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xxsycamore · 6 months

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𝐎𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥… 𝐋𝐞𝐰𝐝?!

╰┈➤ You help Rikai relieve sexual tension so he can function properly again. By giving him a handjob.

Kusanagi Rikai x Gender Neutral!Reader • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Masturbation; Boners; Resolved Sexual Tension; Embarrassment; Rikai is dying of embarrassment; Blushing; Sexual Inexperience; Virginity; Voyeurism; Hand Jobs; Holding Hands; Secret Crush; Praise Kink; Multiple Orgasm • wordcount: 3,307 • masterlist

a/n: Happy birthday to my favorite person in the world who wants to do unspeakable things to Rikai (i understand.)

It's an early morning… a damn early morning, making you want to scream at Rikai if he must always start his day that early. Even the sun is nowhere to be seen yet, and you wonder if it simply hasn't received Rikai's orders yet to rise and shine…

But it's more than alright with you; the dark blue of the sky that gradually bleeds into lighter hues is somewhat exciting with what is to come, moreso when you finally find yourself knocking on Rikai's bedroom door.

"Coming."

His reply is fast and clear and you bite back a chuckle at the thought of it slipping mechanically, not even a pause to wonder what could this be about, at such an early hour. Though you suppose he must be used to all things bizarre and unexpected in a house like this.

…Is what you'd say if you didn't know him and his ability to stress over the same things again and again.

"Why are you up so early? What's the matter?"

There's a genuine surprise on his features as he opens the door to find you on the other side, albeit still quick to invite you inside. His bed is already made. His morning toilette taken care of, as he's not only dressed for the day but also already equipped with his favorite whistle hanging from his long and elegant turtle-neck-clad nape, probably on his way to wake up the rest of the residents.

Well now, this would have to wait…

"Rikai-kun. I wanted to talk to you about something. In private."

"Now is a good time. It's a nice, sunny morning. It's good to clear things up at the beginning of the day so it can start without any issues. I'm listening."

Despite the barely hidden difficulties he experiences every time he has to look you in the eye, the gesture of adjusting his glasses does the trick to make him look presentable. Besides, he's always ready to cooperate.

"You know I appreciate how you keep everything here in check… even if you can be overbearing at times…"

"I'm afraid that's necessary, and you're well aware."

"… I was thinking that someone has to take care of you, the way you always take care of others."

Rikai produces a sharp sound of confusion that is followed by a brief pause. "Elaborate."

"Based on my observations, Rikai-kun, you are experiencing a lot of pent-up sexual tension."

"Huh?"

"Yes."

. . .

"w-w-w-w-W-W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING??? DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?"

"Rikai-kun calm down, do YOU hear yourself?! At this rate you're going to end up waking everyone up and we won't be able to cure you of your sexual tension!"

"WHAT S-SEXUAL TENSION? WHAT S-S-SEXUAL TENSION? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AROUND AMAHIKO-SENSEI?"

"He has nothing to do with this! Although, I have to note, his profound insights did open my eyes to some of this… And you have to agree, as they say, that even a broken clock is right twice a day!"

He hates it, it's all in his twisted-in-panic expression. He hates that he finds truth in that phrase, the way you talk about this so nonchalantly like it's the most normal thing in the world, the way your frame blocks the door so he finds himself in a prison of his own making by having you where you are.

"Rikai-kun, your skin is all red… This too, is perhaps a sign that I'm right. I would appreciate it if you don’t make things worse by hiding your symptoms from me."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS AS IF I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M PERFECTLY FINE, I DON'T FEEL ANY OF- WHAT YOU JUST-"

"Sexual tension."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"It's perfectly natural… but while it's natural, if you bottle it up… it indeed can be very bad for you. I do this out of genuine concern, you know! Dying is not off the table. At the very least, if you keep this up… you might explode."

Rikai's whole body shivers as if he just heard the blast in his head, and it makes him lose his balance. And ultimately, he falls down.

"R-Rikai-kun! Are you alright?!"

You immediately couch down to his level to check on him, and while it seems like his soul has already left his body, as soon as you put your hands on his shoulders to shake him back to consciousness, he tenses up and brings himself to a seating position on the ground.

A heavy sigh leaves your lips, part relief, part disappointment. "Seriously… I thought we could rely on you for keeping everything in order, but you can't even keep your body in order…"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're hard, Rikai-kun."

It takes exactly two and a half seconds, and him looking down in pure disbelief, for the hysterical, high-pitched scream to fill the room and bounce off the walls once again. You clamp a hand on his mouth to muffle his scream, and he seems to only panic further because of your touch, so you hurry to remove it.

The betrayal of his own body drives him to madness, and nothing that leaves his mouth makes sense anymore. If you've ever heard someone keysmash with their voice, that must be it.

You sit back on your haunches, hands on your knees, waiting for him to calm down so you can remind about the seriousness of the situation. Though, you don’t exactly mind waiting when he's making those cute expressions. You'd normally feel bad about him going overdrive like that, but the blush on his face makes you enjoy this, instead. You're not sorry at all.

"It's early in the morning, isn't that right? You've just woken up so, it's quite normal for a healthy male like you to have a…morning wood… at this time of the day. Calm down already!"

"UNSPEAKABLE! OBSCENE! OUTRAGEOUS! …LEWD!"

Lewd…with the way he's trashing about on the floor, trying to cross his legs, or to hide his crouch with his hands instead, you're growing afraid of him contemplating to chop off his own dick if it refuses to comply with his principles. But you know just the way to deal with him.

"Surely you know what to do in this situation, right?"

"Absolutely. I'll go take an ice-cold shower and kindly ask you to forget that this ever happened."

"NO-"

"Now then, isn't it a good morning? I already wrote my goals for the day in calligraphy. It's a New Year's tradition that I've implemented in my daily routine for the bountiful results it provides in motivation for goal-persuading, so I thought I might do the same with performing misogi and letting the cold water cleanse me so I could start the day without those dirty, atrocious, dirty things occurring to mar the day. A cleansing of the body and the mind! Isn't that a great start to the day? It's important to start the day with a clear mind so you can focus on your goals and take on them with vigor and diligence. I'd advise you to do the same!"

"Rikai-kun PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!"

He's too far gone, going through all the stages of madness in the spawn of mere seconds, to the point where he doesn't even register the way you shake his shoulders once again. Your body involuntarily presses against him, and the tent of his trousers grazes against your leg. You quickly sit back on your haunches. "I'm sorry."

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

You were wondering when this comes. Puffing up his cheeks like a hamster, Rikai blows the whistle, even though you have already withdrawn from him. He doesn't remove the whistle from his mouth even after he ceases to produce that innerving sound, and you attempt to pick up your thought again where you left it.

"I'm afraid cold water wouldn't be enough for you to get rid of this, not to mention it's not good for you to deny your body's needs. Haven't you ever… jerked off?"

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Groaning, you tug on the whistle's string until it flies out of Rikai's parted lips, and you take hold of it. You come in closer again, close enough to catch it between your own lips, and you quickly blow it. PPPPPPPP

"There. You can do that again if you want to, but just so you know, that's going to be an indirect kiss."

Rikai is shocked, defeated, and disarmed. Additionally, he didn't faint at your question about pleasuring himself, surprisingly, thankfully, but it's only after a couple more seconds that he attempts to give you a reply, albeit a non-verbal one. It's negative.

Wow. How old is he again?

You sigh.

"I don’t wanna say this. But I have to say it. I'm disappointed in you, Rikai-kun. To think that someone like you would… drive your body to absolute disorder, refusing to acknowledge the most effective and rightful way to deal with one of its natural functions… it's not like you."

"I…I…I…I…I…"

"I'm not leaving until I make sure you've taken care of yourself, Rikai-oniisan!"

Crack.

You're not sure if you're imagining things or the last bits of Rikai's sanity just shattered to pieces. At first, you thought what you heard was his glasses cracking, perhaps the man in front of you reached the exact resonant frequency for them to shatter from his tormented wailings alone.

For a moment, the room is quiet. The approaching sunrise spilling through the windows begins to color every surface in a murky shade of florid violet. The blush on Rikai's face is more visible now, you can see how it spreads to his neck, to the tips of his ears. His lips twitch and he purses them as if fighting the words threatening to leave them. His eyes fall closed in inner conflict, and you indulge in the fleeting opportunity to admire his beautiful long lashes.

"I'm going to do this quickly."

You let out a small gasp, not believing your ears. You hurry to add, "And then we can go on with our beautiful new day!"

"…That's correct."

Rikai's chest visibly rises and falls, his body now almost frozen in comparison to its jerky movements just awhile ago. He lifts one hand and slowly crawls it across his stomach and down to his abdomen. A broken inhale falls from his mouth.

Your eyes are glued to his motions as he performs many false starts, backing down from coming into direct touch with his genitals. Even though he's still completely covered.

"It might be easier if you take it out, you know…"

"Nonsense. I can do it like this."

As if eager to prove his determination, Rikai's movements finally grow in braveness as the ball of his palm rolls down the prominent bulge in his white trousers. His slender, long legs part a little, making it evident that the tight clothing confides him in a rather uncomfortable manner, making a troubled sound rumble deep within his throat.

Your vision fills with lascivious, pink-tinted images of your sharehouse guardian of integrity cumming in his pants. A flame sparks to life inside you at the sheer thought of him becoming such a sorry sight, pathetic and helpless as he feeds his arousal mere crumbs of pleasure…and how they'd still be enough to get him off, because he never allowed himself that much. You want the sight of him in this very moment burned into your memory.

"Haah…"

It could be pure instinct now, the way he begins rubbing in earnest, motor activity that his brain simply cannot fight once it discovers the pleasure it brings. His beautiful, deft fingers squeeze and press into the hardness outlined by the thin fabric of his trousers, and you already imagine it stained, his cum soaking through.

You study Rikai's expression, and it's not a blissed-out one that will put you at ease that he's enjoying himself; you blame it on the massive embarrassment surging in him, but his furrowed brow and flaring nostrils tell you he's struggling.

"Is it… not enough, Rikai-kun?"

His eyes seem somehow unfocused as he snaps back to reality and looks at you; the rich blood-red color is now tainted with the shadow of lust, his common sense drowning somewhere inside them. Even in moments like those, he's able to recognize the rightfulness of things. The rightfulness of your guess.

"I s-suppose I can try to… inflict direct contact. I-If it will speed up the process."

You nod your head, urging him on. "I bet it will feel good."

"As long as it's enough for me to carry out the task."

Right, the task. With the same amount of diligence he puts into all his self-appointed duties, you watch Rikai put on a serious front as he begins to undo his belt. He does his best to remain as steady as possible, but the tremble of his hands is noticeable and it gets in the way. The strap comes off of the buckle and he lets it plop down, a second of indecisiveness before moving on to feel for his zipper.

"Close your eyes. Don't look. It's indecent."

Rikai gives you a command, or maybe a warning, you're not sure, but you already predicted this much.

"I think I'll live!"

"You're unbelievable! Don't blame me later if you find yourself haunted by the display."

Oh. Rikai has a very wrong idea about the source of your inability to get his cock out of your head. For his sake, you'll spare him the truth. Being this close to seeing him in his full stiff glory, you don't want to ruin the moment. You've actually wondered quite a few times before what he looks like down there.

The distinct noise of a zipper coming undone fills your ears, and you look down to see him put a hand into his pants, unmistakably grasping his firm erection and pulling it out of its confines. It puts your fantasies to shame, as your breath involuntarily hitches. His cock stands proudly with its significant length, rather on the slender side, with a vein running down the shaft. What grabs your attention though, is the bead of precum accumulated on the tip, and together with the flushed color of his complexion, it tells you volumes about how needy he is right now. He's practically aching for more, for a pleasing that counts.

"You have a beautiful cock, Rikai-kun…"

"DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS!"

"Alright, alright…! Aren't you barely holding off already? You look painfully hard…"

Rikai does all in his power to keep the groan from leaving his mouth, but it only proves your point. He knows he should move on and touch himself, laid bare for your eyes as he is. The conflict in his gaze is evident when he pulses with arousal without even feeling pleasure. You wonder if the scandalous deed excites him somewhere deep in his neurons, a feeling he'll never ever recognize much less confess about, but you're observant and that's already enough.

His bony yet skillful hand wraps itself around his hardness, a loose hold at first, a small twitching of his fingers indicating his newfound pleasure as he sucks on a breath. Even his fingernails are so Rikai-kun, neatly trimmed to a perfect oval shape…

Stroking his length slowly, it doesn't take long for Rikai to realize how much better it feels if he strengthens his grasp. The tightness of his fist feels good, and his mouth falls open.

"Ah…"

His movements are a little unprecise, and it's almost endearing to watch him struggle with doing something for a change. Biting on your bottom lip, you can't help it but extend another suggestion.

"Let me do it for you?"

"Nghh!" Rikai throws you a look of disbelief, but the neediness continues to lurk beneath it. He throws his head to the side, refusing to look straight at you anymore. His movements slow down and at last he unhands himself.

It's your cue. Crawling in closer between his legs, you find it a little hard to calm your racing heart. Clinging to the bits of confidence that drove you to where you are now, you concentrate on the need to do this for Rikai. To show him how to take care of himself.

His cock is warm and big in your hand when you wrap your fingers around it, and you realize how much it pulses with raw arousal. He must be begging for release now, even if he received so little attention… You begin to pump his cock with your hand, setting a somewhat slow but steady pace.

