at stake. We know this, and we know the truth.

We also know that H can't be a homewrecker or a womaniser if he's gay. We know he's queercoding and not queerbaiting. We know he wants to show us he's queer and took on the role of a closeted queer man, because he identified with it. We know he has to do things he doesn’t want to do to be able to get more freedom to the things he wants to do. We know it's a balance he has to keep.

When they do stuff in stunts that are unacceptable, i always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. They are good people in an ugly business. No hands are fully clean. But i also call them out when they do unacceptable stuff, because the unacceptable stuff shouldn't be normalised and accepted. I'm not down with blind idolisaton. I tolerate bearding and stunting, but i struggle when they mix it with brand promotion. That i have zero tolerance for. I'll empathise with you for having to drag a woman around to seem straight, but i draw the line at you trying to sell me citrus fruit bikes at the same time and acting bothered by the paps. That's emotional manipulation. Fuck that, no sympathy from me.

I hate both their public images. I don't blame anyone who buys into their images and i agree with the people who critisise their images. If somebody thinks Louis is homophobic or a dead beat dad, or Harry a womaniser or a queerbaiter i think fair enough. Publicly they are. H and L don't get to complain about their images, even though that's not who they are because they are perpetuating them.

I think they deal with their fake images, lies and horrible public behaviour by being open, truthful and honest to themselves, and with their friends and family. I think they're only closeted to the general public. Fandom knows who they truly are and don't buy into their images. If fandom did believe L is homophobic or H a queerbaiter they wouldn't have fans at all, who would be fans of that? Some fans buy into some of their images, but not everything.

I'm not sure when things will change for them, i don't think they have much of a say. Best we can hope for is Sony seeing profit in an out H and L or it's a contract running it's course that will make it possible for them to come out. I have no idea. But things are changing, albeit slowly. Younger music artist are not okay with closeting anymore. It's not neccessary either. Being queer is more and more accepted and normalised. The business is still ugly and people have skeletons in their closets. So it's complicated. If H and L were 10 years younger i think they'd be allowed out.

In the meantime, filter out the noice and try to see them for who they are. They're not perfect people, but they're good people in a difficult situation trying to make the best of things. They will come out one day, we just don't know when.

#fandom #harry image #louis image #boyband politics #contracts #closeting #coming out

[ina-nis]

It was good to have the professional reassurance, validation and (sort of) confirmation that what I’m dealing with is, indeed, AvPD. Now I know what to do when seeking help.

If not that, it’s definitely some personality disorder and the main issues are definitely these baseline avoidant behaviours, that are hard to pinpoint, all things considered; a unshakable feeling of emptiness because of the deep loneliness I feel; and an inescapable disconnection from other people, even when I’m able to connect, everything stays in the realm of shallowness.

The avoidance is so ingrained, it doesn’t feel like avoidance anymore. Haven’t felt like avoidance for a long time.

I give myself opportunities to be spontaneous and let go of the overcontrol that feels so grounding and familiar, but I can’t let go of avoidance. It feels like it’s inherent to me. Makes things really hard, and it’s hard to argue against it either.

For example, the whole “I could desensitize myself and get exposed to triggers so that they lessen their influence over me with time” and my answer to that is “actually, it’s much better to spend my energy around people I enjoy, instead of trying to fix connections with people I dislike.” It makes sense, and it’s avoidance. It’s the right thing to do, and yet, it’s the wrong thing. Since I’m doing all this on my own, it’s understandable that I (or rather, my brain), would go for a much simpler solution as a form of harm reduction, if at all possible.

“It’s better to be alone than in bad company” is a form of avoidance too. It’s impossible to be rid of “bad companies” at all, for as long as one lives around people, there will be bad actors and persons you will not like for whatever reasons. You cannot always “escape”, it’s not always the best course of action either.

Another point: most, if not all, of the skills I have learned to deal with stress (in general, from anxiety to triggers and more), now feel like avoidance too.

I can see myself and my behaviours with a clean mind now and all these old things that helped me get here are, perhaps, hindering my progress. I can’t move further, I can’t move past my current issues. Maybe I lack the skills required for that. What helped before, now obstructs my recovery, I believe.

A lot of the skills I know, a lot of the things I use, have to do with emotional regulation - and you can probably imagine what that means for someone with too much self-control issues and avoidant tendencies: sure, I let myself “feel” my emotions when I have to feel them, but I am quick to go back to my baseline neutrality, “it’s pointless” and “there’s no use getting worked over something like this” and “I can just let go” and “I can use my time/energy for better things” and “I can just focus on something else that’s under my control” and so on...

All those are good things to do, are good exercises to improve your mental health, and they all have helped me tremendously in recovering from a bunch of disorders.

But looking at it all from an avoidant perspective changes everything.

Ultimately, I avoid my feelings, I avoid unbearable situations, I avoid things out of my control, I avoid things that feel pointless, I avoid discomfort, I avoid uncertainty, and much more.

