“You have no idea. There is only so much of me left, Renee! I am not giving the scraps to him to ruin.”
the thing about this quote is that- like- it’s so fucking relatable.
like- andrew has been beaten and broken by so many people through his life that he just doesn’t have anything left. what he does have he’s trying to preserve as best as he can as to not be left completely undone. broken beyond repair. he’s already so close to that point. he can’t let another person do that to him.
i’m not good at explaining things like this but @nanatsuyu did it so perfectly and i’m just like- wahhhh TwT
andrew reaching his lowest point in life where it’s driven him to SH is so heartbreaking cuz in the books he seems like he just doesn’t give a fuck (and to an extent he really just doesn’t give a fuck) but it’s obvious that in some ways he really does give a fuck yk?
at one point though, he did. many moons ago, he gave a fuck, even if nobody else gave one about him. the one person he thought actually did (cass spears) turned out to be like everyone else. he’s been forced to stay in survival mode.
then… there was neil.
andrew wasn’t willing to give the rest of himself to kevin. so why was neil the one he decided to do this for?
with neil getting andrew’s protection and being brought into the group of monsters, neil gave what he had left of himself to andrew for him to protect. he trusted andrew enough to give him the rest of his scraps. despite not feeling the need to be protected by anyone (since he dedicated himself as the protector of the group with the deals he made), seeing neil be willing to give up his life for andrew’s sake showed him that neil was worth it. neil was worth giving his scraps to. he knew that neil would never do anything to ruin him. to break him. to make him have to remain in survival mode.
there are people in the world that have gone through situations similar to andrew, whether it be one of them or all of them. there are people that stay in that state of survival mode. they don’t open up to anyone or let themselves feel what andrew provides for the monsters and neil. i’m one of those people, and that’s why i find this quote specifically to be really relatable.
if you know anyone that’s gone through trauma, any sort of trauma, show them that they’re worth protection and love. show them that it’s okay to open up. that it’s okay to give up their scraps to people worth having them. be the neil to their andrew.
PSPSPSPSPS SORRY I FEEL LIKE I GOT OFF TOPIC AND THAT I’M WAY OFF COURSE WITH MY THOUGHTS I’M SO SORRY LEMME SHUT UP-
There is a very strange, but good, feeling I have while reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Chalice of the Gods.
As a seventeen year old, who skipped my junior year of highschool, and is now a senior, and is now done with applications for college and the only thing left is recommendation letters, I started reading and I felt the stress of my current life fizzle away.
“I’ll get your longing glances but she’ll get your ring and you will say you had the best of intentions” and “I want patiently, he’s gonna notice me, it’s okay we’re the best of friends” and “I search the party of better bodies just to learn that you never cared” and “so much for summer love and saying “us” cause you weren’t mine to lose”
Not that this justifies his ridiculous behavior, but now it's better to understand that this craving for success is not merely a personal desire but a way to overcome the pressure of being the family's breadwinner...
me as a kid watching Amethyst say she never asked to be made: aww poor Amethyst...but why wouldn't you wanna be made?
me now: ...oooh! now I understand! ha, same Amethyst, same
something I now truly respect about Rebecca Sugar is that she truly did give representation to a large number of things. maybe some of them are unintentional but either way, they're largely appreciated, like Amethyst
I've learned a lot of new things since that episode, things like how I came to be. And sadly how I came to be was not the most ideal way, which really put me in a bad place. I rewatched that scene quite a few times during that and it actually really helped me. Amethyst really helped me remember that how I came into this world does not define who I am
again I don't know if this is how Amethyst's character is supposed to be interpreted, but this is how I see her. And this type of thing isn't necessarily talked about in the world, and most of the time it's seen as scandalous and therefore taboo to talk about. So it was nice to see someone who I project onto talk so openly about it and flourish