Rikai is… very vocal. He hides his mouth behind a hand, teeth sinking into the sleeve of his turtleneck, and yet his moans remain barely contained. He grunts and almost whimpers as you curl your hand around him while stroking for a better angle, eyes squeezed shut so he doesn't have to face the embarrassment of being serviced like this.

"T-This is- I'm gonna-"

It's no wonder he's fast to reach the point of no return, a slight panic in his tone at the lack of self-control. You stroke him faster now, assuring he'll reach an orgasm to remember for many nights to come.

You see his thighs slightly tremble and muscles tense up all over as he reaches the edge, and in the next second, he tips over it; the scene unfolding before you is absolutely sinful as you watch him come undone.

He's a mess; glasses askew on the bridge of his nose and moans escaping his glistening lips, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure; opening anew in the next second, pupils blown with lust as he barely registers the mess he's producing. His virile cum comes out thickly and plentifully, staining his clothes and your hand. You keep working him through his high with enthusiasm, catching yourself moan at the mere sight of him losing himself to the pleasure.

Giving his length one last stroke from bottom to top and squeezing the last drops of cum he has to offer, you rejoice in Rikai's heavy breathing. He's pressing his back fully against the wall now, and he's… beautiful like that; spent and lax, the crease of his eyebrows nowhere to be seen as he lacks the strength to maintain his frown, for once. Instead, bliss is written across his face.

Feeling giddy, your other hand makes its way to where his rests on the floor, and you intertwine your fingers with his.

"W-What are you…"

"Rikai-kun, don't tell me you're shy to hold hands with me… I just jerked you off!"

With a defeated and indeed flustered expression, Rikai furrows his brows once again, taking a deep, deep breath. He doesn't withdraw his hand, but his remains noticeably shaky.

You can't help but let out a small chuckle.

"That's it, you were so good… It wasn't so hard, see? I knew you could return order! You came so much… your body was so eager for release… but in the end, you did what was right. Of course you did. You're amazing, Rikai-oniisan!"

You make the mistake of keeping your hand where it remained during the round of praise, and to your horror… you feel Rikai hardening again in your grasp.

"R-R-Rikai-kun… likes praise…"

"W-W-W-WHAT, AGAIN?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS BODY?"

Stunned for just a second, you quickly regain your composure and put on your serious tone once more.

"It appears that it wasn't enough, I'm afraid. We'll have to do it more!"

"MORE???? HOW MUCH MORE?"

"I don't know… until you're shooting blanks? And if the method becomes ineffective with time, we'll have to find other ways to get you off…"

"^%*&&G(##@$?@"

"Rikai-kun? RIKAI-KUN!!!! DON'T DIE ON ME NOW!! EVERYBODY WILL FIND YOUR BODY COVERED IN YOUR OWN CUM, THINK ABOUT IT PLEASE, RIKAI-KUN!"

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#charisma house #charisma house rikai #rikai kusanagi #kusanagi rikai #charisma house kusanagi rikai #charisma house fanfiction #charisma house fanfic #charisma house smut #crsm

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lesbian-kyoru · 9 months

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loved your analysis about arata but about his interactions with taichi i think there time he /is/ being mean or petty on purpose. i dislike a lot when people try to paint him as someone actively evil and trying to make taichi's life hell blabla or when they don't acknowledge taichi does take everything too personally sometimes because of his own insecureness but like... arata can be petty and shady as hell at times with taichi too. they kinda bring this 'bad side' out of eachother but i honestly love this about their dynamic as well. and those feelings doesn't make any of them bad or evil. i just feel frustrated it always have to be one or another.

also it's funny how they have to fight inner demons and jealousy (not necessarily about chihaya) and chihaya is kinda clueless and just vibing (fighting different inner demons)

i feel pretty similarly as someone whose two favorite characters are arata and taichi! most analysis i've come across unfortunately tends to skew heavily against one of the boys, which isn't surprising for a LT manga but is a shame since it usually does a huge disservice to both of their fantastic character arcs. in my experience, especially in the past few years, i see way more like. willful misinterpretation of arata's character than taichi's which is why i spend less time defending taichi—i do dearly love both characters and their relationship for all the messiness that both of them bring to it lmao.

i definitely agree that arata has his petty moments which i do love, because frankly he is so funny when he's mean kdfj;lahdf. it's so against his kindhearted nature (which isn't so different from taichi!) and causes him a lot of turmoil, which really adds greater complexity to his character, especially to his relationship with taichi. as an aside, i think an interesting contrast between them is imo taichi is much more consistently self-aware of his negative feelings toward arata than vice versa, which is why taichi spends so much time agonizing over it—as opposed to arata only realizing it in key moments, like yoshino and the challenger matches, and THEN beating himself up over it because it suddenly creeps into his overwhelming fond feelings about taichi as a friend (which clashes with his slow recognition of taichi as a rival, but that's another discussion).

with my prior post i was mostly trying to highlight that, while arata has moments of lashing out or being mean to taichi (+ my exploration of how a lot of those moments stem from trauma and his insecurities, like taichi—basically an argument that arata like everyone else is shaped by his experiences and has reasons that he's cold, unfriendly, mean), there are other moments where i genuinely don't think he has petty intentions. like, the "chihaya doesn't belong to anyone" moment? definitely petty. but when he tells taichi "i thought you already would be in class A by now" and then tells him to give chihaya his phone number? to me that scene genuinely reads as arata being super socially awkward and not realizing that he's hitting all of taichi's insecurities within the span of 30 seconds l;adkhf;alsdkhfh;a. and to me that's an interesting distinction and super compelling because of how it impacts taichi without necessarily being intentional, an example of how the true mutual affection between arata and taichi is constantly frayed by their individual baggage. and it's gonna come down to reader interpretation, but i do notice that 99% of the time arata's intentions are taken with the most negative possible reading possible, so it was my hope to add another reading of his actions that, as you said, is not assuming he's just actively evil lol. also, a lot of why i read those scenes as not always actively malicious is due to how warmly he does act toward taichi in surrounding scenes (the blushing, the smiling when he sees him, wanting to see taichi as much as chihaya, the awkward "you're supposed to high-five, right?" and other socially awkward behaviors etc etc).

tl;dr you're not wrong that they bring out the worst in each other, or rather i think they bring out a very real, raw version of the other and see each other for what they are—and being able to fully appreciate their relationship requires an ability to view both of their characters without idealization, both of them having flaws and moments where they act badly to each other. it's clear that despite all their issues and how they mutually embody each other's worst insecurities, they very deeply love and care about each other, even if that bond is complicated. love them forever

#this turned into an arataichi love post........ whoops #chihayafuru #wataya arata #arataichi #thank u for the ask!! i hope this clarified my original meta a bit more #it's never my intention to strip arata of his flaws or cringefail moments since i think that does a huge disservice to his character #but like i very rarely see posts that dive into arata's character in a positive way so i like to highlight his good qualities or look at #his actions through a different lens and perhaps with more good faith than i feel most analysis of him achieves.........#and his interactions with taichi are precisely the scenes in my rereads where it's v interesting to puzzle through arata's intentions #like IS he being mean. does he realize he's being mean. is he socially awkward and taichi is being a freak. sometimes it's all of the above #and sure you could argue the intention is unimportant but imo it's another angle worth exploring their characters from #taichi #ask #anon #zoe.txt

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the-firebird69 · 11 months

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This is a curious thing we're seeing Trump in the future after he goes to Cuba and he shot himself and her son says what's weird is the gun it didn't make him do it but it's a strange weapon and the metal makes people nuts sometimes you don't know how to handle properly. It's supposed to radiation. Now this made people curious you know he's been near the stuff and they know he's been around it and it does make people nutty. So they want to see and try and blame us but that's not where Mac was so keep talking it really this is about something very important.

The point is that this particular lawsuit states that Donald Trump raped Carol and we're talking about his friend's wife Paris Hilton and he is smart enough to try and draw it out himself and Paris Hilton had her own AI we know what the situation is we have agents moles and equipment performance and data I'm watching very close back then it's sexual assault and in an expensive store that Paris Hilton owned that's what it means. And he threatened her with his own assault Dave hit him a lot he would not let go of it start blaming our son so we started hitting him he still would not let go so something there folks

Thor Freya

Besides the fact that he is suing her for something the court said that he was guilty of in the final finding so he's going to get it kicked out and then he's going to go to court and they're going to be angry at him

I cannot stand this disgusting person next door but boys he's stupid everything is doing is a mistake and keeps repeating mistakes and making new ones I'm going to write a story about it no I want the lawsuit to go ahead against these imps who think that the law doesn't affect them it's going to start today

Hera

I've already written it up it's a group class action for those who tried to kidnap and name an assassinate injure and kill and it's a big one and it's important and because they keep doing it and we want to write to the government for assistance with the three individuals doing it or for and for them to be removed from the location where we're at because we're trapped here and we're going to write that up now and Max are very interested Mac Daddy is and his children and Ben Arnold these people have people under dress all the time and doesn't do anybody good even them

Bitol and Goddess Wife

They have to hand it to you he's trying to force some things it's not very nice but he's done a lot of help helpful things for us and one of them is coming up and he came up with some great ideas recently one is a competition and it's over a car design to make a car that's affordable everyone can buy their first start out as RTA that's ready to assemble. And we agree his idea is perfect and he wants the line to be replicas too that are RTA and that will get the regular vehicle going so we're going to check it out and we're going to see what we can do to start this company and we have to make a name for it starshine is what he came up with and really when you're driving a replica around it kind of is what it's like and just keep the name with the four-door which kind of look kind of little bmwish but it'll be its own make and we like the name it really is Loki lowbrow and it's supposed to be

Olympus

I like the name too I'm going to pass around and it seems the guys do and it would be starshine kit cars cuz we don't want to call them replicas even though they could be pretty easily and they like that idea too so I'm going to go ahead with it now you might ask the guys to put a kit car together maybe like a smaller than the four-door which is not too big it says medium size so make a little lotus of spree kit car but it's for a star shine and he's going to go ahead and do it and we're going to go ahead and make some moonshine too and make it up the mountains as legally if we can and he says of course and you know we'll do our best we had some names before. He says screw it let's just name it after planets and planetoids so people might do that and she'll like some old guy with the plant in the background I think we might start doing that they'll get cheap label at first we're going to go ahead with this idea but the first one is really important and it's a nice way of saying it we're going to work on the lotus esprit

Thor Freya and went out about Dan there was a lot of alerts and it was about him telling on them and they went after him and still are

I'm okay for now but I might have to go on the run now I'm starting to see what they're talking about

Dan

It's a huge deal what happened and the son said this is why I think and it is it's because the shield might be here and puts him at risk and his wife more so and it might help Tommy f

We agree with that line of thought

Olympus that is if the shield were here it would help Tommy f just Mac would be the good guy and bad guy

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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the "what are you even talking about, like what do you mean when you say this" overlap imo between people talking about who's Bad At """conflict""" & talking about who's Bad At """"""social skills"""""" like. those supposed Social Skills being about carbonized Rituals that serve to indicate you're not a threat to each other, b/c the only reason to truly deviate from "never behaving in a way someone doesn't expect or feel they immediately understand / sympathize with" is b/c you're using more spontaneous communication to Fight, with an eventual winner/loser, and talking is just a power struggle and/or power play to assert your preestablished higher status, i.e. already being thee A Winner here

like this exhausting dynamic b/w these two bros just like talking about what they got out of [xyz] experience and how perhaps especially when you're supposed to be [the concept of Men] things are elevated re: the proximity to / frequency of fighting each other and always assessing each other's Threat Level, and these two random guys just have this tepid discussion and any time someone goes "and i also alternately/additionally thought/felt [xyz]" the other one does the bizarre like, semi exasperated? "no yeah Of Course" as though like oh we are so on the same page you didn't even have to say that and actually you're kind of an asshole for even starting to say it before i immediately cut in as soon as i realized i could agree at all to tell you to shove off with voicing it, how dare you even theoretically think i don't think exactly what you're thinking now shut up….again: exhausting

like Communication, the more freeform or extensive, is Bad, b/c you're potentially in Conflict, and conflict is fighting & being threats to each other & someone potentially needing to be crushed b/c how else do you resolve a Conflict Fight? versus like, can not the concept of A Conflict be more distilled to something so matter of fact that nobody even needs to Feel any ways about it. like the "theoretical" conflicts that would just be like. something can't happen as something hypothetically intended it to. like a scheduling conflict being, in fact, a conflict, without anyone needing to have been in the wrong for having an appointment on thursday afternoon, and without anyone needing to Concede The Point of scheduling anything on a thursday afternoon b/c they are the one who Lost w/e negotiation about how to work around this. can not "i was operating on one understanding of what's going on for you / what you're trying to do and why, and now what's happening isn't aligning with that idea that i had about how things are" be a conflict that can be resolved by perhaps talking to that person. versus assuming you must be correct b/c you're normal and so something's wrong with them and/or they're messing with you on purpose b/c they're an asshole now, and even if you realize you were wrong about something way down the line you can just be like "well sorreeee how was eye supposed to know [xyz] and i Thought i was being Nice b/c i Thought you were [xyz] so i was in the right and now you're coming after me by being like 'actually by doing that maybe you hurt or even simply inconvenienced me' like so i'm evil now?? could you not have politely let me keep stepping on your toes forever b/c i assumed something was true? and if you did ummm How Could You Be So Bad At Conflict as to know ppl respond [like this] and so instead politely let me keep stepping on your toes?????? i also resent all this"

versus if you see the conflict of "i seem to have misunderstood you / you misunderstand me" as Not Necessarily Threatening then you can comfortably just actually communicate about it. that autistic people who are used to thinking of themselves through the lens of [how others may interpret any/everything about them], having to be more aware of themself as An Other than A Self, won't assume everyone's reading everyone else's mind at all, or even think of that as the ideal approach, and will like, readily give & seek information from others to actually try to be on the same page and have this Constructive experience where you've worked together to navigate your interaction as two different people who would not somehow magically be in alignment, unless you consider the "alignment" to be the power differences that must exist and the priority in Socializing, thus what makes for "good" "social skills," is never threatening them, or god forbid Disrespecting them by Ignoring them: say, how autistic people will have less status/[the social capital] b/c of being autistic, yet the assholes will be Talking (the medium of a fight) and Asking anything of others like participation in an interaction (fighting) and btw by thinking they're Allowed to talk all freestyle rather than in the hollow scripts of "i'm amicable i'm not threatening you. directly. this may be passive aggressive" and by treating me as a mere equal they're trying to drag me down to their level and/or elevate themself to mine, and b/c this is a disruption of the power hierarchy that must exist, we have a problem, and they started it, and they're an asshole