All that means... dialectically, I’m doing all the right things: I’m focusing on the good and in all things under my control, I’m shifting my attention and energy into things that are good for me while I try to deal with the ones that might not be as good, I take the challenges as they come knowing I can simply walk away if I have to.

By doing all the right things, perhaps, I’m only enabling avoidance further.

This is really tricky considering the goal of treatment for many mental disorders is to achieve exactly this: some degree of functioning and being able to live life as it is, with suffering and all.

It makes me frustrated and fearful of the prospect of treatments for myself in the future because... obviously, focusing on all the good things in my life and strengthening areas under my control don’t address avoidance, therefore don’t decrease suffering.

I feel like this problem became way too complex, even for me, even though I spent most of my time researching and trying to find answers.

It’s not going to be as simple as showing up to social gatherings regularly and trying to hit on people using apps - if that worked I wouldn’t be here writing walls of text on a journal on Tumblr, from all places - I don’t know what the answer is or what else I’m supposed to do, but I’m pretty sure my current skillset is doing more damage than helping.

That is in textbooks and self-help articles, that’s in the mouths of trained professionals, that’s the thing supposed to help you.

But if you have a problem like this disorder, it all serves as a fuel. You avoid more, and you function better, you call it something else but not avoidance. You have no issues whatsoever.

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder #inanis post

[drfleetflower]

Catching On and Catching Feelings

~Requested~

Pairing: Casca Highbottom x Reader

Summary: As the Academy's counselor, many people come to you seeking help of course. Students. But today, your coworker, Dean Casca Highbottom, has come to you with a few issues of his own. One of them being your feelings towards him.

Warnings: Fluff, talk of mental health, mentions of the hunger games, coworkers to lovers, light hinting towards substance abuse

WC: 1.9k

With the Games growing ever nearer and being revamped, more and more students came to you looking for solace. You were the Academy’s only counselor after all, probably one of the only counselors left in the Capitol at all. Surprisingly, after the war therapy became less popular. As many people felt too ashamed to ask for help in that regard. It seemed in the Academy though, there was no shortage of people who were more than willing to ask. There were still some students who were too proud; only two of the actual mentors for the Games had talked to you, but Sejanus’s visits weren’t new. You wouldn’t admit it but you were becoming overwhelmed. 

You sigh, locking the door to your office. And when you began to descend the Academy’s steps, you tensed hearing footsteps behind you. If it was a student trying to get a word with you quickly, you knew you simply wouldn’t have the heart to turn them down. 

“Mr/s. L/n.” Relief. 

You turn and stop for a moment, smiling. “Dean Highbottom.” You return the greeting, taking the arm he extends to you graciously. “How are you?”

Highbottom sighs, rubbing his temple with his unoccupied hand. “Do you want the truth or the cordial response?” He chuckles.

“Up to you. Though, I would prefer honesty.” You answer and he retracts his hand as you reach the bottom of the steps, much to your disappointment. He considers the best approach, silence taking over the two of you. You don’t mind though. In fact, you enjoy his presence a great deal, even in this moment of only silence. 

“I’m quite unwell.” He divulges, eventually continuing. “And if I’m being honest, I had an ulterior motive to catching your attention.”

You raise a brow. “And what would that be?” You asked, maybe with too much hope.

The dean sighed again. “Well, you see, I haven’t exactly taken care of my mental health… Ever. And you, being a counselor, I thought you could help.” He looked at you awkwardly, his hand fidgeting with the necklace trailing down into the pocket of his tunic. 

You consider his words for a moment, thinking carefully about your response. “If you need someone to simply talk to, then I can help. But not as a counselor, as your friend.” You smile. 

Highbottom’s brows raise slightly in genuine surprise at the statement and he takes a long while to respond again. It seemed he may have had a stressful day too, he was usually very quick-witted when it came to conversation. Or anything really, but you had especially noticed his careful and sophisticated manner of speech. One of the many qualities that drew you to him. As the noise of the Capitol seems to fade into oblivion in this moment, you realize that you’ve leaned closer to him during the stretch of silence. Do you step or lean back? Would that give the idea that you disliked his presence? Would otherwise suggest that you liked his presence too much? Highbottom didn’t know of your feelings after all, and you didn’t really want him to, unsure of what his reaction would be. A blush warms your cheeks. Not only because of the recognized closeness, but also the way he’s looking at you now. He seemed to have his thoughts now occupied by studying your features instead of his response. Had he caught on to how your mind was racing? To what it was racing to? 

“As my friend.” He finally said after… How long had passed? Regardless, you couldn’t decipher what the statement was, his words were ambiguous. 

“... Yes?” You say, completely unsure if your reply is at all logical. After another period of staring at each other, you decide to speak again. “Am I not your friend?”

“We’re coworkers.” He shrugs, his eyes not leaving you; they haven’t in a while actually. That seems to be his answer until he speaks again. “I guess you are.” He says, relieving the pain you felt in your chest just a moment ago. His curious tone keeps the blush present on your cheeks and it causes him to continue his speech. “Is it cold?” 