(also: i & many people Do also consciously disrespect & ignore the [socializing = power struggles] concept & its goings on lol. and there's also ofc no real "normal" Universal social style across all cultures and groups and individuals and Misinterpretation ft. bad faith reactions happens on endless fronts. but nt people will pretend there are Rules that everyone has had to be Trained on and if you disobey you'll never deserve to be treated as a person. all "and people only smile when they're happy. unless, did i miss a memo? that frowns means happy now???" etc etc like you see it's all passive aggression or the tools of passive aggressiveness but to "help" someone without threatening them but you Can be pissed if they misunderstand, or at least know you were in the right.)

the way it's Normal(tm) to never actually think of how you don't Know someone else's thoughts/feelings, to never presume they could operate differently and for reasons you can't just accurately infer with a guess re: why You'd do it, to not try to actively undergo a mutually cooperative interaction to better understand each other / be working with the same info, but oh it's autistic people who Are doing all this who never think about how other people are different from their weirdo asses. the "social skills" of assuming wrongly, getting mad at others for supposedly realities you just made up, responding to assuming xyz & being mad about it by punishing/excluding someone & possibly getting others in on it. whilest nd people with their Wrong social existences & approaches are always navigating communicating/socializing as something to do actively & consciously to connect with & understand other people and Don't necessarily think [wow this person doesn't seem to be behaving Amicably towards me?] is a) correct or b) proof they're an enemy to defeat, b/c that's how they're generally treated? the whole time you know communication can fail and you're navigating that w/active effort & constructive intent while people who operate on [if someone does something you don't expect / not according to the script: kill or be killed. or kill just b/c you can & that's the only way you can relate to yourself/others] are like wow what an asshole who i guess doesn't want to get along with anyone so let's see them in hell.

not to mention being shut out from even basics of communication b/c socializing is about respective power levels and you do need Authority to do things like "say whatever" or "have people care about your personal experience at any time" or "say anything at all, actually" like ppl discussing things like "i don't know that i can't Read Cues, vs that i just know they might mean any number of things" vs if someone's not looking at you while you talk it can't be b/c they're actually trying to listen better, it's b/c they're ignoring you / uninterested to pwn you, if they show they relate by saying "hey yeah that's like when i [xyz]" they're one upping to pwn you, if they smile they're happy people only smile when they're happy unless did i miss a memo that frowns means happy??? b/c if someone also makes any expression it Must have been caused by You and they're letting you know as much to pwn you.....or ppl talking about how they can never jump into a conversation b/c they just Can't Get The Timing Right the way other allistic ppl can walk right up and barge in and be absorbed into the convo, or even have a [one on one convo w/ the autistic person] quickly turn into [one on one w/the newcomer, Excluding the autistic person] and other people being like, is it about our "social skills" and "timing" or is about when you' have the authoriti're understood to have the superior social status, you Deserve to do things like cut in on a whim and be listened to, timing does not matter, Not ignoring / forgetting the inferior person does not matter. like, the issue isn't always just "i tried to jump in and it went a bit awkwardly," it can be standing there and talking and being completely ignored w/o much evident conscious effort, or even the least time on some pending [choice to ignore]. you can be hypothetically In the interaction, like, allowed in the group, w/o people noticing when you talk, b/c you don't warrant Listening/Processing, or at least, the least response to indicate that and thus validate that An Exchange is occurring, versus: shut up already b/c shut up always unless someone else wants you to one word answer a question and then possibly misunderstand you w/hostility, but if you Explain anything in unasked (as it always is) depth you're a) out of line, nobody told you to talk more hence the only reason you'd be justified to do so b) defensive, also out of line when you deserve others' judgment, and/or obviously a sign of knowing you're out of line and thus doing too much to avert your just punishment c) providing info b/c you think w/o info i might be Wrong b/c i'm Dumb & Bad. no You. d) all of the above and more

and if, perhaps because trying to talk live & in person means stuff like the above, and other behaviors/mannerisms being judged as weird so let's kill them b/c obv they're killing us by being so weird, and if you're trying to be "normal" that's diminishing your ability to actually communicate or like get through your day and requires hurting yourself for the benefit of others so they don't hurt you more (spoilers. the resonance w/experiences of other instances of "you're responsible for how other ppl, who are superior / have authority, treat you, and have to 'earn' their positive treatment or even neutrality b/c you do not Already inherently deserve it," i.e. interpersonal abuse) and still won't even fully or always work (see prior parenthetical) b/c even if one person pretends things b/w multiple parties can be unilateral, it is not (see: prior)....anyways and If all that means say, someone can communicate a) more effectively and b) with less real pain & depletion via Other Mediums, like emails / otherwise written, non real time correspondance, or god forbid something so Unreasonable as real time / in person that's still not talking, with correct Tone and Inflection and Body Language and Posture and Eye Contact and Handshake and Je Ne Sais Quoi and Cut Of Your Jib and All American Interests And Sensibilities and Etcccc, like what a tyrannical demand that could just never even be considered and i have the Right to eye contact and phone call and etc etc etc (you do not) Stop Hiding (you warrant avoidance if you think no one should be able to avoid you)

and parallel to nd people having the theory of mind and social/communication skills that don't understand all interactions as asserting or vying for power or indicating you're Not threatening someone in the realm of supposed social power, and thus do not operate with that premise, the victim blaming that is "obviously that treatment is bad and i would know it is bad and not tolerate it because it is bad. so people subjected to it have to be worse than me, and deserve it more" where it's also definitely not the fault of the people issuing the treatment, b/c how could they Really know it's bad if the other person is experiencing it without Stopping them, hence telling them It's Okay??? well sorrreeeeee how was i supposed to know that [xyz] was actually hurting you, it's your fault for not blowing up at me, which would've been deemed this uncalled for reaction if you had, and now i'm mad if you're Making me feel Bad b/c that's the discomfort that really matters????? fuck you for telling me, with this kind of response why didn't you tell me?? like, uh oh, same logic at work. and that when other people keep running into the realities that actually their good faith expressing of "actually this hurts me" or more spontaneous reactions to being hurt are just taken as justifications to treat Them as some aggressor / problem creator wronging the other, ofc they aren't likely to simply keep trying that when it's not serving the purpose it "should" or supposedly Would, b/c well if only this person did xyz then nothing bad could ever happen to anyone. and when people ofc Have to become accustomed to [other person or people who can & will treat them badly if they want to, or even just thoughtlessly, b/c they can, & don't choose to do the opposite, b/c even if they're aware they've hurt someone it only matters if they feel justified / they care more about keeping their relative status (it's being autistic, it's [the Authority of Superior Status is coming from inside the house: the concept that husband owns a wife, parents own children; familial abuse])] then it's like wowww they just put up with it, it's their fault then. god forbid that even if they extricate themself from one abusive situation, they're still vulnerable, other ppl take advantage of the vulnerability & they're now in another abusive situation and are used to navigating that indefinitely, vs how someone else might have the preexisting advantage of Not being used to that, not having the experiences to navigate it more indefinitely, finding it more extraordinary & thus having more confidence in their assessment of the situation, and not having the kind of vulnerability in the first place to a) have been in such situations prior b) be stuck in this one now, including perhaps being able to expect that their feelings will matter to others and others will support/help them on that basis, or that their feelings will even be regarded as real/existent. Being Autistic.

(also, yknow, other nd experiences. like adhd classics of "but if you cared / cared to try, you would simply [xyz]" and the like. this is about the crossovers, this is about the "it's the same thing. [who has the restricted autonomy? who has the power at the expense of others' autonomy?] extended universe")

and like the idea that abused people were just Bad at """Conflict.""" and that even if they're extricated from one abusive situation, they might have xyz behaviors / approaches that aren't Normal and that Those make them "worse" at "conflict" too. that nobody "normal" could be lacking in their "normal" approach to interacting with others, neurodivergent people and others who get to be, like, Others(tm) others, definitely don't have [behaviors / experiences related to repeated trauma??] pretty across the board, they're probably just doing more fucking up at being normal which is why they don't get to be considered normal in the first place, ofc. like, what tf is Normal Joe doing to question if they're perhaps not now and have not always been and may not always be the Perfect Interactor. much less to actively try to navigate that, and assume there'll be more to learn b/c there's all these other people who are all different and all always changing. and to perhaps Try to be safe to interact with beyond "well i Mean well" "well a normal person wouldn't regard anything i did as Tryinnng to hurt someone" "well is it my fault i just Assumed you were simply as normal as me? aka the nice thing to do? the thing you should be trying to do?? way to be a weirdo, like having experienced traumatic harm and now that's like, a part of your life and you're not actually Wrong about it or Lied To that that's possible b/c it clearly is and you can't be aware of the precarity re: that happening again b/c welll it's not normal for it to happen surely, i'd Know if it was, you can't recognize your vulnerability, you're kind of an asshole for making that experience anyone else's problem, it's not My fault, keep it to yourself and just get over it asap" like the real problem is if someone might have to so much as consider consciously doing something differently b/c someone else is different than they thought and also nobody's Above considering others and how they're affected by your actions. liiike so long as i didn't mean to, or so long as we don't really care about how they're doing b/c they Are less of a person with a wronger existence that means they bring it upon themself and there's a Narrative about how actually my Superiority is a noble burden that is only trying to punish them towards being as superior as me. and/orrrr i don't even have to think about it & thus have any narrative b/c it's so streamlined / obfuscated as there being any deliberate interference that this is all just Normal, right. people are out of line suggesting [xyz] is ableist or something b/c ughhh it's not about any principle it's about some emotional quota like, okay i've begrudgingly assessed Some things as sympathetic/reasonable to not do, & that's enough, & you can only ask so much of me vs this being a constant often conscious lifelong matter to deal with like it is for people who could be hurt by it?? the contempt is effortless and normal and you have to be trying to be evil & feel evil about it for anything to count. if other people say they're affected a) who cares b) they're probably being too sensitive. another way they're worse. i'm not entitled here c) are they even frowning to prove they're sad? well they're either too sensitive Or they're manipulatively exaggerating / faking it anyways. the convenient fact that nobody can provide external ""proof"" of their thoughts or feelings or intentions, which means i'm always justified if know i think i am, which, let me check, yep: i know i think i do, and it means that i can assume other people are shit inside and hurting them doesn't do anything Real and they deserve it anyways

anyways merely being Normal Mode and Not Thinking You've Been Malicious Or, Sometimes More Importantly, Out Of Line Re: Your Justified Authority is maybe not a basis of successful interactions. what if you try thinking of yourself as [an other, to all others] and not better than other people if you've never much noticed being treated as worse, or at least not as As Worse as Those people or That person, and maybe just b/c You'd only explain something to someone to patronize them b/c nothing should ever not be immediately understood, doesn't mean other people trying to convey their experiences and ideas to you b/c they know you're different people are attacking you as so inferior to you as to be patronized, b/c you're different ppl and they Are better at communicating / socializing when not treating others as inferior or superior Or only equal b/c of being Litchrelly the same person as you, Never even share a thought b/c Of Course i'd immeidately agree with it, how dare you, shut the fuck up