You hope your face doesn’t brighten more when he asks that, that would be a dead give away. “Yes, it’s a bit chilly.” You chuckle lightly, rubbing your arm. 

His eyes wander from yours for a moment, but still, they don’t leave you. And when his eyes do meet yours again, you can tell they don’t believe you.

“So, you wanted to talk to me about something that’s been bothering you?” You ask, trying to break this tension. 

He nods, letting out a small huff of frustration at the basic thought of what’s been on his mind. “Yes.” He says to start, “This student of mine has been ‘something bothering me.’” 

“Oh?” You inquire.

Highbottom nods again. “I knew his father- and let me tell you, this boy has all the same disturbing qualities his father did. He is not good news for the future. And with the Games again this year… Well, it doesn’t seem there is any good news.” He confesses rather pessimistically, not really a new quality for him. 

“Nature does play a role in our personality… But so does nurture. Have you tried to bond with him?” You quirk a brow. 

The dean simply chuckles.

“That explains why the student may have a disdain for you as well. Or so I’m assuming…” He doesn’t respond in objection so you continue, “Have you shown your disdain towards him?” You ask.

His brows knit together and another short huff leaves him. “You know, maybe I should keep all this to myself. What if it interferes with your job?”

You shake your head lightly, he’s avoiding the question. “You’ve kept him anonymous so far.” 

“But if I keep talking…” You get the gist. 

“Alright. My ears are open if you change your mind.” You let him drop the topic, not wanting to push him.

“There is one other thing that’s been gnawing at me…” Highbottom admits after a beat and you hum in response, letting him continue the thought. “What has been on your mind?” 

You smile and there’s a flutter in your stomach. He cares about you, or at the very least wants to know what’s been bothering you as well. He’s being caring for you. “Thank you for asking.” You let out a deep breath. “It’s just the Hunger Games have brought on a whole new wave of students like never before… It’s getting to me.” 

He nods for a minute but then tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, placing a hand on his chin thoughtfully. “That’s not what I mean.” You give him an odd look. “I’m a very perceptive person, Mr/s. L/n. And for whatever reason,” He squints slightly as well. “I have gotten this strange idea, you may have a crush on me.” 

If it wasn’t before, your face is red now. You suddenly hear your heart thumping loudly in your ears, your stomach twisting into knots instead of fluttering, you’re tense. And you have no idea what to say. No words come out of your dry mouth, even when you are desperately urging something to. He knows…? He knows? What do you do in this situation?

“Please correct me, if I’m wrong.” His voice is as calm as ever, but your voice right now is nothing. 

Speak! You scream at yourself internally. “Yes.” You manage, hoarsely. 

“Yes, I’m wrong?” He tries to clarify.

“No! Um… Yes, I have feelings for you.” You look down at your feet. “I’m sorry if that disrupts our current relationship.” You apologize. 

“It certainly does.” He chuckles but you aren’t sure what tone this is said in, until you look back at him. He’s grinning, but a genuine grin. Then he’s putting an ever so gentle hand on your cheek, his face only a few inches from yours and asking, “Can I kiss you?” His voice low and only barely above a whisper, it feels like such an intimate, private moment. 

“Yes.” What else could you say? What else could you possibly say to the man you’ve been practically pining over, for what feels like forever? 

You watch him close his eyes in a very content way before starting to close the gap slowly. You follow the action much quicker and he seems surprised almost when your lips touch his. The kiss is hesitant on both sides, but when his thumb softly pets the cheek his hand rests on, you feel a surge of energy. No one could mistake the way you kiss him for anything but passionate, and he doesn’t take too long to return your fervor. His free hand wraps around your waist and in turn, you wrap both of yours around him. His lips are soothing to you and doughy, despite the slight chap that coats them. His beard tickles your cheeks and chin, and you feel as though you might accidentally giggle. You begin to wonder what he may think of you, the kiss in general,  when he breaks the kiss and practically reads your mind. “Wonderful.” The depth of his voice and the added bit of breathiness, make you want to kiss him all over again. 

Highbottom (or should you call him Casca now? You aren’t entirely sure how this type of thing works) decides to end the moment there, though. Which, to be fair, was probably the best choice. If he let you keep kissing him, you could go on forever. 

“See you tomorrow?” He determines, stepping back to a reasonable distance again.

“Tomorrow is Saturday.” You reply with your brows somewhat knit together, usually this phrase of his would come as a reminder of the next school day.

“Yes. Do you have other engagements?” 

You’re quite giddy when he asks that, almost unreasonably so. But you understood now, that he was asking you on a date. So you quickly shook your head, echoing his prior words. “See you tomorrow.” With a big smile plastered on your face. 

“Good.” He smiles back, exuding fondness. “Here. Seven p.m.” He breathes in deeply, maybe just now actually taking in the situation as his hands return to their usual fidgeting state. 