(thinking how people can Parallelly share a space without talking / seemingly interacting more directly than that, as "i am comfortable w/your presence" and/or "we can both use this space as we see fit simultaneously w/little to no need to hash anything out abt it / may rather silently work around what the other is doing" and this may be seen as signaling hostility / contempt / some power play, like also when cats do it b/c they choose to be around you. or just so Weird. you can't even go to a public place Alone, are you kidding? weird And sad)

maybe just saying "don't be afraid to ask questions / for help :)" doesn't make everyone comfortable asking questions / for help, or otherwise able to. maybe not even doing that much & simply thinking your being Normal & correctly Friendly implicitly conveys it to all & makes you approachable is not that guarantee, either. maybe saying "just tell me if anything makes You uncomfortable" doesn't put the responsibility on them for real, just surely takes any blame off you (no?). like sorry do you Want to asap reach a point where you can forever stop being concerned with how what you do may affect others and assume you're perfectly correct abt the needs of everyone you encounter and how your behavior is good enough to one size fits all treat anyone? speaking of being patronizing, and the attitudes behind it. someone who's abused is now Wronger about how to treat them so that they can feel safe. if they want to communicate in ways that seem weird or too distant they're wronging Me, if some misalignment can only be recognized through someone being hurt (as only judged as reasonable / real by the more Normal party) and having to have a conflict as a Fight to determine who the Wrong / Loser party is, what do you mean that's not going to feel safe to everyone. it can't be that a lot of people easily hurt others without having to notice it or Feel wrong about it. dunno how it could be that ppl are like "does being autistic share traits/behaviors associated w/trauma or is it that like everyone is all but guaranteed trauma for being autistic" and if it does well clearly what matters is no normal people feeling bad for thoughtless contemptuous abusive treatment or having to consider operating on different social values/principles towards any & everyone? the autistic people should just become not autistic, i.e. not exist, i.e. also it's their fault how other ppl treat them, whoops it's the same logic behind [anyone abused in any situation / form]

also the idea that like, what, oh someone's Wronged if they didn't feel they had the Chance to Befriend someone or even be Close to them, like, what, is anyone Entitled to even have some trial run at being any given person's friend, or close to them, or w/e other personal access to them? ppl can then cite a noble Concern like oh but if they don't let anyone in they'll be alone, oh but if a child avoids me their shit parent in their room then that can't be good for them, oh but if an autistic person goes unpunished then they'll always be hated & mistreated (as deserved), like, the primarily cited Benevolent Magnanimous reason for the disdain is secondary to [i'm just justifying continuing on exactly as i've been doing, b/c i already can] like yeah oh my god could it be possible that people in shitty positions going through shitty experiences might have complicated reactions to that reality that is different than yours but not Wronger just b/c you think yours is better / more Normal, which means better. and if they ever take on any blame / take on more responsibility in ways that they direct inwards, like that they Continue to be responsible for how others feel about them, what they assume about them, and how they treat them, (which they probably are b/c that's totally for [inferior abnormaller people] like nervous unconfident loser weirdos like them who just Failed to respect Themselves enough to not be abused & continue to be blamed for that, as well as for not being treated w/basic respect as an equal person) well then how heroic to use the idea of their compounding hurt to wash your hands of your own responsibility in any interactions w/them. they have to become as Normal as me first, how unreasonable for someone to recognize that even "normal" interactions involve some people being deemed superior while other people are more scrutinized, punished, and blamed, w/no recourse, even in Casual Friendly exchanges :) so mean to have been too uncomfortable to say they were uncomfortable or have felt too unsafe to say they felt unsafe! *i* was within my rights as [but i'm just so normal and well meaning] and i mean what do they expect, their standards are impossible and unreasonable and unfair b/c it's not i the range of Normal to Haaave to accommodate them (ugh. the Real imposition), and they're just using excuses vs taking Responsibility & enacting Agency anyways, their fault entirely. people are so sensitive these days you can't just have a conversation??? i have no problem w/this logic thanks

anyways it's half past one and i could always go on. normative standpoint "bad conflict skills" [handshake] "bad social skills" like hmm are they really. so heroic to worrying abt if [xyz] is bad for themself but what's good for themself would probably make you think they're even more of an asshole who's wronging you (e.g. someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [preventing the least conflicts via people pleasing], someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [being deemed marginally more socially successful via masking]), are you being wronged or did you presume you're entitled to something / perceive someone else as entitled b/c they weren't acting like you're inherently better than them, which you are, there's not a problem unless power is threatened, which makes it always the totally inferior people's faults, *i* didn't think there was a problem & *i* would've known (backup: well how was *i* supposed to know)....who gets to be superior, who's always in the Process of having to work for deserving basic respect as a person (b/c they keep failing to deserve it ofc), who's more vulnerable and has no recourse even if they don't like it and would be out of line just asking for otherwise / merely implying as much by expressing that they're hurt, who has the power to hurt someone whether through malicious schemes or spontaneous thoughtlessness/ignorance, who has restricted choices re: their autonomy, who gets to choose what happens to other people & the elements of their personhood, their time, energy, body, feelings, effort, etc, & hurt / imperil (require they take on more vulnerability/precarity) them to enforce it....but who cares like just go "i'm so normal that it's relatable" & wash your hands of anything, after all your time as the individual hero out here lol. try being an Other To Others rando as good as anyone else who can handle the idea they're wrong / don't already know how to be perfectly right abt everything / not feeling the least actively malicious or "out of line" isn't the end all be all sole priority. what are we talking about with what "conflict" fundamentally is, or how to approach it, or the same re: being "social"? well only assholes who wanna flex on me by being pedantic would bring it up

#long post abab #''they're the same picture'' [parental abuse] [being autistic] [Authority over Others enforced w/interrelated/fractaling power systems]#age 7 a teacher duly informing me of my punishment for not only not breathlessly obeying some gesture from across the gym while looking in #that direction but not parsing it as an order; much less what it meant; in the first place? so it's a wednesday then #the feeling that you must just be failing to follow some Rules and it's on you to Succeed before things are decent?#the fact that that is indeed the assertion other people make about the situation?#one iteration of [you're treated worse b/c you deserve it] lining up w/another. & one isn't Wrong/Mistaken for noticing this....#the posts about like weird but positive Family Holiday Celebrations they didn't realize that not everyone did....that but the evil version #you can just make up xmas dinosaur or big sandwich day. you can also just make up ableism or that children are parent's property lmao #but then also. those things are so permeating / common that it's like ppl are against them in name only....#but you're also supposed to think that Nothing is different abt your situation than anyone else's & they just Acted Right through it #anyways. baseball metaphor re the rules you're supposed to learn lol...#hugely popular recess game that i tried to join in Once & nobody ever taught us even when playing it in gym #i'd inferred / observed Some rules but obv messed up quickly enough (made Worse for prior success: being on second lol. (what))#that was around the end of recess luckily ig but i was quite aware of ppl grousing amongst themselves that i'd ruined the game #back to foursquare where we made up rules b/c it's a game lol & having fun #next up: my being the One person in fifth grade who couldn't already ride a bike; also no instruction; also in front of everyone lol #they went off & did other stuff anyways & i Did learn but thx to One gracious peer lending a hint #(that being: it's harder to balance if you Falter in speed. going a bit faster only makes it Easier to maintain balance. it was So True)#having it pointed out by other ppl w/extra zany upbringings like oh i guess our parents didn't like want to know things abt us / talk to us #or ever play w/us much or teach us much? the classic [parent does xyz for you even if you wish they wouldn't & then just starts like slowly #and increasingly resenting that you don't know how to do it yourself already? or in the first place?)#certainly the overlap Between also personal abuse & being nd lmao. i will Never keep that room clean lol....not up to that shit #and ofc every Interpretation of behavior is kneejerk Reality / all that matters; you Are responsible for another / adult person's feelings #And their actions per their feelings. and their feelings abt your feelings abt their actions! just like being autistic in the wild #next up: being queer also lmfao. insert it into this post throughout. if you'd just act right. you can't expect getting to be as much of a #person as me who can make choices / have their autonomy when you're not as normal as me? hello???#parent can't bring themself to directly invoke concepts like Gay or Trans but Can just be like umm what's wrong w/you (rhetorical) >:(

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iaintyourbro · 3 years

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The Unknown Journey Continues

Part 1

I know it's been a while... but I've been going down a rabbit hole with @starlight-samurai regarding time loops, Jenova, Minerva, and more fun. So I figured I'd try to put it into one post to get the insanity out of my head. Everything in here is based on things we've found by either going through more obscure Ultimanias, learning more about Dirge of Cerberus and trying to decipher what the hell Jenova is by putting together various sources - including other Square Enix games - and how they handled freakishly similar scenarios.

Did you know there is a companion mobile game for it that was out on the good old flip phones? Did you know there was an online mode in Dirge of Cerberus only available in Japan, but had story elements that were not in the main game?

The sad part is, there's still so much to go through...

(I've also had various discussions with @ourfinalheaven, Manu, who doesn't have Tumblr, so here is her Twitter. and Somebody's Nightmare (here is her Twitter). So I wanted to tag them here, as it's much more fun to discuss these ideas as a group, since it'll only help you build on and strengthen your own ideas.)

Please be aware, there will be Spoilers for FFVII - Almost all Compilation titles, Xenogears, and NieR Automata throughout this.

So let's go on a journey where we explore what actually already exists in the compilation - including the idea of the whispers and timeloops - how Minerva may play into everything, and what exactly Jenova is capable of doing.

I asked Sesi if he'd ever played any of the NieR games, because he'd said something that made me wonder if they were going to take a similar approach. As a very, very quick high level summary: NieR Automata deals with a time loop type of idea. The androids will be rebooted and repeat the same things over and over again. This is broken when 2B is killed by A2 because she becomes infected with a virus. That being said, you have the option after Ending E to either erase all of your data and end the cycle OR you can try again. The Pods have a discussion, and one asks, "But won't they just do the same thing again?" and the other replies with "Maybe. But it could also be different this time."

Here's Sesi's message back to me when I asked him about this (cleaned up a bit since we were having a casual conversation over Discord):

Maybe I could just guess based comparatively on the Dirge storyline, because that was sort of SE's first flirtation with “robots and androids” since they’re all programmed and locked behind like task managers and shit that can shut them down. The story of the online mode for DoC that came out in Japan, we never got to see it, you’re basically an Android OC and you have to get to “the end of the level” and then essentially die, and a new one takes its place. This keeps happening until Weiss is essentially freed from being able to be task managed by the guys who are suppose to be able to control them and I know from tons of years with Square games that they’re verrrrry bad at differentiating their narratives they tend to just keep “ripping themselves off” so is it anything close to that?

Cuz if so I think I kinda know what you’re saying and yeah, I agree, I think with CC bringing in its poetic symbolism and LOVELESS, and DoC bringing back the cyclic nature of the lore, whispers, premonitions and future visions, proto-Materia and the perversion of this next cycle since the planet can no longer cleanse and protect itself and its will is weakening lesser and lesser to the point where it’s fate is “in a true sense of jeopardy This time essentially it’s all tied in together and sort of played as though it's a fated track; a cycle of events and something has hitched it, thus the whispers manifesting and Sephiroth's higher implied control over his destiny. Of course, even all that is just their new red herring game, but it’s definitely a part of the lore they want to play with, in order to go back and reMAKE the OG with the comp inserted from inception. Also gut punch a lot.

Time Loops

I was somewhat surprised to find out that this concept is NOT new to FFVII's universe. It's discussed in Dirge of Cerberus... probably one of the least played and least understood of the compilation. (Trying to sell a third person shooter with terrible controls to a market of mostly people used to turn-based combat wasn't going to go well.)

On top of it, we didn't even get all of it, since online mode was never released outside of Japan, and the Dirge of Cerberus Lost Episode was on Amp'd Mobile and Verizon flip phones back in 2006. Were you around for the cell phones in 2006? I had the ones on the list, and how somebody could play a game on those blows my mind.

Square has a tendency to reuse themes from their other titles. Probably one of the most blatant is the similarities between Xenogears and Final Fantasy VII. They were both being developed at the same time and a lot of ideas that didn't make it into FFVII ended up in Xenogears.

NieR

So how does this work? In NieR (both Replicant and Automata), you play the same path multiple times. Each time, it's slightly different depending on what side quests you did your first and second playthrough, but there's also other subtle differences throughout the story. In Automata, you get to play as 2B your first playthrough and 9S for your second. They follow the same path, but you get it from his perspective the second time and it reveals a bit more of what is going on. However, even with some slight differences, the main plot points stay the same and the ending result it also the same.

Then on your third playthrough, you wake up in the Bunker, and you're getting ready to go on a new mission. This time, though, 2B is killed and shit hits the fan. Things get crazy, you play as a new character: A2. In the end, pretty much everyone "dies", but you can choose to "reboot" and try again. You also can say you are done and let them all rest and delete your save data (the game gives you the option for both Automata and Replicant, and with Replicant, it actually leads to a new ending).

The striking thing for me is... There are certain events that will always happen, no matter what.

Fixed Points in Time

It's been years since I've watched Doctor Who, but there was something that stuck with me, and that was the fixed points in time. You can read about all of them here, but here's the basics:

Now, of course Doctor Who goes into this with much more detail and it's a recurring theme. However, as you read through that page, you'll probably find many aspects that have been used in various JRPGs that you've played. And Doctor Who most likely pulled some of the idea from classic Science Fiction novels. Each story puts its own spin on it.

How does this relate to FFVII Remake? Well, when they say that the major plot points will stay the same, it reminds me of this. No matter what, Cloud must fall into the Sector 5 Church, the Sector 7 Plate must be dropped, Aerith and Zack both must die, and Meteor has to be summoned, to name a few. So, with a time loop, those things would still have to take place in order to prevent a complete collapse of reality (at least in how Doctor Who uses it).

Therefore, the Whispers are ensuring that the Will of the Planet is followed.

One of the major themes in FFVII is that of loss. People die and they do not come back. Yes, other FF games do allow this to happen (FFX, FFXIII, FFXV), but VII is not those games. It was written with that idea in mind, that once a person dies, they, just like in real life, are dead and cannot be brought back.

I've previously written that I think they'll make us believe we are able to change fate, but we will eventually be slammed with the reality that we can't. That is because the planet has determined that certain events are fixed points.