“Good.” Can you manage anything but repeating his words anymore? He doesn’t seem to mind, but you certainly do; one kiss and now you can’t think straight? “Oh- Casca.” You say quickly when he turns to leave. He almost doesn’t stop, he hasn’t been addressed by his first name in… Quite a while. He shakes away the thought slightly, his lip twitching as he becomes increasingly more antsy. 

“Hm?”

You answer with a peck on the cheek. “Apologies, I just wanted to kiss you again.”

Casca’s lip twitches slightly again, but this time into a half smirk. He seems noticeably calmer again. He returns the action with a proper kiss on the lips, chaste compared to your first, but nonetheless it still makes your head spin and your heart race.

“No apology needed.” And with that as a final note, he heads off. Leaving you to stand there, at the front of the Academy building steps, in absolute awe.

#fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #x y/n #x yn #x you #the hunger games #hunger games #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #casca highbottom #dean casca highbottom #dean highbottom #casca highbottom x reader #casca highbottom x y/n #casca highbottom x yn #casca highbottom x you #casca highbottom fanfiction #casca highbottom fanfic #hunger games x reader #tbosas x reader #x gn reader #x gn y/n #x gender neutral reader

[cheese-induced-madness]

Some pre-accident Steven Boxleitner headcanons because I have Thoughts about this man.

-Look I know we all as a fandom collectively like to portray Steven as a perfect cinnamon roll all the time because it makes it more tragic, and that is valid, but it is important to my mental health to believe that he and Wordgirl used to dunk on each other all the damn time. Usually in a more lighthearted tone than we see with Two Brains, but you cannot look at me and tell me they didn’t have a cool adult older sibling-gremlin younger sibling type dynamic. Roasting each other is just part of the deal, your honor.

-In that vein he would absolutely pretend not to know about memes and the Youth Culture just for the sake of making wg cringe. He is GRATUITOUSLY misusing the word “sussy” just to watch her die inside.

-Can cook really well but in a way that would make most professional chefs hate his guts immediately if they saw this man in the kitchen. He’s committing every food crime known to man. He is eyeballing his measurements and microwaving shit that nobody else dares to microwave, yet somehow it always turns out really well. You think a man who welds a grilled cheese together fears consequences for his culinary sins? Because the answer is no. He can and will use a laser to cook a steak and there is no stopping him.

-Plays video games but gets weirdly analytical and strategic about shit that does not need that level of thought. He is making spreadsheets in excel to find the most efficient farm setup in stardew valley and actively researching the best type combinations and stat setups in pokemon before he even picks his starter. Though despite whatever he chooses as the most optimal setup, he still ends up keeping a single ratatta he catches at the start of the game one his team because he can’t bring himself to abandon him in the box.

-pretends to know shit about sports if he has to talk to The Straights about things. Very good at bullshitting his way through a conversation but if he gets called out on it he will never recover.

-Ex theater kid. One of the first shows he did was, ironically, cats. He has done his best to keep any and all video evidence completely hidden because if wg ever found it he would never hear the end of it.

-Childrens show enthusiast that will absolutely go feral over dissecting the lore, worldbuilding and the character arcs in something that is probably ultimately not meant to be that deep. [looks directly at the camera like i’m on the office]

-Has a lot of irrational fears. Clowns, puppets, old dolls, animatronics, and for some reason horses. He simply Does Not Trust Them.

-Has a habit of playing horror games or going down creepy youtube video rabbit holes really late at night and then being unable to sleep due to the very obvious and foreseeable consequences of his own actions. This does not deter him from doing it again the next night.

-Gets crushes on the villains pretty easily and always feels a little bad about it because he’s supposed to be one of the good guys and thus should not be having fantasies about being wrapped up safe in the arms of the guys he’s supposed to be helping to stop.

-I’m not saying he would make fucked up weapons with the intent to use them or cause any serious damage, but he absolutely would make something capable of mass destruction just to see if he’s capable, test it once, and then immediately disassemble it and scrap the blueprints while spending the next week or two unsettled at the knowledge of how much havoc he could cause should he choose to, even if he knows he has no desire to hurt anyone.

-Always feels a little guilty that he’s never out in the field helping wg fight villains. He says it’s because he’s not sure if he’d be much good in a fight, and she assures him it’s fine, but he knows that’s not the real reason. He doesn’t fight because he knows he’d be a little too good at it and he doesn’t trust himself not to take it too far in the heat of the moment.

-Overall gets a lot of intrusive thoughts that he finds pretty upsetting. He’s had them for awhile so he’s pretty much learned to just ignore them, but sometimes something will pop into his head that freaks him out enough that he has to just. stop what he’s doing for a minute and just sort his brain out.

-Always worried that, despite all he does to help the side of good, deep down he’s secretly a bad person at his core and always will be. When he fused with Squeaky and started his first crime spree, he had a moment of sheer panic and grief, mourning what he believed was the death of the only part of him that could be categorized as a good person, dooming him to be only the rotten core that remains. Which is part of the reason he started leaning into the theatrics of being a villain once he got used to Squeaky’s presence, even though Steven is still the one with the dominant portion of control over their body. It’s not so much that Steven changed, but moreso that his perception of himself and how he has to act did. His original amicable and caring personality is still in there and still shines through on occasion, but he’s resigned himself to putting on a front of being antagonistic and selfish because that’s what Squeaky demands and the rest of the city expects of him.

#i am the rat man #dr. two brains #wordgirl #it's time to get unreasonably sad over cartoon characters again gamers!!! #steven boxleitner #god i love him so much. [projects my issues directly onto him] #i have Several Ideas for a fic where he's on a cheese heist on a day where he's in a pretty low place #and he just completely drops the theatrics #balls to the wall. angst beam up to 11. tears will be shed.

[galacticwildfire]

Leading on from something I reblogged earlier, nothing inspires me more than the fact that the majority of people who partake in my university course are aged probably 40 and over. I live at home due to financial and health reasons and study online. Due to this I've always been hung up on not having that typical uni experience, that's until I actually see that the varse majority of people enrolled aren't fresh out of high school or even their early twenties. They're people with kids and who are coming out of twenty year long careers or longer and studying their passions for no reason other than the fact it brings them happiness. It reminds me that life doesn't end at twenty one and that this ticking clock is just something of my imagination that this hustle cultures put there.

I've had this idea in my head my entire life I'd go into academia, now it's looking like that isn't going to happen both because of grades and because I've realised it just isn't quite for me after three years now of study. I've discovered I have multiple chronic illnesses that I'm learning to live with, mental and physical, after struggling for years without knowing why. My parents are probably going to split up this year and I've learned that I'd rather be single than force myself into a miserable marriage for the sake of societal expectations and to have a marriage, house and kids by the age of 25 like my parents did.

I'm also coming to realise and learn now that if people who have grandchildren are discovering and pursuing their passions then it's never too late to change paths and find what makes you truly happy. It's why I love 90's television, because so many sitcoms are based on people in their mid twenties and thirties finding their way when society is telling me in 2024 that because I'm twenty one without thousands in savings and a serious relationship that I've already failed at life. Watching the nanny also made me realise that I probably won't find myself for a long time to come, that I'll have shitty jobs and shitty relationships and that I'll come out better for it when I'm in my thirties and later. That university isn't the prime of my life despite what I've been told and that it's only just really begun.

I live in a small town where all my immediate friends are in serious relationships and having babies whilst I'm still trying to navigate how to live with these illnesses. I spent five years on and off heavy psychiatric medications whilst being undiagnosed because of the stigma surrounding bpd, hell I'm still officially undiagnosed despite about five doctors having told me that I have it but that they won't or can't officially diagnose me. My old psychologist wanted to diagnose me at seventeen but the governments mental health team refused because they wanted to be able to remove me from the system. Now at twenty one it's on my file as a prognosis and at this point it'll stay that way since I cannot physically access the resources to treat it and doctors don't want to be liable for not providing the proper care. As a result I've been put on medications that have done more damage than good, I've had psychotic and nervous breakdowns that I never really fully recovered from. I was mentally sharper at 13 than I am at 21 due to the medications having affected my memory and cognitive function, and I'm only just beginning to learn to live with that.

Only in the past month I've discovered pcos has been a contributing factor to this with my hormones being completely fucked. I gained twenty kg's, lost fifteen, and then gained the twenty back because of pcos, insulin resistance and quetiapine whilst being told I simply needed to eat less (i was bulimic and starving myself for days at a time). When I began univeristy it was a three year degree I convinced myself I'd finish in just over two years by taking extra classes, now It's going to take nearly four years because of my health problems. I'd planned on doing an honours and then a masters, it looks like I'm going to do neither and I'm learning to be okay with that.

Writing is what I plan to make a career out of, and now as I'm finishing my degree I'm aiming to finish my own original manuscript with the tools I've learned since writing is the one thing I never tire of. I didn't take a creative writing degree because of the pressure from people around me, but I spent years researching history to the point I'd be confident writing historical fiction and screenplays along with articles for public consumption rather than brutal academic criticisms. I've often said studying history at a university level's killed so much of my passion for it because it seems to discourage rather than encourage further study due to the cultural nature of academia.

It's brutal and I've seen so many masters students almost quit, or just quite entirely, because an asshole professor's torn years worth of work to shreds whilst another professor praised them for the exact same piece of work because it's so damn subjective. But because one singular person decided they didn't agree with their thesis or didn't think it was important, they've been all but blocked from continuing on the pathway they've spent years pursuing and unfortunately most people don't have the money to support themselves to retake an entire course because a person who had free university fifty years ago took a dislike to them.