Xenogears

Xenogears takes a bit of a different approach to the loop idea. Instead of repeating the same time period over and over, it has the characters reincarnated, and the same outcome happens each time: Elly dies. However, each time it's different. After all, they're in various time periods, in some cases thousands of years apart.

In all of the lives of Fei (who will have a different name in each time period) and Elly (who is always Elly/Elhaym), Elly will end up dying trying to protect Fei and the others. In one life, she is a religious figure at a totally not Catholic church, in another she's the wife of a scientist who was working to create children from nanomachines due to mass infertility issues. But she is ALWAYS with Fei, even if his name changes.

In her Mother Elhaym time, this is when Lacan (Fei) finally snaps. Though he's not fully aware of his past lives, he becomes aware, the anger consumes him, and he becomes Grahf. Fei is then reborn into the time period you play the game in.

There's a lot to unpack with this, so I won't go into it. Grahf wants to destroy God (Deus) because he thinks if he does, then it'll stop the suffering (his suffering).

If you do want to read more about Grahf, you can do so here, but it probably won't make much sense unless you've played Xenogears up to that point... Since it's much later in the game that this is all explained.

Lacan's desire was to stop the cycle of Elly always sacrificing herself for his sake. Though Grahf is not a perfect existence - he's not fully "The Contact", he sacrifices himself in order to let Fei move forward, and hopefully stop the cycle, by destroying the Deus system. (Elly also tries to sacrifice herself here, but Fei goes after her and stops her.)

Now, some people may think I'm saying that Cloud or somebody is going to do this in order to save Aerith or Zack (or his village or mom), but in FFVII if they do the loop method, I don't think Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and the others are aware of it. Most likely, it's only 'Sephiroth' and Aerith who are aware of it.

How this Could Be used for Final Fantasy VII

I'm stressing could because there's so many different possibilities on how they use this (if they are using this), so please, don't take this as fact. This is based on speculation based on what we know.

A time loop is a great way to explain away the differences in the story that we've seen: Biggs being alive, Wedge living for longer than he should have, etc. Since these are not major plot changes, they can simply say that this time it'll be slightly different... but your fixed points (major plot points) will remain the same.

It's a way to pull in some of the more obscure themes from Dirge of Cerberus and also play with the LOVELESS lore.

It could all simply be a big red herring and it's really just a remake of OG, but with the compilation tied together nicely... since it works much better when it's combined and not in 50 different games, books, movies, etc.

I don't think it's a "sequel" per say, not in the way I generally perceive a sequel. It's more of a loop of the same thing. The question is, when is the loop started and what will cause it to end? When will the planet (if it even is the planet) determine that it's good enough to begin moving forward?

JENOVA, Sephiroth, Genesis, and Minerva - Oh My!

Let's be real... Genesis isn't exactly the most popular character in the FFVII Compilation... but what if they make him one of the most important to the story? //Ducks as various fruits and vegetable are thrown in my direction//

I think what Genesis is probably most known for is his love of LOVELESS. He has the entire thing memorized and randomly says lines from it throughout Crisis Core. LOVELESS lore is still something I'm trying to grasp, so I am not going to comment much on it. Once I understand it more, I'll update this.

...And then this happens. The secret ending for Dirge of Cerberus, where Genesis picks up Weiss. Weiss, who has now been introduced along with Nero in FFVII INTERmission and is an optional ridiculously hard boss in the Shinra battle simulator in chapter 17 of the main story. There is some lore associated with the battle sim - so if you don't plan on beating it or you just can't, you can look up the pre-battle and post-battle cut scenes on YouTube. They're very short, but interesting. (I beat this asshole last night - it's a hell of a fight.)

....To Be Continued because apparently Tumblr won't allow more than 10 images per post now.... Next will be more on JENOVA and Sephiroth along with Minerva.

#ffvii #ffvii genesis #ff7 genesis #ff7 intergrade #ff7 intermission spoilers #FFVII intermission spoilers #FFVII Intermission #Final Fantasy VII #Dirge of Cerberus #FFVII Weiss #Xenogears #nier automata #final fantasy vii #ff7r #final fantasy 7 #timey wimey

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franki-lew-yo · 3 years

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I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

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#animation #animation on tumblr #2d animation #3d animation #traditional animation #hand drawn animation #Franki's Features

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squishyselz · 4 years

Text

Nothing compares to you

Pairing: VAV Lou x Female!Reader

Genre: Fluff/Best friends to Lovers AU

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: This year's spring is definitely going to be different. Not only the beautiful flowers will be carried away by the warm spring breeze.

A/N: This is my first story I have ever written so I hope you guys enjoy it :) I'm also open for any form of criticism so I can improve my writing. Also English isn't my first language so I hope you guys will understand.🌸

"I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N!"

You raise your head and look at your best friend Lou, sitting across the table. "Just because I let you copy my homework... When are you going to start doing it yourself Lou?"

He rolls his big brown eyes "But you know I'm very busy at the moment. If I don't practice enough then how am I supposed to be an actor one day?"

Well he isn't wrong. He really invests a lot of his free time into acting lessons. It's his big dream after all. "Fine I can't just let that bubble burst" you giggle and poke the tall boy's nose.

Lou just smiles at your action and gets back to copying your answers onto his piece of paper.

After school you guys normally hang out at his place where you either be his acting partner or you insist on playing some video games.

This afternoon you're lucky and the two of you actually play a few rounds of Overwatch. A game Lou has recently discovered. It feels like hours have passed when he stands up and does some stretches. "That was fun" you say with a big smile on your face.

"Definitely but you still got a lot to learn. We almost lost every round Y/N" Lou says while scratching the back of his head. "Yes sir!" you salute him and stand up as well. He just smiles at your action and looks at his phone. "It's already past 10 pm so I suggest you better go home now Y/N or your parents are going to be worried again" he raises an eyebrow at you while trying not to laugh. Yes, Lou is your best friend but your parents didn't care much about that fact. They are very strict and didn't like it when you were hanging out with boys more than girls.

"Yeah yeah I know" you sigh "If only my parents would be a little less... well like they are now and my life would be so much easier" you grab your bag and start to head for the door of Lou's room as he suddenly takes your hand gently into his. "Y/N uhm you know that next week spring vacation starts so I was wondering if..." you look at him slightly confused "Lou? What's the matter?" your best friend just stands there, still holding your hand while blushing oh so slightly. He continues "well I know a beautiful place we could go and take some nice photographs." One of your biggest hobbies was photography. "And where exactly would this place be and especially what is there that I can take pictures of?" you ask him, still a little confused. "It's a flower field I have discovered recently. People told me that there would be a lot of rare and beautiful flowers. And I thought since you like photography so much we could visit it and take some pictures" His heart was beating faster with every word that left his lips. Yes, he is your best friend but what you didn't know yet is that Lou had a crush on you for a long time now. You smile gently at his invitation "Well I can't say no to such a great idea" Lou smiled happily and lets go of your hand "Now go home or you'll get yelled at again" he mockingly says. "Yeah yeah don't worry too much about that" you giggle slightly as you walk out of the door and onto your way home. Lou just lived a few houses away of yours so it only takes you a few minutes to reach it.

When you arrive at home you are lucky again as your parents are sound asleep. You sneak up the stairs into your room quietly and lay on your bed. The feeling of Lou holding your hand... the way he looked at you... Many thoughts about him, about the two of you, are racing in your head until you fall asleep.

The last week of college felt like it would never pass. Luckily it did after all.

"Why is college sooo haaaard" you sigh as you walk next to your tall best friend. He pats your head "Don't worry Y/N, we got some time off now" You smile up at him and nod your head "You're right... Let's just try and enjoy the time with no homework or studying until late at night"

Today you agreed to visit the flower field, Lou has talked about. However you have mixed feelings about it. The past week, Lou hasn't left your thoughts one time. Somehow you always have to think about him, his big brown eyes, his gummy smile whenever you do something silly... Just everything that made him so dear to you. You even noticed that your heartbeat increase whenever he would hug you or as just now pat your head. You always ask yourself one question - Am I in love? - This question was driving you crazy. For once you know Lou is your best friend and you trust me. So why not change that title to him being your boyfriend? At the same time you are scared because you don't know if he feels the same. So of course you're not just going to confess right away and risk your friendship.

You just don't know what to do about your heart, your feelings or your thoughts.

"Y/N!" you hear him yell from across the street.

You were waiting for him to come over so the two of you can walk to the flower field together.

After a short walk you already reach the field and were taken aback by how beautiful it was. So many different flowers are dancing with the warm spring breeze. Immediately you take out your camera and start to take lots and lots of pictures. "This place is absolutely amazing Lou!" you exclaimed. Lou watches you and smiles to himself. He then has an idea and starts picking some of which he thought were the most beautiful flowers in the field. You are too busy to see what he is up to. "Wow so many great pictures. That was the best idea e-" You're not able to finish your sentence as you feel something soft on top of your head. You gently touch it and realize it was a flower crown. "Yes that is definitely your style" Lou giggles as he takes your camera "And now smile"

A slight blush sits on your face as you smile gently into the camera. Lou takes a few pictures.

After that the two of you lay down into the flower field and look up at the clear blue sky.

All of this makes you nervous nonetheless. You turn your head to look at your best friend. He has his eyes closed, breathing slowly.

He looks so peaceful you think to yourself. Then suddenly a hand reaches out to you and pulls you into a tight hug. "L-Lou?" you stutter surprised. "Y/N..." he sighed and opens his eyes to look directly into yours. "All these flowers are beautiful but if you ask me, nothing compares to you" your heart feels like it stops for a moment. "..." you look at his flushed face not being able to say anything. "You're the most important person in my life Y/N and I know you may not feel the same as I do but my heart couldn't take it any longer. I need to tell you how I feel" he continues softly. Your head was spinning, your heart was racing. You look into his beautiful eyes and just smile. But it wasn't just a simple smile. "Looks like you've won this round" you slightly giggle at him. He gives you a confused look. "What do you mean Y/N?" "I mean that I feel the same about you silly" you boop his nose with yours gently, lips not touching each other. He almost doesn't believe his ears. You were also in love? With him?

He still holds you in his arms as his lips gently find their way onto yours. It was a simple kiss but it felt sweeter than anything for the both of you.

You look at him completely blushing "D-Does that mean that... we're a couple now?"

Lou just smiled at you and says "Of course my sweetheart" You're heart almost skipped a beat after hearing this nickname "Hey who allowed you to already nickname me" you pout slightly.

He pinches your nose softly. "I did and now let's just enjoy spring together"

#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop au #VAV #vav imagines #vav x reader #vav lou #kim hosung

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clearcorona · 5 years

Text

little flirt // shoji mezo x fem!reader

Aww! I had a great Christmas and I hope you did too. Honestly Shouji is so underrated. Give him more love! This is super cute. I hope you have a great day as well! I feel like this is a bit bad, but I have been kinda stressed lately.

P.s., I rewatched To All the Boys I've Loved Before not too long ago and just couldn't help myself.

"Shoji!" you called out with a smile, skipping over to the taller male, a pint tint on your cheeks. You rocked back and forth on your heels, staring up into the eyes of your white haired crush. "We should train together later! You're really strong and you'll make a great hero some day, so I feel like it'll benefit the both of us if we both get some training in."

"Alright, we can do that," he replied and you squealed.

"Perfect. I'll see you later, then, handsome," you waved and walked away.

"I find it quite hard to believe that you haven't figured it out yet," Tokoyami spoke up and Shoji turned to his bird brained companion in confusion.

"Figured out what?" Shouji replied.

"It's pretty obvious she has a crush on you," Tsuyu croaked.

"Dude, she definitely has a crush on you!" Kaminari spoke up after over hearing the conversation.

"There's no way. She's just being nice," Shouji said and the three exchanged glances.

"Are you serious? Do you really think that she calls you handsome always compliments you because she's 'just being nice?'" Kaminari asked.

"Haven't you noticed her blushing whenever she's around you?" Tsuyu asked.

"You must have noticed something," Tokoyami said and Shoji sighed, shaking his head.

"We're just friends and I'm sure (Y/N) feels the same way," the white haired male replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So... When are you going to tell him, (Y/N)?" Jirou spoke up in the locker room as you were all changing back into your regular uniforms.

"What are you talking about?" you asked, taking off your gym uniform's top to pull on your button up shirt.

"Shoji, duh!" Mina chirped and you blushed, pushing your hair back behind your ear.

"It is rather obvious you have feelings for him," Momo spoke up and you let out a nervous laugh.

"(Y/N) and Shoji sitting in a tree," Mina sang and you tossed one of your sneakers at her that you had taken off earlier. She squealed and laughed in response.

"I say that you should just tell him," Tsuyu said and you frowned, thinking about it. You couldn't help but feel like he'd reject you if you ended up telling him.

"I can't 'just tell him!'" you wailed, knowing if you even tried, you'd be a complete mess.

"Come on, (Y/N)! We'll help you out!" Hagakure chimed in and Mina smiled, nodding eagerly.

"No offense or anything, but I'd rather do it on my own," you admitted and they both pouted.

"Whatever you say. Just make sure you do it soon before someone else snatches him up," Mina said and you sighed. You knew she was right, you had to tell him.

You couldn't tell him. Every single time you tried to speak to your crush, the right words wouldn't come to your mouth and you'd go right back to flirting. It wasn't like he knew you were doing it anyway, which only made things worse. It wasn't like Shoji did it in return so you could see where you stood on the matter. He also never asked you to stop.