I'm at the point in my life where I'm getting answers to my medical problems and focusing on balancing those and learning to live with them whilst accepting that the plans I made at 17 aren't going to turn out as I'd planned, but that it's okay because I have years to be where I want to be and that life doesn't end because I hadn't gotten there at 21. In ten years I might discover something else that brings me joy that I'm passionate about, hell in thirty years, and I might just change course then as well and be one of those people in my classes who have accomplished so much in their lives and have decided to go and pursue those passions instead of following the career they were forced to choose at eighteen and expected to stick with their entire lives. I'm finally learning that I need to curate my life and career around what is reasonable for myself instead of forcing myself to live up to other peoples expectations.

[kigeren]

Late to confess. || Shinichiro Sano x F! Reader

TW: Curse words, Angst, Grammatical errors and Suicidal thoughts. (OOC)

This is my first time making a one shot fanfic enjoy!

You are now 23 years old and no longer an unemployed lady; instead, you work as an office worker and you are so focused with your work that you don't even bother to text your best friend, Shinichiro Sano, on your flip phone to ask how he is doing.

Your feelings and the desire to confess to Shinichiro are gradually slipping away because you've always been so busy, working endlessly to earn your wage without taking breaks. You don't even feel like a human at all; you feel like a robot who works nonstop simply to maintain financial stability. You wanted to run away from the torment known as "Work," but you realize that you are Twenty-three and you are required to "Work” and sacrifice your mental health.

However, there was a time when you had your day off in your small apartment and suddenly broke down. You  rushed to open the flip phone and read all the texts from Shinichiro while sobbing just to calm down.

‘Why did I suddenly keep on Ignoring his messages ? I would always respond to his message as always, this isn't me at all. Am I this workaholic?’

Y/n questions herself while sobbing and reading Shinichiro’s messages.

Suddenly Y/n breathed slowly and her sobbing was gone now and suddenly pressed the call application.

While the phone was ringing, she abruptly placed the flip phone's head to her right ear as she awaited his call.

“Hey Y/n! It’s been two months you haven’t responded to my messages? Did something happen?”

"Nothing. I was working nonstop. I apologize, Shinichiro. I'm truly sorry.”

Her eyes are yet again leaking, and she sobs once more while biting her thumb and holding her fist close to her mouth.

Y/n’s sobs were heard on the phone as Shinichiro gulped.

“Y/n are you crying?”

He said in a worried tone.

“I’m very sorry, I couldn’t respond to your messages, I was ve-”

“Hey It's alright I understand that. I'm glad you have a job, but please don't work yourself to death, isn't that terrible for your health?”

“I guess?”

“I see but please, don’t overwork that much and I’m glad you still remembered me.”He giggled.

“I wish I can see you again in person. I hope I can meet you at Mikey's birthday.”

“I’ll try to attend if I won’t be busy. I promise.”

Her lips curved and her cheeks rose a bit.

After that one call, Y/n’s feelings for him were back and she was cheerful while working again and again.

“Y/n-san why are you suddenly cheerful this week? Did something happen?”

Her co-worker said.

“Ah, It’s nothing I’m just really happy that my salary is getting hi- woops”

She laughed out loud while her co-worker reacted to her perplexedly.

“Also I have to go, I need to prepare for tomorrow.”

“Prepare for what Y/n san?”

“Uh, let's say I’m gonna prepare for a date.”

Her cheeks rose.

"I see goodluck Y/n san! Also can I finish the remaining papers so you don't have to worry so much on Wednesday? ”

“Yeah sure, thank you so much for the help Aoi!”

She smiled as she waved her hands goodbye and sprinted far away.

“No problem…”

August 15, 2003

‘This Is it! This is the day where I can visit Shinichiro! I can’t wait to tell something for him’

The phone beside her rang.

‘Unknown number?’

She quickly pressed the answer button and placed the phone near her ear.

“Hello, may I know who I am talking to?”

“Are you Y/N L/N? My grandson, Shinichiro’s friend?”

“Yes, why?”

“I’m sorry to say but Shinichiro passed away.”

She was speechless when she heard that line. “Shinichiro passed away.” and suddenly end the call.

She felt weak that her knees touched the cold floor and tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Shinichiro why?! Just why?!”

She sobbed and sobbed, starting to feel that it was pointless to be happy later on.

You didn’t even attend his funeral ceremonies because you were back from being workaholic so you can cope with his death but your co-worker Aoi suddenly reminded you to visit his grave.

“Would you stop reminding me that Aoi?”

"Y/n-san, but it was on your to-do list to go to his grave. I know Your friend’s death was painful for you to accept, but go to his grave at least once, I'm sure he'll be upset if you don't."

“Overworking won’t ease the pain Y/n-san.”

“Fine I will. Just tell boss I’m gonna visit my friend’s grave”

She gritted her teeth while her tears started to fall. Again.

After several minutes, she went from the cemetery where Shinichiro Sano was buried based on the letter without bringing anything except her wallet.

Nobody was there,It was silent.

You clench your fist in front to the grave as the sun cast shadows across the upright gravestones and the wind whistled through your hair.

The silence broke when your knees and fists felt the ground and you sobbed loudly again.

“I WISHED I WAS A JOBLESS BITCH LIKE YOU! I WISH I WENT THERE EARLIER! I JUST WISHED I CO-”

A loud sobbed was heard from her mouth.

“I just wished…I just told you I loved you earlier before I had a job!”

"OKAY, I REALLY LOVED YOU! I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU SINCE WE WERE RUNNING THE BLACK DRAGON! I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WAY BACK, EVEN BEFORE WE REACHED OUR TWENTIES! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAVE ME HOPE TO LIVE, BUT WHAT NOW?! WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING WHEN YOU'RE GONE, AND WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING THIS WHEN YOU'RE...DEAD? ”

She shouted as she held her knees to chest.

You sat there silently gazing like you were thinking too deep and your under eye taking over your eyes due to how many times you cried.

You cannot accept his death, I mean who would if they heard the news their loved ones died. You cannot accept it you just can’t you were questioning how can he die so early that you reach into being suicidal.

“What If I Die with you?”

“Would that be nice? We can be together…”

Suddenly a very cold wind touched your shoulders.

“I love you too Y/n. No matter how hard life is, I’ll be there watching over you.”

You hear a gentle voice that sounds like Shinichiro and you suddenly tilt your head left to right, nobody was there.

After being silent, sitting on the cold ground your lips curled slowly.

You realized that… It wasn’t late to confess.

END

#tokyo rev x y/n #tokrev shinichiro #shinichiro sano #shinichiro angst #shinichiro x you #tokyo revengers #fanfic #oneshot #angst fic #drabble #shinichiro sano x reader

[debbiechanclub]

I just need to get some stuff out.

It's just really hit me today that, for the last six months, I've been living more in the created world inside my head than I have been in reality. And that makes me feel like a total piece of shit, because I have a daughter and husband who I love and who love me, and when it boils down to the basics, I know I have a lot more and better than so many other people in this world.

But at the same time, I need an escape. My life, my goals, the things I want to do are on indefinite pause because I'm a caretaker to my bedridden father. I'm working a job I'm not fulfilled in and that I feel l could be let go from at any moment just because it's 100% remote and I need a hybrid schedule at the least to be available to my father. Kris and I can't just pick up and go out of town with our daughter for the weekend or take a vacation because there's no one else who can take care of my father. We cannot afford to put him in a home or even hire in-home help. And I have no idea how to convey the emotional and mental stress I've been under for the last year other than to admit that I've reached the point where I'm simply waiting for the day he passes. Because that's the day I'll be able to resume living my life. But for all I know, that day could still be another 10 years off, and by then I'll be five years from fucking 50.

So of course I'm escaping into my head, into my fics, into the alternate universe me that lives in my brain. That's practically the only thing keeping me going at this point, aside from my drive to be a better mother to my daughter than mine ever was to me. And if you've ever reblogged, commented on, or even just liked my fics on here, or given me kudos or even just ticked up my fucking hit count on AO3, I want you to know that you've contributed to keeping me afloat. You've contributed to my mental health. Literally as I was typing this up someone reblogged my last fic (for a second time!) and tagged it "absolutely amazing" and I immediately teared up. Because there are days when seeing that there are people who care about the silly little fics I post means everything.

Anyway, I'm not sure how to end this post. I'm worried that some of you might read it and think I'm pathetic at best and a horrible daughter/human at worst. But I'm just doing my best to get by and find joy in my circumstances wherever and however I can, and I want you all to know that you've contributed to that, in some small way.

There are better days ahead. I have to believe that.

#personal

[lilflowerpot]

ok, I have the most important question of all: How are you? Hope life is going well for you right now?

((rambly personal post incoming, you have been warned))

I am,,,,,,,,, learning, I suppose. You know how people tell you that life is less a steady curve of progress, and more a wiggly-woggly mess of ups and downs and tight little knots that no one—least of all you—can make sense of? I think I am in the process of unraveling one of those knots.

Those of you who've been around for a while (or have been very dedicated in combing back through both this blog and my ao3 author notes) may recall that I've had a somewhat contentious relationship with my health for several years now; the short of it is that burnout is no joke, and I've come to accept that due to various life circumstances and the extreme stress caused by them c.2014–2018, the ramifications my body suffered in the years following will... likely never go away completely. My physical health is not what it was, and possibly never will be again, but with the divine combination of medication & love, I'm learning to live with it, so aside from one small scare that saw me rushed off to A&E for an utterly //thrilling// overnight adventure back in july, I am greatly improved from where I was a few years ago.

On a more positive note, I started therapy! Though it's not something I advertise irl due to being quite a private person (and having someone in particular in my life who,,, shall we say struggles with respecting boundaries?) I want to be open about the experience on here, because mental health is absolutely something that should be destigmatised, and I think that my younger self might have reached out sooner had she had more people tell her that it was okay to do so? I started CBT in early 2022, which really didn't work for me because it felt very... focused in the moment? Like "go on a walk! set yourself tasks! simply Do Better :)" and the therapist I was working with did not, to put it delicately, make me feel particularly listened to—by which I mean he would repeatedly cut me off to ask questions......that I tended to be already halfway through answering.