To be honest, the whole thing frustrated you.

It had been over a month since you had promised yourself that you would finally admit your feelings, but you couldn't muster up the courage. You knew if you didn't act soon, the girls would definitely take matters into their own hands and you definitely couldn't have that.

You groaned, leaning back against the pillows on your bed. You stared up at the ceiling for a little while before you finally got an idea.

"That's it!" you exclaimed, quickly getting up from bed to sit at your desk, a smile on your face.

Shoji sat out on a bench, looking up at the sky. He had come a bit earlier than your agreed meeting time, but he couldn't help but fell nervous. Your were acting strange lately, stumbling on your words before you completely switched the topic. He only wished that you would tell him what was going on.

He turned as he heard his name being called, seeing you head over to the bench he was sitting at.

"You're here early," you said and he let out a soft hum, standing up as you approached.

"I didn't want you to think I wouldn't show up," he replied and you smiled, a pink tint blooming on your cheeks. As much as you liked him, you hated how flustered you could get around him. Shoji then noticed a small slip of paper in your hand. "What's that?"

"Well... It's for you," you muttered and he looked up at you in confusion. For him? He didn't know he was supposed to get you something.

"What's the occasion?" He reached out for your hand to gently take the piece of paper, even more confused as he saw you take a step back.

"There really isn't one."

"Um... Okay?"

"Do you mind closing your eyes?" Shoji stared at you for a moment before doing what you asked. You took a deep breath and unfolded the piece of paper in your hands. You studied Shoji for a moment, seeing just how handsome he looked like this, so calm. You chewed on your bottom lip, focusing on the piece of paper in your hands.

"Shoji," you started and he almost opened his eyes in response to his name, "you were the first person I met when I came through to the entrance exams and you were really sweet, even though we were competing for spots at the top hero school. Just watching you, I knew you had the potential to become a great hero and I told myself I'd support you whether I got in or not.

"Then, when I got my acceptance letter, I couldn't help but wonder if you got accepted as well. You don't know how happy I was when I found out we were in the same class." You smiled to yourself, pushing your hair back behind your ear. "I was drawn to you in more ways than one. Um... You can open your eyes now."

Shoji opened his eyes and looked up at you, noticing just how nervous you looked in front of him.

"Is everything alright?" he asked and you nodded, knowing if you didn't do this now, you wouldn't ever do it.

"Yeah, um... I just like you, just much more than a friend would," you said and Shoji took a moment to process your words. His silence made you uncomfortable, just waiting for him to reject you.

"So they were right," he muttered and you furrowed your eyebrows.

"Right about what?"

"I didn't exactly believe that you were flirting with me, I thought you were just being nice."

"So, does that mean that you don't feel the same way?"

"No, (Y/N) I-"

"Wait, so you do feel the same way?" He chuckled at the way your (e/c) eyes lit up in excitement. You were so cute like that.

"Yes." You squealed and launched yourself into his arms. He stumbled back slightly, holding you close as you buried your face in his chest. He smiled down at you, running his fingers through your hair gently.

He really was oblivious to your feelings and had you not confessed, it probably would've taken him a lot longer to open up.

What would he do without you?

#bnha x reader #my hero academia #x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #mha anime #mha bnha #fluff #mha fluff #bnha fluff #my hero academia x reader #shouji mezou #bnha shouji #mha shouji

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mind-reader1 · 6 years

Text

Queen of Hearts (Ch.15)

Drake x MC (Emma Barnes)

TRR AU: What would happen if Emma loved Drake but had to marry Liam?

Catch up here

Warnings: NSFW

Note: I almost didn’t post this after @ooo-barff-ooo ‘s amazing chapter of Girl Crush, but I knew I wouldn’t have time tomorrow. Enjoy! Let me know if you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list!

Word Count: 2872

Summary: The court has arrived at Kiara’s duchy, but things for the art festival don’t go as planned. Kiara throws herself at Drake causing some tension between Drake and Emma before their R-rated movie date. Doubts start to creep into Drake’s head just before they find Liam waiting for them.

Chapter 15: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

The day we met, Frozen I held my breath Right from the start I knew that I'd found a home for my heart Beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall But watching you stand alone? All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this

Emma was up early the next morning, she wandered down to find Hakim and Francesco in a panic. The gallery had flooded in the night, it was supposed to open this morning. Emma texted her friends 911 and they all came down to the sitting room.

“What happened?” Liam was the first to arrive. Francesco explained again, he was sure that it was sabotage. It was the same attackers from the homecoming ball, they were sure of it. Hakin and Francesco began planning to cancel the festival, they wouldn't be able to clear out the water in time, that would devastate all the work they had just done in Applewood to rally the people.

“No. What if we didn't have to cancel. No art was damaged, spin it as an art installation! It can be to raise awareness about the flooding in Portavira. Show that we're united and support the other duchies.”

“It would strengthen morale among the people!” Liam chimed in. Hakim stopped and considered their words.

“How would we pull it off?”

“I'll put it all over social media! An exclusive exhibit available today and here only!” Emma nodded at Maxwell, he began firing away on his phone.

“I'll direct clean up. I'm probably the only person here who knows how to use a bucket and mop.” Drake said.

“We get the worst of the water out and it won't look too messy.”

“If we pass out color coordinated rain boots at the door, we can add to the experience!” Hana had taken color theory lessons and so she was the perfect person for the job.

“This is a great plan but why are you doing this for us?” Emma smiled.

“It's the right thing to do. You're a citizen of Cordonia, we do everything we can do our citizens.”

“Let's get started then!” Hakim hired a cleanup crew, and everyone got to work. A few hours later, Madeleine had Emma meet her at a local boutique. Madeleine was on Emma's case about recruiting Hakim and Joelle even though she was sure they would come since she had just saved their gallery. Madeleine just rolled her eyes and held up an off the shoulder dress with different shades of purple, pink, blue and white that all complemented each other. The dress looked like an abstract canvas. She wore a small, rhinestone necklace to complement the dress, Drake's ring tucked safely away. By the time Emma arrived at the gallery, guests had already begun arriving and Hana had given them a pair of rainboots that matched their outfits better than expected. She joined her friends in the center of the gallery and Drake ran his eyes up and down her body hungrily.

“I… uh...wow.” Drake mumbled unable to form a coherent sentence.

“So, you like the dress?” He nodded.

“It's lovely Emma. Are you ready to address the crowd?” Liam and Emma addressed the crowd and told them that the water installation was an anonymous artist. They wandered through the exhibit themselves, stopping to discuss various paintings. They stopped at an abstract piece and everyone struggled to make sense of it, Drake and Emma, having had no training on the subject. As the others wandered through the gallery, Emma stopped next to Drake and followed his gaze to an “EXIT” sign with glowing green letters.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out the idea of modern art. Take this for example, it's just a sign that says exit, but what does it mean? Is it saying we all exit life eventually? Is it meant to be a warning?”

“Are you saying you want to get as far away from possible as me?” Emma teased, and Drake playfully rolled his eyes.

“As deep and profound as that was Drake, I think this is just an exit sign.” He frowned, and then sighed as a patron walked out the door just beneath it.

“Whatever.”

“Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.”

“Tell anyone what?” Maxwell appeared behind them silently making them both jump.

“Uuuh how great that painting is!” Emma pointed randomly at a painting. Maxwell smiled and delved into a story known as the Great Ketchup Incident of ‘96. Bertrand approached seemingly out of nowhere, the first time they had seen him in days, handling Beaumont house affairs. He was there only briefly, mentioned that Maxwell was helping with the affairs and then he was gone. Emma and Maxwell were concerned, on top of all his stress, he was trying to mend his relationship with Savannah and Bartie. Emma approached Joelle next, admiring the piece she had completed yesterday when they first met. They had a discussion about what her art meant and how it translated to what she and Hakim wanted for Cordonia. After they all regrouped, they left the art exhibit for the food, needless to say, Drake and Maxwell were quite excited.

All kinds of various smells wafted through the air, spicy, sweet, even sour, it was glorious. Instead of trying everything like Maxwell suggested, they wandered around to try everyone's favorites. Hana got everyone some ash-e reshteh, a Persian dish. It was a savory soup with beans and parsley, the flavors blending together well. Even Drake was impressed. Liam led everyone over to a colorful booth that smelled of various spices, getting everyone some chicken tagine. As everyone ate, Liam and Drake shared the story of how thanks to Leo, it became one of Liam's favorite dishes, sibling rivalry at its finest which escalated into a full blown prank war. Drake was eager to pick the next dish, feijoda. It was similar to chili, a mixture of beans and meat garnished with an orange slice. It was rich and salty with the pork and beef, very clearly a Drake dish. Instead of picking a food, Maxwell ran off, following the sounds of a live band. He wanted everyone to dance. Emma longed to dance with Drake, but with too many prying eyes she danced with Liam and watched as Kiara approached Drake and asked him to dance. Emma tensed up and watched as she wrapped her arms around his neck and swayed in time to the music, slowly getting closer to him. When the music stopped, Drake unhooked Kiara from him and walked over to his friends. Emma could feel her blood boiling, but she forced herself to smile and walk over to Olivia and Penelope on the edge of the crowd, Kiara rejoining them. They left to go get some cotton candy and the rest of the group began to leave until Drake pulled Emma back.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered. Emma nodded, she knew he couldn't have turned Kiara down without looking incredibly rude.

“Come here, there's one more thing I want to show you.” He led Emma to a freezer stand with an Italian flag. Gelato, it was Emma's favorite dessert, she had studied abroad in Florence for a semester in college and she became very familiar with the ice cream like treat. Drake ordered a chocolate gelato while Emma settled for a fruity raspberry. It was the perfect mixture of creamy and sweet, melting on their tongues.

“How is it?” Emma giggled as she got a brain freeze.

“The only thing that would make this better would be if I could kiss you right now.” Drake grinned mischievously and looked at Emma.

“I wish we weren't in public right now, the things I want to do to you.” He leaned in to whisper. Emma felt herself blushing as he stepped back. She seductively took a bite of ice cream, exaggerating how good it tasted, moaning.

“Keep it going until tonight Mr. Walker.” She winked just before they left the festival to catch up with their friends. On their way out, they ran into Hakim and Joelle. They were so impressed by Emma's willingness to step up that in return they agreed to attend her wedding. As they return to the estate, she couldn't stop thinking about how in love Hakim and Joelle still were after so many years together.

“What are you thinking about?” Emma looked at Drake unsure of how long he had been staring at her.

“Nothing.”

“Barnes I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes, you've got that look on your face, the one you get when you're lost in your own head.”

“I was thinking about Hakim and Joelle. Look how in love they still are with each other. Do you think you'll still love me that much, years from now?” Drake chuckled and carefully checked their surroundings before pulling Emma close to him.

“Barnes, I love you more and more every day. I think we're going to love each other even more than they do when we're their age.” Emma pulled Drake in for a tender kiss as he pulled her body flush against his dipping her down. When they stood up and he released her, she was light headed, her heart swelled.

“The real question is will you still love me that much.” She cupped his cheek and smiled.

“You're the only one for me Drake Walker.” Once back at the estate, Emma left to go find Liam to discuss what food from the festival they would serve at the wedding and Drake mentioned something about looking up movie times. She found Drake in the sitting room, lounging on a couch, he looked exhausted.

“Drake?” He didn't seem to hear her.

“Knock knock, anyone home?” She waved her hand in front of Drake's face and he blinked his eyes back into focus.

“Oh, hey Barnes. Sorry.”

“Everything okay?” he sighed.

“All this courtly stuff is suffocating. I thought it would be nice to get out, see a movie tonight, like normal people. Try to stay sane.”

“I feel like there's a ‘but’ coming.” Drake dragged his hand over his face and Emma knew it wasn't good.

“But Kiara cornered me, again.” Emma rolled her eyes, she was ready to kick Kiara out of court, tell her to stay home.

“What happened Drake?” Emma's tone was flat, and Drake flinched at the thought of having to tell her.

“I mentioned I was going to the movies and she invited herself.” Emma groaned before suddenly jumping off the couch.

“You did WHAT?!” Emma was furious, she wanted some alone time with Drake and Kiara kept getting in the way.

“She invited herself Barnes. It's not like I could say, actually I'm taking my best friend's fiancé out on a date.”

“Call a cab, I'll meet you outside in five minutes. We're leaving right now before she can crash.” Emma didn't give him a chance to answer, she dashed off to her room to change into a little black dress, casual enough for the movies.Even if he did have time to answer, he wasn’t going to protest, he thought Emma might kill him. Once they arrived, they settled on a spy thriller full of romance, it was that or a horror movie which wasn't exactly romantic when you couldn't cuddle in public. Drake bought the tickets and a large bucket of buttery popcorn.

“This is nice Barnes.” He scooped up some popcorn, ready to eat it but Emma snatched it out if his hands with her mouth playfully. Drake pretended to pout as he watched her eat his popcorn, but the corner of his lips twitched up into a grin.

“That's how you want to play it Barnes?” She giggled and scooped up some popcorn of her own, throwing it at Drake who tried to catch it, before she finished it. They laughed walking into the theatre together, unaware they had been spotted. Emma dragged him to the very back corner of the theatre and Drake frowned.

“What are we doing back here Barnes?”

“Getting the full movie experience. You'll see.” More people shuffled into the theatre, spread out across the seats. Finally, the lights dimmed, and the movie began playing. Drake was into the movie, but Emma had other things in mind. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about Drake kissing her on the way back from the festival, her imagination running wild. She placed her hand on Drake's thigh and slowly moved her hand up until she reached Drake's crotch. He gasped as she grabbed him, looking over at her surprised, she met him with a heated kiss. Drake fell into it and tangled his hands in her hair as Emma continued to rub over his jeans, feeling him grow hard. He moaned against her lips as she quietly undid his jeans and freed his hard length.

“Barnes what are you doing?” He hissed as her lips surrounded him. She began sucking, running her tongue up and down his shaft, teasing the tip with her tongue. Drake moaned a little too loudly and someone glanced back, Drake pretended to be watching the movie while Emma remained hidden behind the seats in front of her.

“You have to be quiet Drake.” She whispered before going back down on him, bobbing her head until he came, gripping the arm rests as he tried to stay quiet. Emma smiled, licking her lips as Drake tried to compose himself, tucking his dick back into his pants.

“What was that for?” Emma smiled mischievously and leaned in to whisper in his ear again.

“The full movie experience. What do you think the back row is for?” Drake shook his head grinning.

“We're not done Drake.” He turned to look at her surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to feel your fingers inside of me Drake.”

“Barnes.” Drake wanted nothing more than to please Emma but he had never done something like that in a room full of people before.

“Drake, if you want to sneak into my room tonight and make it out of this duchy alive, you'll do as I ask.” Her tone was threatening and his stare even.

"I took you on a real date, we almost got caught a couple seconds ago. Do we really need to do this Barnes?" He didn't need lots of light to see the look on her face. He wasn't going to make it out of the theatre alive if he protested, besides everyday he looked forward to sneaking into her room. He wasn't ready to give that up, and he had to admit that almost getting caught was kind of hot, the thrill of it. Emma surprised him again when she leaned back against the wall and put her legs up, grabbing Drake's hand and rubbing it between her legs. He stifled a gasp when he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. Drake started slow, rubbing circles on her clit and then dragging his fingers between her lips to see if she was wet. Drake teased her entrance as she pushed her hips towards him, but he pulled away and began rubbing her clit again. He was going to have some fun with it, payback for almost getting them busted. Again, he teased her entrance which was dripping wet at this point.

“Drake.” She begged. He loved hearing her say his name. Finally, he slipped one finger inside her, she whispered, it wasn't enough, so he slipped another and began pumping, hitting her g-spot perfectly. He felt her hips buck forward and he knew she was close, so he pulled out and waited for a few seconds before teasing her clit, bringing her right to the edge again. She was breathing hard, trying not to be heard by anyone else. She met Drake's eyes with a pleading gaze. He slipped his fingers inside her and pumped until he felt her cum on him, her muscles spasming around his fingers. She watched, satisfied and worn out as he grabbed some popcorn and ate it before sucking her cum off his fingers. Emma pulled her skirt down and was scooting over to kiss Drake when the lights came on. She jumped back and looked around as everyone began leaving. The people in front of them, turned around to see who had been sitting behind them, to see if they could figure out why it sounded like Drake was moaning but they didn't look disheveled, so the people left.

“So how was your real movie experience?” Emma asked as they walked out, dumping the popcorn bucket on the way.

“I'd definitely do that again. What got into you though?”

“Kiara’s been all over you since we got here. I needed to know that you were still mine and I was still yours.” Drake felt a pang of guilt, he wanted nothing more than to push Kiara away, and kiss Emma in front of everyone like no one was watching, but he knew that could never happen. Dark thoughts about how this was going to work long term began to slip into his mind, of course he wanted it to work, he loved Emma, he would never love anyone again that much, but there would always be another Kiara.

“I told you earlier Em, you've got nothing to worry about.” They held hands in the taxi back to the estate, running into Liam on their way to her room. He didn't look pleased.

Tag List: @notoriouscs @brightpinkpeppercorn @ooo-barff-ooo @leelee10898 @princesstopgun @choicesyouplayandmore @sleepwalkingelite @roonarific @indigo39 @skyila @speedyoperarascalparty @andy-loves-corgis @furiousherringoperatortoad @blackwidow2721 @drakewalkerfics @findingdrake @sue9659 @smritysriv @tmarie82 @larryssunflower @likethetailofacomet @zaffrenotes

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sometimesrosy · 6 years

Note

So I'm a bellarke shipper and I saw that some people are worried that Bellamy is gonna cheat on Echo. Ok, cheating is wrong but even if you're not a bellarke shipper, I don't understand why some people are freaking out. Are we supposed to care for Echo ? After everything she did ? I know we are saying they are no good guys anymore. And I know that Echo did what she did for her people but it doesn't mean that we have to care for her now. We can forgive her but we cannot forget.

I don’t not care about the moral outrage because I don’t like Echo. I like Echo. It sucks for her. It sucks for all of them. No one did anything wrong to end up in this situation. They all made exactly the right choices for their situations.

And they STILL found themselves in this bad situation.

It’s not about morality.

Isn’t it just as immoral to lie to your girlfriend about your deep deep unresolved and back to life feelings for your wife? That’s part of the problem. Clarke was NEVER his girlfriend. But she WAS, in many ways, his PERSON. His wife (unofficial) and his soulmate. and in many ways it was acknowledged by the whole community how much they meant to each other. By ECHO herself.

What kind of morality is it to STAY with Echo, when he loves Clarke. In a way that is incredibly profound and makes him WHO he is. How could you be in a committed relationship with a person while someone else is more important to you, including romantic and sexual feelings? Is that not a betrayal of the committed relationship?

What kind of morality is it to abandon his connection to Clarke, who gave up her life for HIM, for Echo SPECIFICALLY and personally for no reason other than she was heroic and a good person. He has a commitment to her… and that didn’t go away because even though he THOUGHT she was dead, she WASN’T. Even just his acknowledged commitment as her non romantic partner. He can’t just ditch her because of Echo. He owes Clarke. And Echo owes Clarke.

What kind of morality is it to ignore your real feelings and your original partnership, because you made a commitment to things never changing even though EVERYTHING was changing. This is a lie. This is lying to your committed partner and treating them like a burden. That you have to sacrifice your happiness for, because you made a promise to do something you actually don’t have any control over. To have Bellamy love Clarke and still stay with Echo is immoral.

It’s a messy situation and there is no way to deal with it without hurting everyone involved. NOTHING will make it right while it is happening. But no one did anything wrong to get here. And someone is going to have to make the first move to fix it. WHO? The only one who can’t, in my opinion, is Clarke. Because Bellamy’s feelings for Echo or Clarke is something she’s not privy to, because she’s on the outside after 6 years. Echo however knows Bellamy’s feelings after 6 years. And knows what it means that she’s back. I’m sure she does. If Echo stays with Bellamy, that is also immoral on HER part. Because she would be forcing him to stay in this situation that he committed himself to before knowing how things would change. And she called that problem before she even knew Clarke was alive.

This moral outrage that Bellamy *might* cheat with Clarke before ending it with Echo is a shallow moral outrage. This morality is simplistic and conventional and sexually conservative, and does not allow for the truth of the situation to be considered. You are actually acting as if a kiss or even sex is more important than the incredibly serious feelings and really heavy debt and epically intense connection and partnership that is already there.

Look. I think cheating sucks. I never have and I never will cheat. But it’s not the sex or kissing someone else other than your partner that makes it bad. It’s the LIES. It’s living a double life. It’s the betrayal of a commitment. It’s going around behind your partners back. It’s taking the choice away from them because you want what you want.

Here’s why I don’t have a problem with how they resolve this love triangle, even if there’s overlap. Because there have been no lies. There has been no double life. There has been no betrayal of a commitment. Everyone has been above board.

The only one not being honest here as far as I can tell is Bellamy. And he’s not being honest with HIMSELF. He’s still reeling with the rapid changes and finding out Clarke is alive and still trying to figure out what it all means. He’s not even lying to himself, he just has not reconciled Clarke being alive with what it means to his relationship with Echo. He’s confused.

I am seriously not trying to make anyone else agree with my morality. Listen. I’m not christian, I’m a buddhist, and i don’t have any of your moral purity issues. This doesn’t exist in my life. I was taught to seek enlightenment within myself, not a way to get into heaven by being a good girl and following cultural expectations. But people keep bringing this up and won’t let me just not care. So here. Here’s why. Let me unpack for you why cheating is bad, and why, even if there is bellarke sex before b/e breaks up, and it is technically cheating, it is not really a MORAL issue. It is a tragic circumstance that they all find themselves in and must untangle. It’s still bad and painful, but it is not immoral because of the specific situation.

#the 100 #bellarke #b/e #love triangle #gray morality #cheating #we could solve everything by going poly it's not cheating if everyone's on board #bellarcho #but actually i don't think ot3 would work in this situation because bellarke has been placed MUCH higher than b/e and poly should be equal

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warnerbro · 7 years

Conversation

can't keep my hands to myself.

Boo: [So Boo's walking. FINALLY. He feels like he can run. He can, but he's supposed to take it easy. RigHT. He's out and about. Buying groceries. Cleaning his parent's house, working on the plants outside. I guess it's summer? Cilla's apparently has been around, and I'm sure they've agreed to hang out, which is what they are doing??? She walks up. There is a grin. Because it never fades okay. And somehow they've never touched upon that last conversation at lunch right? right. But I'm sure like Celine Dion it all came back, and yeah, Boo's totally remember why, how and exactly when he fell in love Cilla all over again. And it's painful, because he knows he should stay away but fight him, he won't. So she's walked up, Boo gives her a ~Hey, and crossed his arms over his chest.]

Cilla: [Cilla's walking a veRY thin line right now, heading over to Boo's parents' place again and again, especially with her fiance not knowing that that's what she's doing, but now that it was the position she'd put herself in, she couldn't imagine wanting to change it. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong. They were just friends again, that was all. Donnie would freak out over just that, but that didn't make it wrong. Just friends. No big deal, right? None. So, she comes up to the house, and sees Boo, that big grin on his face as usual nowadays, and she gives a soft smile back.] ~Hey back.

Boo: So, i'm gonna need you to change your shoes. [he looks down at her feet.] No holes in my grass. Fresh new, nice grass. [There's a sigh and an ulterior motive. An idea in mind-- because member that one lake? they gOIN.]

Cilla: [She looked down in confusion, then right back up to Boo.] You say that like I bought an extra pair of shoes with me. [GOD THE LAKE I DIE.]

Boo: Well I'll just have to carry you then. [because when isn't he carrying Cilla at this point?]

Cilla: [And, as I'm sure it has multiple times in these past few months, her face heats up.] You're supposed to ~take it easy~, Boo.

Boo: [he shakes that big head of his,] Nope. Don't believe in that. Plus, I'm sure I could run a mile right now. But I did have some plans in mind. [ ... for us.......... to hang out.... only.... no other ideas... i swear. ]

Cilla: [She doesn't care, she still feels concern. Like, geez, dude. R E S T.] Plans, huh~? [There is a /hint/ of innuendo in her voice, but honestly, she doesn't mean for it to be that way.] Alright, then. Just don't hurt yourself.

Boo: [So he makes her cover her eyes the whole way fyi, though I'm sure she's been here reCENTLY WITH DONNIE IRPRIp, and I don't know how they get there. maybe cil just walks like a normal person, maybe boo carries her, maybe they take a car because i'm sure it's not actually walking distance but either way Cilla has a blindfold okay. And they arrive because fastFORWARD. ]

Cilla: [Her eyes are still covered I'm presuming, and she's getting this air of deja vu, because this has totally happened before, and she's being lead by Boo, I suppose. She has an idea of what this might be, because, okay, Boo. I see you. But not really, I'm blindfolded.] Can I take this off now?

Boo: HOld, on. Just a minute, Cil. [ so he hurrieS AND CIRCLES THE CAR, OPENS HER DOOR.] now. [REMOVES THE BLINDFOLD. AND LET'S SAY THERE IS A NICE SUNSET LAKE In FRONT OF HER GDI.]

Cilla: [The blindfold drops, and YUP, it's the lake. Good deja vu instincts. She gets this REALLy big smile on her face, because, no, she probably hasn't been here in awhile. Take that. Then she turns her smile from the pretty sunset, back to Boo.] You dweeb.

Boo: [car door slam.] Says the one who was just wearing a blindfold...............................

Cilla: [And she's just gonna INFORM HIM of the fact that it's been awhile.] I haven't been here in ages.

Boo: [So i'm gonna say they are walking towards now? he picks at some plants along the way sure.] Before I moved back home, I would have said the same thing. [ NEW YEARS EVE ] I had forgotten how great it is. How pretty the sky gets, when you're gone for so long you just lose a certain appreciation for some things [THINGS AND YA MAYBE HE MEAN SPEOPLE. OR ONE SPECIFIC ONE WHO IS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM MHM.]

Cilla: Yeah, it's gorgeous. [And she's nodding in agreement with him, and though Parrish sees that double meaning, Cilla does not.] It's like practically nothing's changed. Like, all this time, and it all feels-- looks the same.

Boo: [did i mention he's carrying a blanket, because he is. and they are gonna sit. okay. well he does at least. he leaves room for her. let's watch the sunset k. he nods at her words, though, I'm sure he disagrees to much of an extent. Things are completely changed. And somewhere along all of that time spent away from Cilla and the lake, it's almost too much of a memory that once was. It's something he definitely wants back, but he doesn't press.] It feels the same... [he agREES to tHA TFINE.]