I've now moved on to Psychodynamic therapy, for which I've only had a couple of sessions thus far, but have found infinitely more helpful and suited to the issues I personally need to address; I'm sure you've seen people saying things of this vein before, but I cannot emphasise enough the importance of finding a therapist that works for (and more importantly with) you! So if anyone reading this has perhaps toyed with the idea of therapy, but lost heart (darling, I've been there) then please allow me to encourage you to seek help if you are able. I won't lie to you, it's emotionally taxing—exhausting, even—and already I've cried about things I didn't even know I was still struggling with, but it's also been i n c r e d i b l y cathartic to have a professional with no emotional stake in my life (ie. I don't fear judgement or personal ramification) walk me through the process of untangling it all.

What else... oh, I'm taking up lifedrawing again! It's something I greatly enjoyed during university, and I've managed to find a class nearby that starts up next week, so I'm very much looking forward to that. There are also several additional (and entirely free!) short courses offered by my local college that I'm looking into, in the hopes that I might find some passion and direction for myself beyond where I am rn. As a final note, I've got an exciting personal project in the works that—all being well—I'll hopefully be able to reveal to you all in the coming spring, so stay tuned for that!

So yes, I'm learning, things are looking up, and I'm working my way toward building a modest future for myself, even if it's not at all what I might have expected it to be a decade ago. Life is funny like that.

#You're such a doll for asking ily ♡ #to anyone reading this for whom some of this rings true: don't lose hope my love #sa screams back #the author speaks #i went to a bonfire night display yesterday too and had some sort of human epiphany that I cannot rightly put into words but it made me Feel

[bullet-prooflove]

I have an idea for a sub Mouse x dom reader writing piece but I need some advice.

The reader is a tall, commanding, high-ranking officer from the Norwegian Special Forces. she is like 6'4" and a friend of Will Halstead (maybe thats how Jay knows her) and she comes to visit Jay after she came back from a terrorism prevention job in the North Sea. She's friendly with Voight and they need some extra man (woman) power on a huge case, like the Yates one. See where is goes from there...

I was planning to write this but I'm really sick lmao (bronchitis or pneumonia) and I'm exhausted. I guess I'm tired of trying to find fanfics about rare (so to speak) characters that don't have the cliché sub female reader who's short and a pushover. I need a second opinion/POV.

Either way, I love your writing style and I know you don't like being restricted creatively (same), I was just wondering if you could write some sort of dom female military leader x sub Mouse one-shot. Kinda like inspiration points so I could see another writers POV on a topic like this so my writing doesn't end up dry and full of plot holes. I also just need reassurance that people will want to see something like this because at this point it's just for me. Mostly because my tastes and preferences are stupidly out of the gender "norm" and hard to find.

Thanks so much, let me know what you think (if you want!).

Hi!

So full disclosure this is not something I am going to write as it is very much out my wheelhouse - I have virtually no knowledge/experience of the military life esp command positions.

From my experience people love seeing their fav guys in a sub position, I have requests for Sub Will and Sub Connor and Sub Otis all the time. The trick is figuring out what makes them need that dynamic for it to come across as genuine.

An example is for Connor, he doesnt feel like he’s worthy of love, he needs someone to express it, to take care of him and make him feel like he is worth something to someone. The dynamic works for him on that level as it's the only way he can 'ask' for it.

With Will, he is so in his own head about his decisions, the choices he makes. When he has a bad day it's hard for him to get out of his own head, sometimes to the point where he simply cant speak and he needs his lover to bring him back to himself, to take control of the situation to vent his emotions.

With Brian he's more able to ask for what he needs but he craves someone else taking control because the decisions he makes endanger people, he needs someone else to take responsibility for a while. He needs to not have to think.

This will help you determine the kind of dom you are playing with. So usually I go soft Dom for Connor. A bit harder for Brian and Wil,l I feel like could flip flop either way.

Another thing you will need to consider in my opinion is Mouse's PTSD and how he would respond to certain dynamics. As someone who has been diagnosed with it twice for two separate issues I am very aware that there are certain situations and environments I wouldn’t put myself in again. - this is why I feel the way the show wrote him out was unbelievable.

So if you are planning to use terms like soldier or Sarge, which I believe was his rank, consider that these could be triggering. He has come along way in his experience with mental health, I would consider playing into that.

As for the character you are discussing. I feel Mouse would love how safe she would make him feel.

If you look at my writing over the past six months I don’t inc physical desc when it comes to female body type as I know it comes in all shapes and sizes, it's more appealing to your readers as they can imagine themselves or a char. I do add tattoos or scars because for me as a writer it helps me develop aspects of the reader character.

I hope all of this helped!

#writing process