Cilla: [Yup. And that's really all she meant. That it feels the same, but she backtracked on herself yikes. So, she takes a seat on the blanket, almost wearily, because, sitting on a blanket at sunset together? Yikes again. There she is, looking at the pretty sunset, contemplating what the hap is fuckening. She's gonna contemplate and enjoy the view. Sorry bro.]

Boo: [fine we can do silence. we can do painful silence. Because Boo can just sit on with her while contemplating ALL of his horrible life choices especially where they all started... which was ThanKSGIVING A LONG TIME AGO.]

Cilla: [Cilla is now growing tense under thIS WEIGHTY SILENCE, because silences... never good, man. Sometimes worse than screaming. Yup. She shifts a little uncomfortably, throwing a side-glance at Boo who doesn't really seem all that fazed by the fact that they are /just sitting there/. 12 years ago this would have been no problem; normal even. Now it spoke volumes more-- because was he in the middle of thinking too hard too? Geez. More silence growing on.]

Boo: [he feels said side glance, k, he chooses to ignore it for awhile, as his eyes are pressed on the sunset in front of him, but he's having his quiet time. Contemplation runs wild, because yes, he is thinking way too hard, as I'm sure he has been since he tore his god damned acl, and so finally addressing Cilla's side glace he speaks.] What..? [there's a half smile half laughter because stop being weird]

Cilla: [She's torn away from her hap fuckenings because of Boo's voice, and so she turns to him, shifting yet again so she's angled towards him fully.] I'm just-- thinking. I don't know.

Boo: Oh. [he sighs a little too contently because nothign can ruin this moment for him. okay. he's happy. watching the sunset with his old best friend.] Penny for your thoughts?

Cilla: [She sighs, not so contently, because she's SO LIKE, WTF TO EVERYTHING, AND SHE CAN'T GET OVER IT.] I... don't know, Boo. I don't know. I'm thinking about too much. I don't know.

Boo: So... stop thinking? [ya because life's so easy when you're boo warner.]

Cilla: [Nothing but a straight up look of 'are you joking'?]

Boo: [he laughs.] Fine. [retract because bad advise.] What are you thinking about?

Cilla: [She pauses. What exactly does she want to divulge about her thoughts? Geez.] I don't know. This. Right now. Everything. I don't know.

Boo: [it doesn't occur to him, any one of her thoughts. They do not occur to him, because all this time it was one sided. His resurfacing memories-- it was just his guilt, his regret all coming back.] I... [hopefully it was.] I feel it too. [ he picks at some grass at the edge of the blanket I'ms ure.]

Cilla: ... What do you feel? [that's what you get. just that.]

Boo: Just... Memories. [there's a shrug.] That's it. [downcast look. he goes quiet because that's what you get.]

Cilla: [She sighs, because she thought maybe she was getting somewhere as far as him explaining why she was suddenly someone he wanted to see after all of this time, but, of course. No dice. So, maybe she needed to be more straightforward?] Boo... It's not like it was. That's-- clear. What-- What changed? [she didn't even look at him asking this question. I'm sure the sun's down by this point. I guess, so like, harder to see facial expressions now.]

Boo: ["What's changed?"] Ha. [There's a chuckle, a silent one, and maybe only air comes out of his mouth, as that question completely baffles him.] I think that's the thing. [he stares off into the sunset, as I'm sure they are avoiding eye contact.] Nothing ever changed for me, Cilla.

Cilla: [She shakes her head at that, too quickly. Way too quickly, like she's trying to press the escape button on the metaphorical computer of life, yes.] No, don't... Don't say that. You--... [she paused, taking in a breath. and suddenly she became much more serious. more allie on a dock in the rain kind of serious.] Then why? Why didn't you try to fight for me? Why didn't you say something-- other than-- other than how much you couldn't stand me. I know I didn't make it easy, but--... but that didn't change anything for me either! [we are the epitome of allie rn.]

Boo: You didn't make it easy??? You didn't make it easy? Ha. You made it really god damn hard, Cilla! [gives her an ARE YOU SERIOUS look because?!?] You'd made up your mind about me based off of one stupid mistake. [hands in his hair old boo warner is coming because omg he's gonna puLL HIS HAIR OUT ALL OVER AGAIn.]

Cilla: You don't have to remind me of the things I did. I remember. And I know all the things I said, and I know all the things I did, Boo, but... Just because I said one thing, it didn't mean that it was over for me. And it wasn't. It wasn't over for me! And I waited for you for /so long/. But now it's-- [she glances down at her engagement ring and then back to Boo.] it's too late. [she shrugs, probably holding back patented Cilla tears.]

Boo: Well guess what, Princess, it wasn't over for me, either. [deADPAn.] If that wasn't completely obvious. No matter what you did, no matter how much I tried to... No matter which Rocket got in the way...[ his weight on his now shakey palms bcs hearing this is, let's be completely honest, is music to Boo's ears. Not her tears-- though, he sure was used to them by now, but GDI, that was all he needed to hear for what was to come next.] It's not too late. [ shaking his HEAD BCS NOPE, and just to show her that is completely undeniably not over, he's gonna grab that stupid pretty face of hers and kiss those god damn lips.]

Cilla: [The back of Cilla's mind was screaming, but there was an even louder screaming coming from the front of her mind, blocking the things in the back that were saying 'stop while you're ahead'. Because, honestly, all she'd wanted to hear all these years were those words coming from him. She was ready to respond, but before she could realize what was going on, Boo was kissing her. And as much as she wanted to tell herself that she should stop, she couldn't. She just pressed further into him, because it'd been 12 years too long, man.]

Boo: [HERE WE GO AGAIN. With his hands in Cilla's hair there is some much kissing going on. and on a blanket, in front of the lake and the sun is going down. She's pressed all to close, and his heart is beating so hard and loud in his chest, that the only way to silence it, was too pull her closer. Yes, he'd die happy, there, and then, rolling around on a blanket and kissing the love of his life RIP.]

Cilla: [THERE IS BLANKET ROLLING AND SO MANY KISSING, and yes, all thoughts except for the ones about book warmer are all gone from her mind, just like that. She's weak, swooning even. But, nope. We can't continue this here. Because book warmer needs to do some lifting in this situation. SO. She pulls back, almost a mirror from Christmas, minus the snow. But that same ~look~ is there.] Take me back to your house.

Boo: [and as much as Boo wants to go on, as much as he wanted to continue everything good that was going on there on that goddamn blanket. He doesn't. All he needed was that one kiss to prove Cilla was right, and he got it, right? And maybe that oNE just so happened to turn into more than a kiss, and maybe she WAS looking at him with those big beautiful eyes, so just like normal old Cilla Dodgeson always had-- she left him breathless, weak, and completely under her spell. Huffing for air, and trying to still his heart, he nodded. So he stopped. He shook his head, he pulled away, and let out an inaudible groan and himself sure. He stared at her. His lips on a raging fire because they had been deprived of something so great, but rose to his feet, and held out his hand for her. like come on let's go find a kitchen table instead.]

Cilla: [So, without another word, she grabbed his hand and stood from the blanket. Logic, at this point, is all but turned off for Cilla, as it tended to do when it came to *coughcough* physicality with Boo Warner. So, she waited for him to lead the way, breathin all heavy, and all excited for the kitchen table. Yup.]

Boo: [So he leads her to the car, holding her hand all the way there. He stop to open the car door for her, but I'm just gonna say before letting her step in he gives her one more kiss. just becAUSE HE CAN. So the car ride I'm sure is going to be painfully silent, and so they arrive back home. Boo pulls into the drive way, and ya he's going to sit there and stare at her again. Keys out of the ignition. He sighs and plants them eyes on her, and gives her a look, like are we doing this.]

Cilla: [She doesn't ALLOW herself to turn her thinking back on, even while she's just sitting in the car. That would be far too dangerous. But, when the car stops, and Boo just looks at her, she reads that unspoken question, and with the biggest sigh, she says nothing, but she just grabs him by the shirt and pulls him towards her, pressing lips together, and holding that kiss for at least twelve long, hard seconds. Then she pulls back, raising an eyebrow like, 'dOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION']

Boo: [Boo Warner had never felt so in over his head in his life, that was until Cilla kissed him once more. Just as a car ride was easy to calm him, there were her lips to remind him of everything he had missed out on. And as cruel that reminder happened in a car of all places, the look in her eyes sealed his fate. So she pulled away, and he pulled on the car door handle, and he was out in a matter of seconds, because there was no more waiting. they weren't kids anymore, there wasn't time to waste. He had a lady to kiss, even more, so when he circled back around the car to meet her, he pressed his lips so hard against hers, that sure she was raised up, and sure he was definitely lifting her up and it wasn't BEFORE LONG UNTIL makING OUT against the car got old, so there they go ACROSS THE ThreSHOLD OF HTE WARMER RESIDENCE, and torn acl? NOPE, against, the car, against the front doorway, and YEP.]

Cilla: [Again, everything seemed to be calling back to when they were teenagers. The car, the way she felt, the way she was being lifted up into Boo's arms, the fear that something was going to interrupt them. Everything was the same. She was no longer in control. Every action was a reaction to Boo, and yup, she was against a doorway. Was she now trying to get clothes off? You guessed it. Difficult, given she's pressed against a door. But she's trying with all of her might to get some form of clothing off. Oooooooh boy.]

Boo: [Where were his clothes? Mostly gone, yep. Her's? Surely, some were being ripped off now? And where were they? It was hard to keep track from all the bumping into furniture, and into hallways and out of them. There weren't words to express 1. how passionately, 2. how carefully, and 3. how intensely that boy-- or rather full grown man was handling that lady. There were too many emotions boiling over and he'd be cruel to stiffle any of it from that woman, so he didn't. With every kiss, with every touch, with every breath, he made sure that she was aware of how exactly he was feeling, felt, and would always feel. As there were so many emotions for her in the past- he'd admired her, he loved her, he hated her, but in every moment of his life, he'd always just wanted her. He was thankful that there on that kitchen table she was giving herself to him, or rather-- just her clothing, sh, in returen and surely if she wanted to she could take his heart and lock it away in that old locket of hers, seal it shut, and toss away the key. Just like their first time, just like every other time they had spent together with their bodies entwined it would never be enough to fully express how much that wonderful human being meant to him. So he placed careful nibbles at the nape of her neck as the wooden table served as a pillow to his head, I GUESS>]

Cilla: [Her head was swimming. With what? Too many things, and all of them about how she was feeling in this moment. Emotionally, that is. (Though...) She couldn't keep track of where they were, where various pieces of clothing had fallen, when the last time she took a breath in was... She was lost; one hundred percent, completely lost. And, really, it all felt too much like a dream. (One that she'd had-- too many time over the past 12 years.) But it had to be real. It had to. Because while it felt like a dream, it also felt too /real/ to not be reality. The dreams never felt like this; never had this much pure emotion. Because, suddenly, she was sixteen again, and every touch Boo gave felt like the first one all over again, and it was like she was floating. Because, everything made her remember just /how much/ it had never been over, or would ever be over. It made her realize that this was an inevitability. So, when his lips moved to her neck, giving her a chance to speak, though completely breathless, here we go--] I want to make you-- forget you've ever /ever/-- been with anybody else. It's just me.

Boo: [She spoke, and her words sent tingles up his spine. TINGLES. HELP. BUT Little did she know that it was already just her. Or it would be, from now until he was old and dead. Nail in the coffin, as he nodded, because, Princess, go on, and make me forget, k. so in between breaths his lips found their way back to hers, and his hands surely pinned hers against that stupid dumb kitchen table-- until finally he scooped her back up in his arms and they were moving again, and headiNG toWARDS THE BEDROOM. with her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, help bye. ican't]

Cilla: [Ups-a-daisy she goes, wrapped up around him again in a lovely quick trip to the bedroom, with lots of kisses along the way. Then she's on a bed, and now that she's not pinned down somewhere, she's going to take this opportunity to roll herself on top, and this is where the forgetting starts, because boy howdy, she's not a little sixteen year old anymore, damn it. She is a GROWN-ASS WOMAN, and she knows what she's doing. So, her hands are going to his hair, and her lips are going to his neck. And forget chaste pecks, son. That's not happening here. Nope. The goal here is to leave Cilla marks. M a n y Cilla marks. This is her territory. Deal with it.]

Boo: [So, sure, there they went, crashing down into the soft mattress, or rather-- there went Boo. He was joined,of course, and in her natural state, Cilla Dodgeson was driving Boo Warner completely insane. Mark after each and every mark, he grew restless, and it probably showed as his fingers were completely tangled in her hair. So he dealt with it. Yeah, because he had to, but it wasn't for long, as he was determined to rip the remaining clothes off of that woman. And once they were, he kissed her once more. It was a peck of a kiss, and he pulled away to catch his breath, but somewhere in between, his eyes landed on hers, and even more so, it all came flooding back. The memories. That feeling inside of him, that juvenille, young feeling of complete happiness-- the one feeling he'd lost so long ago, when he lost her. It came back. So he stared for as long as patience allowed, until he finally kissed her, tenderly as he pressed her closer to him and definitely rolling them over and definitely bye]

#locked #needed it here #apologizin for spam

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